#im very bad at following people back but rest assured if we have interacted in any capacity before than you are a beloved mutual to me

[seimei-chsq]

goddamn i never realized most of my darling figure skating mutuals are in european time zones… like i knew. but i didn’t Know. looking around the figure skating tag frantically calling‘mutuals?? beloved mutuals??’ like a kid trying to find their mom in a grocery store.

[flooffybits]

At Your Corner

Idol: Kim Minji (Dreamcatcher)

Anon: my heart just broke bc i saw a pic of minji smiling but trying to hide her pain when their deja vu win got snatched by the sh*w so may i request a scenario with jiu being sad abt that but since shes in public, she needs to smile for the fans. 8th member reader who doesnt rlly show her emotions notices and just lets her kid side out like suddenly jumping in front of jiu and going "hey im a race car get on!" to make her laugh then fans coo and stuff? sry if this is a mess u can change anything tnx

A/n: this came very recently and i don’t usually work on newer requests but this fit my mood way too much that i couldn’t help BUT write it

☕buy me a coffee☕

Standing at the corner of the room, you survey the scene and watch as your members all look exhausted after everything you’ve been through.

It’s quieter than usual, and while you usually preferred it, you hated this silence.

Once again, you were close to finally obtaining a win for your group, and yet you were just a few points too short when The Show finally released the results. You could feel as your members’ shoulders visibly fell when you were all finally off the stage and from the public eye. You had all worked so hard and believed that this comeback would finally be the one to get you a win.

The first weeks of promotions had made you start to lose hope when you had yet to obtain what your group desired, but your leader remained optimistic through it all, telling you that it wasn’t over and that you still had more chances. Yet in the end, her optimism was snuffed out as she sat by the corner, head in her hands as she struggled to pull herself together for when you all had to leave the venue and face your fans.

To make matters worse, Handong was leaving for China in a few days.

With a shaky breath, you turned away and shrugged off your stage outfit, replacing it with the shirt you previously wore, tossing on your hoodie and cap when you were done before heading out of the room, one of your managers quickly following after you as Bora’s frown deepened when she caught a glimpse of your expression.

“Come on, girls. We have to get going soon.” Minji called after she cleaned her face and dusted herself off. She watched as Yoohyeon hurried and quickly left, silently asking your remaining managers where you had gone off to before she went to find you.

With a heavy heart, the girls exited the waiting room and headed for the building exit where you and Yoohyeon were already waiting, the younger girl holding your hand while she kept her head on your shoulder, nuzzling against you for comfort whilst you held her closer to yourself with your own head down.

Minji felt a tug in her heart to see you, but when she tried to reach you, Siyeon tugged at her arm and then shook her head, knowing that there would be no getting to you at this point.

While you rarely expressed yourself, it was easy to tell when you wanted to shut everything and everyone out. You would let the girls come near you, but you wouldn’t say a single thing or react to anything they’ll say except for a nod or a shake of the head in case they ask you something.

“Unnie told me she was with Everglow before Yoohyeon unnie found her.” Gahyeon muttered softly from beside the vocalist. “She said she was trying to make them feel better because of the votes.”

It was a little after you all exited the stage when people began making comments online about miscalculations. As much as it was a possibility, you and your members decided not to look into it just so it wouldn’t further worsen your mood. You were already upset with having lost, it made you feel even worse to know that your dongsaengs were most likely receiving backlash with everything that was happening.

“It’s going to be okay.” Bora murmured, squeezing her friend’s hand as they approached you and the quiet girl. Handong offered you a small smile, but you merely nodded at her before looking to the door, hearing the shouts of fans that were waiting for you.

You lower your cap over your eyes just to avoid making further eye contact with anyone before finally leaving the venue, eyes squinting at the flashing of the cameras. Yoohyeon had let go of you to join Bora and Yubin’s side. Siyeon and Gahyeon stood closely side by side and Minji was clinging to Handong in order to comfort both of them.

And it just hurt so much more to see them forcing smiles on their faces when you knew just how terrible they all felt. You also knew that your own fans felt just as bad, seeing the tears on some of them when the winners were announced.

Right now, you felt stuck because it was usually Gahyeon and Minji who kept bright smiles on their faces. Your members were always eager to interact with fans, just like you, but this whole predicament merely took its toll on all of you.

But you refused to let this night end with them in tears.

Smiling, you waved to your fans and tried to give off the energy your members were lacking despite how it would usually be the other way around. Looking to your managers for permission, they were a little less strict this time around when they knew you just needed some space and allowed you to approach some fans.

Your members were somewhat surprised as you stepped away from them to greet everyone, thanking each of them for coming and supporting you all. Minji could feel her eyes watering at the sight of you trying your absolute best in covering for all of them, even trying to distract fans from noticing their weary state.

“Please be safe when you get home! The others are a little tired so please understand.” You tell them with a meaningful look and you were just grateful to know you had such understanding and thoughtful fans.

Even with the blinding flashes of the camera, you did your best speaking with them until your eyes landed on a few teary eyed Somnias. You felt your throat close up, but you do your best to swallow your emotions before approaching them. “Hey, why are you crying?” You asked and they turn to you with sadness swimming in their glossy eyes.

“We wanted to finally give you all a win, but we couldn’t do it.” One of them answers, your expression softening before you shook your head and opened your arms for them. Giving them both a warm hug, you patted their backs before giving them a small squeeze. “You guys did more than enough. You got us nominated, and that’s a really big thing, so thank you.” You assure them with your best smile,

“We’ll keep working harder, so please don’t be sad.”

Seeing your interaction with the fans pushed tears to Siyeon’s eyes and she had to avert her gaze while Bora wiped at the corner of her own eyes at your selflessness.

It didn’t take long before you came bounding over to your members and you sported a grin as you patted all of them, be it on the arm of back. “Come on, come on! I’m hungry, aren’t you?” You question playfully, earning a giggle from Yubin while Handong reached to pinch your cheeks.

When you turn to your leader, you smile before turning around so your back is facing her then gesture for her to hope onto your back. “Unnie, everyone is slow! Come on, you can get the food faster if you come with me.”

Minji couldn’t help but laugh at your display, her heart warming at your rare carefree personality and knowing that you were doing this for them.

So, without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around your shoulder as you crouched down before allowing you to lift her on her back, laughter bubbling from her lips as you carried her away from the rest of your members while they watched on with smiles on their faces, happy to see your leader a little better compared to earlier.

“Yah! Unnie, be careful!” Gahyeon called out when Minji squealed after you nearly tripped, but you were able to tighten your hold on her legs, securing her on your back before you decided to merely walk instead of run to the van, the older woman’s face tucked comfortably against your neck that you could feel her smiling against your skin.

You didn’t have to go out of your way to check up on her and make her feel better, but she appreciated how you still did so without anyone having to ask you to do it. As quiet as you were, she loved the way you were ready to come to their aid.

“Thank you.” You hear her whisper and you hum while shrugging your shoulders lightly. “It’s nothing, unnie.” Though despite your words, she knows that you were relieved to have her, and the others, smiling as well.

Later that night, there are articles about you and your actions for that day. Pictures of you with fans and Minji, especially, circulate everywhere, but the girls decide that staying off social media would be healthy for them as they happily ate the food that you had asked your managers to bring to the dorm.

“Do you think we should wake her up?” Yubin asked when she glanced to your shared room, but Handong shook her head and smiled after drinking some water. “Jiu unnie did say she’ll take care of Y/n, so we can wait until they’re back.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen Y/n unnie have that much energy.” Yoohyeon commented after chewing her food, Gahyeon nodding in agreement with a tiny smile on her face. “Unnie is honestly so cute. I wanted to cry when she was hugging and comforting Somnias.” The maknae pouted while Bora giggled. “That kid is really unpredicatable sometimes.”

Siyeon scoffed at her claim, chopsticks pointed in the dancer’s direction. “Speak for yourself.” That earned a smack on the arm as Handong burst into laughter, everyone else following after as they exchanged more stories, forgetting about the award show and their previous concnerns.

Meanwhile, Minji looked down at you with a fond smile as you laid on her chest, arms wrapped around her waist as she kept her own around your slightly smaller frame.

As much as she cried earlier, you were able to make her feel better. Even as you slept soundly against her, she would thank you endlessly for being in her life and picking her up whenever she was down.

Somewhere along the way, she realized that some trophy meant nothing compared to the love and support she’s received from the people who surrounded her. While it was nice to have that recognition for the group, she would pick a group that was stable and gave as much as they received any day.

As long as you were among those people, her heart was safe and sound.

[sovpologist]

hi, genuine question! I want to like Mara, but d2 lore shows her, in my eyes, as selfish and cruel, set on her own goal with no consideration for others. At least that's what I got from marasenna lorebook.

Why is she liked by so many in community? I feel like I'm overlooking something over things I mentioned above, but I would appreciate a perspective from someone who likes her character! If it's okay to ask!

its totally okay to ask!! this is going to be a long post so im going to put it under a readmore :)

i just want to stress first that mara is like.... widely disliked by many in the community. it used to be very unpopular to like her and if you even said anything remotely positive about her, people would reply to your posts and send you anons about how you were a terrible person for liking such a manipulative and toxic character. it was only recently that community opinion kind of started to shift, and people started to actually appreciate her character as nuanced and interesting. i definitely dont think this is because of me or anything crazy like that, but ive tried to correct misconceptions about her and cultivate a space on my blog at least where people can just openly like mara and not feel like they have to qualify it by constantly assuring people that they know mara's done bad things too (because literally every character in d2 has done bad things, and somehow people understand that liking the uldren doesnt mean you support him killing cayde but cant apply that same concept to mara for some reason). ok, im getting off my soapbox now and im going to just talk about why i like her.

mara is genuinely just such a fascinating character to me. reading the marasenna im really struck by how alone she is, even as a 19 year old human. her mom has essentially abandoned her and says that she's mara's friend but not her mother, and mara's father is never mentioned, so mara literally has no parental guidance or supervision or love. this puts a lot more of her pre-awoken actions into context, such as her not knowing how to interact with people and preferring to keep herself away from the rest of the crew. everyone mara loves leaves her. her mom stays in the distributary, uldren is distant in his efforts to impress and surprise her and then dies, and sjur dies too.

i also love mara's character arc, although it kind of makes me sad. mara is so painfully human in the earlier parts of the marasenna. she's awkward, she's lonely, she thinks her and uldren's secret language is "cool," she gets embarassed at her mom's embarrassing petnames, she hero-worships alis li and listens to her advice. watching her lose all of this and crystalize into a queen is so interesting. remember, mara didn't go out into the fight between the darkness and the traveler bc she knew she would gain power and create the awoken, its stated that she went out there to die. so a 19 year old just trying to die peacefully ends up witnessing firsthand the power of the dark and light and being tasked with essentially creating a new species, knowing that one day she wants to go back and fight the darkness. she becomes such a politician and has to scheme and plot and really loses her humanity while following ALIS' advice- alis was the one who told her that people need a mascot, not a friend. this also makes for a really interesting scene where alis grants mara one favor, and instead of asking for political power, even though mara is such an intensely political and scheming person, she tells alis the truth about the awoken and asks for forgiveness. alis, who mara looked up to, doesnt forgive her, and mara really internalizes this and starts to permantantly close herself off. mara made herself into a queen and lost her humanity in the process. there's a couple people who see the real her, like sjur, but even sjur doesnt really understand her. but her relationship with sjur is also so well written and interesting, sjur being the one person she lets herself drop her mask around and just act human. i made a post about this once, but even mara's speech patterns change around sjur, becoming much more casual and "normal." however, at the same time, mara's mask/persona is a part of her character, and one that i love. people hate her for being "mean," but i like characters like that. mara doesnt take any shit, even from the protagonist, and has her own plans and goals that she doesn't feel obligated to share or change for other people. she's ambitious, sticks to her guns, and doesn't allow other people to influence her.

you say she's selfish, and i think it is easy to brush her off as selfish and doing everything for her own gain, but there's a lot of subtext and outright text in the marasenna and other lore that shows mara genuinely believes that the only way to fight the darkness is to become a being on the same level as the darkness and the traveler. she doesn't let the awoken become immortal gods, which some people regard as a bad thing, but she did that for a reason. mara understands that a people who are eternal and ageless will never grow as people, and she knew that the darkness wanted them to just be complacently sitting aside in their little realm while it does whatever it wants. mara wasn't going to let that happen, and knew she had to find a way to encourage people to leave paradise. you can dislike the way she went about this, essentially encouraging conflict and war among her people, but she did not just do it for her own gain or amusement. mara has also been hated on for starting the reef war/firing a missile at the house of wolves, people act like she did that just for fun too, but the eliksni fleet was heading to conquer earth. instead of just hiding and building up her own resources, which wouldve been the logical thing to do in this situation, mara put her own fleet and power on the line to draw the eliksni's attention away and help earth. she doesn't do things solely bc they benefit her, but because she genuinely loves and wants to help earth. her uncaring persona is a mask, the thing that she feels she needs to be for people to have faith in her.

i have more to say but this is already so long and ive said a lot, so i'll end it here :) at the end of the day, some people are just not going to like mara and thats totally fine. she's not everyone's type, bc she IS ambitious and manipulative and sometimes cruel. i just wish she didnt get a disproportionate amount of hate for being like that when i know for a fact that if she was a male character she would not get this much hate, and i wish that people could just dislike her normally without lying about her or misinterpreting her character and motivations. but if you dont like her, you dont like her! sometimes we just dislike characters, sometimes for well thought out reasons snad sometimes just for no reason! thats completely fine, as long as you're respectful!!

[beautyandthewarcanons]

Echo's Beacon: Part Ten

[You can read part nine here! All BATW & DTTR characters belong to @poisonappletales ! ❤]

The noise attracted others in the house, some venturing from the dining hall as Ambrosia sat me up against the wall, holding my hands. While she tried to calm me, Onyx approached the scene.

"Where is the King? I must inform him that several individuals have left the dining-"

"Onyx, you can't leave him down there!" I cried.

The executioner looked toward the basement stairs, descending them without hesitation. My breathing was uneven, Ambrosia moving some hair out of my face. Several agonizing minutes later, Onyx returned with Barium, shutting the door as I exhaled sharply with relief.

"There was no one down there. I got caught on something sharp, but I'm fine." Barium reported.

"I w- was worried... thank God Onyx went down there for you..."

"My sole priority is to protect the King." Onyx replied. "Informing me of his location assisted in carrying out that task."

Wind silently observed the conversation, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. He knelt by me suddenly.

"Let me see your face." He said, taking my jaw to turn my head toward him.

"Sir Wind?" Ambrosia tilted her head. "Is something wrong?"

Wind didn't answer her at first, letting go of my face. "Keep that door locked." Was all he said before walking away from the scene.

Bo came into the area then. "Barium, is everything okay?" She asked, brushing some dust away from his hair.

"I'm okay, sweetness." He replied.

"What happened here?" Viktor asked as he wandered near. "It wasn't a ghost, was it?!"

"Wait, there was another ghost?!" Bo gasped.

"Viktor, don't make assumptions before we know what transpired. It's only going to cause unnecessary alarm." Arsenik said.

"So tell us what transpired already!" The younger Hulder cried.

"Hey..." Chase moved past the pair of blondes upon seeing my state. "What happened? Ambrosia, why's she crying?"

"Perhaps X could explain why." Barium spoke up, his expression hardening once again. As eyes rested on the prisoner then, Wildfire and Brooks lingered behind some of the others, Brooks furrowing a brow as she glanced at her best friend. Wildfire watched the group, pacing a bit.

"Oi, what are you all looking at ME for?!" X held his arms out, motioning to all of them.

"Kara said that you LOCKED her in there. If there really had been someone down there, you would be responsible."

"Hey, don't give me that 'authoritative' stuff. I was just playing around, so you're not gonna-" X was suddenly shoved against the wall, Chase bearing his teeth.

"Sir Chase, don't!" Ambrosia exclaimed.

"Don't you ever... go near her again." Chase hissed through his teeth.

"Onyx." Barium said lowly, nodding his head toward the Trold.

X smirked, scoffing. "Or what, shrimpy, are you gonna-"

Chase reared his fist back, and it came within inches of connecting to the side of X's head before Onyx intervened, pulling Chase away.

"Let me at 'im!" He shouted.

"Chase, that's enough." Barium stood in front of him. "Chase, I know you're angry right now. I am too. Assaulting X isn't going to help Kara. Go into your room and cool off."

"I'm not some kid!" Chase exclaimed, tearing himself out of Onyx's grip. "I don't need a time out in my room like some baby. I'll go somewhere else." He shot a glare in X's direction before storming down the hall.

"Everyone, leave the area and stay out of trouble." Barium ordered. Brooks' eyes followed Wildfire as she smirked, a smugness in her step.

"Come, lady Kara. It's alright." Ambrosia kept an arm around my waist as I got to my feet. X tried to approach us, but Ambrosia maneuvered around him.

"Princess- oh come on, don't be like that- I was just playing around! Ambrosia!" He called after her, groaning with frustration when she ignored him as he ran a hand through his hair.

---

Some time later, as I sat in bed, calmer, Ambrosia glanced up when there was a knock at the door. She reassured me before getting up to answer it.

"Ah, good evening, sir Arsenik." I perked up at this.

"And a good evening to you, miss Ambrosia. I... came to inquire of how miss Kara is faring."

"How thoughtful! She's still awake if you would like to speak to her." I sat up straighter.

"Of course." He entered the room, and I couldn't help but smile as he drew nearer.

"Sir Arsenik, would you mind looking after lady Kara while I fetch another cloth?" Ambrosia asked.

"Not at all." He nodded. "Miss Kara, you don't object to me sitting here, do you?" He motioned to the edge of the bed.

"Oh, no, yeah you're good." I cleared my throat. Ambrosia smiled, quietly slipping out of the room.

A few moments of silence elapsed. My gaze fluttered down to my hands, playing with the sleeves of my shirt.

"Were you injured, miss Kara?" Arsenik finally broke the silence.

"Not really. I... was more scared than anything." I answered.

"I believe that it may be wise to not stray far from the group going forward." He advised.

I shrugged. "I'm not sure if it matters either way."

"It is rather odd... you've been able to experience interactions with those who are no longer living... but such beings eluded both miss Ambrosia and the King."

"I... don't know what to say." I sighed. "I just don't get it. Bernard said earlier today that I didn't have to worry about them hurting me."

"Wait. The older gentleman... he is aware of such presences here?"

"Well... he said they were people who lived here once... a long time ago. But when one of them died... bad things happened."

"... And yet he opens this dwelling to others who are at risk of hostile encounters?"

"He told me there's never been a problem- well, that a lot of people have stayed here with no incident."

Arsenik gaze shifted as he thought to himself for a moment. "This troubles me. We are to be here for several more weeks."

"Arsenik... I'm fine. I'll just find things to distract myself-"

"You're not fine." He cut me off. "Forgive me... but your well being is at stake. I should like to learn more information about the history of this place from that man."

"Arsenik, really, it's okay. He's been really nice. He lives all by himself... I don't want to make him feel worse than he probably already does."

Arsenik sighed lightly. "You allow far too many to get away with their wrongdoings."

"I know."

"I should hope you don't mean to do the same with the prisoner."

A bit of my hair fell in my face. "I... I have no idea what to even say to him."

"What he did could have resulted in something far worse than a scare, miss Kara. It was reckless." I was silent for a moment. "Miss Kara, please look at me." I took in a deep breath, my eyes meeting his. "I know that companionship is what you crave. I'm sorry that very few have been willing to offer it to you. But I assure you... it will be yours. You will never be completely abandoned. I hope you are never left alone in the dark like that ever again."

"I hope not, either." I replied. My hand hesitantly moved, about to rest over Arsenik's slender fingers, concealed by the silk of his glove.

There was a knock at the door.

"Wait here, miss Kara. I'll get it." I watched Arsenik's hand slip away, looking after him longingly as he went to the door.

"Oh, hello Arsenik. Isn't this... Kara's room?" Barium rose a brow.

"Yes, your Majesty. Forgive me, I only wished to inquire how she was faring."

"That was nice of you. I'd like to speak to her, if you don't mind."

"Of course. I'll take my leave." Arsenik turned, giving a light bow. "Miss Kara... have a peaceful night."

"Thanks... goodnight, Arsenik. Thanks for checking up on me." I smiled lightly. I watched as he left, Barium approaching to take his place.

"You seem a bit better." Barium started. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine now." I nodded. "Barium... I was really scared when... you ran into the dark like that."

A light chuckle. "Believe me, I've been through worse. But..." He placed a hand on mine. "... your concern meant a lot."

I froze, watching as his thumb traced where my hand met my wrist. "You really didn't find anything down there?"

"No... I just bumped into something sharp. It was hard to see where I was going at some points."

I furrowed my brows. "There was something down there..."

Barium sighed. "I had a discussion with a few people. What happened today won't be taken lightly. You didn't deserve that." He extended a hand. Ambrosia approached the door, stopping upon seeing Barium cup the side of my face. "Let me make it up to you. If there's anything you want me to do... let me do it for you."

I looked down for a moment, smiling. "You don't have to do anything. You've already done a lot for me."

Another chuckle. "You really are a tough customer. What's a King to do when someone he's so fond of asks for no gifts?"

"Maybe because the gifts I like aren't ones that can be held." I replied. His expression softened. He leaned forward a tad before hesitating. He drew back after a moment.

"I'm sure you're tired. I'll let you sleep now." Barium said. "Sleep well, Kara."

"Thanks, Barium... you too." I replied.

When he left and Ambrosia placed a damp cloth on my head, humming a quiet lullaby, my eyes wandered to the painting. Its waters seemed tamer that night.

To be continued...

[lemonietrinket]

Camping ||| NCT 127 & WayV x Reader

Share With Taeyong

Genre: Fluff, adventure, mystery, interactive choose-your-own-story Warning(s): References to alcohol use but nothing severe/dangerous Word Count: 2355 Ambience: here

[START]

~~~

“Can I share with you, Yongie?”

The man in question immediately sat up, cheeks aglow with tipsy rouge and a beaming smile. “Of course you can!” 

His arms flew open, childishly beckoning you over and leaving Doyoung to sigh. He didn’t say a word however, and simply shook his head, stepping further over so you could pass and he could get his bed back.  You barely had a chance to offer him a glance of an apology as Taeyong’s face turned from sunshine to a cloudy pout. 

“Y/N...!” he called with a whine.

Ah, yes, you had forgotten how needy a mildly drunk Taeyong could be.

“I’m coming, Yongie, hang on.” There was no way you could wipe the smile off your lips as you stepped awkwardly across the suitcases and to his side.

As soon as you were close enough, no matter what you had intended to do before joining him, he stretched up so he could pull you down. Slowly tumbling into his lap with a yelp, Taeyong merely hummed happily as he pulled you against his chest. His hands slipped round your waist and settled neatly across your stomach, whilst he nuzzled his nose into the back of your neck. Surprised at such the display of affection you weren’t sure what to do, especially with you turned away from him. You continued to giggle while your heart drummed against your lungs. However, when he began to rub small circles into your belly, eventually you let yourself sink into his embrace. He felt so light you were nervous to at first, but you reminded yourself that he was tougher than he looked. Besides, he was the one squeezing you tighter to the point it was getting difficult to breathe.

And so you let yourself lay back, hands joining his and stroking them as you rested your head on his shoulder, leaving him to settle his chin on yours. At your new angle you could finally see him, his shining doe eyes darkened with a sated tiredness as he blinked at you, no smile to be found.

It took you several moments to realise that was because he was exaggeratedly batting his eyelashes at you. And truth be told there was no way you could choke down the laugh that followed. You’d been about to enquire if he’d gotten something in his eyes when he shifted away, pouting at you properly with a flush of pink rising to his nose and cheeks. “What! What did I do?! Did I do something wrong—you hate me don’t you—”

Oh yeah, you’d forgotten that side of the liquor’s effects too.

“No, no Yong!” you interjected before he could ramble any further, sheepishness fluttering through your chest leading you to turn in his loosened grip, your hands reaching for his where they had retreated, “I don’t hate you, I promise I don’t hate you!” Fingers linking carefully with his, he didn’t resist though the smile didn’t return to his beautiful features even as you created a cradle for them. Beginning to worry, you looked across the tent. “Isn’t that right Doyoung?”

It was only then that your gaze glanced to the other side of the tent. You felt bad for how quickly you’d forgotten about the third person there with you, despite being well aware of the effect that Taeyong has on people—and especially you.

Though this was dashed as Doyoung replied, not sparing a single look to either of you and continuing to get into his sleeping bag, “I’m not getting involved.”

“But—!”

“Taeyong is your responsibility now, sucks to be you,” he iterated, a lilt of snark in his voice. “Rip.”

You had half a mind to go to town on him right there and then; tease him for how weird the word felt coming out of his mouth, and as to where he got it from. He was spared only because he was correct, to an extent. Taeyong was still quite upset, and if left in this state without attention for too long, he would only worsen—something you’d learned from unfortunate personal experience.

Turning back to him you found him staring at you, a concerned pout still on his face and glimmering specks in his eyes. “Ignore him Yongie, he’s playing mean.” Reaching up, you stroked the hair out of his eyes where it had fallen, before thumbing his cheeks gently. They were so soft you could’ve melted. “Why don’t we get into bed now? I think Doyoung wants to sleep and we could both do with some.”

After a moment’s thought, he mumbled, “Fine...” However, he did not seem to become any less restless. In fact as his hands left yours, he only seemed to sadden more. 

“It’s ok Yongie,” you began slowly, in the softest voice you could manage, “tomorrow you won’t even remember this.” Your assurance was met with a grumble that you couldn’t quite make out. “Yong?”

“I don’t forget you.”

As he spoke he peered back over his shoulder, and despite the storm and the dim lights he looked nothing less than a masterpiece, the inspiration of a statue briefly catching him and his neutral expression. You were left in utter silence at his cryptic words, and more so at how the corners of his lips briefly upturned before he turned back round and he began to shift himself across the bed to get himself comfortable.

Hanging back, watching him with a dozy smile on your lips, your thoughts ran wild despite what you showed to the rest of the world. Though the relief washing through you offered a temporarily ease, the nerves and confusion broke through its barrier in the end. Could you keep your cool? The man you had a crush on was going to be right next to you for a whole night. Did he feel the same or was this the drink talking? You didn’t think he was quite drunk but then again you hadn’t been there with him for that long. Then again... what did he mean by that? And would he be happy with this the next morning?

You knew you had to be very careful, for his sake.

“If you want me to sleep away from you or on the floor then that’s—”

Taeyong, now with his legs under his blankets, whipped his head up. “No! No you sleep here, next to me. So you’re nice and warm.”

“Are you sure?”

His nose scrunched briefly before he nodded with such a certainty. “I won’t let you sleep on the floor! Now come on.”

Feeling you could do little but follow his instructions, you stepped over to his side while he slipped further beneath the covers, until only his head could be seen. When it was time for you to join him, he lifted the blankets’ edges to help you under.  And no sooner were you lying on your back, blinking at the ceiling than rather confronting the man beside you, Taeyong had rolled closer and rested his head on your shoulder, fitting at your side with a hand clutching at your shirt, as if you were the only provider of safety. 

Your heart leapt and you prayed he couldn’t feel it. You felt over the moon, there was no denying it, but your thoughts continued to race. 

And then the light went out. 

Doyoung murmured an already half-asleep ‘goodnight’ that you echoed without a second thought, while Taeyong merely yawned. It was a cute little yawn, the same one you’d seen while he played animal crossing late in the evening, and it had a special way to awake the butterflies in your stomach. 

Taking the deepest breath you could manage, you folded your arm around him, just in case he took that as a sign you weren’t happy, in his tired and slightly emotional state. It earnt him pressing even closer to you, his nose nuzzling further into your neck. 

But all that followed was quiet, and once again you laid awake, listening to the drops of rain scattering across the canopy of the tent.  Taeyong’s words echoed through your head, their mantra forcing a frown on your face even while you closed your eyes, in an attempt to shut them out. It didn’t work however—you needed an answer

It was such a strange way to phrase something. It implied that he didn’t remember others, or at least to in the same way. Even though it was probably the product of his tiredness mixing with the remnants of alcohol, you couldn’t help but tease at the edges of the hope it brought you. You were special, different from the others, to him, and that meant that you have a chance. 

“Y/N...!” The whisper was low. 

“Yeah?” you answered, without a hint of grogginess.

“You’re still awake...” He sounded happy that you were.

“What’s up?”

There was a pause. “I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep again, so I’m glad I’m not alone.”

Wait, you thought, how long has it been since—

“I’m sorry that you have to take care of me.”

You felt him lift his head upwards, his breath coming to tickle your neck and you wondered what he was looking at. Of course you knew it had to be you, but you wished the dark would just subside for a moment, just to let you see for yourself. 

“I will remember it tomorrow though, I promise!”

“You will?” you uttered, hardly believing it. As soon as liquor entered his system it was as if it triggered a reset within him the next morning. He’d get up and return to being so normal that it was almost unsettling, clearing up any mess he found as he trundled into the kitchen, not a single memory of the night before flickering across his mind.  You remembered the first and only time that you’d been up before him to see it—though ‘up’ was perhaps the wrong term, since you had in fact not slept that night to have not been. Either way, you’d become a molten mess as soon as you spotted him enter the kitchen out of the corner of your eye. His presence had been so small as he slipped through the door, holding it steady so it wouldn’t close with a slam. And then he’d turned, arms crossed to retain some warmth and puffed his cheeks into the fridge. It was impossible to picture this man as the same guy that owned the stage in front of thousands. 

You would have continued your little dream, sighing  like you always did when he stood and smiled sweetly to you slouched at the island counter, when it hit you square in the gut that the real Taeyong had been talking the entire time.

“—like you. So I wasn’t wrong, because that all played a part. And now here I am, with you, finally admitting it. Wow, future-me is going to hate me.”

You cursed to yourself. 

“Really?” you said, swallowing thickly and praying that it was a suitable reaction to whatever he’d been rambling on about.

“Yes! Really!” he reiterated, voice rising from a whisper to a murmur in excitement. It was at that moment that his head lifted and he shifted his weight so he could prop himself up on one arm. His other hand trailed to yours and began to play with your fingers, lifting one to stroke his thumb across the skin there, before scooping up another. His head hovered above your own, his silhouette just standing out in the dark of the night. “Y/N, kiss me.”

You choked, “W-what?”  

The tip of his nose brushed yours as he repeated with a coy grin, “Kiss. Me. Pretty please.”

Heart pumping at a rate abnormal even for you in the vicinity of the biggest crush you’ve ever had, your thoughts flurried while you tried to string together enough words to make a response, Is he serious? Oh god what if I do badly? Will he regret it? What did he said before? Of course, of all the things you had to miss it had to be that, didn’t it?

At last, with your hand in his, your fingers threading through the hair at his nape tentatively, you answered. 

“No.”

There was silence, even the rain had hushed into fine whispers.

“You don’t like me back?” Taeyong asked, voice back down to a whisper, barely audible despite the calm of the storm.

“No, Yong, I do, I really do,” you urged, before sighing once again, cupping his cheek with your palm and giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, “it’s just... you’re drunk. I don’t want you to regret anything, to regret kissing me for the first time... because this would be our first kiss, and alcohol always makes you let things slip.”

Taeyong’s shadow didn’t move, nor did he speak. The dread that seized your stomach crept up to your lungs and throat, leaving you without air for what felt like an eternity. Until, at last, he responded.

“See?” he said, leaning into your touch, “Always taking care of me.”

A smile rose beneath your palm before he fell away and settled back down on your chest. His embrace was stronger this time, his arm wrapped around you fully, his hand holding yours. Despite your negative answer, he didn’t seem discouraged, and if his grip was anything to go by, he felt secure. 

Still, you felt bad. His set-up had a cinematic feel to it, and waiting only meant more time lost. But you reminded yourself that you had all the time in the world, there was no limit for neither you nor him.

So as his breath evened at your neck, his foot slipping across to interlink your legs, you spoke up, “Kiss me tomorrow morning?” The day following the storm was always beautiful, wasn’t it?

He laughed softly, hair tickling your ear. “Yeah, that sounds like a much better idea.”

Breathing your final sigh of relief for the night, your turned your head so your chin could rest against his crown. “Goodnight, Yongie.”

“Goodnight, Angel.”

.

.

.

Replay?

~~~

an: i feel like im in a real writing funk rn. nothing feels like its any good. or genuine. or cute or anything. is it just me or is that actually true... idk anymore

also i actually wrote out what yong was saying that yn didnt pay attention to (so when i sliced it, it would sound more realistic) and i think its really cute and funny so i dont want it to be left unknown but also its so small so idk what to do with it

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

Masterlist

[sparklingskz]

long way home | yang jeongin

▸ genre: college au, fluff, a bit of angst

▸ description: jeongin and you walked to and from college together evey day, until one day when he didn’t show up.

▸ word count: 2.8k

▸ warnings: swearing

▸ a/n: some soft jeongin for ya ! also if i take longer in between posts im really sorry but finding time to write is hard these days:((( (ps. title by 5sos!!)

you (14:35): where are you i’m tired i want to go HOME

jeonginnie (14:36): wow CHILL i’m heading out now

you (14:36): okay (◕‿◕✿)

Putting your phone back in your pocket, you crossed your arms as you tried to catch sight of the blonde haired boy you were eagerly waiting for. People went in and out of the university doors chatting animatedly with each other, some of them sprawling on top of the grass that filled the gardens and others just heading quickly towards the streets that led away from campus. It was the end of the school day for a lot of people, including you, so the only thing you wanted to do at the moment was to get home, lay down on your bed and ignore all your responsibilities for a few hours.

Sadly, you wouldn’t be able to do that until Jeongin joined you at the entrance of your campus so you could walk home together. You see, the both of you had developed this tradition of some sort, where you would walk together to and from college every day.

It all had started when one day you walked out of campus only to find out that it was raining pretty badly and, due to your luck, you weren’t carrying an umbrella with you. Walking home was your only option, so you put on your hoodie and prepared yourself for the fact that you would get soaked head to toe. Trying to walk as fast as you can, you spotted someone who was walking in the same direction as you and that was protected under an umbrella, and you threw away every bit of shame you had and tried to catch their attention.

That person turned out to be Jeongin, who happily shared his umbrella with you after finding out that you lived very close to each other. He walked with you all the way to the door of your house, making sure that you didn’t get rained on more than you already had.

The next morning you happened to run into him again when walking towards your university, which led you to find out that he was also a student there. You stayed together the whole way there, chatting about random topics and ultimately deciding to also walk back home together after class, because it turns out that you had pretty similar schedules despite not being in the same classes.

After a while, this became your usual routine. Every morning you would wake up looking forward to spending that little amount of time with Jeongin, as you had bonded pretty quickly with the boy and his company was something that you found yourself enjoying. All his little mannerisms and quirks made you smile fondly, and conversations were something that just flowed between you two. You already knew so much about him and you had also shared many things about you during your time together, which in return made trusting him all the more easier.

Jeongin also insisted on the fact that he absolutely had to walk you all the way to your door, even though he then had to head back a little to take the route he used to get to his own house. He assured you that he wasn’t bothered by the extra distance he had to walk, so you stopped trying to convince him you were fine walking alone for a bit and just let him do it (in all honesty, it was cute).

Overall, you really appreciated the boy and his company, which is why your face lit up after catching sight of him practically sprinting out of the university doors and heading towards where you were waiting for him (while almost bumping into a bunch of people, but who cares).

“Hey,” he said before stopping right in front of you, placing his hand on his chest while trying to catch his breath. “Sorry for making you wait, I had to stay back and ask the professor something related to our next test. Ugh, I really need a break from everything,” he whined.

You sympathized with that. “Well, let’s get going, then. The further away we are from here the less we have to think about classes, tests and boring professors,” you affirmed while starting to walk in the direction of your house, Jeongin joining your side immediately.

You fell into an easy conversation right away, sharing details and stories about your day like you usually did. The walk home was a comfortable one, the both of you trying to make the other forget about the fact that you had to come back to university the following day.

The gloomy weather you had experienced the past days was thankfully replaced by the sensation of faint sun rays against your skin, a pleasant wind accompanying your walk home and sweeping back Jeongin’s hair, making him look like a prince you could find in one of those Disney movies.

It was hard to look away during the rest of the way home.

-

Jeongin was avoiding you.

You weren't really sure about why he was doing it, you just knew that for the most part of the last week there had been times he texted you to let you know that he had headed over to college earlier, or that he wasn't going to walk home with you that evening. It's not like you had signed a contract that said that you would walk towards your campus and then head home together every single day, but it was like this unspoken agreement you both just had, and Jeongin suddenly deciding to walk alone with no apparent reason was just odd.

One day, before you could recieve a text from Jeongin saying he was ditching you again, you spotted him right outside of campus talking to Kim Seungmin, who you knew was one of his closest friends. They didn't seem to be having a very serious conversation, so before you could think your actions through, you were heading over to where they were standing with a firm step.

Well, looks like you were about to confront Jeongin. To be honest, you just wanted to know if you had done something that could've maybe upset the boy, and you would try to get those answers even if Seungmin was standing right there.

When you got to where the two boys were standing, you watched as the both of them put a halt to their conversation and turned to look at you.

"Hi guys!" you said, earning a cheerful "Hi" from Seungmin accompanied by a small wave. Jeongin, on the other hand, looked at you with an expression that showed hints of the surprise he felt at the moment (probably due to the fact that you had approached them), and muttered a small "Hey".

You felt the tiniest bit of nervousness replacing your previous determined state, the lack of contact with the blonde haired boy probably taking a toll on you. "Um, Jeongin, are you busy now? Maybe we can walk back home together?" you asked.

Before Jeongin had a chance to reply, though, Seungmin jumped in to answer your question.

"Of course he will!" he exclaimed right as he placed his hand on the other boy's shoulder in an encouraging manner. "I've been stealing him so he could keep me company every day after class, so it's only fair that he goes with you now."

You watched as Jeongin turned to look at Seungmin with wide eyes, shock evident in his features. He looked like he was trying to convey something without using any words, but Seungmin didn't look fazed by his friend's reaction and just flashed an amused smile at him.

"Go!" He nugded Jeongin with his arm, prompting him to move towards you. 

Even if you felt confused by the whole exchange between them, you didn't say anything. Jeongin started heading in the direction that led to your houses, and you barely had time to wave Seungmin goodbye before going up to catch up with him.

A weird atmosphere surrounded you two, as if you had forgotten the way you guys interacted before this whole thing happened. This only sparked more confusion on your side, wondering why the boy flinched so bad when your hands accidentally brushed or why did he walk so fast, almost as if wanting to put some distance between you two.

This continued as you walked in complete silence for a few more minutes. You tought about how you desperately wanted to go back to the times where you guys would just crack jokes, talk about anything and everything and be comfortable around each other.

You'd only be able to do that if you found out what was wrong, though. And if he didn't initiate the conversation, you would have to be the one to do it.

"Hey, uh." You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, feeling him flinch a little bit because of the sudden sound of your voice. "I know things are weird between us right now, and I really want to know if I did anything that upset you… I’m sorry if I did, but I really hate being this distant from you.”

A tense silence followed your words as you awaited Jeongin’s response. You dared to glance over at the boy and could sense the way the gears of his mind were turning, and you could imagine him trying to pick the correct words to structure his answer. Or, he simply was trying to come up with a way to tell you he didn’t want to be your friend anymore, who knew at this point.

Whichever it was, you were nervous.

After what you felt was an eternity, you heard Jeongin release a heavy sigh before speaking. “You don’t have to apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

You were about to retaliate and ask him what was truly going on if you weren’t the one at fault, but he beat you to it and continued talking. “It’s just… Before everything happened I came to a few realizations about… us?” He sounded unsure of that last word. “And I just thought that it would be best if I didn’t act on it and just distance myself.”

Well shit.

You weren’t really sure about how to respond to that, if you were being honest. You knew that Jeongin wouldn’t do something like distance himself if he didn’t have a good enough reason to do it, so now you just wanted to know what that reason was. Maybe you could fix it?

“Can... Can I know what caused you to do that?”

Jeongin didn’t answer immediately, and the both of you just kept walking in silence. You didn’t really want to push him, but you also wanted answers.

The distance between you guys and the street where you usually parted ways was getting shorter, and that’s when suddenly Jeongin put a halt to his steps and turned to look at you.

“I like you, and I’m scared.”

Oh.

You stared at him in surprise; those were surely the words that you least expected to come out of his mouth.

“And... the last time I liked someone it didn’t go so well,” he continued. “I just really cherished what we had at the moment, and didn't want to ruin it with my overthinking and weird emotions. Losing you because you didn’t feel the same way was much scarier than distancing myself, but I guess I ended up messing things up anyways.”

Oh.

“You… Like me?” Those were the only words you managed to let out.

“Yeah,” he said shyly, a pink color dusting his cheeks. You would’ve noticed that it made him look way cuter than usual, but you were a little busy processing all this. “It’s just… I find it so easy to talk to you, I feel that you truly understand me and it makes me want to get even closer to you. So yeah, I like you.” After a little pause, he added. “It’s totally okay if you don’t feel the same way, I expected it anyways. We can act like this never happened, and pretend like I didn’t just embarrass myself in front of you.” He laughed a bit at this, but you could tell that he didn’t want that.

You didn’t want that either.

Come to think about it, Jeongin had become a very important person in your life pretty fast. And, going back to all your previous interactions, there was that underlying feeling of adoration towards the boy; the way you admired him when he wasn’t looking, the eagerness to meet him every single day, the way you just wanted to hear him talk forever… And you could go on.

Holy shit, maybe you did like him too.

In the midst of your epiphany, you noticed that Jeongin was about to continue walking, but you stopped him by grabbing his arm before he could go too far.

“Wait.” You watched as a confused expression took over his features, and you quickly wanted to wipe it away so you just released a deep breath and spoke. “I… I feel the same way, Jeongin.”

His expression morphed into a shocked one. “Really? You’re not joking?” he quickly asked, searching your face for any ounce of doubt.

You shook your head. “You’re amazing, Jeongin, how could I not?” You shot him a reassuring smile, your hand dropping down to firmly grasp his.

The way his lips curled up and how he broke out into a wide smile would be forever imprinted in your memory.

“I… Wow.” He looked down at your hands, before bringing his gaze up to your face again. His actions made you giggle, which instantly transformed the previously tense atmosphere into a relaxed and happy one.

“You could’ve just told me and avoid having to ditch me for Seungmin every single day,” you teased him.

“Hey, he was the one who actually helped me figure everything out. He was pestering me by saying that I should stop ignoring you and confess, but I was too scared to do it.” He shrugged, while the both of you went back to walking alongside each other.

“Well, I’m glad you ended up doing it, even if Seungmin was the one to give you that little push.”

“Yeah, I guess I’ll have to credit him for that.”

The silence that surrounded you was comfortable, the prospect of new experiences and emotions looming in the background of your mind. Having Jeongin by your side again felt amazing.

In all honesty, few things had actually changed; just the fact that your hands were now intertwined, the unusual shyness that you felt when your gazes met or that instead of your usual parting, Jeongin gave you a quick peck on the cheek before zooming away from your front door, which left you giggling as you went inside your house.

You wouldn’t mind getting used to all those changes.

-

you (16:22): where are yOU

jeonginnie <3 (16:23): professor hasn't dismissed the class yet :( gimme a few minutes

you (16:23): I’m waiting for you right next to the gates, I have food !!

jeonginnie <3 (16:24): have I told you you’re the best

you (16:24): you may have mentioned it a couple of times huh

jeonginnie <3 (16:25): well you are

jeonginnie <3 (16:27): I’m heading out now!!

You softly smiled as you put your phone in the back pocket of your jeans, careful not to drop the takeout bag that was hanging from your other hand. You looked up and tried to spot your boyfriend from between the groups of college students hanging out on the entrance, searching for that distinct splash of blonde hair that made catching sight of him all that much easier.

All of a sudden, you jumped as you felt a pair of arms wrap around your middle, but instantly relaxed when you heard Jeongin’s voice right next to you.

“Hey, sorry for leaving you waiting.” You turned around and giggled at the pout on his face, and leaned forward to peck his lips.

“Don’t worry! Now let’s get going so we can eat, I’m starving.”

Your hands quickly found each other and intertwined themselves, the both of you swinging them back and forth as you started heading in the direction of your houses.

You had walked along that exact same route countless times, but with Jeongin by your side it never felt the same. One day you would talk about a cute dog that crossed your path, other time you would have to cover yourselves due to the rain, or maybe your tiredness didn’t leave much room to talk and you would just stroll alongside each other in a comfortable silence.

Whichever it was that day, you were glad that it was with him.

[prorevenge]

You picked on the wrong underdog, guy.

A few years ago, I was working in a job I really enjoyed with a team I really gelled well with. There were about five of us working on the same portfolio of projects in different roles, and every single team member was just cream-of-the-crop, incredibly good at what they do. I can't overemphasize how satisfying it was to work with such an incredibly competent, likable group of people. In this job, instead of getting the Sunday night blues, I would get excited thinking about the work I would be doing the next day and planning how we would solve the complex problems together. It was like a series of logic puzzles. (Yes, I realize I'm a huge nerd. I promise I also had a life outside of work.)

The one downside (there's always a downside) to this job was Steve. Steve was not in the supervisory line for me or any of my team members, but he was about three levels above us and very senior. He'd been there for years and was tight with senior leadership. Steve was also a mega-creep. He said extremely inappropriate things to young women in the office, and he apparently wasn't averse to being handsy, though as far as anyone knew, that was as bad as it had gotten. The women in the office all knew to steer clear of him. My first week on the job, the whisper network made sure I knew: never be alone with Steve. Sexual harassment is difficult to document, and no one wanted to risk their career and put a target on their back going after a big guy like Steve, so he just got away with it for years.

So for a couple of years, I followed this advice. There were a few instances of Steve saying incredibly uncomfortable things to me in passing, but for the most part, I managed to avoid him. Then I found out that my teammate Rob had gotten on Steve's radar. For context, Rob is non-neurotypical and has some minor tic-ish behavior. He's also shy and easily spirals into social anxiety when put in uncomfortable situations.

So one evening at our team's informal weekly happy hour after work, Rob lets it slip that Steve's been giving him a hard time. The rest of us are like, "whoa, wait, what?" because Steve never interacts with staff at our level, except to creep on women, and we basically make Rob tell us everything.

Basically for the last few weeks, Steve has been bullying Rob, making fun of his tics, and mimicking his way of speaking back to him. He's also been asking Rob how he can possibly be competent to do his job and implying he's a pity hire. Once he called him a "retard." It's clear Steve is seeking out Rob for this, because, again, there's really no reason for him to interact with our team. Rob has been having horrible anxiety over this situation, and has had bad insomnia and stomach issues since Steve started targeting him. And not that it bears repeating, but just to reiterate, Rob is a fucking beast at his job. And a genuinely good guy.

At this point, I'm seeing red. (We all were.) We tell Rob to go to HR, that his neurological issues put him in a protected ADA class, that he could get Steve in big trouble. Rob panics and says he can't do that, begs us not to tell anyone at work, and says he wishes he hadn't said anything. We assure him we won't say anything if that's what he wants, but we're all very distressed.

I leave the bar fuming just thinking, OK, that's it. Fuck you, Steve. You're going down.

I can't tell anyone about what's happening to Rob, because I promised him as much, so I start my own paper trail. I start baiting Steve. And I don't mean I behave in any suggestive manner or lead him on: I just stop avoiding him, and I even initiate contact myself.

I IM him through the company's IM system very professionally/politely asking if a big client will be staying on through the next project cycle, and the floodgates open. He starts sending me outrageously sexual IMs. I mostly don't respond, but I occasionally keep him going by sending extremely literal responses to his innuendo-laden questions or pretending not to understand something suggestive he's saying. Sometimes when he clarifies, I'll outright say, "This isn't appropriate" or "this is making me uncomfortable," or "please don't say things like that, Steve," but he steamrolls right over me. During this time, I've also been seeing him more in person around the office, and he often says gross stuff to me in person as well, a lot of it not just inappropriate, but bizarre and nonsensical ("Is it legal to have an ass like that in that skirt?" Lolwut?) Every time this happens, I immediately go back to my desk and write down what he said, the date and time, and the names of any witnesses.

After about a month and change of this, I compile my creep journal with printouts of the IM conversations and take them to my HR rep. I ask to file a sexual harassment complaint against Steve. As soon as the words "sexual harassment" leave my mouth, my rep instantly gets the head of HR and two other reps, and they go through my evidence with me, and ask me a ton of questions. The head of HR assures me they'll take my complaints very seriously, and asks if I know of any women around the office who have had similar issues with Steve. I'm able to give them several names.

They send me on my way, and two weeks later, my rep formally reaches out to me and lets me know Steve has been let go. Much jubilation is had around the office!

It took a couple of months for me to piece together the whole story, but basically after my complaint, HR started following up with the names I gave them, both the witnesses to my in-person encounters with Steve, and the other women he'd harassed. They corroborated what I'd told HR, and then through them, word started spreading around the office that HR was conducting a sexual harassment investigation against Steve. This emboldened at least 15 different women who'd been biting their tongues about Steve for ages to come forward and tell their own Steve stories. The worst story was from a junior staff member who Steve had sexually assaulted at a company party the year prior. :-(

During all of this, IT had been asked to go through Steve's emails and IMs, and this had not only been used to validate my print outs as legitimate, but IT had found a ton of additional incriminating stuff in Steve's correspondences.

Somewhat frustrating: Steve received an extremely generous severance package as part of his termination. But on the bright side, word got around the industry quickly, and Steve was poison at that point. No company would touch him with a 10-foot pole. The last time I thought to snoop on his public social media pages, he was listing himself as an "independent consultant" in our industry, which I seriously doubt he's actually doing, and based on his public Facebook page, he's doing a couple of MLMs, so that should kill off whatever savings he has in short order.

I don't work with Rob anymore, but I did recently attend his wedding! He's extremely happy with his new wife (who is a sweet and lovely woman) and he's doing really well in his career.

TL;DR: Powerful corporate suit picks on my awesome coworker. I transform into a goddess of fury and end his career by exposing him for what he is.

(source) (story by Quixxlez)

[hazeldough]

i........ have a lot of feelings about tpodg with the announcement of the film adaption

disclaimer: i’m not mlm, so i can’t speak about that part of its narrative in place of mlm. plus, the film adaption was only recently announced and we don’t really have any details on it except that it exists and is set to have female leads. 

and while i’ve done my share of analysis on the book and some of wilde’s history and really passionate about both, there’s a lot i dont know yet or may be misinterpreting. my opinions and pov about tpodg and oscar wilde are subject to change the more i analyze the book and read about wilde’s life through his writings and the transcripts of his trials, so i’m open to reading other people’s opinion on the novel and film!

also, i got carried away and even busted out the copy i annotated in, so this got super lengthy. it’s mostly me reanalyzing the book after stepping away from it for a few months. 

oh, and spoilers ahead.

(i spent about 2 hours on this and it’s 4:27 am now.......... im already yelling @ a future me who is procrastinating on an essay, looking back at this moment thinking “hey, i wish u could put some of that focus and research into this thing right now” and hey......... hard same, buddy)

anyway.

 i just want the film adaption to not lose the essential themes and messages that come with tpodg and the weight it carried in wilde’s life.

it’s already not the best lgbt rep with its leads being assholes (dorian & henry) or (spoilers) ending up dead (basil). granted, the victorian era wasn’t the best time to make revolutionary strides in normalizing lgbt+ media, but it still was a novel that was written by a gay man that time period, drawing from his own experiences. 

wilde’s works primarily criticized english culture and society’s tendencies to put up a front for the public to save face for their personal lives. 

“My dear fellow, you forget that we are in the native land of the hypocrite.“

“Dorian,“ cried Hallward, “that is not the question. England is bad enough I know, and English society is all wrong. That is the reason why I want you to be fine. You have not been fine.“

Dorian & Basil (Chapter XII)

tpodg was no exception since it featured a lead who was groomed to believing that the downfall of others was the ultimate symbol of his love towards him and was eventually able to abuse/manipulate people on the regular through his charisma and get away with it because of his privileges. 

“Someone has killed herself for love of you. I wish that I had ever had such and experience. It would have made me in love for the rest of my life.“ (Lord Henry Wotton, Chapter VIII)

and it’s not like no one was aware that dorian had major red flags around him. because they did.

“Women who had wildly adored him, and for his sake had braved all social censure and set convention at defiance, were seen to grow pallid with shame or horror if Dorian Gray entered the room.“ (Chapter XI)

“Why is it, Dorian, that a man like the Duke of Berwick leaves the room of a club when you enter it? Why is it that so many gentlemen in London will neither go to your home nor invite you to theirs?... Why is your friendship so fatal to young men? There was that wretched boy in the Guards who committed suicide. You were his great friend.“ (Basil Hallward, Chapter XII)

(that whole paragraph is just basil talking about how men are afraid to be associated with dorian, there’s way more stuff, but i felt that info was enough)

even though there were consistent and frequent rumors that surrounded him. no one believed that this cherub looking guy was the reason that everyone who interacted with him either had their reputation ruined for life or were driven to suicide. 

(spoilers) basil wasn’t an exception to this, not believing that all the rumors surrounding his friend, muse, and for a lack of better term crush were true. he was so blinded by his love that dorian was capable of bringing on ruin ultimately led to his death. 

“But you, Doian, with your pure, bright, innocent face, and your marvellous untroubled youth-- I can’t believe anything against you.“ (Basil Hallward, Chapter XII)

even dorian’s motives in murdering basil was a result of his own misattributions. instead of taking ownership of his own behavior, he placed blame on basil and his portrait instead.

“The friend who had painted the fatal portrait to which all his misery had been due, had gone out of his life.“ (Chapter XIII)

and when dorian was close to confessing what he had done to his confidant, the person arguably more responsible than basil for leading him to his lifestyle? he didn’t believe dorian either.

"What would you say, Harry, if I told you that I had murdered Basil?”

(...)

“I would say, my dear fellow that you were posing for a character that doesn’t suit you. All crime is vulgar, just as  all vulgarity is a crime. It is not in you, Dorian, to commit a murder. I am sorry if I hurt your vanity by saying so, but I assure you it is true. Crime belongs exclusively to the lower orders. I don’t blame them in the smallest degree. I should fancy that crime was to them what art is to us, simply a method of procuring extraordinary sensations.“

(Dorian & Lord Henry, Chapter XIX)

after stepping away from the book for a few months, i feel like some reevaluation is due. i initially approached the book thinking that it would end up with an ambiguously happy ending, having only heard slivers about it and knowing that it was written by a gay man. i guess the part of me that’s very invested in good redemption arcs and lgbt books in ap eng lit just wanted a book to read that didn’t feature weak character development and/or heteronormative relationships. the closest books i got were their eyes, atss, and tpodg.

but now that i’m looking back at it, most likely unpopular opinion: i personally think that tpodg isn’t a lgbt story. (even if it was, it’s not the best representation for lgbt characters since it has a lot of tropes that we now see as overused and negative) 

to me, it’s just a story that has lgbt characters. meaning that while the novel focused on dorian, it focused on his morality, not his sexuality. dorian knew who he liked, since it was heavily implied that dorian had male and female lovers. the story wasn’t focused on his romantic or sexual relationships, but on how his morals took a nose dive as he developed into a grade-A fuck boy using his multiple failed relationships as evidence of that.

i’ve come to understand that character development doesn’t always mean getting a redemption arc. good character development is a character starting from point A and actively moving towards point B with minor interference by other characters. most of the time, it’s a character going from morally neutral/bad to good. this time, it’s a character going from neutral to bad.

i do agree that there’s a huge imbalance of lgbt characters being portrayed as predatory and abusive instead of flawed and needing of development, adding on to preexisting homophobia that’s rampant in most cultures. i also agree that there needs to be more positive representation of lgbt characters, by lgbt people, for lgbt people. 

at the same time, tpodg was written before we could even safely discuss and address these issues in public. i’m saying that because wilde got straight up jailed for “gross indecency” for just being a gay man existing. but i don’t think wilde was unaware of the repercussions he’d face when he stated that being gay was normal. most of his works were about calling out the hypocrisy of english society. even in his own testimony at trial, he stated:

"The Love that dare not speak its name" in this century is such a great affection of an elder for a younger man as there was between David and Jonathan, such as Plato made the very basis of his philosophy, and such as you find in the sonnets of Michelangelo and Shakespeare. It is that deep, spiritual affection that is as pure as it is perfect. It dictates and pervades great works of art like those of Shakespeare and Michelangelo, and those two letters of mine, such as they are.”

full quote and transcript found here

wilde was fully aware that he was going to be imprisoned for being gay and accepted it. not because he was ignorant of how society functioned, but because he knew how it functioned. and he was right. and i want to say that he was aware of this even when he was writing tpodg (which was about 4-5 years before his trials took place).

even if tpodg was going to be portrayed with male leads, the film would be in an era with a new perspective about mlm relationships. homophobia is still rampant in multiple societies, but lgbt people and mlm in particular have more of a voice and agency to defend themselves, look for, and create media that is representative of their experiences without needing to pander to heterosexual audiences. it still isn’t perfect, knowing that mlm still have trouble telling their stories in a field dominated by straight women who only see to use them as objects for fetishization instead of helping them create a safe platform to be heard.

basically, wilde’s context for writing tpodg is drastically different from how it can be interpreted and discussed today vs how it was in his time. based on that, i’m inferring that if writing a negative, heavily implied mlm relationship was deemed criminal enough as it is, i imagine he would have faced even more horrible punishment for writing a positive relationship between two men.

at the moment, we know nothing about the direction the film is going to follow, other than that it’ll be female-led. and, judging from the recent string of female led films (ghostbusters & oceans eight), i’m going to safely assume it’ll be a dominantly female cast, with dorian, basil, and henry being portrayed by women, and them all being wlw. (there’s a better word to describe this, it starts with a p, but it’s 4 AM now and i’m losing steam)

i’m not saying that the movie is going to be free from homophobic comments, but i am saying that it’ll face more criticism for not accurately portraying SGA (same gender attraction) relationship more than it featuring a SGA relationship at all.

even with the lack of information, i feel like if i’m going to be consistent about an opinion it’s this: the any adaption can do is to keep elements of the book while being cognisant of its perspective and purpose.

at the same time, i do want the film to deviate from the novel by being more open about the leads’ sexuality while also addressing the tropes that’s present in the society its set in and how it affects the narrative. 

to me, the film doesnt have to be a carbon copy of the novel, it just has to have the same vibe the book gave and to do that, it has to be aware of the issues wlw face in society today but also integrate it into the victorian era setting.

...yes, i know it sounds really confusing but i’ve spent around 2 hours on this already and it’s currently 4:24 AM. i’m doing my best my sleep deprived and coffee fueled brain can do atm. but again, i’m open to discuss this when i’m more put together and see more perspectives on the film adaption.

i am aware that there might not be enough elbow room for that to happen since society’s still pretty homophobic (albeit, not as much as before) as well as time constraints that come with adapting a book to a movie. still though, it’s something i’m interested to see be executed properly.