#ga meta

[everythingsinred]

Natsume is a Leftie

I am BACK with another important research post.

At the end of the day, I am a scholar and an academic and I must go out of my way to closely research and study in my field (Natsume). Today it is time, after gathering my evidence, to establish my thesis on Natsume being a leftie.

(I gathered evidence in the background of gathering evidence for ANOTHER post about Natsume being a cat, so this isn't exhaustive, just strongly suggestive. Except that I'm right. So.)

Alright we'll start with a caveat! Higuchi Tachibana is a human being and makes many mistakes while drawing (draws buttons on wrong side sometimes, drew Natsume wearing the elementary uniform when he was supposed to be wearing the middle school uniform, drew Ruka in the girl uniform, etc.) so there ARE times when Natsume is using his right hand to do things he should be using his left hand for OR that other characters who are usually right-handed are seen using their left hand.

Take this image, simultaneously an example of Natsume being a leftie but also depicting Ruka, who (as far as I can tell from other evidence) is right-handed, as left-handed too. There are inconsistencies! But I am basing this off of the overwhelming amount of evidence the manga provides.

And! While I did focus on Natsume's handedness for this post, I did periodically check other characters' eating and writing and alice use (if applicable, since not everyone's alice works like Natsume) and the above image of Ruka feels like an exception rather than a rule. Most people are righthanded and most of the characters seem righthanded.

Mikan is a rightie and Chapter 27 is full of her writing with her right hand. You can see her eating with her right hand in other chapters and primarily using her right hand in other scenes throughout the manga.

We see most characters here eating with their right hands with the exception of Natsume and Mikan, who have their hands down and aren't eating. Hotaru handles weaponry primarily with her right hand and eats with her right hand. She also uses wrenches and other tools with her right hand. Koko and Iinchou and Permy all seem like righties from what I can tell.

Dainty Ruka-pyon uses his right hand to eat! It's kinda hard to track with him, honestly. There's not a lot of instances of him writing or eating, so who's to say. He might very well be right-handed as evidenced by this evidence with his fork (and there's another one on the same page) or maybe he's left-handed as evidenced by the above writing picture with Natsume. He's usually holding an animal (typically Usagi), so it's hard to tell sometimes if he's using a certain hand because it's his dominant or because it's the hand that's not busy holding an animal. Maybe he's ambidextrous! Who knows!

Anyway! About Natsume...

Let's begin with what exactly handedness is. Wikipedia says it's "an individual's preferential use of one hand, known as the dominant hand, due to it being stronger, faster or more dextrous" with the other hand usually being less so. Thus, for complex actions that require precision and control will be carried out with the dominant hand. You'll defer to your dominant side most times and it tends to be subconscious. So for both absent movements and precision-requiring movements, you will probably default to your dominant hand. Our muscle memory and precision is usually significantly more developed in our dominant hand. Handedness is usually determined by observing the hand people use to write or eat with. This post will also feature heavily that Natsume predominantly uses his left hand to use his alice.

10% of the population is left-handed and most of society was built to cater to right-handed individuals. In Japan in particular, children are sometimes still forced to write with their right hand because of the way writing kanji works. Previously, throughout history, people have assumed that left-handedness was a sign of the devil. People have also historically correlated left-handedness with mental illness and have encouraged forcing leftie children to use their right hand (though this practice often resulted in children having self-esteem issues and speech impediments, which probably means the lefties have higher rates of mental illness because of how they've been treated rather than some innate issue).

Thus pages like this, where he's using his right hand to use the water fountain, are because they are designed for right-handed people, thus are not evidence that he's not left-handed, if that makes sense.

Alright here's the evidence for him being a leftie!

This is my most consistent evidence. Most people with alices don't have a manifested thing to keep in their hands like Natsume does to showcase this, really, so he's kinda unique in this way, but most of the time that I've been able to notice, he's primarily using his left hand to summon his fire. This is pretty consistent until we get to later chapters when his battles are much grander and he summons much larger flames that surround him rather than manifesting in one hand or the other.

I mean. This is pretty solid evidence that he's a leftie. Medusa here points out that he's specifically targeted Natsume's left hand because he caught on to the fact that Natsume has been using that hand to use his alice for most of the battle. He can use his right hand, as we see in other moments, and even on the next page of this scene, but I think his left hand is his dominant hand and thus the one he feels most comfortable using.

He even uses his left hand to make an alice stone! If you were crafting something with love and care, you'd probably use your dominant hand, right? (Or, rather... left.... hehe :P)

Honestly if this was a couple one-off times regarding his alice use, I wouldn't make anything of it, but it's so consistent, it must mean something.

But! I have more evidence than just alice use, although I think that's pretty significant.

We'll start with my weaker and more desperate evidence...

He tends to reach out with the left hand. I've noticed a slight tendency for him to turn on his left side (like in the above example with the water fountain as well as this scene with Ruka), or to lean on the left side, which is not necessarily proof but just padding for my study.

The center image in particular seems so telling to me. After the ground closes up, Natsume instantly collects himself and even seems embarrassed by how much emotion he showed, which signals that this moment was knee-jerk fear to help Mikan. He reaches out with his left hand because it's the familiar hand and it's an instinctive move.

This is the same reasoning as above. Natsume grabs this kid and gets him out of the way of danger and thus his left hand is stuck to the kid for an hour, so we consistently see him with his left hand out of commission. I think, because this was a knee-jerk and instinctive move, he reached out with the left hand again to save the kid from being crushed.

These are stretches, but humor me! The shape of the fingers suggests that's his left hand, and I either hold a book with two hands or with my dominant. It feels a little weird to hold it with my non-dominant. The next one is him feeding the animals with his left hand despite the animals being on his right. Subconsciously, people move to favor their dominant side to make things easier.

Alright, on to stronger stuff. According to the internet, what hand you use to write is pretty indicative of your handedness. We have the image with Ruka above, where we can see him writing with his left hand.

This scene is very important to me! Technically, Natsume does end up writing the answer on the chalkboard with fire using his right pointer finger, but that's because he'd already picked up the chalk with his left to write with and only drops it when he's moving past the area. He's a lazy boy too, so...

Using violence, LMAO. He hits with his left hand and... I don't know if y'all have ever thrown a punch or slapped someone, but... I mean, in my experience you prefer your dominant hand.

For such precision-oriented actions as these examples above, you'd likely use your left-hand. He does use his right hand in Chapter 9 playing dodgeball (but it's the one time he's shown actively throwing it, so IDK. Could be a fluke or a mistake.), but I'm inclined to ignore that. I don't really toss things with my non-dominant hand the way Natsume does with the cockroach, so that's probably the hand he's more comfortable with. The second image is him after he threw a ball at Tono's head, and, for max aim ability, one would use their dominant hand for that. The last one.... First, he's so cool. I've never been able to do that, dominant hand or no (I'm bad at sports), but it was always a bit easier on my right hand (dominant) than otherwise, so I think that's proof too.

Moving on...

People use their dominant hand to use eating utensils, as we saw above with other characters. These are multiple examples from across the manga where Natsume uses his left hand to use a fork or chopsticks. I will concede that in the last image where Natsume is eating a New Year's meal with chopsticks, many other characters are using their left hands despite me knowing they're right-handed, namely Hotaru. That being said, the other evidence here makes me think Natsume's left-handedness is intentional.

And here it is, my biggest proof:

(Ruka is a rightie here, and no animal in sight, so maybe this is his natural way of being... Then again, he could always be ambidextrous, like I said, though that is exceptionally rare. Then again, Ruka is exceptional, so <3)

Here, Higuchi Tachibana would have had to go out of her way to draw Natsume eating with a different hand than Aoi or Ruka. This evidence to me is SO LOUD. Not only does this further cement that Natsume is a leftie and not all other characters are, but also that it's not an accident or even a headcanon. This is proof that it was intentional on Higuchi Tachibana's part to draw him left-handed! I've always been obsessed with this page, so I was bound to catch this eventually. Yet another reason to love this panel lol.

I have stuff I couldn't fit in here because even with a 30 image limit I am tempted to go overboard, but this should be sufficient. Natsume is a leftie!

Did y'all know lefties tend to excel more in sports? They also tend to be better fighters (as we can see in the violence examples above) because they move from an unexpected side. The fact that the world is designed to favor right-handedness means lefties have an unforeseen advantage in sports and fighting because they move from a side righties don't anticipate as naturally.

But many tools, computer equipment, and even instruments are designed for easier right-handed use, which can be inconvenient or even dangerous for lefties. Thus, I didn't know how a sax would work regarding handedness (and also Natsume sucks at playing it anyway) which is why I didn't even really check out those chapters.

Anyway, handedness doesn't really affect many things in a meaningful way despite some propaganda or vague correlations saying otherwise and lefties face an often-overlooked series of disadvantages, which is why I think Natsume being a leftie is interesting, because his life is hard enough already. Oh well.

Anyway, I hope y'all enjoyed reading this rambling! Natsume being left-handed is something I will not let go of. I will DIE on this hill, especially because it's pretty clearly intentional.

[onii-onahole]

Overkill (Bita)

[borbology]

The saga of Meta Knight getting high on dental anesthesia, aka Yabui gets what he deserves

(bonus)

[57sfinest]

kim is such a funny little guy like he emphasizes how little the rcm salary is when you ask about it (5500 reál annually- 460/mo) but here he is with his nice electronic sports watch and his little instant camera and his fancy revolutionary cosplay for plainclothes and he's living in the GRIH which can't be cheap and he's got his fancy little mnemotechnique notebooks which are like the moleskine of elysium i guess and his fancy little ballpoints that he does NOT want to share with you which i bet is because they cost him like a week of salary. and this is the rcm he's not getting stipends for supplies or watches or housing or probably even the gas for the kineema. poor as fuck but he is going to buy himself his little treats god damn it. if he lived in our world you know he'd be out getting himself a $9 vanilla soy milk half caf dirty chai iced latte every morning on the way to the station and eating instant noodles every night to claw out room in the budget for it

[avelera]

I feel like Sandman Dream’s spooky gimp helmet (which he needs for… personal reasons) would be less of a weird note in the story if other Endless or even other eldritch creatures in Sandman also had spooky headgear?

Like I can so easily picture a super cool sequence where all the Endless have crazy spooky helmets so when they appear for the family dinner they’re like Egyptian gods with their animal heads before they return to their more human form.

But they don’t.

No one else has a spooky mask they wear in Sandman. No one else is like, “Oh wait, I need to be at full power for this, let me get my spooky mask, trust me, it’s actually a tool for me and totally not a sex thing/security blanket.”

It’s just Dream with his little helmet, acting as if it’s a totally normal thing to have. Y’know. Like a total weirdo.

[nelkcats]

Bad Omens

When Danny woke up late and missed two of his classes he knew it was going to be a bad day. The feeling only grew as he tripped over stairs and broke windows by accident. He wondered if Johnny was around or he was just unlucky.

It turned out that no, neither Shadow nor Kitty or Johnny were in the realm of the living. When he went to visit them in the Infinite Realms he heard them whispering about...Spectra? The bad feeling that had been increasing with the passing of the hours only grew.

Luckily the ghosts seemed quite communicative and revealed the psychologist's plans: Spectra had planned to attack a place called "Gotham" where her ex-husband, a certain Jonathan Crane, lived (the halfa still didn't know how she managed to get married in the first place).

From the looks of it they had never been divorced, but Spectra was in the process of filing the paperwork before her death, which was saying a lot. He asked Johnny and Kitty where she was, when they pointed to a glowing natural portal, Danny groaned.

Resigned to a disastrous weekend, the halfa headed to Gotham. Johnny and Kitty followed him curiously, they seemed to be trying to tell him about "scary gas" or something similar, the halfa didn't quite understand. His goal was only one thing: Protect Jonathan, the poor husband of the spiteful ghost (and avoid the furries, that were probably Spectra sidekicks or something).

If only he knew that Crane wasn't as innocent as he seemed.

[twig-tea]

Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto/Love is Better the Second Time Around is giving me everything I want in a BL with adult leads. Mutual pining, extensive flirting, excessive rizz, annoyance at the rizz, jealous exes, bitchy comedy ("please stop posing" was screamingly funny), makeouts, trying to convince themselves that they can out-think their feelings, and based on the preview for next week, potentially having sex before they've sorted out or acknowledged their feelings?; I can't wait.

[gayofthefae]

Still not over how Mike and El only got a ONE scene and a few SHOTS without Will stealing it, more often than not by being sad, and it was this

Everything but 4x03 was about Will. They have a compilation on Netflix's YouTube up from season 4 and even THAT has an entire section dedicated to Will.

Airport kiss? Awkward hug with Will.

Roller rink? Will correcting El for lying and overall "moping and rolling his eyes" (he even stole the scene for Mike)

Arguably, it's even influential that their fight takes place as a result of Mike leaving WILL at the breakfast table, and it's SHOT TO REFLECT THAT.

Reunion? Will reunites with El too, standing between their reunion in the camera even. (And Mike looks at him weird while he gets up)

Pizza scene? *Almost* but actually let's cut to what Will's doing: oh, he's watching them sadly.

"I love you"? Will urges Mike on and it cuts to a shot of him being sad as Mike says that admitting your feelings hurts.

[odessa-castle]

I'm bouncing around a larger post about Nishiki and the mortifying ordeal of being known, but in the meantime I'm thinking about Nishiki and Kiryu and how the clothes make (or don't make) the man. Like, beyond my visceral horror that Kiryu begged Nishiki to pick out a safe and boring suit for him in Y0 and then said he was envisioning something purple with gold stripes.

I'm thinking about Nishiki's incredible sensitivity to image and his need to control how he's perceived. I'm thinking about Kiryu's inability to let go of the past. I'm thinking about how KIryu dresses like who he thinks he is, and Nishiki dresses like who he thinks he wants to be.

There's some interesting incidental dialogue between Nishiki and Kiryu in Y0 while they're en route to the men's suit store. I wish it wasn't so easy to miss, because there's a lot to unpack here. (I'm just transcribing the English in-game subtitles here; I don't speak Japanese so I have no idea how loose vs. direct the localization is in this part.)

NISHIKI: …now that I think about it, you've been dressing like an old man since we were kids. KIRYU: Have I? NISHIKI: Yeah. The few times we got to pick our clothes, it was always like, "you're choosing THAT?" NISHIKI: I wouldn't say you're a plain guy…You'd pick shirts with weird prints though. KIRYU: Guess I forgot all that. It's weirder to me that you haven't. NISHIKI: Well, confession time. You're why I started caring about fashion. I swore I'd never go out dressed like you. KIRYU: Come on, I'm not THAT bad. [we have already discussed why kiryu is, in fact, that bad.] NISHIKI: [laughing] Aww, did I hurt your feelings? NISHIKI: Well, this time you've got me with you. I'll see my bro gets taken care of. KIRYU: Heh. What an honor. NISHIKI: Leave it to me.

Nishiki doesn't bring up Sunflower Orphanage much; when he does share memories of his childhood, those memories are kind of painful (see: "do orphans not get to dream?"). Kiryu's surprised that Nishiki remembers how they dressed as kids, but it makes sense that wearing a limited selection of hand-me-downs stuck with Nishiki so strongly. His clothes announced his poverty, and they weren't even his -- he had to share them with the other orphans, so what he wore showed he belonged to yet another stigmatized group. And I'm sure people picked up on those visual signals, especially other kids. Kids can be vicious, and appearance is an easy and immediate target! We don't know for sure how young Nishiki interacted with his peers and teachers, but given what the Morning Glory kids go through in Y3 (and given, like, everything about Nishiki), he probably didn't have a great time.

Kiryu frames his childhood as poor but loving, and places much more emphasis on the latter. There might be some rose-colored glasses at work there -- let's look at the flashback where Kazama tries (and fails) to violently dissuade Kiryu and Nishiki from joining the yakuza.

KIRYU: I owe you everything, but this isn’t about that. [...] We’ve looked up to you for all this time. Your car. Your confidence… The way everybody bows to you. We idolized you. I want that life, too. Is that so wrong!?

Nishiki doesn't really speak in this flashback, but like, Kiryu uses "we" enough for us to draw some obvious conclusions about Nishiki's own motivations. That being said, I don't think Kiryu's being dishonest or disingenuous when he describes his childhood as happy, and himself as well-loved. He's not ashamed of his upbringing, and he doesn't hide where he came from. Nishiki seems to have the inverse view. It's not that he doesn't love (at least some of) the people he grew up with, but what comes up first for him is what he didn't have. He didn't have money. He didn't have respect. He didn't have a cure for his little sister. He didn't have a lot of choice, right down to the clothes he wore.

(There's a whole other essay here about why Kiryu's and Nishiki's perspectives diverge on this, but I'm trying to limit the scope of this post. Suffice to say that, while I don't think game canon gives a timeline, I do think Nishiki was a little older when his parents were killed -- old enough that he actually remembers them, at least.)

The same mindset fuels Nishiki's interest in fashion. Yeah, part of it is that he's ribbing Kiryu, but I think it goes deeper than Kiryu wearing ugly shirts. Nishiki doesn't want people to look at him and see what's missing. Fashion isn't a means of personal expression for him, really. It's a message. It's the interplay of knowledge and resources and presentation: knowing what clothes read as successful and trendy and expensive, being able to afford those things, and convincing people that your successful important outfit makes you a successful important person. And he's not wrong about the social dimensions of fashion.

NISHIKI: Try sporting a suit that runs 500 grand for once. Trust me, you’ll see the world in a whole new light. KIRYU: Fashion’s not my thing. Besides, Kazama-san never wore flashy clothes. NISHIKI: You do realize he’s the family captain, right? Number two in the whole Dojima operation? You get to that level, you can wear whatever you damn well please. But for the rest of us, “flashy” is part of the business. KIRYU: So that fancy new car you bought was just “business”. NISHIKI: Yeah, and that fancy lighter of mine, too. Which you still haven’t given back. KIRYU: You want to play the rich guy, quit being so stingy. NISHIKI: But you get what I’m saying, right? People see the expensive car, the designer jacket, and the gleam of that little Dojima pin, they pay attention. A yakuza’s only as good as his image. [...] Take your buddy today. These squeaky-clean idiots, borrowing money just to blow on tits and booze… Nobody in this town gives a crap about substance. What you see is what you get.

That's our first take on one of the major themes of the game: what does it mean to be yakuza? Again, there is truth to what Nishiki's saying here, particularly in terms of the ethos of the eighties. I'm not an expert on the bubble era, but the worldbuilding in the game speaks for itself. People hail taxis with 10,000-yen bills. You punch money out of punks during random street battles. Nishiki keeps a personal bottle of high-end booze at a bar he's visited twice, mostly because he "can’t stand being taken for a bum." The act of spending is important, not what you're spending it on.

Nishiki's outfit in Y0 is perfectly suited (heh) to that outlook. And look, I might be inviting controversy here, but in context, I think it's a werq. Yes, it's loud. But the silhouette -- squared shoulders, single breasted, thinner peaked lapel -- is right on trend for the time period, and it fits him well. The colors look good on him. The bold pattern (no, it's not animal print) under the solid maroon is a risk, but he pulls it off. And excess aside, he knows when to pull back on the accessories. It's bright and confident and memorable, and boy would Nishiki like to be all of those things.

Also -- and importantly -- Kiryu would never go out dressed like that. Because we can't talk about Nishiki and Kiryu without talking about Nishiki's Mt. Fuji-sized inferiority complex. Mastering image doesn't just make Nishiki stand out; it makes him stand out from Kiryu. Let's go back to the beginning of the game.

NISHIKI: I’ll admit, though, you’re finally starting to look the part. You make a pretty convincing yakuza. You’re done with collections today, right? KIRYU: Yeah. NISHIKI: Good. That should put Kazama-san’s mind at ease a bit. KIRYU: Heh, dunno about that. But he always knew all I could do is fight. You’re the one who’s good at the dance.

Nishiki then calls attention to the "rags" that Kiryu's wearing, which...is not an unfair assessment. (TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT, KIRYU. HEM YOUR PANTS.) As the two of them walk around Kamurocho, Nishiki offers Kiryu plenty of hot tips, from meeting girls to making big bucks to cozying up to the brass. But even when Nishiki's opining on his area of expertise, there's a competitive edge to it. "You asking me to pick out clothes for you means you admit you have terrible taste," he tells Kiryu on the way to the suit shop. Kiryu tells him to shut up, but there's no actual hurt behind it. Kiryu doesn't really care that his taste in clothes sucks. Fashion isn't important to him. Most of the things Nishiki knows so much about don't really matter to Kiryu. And that makes Nishiki feel more insecure! Because if Kiryu rolls out of bed looking like a yakuza, if Nishiki's image counseling sessions aren't helpful or meaningful, if Kiryu can skip the dance and get to the top on the strength of his fists and convictions, then who cares about Nishiki's 500 grand suit or his hourlong hair care routine? If image isn't what makes a yakuza, what does that make Nishiki?

At the end of Chapter 6, Nishiki tries to look out for Kiryu again -- this time, by granting him a merciful death before the Dojima Family drags him to the Hole. It's one of my favorite scenes in the game. Nishiki's crying too hard to aim the gun properly; Kiryu tells him to man up and shoot. Finally, Nishiki collapses.

NISHIKI: Can’t do it… How could I shoot you!? Without you, I’ll always be nothing. Can’t make it as a yakuza… No. I wouldn’t even still be alive now if I didn’t have you beside me! I’m just… If you’re not with me, I’m useless! Nothing means anything!

Mastering image hasn't granted Nishiki anything of substance. At the end of the day, Nishiki's playing dress-up, and he knows it.

And I'm almost certainly getting into overthinking-this territory now (if I haven't gotten there already), but I kind of like the spin this puts on Nishiki ripping his expensive suit off in Chapter 14 when he decides to fight the Dojima Family at Kiryu's side. Like yes, ripping off your outer layers to get at the naked (so to speak) truth -- your irezumi, and what it represents -- is just Yakuza Storytelling 101. It's decisive, it's kind of dumb, it's great, it gets me hyped every time. But I like that Nishiki's honest answer to "what does it mean to be a yakuza?" isn't about looking the part. I am genuinely trying not to end this paragraph by saying that Nishiki must become like a dragon, but like...you get where I'm going with this.

Of course, Nishiki's back to playing dress-up in Y1/Kiwami. I'm not the first to call the Patriarch Nishikiyama look a glow-down (though I like the patterned white tie). Like, fashion-conscious Nishiki would look good in a Hedi Slimane/Tom Ford-esque skinny black suit. But he picks a silhouette you'd expect to see on a much older man, torso-swallowing pants and all. The slicked-back hair doesn't help. He's just so transparently trying to look bigger and broader and older, and he doesn't pull it off. Big Bad Patriarch isn't a good look for him, in any sense of the phrase.

A final thought: Kiryu's clothes, and Nishiki's commentary on them, are the subject of their first conversation in Y0 -- and of their last. Kiryu's costume progression in Y0 is a pretty obvious commentary on his journey, to the point where Kiryu and Nishiki explicitly call attention to the color connotations in their final exchange. As a Dojima grunt, he wears black, and it doesn't look good on him because "brutish thug who keeps his head down and does what he's told" isn't a role he's comfortable with. He wears white when he works in real estate, but the change in color isn't enough to sell anyone on his transformation into a civilian. Although it's a little rich for Oda "Red Clown Shoes" Jun to chide someone for not wearing a proper suit. At the end of the game, Kiryu's in his classic grey suit, and well, the game spells it out:

KIRYU: I’m not feeling black or white these days. This is where I’m at right now. I chose it myself. I’m making it a fresh start. NISHIKI: Fine, fine. See if I care! Wear it the rest of your life!

Nishiki, dismayed, tells Kiryu that the grey suit already looks dated, but for Kiryu, "fresh start" doesn't mean "on trend". His image might be out of step with how other yakuza view themselves, or want to be seen, but if he's always going to look like a yakuza, he might as well stake his claim on what being a yakuza means. Still, it's telling that, even as a young man, Kiryu looks like a throwback to an earlier era. As the series progresses, the games hammer this home more and more. How many antagonists tell Kiryu that he's out of touch with the modern world, that he represents a version of the yakuza that no longer exists, that it's time for him to make way for the next generation?

"Wear it the rest of your life!" is a funny little in-joke, yeah, but...it's a little sad when you think about it, isn't it? Kiryu gets new outfits from Y3 on -- and in every game, he ultimately puts the suit back on and heads to Kamurocho. It's exactly of a piece with how Kiryu views being yakuza. We, and he, can debate the exact extent of his retirement from the Tojo Clan's affairs, but the yakuza isn't a career for Kiryu, it's a set of beliefs he carries with him. He wears the suit the same way he wears the dragon on his back: as an indelible part of his self-image.

[baixueagain]

It seems backwards in Y0 for Majima to respond "I used to be" when Makoto asks him if he's handsome, right?

I mean, look at the 21 y/o gremlin who dresses like shit vs the 24 y/o suave, sultry manager of the Grand Cabaret in his three piece suit:

But when Majima responds "I used to be [handsome]" in that scene, what he's actually saying is "I used to be happy."

The year of torture followed by two years of indentured servitude has robbed him of his ability to construct his own self-image, to determine his own behaviour, clothing, choices, occupation. Yes, he's damn good at what he does, and he looks fantastic doing it, but he is being puppeteered and that alone makes him fucking miserable.

So while he looks objectively better in 1988 than he did in 1985, he doesn't feel like it, because he hates his life. We see here how deeply Majima links his self-perception to his sense of self-determination.

And this doesn't even go into how the year of torture and the trauma of having his eye gouged out must have fucked with his self-esteem and self-image. Having your face deliberately disfigured is enough to destroy many people's self-esteem on its own, but this was followed by a year of torture and (judging from his hair length) no way to groom himself.

It makes all the more sense that when he's finally freed from his punishment, he deliberately dresses even more outlandishly than before. It's guaranteeing that he and only he can control how others perceive him and, by extension, how he perceives himself. It's a layer of protection to guard a self-image that has been disrupted by immense trauma.

[chirpsythismorning]

My hottest take of all time is that Mike is (was) the main character of Stranger Things.

Now, do I think he still is? No. Not really.

TBH I would argue that ALL the OG's are main characters in their own way at this point, with them all getting somewhat similar amounts of screen-time across the board by s4.

But if we're talking about the first two seasons, Finn was indeed credited before both Millie and Noah. The only actors that were credited before him were Winona and David (respectfully).

Just rewatching s1-2, you can see very clearly that Mike is being framed as the main character, with his perspective being favored in big group sequences, with us following him places that we don't really follow others, and for longer periods of time.

What I find interesting, is that even though Noah revealed recently that the Duffer's have been slowly building up/hinting at Will's feelings for Mike since the beginning, it's Mike whose perspective we were usually seeing in all those moments.

In s1, we see Mike looking for Will, with Noah only having like a handful of scenes that entire season. We also get more of a focus on Mike's reactions in comparison to the other party members.

In s2, we see Mike making every effort to support Will all season. It's Mike whose reaching out to Will constantly, calling to see why he's not at school, going by his house, sleeping over for days and staying by his bedside at Hawkins lab. Although Will arguably plays a bigger role in the upside down aspect of the show this season, a large portion of Mike and Will moments focused on Mike's feelings for Will being shared through Mike's POV, and not so much the other way around.

It isn't until s3 that Millie starts being credited before Finn (and respectfully so, as she was arguably bringing in more hype in terms of fandom excitement back in those days, so I do get it). And so we're arguably going from Mike centric (s1), to Will centric (s2), to El centric (s3).

As a result, we also started seeing less of Mike's POV. Though, to be fair there are 10+ new characters joining every season, so EVERYONE is getting less screen-time, every season.

But isn't it so convenient, that when we start getting less insight into Mike's POV, he starts acting strange...? And we don't really get outright answers as to why? Answers that we would probably have if we had Mike's POV as much as we used to?

S3 is when we started getting Will's POV more when it came to him and Mike's relationship. Their dynamic sort of flips between s1-2 vs. s3-4.

Not to say we never get Mike's POV anymore, but when we do, it's hard to discern and so most people overlook it completely on the rare occasion that it does pop up.

Anyways, this whole concept reminded me of the main character shots we got at the end of s4.

These were shots that had multiple characters in the frame, but with only (1) person specifically at the forefront...

YALL KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS???

Arguably, these three main characters storyline's are tied together in a substantial way, and how it all plays out could have been foreshadowed, by the very order and even blocking of these shots.

Think about it.!?!.

Mike was arguably the main character of s1, which means getting his POV at the forefront again would be going back to the shows roots.

Will is arguably the main character of s2, and so blending Mike's arc (ending with Mike hugging Hopper hmmmmmm... Mike accepting his sexuality??) with Will's unreliable narrator arc being resolved (ending with Will and Mike side by side hmmmmmmm... Will getting the boy??), and this combined with Will's connection to the upside down, blending perfectly with his wonder twin, El's storyline (El walking passed Mike and Will.... El dumping his ass again??), with her now at the forefront as the main character, arguably just like in s3, except now she has full autonomy for the first time in the show, she knows her worth, she's accepted herself. And this all coming to a head with those three and everyone in the shows arcs being resolved by the end??

BITCH???

[everythingsinred]

~ essay navigation ~

Have you ever thought to yourself, "Anya's essays are interesting in theory, but I really don't wanna read ALL of it! I just wanna read the analysis of my favorite parts!" or maybe "I DID read all of Anya's essays but now I wanna reread one specific thing she talked about and I can't remember which post it was in because there's too many of them!" ? Me too! Don't even worry about it! Today I am addressing those issues with a TABLE OF CONTENTS!

This is for essay parts AND in-depth character questions related to GA that I've answered. I get a LOT of questions about GA's ending and thus I feel like I've talked about it exhaustively. This is how I make it all digestible. <3 Love ya!

Anime NM Essay (6 parts/includes a self-contained and easy to navigate table of contents so I won't go into it again here)

NatsuMikan Essay (Natsume's Version) (30 parts. This is the one people actually read I think):

Part 1 (covers ch 1-4. corresponds to pt 1 of mikan's/ mikan entering the academy and the northern woods game)

Part 2 (covers ch 5-8. corresponds to pt 1+2+3 of mikan's/ northern woods game and mikan's intro to academy life)

Part 3 (covers ch 9-12, corresponds to pt 4 of mikan's/ dodgeball, letters, culture fest announcement, and central town)

Part 4 (covers ch 13-16, corresponds to pt 5 of mikan's/ the reo arc)

Part 5 (covers ch 17-20, corresponds to pt 6+7 of mikan's/ culture fest up to anna's shop)

Part 6 (covers ch 21-26, corresponds to pt 7+8 of mikan's/ rest of the culture fest)

Part 7 (covers ch 27-30, corresponds to pt 9 of mikan's/ exams, kaname & bear's story, beginning of z arc)

Part 8 (covers ch 31-35, corresponds to pt 10 of mikan's/ part 2 of z arc up to going through the tunnel)

Part 9 (covers ch 36-40, corresponds to pt 11+12 of mikan's/ part 3 of z arc up to the discovery of z's headquarters)

Part 10 (covers ch 41-44, corresponds to pt 12+13 of mikan's/ part 4 of z arc up to its conclusion)

Part 11 (covers ch 45-47, corresponds to pt 13 of mikan's/ natsume's bday and christmas ball prep)

Part 12 (covers ch 48-52, corresponds to pt 14 of mikan's/ christmas ball and winter cleaning)

Part 13 (covers ch 53-55, corresponds to pt 15 of mikan's/ part 1 of new year's arc up to n&m sleeping together)

Part 14 (covers ch 56-61, corresponds to pt 16 of mikan's/ part 2 of new year's arc up to yakumo and natsume's fight)

Part 15 (covers ch 66-70, corresponds to pt 17+18 of mikan's/ part 3 of new year's arc up to conclusion and aoi's departure)

Part 16 (covers ch 71-76, corresponds to pt 19+20 of mikan's/ transition arc including alice stones and valentine's day)

Part 17 (covers ch 77-80, corresponds to pt 21 of mikan's/ part 1 of sports fest arc up to the equipment mishap)

Part 18 (covers ch 81-86, corresponds to pt 22+23 of mikan's/ part 2 of sports fest arc up to n&m's masked hug and conclusion)

Part 19 (covers ch 89-91, corresponds to pt 24 of mikan's/ soul swap arc)

Part 20 (covers ch 93-95, corresponds to pt 25 of mikan's/ transition arc including swimming up to n&m hugging to comfort each other)

Part 21 (covers ch 96-100, corresponds to pt 26 of mikan's/ beginning of escape arc, natsume's confessions)

Part 22 (covers ch 101-116, corresponds to pt 27+28 of mikan's/ part 1 of time travel arc up to izumi's death)

Part 23 (covers ch 117-123, corresponds to pt 28 of mikan's/ part 2 of time travel arc up to conclusion & mikan's decision)

Part 24 (covers ch 124-138, corresponds to pt 29+30+31 of mikan's/ high school arc up to conclusion)

Part 25 (covers ch 140-143, corresponds to pt 32+33 of mikan's/ yuka's funeral, christmas ball and shiki's gift to mikan)

Part 26 (covers ch 144-145, corresponds to pt 33 of mikan's/ rapunzel arc)

Part 27 (covers ch 146-149/ natsume and ruka developments and new year's planning)

Part 28 (covers ch 150-163, corresponds to pt 34 of mikan's/ new year's concert and natsume's death)

Part 29 (covers ch 178-180, corresponds to pt 39 of mikan's/ final chapters, which we all know by now i despise)

Part 30 (covers the nm content in kageki, corresponds to pt 40 of mikan's)

NatsuMikan Essay (Mikan's Version) (40 parts. Longer and stole more of my soul but got less engagement) :

Part 1 (covers ch 1-2, corresponds to pt 1 of natsume's/ mikan entering the academy)

Part 2 (covers ch 3-5, corresponds to pt 1+2 of natsume's/ adventure in the northern woods)

Part 3 (covers ch 6-8, corresponds to pt 2 of natsume's/ mikan's intro to academy life)

Part 4 (covers ch 9-12, corresponds to pt 3 of natsume's/ dodgeball, letters, culture fest announcement, and central town)

Part 5 (covers ch 13-16, corresponds to pt 4 of natsume's/ the reo arc)

Part 6 (covers ch 17-19, corresponds to pt 5 of natsume's/ culture fest throughout the SA event)

Part 7 (covers ch 20-22, corresponds to pt 5+6 of natsume's/ culture fest up to imai sibling meeting)

Part 8 (covers ch 23-26, corresponds to pt 6 of natsume's/ culture fest up to conclusion)

Part 9 (covers ch 26-30, corresponds to pt 7 of natsume's/ exams, kaname & bear's story, beginning of z arc)

Part 10 (covers ch 31-35, corresponds to pt 8 of natsume's/ part 2 of z arc up to going through the tunnel)

Part 11 (covers ch 36-39, corresponds to pt 9 of natsume's/ part 3 of z arc up to mikan falling in the sand trap)

Part 12 (covers ch 40-43, corresponds to pt 9+10 of natsume's/ part 4 of z arc up to pengy's death)

Part 13 (covers ch 44-47, corresponds to pt 10+11 of natsume's/ conclusion of z arc, natsume's bday and christmas prep)

Part 14 (covers ch 48-52, corresponds to pt 12 of natsume's/ christmas ball and winter cleaning)

Part 15 (covers ch 53-55, corresponds to pt 13 of natsume's/ part 1 of new year's arc up to n&m sleeping together)

Part 16 (covers ch 56-61, corresponds to pt 14/ part 2 of new year's arc up to h+r+m chasing after natsume and ruka deciding to tell his and natsume's tale)

Part 17 (covers ch 65-67, corresponds to pt 15 of natsume's/ part 3 of new year's arc up to mikan getting hit by persona's alice for the first time)

Part 18 (covers ch 68-70, corresponds to pt 15 of natsume's/ part 4 of new year's arc up to conclusion and aoi's departure)

Part 19 (covers ch 71-73, corresponds to pt 16 of natsume's/ part 1 of transition arc, including alice stones and valentines day)

Part 20 (covers ch 74-76, corresponds to pt 16 of natsume's/ part 2 of transition arc, including the graduation concert and hoshino)

Part 21 (covers ch 77-80, corresponds to pt 17 of natsume's/ part 1 of sports fest arc up to equipment mishap)

Part 22 (covers ch 81-84, corresponds to pt 18 of natsume's/ part 2 of sports fest arc up to the borrowing race)

Part 23 (covers ch 85-88, corresponds to pt 18 of natsume's/ part 3 of sports fest arc up to kibasen and conclusion)

Part 24 (covers ch 89-92, corresponds to pt 19 of natsume's/ soul swap arc)

Part 25 (covers ch 93-95, corresponds to pt 20 of natsume's/ transition arc including swimming up to n&m hugging to comfort each other)

Part 26 (covers ch 96-100, corresponds to pt 21 of natsume's/ beginning of escape arc, natsume's confessions)

Part 27 (covers ch 101-110, corresponds to pt 22 of natsume's/ part 1 of time travel arc up to n&m/kaoru&yuka parallel)

Part 28 (covers ch 111-123, corresponds to pt 22+23 of natsume's/ part 2 of time travel arc up to conclusion and mikan's decision)

Part 29 (covers ch 124-131, corresponds to pt 24 of natsume's/ part 1 of high school arc up to hotaru's farewell)

Part 30 (covers ch 132-134, corresponds to pt 24 of natsume's/ part 2 of high school arc, including mikan getting 3 love confessions and returning 1)

Part 31 (covers ch 135-139, corresponds to pt 24 of natsume's/ part 3 of high school arc up to conclusion and yuka's death)

Part 32 (covers ch 140-142, corresponds to pt 25 of natsume's/ reuniting with mikan in labyrinth)

Part 33 (covers ch 143-145, corresponds to pt 26 of natsume's/ rapunzel arc)

Part 34 (covers ch 150-163, corresponds to pt 27 of natsume's/ new year's concert, escaping with persona, and natsume's death)

Part 35 (covers ch 164-166/ mikan trying to save natsume)

Part 36 (covers ch 167-169/ mikan's widow arc)

Part 37 (covers ch 170-172/ memories lesson)

Part 38 (covers ch 173-177/ mikan's departure)

Part 39 (covers ch 178-180, corresponds to pt 29 of natsume's/ final chapters... this part is just me ranting actually)

Part 40 (covers nm content in kageki/ corresponds to pt 30 of natsume's)

To be continued because Tumblr hates me and I hate it back <3

[onii-onahole]

Overkill (Bita)

[twynte]

The way Hikaru ga Shinda Natsu is a gay allegory with gay people!!!

Like,,, with Hikaru and his “otherness”, the body-horror, the strong desire to belong. It’s layered. Hikaru (and possibly Yoshiki?) are queer and yet that’s hardly on their radar, hardly something they’re trying to hide (possibly they haven’t even realized it themselves). What they’re really worried abt is people finding out about Hikaru’s.. situation. There’s naivety to it. They’re only focused on what’s in front of their faces.

Mokumoku uses Hikaru’s possession as a means to illustrate the uncomfortable situations and fears that most queer ppl experience at least once without having to directly tie the situations to the queer community. His queerness and his hauntings are separate, and yet they run parallel.

Where there is creeping dread there are two boys trying to hide an extreme monstrosity from their small town…

Some notable scenes in which i am referring to:

1. When Hikaru was overwhelmed with the fear of Asako asking him “Just what are you?”. The manga panel that follows where Hikaru’s features are covered by his obsessive thought “how does she know”. —Hikaru’s fear of being found out, called out

2. The notion of the hauntings spreading, the town “growing strange”.

3. Hikaru and Yoshiki visiting the summer festival, where Yoshiki can pass under the arch while Himaru cannot. —Having to hide yourself while surround by strangers. Trying to keep yourself safe.

4. Again at the festival when they’re sitting on the ground with shaved ice and Hikaru is pleased that Yoshiki doesn’t recognize him as Hikaru. “It’s because you know I’m not the real Hikaru”…

5. The dragonfly scene where Yoshiki is explaining the slight difference in dragonflies. “Natsuakane and Akiakane look pretty much the same, but they’re entirely different species”. —An obvious jab at Hikaru’s possession, and further, a homophobic sentiment.

6. After becoming more Familiar with Hikaru, Yoshiki transitions from calling him an ‘it’ to a ‘he’.

etcetera etcetera . . .

[amethystina]

Kang Yo Han is the little spoon

Like, at least 80% of the time. Probably close to 90%.

Because while Yo Han might be bold when he's awake, I'm pretty sure he's a lot more hesitant when it comes to soft, intimate cuddling in the dark. It requires a lot of courage to both offer and ask for that kind of affection. And he's just not used to doing it — too awkward and, in many ways, too scared. What does he know about gentleness? And what would happen if Ga On said no? Or stiffened when Yo Han tried to hold him?

Ga On, though? He's the opposite. He's the kind of man who's more affectionate and confident without an audience, when it's just him and the person he cares for. So he would have a much easier time initiating that kind of intimacy after he and Yo Han get together. And, let's face it, if Ga On wants to cuddle, it's easier for him to just wrap himself around Yo Han than try to manoeuvre that unit of a man into being the big spoon.

And, deep down, I think both of them would revel in it.

Because Ga On is such a caring and nurturing person and he'd treasure the opportunity to be the one to offer that kind of warmth and comfort. Especially in such a simple yet honest way, one that also gives him a chance to bury his face against Yo Han's neck and just hold him. To, for once, be the one to take charge and have the answers to what they both need.

And Yo Han? I mean, imagine the relief he'd feel to have Ga On mould himself against his back and instead of phantom pain from his scar, he feels Ga On's heartbeats. And how much sweeter it would feel, that Ga On is the one holding on to him — tightly, fearlessly, of his own choice, and with so much tenderness. That has got to make Yo Han pretty damn euphoric some nights.

In short: Ga On, please give that touch-starved disaster of a man some hugs — he needs it.

They would never actually talk about it, of course, because Yo Han is a very prideful (and silly) man, but they both know. For all his power, strength, and darkness, when it's time to sleep, Kang Yo Han is the itty bitty spoon.

And they both absolutely love it.

[randomfoggytiger]

I'm thinking about Mulder burrowing into three layers of Arcadia pillows (one for his head, one for the back of his neck and shoulders, and one for the small of his back-- how domesticated), trying to look enticing so Scully won't kick him out.

Meanwhile, Mulder's fullproof plan is foiled once the camera zooms out and we see what Scully sees, The Bigger Picture:

While he is adorable in his cute, socked feet (which he kept on despite being in California after a hot run... because it ups his adorable, "don't kick me out" factor), Mulder left a dirty, lace-snarled shoe dangling off the corner of the bed while dumping HIS jacket over onto SCULLY's side of the bed and lying diagonally into her zone, consuming more of her space.

(Moreover, he quips about "Laura" and "we're married now"-- so it's not a Mulder proposition so much as a Mulder poke.)

And when Scully gives him the boot, what does Mulder do? Get up from his side and take his shoe and jacket like a reasonable person?

No. He toddlers over the bed in a purposefully awkward, gynmantics-for-middle-aged-unreasonable-people way,

dumping the pretense by grabbing the only pillow he cared about

and keeping a grip on it even after he squeezes into Scully's personal space to make a pointed quip,

gauge her reaction,

and toddle out of the room.

The last shot of him leaving is not even him: it's his pillow still in frame.

(That one gets me every time.)

Every second of this episode is so good I almost can't stand it.

That is all.