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transition-with-the-torah · 2 months

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Title: When Bad Things Happen To Good People

Author: Harold Kushner

Format / Cost: Ebook (free via Libby). The version I had access to was copyrighted in 1981. The introduction and Chapters 1 and 7 include the use of the r-word to refer to people with intellectual and developmental disabilities, and Chapters 4 and 6 use cripple/cripples to refer to physically disabled people (additional chapters may also use crippled instead of disabled). It's not a malicious use of these words, but for people who skip past the copyright info and are not already aware of when this book was published, it may be a bit jarring to suddenly see this choice of words.

Overall, I can see why a lot of to-read lists include this book. Some people may appreciate considering why there's suffering in the world generally, but this is very much coming from a perspective that's more theistic and ultimately thinks that God and/or religion can still be a source of comfort, especially if interacting with some sort of community. (Kushner's a rabbi. The God/religion/community thing shouldn't be too surprising, nor should the Jewish examples like sitting shiva.)

Basically, the idea put forward is that God is not all-powerful, which may be kinda scary to think about for some. There can be bad luck and randomness in the universe, natural laws of this world aren't going to be miraculously altered, bad things can happen because of humans having the moral free will to do so, and the conceptualization of God as a parent who will punish us in order to teach us a lesson can bring about more blame, guilt, shame, and alienation from whatever comfort God/religion/community could provide than ultimately do most people good. More or less. But I think 'God is all-loving but not all-powerful' sums it up.

(This has been tagged with #reviews for personal blog organization purposes and may not be considered a full or satisfying review for anyone else. Some quotes are below the read-more.)

Chapter 1: Why Do the Righteous Suffer?

To ask "Why do the righteous suffer?" or "Why do bad things happen to good people?" is not to limit our concern to the martyrdom of saints and sages, but to try to understand why ordinary people—ourselves and people around us—should have to bear extraordinary burdens of grief and pain.

One of the ways in which people have tried to make sense of the world's suffering in every generation has been by assuming that we deserve what we get, that somehow our misfortunes comes as punishment for our sins [...] This is an attitude we will meet later in the book when we discuss the whole question of guilt. It is tempting at one level to believe that bad things happen to people (especially other people) because God is a righteous judge who gives them exactly what they deserve. By believing that, we keep the world orderly and understandable. We give people the best possible reason for being good and for avoiding sin. And by believing that, we can maintain an image of God as all-loving, all-powerful, and totally in control.

Sometimes we try to make sense of life's trials by saying that people do in fact get what they deserve, but only over the course of time. At any given moment, life may seem unfair and innocent people may appear to be suffering. But if we wait long enough, we believe, we will see the righteousness of God's plan emerge.

I can't say I recognized Psalm 92 as an example of this coping mechanism, but it isn't just anecdotes about families in his congregation that are providing examples.

Often, victims of misfortune try to console themselves with the idea that God has His reasons for making this happen to them, reasons that they are in no position to judge.

See also: 'The Lord works in mysterious ways'.

Let us now consider another question: Can suffering be educational? Can it cure us of our faults and make us better people? Sometimes religious people who would like to believe that God has good reasons for making us suffer, try to imagine what those reasons might be. In the words of one of the great Orthodox Jewish thinkers of our time, Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik, "Suffering comes to ennoble man, to purge his thoughts of pride and superficiality, to expand his horizons. In sum, the purpose of suffering is to repair that which is faulty in a man's personality."

I think quite a few people nowadays would push back on the example of a parent spanking a child to teach them a lesson, but ultimately, the analogy of God in a parental role can still be parsed. Kushner pushes back on this educational idea by pointing out that a parent disciplining a child without making it clear what fault needs to be changed is more just randomly punishing the child, and it can be just as unhelpful to try to make the educational aspect be for the surrounding people.

If God is testing us, He must know by now that many of us fail the test. If He is only giving us burdens we can bear, I have seen Him miscalculate far too often.

In the last few years, I've run into a meme that's along the lines of: God sends [fill in the blank] to His strongest soldiers. I'm more used to it be used in a light-hearted manner, but I must admit that it feels less light-hearted to have a bit more background on where that was likely coming from [Abraham was being given a test in being asked to sacrifice his son Isaac].

When all else fails, some people try to explain suffering by believing that it comes to liberate us from a world of pain and lead us to a better place.

On the one hand, I'm reminded of earlier reading where there were explanations of how the World To Come even became a thought in Jewish thinking (and how it was a reaction to Roman persecution), so this can sometimes make sense for some people. On the other hand, yeah: "since we cannot know for sure, we would be well advised to take this world as seriously as we can, in case it turns out to be the only one we will ever have, and to look for meaning and justice here."

This chapter ends with the proposition that God may not actually be the source of suffering – "Could it be that 'How could God do this to me?' is really the wrong question for us to ask?" – and sets up the exploration of the Book of Job in the next chapter.

Chapter 2: The Story of a Man Named Job

A long, long time ago, scholars believe, there must have been a well-known folk story, a kind of morality fable told to reinforce people's religious sentiments, about a pious man named Job. Job was so good, so perfect, that you realize at once that you are not reading about a real-life person. This is a "once-upon-a-time" story about a good man who suffered. [...] At the end, God appears, scolds the friends for their advice [to give up his piety], and rewards Job for his faithfulness. [...] [Our anonymous author] was so upset with this pious old fable that he took it, turned it inside out, and recast it as a philosophical poem in which the characters' positions are reversed. In the poem, Job does complain against God, and now it is the friends who uphold the conventional theology, the idea that "no ills befall the righteous."

I'm not going to give a play-by-play, but Job's friends don't want to have to give up on the idea that God is all-powerful, just, and fair, so they're willing to give up on the idea that Job is a good person. Job, with the firm self-knowledge that he's not any worse than others, is more willing to give up the idea that God is good. Instead, God is "above notions of fairness, being so powerful that no moral rules apply to Him" (and more similar to an insecure, ancient king in the fable who rewards people for their loyalty instead of their goodness).

Let me suggest that the author of the Book of Job takes the position which neither Job nor his friends take. He believes in God's goodness and in Job's goodness, and is prepared to give up his belief in proposition (A): that God is all-powerful.

This includes the part of God's speech about having trouble capturing a sea serpent in a net, which would not be unreasonably interpreted as a deity having trouble capturing disorder and chaos (with parallels or similarities to some other mythology of that time/place).

Our misfortunes are none of His doing, and so we can turn to Him for help. Our question will not be Job's question "God, why are You doing this to me?" but rather "God, see what is happening to me. Can you help me?" We will turn to God, not to be judged or forgiven, not to be rewarded or punished, but to be strengthened and comforted.

I didn't pull out the specific quote from Chapter 1, but one of the potential drawbacks of seeing God as the source of suffering is that some people [who would otherwise like to get comfort from God via prayer] don't feel like they can, or are allowed, to seek that type of help from God if God is trying to teach them a lesson, punish them, test them, etc.

Chapter 3: Sometimes There Is No Reason

This is perhaps the philosophical idea which is the key to everything else I am suggesting in this book. Can you accept the idea that some things happen for no reason, that there is randomness in the universe? Some people cannot handle that idea. They look for connections, striving desperately to make sense of all that happens. They convince themselves that God is cruel, or that they are sinners, rather than accept randomness. Sometimes, when they have made sense of ninety percent of everything they know, they let themselves assume that the other ten percent makes sense also, but lies beyond the reach of their understanding. But why do we have to insist on everything being reasonable? Why must everything happen for a specific reason? Why can't we let the universe have a few rough edges?

There several examples (who lives during a mass shooting, which homes burn in a wildfire, etc.) but the refusal on Kushner's part to accept God having a reason for Martin Luther King Jr dying when he did has an evocative line: "Why can't we acknowledge that the assassination was an affront to God, even as it was to us, and a sidetracking of His purposes, rather than strain our imaginations to find evidence of God's fingerprints on the murder weapon?"

Rather than strain our imaginations to find evidence of God's fingerprints on the murder weapon. (That's the type of phrase you underline or circle in a book.)

Suppose that Creation, the process of replacing chaos with order, were still going on. What would that mean? In the biblical metaphor of the six days of Creation, we would find ourselves somewhere in the middle of Friday afternoon. Man was just created a few "hours" ago. The world is mostly an orderly, predictable place, showing ample evidence of God's thoroughness and handiwork, but pockets of chaos remain. Most of the time, the events of the universe follow firm natural laws. But every now and then, things happen not contrary to those laws of nature but outside them. Things happen which could just as easily have happened differently.

This isn't the sort of idea that's supposed to be a definite answer for everyone. It's more of a way to accept that randomness is a possibility, and Kushner uses an example of where hurricanes ultimately wind up making landfall. (He also pushes back on some purported beliefs that earthquakes are a punishment from God for the "alleged homosexual excesses of San Francisco" and such sinful judgments. Post-2005, I remember someone used to use the example of Hurricane Katrina being a punishment for America for progress on gay rights.)

Or it may be that God finished His work of creating eons ago, and left the rest to us. Residual chaos, chance and mischance, things happening for no reason, will continue to be with us, the kind of evil that Milton Steinberg has called "the still unremoved scaffolding of the edifice of God's creativity." In that case, we will simply have to learn to live with it, sustained and comforted by the knowledge that the earthquake and the accident, like the murder and the robbery, are not the will of God, but represent that aspect of reality which stands independent of His will, and which angers and saddens God even as it angers and saddens us.

Chapter 4: No Exceptions for Nice People

Laws of nature treat everyone alike. They do not make exceptions for good people or for useful people. If a man enters a house where someone has a contagious disease, he runs the risk of catching that disease. It makes no difference why he is in the house. He may be a doctor or a burglar; disease germs cannot tell the difference. [...] Laws of nature do not make exceptions for nice people. A bullet has no conscience; neither does a malignant tumor or automobile gone out of control. That is why good people get sick and get hurt as much as anyone. No matter what stories we were taught about Daniel or Jonah in Sunday school, God does not reach down to interrupt the workings of laws of nature to protect the righteous from harm. [...] Would this be a better world, if certain people were immune to laws of nature because God favored them, while the rest of us had to fend for ourselves?

Kushner pushes back a bit on acts of nature being called 'acts of God' by insurance companies, and then he transitions from 'Why do good and bad people experience XYZ?' to 'Why do people in general have to feel pain, get sick, or die?' as a line of thinking. Pain is important for taking care of our bodies (to prevent worse injuries, say) even if we can't always imbue the pain with meaning and significance. Getting sick is more presented as cause-and-effect and us gradually learning more about how humans get sick, though it'd be nice to not have that fatphobic example. (Eugenics is also a bad idea even if certain illnesses have a genetic source.) Death is presented as a species benefit from looking at drawbacks of fictional immortality with a clear acknowledgment that this perspective doesn't provide comfort to individuals dealing with death or grief.

Chapter 5: God Leaves Us Room to Be Human

There's this whole thing with how humans were created as part animal, part not-animal [in the image of God]. Eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil presents a differentiation from animals just living based on pure instinct. I can see how this is getting to Kushner's point that a certain amount of bad things happen because humans have moral freedom and the free will to choose to do bad things, but I also feel like I'm not entirely convinced by some of the specific examples being used to get to that point. (This is probably a difference in approaches to animal intelligence and social capabilities in 2024 versus 1981.)

In order to let us be free, in order to let us be human, God has to leave us free to choose to do right or to do wrong. If we are not free to choose evil, then we are not free to choose good either. Like the animals, we can only be convenient or inconvenient, obedient or disobedient. We can no longer be moral, which means we can no longer be human. [...] Our moral freedom means that, if we choose to be selfish or dishonest, we can be selfish and dishonest, and God will not stop us. If we want to take something that does not belong to us, God will not reach down and pull our hand away from the cookie jar. If we want to hurt someone, God will not intervene to keep us from doing that. All He will do is tell us that certain things are wrong, warn us that we will be sorry for having done them, and hope that, if we don't take His word for it, we will at least learn from experience.

There are small scale examples that support this idea, but Kushner does include the Holocaust as a bad thing that happened due to humanity's moral freedom instead of a specific plan on God's part.

Chapter 6: God Helps Those Who Stop Hurting Themselves

One of the worst things that happens to a person who has been hurt by life is that he tends to compound the damage by hurting himself a second time. Not only is he the victim of rejection, bereavement, injury, or bad luck; he often feels the need to see himself as a bad person who had this coming to him, and because of that drive away people who try to come close to him and help him. Too often, in our pain and confusion, we instinctively do the wrong thing. We don't feel we deserve to be helped, so we let guilt, anger, jealousy, and self-imposed loneliness make a bad situation even worse.

There's a section that calls back to the chapter on Job, but it also broadly covers guilt and blame. We can accidentally affirm someone's feelings of guilt, we can carry baggage about deserving blame for bad things into a present situation, and sometimes we actually should feel guilty (the anecdote used was someone who had cheated on his wife with his secretary). There's also a section on talking about death with teenagers and children, including some care with 'stock phrases' that can accidentally affirm guilt or blame.

There's a sliding scale of truly understanding what death means for children – whole books are devoted to explaining death to youngsters, so this section won't handle everything – but one should definitely be mindful of young children blaming themselves or thinking a death was punishment for something that happened recently. Odds are that a teen trying to increase their independence from their parents will feel some amount of annoyance with them, want them to go away, or otherwise not be a perfect example of gratefulness or communication, and one should try not to imply that these relatively normal teenage things are to blame for a parent dying [the anecdote featured a teen whose mother died from cancer].

Anger isn't uncommon in the grieving process. Sometimes a situation will have a very clear cut person to be angry at, but other times, there's so much anger that it can get a bit misdirected. I'm not certain that I'm sold on the idea that depression is anger turned inwards, but I suppose it's sometimes that way, maybe moreso in specific grief and self-blame examples. Unsurprisingly, some people will be angry at God, but Kushner holds that it's better to be angry at the situation and leave room for some sort of religious comfort.

Actually, being angry at God won't hurt God, and neither will it provoke Him to take measures against us. If it makes us feel better to vent our anger at Him over a painful situation, we are free to do it.

I don't know if some psychologists actually do trace the origins of jealousy to sibling rivalry, but jealousy is also an unavoidable feeling when dealing with overcoming hard situations.

The afflicted person is not looking for an invitation to join the Suffering Olympics. But it would help if we remembered this: Anguish and heart-break may not be distributed evenly throughout the world, but they are distributed very widely. Everyone gets his share. If we knew the facts, we would very rarely find someone whose life was to be envied.

Chapter 7: God Can't Do Everything, But He Can Do Some Important Things

If we believe in God, but we do not hold God responsible for life's tragedies, if we believe that God wants justice and fairness but cannot always arrange for them, what are we doing when we pray to God for a favorable outcome to a crisis in our life?

There are certain types of prayer that are considered ineffective, and one shouldn't expect God to be able to answer them: When an event has already happened and we don't know the outcome yet, we shouldn't ask God to "go back and rewrite the past" for us. God cannot change the laws of nature for our benefit. We shouldn't pray for harm for someone else, and we shouldn't pray for God to do something we have the resources to do and are capable of doing.

This doesn't mean that there's nothing to even bother praying for, but the point of prayer (and religion in general) is community. You sit shiva, eat the meal of replenishment (se'udat havra'ah) after returning from the cemetery, and attend services to recite the Mourners' Kaddish because it's a means of accessing community.

One goes to a religious service, one recites the traditional prayers, not in order to find God (there are plenty of other places where He can be found), but to find a congregation, to find people with whom you can share that which means the most to you. From that point of view, just being able to pray helps, whether your prayer changes the world outside you or not.

Kushner contrasts two prayers said by Jacob at two points in his life. When he first leaves his home as a young man, he does the typical 'whatever you want, I'll do it' sort of barter. After building a family and 20 years going by, when he is going to return to his childhood home, he acknowledges that he's afraid and does more of a 'can't do this alone' sort of prayer.

The God I believe in does not send us the problem; He gives us the strength to cope with the problem. [...] One of the things that constantly reassures me that God is real, and not just an idea that religious leaders made up, is the fact that people who pray for strength, hope, and courage so often find resources of strength, hope, and courage that they did not have before they prayed.

Chapter 8: What Good, Then, Is Religion?

A book telling people how much I hurt would not do anyone any good. This had to be a book that would affirm life. It would have to say that no one ever promised us a life free from pain and disappointment. The most anyone promised us was that we would not be alone in our pain, and that we would be able to draw upon a source outside ourselves for the strength and courage we would need to survive life's tragedies and life's unfairness.

Posts about martyrdom and the Air Force member who killed himself have been circling back around on my dash, though it's no longer a recent news story, and it feels important that this book is trying to affirm life.

Let me suggest that the bad things that happen to us in our lives do not have a meaning when they happen to us. They do not happen for any good reason which would cause us to accept them willingly. But we can give them a meaning. We can redeem these tragedies from senselessness by imposing meaning on them. The question we should be asking is not, "Why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?" That is really an unanswerable, pointless question. A better question would be "Now that this has happened to me, what am I going to do about it?"

It kind of reminds me of some radical acceptance posts I've seen – I think from a chronically ill person doing DBT – about figuring out how to live with chronic illness and disability post-diagnosis.

God, who neither causes nor prevents tragedies, helps by inspiring people to help. As a nineteenth-century Hasidic rabbi once put it, "human beings are God's language."

Examples touched upon are people who help in natural disasters, people who research diseases (like cancer), people who become doctors and nurses, and people who reach out to your family when living with a diagnosis (not in big, immediate ways, but in treating you and your family like fellow neighbors and friends in the small ways, even years on).

Is there an answer to the question of why bad things happen to good people? That depends on what we mean by "answer." If we mean "Is there an explanation which will make sense of it all?"—Why is there cancer in the world? Why did my father get cancer? Why did the plane crash? Why did my child die?—then there is probably no satisfying answer. We can offer learned explanations, but in the end, when we have covered all the squares on the game board and are feeling very proud of our cleverness, the pain and the anguish and the sense of unfairness will still be there. But the word "answer" can mean "response" as well as "explanation," and in that sense, there may well be a satisfying answer to the tragedies in our lives. The response would be Job's response in MacLeish's version of the biblical story—to forgive the world for not being perfect, to forgive God for not making a better world, to reach out to the people around us, and to go on living despite it all.

A previous section covered Archibald MacLeish's play J.B., which is a modern retelling of Job's story. J.B. loses his children and house in a nuclear event, the comforters have been modernized a bit (such as a Marxist saying that J.B. had the bad luck to be a capitalist during capitalism's decline), and J.B. ultimately begins a new life with his wife (the possibility to have future children replaces God restoring all that Job lost).

Are you capable of forgiving and loving God even when you have found out that He is not perfect, even when He has let you down and disappointed you by permitting bad luck and sickness and cruelty in His world, and permitting some of those things to happen to you? Can you learn to love and forgive Him despite His limitations, as Job does, and as you once learned to forgive and love your parents even though they were not as wise, as strong, or as perfect as you needed them to be?

This is from the ending where the question of why bad things happen is turned into questions of how we respond to the bad thing and go forward. I pulled this particular section out because it feels like an apt way to round out a chapter based on figuring out how to respond to religion in a broad sense in the wake of all these other chapters.

#books #reviews

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katherine-villyard · 7 months

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What is the Meaning of Life?

- 42, of course! - Eat well, try to get exercise, make some friends. - Something else? You know. The unanswerable question. Fun for the whole family! It's something that I've always been interested in. In college, I signed up for a freshman English course called "The Search for Self." They gave us a Myers-Briggs on the first day and discovered that the class title had attracted a statistically unlikely number of INFPs... including me. (Do people still "believe" in the Myers-Brigggs? I've heard some backlash. Does it matter for the purposes of this story?) My parents were badly matched on matters of religion. My mother was a "Don't tell me what the Bible says, young man, I've read it cover to cover!" Christian. My father was a bitter atheist who followed my mother's instructions to keep his mouth shut at home. Our religious instruction was.... illogical and Disneyfied and failed to stick. My sister is an atheist, and I... pondered a lot. Like, a lot. People who've read my work can probably tell. Even as a mythology-loving agnostic, I had a soft spot for stories about what it means to be a person. I was curious upon reading an article that the propensity towards religion might have a genetic component. (Don't worry, I'm probably not headed where you think I am.) Is it genes? Or are my sister and I so different on the topic of religion because Mom dragged her to an awful church after our parents divorced, and I was treated to nightly lectures on how religion proves that P.T. Barnum was right that there's a sucker born every minute? I went to that same church after I moved in with my mother. My sister and I had an amazing rebellion, where we would put our heads together and sing poorly. I would go up or down the way you're "supposed" to for the song but at the wrong interval, and she would sing a half or quarter tone off from me. Our mother, a former Opera singer, stopped making us attend. BWAHAHAHA! For what it's worth, this is my official position on atheism: A Rabbi is teaching his student the Talmud and explains God created everything in this world to be appreciated, since everything is here to teach us a lesson. The clever student asks “What lesson can we learn from atheists? Why did God create them?” The Rabbi responds “God created atheists to teach us the most important lesson of them all – the lesson of true compassion. You see, when an atheist performs an act of charity, visits someone who is sick, helps someone who is in need, and cares for the world, he is not doing so because of some religious teaching. He does not believe that God commanded him to perform this act. In fact, he does not believe in God at all, so his acts are based on an inner sense of morality. And look at the kindness he can bestow upon others simply because he feels it to be right.” “This means” the Rabbi continued “that when someone reaches out to you for help, you should never say ‘I pray that God will help you.’ instead for the moment, you should become an atheist, imagine that there is no God who can help, and say ‘I will help you.'” Anyway. What makes a robot or a string of code a person or not? What is the ineffible thing that makes something alive? Do vampires have souls? What about cats? My mother told me that "Good kitties go to heaven and bad kitties go to hell" and it completely destroyed my faith in what she had taught. Parents, I hear lots of people say they lost their faith when they asked Mom and Dad if Rover and Fluffy went to heaven, so answer that question wisely. But in my case, I spent wayyyy too long analyzing what a cat could do that would merit eternal damnation. Eating a mouse? that's dinner. Pooping on the floor instead of the box? clearly lake of fire material (NOT). It just led me to believe, as a precocious 11 or 12 year old, that hell is dumb. So, what is consciousness, anyway? There's clearly some kind of gestalt where the chemical processes become more than the sum of their parts, and this process breaks apart on death. Is that a soul? I don't know! Does it matter, when whether it's a soul or not breaking down the process is a Humpty-Dumpty thing where you can't put it back together? I'm not sure having the answer is what's important. I think the freedom to ask the question (or choose not to) is. Read the full article

#meaningoflife

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toasteri · 1 year

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Not God's Puppet

Photo by Evan Fitzer on Unsplash

Gospel: Mark 3:31-35 Memorial of Saint Francis de Sales, Bishop and Doctor of the Church | USCCB

In this same chapter from the Gospel of St. Mark beginning on Verse 20, we hear that because of all the wonderful healings that Jesus has been doing, the crowds of people following Him are getting larger and larger and following Him everywhere. Verse 20 says that “He came home, and such a large crowd gathered (presumably they came into the house Jesus was staying in) that they made it impossible for Jesus and his disciples even to eat.” When Jesus’ relatives heard this, they said “He is out of His mind” so “they set out to seize Him”.

Then followed the brief confrontation with the scribes during which Jesus spoke about an everlasting sin. Having put the scribes in their place, Jesus then seems to more or less ignore his mother and relatives – or does He? Jesus did not leave what He was doing, which was, teaching his disciples and ministering to the crowd which St. Mark tells us had followed Him to the house where He was staying in order to go and see His mother Mary and those referred to as His brothers and sisters, which were most likely other close relatives as we’ve come to understand from other past explanations because Jesus did not have siblings.

Instead, Jesus sent a message declaring He now had a new family, the family of His disciples and those who listened to His word, lived that word and therefore did God’s will.

It must have been very difficult for His family, especially for Mary to hear that message. Jesus was not going to be managed or to be controlled. Jesus’ family had to learn to let Him go to fulfill God’s will for His life. It is a lesson for us to learn in relation to others, especially those we love.

We feel we know what is best for them and we want them to respond to what we think they should do in the way that they should do it. Often, we forget that God, that Jesus does not treat us that way because He respects our intelligence and our freedom to choose and to act.

Remember when Jesus came upon the blind man, Jesus asked the blind man a question. But—it was not that Jesus did not already know exactly the answer to His own question. Jesus knows the question and the answer before it is even asked and before we even think an answer to any imaginable question. But HE wants us to be ready, to come to the point of realizing that we need His healing, His forgiveness, that the time has come to receive the glory of His mercy, the glory of His power. Mark 10:50-52 tells us “Throwing off his cloak, Bartimaeus jumped up and came to Jesus. “What do you want Me to do for you?” Jesus asked. “Master,” said the blind man, “ Master, I want to see.” “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” And immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus on the way.…”. Yes, Jesus knows what we need. And HE wants us to be the ones to see that we need it. Otherwise, we would be no more than puppets. But we are not God's puppets, we are free to decide. That is what it means to have free will.

If we were not free to decide when to feel sorry for our sins for example, we would be no more than miserable puppets. How awful and inappropriate would it be for example to be at one of the celebrations with which we mark our human existence like a birthday, a wedding, a Baptism and for God to suddenly decide that you need to right then and there feel deep sorrow and regret for your sins and at such a joyous moment, for God to decide that you need to feel deep misery. NO, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven…a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…a time to seek, and a time to lose…a time to keep silence, and a time to speak” (Eclesiastes 3:1-8) and Jesus waits for us to be ready to come Him, He trusts that we will make the right choice.

That is the learning we have to come to terms with when it comes to our loved ones, to acknowledge our powerlessness over them and let them go to make their own mistakes. This can be painful because we don’t want them to suffer, especially for parents.

The Virgin Mary, I’m sure would not have hesitated to carry the Cross for Jesus as she did not hesitate to carry Him in her womb, but it was not God’s will for Mary to carry the Cross. God’s will was for Mary to carry Him in her womb and be the Mother of God and later it was Jesus’ will for her to become our mother.

God’s will was for Jesus to carry the sin of Adam and Eve, the sin of pride, arrogance, disobedience, opening the gates of heaven for us and with His ascension carrying us, the human race into heaven, but in the process, He had to die for our sake so that all this might be accomplished. This was God's will and purpose for Him.

What is your purpose. Your purpose is to carry your cross, however heavy or however light. But you will never be alone. Believe in Him. He promised, "I will be with you always, even to the end of time." (Mt. 28:20)

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literally-tired-of-this · 1 year

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2) I AM CHOOSING and BUILDING my healthy relationships. My entire sheltered childhood, I've been conditioned to take relationships for granted. I was closest to my family members (no outside friends), and in a way, I could do whatever toxic things I wanted to them and they would still be there.

Then I was away from them (college across the country) to face the real world and thank God for that / that was traumatic.

I grew into a person who would be genuinely humble, genuinely empathetic, feels bad over her past and kinda feels like she has to (over)compensate. Because I HAVE hurt people, I'm sorry for everything, and if I can't rebuild wooden bridges with them, then I'll build new concrete bridges with others.

But to tie in with the last post about toxic masculinity, I just wanted to give a shout out to a recent and amazing (online) friendship of mine. N. I've never had the privilege to have anything like this before. We openly tell each other we love each other, miss each other. We send each other those wholesome "Me and You" memes with kittens kissing. I was shocked and honored when he asked me to roleplay HIS character for him, a thing which I never pictured MYSELF letting someone else do for me.

Not an atom of toxic masculinity in sight. And I will cherish my good adult relationships, and I know that connection takes effort, honesty and empathy. There's no place for entitlement and manipulation. All these lessons, I had to teach MYSELF.

Meanwhile, I have a parent who only judges me from what is physically seen. Oh, I don't physically go out to hang with friends from the neighborhood? This must SURELY mean I have no social skills, and push away people with that arrogance he witnessed like, a decade ago in his sheltered and spoiled child. Oh, your partner and kids don't interact with their extended family on your side? I'm CERTAIN they're doing it on purpose to hurt people, and they SPECIFICALLY want to look like antisocial hermits that cannot be touched by anyone, no other explanation.

Three fat decades of my existence / six decades of his existence, and I don't think that parent ever thought more than two seconds about what an "introvert" is.

I didn't CHOOSE to be born introverted, I just cope with the world in my way, period. It's tough for us in this extrovert-centric world. I need hours and hours--days and days of alone time to recharge my batteries. I don't choose to be away from people because I'm "antisocial". The adult I am now actually CRAVES love and interaction! I will pour my heart out to the right people, who will pour out theirs back at me. I will be CRAZY, GAGA, HYPER with the people I LOVE--they DESERVE to see that side of me and they have my trust, I am COMFORTABLE with them. I CHERISH my friends exposing their vulnerable sides to me and I would never knowingly betray them.

I'm sorry you couldn't empathize with me, and imagine such a simple concept as me having a rich, fulfilling life, just because you don't physically see or hear about it--hm, I wonder why?

I'm sorry you couldn't empathize with me and imagine me INTELLIGENTLY choosing to avoid certain relationships because I KNOW they aren't good for me and aren't worth it, because I know what toxicity, narcissism and manipulation are. What an insult to my intelligence and individuality! Because I know what my energy is like and I know what to fight for, no matter what it looks like to you on the outside.

I'm sorry you think avoiding others = evil, like there's no other explanation 😂 Did you want me to become a people-pleaser instead? Did you want me to constantly assume that others even WANTED to interact with me to begin with? Did you want me to allow the world to overstimulate me, and drain me to the point of no recovery?

That's not even considering the fact that I'm a spoonie (chronically ill person with limited energy reserves called 'spoons' that have to be carefully managed, and even doing that already takes spoons away)!

Three decades. Three decades of attempted gaslighting over me being "antisocial". Jokes on you, I love humanity now more than you ever have thoughout your entire life. I deeply empathize with, and understand everyone's emotions and thoughts. Even the horrible ones, that I play devil's advocate for in my head--allowing me to understand even better. What are YOU doing at twice my age? Literally scolding me like I'm still your 9-year-old, and not a grown adult with whom you can have a substantial conversation with? Which I wouldn't even be comfortable with, because I'm not reassured by how open-minded you are to any new ideas at all?

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treadmilltreats · 1 year

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The lessons I've learned in 2022

I live my life looking for the lessons in everything.

I know in every success, in every failure, in every heartbreak, and in every joy, there is a lesson to be learned.

This last year taught me a lot of lessons, some great, some heartbreaking but these were obviously lessons I needed to learn and so I looked at all of them this way...what did I need to learn? Why did this happen, and what's the lesson?

I learned that life is short and can change at any moment. The last three

years of the pandemic taught us this. We don't know when life will turn us upside down and take us for a ride, but like it or not, we must learn to adapt.

I learned that I love writing more than anything, even though I've been writing this blog for the last 9 years. I learned that even when I want to give up, when I feel that maybe I don't have anything more or relevant to say, I always get a sign that tells me that I need to go on as this is my purpose and my passion.

I learned that doing something you love pays off big time, as I have the most incredible clients in the world now. I love what I do by helping others, and owning my own business is such a gift from God.

I've learned that what you do for others will come back to you. This was especially true these last few years with my dear friends and all of us falling on hard times.

I learned that hard work pays off, that I could do this, and so many other things I never imagined I could. That I could teach my girls to be self-sufficient, and that has given me a satisfaction that money can never buy.

Another lesson was that you're never too old to learn something new, as I have been learning these last nine years as a single mom. I've learned to do more things for myself and to teach myself how to do things even when I have no idea how to do it.

A painful lesson I learned again this year was that sometimes friendships weren't made to last the test of time, even with family. I learned that words cut you like a knife and that I've had enough of that kind of treatment in my life. I refuse to let anyone speak to me with disrespect as I would never speak to others like that. Some people weren't meant for the whole ride even as much as that hurts.

A priceless lesson I learned, especially during the pandemic, is the time I got to spend with my girls. They are the most valuable thing I have and that I know that we will always be a team.

We have fun together, we laugh and there is no stress like years ago, they are my life. I realize I got this...

I am doing something good here and that even when I didn't think they were listening, they were.

Love taught me a huge lesson, as I had my heart broken yet again and had to take the time to really mend it. This relationship taught me one of the biggest lessons I needed to learn, and that was about my self-worth. I know what I will accept and will not accept the next time love comes around. He taught me that there are great men out here, and even though our lives are going in different directions, he will always hold that special place in my heart.

Life has come at me hard this year with many setbacks, a broken arm being laid up for weeks, depression and the loss of my dear church husband. Yet I've tried to see the lessons. I've been grateful for the good times and all the places I've gotten to go even through it all.

I realized that I am so very blessed ...this past year, I got to go home to see loved ones. I got to go on mini vacations with friends I love, and I got to spend quality time with my girls.

I've had some bad times, I've cried, I've lost people I loved and reconnected with others yet through it all I still had gratitude, I still believed in the good in people and better times.

I have made memories that lasted me a lifetime and am blessed with so many amazing people in my life. I take none of this for granted.

I am filled with gratitude and praise for God who allowed me all of this and even though at times my faith felt as tiny as a mustard seed, I held on to it with dear life and have gotten through it all.

All of this has made me tougher; it shook my faith in people, but it made my faith stronger in God, as I knew he would take care of me.

I didn't know how or when, but I knew he would, and he did.

Yes, through the storms, I still questioned him, wasn't this supposed to be my year...what is going on?

Everything was coming at me....bills, people, work was bad, I fell into a depression, my heart felt like it would never recover. Yes, you name it, and it was being thrown at me yet again.

Yes, as bad as it was all I could do was pray through the storm and be grateful for all I had, knowing that having my faith, as small as it was, that it would all be okay. I had been through the worst and survived and will do so again.

Big, big lesson! Never give up; never stop having faith, never stop believing.

I never doubted that God wouldn't come through for me, not for a second.

So as we start this new year of 2023, I will be remembering all the valuable lessons I have learned. I will give thanks that I am still here and that I have made it through.

I know this last year was just getting me ready for the incredible year that is coming. It has made me stronger; it taught me to keep the doors closed that are supposed to be closed; it taught me faith and love and, most importantly, forgiveness.

All of it has made me the better person I am today...and I am grateful.

So today my friends remember a new year is here, great things are yet to come but don't write off last year without learning the lessons... What were your lessons from last year? What were you supposed to learn?

It is only then you can move into this new year smarter, stronger, wiser.. ready for all this new year has to bring.

"Be the change you want to see"

@TreadmillTreats

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awkward-and-indecisive · 3 years

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First Day Assistance.

Summary - Y/N is new on The Boys set, nervous and determined to do her job right until she meets Jensen Ackles and her mouth loses its filter so he decides to teach her a good lesson.

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Female!Reader

Warnings - SMUT 18+, Unprotected sex (y’all are better than this), Oral sex (f receiving), fingering, semi-public sex, tiny bit of fluff, Jensen in that damn Soldier Boy suit, this is just pure filth with no plot in sight

Word Count - 2547

A/N - Blame @msmarvelouswinchester for this and of course Mr. Jensen Snackles who I’m pretty sure wants to kill me. Apparently this is what she and I do, put thoughts into each other’s head until we can’t do anything but write them. Till three in the morning🤦🏽‍♀️

This was also Beta’d by @msmarvelouswinchester , so double thank you 😘

This is a work of fiction and for entertainment purposes. I don’t mean any harm to anyone in their family.

This is my first ever fic so please tell me what you think about it. FEEDBACK IS HIGHLY APPRECIATED!!!

Happy Reading!!!

*****

It was your first day on the set of The Boys and you were excited for this new opportunity. You had to start small with being a P. A. but now you were looking forward to working on the third season of such an amazing show. You were ready to work hard and were determined to make it big in the industry.

But all those plans flew straight out the window when you looked at Jensen fucking Ackles in his Soldier Boy suit looking like a sex god. You probably had stopped breathing and only inhaled sharply when you became a little lightheaded. Your thighs squeezed together, your pussy clenched and you could feel wetness pooling between your legs.

It was rather directly proportional - the dampness of your panties and the amount of time you looked at him. The more you stared at all the little details, the more wet you became. You knew it was highly unprofessional to have such thoughts about one of the leading actors but it was like your body had stopped listening to you and all the rational and moral thoughts had ceased to have any effect on you.

The way the muscles of his broad shoulders rippled underneath the spandex of his suit as he moved. The way the suit gave a little peek of his neck. The way his freckles shone through the little peek. The way his shoulder to waist ratio fucked you up. The way that knife holster on his hip made you go feral with lust. The way you wanted to come undone on those fingerless gloves till you couldn’t anymore. The way that suit hugged his curves, especially that perky ass.

You were busy thirsting like a dehydrated bitch in the middle of the Sahara, lost in your own filthy thoughts for who knows how long, when a snapping noise brought you back to the land of living. You blinked a few times to clear your head of its dirty thoughts and blurry vision. When you looked back up, you saw Jensen Snackles, as Sony Pictures had oh so proudly named him, standing in front of you and snapping his fingers.

Confusion flooded your expressions but before you could open your mouth to ask what he wanted, he cut you off, “Do we have a problem here, miss? Is there something on my face or what? Because you keep staring at me and I can’t do my job like that!” He said in an annoyed tone.

That’s when you looked around and saw that the set was deserted except for you and the Adonis. The director must have called for a break if there were too many bad takes. You felt a little guilty for wasting everyone’s time but before you could apologise, he cut you off again, “There she goes again. What is going on inside your head?” He clipped, waving a hand in front of your face.

You didn’t know what it was. The pent up sexual frustration of not having had sex in months or how rudely Snackles here was constantly cutting you off, with the fact that no one should look like that or that you couldn’t get your mind off of him but you snapped at him.

“Listen Mr. Sna- Mr. Ackles, firstly, I don’t have a problem with you and I’m not staring at you and secondly, you are not letting me work and are distracting me.” You quipped.

You knew in an instant you were fired for the way you had talked to him but now that you had spoken your mind and the words had left your mouth, you couldn’t take them back. So you decided to stand your ground.

“I am not letting you work?!” He scoffed, cocking one of his eyebrows.

“Yes!! You think it’s easy for me to concentrate when you roam around looking like sex on legs.” You said, waving a hand up and down his body.

Your eyes widened and your hand flew to your mouth when you heard the words that had left your mouth. A cocky smirk grew on his face and he took a step forward as you mirrored his move in the opposite direction.

“I think that implies you were staring at me.” He chuckled, stepping forward again until your back hit the wall and the clipboard and the walkie you had in your hands fell. You were caged by him against the wall, looking like a prey meeting the eyes of its predator just before it’s death.

You looked down, too ashamed and weak to meet his burning gaze. You turned your head towards the exit and said, “I’m sorry Mr. Ackles. I should leave.”

“Nuh-uh,” he tutted, “Sex on legs huh?” He asked cockily.

He was dangerously close to you. You could feel his warm breath fanning over your face. You let out an involuntary whimper and if it was possible, his face turned more cocky.

“What other thoughts swim around in that pretty little head of yours Miss..” he trailed off, his hand coming to push a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

You cleared your throat before half whispering and half whimpering, “Y/n Y/l/n.”

“Y/n Y/l/n.” He said, gruffly, as if trying to see how it would sound from his mouth and god did it sound so sinful. “Interesting name but I guess it makes up for your interesting personality. So as I was saying, what other thoughts about me do you have? Other than sex on legs of course.”

You couldn’t focus enough to reply as you were busy staring at his plump lips and that goddamn beard that gave you all kinds of thoughts you wouldn’t think in your wildest dreams.

“You’re staring again, sweetheart.” He chuckled and the vibrations of it could be felt by you as he pressed his body to yours and caged you between his arms that you knew from his Instagram video he had spent some time working on.

You instantly looked up into his gorgeous green orbs and found yourself lost in them. You opened your mouth a few times but nothing came out, looking like a fish out of the water. Words had left you. It was like a small child trying to speak but not knowing how to.

He closed the distance between his mouth and your ear and growled, “What’s wrong, sweetheart? Cat got your tongue?”

Your whole body shuddered and you pushed your thighs together to get some much needed friction. Jensen seemed to notice your reaction and pushed his thigh between your legs.

“Oh so that’s what this is about. I see nobody has fucked this tight, little pussy in a while and that’s why you’re snapping at people and undressing me with your eyes.” He said in a low, deep voice that had your pussy clenching around nothing.

A wave of arousal flooded your panties and you knew they were ruined a long time ago but now it felt like they had simply disintegrated.

He continued, “But don’t you worry, unfortunately I know what it feels like and I think I would very much like to help you with that.” He winked and if it wasn’t for the wall and him caging you in, your knees would have buckled and you would be a horny mess on the floor.

You noticed your breathing had become heavier and your lips had parted, your hands were balled in fists at your sides, your pussy throbbed in need and your whole body was shaking with lust and desire.

Jensen leaned down to look into your eyes and spoke softly, “Hey, if you don’t want this tell me right away.”

That seemed to snap you out of your sensory overload and you quickly nodded frantically.

“I want this. I want you to fuck me, Jensen.” You sputtered quickly before he could take his offer back.

The moment your consent reached his ears, the beautiful greens of his eyes were eclipsed by the black clouds of lust. He crashed his lips on yours in a bruising kiss that was all teeth and tongue. It was driven by pure lust and need and want and desire.

His hands were on you pushing and pulling and mapping out your entire body. Everything felt too much and not enough at the same time. When the need for air became too much you both parted, panting like you had just ran a marathon. He pushed his partly gloved hands underneath your jumper and pulled it off you leaving your upper body in the black tank top you were wearing.

His mouth moved towards your jaw, nipping and nibbling at the skin there while his hands squeezed your ass. His mouth went to your neck, to the spot behind your ear that drove you wild and sucked. And oh god did he suck hard. You were pretty sure you’d be sporting a big purple hickey but you couldn’t care less.

He kissed the valley of your breasts and suckled one of your clothed nipples as your back arched off the wall and you shamelessly let out a loud moan. He pushed your tank top up as he kneeled down, leaving open mouthed kisses all over your stomach.

He pushed your leggings and your panties down in one go and both of you were shocked. You, to see that your panties hadn’t disintegrated and him, to see how wet you were. He looked up at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes and before you could comprehend what it meant, he dove inside your pussy like a starving man.

He let out a groan when he tasted you, gripping your thighs so tight that you were sure there'd be bruises there. You tangled your hands in his hair, keeping him in place but also giving yourself something to hold on to.

All your wet dreams and imaginations didn’t do justice to how delicious the burn of his beard felt between your thighs. He fucked you with his tongue and then went on to suck at your clit like a child sucking an ice lolly after playing for hours in the summer heat.

To say that you were a panting, moaning, whimpering, writhing and blubbering mess would be an understatement. You were at the mercy of this man’s mouth and you thanked your lucky stars for it. One of his hands left your thigh and came to encircle your core. Desperate to come, you started grinding on his face.

He pushed two of his thick fingers in and groaned at how easily they fit cause you were practically dripping at this point. He fucked you on his fingers hard all the while nibbling and sucking your clit. He moved up your body till he was face to face with you all the while thrusting his fingers into you at a merciless pace.

He crashed his lips on yours and pushed his tongue inside your mouth. You moaned at tasting yourself on his tongue. He moved his talented mouth towards your ear and nibbled on the lobe.

“You’re close, aren’t you? I can feel you squeezing my fingers. Come on Y/n. Come for me.” He whispered in your ear.

Like he had a remote control to your body, you came. And you came so hard that you saw stars. Your vision went white, your body went slack and you felt like you were filled to the brim with pleasure.

When you came back to your senses, the first thing you felt was his cock, hard and heavy, lined with your core, your legs wrapped around his waist, his hands on your ass supporting your weight and crushing you between his body and the wall. He looked at you to see if there was any hint of discomfort but when he couldn’t find any, he kissed you while pushing his cock deep inside you.

You had to admit that he was bigger than any guy you’ve been with and the stretch was just oh so good. He kissed you, nibbling on your lower lip til you got used to his girth. You clawed at his shoulders and the now not so short hair at the nape of his neck.

“Fu-uck Jensen. Move please. F-fuck me.” You begged not caring how desperate you sounded.

Jensen let out an animalistic growl upon hearing your words and pulled all the way out, only leaving the tip in and slammed back into you in one thrust. You let out a cry when his cock hit your g-spot with fucking precision.

He kept up his deadly pace, pounding into you so hard you were sure you’d feel it for days, that had the coil in your lower belly wound tight in no time. He hid his face in the crook of your neck. Only the sounds of his heavy breathing and grunts ,which to be honest should be illegal, and your moans and panting could be heard around the large set.

“Look at you,” He grunted in your ear, “taking my cock so good. You’re so tight. Fuck.”

You couldn’t help but clench your pussy hearing those words pouring out of his mouth.

“I’m not gonna last long. Come for me one more time Y/n. Come on my cock. Squeeze it.” He grunted, pushing one of his hands between your bodies and rubbing rough circles on your clit.

You came with a scream of his name. Your orgasm was so fucking intense that you knew in that moment no one will ever be able to make you come so hard other than this man. He fucked you through your orgasm. A few hard thrusts later he stilled deep inside you and came with a grunt that you’d remember till the day you die. He spilled hot ropes of cum and you milked his cock for all its worth.

When you both came down from your highs, you untangled yourselves from each other and cleaned yourselves the best you could. You quickly and quietly got dressed, the air filling with awkwardness.

When you got dressed, you bent down to pick up your stuff which had fallen and turned to leave when suddenly Jensen caught your wrist and turned you around so that now he was caged between you and the wall. He kissed you and it was all sweet and soft this time while you wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned your body into his.

“Don’t you dare think this was a one time thing. You and me. Dinner at my place at 8. Sounds good?” He asked, sincerely and sweetly.

Your brows furrowed and you opened your mouth to reply but before you could the walkie in your hand came to life and a voice sounded from the other end, “Jensen Ackles is needed now at the wardrobe. Jensen Ackles is needed now at the wardrobe.”

“Looks like I have to go.” Jensen said and pecked your lips once.

He walked backwards and shouted, “My place at 8. Don’t forget.” He gave you a wink before finally going out of your sight.

You stood there confused as to what had just happened in the last hour of your life.

*****

#jensen x reader #jensen ackles x reader #jensen x you #jensen x y/n #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles x y/n #supernatural #jensen ackles #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfiction #dean winchester #jensen fic #jensen ackles fic #rpf #smut #spn rpf #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfic #spn fic

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yandere-daydreams · 3 years

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Imagine you’re sterile or something but it’s fine because you don’t want kids, but you get kidnapped by a god/goddess of fertility who takes it upon themselves to make your “dreams” come true, because that MUST be why you’re so dissatisfied with life, right? They’ll even help you raise them. Well, they have to help, because it’s not like you have anyone else...

tw - imprisonment, implied noncon, physical abuse, gaslighting, dehumanization, mentions of past abuse, the reader are both gender-neutral but boy does it feel misogynistic.

While I’m not totally sure about the whole fertility thing,,, a major paternal diety that’s just so determined to make their darling into the perfect little home-maker. It’s only natural, after all. They just want to show you the path you’re meant to take, rather than the one your silly little brain keeps insisting you want.

Fertility is a part of it, obviously. You’re not quite ready for that step yet, but they still want to make sure you’re happy, healthy, in top-shape for when you finally crack and they can finally have their perfect family with their newly perfected mortal. In the meantime, they have to work with what they have - the stubborn, misguided, long-suffering soul they’ve taken under their wing, even if they have to do it against your will, right now. They assumed you’d be afraid, if nothing else, too struck by being brought before a being so powerful to ever reject them in any meaningful way, but the shock wore off too quickly, and you’ve never been very pious. You’re just too close-minded to see the world they do, and that’s where the problem lies. You’re just too cold. They need to teach you to be a little less selfish, if they ever have a chance of warming you up.

They’re usually such a passive god. They like peace, cooperation, domestic bliss and all the little, wonderful miracles that come along with it. That’s why it’s such a shame you pushed them so far, that you refused to come along after they went out of their way to show you how nice life could be, if you just closed your eyes, took their hand, and admitted it wouldn’t be so bad to live a simple life in the doting arms of your beloved. They can’t blame you, not completely, not when they know how you were raised, how many bad examples you’ve taken to heart, but it’s hard not to grow frustrated when you hole yourself up in your room, when you pout and sulk and act like they’re so awful just because they’ve gone out of their way to show you how much they care. You can’t hold it against them when they lose their temper, when they finally snap show you that there are things much worse than family life. They feel bad afterwards, of course, after you’re curled up on their bed and they’re done bandaging up all those pretty marks you’ve never seemed to care for, but they always make sure to hold you in their lap, to let you sob into their shoulder, if you’re going to sob at all. You haven’t learned your lesson quite yet, you still push them away, you still don’t accept their affection as happily as they’d like, but your true role’s starting to sink in, your true purpose, whether or not you realize it, just yet. They’re sure it’ll only take another little push before you come along.

They’re sure you’ll understand, as soon as they get you to the next big step.

#yandere #yandere imagines #yandere x reader #yandere prompts #yandere theory #general

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obsessivelycapricious · 3 years

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18+ Jason Todd x fem!reader fic ramble.

Hey, so this is a idea i've had in my head for a while, but it won't leave me alone. I've kinda written the first part of it already? But idk if I'll finish it. I haven't worked out the ending yet either but a couple of lovely people were interested in hearing it so here goes! Thanks for the support! I'll tag you all separately.

Warnings: excessive torture, manipulation, gaslighting, rape, violence. kidnapping, interrogation, Stockholm syndrome, abuse. I dont specifically mention how old the characters are, but B-Man likes to pick them young so use your imagination to age them up a bit if you like. It's dark folks, and a super slow burn, though it might not be so bad written in brief here, but if those bother you it might not be a good idea to read it. (its hidden under the cut - PS it got super long - 2.5k words.)

You are Robin. Or, you were at least.

Batman picked you up out of crime alley, gave you a home and a purpose and trained you up to be one of the best deterrents to the crime in Gotham. You lived in the manor, and thought of Bruce and Alfred (even Dick) as your family. It's awesome and you love it!

Almost two years after donning the cape, something goes wrong. You get split up from Batman and taken by Jokers men. That night is the last night you see the sky for years.

Over the next three years, you are systematically abused, manipulated, gaslighted and tortured until you are a shell of your former self. Conditioned to obey his every whim, you micro dose of the small crumbs of affection Joker has to offer you. He gives you test after test, pushing you to your limit always in new and horrific ways. You don't hesitate when he asks you to shoot someone in the head or to beat someone to death. The consequences of fighting against him aren't worth it, you have learned that the hard way. He even doesn't always lock the door behind him and yet you don't try to escape.

You hate batman with a passion now, you regret ever having met the man, he has ruined your life and it's his fault that you are where you are now. He abandoned you. Used you for his games and then replaced you like you were nothing to him. It broke your heart when Joker showed you the footage of another Robin running along the rooftops. Your replacement. Heartbreak boiled over to fury and rage.

He passes you around his acquaintances, particularly Johnathan Crane who is eager to test his new strain of fear gas out. Under the gas you see the Bat sacrificing you again and again to get what he wants. If Scarecrow takes advantage of you while he has you in a vulnerable state, no one cares enough to stop him. He wants to know who the Bat is, but you know that telling him will put Alfred in danger and you'll do anything to avoid that

(Thankfully the joker doesn't want to know who the bat is, you're not sure you could defy him like that anymore.)

Then one day, a body gets thrown into the small cell you are kept in when joker doesn't want to play. Its a Robin. You panic, fear and anger confusing you while joker laughs in your face. You know it's another test but you can't figure out what the rules are.

This is where the fic starts. It's about Jason Todd's slow descent from a vibrant punk who loves being Robin to the dejected, abused shell of a boy who hates the caped crusader and will do anything Joker tells him. You know it'll happen, because that's what happened to you.

Only, Joker never does the same thing twice. Even if it works. You don't want to get attached to the boy, but birds of a feather and all that jazz.

Highlights (or lowlights) include:

Having to share a small confined cell with Jason.

Arguing about the Joker and escaping

"Don't you want to leave? Crazy bitch."

Finding out that Batman didn't even tell Jason about you:

“Why would he come for you anyway, huh? What makes you so special?” “I’m Robin. We’re partners. We’ve been through all kinds of shit together. We’re like this.” “Pah. You really believe it too, don’t you? Ya poor sap.” “What do you mean?” “Why go to the bother of finding a dumb punk like you when he can just make a new shiny Robin instead?” “He wouldn’t do that.” “He’s already done it. You ain’t the first.” “That Robin moved away, he’s doing his own thing now.” “I wasn’t talking about him. I meant the other one.” “What other one?” “The other one.” “There aren’t any other ones – I’m the only other Robin that there’s ever been.” “You motherfucker!”

Beating the shit out of Jason in a blind rage because he won't stop talking about how Batman will come for him.

“How long have you known Batsy for huh? If you know him so well.” “Nearly three years. How long have you known him huh? Oh that’s right – you don’t” “What? Three – Three years?” “That’s what I said. Look, I know this is scary, but I trust B-Man. He’ll come for me, we’ll kick all these guy’s asses, take Joker back to Arkham and get you out of here too. It’ll be okay, you’ll see.” “B-Man?” “Yeah, Batman.” “Shut up.” “What? Why?” “I don’t want to talk about him anymore so shut up!”

Jason finally figuring out who you are when Joker comes to punish you for denting his new toy.

Joker calling you pet names while manipulates you and you being terrified the Joker is going to replace you too

“Oh. Pumpkin, it’s alright. I thought we agreed we were over this, no? Batsy kicked you to the curb a long time ago. It’s old news! This shiny new toy of ours is your replacement.”. “What? You’re replacing me too?” “No, no no. I’d never dream of doing something so barbaric, Sweetheart. That’s the Bats’ M.O. You’re mine for keeps. I would never be that cruel, would I?”

Jason taking his anger out on you:

“Why do you hate B and not the Joker? He’s the one that’s doing this to you. He shipped you off to Crane and you didn’t even fight back.” “You have no idea what you’re talking about.” “No, I know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re screwed in the head. You’re a joke, you’ve given up. Some Robin you are. A real Robin fights back. You don’t deserve the title.”

Joker making you put your Robin suit back on to fight Jason for his amusement. Jason hesitates in the beginning but kicks your ass every time.

Jason trying to comfort you but being bad at it.

Joker asking your opinion on you what you think will break the boy:

"When he gets replaced. Show him."

Weeks of being beaten then long stretches of being left alone with Jason with no instructions.

Catching Jason staring at you when he thinks you're not paying attention.

Joker being caught and taken to Arkham so you both get knocked out and transported there too.

Joker ignores you the entire time he's there as he's being watched to closely, the separation sets you off into a panic when you think about it too much.

Most of Arkham is in on you being kept there. The prisoners who know about it are paid off by being able to play with you - and now Jason too.

Jason thinking in Arkham he would have more chance of being able to escape.

You being subjected to more of Crane's abuse and different types of gas.

Jason being brought back to your cell after being tortured by calendar man and offering him comfort for the first time.

Being cut open and tortured by Zsaz.

Huddling up in the abandoned wing of Arkham for warmth and comfort.

Remembering that you had met before, years ago in the Narrows before Batman took you to be his adopted daughter.

Jason taking care of you while you recover.

Giving Jason advice on how to cope and get through the different villains taking revenge on you.

Jason being hurt and tired and snapping at you, causing an argument where you lash out at him:

"I had to go through this all on my own, dickweed. I didn't have anyone to hold my hand and tell me I wasn't going to die. So fuck you! God forbid I try and help your sorry ass."

Jason being tortured by two-face and seeing Batman and a new Robin visiting Arkham. They don't hear him scream for them to help. It breaks his heart and his will to fight.

You knew it would happen, but seeing it first hand makes your heart break for him. You didn't want to be right. You hate Batman more for what he's done to Jason than what he's done to you.

"I was right there (y/n)! Right there and he didn't even look at me."

Talking about Alfred and how much he means to you both.

Thinking you might actually have feelings for Jason after all.

Being transported back to the compound when Joker finally breaks out of Arkham again only to be in separate cells.

Having major separation anxiety from not being able to tell if Jason is okay.

Joker being jealous of your attachment to Jason and doubling down on his control over you.

He tries to take you outside and you panic so badly you beg him to take you back because you're terrified of what being free will mean.

Joker telling you that you failed his test by getting attached to the boy. He tells you that he's going to kill Jason to teach you a lesson.

Being put back in a cell with Jason to find his face has been branded and he's just so utterly void of any hope or any life.

Sitting next to Jason in the cell with your head on his shoulder.

Jason knowing he's going to die without you having to tell him. His voice is quiet and resigned, almost with a shred of relief when he says:

"He's going to kill me soon, isn't he?" "I'm going to miss you, Jason Todd." "I'm glad I got to know you, (Y/N). I'm sorry I couldn't get us out." "It's okay."

You kissing his cheek as you drift off huddled together for the last time.

Joker forcing you to watch as he beats Jason repeatedly with a crowbar, ignoring your defiant cries and struggles for him to stop.

"Which hurts more Little Red? Hmm? Forehand? Or Backhand? I think (Y/N) would like to know!"

Joker blaming you for having to kill Jason:

"And all because of your silly school girl crush. What a waste. I'm very disappointed in you, Dolly."

Being dragged away screaming from his lifeless body and thrown into the back of a van just in time before the building explodes.

That's the first half. For the second half to the ending, I haven't quite figured out yet. I've got a few ideas, but I can't decide what would fit better, feel free to help me out here.

Batman could find her after all this time, new evidence being uncovered during the explosion and in his grief about finding Jason's body he could question that he never actually found yours. Of course then you'd be homicidal and try to kill him, resulting in you being locked in another cell, this time in the Batcave. You'd get to scream at him about all his failings and what a terrible person he is though so that could be cathartic. Alfred (And Dick a little) manages to talk you back to some kind of sanity but you are forever changed by this. You meet Red Hood at a later date: on your way to find an egg and cheese sandwich when someone pulls a gun on you. Seeing you again jars him out of his own homicidal rage long enough to care about the girl who he couldn't save, giving the BatFam an opening to reason with him some.

-Or-

Joker keeps you hidden away and the Bat still has no idea you even exist. It stays that way for two more years where you eventually become completely numb to everything he or his acquaintances do to you. Joker eventually gets bored at the lack of reaction and in his boredom he gets careless. A new vigilante takes it upon himself to blow up to compound and best all Joker's men, he escapes but the vigilante doesn't chase after him and instead he finds you. You resist his attempts to save you, knowing how angry Joker will be so instead, Red Hood punches you in the face, knocking you out. He carries out into the night and you wake up somewhere new and he tries to help unravel the fuck ton of issues you've got while dealing with his own. He'll probably enlist the BatFam to help once he's done wanting to kill them, unless you can talk him into killing the Bat together, after the Joker dies of course.

-Or-

One day, maybe a year after Jason dies, Joker decides he's bored of you and gives you one last curveball. After more than 6 years of being isolated and abused, you wake up in an alley on the streets of Gotham, alone. Abandoned again. After several panic attacks and not knowing if it was a test and that you should run back to the Joker or going to find Alfred because he's the only person in the world left that you trust, you decide to leave Gotham altogether. You make it out and somehow navigate your way to having an apartment, a job and even a quiet life in Bludhaven, away from the Bat and the Clown and the nightmares. Except that one day, while you're drinking your morning coffee in a café, Dick Grayson sits down opposite you. You're stable enough not to react immediately, and Dick seems to really care that you're alive and well. Turns out that the Bat found out about you and decided to leave you alone this whole time (which only serves to double down on your feelings of abandonment) Only the joker is out of control and they think that you could help them by giving them an insight into how the joker works. They've got a new Vigilante to deal with too so they're stretched pretty thin. You flat out refuse which is when it turns out it really wasn't a request. You are taken back to Gotham and confronted with the BatFam, helping them reluctantly when Red Hood breaks into your new apartment, demanding information. You argue, and it feels too familiar, setting off a panic attack when he ribs you about your complicated relationship with the Joker. Identities are revealed and you work together to take down the Joker.

The epilogue to this saga would be some time after any of those options.

Both you and Jason finally in a healthier place where you can actually acknowledge what has been growing between you two since you were paired together all those years ago. It's not a neat and tidy happily ever after, it's messy and full of arguments, fears and misunderstandings but it's also full of tenderness, softness and love. And the sex is really good too.

If you got this far, thanks for reading! Let me know what you think? Come chat to me anytime!

#jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #dc imagines #jason todd imagine #jason todd #dc comics #dark fic #18+#joker #TW

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tarotinapinch · 3 years

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Pile Four: Purple Fluorite Tower

1. Soul Gift: What you came here to express and share with the world.

*Empathic Starseed: Energetic sovereignty. Absorbing what's not yours.

*No: Wait. Postpone. Pause. Say no.

*Sacred Sexuality *Whispers

You came here to express your true self even if that means that you identify differently than most of society. You could be a part of a minority or an avid supporter for minority rights. You came here to express to yourself and/or to minorities how to stand strong and say no to things that aren't fair. How to not absorb things that aren't yours to carry. How to set healthy boundaries and teach others to respect them by respecting yourself and your rights. You came here to express the whispers of your heart, the voice that is so filled with love that its warm, embracing energy radiates from within you outward to anyone you come into contact with. You came to share this healing energy with the world. You came to share the knowledge of healthy boundaries and standing up for what's right and what's fair. You came here to change the world for the better, to create a more positive space where everyone is equal, no matter their cultural heritage, their gender identity, their sexuality, their gender expression, or any difference that they may have from the societal "ideal". You are meant to help break these toxic "ideals" and just teach the world to live as they naturally are and celebrate the differences that bring us together.

2. Karmic Wound: What you came here to heal.

*Water Your Garden: Nourishment. Body care. Tenderness. Rest.

*The Age of Light: You've been training for this for lifetimes.

*The Void

*Channeling

You came here to heal the many lifetimes you've had that were filled with burnout. You are a naturally hard-working person. Someone who gets the job done no matter what you have to sacrifice to do it. While this may seem admirable, taking care of yourself should always be your top priority. The goals that you want to achieve within this lifetime you have been training for many lifetimes prior to this one. So you need not worry about not having enough time or practice. You were made for this and the better you take care of yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually, the better equipped you will be to take on the tasks ahead. You are also a very strong channeler. You can channel Spirit and their messages very easily. This is a part of your life because you have also spent many past lifetimes honing this skill. Perhaps in the past lives you lived this skill was looked down upon to the point where you hid it away or never truly went after it for fear of being ridiculed or exiled. You are here in this lifetime to heal that and not only embrace your gifts, but share them with others with the knowledge that the right people for you will accept them and you as a whole. You will not be thrown into the void of rejection by your true soul family. You will always be loved so long as you love yourself honestly and live your authentic truth.

3. Life Lessons: What you came here to learn.

*Trust the Timing: Trust the wave you came in on. Time is not running out.

*Transformation

*Underworld

*Inner Voice

You came here to learn to trust the timing of the transformations that happen within your life. To trust your inner voice to guide you on the many journeys that you may take through the Underworld, where you learn about yourself on such a deeper level each time you revisit. You are learning that time never truly runs out, it just transforms. Things that are meant for you will never pass you by. You will always receive the things that are meant for you within the right timing, even if you don't feel that is the case. You are never going to be late for anything, you will always arrive in just the right timing for you. You are learning to trust in divine timing more, knowing that the Universe is working with you to perfectly align everything so that you can receive the optimal abundance that is meant to come your way. In summary, you are here to learn how to trust your intuition and go with life's flow. To embrace the changes and the shadow work that comes with them so that you may understand your true self more and more so that you can live life as authentically as possible.

4. Current Obstacle: The thing that's challenging you the most.

*Star Family: You're part of a team of souls. Call in support.

*The Ever-Unfolding Rose: Cracked open. It's happening for you, not to you.

*The Creator

*Transformation

What's challenging for you right now is realizing that the "bad" things that are happening to you or have happened to you in the past are actually meant to help teach you how to move forward, not to hold you back. Nobody likes when they find themselves within traumatic experiences, but an angry sea makes for quite the experienced sailor. You are meant to live through these difficult scenarios so that you can learn from them and create a better life for yourself with this wisdom. You're in a transformative phase and with that comes many changes, changes that may seem difficult to understand or that you may not feel ready to embrace. But trust that these changes are good for you. No matter what these changes may bring about, you are going to end up in a much better place at the end of it all. A place where you can establish a new, healthier way of living for yourself.

5. Soul Calling: What your soul is calling you toward.

*Loosen Your Grip: Coping mechanisms. Destiny. Addiction. Let God in.

*Boundaries: Where do you need to establish better boundaries?

*The Alchemist

*Nourish

You are the creator of your own life, your own destiny. Your soul is calling you to let go of anything that hold you back from seeing your full potential. This could mean habits or coping mechanisms that are unhealthy for you. It could also mean setting healthy boundaries with friends or family members, boundaries that help you protect your energy and nourish your soul back to good health. You might be someone who has an unhealthy habit of people pleasing, saying yes to everyone because you don't want to let them down or have them be disappointed or mad at you. The truth is that this way of living is exhausting and only leads to resentment and burnout. Deep down, you know this and you want to change for the better, take control of yourself a little more and get your confidence back. The best way to do so is to learn how to start setting healthy boundaries wither others and with yourself. Make sure you adhere to your own boundaries or others will not respect them either. Learn to let go of the need to control. Let life unfold and ride the wave, trusting that you will end up where you need to be. Letting go and trusting yourself to make your own choices will always lead you to success and fulfillment.

6. Guidance Message from your Spiritual Team

*The Devil

*Prosperity

*Let Go: It is now time to let go of all that no longer serves you. Free the pent up energy inside of you and imagine it leaving your body as you breathe deeply. Forgive disappointments and pains, do not allow bitterness in. Let go of control and allow for that which needs to die to die, so that you may blossom once more.

*Time to move on. Flow with the river, see where it takes you.

Your guides want you to truly re-evaluate your life. What is needed and what is not? What is helping you and what is hurting you? Nix the things that aren't serving you anymore. There may be some things that helped you or had a purpose for your life in the past, but they have since expired and could actually be holding you in a stagnant energy. It's time to move on from the past towards the bright and promising future, but do not be too hard on your past or present self for the choices you made. Forgive yourself, for you were only doing what you thought was best at the time and that's all anyone can do in the moment until they are taught better. Prosperity lies ahead for you once you clear all of the deadwood off of your path. So hike up your boots and get to work on cleansing yourself so that you may start along the path renewed, fresh, and ready for anything!

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teawiththegods · 3 years

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Hiya jessie , i hope you are doing well . recently i have found myself being interested in worshipping gods from Greek pantheon but i guess I'm putting too much emphasis on the mythology section which kind of demotivates me to worship I'm doing research on their cults , epithets and so on but I kind of am suffering with the whole ( don't take the mythology into the consideration ) I'm unable to shrug off the mythology where they aren't painted very good . Do you have any suggestion how i can solve my problem of taking myths too seriously . luv u :)

Hello, love! It might help to better understand mythology!

Mythology served many purposes outside of “this is how our gods are and behave”. They were for entertainment (can explain the extraness of the stories), possibly teaching lessons in an amusing way (again think about all the CHOICES these characters make and how even we are like “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?” Now imagine being Ancient Greek!), and legitimizing lands/families/royalty (think how WHERE things happen are extremely important in Greek Mythology especially when it comes to gods conceiving children.) So reminding yourself that the primary function of these stories weren’t necessarily to explain the gods could be helpful.

Another point I like to mention often is the inconsistency of mythology. If these stories are meant to define the gods then why are there so many different versions? My favorite example to use is the Murder Mystery of the Ages! Who killed Adonis?? There are multiple versions of this myth that have different culprits such as Ares, Artemis, I believe Apollo, and some pig who was having a bad day. If mythology is meant to explain the gods to us then what the hell am I supposed to do with this murder mystery??? How can mythology judge the gods when it can’t even tell me who killed this beautiful idiot?

Circling back to my question “why are there so many different version??” the answer to that could also provide some food for thought. So the reason there are variations of these stories is because the gods were not worshiped or even viewed the same way throughout Greece or even throughout time. How is this helpful? Well think of it this way, Sparta worships War Aphrodite and Athens is like “the fuck is a War Aphrodite?” which means you’re welcome to look at the gods in mythology like “Nah that ain’t my god!” I’d also like to mention that my boy Socrates was against teaching some mythology (mainly Hesiod and Homer) to kids bc he felt they were not good representation of the gods. So basically while it’s important to know mythology that does not mean you have to absorb it into your worship. Because obviously the Ancient Greeks couldn’t even agree on the gods so like how can we expect their mythology to a be complete guidebook to who these gods are.

And speaking of the Ancient Greeks, here is my last point. Mythology was not made for you. It was not made for me. It wasn’t made for any of us. It was made FOR the Ancient Greeks BY the Ancient Greeks. Their stories are SATURATED with their culture, customs, morals, beliefs, views, etc because the stories again are FOR THEM. But more importantly the stories are also ABOUT them. I always say this when it comes to mythology: Mythology tells us more about the Ancient Greeks than it does the gods. You have to remember that the lens being used to view the divine is a limited one. The Ancient Greeks could only go by what they understood to be the truth. So for them certain behaviors and punishments were not only justified but seen as the norm (think of the Hades and Persephone myth where Hades kidnaps Persephone after getting Zeus’s permission. To an Ancient Greek that’s all valid bc it was part of their own customs) If you tried to tell an Ancient Greek that women deserved rights they would understand that concept just as much as Athens understood the concept of War Aphrodite, tbh probably less so. So the point here is that the depictions and actions of the gods are severely limited by the storytellers and the culture in which these stories are being written/told.

I hope this helps! 👍🏻

#mythology #thoughts on mythology #greek mythology

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whatstheproblembaby · 3 years

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Fic: Points of Contact

PG-13, 2325 words, intended to be a character study but just kind of turned into a pile of fluff and banter? /shrugs

Also on AO3.

As much as she loved a quiet meal at home with her family, Shelagh appreciated their monthly invitations to dinner at Nonnatus House. The little ones were in ecstasy, surrounded by all of their favorite adults, who had no excuses not to play with them. She herself got to enjoy a meal in which she only had to cook one of the dishes, and now that Cyril and Fred were part of the guest list, she knew that Patrick looked forward to a little time with “the lads,” as he was (unfortunately) wont to call them.

She felt a smile blossom across her face as she re-entered the dining area from the kitchen, fresh cup of tea in hand. The others had adjourned to the parlour, where they were waiting for Doctor Who to start. Patrick, Cyril, and Fred had all dragged dining chairs to the far side of the room and were chatting away animatedly, though Cyril kept turning his gaze to the television every so often, clearly not wanting to miss a moment of the show. Sister Monica Joan was on a low stool, no more than a foot of space between her and the screen. Her focus, though, was on the children, who were listening somewhat attentively to her explanation of what to expect from the programme. Violet had had to step out on council business, so Sister Julienne and Phyllis had commandeered the armchairs, leaving the rest of the nuns and nurses to pile onto the sofa or sprawl out on the surrounding floor. Shelagh scanned the space, trying to see where she could squeeze in, when a gesture between Trixie and Sister Frances stopped her cold.

Trixie had perched on the arm of the sofa, one arm draped across Sister Frances’ shoulders. Even that level of public affection was a surprise to Shelagh, who hadn’t realized that Trixie’s comfort with casual, friendly touches extended past her fellow resident midwives, but Sister Frances’ response was the real stunner.

Sister Frances leaned contentedly into Trixie’s loose embrace, tucking her head as best she could onto Trixie’s shoulder and throwing her right arm over one of Trixie’s legs. She showed no fear of being caught doing something improper - indeed, Sister Julienne looked on with a smile as Sister Hilda finished relating an anecdote and the whole sofa burst into laughter.

Shelagh felt her breath catch. She only realized she had been hovering in the doorway a little too long when a concerned “Shelagh?” came from Patrick’s side of the room.

“Forgot to add milk,” she quipped, raising her cup and hoping the laugh she added at the end sounded less forced to everyone else’s ears. She turned and headed back to the kitchen, where she rummaged through the refrigerator with unseeing eyes.

A religious Sister is holy and separate, Sister Adelaide’s voice swam up from her memories. She rejoices and mourns with the community she serves, but she is not of the community. She cannot confuse the comforts of being a sister of man with her higher purpose fulfilling God’s commands with her Sisters in Christ.

Shelagh pressed her lips together wryly as she imagined Sister Adelaide’s reaction to the current display in the parlour. She knew her former instructor in the religious life had since passed on, but she hadn’t realized quite how different the lessons for the newer Sisters would be.

“My love, are you sure you’re all right?” Patrick reached down and took her teacup, setting it on the counter before securing both of her hands in his. “You’re taking an awfully long time to add milk to your already milky tea.”

“Maybe I want the extra calcium,” Shelagh said, smiling up at him. “These old bones could use some shoring up.”

“I’m not even going to respond to that statement, in order to not incriminate myself in the process,” Patrick said with an echoing smile. The love in his eyes still caught Shelagh off-guard, even after years of marriage. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“I’m fine, Patrick,” Shelagh said tenderly. “The times have changed, that’s all. Now, we’d better get back to the parlour before Sister Monica Joan turns all of our children into mystics and Romantic poets.”

Patrick huffed out a laugh. “You know I’m going to ask you to explain what you mean by that first statement later.”

“I will. I just need a little more time to process it for myself first.”

Shelagh noticed the sensation of Patrick’s hand on the small of her back a little more acutely than usual as he guided her back to the party, marking how he removed it once they were properly in mixed company. Later, too, she became aware of how there was always a careful space left for her amongst the women, close enough to ensure she was included, but not so small that she was nudged playfully in the shoulder or brushed by someone crossing their legs to the other side.

The warm weight of her son in her arms at the end of the evening was her anchor. Teddy was dozing off by the time they left, and May and Angela weren’t too far behind. Thankfully, Sister Julienne offered to carry Angela out to their car to keep Patrick or Shelagh from having to make two trips down the stairs.

“Thank you for inviting us to dinner. We always have such a lovely time,” Shelagh said, rocking Teddy as she waited for Patrick to settle May in the back seat of the station wagon.

“The pleasure is all ours, Shelagh,” Sister Julienne said. She reached out and squeezed Shelagh’s arm once, maternally. “You know you’re part of our family. You are always welcome here.”

Shelagh just smiled, unsure of what her voice would do if she tried to respond aloud. By then, Patrick had secured May, so she focused on getting Teddy into the car next without waking him or disturbing the girls. Once all was in order, she and Patrick wished Sister Julienne a good night and waited for her to get back inside safely before they drove off.

In the car, Patrick started to say her name, but Shelagh cut him off by sliding across the bench seat and dropping her head on his shoulder.

“Get us home, Patrick. I’ll explain once we’ve got the children squared away for the night.”

The ride home was quiet, the soft sound of the radio the only real noise as Patrick navigated the streets of Poplar. Shelagh eventually shifted so her hand was resting loosely on Patrick’s above the gear shift, to allow him to manoeuvre the car better, but she stayed close by his side as they unloaded their children and got them in bed, earning a pleased yet confused look from her husband.

“You’re tactile this evening,” he observed mildly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as they walked down the hall to their own room.

“I’m tactile plenty of evenings,” Shelagh replied, handing Patrick his pyjamas from the wardrobe before fetching her own. “I just don’t always allow myself to act on it.”

“Because of-” Patrick broke off, freeing himself from his vest before continuing, “Because of something I’ve done? Shelagh, I’m so-”

“Not because of you, Patrick,” Shelagh said decisively. “Quite the opposite, in fact. But I’m not explaining while you’re changing - I don’t want you to smother yourself with your own clothing!”

They separated long enough to get their pyjamas on and wash up for the night, giving Shelagh one last moment to collect her thoughts.

“Come here,” Patrick said when she reentered the bedroom, holding his arms open from where he sat on his side of the bed. “If you’re still allowing yourself to be tactile, that is.”

Shelagh slid under the covers and into his arms gratefully. “I’m going to try. I don’t want to display too much affection in public, but...I think I may have been holding myself to old-fashioned standards.”

Patrick just raised an eyebrow, looking down at her with curiosity.

“Tonight, at Nonnatus, I saw Trixie and Sister Frances cuddle up to each other without a second thought, and I didn’t know what to do for a moment,” Shelagh explained. “When I was a Sister, casual physical touch was not encouraged. One was supposed to focus on one’s commitment to God to find sustenance and support. Perhaps after one’s life vows, or at a funeral for another Sister, there could be a quick embrace, but on a typical day, there should be space between one and one’s Sisters on the sofa at recreation, and one should not even think about touching or embracing a layperson unless they were experiencing labor, bereavement, or a medical emergency.”

“Really?” Patrick asked. “I’ve always thought of the Sisters as the most nurturing community presence - but now that you say that, I can’t count many times I’ve seen them actually offer a hug. An encouraging squeeze of the arm, perhaps, or a parcel of food or clothing if it serves.”

“We were expected to love as God loves, of course,” Shelagh said. “But there were ways we could do that while staying ‘holy and separate.’ Or so I was taught.”

“It would appear that whichever Sister was in charge of your lessons isn’t instructing anymore.”

“No, she’s long gone, may she rest in peace. And perhaps this new embrace of - well - embracing others is more of a Nonnatus trend than a result of any teachings from the Mother House. Still, it caught me by surprise tonight.” Shelagh tucked her head into the crook of Patrick’s neck as she finished speaking.

Patrick kissed Shelagh’s temple. “Because you were uncomfortable?”

“Because I was jealous,” Shelagh replied. She closed her eyes briefly to hide her embarrassment at saying so, but when she straightened up and looked at Patrick again, she saw nothing but understanding in his eyes, emboldening her to go on. “I spent ten years of my life keeping my distance from other people, believing it was the right way to show my devotion to God and my vows to Him. Still, I saw every moment I could have hugged a frightened mother and didn’t, or every moment I refrained from comforting one of the resident nurses at Nonnatus. I didn’t even let you hold me in public for the first year of our marriage because I was afraid everyone would think I was so starved for affection that I left the church the first time a man so much as looked at me. And now the Sisters can just casually curl up with the nurses on the couch in the parlour?”

Shelagh couldn’t restrain her frustrated tears any longer. Before the first of them were even finished trickling down her cheeks, she found herself wrapped in Patrick’s arms, her head cradled against his shoulder. He murmured soothing nonsense in her ear, assuring her he was in no rush for her to pull herself back together.

“I’m sorry, Patrick, I got you soaked,” Shelagh said once she was finally able to sit upright again.

Patrick wiped her cheeks with his thumbs. “You’ve done nothing wrong. I see the reasoning behind what you were taught as a Sister, but good intent doesn’t make up for years of you suppressing instincts that are now being supported by that very same institution.”

“Thankfully, I’ve also had years to work on retraining myself,” Shelagh said, a tentative smile on her face. “You’ve been quite helpful there.”

Patrick’s forehead crinkled. “I have?”

“Maybe not in so many words, but you reached for my hand when I was still afraid to name what I was feeling for you. You wrapped me in your coat when I was lost and cold on the road back to Poplar. You’ve held me time and time again as I’ve cried without me having to say a word - not five minutes ago, even! You have shown me that physical affection can be simple, natural, and meaningful, and it doesn’t diminish the quality of our love or our professionalism.”

“And here I thought I was merely capitalizing on my chances to show my devotion to my lovely wife,” Patrick said, squeezing Shelagh’s hands where they lay in his own. “I’ll always be here if and when you reach out, Shelagh.”

“I know, Patrick. I’ve always known that.” Shelagh leaned up to kiss her husband at that. “And I’m going to let myself reach out to you and to our friends more. I don’t want to give people a show, of course, but I’ve barely let myself hold your hand in public out of concern for propriety. I think we’re still within the bounds of good taste if we go a little beyond that, don’t you?”

“I should say so,” Patrick said, pressing another kiss to Shelagh’s smile. “But I could have a hidden agenda.”

“A hidden agenda? I’m not sure what you mean,” Shelagh teased, rolling onto her back and pulling Patrick on top of her.

“Let me explain.” Patrick leaned down and proceeded to illuminate his agenda quite thoroughly, adding a few items to Shelagh’s own in the process. When they had finally finished, Shelagh curled up with her head on Patrick’s chest, feeling sleep begin to claim her.

“Somehow I don’t think I’m going to add any of what we just did to my ideas of what’s appropriate in public,” she murmured, laughing softly. “But I’m happy for some things to remain just for us.”

“There’s a time and a place for everything,” Patrick agreed.

The last thing Shelagh felt before drifting off was a light kiss to her hair, an action she was all too willing to repeat the next morning as they opened up the surgery. The almost comical look of shock on Miss Higgins’ face in result gave her another reason to keep pushing her former boundaries - after all, where else was she going to find this level of amusement?

#call the midwife #call the midwife fic #turnadette #turnadette fic #jen does words #g: fluff #but also kinda #g: hurt/comfort

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voodoo-writer · 3 years

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V living with the Aldecaldos!

I don’t know why no one is talking about this or writing about it, so I’ll have to step in. My female V is a nomad and I’ve just finished Panam-side quest. And oh my god, it left such an impression on me. This is my first playthrough and even though I know most of the endings, I have not reached one myself. But the Aldecaldos, the family, the FEELS. Can’t stop thinking about it.

English is not my first language, so if you can let me know if it is readable, I’d gladly appreciate it!

Imagine for a second, V is not dying, V is safe and secure with Aldecaldos.

– First thing first. V is in love with the guitarist guys. The ones that play music by campfire in the middle of the camp. She loves to sit near them in the evening, listening to the music, reminiscing about the past, the present and the future.

– At some point she even asks Cassidy to teach her how to play the guitar. It is not like the old veteran is against it, so V gets her daily guitar lesson early in the morning to refill her «energy» for the rest of the day.

– If V needs some quiet time, she goes to Carol’s tent. Even though V is more like a good techie, rather than a netrunner, she likes to listen about Blackwall or old times from Carol. And it is not like Carol minds her presence, so sometimes V will just sit near her and watch what is she doing with any radio channel/computer net and stuff. It is interesting.

– V is always there to help Bob with any piece of equipment, if he needs help, of course. Though, she tries not to disturb him, because she thinks they did not bond well in their «train-journeys». She is a newbie in the clan, after all.

– Bob won’t ever tell the truth, but sometimes he breaks stuff on purpose, so he could call her for help. He’ll take the secret to the grave, though the look in the eyes of V when she knows she is needed is precious. The «kid» has a lot on her plate, so if he can make her happy for even a little bit – he’ll do so.

– Sometimes V comes to Mitch to speak about Scorpion. She is still guilty about his death and won’t listen to anyone who tells her otherwise. They speak about anything, the war, food he liked, how did they all meet. It helps coping with the guilt.

– V sleeps a lot in the camp. When she is in NC, everywhere and everything is dangerous, even her own apartment. Here? She is surrounded by family, clan members, best friends. Usually, she sleeps somewhere no one can see her, or at least she thinks so (Most of the time she unknowingly sleeps near Panam or Saul, since the closer to the leader you are – the safer it gets).

– She speaks about the Bakkers with Saul or Panam. Sometimes to share the similarities or assist, sometimes when it is too hard to cope with everything alone.

– In NC she tries everything to protect the Aldecaldos. Every fixer knows that V is with them and she will bring hell if someone tries to threaten her family. Since V is a popular merc, the clan starts to get more gigs for themselves. V is happy about it.

– She visits Misty time to time. Her cards are not so grim anymore. V starts to think that maybe even she can get a happy ever after.

– V still can’t forget Jackie. She can be fine one moment and the next it is like she is close to a panic attack. Staying with the family helps, truly.

– V likes to sit on windmills near the camp. It is very dangerous and Panam always nag her about it, well who listens to Panam anyway, am I right? On top, it is almost silent. All V can hear is wind, turbines and the sound of her own heart beating strongly.

#panam #panam palmer #v #cyberpunk #cyberpunk 2077 #saul bright #aldecaldos #mitch #mitch anderson #saul #female v #i just wanted to express my thoughts and headcanons

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lov3nerdstuff · 4 years

Text

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 6.4}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 4.7k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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The moment they were back in Snape's office, Robin got started on making them coffee. It was early afternoon by now, and she was well aware that there still was plenty of work to be done before they could move on over to the lab. Once again she offered her help with his work, but his (admittedly very much justified) objection remained that he couldn't let her grade other students' essays, and Robin had to accept that. Thus she merely sat down at the smaller table with her own coffee after handing him his, and henceforth listened to him complaining about the many stupid mistakes the second years had made in their essays. Eventually it became a real game between them, to keep a list of the most ridiculous things people had written in their essays, and to rank them by their level of idiocy. Robin, void of anything else to do for once, actually wrote it all down on a piece of parchment, both the most ridiculous statements and the ranking points they had given them.

In the end, they successfully managed to miss dinner entirely, as their game was more entertaining than either of them had anticipated. But the work was done, and Robin was proud to say that she had made it less dreadful for him after all. Even if not entirely on purpose, but still very much willingly.

"You know, you could probably fill an entire lesson just with reading out the dumbest quotes on this list and have the students figure out why it's so wrong." Robin sighed with a smirk as she stretched in her chair. The piece of parchment in front of her looked almost like a piece of art at this point, littered not only with the most desperately wrong quotes from the essays, but also Robin's corrections of them, as well as some extended elaborations on the matter and little drawings of ingredients. Yes, she had been that bored between judging ridiculous quotes.

"I could. Should I, however?" He raised an eyebrow at Robin with a not-smirk while he got up from behind his desk at last, only to sit down again across from her at the small table. Without taking his eyes off hers, he snatched the piece of parchment out from under her fingertips and only then lowered his gaze to inspect it. A few seconds passed before he frowned, and Robin smiled.

"I think you should." She remarked innocently, replying to his earlier question while leaning back in her chair. "Have them correct the mistakes, that is, not mock the person who made them."

"I am surprised that you bothered to correct them."

"Didn't have much else to do between judging students' idiocracy. Besides, at this point I really should know the second year topics, shouldn't I? Did them twice, after all."

"Twice because…?"

"Once in my own second year and then again last year when tutoring Jorien and Cas. So technically I only did them once, and then tried to teach them a second time."

"You still tutor your roommates regularly?"

"Yeah." Robin shrugged with a smile. "Not just them though, and by far not only in potions. Just this morning I actually had sixteen students, can you imagine?! Sixteen thirteen-year-olds! And they actually listened to what I said!!!"

Now Snape's eyebrows rose in surprise, but the not-smirk turned into a real one; small, but definitely visible. "I had no idea that was even a possibility."

"Me neither!" Robin laughed, then kept on grinning. "So, just in case you get a suspicious amount of high quality essays from your third years next week, you know who to blame. Or who to thank."

"We will see about that." He replied with the same smirk, but then continued on a more serious note as he took another look at the parchment in his hands. "May I keep this?"

"Sure." Robin shrugged easily, and for whatever reason her heart skipped a beat. "I hope you can decipher all of it… I didn't specifically try for readability."

"I have been reading your handwriting for years, Robin. Not only in tests or essays written specifically to be handed in, but in scribbles and working notes as well. I would even say I know it quite as well as my own."

"Good." Robin couldn't help grinning at him with enough excitement to make him frown a little in suspicion. Before he could ask however, she had already summoned her handbook out of her backpack and dropped it on the table in front of him with a dull thud. "Because there's something else I have been dying to show you."

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A quiet rustling of sheets, soft breathing, hushed whispers. "Robin…" The mattress dipped gently at her side. She smiled, curling a little closer around the new source of warmth. "ROBIN!!!"

She jumped at the loud voice, sitting up with a start, and her head bumped against something hard in an instant.

"Ow…" She grumbled with a deep frown, rubbing her now aching forehead in an instant, while her eyes finally went into focus enough to see Cas sitting in front of her on her bed, rubbing her forehead just the same. Jorien sat on the other side, laughing at both their misery without a hint of guilt or pity.

"Very funny, you guys…" Robin groaned tiredly as she crossed her legs underneath her to make room for the two girls. "The last time you woke me up like this was-..."

"Happy birthday, Robin!" Both girls cheered before she could finish her sentence, and Robin had to smile despite the small mishap.

"Thank you! Is it really the twentieth already? Again?" She sighed, but by now she knew that resistance to Cas was hard, and resistance to Jorien was entirely futile.

"Twentieth of October, six o'clock in the morning!" Cas grinned, and crossed her legs as well while Jorien followed suit a few seconds later.

"Six?! Good gods…" Robin groaned exaggeratedly and frowned at them with a desperate smile. "Why on earth would you wake me up this early?"

"Because it's Thursday and our present for you requires some time before breakfast." Jorien replied factually, and Cas nodded in her usual giddy eagerness.

"Do I need to be scared?" Robin inquired with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile. She knew that look on their faces, and she knew that they were up to something. A second later, a small box very much like the one she had received last year was placed in her lap and Robin opened it with a curious smile. When her eyes fell onto the contents however, her brows furrowed, and she looked up at Cas and Jorien with a big question mark on her face.

"We're not doing anything you don't want to, of course… But you liked those onyx earrings so much when we went to Hogsmeade, so we decided to get them for you." Cas shrugged with an excited smile, and Jorien merely nodded in no less amusement.

"That is very sweet of you, but you realize that I don't actually have any holes in my ears but the ones nature demands, yes?"

"Yet. That is part of the present." Cas replied mischievously, and both girls smiled at Robin in a way that made her realize that they were absolutely serious in what they were planning to do. It humored her more than it probably should have.

"Alright." Robin said with an easy smile. "Thank you for the lovely present. If you take joy in stabbing holes into my skin, feel free to. I don't mind."

"Wait… really?!" Cas frowned incredulously. "I thought you were going to protest! I prepared an entire speech to convince you that it was for the best!"

"I told you she would be all for it." Jorien shrugged at her friend, with a humored smile similar to the one Robin wore herself. "And you didn't write a speech, you practiced saying 'please' in as many ways as possible."

"Don't tell her that!" Cas protested with a roll of her eyes, and Robin merely had to chuckle at the two of them. They were like an old married couple sometimes, and it was hilarious and adorable at once to observe. Cas turned to Robin once again. "Anyway, we asked McGonagall for a spell to pierce your ears that wouldn't blow your head off along the way, so you don't have to worry about a thing. It's all approved and safe for use."

"I'm not worried." Robin replied easily, and really she thought the idea was rather sweet. It was such a typical teenager thing to do… something of the kind she had never spent a second thinking about before now. But to Cas and Jorien it actually seemed to be of immense importance to do this themselves, and Robin felt touched that they included her in their spark of youthful rebellion. And she wouldn't mind getting her ears pierced after all. "So… You actually asked McGonagall for a spell?"

"Who did you expect us to ask?! What Professor Snape is for you, McGonagall is for Jorien. I'm just swimming on her wave." Cas explained, then motioned for Jorien to go ahead and do the actual work. A typical Cas move, giving the speech and leaving the work for someone else. "This is probably going to hurt, so you might want to grab something."

"Don't worry, it takes a lot to hurt me these days." Robin sighed and for once, she would just have to trust them; there wasn't much that could go wrong anyway. "But try to keep my head intact, alright?"

Ten minutes later, and luckily without any accidents, Robin had two neat holes in her ears and could at last make use of the gift she'd received. Two studs of black onyx, small but just as gorgeous as she remembered them to be from the two times they had looked at them through the shopwindow in Hogsmeade. She smiled when she looked at herself in the mirror, admiring the subtle new detail about her appearance. The deep black really was a sharp contrast to her ashen skin, but so was her dark hair anyway. The new piece of jewelry probably wouldn't be all too noticeable in comparison to that.

"You look absolutely gorgeous, birthday girl…" Cas declared dramatically, still lounging on Robin's bed even while Robin herself had gotten up. "Now we just need to get a little colour onto your face and you're ready to seize this day!"

Robin spun around to face them in an instant, glaring at the two girls in both horror and defense. There was a lot she would let them do to her, but that most definitely did not include turning her into a canary! "Cas no! Absolutely not!"

"Cas yes!"

"Jorien?" Robin pleaded with both her tone and her eyes while moving back over to her bed and to the girls. "I already let you make holes into my ears!"

"Sorry, but it's all part of our present." Jorien shrugged with a sympathetic half smile before she moved off the bed to get ready. "Just let it happen."

"What is your present if it includes piercing my ears and painting my face?!"

"We're making you pretty, dumbass! Like they do in the movies!" Cas groaned loudly and rolled off the bed as well to pad back towards her own. "You're bloody 17 now! And you still don't have any dates! We're trying to get you one."

"Not that again…" Robin sighed in return, hiding her head in her hands for a moment to regain some composure before she started getting dressed for the day of classes. "Don't you guys have anything better to do than meddling in my affairs?"

"No." Both Jorien and Cas replied at the same time, then giggled at their synchrony, and Robin finally had to realize that resistance was futile indeed. Sometimes living with thirteen-year-olds demanded a sacrifice; sometimes Robin just had to make concessions to their youth. And honestly, she couldn't deny them a thing, being as excited as they were about this now.

"Fine…" She sighed at last, mindlessly buttoning up her blouse with long practiced moments, then tugged it into her trousers. "You may paint my face if it means so much to you. But I'll get the bathroom first, now and all to myself. And I forbid you to use anything actually colourful."

"But colour is the best part! It's ALL colour!!!" Cas cried as she struggled into her tights. "Some charcoal would do wonders on your eyes!"

"Black isn't actually a colour but a value." Jorien corrected with a roll of her eyes. "So technically you can use all the black, white and grey you want."

"Precisely! Thank you, Jorien, your thought-out input is always very much appreciated." Robin smiled proudly at the girl, who in return grinned to herself upon the praise. "Now, do we have an agreement? I get the bathroom first and you will use no colours, but you may otherwise do with my hair and face as you please. Deal?"

"Deal!"

… … …

In the end, Robin had to make another compromise: in exchange for not getting any brown paste and powder onto her face, which Cas seemed to be very fond of unfortunately, she had to agree to let them use colours, dark colours, on her eyes. Thus Robin ended up sitting on her bed, sighing repeatedly, while Cas painted her face and Jorien braided her hair. Honestly, she still didn't know how or why exactly she (the older one!) had become their dress up doll, but under the pretext of 'making her look pretty for her birthday', Robin still found herself unable to deny them. Even if, on the inside, she very much felt like running.

When all three of them made their way towards the great hall for breakfast at last, Robin still felt mildly uncomfortable. The braid Jorien had forced her hair into was rather charming actually, and also very much useful to keep the wavy, bushy mess out of her face, but she wasn't so sure about the 'smokey' black, brown and green Cas had layered around her eyes. Robin felt more like a raccoon than herself… but in comparison to what some (few) of her classmates wore on a daily basis, or those women in the magazines Cas read instead of books, it still was subtle enough to tolerate for a day. Makeup may be fun for some other people, which was fine, but it most definitely wasn't for Robin and she had a rather strong interest in not repeating this masquerade. Oh well… she still would be racoon-Robin for a day now. Besides, it would break the girls' hearts if she didn't suffer through it with a smile on her face, so that's what she did as they hurried to breakfast.

"And where would we be coming from?" A taunting voice stopped all three of them just outside the great hall, and Robin had to smile while the other two looked rather panicked upon the unexpected appearance of their potions teacher. "Miss Miller, Miss Blakeley… Punctuality is a virtue, not an option. Breakfast started fifteen minutes ago. You are late."

"So are you, professor..." Robin replied with an innocent smile, which however turned into more of a smirk as soon as her eyes met his. "Isn't that a funny coincidence?"

Snape approached them with long strides and his usual public facade, and the closer he came, the more Cas and Jorien hid behind Robin. She still didn't understand how they could miss the humor in his face that even now was obvious as day! All they saw was the menacing scowl he wanted them to see. That they probably wanted to see as well; expectation and prejudice were the masters of deceit in one's own mind.

"Funny." He said to Robin in a particularly flat tone that made her bite her lip to keep from laughing, then he turned to look at Jorien and Cas instead. "You two would do well to be on time from now on, even if for a mere meal. I tolerate no slacking. Now find your seats before your classmates leave nothing but their empty plates for you." With that, he motioned for them to get going, clasping his hands behind his back with that indifferent look that made Robin smile even more.

"Robin…? Are you coming?" Jorien asked carefully while Cas straight out started walking off already, gaining as much distance to Snape as possible until she disappeared out of sight. Jorien still stood between Robin and the doors, looking at her insecurely.

"You should be fine without your precious Robin for five minutes, or is that too much to ask?" Snape drawled in feigned annoyance, and Robin gave him a look before turning to Jorien.

"I'll be there in five minutes, just save me a seat and some toast, will you?" She smiled at the girl as positively as possible, who only nodded with a weak smile in return before quickly following behind Cas, out of sight.

"Did you have to scold them for something so minor?" Robin finally asked as she turned back to Snape with a small frown. "They were only late because of me, or rather because of what they did for me. Today, at least…" Really, they were usually late for all meals. No matter what day it was, and no matter if they were with Robin or without her.

"Had they been any later, all they would have found left is scrapings. It might have slipped your notice, but their classmates are more animals than civilised beings when it comes to meals." He pointed out calmly, and Robin had to sigh. He was right. "Unless you wish to show them how to use the kitchens or leave them to fend for themselves in the future, I would prefer to teach them punctuality."

"Yeah, alright, I see your point." She said with another sigh. "Nevermind. I usually prefer being early anyway."

"I am aware." He replied with a not-smirk, upon which Robin had to smile again as well. "Is that colour in your face the reason for your mutual lateness?"

"Ah, well, yes." Robin chuckled awkwardly, and before she knew her fingers nervously brushed over the rough spot of skin on her neck again. "It is, uh… it's part of their birthday present to me, I guess. They insisted on it."

For a moment Snape observed her closely, with a curious frown that made Robin feel both nervous and tingly. He leaned a little closer for a second, then back again. "Something else about you is different than it was yesterday evening, but I cannot tell what it is."

"Well, uh, I also let them pierce my ears, because they really wanted to, so it's probably that." Robin shrugged with an almost apologetic frown. Did he observe everyone that closely? Probably.

His eyebrows rose in surprise, torn between incredulity, humor and irritation. "Why would you let them do all that to you? I was under the impression that people did nice things for others on their birthdays…"

"They gave me earrings, so they also had to make sure I could wear them. And as for the colour on my face… you better don't ask what made them do that to me." She shrugged again, deeming the way he said 'nice' highly amusing. "I let them do it because it quite obviously made them happy."

"It is your birthday. People are supposed to ensure you are happy."

"Oh, I'm quite happy as it is." Robin replied with a small smirk, and a soaring heart once more. "I can manage looking like a raccoon for the day. Perhaps it'll scare Morgan off at least."

A quiet snort escaped him before he could make an effort to remain stoic, and even then he seemed to struggle not to smirk. "Raccoon certainly is not what I think of when I look at you, Robin. But you make me curious about their reason to obviously try for exactly that visual."

Now Robin had to snort as well, shaking her head to herself. Damn, she didn't want to tell him… but she also knew that she could deny him even less than the two girls. What was it about the people she cared about?! The only weak spot she knew of, and they all were entirely oblivious to it.

"If you have to know, they wanted to make me look pretty for the day." She sighed, but as soon as he even made an attempt to reply, she added, "Don't. Please. No scorn or mocking on my birthday. I know I look stupid, but I have to make concessions if I want to keep my sanity when living with them, and this was such an instance. I could have looked far worse."

"I was merely going to say that they obviously have a strange concept of beauty if they are blind enough to try to cover it up with paint." He said as if it wasn't enough to make Robin's entire body feel too hot all of a sudden. Actually, he didn't even seem to realize what exactly he had just said in the first place as he went on. "I do very well understand your need to make concessions, and your diplomacy is certainly appropriate. However you don't have to tolerate everything they do to you merely because I told you to watch over them."

"I know. That's not why I do it, not at all." She sighed, regaining control over her heartbeat by simply ignoring what he hadn't even said on purpose. "They care about me, they really do, and they only want the best for me in their own kind of way. A thirteen-year-old way, which unfortunately entails trying to draw more positive attention to me."

He frowned at that, with a lingering hint of amusement. "They paint your eyes black to draw positive attention to you? How… curious."

"I know, right?" She huffed in both humor and dread. "I for my part like black better than anything else they could've put on my fave, but it's probably the wrong colour to make other people think 'pretty' and not 'scary'. I forbid them to use bright colours though, so perhaps it is my fault that I'll scare people off all day, which I do almost every day anyway, so-..."

"Robin." He quirked an eyebrow at her, and Robin took a deep breath to untangle the mess in her head that caused her to ramble.

"Yes. Sorry. Nevermind, just forget about it."

"Give me your hand." He ordered calmly an instant later, holding his own out to her with his palm facing up. Robin's heart skipped a beat, but she did as he said without question, placing her hand in his only to feel the familiar surge of electricity running up her arm and through her body.

To her surprise, he turned her hand around to rest in his with the inside facing up as well. Then, without a word, a small spark of light flickered to life inside her palm. It glowed softly in different colours that came and went so quickly it left the light white, an addition of all colours, and yet black at once in its subtraction. Robin couldn't have described it even if she'd wanted to, for her eyes and mind were too drawn to their hands to even try such a thing. The spark grew, not into a bigger light, but into a shape, a web of atoms that made up matter one by one. It grew, blossomed and rooted until at last it took on the unmistakable shape of a flower. A flower Robin had never seen before, one that was entirely black in its impossible existence, but yet consisted of all the colours in existence indeed. She couldn't take her eyes of it as it rested in her palm, all light gone but the impossible colours remained. His hand was still curled around hers, long fingers brushing against the delicate skin of her wrist beneath the cuff of her blouse… Robin didn't know which of the two fascinated, enchanted her more. Perhaps both did, in a different way.

"Now, would you expect someone to deem this flower scary?" He asked after a few seconds, dropping his hand from hers at last.

"No…" Robin replied quietly, holding the blossom in her palm like the greatest treasure. "It's beautiful, breathtaking even. I've never seen anything like it."

"Because it stems from your mind alone, which makes it entirely unique in its existence."

"But, how… I mean…" She didn't even know what to say, leave alone what to think, neither in a positive nor in a negative way. Why had he shown this beautiful piece of magic to her? Why hadn't she known that he could do something like this in the first place?! The overwhelming urge to be closer to him overcame her when she looked up at him, and it couldn't even be lessened by his perfect neutral facade. Gods, why did he always hide when she wanted to see him the most?! "Why?"

"It is nothing but a reminder that darkness does not scare everyone." He replied neutrally, neither bothering to feign indifference nor to let his honest expression shine through. A few seconds passed in silence, and they merely looked at each other as they did so often.

"Thank you." Robin finally said, giving him the most sincere smile that had graced her lips all day. "It's a lovely gift."

"It isn't a gift." He was quick to respond though, frowning first, then looking almost humored again. "But it might counteract the racoon visual nonetheless."

Robin chuckled, closing her eyes for a second to dwell in the happiness of the moment. The overwhelming bunch of emotions tied to the impossible flower in her hand. "Well, thank you either way. I appreciate your help with my facial issues."

Finally the not-smirk was back on his face, and if Robin wasn't mistaken, so was the humor in his eyes. "What kind of… person would I be if I didn't help you even with the most obscure problems?" Again he raised his eyebrows at her, and she smiled brightly enough to light up the entire hallway, until he spoke on. "That, among other things, is why I want you to be prepared at two o'clock this afternoon."

"Huh?" Robin's brows furrowed into a deep frown in an instant. "Prepared for what?"

"To play along." He smirked for real this time, quite obviously basking in her confusion. "You will see."

Then, without another word, Snape turned on his spot and disappeared down the hallway towards the dungeons before Robin could say another thing. Two seconds later, the doors to the great hall were opened by the first students already leaving breakfast, and they stormed the hallway with enough noise and chattering to break Robin free of her frozen state. Did Snape actually enjoy being that cryptic?! He probably did; insufferable idiot.

Robin sighed to herself, looking at the flower in her hand in careful consideration, then moved to tie it into her hair with a smile. Having this little piece of magic with her, his magic, would certainly make her day a lot better, even if it was prone to cause her constant tingles. Who cares… it was her birthday, she could allow herself to enjoy one single day of dwelling in her feelings. And besides, nobody had to know who had given her such an impossible flower; it wasn't a gift after all, just a point proven.

As Robin made her way into the great hall at last, hoping that at least some kind of food was left for her, she wondered what would be happening at two o'clock. She really couldn't wait to know. Then again, the anticipation and excitement of not knowing was also quite delightful. Two o'clock… that was a third into her defense against the dark arts class. And that meant whatever was going to happen, it could only be an improvement.

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mayraki · 4 years

Text

⋆⁑lost in the MORTAL WORLD ⁑⋆

jj maybank x witch!au

~ chapter four ~

final

sequel for ⋆⁑lost in HALLOWEEN TOWN ⁑⋆

masterlist | chapter three

“The Final Battle”

“Invisibilia.” Lia whispered with her hands lifted into the air. JJ, who was standing behind her, looked how a thin white line appeared in front of Lia, but then quickly disappeared.

“What did you do?”

“I made a circle around us, to turn us invisible. But don’t touch it, otherwise it’s going to turn off.” She said softly without turning to see JJ on the face. JJ nodded, not knowing what to say next. What just happened a couple of minutes ago was still going through his mind. Lia? Half angel? How is that possible? And what did that meant? All those answers that only Lia knew, or at least, that’s what JJ hoped.

He turned around with the intention to look for a place to sit and maybe relax his brain, the little lake that they both had next to them was a making a beautiful noise when it hit the rocks, so JJ walked closer it and sat down on top a large enough rock to support his body. He let his elbows rest on his knees and his hands to hang relaxing them. Seconds later, Lia sat down next to him. “I guess you’re looking for an explanation.” She said softly but without looking at him, her eyes were glued to the water passing by.

“I guess.” JJ said staring at her.

Before starting with the story, Lia took a deep breath and closed her eyes, letting every lesson she had come to her. “It was a long time ago. Dark, really dark times. People couldn’t even leave their houses because they the were so afraid of getting killed, or... getting captured by the creature that you saw in the profecy.”

“What is that creature?”

“It’s called the Demonem Inferni, which means The Demon Of Hell.”

“So... Lucifer?” JJ asked with hesitation in his voice, but Lia shook her head.

“No, Lucifer isn’t a demon, he’s an angel... a fallen angel, but still, an angel. He’s not a demon. Some people say that this creature is even worst than Lucifer, and, well... more powerful. But those are just theories. Some demons can’t leave hell just because, they get weaker here on Earth, others need the approval of Lucifer or their purpose is to follow orders... to kill someone. In 1977 there was a break, the Demonem Inferni left hell, and it went to Halloween Town. Those people that you saw, fighting, those were people from my home.”

“But,” JJ said, trying to get in the mind of someone that lived their whole lives with magic, even if all of this was too much to process. “Lucifer, couldn’t he just end it?”

“No, the Demons don’t belong to Lucifer, he’s the King of Hell, but they don’t belong to him. Once they’re out of Hell, he can’t order them to stop. So, the Demonem Inferni attacked Halloween Town that year.”

“Is that the war we saw?” JJ asked and immediately noticed the change in Lia’s face. She looked down and started to caress her arms with her hands when she slowly shook her head.

“No.” She said so softly that it was almost covered by the wind blowing around their bodies. “It took the whole town by surprise. My granddad, he fought in that war... but, he got killed.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” JJ said getting closer to Lia’s body to get a little bit of warmth to their bodies.

“He was a good man- or at least, that’s what my grandma always tells me.” Lia, for the first time, let out a tiny laugh remembering all those crazy stories Evanora would always tell her. “After that war, living in Halloween Town was... horrible. More awful than both of us could ever imagine, but people didn’t give up. That’s where the organisation my parents would soon join-” Lia was saying quickly but then stopped, to let out a tiny sigh “or at least that’s what I believed, was created. Anyway, my grandma with a bunch of other people created it, under the creature’s eyes, to defeat it. To finally gain the old Halloween Town. It took years or research, reading history and learning about demons to see what could destroy it, but there was nothing. People were staring to lose hope, but then, the Profecy happened.”

“How?” JJ asked, who was carefully listening to every word Lia was saying.

“One day... a ball of light came into the room where the organisation was having a meeting, and it just said it. Just like we heard it. The people started to look how to contact them, books, they traveled, old magic, dark magic, but they kept hitting dead ends. Until, another ball of light appeared, but this time, on my grandmother’s room. The ball said the call to her, what it was, she would always told me that she never ran so fast in her life, she had to tell the other what it was. She never told me though, she would always say that it was too dangerous... but now I think I understand why she never did, the real reason. Maybe I could’ve find out it was them.”

“Your parents.” JJ said and Lia nodded.

“Yeah. So, in the next war, a couple of years later, when the people rebelled against the creature, the organisation called upon the angel of God, and the inheritor of the Phoenix. And they won, after they appeared, just like the profecy said.” For the first time, Lia locked eyes with JJ, they were so close that JJ got the need to get closer and touch her lips with his, but she spoke again. “My parents, unbelievable. It just- it can’t be.”

“Why not?” He asked.

“JJ, the story about the angel of God and the inheritor of the Phoenix is one of the most famous stories in the wizardly world. How the angel appeared from the sky with her wings and then the inheritor of the Phoenix walked with his sword in hand, the sword that nobody can pick up expect if you’re a descendant of the Phoenix. They teach it on schools, they talk about it in bars, it’s the most tell story out there, it’s basically God and the Phoenix working together and-” Lia stopped to say more calmly, still with her brain trying to fully process it. “it’s about my parents.” She said like she was trying to convince herself of her own words.

“That’s what Amethyst said.” JJ said when the memory of the physic appeared on his mind like a fast truck, he didn’t even questioned why he remembered so much out of nowhere.

“What?” Lia asked furrowing her eyebrows and turning to lock eyes with him.

“She said that she saw power in your future, and not the kind that you have right now. Meaning... witch, right?” Lia nodded. “So, that other part of you, that’s what she saw.”

“I guess.”

“But, what does that mean?” Lia bit her lower lip thinking of the answer. Her brain couldn’t believe it, so she took a couple of seconds to think of her next words.

“Angels were created by God, meaning they’re one of the most powerful creatures out there. They’re so complex that I don’t even know everything about them, so... I don’t know what it means. I know that an angel of God can’t marry a wizard. But my parents were. So, I guess they fell in love, and- she must’ve gave up all of her powers to be with my father.” It looked like Lia understood a part of the story, since they way that she said it sounded like a conlusion she let out loud.

“I didn’t know you could do that, as an angel.” JJ added.

“Me neither, but I can’t think of another way they could’ve gotten married and had me. And then, since what sent the ball of light to my grandma, choose her, my parents must’ve stayed with her and became a family. That’s what they met Jervis’s parents as well... until they all disappeared. Another mystery yet to uncover.” They both stared at the water while their brains proceeded the new information. The only thing that was hitting their ears was the water moving and some birds chirping on the trees. It was a beautiful scenario, if they could forget all the ugly thoughts their minds were having. Specially Lia.

Thinking that you know everything about your parents and who they were to suddenly knowing they were something completely different isn’t nice. Specially if it’s something as big as being a creature from outside the wizardly world, and with that, finding out that you’re something else as well. Lia honestly didn’t know what it meant being an angel, and if she was... where are her wings? Maybe being half meant no wings, but the powers of an angel aren’t simple, why didn’t she felt something through her life? Maybe she did, but passed it as something normal that witches do. All those thoughts and questions without answers, only theories. But they were something, otherwise Lia felt like her mind was going to end up eating her alive.

She closed her eyes, trying to relax her mind for a second, when the memory of Amethyst words came back to her mind. The partner. A woman’s voice spoke on her mind. She got confused but then quickly brushed it off, having way more important questions to answer. She still had to find him. But the partner for what? What was his purpose? Why she needed someone by her side? The profecy. The woman spoke again. What about the profecy? Why did it had to do with the partner? There’s no- Lia stopped thinking when it hit her. And it looked like JJ was thinking the same thing, since when she turned to him to tell him what she was thinking, he had his eyes wide open. “The partner.” They both said at the same time.

“If Amethyst saw him with me, that means-” Lia stopped not wanting to say those words, so JJ said them for her.

“That means, the one who has to complete the profecy this time, it’s you.”

⋆ ⋆

“Ok, what do we know so far?” JJ asked when the moon was in the sky and the only thing illuminating their surroundings was the fire that Lia made.

“The Demon of Hell already knows I’m here because he sent a mud demon to kill me yesterday, and I have to destroy him with someone I don’t even know yet with powers I didn’t even knew I had an hour ago and that I don’t know how to control them.” Lia nodded. “Yeah, we’re good.”

“I have a question.” JJ asked brushing the terrifying thought Lia just passed him. “If your dad was the inheritor of the Phoenix, doesn’t that make you also the inheritor of the Phoenix?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. But Amethyst saw me with someone, fighting the Demon of Hell, so he has the be the one.”

JJ nodded and then, for the first time, his brain was blank. “Ok... where do we go next?”

“Now, we have to wait for morning, it’s safer. And tomorrow, we go after it. Hopefully, the compass will tell us where to go.”

They both nodded agreeing to the plan. After a long time of her brain being full of thoughts that would make her head hurt, Lia finally let her brain relax. She felt how her breathing slowly went back to normal and it was not heavy or thick, her lips were relaxed while her back rested against a giant rock. JJ, who was in front of her, was playing with some tiny rocks, shifting them from hand to hand, with full of thoughts on his head. Lia stopped for a moment to look at him deeply. His boots were covered in dry mud as well as his shorts, his rings were hitting the rocks and making a tiny sound, and his hair was slowly being moved by the wind. The moment that Lia looked at his hand remembered the time he hugged her tightly to calm her down, or the way that he grabbed her when they kissed for the first time... his hand was warm that would instantly make her feel that on her skin. His touch was something that Lia never experienced before, it was another type of touch. He wanted to protect her. That’s what he said. He wanted to protect her because he loved her. Lia felt how her heart skipped a beat when she remembered those words coming out of his mouth, she couldn’t stop replaying them on and on. It was like a broken CD. But there was nothing broken in those words, Lia knew what they meant as well as JJ, but the fear of talking about it was stronger than anything else going on those bodies. “Thanks for helping me, JJ.” Lia said breaking the silence. Immediately, JJ locked eyes with her. “You don’t have to do this but you’re still here. So... thanks.”

JJ let out a tiny smile and then looked down, avoiding her eyes when his heart started to beat faster. “And I’ll do it again. If I had the chance to change something about my parents I would.” Lia didn’t respond immediately. The thought about him and his mystery dad appeared on her mind, she wanted to ask him about it, but she didn’t know how. Or if it was something too out forward that could tense JJ. She wanted to know more about him, he knew everything there was about her, but she didn’t know anything about him. Lia knew that there was so much to JJ than he let everyone know, the reason why was unknown for her, but for her surprise, JJ spoke before she could think of something else. “I don’t... have the best relationship with my dad.” He said softly with his eyes still glued to the rocks on his hands.

“What about your mom?” She asked in the same tone, hoping to learn more about him.

“She left, when I was a kid.” JJ responded quickly.

Lia felt so bad for him, having to deal with your parents leaving because they don’t want to be with you is something that Lia could never understand, and the fact that JJ did everything he could to understand and help her family, made her feel even more bad for him when she didn’t know how to help him. “I’m sorry to hear that, JJ.” That’s all Lia knew what to say.

“That’s why I want to help you, amongst other things, because I don’t want you to go through that, the same as me.”

“Is there something I can do?”

JJ shook his head biting the corner of his lower lip. “Nah. Giving me this adventure is more than enough.” He looked up with a tiny smile on his face. Lia gave him one back, but she knew that smile took him a lot of strength.

“We’re always up for a new adventure.”

“That’s right.” JJ said. Lia, instead of continuing with the conversation, she decided to look up. She had that habit, when she felt that way she would always look up to the sky and seek comfort. See the clouds moving, the sun shining or the stars and the moon illuminating the dark sky. She couldn’t help but let out a tiny laugh when those memories went back to her head.

“What?” JJ asked looking to where Lia was staring.

“I always thought that stars on the sky were angels on heaven. So whenever I felt bad or sad, I would just come outside and stare at the stars. Sometimes I even pretended that one of them was my mom... it’s kinda funny now that I think about it. And knowing what I know now.”

JJ agreed and let out a tiny laugh with Lia. “It kinda is.” Laughing together gave each other a little bit of warmth on their bodies. Lia kept wondering how would’ve been like if she had to go through all of this alone, finding out that everything she knew wasn’t really true and that there was a part of her that was yet to be descovered, what if JJ wasn’t there? The question if she would’ve survived this alone was something that she would never know the answer to, but at the same time, a part of her head was telling her that she wouldn’t have.

“All of this, it just- doesn’t sound real.” Lia said softly. “Like an old story that my grandma used tell me before going to bed. A fairy tale.”

“Well, a month ago I thought that stories about witches were fairy tales. So... I guess you never know.” JJ said and Lia let out another tiny laugh, and this time, looking back at JJ.

“This must be really strange for you.”

“You have no idea.”

“I’m thankful that you’re here with me.” Lia said even if she didn’t know where those words and courage came from. “Even if I wanted you to stay behind.”

“I’m glad that you didn’t chained me up against a tree or something so I would stay behind.” JJ said jokingly but when Lia didn’t laugh, he widen his eyes at the surprise.

“Why didn’t I do that? That sounds like a good idea.”

“No it doesn’t.” JJ responded so quickly that Lia let out a loud laugh, the first in a while. Again, without thinking about it, Lia looked up at the sky when the thought of fighting the Demon of Hell appeared on her mind. Her stomach turned so she took a breath to calm her already beating faster heart. JJ noticed how Lia suddenly became more uncomfortable with herself and her surroundings. He looked down to play with the rocks in his hands once again not really knowing what to do. Or, he did, but his mind was stopping him from doing it. He wanted to hug her, kiss her on that moment like last time. Comfort her and tell her that everything was going to be alright, but how does he do that when he doesn’t even know? He didn’t want to make an empty promise, he was used to people doing that to him.

“The truth is JJ... I’m scared.” Lia said and her voice cracked a little bit, making her words go into a whisper. “I don’t know who I am, what I am, my family is no longer my family, I don’t even know if my parents are alive at this point. Maybe Jervis was right, maybe this whole thing was a trap that the Demon of Hell did to get me.” Lia said quickly but then stopped to look back at JJ, who had his eyes glued to her, with sadness in them, as well as hers. “What if it is JJ?” She asked softly.

“Then we fight it either way.” JJ said once he got up and walked closer to her to sit down by her side. “You’re strong Lia, with your angel powers or not, you are. You destroyed the Tenebris not knowing this other half of you. Even if the Tenebris is nothing compared to the Demon of Hell, we’re going to find a way. There’s always another choice.” JJ, even if he had questions about everything, and didn’t even know what they were up against, he needed to be hopeful for her. That’s all that mattered.

“Yeah.” Lia said almost in a whisper when she unconsciously looked down to his lips. JJ, noticing, did the same but controlled himself when his hand wanted to grab her cheeks and pull her closer. But she didn’t stop staring at his lips, it was like her eyes were glued to them. So, ignoring what his brain was telling to him, he lifted his hand to grab her cheek and slowly caress it with his thumb. She closed her eyes enjoying his touch. Even if she didn’t want to admit it, she missed it. She missed his hugs, and even worst, she wanted to repeat the kiss again. Two friends going on an adventure. Lia kept repeating to herself on her head on and on. She couldn’t, they couldn’t happen. But his touch was stopping her from moving away, it was like she melted and they only way she could moved was by a lot of strength from her part.

“JJ, we can’t.” She said in a whisper that was almost brushed off by the wind.

“Why not?” JJ asked with his eyes closed uniting his forehead with hers.

“We’re too different.” With her hand, Lia grabbed his, the one that was on her cheek to slowly pull it away, but failed completely.

“Who says that we have to be the same to be together?” JJ answered immediately. Their breaths were mixing and the tension could be cut with a thin knife, there were only one step far from kissing and embracing each other, but somehow, that annoying thought on her mind was stronger than anything she felt for him.

“We’re way more different.” She said, opening her eyes and finally, taking his hand out of her cheek. “We can’t. I’m sorry.”

JJ opened his eyes to get his face away from hers and nodded, with pain on his chest. “It’s fine. You’re right. We come from different worlds. You wouldn’t go for a boy like me.” He said without hesitating. He didn’t know why he felt like that, why a sudden wave of anger hit his body, but it did, and his words were shooting without control.

“What are you talking about? I think you’re not understanding the real reason.” Lia followed JJ, who quickly got up.

“Maybe I am not.” JJ said firmly.

“Why are you getting mad at me for?” Lia said confused and hurt at the same time, why was JJ acting that way?

“I don’t know! I just am!” JJ yelled spitting it out.

“Well don’t!” Lia yelled back. “Because it’s not my fault that we’re too different, we don’t even belong to the same world!”

“Yeah maybe that’s my problem! Sometimes I just want to disappear from this one and I don’t know how! Then you came along and gave me hope that I might belong to something bigger, but I don’t! I’m just down to die in this shitty life that I have and I can’t do anything about it!” JJ, for the first time, told Lia how he felt for a long time. Lia was immediately left without words, she never expected JJ to feel that way. Yes, she knew that he loved her world and everything that came to it, but never she would’ve imagine that JJ wanted to disappear from his own world... That thought blew her mind, but not because he said that, because someone as special and amazing as JJ, felt that way.

Without hesitating, Lia walked closer to him and quickly wrapped her arms around her neck to pull him closer to and give his body warmth, in a tight hug. JJ immediately felt bad for throwing those words at her. It wasn’t her fault, but everyone just came out, and there was no turning back. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He said over and over again.

“Shhh.” Lia responded, caressing his hair with her fingers.

“You have all of this going on and I say this thing to you, to the person that doesn’t have the fault and it’s the only one that actually helped me. I’m sorry.” He kept apologising, but Lia shook her head when she broke the hug and locked eyes with him. With her two hands, she grabbed each one of JJ’s cheeks to pull him closer, so he could hear her words carefully.

“You don’t have to say sorry, not to me. Remember what you told me? There’s always another choice? You’re way more smarter than you give yourself credit for. And you’re so brave, willing to get into this fucking mess with me not even knowing what we’re up against. You’re here with me. The moment that you decided to be by my side you already started to belong with us, with me. No matter what you are or where you came from. What matters is what you decide to do with what you got, and who you become.”

This time, Lia was the one to touch his forehead with hers. Their breaths mixing and the calm that their touch gave the other was all they wanted. For that moment, they both wanted to enjoy each other. No thoughts about what they felt, their worlds, the Demon of Hell, Lia’s parents, only them and their touch. After a couple of seconds, JJ locked eyes with Lia, to give her a little smile. “Thanks.” He said softly.

Lia slowly nodded and answered with another smile, and before anything else could happen to ruin their moment, Lia said taking some steps back; “Maybe we should get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a weird day.”

⋆ ⋆

“If you ask me where do I think a Demon is hiding, I would definitely say this place.” JJ said looking at what him and Lia had in front.

A path covered in pointy branches and yellow leaves was where the compass was pointing at. There was dark and tall trees around it, making it the only way through be the deep path. Their surroundings were silent, the wind blowing was the only thing they could hear, making the scenery even more creepy than it already was on its own. But what they were seeing was nothing compared to what was on the other side.

“Ready?” Lia asked turning to JJ, who took a deep breath and locked eyes with her.

“Part of the adventure, right?” He asked and Lia let out a tiny smile, it was either that, or dying of how much fear was going through her body on that moment.

With slow steps, JJ and Lia headed to the path and carefully, tried to not get pinched by any branches pointing at them. Lia was walking in front of JJ, trying to be aware of her surroundings and be ready for anything, since there was no actual answer of where they really where. Anything could be there with them.

“Is the compass still pointing ahead of us?” JJ asked and Lia nodded.

“Yeah, and that makes me believe this is it. We are near the end.” She said, since the light that was coming from the end was becoming bigger and bigger as they were getting closer. They kept walking and walking what felt like hours, but in reality, only a couple of minutes had passed. Their feet were starting to hurt because of the thick branches on the floor, Lia and JJ got some scratches on their hands, and with heavy breathing, the arrived at the end of the path, finding out what the light was.

“And another cave.” JJ said, looking at the big whole that a mountain had in front of him.

“Are you surprised?” Lia asked getting closer to the entry.

“At this point, not really.” JJ answer, before following Lia. They both entered the cave realising it wasn’t much different from the first one, but this one, instead of one long line for them to walk through, there were two.

“So now what?” Lia asked.

“There’s two paths, and there’s two of us. The math is easy. Did you take math on first grade?” JJ asked jokingly but Lia didn’t laugh, she just shook her head.

“No, I’m not letting you go there alone when I don’t even know what it’s here. There’s no choice here.”

“Hey,” JJ left his hand on top of Lia’s shoulder to calm her down. “there’s always another choice, remember?” But Lia was not convinced. “C’mon, what’s the weirdest thing that could happen to me?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe running into the Demon Of Hell and him killing you because you are a mortal that can’t defend himself?” Lia said sarcastically. “JJ, it’s too dangerous.”

“If we want to know what’s here before anything else bad happens, we have to know as quickly as possible. You know that. It’s the only way, you go left, and I go right. We see what’s here and then we reunite on the entry, sound about right?” Lia didn’t respond since she was still not convinced, she just stared at JJ while thinking of another way, but JJ was right, there wasn’t. “C’mon, trust the mortal.” JJ said and Lia let out a tiny laugh.

“Be extra careful, alright? And as soon as you see something out of the ordinary you come back and yell my name.”

“And what if I see him?”

Lia let out a tiny sigh before saying, almost in a whisper: “You run, as fast as you can, not looking back.” Before JJ could say anything against it, she got closer to his face and left a kiss on his cheek, to finally start her way down her path.

When JJ waited for Lia to be out of his sight, he turned to his destined path and took a deep breath before going in deep. He looked around but there was nothing more than branches and rocks all over the floor. The air was so cold that he could see his breath leaving his mouth. As deeper as he got, the air he was breathing was becoming more thick than before, making it harder for him to breath normally. He needed to put a little bit of strength to it. The only noise he was hearing was his boots stepping on the rocks, they were all a color of dark blue but with a little bit of shine in them. But then, when a white light came from a far, he quickly walked closer to it to soon notice how the path ended and it lead him into a big space. The light was so strong he couldn’t see what he had in front of, he lifted his hand to protect his eyes from it and walk closer to it. But it soon the light seemed to be getting weaker and weaker as closer as he get, so he left his hand down to see if he could find out what it was making that light. But the least thing that he expected to be, was there kneeled down on the floor. It wasn’t an it, it was a she. Her long white hair that went with her long dress, her arms were covered in scratches that made JJ furrowed his eyebrows in pain. Her hands were chained up to the wall of the cave, he wondered why the chains were so thick for such a small person, maybe there was something more about her than JJ could understand. He stopped walking when she moved letting a part of her face be seen so he tried to get a better look at it, trying to figure out if he knew who she was. Maybe the random thoughts that would come to him would help him now, but nothing, his mind was empty. The woman moved his hair out of her face so JJ got the opportunity to see her face clearly, but so did she. As soon as she noticed someone was there with her, she looked up. They both stared at each other, no words were coming out of their mouths. JJ immediately recognised her so his heart dropped to his stomach, with shook in his eyes.

“It can’t be.” JJ whispered when the woman got up. “You can’t be her.”

“Why not?” The women spoke for the first time.

“How?” He asked with the little breath he had left in his body.

“There’s a lot of things you have to know, JJ Maybank.”

Maybe this was the weirdest that could happen to him.

⋆ ⋆

“It’s going to be ok. He’s going to be alright and so am I. I don’t even know what’s in this cave but it’s going to be fine. Even if I’m going to fight against something that’s way more powerful than me, it’s going to be fine. Is it? Yes! Yes, it’s going to be. Who am I kidding? This is nuts.” Lia, as she was walking through her path, was saying to herself. Even if she was careful of what was going around her, she still needed to talk to herself, that made her calm down and not her anxious about possibly being in danger.

The air around her was getting thicker and thicker as deeper as she got, so she started to breathe with her mouth and not waste energy on that. As soon as she got to the end of the path, she looked around at the huge cave that was in front of her. With her hand, created a ball of light since it was completely dark. The dark blue walls around her had tourches but too tall for her to lit up, she took a deep look into the walls when she noticed little bumps in them, but then, brushed it off when it looked normal. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary around her, just rocks and more rocks shining on their space. Until, something shined on Lia’s face.

“What?” She asked to herself when her eyes saw the sword of the inheritor of the Phoenix in front of her. It was on the floor surrounded by rocks, shiner than anything else around it. It was so big, that Lia thought it was the size of her arm, even longer. The tiny red rocks it had on the handle and sharpness of it, that could cut anything that would cross it’s way. The moment that she started to walk closer to it, the sound of rocks moving made her stop and be more alert. She looked around but nothing was there on her sight, with hope that it was JJ, and somehow found his way to her, she turned around, but again, nothing was there.

“JJ?” She asked but instead, a deeper male voice spoke.

“Cordelia Cromwell.” As soon as she heard that voice, her hairs stood up and with quick feet, turned around to where it came from.

The Demon of Hell was in front of her, some steps away. With his body that would almost not fit through the whole, his head hitting the top of the cave and his long black arms hitting the floor, he made his way more closer Lia, but she made steps back.

“Yeah, you look exactly like them.” He said, looking with his white eyes up and down. He stepped back moving his arms and feet to help his body move.

“What did you do to them?” Lia asked firmly and loud enough, so he could hear her, but the Demon let out a laugh.

“I killed them all.”

Lia felt a dagger stabbing her heart, but she didn’t want him to see her vulnerable, so instead of letting the tears come out, she stayed put, ready to defend herself.

“I killed them all.” The Demon repeated. “I killed all the heirs, all the inheritors, all the wizards and witches that could beat me. Not that there were many, of course.” He said with arrogance that Lia felt his heart fill with disgust.

“Not all of them, I’m still here, dumbass.” Lia responded and then noticed how the Demon didn’t like the nickname at all, since he stopped for a moment to look at Lia annoyed and angry, but then continued.

“Yes, unfortunately. You, were hard to find. A Cromwell, they were always hard to him.”

“Yeah, I know. I was extremely good when I played hide and seek with my cousin.” Since Lia noticed that the Demon liked having people scare of him, she choose the option to show him the opposite, and not take the scene he was doing so seriously and take him off track. Her plan was working, since the Demon made a grunt and rolled his eyes at Lia, who let out a tiny proud smile. “So, are you going to tell me your evil plan like all the villians on the movies or...? Because you’re taking your time and usually they get to right on to it-”

“Shut up!” The Demon of Hell yelled.

Lia, who wanted to distract him to slowly make her way to the sword and see if JJ was right, maybe she could pick it up, let out a tiny laugh. “Did anybody ever tell you have a short temper?” She said taking a step to the side.

“You have a big mouth, don’t you?” He asked with a deep voice and Lia cursed on the inside when he got on top of the sword.

“Yeah, I got that from my grandmother.”

“Evanora.” He said disgusted and angry. “She was one of the reasons why I got defeated. That evil witch.”

“Yeah, I know, she’s a badass.” Lia said and then did a quick look to the sword. “So, are you going to tell me your plan or no? Dude, you really need to prepare better your moment. This is it. You know?”

The Demon let out a tiny smile and then got his face closer to Lia. “You won’t have this much fun when I tell you what I did to your mother, Cromwell.” Lia’s breath was cut short but like before, she didn’t show him any vulnerability, so she stayed put waiting for him to talk. “She’s alive, if you want to know. You’re here because you received a letter from her, with your name, correct? Well, I made her do that. She resisted, of course, so I had to do it the bad way.” Lia felt a tear wanting to come out imagining what he did to her, but she fought it back. “Eventually the letter got to you, and you’re here, so my plan worked. It took me years to find you, your parents did a great job hiding you and your family, but when I did, oh, how devastated was she. Your father on the other hand... well, let’s just say that he never found out I found you. And he never will. What a shame.”

“You’re the one who sent me here to the Outer Banks in the first place, aren’t you?” Lia said, when all of it came together on her head.

“Smart girl. I tried to get to you multiple times, but for some reason, I couldn’t. That lame magic that you do, somehow, protected you from me.”

“Or maybe you’re too weak.”

“Weak?”

“You lost the war once and you will lose again.”

“And who’s going to stop me? You? And who else? I killed all the inheritors of the Phoenix, the profecy is dead. And soon, you will be too.” With quick moves, the Demon of Hell threw a ball of fire towards Lia, but she lifting her hand, protecting herself from it. As quick as the wind, another ball of fire left his other hand, another one and another one after her, but with her whole strength she stopped them, not letting the Demon of Hell get what he wanted.

Needing to stop every ball of fire the Demon was throwing her way, she didn’t had the time to cast a spell on him. She didn’t know if was going to be enough to weaken him, but she wanted to try. Her body was getting tired of stoping the fire, her arms were feeling heavy and her breathing was faster than before. It looked like the next one was going to be the one that was going to get to her since she didn’t know where to look for strength in her body, so without even thinking about it, she crossed arms across her face, making a big ‘X’ and then closed her eyes hoping for her protecting spell to be enough for her. She didn’t felt that it was going to be, but for her surprise, when she didn’t feel anything, she opened her eyes to see the big ball of fire in front of her. Somehow, she managed to stop it and gain control of it.

“How is that possible?” The Demon asked more to himself. The fire that the Demon of Hell produced were way more powerful than any magic Lia learned over her years in the Academy. It was impossible for a wizard or a witch to control it, but somehow, Lia managed to do it. With surprise on her eyes, she took a deep breath and quickly uncrossed her arms to let the ball of fire go, with speed, towards the Demon. But he easily dodged it, going to the side and still looking at Lia with surprise. “You are really your mother’s daughter.” He said with a smirk, but Lia noticed some concerned on his white eyes.

“Yeah, I fucking am.” She said, before throwing a spell towards him. One, two, three spells Lia managed to throw at him, but with ease, he stopped them. And then, regain control of the fight once again. Her powers were nothing compared to what he was, she felt more weaker than before, her arms were tired and for her to do the spell required more strength because of it, which she didn’t have. She was ready to fall, ready to see what was going to happen next, her body was ready to hit the ground and hope for the best. Her head hurt like a knife had stab it, her stomach was turning every second the balls of fire went her way, as well as her eyes getting tired. She was prepared for the next step, whatever it was, her body couldn’t handle it anymore, she wasn’t strong enough...

“Lia!” She heard a yell from a far. She turned as well as the Demon to see where the noise came from, but nothing was there. Suddenly, quicker than the wind, a line of light came throw the other side of the cave they were in. The light was so strong that Lia had to close her eyes to protect them. Her ears were trying to deduce what was going on in front of her, the Demon of Hell let out an acute yell, it was screaming in pain. Lia wanted to see what was going on with her own eyes, but the light was too strong for her to handle. The screams were getting unbearable, but then, they stopped. The air in the room became more thin and more easier for her to breathe. When her closed eyes, noticed how the light went away, she slowly opened them to see what saved her.

The first thing that she noticed was that the Demon was gone, he was nowhere to be seen. She looked around to see what had happened, and then, when she turned around, what she saw was white long hair and a long dress, ripped on the end and bruises and scratches on someone’s leg. Her sight was a little bit blurry, so she couldn’t fully see the person’s face. But when she did, her breath was cut short. Immediately, she recognised that white hair she would love to caress and do crazy hairstyles, those thighs that she would sit on top while hearing stories, those arms that would hug her and feel the warmth, and those eyes, that would look at her with such love, that nothing could compare to it.

“Mom?” She asked when a single tear came down her cheek. Immediately, Lia’s mom, Cassandra, walked to give her daughter a tight hug. The both of them had tears on their eyes while enjoying each other’s embrace.

“My sweet child,” Cassandra said once she broke the hug and looked at Lia, with her hands on her cheeks. “look at you.”

“Is it really you?” She asked, trying to see through her tears on her eyes.

“Yes is it, sweetheart.” Lia let out a smile just like her mother. It didn’t seem real, they both dreamed with a moment like this for the last 10 years, so the idea of being it real, it took them a moment to fully process it and believe that it was.

“How? How are you here? If I would’ve known sooner I-” Lia said, but her mom cut her off.

“I know, I know. You did everything according to plan.” Cassandra said while cleaning Lia’s tears off her face.

“What?”

“Baby, there’s a lot to explain but there’s no time right now. I have to prepare you.” Cassandra broke the hug to walk steps back but Lia stopped her.

“Prepare me for what?”

“For what’s coming.”

“The fight?”

Cassandra took a second to respond. She looked around and then gabbed Lia’s hands. “Bigger than that.” She let go of her hands and started going something on the ground with the rocks that Lia couldn’t figure out what it was. What could be bigger than the fight? Lia’s mind was extremely confused at everything, her mom just appearing, something bigger happening, how did she fought the Demon by herself, it was too much that she felt like she was going to faint. She took a deep breath and then closed her eyes, but when his image came to her head, she quickly opened them again.

“Wait, where’s JJ?” She looked around with the intention to look for him, but her mother stopped her.

“He’s going to be alright.”

Lia looked at her mother confused. “You know him?”

“I know him since he was a little baby. But he didn’t know me.” She answered while still doing a strange looking circle on the ground

“What? Mom, I need to know what is happening.” When she was done, she locked eyes with Lia and then took a deep breath, before grabbing her hands once again.

“Remember when I left with your father and your uncles?” Lia nodded. “It was because we got called by the organisation, they told us he was back. They needed us. But everything went wrong, everyone-” Cassandra was saying but quickly went silent, to look down and close her eyes when the memories were too much for her to handle.

“What?” Lia asked. Cassandra looked at the walls of the cave and then let out a sigh. Lia without understanding, kept his mouth shut and waited for her mother to talk again.

“The reason why your friend, JJ, is here with you tonight, it’s because I helped him. I gave him the impulse to follow you to Halloween Town, I sent him the thoughts and the images about Amethyst and where she was. I did that with my angel powers, something that you will learn soon. Lia, listen to me, when I got captured by the Demon of Hell I made a plan, to help you and him get here. But it needed to be Outer Banks, so I convinced him. I told him that since it was a little town, there was less energy, so less the possibilities of him being found. He listened to me, so that’s why we’re here. Outer Banks was the place where the profecy was created, so being here, some of my powers came back. That’s how I helped you. I needed the both of you here.” Cassandra explained but it took Lia a moment to understand half of it. She couldn’t believe it. Since the moment she stepped into Outer Banks, she wanted to know why she was there and answer all those questions, and she did. All those answers were there, in her mom’s words.

“But why the both of us?” That’s all she could let out, but before her mother could answer, a loud noise came from where the Demon of Hell went away.

“The two Cromwell women.” He said. Lia noticed that he was weaker than before, thanks to her mom. “This is going to be more fun now, killing the mother and daughter together. Let’s start the party, shall we?”

“Lia, hold my hand.” Cassandra said and without hesitating, Lia grabbed her hand when the Demon of Hell trew a ball of fire towards her. Lia lifted her hand to do the protecting spell on her and her mom, but instead, when she lifted her hand, the same line of light that appeared earlier, came out of the palm of her had. Cassandra and Lia where doing the same thing, weakening the Demon of Hell. Lia turned to see her mother with confused eyes, she didn’t know how she was doing that, but soon knew that it was her mother’s doing.

When the light stopped, Cassandra grabbed Lia and pulled her behind her. Another ball of light was coming their way, but Cassandra stopped it with ease. One, two, three balls were being thrown at them. Lia turned to her mother worried for her state, but then widen her eyes when she noticed her white hair was becoming dark brown. “Mom! Your hair!”

“My powers are slowly fading away, Lia! You have to step in!” She said while stopping everything the Demon was throwing.

“What? How? I can’t stop it on my own!”

“Yes! Yes you can! You have to seek within you! You have the power, you just have to believe in it!”

“Believe in it? How do I do that?” She asked but her mother didn’t answered, since her powers were getting more weak, she put all her left strength on giving Lia some time. Lia looked around looking for something to do, when her eyes found the sword next to the Demon. She looked for a way to get to it, but that idea went away, when a dark blonde boy appeared from the rocks.

“JJ?” She asked almost in a whisper. She furrowed her eyebrows not knowing what JJ had in mind and what his plan was. She tried to get to him but the Demon was in the way. Screaming wasn’t an option either, since he would definitely hurt JJ if he sees him. So Lia followed him with her eyes, watching his every move with curious eyes. “What the hell is he doing?” She asked when JJ was jumping from rock to rock closer to the sword. And when he got to it, the least thing that Lia would’ve imagined, happened. With slow moves and his eyes glued to the sword, JJ kneeled down and took his hand closer to it. The red rocks that it had on the handle shined brighter than any diamond out there. As closer as his hands were getting, the shiner they were getting.

“It can’t be.” Lia said in a whisper, the moment that she saw how JJ’s hand grabbed the sword and with strength, picked it up from the floor. The sword made an acute sound that made everyone around, turn to it.

“Impossible.” The Demon of Hell said looking with shook eyes at JJ.

“It looks like you didn’t kill them all, dumbass.” JJ said and Lia let out proud smile, still surprised at what just happened.

“Ugh!” The Demon of Hell yelled and threw a ball of fire to JJ, but he, stopped it with ease putting the sword in front of it.

“That’s it, JJ!” Lia yelled proudly. For a moment, it felt like everything was going to be alright, that the pieces were now together, the puzzle was complete. The hope was restored in her body and mind, she felt her heart feel with warm, but then, before she could think of something else, she felt a strong pain in her stomach.

“No!” JJ yelled from the other side of the cave. The Demon had scratched Lia on the stomach with his big claws on his hands when the anger hit him. But soon, it yelled in pain pulling back and falling to the floor, weaker than he ever felt. Taking that opportunity, JJ ran towards Lia and Cassandra.

“Lia! Are you alright?” He asked grabbing Lia’s stomach to help the blood be on its place. She nodded, trying to help her balance by grabbing JJ’s shoulders.

“It’s you.” She said softly looking at JJ in the eyes, ignoring the pain she felt in her stomach.

JJ let out a smile to comfort her. “Yes, it’s me. Your mom told me everything, she’s the reason why we met in the first place and I knew all those stuff, Lia. I’m the guy Amethyst saw. I’m the inheritor of the Phoenix.” They both let out tiny laughs, and excited for the news.

“Are you alright, Lia?” Her mom asked and she nodded.

“Yes, I am. What happened to him?” Lia asked pointing with her head at the Demon, trying to regain his whole strength after hitting Lia.

“When a Demon hurts an angel, they also get hurt because we’re protected by God, Lia. That’s why he couldn’t kill me.” Cassandra said. Lia locked eyes with her but then looked away at her stomach, organising her thoughts. She was an angel, there was no doubt on that. And JJ was the inheritor of the Phoenix, that’s another thing Lia was sure about. But the thing that she didn’t know... how is going to release her true powers? “How come he didn’t find JJ?”

“He’s a mortal, he only searched for wizard and witches. That’s why he didn’t know about JJ.”

“But you did.” Lia said, remembering her mom’s words.

“Yes I did. Whenever a new inheritor of the Phoenix is born, the old ones know about it. But the thing about JJ, is that he was born where the profecy was created, so he had to be the one.” Cassandra said.

JJ let out a smile and locked eyes with Lia. “I’m the one.” JJ said with shiny eyes. He did it. He finally believed that he was something. He was worthy and more than he believed. The hope that he had in his eyes was something that Lia never saw before on him, the pain and the sadness they used to hold, they were no longer there.

“Yes you are.” Lia said softly, touching his cheek with her hand ignoring the strong pain in her stomach.

“Guys!” Cassandra yelled running in front of them to stop a ball of fire going their way. But that time, if was the drop that made the glass fall, since Cassandra couldn’t take it anymore, she dropped to the side when her hair went completely dark.

“Mom!” Lia ran towards her to see if she was alright, while JJ and his sword were stopping the fire going their way.

“I’m ok! You go help him!” Cassandra yelled. Looking back at JJ, Lia quickly got up and walked to stand next to him. The Demon of Hell stopped and let out a tiny smirk looking at Lia and then at JJ repeatedly.

“The new generation.” He said. “A boy that didn’t know about his true powers until today, and a girl who doesn’t even know how to control her powers. This is going to be fun.” After another ball of fire was going their way, Lia stepped in front of JJ and stopped it to throw it back at the Demon, just like she did before.

“JJ, you have to stab it!” Cassandra yelled.

“How?!” He asked but Cassandra didn’t answer, since the fire was going out of control around them. Because of his anger, the Demon became more enraged and it seemed that it wasn’t stopping this time until they were all gone. JJ, looked around seeing what he could do. Then, on the side of the Demon, saw some rocks making a way up for him to go towards the Demon.

“JJ!” Lia yelled when she saw him running away towards the Demon. “Mom! What can I do to help him?!”

“You have to let it out!” The moment Cassandra yelled that, some rocks from the top of the cave fell down next to Lia, and because of that, she took some steps back and lost her balance, dropping her body to the floor. “Lia! Believe in it! Believe that you can do it! Believe in what makes you powerful!” In that second, Lia remembered her grandmother’s words, ‘Your need to protect the ones that need you is what makes you powerful.’ That was it. But before she could think of something else, a scream in pain made her come back to reality and turned to where the noise came from.

“JJ! No!” Lia yelled the moment she saw him dropping to the floor grabbing his shoulder in pain. The Demon had scratched him the same way he did to Lia. She quickly ran towards him but when a strong pain came from her stomach, she stopped to grab it.

“Lia!” JJ yelled. He saw how she kneeled down to the floor and was making pain expressions with her face. “What is happening to her?!”

“No!” The Demon yelled. JJ turned to Cassandra to look for answers but she didn’t look at him, she had her eyes glued to Lia with a proud smile on her face. The moment that JJ turned back to Lia, she was touching her back with her hands in pain, he wanted to go and stop that, but he didn’t. Since her mom wasn’t doing anything as well, he decided to stay still, even if it hurt him seeing her like that. Seconds later, a strong light started to come out of her body. It was so strong that JJ had to put his hand in front of his eyes to protect them from it. The light didn’t let JJ see everything that was happening to her, but when he saw white hair coming out of her head, turning his dark hair to white, he widen his eyes at the surprise. It was happening, that part of Lia, it was coming out. Her angel self.

Slowly, JJ noticed how some wings were coming out of her back. He couldn’t believe his eyes, it was like he was watching a movie, that scene, he was sure to had seen in on screen in a fiction movie. But it wasn’t. This was real. It was Lia, his friend, she was growing out wings from her back. It was so magical that he lost control of his body, he couldn’t move because he wanted to enjoy every single second that Lia was transforming. The way that she would illuminate the cave, with the light that was coming from her body, it was powerful like the image he saw with the profecy. She was starting to look like her mother, like a true warrior.

Her wings were finally out, they were longer than her body with a beautiful color of white. They looked so delicate but strong at the same time. Lia, slowly got up from the floor and looked up at the Demon. On that moment, JJ noticed that it wasn’t truly Lia, her eyes were white and her expression was serious. She didn’t have that spark on her eyes like she usually had, but before JJ could think anything of it, Lia spread her wings along her side and quicker than the wind, her wings took her body up towards the Demon.

JJ followed her with his eyes, he saw how she stopped in front of him, which he had fear in his eyes, and how she lifted her hand and how immediately a strong like came out her hand. The Demon was making himself into a ball in pain, hoping that Lia would stop, but she didn’t. It was becoming so weak that he couldn’t even get Lia out of his way, to at least leave the cave and end his suffering. But then, Lia stopped. With quick moves, while the Demon was scratching his body in pain, Lia turned around and locked eyes with JJ. He felt how his heart started to beat faster and his stomach to turn, her eyes were almost penetrating him. He felt a some type of fear inside of him. That Lia wasn’t really Lia, he didn’t know who she was, but it was definitely terrifying. Quicker than anything JJ had ever seen, she flew towards him to grab him from his shoulders while he was still holding his sword in hand. When she started to go back to the Demon, still in pain, he understood what he had to do. So he lifted his sword and when he was closer enough he got ready to stab him, but something unexpected happened; Lia dropped him. JJ’s heart skipped a beat because he was falling from high and with speed, but once he saw him getting closer to the Demon, he pointed his sword down and then closed his eyes waiting for the impact of him hitting the Demon. But he never did.

He opened his eyes once he felt Lia grabbing his shoulders once again, they were flying back to where he was before, but this time, his hands were empty so he looked back, to notice how the sword was half way inside the Demon of Hell’s stomach. He was screaming in pain but for some reason JJ couldn’t hear it, his nerves and all of this that was happening somehow cancelled all the noise that was going around him, except for Lia’s wings. The air around them was the only thing hitting JJ’s ears, he looked up to see her face, but her eyes were still the same. Her white eyes were looking forward with no expression at all, they looked empty, like there was no life in them, just a body moving under one order, finishing it all.

Once Lia left JJ on the ground, she didn’t stopped flying. She looked at the demon screaming in pain and trying to take the sword out of his body. And then, seconds later, she flew again with the intention to end it. Complete the profecy.

The Demon of Hell turned to Lia and lifted his hand to stop her, but she flew right pass it to grab his cheeks with her hands. The same light than before was coming out of them, making the Demon scream even more loudly in pain. JJ noticed how Lia’s face got now anger in it, her eyes were more whiter and his eyebrows were furrowed with strength. The anger that she was letting out was starting to scare JJ, he didn’t understand what was happening to her, or what she was doing, so he didn’t look away from her. The lighter of her hands were becoming more powerful by the second, and then, seconds later it was so strong that JJ had to close his eyes and lift his hand in front of them. The cave became nothing more but just the light that Lia was projecting, silence followed it as well as a cold wind blowing around them.

It was done. The profecy was completed. Lia and JJ did it. The Demon of Hell was gone. JJ opened his eyes to see Lia laying on the ground with her wings next to her. Before he could run towards her, Cassandra appeared in front of him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You did it! It’s done. I’m so proud of you two.”

“Yes.” JJ said softly with a smile on his face. A single tear came down his cheek when it all hit him. He did it. It was all done. He helped Lia defeat a Demon. He saved the world. “Lia?” He asked when Cassandra broke the hug. When she didn’t respond, JJ looked at her mom who was staring at the ground. He started to walk towards her but Cassandra stopped him and shook her head when he looked at her. “What happened to her?” He asked worried but her mom didn’t answer. With his heart beating faster, he suddenly noticed that the walls on the cave were staring to shake. Cassandra let out a smile and then walked closer to one of the walls, JJ followed her with his eyes and watched carefully to the wall. Suddenly, the wall wasn’t a wall anymore. It was a hand. Then an arm, and then a head. A full body came out of it and it started to breathe again. JJ widen his eyes at the surprise and confusion his head was experiencing. Cassandra quickly hug the man that came out of the wall and JJ saw he looked like Lia but a man, he was Lia’s father.

Seconds later, a thousand of bodies were coming out of the walls and looking around with hopeful smiles on their faces. Lia’s parents turned to where a couple were and JJ immediately understood that they where Jervis’ parents, since the woman was the image of Jervis but in a woman. Cassandra nodded with a smile and Jervis’ parents started crying before hugging each other, and with a quick noise, teletransported out of the cave.

“Thank you!” JJ heard a yell coming from a far. He turned to where the voice came from and the woman was staring right at him with a smile. After that, everyone was saying thank you to him. He nodded, feeling strange of all the sudden attention and adore towards him. The people started to look up, after giving thanks to JJ, and with closed eyes and tears going down their cheeks, they said thanks to the sky, before, just like Jervis’ parents, leaving the cave behind. JJ furrowed his eyebrows confused on why they were saying thanks to the sky, but then, he understood. He turned to Lia to see that she was still laying on the ground. He ran towards her to grab her face and make it look at him. “Cassandra, what is happening?!” He asked desperately but there was no answer from her mom. He felt his heart beating faster and his stomach to turn, the pain that his chest was feeling was unbearable. She wasn’t moving.

He took his ear to her chest but there was no noise coming from it. “She’s not breathing!” He yelled, but again, no answer. His eyes were getting so watery that he couldn’t see her no more. His tears started to come down his cheeks fast, his hands were trying to wake her up. But there was no use, it felt like she wasn’t going to. “Why?” He asked with pain in his voice. His chest felt like a knife stabbed it multiple times. The pain he was feeling was so strong that he felt he couldn’t breathe. He was trying so hard to look at her lifeless face even if his eyes were blurry. This can’t be happening. He was saying to himself over and over again. Not her, not now. The only noise that surrounded the cave was his crying, and the image of him holding Lia looked like a painting. But everything he was feeling was more real than any painting in the world.

“C’mon, wake up.” JJ said in a whisper looking at Lia’s eyes while his thumb was caressing her cheek. Her skin felt colder than the rings on JJ’s hand. Her lips didn’t have that beautiful color that JJ loved so much, they were now light blue, colder than an ice cube. Her hair was now back to normal, and the feathers in her wings were slowly staring to fall off of her wings. “Please.” He said in the same tone as before.

“Well, if you say please, I might think about it.” JJ heard Lia’s voice but her mouth wasn’t moving. He swallowed with strength and furrowed his eyebrows confused. But then he noticed where the voice came from. He turned around to see Lia standing there in front of him. She looked like the time he saw her for the first time after coming back from Halloween Town, her body was similar to a ghost but her face was the same as always, not like the one JJ saw when she was fighting, she had her typical smile and her eyes had that sparkle that gave JJ so much happiness to see.

“Lia?” JJ asked getting close to her. He looked down to her body and she let out a tiny laugh.

“I’m sorry.” She said and then pointed at his tears. “For that. I didn’t know this was going to happen. I would’ve given you a heads up.” They both let out a tiny laughs and JJ felt how the warmth was going back to his chest.

“What happened?”

“Well, I’m not dead. Thank God.” JJ let out a tiny laugh but Lia shook her head. “No literally, God saved me.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah, apparently I wasn’t ready to do what I did, so I almost died. And for some reason, they saved me.”

“I asked them to.” Cassandra said, out of the nowhere with a smile. The moment that Lia locked eyes with her father she let out a giant smile.

“Dad?”

“Hi sweetheart.”

“Are you ready, baby?” Cassandra asked and JJ furrowed his eyebrows looking back at Lia, but she seemed to not be confused because she was on her own mind putting her thoughts together.

“For what?” JJ asked.

“The next step.” Cassandra and Lia said at the same time.

“You always talked about it, ‘the next step’... I didn’t know it was this.” Lia looked at her body and then back at JJ.

“What does it mean?” Since Lia didn’t respond immediately, the worst came to his mind. “Are you dying?” He asked hoping that Lia said no, and luckily, she shook her head.

“I’m not. I just... have to learn how to be this part of me.” JJ slowly nodded, even if he didn’t understand what that meant. He looked down when he felt his stomach turning and some tears wanting to come out. “We’re always up for a new adventure, remember?” Lia said and JJ quickly looked up at Lia with a smile.

Even if he didn’t want her to leave, it had to happen. She had her world and he had his. But that was the only thing that they didn’t have in common. They had different beginnings, but the universe brought them together, for the profecy, but also, for something way more bigger than that. “Will you come back?” JJ asked softly.

“That’s just another adventure I will have to take.” She said with a smile.

“I’m gonna miss you.”

Lia nodded. “I know.” She said jokingly. “And when you do, just look at the stars. I will be there.” Lia immediately looked down to her body when she felt a little tingle in her stomach. She looked at her parents and they both nodded with smiles. Lia let out a breath and then turned to JJ, who was trying to hold his tears in. “See you later, Maybank?” She asked softly.

“See you later, Cromwell.”

⋆ ⋆

JJ didn’t know how to act after everything that just happened to him. If he ever had thought back two months ago that he would’ve been fighting in a battle next to his witch friend he would’ve thought that he was crazy. He started to think of the old JJ, the JJ that didn’t know anything magical existed. That he didn’t know that part of him. He was more than anything his father or his teachers told him, he wasn’t a good for nothing. He was someone. He was brave, he was a good friend and he was the inheritor of the Phoenix. That was JJ Maybank, and nothing was going to change that.

After saying goodbye to Lia’s parents he went to the beach to let his feet enjoy the water. He took a moment to remember everything, put every word, every moment, and every feeling in a box in his mind and keep it forever. He took in a breathe and closed his eyes to let the wind touch his skin and appreciate this moment to be alive. He looked up once he opened his eyes and the image of Lia appeared on his head. They were going to take different paths and travel different roads, but deep down, he knew that the universe was going to bring them together one last time. He believed that. Somehow, he wasn’t sad that it was over, he was happy that it happened. He got to experience that with someone great, someone that taught him to believe in himself and be brave, no matter what’s in front of you. That was just another adventure, one in a million that JJ wanted to have. He knew who he was, that was only the beginning. On that moment, as he was watching the stars, one of them caught his attention. It was small but it was brighter than the ones around it, it’s light felt like it was illuminating the whole beach. He smiled to himself knowing exactly who that was.

“Hi, Cromwell. Nice to see you again.” JJ said almost in a whisper.

Maybe her younger self was right. Maybe stars were angels in the sky.

the end

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well, this is the end. like always, I want to say thank you to everyone who read the story and left comments. on this story I was able to experiment with my creativity and do a type of story that I’ve never done before. so, thank you for being in this journey with me! means the world. lia’s and jj’s story is far from over, but this is it for now. hope you guys liked this, it definitely took me a lot of time to decided how to end it, but when I did, I was happy with it. the end is way more deep than I say on the actual story, so I would like to know what you guys get out of it ;) (or juga your theories on their next step!) pls come talk to me about it, I would love that! alright, thank you again, and see you in another story!

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