#im starting to lose it

[keeganbrainmush]

lieutenant Simon RIley? more like lieuteCUNT.

[darkdragontail]

Seriously? Again?

[gonzo-n-kermit]

Litterally just felt like posting this

[anne-the-insomniac]

I'm Mr. Loverman

And I miss my lover, man.

[kyliansnumber1]

Ok so i was just going through kylian's instagram followings and.... what is this 😭 why does he follow that account.... what if the account is his secret girlfriends or something ☹️

[kotenokk]

day one million without red dead redemption 2

[trap4nr0t]

6 eylül, 2023

i have a scar on my knee.

it happened one morning, while i was sitting in the balcony of my childhood house with my knees pulled against my chest.

in my childhood house, i always sit with my knees pulled against my chest. because i'm used to that. because even if i don't remember why, my body seems to remember. i believe it does so to protect itself; my unreliable, fragile, beautiful shield made of skin and blood. it's almost tragic how it tries to defend what's left in it with all it's power. even though it's not very strong. even though the organs inside it are tired and the mind it bears frequently can't stand it.

in my childhood house, I always sit with my knees pulled against my chest. i don't remember why. the walls remember.

I had a cigarette between my lips when the music started to play, and it was the most delightful piece of noise put together I've ever heard. i turned my head around to see where it was coming from. the cigarette between my lips pressed against my knee. i barely even flinched, i was too intrigued in the sound to feel what has happened to me. turns out i pressed it with enough force to put out the small flame it bore tucked away in it's very core.

the sound dimmed for a while and i looked at my knee. first it was swolen. then it bled. soon after it got infected. the source of music came closer and once again i was too distracted to tend for my small open wound.

with time, my wound became a scar. people who saw it grimaced. they tried to tell me it looked bad. i suppose it was kind of a gruesome sight. not to me though. i found my new scar beautiful. the small distorted tissue of skin; a creation of mine, some pain i inflicted upon myself while my body was trying to keep itself safe from the harm that could approach from outside, a medal given to me for being able to enjoy at least some parts of this life i was leading. i was alive. i wore it proudly to everywhere.

i have a scar on my knee, and for a while, it was the most beautiful thing on my body.

it reminded me of the sounds existence. it reminded me to keep searching for the source.

but by creation music is bound to end, just like how by creation the harm that could kill is bound to come from inside the house.

when the music stops, the source is lost.

and sometimes a scar is just a scar.

i have a scar on my knee.

i think it looks ugly.

[study-diary1007]

I've reached a point of sadness and loneliness that I want to write a song or journal about it...

:((((((((

[devious-dookie-enjoyer]

ao3 is down im going to wallow in my own sorrow

[ando666detonao]

don't you ever read a piece of fanfiction so good you just

[gensy]

I wish I could function as a normal person. I’m genetically predisposed to being bedridden while also unable to sleep properly. It’s such a fucking awful balancing act of not having enough energy to leave bed and feeling too sick to fall asleep.

[ikigaisvt]

jeonghan i challenge you to post something tomorrow!!!!

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[mittland]

bruce springsteen by eric meola, 1975

[reverienco]

what the fuck am i doing. scheduling this at 1am.

[theoldkyokodied]

Uploading all my Tomgreg art at once from the past few week before season 4 hits, who knows in what kind of mental state i'm gonna be once it does :')