#im sure theres more im too lazy rn though

[crazyyyslots]

the very quickly and poorly edited kārlis vārtiņš white boy dancing compilation ft others

[snekdood]

so op made the post unrebloggable bc they're a coward and probably too many ppl with brains were pointing out how conspiratorial they sounded but here was gonna be my response lmao:

heres the link to the last article since it'll be relevant to my response

so two things about that last article.

1.it was posted in 2022.

2. while the dude does suck and you should totally stop using spotify anyways (for a myriad of reasons that are unrelated to this) it's about how the CEO helps fund instruments of war- not the wars themselves. he's not out here meddling in specific wars, it seems more like he thinks war is a necessity in general. until we know the dudes a loud and proud christian zionist (and even then i doubt hes as hands on with this company as ppl are thinking he is) i think its a little conspiratorial to say this was all planned this way. I don't think theres enough evidence to work with to conclude that was The reason, especially since upon looking it up, in 2017 and 18 spotify wrapped was released on the 6th of december, 2019 on the 5th of december, and 2020 on the 2nd of december. it was only 2021 that it was dec 1st and 2022 that it was nov 30th, not every time it was released. what this leads me to believe more than anything is that they're trying to push the date back, especially since in the article im getting these dates from it says this at the bottom of this section:

Maybe they were able to finish compiling everything earlier, and wanting to get your wrapped info out to you, perhaps for the holidays so friends and family know what kind of music or whatever to buy for you, idk, giving the benefit of the doubt over here. someone else mentioned how they release the last week of november, which tracks, and im more willing to believe thats the reason.

The fact that its posted earlier than usual can be seen as pretty strange given the day chosen + the fact we know he thinks war is necessary, it's at least really bad timing and spotify should expect to get some shit for it for sure and deserves to quite frankly since it does distract a bit from calling for a ceasefire (i dont think it distracts as much as op thinks though...), but ig I just personally dont think theres enough evidence to conclude things are one way or the other yet. I dont think funding for shit like ai data collection or robot dogs or whatever tf, while shitty, is the same as supporting this specific war

This post is also suggesting that ceos are the end all be all of decisions and ig since we dont know how much of a hand the ceo had in spotify wrapped this year at all (likely none. hes probably busy rolling around in money) we can't know for sure that it was his choice to release it today. that could be the reason or like I said they've been wanting to push the dates back, or maybe the release date all depends on how quickly they compile the wrapped data and how quickly they can shit it out, and the sooner the better, or maybe they release on the last week of november (leaning on this one)

ig I just personally dont think all of spotify- every moving part- was able to work together on this with the same exact goal of getting this out today specifically to spite palestinians, unless the ceo is quite literally whipping everyone into action (which i kinda doubt. ceos just seem too lazy to me for that, and I think there'd be a lot of push back and we'd hear about it from employees who quit/were fired)

it's either spotify's ceo banking on plausible deniability (doubt) or ppl just being quick to be a bit conspiratorial about things rn (most likely). either way I just dont think theres enough info to conclude either way and I think we should discourage paranoid thinking.

[tears-of-boredom]

its honestly kinda a bummer that i have school tomorrow because i am very excited to get into that zone where you just have so much energy to pack shit and you can finally throw away shit you dont need because it'll just be an inconvinirnce otherwise. yeah so, from the way my mom talked about it, i just kinda assumed that we were gonna move in the end, so I saiföd something about it starting with "so since we're seemingly going to move-" and mom was so confused why i thought that we were "seemingly going to move". and it was so awkward because? hello?? you were the one who even brought it up, you were the one who said that it would be better for us to move, and the only other two people living in this house genuinely want to move. but yeah awkwardness aside, we are moving. not sure when, cuz of all the bill and adult schematic stuff. probably soon, cause the months changing like uhh in three days, and ya know all the contract stuff starts at the beginning of the month, so its always more convenient to plan a move on the end of the month...ill see if i can rile myself up tomorrow after school to atleast start on sorting some stuff....also in finnish, a department store is literally called a "stuff house" and stuff as in like "my stuff was stolen"...yeahg...and also theres like this person i meet with occasionally in like a "I'm their client" way, and the meetings kind of tire me out...I don't like the person that much, they remind me of my mom..I cant bring myself to tell anyone that though...and they'd just replace them with another person, and idk I dont like having these kinds of meetings with adults and shit...cause i always end up doing some activity that I dont want to do, because i cant bring myself to say "no" harsh enough. and then I feel bad because i just wasted so much of my time doing shit that is supposed to be for the betterment of me and my mental health....but I just dont trust myself to decline help anymore, because i feel like i cant tell when someone's "help" is actually benefitting me or not...I hate this...this is why I wanna get into the packing zone and just turn my brain off for a day...I also havent eaten so i feel even more shitty,......I was gonna say im too lazy to go eat but you know what im gonna go get some bread rn. brb.

the bread was not there. i fucking hate this household.

[tsubasaclones]

long ass clear card theory ramblings because my brain decided to go into ccs mode instead of letting me sleep :)

so when i was rereading the ccs manga there was some part about how clow looked into the future and saw that sakura was going to be the master of the cards so he made the staff specifically for her and i was just like. so if sakura was 100% always going to get them why was syaoran sent on a mission to get them? thats kind of fucked up to send him on a mission hes literally destined to fail. but then i was like “well, his mom probably had no idea sakura was 100% guaranteed to get the cards”

BUT

in clear card, theres some line about how syaoran didnt want the future his mom foretold about sakura being in danger to pass or whatever (im too lazy to find my screenshot rn but thats basically what it says) which implies, you know, she can see the fucking future right. so she would have been able to see that he wasnt going to get the cards at the time that she sent him over originally right. so if thats the case why the fuck did she send him on a mission she knew it was literally impossible for him to accomplish. i have 2 reasons i could think of:

1. she knew he wasn’t going to get the cards then but that he was going to get them later and so in her mind that was still a success so she sent him anyway. which would be manipulative as fuck. i doubt this one is the case though it seems like. TOO mean

2. she knew that sakura would get the cards, and that she would be in danger in the future, and that if she sent syaoran over there he would want to protect her, and so she was like using him as a proxy for herself to protect sakura (?) which is also manipulative as fuck. i hope this one isnt the case either but if either of these two were to be the case i feel like this one would be more likely ???

anyway if there IS an explanation and its not just a huge oversight its probably (hopefully) something nicer than the two scenarios i came up with. i feel like theyre kind of pessimistic anyway lmao. i think his mom probably does have good intentions in the end but i just uh question her method of making her son live alone in a foreign country as a literal child for a mission he was predestined to not accomplish???

anyway, all else aside, he was given a mission by his mother who is also the head of his magic clan, and he failed at it. i feel like this would affect him negatively and yet its never brought up again. except in clear card he DOES have the old cards now, but the reason they give for him taking them is so he can protect sakura, which, well fucking duh i can see that ive read the clear card manga its pretty damn obvious. but i cant help but wonder if theres a subconscious secondary reason too like, say, proving that he CAN get the cards he IS good enough. and in one of his fights with kaito kaito has some line like “rewriting contracts takes a lot of power are you sure you did it just for her” and like yeah he was definitely trying to piss him off with inflammatory statements but THATS NOT THE KIND OF LINE YOU JUST DROP AND NEVER MENTION AGAIN. and later on kaito turns back time on the fight so syaoran wouldnt even remember that line at least for now but i am telling you that shit is going to come back theres no way it wont.

that being said i still think overall he mostly did it to protect sakura (and the cards could clearly see that too, i mean they went with him willingly, let us not forget) but its possible he had a second underlying reason that he isn’t even aware of himself

and sakuras not completely innocent in this either. i mean she is 100% the reason they cant have physical contact currently. this isnt even a theory at this point i am 100% certain and if i am not right i will be very very surprised. let me explain:

so when the new cards first start appearing theyre like “i dont sense anyone elses magic how could this be happening?!?!?” and of course later on they reveal that its because it’s SAKURA’S magic behind the cards because she’s been making them subconsciously. and then when they start not being able to touch her IMMEDIATE reaction is that it’s because of her, albeit she thought it was because she made a new card, but theres no new card. and then theyre like “its not a card and i dont sense kaitos magic how could this be happening?!?!?” EXACTLY like how it was when the new cards started appearing. so it would make sense that the answer to this, too, is “it’s sakura doing it subconsciously”

at the end of the day i think they just need to sit down and talk about their feelings because they are literal children of course they are going to make mistakes. you know what they say about how everything will definitely be alright

[pachimation]

hiya, I really love your art, and how you make your latest stuff look really vintage and aged, it’s really super cool and I was wondering if you’d be willing to share your process for that?? thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful day!!! :D

aww thanks so much! and of course i can share my process, no prob!! ^^

i’ll be using this piece as an example, and uh, for the context of it u might have to look on twitter lol. but whatever

it’ll be a bit long so everything is under the cut

(this is just based on my process, and i know its weird and csp specific.

feel free to pick and choose pieces from my process!)

and also the programs i used were procreate and csp and i have a mac. u could probably do this with other set ups, but this tutorial might not be super helpful near the end

i usually make my lineart in procreate and import it into csp as a .psd file

for this, in procreate, select the file you want to export and click PSD and then I airdrop it to my mac.

i think the only thing about the lineart i have tips on is to keep it toothy/gritty if that makes sense?

i use the 6B pencil in procreate with a bunch of tweaks to the pressure sensitivity and opacity/size change.

but anything with a good size jitter should do the job!

in csp i shade and color the piece.

picking out the colors is a whole other mess

feel free to ask about it but ill skip for now ;v;

flat colors

csp has a lot of nice halftone options!

group up ur lineart and everything thats black rn in a folder and above them set a clipping layer to add

fill it with a color lighter than black; the less pure blacks and white u have on a piece the better

feel free to go to town w the grunge or noise texture of ur choosing! the grittier the better bc during this step i try to get the feel of worn off ink. just make sure the linearts still visible, though. u went through all the trouble to make it after all! ^^

(i have specific brushes but again thats something else u can ask me about)

above all the layers, make a multiply layer and do something similar.

same advice as above

this is ur “paper” texture, tho, so try to keep it more even in tone so things don’t get too messy

(but if it works for u, feel free to do it! find what works is my advice!)

ok time for some super csp-specific steps (sorry to non-csp users)

the csp asset store/website(?) has a lot of nice textures and brushes available.

look through it if u haven't

it will make ur life so much easier

theres a really nice tileable watercolor texture set there

(this one specifically)

(it also had some really good paper texture bc whoever made this is a godsend)

i slap that over the color layer, set it to clipping, and mess with the blending modes

its usually a tossup between soft light, overlay, multiply, and the overlay texture effect tho

theres another optional step of using the overlay texture effect on a paper texture

i didn’t do it on this example sorry :’(

i think i used another watercolor texture set to soft light on this piece?

after that, if u want, i like setting a noise texture at a v low opacity over everything for extra jitter

(i use this one. u can just make it in csp and probably any other drawing software but im lazy lmao)

save it as a png/jpg/etc.

and ur done!

i do some extra stuff to the final image like scale everything down and add a bit of a 3D effect for a bit of extra kick

(but again thats a bit complex and specific so feel free to ask but ill keep it short

for your sanity’s sake)

(and once again, the final image! ta-da!)

some tips to keep in mind i guess

jitter, grit and noise textures are very good things when u want something to look rough

avoid pure blacks and whites; most paper isn’t printed pure black or white and it only gets more faded and colored with time

if ur super lost, look at reference!! theres a lot of good artists and media out there to get inspiration from, and looking at scans of actual old comics is a nice way to see if ur work looks aged

(also u don’t have to use old comics as reference; i like looking at old vcr footage for reference bc of the texture!! :D)

that’s all i have for my general process

uhh for specifics feel free to ask

i can make more tutorials but this one is a general overview, i just didn’t to take up too much of ur time….

but i really hope it helped! and im very sorry if it didn’t 

i’ve never made a tutorial so im sorry if it didn’t answer ur question and also im sorry if this one’s not very useful

thank you for reading!!!

and thank you to whoever asked! :D

[scandeniall]

wash day head canons (black!reader)

kuroo, sakusa, atsumu, iwaizumi x black f!reader

Now this is hella self indulgent for my fellow black bbys on here with 4 of my top 5 boys helping on wash day. Now reminder babies, our hair is beautiful. It doesnt matter if your 3a high porsity or 4c low porosity (like me oop). And any of these clowns would be blessed for his bby to have your hair!

Kuroo

He’ll help if you ask. You just want company? He got you. He the bf you ask to go get the scissors so you can cut the braids shorter and you actually trust him to not cut your hair.

Hes gentle when taking the braids out, not really commenting on how dirty it might be

But hes ass at the pre-poo stage

Like this mf will MISS sections

And will be like “damn thats crazy my bad” when you tell him. But it happens EVERY time 

He lets you wear one of his tshirts the first time you ever spent your wash day with him, and it just becomes your official wash day shirt

He the bf that’ll go get you food if your hungry, bc theres no way in hell youre going out with only half of your braids in

Hes sweet though and kisses you before he goes.

He’s annoying and like “let me hop in the shower w/ you” (partly to see you naked, partly bc them products smell good)

I can just see him as the type to be deadass mesmerized by shrinkage and the type to just play with the bouncy coils

Now listen, he is NOT washing my hair but he can look. He’d try work through sections but will tangle tf out of your hair

Anyways, once your’e out at this point hes tired (shit me too), so just kinda vibes out in the same room while you do your hair

Once he asked to help you post wash, and you say why not, and he go to apply product and he will be the “quarter size amount” type

“Kuroo- what are you doing with that”

“Uh about to put it in” and he look at you like DUH

“Damn my hair about to be dry af” you have to help that boy out. 

But he also the type to know how expensive hair products are bc he listens to you when you talk and is just like ????

Idk i love kuroo, he wouldnt be terrible help, but not professional helper status

Sakusa

Now listen here. This mf is NOT helping with the takedown process. He saw you do it once and saw the built up dirt and said “yeah ima head out”

Plus, he’s not about to touch all that fucking braid hair

You: Yoomi do you wanna help me-

Him- no

But alright once you're actually washed he’s better. 

Since wash day take the whole day, and if its a day where he doesnt have v-ball stuff hes more than content to just sit and turn on something for you both to watch for the day.

Your arms hurt from detangling post wash? Yeah you not about to rest your wet ass head anywhere

He hates the feel of your products, but if you ask with the right look and tone of voice (grossly sweet), he’ll take over a section with product application

Apply generously? He got you.

If the product works for his hair too, he IS the type to buy products for the both of you

Anyways back to him helping post wash/condition. Hes good at finger detangling

Yall know i hc him as having a secondary love language of touch-

Anyways on that note, at that point he’ll let you sit between his legs in front of your big ass floor mirror and yeah when he feeling extra soft and domestic, kisses on your temple

You put him on to bonnets lets be real here (he got a collection bc he washes his way more than you do LMAO)

Atsumu

Now hes USELESS

Type to tease and be like “this mean I can go out to the club without you”

He would not help your ass at all during the takedown

Once he tried (and actually tried) and almost cut your real fucking hair

“C’mon babe, I won’t do it again”

“Absolutely not”

Another “let me join you in the shower ass mf”

He’s hot so um yeah ima just get on my knees at this point. He don’t even gotta ask

“This is a good time for ya to let yer deep conditioner sit”

“Don’t tangle my hair even further” you gotta redirect his hands though

Anyways when thats done, don’t trust him with a comb near your scalp at ALL

He doesn’t mean to be rough, but this man is impatient

Hes annoying and just sits on the bathroom counter while you just going through it

The type to mess around with your products

Another boy you put on to the magic of scarves and bonnets

His shit already deep fried with that dye and he cant afford more damage

Hes headass and wants yall to have matching ones

Iwaizumi

Yeah hes the best

Whatever you want baby, he got you

You can trust him with the scissors

Once you told him about the importance of being gentle when taking the braids out and stuff, he makes a conscious effort to make sure hes gentle

You say you can’t hang out bc its wash day? Yeah he’s right there with you

He’ll gather your stuff for you if you asked. Wide tooth? He got it. Spray bottle? check

If you listen to music while you take your hair down, he’s just vibing, whether its with him helping or keeping you company

Now I hate doing my hair and would be a simp for someone who does like this, so yeah lemme get a distraction smooch

He indulges for a little bit, maybe a few little touches and gropes until

“You’re gonna complain all night if you don’t get this done today”

Then back to business

He wont hop in the shower with you unless you ask

But once you come out with your hair mask sitting and shit, he’d have a snack for yall

Scalp massages!!!!

He got the oil, the love for you and everything

He’s just the right amount of rough that it feels good, but not to where it’d damage and frizz up

Iwaizumi perfect boyfriend thank u

a/n: now this sucks and ive never written actual hq headcanons, but i dont have the brain power to write full lengths rn and this is a mess of words and i want someone to luv me and my hair LMAO. (i was gonna do akaashi bc he rounds off my top 5 but im lazy). Also idk i wanted to write something and had ZERO ideas

[disaster-bay-leaf]

Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)

[blurays]

.

if i could be sure id die then i really would kill myself lol

with my luck though i'd survive and it'd just ruin my life a bit more

im really tired no one cares about what i go through anymore im tired of feeling like i have so bad but feeling like its not bad enough for anyone to really care lol

i was like doctors are ruining my life n my mom rolls her eyes and says its only six weeks like yeah its six weeks of nothing but pain and depression and isolation so on and then it still hurts and the next thing starts

no one gets or cares how sad i am lmao i wouldnt wanna deal w sad bitter unpleasant glass bones paper skin terminally ill girl either probably so i cant blame anyone but here we are. i am living for literally no other reason than that i am Supposed To

ppl claim they care but everyone has their own problems. and lies when they say they understand or empathize w mine. and the couple people who do care abt me my mentally ill brain wont let me process it and i feel vaguely bad for them and they live like several thousand miles away. and theres always the distant thought that theyll probably hate me eventually too

everything feels rlly insurmountable lmao every time i have a little bit of hope things just get worse. and again no one even cares like. sorry that my slow death and near constamt physical misery that makes me wanna fully give up seems to really inconvenience everyone else

also really fucking mad abt the fact that if anyone should be in the experimental no sling is better than keeping u immobilized for 6 weeks category it should be me someone who doesnt do sports shit and is incredibly young for a replacement but doctors suck lmao im going to try at my next appointment but i rly might just be like u can put me into physical therapy rn or dont but im not ruining my own quality of life so that u can be lazy and prescribe everyone the same type of recovery 

[bucksbisexual]

so....... i watched ep6 since apparently i like pain now and oh my fucking GOD

first of all, INKORN!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!

but also, INKORN TTTTTTT_TTTTTTT

TEARS PEOPLE. T EA R S

okay let me start from the beginning because what an episode yall

so . we start with a flashback and it was cute ! if only the last one was too HAHAHAHAHimcrying

team being like “hm...... manaow and del are really close lately......... Are They........” after i literally said it out loud was the biggest shared braincell moment i’ve ever had in my life and mind u i have a big sister who i’m very close with lmaO

(also, women are gay too pharm smh)

win being a little bitch with his I’m An Adult Bitch You Can’t Tell Me Shit to team god i love him sjfhksjf

DEAN HOLDING PHARM’S HAND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

pharm just going into cardiac arrest after dean interlocks their fingers is the biggest mood ever

also manaow baby that’s- that’s not how you check if someone is sick JKSHFSJHS

“don’t forget to eat your lunch” “don’t forget to swallow it too” “beware of choking” THEY REALLY- FHSKGFSLJJFKS

yes i went back to the episode to write that i have no memory whatsoever

i was so scared when dean had his flashback while driving like i was praying to every god in existence for him to not crash,,,, the flashback was cute though

that tear though........ that shit Hurt

but korn saying “like” !!!!!!! half of my brain was like “HE!!!!! LIKES!!!!!! HIM!!!!!!!!” and the other half was just “omg like ram” lmao

pharm calling manaow beautiful ;; yes she is she’s the most beautiful girl ever i love her with my whole heart

that mf guy who doesn’t know the meaning of no can CHOKE (also i heard the actor’s problematic or sumn???? so fuck him too bYe)

thankfully pharm is That bitch and shut him up not once not twice but a shit ton of times in like,,,, less 2 minutes

that’s my mans man hell yeah

apparently everyone in dean’s faculty knows pharm?????? lmaoooooo but when those 2 (and later 3) tried to flirt with him i was like???????? get tf out?????????? out here abusing of pharm’s niceness smh

thankfully dean came to the rescue jsfhsk

bro when pharm picked a thread and it led to dean i was like....... oh my God they actually did that

the FORESHADOWING bro

also that kiss scene......................... perfect i loved it even though i hate their outfits so much but i can get over it if it gives us this amazing scene

dean just ;; being patient with pharm and asking if he’s okay and just asking him until he gives oral (is it vocal? girl idk) answers to the questions he makes just to be sure ;;

god why can’t men be like dean why do u have to be Assholes smh

AND THE RED THREAD!!!!! BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!

dean making pharm wear his jacket sjfhksj u couldn’t be more territorial bro literally (and apparently) everyone knows you’re into each other theres truly no need jfshkf

“if it doesn’t invade our privacy too much, i think it’s okay. also, i think it’s a good way to let that person know that he shouldn’t mess with someone who isn’t single”

first of all, DEAN U ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART

second of all, the shadeeeeeeeeee lmao yes bitch drag his ass

and last, SKJLFHGLJKHSLKHKSJG

thank u for listening to my tedtalk

i will repeat myself, why can’t all men be like dean

also, a bonus: i of course went to the episode to get the dialogue and i saw the name lemon lemon and i was like “wait..... is that manaow???” so i google translated her name and it does mean lemon omg thats SO cute i love her even more rn

okay i don’t know if it’s only me but the girls from the cooking club? the best girls ever me thinks

okay we’re approaching the last part of the episode yall i felt so many emotions in like 13 minutes

we start with the worst, a Flashback.

i literally saw the outfit and started crying. like. no joke.

the mother??? sister?????? aunt?????? being hella worried and in being like “it’s okay i’ll be back in like . 2 seconds”

THIS BTICH NEVER CAME BACK

the little girl please i’m legit going to cry again thinking about her and imagining her waiting for in to come back home and just.... not really understanding whats happening when her mother (im guessing here) starts sobbing when she picks up the phone

OH MY GODDDDDDDD

also according to like,,, timeline and shit inkorn were  from the 60s or 80s right???? which means she’s still alive if nothing has happened to her..................

HAHA so much fun in this blog! just joy laughter and happiness!

also it was in’s birthday.............. oh my goodness

okay moving on to something that hurts less! team being the dunk boy on the booth omg win this is not how u flirt

also i realised that the open house thing happens like... mid first semester so it hasn’t been that long since deanpharm know of each other/have been talking damn bro

win teasing pharm is like,, one of my favourite things lmao i might do a gifset of these moments when i finish the drama if i’m not too lazy

deanpharm holding hands in public tho ;;;;;;; ok bitch call me single and ugly a little less louder

win though SJFKHS *looks at team’s hand* team: no. go away

oh god oh god oh godddddddd here comes the thread talk

the moment team said suicide i stopped the episode because i thought Something would happen to pharm but oh GOD I WAS NOT EXPECTING WHAT HAPPENED

THE STARES!!!!!!!! THE REALISATION!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE “PROMISE” AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT THE FUCKUGISFUIKGJHSLGWJ

i will literally never recover

also i paused that scene so much just to scream into my comfort stuffed toy and i’m so sorry for her

i also couldn’t help but think of how the others at the table were like because if that was me idk what i’d do

i might cry or be like “wow u guys are such great actors” but inside my head because i’m an introvert

but god that was,,,,,,, yeah

and when they of course showed The flashback scene and i saw in’s outfit i cried because he truly never went back home

okay i think that’s it i literally took almost an hour to write this because i tried following the episode while having a thousand thoughts in my head + make lots of typos lmao

i hope these aren’t too bothersome to u guys ;; i post these because i need to share my thoughts somewhere but if someone doesn’t want to see them u can mute the tags i use in these posts or something hhhhh

i might use an specific one for these tho because if i gotta make 17 of these at least let’s make them be organised some way,,,,,

alrighty that’s all byebyeeeee

[scige-archive]

welcome 2 my twisted mind ex dee ?

PREFERRED NAME — james uwu

PRONOUNS — she/they

AGE — 20

TIMEZONE — est

HOW OFTEN ARE YOU ONLINE? — everyday all day usually hjfdnkmg

HOW DID YOU HEAR OF WATERSHED? — i actually first found lockwood while going through the recommended blogs on mobile when you search up things via it (i think it was ‘new rp’ tht i searched) n then the next i checked they’d gone ovr to watershed n then there were Other Things bt i didnt end up joining until a few weeks or like a month later impulsively n now its been many months n im still here BJDNSKFMG love u guys

DISCORD — sniff #3644 where im also always online

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — musing @svrgcnts​ n my pinterest is ‘big tid’ or offbrandsodapop uuuhh i dont think theres anything else!

MYER-BRIGGS — infp turned istp we call tht character growth

HP HOUSE — i honestly dont know anymore ive gotten all of the houses before bt ive just taken a test n i got slytherin so like :///

ZODIAC — aquarius!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — not to the point where it dictates who i like / dislike

DO YOU ENJOY ASTROLOGY? — ya im a slut for when things tell me what im supposed to be like bc i dont have a sense of identity

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — uh like 19 bt ive been rping since i was 10

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — early 2018 so actually i might’ve been 18 for a lil bit DJNKFLG

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — listen i’ve had many, many good experiences bt for some reason what came to mind first was a weird owner/slave smut rp tht i stumbled across (never joined bc im ... not like that) n i was just rly baffled by the concept even tho ik its a Thing bc i thought smut rps died out like in 2017 BJDNFKMG

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — i want a fucking capybara

WHAT PET DO YOU GENUINELY CONSIDER GETTING SOMEDAY? — i want a cat even though im rly allergic to them

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — the apocalypse made me brave by girlfriends

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — um probably like ,,, the crucible ,,,

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — god i dont know i’m not hard to please bt i wont lie i also like ... didn’t finish half the books i was supposed to read in high school. of mice & men maybe ... i hated books that didn’t do much n just wrote a whole bunch of nothing even tho i like those books now ... i think bc they were for school ... outside of school i hated the hazelwood n i think that the grisha trilogy is a bit. weak. bt i love six of crows. n also the um. theres this one YA series tht i never read bt i can tell i dont like NJKSMDFFDG

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — schitt’s creek DSJKNFDGF um i’ve also been watching gossip girl a lot & also asoue & also also i just started watching um end of the f***ing world n its very good so ?? i watched the first episode of his dark materials n i liked it n i havent finished looking for alaska bt its also very good

WHAT FILM DID YOU LAST WATCH? DID YOU LIKE IT? — uuuhh i think it was scream tbh ??? and ya it was p swell

FAVOURITE QUOTE — im a slut for anne carson bt i cant name any quotes directly rn i have rocks for brains

LINK TO A VINE / TIK TOK / VIDEO THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this immediately came to mind

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — i used to write outside of rp bt i havent in ages bt when i do its usually like modern magic / urban fantasy / whatevr those kinda elements n abt faeries bc i like faeries

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL LOVE & TRUST — jenna marbles, micarah tewers, and uh ,,, claire frm bon apetit

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — cary elwes ... andrew scott ... anne hathaway ... first three tht came to mind

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — no bt david dobrik was in miami and i was NOT and im UPSET bc i want his MONEY

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — i am not in pain. thats it thats all

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — jeffrey epstein was murdered haha jk thats not a conspiracy theory thats FACTS

ARE ALIENS REAL? — ya sure why not

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — lily’s garden please play im level 1241

PLAY ANY OTHER GAMES? WHICH ONES? — i played all the bioshock games n rly enjoyed them ... deponia the entire series which is still my favorite video game 2 this day

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — i never finished my rewatch of the golden compass bt thats just bc i didnt feel like finishing it uuuh ... i dont know i enjoy things too easily

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — buttons n seashells and rocks and flowers until theyre dead and then i collect dead flowers and then empty glass bottles that look kinda cool and jewelry boxes or tin containers and i used to kiss an index card every time i wore lipstick and kept it, i had over 100 filed away for no reason at all bt i lost them & then i also collect condoms :/

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — i wna learn how 2 make jewelry n like ,,, embroidery bt i know how to embroider i just wanna get back into it n i wna learn like. knowledge. academic stuff too bt im also too lazy and im just a dumb old horse so :/

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian n french n ig spanish too

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — shrek ? austin powers ? princess diaries / elle enchanted ?? halloweentown n all the sequels ??

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — shawn spencer frm psych, veronica mars, penelope garcia frm criminal minds, mike myers’ cat in the hat, dr. evil frm austin powers bt also his son scott evil, scooby doo probably, daria ??? i relate to my dog bodhi :/ puddles the clown

IS THERE ANY MEDIA (BOOK/MOVIE/GAME/TV SHOW) YOU FEEL CHANGED YOU IN SOME WAY? — six of crows / fleabag / deponia theyve all made me cry before bt like. continuously cry.

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no.

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — um. redacted

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — big fish directed by tim burton go stare at danny devito’s bare ass do it do it do it i never even finished the movie i dont think BJNSKDMLFG

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? (IF NOT APPLICABLE, WHO DO YOU LIKE MOST IN THE TWILIGHT SERIES) — edward

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — um thts rly hard bc i dont know bt i have a ticket so let me just check ,,, the joker i went n saw the joker

DO YOU STILL READ FOR FUN? — occasionally bt i dont have motivation so

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — n/a BDKFJ

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 5 bt thats just bc im not feeling gr8 today

[banchoaniki]

Multiples of 4 then ☠

4: Talk show host: Imma be real w you I havent watched a talk show since attack of the show on g4 and that got cancelled years ago 8: Yankee candle scent: Fresh Balsam Fir. Smells like christmas and being cozy. Pine scents in general are god tier 12: Thing to cook: Anything that puts a smile on the face of those who eat it. Or Steak, Mashed Potatoes and Asparagus. Its easy, nutritious, and delicious. (That’d make a good dating profile header) 16: Book: Hard question. I’d have to go with Colorless Tsukuru and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami. 20: Holiday: Thanksgiving! I was born on it, so I have to like it. Other than that, toss up between Halloween and Christmas. 24: Movie: Uhhhhhhh, for live action, its a toss up between A Clockwork Orange and Apocalypse Now. For animated, Mind Game 28: Band: I dont follow a ton of bands, so Death Grips I guess. Its not like I dont listen to other music, but its mostly individual songs as opposed to deep diving into their discography 32: Athlete: I dont follow sports dude. Maybe like Usain Bolt cause he also has a pet tortoise like me.  36: Vehicle: Triump Bonneville T-100 40: Last person I got mad at: Uhh my former friend who’s girlfriend left him for being a piece of shit basically 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: I’m not missing anyone a whole ton rn. Wish we could meet tho jaz! 48: Ever been in love: Of course, its great and terrible 52: My room is: Fairly messy rn but I’ll clean up soon.  56: Favorite web site: Certainly not tumblr dot com. Idk dude probably like youtube cause I spend a lot of time watching videos or listening to podcasts.  60: I lose all respect for people who: Treat their partners like crap 64: My friends are: Great people! Things have been getting better for a lot of people in my circle of friends recently, and they really deserve it! 68: The worst sound in the world: Nails on chalkboard.  72: Today: Pretty ok day. Need to get a few things under control and still need to work out a bit, but studied hard and met up w a classmate to work on a project together! 76: Right now I am talking to: No one in particular, but ive been talking to friends throughout the day 80: The first person i talked to today was: Probably my dad when he woke me up 84: People call me: a lot of things im sure. Depends on who you ask.  88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Connection to where I live. My family’s owned my house for almost 100 years now, living elsewhere lacks that certain je ne sais quoi 92: Got a peircing: Never! maybe in the future tho... 96: Changed a diaper: also never! didn’t have any siblings or a close connected family growing up so I never had to. When I’m a dad, I’m sure I will though 100: Cried in front of someone: Oh jeez, not really sure. Maybe a few months ago, but I can’t recall what for 104: The future: Its filled with infinite possibilities, I just have to work for a future I want. I’m not too worried about stability, but you never know. Always try to have contingency plans for your contingency plans.  108: Designer Clothes: Generally overpriced trash. I’d rather buy from a local artisan that makes clothes specifically for me. Not like I don’t shop for clothes or like looking good, but theres a lot of issues in the fashion industry that I take umbrage with and like to look for alternatives.  112: Facebook: Boomerbook is convenient website that I use on occasion but I find to be fairly toxic, like most social media, so i rarely post on it. I just use the messenger app to talk with friends. 116: Reality TV: Utter trash! There are a billion other ways to spend your time that are more productive and beneficial to yourself and others that getting caught up in some fake drama with celebrities.  120: Gay Marriage: I don’t believe any kind of marriage should be regulated by the government, as its a religious sacrament. If churches want to allow it, that’s their prerogative that I won’t infringe on, but that’s in an ideal world. As it stands, I don’t have any strong feels for or against it, insofar that I think most marriages are fairly toxic.  124: Disney or Six Flags: Didney Worl 128: Manicure or Pedicure: I’ll take both, thanks 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Whomst’d’ve?  136: Hillary or Obama: Both are genuinely terrible people like most, if not all, government officials in Washington.  140: Mac or PC: I built my own PC but iPads do be kinda fresh tho I can see why people who don’t have the same hobbies or interests prefer macs, their visual design blows most PCs out of the water, and they’re functional for work and video editing. They’re obviously overpriced for the performance, but you’re buying it for the label and the well designed UI (generally, theres obviously some UI designs that are/were less than great by apple) 144: Oranges or Apples: While I like oranges, I FUCKING LOVE apples. So yeah, apples, particularly Fuji apples.  148: Summer or winter: Winter. I live in Los Angeles. Our winters are mild and maybe drizzley. Our summers are hellish. Easy choice. 152: Phone or Online: Uh I mean I like talking on the phone but texting or instant messaging is super convenient and, really, a very different form of communication that I engage in more.  156: Orbs: Do i believe in orbs? What kind of orbs? idk dude this is very nondescript and im too lazy to research this. Orbs as a geometric object do exist yes. Jury is still out on whatever the fuck this is asking tho 160: Soul mates: A distinct possibility that I’d love to be true 164: Heaven: I’m catholic, pretty sure I have to believe in it.  168: Luck: Yeah, I believe in it, but I also believe we make our own luck most times. 172: Are you taller than your mom? yeah shes like 5′2  176: Last YouTube video watched: Sure hope you like smooth japanese jazz fusion  https://youtu.be/6GEI3PpXEAo 180: Marriage is: A great responsibility I hope to be ready for one day. It can be incredible and life-affirming or it can be soul crushing if you rush into things or just have a bad partner. I don’t mean to be cynical, I genuinely believe its a beautiful thing, but so many marriages today end up horribly, so I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid of it at the same time.  184: Xbox or ps3: Whichever game console can give me a better user experience with better games and services. Right now that’s playstation, but I sincerely hope microsoft steps up to the plate next gen.  188: My bed is: A queen. Kinda messy rn.  192: I am allergic to: Nothing in particular 196: My eye color is: Green! I’m actually pretty proud of them, its the rarest eye color in the world, so its part of what makes me who I am.  200: My crush’s name is:  Jaz (no homo)  But also I’m not single so I don’t necessarily have any rn

PS: I sincerely apologize for this wall of text y’all 

[jaxcns]

y’all know this mans? yuh.. really gets ya thinkin that men might deserve rights after all huh? i mean they dont but it makes ya think! anyway.. i’m urayai ( uri for short ), eighteen, she/her, and from bumfuck nowhere usa over in the est timezone. we livin in a winter wonderland over here rn issa nightmare :) if ya feelin the vibe now then check out my statistics page yuh maybe i went the extra mile MXDDDN! anyway if ya poppin ya p*ssi to nct, love wastin time playin the sims, or are prayin for both taes scalps then smash that heart! we need validation in order to live in this economy laid ease!

basic details

( wong yukhei, cismale, he/him ) — meet jaxon wu, the nineteen year old sophomore at washington state university. i heard that the hedonist is a literature major who spends most of their time either practicing on the soccer field or interning at dorrance publishing two days a week. if you ask around, you’ll find out that the scorpio was born on october 28th, that the last song they listened to was uncomfortable by chase atlantic, and that they currently live in the kappa zeta nu fraternity house. ever since the death of carter hayes though, the only thing anyone can seem to recall when it comes to them is that they used to share a room with him at the frat house.

+ smoke-filled lungs, constellations in his eyes, denim jackets, disappearing acts that rival houdini, heart-shaped boxes, thumb rings, lazy grins, broken promises, and rainy mornings.

full sleeve on his right arm plus a chest piece in progress

ears and nose pierced but he doesnt always rock the nose

emotionally stable? no. financially stable? also no.

on an athletic scholarship for soccer but he loves hockey more so its #emohours

plays soccer, hockey, and baseball

loves the finer things in life but can barely afford the free breadsticks at olive garden ja feel

hes a snake who loves that 5 finger discount

selfish but also too invested in people he cares for

impatient as hell like.. chile

middle child ya he was dealt only the best cards in life

loves space and conspiracy theories #wow so original amirite

gets super obsessive over projects hes def a perfectionist

bisexual / bitter / bilingual

mom is a bank tell and dad is a professor at boston u

not very close to his older brother since hes off gettin his doctorates degree

very close to his little sister tho they’ve always been best friends

enjoys goin on hikes to clear his head

other than writing he also enjoys all other things creative like painting, drawing, sculpting, photography, etc

he attends a weekly art class in the city

he def dabbles in drugs so if ya lookin he can probs hook ya up

he was carters roommate 

ADAMANT — stubborn as shitttttt like fr. once he sets his mind on sumn and believes hes completely right cant be wrong then theres no changin his mind! at all! even if he realizes later that he was wrong he’d rather lower himself into the grave than admit it. he’ll also argue with you til the ends of the earth until the bitch literally dont have vocal chords anymore!

CONFIDENT — if i could’ve picked an alternate label for him then it woulda been the bellwether. he always carries himself with confidence which he gets from wearin nice clothes and accessories plus always bein well groomed ig? like his hair is always done, you’ll never find a speck of dirt on his shoes, that type of shit. even when his hair is messy it was done that way he would never go outside lookin like a wreck so jot that down!

IMPETUOUS — this bitch reckless af! he does things to benefit himself and only himself most of the time without taking into consideration other peoples feelings or how it might impact them. thats not to say that he doesnt regret it after the fact but lbr he normally? doesnt? see: selfish. hes just tryna get ahead tryna get dat coin tryna get him sum gucci slides!

PETULANT — sulky, bad-tempered, etc is jax thru and thru! and he aint afraid to take everyone down with him either. hes def the type to stir up drama ngl but he’ll back it up too and he aint afraid to throw hands! hes been in his fair share of fights and with his shiny new fake id y’all been knew hes been in more than one bar fight with more to come i’m sure!

plot ideas

MUSE — pretty self explanatory i think? this person just ignites fuckin inspiration for him whether it be thru takin pictures of them, writing about them, filmin them, drawin them, etc etc. jax always knows that when hes in a slump he can find them and that shit will come back as quick as flippin on a light switch!

RIDE OR DIE(S) — y’all already know wtf it is! we love those friends who just talk shit with each other, those that’ll go to bat for one another, but also arent afraid to be like “yo step back ur gettin a lil outta line” ja feel? literally gimme all that!

ANGST — i live for anything angsty tbh like im one of those bitches that gets bored when things are goin too well for my chara so i need someone to fuck that shit up fam!

RELATIONSHIPS — im here for it all! im talkin enemies, friends, rommates, party buddies, smokin buddies, fwb, exes, partners in crime, etc etc! im here and ready to snatch em all up!

TEAMMATES — jax plays hockey, soccer, and baseball so if ur chara does too then? uhhhh we def gotta plot cause we could go any way with the teammates thing like imagine teammates who hate each other and purposely try to hurt one another durin practices.. ugh we love pettiness!

ADVENTURE BUDDIES — hiking, goin to abandoned / haunted places, spontaneous road trips, etc! need someone or multiple people who’re down to just drop everything and go. doesnt even matter where tbh they’re just always up for a lil adventure.

SEESAW — lemme be basic for a sec ok just hol on! i rlly want a plot based off of yoongis song seesaw where maybe the two of them were together and at first it was great but then they just fell out for wtvr reason and obvs didnt wanna be together anymore. neither of them wanted to let go tho maybe it was like a comfort thing? so they just kept repeatin their same old shit and actin like everything was cool until one of them finally took the step and ended it just.. ik there’d be angst ik it and i need it!

PARADISE — the new song by chase atlantic! bitch! i felt it in my soul maybe i cried? jax dabbles in literally everything hes truly a mess so havin someone who just checks on him would rip my soul in half? someone who gives him a call randomly in the middle of a sunday night and is just like “hey ya been ok? not fallin back on bad habits are u?” shit like that. it would def be a thing where he falls a lil bit in love with them because its smth hes not used to tho that def doesnt mean at all that they feel that way about him! it can unrequited i dont rlly care tbh.

ik i forgot sum shit and ik this is a damn m e s s but if ya wanna plot then just lms and i’ll hit ya up! we can brainstorm or pick from one of our wcs idc just give this h*e sum plots i’ll literally die without em? im def the type whos down to prettymuch™ fill anything so if ya got a plot that ur rlly wantin but no one seems to be takin then give it to me i’ll 100% take it lmao! ya im desperate what about it?

[whaleyoufeedmenuggets]

Im too lazy to look at the questions so DO ALL OF THEM. (if you dont wanna then go on a random number generator and get 5 random numbers)

ITS REALLY LONG BUT I DID IT KJSHADJS HERE GOES i love oversharing my lifealso im putting a read more line bc its hella long

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

ehhh depends on my mood. i’d say it’s (dark) chocolate most of the time (love that 70% dark chocolate mmMmMm)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!! except when it gets all over my face and hair o no

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

common report book comments included

- very active

- bright

- “the live wire of the class”

- usually distracted but still does well

- mischievous

- playful

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

bottles so that i can close it and save the rest for later and not have to chug it yeet

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

sportswear #sweatpantsalldayeveryday

7. earbuds or headphones?

def headphones but they’re inconvenient sometimes :/

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows!! (also, my adhd ass can’t get through a movie without zoning out oops)

9. favorite smell in the summer?

i haven’t experienced /real/ summer (thank u singapore’s tropical climate) but i rly like the smell of rain :”)

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

making up excuses to skip pe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

belvitas before morning practice

croissant sandwich and chocolate milk after practice

if there’s no practice, then scrambled eggs from the dining hall lolol

if i’m too lazy to go to the dining hall, then cereal

12. name of your favorite playlist?

it’s literally called jams and the description is “a clusterfuck of stuff i’ve jammed to at some point”

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

gummy bears/sour patch kids

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

death of a salesman - arthur miller

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

with one foot up on the chair and the other leg sitting normally

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

a pair of asics sneakers

18. ideal weather?

15ºc/60ºf when its like cool but not too cold but also not ridiculously hot and also when theres no insane wind (a light breeze is fine)

19. sleeping position?

on my left side and hugging a pillow/bolster/soft toy

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

i like the feeling of pen and paper but im disorganized as hell so an apple pencil + ipad makes a good enough substitute

21. obsession from childhood?

frogs (i’ve loved them since i was 3 hehe)

22. role model?

a dude i used to train with for a while in 2014. he retired last year but he’s always looked out for me like an older brother since we trained together (he’s 8 years older than me lmao) and even thought i’m so far away rn he still checks in on me and stuff and idk he’s probably one of the swimmers i respect the most.

23. strange habits?

i cant fall asleep at night if im not hugging something.  like. it could be a pillow. or a soft toy. literally anything. once on a school trip i hugged a pair of sweatpants to sleep bc i legit cant fall asleep if im not hugging something.i have no problem falling asleep in class/on buses/cars/planes though.

24. favorite crystal?

idk i never really paid enough attention to crystals to actually have a favorite and know their names. they’re all rly pretty tho.

25. first song you remember hearing?

uhh h h i honestly can’t remember. probably some classical music bc i played the violin and that was my first experience of music that i was actually aware of????

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

switch on the aircon and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch. and swimming outdoors i guess.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

switch on the heater and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch.

do u see a pattern here

28. five songs to describe you?

jet lag - simple plan (bc time zones suck and i miss my fam & friends)

avalanche - bring me the horizon (pretty much sums up how tf my brain feels)

high hopes - p!atd

astronaut - simple plan

the reckless and the brave - all time low

29. best way to bond with you?

doing dumb shit with me

also Quality Time™️ like idk even if we’re chilling and doing our own shit i like just spending time with people im comfortable enough with

30. places that you find sacred?

idk

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

a hoodie and sweatpants

for no reason other than that’s what i wear 90% of the time

32. top five favorite vines?

I AM CONFUSION!!! AMERICA EXPLAIN

this bitch empty. yeet.

im in my mom’s car VROOM VROOM

the one of that dad playing the saxophone (???) and the kid slamming the oven door open and shut

road works ahead “haha yea sure hope it does!”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either lmao or lolol or LMFAO or yeet

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

gOD i had spotify ads stuck in my head all the time before i switched to premium and now i cant remember any of them (thank god)

35. average time you fall asleep?

i’d say 12:30-1ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

the tROLL FACE MEME LIKE those rage faces idk what they’re called but BASICALLY THOSE 2010-2012 era memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!!! i like sitting on them and yeeting myself around on them or getting people to push me around and then falling off

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

ngl i havent had either of them before

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

so in jc2 (aka 12th grade), for some reason PEOPLE WERE PUTTING PRE-PACKAGED HARD BOILED EGGS ALL OVER THE SCHOOL. like they were still in their wrappers and all but u could open ur schoolbag and find like 5 eggs in there. and no one knew where they came from. i think at one point there were even eggs hanging from the pull-up bars. all i know is that they were everywhere and people in my batch still remember it as the egg invasion of acjc.

41. last person you texted?

my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

def jacket!!! especially when they have zips hehe

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

idk man depends on my mood

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi bc im a fricken nerd

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

shirt and sweats

47. favorite type of cheese?

cheddarrr also i like mozzerrella sticks

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

a fineapple B)

lmao jk ummmm maybe a watermelon bc when u hit it it sounds hollow, just like how my skull would sound if someone hit it (h a)

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

here for a good time not for a long time

never give up without a fight

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

idk probably some dumb meme. i laugh at a lot of stuff like i laugh anything even mildly funny. some that i can think of off the top of my head are:

- i was tryna type ducky but typed fucky instead and sOmEOnE (could be the person who submitted this ask, idk tho) changed my facebook messenger nickname to fucky and the notification was like ”poopy butthole changed your nickname to fucky” and i think that’s still the funniest sentence i’ve read in my whole life

- one time we went to mcdonalds and a friend said mcfluffy instead of mcflurry and idk why but i laughed so hard at that

- once @doduo and i spent half a chinese lesson cutting out random faces from the chinese newspaper and sticking them randomly all over the classroom and idk. it was the funniest thing ever. until the teacher came over and confiscated my scissors rip.

51. current stresses?

- an essay draft (that i am procrastinating rn by doing this, oops)

- CANADIAN TRIALS (but thats a good kind of stress)

- submitting a proposal for a group project but none of my groupmates are freaking replying my texts ugh

52. favorite font?

avenir next!! i find san serif fonts way easier to read than serif lolol.i like helvetica neue too.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry af but also i just got my nails done so they pretty rn hehe

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i…havent had a real job yet

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk i was never rly one for fairy tales even as a kid.

56. favorite tradition?

chinese new year when we get CASH and we spend 3 days just eating junk yEET im rly sad im gonna be missing it the next few years tho

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

hh h h hh hhh hh hh they’re pretty personal i don’t /really/ wanna put it out here but i can text you the answer to this if you want (i’m perfectly fine with that!!)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

- i think i’m pretty intuitive!!! i can guess anyone’s mbti if i’ve spent enough time with them/gotten a detailed enough description of them /winks/ and i can read people pretty well in general and i can draw links to themes/symbols in lit pretty well….???

- i’m somewhat decent at lettering…i think

- i’m good at pull-ups and also vertical jumps i’m secretly a froge

- i’m decent at photography…i guess….

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

yeet

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

pokemon !!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

/sweats/ i’m not very good at remembering lines from books/movies/shows WELP

62. seven characters you relate to?

JAKE PERALTA - b99

rosa diaz - b99

linguine - ratatouille (he’s permanently confused and he let a ratto take over his job bc he had no idea what he was doing like damn what a big mood)

dory - finding nemo/finding dory (i relate to the forgetfulness)

percy jackson

kale bae /winks/

mitt (during bad phases) /winks again, but sadly/

63. five songs that would play in your club?

idek man i wouldnt even be at my own club i’d be at home taking a nap i’ll just ask someone else to handle my playlist

64. favorite website from your childhood?

club penguin !!!

65. any permanent scars?

yE one of them was from jumping onto a treadmill going at 13km/h 2 years ago bc i thought i was a good idea

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont have any

67. good luck charms?

i eat pancakes for breakfast on meet days!!!! altho i think this is more of a habit than a good luck charm tbh lmao.

also i guess pip???? he’s my emotional support narwhal :’)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

durian. i cant stand the stuff or anything flavored like it ugh.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

red food coloring is derived from beetles

70. left or right handed?

right

71. least favorite pattern?

overly-floral patterns i guessssss. also i hate wearing stripes.

72. worst subject?

chinese

besides that, math and physics

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

i rly like vanilla ice cream and fries

also i would eat ketchup with nearly anything

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

i usually just suck it up and go to sleep when it comes to pain but i guess an 8??? idk. i usually take advil/ibuprofen only for fevers

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i got my first loose tooth on january 11 2005 and it fell out on january 18 2005 & it was a tuesday (pls don’t ask me how i remember this bc i dont know)

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

tater tots

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

cactus i guess. idk im not good at plants.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

grocery store sushi (it was pretty decent in singapore so yeeeee lmao also i ate a lot of that as a kid)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

its the same photo for both so yeAh

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

idk i always called them fireflies

82. pc or console?

console I LOVE THE FEEL OF BUTTONS

83. writing or drawing?

drawing (more like doodlign for me bc i cant draw for shit)

84. podcasts or talk radio?

neither but if i rlllllly had to choose then podcasts i guessss s sss

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither LMAO i gave all my barbies haircuts when i was a kid bc i didnt know what to do with them

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology for sure!! i love greek mythology (may or may not be bc of percy jackson lolol)

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cookies

87. your greatest fear?

losing those i love and care about (could be drifting or actual death it goes both ways)

88. your greatest wish?

rn, for my essay to write itself

for the short-term, to make the olympics (and WUGs…and worlds…and sea games…and asian games…and commonwealth games lmao)

for the long-term, uhhh idk. i just wanna live a life i’m satisfied with and to have a job i actually like and to be able to support my parents

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my mom

90. luckiest mistake?

i always say that i regret doing a year of college in singapore instead of coming here for freshman year but if i’d come in a year earlier like i was supposed to, i proba wouldn’t have made it past swim team tryouts and i made some pretty great friends in my first year of college soooo it all worked out i guessi cant think of any others rn

91. boxes or bags?

bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights are rly pretty!!but i like natural light :”)

93. nicknames?

deb

debs

debo

debbo

alpha childuhh h h i think thats about it??? i cant remember any others

94. favorite season?

spring’s pretty great rni like fall too (before it gets cOLd)

95. favorite app on your phone?

insta/tumblr/telegram

96. desktop background?

a photo of me looking rly cool at the starting blocks before a race B)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4 - mine (singapore & US), my mom’s and my dad’s

98. favorite historical era?

uhh h h idk the ice age seemed pretty cool haha sike it was actually coldmedieval times seemed pretty cool too like damn i want a suit of armorWHEW I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS but i had fun so yeet

also if you read all the way down here ily and you’re cool

[pokefanbri]

https://www.facebook.com/104057744428568/posts/156998459134496/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

Fucking told him its a huge red flag if someone doesn't get rid of their apps. Multiple apps. Smh 😠 "oh yea i don't use them anymore" proceeds to use fb dating app" for real come on bro!

Some comments of the post:

"If you have to be checking up on your Partner then you shouldn't be with that person.. Idk how people have time for all this .. love yourself and know your worth.."

"If you're in a serious committed exclusive relationship you should not be on tinder. That's how I met my fiance and as soon as we said we are gf and bf and exclusive we both deleted it. Honestly if I was her I would have broken up with him too"

"a person also has a right to trust their gut feeling and check things out if something's not feeling right. Knowledge is power"

I've already discussed this but this news clip further validates my point of the topic, nothing more. I could call him out on hs bs further with detail, but I won't....yet, out of respect even though he probably doesn't deserve it. Til he reaches me & apologizes for everything he's done, i can say whatever tf I want & i could make a whole damn list.

Its the events of this what happened that started our downfall to begin with cuz i didn't trust him & he didn't even try to gain it back just left it as is when I could've turned my back right then & there, no apology either. Didnt apologize much actually, not even when i last saw him. But from then we spiraled & he got bored of me. I wasn't giving him what he wanted in whatever way & he wanted to find more. Closed himself off from the beginning & that created his boredom 😒

Would've had a blast together like a normal fucking couple if he was less closed off, & wouldn't have felt the need to do shit behind my back.

I'll stop talking about it for now, I have the anger & urge to keep going but I wont...actually no Screw it im pissed 😡 but ill keep it light. Its just not fair, I did so much for him but I was disrespected in different aspects of the whole relationship. Fuck! I've talked about the positives alot cuz i do love him..but the negatives are such bs too.

I want a good ass sincere apology for all of it so I can forgive him & move on, ive already apologized myself even though I dont think I should have to 😒. Didnt even give me a straight answer for the breakup, it was always a different excuse when I know he just wanted to pursue other women without me around im not fucking stupid. His own toxicity was too much even for himself & I was in the line of fire, to where i was the toxic one? No fuck that its unacceptable, he always lied when it came to covering his own ass.

For all i know he's watching me squirm & taking pleasure in all the pain I'm going through over him cuz he likes the attention. But no I actually don't think so on that one he's still good & ill give him credit where its due. But I gave him all the attention he wanted/needed & still wanted more from someone else. Really dude fucking really!?

Man up & own up to your mistakes, speak to me where I can actually hear ur voice speaking back to me with sincerity. We'll apologize together. Yea ull be pissed about this, but after u get over it & calm down. Give in & call me, granted when ur ready, & open up for once in your damn reserved life. Itll help us both with more closure & may even take a weight off our shoulders if we just talk it out, no arguing...since we're done there's no point anyway..a friendly non judgment zone cuz idc, i won't think of u any less.

U confused me during & especially after the relationship cuz i didnt know who u really were, i know the good cuz that's what u allowed me to see, ive accepted the bad that I knew already & from what ive learned...i accepted u regardless.

I always forgave u & not cuz im passive, cuz forgiveness is what the Bible teaches.. ive forgiven u & myself the best i could especially with the last things ive showed u, (accept this part cuz im pissed rn & standing up for myself, ill delete eventually maybe if u ask cuz nobody wants to be seen any less of a person. but I can make it alot worse, calling me the mistake was the worst thing u ever said to me & pointing out your faults so u can be better throughout the relationship was my only toxicity to u) we actually never really fought except the 1 time, just argued a tiny bit rarely about little things.

Ive tried using every ounce of my courage to show u how much im sorry for any wrong ive done. but its up to u now to make things right. U know me, ive always said that u can talk to me about anything. I want to be able to trust again & move on whilst staying friends. What else do u have to lose, might even have a great heart to heart convo dude to dudet

Everything ive ever said up to this point lies all my Questions. But here's most of the list, we both were equally in control of the relationship. Maybe u didn't want me to? But doing everything I had to for myself & the household, what u & ur parents wanted of me & just me being me cuz i had to, u had your own part to play & did provide...but did u actually not want me to cater to u if it were a sign u were lazy or something? Like did u not feel worthy of me? What is it u think is my "addicting personality" that isn't fixable on the surface? What is it really that u didnt like about me? This is why i don't have closure, u left me like this, confused as well as wanting more since u held back so much. Was that on purpose to give me even more false hope & want me to pine over u? Did u ever or do u still, love me at all? What did u want from me & out of the relationship, what was the purpose of it from ur perspective & why do u think i couldn't give that to u? What did i lack that u felt compelled to not tell me so I could improve & vise versa so we both could improve? Why wouldn't u allow me to help u become a better man when (I shouldnt have to btw), its exactly what u wanted but maybe didnt see it? Do u realize your own faults even as u do them? Lol. Like i genuinely want to know as much as the good ive seen, cuz to be better the more open of a person u are the more u understand yourself too.

Unless claiming u want to be a better man is part of ur alluring charm in love bombing process to land a caring girl on purpose lol...god I hope not, that would just mean u rinse & repeat like a for real narcissist 🤔 seriously tho look into that im not even kidding, im asking cuz i care. Im pissed now but 1 thing is that im trying to not put ur behavior against u cuz maybe u can't help it, its just the way u are, all ive seen & experienced points to maybe 50% of u lol. Ive always suspected narcissism, a real psych problem that might be worth looking into. But yea 1 of the reasons especially why im so forgiving & trying not to put it against u, why i still care despite u being a dick lol. I chose to look past it, all the time & up to now cuz I understand what its like to have psychological ailments. The worst part about it is most dont realize it, so i encourage u to do some research & self reflection & admitting it to urself are the 1st steps. Okay? There's different kinds & levels to being 1 too, i found that fascinating. bryan is definitely a different type, ur more lighter than that...definitely not the worst which is the physical harm type. Trust me its worth finding out more about yourself, just dont use it to ur advantage in a bad way but i trust u to do right & grow. Not sure a discarded supply (ie me) has ever tried telling a narcy what they might be for the benefit of their own self awareness 🤔,idk if its ever been done, but theres a 1st for everything? U can find alot on it in quora digest alone but Google is also ur friend.

You always were worth every effort of mine to help u in any way to be happy, & i was most happy when u were. U mean alot to me still, its the effect u had on me, I was under ur spell lol its hard to rid myself of it still, not sure when it'll pass. I chose to see it as a gift rather than a curse, that ur effect on me is still so strong when I shouldn't give a damn. If u really are a narcy, then I understand & don't put alot against u cuz its just the way u are & i need to accept it, but if it somehow helps u to help yourself cuz of it, then whats the harm? But, even in doing this or having my socials public for u...maybe just feeds into what u want...i still dont care, I want u to see how bad or good im doing without u in my life, so u know im okay at least. U promised friendship, least I can do is allow u to keep tabs on me too we spoke of, on my end of things.

The 18th of June was the last time i saw u. It'll soon be a month ago in about a week & a 1/2 & your birthday would mark 2 months. Cant believe we couldn't even last through to that 😔

Mark my words playa I will be contacting u on that day lol. Can't ghost your homie forever sweetie

[barblebapkins]

99 to 1 boi les'go

okay FINE ILL DO IT BACKWARDS99: Do you miss anyone right now? miss anyone in particular?? no, but i do wish i was with someone rn98: Whats your favorite color? green97: Do you want kids? idk? maybe?96: Do you have kids? no95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? no?? like who over the age of 6 does that94: Who was your HS crush? haha that stays in the vault!93: If married, how long have you been married? not married! yet!92: Do you want to get married? yes hehehahehehea91: Best room for a fireplace? the living room of course90: Can you knit or crochet? nope!89: Which are better black or green olives? i dont like olives in general88: Ever have plastic surgery? nope and doubt i ever will87: Ever won a contest? nothing worth remembering86: DJ or band, at a wedding? probably DJ85: Are you patient? depends, with people i think i have a lot of patience, but with other things i can lose my temper kinda quickly84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? nope, i panic83: Can you swim well? not well at all82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? sugar81: Tea or coffee? tea80: Hot tea or cold tea? i prefer cold tea, though i havent tried much hot tea. i feel like i’d prefer hot honestly79: What was the last concert you saw? none! that aint my style78: Who would you like to see in concert? see above77: Ever been in love? yes! i am right now!76: Regularly burn incense? nope75: Own a record player? im not THAT old74: Own any record albums? NOT THAT OLD!!73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yes heaehe72: Ever won a spelling bee? no, i probably could have though71: Can you curl your tongue? yea70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? dhedhehde shes currently in graphic design but she can do whatever she wants!69: Ever take dance lessons? nope! i cant dance to save my life and im fine with that!68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? no?? i feel like someone else put this here67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? not a fan of either but probably sunflower seeds if i had to pick, cos i HATE peanuts66: Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos without a doubt65: Nike or Adidas? nike64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? target. walmart is always a disaster every time i’m there, and kmart, while a nostalgic liminal space, is an awful shopping experience too63: First concert? already answered this twice haha62: What do you wear to bed? t-shirt and shorts, or just shorts, depending on how cold/hot it is61: Wear a bath robe? nope, i just wear my towel until im ready to get dressed60: Wear slippers? i own a pair but i dont really use em59: Take a vitamin daily? no but i wish i did58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? all the time, like something specific will happen irl and ill feel like i envisioned this exact moment YEARS ago57: Do you believe in ghosts? yeah, i’ve had more than one weird experience that i cant explain any other way56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? i kinda wanted to be a chef until i realized i cant cook for SHIT55: Favorite type of fruit pie? probably cherry54: Ever eat a pierogi? yes and it WASNT GOOD53: Is Christmas stressful? now that i actually buy stuff for everyone yes it is52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? not really, i still have a bit of a soft spot for les mis51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? in school probably50: Ever used a gun? yes, and i didn’t like it.49: Do you dance in the car? i am the most introverted person in the world, you’re lucky if you can even get me INTO a car48: Do you sing in the shower? no but i hum sometimes47: Do you sing in the car? nope46: Are you afraid of heights? deathly yes. if i even look UP at like a skyscraper i get nauseous45: Ever watch soap operas? not willingly44: Who is better…Leno or Letterman? i dont really watch late night stuff but ive heard letterman is a bit of a dick43: Are you stubborn? i can be with some things42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? what the FUCK is a lincoln log41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? my brother keeps renewing my gamestop subscription so i keep getting gameinformer magazines and i want it to STOP40: Are you horny? no39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? dog bork bork38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? i honestly dont remember?? like i think back on it but cant visualize any of it37: Are you lazy? haha YES36: What is your usual bedtime? whenever i WANT it to be leave me alone35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? sadness34: Favorite kind of sandwich? i rly like cold italian subs33: Ever ran out of gas? i dont rly drive so no32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? see ^31: Can you change the oil on a car? no lmao30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? youre livin in the past grandpa, these days we project our brainwaves directly into other peoples heads from across the globe!29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? AAHH what the fuck no28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? for a little while but circumstances made me have to leave27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? haha hasnt happened!26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? my favorite movie ever is probably Up25: What is your favorite food? grilled shrimp pls GIVE24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? bbq sauce mm23: If you’re a girl, bra size? If you’re a guy, pants size? 30 x 2922: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? haha nice TRY pirates21: Whats your least favorite movie? cant think of any off the top of my head but im sure ill think of one later20: Do you still watch cartoons? i admittedly still keep up to date on steven universe and cant wait for the next episodes19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? of course!18: What is your Song of the week? sweats17: What size is your bed? i dont know and im too lazy to check, but its TOO SMALL16: How many people have you slept with this week? none, and i wouldnt ever just sleep with someone but thanks for asking i guess!!15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? yes if im nervous14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? i dont dance13: What about pooped in the woods? ew WHAT12: Have you ever peed in the woods? only cos we were camping and it was like 2 am11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? sometimes actually yeah, not for any good reason though10: What is your biggest pet peeve? nothing gets on my nerves more than dishonesty and/or uncalled for disrespect9: Do you always smile for pictures? no cos i have a BAD smile8: Do you have freckles? no but i have a lot of birthmarks7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? you cant outrun a swarm of bees6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? no wtf how old do these people think we are5: Do you like to use post-it notes? this is the FUTURE, DUDE!!4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? what the fuck who does that3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? out, but not usually on purpose cos my sheets are very loose2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? no1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? i dont have closets only dressers, soo

[perfectionistincrisis]

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About my brother leaving. Now there are two sides to it. One is how he is so young & he will move so far away & has to take care of everything. He has to study first of all, which is the main thing. And this in itself is a whole new experience. Starting university & facing all the pressure & tight schedule & deadlines that come with it. And to top that all, he will move to a new country. An entirely new place he has never been to & one which is very very very different from the country where he was born & raised & literally spent entire 18 years of his life in. Now whether this is the lifestyle & culture & religion we are talking about, or just the weather. You name it, & it's something different he has to face. Let's go back to studies. The ‘studies’ part, is totally acceptable! I mean it's his responsibility. No one will or is expected to do it or help him with it. This is totally on him. He has to figure it out himself. If he needs help, he needs to look for it. If he has a problem he needs to find a way out, or deal with it. The idea of having an elder sibling or family to help you with your studies, i believe, is totally absurd when someone is moving to university. At school, it might be ok but when someone is starting uni, cmon, I think it's time to stop already. Let them grow up on their own. You can't be wiping their ass for them their entire life. Not to mention, everyone has their own share of responsibilities, their own affairs to handle. Everyone of us are struggling everyday, to build our futures. And NO. This is not selfish. This is our responsibility towards ourselves. We owe this to ourselves, and no, you are not in any way, supposed to expect anyone to actually help you deal with your responsibilities in life. So with you share of duties, is it really selfish to focus on your affairs & prioritize them? & also what good will you be really doing by helping someone? How much of someone else's responsibilities can you own? There will come a point where you’ll have to leave them on their own except that now you've already spoiled them and they'll be more lost than ever. So yeah, plus i'm not even studying engineering so anyways i couldn't do much or anything at all but even if i could have, i really never liked the whole concept of doing it in ‘uni’. I have such a strong opinion about it seeing my cousins and other people. Meaning, it's not just me randomly thinking about it and commenting but i rather did always have such an opinion about this matter. So yeah that's the only ‘okay’ thing! From now, things are changing. Now, let's talk about the end of everyday! When he comes ‘home’/ dorm room. He doesn't come home to anyone. Whether it is your siblings being lame and stupid, or your parents being in a fight, or some really good day where everyone's happy and laughing - you're not getting any of it. Is anyone bringing you food? Cooking for you exactly what you eat? No. When are you going to bed? No one cares other than you. Who’s making sure you wake up and don't miss class in the morning? Who’s making you breakfast? Filling your water flask? You buy your food if you have time before class. Such a good day, just 3 classes and you're home by 11. Who do you go home to? Yourself. Weekends? .. Nvm But we are only trying to provide the best future for him. And i can NOT disagree to this at all. Not even for a second. Since almost a year, my dad & my mom has thought of everything & every tiny thing that we will need for him. Whether it is the fact that winter clothes are sold in shops during winter and winter in ksa was 6 months ago, so keeping that in mind and shopping for him things which is just too hard to get in the shops right now cause it's totally summer rn over here! Or whether it is something more serious like meeting all the different formalities to apply for a visa. And shopping for him all these months. Making lists of everything he might need. Things like plate, glass, things like rugs, things like brush, toothpaste, things like pillows, bed sheet, things like laundry basket, warm gloves, things like rain coat. Like you name it, and it somehow is something he actually needs. Also, we are so concerned about providing him the best. I think all my life, a part of shopping included looking at the price tag and seeing if its a good bargain. But now, suddenly thats not done anymore. Anything he touches (which is very little btw) & anything we choose for him (which is like every single thing we see), its just getting the best for him. Its like theres this thing in our heads. Like this is it. My brother hardly gets anything for himself. He is kind of different. So we are just getting him all these stuff because once he goes there, he might not get it for himself. And even if he does, us getting something for him now will be the last time we are doing so. Cause from now on he'll do his stuff himself. So like i was saying. We are only trying to provide the best future for him. And i can NOT disagree to this at all. Not even for a second. And this is a stage that comes in everyone's life & we can not and should not run from it. This is the right thing to do in my brother’s case. Everything till now has gone so smoothly Alhamdulillah. But it still doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Especially when i think of my mom. I get the whole idea of how it's the hardest on the moms. In fact i have even witnessed many moms crying & breaking when their kids had to leave and all. But. This is different. I am talking about ‘my mom’. I respect all mother’s love, i do. But about my mom; unless you live under the same roof as her, you will find it impossible to believe how much of her heart & soul & energy she invests on our family. For which, I will be forever grateful & will consider myself blessed. I will never be able to start and finish talking about her but let me mention some interesting stuff! Let's start with me! So im 21. And i don't do my laundry (none of it at all), i don't vacuum (the house or even just my room), I don't iron my clothes (never did), I don't clean the dishes (not even my own plate or glass or water flask), I don't clean my room (the furnitures & stuff) & interestingly, i don't even know how to make tea or coffee (unless it's those sachets you get, but i just use them at uni). TADA - Mom does all of that for me. I don't remember the last time i did ‘any’ of the things i mentioned. I can't say i never did any of them though, but it was only for one of the 2 reasons: 1. I was younger and mom got angry with me maybe & she’d punish me by making me do it OR 2. I voluntarily offered maybe cause it was vacation and i wasn't lazy & stuff (btw this vacation, i'm totally lazy, i never offered or did anything) So like i said, i don't remember the last time i did any of it. Infact, to TOP ALL THAT, mom makes sure of all my ‘excess’ needs too. She pays so much importance to them. Like, my diet. Diet - meaning the food i eat. Now regardless of whether im trying to lose weight or not, i totally dont like asian food, more specifically, all the daily food cooked in a bengali household. I dont like ‘curries’. I prefer ‘dry’ food. It doesnt matter what it is. Chicken, beef or veggie. If its a ‘curry’, im not putting it in my mouth. Curry meaning the whole making it liquidy with all masala & stuff. And i ‘especially’ hate chicken curry. I also dont honestly remember the last time i ate it. And i am NOT exaggerating but i stopped eating it like way back in grade 11 or 12. By chicken curry, i mean the MOST REGULAR meal in almost every bengali household, more like an EVERYDAY meal especially for the kids. And it works for my bros too lol. But no way on hell im eating it. The reason is, this is one food ive been eating since i learned to ear and then after around a pretty 13 to 14 years of eating chicken curry i had to say NO one fine day xD xD Ok now i have 2 phases: one is the normal daily phase where unis going on and i'm stressed and all i eat is junk food, or maybe something not junk but has to be all delicious or maybe sometimes i'll consider eating healthy and want some classy salad and stuff. Mom always has to prepare a different meal or me. Then she has to prepare something else for her and dad too cause chicken is kids stuff and also mom does not eat chicken at all if she is the one who cooked it so yeah. And then there's chicken for my bros xD On top of that, when im in the other phase where im trying to lose weight - Oh god. The whole menu of food changes. All green veggies and salads and stuff. All grilled chicken, grilled fish, grilled beef. She does all of that. Also. she THEN ‘decorates’ my food cause she knows i love taking pictures of my food. She decorates my food. She makes sure I like the plate on which she is serving the food; whether the plate will look good in the picture. She makes sure I get to take a perfect picture. If she gets confused about how to decorate something, she'll tell me to do it and ask me what i need. I mean man, who does that to a 21 year old???? I know i am spoiled! Now ^ i got carried away! All that is a small gesture of what my mom does for ‘me’. And i'm like her eldest kid. Like she actually thinks i can take care of myself ‘more than my brothers can’ Yeah do you see where i'm going with this? You can not imagine HOW much more she does for my bros, like ‘woahhhh’👌 I’ll just give one example for each bro. My elder bro - he never actually had to open his closet and decide on which dress to wear till now in his life!!!!! Yesss!!!!! Mom even takes out his clothes. Clothes. Every garment :):):) and keeps it ready for him to wear every time he showers, or changes, or goes outside :) and that's the one who’s already 18 and moving soon! And my younger bro - well he is kinda different. Like he is all concerned about his looks and he demands on choosing his own clothes from his closet and wearing them xD xD but then mom still feeds him lunch and dinner most of the day and he is almost 14 :):):) So yes. Idk how my mom is going to handle it. But what i know is that she is such a brave and strong and intelligent and amazing woman mashAllah. She is so hard-working & she puts aside all her sickness and pain & prioritises our needs, and our wants, even if theyre really stupid. And she means the world to me. And she is my number 1 person. And I can give up anything for her. Words cannot express how much she means to me. I once had to stay a night away from her during the 1st week of my uni in 1st year of med school. That was the night I actually realized how important she was to me. I was away from her and due to some circumstance I couldn't communicate with her. That whole night, i lied in bed crying & asking Allah to let me meet my mom in my dreams as I fall asleep now… Idk if I ever told that to anyone before, but yeah here it is. Ahhhh. God!!!!! Such a huge post wth man )@+%;’!(%)#!%(£))@!%!%) but Ughhhh I just needed to get it all out of my system! Hmphhh