#immunocompromised nikolai gogol

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Fukuchi: You two are acting weird today.

Fyodor: I’m sick.

Nikolai: Yeah, well, you could’ve kept it to yourself.

Fyodor: You could’ve not brought me soup.

Nikolai: You could’ve not sneezed on an immunocompromised person in the first place!

Fyodor: You came to my house knowing full well that I was sick!

Nikolai: I was wearing two masks! And gloves!

Sigma: Please, I’m begging you both to stay away from each other at this point. There’s bedrooms right outside. It’s thirty feet maximum to walk to, I’ll even take you there, you’ve proven already that you can’t get me sick. Just lay down and rest away from each other, please.

Bram: So you’ve been trying to convince them a while?

Sigma: They’ve been passing this cold back and forth for a month and they won’t listen still to me.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: None

Word Count: 4,120 Words

Summary: Atsushi finds a small friend in the store. Chaos ensues as usual.

Warnings: Age Regression, Food Mention, Cursing, Past Injury Mention, Fighting Mention, Immunocompromised Character, Xenophobia Mention, Overworking Mention, Fainting Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Translations: Ofitsiant?: Server?; Ni, yo tse vzhe znav.: No, I knew it already.; Brechun.: Liar.; Comment vont les chatons?: How are the kittens?; Ils font du bien. Irina a essayé de se battre à nouveau contre mes cheveux.: They're doing good. Irina tried to fight my hair again.; Ce chat vous teste, il suffit de lui aspergé d’eau.: That cat is testing you, just spray her with water.; Et tirer sur mon bébé ? Je ne pourrais jamais!: And shoot my baby? I could never!

BSD Little Oneshots: Chapter 5: Little!Nikolai x Caregivers! Atsushi & Sigma

Atsushi liked to think he did the Agency's shopping well, he was the most effective at least. The quickest was Kunikida, though he messed up frequently. Dazai was the most incorrect, not shocking.

Ranpo was the slowest, Yosano forgot things, Kyouka only remembered her things, Jun'ichiro usually didn't have time, and Kenji was no longer allowed after purchasing only beef once. Their three new members, Sigma, Poe, and Mushitaro, weren't given the opportunity yet to do the shopping.

But, however, finding a familiar person's smell in the market wasn't a new experience for Atsushi. He'd found all sorts of friends and foes in markets before. He'd run into Poe getting fruit for Karl, Chuuya doing his shopping, even Mushitaro once back when he worked for Fyodor.

But this smell, it smelled like popcorn and peppermint. It was weirdly unique and he'd only ever smelled that odd combination once, during the Decay of the Angels incident, made by one Nikolai Gogol. A certain someone who had been avoiding the police for a year now.

He wanted to check, it could be false, his nose wasn't always correct when he wasn't actively looking for someone. Once he'd even followed Sigma's normal smell of cinnamon and ginger to find it was just Dazai's who had been near Sigma earlier in the day and Dazai, that asshole, his scent was hard to pick up, even when he was actively trying.

So he made a sharp turn into the the frozen aisle and saw him looking over the freezers like they'd offended him. He was quite inconspicuous, for Gogol at least. White hair down but kinked like he'd had it up for a while.

He was hidden away inside a jacket, face obscured by a space-themed mask. He supposed it being Winter, he was also hiding from the cold as well as the police. He saw that he was obviously very tired as he got closer, dark marks under his eyes.

"Gogol." He addressed, getting big eyes to look up at him as he grabbed Ranpo's frozen waffles from the freezer next to where Gogol was standing. Now that he was closer, he could also see that it had been ice cream the clown had been looking at before. "Are you stealing that?" Atsushi asked quietly, getting Yosano's fudge bars into the cart.

"No, I..." He sounded oddly quiet, he supposed hiding from police would make one change their voice. "I can't find it." He looked at him and to the ice cream.

"Find what?" Atsushi asked. He'd decided long ago that markets were peace treaty areas, he wouldn't fight someone in a store. Even if that someone was currently evading police, had stabbed him, planted his leg in the ground like a tree, tore the agency apart, and helped start a worldwide vampirism pandemic.

"Peppermint." Gogol sounded odd still but he spotted said ice cream and directed him to it by the arm. He practically lit up and, with the way his eyes held that same look, Atsushi realized he was regressing much like some of the other kids at he orphanage would.

"Hey, come on. Do you need anything else?" He was abiding his 'no market fights' rule but he also was worried. It smelled like Gogol was alone. Who let someone regressed go out alone without supervision? Gogol tried to take his arm away, trying to shake him off.

"No, you'll arrest me." He looked scared. That was the opposite of the effect he wanted.

"No, I don't arrest people when I'm shopping. I have a rule against detaining people in markets." He assured him and Gogol silently stuck by his side, eventually holding onto his arm with desperate hands as he helped him get the rest of the things on his list.

Whilst they were shopping, Gogol had told him of how he'd just got off from working a fourteen hour shift, he could see his shaking, actually, one he mentioned his shift. It had sent him into high alert because what bullshit was that? Fourteen hours without a break to where your employee was so stressed that they regressed in the middle of a frozen aisle.

"And then I'm done. Thank you, Gogol." He smiled at him, getting a giggle in response that let him know he'd made him smile. Nikolai certainly warmed up to him quickly, he was almost cute. "Do you need to grab anything else? I can bring you home." He offered.

"Dinner. I need dinner." Atsushi realized it was nearly eleven at night. Could Nikolai even cook if he was as small as he seemed?

"What do you need for it?" He asked.

"Want." Nikolai grabbed a pre-made bento with assorted sandwiches from the deli and Atsushi led him up to the counter to pay. "I can pay." Nikolai tried to hand him money.

"Keep it. My treat for helping, the list would have taken me hours. It only took about twenty minutes." Atsushi assured him.

"Thank you." Nikolai still seemed so shy, even for a child. Once they were outside, they moved Nikolai's items into one bag while Atsushi held his own.

"We're out of the market." Nikolai reminded him softly, showing him his hands, trembling wrists held together. He expected Atsushi to arrest him now?

"I've gotta get you home still. You need to eat and I need to get these groceries to the agency after I get you home." Atsushi reminded him.

"I'm not bad? Because I'm little?" Nikolai asked.

"No, you're not in a state where arresting you would be right. And I'm in no state to get you to the Agency even if I did arrest you." Atsushi told him.

"I can go?" The clown asked softly, almost disbelieving he would hold to this. He'd done the same for Chuuya once, after a guy followed him around the store. He smiled kindly at him and Nikolai seemed like he was smiling back under his mask as he nodded.

"What's with the mask, by the way? It know it's winter but there isn't any flu yet." Atsushi asked.

"I can't leave the house without it, my immune system doesn't work, I'd get sick." Nikolai was walking with him, letting Atsushi take him home.

"You're immunocompromised?" He asked.

"Yeah, I get sick a lot. I've been sick twice the last three weeks."

"Why?"

"Because my boss doesn't let us wear masks at work. He says they're unsightly." Nikolai admitted.

"Sounds mean to me. You should be able to wear it if it helps you." Atsushi felt slightly angry at that. someone was practically forcing their staff to get sick to appease themselves only? It boiled his blood.

"He is mean. Mister Aoki doesn't like me."

"What? Why?"

"Well, Mister Aoki bought the restaurant I work for almost four months ago and, when he did, the old owner made him sign a contract saying he wouldn't fire anyone the old owner hired for a full calendar year. I'm one of the only five people left that Miss Minami hired, I've been there for eleven and a half months now. Everyone else quit when he began upping our hours and took away our breaks." Atsushi looked over the way Nikolai looked tense. He didn't like it.

"He's convinced HR that I'm lying and I'm just looking for payout because of Miss Minami's contract. The contract said charges would be pressed on behalf of any employee that got fired and the money from the lawsuit awarded to the employee. That's what happened with Annette when he told her to leave last month, at least. Miss Minami did her best to make sure her staff was taken care of when she retired." He looked a little happier, he guessed, less tense thinking about his old boss.

"He doesn't like foreigners but Miss Minami liked having people who could speak to her patrons in whatever language the customer spoke if they were visiting Japan. We used to have these mini-sections based on who could speak what, so we could make sure anyone travelling could speak whatever they were comfortable with." Atsushi would have liked to visit this place back when Miss Minami was running it from how it sounded. The woman sounded like a saint.

"Can't you contact corporate or anything?" He asked.

"I wish. I'd have to be on the phone for hours and I've been working every day for fourteen hours a day for months now. He made sure none of us had a way to contact corporate unless we stayed up all night and came in again the next day. Because he'd give us a write-up if we called out without a doctor's note, which nobody would have time to get."

"But I get more money out of him overworking me, so, at least, I can save up money for now so I have something when he fires me eventually." He sounded resigned to it, actually, like he was used to being overworked. Atsushi could only imagine the hell Fyodor found this guy in.

"He sounds like he shouldn't own that place if he won't run it correctly." Atsushi assured him.

"I'll probably need to quit soon if it keeps up, I can't handle it much more." For regressed, Nikolai knew how to talk very well. Maybe he was fluctuating since he was with someone? He'd only be able to assume but it was likely Gogol never regressed around others before.

"Where do you work?" He asked.

"Minami Café. Four blocks from my apartment. Some of your Port Mafia friends come through sometimes. That dark one? Your partner, I think? Dazai's boyfriend, Chuuya, comes in a lot too, he likes sitting in my section so I'll speak French with him." Nikolai remarked.

"I think I've been there, almost a year ago I think, with Sigma too. My server was Catalina."

"Catalina quit three months ago. I was probably off the day you came in, Catalina used to be my opposite when Miss Minami was there. If I was off, she was working. We shared a section."

"Ah, Atsushi! There you are! Hi, Atsushi's friend! Kunikida sent me to tell you we forgot to put milk on the list!" Dazai reminded him.

"I know, I got it anyway." He showed him the bags.

"And who's your friend? All bundled up and oh, what a cute space mask!" Dazai poked Gogol's mask, making him buzz back to get the finger away from him. "You look so familiar but I can't put my finger on it." Dazai hummed.

Nikolai had stopped moving. Atsushi was sure he stopped breathing, he was scared. He understood it, he was regressed and hungry and stressed. He was overwhelmed with the amount of interaction, he just wanted to get home. Atsushi, of all people, understood that.

"Hmm. It's not cute enough to hide you, Gogol." Dazai's tone went dark and a pair of cuffs were suddenly on Nikolai's wrists.

"Hey!" He protested, trying to get Nikolai away but Dazai was dragging Nikolai to the Agency.

"You get to explain to Fukuzawa why you pinned the Agency for the Decay of the Angels incident. I want it from your mouth, clown." Dazai roughly moved him, Atsushi was following them, growling at Dazai to stop it, that he was just walking him home and they could talk to him later.

But Dazai, instead, dragged him into the Agency and tossed him into Fukuzawa's office, landing on his hands, shaking still. Atsushi had handed the bags to put away to Jun'ichiro on he way to follow Dazai.

"Dazai!" Atsushi roared now that they were behind closed doors, away from the prying eyes of the public. Gogol looked ready to cry and Atsushi wouldn't blame him if he did.

"Tell him." Dazai demanded. Nikolai looked up at the president, who had stood from his chair to look at him on the floor. He looked at Dazai.

"I wanna go home!" Nikolai bit out.

"Dazai, why did you bring me a fake Gogol?" Fukuzawa asked, sitting back down.

"It's the real one. Look at his eyes." Dazai requested.

"Hm. Yellow and white. The same mark on the left one too. I suppose you're correct. Take him to the holding cell down the hall until we can get confirmation and then we'll contact Ango."

Atsushi wasn't fast enough to grab Nikolai to protect him so Dazai grabbed him by the handcuffs and dragged him off to the holding cell, taking the bag off the Ukrainian's arm before locking him in the ability-blocking bars. It wasn't but a few seconds later that Nikolai collapsed, shaking and breathing seeming hard.

"Open it!" Atsushi snapped at Dazai.

"He's faking, Atsushi. He's a criminal." Dazai reasoned. Atsushi yanked the key from his hand anyway, unlocking the door and taking Nikolai from the cell. He was clammy and clung to him, beginning to cry now that he felt safe again.

"It's okay, I'm sorry." No doubt he'd just dropped even more into that vulnerable headspace and he wasn't well now.

"Dazai? Did you get Atsushi?" Sigma came in asking. "Nikolai?" Sigma asked.

"Atsushi, why are you helping him? He could escape!" Dazai snapped.

"Shut up, Dazai!" Atsushi growled.

"Atsushi, why is he here?" Sigma asked.

"He's regressed, he's not in the right mental space to handle being an adult. I was taking him home so he could eat because he probably hasn't eaten since breakfast and Dazai arrested him." He calmly explained.

"Niko." Sigma crouched with them. Nikolai looked up at him with teary eyes. "There you are, huh, Kolya?" Sigma smiled for him.

"Sima." Nikolai sniffled and hugged tight to Atsushi.

"How old are you?" Sigma asked.

"'M two now. Was six." Nikolai whispered, confirming that he'd dropped more when Dazai arrested him.

"It's okay to be small, Kolya. Me and Atsushi are here, you're safe now." Sigma's soft, gentle voice seemed to calm him, Atsushi was grateful.

"What, are we going to let him go too?" Dazai snapped.

"I need to speak with you. In fact, I'm calling an Agency meeting." Atsushi handed Nikolai off to Sigma, who took the clown with little hesitance.

"Hello, baby bird." Sigma greeted him, hugging him close. "Let's eat, huh, your belly sounds hungry." Sigma offered him.

"Okay, Sima." Nikolai happily smiled, letting Sigma take care of him as Atsushi dragged Dazai out of the room and into Fukuzawa's office.

"I'm calling an Agency meeting. We need to talk about Gogol's arrest before we decide anything." Atsushi requested.

"Alright." So Fukuzawa rounded the other Agency members up and off to the meeting room they went. "Alright, Atsushi, what did we need to talk about?" Fukuzawa gave him the floor to speak.

"Dazai brought in Nikolai Gogol today, Sigma is with him, that's why he's not here." The room went quiet.

They'd been looking for Nikolai for a year, he remembered, since the Agency had been reestablished a year ago, four months after defeating Fukuchi and a month after Dazai was released from Meursault on dropped charges. He was reminded that Sigma, Poe, and Mushitaro had been hired on three months after their reestablishment.

"Yes, you were with him, Atsushi." All eyes buzzed between Dazai and Atsushi.

"I was doing the shopping, as you can tell, the fridge is full again and someone had to do it. I found him in the store but you know my rule about causing fights in markets, they're a neutral ground." He reminded everyone.

"Gogol has been here, in Yokohama, for the last eleven and a half months working at a café. he hasn't done anything wrong and certainly, we'd have heard if he did. I was walking him home, I had full control of the situation and I'd know both where he works and where he lives by now if Dazai hadn't interrupted." He reminded the brunette, who huffed.

"Why did you interact in the first place?" Kunikida asked.

"At first, I had found him by scent. I wanted to confirm, I wasn't planning to interact. But he's regressed, he needed help and I couldn't let him walk home alone regressed. Regression is a coping method, some of the other kids at the orphanage did it, it's to help with stress and stuff. You aren't in an adult mindset, you're in a child's mindset. Gogol said he was six before, when I was taking him home. He's now two, he dropped more due to the introduction of more stress." He explained.

"So Dazai effectively arrested a six year old?" Ranpo asked.

"Yes." Atsushi confirmed.

"You two were talking beforehand, what were you talking about?" Dazai asked.

"His job." Atsushi looked at him. "He was talking about how his new boss is xenophobic and overworks him. We started talking because I asked why he was wearing a mask, he's immunocompromised and he's been getting sick a lot lately because his boss doesn't allow him to wear his mask at work."

"That's discrimination!" Kenji whined.

"Yeah, well, I didn't say his new boss was a good one." Atsushi reminded them.

"So what? We let him continue?" Dazai asked.

"I suggest we keep tabs on him instead of arresting him. It would build trust with him should we need a strong ability like his to aid us at any point, while still allowing us to make sure he isn't a threat anymore." Atsushi suggested.

"It does make sense. If he were in a prison, he could easily break out with that ability. Plus the ability is very powerful and useful if we had access to use it." Ranpo announced happily. "I agree with Atsushi's plan!"

"It would be helpful." Kenji agreed.

"Keeping an eye on him would be quite useful, he sounds like he's assimilated back to standard society again from how it sounds." Kunikida shockingly agreed. He expected he'd have to sway both Kunikida and Dazai.

"Alright, if Kunikida trusts this, then I'm for it." Jun'ichiro agreed.

"I agree with Ranpo. He could easily get out of a prison, keeping him monitored and in a controlled environment is a much better solution." Kyouka agreed.

"It sounds like it could be a good idea." Yosano agreed.

"I agree." Mushitaro told them.

"It couldn't hurt to see first before arresting him." Poe agreed.

"I don't like this, but I agree we should monitor him first." Dazai pouted, like he usually did when he was outvoted.

"Alright, so it's agreed, we'll have tabs on Gogol for now instead of arresting him. If he goes out of line, we can arrest him if we need." Fukuzawa announced.

"Hey, guys, Nikolai says he needs to go home and feed his cats." Sigma poked his head into the meeting room.

"He's free to leave now. Dazai, get him out of those cuffs." Fukuzawa told him.

"Niko, honey, here." Sigma held Nikolai, who looked much less pale and shaky now, Sigma must have made sure he ate, and guided his hands out toward Dazai, who unhooked the cuffs.

"Now, let's go home? Huh? Go feed the cats? Get some sleep?" Sigma asked, Atsushi smiled at them both.

"Okay!" Nikolai squeaked out, latching onto Sigma's arm and letting the other lead him, Atsushi following them to Nikolai's apartment so he could help Sigma take care of him. They were greeted to six little kittens awaiting their owner, who sat with them on the floor, distracting them enough to get said kittens food as per Nikolai's instruction.

"Here, kitties." Sigma called the kittens away to eat.

"Annette's cat had kittens and nobody else wanted them since her cat used to be a stray. There's Irina, Viktoria, Zoya, Sichi, Anastasia, and Vladimir." Nikolai smiled showing off his kittens, who seemed to have little to no reaction to him showing them off.

"Well, you trained them pretty well already." Sigma smiled.

"Sichi is named after you. Sigma, Sig, Sichi. I call her baby bird, like I used to call you. And Sticky, because she needs baths a lot because she likes getting into trouble." 

"Well, it looks like you're the baby bird now." Nikolai smiled at him, giggling, as Sigma poked his nose.

"I'm six, birdie!" Nikolai whined.

"Still a baby bird." Sigma told him. "And baby birds should get some sleep. What time is your work tomorrow?"

"Job starts at 8:30. The alarms are set for 7 in the morning so I can shower and get ready." Nikolai told them, letting Sigma pick him up and giggling as he poked at Sigma's arms. "Birdie's strong."

"Always have been. You just never asked to be picked up before." Sigma reminded him, carting him off to bed, helping him get comfortable and Nikolai was out before either of his two companions knew what was happening.

Sigma ended up being the one to stay the night and Atsushi went home to sleep. The next day, showing up to Minami Café with Poe and requesting to be sat in Nikolai's section was fun. Nikolai lit up seeing him and smiled at Poe.

"Any specific way to make your coffee?" He asked Poe once the other had requested coffee.

"Surprise me." Atsushi laughed, Ranpo's influence was rubbing off on poor Poe again.

"So make it how I like it, got it. Four creamers, three pumps of marshmallow syrup, four chocolate espresso shots, with nutmeg. Tastes like hyper Christmas." Nikolai's smile was cute, Atsushi liked seeing it, especially when it wasn't forced.

"And just sprite for me." He told him.

"I know you two are watching me." Nikolai let them know, smile not faltering in the least bit, he appeared friendly still even in his body language. "I don't plan to do anything, but don't get me in trouble, I'd rather not lose money getting pulled into a two hour long lecture again."

"Ofitsiant?"

"Learning Ukrainian for me, eh, Chuuya?"

"Ni, yo tse vzhe znav." 

"Brechun." Nikolai laughed. "I'll be back with your drinks." He went to see what Chuuya wanted.

"Comment vont les chatons?" 

"Ils font du bien. Irina a essayé de se battre à nouveau contre mes cheveux."

"Ce chat vous teste, il suffit de lui aspergé d’eau." Nikolai put his hand over his heart.

"Et tirer sur mon bébé? Je ne pourrais jamais!" He feigned mock offense, making Chuuya laugh a bit.

"I want to take home the most annoying, toddler-looking meal you can manage. Akutagawa's asking me to bring him food when I come into work today and I plan to bother him while helping him." Chuuya asked the Ukrainian.

"No problem. That would probably be the cheese and garlic soup, mashed potatoes, and the flower and star cut steamed vegetables from the kids menu." Nikolai seemed to take a glee from assisting Chuuya in his torment of poor Akutagawa.

"That sounds perfect, Nikolai, thank you." Atsushi held back a laugh at thinking about Akutagawa eating food meant for a baby. Poe was laughing quietly.

"Nikolai, we'll take the same thing Chuuya asked for back to Dazai after we're done." Nikolai held back his own laugh now, as did Chuuya.

"Getting your toddler to eat is difficult." Chuuya teased. The banter between their two tables continued for all of lunch and both of them getting their to-go orders at the end and Nikolai waved them off before they left.

Eight months later, Nikolai's contract with Miss Minami was up but Chuuya had bought the restaurant two months prior from one Aoki Kenzou once he learned of the conditions that Nikolai was working in. Atsushi was very grateful, so was Sigma when he found out.

Nikolai and all the other workers got a full paid two weeks off after he took over and Chuuya had Nikolai help him send out letters to the workers who had left due to Aoki, both letting them know the restaurant was under new management and inviting them to take their old positions back, no questions or interview necessary, if they wanted.

Atsushi was surprised that half the old staff came back and Nikolai happily welcomed his friends back as Minami Café went back to how it used to work before Aoki came into the picture. Chuuya was running it well if Nikolai not being so constantly stressed was anything to go by.

Nikolai finally had free time and shifts that weren't fourteen hours long without breaks. With his new free time, Nikolai was finally able to help the Agency part time and he finally seemed happy and actually well-rested and not constantly tired.

Atsushi and Sigma still got to 'babysit' him sometimes, which was always cute, Nikolai showing up usually with a kitten or stuffed animal and coloring books to either the Agency office or one of their apartments.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: Nikolai x Sigma (Pre-Relationship)

Word Count: 3,326 Words

Summary: Nikolai doesn't know how to stick up for himself while working for Tonan.

Warnings: Age Regression, Hurt/Comfort, Harassment Mention, Panic Mention, Assault Mention, Immunodeficient Character, Panic Attack Mention, Death Mention, Food Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

BSD Little Oneshots: Chapter 4: Little!Nikolai x Caregiver!Sigma

The wig was too tight today. Nikolai supposed he should have loosened it after cleaning it again, but he'd had barely any time this morning to get dressed, let alone think about fixing his disguise.

He hated this job, he did, even if it was for his Dostoy. Was the job truly worth being abused by his boss? It felt too oddly much like being shown off at the circus when Tonan sometimes decided he'd like to show off his 'pretty secretary' to other people.

His headspace was far too cloudy today staring at mindless paperwork and words he couldn't even make out anymore and glasses that were hurting his head more. He took said glasses off to rub at his eyes, feeling hands on his shoulders that went down over his chest.

He looked up at that, finding Tonan there and he smiled for him regardless. He'd done so well appearing professional around him, despite the very blatant workplace harassment. But he couldn't really do anything about that, now could he? He needed to go with the plan that Fyodor had set into motion already.

"Hello, Sir!" Tonan didn't respond, he assumed it was the taking off of his glasses. He never had before, he knew. They were something practically useless but did well hiding his blind eye from being noticed, allowing that to be overlooked.

"My head just hurts a bit. Paperwork, you know. It's no problem, Sir." He explained, trying to quell his boss' seeming worry over him.

"I don't care." He was confused at that. Even when he wasn't particularly working well, Tonan always cared. He'd assign more work at the least, like a punishment, but it just made it so Nikolai got paid more staying to work late nights.

"Sir-" He tried.

"Shut up." He felt hands on his waist, hauling him up, making him fumble and drop his glasses onto his desk, getting dragged into Tonan's private office. Maybe he had to speak to him in secret and his waist was his only leverage? But he was nervous, he was afraid.

He didn't like people touching him, especially not his waist, where his old ringmaster would forcefully drag him by to force him to move. And he certainly didn't like being pulled along by said waist, it made him nearly panic, which he held back knowing he had to keep his true identity properly hidden.

"Mister Tonan?" He asked, watching the official lock the door and pull the shades down. He was getting scared in this lonesome enclosed space. Is this how Sigma felt when he was held captive by human traffickers?

"Shut up, I waited four months for this." Tonan growled and he felt hands grabbing at unwanted places and he tried to push his hands off. He didn't have another way to stop him, he couldn't use his ability or his cover would be gone. The plan could go up in smoke. And this far in? He couldn't waste their meticulous plan now.

"Stop fighting." The booming voice made him freeze up, breath shaking as he stopped moving, eyes looking over him. "Good boy."

He felt sick, he wanted to struggle or fight back or use his ability, kill this man. But he couldn't do anything but wait until he was unceremoniously dumped onto the floor, like he was just a piece of trash, shaking and hiccups pouring from him.

"Get dressed, go work." He didn't move, respond, he couldn't. He couldn't even bring himself to fully acknowledge Tonan's presence. He was busy trying to breathe, trying to stop shaking.

"Listen to your orders!" He shook getting himself redressed and went back to work out at his desk. He couldn't focus, he couldn't breathe even, but he felt some weird autopilot come over him to make him work.

"See, I knew you'd like some stress relief with me. Go home if you're work's done, my good boy." His skin crawled at the pet name. He felt sick at it. But his work was done, so he got to go home early tonight.

He certainly didn't feel like he was at home, he felt somewhere a million miles away. He hid in his blankets, having scrubbed his skin raw with burning water. His black and white kitten, Vera, practically stalked him, sensing her owner's distress and trying to help solve it the best her tiny self could.

He knew he went to sleep crying, but he couldn't bear to acknowledge it, he couldn't even think about going back to work tomorrow. He'd cry more if he went in again, he knew, so he called out sick.

The first time he had, actually, even with his weak immune system, he hadn't called out yet from this job. Thankfully, the Rats and Angels meeting was the next day. He couldn't think of anything more mindless than sitting through a meeting, getting to spend time with his friends.

Getting to the meeting was silent, he didn't know how to act anymore, he just wanted to not be alone. They all seemed rather shocked to see him, they hadn't expected him, obviously. He didn't really expect to just go completely blank during the meeting.

"Nikolai? Thoughts, since you're here today." Ivan asked and Fyodor looked at him expectantly. Everyone was. He felt so overwhelmed already that he broke from the pressure, feeling tears unwillingly pour over his face, trying his best to hide them. He didn't want them, he didn't want them to think he was weak.

"Is he crying?" Fukuchi asked. He bit back the hiccups that threatened to come from his unsteady breaths. He didn't want to be called weak, he couldn't let them think he was weak. He took a deep breath, trying to even himself out.

"I'm sorry, I'm just sick." He tried to excuse himself, roughly wiping his face, trying to calm himself down for them.

"You don't just burst out crying from being sick, Nikolai." Sigma reminded him.

"Shut up!" He snapped at him, eyes glaring at the two-tone, who rolled his eyes at him and his outburst. "I'm sorry, I just..." He couldn't find a lie, he just couldn't, he was afraid they wouldn't believe him. Sigma looked at him both confused and shocked. Had he really never apologized to him for anything before?

"Does he have a fever or something?" Sigma asked, sitting forward like he was finally intrigued. Nikolai gasped at the hand on his forehead, shoving it away, not letting himself get touched.

"Don't." His voice was trembling, he knew his illusion of being fine had broken.

"Nikolai, what's wrong?" Fyodor asked.

"I can't go back there." He tried and failed to stop the sob that came out, he wanted to hide but he couldn't. He, of all people, knew his ability wasn't one to use when he was this emotional, he could hurt himself that way.

"Go back where?" Bram asked tiredly.

"I can't breathe." He clawed at his chest, trying to undo buttons he knew would have no effect on his difficulty breathing.

"Hey, look at me." Sigma suddenly insisted, hands having taken his own, pressing a hand against the bi-tone's chest. "Slowly, you're having a panic attack. Breathe with me. In through your nose, out through the mouth. You're safe here." He was never more grateful that Sigma wasn't one for humiliating others.

His breath shook, but he did his best to follow the instructions given, hand against Sigma's chest shaking still, hiccups dying down as Sigma tucked him up into his arms. They didn't feel suffocating or frighten him, he felt safer within the other man's arms for now. Perhaps he was just so tired his body wouldn't react.

"Kolya, what happened? Where can't you go back to?" Fyodor asked. He sounded to tense, almost like he was holding himself back from going on a rampage. He was frightened he would be the first one killed in said rampage.

"Tonan." He managed, wiping his face and looking at the Russian, eyes looking over him.

"What did he do? Is your cover broken?" Fukuchi asked.

"Got me alone. Called it stress relief. I was too scared to fight back." He could practically feel the dark aura his admission made settle over the meeting room.

"Tonan assaulted him." Fyodor sounded disgusted. He wanted to burst out crying at the sound. Dostoy probably thought he was disgusting, he felt his heart in his throat, sniffling like a child. He supposed it was rightful of him, someone who had no proper childhood to speak of, to cry like a misplaced child.

"It's okay now, Kolya." Sigma held him close. He felt an odd calmness settle over him, like someone just put clouds in his mind. He felt foggy but he felt fingers so calming in his hair from Sigma. He buried against him, he needed him there right now. He needed to have someone close.

"I'll kill him." Fyodor alerted everyone. Nikolai was too busy clung to Sigma to care what everyone was talking about.

"Kolya?" Sigma asked him, voice gentle and he looked up at him, confused about his own weirdly foggy headspace and Fyodor's disappearance when he looked for him.

"Where Dostoy?" He asked. His voice sounded tiny, it sounded weirdly childish, more than normal, at least. Sigma simply smiled at him.

"Dostoy went out for a minute. How old do you feel?" Sigma asked. He thought for a minute. His age? He was ripely twenty six, his birthday had been recent too. Sigma surely remembered his chaos of a birthday party.

But his mind kept feeding him the answer of two. Why did he feel two? What was happening? He felt scared, he didn't like this confusion. He held two shaky fingers for Sigma.

"Alright, little one. You're safe, it's okay now. Maybe, if you ask him, Pushkin will go get you some candy." Sigma offered. He lit up, he liked candy, he wanted candy. He giggled, nodding.

"Please!?" He chirped at Pushkin.

"Why does he need candy?" Pushkin asked.

"Get the candy and kids snacks. Now." Sigma's voice was commanding, staring at Pushkin with a very scary glare.

"Okay, okay, fine." Pushkin left and Nikolai smiled at Sigma, his thumb tucked into his mouth, other hand playing with Sigma's, poking his face as well, making the other begin smiling fondly again.

"He'll be dead by tomorrow midday." Fyodor announced as he came back in.

"No murder around the baby." Sigma requested.

"Baby?" Fyodor asked.

"Our Kolya has regressed from stress." Sigma informed the rest in the room finally.

"Ah. Truly, a cute baby." Fyodor smiled at him and Nikolai smiled back at him, giggles coming from him, he was happy.

"I don't know what candy or snacks he likes, I got some most of whatever the store had." Pushkin frantically put the bags of food on the table as he came back in. Sigma offered him a handful of whatever he managed to reach. Nikolai slowly, making sure he could, took one of the matcha kitkats.

"Kolya, that's unsanitary." Ivan let him know, handing him a pacifier. Where he got it, nobody knew, nobody probably ever would. But Nikolai took it nonetheless and he giddily settled against Sigma, eating his kitkat and giggling as Fyodor, instead of proceeding the meeting, simply put on a kids movie for him to watch and everyone else to relax to.

The next day going into work was stressful, but he was back to his adult mindset, working until about twenty minutes before his lunch break and he realized he hadn't brought his lunch in his scramble not to be late getting to work.

Once he'd figured out the plan Fyodor had to kill his boss today, he'd put a stop to that, he needed their plan to go through and killing Tonan now would destroy said plan. Tonan had just opened his office door and Nikolai dreaded his entry to the room when he saw a familiar face in very unfamiliar hair.

Sigma, all dressed up in a short light brown wig he'd thrown at him whilst picking the wig for his own disguise, having gone for this current black one instead. He carried a bag and a big smile, a pink visitor's pass clipped to his shirt.

"Mischa, love." Ah, his fake name. Sigma's voice was purposely soft to greet him. "You didn't bring lunch." He held out the bag for him. Tonan was out of his office now, watching him with a keen eye.

"Thank you, Nikita." He picked the first name that came to mind, he didn't care which one it was, but Sigma couldn't be called 'Sigma' in front of his boss.

"And who is this, Mischa?" Tonan asked at him nervously taking the bag from Sigma.

"Just his husband, sir. My Mischa forgot to bring lunch with him today, I hope you don't mind I showed up to bring it to him." Oh, so Sigma was playing the husband card to check on him while also bringing him the lunch he'd forgotten to bring.

"Thank you, honey." He smiled at him, garnering a smile back at him.

"You have a husband?" Tonan asked.

"Yes, sir, we've been married for six years now, going on seven. Sorry for the intrusion, but my husband is just worried about me since I was sick yesterday. You know my immune system isn't the best, so Nikita gets worried about me when I get sick." He assured his boss.

Sigma was clearly smiling at him having gotten his little devious plot to check on him and make sure Tonan didn't bother him. But the other was very obviously putting on a 'concerned husband' mask and he couldn't be prouder of him for acting so well. He assumed it was a good mask because he was actually worried about Nikolai's safety and truly was concerned.

"Ah, well, your husband is safe here, Nick was it? So you can give him his lunch and leave. I just got more paperwork sent over for him." Sigma didn't frown like he expected, surprisingly.

Nikolai smiled at Sigma, letting the other lean over his desk and kiss him goodbye. It didn't feel bad? He didn't hate it, he was soft, almost gentle with him. He broke into a big smile, but tried not to show his complete giddy to the two other men in his presence.

He could squeal over it later when he was at home with his kitten, Vera. He could gush to his kitten, who would simply run around with her zoomies and occasionally land on him to knead at his belly.

"Have a good day, dear." Sigma smiled against his lips, he felt like his heart was far too light for his liking, beating too quickly for it not to be a good thing.

"You too, darling." He smiled back, stealing a kiss back from Sigma, the first of several he knew he'd steal from him.

"I'll see you later, Mischa. Dimitri's making dinner for us to go on a double date with him and Vlad." He could only assume he meant Ivan and Fyodor by the names. He was happy to have him here.

"I love you." He knew saying it might be dangerous, but he liked it. He liked him and he wanted him to know.

"I love you too." Sigma's smile only got brighter. "I'll see you at home." Sigma kissed his forehead, leaving him rather giddy and very much awaiting getting home to his friends being there. Tonan huffed, leaning against his desk.

"You're not to tell your husband what we did the other day, Mischa." Tonan ordered. "I will destroy your life if you do. Your career and reputation will be gone, I assure you." Tonan tried to threaten.

"Sir, I don't plan to. But I'll have to quit if you plan to try that with me again. I have a husband, I love him, our marriage is happy. I can't be your secretary if you don't respect my marriage."

"If you're married, why don't you wear a ring?" 

"It had to get cut off. Remember, I collapsed a month ago because I got sick? You were visiting Hong Kong with Mister Inoue? The doctor cut it off me. Nikita is working on getting me a new one." He lied through his teeth. But Tonan bought it, he supposed, by the lack of bite back he got.

"Fine, but never tell anyone of what we did. It was a one time thing and it was a mistake." He could have cried hearing that. On top of the high of getting to be romantic with Sigma, that felt like a relief. He didn't have to worry about being taken advantage of again.

"Now, go take lunch, your work will be here waiting for you to come back." Tonan ordered him. Clocking out for his hour lunch, the bag Sigma brought him in hand, he was borderline euphoric, near tears too actually. He spotted Sigma waiting for him and he hugged him tightly.

"On lunch?" Sigma asked.

"I'm going to cry." He alerted him, quickly getting them out of there. He sat them in a park, alone near the swing set and he leaned against Sigma's shoulder.

"He said he won't do it again, that it was a one time thing. Because I told him our marriage is happy. I did it, I stood up to him. I told him I'd quit if he kept trying." He felt a strong arm around him, he sniffled.

"Fyodor's with Vega. Ivan is making piroshki for dinner." Sigma reminded him. He laughed, wiping his face softer than he had the day before.

"I should eat, I only have an about fifty minutes left." He reminded them both. Looking through the bag and finding more matcha kitkats, popcorn, and cotton candy, with a container of varenyky, deruni, and olivier potato salad.

"Fyodor helped me make it. He said you might like having something feel like home, especially when you're stressed by work." Sigma smiled nervously.

"You made this?" He asked.

"Well, I tried. Fyodor did most of the work." He gave a laugh, rubbing his back as he wasted no time trying them.

"You're the best." He alerted him.

"So are you." Sigma smiled, watching the birds in the sky while he ate.

"Tell Fyodor he did good teaching you to cook." He requested.

"I will." Sigma was quiet, leaning against him.

"I do love you." He finally managed.

"I know, I really do love you too." He couldn't have smiled more.

"Then give me more kisses." He dragged him to face him, kissing him, laughing when Sigma rolled his eyes and agreed by kissing him. So he got a boyfriend out of the deal. Or were they husbands? After all, a man who 'died' six years ago and a man who was made only three years ago wouldn't be able to get legally married.

He supposed he should have forged certificates made for them anyway, they could just make a second set they'd keep with their own unofficial marriage. Maybe have a little wedding between them and their friends. He could force Fyodor to be the officiant, he supposed. And that thought made him laugh against Sigma's mouth, making the other break the kiss to question him.

"We could make Dostoy be our wedding officiant." He laughed out, which just led to them both laughing in a park at the ideas of their imaginary wedding, topped right off with Vera being a flower girl and Ivan in some hideous imaginary bridesmaid dress.

He didn't really mind being tied down to Sigma, it didn't feel like a cage. It felt more like flying, his heart sure was and he was sure Sigma felt happy too. He stole more kisses, because of course he would, they kept making his heart go fast, and he liked it.