#im tired of pretending theyre not/j

[ya-boi-haru]

Enderien (Fable smp) and Diana/Ezaur (Seduce Me: The Otome series) are the same people in a different font, and no, I will not elaborate or take criticism

[midnighteloquence]

e up

whatever whatever insert code names yahoo!!

yeah so im starting to find C unbearable to be around. yikes. um so im just gonna talk about this week (and mostly today)

so um off the bat theyre the one that wants me to approach them and talk to them, but literally they arent even putting any effort in making it seem like they want to talk to me. but its so degrading because i will be talking about my interests and something im passionate about and all i get is some “thats so cool” or a “thats so skibidi” in the most dry tone ever. like i know you know im autistic but do you seriously think i dont detect that tone? like i finally work up the energy to want to share an interest of mine with you and you not caring just makes it seem worthless and makes me feel like shit. and as soon as i emit the same energy you get all defensive and all “oh okay” like?? what???

literally i dont know if what youre doing is you trying to “feed me a taste of my own medicine” but like when have i ever done shit like this? when have you had to say multiple times in one minute “hey can i talk about what you guys are talking about too?” “can i join in?” “can i see too?” to me and my friend? fucking never. its fucking humiliating to have to ask you to be able to join in. its so degrading. and as soon as im distant about it youre all annoyed?? like stop

i dont think they can see below the surface of people. yesterday B said they were tired and as soon as they showed a sign of energy C said something like “yeah youre real tired /s”. like??? what??? like do you think that just because someone is projecting energy outwards that that means theyre super energised? you dont see anyone apart from one trait and its fucking annoying.

another separate thing that happened like ages ago but i put on my status a copy paste of like “send me what you think of me honestly” and they typed a whole paragraph which was nice. i thanked them (obviously) and they asked if they could continue. but in their second paragraph it felt like they were critiquing me more than complimenting me. like they said shit like “with the people you LIKE..” as in saying i dont like you, you told me that “makeup wont cover your tiredness, sorry”, you said “youre clearly sad but dont want to open up to people about it” as if thats gonna make me open up to you.

anyways um today they made me super uncomfortable. i was in the music room trying to do cool stuff (failing /j) and they decide to play male whimpering audios into my ears on full volume when i told them multiple times to fucking stop. like first off, EW, second off, its on full volume, third off im trying to do something? and then when i continuously tell them to yk fucking stop they say “oh you can pretend its [mario]!!” which. no fucking comment. nothing can describe how fucking uncomfortable that was to hear. literally not even joking i hated that. like. dont sexualise him. or me. fuck you. dont sexualise my crush. just because i have a crush on him doesnt mean i want to fuck him. thats fucking weird. him and i are both minors. i dont want that. stop. my stomach is aching right now because of that. thats how uncomfortable i was and still am. ew. i hate you. i hate you so much. sorry im just super uncomfortable. on the topic they say alot of shit about me wanting to make out or fuck my crush. STOP. THATS ALL I HAVE TO SAY TO THAT. literally. theres more to crushes than sex. ive said this COUNTLESS TIMES I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU SAY I WANT TO SMASH HIM ONE MORE TIME ILL THROW UP. genuinely. i told C that i only liked him platonically so they would fucking stop saying shit like that. stop. its not even funny. it just makes me incredibly nauseous and makes me hate you more.

anyways uh thats all have a good night wheyesy

[caruliaa]

ooohh so being “loved” by my parents for acting as a person im not still feels as shitty as being not loved nd treated badly by them for the person i am got it

[brokenpuns]

@strawbamander im so sorry for the absolute shitty quality of this when i said i wasnt feeling it today i meant I Was Not Feeling It Today

[chisatowo]

Man I've been in such a bad mood lately I don't wanna feel this bitter and spiteful abt everything but idk how to try and feel better since the root cause is smth I can't avoid hhhhhh

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 1, 2019 // the walkthrough

this was almost a double whammy but i just watched the first 2 minutes of the next ep to keep on this day 🙏🏻(you might be tired of my posts but at least its not this fucking destiel shit everywhere, lbr)

-patrice just showing up here is literally the biggest wtf moment yet

-also LOVE LOVE LOVE nancys hair twist up here (god i want this hair back instead of the middle part down)

-love their lil waves to patrice/"i cant take my eyes off her" 😂

-okay laura went straight for ace's face lmaoooo i love her lil braids tho

-was it just me or did bess's face look so heartbroken like she would love to move to paris with laura

-"you lost me once" umm wtf bitch WHY would she say that?? like how presumptuous (and put him on the spot too like if he says no now hes the asshole 🙄)

-love nick's friendship with josh here

-okayyyyy so is lucy haunting patrice, nancy, or both of them in front of this billboard?

-"i need to tell him i forgive him for being incompetent" 🙏🏻 zen

-lmaooo someone else mentioned that look of nancys when ace takes over the segue and im honestly here for it, shes like "get fucked, karen"

-despite the bus throwing from the first eps, nancy would prefer dealing with mcginnis to karen

-this trio at the police station + library nace moments reminds me of "ace has a thing for unattainable women" -hes unable to reach bess (sexually) laura (physically) and nancy (emotionally)

-nancys awko looks between ace + dominique like 👀👀

-"the move has been very hard on joshua- he's been different" -like something in the warehouse changed gomber- something happens to you after tragedy and leads you down a path of violence

-im thinking about s2 (all agleaca moments aside) it really feels like bess chose the marvins over lisbeth (and then the marvins bailed)

-"i've never felt like this before. i think i love you." ^sent dated january 7th, which is my birthday 💙

-"screw being zen" love lauras anger here AND georges cute little smirk at her in agreement

-"we need her" also love nancy agreeing with lauras shit opinion of the hbpd

-karen ---> ryan : relationships to lucy, carson, nancy

-i adore bess's thrill for the dramatic here and georges lil nod humoring her pretending to wipe tables 😂

-"i wanted to see you" think of how easily ryan admits he wanted to see george even though theyve been broken up for weeks- and george is still ashamed but ryan is just honest. hes almost always honest about how he feels and hes a shit liar which is kinda ironic for being a hudson as the other 3 are all usually the exact opposite

-again curious about the tiffany/marvins thing. wonder if owen ("pine hill") wouldnt have been happy to see her there because she was trying to take them both down? and why wouldnt he show then? he suspected it was a trap? or is this all just a red herring? 🤔

-so was lucy haunting ryan bc of abandonment? or bc she was trying to warn him about josh? was she actually haunting ryan and tiffany got in the crossfire or was she actively haunting tiffany as well? hannah's video seems to support that theory. and her appearance behind nancy at the claw was like lucy defending nancys accusations? or not? she doesnt appear behind nancy until the emails are brought up because then theyre on the same track in thinking ryan sent it- lucy knows ryan didnt "do it" and knows why she was haunting tiffany but doesnt know thet ryan didnt write the email

-laura: "i get it now" about amaya and bess because theyre lesbians lmfaooo which laura knows

-when ace asks nancy if shes okay she just shrugs instead of just saying "im fine" almost like she cant lie to ace so she just avoids answering

-so why did josh show up at j dodds right here and now? a bit odd of timing. and whos watching patrice while this happens?

-okay but watching josh get electrocuted must have been pretty horrifying

-interestingly in this ep specifically, ryan and ace act as foils- constantly running vs "i dont want to run away" like how ryan runs on lucy, leaves the claw, leaves nancy stranded from the clinic, etc

-"i believe in being true to yourself, even at the risk of being misunderstood."

~~~~~ and the first 2 minutes of ep 15:

-they all look at this cabinet from the video and nancy just runs straight to it lmaooooo running towards potential death with open arms

and lastly:

-think of how frustrating this is for karen who knows nancy is innocent/that josh did it but nancy keeps screwing around 😂

[sodasyrup]

I love,,,,, domestic lava au... You should do more of it. I'd love to know more about reka and monty too!

BWAAA...

Okay as I said it’s an au with kittie (6kuro) so I’m gonna grab the things it said and I said lmao

warning its a LONG disjointed post bc im too tired to make. a good post fdhghdf

lovelypeaches08/28/2019cole and kai would settle down real late like....in their late thirties because they want to keep their children as safe as possible, being elemental masters and having enemies and all

at first wu wants them to fight longer and shit but hes OLD so who cares and theres probably conflict on thatbut kai and cole are old enough to realized they dont have to be controlled

so they get married, symbolically if anything, because they've been dating for probably a little over a decade now and known each other even longer, AND been living together for the same amount of time

theyre the first of the ninja to settle down, and they buy a small house in a village thats maybe an hour away from ninjago city

the tininess of the house is made up for by the largeness of the yard, where cole likes to garden, especially fruits and vegetables

cole works as a stay at home free lance artist, doing stuff like commissions, book covers, comics, etc for moneykai does something that puts his charisma to use, probably something in business that lets him advertise and talk a lot..he could never settle down for a stay at home job or anything, even with all his thrilling ninja stories

they have enough money from donations and awards to thrive off these jobs, and ninjago probably pays them kind of like retirement

cole cooks for kai so he always has a meal ready when hes home, so then kai cooks on the weekend

anyways, they have two kids, about 3 years aparti haven't figured them much out yet, but kai and cole cook and bake with themcoles parenting style is very protective and rather spoils them, while kai lets them do whatever as long as its not immediately dangerousthey balance each other out well, so their kids grow up loved and well rounded

lovelypeaches08/28/2019coles always buying them sweets and treats and Kai pretends to be annoyed but thinks its really cute

the kids go to a small school on the outskirts of ninjago city, and get asked about their parents a LOT. they kind of like the attention but it gets irritating

moving on to the other ninja who also start to settle down,jay doesnt really want kids, so he passes on his powers with ~science~ or something, but only when hes a lot olderhe does engineering at borg industries or something, and he messes around a lot but gets away with it bc hes the blue ninjahes like kai and coles kids Fun Uncle, since he lives in a big apartment in downtown ninjago city, with a bunch of cool techkai and coles family often take elongated road trips therejay thinks hes a cool relative but besides being super lenient hea actually kind of embarrassing lol

nya settles down a bit later than the rest of them, because she wants to live her ninja days to the fullesti could go on about my domestic samurai au but her and pixal have a kid who gets nyas water powersnya is much more eager to train her kid than cole and Kai are (they want to start properly training thwir children when theyre like 16, much to wus disappointment)nya doesn't force anyrhing on her kid but she doesnt protect her kid from the fact they'll have to train sooner or latershes determined on still changing the world, so she's a strong political leader, with innovative ideas who doesnt approve of ninjagos government and wants to change it for the betterShe also lives in downtown, but isn't as fun as jayher kid is younger than kai and coles, but kai and coles kids look up to them because they're very independent and skilled! their mom is also super cool, but not in a silly way. she rocks leather jackets and drives her kid around on a motorcycle

lovelypeaches08/28/2019zane is tricky for me...i like to imagine him sticking with lloyd to being a ninja or whatever, since hes going to be alive a lonnggg timehe also wants to respect wus wishes, so he teaches students and fights alongside lloydhe does so much less however, and finds a lot of time to visit his friends

kai and coles kids are shy around him at first, him being a nindroid whose still a ninja, but hes so much nicer and softer than expectedhe always brings them presenrs and enjoys quality time with them, so he's basically their favorite uncle

now lloyd continues his master training, to become the next master after wu dies. hed be the one to guide the next generation of elemental masters as well as their parents in training thembut don't worry, he gets a break too, since the other ninja help him out. hes much less burdened then wu was in the later years of his lifeok thats all i think

My commentary now

little boy whos like 3 and super wide eyed and excited and loves pink (when he foudn out zane at one point had a pink gi he asked if he could get one too)older girl around 6 whos a big daddys girl and loves to garden with cole and make mud piez

the little girl is the fire em - she had temper issues linked to autismz which they worked through her with early and never thought of it but she has a big passion for gardening they mistook for elemental connection when rly she just LUVS IT

little boy is em of earth - hes a natural born leader and stubborn, wide eyed and excitable. again bc they worked w both their kids about their tempers and such they never realized he was just naturally good at keeping his composure. also a lot like jay keeping morals upnaturally strong but both their kids are and i hc the super strength doesnt come in until peubertyz

shes a bit of a late bloomer with em powers but one day their little boy accidentally makes a pot hole inside the kitchen bc he was excited over zane cookingthey took too good of care of their kids and his true potential was simple bc he was a litol kid which was im going to live my best fcuking life with friends and family *rips a hole in the ground

kai and cole are the gross sappy parents that trade kisses n their kids are like thats DISGUSTING youre DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE

Kittie pointslovelypeaches08/28/2019YEAYEYAYAYYEYAYAYEoh god the little boy is part scenecorelikenot full on scene but like punk y2kwhich is a part of scenealso at first cole and kai are super concerned being a ninja will be as mentally damaging and ack as it was for them at times, but lloyd and zane are genuinely good mastersbutnot to get sadbutwhen tragedy does happen somehow, since neither Lloyd nor zane can ease that, cole and kai are so good at helping their kids e thatthey help them recover from it without downplaying their kids concerns and feelings amd give good advice and loveand make being elemental masters a lot easier for their kids than it ever was for them

me again.....

they always get so fucking scared thokai custom makes weapons for themarmor too he spends hours upon hours making sure its perfect and even prays over them to keep their kids safe

anyway when kai n cole visit w them (idk if theyr just adopted at their current age or like.... adopted as babies or surrogate or?? idk but) they visit lloyd and kai softly says "Look! its uncle lloyd" and lloyd starts SOBBING hes just fucking bawlinghis eyes out and when kai offers to for lloyd to hold him lloyds just like are you suure arre eyyuuu thherye so smsmm all kaiii are yoruur suureee thheyrey babbeises

nya is hesitant but ends up being a really good aunt, i meanshe took care of kai /j

zane is a fav uncle and hes always making sweets for them jay is. also sorta a fav bc where zane comes jay follows and jay has a sweet tooth and also makes Cool Toys + hey wanna prank your dadsalso im dramatic and likekai and cole sitting down and having a convo about master wubc he was sorta a shitty mentor and they really REALLY dont want their kids going through any self confident issues nor over stressing bc theyr KDISeventually kai and cole talk to master wu and actually has wu face his terrible practice towards kids and wu accepting he was.............................a bad 'parent' in a senseblebleblelelelelelellekai works but cole absolutely watches over any training when wu is there at first but lloyd is the master now and lloyd is like..........................i dont want kids to go through what i went through kai is like i trust you but also i will murder every single one of you in this dojo if you ever hurt my little girlim doing what i do and taking an au and running im sorry ghdghdfhJACK RAMBLES....their son refuses to wear shoes he lieks dirt on his feet they never really think much of it but its actually really comforting for him to feel the earth under his feet and feel stablethey think its just a stim thing maybe? theyr unsurebut! turns out him Element(also a fear of heights)lloyd tries to be a serious master but hes a big ol goof and can easily be manipulated

ironically.......its the lil boy who often is like HEY!!!!!!!!!!! WE GOTTA TRAIN!

kai and cole agree not to tell anyone what theyre thinking of naming their little boy until he arrives so when the day comes kais holding this tiny little boy and holds him out gentlyand lloyd is already EMOTIONAL because this is a BABY and lloyd softly asks his name n cole cuts in like "hes named after a really brave dude, montgomery. but we're thinking monty as a nickname"lloyd, choking up:(hc garmadons first name is montgomery)

the girl is Reka which means sweet in maori (a personal headcanon for cole) and shes their sweetheart

lovelypeaches09/04/2019bhrnrng this is in domestic au but col and kai teachign their kids instrumentscole and reka wud play piano duets togetherand monty doesnt like instruments much but he likes to singlike a LOT he belts out a song for everythinghe just lieks his own voice

burdletutt09/04/2019HNGGG HFHMONTY LOVS BEING LOUD

lovelypeaches09/04/2019YEAAAHhes like the type who makes a song for everythingmonty voice we rr goinggg to the parkkkkk and the grass isss.........GREEENNNNNNN and there are LOOK THERE ARE SQUIRRRELSSSS and a playground and the skyyyyy isssssssssssss...*deep inhale* BLUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE1E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!kai and cole: you are literally so talented

jay tries really hard to be the Cool Uncle at firstbut Monty just :^TReka gives him an awkward chucklewhen jay stops being Cool ™ hes goofy and thats when they start giggling and liking him more

[faunina]

tag game!

i got tagged by @villalunae ! thanks babe xoxo

Nickname: Nina, Ninchen, Kaninchen, and then theres also Weirder ones but those are all german injokes i have with my irl friends and family. so. DM me for details lhgkjfdf

Zodiac sign: scorpio 

Height: im gonna say 1,70m and pretend that thats uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh around 5′8 or some shit 

Hogwarts House: ravenclaw!

Last thing I googled: ”apollo temple palatine” bc our docent had told a Funny Anecdote about it and i had to check (said anecdote being that the house of emperor augustus had a private passageway directly into the temple and so ppl accused augustus of being roommates with his chosen patron god apollo)(oh my gd they were roommates)

Favorite artists: hozier is UP there right now, but ofc regina spektor remains an all time fave, as well as uuuhhh sufjan stevens and others

Song stuck in my head: “No Plan” from Hozier’s Wasteland, Baby! (ive fallen into shipping hell with Good Omens so now all my brain has been playing for DAYS is that album interspersed with Queen)

Following: 101 -cocks gun- okay one of those has to GO

Followers: 299! ayyyyyee i hadnt even noticed im that close to the 300 milestone. time to make Spartan Jokes

Do you get asks: very rarely, and the latest was some fuck trying to tell me im Straight bc im aspec. theyre usually better than that but. ya feel.

Amount of sleep: Terrible, Currently. IDEALLY id get 7,5h each night with an occasional 6h and 9h on the weekends. PRACTICALLY im getting 7,5h on the weekends and 6h/4,5h in the week. also were starting into exam month rn so -shakes 8-ball of fortune- Outlook Not So Good

Lucky number: 12 is a nice number :^)

What you’re wearing: idk man, jeans, t-shirt and a cardigan. the hot weather has overridden my German Need To Be Bundled The Fuck Up

Dream job: i deadass dont know how to answer that. is being a Hermit a job. can i be that. is that an option

Dream trip: kinda wanna explore more foreign countries, kinda just wanna do Heimaturlaub and explore all of germany (and german-adjacent). like i could go for some north sea vacation on Sylt rn, or a week in switzerland, or a couple days of chilling at the Bodensee 

Instrument: i DID do piano once and then never went anywhere with that. and i DID do very groundworks kinda shit with like. flutes n ukulele over one summer, And Then Never Went Anywhere With That. if i had my pick tho id love to be able to play an ancient greek instrument. for the Aesthetic™

Language(s): german and english fluent, my latin is Getting there, i really should attend some more to my greek and sanskrit and hebrew, and i remember fuck all about chinese and french. But Id Like To

Favorite songs: this has no fixed answer but im just gonna pick Warm Foothills by alt-j rn bc that song is VERY calming on one hand, has very like. “strong sunlight thru thick birch canopy at the edge of a sparkling little pond that ur dangling ur feet into” vibes, and it has overwhelmingly positive associations for me 

Random fact: did you know that the proto indo-european language had no reconstructable way of expressing the Future or the passive voice, but it DID have two distinct words for Farting Softly and Farting Loudly. Priorities.

Aesthetic: honestly, just kinda the places and what not surrounding my hometown. like esp the natural little spots full of trees and rivers and sunlight and high grass thatd id go exploring on my way home from school, esp during my last summer at highschool. ALSO standing in a forest of high standing pine trees on a grey autumn day, and watching and hearing the tops sway in the wind, and suddenly feeling like youre standing at the bottom of a Sea of trees looking up at the surface. I Like Forests

im TIRED and gay so im not gonna bother tagging anyone rn, but my mutuals are invited to feel tagged As Always, as are my followers bc why the heck not

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE TWO

“I'm starting to feel more comfortable with my position in the game.” - dem

HOH: Josh C UPSIDE DOWN: Nick & Joshua NOMINEES: Emma & Nash POV: N/A FINAL NOMINEES: N/A EVICTED: Dem (Expelled)

EMMA

I been struggling in this game which is sad i want to have fun but yesterday made me feel like maybe having a meltdown and leaving 90 percent of servers was a good idea for me i really hope not i just really want to have fun and win for some reasons i always have trouble prejury in games trying to find my footing but at jury and late prejury i always know how to rise ASDFGH the people i really like rn are Jakey loml jev loml aria queen saira queen and also joshua is easy to talk too!!! nathan is also great

DEM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSgjyUhGTng

NASH

i simply think men should stop winning hoh and trying to nom me. its week 2 go target someone else j*sh. jev and i are cool now though <3 love him

DEM

I'm starting to feel more comfortable with my position in the game. I think I'm not in anyone's bad graces so far, which is good. But I really need to win one of these next HoH's so secure my social relationships. My plan moving forward is to see win HoH's. I want to win the next to HoH's I'm eligible in back to back. I also want to try to secure my relationships with Gina, Jev, and Jake. Those are three people I want to be close with in this game. Also maybe Joshua? He's pretty cool and chill.

SAIRA

I'm still getting a sense of how the game works but I feel pretty good, there are some people that are much easier to talk to than others but everyone is still so nice! i feel good about josh c as hoh! we get along pretty well and I don't THINK im in any danger but you never know! imma be honest, I don't have an actual plan, i'm mostly playing this by ear, just talking to people, bullying beck when the chance arises, and being myself! 

JOSH C

HELLO GIRLIES!

well, we won HOH and that's really EXCITING. i probably didn't need to win this week but i figured that i'd get a win under my belt while nominating people would still be EASY. i can establish trust with some people and get a "i didn't nom you, please don't nom me" situation going on. i also feel like the two people i'm going to nominate would have NOMMED me anyways because we just haven't talked..

who those people are? nash & emma. (vl don't hate me for only nominating women i didn't want it to come to this either)

but i just.. both of them have really only put in any effort to talk to me now that i'm HOH and i don't really LOVE that tbh. i've already told a few people that's who i'm thinking so i kind of accidentally locked myself in on these noms because there isn't any sense in throwing out more names than i have to!!

i have an alliance with kiki, brianna, jacob, jake, and aria. (i think that's the people in it? i wanna say that's right. LKFMSDG love this game for me) and i feel pretty good in that because i like all of them enough and they're people that will watch out for ME and each other. but i know my social connections go beyond that so i'm feeling pretty good with my spot in the game? i have a solid relationship with almost everyone in the game and i think i should be able to play a cute lil utr game for a few weeks. i don't think that i'll get targeted first if my alliance gets outed and if so.. i have ENOUGH faith in my comp strength and relationships to save me against MOST of the cast.

people kind of want me to nominate DEM because apparently he starts drama with people and has been a bit inactive. he's talked with me more than other people so im not super keen on throwing him on the block RIGHT AWAY but i'm thinking he's a good replacement nom because if people think he's MIA then no one other than him will be upset with me. maybe a backdoor? could be spicy..

i don't really know what else to say here so.. i hope this is enough! love u guys <3

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/mJw3qxsZ-Bg

JEV

Okay so I feel like pretty comfortable this week because me and Josh have gotten pretty close and bonded over our mutual love of Lucas HOWEVER he's just let me know he's gonna be nominating Nash and Emma which isn't GREAT since I'm in alliances with both of them and they're the only 2 alliances I have so I really wouldn't want to see either of them go home this week, this SUCKS ASS

JAKE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt2xRQqqax8

ARIA

how is it ONLY week 2 i feel so hecking exhausted fhsabfd, but that might also be the fact that is 2 am so,,,oop. Um okay recap time!!!! Recaps are so hard because theres minor details that i still want to note without seeming super annoying so heres a minor list of things im noticing 

-Dem wants to "start playing the game" I told this to Jake (wish i could bold names ugh)

-Gina & dem told me they were gunning hard for hoh- i told nathan/monty/nick/,,,,and someone else this

-emma feels unconnected from cast

-Jake doesnt like Gina

-Josh likes Me Jev Kiki (told joshua)

-emma knows alliances are starting to form

-joey can get pwr hungry and chaotic + good comp ability

-told gnia my thoughts on the sides being "connected v unconnected" and other tidbits of info

-GIna (potentially joshua) doesnt like nash

-Nathan/Nash ARE CLOSE!!!!! WEE FUCKING WOO!!!!

-Told Jake that Jacob has the power (and the bs excuse he told gina pretending he doesnt have it,,,sure jan)

-jake is GREAT at lowering his threat lvl im sick

-Jev-Josh-Nathan-Nash all bonded p well on vc potentially an alliance

-jake tried to get gina nominated

-Emma Nash noms

-Jake doesnt want emma to leave

So,,,thats what you missed on GLEE! Honestly glee sucks but yeah thats all my info i would weave everything together with cute transitions but im TIRED and lots of this information doesnt really connect well so,,,have a bullet list! 

okok nvm heres some general thoughts bc JUST a bullet point list is so boringgg im honestly not too sure what i want to do this week bc i think emma doesnt have a lot of people (although she has jake apparently,,,she might just be putting up a front of being unconnected ffs) so i would rather keep her around based on our relationship alone esp compared to nash whose been busy w/ irl things to reply i think (nash would prob do gr8 in old school bb,,,but new school is a whole other beast) HOWEVER!!! I need to protect gina who isn't the best conversationalist (sorry bb ily but its true <3) and keeping nash around ensures people have another "inact" target besides her but also nash is such a god connection for people like nathan and jacob and i would rather get her out sooner than later before we have another renee on our hands ...

Also i havent talked to the pasio peeps (omg if we ever make an alliance,,,that should be the name hehe) in a while and idk if theyre distancing themselves or if theyre just busy fndsjafd god im too paranoid for this game its awful. Also i think i mentioned the alliance with josh kiki bri jake jacob last time and it still isnt made and im PRAYINGGG it never gets made bc i have SUCH an awful feeling like SIX FUCKING PEOPLE??? S I X?? THAT IS GOING TO FAIL AND BLOW UP!!!! but i cant say no to an alliance so here i fucking am :/ also im trying to think of my longevity in this game and like,,, idk im nervous. I mean ive mentioned going to the end with multiple people but i have such a bad feeling im gonna go out 9/10 as a big move and i REFUSE to let that shit happen, not on my fucking watch no sir!! Not sure what to do about it yet but i feel like monty in particular doesnt trust me and i need his ass OUT! or maybe not if he comes around but like??? sir pls talk to me- i mean this phase of the game is early im setting up the pawns for later, but before later theres gonna be a couple explosions of my game which i'll have to deal with,,, or maybe not actually i mean in my first org i did a really well mastermind game with it- nvm it did explode on me once FDBSHFDS yeah so theres gonna be an explosion period but i think im getting good at dealing w/ the backlash from it and reintegrating myself..

oh also yeah im safe this week lol

anyway sorry for rambling so much LMAO have a trust ranking!

1.Gina (MY QUEEN!!!!!!!! i LOVE her!)

-BIG BIG FUCKING GAP-

2.Jake (listen,,,my thoughts go back and forth but he did tell me the noms so,,,have some rights)

3.Saira (we never talk game but i dont think she talks with anyone about game beyond maybe nick and also shes nice and im a sucker for nice girls)

4.Emma (if this isnt all just a front shes gonna make a great number for me,, might need to fact check some of her statements tho)

5.Joshua (honestly? i love him hes so funny and i think he has my back although he could be more act)

6.Nathan (literally havent talked in 3 days but also i have a soft spot for him <3)

-GAP-

sorry the Js are just kinda scary lmao JFNSDKF

7.Nick (!! we gotta an actual connection folks!! heck yeah!)

8.Josh c (im safe! but he D E F trusts others more than me such as Joshua and Jacob)

9.Jev (honestly a king but hes a little quiet although his reccs are the BOMB)

10.Jacob (i know youre being sneaky,,,idk what youre being sneaky with but im getting the vibes)

11.Dem (might be weird but i think he trusts me? at least a little bc he ranted about losing to me so O.0)

12.Brianna (youre adorable and deserve the world but everyone likes you,,,is this how people view me omg fhsabfhds)

13.Kiki (youre SO hecking sweet and actually u probs have a connections to nash but we havent talked ANY game yet)

14.Nash (p,,p-please talk to me uwu)

15.Joey (i dont trust you at ALL! Why? good question-)

was that mean? sorry in advance ilyall but also its 3 am brain empty no filter

NASH

i think jev and nathan might end up being good allies of mine (inb4 betrayal)! despite the mistake he made nomming me, talking to jev has been lovely so far he's getting me into loona LMFAO. and i just love nathan's energy & i feel like as the season goes on i can see him winning comps. i'm excited :3 hope josh c does not end my existence this week

JOEY

I feel FANTASTIC about Josh being HoH. I’m making sure that others are coming to me about gameplans, and I’m making sure I don’t come off as too pushy or aggressive in PMs. With most of the players, I’m trying to give them all the same energy and hype. It seems kinda weird to say this, but I’m not concerned about being nominated at this point. What I need to ensure is building my social relationships with people outside the “Crackhouse”, and yes that big ol friend group moved to Discord in 20 minutes like 6 months ago. 

This is the first major game I’ve ever played with Skinny Nick(yes, I’m absolutely confused as to what to call them, I’m so used to calling Nick “Eve” that its going to take time to adjust.) Speaking of Nick, my social relationship with him is actually surprisingly similar. In the past, I felt as though it would be as “on-sight” as Tom & Jerry, and it actually isn’t turning out that way, which is surprisingly refreshing. Every day, I’m making sure I send Nick something different to diversify my social game with them. Yesterday, I asked Nick about his preferred streaming services for music and TV, and I discovered we have the same music service(Apple Music).

I’ve played one game with Monty before, but it was a disaster. We were in pairs, and it felt like we were on different planets. I did tell him to not worry about personal feelings when it comes to this game, because I compared the relationship of BB Netflix and the Crackhouse to the separation of church and state. I made that comparison because the two entities of church and state should never cross, but when they do it becomes disastrous, and I feel as though that same principle applies to this game.

Overall, I feel good, Emma may be going up on the block, but it shouldn’t affect me that much. We’re in the early stage, I want to make sure I’m good with everyone.

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFeox7LM1-E

JAKE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLkZ-BIIjTU

HOUSE MEETING

https://youtu.be/BZMorvWvyKY

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT WEEK 1 & 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc-iMpkfrdw&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=3&t=0s