#im treating myself tonight
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I PASSED MY BOARD EXAM!! IN LITERALLY MAY I WILL OFFICAILLY BE DOCTOR JESS!!!
#veterinarian#NAVLE#dvm#vet student#this is pretty damn good news#im treating myself tonight#and then will totally regret the crap ive eaten today tomorrow#but worth it
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yet another little Treat for myself! do i have a problem? maybe!
#got two lil jars As You All Can See to transfer the hearts into#and then i caved and got myself some snowflakes because i need some stress relief tonight!!!#sprinkle hours sprinkle hours-#photos from the bog#soon i will have Four little sprinkle jars on my shelf!#ohhhh and letti has discovered their refilled scratching circle...#im so glad i was able to go into town and get her a new collar PLUS! scratchy wheel#UPDATE! SHE IS LAYING ON IT! THE QUEEN APPROVES!#actually allow me to gush about her she's such a polite little beast#i had to put her new collar on#and she 1) came when called 2) jumped onto the stool and sat when asked 3) stayed perfectly and Patiently! still as i put the collar on#AND adjusted it!#she didn't complain or squirm one bit!#she let it happen and when i let go she stayed put and politely waited for a treat (or two! we indulge here!)#she looks so fancy...#i still dont know what happened to her other collar! the pendant was so nice!#now she has a shitty fish one </3#but her collar is a lovely blue with gold sun/moons on it#i thought it would compliment her lovely white & caramel fur! i was Correct!
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Jouse :3
“is there cheese in the great beyond?”
#I did so many little dots one by one I think I’m gonna be seeing dots in my sleep tonight#But he’s done after three ish hours!!! Yippee!!!#eddie’s art#tumblr sorta fucking crunched it >:[#Jouse#Chonny jash#cj wwph#Will wood#tomcat disposables#I was getting so fucking pissed off because of the little dots but it’s looks really nice soo good job me! Im gonna go give myself a little#Treat and a pat on the back
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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i am freeeeeeeee [collapses into a pile of dust]
#the last hour went okay bc we were just playing a card game and doing gifts/cards phew#also i found out theyre celebrating my bday on... august 25th? hewwo?? they didn't tell me until now 😭😭#my sister will be back at uni in sept and my parents are leaving on a trip the first day of sept so i'll be alone again for it fsdjkl#which. mixed feelings about that. i won't have to be afraid of them interacting w me but also :'( a little sad to be home alone for it#for the third year in a row fsjdkl#OH WELL. i should just be grateful tbh fdsjkl#the one thing i'm very sad about though is i can't go upstairs anymore bc the new security system has motion detectors#last year i watched jerma on the TV up there and sat on the comfy chairs... it was so fun fdsjkl. can't do that this year though AUGH#alas!!! i will somehow make it fun anyways maybe i will just ask if i can use the oven so i can make myself a cake again this year#SORRY FOR PERSONAL POSTING SO MUCH TONIGHT BTW. its been rough this evening fsdjkl but im going to go draw now :3#dandy.cmd#vent //#ALSO CONGRATS TO ME FOR BEING RLY QUIET AND AGREEABLE AND NOT ADDING ANYTHING NEW TO CONVOS HURRAY#finally i have gone back to highschool me thank GOD i've gotten too comfortable having opinions around them since i graduated fdsjkl#being around people (in the workplace and going to a counselor) who treat you like a Real Human Person will do that! wow!#abuse cw
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save me 8pm iced latte
#migraine tonight. but i havent left the apartment so i forced myself to go on a walk n get a treat#im hoping the caffeine will help but 😔#also the treat sucks i fear this coffee is bad
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tapsoc meets on fridays so i will unfortunately not be able to make it this week, but in the grand tradition of @dominimoonbeam let us all put our hands together and be as one in this thursday cafe writing time
#sorry about the reflection in my screen lol#peep the coffee beans stock image 👀👀#also sorry i already ate some of the cheesecake. it is tasty#i am electing to ignore my midterm next week#after class today i conquered the fear and FINALLY managed to buy an intl stamp and send a letter at the post office 🥳🥳#i actually sent TWO!! and i rlly hope they arrive in time bc they r birthday cards lol#BUT ITS A VICTORY!! so im treating myself by not thinking abt work too much tonight
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tired from the gym (send help)
#weak and eepy now#advil pm is gonna treat me good tonight#laura speaks#dont @ me#i know i look rough#im in the process of reinventing myself
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even tho I didn't pass my test today, I will still treat myself to a date w death 👍 maybe he can REAP THIS EMBARRASSMENT 💔
#/hj bc im over it now but ik tonight or 17 moons from now ill be tossing n turning LMAO#when i do pass though... ohh i think ill treat myself to a long play thru of olba again 🤭
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to add on to the philosophy of 'you're not unattractive you're just not your type' -
sometimes, you gotta see yourself in other people first in order to comprehend your own beauty
this works both in body positive and in gender affirming ways of course. who among us has not felt better about the things that cause us gender dysphoria after seeing someone else w the same features absolutely own it?
but today i'm mostly thinking about being at the grocery store and seeing the beauty in a stranger's exposed belly as their skin folds when they reach around for something and their croptop rides up, hips turning and revealing pale stretch marks.
like. oh. yeah my belly folds like that. my hips look like that. and they're beautiful.
or when a cashier at the gas station laughs at a joke you made and when they smile it's all pink gums and little peeking teeth.
and you think wow. what a lovely smile. i smile like that.
idk. i just think that falling in love with the mundane beauty of the people around you can sometimes help remind you of your own quiet beauty.
#i am feeling hozier's 'i fall in love just a little bit oh a little bit everyday with someone new' in this chili's tonight#and i am adding self-love to it as a logical conclusion to the concept#im from the 'fake it till you make it' school of thought so i dont relate exactly to many ppls body image struggles#bc i just decided one day to start acting and treating myself like i was god's gift to humanity and the sexiest bitch on earth#until i trickedy brain into believing a palatable version of that confidence#but ye. i love the human body and that's gotta include mine by default so#body posititivity#does this fall under that#yea probably#sketchy speaks
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Happy (Hat)oween! (+ Extra 👀)
Happy Halloween everybody! Hope you guys don't get a wet and rainy spring day like I did... But that is besided the point!
I think the kids should all hang out and go trick-or-treating together! Hat Kid being in a dinosaur costume, Mu as a witch, Bow Kid as a "Were-Cat" and Timmy as a zombie! They probably went to Subcon to trick-or-treat but probably got kicked out by The Snatcher after realising they snuck into his forest.
(A very special thing under the Read More 👀)
GUESS WHO JUST VOICED A MOD FOR THE HALLOWEEN HATCORD MODDING JAM!! I voice both Hat Kid and Bow Kid in this mod so I hope you go check it out!
#ahit#a hat in time#ahit hat kid#a hat in time hat kid#ahit mustache girl#a hat in time mustache girl#ahit bow kid#a hat in time bow kid#ahit timmy#a hat in time timmy#ahit fanart#a hat in time fanart#might also do another MJ blog post thing tonight :eyes:#im a little tired after trick-or-treating myself but i think i'll be able to do something decent#so watch out for that hehe
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the secret to happiness is doodling something catered to You Specifically. one second you're normal the next you're biting your own arm
#ouaghasfaifadkj WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#having a great time rn#barnaby/eddie/howdy is affecting me more than i thought it would#its soooooo surface level but WHO CARESSSSS IM EXPERIENCING JOY#literally have to pause to bite my hand/arm tho its making me insane#sometimes happiness is drawing a puppet sandwiched between two bigger puppets & getting smooches from Both#delight delight delight De-fucking-light!!!!#happy chemicals in my brain!!! hello! i have not seen you in Days!!!#slamming my face into a wall but in happiness#absolutely unprompted#ouuugasahgshagfshaksjas#the ship is Not That Deep but its so Ough yk#pure indulgence!!!#again!! catered to Me Specifically!!!#im feeling so indulgent that i will treat myself to takeout tonight#i do not have it in me to cook#and im sick of canned soup & microwave meals!!!#sushi tonight babey!!! bento box!!#ill even force myself to do the rancid dishes ive been putting off for nearly a week#that will make the takeout even More of a treat!#i will feel more deserving of it and less Guilty!
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im so good at distributing my shopping at the self checkout between my two plastic bags in a way that ensures they are more or less equally weighted. can i put that on my cv
#however unfortunately because of my height if i hold the shopping bags normally they scrape the ground so i have to slightly raise my arms#when im carrying them home? which very very quickly becomes fucking murder. anyway i DID IT i got sweet treats and ingredients 4#tonight when i will be making a thai red curry noodle soup...or trying to...you know what. i really am much better at like making#the effort to cook that was one of my resolutions and actually i am really doing it. im not very good but like. i am cooking!! im feeding#myself!!!#(ridi's) bigmouth strikes again
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i know it's 2024 and i have no doubt this point has been made a million times before by a million people more eloquent than me, but here i am again, wishing there had been an
"okay, and...?"
dialogue option during blackwall's big reveal, like...........................what if my inquisitor truly did not care???????? the drama in that!!!! the drama!!!!!!!!
#queenie rambles about dragon age#i know there are SO many bigger and more glaring issues w the dialogue choices in dai and how youre railroaded into treating certain charas#i dont want to minimize those in the SLIGHTEST#but like????????????? idk dude like my inky was a mercenary/sellsword for a hoT MINUTE before the conclave like#she would narrow her eyes like edgar allan poe in that kate beaton comic#idk all the veilguard talk has me thinking about dai again and since im a blackwall girlie i find myself returning to that scene a lot#and i GET that HE feels wracked with guilt and can't live with it - THAT part i get!!! but my inky would just be like ????? okay????#and wouldnt THAT have been a crazy reaction to explore??? he's beside himself w guilt and getting this horrible thing out in the open#only for the inquisitor to like shrug and act like it's a normal tuesday???? idk i'm deep in it tonight lads
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Yo someone beat some motivation into me to get this case study done
#ahhh#im still not feeling 100% but ive gotta get back to it#dumb brain says no but ive gotta#ramble corner with major#just keep telling myself that if i get it done i can look through the blorbo tag later as a treat#maybe ill reblog a bunch of sky stuff tonight
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