#imagine looking at a fun little pill & being like what if we made it generic & boring instead. life 🙄

[lesbianlenas]

it really is amazing how i can still feel so guilty abt smth that wasn’t my fault that happened 20 yrs ago when i was 3 yrs old & i was legit a baby like…..insane how that works 😭 also they changed the size and shape of my one medications and i HATE IT!!!!!! condensing this into one post to save you all time you’re welcome

[ericspinkhair]

quarantine longings

pairing: best friend!kevin x fem!reader

word count: 3.2k

synopsis: you and your best friend have sex because quarantine made you horny

warnings: best friends to lovers, takes place during the pandemic, spoiler of 356 days (but not the end, just generally the plot), no use of condoms but only the pill, creampie, sexual fantasies, fingering, hand-job, sex, slight angst at the end if you squint

a/n: I would literally die for kevin, I love him so much. I'll be writing a multiple parts series about him after I'm done writing scenarios for every member first.

requests are open!

masterlist + requests

you slammed your foot hard against the wall and cursed in pain. you hopped on one foot to your bed, holding your other leg in agony and tasted blood as you bit your lip to keep the volume of your suffering groans in check. someone knocked on the door.

'are you okay?' your roommate asked concerned.

'no, leave me alone, kevin,' you croaked out. you wanted to suffer by yourself.

there was an awkward silence and then you heard him sigh. soon after, the door next to your room closed shut.

why were you so frustrated, one might ask? well, the pandemic was kicking your butt and you just couldn't take it anymore. when the news of the virus had first spread, no one thought it would become this serious. but suddenly everyone was walking around with masks and spent most of their time staying at home.

after graduating high school, you and kevin had decided to move in together for college because both of you were broke and couldn't afford to live alone. you had been best friends since middle school and had been convinced that it was a smart idea at the time.

and everything went smoothly for the first one and a half years. however, after not seeing anyone else since the start of the pandemic over a year ago, it became increasingly difficult to share an apartment, but not in the way one might assume. you were neither sick of each other nor did you fight a lot. to tell the truth, it was quite the opposite.

earlier, before you had kicked the wall in anger, the two of you had painted together. kevin was majoring in art and, since you didn't have anything better to do, you joined him while he did projects for his classes. you might have been majoring in journalism but you had always liked drawing and painting, even though you weren't particularly skilled. you were a naturally clumsy person, always tripping over air and dropping things. today you were hecticly moving around your hands while telling him about a stupid video you had seen and you accidently let go of the brush in your hand. it hit the side of kevin's face, leaving a wide splodge of red paint on his right cheek.

to get back at you, he jerked his paint brush and splattered some green color on your white shirt. you saw this as a challenge and soon both of you were both drenched in the colors of the rainbow, laughing hysterically on the floor, not caring that you were spreading the paint on the poor carpet.

you turned your heads to look at each other and you felt absolutely in peace. you loved this man and couldn't be more glad that it was him and not anyone else you were stuck with inside of this apartment.

he stood up to take off his stained shirt and your smile quickly faded off your face. your lips slightly parted and you couldn't help but stare at his now exposed biceps and abs.

your mouth watered and you felt heat pooling between your legs as you took your time to study his architecture. thoughts about how badly you wanted him to thrust into you while his strong arms held you up invaded your mind. you tried to shake them off but it was impossible.

occasions like this were slowly becoming a common occurrence for you.

having mostly stayed inside for over a year, also meant that you didn't have sex for that long. it's not like you were the horniest person on the planet but you still had needs that were being neglected. with kevin being home all the time you didn't even dare to masturbate, scared that he would be able to hear you through the frustratingly thin walls. you must have gone insane with all the lust building up inside you and that's why you suddenly craved to have sex with your best friend. this whole thing was destroying everything. it was hard to act normal when he was making you this nervous and heated but you tried to pretend that everything was fine anyway for the sake of your friendship.

that was the reason why you were angry and had hurt yourself. you hated the way you felt about your best friend and you hated the pandemic for not giving you an outlet to escape so you could recollect yourself.

what you weren't aware of was that kevin was no stranger to the exact same frustration.

he would need more than his ten fingers and ten toes to be able to count the amount of times he had to run to the bathroom to hide his boner because he had done so much as look at you bend over or stretch. he didn't want to make you uncomfortable but it was a challenge to try and calm down his hormones.

whenever he jacked off, images of you flashed through his mind; your sweet curves and pink lips drove him insane.

last week, you two were cooking together and you had asked him to get the salt. he stood behind you to reach for it on the highest shelf. he was forced to press his crotch against your butt cheeks and his dick hardened against his will. he quickly handed you the salt, excused himself and ran off before you could figure out what had happened.

he might not have known the cause of your sudden outburst but he sympathized with your fury because he had a lot of pent up anger towards covid as well.

he lay in his bed and tried to focus on the book he was reading but he couldn't tune out the groans coming from the room next to his. he cursed.

'stop it!' he was panicking as he saw a familiar tent forming in his pants. your sounds triggered some weird perverted part of his brain that sent signals right to his genitals. his dick was hardening and he saw no other solution to his problem than to give in to his subconscious desires.

he pulled down his pants just far enough so that his cock had enough room to spring out. it only needed a few strokes before it stood tall and angry. kevin pressed his head into his pillow and moved his hand fast. he wanted to get over with it quickly. he emptied his cum on his stomach while imagining your greedy little mouth being stuffed by his cock. he lay there panting as yet another round of shame flushed over him.

'get yourself together,' he whispered, mentally slapping himself.

***

'do you want to order japanese or italian?' you asked kevin. today was friday which meant it was time for your weekly tradition of ordering take out and watching a movie.

'definitely italian. we've already had japanese for the past four days. I need something else for a change,' kevin complained and shuddered at the thought of having to eat sushi again. the japanese restaurant prepared absolutely delicious food but he just couldn't stand it anymore.

you laughed at his pained facial expression. 'fine, italian it is.'

within twenty minutes the doorbell rang and after about half a minute kevin came back with two huge boxes.

he opened them on the small table situated in front of your couch and the smell of freshly cooked pasta seasoned with basil made your stomach growl.

kevin wanted to dig in already but you stopped him. you had to choose a movie first.

'let's watch tall girl. I saw everyone hate on it on tiktok,' you suggested.

'I think we should watch 365 days, that was all over my for you page as well,' kevin argued. you hadn't heard of it so you weren't sure whether it would be the right movie for you. the rule was that it had to be as bad as possible.

'according to what I have heard, it's apparently even worse than 50 shades of grey,' kevin added which piqued your interest. the both of you had watched 50 shades about two months ago and you were honestly shocked by how awful it actually was. you couldn't understand why everyone had been so obsessed with it when it was first released. if 356 days was really worse, then you'd hit the jackpot. you clapped your hands.

'fine, you win. I swear if the movie isn't as horrible as you say it is then you owe me something!' he intertwined his pinky with yours to promise.

watching horrible movies was way better than watching good ones. making fun of bad storylines, stupid characters or horrible editing was one of your favorite past times.

'I guess I'll have to add are you lost, baby girl to the top 10 worst lines ever spoken. who thought ah yes this is sexy, let's have him repeat it over and over again', you complained, shoving some pasta into your mouth.

'so he's like I won't do anything without your permission while he is literally groping her boobs against her will, like make it make sense, massimo', added kevin, ruffling his hair in frustration. he almost completely forgot about the food.

'so let me get this straight: he drugged her, kidnapped her, tied her up, hung up a painting of her just because he saw her face when his dad was shot?'

'totally relatable.' both of you giggled.

you were enjoying complaining about the plot. it was horrible.

there were plenty of erotic scenes but they were honestly so funny and kinda gross that you could bare it without really being affected by them. kevin, on the other hand, had placed a pillow over his hard-on to hide the embarrassing fact that these terrible, smutty scenes had turned him on.

and then the infamous boat scene came.

massimo and laura had a huge fight, she fell of the boat, he saved her and now she was suddenly so in love with him that she begs him to fuck her. which he does.

you felt your panties become increasingly wet as the couple had steaming hot sex.

'this is embarrassing but I'm so horny,' you admitted but in a way that should have suggested that you meant it as a joke. something about this statement stirred something in kevin.

'well, what can I say?' he replied and lifted the pillow. your pupils widened at the sight of your best friend's bulge.

his eyes darkened and he looked at you with lust clearly written on his face. you reciprocated his stare with the same intensity. you tried to focus on his dark brown orbs instead of his boner but the image you had just seen was present in your mind.

his gaze shifted to your lips and, before you knew it, kevin climbed above you and pressed your back flat onto the couch.

your lips locked and you immediately buried your hands in his hair to pull him closer. you moved in sync, his lips fitting perfectly onto yours. you bucked your hips up against his crotch and earned a moan from kevin. he opened his eyes in shock as realization hit him. he quickly pulled away and jumped off the coach.

'I'm so sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have just done that. I don't know what came over me,' he apologized profusely, staring at his feet. did he really think that you didn't want this?

'give me your hand,' you told him and held out your hand.

'why?' he raised his eyebrows in confusion. you rolled your eyes.

'just do it.'

you took his hand and led it to your crotch.

'what are you- oh my god.' your juices had completely soaked through your panties and your sweatpants. 'you are so wet.'

'for you,' you added. 'there's no need to apologize. I'm literally begging you to continue.'

you didn't have to say that twice before he pulled you closer to him by your hips and engaged you in another desperate kiss. his hands were groping your butt while you let yours slide under his hoodie. you felt his naked skin and toned abs, as you rubbed his stomach. you lowered your hands and bravely palmed his boner through his clothes.

'y/n,' he hissed out against your lips. you hooked your thumbs in the elastic of his pants and underwear, and pushed the material down to his thighs. he struggled to get them off.

you stroked his hard dick as he slipped his hand into your panties to massage your pussy at the same time.

he slipped one finger inside and began working it in and out. you finally were getting the relief you had been desperately craving for for so long. kevin was skilled and your walls were trying to swallow his slim finger. you were quickly coming close to your orgasm after having abstained for more than a year. you pulled his hand out.

'I bet you can make me come even better with your dick,' you challenged kevin.

'you bet I will.' he was confident.

'let me just look for a condom.' he was already turning away to go search in his room but you held him back by the arm.

'forget about it. I'm on the pill and I want you raw. I want you to come inside me and not spill into a stupid condom.'

the idea of this sounded very tempting to kevin. he picked you up and threw you back onto the couch, drawing your hips closer to him so he could pull off all the pieces of clothing that were hindering him from accessing your pussy.

he propped up his arms next to your sides and spread your thighs apart. strings of arousal were hanging from your folds and he saw your hole desperately clench around nothing. his dick hurt from how much he wanted to finally be inside of you. he wanted to find out how close he had been able to imagine how you would feel around him.

your hole took him in easily, welcoming him happily by embracing it tightly. kevin swore he could've cum right here and there.

he went slow at first to give you a chance to adjust but you were already fully ready, rocking your hips forward to meet his thrusts.

he crashed your mouths together and you kissed him like he was oxygen and you were short of air. you smiled and your eyes rolled back, satisfied with how things had played out today and the prospects of coming looked fairly promising.

desperate for release, kevin picked up the pace, his eyes closed while fucking into you like a horny animal. he couldn't help himself and all the 'faster's and 'harder's spilling from your mouth only encouraged him to drive himself deeper into you.

you wrapped your legs around his torso in an attempt to regain the control you were losing.

'fuck fuck fuck,' you cursed, feeling your muscles starting to contract. kevin brushed away some hair that was stuck to your sweaty forehead.

'it's fine, I'm coming too,' he announced and it took only a few more thrusts before a body shaking orgasm flushed over you, making you see only white. this drove kevin over the edge too and he spilled inside you, filling you up with his hot cum. he continued to slowly ease his dick in and out of you, fucking his semen right back into you until you had ridden out both of your orgasms. he let himself fall onto the couch right next to you, panting hard.

'I very much needed this,' you sighed in content.

'same, I wasn't sure whether I could hold out any longer without having a proper orgasm.' he watched his cum drip out of you.

'we should've thought of this sooner,' you said. 'this was a great idea.'

kevin hummed in agreement.

***

so now you and kevin were having sex on a regular basis, your high score being five times in a day. it felt good to finally live out your sexuality and not having to restrict yourself. sure, you guys did it more than necessary but it was a great way to pass time and it felt fucking amazing.

today you had done it in the shower after waking up, then on the kitchen counter and you had just finished having sex in his bed.

he was spooning you from behind, his cock still placed inside of you. he nuzzled his nose into your neck.

'stop, that tickles,' you chuckled.

'sorry.'

after a while of comfortable silence you heard him let out a big sigh.

'what's wrong?' you asked as he pulled out of you. you turned around to be able to look at him.

'I don't think I can do it like this anymore,' he confessed.

'what do you mean?' you asked. 'are you talking about us having sex?'

he nodded. your heart dropped and you started feeling dizzy. you tried to search for answers in his eyes but he avoided looking at you.

'w-why?' you stuttered, trying to hold back the tears that were welling up in your eyes.

'it was amazing at first,' he started and finally raised his head to meet your gaze, 'and I went into it without much thought. I went crazy during quarantine and began fantasizing about having sex with you. then it became reality but now I understand that was probably wrong of me. I've always thought of myself as a gentleman, yet I slept with you without much thought. you see, my issue is this…'

suspense hung in the air and you were impatiently waiting for him to get to the point.

'I like you.'

you quietly gasped in surprise. you had been expecting him to say you were bad at sex and that he regretted everything but not this.

'I shouldn't be sleeping with you unless you were my girlfriend,' he finished off his ramble. you felt immensely relieved.

'do you want me to?' you asked him.

'want you to what?' kevin was confused. he had been a hundred percent sure you'd immediately jump out of the bed in disgust when he confessed.

'be your girlfriend. after all, I like you too, you moron.' you realized that you had known this for a while. you might have even been crushing on your best friend since way before the pandemic struck but it was kind of hard to track your feelings. still, you were sure you liked him too. now that he had admitted his feelings, you were able to admit yours not only to him but to yourself as well.

'wow, I didn't expect this,' kevin confessed surprised. you laughed.

'yeah, we should've realized this sooner.' he pulled you closer and kissed you. it was different than the other times. his lips moved softly against yours, in contrast to all of your rough and passionate kisses you had exchanged these past few weeks. he conveyed his emotions through the kiss.

'you're ready again?' you groaned as you felt kevin's dick harden against your upper thigh. he chuckled.

'sorry, you just turn me on so much.'

so then you did it for the fourth time. that day, you set a new record of having sex six times. you might have been happy now but still just as horny.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Nabbit

Debut: New Super Mario Bros. U

Nabbit! You all know him, you love him, you asked for him! By which I mean we got an Ask asking to cover Nabbit, and I had previously no intention of doing so but it made me think, hey, I WOULD like to talk about Nabbit! Thanks @oddity-txt! 

Nabbit! Like. Nab it. Cause he’s a rab-a thief, he’s a rabbit thief you get it yeah. This guy is a real piece of work, let me tell you! He steals items from Toad Houses and runs off with them! Those are for Mario! Can you believe not everyone in this economy agrees with hoarding power-ups to give them away to Mario in wacky chance-based minigames? So its up to you to chase him down. And chase him down you do! 

But why does Nabbit want these items? Does he just enjoy the thrill of the chase? Or is he just trying to provide for his family? Can he sell them on the item black market? Why would there be an item black market when you can find this stuff anywhere on the street? Mario doesn’t care. Mario wants to attack the symptom of the problem rather than addressing the systemic cause.  

Still, I feel like we need to have a good talk about what Nabbit is... other than a hooligan, obviously! Earlier I called him a rabbit but taking a look at him, it’s fairly clear he’s wearing some kind of rubbery rabbit suit, with only the black arms and feets sticking out... So of course we need to speculate all the possibilities! Possibility A is that he is a human or some other known character in disguise, which isn’t fun. Next! Possibility B is that he’s an actual rabbit wearing a rabbit-shaped bodysuit, which I quite like because it is absurd. Possibility 3 is none of the above and he is some mystery creature, which I’ll leave up to YOU to imagine because I’m not entirely sure what that would be. 

Point number 2 about Nabbit’s ambiguous identity: the bandanna! It has a similar (but not identical) design to Bowser Jr.’s bandanna, and even though he does not work for Bowser, it just feels like a strangely specific design choice! I can get why Junior wants to look ferocious, but Nabbit is more of the stealthy type right? Because of this I’ve always envisioned Nabbit as having actual fangs under the bandanna, like the Impostor from Amongus, which you can’t disprove because he’s never been seen without it.

Or maybe it’s just fashion. It’s probably just fashionable. 

This isn’t the last we’ll see of Nabbit of course! The developers of New Super Mario Bros. U had precisely three (3) new ideas, and damn if they weren’t gonna milk them for all they’re worth! I could get upset that characters from the New Super series get this treatment when other more beloved characters from spin-offs don’t, but also, come on... look at the guy! I can’t stay mad at him! He’s purple!

So in Nabbit’s next ever appearance, New Super Luigi U... he became playable! Wow, that was quick! With Mario gone, they scrambled around the office for anyone they could find to fill his place, and they settled on Nabbit! They’re not paying Nabbit extra though, so he kind of had to phone it in.

In this game, Nabbit is totally invincible! Why? Maybe he is like Wario and simply does not care enough to get hit. He can’t use power-ups because they didn’t have the budget to design new costumes for him and he can’t pick up items or ride Yoshis. The game frames this as an “easy mode”, but what kind of easy mode forces one player to always use it? Let’s be honest, it’s because they didn’t want to make a brand new character. The Year of Luigi was a tough time for Nintendo! 

So rather then collect power-ups he just puts them in his bag, and they get converted into 1-Ups at the end of the level. Is THIS what he was stealing those items for? Is Nabbit’s ultimate goal to reach immortality through illegally trading 1-Up mushrooms? Maybe something like that probably. It’s kinda fun that he’s a ‘bad guy’ but Luigi and friends don’t really mind keeping him around. 

Nabbit also appears in spin-offs of course. Enough spin-offs that he feels like a proper modern Mario character, but sparsely enough that you think “wow, they put Nabbit in this game?” when they put Nabbit in the game. Here he is in the Rio Olympics, and you could make a very easy joke about him being a thief in Rio de Janeiro, which I won’t. Instead I will ask: why the heck is he carrying his sack in a marathon! Just let go dude! Don’t they have changing room lockers in the Olympics?

Here he is in Golf! As DLC, for all the six people out there who loved Mario Golf World Tour so much they simply had to get new characters for it. This picture labels him as an Eagle but I’m pretty sure he isn’t one, though I might be wrong. 

Here is Nabbit, well known thief, outlaw, and general ne'er-do-well as a doctor! I mean, I know the healthcare system is a scam but this is a little on the nose don’t you think? He just put a pill sticker on his thief sack and called it a day! Can we even be sure there are pills in there? What if he is prescribing patients with stolen Super Acorns from Acorn Plains 5 - Rise of the Piranha Plants? Oh no! 

Nabbit Mario Kart? It is more likely than you think! Of course only in the mobile game with a gacha. They could’ve done it in Mario Kart 8 but they know people will pay good money for Nabbit! Well jokes on them because I got him in the gacha for free. Nyeeh. 

Nabbit is also in Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam! Did you know this? I didn’t play Paper Jam, so I didn’t. I’m sorry. You need to catch him in order to get Bros. Attack items. At one later point, you even fight him! Or rather, fight enemies he kept in his bag, while he naps in the background. Is that legal? He can also pop out behind you and steal your hammers to whack you with. Yeouch! 

However, he also fights ALONGSIDE you for some fights against Bowser’s minions, acting basically like a fourth party member, except you can’t control him or anything. He gives the Bros. healing items from his bag or will occasionally bonk an enemy himself. Hooray for morally ambiguous characters! I guess he’s cool with anything as long as he gets what he wants. 

Finally, I would like to talk about Nabbit in Super Smash Bros.! As one of the few original things to NSMBU, he of course appears in the Mushroom Kingdom U, alongside equally iconic characters like Beanstalk and Water Geyser! In this game he’ll grab people and stuff them in his bag, and then proceed to just... fly away, so they are killed. Wait a minute. A thief who kidnaps characters only to kill them and himself...? That sounds familiar! 

I knew it! This wasn’t really Nabbit at all, but rather Tac from Kirby Super Star sneakily disguised as Nabbit! Sakurai thought he could sneak you into this stage to satiate his never-ending lust for Kirby Super Star references in Smash... He wasn’t even content just having you in Smash Run and Smash Tour! 

Well, mystery solved everyone! I think we can go ahead and end this post while we arrest Tac for his crimes of identity theft, and not regular theft, which isn’t really an actual crime after all. 

[shiroganeryo]

Komui's Discussion Room content (DGM 27)

Volume 27 has been released recently here in Brazil and I realized the remaining of Komui’s Discussion Room were nowhere to be found in English, but after reading all of it, I thought there are very interesting things hence why I wanted to share!

Please bear in mind this is not a direct translation, but a summary.

I have a lot of criticism when it comes to Viz Media’s release (official English), but I’m quite content with the work Panini, the distributor of D.Gray-Man in Brazil, has done so far with the official Portuguese release. If there are any mistakes, please bear in mind I translated the information directly from their version.

There are 11 questions covered in this summary. For the others, please check Jeidafei’s translations on them (totally recommend it!): Part 1 | Part 2 | Author's note & Thanks Corner | Extra

Without further ado, let’s get into it! This got very long.

≫ Kanda hasn’t reached the “critical point” in synchronization yet (+ why Allen isn’t a General)

In the question “How did Kanda hide having gone past the critical point”, Tiedoll answers that he actually has the potential it takes to do it but hasn’t done it yet. Still on the same question, they answer a related question about Allen’s critical point: “If Allen has reached the critical point, why wasn’t he appointed to become a general during the Order’s reconstruction?”

Allen replies that it was impossible at that time since Central was keeping watch over him. Tiedoll adds that he’s also too young and the only one able to operate the Ark, the latter making Central even more suspicious of him. General Cross’s reputation also seems to have played a part in this, having the higher-ups deem Allen as someone they couldn’t trust enough.

Ryo’s note: Allen thanks Tiedoll for putting his thoughts about Cross into words and Cross simply laughs it off. XD

≫ Sleeping positions

They get asked about their sleeping positions. Tiedoll describes how Kanda sleeps with detail (when younger, in fetal position; nowadays, he sleeps lying on his side, preferentially the right side).

Allen comments that Johnny sleeps sprawled on the floor or the desk and that everyone in the Science Division sleeps like this; when he first saw it, he got concerned thinking something tragic had happened. Johnny says it’s comfortable to sleep like this, but Allen isn’t so sure.

Cross comments on how Allen sleeps; he mentions he likes to sleep hugging something and when he can’t do it, he complains until falling asleep. Allen gets flustered and claims that he got used to sleeping with Tim because he used to be big, but is over it nowadays. Johnny remembers Link used to tell him not to sleep with the piggy-bank, to which Allen replies that it was “not a sleeping position, but survival instincts”.

Kanda comments on how he brought a ton of food to the infirmary one time and says it was annoying to listen to him eating nonstop. Allen replies with sarcasm (“sorry for needing to eat to recover my energies”).

Cross sleeps naked, with his arms open (according to Allen).

Tiedoll sleeps on his stomach, blanket over his face.

Ryo’s note: The time Kanda is referring to is in Chapter 135 (135th Night: Repose, Partly Cloudly).

≫ The symbol on the CROWs' foreheads

Cross replies that it’s probably the compulsory mark of the procedure that transforms regular people in CROWs. Tiedoll says that Cross knows a lot, as expected of someone who’s able to use magic –he shrugs off the compliment – and Kanda asks when and how exactly someone like him learned it. He angrily says he didn’t learn it anywhere and ends the question at Allen’s remark that he always gets angry when people ask.

Ryo’s note: This is interesting. Could imply he was the one to teach magic to Nea (and the Earl himself?), and not the other way around. But, it’s also possible he just didn’t want to answer.

≫ “What is something you find impressive on the other, but have never admitted?”

Johnny decides to start with Kanda and Allen, and the two exchange insults for several lines.

Johnny then passes the baton to the Generals, who do the exact same as their apprentices.

Johnny ends the question with a thank you and sweating nervously.

Ryo’s note: By “insults”, I mean things like Kanda calling Allen a crybaby, and Allen saying Kanda’s dumb. Tiedoll calls Cross a delinquent; Cross calls him “doting dad”. The list goes on…

≫ The time Kanda spent with General Tiedoll right after becoming his apprentice (+ Allen’s time with Cross)

They are asked what was the most outstanding episode from such a time, and Kanda absentmindedly says he forgot. Tiedoll seems disappointed, stating they had made so many marvelous memories together, to which Kanda replies “please stop talking in this weird way”.

Allen asks how the travels were, and Tiedoll says the most important at that time was to take care of mending Kanda’s heart. They spent much time talking about amenities, having contact with plants and animals and admiring beautiful landscapes. Tiedoll believes that getting in touch with beautiful things can help to connect with the world, despite carrying the burden of being a Second; he wanted Kanda to feel like regular people feel about the world.

Johnny and Allen are touched, and the latter comments how jealous he is. Cross then reminds Allen of how many bedsheets he had to wash because of him, making him flustered. He then goes on to remind how not only he did that but also had to feed him – Tiedoll comments on how it seems impossible to imagine Cross doing all that – and even help him change many times.

Allen’s embarrassment reaches the maximum and he threatens to beat Cross if he keeps talking about that.

≫ Stories of when Kanda and Lenalee were little

Kanda tries to shrug the question off, but Johnny insists they answer. Tiedoll says that the two of them were really cute, just like two lilies that bloomed inside the gray scenery of the Order; Kanda tells him to stop.

Allen is uninterested in Kanda, but wants to hear about Lenalee. Cross asks him if he likes her, and says he thought he had a girlfriend in the Asian Branch already. Allen denies it and says both LouFa and Lenalee are his friends; Cross laughs, saying he doesn’t judge, and Allen nearly snaps in irritation (again).

Johnny moves on to answer the question; Kanda is against it, but Tiedoll holds him in place. Johnny tells that Jiji told him that at first, Kanda would be asked if Lenalee could train with him, but he would shrug her off saying he didn’t want to train with a girl, which would make her cry.

Every time Kanda made Lenalee cry, she would run off to Reever. In reality, Johnny thinks she wanted to talk to Komui instead, but she thought he was busy and didn’t want to bother him, resulting in her crying at Reever’s desk. Tiedoll and Allen are weeping at it (they thought it’s cute).

While Reever comforted Lenalee, Marie would appear bringing Kanda along, who had no idea how to apologize, while Lenalee would bashfully hide inside Reever’s lab coat. This kept happening until he eventually accepted to train with her.

Johnny starts telling another story involving Kanda’s meditation and Lenalee coming back tired from a mission, but Kanda interrupts him. Allen says it’s being fun and tells him not to bother.

Kanda tells him to shut up, calling him a bedwetter. Allen snaps (again).

Ryo’s note: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

≫ “Who amongst the Noah would Allen best go along with? Hypothetically speaking.”

Allen and Kanda are worn out from fighting (see the previous question); Johnny is giving them calming tea. Tiedoll says that it seems Allen and Tyki Mikk looked friendly when talking to each other, and Allen interjects saying they’re not friends and that Tyki doesn’t respect the notion of personal space.

He then goes on to say he doesn’t imagine himself being friends with any Noah because they lack common sense. Cross mentions Road and how she’s always being flirty with him, which makes Allen tell him to stop implying things, while sounding unsure about being friends with her or not.

Johnny asks if Allen is embarrassed and reminds Road kissed him. He denies being embarrassed and says that kissing is just a form of greeting for her (he’s sweating nervously while saying so). He adds that, on top of that, he feels like Road sees someone else when she looks at him.

Cross seems amused.

Ryo’s note: This answer is very interesting. It seems to confirm the theory that Road had some kind of connection with past!Allen. We won’t know for sure until it’s revealed, but it does seem to imply such a thing.

≫ The taste of Innocence + the Crystal Type Innocence + Exorcist supplies + Cross suspiciously knowing about the Bookman clan

A reader asks how did Innocence taste like when liquefied; Kanda says it tastes like nothing, similar to water.

Johnny points out the wounds that formed after their Innocence became Crystal types and if they don’t hurt. Kanda says that at the time they don’t, but such wounds won’t heal even with his healing ability – which he concludes makes sense since it’s from where the blood comes out to form the weapons.

Johnny mentions that the Science Division (Komui, more specifically) made Lenalee pills that will prevent anemia. Still on that subject, Allen remembers people had asked what goes inside the bags the Exorcists carry on their uniforms. Johnny says they carry first-aid kits, disinfectants, anti-hemorrhagic meds, and things of the sort. Miranda and Timothy carry sweets with a high intake of calories, Krory carries Akuma blood sweets and Lavi and Bookman asked for migraine meds.

Tiedoll says they are nothing without the support of the Science Division and thanks them. Allen asks about Lavi and Bookman getting migraines. Cross mentions it’s probably from an occupational disease because storing that much information and memories can wreck your head over time.

Allen comments again that he seems to know a lot about the Bookman Clan, and that it’s very suspicious. Cross magnificently shrugs off the question.

≫ Allen’s cheating

Allen gets asked if he becomes bad at luck games (i.e gambling) in case he doesn’t cheat. He says that a bet on luck always rewards something even if gains are small, but Johnny says he’s really bad at things like rock-paper-scissors. Kanda thinks he was just in denial about admitting he’s unlucky.

When scolded by Kanda, Allen says it was a matter of survival and that he never cheated good people on; just bad people.

Johnny says living like this is dangerous and that he should stop; Allen apologizes and says he needs money, and if anything, he can use his Innocence.

Cross is amused and sounds proud. Tiedoll regrets Cross’s influence on Allen.

≫ About Link

Allen gets asked if he has ever seen Link smile, to which he responds he has tried making him laugh/smile, but never could do it. Johnny says that everyone from Central is very serious, especially Link. Tiedoll thinks that it might be forbidden to smile when their superior is Director Lvellie.

Allen goes on to ramble about how Link complained about everything: when he had food on his face after or during eating, asking him to redo reports because they were illegible despite Reever being able to read, scolding him for not drying his hair after going out of the bath because he could get a cold, and how he was a shame for not folding his uniform properly before putting it away.

Cross asks him, “what was he? Your mother?” and Allen says he didn’t get annoyed at him. He wonders if all moms are like this.

Johnny says people were worried when he was assigned to watch Allen, but in the end, Link went along well with everyone and confirms that Allen liked him as well. He also states that Allen’s reports became a lot easier to read thanks to him.

Ryo’s note: Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary folks: it’s Link appreciation time! *tips hat* Also Allen wondering about how mothers treat their children was just precious, even if it’s a throwaway comment.

≫ The vibe at the Black Order

In the question “Who runs faster, Komui or Reever?”, Johnny says that he thinks Reever is faster; Allen adds that Komui cheats by using Komurin, though. Kanda gets annoyed and tells them they (at the Science Division) should make Komui behave accordingly to his role. Johnny sniffs and says that they try.

Tiedoll says that it’s actually good that Komui is cheerful because the Order used to be a very different place until he took over the post, and that he (Tiedoll) disliked the gloomy aura it used to have. Allen remembers Lenalee commented about it once and asks if the Order was really this different back then. Tiedoll says that even if it’s been built with a noble purpose, human beings aren’t perfect and a lot of things get distorted over a hundred years. He recommends Allen to ask For about it, as she has existed ever since the Order was founded and protects it to this day.

Allen is sad and comments he wants to visit the Asian Branch again someday. Johnny says he’ll go with Allen, but the latter says he would want to eat Jeryy’s food again before that. Cross sneers and wishes good luck.

They wrap it up at this, and both Kanda and Allen look very happy about being done with the Discussion Corner (as noted by Johnny). Tiedoll bids Cross adieu, and says “rest in peace, Marian” – to which he replies “don’t treat me like a ghost”.

Allen says he knows Cross is an illusion created by his weakness, but that he was happy to see him (in reference to the 222nd Night: Searching for A.W - Hypokrisis). Cross tells him not to exaggerate.

Johnny is content that they could finally keep it to the ideal number of pages – something the Discussion Corner is known to usually have trouble with. Tiedoll says that if they had gone overboard, the next issue’s Discussion Corner would be canceled, and wraps up thanking everyone who has cared about Yu so far and asks that people keep cheering for him.

Johnny thanks the readers for sending their questions. Allen and Kanda are relieved it’s over.

Ryo’s note: And that’s it! Man, this got LONG. Thank you very much for reading until the end. Can’t wait for the next Discussion Room, the way Tiedoll worded it makes it seem like it’ll be on the next volume, 28. I’m excited!

If you're interested in seeing more DGM content from me, feel free to check my masterlist here.

[jpegjade]

Hot Coco (Part 2) - Spencer

random but i finished hot coco part 2 while procrastinating a paper!!! 

warnings: talks about medication and a panic attack but that’s it. 

genre: fluff. a little angsty 

word count: hella. 

Hot coco part 1 - Here

enjoy!

*****

“I hate this.” You muttered, bouncing your leg.

The anxiety filling the air, you noticed every detail about the room and it made you nervous. The little girl across from you wouldn’t stop staring and her mom didn’t do anything to tell her that staring was rude. She also wouldn’t keep still, swinging her legs back and forth while yours bounced. The pictures on the walls were all a little bit crooked. You didn’t like that. You wanted to fix it. Why was it bothering you so much? Everything seemed to bother you these days, even when Spencer was home.

“You’re biting your lip and bouncing your leg. You’ve been staring at that little girl the whole time we’ve been here and you keep fidgeting with the rips in your jeans. You’re anxious about something. What’s up?” Spencer said, half whispering into your ear, trying not to disturb the quiet in the waiting room.

The waiting room wasn’t that big. It was just wide enough to fit the 6 people waiting in the room, plus you and Spencer, but not with enough breathing room. You felt suffocated in that room.

“I don’t like doctors. I especially don’t like the ones that will just tell me something’s wrong with me and classify me as something. I’m not something. I’m a goddamn person.” You angrily half whispered back. You were a little louder than Spencer so the mom of the little girl shot you beady eyes as if you cared. You had the extreme urge to flip her off and Spencer noticed your hand twitching so he grabbed it, interlacing his fingers between them.

“You can’t tell children to go fuck themselves.” Spencer whispered, grinning. “Imagine if it was the girls.”

You paused for a second, thinking about your daughters. The funniest part was that they had seen you get angry at Spencer, even if he didn’t get angry, and you screamed ‘Fuck you’ at him when he barely responded.

“Y/n Reid.” The nurse called out.

You and Spencer stood up together, walking towards the open door, following the nurse. You got your basic vitals taken, weight and blood pressure. You weren’t excited about your weight, and Spencer saw it in your face so he said your weight was “so many pounds of love for only him.” You smiled at his cheesiness, following the nurse into the psychiatrist’s office. The office was different than going to a general doctor. There was no bed for you to recline on, there were only two seats in front of a desk.

The psychiatrist was a nice enough older lady who spent her time trying to get your back story, understand your history, know more about your experiences with anxiety and stress. She just talked to you like a normal human being, not like a patient. She even laughed at some of your jokes, depending on which one you cracked. All of them were about how much you loved your husband and how outgoing your daughters were.

“Do you often have panic attacks and the medication you have doesn’t work?” She asked, scribbling on the paper.

“What medication?” You asked, wondering what you were missing out on.

“She doesn’t take medication.” Spencer said, noticing that your leg was bouncing again. It wasn’t bouncing a moment before. He put his hand on your leg and gently moved his thumb to help calm you.

“Well I’m going to give you something for the day to day anxiety and something for the panic attacks. I’ll see you in two weeks to check in, alright?” The doctor said, handing over some samples and a piece of blue paper with her handwriting on it.

Saying your goodbyes and scheduling the next appointment was a daze to you so Spencer handled it. He was used to making appointments for his mom so long ago that he already knew how things went.

The car ride home was just as frustrating as the appointment so you sat there, arms crossed, staring out into the distance. You barely registered when the two of you pulled into the driveway, parking next to Penelope’s car. Spencer turned off the engine and looked ahead while you looked out your window.

“I used to hate driving.” He said, chuckling.

“Spencer, you still hate driving.” You scrunched up your face.

“That's true. But I hate my girls not being able to get around properly, especially when my favorite girl isn’t feeling her best.” Spencer said, reaching over for your hand.

You uncrossed your arms and let Spencer hold your hand. You felt some of your anger melt away.

“Spencer, I’m broken. How am I supposed to be a good mom to the girls with these?” You shook the sample pill bottles.

“Pills don’t make you any less of a good mom. They don't make you any less of a good wife or less of a person. Honey, you just need some extra help staying regulated and calm.” Spencer kissed your hand and held it to his cheek, flashing those big puppy eyes at you.

“It’s just something else I can’t do by myself…” You said, sighing.

Tears began to prickle your eyes when you felt Spencer put his head in the crook of your neck, resting on your shoulder. His hair was fluffy on your cheek as a tear slipped and you smiled at the feeling. It must not have been comfortable to stretch his torso over the middle console but he still made the effort anyway.

“You know that having to take medication doesn’t define you, right? Needing chemical assistance isn’t a bad thing. It just means you have a need and that’s how you fill the need when I can’t be there. And when I can be there. And when the girls can be there. And when we all can be together, drinking hot chocolate and watching kids movies together.” Spencer lifted his head to kiss you on the cheek.

“That’s easy for you to say.” You sighed, wiping a tear away.

You didn’t know why this was really so frustrating to you but you knew that this was the last thing you wanted. You knew it was hard for Spencer to watch you need medication because it made him think about his mom. You didn't like the moments when you reminded him of his mom because he should only have to worry about his mom and his kids. He shouldn’t have to worry about his wife.

“Let’s go in and get some ice cream. I think you need some ice cream.” Spencer kissed your cheek again before he grabbed the bag of samples and got out of the car.

You watched as he shuffled around to your side of the car, opening the door for you. You wiped away your last tear and stepped out of the car with a deep breath. Spencer pulled you into a calming hug as soon as he closed the door, wrapping his arms around you.

“The girls are so proud of you for getting help.” Spencer said, squeezing you a little bit.

You smiled into his chest knowing he was just  saying that to make you feel better since the girls wouldn’t completely understand the full weight of what it meant to you. Honestly, all you wanted in that moment was a nap.

Spencer let you go, kissed your forehead, and grabbed your hand as the two of you walked up to the front door. As the two of you put the keys in, you heard sounds of screaming, which alerted the two of you.

Penelope was watching the girls so the fact that they were screaming wasn’t a good sign. Spencer quickly unlocked the front door, pushing it open and racing to the living room to find Penelope and the girls screaming in laughter over Halloweentown 2. A big sigh was released between the two of you before the girls noticed that you were home.

Penelope was the first to get up, carefully stepping over the action figures and dolls strewn throughout the floor, arms wide open to hug the two of you. The girls quickly followed behind, Spencer picking them up, and they stretched their little arms as big as possible to reach between their parents and Penelope.

“Did you girls have fun?” You asked as Spencer put the girls down on the floor.

“We did!” Chloe cheered, jumping up and down. She was always more excited than her sister.

"They did!" Penelope said, smiling as she walked over to get her bag.

You offered to pay her with the extra cash you took out of the ATM for her but she refused with every part of her being.

"I did it because I love my little god-daughters." She said, waving at everyone as she closed the door behind her.

You were absolutely exhausted, tired of everything, and a little depressed. You went to your room to lay down while you heard Spencer talking to the girls.

"Okay, loves of my life. It's time to clean up." There was rustling but you didn't really hear anyone move.

In a not so hushed tone, Chloe and Alexandria both asked, "What about mommy? Is she okay?"

There was quiet as you waited for Spencer to figure out how to explain everything to the girls.

"Mommy's going through a hard time right now." Spencer started.

There was more rustling.

"Why?" Alexandria asked. She was always the one to ask questions.

"There's no reason. She didn't do anything wrong. But her brain isn't very happy with life right now so we're going to be very quiet and put everything away and I'll get you girls a snack while you finish the movie." Spencer said.

After you heard giggles that brought a smile to your face, you thought about how badly you wanted to be in the room with the girls and Spencer. But then the feelings of isolation came back. The fear of ruining everything by just being in there with them, their watchful stare as they worried about you. Spencer not seeing you as the person he married...

Before you knew it, you were back in the corner of the room, trying to catch your breath. You curled up as much as possible, facing the wall in front of you as the tears streamed down your face. Thoughts came rushing back to you: Spencer taking the girls and leaving; the girls growing up hating you for not being able to care for them; Spencer leaving you alone with the girls; Spencer...

"Hey, babe? I brought apple slices and..." Spencer looked up from his plate of apple slices he arranged into a smiley face and saw that you weren't in the bed anymore.

Looking around the room, he heard sniffles, the signs of quiet crying, and mumbling. Putting the apple slices on the bed, he found you on the other side of the room, rocking, back facing him.

"Y/n... Are you okay?" Spencer asked.

He knew you weren't okay, not in the slightest, but he wanted to let you know he was in the room and he cared. Meanwhile, your mumbling continued, the labored breathing as you tried and failed to regulate it.

Spencer heard the girls giggling in the living room and was glad that they had their movie and their snacks as he closed the door. They were already worried about you. They shouldn't have to worry more right now.

"I can't..." You kept repeating, over and over again.

You were so far out of it that Spencer didn't think you registered him sitting about a foot away from you as you cried heavily.

"Princess, what can't you do?" Spencer sat with his legs criss-crossed, facing you.

He wanted to badly just to hold you but he didn't want to send you into shock or make anything worse. He still had the pill samples in his pocket and he needed to convince you to take one but he was racking his brain as to how...

"I can't... I can't..." You kept repeating, you head growing light headed. The room was hot and spinning...

"Y/n, please talk to me? It's Spencer. It's just the two of us." Spencer watched as you looked over at him, a hint of recognition in your face.

"Spencer... I can't do this." You said, tears streaming freely now.

"Do what, my love?" Spencer did a small scoot towards you now that you acknowledged him but he didn't touch you. He just got a little bit closer.

"I can't... Anything. I'm not like you. I'm not strong. I'm alone. I'm scared. I can't do any of it." You said, not even bothering to wipe your cheeks of the drying tears because more would just fall.

"You can do this. You aren't alone, I'm here. I got time off from Hotch and we can go on a trip. We can do something different while we get you settled, balanced." Spencer smiled a little, just to give you some ounce of hope, but you weren't going for it.

"Spencer, I can't function... Not like I used to. Not like before..." You burst into a fresh set of tears.

You didn't want it to seem like you were blaming the girls. It wasn't their fault. But you knew things were different than when it was just you and Spencer together. Alone together.

"The girls were a big life change..." Spencer said, already knowing.

He always knew...

"I'm sorry. It's not their fault and it's not yours. It's..." You were about to blame yourself, halfheartedly.

"It's not yours either." Spencer always knew.

You were shaking and all you wanted was to breathe again. Stop crying. Go out and hang out with the joys of your life, all three of them.

"Princess, come here?" Spencer opened his arms and you climbed into his lap.

Whenever you were ready to be touched, Spencer was there with open arms. He knew that you would have said no if you weren't ready. He held onto you softly, not too much pressure. He made sure you could see everything in front of you so you didn't feel closed in. He even had a small bottle of water from the bedside table on the floor with him.

"Spence, I'm a failure..." You said, almost at a whisper.

"You're not a failure. You just need help." Spencer pulled out the little capsule and opened the bottle of water for you.

You stared at it blankly before grabbing it in your hand. Spencer nudged the water bottle a little closer to you and you sighed, taking it in your hand before swallowing it.

"It's supposed to make me sleepy..." You said, sighing again.

"Let's climb into bed and I can hold you until you wake up. Or until the girls start burning the house down. I think that would be grounds for letting go of you to put the fire out." Spencer smiled, kissing the top of your forehead.

You weren't able to walk to the bed on your own so he held you as much as he could as you both climbed in and got comfortable. Spencer noticed you were still shaking even though you were calming down slowly. He knew part of it was because you were cold again and the other part was because you were so emotionally drained from the process.

Spencer put on his 'y/n's bad day' playlist that he made for you on that app you convinced him to get. You know, the music one. The two of you make collaborative playlists to keep each other going through the days when he was away from home. Since the last time you listened to it, Spencer added a couple new songs that you hadn't heard before but you decided you liked. Slowly, your blinking grew longer and your body grew heavier.

"What about a road trip?" Spencer said, thinking.

"Hmm?" You hummed, deciding to just let your eyes close and listen to his heartbeat.

"A road trip. We can go somewhere... Away from here for a little while. Let my girls see something different." Spencer kissed the top of your head as he felt you growing more relaxed. Your grip around his waist was getting looser.

"I think the girls would like that..." Your voice was very soft at this point and Spencer was a little less tense knowing that the medication was helping.

"What about you? You're my girl too." Spencer smiled and nuzzled the top of your head.

"I'm happy whenever I'm with you, wherever we are." You drifted off to sleep with a little snore that Spencer found so cute.

"I love you so much..." Spencer said, yawning.

As if on cue, there was a tiny knock at the door, followed by two heads peaking out from around the now-open door.

"Daddy? Can we lay down with you and mommy?" Alexandria asked as she and Chloe tiptoed towards the end of the bed.

Spencer lifted his head to make sure you were still sleeping before quietly nodding.

The girls climbed into bed on Spencer's side, getting cozy in his free arm. Soon, all of his girls were sound asleep and all he could do was think about how lucky he was to have you. Through all of the darkness he lived in for so long, now he had you and the girls.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt.7)

Well, Natsume's really in it now! Today we'll be talking about what lengths Natsume will go to in order to protect the people he loves. He's not a normal boy with a normal first crush, after all. He has no intention of wooing her or flirting. In fact, his instinct is to distance himself, and going forward we'll see that instinct is motivated by more than just a low self-esteem.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Natsume has some major character flaws. He’s kinda a jerk in general and is rude and abrasive. He’s chronically selfless and seems to be drawn to situations where he can sacrifice himself for others, which is a very unhealthy way to be. He’s also terrible at keeping his word.

Natsume only made this decision on his own, but he’s pretty bad at carrying through with it. He’s the one who told her to stay away, but Natsume will have more and more trouble staying true to such an agreement.

At first, he makes an effort: Mikan is being bullied for her stupidity and sees Natsume. He glares at her, another discouragement from coming any closer. He doesn’t argue with her or join in on the bullying.

But in no time at all, the whole class is riled up in study mode because of Mikan’s example, and for many kids in Class B, the best person to turn to for tutoring help is Natsume, who is actually quite smart when he actually does the work--though he’d prefer not to. And he does help, though not with any kind or supportive words. He’ll leave that to Mikan. Maybe to him it feels a bit like a cheat, like he can afford to give in a little bit. He later walks alongside her after an exam, like he’s part of her circle, and although he’s not really engaging with her like the rest of the kids are, it’s enough that he’s near her.

And it’s enough for the ESP and Persona to notice.

We can see the ESP looking down on them from his headquarters room, still covered in shadows to maintain his mystery, but his figure is familiar enough for a reread. Natsume has been caught and he will have to face the consequences.

Persona subs in for Makihara-sensei (and we must wonder if Makihara was really unable to proctor his exam or if he was ordered to stay away so that a point could be made to Natsume), and despite his disguise, Natsume can tell it’s him instantly. After all, he was supposed to recognize him. Natsume looks horrified.

So far, Natsume has had to more or less balance two very different parts of his life: a more light-hearted life in Class B and his life as a spy and black ops agent. They’ve been difficult to juggle because of how different they are, but they’ve been pretty separated. Here, the lines are blurring. Was there really any divide at all or was that just an illusion? Persona can invade on his happiness any time he wants, on a whim, and nobody else will notice that anything is amiss. Only Natsume will be bothered, and that’s enough.

Natsume later catches up to Persona, asking him what the hell all that was about.

Permy and his fans aren’t the only ones to notice that Natsume has been softer lately--he and the ESP have noticed as well, and he’s been ordered to put a stop to it. He mentions a “kitten of a different color” who has been of interest to the ESP too, and Natsume plays dumb, his last-ditch attempt to protect Mikan from being drawn into this.

Persona comments on the strangeness of seeing the infamous Black Cat that he trained himself, who he’s supposedly only ever seen in action, sitting and taking a test like a normal kid. He reminds him that he’s not a normal kid. There’s no point in trying so hard. He won’t make it to ever see his family again, so why even bother?

And then Persona makes a point to discourage Natsume from getting close to that “kitten of a different color”. Natsume argues that they’re the ones who made them partners in the first place! And he might as well be giving himself away. Again, Natsume seems convinced that the partners thing was a decision from pretty high up, but I don’t think it was. Here, it seems like Persona is trying to clean up the mess Narumi made before it gets too out of hand. Natsume is a perfect tool and anything messing with that is inconvenient. They can’t unmake them partners (yet) so the most they can do is threaten Natsume.

And now we can see what kind of alice Persona has. It's a real threat, killing that plant. It's a reminder to Natsume what he's capable of, that his friends and loved ones could end up just like that plant.

And so Persona does.

Natsume is anguished here, because he’s been trying his very best to avoid this situation, but he should have known that Mikan was already in the academy spotlight and his feelings would be quickly caught. It was too late from the start and he was doomed all along to add Mikan to the list of people he will do anything to protect.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

The next chapter opens with Mikan being confused and hurt by Natsume’s sudden new coldness. She has no idea what’s brought this all on, but we do. Natsume has no choice now but to completely try and cut her off. It’s for her own good, after all. If he’s not careful, she could get hurt. Protecting her is worth it, even if it means he has to be even more of a villain than usual.

We don’t see a lot of Natsume in this chapter, actually, because he’s trying really hard to stick by his word this time. We see him trip up a little, staring at her in class. When she catches him, he turns away coldly, but from this we can see that Natsume really doesn’t want to be leaving her alone like this. If he had it his way, in an ideal world, he’d be much nicer to her. Unfortunately, Natsume doesn’t waste his time thinking about his ideals, so he keeps at it, pushing her away.

The next time we see Natsume, it’s after we’ve been thoroughly introduced to the concept of the life-shortening alice. This is one hint of many that he has such an alice, several chapters before we get a real confirmation.

The scene where Natsume struggles on a bed full of pills is perhaps more dramatic in the anime, but it’s no less potent here. It’s like a sucker punch. You don’t want it to be true. He’s ten years old, for heaven’s sake! TEN YEARS OLD! And he’s suffering, hunched over, face red, gasping for air, clutching his chest, next to the biggest bag of medicine I’ve ever seen. It’s the biggest hint we’ve gotten so far, especially in the context of Kaname’s illness.

It's heart-breaking to imagine that most of the time, Natsume is simply pretending like he's not in absolute physical agony.

Kaname stays at the hospital for long stretches of time, staying for weeks and sometimes months at a time. He’s hospitalized more than he’s able to walk around free. There’s a lot to consider when that treatment is compared to Natsume’s. Natsume is the DA favorite and is sent on many missions. His trips to the hospital are never for weeks or months at a time, not because he doesn’t need the rest, but because the school can’t stand to go so long without their prize fighter. Natsume might be in even worse condition than Kaname, but there’d be no real way to tell unless we got it from him, because he has no choice but to put up with it and pretend like he’s not living in constant agony. And on top of being terribly and terminally ill, he gets physically beaten somewhat regularly… this school beats sick children and then threatens them when they find any inkling of happiness.

There is a bittersweet tone about Kaname’s story. He’s already sick anyway but he will probably die if he keeps using his alice, but he wants to, because he wants to bring people the same happiness that making Bear brought him. It’s tragic and heart-breaking, but it’s touching too. That sweetness is missing from Natsume’s appearance. His situation feels miserable and helpless in comparison, because not only does he have no way out, but nobody even knows the extent of his struggles.

He only lets himself feel this level of pain when he’s all alone in his bedroom. He’s been having a horrible past few days, having to ignore Mikan when she’s all that’s made him happy in recent memory. All that together, and we know that this night was a rough one for him.

The next day, we see everyone saying good-bye to Kaname. Once again, Natsume is completely separated from the rest of them, all alone in the classroom, sitting and looking as miserable as one can expect. It’s strange seeing him now after we’ve seen what his nights look like and just how painful they can get.

I just want him to be okay. Why is that too much to ask?

There’s some text on his panel: “I want the future I spend with the ones I love to last just a little longer.” Yet another hint that maybe his illness is more than just that. He has very little time left, and very little time to spend with his loved ones, but even worse: he can’t even spend time with Mikan because doing so would put her in danger. Even with Youichi and Ruka the amount of time he can spend with them is limited. They have their own lives and he doesn’t want to hold them back or hint in the slightest that there’s something up with him. He doesn’t want to worry or burden them. And so he sits alone in the classroom, looking despondent and lonely.

And now we know more than ever that this was never his choice: he has to be like this.

No, he’s not the asshole he makes himself out to be, somebody who doesn’t care about others and cuts others off because he thinks himself above them. All he wants is to protect people from getting too entrenched in his dark life. Natsume being this level of a jerk is a method to protect people, a method an adult would have to take.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

I’m quite relieved to have finally passed the point where the anime adapts the manga. From now on, I can focus entirely on the manga. I passed 22k words on this essay too! This whole thing will be sooooo long. I hope it’s an enjoyable read so far. It’s quite fun for me to write.

This chapter is the beginning of a long and dramatic arc. There’s been incidents of people losing their alices. The academy is withholding information about the gravity of the situation, lying that the students have not been affected so far.

But even with the little information the kids have, Class B is full of concern. Everyone is discussing these incidents, debating whether losing one’s alice would even be a bad thing. After all, they’d be able to go back home and see their families. Nonoko brings up a great point, that her alice is a part of her identity, something she loves about herself. It’s not something she’d ever willingly part with. Furthermore, she doesn’t want to leave all her friends at the academy either. Ultimately, the kids all agree that they wouldn’t want to lose their alices.

At this, Natsume stands up and leaves the room. He’s heard enough.

Natsume doesn’t just have complicated feelings about his alice--he feels hatred for it. After all, if it weren’t for his alice, he could live to a ripe old age. He could still be with his family. He could be happy, not used as a weapon by the academy to fight until he dies. He can’t relate much to the conversations about fondness for an alice. From what we can see, he’d be over the moon to be rid of it for good. This is a concept brought up now, because it will be incredibly important later on.

Not to spill about my personal life or anything, but I’m an English major (in an anglophone country so my focus is literary analysis and writing). Writing literature papers in school was a love of mine that I translated to my other interests. I’m writing what I can here about general themes and even visual parallels. I want to write as thorough an analysis as I can. Unfortunately, I can’t effectively pick apart word choices and phrases when they’re translated from another language and when so many conflicting translations may exist.

I’m saying all this as a disclaimer because I want to analyze word choice now and I am aware that this might not carry to the original Japanese or even to other versions of the English translation. (For reference, I’m using the TokyoPop versions for my analysis for the first 15 volumes and then I’ll be using whatever I get my hands on for the rest. The pics I use are from scans, but the main source I use for now is TokyoPop.)

"Nowhere!".... hmm let me read way too much into this.

Natsume leaves the room and Ruka chases after him, asking where he’s headed. Natsume responds, “Nowhere.” This might be a nothing point to make, but it stands out to me whenever I read this part. It’s a reassurance to Ruka, sure, but there seems to be more to it. On the surface, we can tell that Natsume doesn’t have a destination in mind; he just doesn’t want to be in the classroom anymore, listening to all that upsetting talk. Deeper than that, he really is heading nowhere. He’s stuck there, at the academy, unlike the rest of them who will eventually leave to go back home once they’ve graduated. Natsume will probably die at the school, trapped within its gates. He will probably never see his family again. He is, in that sense as well, going nowhere.

The rest of their conversation is just as packed with meaning. Ruka can tell something is up and he wants Natsume to talk to him, to let him in, but Natsume knows that Ruka has made a pact not to smile if he’s not smiling. So even though Ruka is asking and wants to know what’s wrong, Natsume won’t give anything away. Being miserable is one thing, but letting Ruka know that something is worse than usual would only make Ruka miserable too, and he can’t have that. The bottom of one page has him frowning, maybe steeling himself, and then at the top of the next page, he turns around with a grin to tousle Ruka’s hair.

Don't mind me. I am simply crying.

“It’s nothing,” he says with his smile, looking so gentle, and Ruka still looks concerned, but he can’t argue anymore.

In reality there’s a lot going on with Natsume. Later, when we are introduced to Tono, he mentions being concerned about Natsume’s health, having heard that he was making frequent visits to the hospital. We already know he’s sick and going on ceaseless missions, and on top of all that he has to ignore and be cruel to the girl he likes. It’s a terrible situation. But Natsume can’t tell Ruka any of this without worrying him, so instead he will keep it to himself. After all, it’s nothing that can be helped or changed. It’s something he feels he has to cope with on his own. To him, spilling his secrets would be selfish and only cause suffering.

Chapter Thirty

Iinchou has finally returned from his visit to his hometown. He’s brought gifts and anecdotes and everyone is quite happy to see him, until Iinchou attempts to use his alice and finds himself unable to.

It’s a shock to the whole class that a kid at their school has lost his alice. They had been so relieved that at least it wouldn’t affect kids like them, but now one of them is a victim too. It makes the fear much more real. If it could happen to Iinchou, it could happen to any of them.

Things get tense when Iinchou returns to class and says that this might have been the fault of a woman he encountered outside of the school, someone who was probably affiliated with Z. Everyone who was involved with saving Natsume when he was kidnapped is shocked to hear about Z again, but none more than Natsume himself. He gets up and leaves, just like he did last chapter.

He’s thinking about the proposal Reo gave, that Natsume should join Z and fight against the academy he despises. But he’s not alone with his thoughts, because Ruka followed him again, and so did Mikan this time.

She tries to ask him about Z, see if he has any more idea about what’s going on. She’s confused and he knows more than anyone what happened during that incident, but he’s refusing to acknowledge her presence, let alone answer any of her questions. He’s keeping up his charade of cruelty to keep her safe, but it’s driving Mikan crazy. She finally breaks, screaming at him that he should pay attention when people are talking to him, and further that if he has any issues with her he should just say it to her face.

Just like last chapter, we see a panel of Natsume steeling himself, ready to do the selfless thing to protect the other person. Only this time the next panel has him glaring at her, saying he doesn’t like anything about her. He hates everything about her.

Natsume has no choice but to lie all the time about how he's feeling, because everyone else must always come first.

It feels different, but in reality this is the same thing he did to Ruka last chapter. He can’t be honest about his feelings when he’s feeling upset, and he can’t be honest about his feelings when he’s actually starting to fall for a girl. He always has to hide his true feelings, repress and bury them, lie about them in order to protect everyone around him. It’s hard for him to do, but he thinks it hurts him more than it could hurt her, so he manages it.

What adds even more layers to this is that Ruka is observing the whole thing. He sees Natsume’s actions as selfless but misfires on the motive a little--but only a little.

He recalls eating strawberries with Natsume and Aoi, with Aoi cheerfully discussing her newfound love for the fruits. And so Natsume gives his to her. Aoi is surprised, because strawberries are his favorites. He responds easily, “I hate them now.”

"For you," Natsume says.

Ruka knows what kind of person Natsume is, that Natsume would reject something he loves so that his loved ones can be happy. They’re both aware that they like the same girl, and Ruka can’t help but put the math together and assume that perhaps Natsume is doing this for him, hurting himself and bringing himself pain so that Ruka can be happy and pursue a girl he has a crush on guilt-free.

He’s even more convinced of the theory with the tiny panel that reminds us of when Natsume shoved Ruka into Mikan so they could dance. Natsume loves Mikan too, but he wants Ruka to be happy, so he will give up and even ruin his own chances to help out his best friend over himself.

When I say it’s a misfire, I mean that Natsume has a lot of other things going on, including Persona and his imminent death. It’s not that he definitely isn’t doing this for Ruka, it’s just that it’s not as major a factor as other things. He’s mainly doing it because of the threats from Persona. If Ruka is involved in his thought process, it’s mainly a bonus. Ruka’s theory is definitely not unfounded; just not completely accurate.

In any case, it does add extra substance to the dynamic between the three of them, where they all walk away from the moment with completely different kinds of misery.

Before any of them can sit with their sadness, though, they receive word that an intruder from Z is at the school.

Conclusion

In this section, we explored how Natsume has no choice but to distance himself from everybody, and even how the methods he uses to distance himself look different depending on the person. Ultimately, despite the fact that he isn't the sweetest kid you'll ever meet, Natsume being cruel to this extent isn't a quirk of his personality: it's what he has to do. If he didn't have so many things being held against him, he might be much kinder to Mikan, or more honest with Ruka, but he has no choice in the matter.

In the next edition, we're getting more involved in the Z Arc and going into how come Natsume goes from telling Mikan he hates her to backing her cause and going on a dangerous mission with her.

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[keanureevesisbae]

Coach Cavill - Chapter 10

Summary: After the autumn market, Henry has a hard time leaving the Jung residence.

Coach!Henry Cavill x Amelia Jung (Asian ofc)

Wordcount: 4.2k

Warnings: None

Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

Henry didn’t leave that weekend.

He drove us back to our house, leaving Kal with the three of us, while he dropped off the dreaded package at Dean and Mindy’s doorstep. When he came back to pick up Kal, Isabella persuaded him to stay over for a sleepover. After all, he did buy us all matching pajamas including one for himself. According to her, that was reason enough for a large sleepover. Henry wouldn’t be Henry if he didn’t non verbally checked with me, before he agreed.

The remainder of that Saturday, we wore our pajamas and despite the fact that it was still mid October and Halloween still had to happen, we watched a ton of cheesy Christmas movies. Benji sat next to Henry, Isabella climbed on my lap and Henry wrapped an arm around my shoulders. It was nice spending time together like this, mindlessly watching movies together.

We stayed up way past the bedtime of the kids, but it was totally worth it. It was one of the best autumn days we’ve experienced in a while.

It was actually one of the best days we had experienced in general since the divorce.

Henry fell asleep on the couch. Despite being the big and buff man he is, he looked adorable as he slept on his side, his hands underneath the pillow after we prepped the couch for him. He might be a judo coach for a living, but spending one entire day with the kids, definitely tired him out, especially since Isabella really likes to be carried. I tucked him in underneath a blanket, before I went upstairs.

That Sunday, the hours passed by slowly, but it wasn’t boring. The kids did their homework, Henry had some coaching stuff to go over and I was preparing my week with the little ones in class. Though we didn’t talk, we were together and it felt good to all sit around the dining table, doing our work.

We made dinner together—in other words: we shoved pizza’s in the oven—and curled up on the couch, to watch even more Christmas movies. By ten in the evening, the kids are securely tucked in by both me and Henry. I can still hear Isabella giggle, while Henry was tucking her in, making silly faces.

Finally the two of us managed to get outside on the porch. Henry has yet to leave, but I’d like to stall that moment a bit more. It is nice that it’s just the two of us, especially since our date got cut off short. Kal fell asleep at our feet and around our shoulders, we have a blanket to keep us warm.

‘Thank you for this weekend,’ I say. ‘The kids and I will remember this for a very long time, I can guarantee.’

Henry shakes his head. ‘I think that I should thank you for this weekend,’ he tells me. ‘I enjoyed every bit of it, starting from Friday seven p.m. I can’t remember when the last time was that I had this much fun. You and the kids are such a blast. My family was never like this.’

‘No?’ I ask. ‘What were the Cavills like then?’

‘The Cavill family is a very serious one,’ Henry explains and I notice the slightly pained expression in his eyes. ‘We never wore matching pajamas, never had Christmas movie marathons and eating pizza on the couch. But… Also the way you guys can talk about certain topics, it’s admirable. The three of you are truly a family.’

I smile. ‘You seem to fit here so well,’ I say. ‘I mean, especially Benji can be a very wait-and-see  type of boy, not necessarily a fan of new people, but he accepted you in a heartbeat.’

Henry nods. ‘I think it helps that we have something in common and that I understand him. Besides, you and the kids are amazing. I think that everyone who is willing to try, could fit here.’

That is so sweet… I nod, before I place my head on his broad shoulder.

‘You’ve got time this week to spend some time together again?’ he asks me, as he places his warm hand on my leg.

‘We could go on Wednesday, after school. I think I’m off a little earlier than usual,’ I say. ‘Eve and Johnny could babysit.’

‘And what would Amelia Jung like to do for her second date?’ he asks me and I can hear in his voice that he is smiling. ‘Bowling? Something to drink somewhere? A long walk? You name it.’

‘We could go apple picking and after that, go to your place to bake an apple pie?’ I suggest with a smile. ‘Usually Eve and I did that when I still had days off during the week and I would love to bake a pie for the kids. Besides, if I check out your place, I can see what needs to be done before the kids and I help you decorate the place.’

‘That sounds like an excellent idea.’

I wrap my arm around his. It would probably wiser if we would say our goodbyes now, but I don’t want him to leave. ‘Whatever happened to us wanting to take it slow?’

He laughs, his shoulder shaking, a nearly silent laugh that makes me chuckle as well. ‘I think that went off the table,’ he chuckles. ‘Besides, I don’t really want to take it slow anymore. I just want to go at a pace that feels right and that might be a little slower or faster than we originally anticipated. We’ll see.’

‘Maybe one day you can actually tell me more about yourself and your divorce? So I can actually get to know you a bit more?’

He smiles. ‘I think apple picking is perfect for that conversation.’

I turn to the side and he pulls my legs over his. ‘You really own the red plaid pajamas, Cavill,’ I chuckle. ‘Isabella loved them and though he tried to pretend that he thought they were “okay”, Benji thought it was cool too. This was such a lovely gift.’ I look down at my own pair of pajamas. ‘And I like them too. Really soft.’

‘They are really comfy,’ he says, rubbing himself on the chest. ‘She picked out a great pair. I just can’t believe that they had it in all our sizes.’

I tilt my head, as I take in his perfect appearance. His blue eyes with the brown spot in it, his well shaped lips and the five ‘o clock shadow on his jaws and cheeks. I place my hand on his cheek, the short hairs prickling in my palm. I let out a soft sigh.

Henry places his hand on my leg, whispering: ‘You are beautiful, Amelia.’

‘Shut up,’ I chuckle. ‘It’s you that looks like utter perfection anyways.’

‘Now you need to shut up,’ Henry laughs. ‘I have never seen someone as beautiful, smart and kind as you. It is beyond me that after your divorce, guys weren’t getting in line way before me and someone hadn’t snatched you away.’

‘You are exaggerating.’ I shake my head. ‘I’m not that special. If I were, they wouldn’t have spoken to me behind my back in the way they did. There is nothing special about a kindergarten teacher, who was boring enough for her husband to leave her.’ I let my hand slide from his cheek, to his chest. ‘I’m nothing special.’

‘That’s nonsense, you know that.’ Our eyes meet, but I’m met with a frown. ‘You don’t know,’ Henry concludes as he studies my face. ‘That’s such a shame, really.’

‘Why?’

‘If only you would see yourself the way I see you,’ he whispers. ‘You are special, amazing, beautiful, kind and funny. So much more,’ he tells me, his hand placed on my cheek, as his thumb runs over my lips. ‘You are so mesmerizing in everything you do.’

‘Wow,’ I say, ‘you sure have a way to make me blush.’

Henry smiles and he places his forehead against mine. ‘Can I ask you a question?’

‘Surprise me,’ I whisper.

‘Can I kiss you?’

I have been thinking about that all weekend. However it was never a good time, since we were always surrounded by the kids and I’m not having my first kiss with someone like Henry while they are watching.

I nod. ‘You can,’ I whisper, but loud enough for him to hear it.

His lips first graze over mine, before he actually kisses me. He is a lot rougher than I’d imagined, but when was the last time I was kissed like this? I wrap my arms around his neck, as I pull him even closer to him. He feels so soft, yet the kiss is so hard and I can still taste the marshmallows from the hot chocolate earlier tonight. We simultaneously open our mouths and his tongue explores mine. My fingers run through his curls, tugging him closer to me.

I mean, of course I dreamed about him kissing me, but this feels so much better than I originally thought it would.

He pulls away a bit sooner than I would like, but he lets out an apologetic smile. ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispers, ‘but I have to catch my breath. It has been quite some time.’

I smile. ‘Yeah, for me too. Good to know that I still got it, though.’

He presses a gentle kiss on my lips. ‘You sure still got it,’ he laughs. He pulls me against his broad frame and I nuzzle my face in his neck. ‘It’s late, I think I should go home, though I really don’t want to.’

‘My couch is more than welcome for you,’ I whisper against his skin, ‘and… Well… I think there is room left in my bed. I mean, if Benji and Isabella sleep there with me, there is still plenty of room left.’

Henry pulls back, as he tilts his heads. ‘Are you sure?’ he asks. ‘I don’t want to overstep.’

‘Of course,’ I say, ‘otherwise I wouldn’t have offered. I mean, you are already in your pajamas.’

Kal, Henry and I walk back inside, lock the house all up, before we quietly head up the stairs. I open the door of my bedroom, hide my bra under a pile of clothes (though it’s ridiculous; I mean, I think the man saw bra’s before) and plop on my side of the bed. ‘When Dean and I got divorced,’ I say, ‘he took the bed with him. So when I bought a new bed, I wanted it to be big enough for me and the kids to all cuddle up there and watch movies.’

He tells Kal to go down, after he placed a blanket on the floor. ‘He took the bed with him?’ he asks me in disbelieve. ‘What? Why?’

‘I don’t know. He took the car, the bed, the television, our lawnmower, while his new place doesn’t really have a lawn, but okay, and some other stuff that we all could really need here, but well… I think he really wanted to take revenge after the judge decided that I should have the place.’

‘He’s a douche,’ Henry says, as he steps in and lays down with his head on the pillow. I flick off the light, but in the dim lighting of the moon that shines into the room, I can still see his beautiful face. I scoot over to him and I place my head on his shoulder.

It has been so long, since I could simply curl up against someone. ‘I think I’ll sleep well tonight.’

‘I know I will,’ he whispers. His arms are wrapped tightly around my body, before I place my leg over his. ‘Good night, Amelia.’

✰ ✰ ✰

The next morning, Henry and I prepare breakfast for the kids, while I also make my infamous sandwiches, including two extra for Henry. He is doing his best to pack the sandwiches in aluminium foil, and as I walk behind him, I place my hand on his back.

‘I’m sorry that this is too messy,’ he says in an apologetic tone. ‘I just never pack anything in aluminium foil.’  

I can’t hide my smile. ‘You’re doing good,’ I tell him, as my hands travel to his shoulder, giving him a firm squeeze in the tight muscles. Waking up this morning to his beautiful face, his arms still tightly wrapped around me, made me feel so giddy and well loved. It was ages since I woke up to someone I was this fond of.

I hear their footsteps upstairs, just like I hear Isabella whine something about her shoes.

‘Co— Henry?’ Benji asks when he walks into the kitchen. ‘You’re still here?’

‘Yeah,’ he says, obviously feeling slightly awkward. Though he looked handsome as ever in his pajama, he looks better in these types of grandpa sweaters and jeans. ‘Look kid, I attempted to pack your sandwiches.’ He throws them at Benji, who catches them with one hand. My son is so considerate, because he really wants to judge Henry’s packing skills, but he keeps quiet about it.

Isabella rushes in the kitchen, and she gasps. ‘Henry! You are here!’ she yells, running towards him, but stops when she sees Kal. ‘Oh, Kal is here too!’ She wraps her arms around Kal, who not only wags his tail, but his entire butt too. She kisses him on his nose. ‘Mom, you want to braid my hair today? Two, please?’

‘Of course, angel, sit here.’

Isabella climbs up on the barstool next to Henry, looks to the side with a cocked eyebrow, before she hands me the hairbrush. ‘Did you sleepover again?’ she asks.

‘I did,’ he answers, packing her sandwich as well.

My daughter hums and that can’t mean anything good. ‘On the couch?’

How does she always know the questions to ask that make everyone around her uncomfortable? It is a gift, I know that for sure. Though I am hoping that she is not going to date ever, since no one will be good enough for her, I know for a matter of fact that she’ll be like this in a relationship. Even if she has the slightest doubt of cheating behavior, she’ll ask. Apparently, she overheard me and Dean talking about Mindy Simpleton. The next morning she asked if her dad was having sleepovers at some other woman’s house and if that was considered bad.

‘Oh, did you sleep in mommy’s bed?’ she asks, when Henry’s cheeks color bright red. She’ll take that as a yes. ‘Well, the bed is big enough. Also, I always like to sleep in mom’s bed. It’s better than the couch. I get it.’

‘You are totally right,’ he says to my daughter, but he avoids making eye contact with Benji, who looks up from his phone, right in my eyes. Benji smiles at me and focuses again on his phone.

I braid Isabella’s hair, as she babbles about her dream where she was walking Kal. ‘Can I walk Kal one day?’

‘Yes, you can,’ Henry says. ‘I think he would like that a lot.’

Our front door opens and I hear four pairs of footsteps. ‘Hello, hello,’ Eve announces herself. ‘I am here to drop off the beautiful young lady Yara.’ She walks into the kitchen with Yara, Lola and Jake. ‘Oh,’ she says. ‘What a nice surprise. Is that why you two wanted to come along?’ she asks the twins.

‘We saw his truck outside,’ Lola says. ‘I kinda wanted to have a good look again of the man who is stealing Amelia’s heart.’

‘Okay, stop it,’ I chuckle.

Eve walks over to Henry, holding out her hand. ‘We didn’t really properly met Friday, so my name is Eve. Kids, come on, introduce yourself properly.’

Her three angels politely introduce themselves to Henry, but leave it to Jake to say: ‘So, looks like someone stayed over twice.’

Henry heavily blushes and I look away, to contain myself from laughter.

Isabella doesn’t pick up the mocking tone (or she does and doesn’t care, that’s actually pretty plausible come to think of it), because she says: ‘He did. He even wore matching pajamas with us.’

Eve looks at me, with a cocked eyebrow. ‘Well, well, well.’

‘He slept in mom’s bed last night.’

‘Okay enough,’ I tell her, gently pulling her braid, to non verbally let her know as well that she needs to keep quiet.

‘Well, looks like your mommy had a lot of fun last night,’ Eve says, ‘as she deserves obviously.’

Jake, Lola and Benji all try to hold back their laughter, but the way they are failing miserably is almost amusing.

‘Yara,’ I say to Isabella’s best friend, ‘are you ready to go?’

‘I am, Amelia,’ she says, hooking her arm through Isabella’s when they are standing next to each other.

‘Okay, you kids can wait here for Hattie if you want,’ I tell Benji, Lola and Jake. ‘There are some snacks in the refrigerator that you might want to have before school or bring something to school with you.’

‘You’re the best, Amelia,’ Jake says.

‘We’re so lucky to have an aunt like you,’ Lola says.

‘No need to kiss ass,’ I tell them. ‘I don’t know what you guys want from me, but flattery won’t get you anywhere. Okay, Yara, Isabella, you girls ready to go?’

‘We are,’ Yara says, who gives her mom a kiss.

I press a kiss on Benji’s cheek, telling him that he should not forget his library card. Without even thinking, I wish Henry a wonderful day and that we’ll see him tonight during training, before kissing him on the lips. An audible gasp makes me freeze. ‘Oh shit,’ I say.

‘Mom, you can’t say shit,’ Isabella says. ‘When I do, you get mad.’

‘We’re going,’ I tell the girls. I point to Eve and the three teenagers, who al desperately want to say something about this. ‘Shut up, I don’t want to hear anything about it.’ My face is probably even redder than a firetruck and I rush out of the house. Maybe it was unfair of me leaving Henry alone with Eve and the kids, but he is a grown man and can probably handle it.

Yara, Isabella and I get in the car and I take a deep breath. ‘So, girls,’ I say, hopefully being able to distract them, but Yara starts to giggle. ‘What is it?’ I ask her, as I start the car.

‘Are you in love with him, Amelia?’ she asks me.

‘She is,’ Isabella answers for me. ‘Right, mom?’

‘Right,’ I say, knowing I can’t come out of this. ‘Just, please, don’t say anything about this in school, okay? I don’t want people to talk about this.’

Isabella and Yara both nod. ‘Our lips are closed.’

‘Sealed, honey, but I appreciate the effort. I knew I could count on you girls.’

✰ ✰ ✰

Amelia: I’m so sorry for leaving you behind with Eve and the three kids. Are you okay?

Henry: It was quite amusing. I was told by three fourteen year olds that if I were to break your heart, they would hunt me down.

Amelia: Oh goodness, no…

Henry: Don’t you worry about it, okay?

Amelia: You sure? I mean, I kinda left you in a shitty situation. Leaving you after that kiss?

Henry: That was okay. Eve told me that I looked like someone who knew what they were doing and that I should keep it up.

Amelia: Of course she did.

Henry: It’s okay. Don’t you worry about it. See you tonight?

Amelia: Definitely see you tonight.

✰ ✰ ✰

Benji and I walk into the training center, as the place is packed with desperate moms. The crowd actually grows every training, it’s nearly pathetic. Henry already is wearing his judo pants, with a black hoodie on top. ‘There you two are,’ he says with a wide smile. ‘Get dressed, kid. I want to go over some things with you, for the match this Saturday.’

‘Sure thing… Coach.’ Benji smiles at his coach, before walking to the dressing rooms.

‘And for you,’ Henry says with a grin, ‘I have a cappuccino with a pump of hazelnut syrup.’

‘You’re amazing,’ I say, taking over the cup and I see that he made a little flower as latte art. ‘How do I thank you?’

‘Making two extra sandwiches for me tomorrow morning. I’ll pick them up.’

I chuckle. ‘That can be easily arranged.’ I place my hand on his underarm, squeezing him there for a second, before walking up to the bleachers. I take a sip, when I hear someone clearing their throat. I turn to the side and see it’s Trixie Cooper… Oh no, wait, it’s Trixie Yates now, because she got married to Lucas Yates, the most popular guy back in high school. ‘What do you want, Trixie?’ I ask her. ‘You haven’t spoken to me since the Christmas PTA meeting three years ago. What changed?’ I think it starts with a C and ends with oach Cavill.

‘I’ve heard rumors about you and coach Cavill.’

I am truly gifted. ‘We’re not in Meadows High anymore. I think we’re too old now for gossiping, don’t you think?’

She doesn’t. ‘You went to the Autumn Market with him and your kids. I even heard that he brought a package to Mindy and Dean. Turns out little Mindy is pregnant. That must make you feel so… I don’t know the word.’

‘What do you want?’ I ask her, before taking another sip of my delicious cappuccino. Henry is on another level when it comes to cappuccino’s. His outrank every cappuccino I have ever had.

‘Just wanted to check how you were doing. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for you… Knowing that your ex husband is going to have another kid. I mean, you are only thirty five, still plenty of time to have kids with Henry, but you need to hurry, love. You don’t want to host a sweet sixteen party and a baby shower in the same month now do you?’ She pats me on the shoulder and walks off.

There is a thought…

Henry walks over to me and sits next to me. ‘Is your cappuccino good?’

‘It’s wonderful,’ I quickly say, while I try to forget Trixie’s words. ‘You surely are talented. You should work part time at the cafe. They could learn a thing or two from you.’

He starts to laugh. ‘By the way, I was wondering something. I wanted to talk to Benji and maybe later to Isabella, to ask them what they expect from me.’

My brain doesn’t follow. ‘What?’

‘You know, I don’t want them to think I’m simply going to take their mom away from them or that I’m really desperately trying to become their dad. I think we should get that out of the way, you know what I mean.’

I smile, my heart swelling with love. ‘Oh my gosh, that is so sweet. I just think they already know. I’m actually sure they already know. However I do think it’s admirable that you want to talk to them. Very considerate of you.’

He bumps his knee against mine. ‘I’ve gotta go. See you afterwards.’ He stands up and walks away. I look at my phone and decide to call Eve, as I get out of the gymnasium.

‘What is up, beautiful woman?’ she asks and she knows exactly how to make me feel better, even if it is a little bit.

‘Okay, just a little something,’ I say. I repeat Trixie’s words and add: ‘But what if he does want kids?’

‘First of all,’ Eve says, ‘why are you even letting a dumb bitch like Trixie get to your head like this? This is what she does, Amelia. Butting into other people’s business for the worse. Second of all, you two are barely dating. Don’t sweat about it.’

‘You sure?’ I ask her. ‘I mean, she does have a point.’

‘Well, if it turns out he really wants kids and it’s a dealbreaker that you don’t want more, then he is an idiot and you two weren’t meant to be. It’s honestly as easy as that.’

I let out a sigh. ‘Oh my, I did it again. Let Trixie’s words get to me. Oh my, I’m back in high school again.’

Eve starts to laugh. ‘But thankfully, after all these years, you still have me next to you. I’ve got your back, girl. Now get back inside, because I can hear the cars clearly and have some heavy eye sex with your man.’

‘OMG, mom, I can hear you,’ Lola says. ‘Disgusting.’

‘I’m with Lola on that one,’ I laugh, as I get back inside. I hang up and sit down again on the bleachers. Benji stretches his neck, as he frowns looking at me. I quickly send him a reassuring smile, before I lean back in the plastic chair.

I shouldn’t let this get to me. We’re just getting to know one another, we don’t need to think that far ahead in the future. I should enjoy his company for now and think about these matters later. I deserve to have some fun, to be carefree. I haven’t really been carefree since I was fifteen. Being a trainee, an idol, going to college, getting pregnant, graduating, marrying, working, raising kids, I was always on guard, making sure that everything would go just fine. I should just enjoy the moment. Not worrying about everything every single second.

I think that’s doable.

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Genji Heavy Industries (Part 1) Preparations

The MC doesn’t play a major role here, because there’s not much role to play. But she has a lot to say and lots of THOUGHTS.

The book is funny and I’ve kept the humor of the original novel. I also like that the MC here has a genuine sense of humor that makes her likeable and relatable to the rest of the boys.

ENJOY

There are several luxurious private rooms on the third floor of the Takamagahara for private party guests, and the spending amount is, of course, much higher than the card seats on the first floor. A guest can't go to the third floor without throwing a few million yen a night. 

The music inside the room where Chu Zihang and Caesar were hosting was deafening. You knock loudly to be heard.

"Little Sister, is that you? Don't come in!" Lu Mingfei yelled from inside. He sounds breathless, panting. In fact, when you press your ear to the door, all you hear is his heavy breathing and grunting from physical exertion. Your heart beats faster and your cheeks flush as your imagination runs wild with what must be happening. You back away from the door. You've been up to your ears in man-meat for hours so it wasn't a stretch to conjure images of Chu Zihang and Lu Mingfei embracing passionately. Poor Nono. Surely Caesar wouldn't be unfaithful to her, right? You bring your fist to your lips and your heart squeezes in sympathy. 

The door swings open and Caesar appears. He's stripped down to his underwear. Your eyes snap to the gentle curve of Caesar’s crotch, which, in your alcohol-addled mind, seemed to bulge out to enormous proportions!

 He grabs your arm and drags you inside, slamming the door behind you.

Women were lying side by side on the floor, their dresses in disarray. Lu Mingfei and Chu Zihang are breaking a sweat to drag all the bodies around. 

“What do you need me to do?” You stammer and glance away. Were you going to end up on the floor too?

“Just wait until we’re finished. How was your time downstairs? You seem a little tipsy. How much did you drink?” Caesar picked up a woman and settled her gently back on the couch.

“I’m not sure. I think someone kept refilling my cup.” You twine your fingers. You can't turn around and look at him in his skivvies. Nono would probably laugh at you and the rest of the girls in the Student Union might resort to mob violence!

Lu Mingfei hissed. “What? That’s awful! Someone should do something about that! Those brutes didn’t do anything to you, did they?”

You shake your head. The room tilts and you try to hide it and the fact that youre suddenly breathless. “No, nothing like that. They were just… um… Are those women drugged?” You change the subject as the memories of the physical proximity of Diamond's and Chance's lips to yours, Calypso’s unopened rose and Armani’s lustful glare spring back to mind and combine with Caesar's sudden full frontal to create a sexual kaleidoscope you couldn’t handle.

"Strong sleeping pills plus strong alcohol. They have to sleep at least until tomorrow morning." Caesar shook a small pill bottle.

“Isn’t that a little dangerous? Sounds like a great way to make them sleep forever!” You recalled heroin and vodka was strictly forbidden because combined someone could easily commit suicide.

“I made sure it was alright.” Chu Zihang said, straightening a girl’s skirt. "We have about eight hours between now and tomorrow morning, enough time to get to and from Genji Heavy Industries. We ordered enough champagne before we came in so that no waiter would come in to check on us during that time. And these women were so drunk before they arrived, they won't remember what happened tonight." 

 He straightened his back and moved to the next. “By the way, did you give out any Star-flower tickets? I would have watched but, as you can see, I had to work.”

“No… no tickets.”

“Little Sister’s purity is as strong as Fort Knox! I’m so happy!” Lu Mingfei sighed with relief. “Don't worry, we’ll be out of here before anything happens!”

“That’s a good strategy in any case. You don’t want to show your favor to anyone in the first episode…” Chu Zihang gave a sage nod and moved to the next lady.

Lu Mingfei bristled. “What kind of lewd advice are you giving, Senior Brother?”

“So what’s the plan for the Genji Building?” You ask. You calm down and feel tired and tense, but seeing them working so hard despite having one of the busiest nights at Takamagahara was inspiring. The couches looked soft and inviting but you wouldn’t look weak in front of them so you continue to stand and try to look energetic.

"Uncover the skeletons in Hydra’s closet. And while we’re there, blow shit up." Caesar lit a cigar, the firelight illuminating the colored makeup on his face. 

"There are 15 pounds of C4 explosives in the equipment box, is that enough?" Chu Zihang took out a packet of Play-Doh-like stuff from the box. 

You recognize the packets. They’re dark green and can be arbitrarily pinched into any shape. They are easy to carry and easy to use. As the world's worst terrorists, according to Hydra, C4 plastic explosives would fit your needs. 

"Hey, hey, hey, hey! What are you doing with explosives out? We are turning into the kind of people on the wanted list step by step!" Lu Mingfei exclaimed. 

"We are wanted by the police department for smuggling nuclear fuel, terrorist attacks and raping young girls. As long as we don't do that last thing, we're not on the wanted list yet." Caesar fastened the leather sheath of the Dictator on the outside of his thigh, the Desert Eagle in the holsters on both ribs, and the eight magazines filled with Frigga bullets on the side of his waist, "It won’t be that bad. Chu and I are just going to blow up Kaguya's storage core. Kaguya is the first line of defense for the Hydra Clan. We blow it up and Hydra will go blind. Norma can take advantage of the opportunity to regain control of the network within Japan." 

“Caesar?” You ask.

“Yes, hun?”

“Am I also wanted for raping girls?” You give a dry smile.

He shoots you a genuine grin and snorts.

"Do not rush to change clothes, we have to leave some evidence." Chu Zihang said. 

"Almost forgot." Caesar took off his weapons and re-dressed in the slim purple suit, "Good thing I didn't take off my makeup." 

Chu Zihang fished out a cell phone from a guest's bag and handed it to you. “Here, take our picture.”

“Got it.” You say.

Caesar sat down on the sofa, dragged a woman to his side and pressed her to his body. He stuffed a microphone in her hand, and took a microphone himself, as if he was singing. 

Then Chu Zihang sat in the middle of the guests wearing a conical hat singing birthday songs, and Lu Mingfei pretended to accompany guests drinking and playing craps. Chu Zihang and Caesar pantomimed topless arm wrestling.

For each photo, Chu Zihang and Caesar adjust the phone time, so that the guests will wake up and, after checking their phones, they’ll think they spent an unforgettable night with the beautiful boys! But, unfortunately, they can't remember any details because they drank too much and can only imagine. Looking at the phones, you’re filled with a sad sort of regret that the boys actually didn’t have fun like this.

Lu Mingfei is full of panic, "If these photos leak out our reputation is finished! But we didn't do anything at all!" 

"MC, help me check the fuses on this C4.”

You scurry over without hesitation. Caesar leans in close to you. “You know about this too, huh? First shooting, now explosives…?” He says with a grin.

“I can hotwire a car… or I used to be able to. Not sure if I can do it with the newer models. I can’t fly a plane though.” You look up at him. “I’ll be the cutest little terrorist right?”

“Are you hearing anything I’m saying?!” Mingfei whines. 

“Are you sad because you didn’t do anything, but you now have a bad reputation?" Caesar looks bored. "Then do you want me and Chu Zihang to go out and wait for you for a while, so you can earn your bad rep?" 

"Bullshit! From now on I'm going to fight alongside you guys every step of the way! You guys aren’t going to leave me to take the blame alone!"

Caesar hands you a bundle of clothing. “Here. Put these on and get ready to go.” 

You take them and quickly duck behind the couches, pulling your dress over your head and slipping out of your heels. You unfold a skintight black bodysuit that fits you near perfectly and a trench coat with the splendid Ukiyo-E on the lining, made to look like they are from the Japanese Executive Department.

“Here. Don’t use them all at once.” Caesar draped a belt with a pistol holster and pouches of ammunition over the couch. Your heart warms at the side of this deadly weaponry more than the rose of Calypso. You were finally being trusted with a gun. 

When you step back around, you're fully equipped. Your tired haze is gone and your mind is only on the mission again.

Chu Zihang put his sword on his back, slipped into a black trench coat and screwed a black baseball cap on his head. Caesar is also in a black trench coat and was covering his face in dark makeup to conceal his fair skin.

"Isn’t it a little too risky? We can barely speak Japanese. How are we going to impersonate the Executive Board? People just have to ask us something complicated and we'll be exposed!" Lu Mingfei said. 

“I know it’s hard but you could try keeping your mouth shut…” You grumble, screwing on the belt. Just putting on these dangerous weapons brought you away from the Takamagahara summer of love to the cold winter of Siberia.

"MC, be nice…” Caesar chided. 

“Of course we can't break in. Genji Heavy Industries is a heavily fortified building, as tight as the Japanese Self Defense Force headquarters. Caesar and I spent a few days researching. It is a general office building from the first floor to the twentieth floor, and above the twentieth floor is the office area used by the Hydra. Access is by access card, and there are security guards patrolling. Those security guards are all armed. Even wearing the clothes of the Executive Board, an unfamiliar face may be questioned. Not to mention, that without the help of Norma, I cannot make access cards." Chu Zihang spread out a hand-drawn map, "The only possibility is to sneak in from the sewers and enter the so-called 'inner district'. There is no access control system in the inner district." 

You remembered that they had taken the elevator down below ground when you visited the Genji Heavy Industries and you saw the huge sewer system in Tokyo. The submarine dock of the Iwarui Institute was located in a giant twelve-meter diameter pipe. 

“Shouldn't the inner district have a tighter security network than outside?" Lu Mingfei looked completely unsure. 

You’re not confident either. Looking at the map, with only one way in and one way out, you get the sense that the moment something goes wrong, you’re going to be trapped inside with the enemy. The pipe was deep and led to the ocean. Given the volcanic activity down there, if you had an opportunity to use your soul skill you might be able to open an alternate tunnel like a lava tube to escape or even block this pipe with lava on the way out. The problem is your Soul Skill is not instantaneous.

"No one knows what the security system in the inner zone is, but at least we can avoid the people coming and going by going through the inner zone passage." The map Chu Zihang drew by hand was a map of the sewer system in Shinjuku district. His finger moved along the spider web of sewer pipes, "There's a sewer right below Takamagahara. We'll follow it east, bypass under the Shinjuku subway station, and shortly after entering the main channel, we'll see Genji Heavy Industries. Total length is two kilometers." 

"It’s like we’re just going to wing it right? But come on, This isn’t some My Little Pony Ride. Genji Heavy Industries is like a rushing river, we'll be up a creek if we make one misstep." 

"How can we know if we don't try? If we get caught, we’ll kill our way out." Caesar said gently.

"Hey! Of course you two Robocops can easily kill out! Have you considered that there are still civilized and weak students in the team?”

“Mingfei,” You say softly. He looks over at you, genuinely frightened. "You think I'm weak? Who has the biggest body count for this mission?"

“Little Sister, how can you smile in such a situation. Have you lost your mind? You of all people should be on my side…”

“Don’t you remember what I did in the streets of Chizuru?”

Mingfei frowned, recalling how you killed over and over. “But it’s not right for you to be doing things like that.” 

Chu Zihang confirms your assumption. “Her Soul Skill is the first one that I’ve witnessed that is truly S-Grade.” Chu Zihang rolled up the map. “Her control of it is impressive. Her ability to misshape the earth will help us find a way out by creating a new tunnel underground if necessary, and we have scouted several promising escape routes. Not only that, Royal Fire could take down the Internet Cafe’s wooden structure, but it wouldn’t be able to shift the Genji Heavy Industries building. But her ability is likely to do it. Right, MC?”

You nod gravely.

“If it comes to that, we can threaten the entire building. They were extra proud of that building and probably wouldn't want to lose it in a tragic earthquake..” Caesar smirks.

“I still don’t like it.” 

"Then you'd better stay and take care of the girls. Watching over a dozen unclothed and sleeping women alone in a room late at night is a job for a frail scholar, right?" Caesar shrugged.

"Am I such an unkind and unrighteous person? Can I watch you two go into the dragon's den and wait here by myself? Don't answer that. Just give me a gun!" Lu Mingfei was once again bold and firm, though he gave an owlish glance at the women.

"Very well! We in the Student Council never back down from a fight!" Caesar drew out a heavy Beretta 92FS and threw it to Lu Mingfei, "I”ve been waiting to give this to you. Thirteen-round magazine, the first nine rounds are Frigga anesthesia ammunition. The back four rounds are specially designed to deal with dragons. Mercury core, blunt armor-piercing ammunition. Don't use that kind of bullets against humans or hybrids. Although mercury is not that deadly to humans, it’s troublesome after contamination, and the armor-breaking warheads will leave penetrating wounds on ordinary bodies.”

"Will there be any dragons in the Genji Heavy Industry?" Lu Mingfei thrust his gun into his back waist, "I say just load them all up with Frigga tranquilizer rounds." 

“MC was the last witness to Lenin's last voyage when a dragon embryo was sunk in a Japanese trench. They tried to kill her once before to hide what happened that day. The Japanese Hydra  leader speaks with the same Russian Accent as the MC and then turns on the Academy as soon as he thinks we’re dead at the bottom of the sea? And then tries their hardest to capture us in Chizuru? And now tries to pin us down in Japan…”

Caesar looks down at you. “MC… you were invited on this mission for a reason. I intend to find out why. I think they’re after you… more than they are after us.”

[donutloverxo]

Salty Baby

Chapter four

Authors note- I use the term daddy too liberally to the point where it has become a joke so I didn't think I could write this but here we are lol. If you want in on the taglist let me know. Don't be afraid to leave feedback I don't bite, not in a bad way anyway. Happy reading 💕

Please do not repost or steal my works. Reblogs are welcome.

Summary- When you moved to New York in hopes of living a glamorous life this isn’t what you expected. Steve offers to help you but your pride gets in the way. Pride isn’t going to pay your rent and college loans.

Pairing- Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings- smut, daddy kink, sugar baby/daddy dynamics, slight kink shaming, angst, spanking

Word count- 3.2k

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter five

Masterlist

You woke up the next morning expecting to be on your sisters couch. You rubbed your eyes taking in your surroundings. Then you remembered, you were in Steve’s bedroom. His bed. You clenched your thighs when you felt the dull ache still present from last night’s activities.

You looked around to put something on. To cover your non-existent modesty. You grabbed a sweatshirt that was on top of his dresser. Hoping to be like one of those sexy girl in movies with their morning after glow.

You looked around his living room calling out for him. You didn’t get a chance to get a good look at his apartment last night. You were upset with your sister and then turned on by him.

His apartment, unlike Steve, looked like it didn’t have any personality. All the furniture looked generic, straight out of a IKEA catalogue. Something that caught your eye, the strip of photos you took with him in a photo booth at a fall festival you had been to.

You smiled at it your heart swelling. He was probably more crazy about you than you were about him.

There were a few old framed photo frames beside it. You recognized some of the people. One was of Steve, Peggy Carter and Howard Stark. And another of Steve and probably his best friend Bucky.

Steve always talked fondly of him. He was excited when he mentioned Bucky, but then he’d get this far away lost look in his eyes. If you could take his pain from him, you would. That’s not how it works though. You knew that better than anyone.

You jumped when Steve called your name. “In the kitchen” He yelled.

You entered the kitchen to see him cutting up strawberries. He was wearing a tight white tank top that left very little to your imagination. His usually combed hair now messed up.

“Good morning” He grinned widely at you.

You could certainly feel the afterglow radiating off of him. You felt a bit self conscious, you hadn’t brushed your teeth or made your hair. You were only wearing his sweatshirt that barely reached your legs and looked comically big on you.

“Good morning” You took a seat at the small table. “Oh I don’t drink coffee” You said looking at the cup of coffee in front of you.

“I know that’s for me” He winked at you “I made you some tea” He poured out your tea in a cup setting it in front of you.

You giggled at the smiley face he made on your pancake with strawberries and whipped cream “Thank you” you kissed his cheek.

You both ate your breakfast in what can only be described as comfortable silence. You didn’t feel like you had to talk or entertain him. You were still drained from everything that happened last night and the busy week you had.

“Here” he handed you a key after he had done the dishes.

You took it from him looked at him confused.

“It’s a key” He stated as if it’s a fact.

“I can see that” You deadpanned

“To my apartment. This apartment. I don’t know what you want to do but I’d like you to stay” He said awkwardly turning red. He was always cute like that. “It’s completely okay if you don’t want to. But you said you didn’t like living with your sister”

Which was true. You didn’t get a moments peace with your toddler nephews and your annoying sister. But then again she had always been good at taking advantage of you.

“I... Are you sure?” You asked fiddling with the keychain.

“Yeah. I uh.. have to leave though”

You whipped your head up “Where are you going?”

“Got called up on a mission for two days. Give or take a few. You can stay here as long as you like”

“I know you already said that” You were a bit sad at him leaving but grateful for his kindness.

You decided to stay with Steve at least for a couple of days. Maybe Anna would come to her senses and see just how much she needs you.

Steve dropped you off at your apartment wishing you luck. Which you needed. You’d rather not be here but you had to get your pills. You had been on them since you can remember. You were apprehensive about them at first but they helped control your anaemia. You couldn’t be careless with them now that you were actually sexually active. Your nephews served as excellent encouragement to take birth control.

You opened the door, which Anna forgot to lock as always, and walked into the living room. You hastily started stuffing some clothes, your books and your pills in a bag.

You cringed when you heard Anna call out your name. You turned around to see her glaring at you.

“Where were you last night?” She spat obviously still fuming at you.

“I was at my boyfriends” You continued packing your things. The sooner you’re out of here the better.

“Well where do you think you’re going now?” She folded her hands staring you down. As if that would stop you.

“I’m going to live with him from now on”

“What?!” she yelled you cringed again. “Who is this guy? I’ve never even met him. You’ve known him for a month! You know better than that” She said condescendingly shaking her head.

She had some nerve questioning your life choices. “Didn’t you and Brock have a shot gun wedding?”

“Doesn’t he live in Manhattan? How are you going to afford rent?” She evaded your question.

Steve would never even let you pay for popcorn you highly doubt he'd ask for rent. “You don’t have to worry about that” You strapped the bag onto your shoulders.

“You’ve known him for a month! Have you lost your mind!”

“I know him enough. I’m in love with him” you looked at her shocked at your own words. You had never told anyone you loved them. You had surely never been in love. There wasn’t much to not love about Steve. But would he feel the same way?

“Oh my god. You went and got yourself a sugar daddy”

“What the fuck is that? I don’t do those kind of things!” You had heard of it being a kink from your classmates and coworkers. However it never appealed to you.

“Yeah you made fun of me for letting men take care of me and now you’re doing the exact same thing”

“Whatever” You waved her off. You had packed as much as you could. You still had a few things left, but you could take care of them later. “Don’t I deserve to be taken care of? After everything I’ve been through?” You suppressed the urge to smack her when she rolled her eyes at you. “Can I say goodbye to the kids?” You asked.

They were little cretins but they were occasionally somewhat nice to you. After hugging them both, they probably couldn’t understand that you wouldn’t be living with them anymore, and some more glares and swears from Anna, you left deciding to never look back.

***

It had been over a month since your fight with Anna. You were still living with Steve. He had convinced you to quit your job at the cafe. It ate up too much of your time. You didn’t need the money now that you didn’t have to pay rent. You still had your job at your college library.

You had found, after doing a quick google search, that a sugar daddy is 'a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young woman in return for her company or sexual favours'

Which was true for you and Steve. He was older than you, by almost a century. You weren’t sure if he was rich. You thought so but it was hard to tell with his simple and humble way of life. You never bothered to ask him because it didn’t really matter. He liked to buy you things. You accepted them to indulge him. It was hard to say no when he looked at you with those puppy eyes.

The search for what sugar daddy meant sent you into a deeper dive. Full of porn and erotica with women and men calling their partners daddy. You still couldn’t comprehend it’s appeal. Why would anyone be turned on by that?

You did clench your thighs together, rubbing them whenever you thought of Steve like that. He was somewhat of a ‘daddy’ in bed. In the way that he always took care of you, never letting you do too much work, always making you feel protected. You would be too exhausted from all the orgasms anyway.

It was very vanilla and conventional, you mostly only had soft slow missionary sex. Steve was afraid to hurt you which you understood. You weren’t keen on getting hurt either. Maybe some kinds of hurt weren’t so bad...

It maybe vanilla and boring to some people but to you it was passionate and satisfying in every way.

You were lying on your back, panting heavily from the multiple orgasms Steve had given you with his mouth.

You wiped your forehead with your right hand, catching a glimpse of the platinum bracelet he’d got you for your two month anniversary. He loved celebrating the little things in life. You would too if you were frozen in ice for seventy years.

He had taken you for that horse carriage he was so excited about and a nice dinner. You did feel bad about not getting him anything. However he didn’t seem to mind. You had to repay him somehow.

You felt him line himself up to your entrance. This has been the routine more or less for the past month. Almost everyday Steve would eat you out and then make love to you until you couldn’t even walk straight. He never even let you get a good look at his dick.

You abruptly stopped him sitting up straight. He looked at you confused. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

You gave him a evil smirk matched inversely by your big innocent eyes. You licked a strip up your hand all the while maintaining eye contact with him. Taking his thick length in your hand you started stroking it. Slowly and steadily building up your pace.

You had never sucked a cock before. You didn’t think you could, considering just how big and thick Steve was. But looking at the white creamy slick coming out of his angry red tip, you had to get a taste. You did owe him after all.

You placed a small kiss on the tip smearing some of his cum on your lips. You dragged you tongue over your bottom lip to get a taste. It was salty and musky. In a strange way it tasted a lot like Steve.

Feeling a bit more sure of yourself you licked a few stripes up his tip and then moved on to licking his slit.

Steve was cursing and moaning above you. He had bunched up your hair in his hand. He was always afraid to lose control, he had a reputation to maintain after all.

He grabbed a hold of your chin, making you look up at him. “You don’t have to do that” His hard cock in your hand and his shortness of breath betrayed his words.

You ignored him, continuing to lick him up and savor as much of his delicious taste as you can. Finally you took him in your mouth, sucking and swirling your tongue around his tip. You couldn’t swallow him whole so you stroked the rest of his length with your hand.

He bunched up your hair in his hand tugging it before letting go and holding onto your shoulder.

You weren’t having it. You took his hand putting it on the back of your head. Silently asking him to fuck your face.

He choked a groan back when he looked down at you. His cock in your mouth, your beautiful eyes pleading him to fuck you. He used both his hand to grab onto your face stilling you. He thrusted himself in and out of your mouth, being careful not to be too hard, he didn’t want you choking on him. He directed you to fondle his balls. You complied. You always complied with him.

He felt himself on the edge of orgasm. But he didn’t want to come in your mouth. He pulled out of your mouth.

“I want your come in my mouth” You whined trying to swallow him whole again.

He smacked your hands away. He gave his cock a few strokes with his hand, much to your dismay. You just looked so cute scowling at him. “Some other time” He grunted giving his cock a some more strokes before stopping “let’s try something new. Get on your hands and knees” he ordered.

Like the good girl that you were you arched your ass presenting it to him. He grabbed and groped at it before sliding into you, which was fairly easy considering how soaked you were. He rutted in you for a while you whined and thrashed.

“Daddy” You moaned.

He stilled his thrusts. His hands still holding onto your hips. Did you say what he think you said?

“What did you say?” He asked just to make sure he wasn’t imagining things.

You avoid him grinding onto his cock to distract him. He squeezed your hips, stopping your movements. Bending over he draped himself on your back. “What did you say?” He whispered in your hair.

“Daddy” You mumbled.

He kneeled back to his original position and carried on with his assault on your pussy. He spread your cheeks to get a good look at his cock sliding in and out of you. It was soaked in yours and his juices.

“Say it again” when you hesitated he gave a harsh slap to your asscheek. If you were going to call him daddy he had to act like one.

“Fuck daddy” You groaned “Spank me again” You begged.

He slapped your ass a couple more time before spreading them to look at the mesmerizing scene again.

“Oh god I’m going to come” You slithered and squirmed under him screaming profanities at him while he fucked you through your orgasm. Your hands and legs gave out. You dropped to your stomach trying hard to hold on for him

He felt himself tipping over the edge again. He bent down to hug you. He curled his hands under you one fondling your breast and the other stroking your stomach.

He always needed to be close to you when he filled you up. His thrusts because erratic, almost inhumane.

“I love you” he groaned as he came inside you, filling you up. He tried not to drop too much of his weight on you.

After a while he pulled out and covered you both with the comforter, spooning you.

“Hey you asleep?” he shifted a bit to get comfortable. With no answer from you “I meant it you know. I love you” he continued.

“I love you too” you murmured. It didn’t feel strange when the words rolled off of your tongue like you expected. It felt easy and safe. “You make me feel safe” You whispered shyly “And not just because you’re strong. But because you’re you...”

He smiled to himself. You made him feel safe as well. Safe to be himself and to not have to pretend. He kissed your hair feeling himself fall for you even harder.

[tmntgirlie]

Universe!Reader x Raphael

Raphael Confronts You After the Party

You remembered bits and pieces of what occurred at the party when you woke up the next morning. The last thing you remembered was your face getting hot after Raphael asked you a truth question, something about which one of them was your favorite.

First of all, that was a lot of pressure. Everybody was right there! You didn’t want to make anybody feel bad, to know they weren’t your favorite.

You vaguely remembered saying something about Raphael himself. Did you say he was your favorite? You thought you did.

And he was. After all, you had a thing for guys like him. Not turtles with red bandanas, per se, but big strong guys. Buff guys. Guys who were rough around the edges, but soft on the inside.

You remembered what Mikey had said once. That Raphael is like a teddy bear, if teddy bears were incredibly violent. That kind of spice, that kick.

Plus, just look at him! The guy oozed sex, whether he knew it or not.

Oh, God. Did you guys have sex?

You quickly looked around the room you woke up in.

No, this was your assigned room. You were alone. No Raphael or any other terrapin to be found.

You felt yourself breathe a sigh of relief. If there was even a chance of something between yourself and Raph, you didn’t want it to be based solely on the physical aspect. That wasn’t what you wanted. You deserved a connection, not just sex with a great looking guy.

Not that sex with a great looking guy was bad. It sounded incredibly not bad.

Were all those fanfictions right about him?

Would you even find out?

“Achem. Y/N?”

You jumped at the sudden new voice. You turned around quickly to see the exact person enveloping your thoughts. “Raph! Raphael, I mean- hey!”

He gave you an odd look before walking towards you. “Did you sleep well?”

Raphael was holding a tray. On it looked to be a small cup with some pills, two empty cups, and a steaming kettle of tea. “Donnie said you might need some medicine to help with the hangover.”

That was so thoughtful.

“Right,” you said. “Thank you. I hope I wasn’t too crazy last night.”

He laughed. “Crazy? Last night was alright. It was pretty fun. We’ve never had a party like that before.”

“I just thought it would be a nice gesture, since you guys took me in and all.”

You downed the pills, which you were told were Tylenol, and he poured you a cup of tea. They really did enjoy their tea.

“Do you remember everything from last night?” Raphael asked you slowly.

You paused. Was this a trick question? Did y’all do stuff last night that you might not remember? Your nether areas felt fine, so you figured you didn’t. You didn’t feel sore, but your body did feel like it could sleep all day.

“Last thing I remember was answering your truth question.” You chose your words extra carefully.

He clicked his tongue. “Do you remember what you said?”

“A little?” You gave him a small shrug.

Then it hit you.

What you said.

Oh, fuck. Did you really tell him you weren’t sure he would meet your expectations?

What an asshole response!

And you admitted that he had been your favorite?

There you went again with your face getting hot.

“I think you remember now,” Raphael said softly, though when you looked up, he was smiling. “Really tore through me, huh?”

“I really shouldn’t have said that, I just felt so on the spot-” you stammered. “Yeah, you were always the one I looked up and read about, but- that stuff’s kind of embarrassing to admit, you know? Especially in front of everybody.”

“You made me eat a lemon.”

You scoffed. “You would have made me do worse if I had chosen dare.”

He paused. “You’re probably right. But seriously, did you mean what you said last night? Did meeting me not meet your expectations?”

This was the most genuine you had ever heard him be. It stung that he might have believed those things you said. Why did you have to be such an ass?

“No,” you said firmly. “I just didn’t want to admit it. Again, it’s kind of embarrassing. It’s a dream come true to be here, but the expectations are everywhere.”

He listened intently as you explained your view on fanfiction in your universe. How everybody wrote everybody different- there’s a general personality each character has but when placed in situations that aren’t canon, you can’t really predict how each one would react.

“A lot of it is imagining how you guys would react in a relationship setting, which is hard because we never truly see you guys in those situations. One writer might think you act one way, one might think totally different. The general consensus with you is that you’re passionate, feisty, have a soft side for your significant other, and very ‘wears the pants in the relationship’.”

You were a little uncomfortable explaining this to him, but he had a right to know how he was portrayed. You just hoped this wouldn’t ruin his opinion of you or your chances of being together.

Raphael went silent for longer than you were comfortable with.

You sighed, leaning back against the wall you were sitting against. “Too much?”

Then he started laughing.

“You really are somethin’ else, Y/N.”

Was that it?

He just smiled and shook his head. “To think you’re imagining me in a relationship and I’m imagining you in red.”

“You- what?”

“C’mere already.”

Who were you to deny him?

[protectspock]

Picard In Review

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR PICARD SEASON ONE 

Okay, so having seen S1 of Picard twice now and with several additional months of reflection, I’m fairly certain of what worked, what didn’t work, and what I want to see in S2. 

Things That I Immediately Knew Were Great 

The characters working closely with Picard! Raffi, Rios, and Elnor are all so good, and each bring something special to the table

Giving Seven such amazing character growth that is both a dramatic departure from Voyager while also still making sense. Big hallelujah chorus moment here.

Addressing the Prime universe aftermath of the Romulan disaster set up in AOS. This has always felt unresolved to me, so I loved to see it. 

Bringing back HUGH and talking about ex-Bs. Such good worldbuilding :’) 

Soji and Dahj being androids without realizing and and slowly (in the case of Soji) finding out the truth was great. The mom AI that puts them to sleep? Stupendous. That scene where Soji is carbon dating all her stuff and panicking? Super good. 

The holograms. Look. I love holograms already, but whoever decided that there should be one for every task on the ship and that they should all be played by  Santiago Cabrera with a different personality and accent is a genius. I want to kiss every single Rios hologram on the cheek. And the fact that each hologram also holds a fragments of his trauma? A H  H ! 

The Qowat Milat: VERY cool. Good for the ST Universe, good for making romulans 3-dimensional, good for ME because I got to see ROMULAN WARRIOR NUNS. 

Riker and Troi. A beautiful, if sad landscape that I could escape into during the plot and action of S1. Many lovely moments with their little family. 

The humor! People really fixate on the gloominess of Picard, but it has so many funny moments. 

The hugs: IDK why there were SO MANY HUGS in Picard but I was so greatful for every single one. 

Things I knew immediately that I hated

Narek and Narissa. Annoying, gross, and the writing made me feel like I was supposed to sympathize with them or something? No. Just gross and annoying. 

The Costumes. With a few notable exceptions, everyone just had on the most boring basic-ass clothes imaginable. It’s the FUTURE Babey. Let me see a sequin.  Did they just blow their costume budget on “Stardust City Rag” or something? 

Killing off Dahj. :/ I get why they did it, but I would have liked to see some fun twin sister android moments on screen and we were robbed of that. 

Killing of Hugh. Why? Just why? Why bring back one of the most beloved guest stars, have Jonothan del Arco kick ass all over again, and then just let him die? We live in a post Joss Whedon and GOT universe. Society has progressed past the need to kill off a fan favorite for shock value. 

Things I grew to enjoy:

The “old man coming to terms with his trials and triumphs and fighting against defeatism” was good. Sir Patrick Stewart, I love you. 

Having a small ship working outside of starfleet is a cool change and a good set-up.

The locations, Freecloud in particular.

Things I grew to dislike:

Jurati. This is the fault of the writers, not Alison Pill, who’s super talented. Such a shame. They really just gave her a plot arc that makes me not want to look at her face anymore, yikes. 

Kind of related to the last one, but the relationship between Rios and Jurati? Not feeling it. 

The entire AI/Zhat Vash plot in general. (whoops). Like, it was so interesting to start with, but by the last two episodes I wasn’t really emotionally invested anymore.  

I would have thought that a planet of soong androids would have been cooler? 

What I want in Season 2

The end of Season 1 was a great jumping off place. We have a great little ensemble of rebels on a tiny little ship and they could go and do anything! So I hope to god they go and do things that are fun and interesting to watch! 

No more Narek <3 

Gently write out Jurati, or make her a guest instead of a regular. I feel bad for saying it, but I honestly just don’t want her taking away screentime from characters I actually like and am invested in. 

Don’t just make Seven/Raffi happen, make it happen in a way that feels real and interesting. 

Just more character development for our core group. Like I said, they’re my favorite part, so I don’t want to have to beg for scraps all season. Just give us a Raffi episode. Give us a Rios episode. Give us an Elnor episode. 

I want to know more about the holograms. Both the specific ones in the ship as well as hologram rights in the 25th century. Yes, this is a niche trekkie interest of mine, don’t @ me. 

Unbury Hugh (I can dream, okay?) 

[closeyoureyes-andimagine]

Holding On (Vinny Mauro Imagine, Request) *TW*

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions and details of suicidal thoughts/suicide/self harm

Thank you @j0eyj0rdis0n for the topic request <3

This short story explores opening up to Vinny about suicidal thoughts and tendencies for the first time. You spent your time knowing him trying to be cool and picture perfect, but you can’t bottle it up any longer. You just hope he understands and doesn’t run. His reaction opens your eyes to just how great he is.

I haven’t been feeling well. Mentally, I mean. I’ve been unsteady and confused and scared and angry and sad and low and high and all over the place. My world feels like it’s spinning off of its axis every second of every day. 

I’m trying my best to keep it together because, tonight, I have plans. Tonight is the first Motionless in White show after the Coronavirus lockdown, and it’s going to be huge. It’s in my hometown, and I promised Vinny I’d be there. I’ve been meaning to talk to him about how I’ve been feeling; he’s my go-to guy. I’m just afraid of being so vulnerable.

Vinny and I met online through Instagram. We started talking here and there, very casually, and eventually we talked enough to decide to meet each other in person; the friendship spiraling from there. We got quite close over the past few years. He’s an amazing guy, and it’s no secret I have feelings for him. I know he has them for me, too, but it’s tough being in a band and touring - relationships aren’t always the best option.

I haven’t seen him in a few weeks, so this show tonight is important for both of us. We’re both looking forward to meeting up again, and I’m looking forward to finally hearing some live music. Maybe it’ll help clear my head.

After practically dragging myself out of bed to shower and get dressed, I arrive at the venue. There is a line of screaming, partially masked fans down the street that wraps around, but one of the perks of sort-of-kind-of dating the drummer is: I don’t wait in lines.

I show my ID, sign in, and walk to side stage. I start feeling anxious. In typical Vinny fashion, he’s right where I need him exactly when I need him, and he’s walking towards me, arms wide open.

“I am so happy you made it out! I missed you!” Vinny says, picking me up in a tight embrace. It feels warm.

“I’m so happy to be here. I really needed to escape my mind for a bit. I’m happy to see you,” I shyly smile.

We catch up for a few minutes before the opener performs. We talk about what we want to do after the show; where we want to go. I told him I would really like to talk to him tonight. I said it’s serious. He looked concerned, and I felt horrible. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him something like that right before he performs his first show in a year, but he grabbed my shoulders and reassured me that, whatever it is, he is here for me.

Towards the end of the openers performance, Vinny has to leave to get ready to go on himself. 

The lights go dark. The crowd goes insane. The energy in the room is unbelievable and just what I needed, but I still can’t shake the feeling inside.

Simply put: I don’t want to be here anymore. No, not the show. The world. I have this overwhelming feeling of dread every waking and sleeping second and I want the pain to stop, even just for a little while. I have no friends. No family left. Just Vinny. I think of him when I swallow one too many pills. I think of him when I drink WAY past my limit. I think of him when I put the razor to my wrist and carve myself like the trunk of a tree. I cannot bear the thought of leaving him, but even worse, I cannot bear the thought of staying here with myself.

After the show and the inevitable fan photos and autographs, Vinny and I are finally alone. We head to a local bar that has a very relaxed, isolated outdoor vibe. He doesn’t drink, but he thought this would be a nice place to relax after a night of screaming music.

We talked about everything as if we haven’t seen each other in years. It’s only been a few weeks, but even one hour away from him feels like an eternity. Probably because he’s all I got.

There was a lull in the conversation while he sipped his soda and scanned the room. I start to quiver and tears filled my eyes. He noticed.

“Y/N, what’s going on? What happened?”

“Vinny, I-” My voice trails off while the tears pour like acid rain onto my cheeks.

“Please talk to me. I’m here,” he whispered while grabbing my hand. He noticed healing scars below his grip.

“Y/N...”

“I can’t hide it anymore. I’ve tried. I’ve tried to be the fun, perfect, fan-turned-friend-turned-possible-lover for you and I can’t. I can’t be that. I’m destroyed, Vinny. The world has fucked me time and time again and I can no longer hold onto it. But I can’t leave you. But I don’t want to be here. But I can’t choose a way to go. But no one cares if I go or not.”

I go completely numb. Vinny goes completely silent.

“And now,” I continue, “I’ve ruined your first show back, and killed the mood and killed our friendship by telling you I want nothing more than to kill myself. I think about it all the time. It’s consuming my brain. I can’t escape it.”

Vinny looks like he is searching the room for the right words to say. 

“Y/N, I don’t even know what to say to you right now to make you understand that you have more purpose than anyone I’ve ever known.”

Those words, “you have purpose”, coming from Vinny spun in the air like a falling snowflake. He continued.

“I’ve never felt this way so I cannot speak from experience. All I know is: everyone has someone, and you have me. You always have, and you always will. And if I have to spend every second with you reminding you of that, then, I will, gladly and proudly. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are beautiful, smart, nurturing, and just a general joy to be around. You make everyone you meet a better person. Do you know that?” He grabs my hands tighter, his voice starting to shake.

“I’m trying,” I whisper.

“I know you are. And that’s the hardest part of the job. But, look. You’re doing it. You are choosing every single day to get up and try. Do you know how many people don’t take that step? It’s hard. But you can do hard things. You do them every day and you become stronger and smarter because of them. Please don’t throw it all away.”

He leans back, pensively. Like he’s trying to think of more to say to fill the silence. But then he realizes, maybe silence is just what I need.

My head has been filled with a thousand voices. Somehow, some way, Vinny just spoke to them all simultaneously and silenced them in one, quick swoop.

After about 5 minutes of complete quiet, I speak up.

“I don’t know why you treat me so well. I don’t feel deserving, but I appreciate your role in my life more than you know. Thank you for seeing me. Truly, seeing me.”

About another hour passes. We leave the bar and head to my apartment. We make some snacks, watch some movies, and pass out on my bed.

When I wake up in the morning, I feel a desire to just... Be. Be whatever I want that day: sad, happy, lazy, irrational, curious... Which is a new development. I have a new sense of, just allow yourself to be yourself and experience those feelings and move on from them that I didn’t have before speaking to Vinny.

I look over at him; he’s still asleep, peacefully. I think about how just opening up to someone can truly change your point of view. Keeping things bottled up only allows them to explode. But, if you choose to pour out the contents first, you can teach things to develop and grow. They won’t be able to haunt you or deteriorate you any longer. Water them, and watch them bloom.

“Hey, early bird,” Vinny says while rolling over, still wrapped like a burrito in my comforter. 

“Want to tackle the day together?”

[forever-rogue]

THIS THE DUMBEST MF REQUEST U EVER HEARD BUT IM ON MY PERIOD AND I HAVE TO TAKE MEDS BC CHRONIC CRAMPS ANS ITS GIT SO MUCH MF CAFFIENE AND IM FUCKING TRIPPING RN AND FOR SOME DUMBASS REASON I NEED DIN X READER WHERE READER TAKES MEDS AND GOES BATSHIT CRAZY LITERALLY IM SHAKING SO MUCH WOEOWOW SORRY THIS IS ACTUALLY SOME TH IFN IM ASKING FOR YOURE GRET!!

Hi friend, I hope you’re okay now and feeling better! Din blurb? Din blurb. Enjoy! Thank you @rosetophighlander for providing some much needed inspo!

Mandalorian Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

When it came to your least favorite time of the month, you were normally able to handle it...for the most part. It’d been a routine that you’d been going through for what seemed like eons, but some months were worse than others. This was one of those times; not just one of those times, but also the first time you’d had this much pain around your Mandalorian companion.

The morning had gone fairly well, you’d made sure to stay hydrated and eaten a decent breakfast, along with your small green friend, but why the time the afternoon started, your insides were in utter turmoil. You thought you were doing a fairly good job of keeping a neutral face and hiding it. Until...

“What’s wrong?” Din’s gaze was trained on as you sat in the co-pilot’s seat, hand on your stomach and a contorted look on your face. So much for handling it well...but it was hard when it felt like your innards were being eaten.

“N-nothing,” you lied, biting the inside of your cheek as another wave of cramps rolled over you. You should have known better than to lie to him. He was a trained bounty hunter, years of practice had made it easy for him to read just about anyone.

“Why are you lying?” he asked and you just sigh and let your head flop to the side, letting out an exasperation groan.

“Period,” you finally said through gritted teeth as you pointedly avoided looking at him, “I’m on my period.”

“Oh,” he sounded almost nervous but just awkwardly cleared his throat. He wasn’t inept when it came to a woman’s body, but it had been some time since he’d experienced being with a woman during her time of the month. You just nodded and a waved a hand in his general direction, “is there...”

“No,” you said quietly, hoping that if you remained seated and still that the pain would dull and pass quickly. Din stood up after a few more moments of watching you silently struggled with the waves of pain, disappearing without a word. Maybe you’d scared him off?

But no - he was back within a few minutes, handing you a big glass of water, followed by a few pills that you didn’t recognize. You didn’t even bother to ask what they were, or what their origins were, but you quickly swallowed them and down the glass of water.

“That should help,” he said softly and you nodded, giving him a thankful smile, “maybe you should...take a nap.”

“I’m not tired though,” you insisted, knowing the tiredness that always accompanied this time of month could come later in the afternoon. It always did, like clockwork.

“You’ll...just trust me,” he insisted, nudging his head in the direction of the your shared sleeping space, “you’ll want to sleep. It might be...just take a nap.”

“Oh...kay,” you shrugged and decided to oblige him, slowly clambering out of spot and heading for your cot. You might have been going crazy...but did you already feel better? Din wasn’t normally so cryptic or weird, but you weren’t to question him. Besides, maybe a nap would be nice...

»»————-　♡　————-««

Once you’d slipped into your cot, it took only a few minutes until you gave into the soft pull of sleep. If you’d been awake, it would have surprised you, but instead you were quickly snoring...and loudly.

But then...almost as quickly as you feel asleep, you were wide awake again. Your eyes snapped open as you felt a rush of energy running through your veins...you felt more awake than you possibly ever had. But your pain was gone, instead you felt nothing but pure adrenaline pumping through your body.

“Din,” you almost shouted, as you jumped up and ran to find him. When you didn’t spot him anywhere on your floor, you climbed up the cockpit and found him there, playing with the Child, “Din!”

A small, quiet oh no spilled from his lips as you almost barreled him over in your attempt to sit down in your normal spot. He had hoped this wouldn’t happen, it was a risk he was taking...but alas. Your eyes were wide as you sat down and stared at him, speaking so fast that he wasn’t able to catch more than a word here and there. Part of him wondered if you were even speaking Basic anymore.

“andidon’tevenknowwhatyougavemebutifeelsoalive,” you jumped up again, peeking outside, studying the dying light of day. Maybe you could go out and explore for a awhile. Just as you started walking off again, Din grabbed your arm and keep you from walking away, “what?”

“I think you need to stay inside and sit with me,” he felt bad that you’d had such a reaction to the pills he gave you, but couldn’t deny that he was little amuse, “it’ll pass soon, but I need to keep an eye on you to make sure you don’t hurt yourself.”

“I’ll be fine,” you insisted, bouncing on your heels as he kept you restrained, “I just want to go and explore!”

“Cyare...no, just say with me please,” he insisted softly, “but are you...feeling better?”

“There’s no pain,” you promised, “I just feel so...alive! Have you ever heard colors before? I’m pretty sure I’m can hear them!”

“Kriff,” he sighed lightly to himself.

“What even was that stuff?!” you asked as you pulled free from his hold on you and started to dance around the open space, “I love it! I feel so alive!”

“Painkillers,” he admitted honestly, letting the Child down to try and get you in his arms again so you wouldn’t hurt anyone...namely yourself, “apparently much more potent for someone of your size.”

“We should get more of that stuff! We should go to the market and buy some,” you grabbed his hand and started to dance with him, finding it hard to get the large man to move along with you, “you should take some too! Maker, can you imagine how much we could if we don’t have to sleep and we just play?!”

“You can’t buy this stuff at the market,” in order to give you some reprieve, he gave in and danced with you, letting you guide him around the open space.

“Where then!? We have to go!”

“It’s not exactly...legal,” he confessed the last part quietly, but you were so hyper-aware of everything that you picked up on it. You shrugged it off regardless, “I probably shouldn’t have given it you. I should have known better...”

“No, this is great,” you insisted, stopping and put your hands on his shoulders, “I’ve never felt so...amazing! I feel like I can do anything!”

“Yeah...that’s one of the effects,” he cursed himself silently. He’d just wanted help you and alleviate your pain, instead he’d created a whole different type of problem, “cyare, why don’t you come with me and we can go lie down.”

“But I don’t wanna,” you pouted at him, but he just hung his head, “I just wanna go outside and be with you!”

The last part tugged on his heartstrings a little bit, and while he was glad you weren’t in pain, he didn’t mean to induce all of this either. At least this way you were enjoying yourself; the grin on your face hadn’t faltered once. He weighed his options for a moment before nodding lightly, “alright. We’ll go outside and explore for a little bit, but if and when you start to feel sleepy or anything else, you let me know, yes?”

“Duh,” you promised him, your eyes glowing with excitement as you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his helmet, where his cheek would be, “we’re gonna have so much fun!”

You leaned down and picked up the Child, carefully as you could in your current state, and Din stopped breathing for a moment. He knew you’d never do anything to hurt him, but in your haze, he was mildly concerned. But you were still so gentle with him, making sure he held tightly against your chest before descending the latter to go downstairs.

“Come on, slow poke!” you called to him as he listened to your footsteps running out of the ship. He sighed lightly, almost in amusement as he quickly followed after you.

He had a feeling you weren’t going to be the only exhausted by the time you were coming down from your high. At least he knew better for next time: half dose...or perhaps something more legal...either way, he vowed to make sure to take care of you.

[chayacat]

Devil’s Sweet Star (19)

Fandom: Dead by Daylight

Ghostface x Female Reader  

Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut  

***

Ahhh...Love. The most wonderful thing in the world for anyone. Being in love and loved by someone can make you grow wings... figuratively. Life seems more radiant, exciting, fun, enjoyable when you are in love. A bond is forged between you and the one you loved. This bond can become, at the end of each road, stronger or more fragile. This is what I will call: gold yarn and black yarn. The golden yarn represents a strong love, a love that has gone through all the trials and that has come out stronger and stronger. This yarn is unbreakable.

The black yarn on the other hand... Represents a broken love. A love that ends up cracking on all sides. A love in which arguments follow, which sometimes comes to the hands. A love that, despite the desperate attempts of one or the other, ends up broken permanently. And in the end, we separate, each one rebuilding his life. Sometimes you get there. But some can't stand it... and the consequences are irreversible.

But let's go back to the positive side! It is in a serene, cheerful mood that you got up this morning. After all, there's enough! You and Jed are dating now! last night was the best night of your life. Knowing that it’s reciprocal, and that, despite the arguments to come, he will support you when it’s necessary, makes you feel lighter, more soothed. It will all be very different compared to Alex... you promised yourself that.

You and Alex dated for two years. You’ve met him in high school, he was a little genius and a sportsman, while you were more linguistic and theatral. While the first year was pleasant and fulfilled, the second was a disaster. He cheated on you from the beginning with someone else, but he didn't want to tell you. The worst part is that for him, all this was normal, the other girl was prettier, more... generous in terms of her forms. While you were just a little girl in her eyes. It broke your heart and you kicked him in the ass.

“This is all he deserves for doing that to me. Bastard.” You said to yourself.

And you’re right. No one should play with feelings. No one. But Jed is different. You know that. He'll never let you down for another one. But... What if another woman tries to steal him from you? What if she used her charms to seduce him? And that it worked? You couldn't stand it; you couldn't bear the fact that you were still abandoned because of a hottie who only wants sex and nothing more.  

Don't start thinking about that! this is just the beginning of your relationship. You've got time. And knowing Jed, you think he won't be stupid enough to succumb to the charms of another.

“I’ll treat you like a queen. Do you prefer a boring life to that? Think carefully...He or I.”

The words of Ghostface came back to you. It's true that you like to have a life of risk. That you're willing to do crazy things. But you have your own business now. Maybe it's time to think about a more settled life. Quieter. And with Jed, you can't dream better. And then, Ghostface treating you like a queen? What a good joke. You imagine Ghostface bringing you a cup of tea... filled with sleeping pills. And once asleep.... he could do whatever he wants with you.

And then, if in the early days it would be "nice", Later it will be blows. insults. And in the end, he will force you to participate in his massacres. A life that would shame your parents if they were still alive. In a sense, and even if it's sad and mean to admit it, you're glad that your parents are no longer here, or that you don't live in the same city as your uncles and aunts. Who knows what Ghostface would have done? Kill them? Surely. To use them to blackmail you and never leave him? Also. And you don't even dare imagine if you had children with this lunatic. Explain to your child that his father is a murderer, but otherwise everything is fine. You're talking about a family life.

Today is your day off. Yes, technically you spent two days in the hospital because of a fool who had the good idea to attack you in broad daylight in front of everyone. Let's hope he enjoys his time in prison. So, in real life, you could have worked today. But you're not sure you'll have a lot of people. Melina isn't working today either. It's her day off. She sent you a message last night saying she would come by today to discuss it. So, she's going to hear the news from you. And knowing her she's going to bother that poor Jed, as soon as she gets back to work tomorrow.

“Melina is Melina. I don’t think that anybody can change her. But at least, it may be better that she is so. You never get bored with her. And then... I know that she will move away all those who want to separate us, knowing her temper.” you said to yourself, laughing.  

First thing to do...clean the apartment a bit. Because since you've been here and especially since your short stay in the hospital, you live with dust sheep. And if you personally don't care, to receive guests it's not very elegant. And after cleaning, a good shower is required. Then kitchen operation! Knowing that Melina will surely come to eat at your home, hurry to know how yesterday's evening went.  

You spend a good hour cleaning everything before you shower and you dress comfortably. That's when Melina knocked on the door. All excited she gave you a big hug, a little too tight for your liking. But she finally lets you go and both go into the living room. You serve her a glass of rosé, the only alcohol you have for the guests. While for you, a homemade orange juice is deserved.

“Then tell me! How did it go last night? How was he dressed? What did you eat?? Did you kiss? Are you together??” She asks, excited like a child waiting to receive his gift at Christmas.  

“Calm down, calm down. I'll tell you all about it. But stay quiet, you look like a little girl at Christmas or in an amusement park.” you respond laughing, seeing your friend's enthusiasm.

“Sorry! It's just that...when he told me that you have a dinner with him, I was so excited to know how it happened!”  

“Well... he was really cute. Very elegant, we had a good laugh. And we eaten very well. He had made everything from starter to dessert. And we explained and...”

“Aaaaaaand ?”

“We kissed. Twice. So, we can say that we are officially in a relationship.”

“I knew it, I knew it, i knew it! Oh (y/n) you don't know how happy I am for both of you! She answered so happy.

you can't help but laugh. She's really sweet. You both eat a small pasta salad, with surimi, piquillo's, and a little tuna followed by a strawberry pie. Melina had taken the cheese and bread; she was not the type to come to someone's house empty-handed. You talk about everything and nothing, laughing at jokes, innuendo and other stupid things like that. It was good for you. You needed it. Then the phone rang: Mr Parkson. There was a click in your head.

It's been a week. And you haven't even thought about inheritance. What are you going to tell him? To give you an extra week? impossible, he had told you: a week no more. He warned you that he'll be here in an hour to talk. Then he greeted you before hanging up and when Melina saw your face restless, her smile disappeared. No choice... you’re going to have to tell her, too.

“Somethings wrong?” she asks worried.

“It was Mr Parkson. He'll be here in an hour.”

“Your Banker? It must be important for him to come to your house.”

“Well...He’s not my banker.” you answered by going back to sit down.

You tell her everything in detail. The death of your parents, the fact that you are the only heiress, that you've pushed back, all this time, that fateful moment because you're still struggling to accept this... Melina had listened without saying anything, going from attention to emotion, very sad to know the reason why, you have family photos everywhere at home.

“Well...you lie. But that is clearly understandable. No one wants to tell that kind of thing. We would like to forget it or that it never happened. We always hope that it was a nightmare and that when we wake up, we see our loved ones or call them. But deep down... we know very well that it’s real. And so, this guy... is there to carry out their last will. But you're the only one? no other family member can touch it?” she said confused.

“No. I’m the only Heiress. But my uncles and aunts deserve their shares too. My parents bequeath their house to me, and the total of their life insurance. As well as a small pecul that they had set aside. And the jewels. But I don't want it. It would hurt me too much.” you respond sadly.

“I understand. But you should take it. And then give it to your uncles and aunts. Or ask him if he can do it. “

“Yeah...you’re right.”  

Melina changed the subject to make you smile, cheer you up. She's so adorable. She's the perfect best friend for you. And yet, you only know each other recently. After an hour, Mr. Parkson knocked on your door. You don't even wonder how he knew your address, he said it to you: when he has to find someone, he's looking for information. He greeted Melina and you explain to him that she knows about it and that so she can stay. He nodded and settled down to a chair coming out of his little briefcase the documents. you offered him a coffee which he accepted as well as a coffee for you and Melina.

“Right. I don't think I need to remind you why I'm here. I left you another week to think. Now I'm going to need an answer: yes, or no?” He said placing his glasses on his nose.  

“Yes. But I want to be clear: my uncles and aunts inherit on the one hand. Everything I want to keep from my parents... are their wedding rings. Plus, my mother's amethyst. Everything else, the house the money and everything else will go to my uncles and aunts. Do you understand that?”  

“...As you wish. But your parent’s life insurance goes obligatory to you. It will be paid into your bank account automatically. It will be up to you to withdraw the money and give it away or send it to your uncles and aunts if you wish. As for the rings... I've got them here.” He replied before taking out a small jewellery pouch where your parents' wedding rings and your mother's rings were.  

“I knew your parents well. They were great people and very good friends. They wanted you to give their wedding rings for your wedding day... and your mother absolutely wanted you to give her jewels. The amethysts is there, too. If you'd rather keep only this one and give the rest to your family, I will." He said a little smile on his face.

“Thanks a lot Mr... I appreciate it. Have... Have we found the murderer? Or at least, did we find clues to know his identity?” you ask.  

“Unfortunately, not miss. He vanished. And he may even be dead by now. I am afraid that unfortunately we never know the answer to this terrible question.” he responds.  

You sign the documents, to which he adds notes on your exchange, then got up, greeted you and Melina before leaving. He left you a copy of the documents and, as requested the desired rings. Then it was Melina's turn to leave after 2 hours of discussions to cheer you up. Again. She left you her phone number and you gave her yours, so you could communicate.  

You clean the table, do the dishes and sit on the couch, the rings on the coffee table. You take them gently in your hands, tears rising slightly in your eyes. From the beginning, they intended to give them to you on your wedding day... Day they will never attend now. the rest of the day was sullen. In the evening even more. All you wanted was for Jed to be there, to hug you right now. But the poor man already has a lot of work, it's better to let him rest for now.

He sent you a message to find out if everything was okay, and you answer him by lying so he wouldn't worry. The poor man replied that he had a lot of work to do between the two Ghostface murders, but with a little coffee, he was going to make it. He wished you good night hoping to see you again soon, and you did the same. You put your phone on the table before looking at the rings again, no longer holding back your tears. They hadn't done anything...

“Well, if I knew I would have brought a handkerchief. Unless you prefer a hug? I'm very good at comforting people you know... especially women.”

You look towards Ghostface which was leaning on the table making you this little hand sign so special of the character. he's the last person in the world you want to see right now.

“Are you really going to come to my house every night? You have no better thing to do like killing poor innocent people like the sick you are? Or am I doomed to support you for the rest of my life as you told me so well?” You said a little grumpy.

“But it's that we're a little cranky tonight... my poor darling, I sympathize with your sorrow.” he said, approaching you.

“You? have compassion??? You kill innocent people who have asked for nothing and you DARE to say that you have compassion for me???”

“hey calm down my angel. I’m maybe a psycho to you but I'm still a human. I know what it's like to lose those you love. Especially when they are killed without them being asked for anything. In those moments when you have the murderer in front of you, you want only one thing: to make him regret. But back to us. I see you've made your choice quickly. I wonder if he enjoyed your lips as much as I loved them. Definitely I think I would never understand women.”

“What does that have to do with you? I much prefer Jed than you!”

“Sweety; sweety, sweety... You don't realize how lucky you are. I keep you alive because I have a soft spot for you. I could have killed you, gutted you, dismembered you, made you the most beautiful of all my masterpieces.” He lay you down on the couch, blocking your arms and legs with all his weight, and through his mask, you can guess a demonic, unhealthy smile. He drew his face closer to yours, very close to your ear. “Compared to him, I can take you beyond the seventh heaven... You'd be happy every night.”

He freed one of his arms, holding yours with the remaining arm to raise his mask slightly at the level of the mouth. Then he lifted your t-shirt stripping you to the chest. Then he lowered his head to your belly button and threw a tongue at it. Little by little, he went up his tongue to your chest. He smiled as he felt your skin shivering at his touch, while you're holding out a single sound. With his free hand, he unbuttoned your jeans, just enough for his hand to attack your privacy. You bite your lips, holding you to moan at all costs. Don't give him what he wants. Or he'll benefit even more.

“Are you resisting? How cute. I like it even more. I don't like easy women. There is no pleasure.” He replied, pressing his finger against the sensitive point, causing you to startle a little.

He chuckled, passing his finger up and down on your intimacy, which eventually made you let go of a little moan. He continued for a few minutes before stopping and getting up, hiding the bottom of his face again, allowing you to get dressed. he recoiled, sneering, while you stare at him, ashamed and angry.

“I'm going to make you languish a little. That'll be your punishment. maybe it'll make you think. or maybe not. But in any case, I'm going to enjoy it. Remember that you belong to me.  On this... I wish you good night my sweet little star. Sweet dreams.”

Then he vanished like usual. you sighed, slightly annoyed by what had just happened. He's strong, very strong even. But at least you know he's lost people in his life. At least that is what he suggested. If that happens, it had nothing to do with him. But keep that in mind. That's a good clue. In the meantime, it's time for you to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day, and you need all the rest you need.

Sleep well...

Little one.  

***

(And that’s it! I'm not too far from being able to pass my code exam! but I confess that driving does not enchant me too XD but hey it's always like that at first, right? If you have any questions, feel free! Oh, one last thing! I wouldn't normally be present from April 6 to 8. So, the current chapter at that time will come out a little later than expected! this will also be the case on April 16, 17 and 18! I apologize in advance I would do my best to advance them as far as possible! Good weekend everyone! See ya!)

[mdotmaro]

Winging It.

Chapter 2

Author's Note: I am so ecstatic at the reviews you all have left. I appreciate every kind word and am only mildly afraid of constructive criticisms :). I am going to continue this story along with a vague idea of what happens next. Confession time: I see much of my own relationship with Casey and Derek. No, not step-siblings, just their connection. The club scene with the drunken dancing and then kissing… yeah, that actually happened to us. Extra fun fact is that I was his boss at the time :P ANYWAY! Onto the main event.

"So, the glory of the stage wasn't all that in the end?" Lizzy assumed as she carefully packed Casey's dishware into the appropriately labeled boxes. Marti was on bathroom duty, and Nora was working on linens while Casey was backing her clothes and shoes. Casey's announcement to leave New York and go back to school for business with a minor in dance was warmly welcomed. Nora admitted that she was selfishly glad that Casey would only be a few hours away by car instead of a plane ride away. Marti was more curious about what happened. The now ten-year-old went through Casey's bathroom with precision to see if there was any clue her step-sister was hiding.

"Did Jessie do something stupid?" Marti asked from her perch on the bathtub. Casey gave a short laugh.

"No, he didn't. Even if he did, it doesn't matter. We broke up months ago. He was just a summer romance." Casey said with a reassuring smile. Marti narrowed her eyes, not entirely convinced. Casey desperately wanted to change the subject, so she moved to Lizzie, who was tapping up the last kitchen box.

"So, speaking of summer romances. Have you heard from Oscar, Lizzie?" Casey asked abruptly; Lizzie slipped and cut off a much longer piece of tape than was needed. She glared at her older sister, who mouthed 'sorry' to the now blushing teen. Lizzie cleared her throat.

"Oscar lives in Parkhill, and we have a date over at the skatepark over there. He is going to teach me to skateboard." Lizzie said and quickly picked up the box and scurried off downstairs to the car. Marti came out of the bathroom with her box and a confused expression.

"But Lizzie already knows how to skateboard. She taught Edwin and me," Marti said, and Nora giggled and took Marti in a light hug.

"Yes, but Oscar doesn't know that," Nora said with a smile, and Marti shrugged, still not understanding but not invested enough to keep asking. Casey, Nora, and Marti went downstairs for the last time and finished packing the moving truck. Casey would fly back with the girls, and after a weekend at home, she would go to Queens to start the Summer semester.

Normally Casey loved falling asleep on long flights, but her heart was beating too fast for her to relax. Derek had left New York from his short trip to see Casey two weeks ago, and they were still 'Winging it,' so to speak. They talked nearly every night, more or less the usual banter and teasing, but there was something else there. It was impossible to tell how the family would react to the eldest step-siblings 'winging it,' so they had both agreed not to say anything until they were sure. Casey was relieved she could convince Nora and George that she could live by herself in a dorm instead of in an apartment with Derek. They were afraid of her being alone, but she quickly reminded them that she had lived alone in another country for six months and did just fine.

Besides, the idea of them living together so soon after they...they kissed. Casey absentmindedly touched her lips in the memory of those hot at heavy sessions at the club and in her room. She unconsciously clenched her thighs together. They didn't move past the over clothing caresses and kissing. Casey had tried having sex with Jessie, and by tried, she means tried to go for longer than a few seconds because it was just too painful. Jessie wouldn't pressure her to go any further than she was willing, but coincidentally after the third time they tried having sex with no success, Jessie came over to say things were not working out.

Casey had been relieved, but now what? Derek, Casey imagined, had a lucrative sex life in university, and now that they were... whatever they were. How could she tell him that sex was so painful for her?

"Casey. Your cuticles are bleeding." Lizzie said, snapping Casey out of her intense thoughts. She had been peeling the excess skin at her cuticle, and sure enough, little garnet bubbles of blood had appeared around her nails. Casey quickly wrapped her especially mutilated middle finger in a napkin and applied pressure.

"What's wrong?" Lizzie asked and then peered over to the aisle across from them where Marti and Nora seemed to be sound asleep. "It's just me. You can tell me, and then it could make up for totally throwing me under the bus earlier." Lizzie teased and poked at Casey's side. Casey gave her little sister a guilty smile.

"Sorry again about that," Casey sighed and contemplated telling Lizzie everything. Her little sister was extremely mature for her age, but she adored Derek like a blood brother, and Casey knew that this would be jarring even if Lizzie acted supportively. Casey decided on half-truths.

"I am nervous about having sex," Casey whispered, and Lizzie furrowed her brows.

"But you and Jessie never?" Lizzie asked, and Casey let out a heavy sigh.

"We tried, but it was just too painful," Casey admitted, and then Lizzie shook her head.

"From what I have researched, sex is not supposed to hurt. You are not really even supposed to bleed because of your 'broken hymen.' If it hurts that much, he is doing it wrong." Lizzie explained, and Casey couldn't help but smile at her sister. Of course, she researched sex. A quick flush of panic ran through Casey, and she looked at her baby, 14-year-old sister. Had she already had sex? Lizzie laughed at her expression.

"Relax, I haven't had sex yet. Not really interested yet, but I have plenty of condoms when I am ready, and I will make sure I have mom or George take me to get the pill. Casey stared at Lizzie, quite impressed.

"Have you told Nora and George about your well-calculated plan? And where did you get condoms?" Casey was trying to keep her volume down not to alert the other plane passengers. Lizzie shrugged.

"George kept having to leave the conversation to go outside and get some air, but mom was glad I am being responsible, and I got the condoms from Edwin," Lizzie explained. Casey had a brief moment to imagine sweet George trying to compose himself at the idea of his stepdaughter having sex. Casey was sure that he would need therapy after Marti hit puberty.

"And where did Edwin get condoms?" Casey asked incredulously and then realized at the same that Lizzie said

"Derek," they both said in unison. Maybe it was naive, but Casey, the thought of her little siblings being open to the idea of having sex made her queasy. Casey's finger stopped bleeding, and she tucked the bloody napkin into her now empty bag of pretzels.

"Don't worry, things will happen naturally, and now if you want to bail, you can use Derek as an excuse," Lizzie tried to reassure. Unfortunately, her timing was awful, and Casey choked on her water that she had been drinking. Lizzie smacked her back hard, and a few curious passengers turned to check on the commotion. Casey finally regained the ability to breathe and nervously laughed at Lizzie.

"And what would Derek do?" She asked, trying not to sound shrill. Lizzie smiled at her sister.

"Oh well, he can play the role of overly protective brother," Lizzie said but then tilted her head in thought. "I mean, he wouldn't do it for free" She laughed. Casey gave Lizzie a small smile and let out a deep breath, and continued to look out the window. Maybe she was getting ahead of herself. She and Derek hadn't even been on an official date yet. Sure they had gone to eat in the city and run around central park and even went to an amusement park but had those counted as dates? I mean, they held hands through the corn maze, but Derek insisted it was because he didn't feel like chasing after her when she inevitably got lost.

Casey smiled at the memories. Something else that made her chest flutter was waking up next to Derek. She missed being held while she fell asleep, but it's not like they could do that right away at university. There were rules. Weren't there?

Edwin had just passed his driver's license and was glad to volunteer to pick them up at the airport. He had seemed to have grown several centimeters in the six months Casey had been away and now was slightly taller than her.

"Edwin, look at you!" Casey said as she attacked him in a bear hug. Edwin grinned and twirled so she could see his new and improved preppy wardrobe too. His jeans seemed uncomfortably tight, and his polo was maybe a bit snug, but his face was losing its baby softness, and he had a ghost of a mustache on his upper lip.

"I know, your little brother Edwino is all grown up and looking cool," He said, and Casey couldn't help pinching his cheek.

"Aww, you are so cute." She said, and he shrugged off her pinching.

"Casey, cute isn't cool. I am a man now." Edwin protested. Marti laughed as she passed her brother.

"Really, you're a man now. Why didn't we get the memo." She snickered, and Lizzie laughed as she went into the backseat to join Marti. Nora squeezed Edwin's shoulder reassuringly.

"Aw, don't listen to them, Edwin. We know you are a man, and speaking of which, we can start talking about when you can pay for your car insurance," Nora said, and Edwin gulped. Casey road in the back with the girls and Nora road shotgun. They were all talking animatedly, talking about school, Simon, and generally anything in the neighborhood. Casey was excited to see Emily. They had coordinated to see each other the next evening. Casey was hoping to talk to Emily about her and Derek, just to be able to talk to someone for advice. Emily and Derek broke up a week after graduation; things just seemed a bit forced. After having a crush on someone for so long, it was hard not to be crushed by the heavy expectation of a perfect ending. Emily actually was discovering a newer side of her sexuality and actually had a steady girlfriend, Ruby.

The house came into view, and before she could get swept up in the nostalgia, her heart dropped to her toes at the sight of the prince in the driveway.

"Wait. Why is Derek here? He isn't supposed to pick me up until Sunday?" Casey asked in a loud and almost shrill voice. Nora sighed.

"He was able to come down for the weekend. Isn't this great, Casey? The whole family gets to spend time together before you both go off to University. So, try to be civil, please." Nora pleased, and Casey sighed and nodded to her mother. George came out with a crying Simon. Casey had been right on her assumption that he had doubled in size. Poor George looked exhausted but smiled at his eldest step-daughter warmly nonetheless.

"Casey, it's great to see you," He said, and Casey hugged him and reached for Simon. The baby was pink-cheeked and bundled in a light green onesie. Casey started cooing at little Simon and rocking him lightly.

"Careful, he just projectile vomited on Derek," George warned after he kissed Nora. Casey chuckled.

"Knowing Derek, he probably deserved it," Casey said with the same cooing voice. She was surprised at how quickly the jeer came to her. Old habits, she guessed.

"Well, he is taking a shower now, so you'll have some time to get settled before you two go at each other's throats," George said and took her dance bag from her shoulder. Casey thanked him and went to sit on the couch.

"Oh hey, Casey, I hope you don't mind. We had to do a little room rearrangement with both you and Derek gone. We moved Edwin into Derek's room and Simon into his old room, and yours into a guest bedroom, so If you don't mind sharing the space with Derek's things. While you're here." Nora said and then clarified after seeing Casey's wide eyes. "Just his things; he will be taking the couch at night." Casey might have a nervous breakdown before the end of the weekend.

Simon started reaching out his tiny pale fists towards Nora, who happily collected her baby. Lizzie dragged Casey up to show her how she redecorated her room, and such was the process for the other two Venturi children. Casey retreated into her old room, now a guest bedroom, and exhaled against the door. She assessed the room. Gone were her ballet trophies and academic achievement awards. Now there was a pale yellow walled, neutral sandalwood furnished and fluffy white carpeted room. Derek's battered duffle bag was on the cream-covered bed. Casey swallowed thickly and thought back to her conversation on the plane with Lizzie. Derek had given condoms to Edwin. Did he pack any for this weekend? Was he expecting something to happen in their parents' home? She had only just begun to unzip the bag when a voice came up behind her.

"Snooping, Case?" Casey shuddered at Derek's warm breath on the back of her neck. Casey jumped and reflexively swung a pillow at Derek.

"Der-rek, you scared me." She shouted and then took an extra step back when she realized that he was shirtless and slightly damp from the shower. Derek had always been lean, but there was a new indent of muscles, especially at the v of his hips from piling more hours at the rink in university, and Casey forced her eyes to stay now lower than his collar bones.

"Yeah, but you were still snooping. What's up Casey, you seem a bit flushed?" He said with a level of sarcastic concern; he couldn't keep the mischief out of his dark eyes. Casey kept her chin held high.

"I just wanted to make sure you didn't bring anything inappropriate that the kids could find, like how you gave Edwin condoms. He is fifteen, Derek," She said hotly. Derek caught on to her real question.

"Well, he's at that age where it's better to be safe than sorry, and though he is not as in with the ladies as I was, it's part of being a big brother," He said and took another step towards her. Casey was already leaning against the nightstand. There was no. Further, she could retreat to. "But don't worry, I wasn't expecting anything this weekend," He reassured and then smirked. "And in our parents' home no less, for shame, Macdonald." He teased and cupped her chin once she let out a relieved exhale.

"Oh, shut up. I just wanted to make sure you didn't have any ill intentions." She said but leaned into his touch nonetheless. She quickly glanced at the door. Thankfully she had thought to lock it. Derek followed her gaze, and with the minor level of privacy, he leaned down and kissed her pouty lips. Casey sank into the kiss; his wet curls brushed her forehead and ran her cool fingers down the side of his face. Derek's hands roamed up and down her sides, occasionally dropping to squeeze her outer thighs. The feeling made Casey release a shuddering gasp. Derek moved both hands to her face and kissed her firmly before breaking away.

"Think you can hold off with just that for now, Case?" He asked, a bit breathless. Casey looked up into his eyes and saw the restraint he was using, so she offered a small smile and let the tips of her fingers whisper down his torso and then stop at his jeans' waistband. Derek bit back a grunt.

"Sure thing, Der," Casey said and turned to head downstairs. When she didn't hear his footsteps trailing her, she saw him with his back facing her and his hands resting on his hips. "You coming?" She asked

"Mhmm, Just give me a minute," He said, and Casey bit back her giggle. Derek let out a breath.

"Oh, don't worry, Princess. I'll pay you back."

Next day

"I'm sorry, run that by me again. You and Derek?" Emily asked for the third time. They were at Smelly Nelly's, and Casey was picking at her salad.

"Sorta. It's just something that happened all of a sudden when he came down to New York. Now I just keep getting all flustered around him and even the thought of him." Casey explained and then gave up on her salad altogether with a groan and holding her head in her hands. "Pathetic, huh."

"Well..." In a high-pitched voice, Emily caused Casey's head to look up and give her best friend a desperate look.

"Emily! I am in a delicate state right now." She complained, and Emily giggled at her friend's antics. Same old Casey.

"Casey, I am your best friend, and so it is my solemn sworn duty to inform you that this is not all of a sudden," Emily indicated with outstretched hands. "You two have had this intense chemistry that you both were too stubborn and thankfully young to understand. I had my suspicions, but I didn't want to jump the gun before you told me and inadvertently caused you to blow it out of proportion." Emily explained and then took a sip of her mint tea. Casey was in open-mouthed shock.

"I don't blow things out of proportion." Casey protested. Emily pursed her lips into a knowing smile. Casey waved it off.

"I mean, this is wrong, right? He is my stepbrother; we've known each other since we were fifteen," Casey whispered. Emily sighed.

"It's not conventional, that's for sure, but as you said, you were fifteen when you met. You didn't necessarily grow up together like Edwin, Lizzie, and Marti have. Have you guys talked about it?" Emily asked. Casey nodded.

"We have; since we don't really know where this will lead, we didn't want to get everyone at home involved, especially the kids," Casey explained, and Emily nodded in agreement and then reached out to hold Casey's hand.

"Casey MacDonald, you are stuck in your very own version of 'Clueless.'" She teased; Casey couldn't help but laugh at that. She conjured up her best Cher impression.

"As if! Derek wishes he were Pual Rudd."

The weekend hadn't been such agony to get through as Casey had predicted. Thankfully with so many people in the house, it was easy to slip a gaze or two, and hand grazes without being noticed. All things carried on well until Sunday breakfast.

"Okay, Derek, now that Casey is going to school with you, be sure to look after her," George said before shoveling down some eggs. Derek was across from Casey at the table and gave a nonchalant shrug.

"I'm pretty sure Casey can take care of herself." He said through a mouthful of bacon.

"For once, you're right, Derek," Casey said with as much bite she could muster. "I will be fine, George, and I didn't need Derek to save me in New York. I don't need him to save me in Queens." She said proudly and continued to eat her avocado toast.

"I didn't know you went to see Casey in New York, Derek," George said, and Casey almost choked. Derek gave Casey a leveled look that read, 'Way to go, Space Case.'

"I take it back; Casey needs all the help she can get. She called whining about everyone being so mean to her, so I took pity and flew in." Derek said a nudged Edwin. "The theater girls were hoooot," and the brothers shared a chuckle. Lizzie made a disgusted sound, and Casey tried to keep the burning blush from rising from her chest.

"I should have let them rip you apart." She snapped. Derek rolled his eyes.

"Please, unlike you. I can handle a few catty girls." He said, and Casey chucked an apple at his head, he easily ducked, but Marti wasn't so lucky.

"Oww, Casey!" She shouted.

"Oh, I am so sorry, Marti." She said, and her stepsister grumbled by something along the lines of 'quit flirting.' Only Derek was close enough to hear, and he froze.

"What was that, Smarti?" He said, and she looked up at her brother, and her dark blue eyes said that she knew far more than they were letting on. Derek frowned at her; when did Marti start rebelling against Derek? Mari batted her lashes at him and smiled.

"Oh nothing, Smirk. I am just going to miss you and Casey when you go away." She said and threw her arms around Derek's neck and whispered so low that only he could hear. "I know."

[caitlinsfandomthoughts]

Watching Star Trek TOS For the First Time! Season 1 Reaction

I’ve been a TNG, DS9 and Voyager fan for maybe 10 years but had never watched TOS until I decided that I would. And then I realised I couldn’t live with the possibility of the internet not being able to know my incoherent rambling reactions if it so desired. Most of these were written the day after I saw them but with the early ones it was later so sorry if I don’t remember your favourite.

Season 1:

The Cage: Be still my beating heart why must number 1 leave the show? Why?! Imagine a world in which Majel Barrett got to continue to be her in the Star Trek universe instead of Lwuxana (sorry I don’t love her) and Nurse Chapel. She’s so beautiful I love her. And she gets to where pants and be the second in command. While the episode for sure has sexist moments it does seem like there was more of an actual effort to present to future as having gender equality. When you compare this to the ultra mini skirted version of the actual show, it does feel like executives went through it to make it more marketable. It’s been noted by others that she is quite similar to what Spock’s character became: the cold, logical one, while Spock smiles in this episode. While I ended up loving Spock I still would’ve loved to see a woman in that kind of role, especially in the 60s. Although I’m not sure she would’ve been treated that well.

So Vina can’t like, get medical treatment from Starfleet doctors who know how to put a human body together? No? We’re just gonna leave her there? She’s too ugly? She’s better off living in a fantasy world where she’s pretty? Ok then…

The Man Trap: I don’t even really remember this one so I’d have to rewatch it.

Charlie X: Charlie sees women and becomes an incel, Kirk has to try and teach him not to be. This is a decent goal that somehow culminates in a space boxing match. Kirk loses his shirt. Sexual tension is presumably resolved. Uhura sings.

Where No Man Has Gone Before: The pants are back. Man becomes some kind of god and Kirk beats him up if I remember correctly.

The Naked Time: This is where The Naked Now comes from. This one was less sexual, which is probably a good thing, and less drunk, which is too bad cause I love drunk Crusher and Picard trying to focus on work while their brains won’t brain. Highly relatable mood. This one is where the immortal line “sorry, neither” comes from, spoken by Uhura in response to Sulu calling her a “fair maiden.” According to the internet that was an ad lib and I so hope that’s true cause it’s amazing. Also according to Spock Sulu is a “swashbuckler at heart” which is cool and all but I wish we got to find that out by him actually being a character that we know the personality of rather than a background diversity guy who gets to say a couple of lines sometimes. Also each to their own but shirtless Sulu is infinitely more attractive than shirtless Kirk.

The Enemy Within: Bad. Women at Warp podcast said it best, it’s bad because they say the evil Kirk is still Kirk and is needed for him to be a good captain/person. This could’ve been ok if he didn’t do something so irredeemable, or they could’ve not had him be defined as a true and necessary part of Kirk, but you can’t have both and sell it as an ok message. Rand not being able to look at ‘good’ Kirk after really makes it feel real, her acting in general makes it feel too real.

Mudd’s Women: Women take beauty pills that make them have makeup on and men find them too ugly to marry without them even though they are still beautiful. Also said women were kinda slaves but don’t worry about it! *hand waves*

What Are Little Girls Made Off: I don’t know what the title has to do with the episode. This is the episode where Nurse Chapel is introduced even though she was in a previous episode. And she’s taken more seriously than I thought she would be. Kirk gets an android version of himself made by a guy who he already doesn’t trust and doesn’t predict that maybe that’s not a good idea. Apparently to make an android all you need to do is put one person and one dummy on a giant plate and spin them around real fast. If only the guy who wanted to take apart Data in Measure of a Man knew.

Miri: Problematic. I think the crush angle could’ve worked if it was one sided, but Kirk played into it and it was creepy, and you know, also manipulative, assuming Kirk doesn’t actually feel the same way and is using it to get her to help them. That’s my more charitable interpretation anyway. Also McCoy doesn’t know how vaccines work. Also this episode doesn’t know what puberty is, or rather when it starts. If the virus is supposed to get to you then, that starts round the preteen age. Miri is older than that even though she’s not an adult.

Dagger of the Mind: This was the first one where I was starting to quite like it and it was feeling a little more like Star Trek to me (I know this is the first Star Trek but there’s a certain way 80s/90s era Star Trek feels to me). I really liked the beginning where it was setting up this whole maybe prisoners become violent because of how the prison treats them thing and that it was challenging the viewpoints of some of the main characters, although McCoy was already team prisons are bad and I love him for that. It then went more into the lobotomising asylum type story which was still ok. The guy turned out to be a doctor rather than a prisoner which I didn’t like cause I wanted the prisoners to be humanised. Although you could’ve done a “see anyone, even ‘innocent’ non criminals can be turned violent with this treatment” but they didn’t really emphasise that.

The Corbomite Maneuver: I don’t remember this. Kirk playing poker with some alien I think. Edit: I’m been informed this is the one where the alien turns out to be a lollypop guild kid lip-syncing to an adult’s voice, which I do remember, and probably thought it was some kind of sleep-deprived fever dream.

The Menagerie Part 1 & 2:  I laughed so much when they wheeled Pike out and I finally got the Futurama reference in Where No Fan Has Gone Before. I mean I obviously knew the whole thing was a Star Trek Reference, but I had never seen that specific imagery before and now the joke makes sense! Also Pike wanting to go back there seems kinda wrong. I mean they say he’s a vegetable mentally I think but he doesn’t seem to be? I can kinda get that he’s got more incentive to be there than Vina who could probably be helped by Federation doctors but also, he hated that place and spent the whole episode trying to get out of it and it doesn’t feel like a fitting ending for him.

The Conscious of the King: And here begins Star Trek’s love affair with Shakespeare. The only thing I have to say really is, if I didn’t mishear something… a father and daughter played Macbeth and Lady Macbeth? A married couple. And no-one thought that was weird? She was the daughter of a dictator though so there was an Ivanka Trump vibe.

Balance of Terror: Romulans. Spock wasn’t sure that they were related to Vulcans till this ep, though he suspected it. How far back did they split for it to be unknown? I like that the Romulans were sympathetic and we had scenes with them just in their ship from their perspective, and they had some conflicting views with each other. And I really like how Spock was suspected as a spy cause racism and of course he wasn’t and saved that guy cause he’s the better person. That said I found this episode pretty boring and I don’t know why. I kinda wish it turned into a witchhunt situation and was more about the racism on the Enterprise, kinda like The Drumhead from TNG.

Shore leave: Wtf was this episode?! And I don’t ask that because the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland showed up, or that it was a random holodeck planet episode, that’s fine. When the White Rabbit appeared I was just like, ok it’s going to be one of those episodes, that’s fine. Holodeck episodes are fun, I don’t even mind a random magic alien or two appearing for no reason to wreak havoc, say by making everyone larp as Robin Hood, that’s all Star Trek, that’s Star Trek doing a Star Trek, what I didn’t like is this episode goes nowhere! McCoy sees the White Rabbit, we’re off to a good start, Sulu “Swashbuckler at Heart” sees an old gun that he geeks out on, cool. Kirk sees some woman of course. Also there’s some guy fending off a tiger. Random female guest star of the week rather than letting Uhura be part of the story gets her uniform torn by some guy. Then she imagines a princess dress and if that were me as soon as I realised I could think things into existence I would just imagine all my dream clothes. Kirk imagines an old student friend who is attempting very hard to be Irish (thank you Colm Meany for saving us from this).

Anyway so the planets a holodeck cool. And I’m like, Spock should beam down, I wanna know what he’ll see, this is where the episode could get interesting. And then it happens, but nothing happens, they don’t even make much of a deal of him not seeing anything. But then I thought what if! What if Spock didn’t beam down and this was another imagination?! What if he was some alien with some ulterior motive OR better than that we get to see Spock as imagined by whoever was thinking of him. You could go down a very fanfic road if it were Kirk’s imagined or desired view of him, or maybe you could show different people’s perceptions and then they still suspect he’s not acting like himself even though it’s how they see him, but its not quite right, cause it’s not actually how he is. Or at least I thought they were going to find out what was going on. But NOPE none of that happens. Instead leprechaun guy shows up again and Kirk just wonders off to fight him for the next fucking millennium! The uniforms they wore at the academy seem like they were made out of better quality material than that of a Starfleet captain’s. Poor Kirk must be having to replicate new uniforms every other day. Then they laugh I think, and sexual tension is presumably resolved. Then the aliens show up and are like yeah this planet is a holodeck we thought you’d like it also McCoy died but he didn’t and I’m like THEY DIDN’T CONSENT TO THIS. But then they decide to party.

It reminded me of a Red Dwarf episode called Better Than Life where they knowingly go into a virtual reality game which is basically the same as this planet. But over time Rimmer keeps sabotaging what he imagines cause he hates himself so much his brain won’t let him have nice things. And it’s still a comedy, but there’s an opportunity for exploring the character’s psyche with this setup that wasn’t done here and that made it boring.

The Galileo Seven: This episode was good!! In contrast to the last one it delivered on promises it made, it had a satisfying ending, it’s probably my favourite so far. The whole time I was like this should be about how Spock can be wrong and logic isn’t everything to be a good commander. But given the quality of the previous episodes wasn’t that great and Spock was always right about everything I didn’t trust them to do that. BUT I WAS WRONG. I thought it would be about how just because you don’t have emotions doesn’t mean you can disregard those of the crew. But instead it was about how he couldn’t predict their enemy wouldn’t act based on emotion rather than logic. And then he admitted he was wrong and helped the guy bury the other guy, and then they were about to die and McCoy was like at least I’ve lived to hear Spock say he fucked up. And then Spock jettisoned the fuel so that it might act like a flare but it gave them less time and I was like no you’ve learned nothing! Don’t just do things that severe without asking your crew. But then after they were saved it was described as an act of desperation rather than anything logical and Kirk was like that’s an emotion isn’t it? You acted on emotion? And Spock was like well yes but I’m not gonna say it like that.

I like that emotion was good actually. I think it’s a fine balance between the message of its ok to be different and using Spock as an analogy for racism, and inadvertently neurodiversity, but also not buying into the idea that emotions = weakness and lack of emotion, or emotional repression = objectivity. Even if you don’t factor emotion into your decisions (which would be impossible unless you don’t experience emotions at all) it doesn’t mean that you don’t have personal biases in your perspective. So I’m glad Spock was wrong for once.

The Squire of Gothos: This is Q this is Proto-Q. He does all the same things that Q does; he shows up in clothes that are way out of date (and he thinks they’re from 900 years ago when they’re clearly early 19th century) and he flirts with the captain. Oh and he has powers, maybe they were computer powers, but not all? And he goes on about humans being brutal, warmongering people but he’s kinda into it. He fights Kirk but there was actual tension so it wasn’t annoying like the one with the Irish guy. And then it turns out he was just a kid exactly like the Futurama episode, except he is a kid not 35. I think him being a kid makes the flirting seem weird though.

Arena: Kirk and the Gorn at Tanagra. Kirk fights a lizard because aliens wanted to encourage them to not fight by telling them to fight. I thought maybe these lizards could be proto Cardassians but then I thought they can’t be they don’t talk, but then he spoke so I thought they could be, but then he was the one who was invaded and was only defending his people so I thought they couldn’t be, unless that was actually just lies and justifications in which case they definitely would be, but then that would undermine the message of the episode so I guess not. I wonder how many leaders have killed each other before these alien’s negotiation tactic actually worked.

Tomorrow is Yesterday: This was fun. There were a lot of twists and turns. I wonder if it was before or after the moonlanding. Every plan just makes it worse and more and more people keep getting exposed to the future. Kirk could’ve easily just closed the door and beamed back at the end but instead opts to punch like six people. (I think this is where “a woman?” “Crewman.” Comes from).

Court Martial: What if Kirk actually did it though? Would that be more interesting? Maybe. At least here he has an age appropriate love interest. She’s prosecuting against him which is surely a conflict of interest. AND she has a uniform with a longer skirt! And it actually looks good, like it looks like an actual dress that she can sit down in and it still looks like a dress and not a crumpled up shirt. It’s elegant but it’s still short. I could see this being an option (for any gender) as a dress uniform but it would still make no sense when they’re serving on a ship.

Return of the Archons: I am LIVING for Spock in a medieval style hood. It’s giving me Peter Cook in a Mother Superior’s wimple in Bedazzled vibe, it’s not quite on that level of beauty, but it’s close. For some reason Sulu returned from the planet in 18th century gear but then everyone else is dressed like it’s the 19th century, with some medieval robes thrown in, and this annoys me more than it should. Maybe it’s because he’s a swashbuckler at heart. Apparently they had a completely peaceful society except for the nightly purge they seemed to have going on that is never mentioned again.

Space Seed: KHHANN! I liked this a lot until the end. I want to know the lore behind Data’s Dad having his middle and last name. Edit: Actually only the middle name is the same and the last name is just similar. I still think there’s lore there (excuse the pun), probably he’s a descendent of his cult followers or something. The story seemed to be eugenics bad and also the type of guy to basically be a eugenics cult leader would be super manipulative and abusive but just charming enough in a relationship. It does a pretty good job of showing the abuse in his relationship with the historian woman, how he switches between being loving and I guess charming, and flattering to being abusive and degrading. I wish that the historian woman could find someone that she can explore domination and submission with consensually cause that seems like it would be what she really wants. Anyway but in the end they just let him go? Like he tried to take over the ship but they were like here have a colony. They compared the place to Australia when the colonists arrived at Botany Bay and that it could be... I forget what the word was but basically ‘civilised’ and No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO STOP RIGHT THERE NO Australia was already populated and didn’t need eugenicist cult leaders who were demonstrably bad to show up make it ‘better.’ AND THEN the historian is given the choice to go with them and she does and its framed like it’s good? Or at least ok? When they just did a pretty decent job of showing how abusive and manipulative he was and she had redeemed herself by turning against him? So I get that they probably wanted to bring him back although they’re probably not gonna bring her back, but they could’ve easily had him escape instead.

A Taste of Armageddon: Suicide machines. I forget the rest.

This Side of Paradise: SEX POLLEN! Well it’s more fall in love pollen, I guess, for one character. There’s a woman and there’s the music and the soft focus and BUT WAIT then the camera cuts to Spock not Kirk! Because she has taste. It’s about this point that I think the ‘Spock’s the most popular but Shatner wants to remain the star so we’ll emphasise their character’s relationship thus inadvertently inventing slash fic’ might’ve started. It’s time for a love triangle! She makes Spock get the sex pollen, which is not getting consent, and then he falls in love with her and is climbing trees and is all happy. Kirk can’t get a text back from Spock. Then Kirk and two others get the pollen except Kirk didn’t, but he did, but anyway I thought everyone would be horny but they weren’t they were just brainwashed. Soon Kirk is all alone on the bridge, then he gets the pollen and is happy to live as a poly triad but then he gets angry and it’s gone. Then he calls Spock to the ship and approaches the situation in the only way Kirk knows how: Homoerotic punching! So they fight for not long enough and then Spock is cured but he’s a little sad, there’s sadness in his voice, it’s not quite so matter of fact. Then Spock’s gf gets sad and the sex pollen is gone too, Spock might still have feelings for her but he has responsibilities to the ship and “to that man on the bridge” which if he was saying to just mean once again the whole ship, and its mission and the captain in a professional sense, seems a little redundant, which would surely be illogical.

The colonists get sad that they haven’t done anything for years because the sex pollen made them unambitious but I would argue maybe the sex pollen was right and you were better off just vibing. This episode was more interesting and less silly than I thought the creator of sex pollen would be. At the end Spock says that for the first time in his life he was happy. While every other character could still easily become addicted to a thing like that they could at least know they would experience happiness or any feelings again in their life, for Spock it was going back to nothingness.

Devil in the Dark: Spock calls Kirk Jim which I don’t think he has before, when he’s talking over the communicator and he’s worried he’s in danger, there’s some actual fear or urgency in his voice. Also the moment that got me was when Kirk wanted to send Spock back the ship cause he didn’t trust him to kill the creature and Spock was like “but… I’m not really as useful there I am here… so…” If I was writing it I would’ve played that up more but anyway, I like that they didn’t kill the creature. I like that McCoy said the thing. And also said “I’m starting to think I can cure a rainy day.” He’s my favourite.

Errand of Mercy: It’s kinda becoming the Kirk Spock show now, I like the ship but I miss McCoy. I like that the passive pacifists who Kirk was so angry with were actually more powerful. And KLINGONS! Oh yeah the orientalism, the yellow peril, it’s… it’s there all right. They were played a lot colder here, a little Cardassian maybe, still bloodthirsty but I don’t believe this guy has to do it himself to feel honourable, he can kill for sure but he’s fine ordering someone else to do it and being a chessmaster too.

The Alternative Factor: God this one was boring. But it does have a man with the worst beard wig I’ve ever seen. Now he’s stuck fighting the bad version of himself or something to save the universe. So remember that when you’re watching later Trek series, all of this could suddenly be destroyed if one of them gets tired.

The City on the Edge of Forever: UHURA GETS TO GO ON AN AWAY MISSION! Aaaand she doesn’t get to do anything :/ The usual three go back in time! To the 60s again! Oh wait… that’s meant to be the 30s? Oh. That’s some tall hair that lady has for the 30s. But at least said lady is a character, she’s a little perfect but she does things, she has strong beliefs, she might be written a little idealised, but she is still written like a person compared to almost every other Kirk love interest. “He says it (captain) even when he doesn’t say it” is an interesting line. So she has to die, I still think they could’ve just convinced her that you don’t make friends with fascists but ok. They never say what the Clark Gable movie is.

Operation Annihilate! Kirk’s brother dies, and so does his sister in law, leaving his nephew without parents. This is never resolved and the episode ends with them laughing about how Spock got his eyesight back.