#in a certain way and make Sell-able Moments. and gay men in games sell.

[xboxseries]

What the fuck are you on about man.

[blueiight]

You're so right. the sex industry is lucrative and fast money. Since the Du Lacs were months from bankruptcy an honest business was not going to cut it. He even says that his little corner grocery stores weren't making enough. And I'll bet getting that kind of big money that fast while also being the token/pet black was addictive.

he needed to get rich fast cuz his family was also unaware of how close to bankruptcy they were. i wouldnt say he liked being the token black person more than he liked the power n psychosexual performance of controlling what these rich white men have sexual access to. “the product was desire” his modern self says. and he was the plug. re: his fixation on acquiring the fairplay salloon in ep1-2 is motivated by that & etc etc etc. ep1 when lestat is like “u made me buy a townhouse in the quarter” louis is like “i know men of my race look the same to u ppl but i aint sell u no house” & as soon as he becomes a vampire in ep2 he kills the assessor (?) for calling him a “good negro”. lestat is a french white man he knows little about here other than this guy has more things than me & hes feeling up on lily while staring at me. i wanna be him , kill him, and REDACTED by him. it unnerved him bc lestat was likening him to lily in that moment of sexual tension. translating lestat’s sentence, snarking at him off the jump, then being mesmerized by him not to put my ship goggles on [for a canon ship ik lol] is a rly gr8 way to set up the lxl dynamic n how louis operates. show louis is someone with sum i deem interpersonal racial pride. he interacts with his particular black classed community of his era n shows a perfectly respectable face in the eyes of the black church, his baby sister w the tickets up the garvey line, but everybody know where that money come from& r perfectly fine eating off its benefits. louis strategizing to get ahead at the expense of the black ‘collective’ outside of his immediate network. claudia would be someone outside of that as a poor black girl. shes the type of girl louis couldve .. well. lets just say, the fact that louis saved claudia in the midst of the race riot n losing his family , their shared tie of being made immortal by lestat & decades of living with lestat brought this temporary show of solidarity in the murder plot btwn lou+clauds that otherwise may have not have been there had claudia & louis met in a diff situation n show potential to go a lot of places in parts of s2 when lestat is out the picture. anyways. louis is not a self loathing black man n he hates being the token, but he was hardly a paragon of racial solidarity in s1. n he was always aware that his privileges were extremely conditional & dependent on how much of himself he was able to comparmentalize in situations where he did not have the upper hand and had to put aside his pride. what better to set up a certain kind of person whod favor eternal life, than a suicidal bougie boule opportunist of a black gay man whos aspects of himself all existed on different bookshelves.. who had to lie about his family’s financial condition to them, who tries to maintain this double life even with newly bestowed immortality. hes not grovelling at tom or fenwick’s feet, he plays the game to stay afloat but despises having to smile in their face. thats why when hes a vampire & the laws r discriminating against him hes so much more transparent in showing how he feels about them. all that pentup aggression he felt as the only black man in those rooms is the fuel for why he gored fenwick& ripped up toms jaw. i think 1x01 louis was actually at a breaking point but 1x02-beginning of 1x03 b4 the vampire starvation shit louis was rly feeling himself when the dough was rolling in. he has the fairplay salloon, he has lestat, he can ‘control’ what white people have sexual access to. but all that crumbles…

[bitletsanddrabbles]

WIP Wednesday: And Now For Something Completely Different

Am I done with Downton Abbey? Hell no.

Am I done with Island of the Gays? See above.

I am, however, showing signs of burn out, so if I’m not careful, I might wind up done with them whether I want to be or not. (Spoiler: I don’t.)

So I’m taking a week off to start up a bit of ridiculousness for a new fandom. I highly doubt anyone will be interested, but my brain is currently chattering away like a whole flock of budgies - and more to the point, the idea of writing for it isn’t sending my stress level through the roof? - so it’ll be good for my sanity.

Hell, I may actually finish it. Who knows? Right now I sure don’t.

With luck once we get past Season and things slack off at work, I’ll start feeling better again and be able to multi task some of the things I want to finish back in, revise a few things, etc. For now, though, enjoy a couple of guys who are only related on paper playing chess and talking about things they’re not supposed to.

Yes, there are spoilers.

“Auguste, do you have a moment?”

Auguste paused. He’d been on his way out of the house, intent on doing some sketching of the Scottish architecture, but Philippe’s question brought him up short. Out of habit, they both spoke French. It was easier, when it was just the two of them, and if they happened upon a conversation they wanted to keep from the Scottish relations, it saved on trying to switch languages without looking suspicious. “Yes, Papa?”

His mother’s husband gave him a pained look from the door of the Morning Room. “I can see you’re going someplace, but could I possibly convince you to play chess instead? Your mother is off on one of her walks and I’m in danger of dying of boredom.”

“Alright, Papa.” It wasn’t a hard sell, really. While the weather was nice enough at the moment, you could never tell when it would start raining and he didn’t want his sketch book drenched. And he liked chess quite well.

Philippe gave a sigh of relief and the two of them took up their position at the board in front of the drawing room window.  Without asking, Philippe set up the board so that the white pieces were in front of him and the black ones sat in front of Auguste. Most of the family thought it was a matter of seniority, but the reality was that Auguste preferred that his opponent start the game. It gave him more of a sense of victory if he won to have started with a disadvantage.

While he waited for Philippe to make his first move, Auguste asked, “Maman has been taking ever so many walks this year. Do you think this means we’ll have another baby this winter?”

Philippe moved a pawn from in front of his rook. “Possibly. Heaven knows that man of hers seems to be quite lusty.”

Auguste thought he detected a bit of jealousy in Philippe’s voice, but he didn’t comment. The lustiness of other men was nothing that concerned him. “I suppose she’s a bit old, though, isn’t she?” Truth be told, he wasn’t certain how old his mother was, but he was aware that women did stop having children eventually. He selected a pawn at random and moved it. It was a risky opening, but it made the game interesting.

“Not for several years yet,” Phillipe frowned. “You know better than to ask a woman’s age.”

“From her,” Auguste countered.

Phillipe considered a bit, then shrugged acquiescence. “Fair point. But no, your mother is not so old that another child would surprise me.”

“I take it she hasn’t said anything about wanting another?”

“We don’t speak of such things.”

Auguste gave him a curious look. “Why not? You speak to me about it.”

“Auguste.” Philippe gave him a hard look and moved his knight in a positively menacing manner. “When one is a man in my station, there are things he does not do. One of them is to open other’s eyes. We speak about it because you are a sharp eyed boy who figured things out on your own, both that your mother was involved with someone else and that I knew about it. Also, you are not involved. Your mother may be aware I know or she may not. Either way, if we tell each other as much directly, we’ll have to acknowledge the situation. If we acknowledge the situation, then propriety will force me to proclaim you children illegitimate and get some of my own.” Despite his obvious attempts to conceal it, his mouth pinched in distaste. “I should properly divorce Elspeth and marry someone else, but I might be able to get around that, with care.” He met Auguste’s eye and said, quite firmly, “I do not want to do that. Your mother is a good wife for me, even if she does drag me to this odious country of tea and bad cheese once a year. And I care for you children. I do not care that you are Scottish through and through, you make as good an heir as anything I could produce on my own. And so Elspeth and I do not discuss the matter, you understand?”

Auguste thought about it a moment, moved another pawn, and nodded. “I understand, yes. Thinking on it, I suppose it should have been obvious.” Even though he had been raised in the aristocracy, there was a difference between being a child and being a man. At fifteen, he was slowly making the transition between the two, and was trying to do it with some grace, although he had mixed luck.

“You are learning,” Philippe assured him, his voice softening. “And it’s my job to teach you. So I will.”

Auguste couldn’t quite agree with that. He remembered the previous summer, when he had sneaked into Philippe’s private library and found one of Hugh’s novels on the shelf. He had been several chapters in, puzzling over why, precisely, someone would want another man tying him up like that, when Philippe had caught him. The older man had ascertained, with some obvious relief, that the book hadn’t been to Auguste’s taste, acquire some more socially acceptable reading material for him, the sort with lots of girls, and that had been that. There had been no need to say they would not speak of the incident again. In light of that, it seemed obvious that his mother’s love affair would be off limits, even with her husband. Still, he had no way of saying that without bringing up the other thing, so he moved on to other subjects. “Do you really think Fergus will marry that horrid English woman?”

“I hope not!” Philippe scoffed. “But he probably will. Such a horrid, common woman. I can’t imagine what Fergus sees in her. I know the family keeps me around for my wine and cigarettes, but what can they hope to get from her? They already have a good supply of fish.”

“I know what he sees in her,” Auguste replied promptly. While she was dreadfully annoying and undeniably ‘common’, it could not be denied that she was attractive. She showed enough cleavage to make certain the fact could not be missed. “She’s the sort to turn heads.”

Philippe looked dubious. “If you say so.”

Auguste didn’t really expect him to see her charms any more than he himself could see the appeal of a lusty man, so he let the subject drop. They had played through several moves in silence when the door opened and Cousin Constance entered the room. They paused the game, giving her matching inquisitive looks.

Constance looked around the room, frowning. Apparently not finding what she was looking for, she turned her attention to pair of them and asked, “Do you know where Angus is?”

Phillippe shrugged and shook his head.

Auguste didn’t respond, beyond moving his rook.

Obviously taking that as a ‘no’, Constance sighed and rolled her eyes. “Really, what does that man do all day?” Without a word of parting, she turned and showed herself out of the room.

Philippe gave Auguste a knowing look. “Do you know where Angus is?”

Without looking up from the board, Auguste replied, “He’s out in the Tennis Pavilion helping Hugh with his latest novel.”

“Oh.” To his credit, Philippe managed not to look too interested. “I wonder when this one will be out.”

Auguste simply shrugged and lost one of his pawns.

[gascon-en-exil]

But What If You Want to Come Out on Vers Bottom?: A “Coming Out on Top” Review (Part 1)

A review quoted on this game’s website describes it as “the Citizen Kane of ripped, naked big-dicked dudes in love.” Incredibly narrow superlative notwithstanding, that’s some high praise. Does Coming Out on Top earn it?

(I also solemnly swear not to make a relevant innuendo involving rosebuds, because there’s enough dirty wordplay here without my input.)

It’s been a bit unusual for me to return to CooT, having played it when it first released in late 2014 and then only on and off since then as the game was regularly updated. I believe it’s actually the first proper dating sim I ever played - no, Fire Emblem’s Avatar romances do not count as far as I’m concerned - and it set a very high bar for quality that has unfortunately never quite been surpassed by other (gay) titles in the genre.

This is perhaps all the more remarkable in that the premise here is not the most original thing in the world: Mark Matthews (you can change his name at the start, but I’ll be going with this default masterwork of blandness) has just come out of the closet to his two roommates Penny and Ian at the start of his final semester at university, and the story plays out from there as he meets, dates, and potentially falls in love with a wide assortment of men while also balancing his studies and his relationships with the aforementioned roommates who also double as his friend group. That’s...basically it, and apart from the romance plotlines the rest of the game’s content feels fairly extraneous. Mark can’t flunk out before the end of the story no matter how much you neglect his grades (although his job prospects in the ending will improve if you do work on them), and for the most part whatever money he amasses or friendship bonding moments he has during his free time on the weekends only plays into whether you get friendship endings with Penny and/or Ian. Unlike Chess of Blades survival is usually a given in CooT, and while there are quite a few death endings sprinkled throughout the game’s content almost all of them are played for laughs (and sometimes Steam achievements, because why not).

No, there are three major selling points here independent of the excuse plot. First and perhaps most noticeably, the writing never takes itself too seriously and incorporates everything from silly banter to fourth wall-breaking (refuse to come out at the start of the game, for an early example) to the sort of understated pun work that makes Dream Daddy’s script apparently living off corny dad jokes all the more egregious by comparison. There’s even a fair amount of self-aware meta humor, in a game released several years before the likes of Doki Doki Literature Club! made that par for the course for dating sims.

Then there’s the sheer diversity of options on display in terms of storylines and how certain scenarios play out, including the third point which is, well...the raw, uncensored gay sex. Despite the innuendo of CooT’s title Mark is not a total top, and most of the game’s myriad sex scenes can go down in a variety of different ways depending on what Mark/the player expresses a preference for - including situations involving various types of kinks. There’s also a very limited degree of body customization available; in the options menu there are toggles for Mark and all of his (primary) sexual partners that give you the option to add facial and/or body hair to their portraits and CGs. The hair options aren’t gamebreaking by any means - for Mark it only allows him to switch between twunk and otter, and while there is some diversity in race, age, and body type among his love interests and hookups there’s still a notable number of muscled 20-somethings. Still, I do appreciate that the toggles are there. You’ll notice my own preferences for the guys in my screenshots.

Back to that other kind of variety though. With six primary love interests and numerous divergent paths for each of them - some good, some bad, and some hilariously strange - there’s a ton of content to work through in CooT. The pathing is set up so that you get the opportunity to meet almost all of the love interests before you’re asked to commit to one of their stories, something the game heavily telegraphs so you’ll never feel like you’ve been unknowingly pushed past a point of no return. These introductions are generally on the SFW side, but there are two chances for some rauchy fun even before you commit so let it not be said that this game has strictly enforced monogamy at all times. On that note, there’s also Brofinder.

Penny comically missing the point aside, Brofinder is an in-universe Grindr equivalent. It can be accessed if you decline to pursue any of the love interests, or more conveniently from the main menu independent of the story. Fittingly for the type of app it’s lampooning, Brofinder dates are disconnected vignettes that all, if done correctly, end in some hot NSA action but impact nothing else after you’ve completed them. There are ten of these, all added via progressive updates following the game’s initial release, and taken together they add substantially to the many ways in which Mark can get laid.

I should also mention the secret seventh joke “love interest,” but as that one has become a bit of a minor meme and will probably come up if you Google blindly about this game I’ll leave it at that.

...Yeah. Leaving it right there.

There are some places where the presentation of CooT falters, but nothing on the scale of the dodgy voice acting found in some of the other gay dating sims I’ve discussed - mostly because there is no voice acting. Aside from the CGs and the character portraits the artwork can be rather workmanlike and forgettable, and similarly almost all of the soundtrack I would liken to elevator music which might have inspired one of the Brofinder dates now that I think about it. The supporting cast on the whole also doesn’t get much opportunity to shine aside from Mark’s roommates, because the love interests’ stories are all unrelated to each other and as such the people around them can only be involved in one of the game’s plots. I’m tempted to sum this all up as weak worldbuilding, but let’s be honest here - all this game needs is the suggestion of a generic American university and surrounding town peopled mostly with archetypes (at times comedically memorable ones, granted) to give it sufficient background. Most actual porn gets away with far less than that.

When I did my review of Chess of Blades I was able to discuss each of its love interests in a single follow-up post, but CooT simply has too much going on for that. Therefore this review will have three additional parts: two covering the six primary love interests, and a third going more quickly over the Brofinder dates. At time of writing I don’t think I’m also going to be grading the sex scenes of how realistic they are like I did with CoB, because there are too many of them and nothing sticks out as egregiously as it does in that game. There will however be as much description for them as I can manage; that is the main selling point here, after all.

[jonahsahn]

Starting Anew

I had Tumblr before.

It used to be a collection of things that interested me.

Anime, art, photography, porn, music, you naaaame it. 

My Tumblr interests were just as jumbled up as I am. And while there’s a uniqueness to that kind of mixed upness, I have come to learn that when it comes to digital marketing, or the selling of oneself as a “brand” on social media, the world seems to like flattened experiences. 

You see, I have been on social media since the beginning. I call myself a vintage millennial. No, I didn’t think of that myself. It’s actually the work of Jaboukie (Young-White (my future husband, but not really because he doesn’t fulfill the “half my age plus 9″ rule)). I have been on social media for a long time, and I have marketed myself as a mixed up person comprised of a whole bunch of different experiences. 

That doesn’t work. Especially not on my social media platform of choice: Youtube. 

My Youtube channel started off as a way for me to upload video that I had taken for my Sinfonia chapter’s Mills Music Missions; groups of guys going around to nursing homes and hospitals, singing songs for the bed ridden and down trodden. From there, I started using Youtube to watch Happyslip, a Filipinx comedian who got her break acting like her parents online. Then I started following LoveBScott; a gay androgynous man who told stories and gave advice from his apartment in West Hollywood. From there, I began doing my own vlogs about my experiences as a Black/ Asian person. 

I saw a lot of growth in the beginning. I was popular most among Filipinx people and Black Gay Queer men, a lot of whom were out online, but not in real life, a subset of the queer community which wasn’t uncommon in 2008, as a matter of fact. It was a prime time to use Youtube as a way to “escape” and I was an escape for a lot of people at first. 

But then, I started talking about being Gay; being part of the LGBTQ community, and instantly many of my Filipinx subscribers turned on me. I received comments from the same people, over and over again telling me that I could still turn back and “return to God” and that they were praying for me, and hoped that I would get right because they had watched my videos for so long. 

And I dug in further. I transformed my youtube channel into a place where Black Queer (Gay) men gathered on a weekly basis to talk about the issues of the day. Mind you, this was 4 months before The Read podcast by Kid Fury and Crissle. I was so into this idea that I even changed the name of the Youtube channel from “blasianFMA” to “Edugaytion.” A complete rebranding and including of my friends. 

Edugaytion had a good run and was the jumping off point for some really interesting things. Garrett McQueen, the host of Edugaytion, went on to work for radio stations around the South, and ended up making his way to American Public Media where he currently works as a host of not only a show, but also a podcast listened to millions of people, and I currently work on a Queer podcast called “This QPOC Life.” 

But what of those people from the Youtube days? The ones I haven’t mentioned? The ones who were my contemporaries, the ones who started around the same time I did, and we might not know each other (or maybe we do...)? 

Plenty of people who started Youtube at the same time that I did stuck to a path. They stuck to one point. They stayed in a lane. Some of those people are now Youtube celebrities; with millions of followers, or household names in certain communities. 

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, because I’m trying to figure out what happened with me. Why didn’t I make it big? What did I do wrong? Why don’t people latch on to me at as fast a rate as the people who were around me during the beginning? 

I think I know. 

I think it’s because I didn’t stay in a single lane. I changed the name of my channel. I changed the subject material. People who subscribed to me because I made a particular type of video would come back and then I’d be talking about or doing something completely different. One moment I’m reviewing the latest anime to live action adaptation, the next I’m talking about the struggles of being a Queer Person of Color in a largely White performing arts institution. One minute I’m talking about video games the next, I’m talking about HIV awareness. 

I get it. 

At this point it just seems like it’s far too late to even try to get things on one track. I’ve stepped away from Youtube. I’ve stepped back into it. I’ve taken breaks. I’ve done a video a day for a week. I can see the topics that gain the subscribers and the comments: They’re videos about mixed race people - but I don’t want to devote my channel to talking about one experience. I want  to review videos games, movies, talk about queerness, and a whole host of other things. I want to vlog, get things off my chest, ramble, share stories... But the diversity thing isn’t something that audiences want. 

This carries over into real life as well and is the reason why I’m able to arrive at the conclusion that I have regarding just youtube. 

All blasians know the feeling of not being enough of one or the other. I guess this whole youtube thing is just another byproduct of that. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of blasians who have made it by solely devoting their channels to talking about being Black and Korean, with emphasis on anything Korean, and there are youtubers who are blasian who have devoted their channels to just compiling grammatical errors and talking shit about how people can’t spell... and these people rack up millions of views and subscribers. 

I can’t do that. Not because I don’t have the ability, but because I don’t want to. I’m always evolving. I’m always learning something new, and I’m always trying a different thing.

The current thing is Film Making, which I will probably get into more in my next post because I’ve been typing too much already, and I’m behind on this script I’m writing. 

Anyway, I doubt anybody is reading this, but I’m glad I thought it through and put it out into the universe. 

xx blasianFMA 

[alabastermenagerie]

Actual Game Concept I Really Want To Make: Dogmen

You might have seen some of my artwork concerning Dogmen at various points, but I don’t post it very often because I have a bit of a problem: I don’t actually have the art style I want for this?

Okay so, Dogmen is a story I’ve had rolling around in my head for a while. It used to be called Blasphemer’s Prayer exclusively, but THAT particular story only ended up being one part of the whole (which is what it will be).

So now it will be a Visual Novel, largely because my main strength is in writing (as silly as that sounds) and because people tend to complain that Visual Novels don’t have consequential choices or multiple endings, this game is gonna have multiple endings. Probably three or four (Unless I can figure out branches for more)

It is also gonna be a cosmic horror game. Well, kinda.

See, I’ve come to realize recently that a lot of my FAVORITE narrative games have really fun-to-hang-out-with characters (Undertale, Night in the Woods). And I really prefer writing characters who are fun to be around anyway. And probably super gay for each other.

They’re just very prone to horrible demises you see.

ACTUAL PREMISE OF THE STORY BELOW THIS LINE

One day, approximately five percent of the world’s male population suddenly turn into what’s later dubbed “dogmen”. They have absolutely no memory of their past lives, and they are prone into turning into even MORE horrible beasts that have bloodthirst. They seem to be completely invincible in either form.

This ends up throwing the world into chaos. Not too much at first; initially it’s thought the military can subdue the problem. But it doesn’t work. The world gradually falls apart.

You do NOT play one of the hapless humans in this. You play dogmen.

Note: Despite the fact they are CALLED dogmen, they are not all dogs, or even wolves. The term is intended in-world as a pejorative.

Spencer (Primary character) - Kangaroo. Avoided the first few months of the strife due to being hidden away in his basement by his parents. Has a fear of hurting others, often remorseful, but has a strong yearning to fix the world, somehow.

Arthur - Striped Hyena. Strongest of the group by nature, often crude, fell in love with a human girl and never had the chance to see her again. Has a hyena cackle, hates being made powerless.

Lance - Coyote. Was likely an old man before the change, has lots of wisdom and random knowledge from a life he doesn’t remember living. Likes to smoke, is often very quiet and would rather avoid conflict than anything.

Weasel - Weasel. He doesn’t have a name from a past life or anything so everyone just calls him Weasel. He’s the smallest of the group, excitable, and unusually optimistic given the circumstances.

Terrible, terrible things are going to happen to all of them.

Beyond this even stranger things happen than just men turning into beasts, some things only perceptible to the Dogmen, like The Machine, just barely in view to be nearly transparent, which covers the whole sky. Or the droning of the Other Place which can still be heard when they sleep, or the black ghosts which seem to take a keen interest when they transform.

Of course, sometimes the worst demons don’t come from the outside.

How BIG would this game be? The most recent treatment I came up with covers the entire story: a prologue and four chapters. However, given there are multiple paths, there will be entirely different stories when you get to chapter 3 depending on what you could do to finish the second chapter.

Each of the chapters could themselves be fairly lengthy. I originally wrote Blasphemer’s Prayer, which in this game would be one of the chapter 3 branches, for NaNoWriMo and still figure on having roughly the same plot. It will probably not be novel-length in the game, but each section should easily be the comparative size of a novella.

How much GAME would be in this game? I’m not certain at the moment; for now, I still largely expect it to be narrative-driven rather than something like being puzzle-driven on the side (w/instead maybe some light puzzle elements like Night in the Woods when the situation calls for it).

However, I DO know that people love their secrets, and they want to dig into games to find something everyone else missed. I think it should have secrets, probably BIG secrets.

Anyway I wrote all of that to tell you I don’t have the total skillset I would need to make the game I have in my head. Being an artist I do understand the difference between having a concept in your head and realizing it on the page are different things, but in this case I do have deficiencies I’d eventually need to overcome, such as:

Not being able to draw humans very well

Skewing toward cute art style more than effectively scary (not strictly a weakness, as I think mixing the two can create great effect, but I do still need More Scary for contrast)

Music (Especially wanting a cover of Ordinary World, or at least a very comparable song) and sound effects

Programming of other things

The fact this game would probably require a LOT of environments I wouldn’t be able to do all on my own

And, of course, testing

The primary thing I can do is write, and I am at least a competent enough artist I can still probably sell most of it. I might end up having to try and do as much of this as I can anyway; there’s ways around the other issues (such as free and royalty-free music, but I do believe having a composer would be really nice for everyone)

It’s currently still all in the planning stages (I have a novel to write, after all!) but this is the current shape of the project and I think, despite its potential size, it could actually be something I can do.

[9r7g5h]

The Huntress and the Sphinx, by Ru Emerson

No one is braver or faster than the legendary huntress, Atalanta. Or so she says. And when Xena and Gabrielle are asked to rescue a group of kidnapped children, Atalanta is the first to volunteer. After all, she is the only one who could possibly be strong enough to succeed. 

But when they find the kidnapper, Xena realizes that o one is strong enough to defeat it. For who can challenge the power and knowledge of the almighty Sphinx?

The second book in the original quartet, it picks back up a few weeks after the first one’s ended, with Xena and Gabrielle arriving in Athens to watch the Women’s Footraces that were discussed at the end of the book. Overall, I would give this book an A-/A. The plot was a lot more coherent then the last one, and between most of the main characters, we got some great characterization, especially with Xena on her thoughts on Gabrielle. However, as I will discuss below the cut, the way they treated one character in particular and the book’s refusal to actually give any details about a certain event could knock it down a peg or two for some readers.

Once again, there will be spoilers all over the place in this review. If you don’t want the entire plot spoiled, then stop it. Right now. This plot is actually a lot more involved then the last one, so the plot summary’s going to be a lot longer. 

Ok, so. Like I said, the plot begins with Xena and Gabrielle having arrived in Athens to watch the Women’s Footraces. Specifically, so Gabrielle can watch Atalanta run. She’s apparently been a huge fan all her life, and this is finally her chance to see her dream race come true. Right off the bat, though, we know Xena hates her. We’re not told why Xena hates Atalanta, but she does. While she doesn’t say specifically to Gabrielle that she hates her, she makes it very, very clear. 

Anyway, the girls are lost, and while Xena stops to ask for directions, Gabrielle accidentally wanders into a bad part of town, where she’s immediately accosted by a group of drunkards. She holds her own with her staff until Xena gets there and runs them off. Side note, this is the first time in the book series we actually see Gabrielle fight someone. The two of them make it to the races, and along the way they run into Homer! He asks if he can join them for the day, and they agree. Once they arrive, Xena is almost immediately pick pocketed by a young boy, who she agrees to pay a few coppers to if he keeps himself and his friends away from her and the others. He agrees, and disappears into the crowd. Remember him, because I’m telling you right now, he’s important later on. 

They get there early, and actually get to meet this one young runner, Nausicaa, and her friend Mitradia. Nausicaa is a blind princess, and Mitradia is her guide. Together the two of them are able to run races, with Mitradia leading Nausicaa with a rope. After their run, Gabrielle decides to go for a walk while the next race is being set up and actually runs into this guard yelling at a young woman. Gabrielle steps in, and it turns out the woman is Arachne, who’s come to give Atalanta a scarf she made. The guard is a man trying to force her to marry him, and is trying to force her to sell the scarf instead. 

Gabrielle gets involved, smacks down the guard, and he runs off. Gabrielle invites Arachne to come sit with her, Xena, and Homer, and she accepts. Meanwhile, Homer actually gets caught up again and continues to talk to Nausicaa and Mitradia, telling them stories of Odysseus, who Nausicaa has a huge crush on (her father was friends with him when they were young, and so has told her all these stories about their exploits. She thinks of Odysseus as a young man still, instead of an old king). When Nausicaa’s elderly maid demands they come sit with her, Homer goes with them to keep telling stories. 

Finally it’s the adult woman races, and Gabrielle gets to fulfill her dream of seeing Atalanta run. The day continues on like this, switching between child and adult runners, until the final race happens. While Atalanta is running and everyone’s watching, a group of men show up and kidnap six girls, two of which are Nausicaa and Mitradia. Atalanta immediately goes after them, Xena hot on her heels, and Gabrielle follows on Argo after getting some information. However, she’s also forced to bring Homer, because Nausicaa and Mitradia’s maid claims that he’s part of the kidnapping. 

From here the plot gets pretty simple, now that everything’s been set up. Atalanta tracks, Xena follows after her, the tracks get lost, Atalanta has to spend some time refinding them, and then they continue on. Gabrielle and Homer eventually catch up, and while they wait for Atalanta to find the tracks each time, they tell each other various riddles. They’ve been telling each other riddles the entire book, but it finally becomes important, because it turns out the girls were, originally, never in any danger. Because Atalanta had them kidnapped. 

Yep. Atalanta, who’s super insecure and actually has an eating disorder, apparently goes around and ropes her two fathers into setting up “trial” for her to complete, since she believes she could never be a true hero even after doing truly heroic things. She needs more fame, more glory, and doesn’t care how she gets it. Anyway, the plan was for her fathers (she does have two, a couple who were together for 35 years, who found her in the forest and raised her as their own. Casual gay couple adopting foundlings for the win) to leave the girls in a cave on the mountain and Atalanta to save them. No one’s hurt, and everything’s good. 

However, the group was found by the Sphinx and her men, and hearing Atalanta was on her way, the Sphinx killed one of her fathers and kidnapped the girls, saying that if she wanted them alive, Atalanta would have to beat her riddles. 

Of course, Xena immediately turns on Atalanta after finding out she set this all up, removes her weapons, and forces her and her father to start going towards he Sphinx, because they’re going to get the girls back, “no matter the cost to yourself.” They hike on up, and meet the Sphinx’s guards, who are two people from Xena and Gabrielle’s past. 

The first is the Cyclops we see in season 1, episode 1. The blind one. Well, his name is actually Flyer, and after Gabrielle (or “the chatty food”) runs off, he decides to enter himself into the service of the Sphinx. The other person is an almost bard named Mannius, who Xena was “quite fond of” during her warlording days, before she was kicked out of her own army. Side note, bard kink confirmed. Anyway, they talk, and Mannius revealed that he’s gotten Flyer to stop eating humans. The Sphinx, however, is no where near as advanced as Flyer’s gotten, and will eat them all the moment the riddle’s failed. Mannius and Xena chat for a while, and part with a kiss. 

The group continues on after them, and eventually find the Sphinx- who’s huge. And immortal. No way will Xena be able to fight her. While Xena’s talking to Atalanta and her father about what they’re going to do, Gabrielle, in all her wisdom, goes up to the Sphinx and challenges her herself, pointing out that a runner would be awful at riddles, but two incredibly talented, famous, and well known around the world bards? They’ve be a great sport. 

And offers herself to be eaten if she fails. 

Homer goes too. Sphinx immediately has a crush. It gets weird. 

So basically a challenge is set up for the next morning. The Sphinx will give three riddles, Gabrielle and Homer will give three riddles, and if they win, they get the girls and get to keep their lives. However, if the Sphinx wins, then she gets to eat one of them, and the other runs off to tell stories of how amazing the Sphinx is. 

It’s quickly very clear that Gab’s is getting eaten if they lose. Something Xena is NOT pleased about when she hears about this deal, but it’s too late, so they have to deal. 

So now, Gabrielle and Homer start thinking about riddles to ask, and they realize the Sphinx is pretty sheltered, and can use that to their advantage with their riddles. Xena, meanwhile, gets caught up in two different events. The first is a former soldier of hers who she maimed and almost killed many years ago. He wants revenge. Xena fights him with one arm tied behind her back, wins, and he’s sent scurrying. The other events is an in depth discussion with Atalanta about her eating disorder, her fear of being fat, and how she’s probably going to die soon if she doesn’t start taking care of herself. 

Xena, who also’s been claiming this entire book that she’s no good at riddle (surprise, Xena’s actually very good at riddles, if she’s given a moment or two to think), gives Homer and Gabrielle their final riddle, one that will be sure to stump the Sphinx. 

The next morning, Gabrielle and Homer go off to challenge the Sphinx, and Xena and Atalanta and Atalanta’s father go to kidnap the girls back. Just in case. Gabrielle and Homer go back and forward with the Sphinx, asking more and more difficult riddles, while Atalanta (because Xena ‘disappears’ aka she hides two feet away in case Atalanta needs help but doesn’t get involved) saves the girls from their captors all by herself, proving that she can, in fact, be a hero. 

The final riddle, given by Gabrielle and Homer, is about Troy. Realizing that the Sphinx is so sheltered she wouldn’t have heard about the war, they defeat her at her own game, and because they made a sacred vow (and because Homer kept flirting with her), she lets them all go. 

They get back to the city, deliver the children, and Atalanta decides she needs to go out into the world on her own and find real people to help. Remember Arachne? She finally gets to give Atalanta her scarf, and the two part as friends. Xena and Atalanta part on decent terms as well, and Gabrielle and Homer say their own goodbyes. This book ends with Xena and Gabrielle going to get some food. 

Except there is an epilogue that starts up a year later, where Nausicaa finally get to meet her crush. As he comes out of the ocean, naked, while she and her friends are hanging out on the beach.  

A lot more in depth, coherent plot this time. It was honestly more enjoyable for me to read this book then the last, because everything meshed really well. We got action, a good amount of characterization for everyone, got to see Gabrielle actually in charge once and Xena trusting her to not get them all killed, and it was just very well done overall, I feel. However, I do want to talk about Atalanta. 

Sadly, it seemed as if Atalanta fell into the “mean girl” trope. The only reason she was anything resembling nice to Gabrielle and Homer was because A) Xena threatened her multiple times to be nice to Gabrielle (Homer was thrown in as an after thought once) and B) because they were bards who could tell bad stories about her. She was greedy af, always wanting more and more, and because of that, six girls were traumatized and one of her fathers was killed. And she kept playing the “oh, my life has been so hard from the very beginning, no one’s ever had it harder then me in all the history of mankind, I’m just trying to climb my way up in the world.” 

To which I say “boo fucking hoo.” Something Gabrielle also says, just much nicer then I did. 

It takes her saving the girls for her to realize “wow, I could actually help people without being the reason they’re in danger in the first place.” Which, considering she’s supposed to be this great hero, is just really annoying. Overall, that’s kind of how she was. She was an interesting character, but I just felt like she was poorly done. The writer could have done a ton of other things with her, taken her in many different directions, and the fact that she’s the way she is just...meh. 

There’s also the fact that this book LOVED to tease us with what happened the last time Xena and Atalanta met. Over and over and over again, we’re told that something went down that made these two women absolutely hate each other with a passion never before seen. Like, it’s a hatred that runs deep. If Gabrielle hadn’t been such a fan, Xena would have avoided Atalanta like the plague. Or killed her, one of the two. But then they never tell us what happened. Never. At all. It’s incredibly annoying, waiting for this big reveal of why these two hate each other, and nothing comes from it. It might in a future book, and I’ll let you know if it does, but just for now, the constant fighting between the two seems to have no purpose. It’s just there. 

So again, while overall the book is an A-/A, because the plot was much better and we did get some really cute scenes, like more of the friendship between Gabrielle and Homer, some bonding time between Xena and Homer over how much they both care for Gabrielle, some more about Xena’s past, and Atalanta does go through quite a bit of character development, it could have been better. 

Still really worth a read, especially if you like a ton of really creative riddles and an interesting look at Athens and its place in the Xena universe. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #50

“i did my time, and i want out.”

where is your dad from?   michigan where is your mom from?   new york what're you listening to?   "psychosocial" by slipknot when you put on makeup, what do you usually use?   if i'm being lazy, just eyeliner.  if i'm being more fancy, black eye shadow and black lipstick. do you enjoy teaching people, particularly about subjects or skills you are passionate about?   HELL YES has your anxiety alone ever prevented you from doing something you wanted to do?   that's like... a daily occurrence. do you enjoy reading stories and novels that are heavily stylistic, poetic, or unconventional or do you prefer your prose to follow a familiar grammatical structure?   the first, by FAR.  extend my vocabulary for one, but more importantly, just make shit poetic-sounding.  be as descriptive as possible. what do you think matters more: individual happiness and satisfaction or entire group benefit? can you give an example for your rationale?   i mean... i guess i believe in a balance.  make sacrifices to benefit the group, but be considerate of everyone else's opinions, too. does media rhetoric about millennials tend to get it way wrong or do you find some of the criticisms and observations about this generation to be fair?   both, really. do you tend to read reviews before you watch a movie or read a book? what do you hope to get out of doing so?   nope.  i tend to find reviews to be SO overly-critical. do you find that visiting certain websites can put you in a bad mood? have you ever taken a break from a website?   not really. when you go to a concert, how far must you travel for the most usual venues you visit?   i've only ever been to one concert, but most in nc happen in raleigh or charlotte.  i'm pretty sure alice cooper was in raleigh... and that's an hour away.  charlotte, i'm not sure how far away it is. if you feel that a friendship or new relationship is not going to work out, how do you handle that situation? do you allow it to continue in hopes of improvement or do you have any strategies on how to make it end?   wait until it improves or, more accurately, work to improve it.  i, generally, don't support ending any kind of relationship unless it is TRULY necessary. what is a personality trait you possess that you consider to be negative and positive (ex. you are a good judge of people but sometimes you judge others too quickly)?   idk... tough question. what was the last sporting event you watched? who were you rooting for and who ended up winning?   probably a hockey game with dad.  i was rooting for the hurricanes, but i don't believe they won that game. have you ever created a fake internet persona for yourself?   nope. what was going on in your life at this time last year? would you rather your current life be as it is right now or as it was then?   i was the same, pathetic mess.  i was grieving over jason, but i guess more heavily than i am now, so i assume i'd rather be how i am now? how similar is your current life to what you once imagined it would be at this moment (e.g., "i never imagined that i would have children at this age, but here i am!")?   i... didn't imagine myself like this at all.  i thought i'd be in a steady relationship, if not engaged.  i thought i'd be living on my own.  i believed i'd have my diseases under control.  i assumed i'd have a happy job.  i guessed i wouldn't be failing my college courses.  i... pictured it very differently. in any of your areas of interest, is there a certain theory, viewpoint, or scholar that you tend to disagree with, even if it is popular among others? if no fields of interest come to mind, is there a line of advice that you disagree with, but is popular with others?   ummmm... i'm not sure.  i mean, i guess in interest of good mythical morning, i actually like how the weekend episodes focus on mike and alex. what is something that you feel is lacking in your life? are you working to achieve this or is it something that's more up to happenstance?   i want... friends.  if not someone more.  i mean i only have one, maybe two people, who really act like my friends.  and she's always busy.  i'm ALWAYS on my own, and despite being an introvert... i've had enough alone time to last my ENTIRE life.  being alone is like an abyss to me now; depression, anxiety, every negative emotion just fully envelops me.  it's terrible.  i miss jason so much, guys.  we talked every day.  i practically lived with him.  he was just... such a pillar to me, he kept me upright, and then he just vanished.  he was my everything. is it easy for you to get stuck in prolonged bouts of sadness or do you tend to bounce back very quickly?   i have clinical depression.  guess. do you enjoy going to weddings or showers? what is it that you like or dislike about them?   i have such mixed emotions about them now.  like when i was in ashley's and megan's... i just think of jason.  that was supposed to be us.  so basically, it's a ptsd trigger, yet i nevertheless find them absolutely holy and beautiful. think about your favorite thing to do. how easily would you be able to cope if you were physically non longer able to do that thing, or had to dramatically cut down on time spent doing it? what would you do instead?   my favorite thing to do is take photographs.  i... wouldn't be able to cope without it.  it is the ONE THING i do that still brings me joy.  i don't know what i'd do. what do you predict will happen to humanity in the future, with the imminence of global warming's destruction of the planet? e.g., there's no hope or we will leave the planet, etc.   i personally think a different catastrophe will occur before global warming kills us. is there a person in your life whom you support by showing up for the sports games, concerts, or other performances?   not anymore.  i used to go to some magic games with jason, 'cuz that was his passion, but they always tampered with my anxiety, so. when you revisit some of your old favorites, whether music, films, or something else are you ever surprised at how much you dislike it now?   yep. what does your favorite shirt look like?   uh.  idk. what kind of underwear do you prefer wearing?   bikini, though i'm fat so i really shouldn't wear them. what are your favorite kind of jeans?   skinny how many video games do you have?   *cackles maniacally* how many does your dining room/kitchen table seat?   we don't have a dining room table anymore.  we had to sell it for the money. what kind of cookie do you like best?   just chocolate chip do you get the meat from the deli?   sometimes do you own a bike/scooter/skateboard/etc.?   no, but i need one.  i have GOT to lose weight. ever played on a sports team?   yeah, i've done soccer, basketball, baseball, cheerleading, and dance. are you listening to any music?   yeah.  "now that we're dead" by metallica \m/ why did you take the last pill you took?   it's for depression are you happy with your looks?   honestly i think i would be if i was way skinnier. which was worst for you: freshman year of high school or of college?   FUCK my freshman year of college.  absolutely awful. do you prefer your men/women to have light hair or dark hair?   dark. do you wish someone would call or text you right now?   i'm constantly waiting for a call or text from jason, honestly.  idk if he still has my number. who was the last person you laid in a bed with?   colleen has a girl ever stayed up with you all night? a guy?   girl, i don't think so.  guy, yeah.  it wasn't exactly uncommon that jason and i would be up all night fooling around, being dumb kids. the last person you kissed treat you right?   more than that.  he just didn't support me as well as he should've, so... who is someone who puts up with you no matter what?   mom do you have trust issues?   happens when you're constantly fucked over. if you could find one long lost friend of the past, who would it be?   i guess mini is now considered a "long lost friend of the past." :/  i miss her so much.  she was like my sister.  she never talks to me anymore. when was the last time you colored with crayons?   at the hospital do you sunburn easily?   too easily what’s your favorite filling in chocolates?   peanut butter omg what breed of dog do you find the most annoying?   the stereotypical chihuahua.  very yappy. what would you name your first born son?   either vincent or luther. what is the most you have ever weighed?   what i weigh now, which i'm really not comfortable sharing. girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon?   i'm not sure, but i was SO scared.  i was afraid of putting in the "wrong hole"??? would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival?   no.  honestly, i just don't feel strongly enough about the issue to do it.  i should, though. have you ever had sex?   oral sex, yeah, never actual, penetration sex. do you like oral sex?   ha ha speak of the devil.  i like receiving it, but i don't like giving it, as the whole concept is just really gross to me.  i don't care how often you clean, it's just very gross.  thus, i don't like to receive it because i don't reciprocate. do you think guys look good with make up?   sometimes. have you ever pierced yourself?   no, and i never would.  i care too much about my piercings being clean and accurate. did you ever have a retainer?   i have a metal one behind my bottom teeth, and the typical plastic one is... somewhere, lost in the abyss.  i don't wear it. were you/are you popular in school?   hell no.  pretty sure everyone thought i was weird. have you ever 69'ed?   back at it with the oral sex, jesus.  anyway, no. are you a wrestling fan?   ugh, no.  jason was into it, and i've no idea why??  like, wrestling just seemed so far out of his aesthetic??  but he would watch it sometimes while gaming, and i'd have to drown it out. do you/did you like high school?   overall?  best time of my life. how long would you wait to become sexually active with someone you're dating?   i'm waiting until marriage; i, in general, think you should start pondering marriage maybe like, three years in?  so i guess that. when did you last make up a baby's bottle?   never.  really should learn these things before i have kids... ever been addicted to a video/computer game? which one?   lmaoooo world of warcraft, bro. what’s something you should throw away, but can’t? what value does it hold to you? explain.   i should reeeaaally stop holding onto the picture from jason's and my first prom.  it's framed and all.  it just... means too much to me. do you enjoy a good debate or prefer keeping the peace?   I!!  AM!!  TERRIFIED!!  OF!!  CONFRONTATION!!!!!! where did you last stay overnight other than your house?   i stayed two nights at colleen's a couple days back. can you ever see yourself and your ex back together?   realistically, yes.  i just KNOW i'd have major trust issues for a while, however. who is the funniest person you know?   girt what would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed?   that's kinda like my ultimate life goal, soooo...? are you going to any concerts or festivals this summer?   i WISH. :(  i particularly wanna go to carolina rebellion. when was the last time you went to the movie theaters? what movie did you see?   colleen, chelsea, and i saw "trolls" for a buck.  it was SO cute. did you ever go to a mental hospital?   oh, y'know, only four or five times now. are you a person that enjoys re-reading books?   no.  i've only ever re-read "because of winn-dixie." what do you think of country music?   UGH.  it's just not aesthetically pleasing to me, but it's also SO predictable and the singers whine about the same shit. when you apply your make-up, do you do it in a specific order?   yeah.  eyeliner, eye shadow, mascara, lipstick. do you like a partner who is clean cut or rugged?   a mix of both? new tats in your near future?   fuck yeah, man!  i'm starting a half-sleeve on my birthday! how about piercings or re-piercings?   mom said i can also get my lip re-pierced for my birthday. (: do converse look/feel uncomfortable to you?   not at all.  love them bitches.

[brentchampagne]

Ranking BB3 Houseguests -- The Season of Principles

From worst to best, I’m going to share my opinions with a small disclaimer: all my opinions are based on information from the edit and what information I can find online. Also, they’re just opinions and even though I think they’re likely right, you guys can have different ones.

I dubbed this season as such because I found a theme in the dichotomy of what’s moral and immoral and the way it’s presented throughout the season.  Most of the people on this list went down with their ethics, some went down selling out their good graces, but everyone’s choices in that concern paved the course of the game -- and it certainly impacted the outcome.

12. Lori Olson 

I mean, come on.  Lori started a fight with almost the whole house because people were rightfully upset about Gerry not washing his hands after using the bathroom.  She got Danielle to confront Gerry about it and even he wasn’t that upset.  Then, post eviction, she says she would only part with 50k of the prize money to play again.  She was out of touch and emotional, and if the house had decided to evict Amy that week instead, Lori likely wouldn’t have lasted much longer.

11. Tonya Paoni

She couldn’t drop the nice subservient housewife exterior for a second, not even during her confrontation with Amy in which she still couldn’t drop the welcoming smile.  I grew up in a community filled with women just like her.  They usually don’t have a strategic bone in their body, and Tonya certainly didn’t give me any inclination that she was any kind of savvy.

10. Josh Feinberg

Josh couldn’t stop being annoying for a minute, and a lot of houseguests hated him for it.  I thought his sympathy segment was a waste of time, especially because I got the vibe he wasn’t well-liked outside of the game either.  He strategized, but he wasn’t particularly good at putting things into terms that benefited whoever he was giving a pitch, so it seemed like he just expected people to play for him without really having the reflective capabilities to realize it.  I guess he gets some points for being a blatant scumbag in a season where everyone prized themselves on their morality, but realistically he’s no where near Lisa and Danielle levels.

Also, if it speaks for anything, I originally forgot to put him on this list.

9. Eric Ouellette

Eric sacrificed his game to have a passionate affair with Lisa, but where she eventually remembered what she was playing for, he didn’t and was evicted for it.  You have to be pretty low on the list of best gameplay if you’re in a showmance alliance and you go out fourth.  To top off his disappointing game, Eric and Lisa’s relationship clearly didn’t amount to much.

At least he was nice to look at, not much else of interest to say about him.

8. Chiara Berti

She didn’t do much but talk about sex and rub people the wrong way (pun intended).  I really go back and forth between putting Chiara lower.  In her attempt to get rid of Josh, she put her showmance on the block with him because she didn’t want him to be a vote for Josh to stay.  That’s solid logic at its core, but out of the pool of other possible nominees, there were probably other people who were shaky on sending him out, and if there really weren’t, then one vote for him to stay isn’t going to matter.  I have to think this decision played a part in cracking her relationship with Roddy, but the nuances of their romance in the edit was a bit vague anyway so I don’t know how real it was to begin with. 

She was evicted the week after her shit-show of an HoH during a petty squabble with Amy and, to her merit and for reasons in which I’m still unclear, the entire house was sobbing, so I guess her social game was pretty good.

7. Gerry Lancaster 

I have to give sympathy points to older people who don’t go out early.  I also have to give points because Gerry was not only the first ever veto winner, but also the first ever to win veto more than once.  However, he cannot be ranked higher because his game motives tended to be cryptic, weird, and a little self-important.

Also, he failed to recognize how uncomfortable he made the other houseguests.  Someone who lacks so much self-awareness generally isn’t a real contender for the win.

6. Marcellas Reynolds 

I think the general synthesis of Marcellas’ game tends to be unfair. He actually had a good read on the house and somehow maneuvered his way through the game after being the week one target.  His biggest downfall was trying to marry his game with his real life morality.  He put his closest ally Amy on the block during his second HoH, and while she didn’t go, he never seemed to grasp how dangerous that could have been for him.

Okay, people give him shit for not using the veto to save himself, but given it was the veto’s first season and the rules behind it weren’t consistent throughout the whole game, I have to give him a bit of reprieve.  It really seemed like the cast as a whole didn’t understand the gravity of the veto itself, and veto culture has definitely changed since 2002.  Of course it was a dumb move, but it was consistent with the way Marcellas had been playing, and prior to that moment no one had made the example as to why you don’t do that.

On top of this, I have to give him points for being one of the few inoffensive gay men to be cast on the show.  Isn’t that sad?

5. Roddy Mancuso

Roddy’s game took a bit of a nosedive towards the end, but his longevity in a house that seemed to be anti-showmance (and on top of that, being at odds with Danielle the whole time) speaks volumes about him.  Houseguests often talked about his persuasive capabilities being the reason for him to stay, but we saw many segments where his unending knowledge and charisma skills actually made a lot of the houseguests feel isolated.  He could have taken home the win if he used those tactics to bolster his relationships with people by talking about things they cared about, but hey, when can we ever expect a straight white guy  to talk about other people’s interests.  So while he definitely had the tools to pull off an amazing social game, he did not use them to his full advantage, and he certainly did not seem the least bit interested in using them to take out the people targeting him.

Also ??? maybe don’t tell the girl you’re on the block with that you can’t vote to keep her if she uses the veto to save you...

4. Amy Crews

It seemed like Amy was beat to the ground every week.  She annoyed most of the houseguests and drank a lot, but she stuck to her guns and handled every nomination with the utmost serenity and grace -- even when Marcellas, her closest ally, nominated her for extremely personal reasons.  Her social game was equally a mess and a masterpiece, and she made a lot of personal game moves instead of logical ones, but she fought like hell to be there and managed to stick around even as a returning houseguest -- a feat a lot of buyback winners cannot boast.

I gave her points for never allowing people to control her -- namely, her drinking habits.  Everyone’s overwhelming need to do that annoyed the ever-loving shit out of me (looking at you Marcellas).

3. Jason Guy

Jason was a very genuine guy, and he was able to use it to his advantage because genuine Jason was sweet, caring, and virtuous, so a lot of houseguests thought he wasn’t capable of scheming even when he was.  However, his disposition meant he was easily trusting.  After being pulled in different ways for much of the game, he ultimately doubled down against Roddy.  Roddy’s utter ineptitude at getting out his adversaries meant Jason stayed safe, but I have to wonder if Roddy would’ve put Jason on the block with Danielle if he had the chance.  It all worked out in the end, but I have to dock points for what I feel was a glaring mistake.  Some people argue he was the true deserving winner of bb3 -- and he would’ve been a good one -- but he did not have the backbone to make a lot of necessary moves, and I believe he may not have gone as far as he did if certain people weren’t in the game.

But aww, I can’t be too critical of him because he is so adorable (and damn boy, continue to work your angles).

2. Lisa Donahue

Lisa won.  That should be enough said, but while her game was almost perfect, she definitely dipped a bit along the way.  The showmances this season seemed to be more concerned with feeling each other up instead of being the huge threats they normally are, and so I have to dock points for her relationship with Eric -- especially since it almost did her in.  After he left, though, she buckled down and slipped between the cracks, saving face with a lot of her former allies (Chiara, Roddy) and then stabbing them in the back when she needed.

And she definitely gets points for somehow making Jason believe she was less of a threat to win the game than Amy who a) had been rubbing people the wrong way all summer and b) was already on her second chance.

1. Danielle Reyes

Surprising a grand total of no one, Danielle gets the top spot.  How could she not?  Her robbery literally changed the make up of the game itself with next season’s addition of the jury.  While the game unfolded in front of her, she gathered allies during any given fallout as if trying to build the endgame in her own image.  She made her targets known but didn’t try to strong-arm anyone else’s decisions, which seemed to reinforce people’s trust in her.  Most impressively, people recognized the influence she had in the game and how big of a threat she was, but they never put her on the block, cementing her at the top of a list of players spanning two decades.

Unfortunately, I don’t believe she would’ve won even with a sequestered jury.  She made a lot of blatant, cutthroat moves in the house that made people regret trusting her, and I don’t think just keeping her DR sessions from the other houseguests would’ve changed that.

Season Overall:

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, and I don’t know if it’s just because current seasons feel a lot more different, but the set-up was not my favorite.  It was clear production was still working out a lot of kinks with the addition of the veto, but a lot of the competitions were outright boring and lacked a lot of ingenuity (the slip and slide comp) and the veto rules were inconsistent which bothered me.  Praise be to production for casting a solid group of people because without their stellar dynamic I think this season could have been super bleak.