#in a town wed never been to with ?? a single uber driver in the whole city??

[homestuck--edits]

ok ok so this may be too complicated sorry if thats the case, but could you do a pesterquest edit of eridan in traditional polish dress? ill submit a cool reference i found but you can simplify and change the colours

thanks in advance!

here ya go!

-mod davesprite

[liquor-and-intellect]

Tis the Damn Season/Dorothea HS AU

I realized I haven’t posted on here in awhile but I couldn’t get this story out of my head. I don’t know if I have anyone who sees my posts anymore, but I hope you like it. Let me know if there should be a part 2.

Inspired by Tis the Damn Season and Dorothea by Taylor Swift. 

Dorothea Riley—or Thea, which she insisted on being called— watched as her breath created a thin film of fog across the window of her Uber. It’s almost like she didn’t want to see the familiar road signs that reminded her she was arriving in her hometown. Sometimes the nostalgia felt too much—too thick in the back of her throat, too heavy on her chest. It reminded her that it had been a full year since she had returned home. One official dizzying trip around the sun since the last time she’d stepped off the plane in that small terminal outside of Tupelo. A year since she’d seen him.

After the driver took the exit off the highway, it was not long before Thea was emerging from the car, boots crunching on the fresh snow as she ascended the stairs that led to her childhood home. The cold wrapped itself around her and bit at her exposed neck but never penetrating the warmth of her luxurious coat.

It stood frozen in time, just like the whole town. The familiarity now creating comfort in her where it had once felt like the bony fingers of suffocation. From the minute she became aware that she wanted to pursue a career in acting, the walls of this town seemed to slowly close in on her. Thea knew she would never land her dream role if she stayed here. Everyone who was successful had to make their own sacrifices—and leaving her hometown and the ones she loved behind, was hers.

Her high school self had felt too big for these streets. She dreamed of bustling cars, the rush of a new city and a fast-paced life. She partly blamed her mother for this. She had used Thea as her little dress up doll for most of her childhood. Even when Thea didn’t want to be a pageant queen, her mother said to stick her chin up and smile. And before she knew it the flash of camera lights from a stage became intoxicatingly addicting. So, she had walked across the creaky stage in the worn-down gymnasium, got her high school diploma, and promptly packed her bags to drive her small Toyota Corolla to L.A. In between acting classes, she’d be offered a role in a fast-paced, high-budget, sci-fi movie and the next four years would become all business with little time to return home or answer phone calls from the people she had left behind.

“Mama,” Thea breathed, letting the stifled southern accent of Mississippi slip into that single word. Her mother’s grin was a breath of fresh air, all white teeth and thinned lips, smile lines at the edges of her eyes. Her hair had more silver in it than the last time she’d seen her, although she thought that it suited her warm complexion.

Her mother pulled her into a warm embrace, nose buried in her dark hair. “It’s so good to have you home, Dorothea.”

The smell of Christmas pine and cookies filled her nose as she joined her parents for dinner. Her dad grunted and nodded while her mother filled her in on all the small-town gossip. It wasn’t unusual in a town like this for a quick trip to the grocery store to become equivalent to logging into Facebook. Her mother knew the status of everyone’s relationship, divorce and child-raising failures.  

“Oh,” her mother said as if she had almost forgot. “The Styles boy went on a date with Augustine—the Johnson’s daughter— a few months back. I think they even went on a second as well.” Her eyes narrowed slightly, watching for a reaction from Thea.

Thea’s heart swelled at his name, although she wouldn’t let it show on her face. Flashes of shifty hands and stolen kisses passed behind her eyes as if she had them filed for moments like this. Augustine? She definitely didn’t seem like his type and it might have been the pang of jealousy rearing its insidious green head but Thea really never cared for Augustine much.

Harry and her had… well, history. A compilation of what-ifs and almosts filled the lines of their pages. They had ran in the same circle of teenagers and every secret party that was worth attending always ended in alcohol-laden kisses in dark corners between the two—sometimes even under bleachers at the football field where they swore that the miserable town would be behind them one day. They never dated officially— as someone else to inevitably leave behind absolutely terrified Thea—but if there was anyone she wanted to kiss on a lonely Friday night… it had always been him.

It wasn’t until last year when she returned home for Christmas—after movie premiers and filming for a new role—that they discovered the old flame was still alive and burning. They had slept together and Thea had felt herself developing feelings for the curly-haired boy faster than she could comprehend. His laughter, his green eyes…

She swallowed and looked out the dark window.

Thea had promised to stay with him for New Year’s Eve before she got word of a large party back in LA. There would be a producer there that was working on a new project that she was keeping her eye on. She used that as the excuse to leave prematurely, although deep down she knew that she was only running away from someone who would just make it harder to leave again. She couldn’t afford the emotional cost she’d have to pay to let herself develop feelings for him. So, as it had been one full year since she had stepped within this town, it had also been one full year since she had talked to Harry. After she declined a few of his calls, he got the hint and left her alone. Radio silence should have made the ache go away but nevertheless the wrench of her heart when his name crossed her mind persisted.

It might have been thoughts of Harry and his warm hands that drove her to accept an invite to the local dive bar that night. Her childhood friends heard she was in town and wanted to grab drinks for old time’s sake. The memories that came with this place were enough to remind her that she deserved a drink or two.

“Is that the movie star, Dorothea Riley?”

“She goes by Thea now, Laura!”

Thea exhaled a breathy laugh at the familiar voices as she entered the bar, warm air hitting her from the biting cold. Laura, her old friend, stood around five foot tall but enveloped her in a hug tighter than her mother had.

“It’s so good to see you again,” Thea hummed into the embrace before following Laura to the table of faces that she frequently sees in reminiscent high school photos. Pictures littered her childhood bedroom of football games, beach trips and secret parties with all these people being a part of those memories.  

“How’s L.A. these days, Thea?” piped John, his arm thrown around his newly wed wife, Anna. They had been together since they hit puberty, so it wasn’t a surprise to hear that they had recently tied the knot. Thea had even received an invitation to the wedding during the summertime. She sent a gift in her place, offering her congratulations in her absence due to a busy filming schedule. “We’d been thinking of taking a trip next year.”

Thea took a seat on the wooden chair facing them, casually crossing her arms across her chest to warm up her body. “Warm,” she breathed. “I forgot how winter felt.”

She didn’t realize the weight of her words at that moment though. It wasn’t until the door to the bar opened and a crisp chill caused an eruption of goosebumps across her arms that she felt a cold that went down to her bones and across the planes of her heart.

Harry brought with him another type of winter that caused even December to falter in its snowy tracks when his gaze met Thea’s from across the room. While they were previously glassy from the wind outside, they had now sharpened, stopping her from even taking a breath. A muscle in his jaw twitched and Thea shivered. Her expensive coat offered no warmth to this type of cold.

She looked down but was very aware of the familiar sound of steps approaching the table that had now gone silent. Thea’s heart contracted with ache as she realized with surprise that she recognized the way his boots sounded on floorboards.

She felt the heavy gazes of her friends shifting back and forth between the two.

“Harry!” Laura greeted within the heavy silence that sat like weights on Thea’s chest. “I’m glad you could make it. I know how busy the music store is this time of the year.”

Instead of deciding whether to be an active participant within the conversation or remain mute, Thea was rescued by the ringing of her phone. She would have taken an out if it had been a telemarketer at this point, but it was actually her agent and she stood gesturing to the buzzing iPhone in her hands in apology.

As she walked out, she passed Harry and for a moment time stilled as they were the closest they had been in a full year. Through the coldness that seeped from him, she couldn’t help but think back on the nights that his warmth had lit a furnace heating her body with touches and soft gasps. It made such a contrast to the way she pulled her coat tighter around her body now within his presence.

Her voice echoed off the brick walls of the alley she slipped into beside the bar as she spoke to her agent about how long she would be visiting her family. Main street was lively tonight as cars slowed and passed one another, the drivers waving through the windows as no one was a stranger in Tupelo. The phone call was brief, and she found herself taking a few deep breaths to encourage her to reenter the bar.

When she turned on her heeled boot to leave the alleyway, she stopped in her tracks at the familiar stature waiting for her at the corner. She couldn’t help the way her heart sped up.

“Didn’t think you could make time to visit with your busy schedule,” he drawled, his voice dipping lower into the syllables like it was wanting to rest there. His accent was a sharp contrast to the southern dialect that plagued this town. Like a hint of world further away that had always attracted Thea.  “Guess I was right.” It was biting… but not too harsh.

Thea swallowed. “I…” she began, trying to find the words to express how much she missed him but failing. “I deserve that.”

He nodded, leaning his shoulder against the bricks. “You never answered my calls, Dorothea.”

She had shortened her name to go along with her step into fame. She had never loved it. She didn’t like the way it sounded cushioned with a southern accent, announced through a pageant speaker, followed with expectations. But hearing it out of Harry’s mouth… it made her almost regret asking to be called Thea if there was a chance someone could say her name with conviction like Harry did and light the flicker of a flame in her gut like he did now. Maybe she wouldn’t be so stuck on him.

“I didn’t know how to.” With all the thoughts running through her mind, these were the only words her mouth could form.

He stared at her, holding her in her place, then said, “I’ve been seeing Augustine.” His green eyes narrowed slightly, analyzing the way she shifted her weight to her other foot.

The ache was briefly subdued as a flash of anger hit her in the gut. Was he trying to torture her?

She had never been known for holding her tongue and the mix of his statement with the biting cold caused an irritation to leak into her voice. “If I wanted to know who you’ve been seeing, I would have asked.”

His eyes danced with some hidden amusement at her rebuttal as the corner of his mouth raised slightly, causing a dimple to form in his cheek. Dorothea didn’t know but Harry had been wanting—craving—a reaction from her. Some hint to confirm the suspicion that she was hurting just the same as he was. The artificial indifference she tried to portray put a bad taste in his mouth. She might have been an award-winning actress… but he knew her.

“What’s so funny?”

“I knew you cared.”

She sucked in a breath, eyes looking to her shoes. “I never said I didn’t.”

The small hint of confession caused Harry to stumble. He had been ready to tear into her, yell at her, make her feel like he had felt for a whole 365 days she had been gone. It was easier to be mad at someone you saw only through a tiny screen, to tell yourself you hated them when you were separated by miles. Now that she was standing in front of him… he just hurt. A dull ache throbbing in his chest as he looked at her. She wasn’t the same person… he knew that. But she had the same hesitant tortured eyes that he remembered begged him to not go to the prom as she wore the prettiest dress he had ever seen.

And he always folded when it came to her. She wanted to piss off her mother, skip the prom that she was supposed to be queen of in the middle of her teenage rebellion. So he did. He turned left at the intersection where he should have turned right and they ran through the park, dirt staining their fancy clothes, seventeen years old and nothing figured out.

It was in the present that he stepped forward and the gap that had separated them warmed slightly. There was a small moment before he grabbed her face and kissed her that Thea wondered if she should stop him. She had been guarding her heart, building a brick wall around the organ for when she returned to Tupelo. She couldn’t make this hurt like it had last time—it had almost destroyed her.

But like everything else when it came to him… she folded. So she let him grab her face and press his wind-chapped lips to hers, warming up her mouth and letting the cold exterior of her chip somewhat. It felt just as passionate as it had the time before a year ago. He kissed her like a man would.

Strikingly enough, she realized that no one in L.A. kissed like Harry did. No other man grabbed her so hungrily, yet so gentle. They didn’t breathe mint into her and caress her cheeks with their long thumbs. Their presence didn’t fill the void spaces of her soul where things didn’t make sense.

It was for those reasons that she eased back slightly, breathing into the space between them, “This doesn’t change anything. I’m still going to leave.”

He knew deep down that she would say that, although it didn’t stop his gut from feeling the punch any less. At the end of the day, she could tear him apart with her bare hands and he’d still support everything she does, watch every movie, every interview, buy every endorsed product. Live his whole life waiting for the brief moments he’d have her like this—with him.

“If it’s all the same to you,” he whispered, pushing a hair back behind her ear. “It’s the same to me.”

He didn’t believe it one bit but he pushed his mouth back to hers anyways.

[prorevenge]

Be a jerk about fixing my car? hope you and your manager enjoy unemployment thanks to my dumb luck

Okay so, Few things to start. Im sorry this is long, but its a lot of information to lay out the story. i think the revenge is pretty sweet tho.

Secondly, English is my first language but I never did well with grammar, sorry.

Okay so the story.

In Jan. 2018, my best friend, his girlfriend and I all went out. we took my car, but I got drunk so my best friend drove us home. As we were approaching a round about, a driver from a side street pulled out in front of us then slammed on their brakes, causing my best friend to swerve, and hit the concrete median with both drivers side tires. We parked the car in a parking lot, and ubered home.

Next day I had the car towed to my personal mechanics shop. Insurance guy asses the damage and my mechanic gets to work.

He does everything he thought it needed, put it on the alignment rack, and found out that the engine cradle had been bent in the impact and it needed a new one. He didnt have the capability to do this, so they sent my car to a different company. lets just call it "ABC Repair".

ABC repair outsourced the engine cradle replacement to "Di*kweed shop AKA DS". Car goes, takes forever because the first cradle they got was bent, so they had to order another one from California. dude ordered the wrong parts originally. Dude gets the cradle in on the day my rental car coverage expires. as a single dad, i needed my car. Also, this whole time the manager of ABC Repair shop was not keeping me up to date on any of this, was dodging my calls, and anytime i did get him, he was rude to me.

So, guy busts rear to get it in that day, test drove, and returned it to ABC repair right before closing time, where i was waiting to pick it up. DS gave it a clean bill of health and handed over the keys.

HERES WHERE RUDE SHIT BEGINS

so the minute i left ABC shop that night, there was something wrong with the car. Since i have a bit of auto mechanic experience i assumed it was a wheel bearing. Next morning i call my insurance adjuster who tells me to take it back to DS and see whats up.

So i call him up, and say hey, its the dude with the engine cradle job, uhhh i think theres something wrong with one of the bearings.

DS : yeah, i knew about that.

ME : uhh... so why did you give it a clean bill of health?

DS: i was being rushed to return it, so i just said it was fine. It wasnt critical, so whats the big deal?

Me: uhh. okay, well this needs fixed. Are you sure you know exactly whats wrong?

DS: 100% right rear wheel bearing.

ME: okay, ill call adjuster and get it approved for repair. I have no more rental coverage, but i am going out of town this weekend and will not need my car thurs - sunday. I can drop it off then, does that work?

DS: sure no problem, see you thursday morning.

DS orders the bearing with ins. approval, and all is well. I go in thursday morning to drop off the car, and the convo goes roughly as followed.

ME: hey there, heres the keys. Now, if its actually not what you think it is, or theres more, PLEASE call me right away. ill call INS adjuster and get it approved since this is the only time i dont need my car for transporting my child.

DS: no worries. im positive its what i think it is. but if not, ill call.

I head out of town. have a great weekend, no call from DS.

Monday morning comes around, and i am about to head to pick up the car, when i get a phone call from my adjuster. He tells me he just got off the phone with DS and he was informed that no work was done on my car all weekend. I. was. livid. i asked why, and ins adjuster said he didnt know, head down there and talk to the guy myself. so i did.

I walked into the shop and dinged the bell. He walked into the office and said "can i help you?" as if he didnt even know who i was. Followed is the convo.

Me : Yeah, Ins guy tells me you didnt touch my car, what the hell happened?

DS: well, it was the right front not right rear bearing like i thought. so i couldnt do it work since the right front wasnt approved.

ME: but i asked you to call me if it wasnt what you thought it was, and you said you would. why didnt you call?

DS: well, whos paying for this, you or insurance?

ME: that doesnt matter, i asked you to call so i could get it approved while i was out of town. why didnt you call me?

DS: i dont have to answer you. it wasnt the approved work. i didnt do it. end of story.

ME: WHY DIDNT YOU CALL. I COULD HAVE GOTTEN IT APPROVED LIKE I SAID BEFORE I LEFT FOR OUT OF TOWN!

DS turns around, grabs my keys off the counter behind him, hands them to me, and says "take your keys, take your car, im done dealing with you"

I walk out, pissed, and across the street to his managers office and ask to talk to manager. on vacation until wed. i leave my number and ask manager to call me. In the meantime, i get car to original mechanic, who starts bearing repairs on all 4 tires ( approved by ins as a "were sorry" for DS shop experience) He also noticed that DS used the wrong strut in my car when he replaced the engine cradle, and didnt put the rivets back in the plastic wheel well liner, causing the tire to burn a hole though it. which insurance approved replacing both with the correct parts.

manager finally calls me at 445pm on wed after being busy doing "payroll all day"

ME: so do you know anything about why i am calling you?

DSM : no clue whats going on?

ME: begins to explain what happened when i returned from out of town, then state the strut was wrong and the liner was ruined.

DSM " interupts me he couldnt of ruined the liner by replacing the cradle

ME: oh so you do know who i am, what actually happened. (i never mentioned engine cradle replacement)

DSM: well, ill apologize for wasting your time, but i dont know what else you want me to do. sorry. hangs up on me

THE REVENGE

Remember that trip out of town? Well, on my return trip, i was bumped off my original flight, then bumped from that flight, to the one that finally took me home. I get on the plane, find my seat, put in my headphones and start to settle in. now mind you, i was out of town for a party, and i was wearing a themed onsie. a gentleman in a business suit sits down next to me. Im naturally an outgoing person, so i strike up a conversation.

ME: hey there, heading to destination for business or pleasure?

HIM : Business.

ME : what do you do?

HIM : im the regional vice president for ABC Repair company.

my eyes got huge. it was destiny. So i begin to tell him my current experience up to me leaving for out of town. the A-hole manager at his shop to the DS jerk they were subletting business too. VP was taking notes on my entire story, i swear his jaw was on the tray table. he was furious. He gave me his personal cell and email and told me he would be having a talk with the manager. he also had his company pay for 5 more days for a rental car since they ordered a used cradle and not a new one, which A-hole manager decided, didnt even ask my adjuster or me. which wasted 5 days.

The next afternoon, after i pick up my car and had that experience, i got a call from VP. He waned to make sure my car was fixed, and that he also found out there were more complaints about his manager who treated me poorly. the manager was hiding the complaints and they never reached cooperate, so he was fired.

I then tell him about my experience that morning with the guy not doing any work on my car while i was gone. That pissed him off too. He said he would be in touch.

after i talked to DSM on wednesday, i called VP back and told him what happened. He said thank you for the information and hung up.

About a month later, i had a question for VP not related to any of this, so i called him up, and i learned that they stopped giving their work to DS shop, and when the owner of DS found out why, he fired both DS mechanic, and DSM.

So thats my story. hope yall enjoyed. Moral, dont be a d-bag, be honest, and you wolnt get bit by karma.

(source) story by (/u/MajorMoron0851)

[wineanddinosaur]

VinePair Podcast: Is Happy Hour Back?

VinePair, in partnership with Rémy Martin, presents the Bartender Talent Academy, an exciting Cognac cocktail competition. Showcase your most creative Sidecar cocktail recipes to compete for a chance at the grand prize: a trip to Cognac, France in October to test your bartending skills against the world’s best. All you need is a shaker and a passport. Visit www.bartendertalentacademy.com for all competition details.

This week on the “VinePair Podcast,” Adam Teeter, Zach Geballe, and Joanna Sciarrino discuss the return of happy hour. But first, Teeter recaps his trip to Louisville, which involved lots of bourbon, Geballe posits a new cocktail recipe, and our hosts dive into a discussion about the sudden cessation of to-go cocktail programs in New York and other states.

The trio then debates whether or not bars should continue offering happy hour deals during these uncertain times. They also discuss the role office culture plays in happy hour attendance, and whether or not those returning to in-person work will be the driving forces in the return of happy hour.

If you have any thoughts on the future of happy hour, please send your ideas to podcast@vinepair.com.

Listen Online

Listen on Apple Podcasts

Listen on Spotify

Or Check out the Conversation Here

Adam Teeter: From VinePair’s New York City headquarters, I’m Adam Teeter.

Joanna Sciarrino: And I’m Joanna Sciarrino.

Zach Geballe: And in Seattle, Wash., I’m Zach Geballe.

A: And this is the “VinePair Podcast.” It really feels like summer now. It’s crazy out there.

Z: It’s supposed to be over 100 degrees in Seattle this weekend. I know we are trying to avoid too much weather conversation, but that is going to suck. That is about 15 to 20 degrees above where I stop going outside.

A: Well, speaking of it feeling crazy. Earlier this week, I was in Louisville, Ky.

Z: Yes. Tell us, how much bourbon did you drink?

A: A good amount. A little bit regretfully, I probably didn’t need one bourbon at the end of the night on Tuesday. Anyway, it was interesting. This was my first time on the plane since Covid was over. It’s not over, sorry, but since we are coming out of it and in Louisville, it felt like Covid was over. It was really weird. I definitely think different parts of the country are very much doing different things. I mean, no one was wearing masks. I think I got weird looks everywhere. I wore a mask. My Uber driver on the way back to the airport on Wednesday told me he thought I should take my mask off. I said “I’m good with it on, thank you.” He said, “I’m vaccinated, aren’t you? Then, take it off.” I said, “No.” It was just weird, but it was interesting to be in Louisville for sure. The city definitely feels very dead in certain ways. All of the downtown areas where there are offices were pretty quiet, but then in the evenings when the bars were at their fullest, it looked like a very normal city. No sidewalk shelters in terms of people dining outside. Everyone was inside, no windows open for ventilation. Windows were closed to conserve air conditioning in the Southern heat, and no one with masks. It was really crazy.

Z: Joanna, have you been to Louisville?

J: I have been to Louisville for a wedding.

Z: That’s when I was there.

J: I think I went to the baseball museum?

Z: Yeah, the Louisville Slugger Museum.

A: You were close enough, they make baseball bats.

J: That’s it. It was nice, but I didn’t get to explore much.

Z: I went there for a wedding as well and definitely drank a lot of bourbon, but one of my great regrets in life and frustrations occurred at the rehearsal dinner held at Churchill Downs, where they hold the Kentucky Derby. It was not just beer and wine, there were cocktails and all that. The thing you could not get, which is the one thing you would think going to Churchill Downs you would be able to get, is a Mint Julep. My good friend, who was the groom, his mom because his parents were the ones hosting the rehearsal dinner, was worried that people would get too drunk if they had Mint Juleps. We were not allowed to have Mint Juleps but I could go get shots of bourbon, mind you, and did.

A: Funny.

Z: I was so annoyed. I may well be back in Kentucky and may well go to Churchill Downs at some point in my life. There’s also a decent chance I’ll never be there again. It is the drink that is so iconic for not just the town, but literally the place I’m standing and yet I can’t get it. Yeah, I may have complained about that all night.

A: I could see you complaining about that all night. I’m not surprised.

Z: It’s in keeping with me.

A: Yes, it’s your brand, but it was interesting, though. It’s crazy. There’s been an influx of distilleries that have opened in Louisville. I guess that’s always the case, right?

Z: No, it was surprising to me when I was there that I thought I would be able to go to distilleries. No, you can drive to Lexington, right. I’m not renting a car to go to the distilleries, that seems like a bad idea.

A: That’s definitely more of where they are. I’ve actually been to Lexington before for work. This is my first time working in Louisville, but there are a few now. They have Rabbit Hole, which I think was just bought by Pernod Ricard. They have a huge facility. It’s a massive steel and glass facility in this neighborhood of Louisville called Nulu, which was interesting. Obviously, Angel’s Envy is right downtown. It was interesting to see and they take bourbon very seriously. The majority of people that were in town were definitely there for bourbon tourism reasons and checking it all out.

Z: Didn’t Old Forester open down there too, right?

A: They have tasting rooms. There is this one street and they call it Bourbon Row. A lot of the distilleries have “the Old Forester Experience,” “the Maker’s Mark Experience.”

Z: OK, so they don’t make anything there.

A: No, you can still go to their distillery, but I think they’re just trying to catch anyone who just happens to be in town.

Z: Someone coming across the bridge from Ohio, whatever.

A: Yeah, exactly. I think that was the thing that was interesting, too, is that there were a lot of those that felt like going to the Jameson Experience in Dublin. Nothing’s being distilled there, but you can go there and experience the brand. The only operating distilleries were those three, and there might be another one I’m forgetting. And Stitzel-Weller is close to the city, but not in Louisville. Everywhere we went, it didn’t matter where you were, they had insane bourbon lists.

Z: Did you have a single best bourbon? I know that’s impossible, but for the sake of our running conceit here that we talk about what we drank.

A: I had some interesting stuff. I had the Wheated Wilderness Trail. They are the distillery that’s being hyped more than anything else by the geeks right now. I thought that it was good. Again, it didn’t blow me away, but it was good. I still think that Larceny does really great stuff. I had a Larceny single barrel that was really delicious and very well priced. Also, you look at these lists now, and it’s like, holy crap. For a one-ounce pour of some of these liquids, we’re getting over $50, $60, or $70 a pour. That was crazy to just see how exorbitant the prices have been. You can also tell, just like anything, that whatever is currently hot is what everyone’s asking for. I would say at least three different people just assumed we were looking for Blanton’s, since that’s the thing that everybody wants. One of our Uber drivers said, “Hey guys, I know three liquor stores that have Blanton’s.” People get in your car and ask who has Blanton’s and where they can get it? It’s just so funny that that’s the bourbon that exploded recently, because I used to be able to get it very easily at liquor stores all over New York. I know it’s good, but I don’t really understand how that gets hyped all of a sudden. And now, no one could find it.

Z: I thought you were going to say your Uber driver is going to offer you a little nip from his bottle. I mean, maybe. You gotta take the mask off for that one, though.

A: Yeah, so that one was quite tasty. I had an Evan Williams and that was pretty delicious. I had the Old Forester 117 series. That was pretty amazing. It was really, really tasty. It was $35 for a one-ounce pour, which is, again, exorbitant, but it was what it was. Besides that, we had wine and beer because those were the things that people were looking for. Tim was my guide, so I was asking him what I should drink. Two of the people I was with had the Elijah Craig Toasted Barrel, which apparently people are crazy for and the geeks can’t find it. It was also really tasty. Yet, the whole thing with bourbon is so insane with the limited releases, exclusivity, and scarcity thing. It’s crazy. However, it was fun to go down to Louisville. I’m glad I saw it. What about you guys?

J: This past weekend, we went to one of our favorite local bars, Brandy Library. If you’re familiar with it, it’s a really wonderful spot. It has a really extensive selection of fine spirits, and it’s really beautiful inside there. The walls are completely lined and they’re illuminated. It has a lovely lounge setting. I saw on the menu that they had Westland Whiskey. I wanted to try it, obviously, after your chat with Matt Hofman, Zach. I tried the Sherrywood Single Malt Whiskey, which was really lovely and aromatic. You can really pick up the sherry in it. I also tried the Starward Nova single malt Australian whiskey, which I’ve had before, but the bartender poured it for us, and that’s also really interesting. It’s aged in red wine barrels for two years.

A: Oh, very cool.

J: It was really warm and spiced. Yeah, they were both just really interesting, beautiful expressions.

Z: Very cool. If you guys haven’t listened to the interview I did with Matt Hofman, I like to think that all of our “Next Round” episodes are great, but what they’re doing at Westland is very interesting to me and has been for quite some time. It helps that the whiskey is also, I think, quite good because interesting is one thing, but it has to taste good.

J: I agree.

A: Totally. What about you, Zach?

Z: Well, there are two things that I had this last week that I am most excited about or was most excited about. Adam, you and I did an interview or a podcast episode a while back talking about the wines of Ribera del Duero and Rueda. I had one of the bottles that they sent, the Martinsancho Rueda, so white wine made from Verdejo. For Father’s Day, we went out to my dad’s house and my dad, as he almost always does when he has a group of people over, makes paella, which is good and bad. My dad’s paella is tasty, but it takes for f*ckin’ ever. I always try to bring some wines to go with it and actually brought a couple of wines. One was an Assyrtiko from Santorini, from Estate Argyros. Then, the other was Martin Sancho Rueda. I was very pleased with how well it paired. I think paella is a complicated dish to pair with because there’s a lot going on. Sometimes I’ve paired it more with a lighter-bodied white wine, but you need the richness and unctuousness of something like this to hold up the richness that is really a big part of paella. Even though it’s got some seafood and stuff like that, which we’re still talking white wine, I think it paired really nicely. The other thing that I made recently that I’ve been obsessively tinkering with is — because we talked about modern classic cocktails — I’ve been trying to come up with a drink. It takes the template of the Paper Plane but does something different with it.

A: Interesting.

Z: I’ve long been a big fan of drinks that combine aged tequila, Cynar, and lime juice. I think the three of those work really, really well together. Three of the four ingredients, conceptually at least towards a Paper Plane in that you have your brown spirit, in this case tequila. You have your citrus juice and you have a bitter liqueur. Obviously, Cynar is pretty different from Aperol, but tequila is pretty different from whiskey. It’s really been that last ingredient that’s been bedeviling me so far. Part of it is just that I have a limited range of amari at home. My first attempt was a Fernet because maybe a minty thing will be interesting. That didn’t work so well. It tasted like an ashtray, unfortunately. I like Fernet, but it doesn’t always play well in cocktails with others. Then, I tried Amaro Montenegro, which was pretty good. I tried Nonino, but it can get lost in there. I’m open to suggestions from you guys or anyone else out there if you’ve got a herbal but not overly minty amari, or something else that I should try as this last part of the cocktail. It’s close to being what I wanted to be. It’s just not quite there yet.

A: Well, so here’s my question with this. Do you think the Cynar, because it is so much of a fuller flavor than even an Aperol, maybe it makes it harder to then also add another amaro?

Z: That could be. It’s possible that what I need to do is find another ingredient that goes in a somewhat different direction. I haven’t done this yet, but I’ve thought about doing something like dry Curaçao. I would like to get more of that orange note that you also get from Aperol, but not as intense. Yeah, that might be the next iteration because it’s true that Cynar lends more bitterness and impact than Aperol. Stay tuned.

A: Yes, please keep us updated.

Z: I will.

A: The other thing I think is worth talking about before we jump into this subject is, I don’t know if you guys saw. I know Joanna did, but Zach, it’s not as impactful for you. It is really interesting to see the city of New York or the state of New York actually just decided to immediately cancel ready-to-go cocktails, effective today.

Z: Pennsylvania did that a week or two ago.

A: Just really stupid. I get that it’s feeling a lot more normal, but that doesn’t mean that the places that were hit the hardest have recovered. Do you know what I mean? I don’t understand why it’s hurting anyone for these restaurants to be able to still sell cocktails to-go. This seems like another kick in the gut, right? Restaurants are just trying to do what they need to do to survive. They are given this lifeline. They make investments to make sure it’s safe and is high quality, all this stuff. Now, with no warning, “Oh, this is done tomorrow.” It just really sucks.

Z: It really does. I didn’t see specifically what Cuomo said about this or the people who are either pushing for this or directing it from the state level. As you said, who is this hurting, and what is the reason to not only end these policies but end them instantly? It’d be one thing if they said, “Hey, we think that by Sept. 30 we can wrap this up.” Fine, you get through summer. There’s probably a lot of interesting ready-to-go cocktails in the winter, etc. Yet, to drop that on everyone with essentially zero notice and zero lag time, whose interests are being served by that? Seriously, I wonder who behind the scenes is lobbying on this because that doesn’t seem like something that happens suddenly without at least a little bit of pressure that maybe we’re not aware of.

A: Yeah, it has to be right. I mean, someone had to have lobbied. It just doesn’t make a lot of sense at all.

Z: Yeah. If you know podcast@vinepair.com, we’ll call them out.

A: Yeah, totally. It is very strange. The whole thing is very strange. Why it’s so abrupt is very strange. I was super bullish that the shelters or the outdoor seating in the street were going to be here to stay. Now, I really wonder if that’s the case.

Z: Yeah. Although, those things are so much more visible. I think there might be more pushback from people who’ve really enjoyed having that, including the restaurants and things. If they go away, to-go cocktails are visible in a sense, but they’re not something that New Yorkers see all day, every day. I’m sure both of you walk outside your door that you’re seeing these structures on the street anywhere you go. I think that probably lends them a chance of being more permanent. However, I agree. “Back to normal” sometimes means losing things that we thought we had gained in this period of time.

J: Yeah. Also just to Adam’s point, these were such significant investments on behalf of bars and restaurants to erect these — in some cases — full structures. It would just be such a shame, and abruptly? That would be horrible.

A: Yeah, it would just be the worst. Well, today’s big discussion is all about happy hour, and what the future of happy hour is going to look like now that we are slowly starting to make our way back to the office. I think we’re going to see more and more people go back to work. That’s my hypothesis. I think a lot of you’re already hearing from people who have tried the hybrid model. For a lot of businesses, they’re saying it’s not working. It’s very hard for there to be a group of people in the office and a group of people on Zoom and to feel that the meeting is productive or that there’s a collaboration happening. It needs to be all of one or all of the other. I think that’s what you’ll start to see is some people who will permanently work from home or from home on these days specifically, whereas everyone else on other days is in the office. However, I do think we are going to start seeing more and more people come back to the office. As that happens, the question then becomes, are we going to see this massive return of happy hour? And what will happy hour look like? I think it’s an interesting thing to ponder, so what do you guys think?

J: I think another question that I’ve been thinking about just in this conversation is, should there be a happy hour? I mean that more from a financial point of perspective, with businesses just getting back on their feet, does it make sense for them to have happy hours? Should we be expecting that as patrons, or should we all just be willing to pay full price for the next while?

A: That’s a very, very interesting thought. Should we actually have happy hour? I’m not sure. This goes back to the conversation we had a while ago, Zach, about pricing models and whether the happy hour is beneficial because it brings new people into the bar at a time when maybe they wouldn’t come into the bar. I don’t know. Happy hour originally existed because it’s a time when the bar’s not that crowded and you want to get more people to the bar. But are people going to go to happy hour at all?

Z: Well, a thing that was always interesting to me is that Seattle has had an alarmingly vibrant happy hour culture for a long time. Here, I think it’s born out of maybe two interrelated things. One is the truth of it, which is that here in Seattle, especially in the fall and winter, it gets dark really early. There’s always been this thing where, as compared to New York, people just in general are done with their evenings earlier, bars close earlier, all those sorts of things. That all naturally shifts the business earlier in the evening. On top of that, you have widespread frugality or cheapness, whatever you want to call it. What’s interesting to me is talking to people I worked with over the years who moved to Seattle from other places, and their happy hour is maybe getting a dollar off a beer or two dollars off a glass of wine. It’s not what it was in Seattle for a lot of restaurants, where there is an extensive menu. There are real drink specials. It is more of what we talked about, as you said, with dynamic pricing. You come in and eat a full meal but eat it at 5 o’clock, not at 7 o’clock. Then, you have this back and forth about whether those things are really fundamentally different. However, I think the thing that I’m curious about feeds back into your initial question, Adam, about whether office culture will affect this. Many of the restaurants here and I think this is true for a lot of the country, especially places besides New York, where you just have incredible density. The downtown areas are, as you said in Louisville, the slowest areas to recover. There’s not a lot of business there during the day. I think the question is these places that maybe built a lot of their business around the idea of capturing happy hour business and then maybe that transitions into the dinner business. If people aren’t in the office, will they still come to these parts of the city for happy hour if the pricing is good enough? Maybe. Well, maybe if they’re only working in the office two or three days a week, maybe those two or three days are their “go-out nights,” right? They’re in the office Monday, Wednesday, Friday, so Wednesday and Friday nights, they go out. This isn’t an answer, I guess. I will be curious to hear what you both think. I do think that if I were an operator in a lot of these places, I would be cautiously dipping my toe back into happy hour promotions, and maybe we can address that profitability side of it in a moment. I do think that we’re just going to have to wait and see in some sense, because I really think — whether it’s business lunches, happy hour — how the business community responds and returns to restaurants and bars is a huge unanswered question yet, one that is going to be hugely impactful for a lot of these businesses. I will just add the last piece here, which is that my wife, who works for a big accounting firm, has just started to get some of those first, “Hey, we should have a work group happy hour.” Her business has been pretty conservative about coming back to the office. Everyone is still working from home until after Labor Day at the earliest. I mean, they’re allowing people to come in on occasion, but basically, it’s all still work from home. Yet, you can see there’s a lot of desire for this, and getting everyone together for a virtual happy hour just ain’t cutting it anymore. Understandably, those are not super fun.

A: Yeah, I think it’s going to come back in a big way. I think it’s going to come back in a big way just based on what I’m already seeing in terms of people who are asking to meet up in person. I was supposed to have a call tomorrow with someone and literally as we’re sitting here because obviously as we record, my email’s open.

Z: That is not a surprise.

A: The person says, “Hey, Adam, would you like to meet in person tomorrow? I see we’re meeting towards the end of the day, it would be great to grab a drink instead of sitting on Zoom.” I think there’s a lot of that that’s going to happen, and people who are gonna be really excited about it. I think that dipping your toe back into happy hour is not a bad idea, whether that happy hour has some food or a discount on drinks, maybe even the first drink and not the second. Maybe there’s some limit that’s not the time window. Maybe you get two drinks at this price and then we go to full price with you. I don’t know if restaurants are worried, but I think there’s going to be such a slam that most restaurants and bars usually have made a lot of money at happy hour in the past. I think it’s something where going back to that is going to be really exciting for a lot of people.

J: Yeah, I think you also make a really good point, Zach, about the places like the downtown areas that have been so depressed over the past 16 months. For the ones that have managed to stay alive and stay open, this will probably be a really big part of their strategy to draw people in the ones who are returning to the office.

Z: To the question that you raised, Joanna, about whether we should be doing this and profitability, Adam makes a point that I think is a good one, which is that you can definitely make money at happy hour. Happy hour is a different financial model than fine dining dinner service. Look, I remember being not astonished by this, but impressed by it. Some of the most profitable bars and restaurants that are out there are places that are churn and burn. It’s fast-paced. They get people in and get people out. Maybe you’re paying less, but you have volume, and that adds up quickly. I think the questions that we can’t yet answer are how will this be affected by what we’ve all been seeing and hearing about, issues with a labor crunch? Fast-paced services are demanding and challenging. It requires a decent amount of staff, in a lot of cases, to get through to just get things cooked, get drinks made, poured, on tables, and the payment process. This is one that I wanted to mention in this context. There’s also this upcoming other crunch that I don’t know if you guys are fully aware of, but I’ve been hearing about it from people I know on the supply side, which is we have a huge wine crunch coming, and it’s almost all concentrated in the kinds of wines that are poured at happy hour.

A: You mean there’s going to be a ton on the market, or none?

Z: No, there’s going to be a tremendous lack of it. Again, what has not been talked about a ton is how much less wine got made in 2020 in Europe than in previous years. Some of that was Covid, weather, and the broader economic uncertainty surrounding Covid. The problem is, if you don’t make the wine, it doesn’t exist. It’s not beer, it’s not spirits. You can’t always ramp up production. Some things you might have back inventory on, certainly some suppliers and distributors here in the U.S. might have that. However, between tariffs and shipping issues, there is an incredible crunch right now. I was talking to a friend who works for a distributor. He said, “I have almost no under-$10 European wine.” Sparkling wine, white wine, and rosés are just starting to arrive, but it’s also been delayed. If you’re pouring wine at happy hour, you’re relying on that category, right? Your wholesale cost has got to be $5, $6, or $7 a bottle. Sure, there’s some really big- production stuff that you might be able to get, and in some places, that might be just fine. However, if you’re not trying to pour the really big-production stuff, or at least that’s recognizable to people from stacks and stacks in the grocery store, you have limited options right now. It’s unclear, as far as I can tell, if any of that stuff is going to make it to the U.S. in time for the summer. We’re already in summer, as you pointed out at the beginning, Adam, and so we are facing this other crunch that is real for restaurants and bars. Now, you might ask, “What the hell do I pour for people?” There’s some stuff out there, but there’s a lot of competition for it, obviously. I don’t know what the answer is going to be. It would be a thing for domestic producers to think about, but opportunities abound because there’s obviously a demand for happy hour pours. I think there’s a lot of struggle meeting that demand and will be going forward for at least a few more months.

A: OK, let me ask a question. What percentage of people do you think order wine for happy hour?

Z: A lot, depending on where you are. When we did a happy hour in my restaurants, I would say at least 40 to 45 percent of what we poured was wine.

A: Interesting. But it was a restaurant, not a bar.

Z: Yes. If you go to a dive bar, people are drinking whatever, their $5 well drinks. That’s a different story. There is plenty of that stuff, I promise. Again, you think about what we’re talking about. There are the happy hour places that serve 23-year-olds who are looking for one thing. Then, there are happy hour places that serve us or people like us. There, I think you’re much more likely to see people drinking wine. I mean, that has always been my experience.

A: I think it’s so weird for me that I never really, in New York, got out in time to have happy hour. The time I left the office, it was not happy hour. I’m not aware of what bars or restaurants where I would have had wine, even did at happy hour.

Z: Joanna, what about you?

J: I mean, similar to Adam, that was a special occasion if we were out of the office early enough to partake in happy hour, but I often would get wine at happy hour.

A: Interesting. I think it’s going to come back in a very strong way. For the people that live in the city, are we going to have as many people trying to hit a happy hour location before they go to the train? No, because I think people who left these cities for the suburbs may try to negotiate some way to work from home. Whether they’re at a company that will allow that is up for debate. I’m sure a lot of people over the last week have seen the really famous speech that went around from the CEO of JP Morgan who basically said, “If you can come into the city to go out to eat, then you can come into the city to go to work.” It’ll be really interesting to see who takes that approach. If you want to make a New York salary, you need to live in New York. Then, which companies take other approaches and basically say, “No, this is fine. We’re saving so much on the office space and we’re still cool with you working from home.” How does that impact happy hour? When I was working from home during the pandemic, I don’t think I would have left my apartment at 5:30 and hit a happy hour location in my neighborhood. For me, happy hour is very transitional, leaving-the-office-on-your-way-home experience. I don’t know if happy hour takes place in a smaller town in the suburbs where people are still working from home. But in the core business districts of cities where people are going to go back to the office, I think it’ll boom.

Z: One last related question. Do you think we’re going to see the continued return and resurgence of the bottomless Mimosa brunch?

J: I think so. Did it ever go away?

Z: It was Covid-related. You couldn’t get a bottomless Mimosa to go, I’m pretty sure.

A: I don’t know. I feel the bottomless Mimosa came back with a force last summer. What really happened because of Covid, which I think we’re going to continue to see, was the rise of massive amounts of day drinking. All of these places had outdoor spots, and that’s where people felt safe, and they didn’t really want to do it at night. Then, as it was getting into the fall, it was getting cooler, so everyone was drinking during the day. There were several occasions where I remember having to come into the city for something and walking through the East Village or Murray Hill and tripping over very inebriated people who clearly had a lot of fun at bottomless brunch.

Z: What do they say? Nature is healing.

A: Exactly. I think that’s going to continue to be just a huge thing, especially in the cities that have always taken brunch seriously. New York likes its brunch.

Z: The bottomless Mimosa thing I’ve never been able to get behind. personally.

A: Me either.

Z: I’ve seen what goes into both the orange juice and the sparkling wine, and I want no part of either personally.

A: I mean, it’s never been my thing, but I’m going to say something crazy. I’m not the biggest day drinker.

J: Me neither.

A: I like to day drink once in a while, but I’m really not a day drinker. I’m really bad at it. Joanna, you said you are bad at it, too?

J: I am so bad at it.

A: It’s terrible. All of a sudden, I’m really tired.

J: It’s time to go home.

*A: I’m not good at it. I know I’m from a big college town, but I was a bad tailgater. I was the guy that didn’t want to drink before going into the stadium because then you didn’t get to watch the game.

Z: I guess with Auburn, at least that was a reasonable concern. In some college towns, that might’ve been the point.

A: Right, exactly. I’ve never been the best day drinker. Even for this weekend, I have a little party that I’m having.

Z: Yeah. Happy birthday, by the way.

A: Thank you. I just want everyone to know it is my birthday. By the way, if you are a Champagne brand and would like to sponsor my birthday, reach out to podcast@vinepair.com. Anyways, I want to have a picnic in the park with some of our good friends, but I wanted it to start at 4:30 or 5 because I don’t want to day drink. I want an evening drink and then go home.

Z: In early summer, it’s going to be light out plenty long. You are not exactly cutting it at 7 p.m.

A: Exactly, but I am just not a great day drinker.

Z: Well, none of us are perfect, Adam.

A: None of us are perfect. Anyway, a really interesting conversation. I actually am looking forward to a happy hour. I’m going to have my first happy hour, actually, next Tuesday.

Z: Well, maybe if I ever make it to New York, we’ll have an official podcast happy hour.

A: That would be awesome.

Z: Sponsors… podcast@vinepair.com.

A: Yeah. All right, guys. Well, I’ll see you next week.

J: Yes, happy birthday!

A: Thank you!

Z: Sounds great.

Thanks so much for listening to the “VinePair Podcast.” If you love this show as much as we love making it, then please give us a rating or review on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever it is you get your podcasts. It really helps everyone else discover the show.

Now for the credits. VinePair is produced and recorded in New York City and in Seattle, Wash., by myself and Zach Geballe. He does all the editing and loves to get the credit. Also, I would love to give a special shout-out to my VinePair co-founder, Josh Malin, for helping make all this possible and also to Keith Beavers, VinePair’s tastings director, who is additionally a producer on the show. I also want to, of course, thank every other member of the VinePair team who is instrumental in all of the ideas that go into making the show every week. Thanks so much for listening, and we’ll see you again.

Thanks for listening to the show, and just as a reminder, VinePair in partnership with Rémy Martin, is presenting the Bartender Talent Academy, an exciting Cognac cocktail competition. You can showcase your most creative Sidecar cocktail recipes to compete for a chance at the grand prize: a trip to Cognac, France in October to test your bartending skills against the world’s best. All you need is a shaker and a passport. So visit www.bartendertalentacademy.com for all competition details and to enter. Hope to see you there.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity.

The article VinePair Podcast: Is Happy Hour Back? appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/is-happy-hour-back/

[droewyn]

Give Me a Reason (5/9)

<Part 1>    <Part 2>    <Part 3>    <Part 4>

“He’s not really my friend, you know,” Yuuri informed the Uber driver.  He had no idea how long they had been on the road, or how much longer they’d be on the road, and the silence had finally gotten to him.  “This is actually a kidnapping.  Did you not notice the blindfold?”  It was actually a sleep mask, but the effect was the same.  Yuuri couldn’t see a thing.

“Lies!” Phichit gasped, swatting Yuuri on the shoulder.  “I am your best friend.  Best possible friend.  There are no better friends than me in the entire world and you know it.”

“Did you see that?” he demanded.  “Now he’s using physical violence to subdue me.”

There was a dry laugh from the front seat.  “Yeah, dude.  I can tell you’re terrified.”

“I’m resigned to my fate,” Yuuri corrected primly.  “You notice he’s not even denying the kidnapping part.”

“I’m kidnapping you out of love, Yuuri.  It’s a love abduction.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what serial killers say right before they—”  The car turned abruptly, and Yuuri fumbled for the oh-shit handle to keep himself upright.  Pavement gave way to gravel, and a moment later he felt the engine quiet as they slowed to a stop.

“We’re here!”

Having been forbidden to remove the blindfold until Phichit gave him permission to do so, Yuuri unbuckled his seat belt and opened the car door, but stayed where he was.  “I forgive you for not saving me,” he told the driver as Phichit paid for their ride.  “Please don’t blame yourself for my impending demise.”  Then there were hands on his, pulling him to his feet.

“Good luck with your… whatever,” the voice laughed, and the car started to pull away.

“My unquiet spirit totally won’t haunt you for eternity or anything, so don’t worry about it!” Yuuri shouted after the retreating vehicle.  Gripping Phichit’s hand tightly, he allowed himself to be led off the gravel and onto grass.  The sun was warm on his face, and the air was heady with spring flowers.

“You’re in a better mood today,” Phichit observed as they walked.

Yuuri shrugged.  “I guess,” he said.  “I mean, I’m still incredibly homesick, Victor Nikiforov still doesn’t know that I exist, I’m still going to have to take at least an extra semester of classes thanks to Professor Just-Because-You’re-An-Olympian-Doesn’t-Mean-You’re-Exempt-From-My-Attendance-Policy-You-Entitled-Millennial Goddamn Flint, and King probably still hates me.  But I had the spoons for basic hygiene this morning, so go me?”

The floral scent was getting stronger now.  Much stronger.  “You bantered with Uber Mike.  Having non-essential spoons to spend is good, right?”  Yuuri made a noncommittal noise, and Phichit sighed.  “Look, you were eighth at Worlds this year and tenth in the Olympics so the Victor thing is in progress, you’re going to camp out in front of the dean’s office until she agrees to review Flint’s bullshit decision, which she will since she isn’t an ageist old goat, and King absolutely does not hate you.  In fact, he’s been PMing me so much that I can’t keep up with his messages, and coming from me you know that’s saying something.  He’s worried, and more than a little afraid that you hate him.”

Yuuri opened his mouth to protest, but was stopped by a finger on his lips.  “Later,” Phichit’s tone brooked no argument.  “First things first.”  Without further warning, the sleep mask was yanked from his face, and Yuuri found himself blinking against sudden brightness.

The world was a green and purple blur.  One of the blankets from their apartment was spread out on the grass, and on top of it sat a red and white plastic cooler.  Phichit handed him his glasses, and as he slid them into place, the fuzzy shapes around them resolved into an intimate little grove of lilac bushes.  The plants were in full bloom, branches nearly bowing under the weight of the flowers.  Yuuri gasped.  “Phichit.”  His voice was an awed murmur.  “Is this...” he trailed off.

“It’s Michigan hanami!”  Phichit was beaming at Yuuri, delighted by his reaction.  “I couldn’t find any cherry blossoms, except for some little ornamental trees in people’s yards, but lilacs are basically everywhere.  Mackinac Island even has a lilac festival, but the hotels have been booked up for months and they’re really expensive and anyway, I didn’t think I could get you to put up with the blindfold for that long.”

“No, this is perfect.”   And it was.  If sakura blossoms were Japan – subtly sweet and graceful, with beauty in their very uniformity – then surely the bold lilac, with its powerful fragrance and infinite variations in size and color, had to be America.

And best of all, they were completely alone.  Even in a small town like Hasetsu, hanami would have them fighting for space, everyone’s blankets nearly overlapping in the struggle to fit everyone in for the sakura viewing.  It was fun, but loud and stressful as well.  Here, there was nothing to distract from the flowers, just the rustling of trees in the breeze interrupted by occasional birdsong.

No sooner had they slipped their shoes off and made themselves comfortable on the blanket than Phichit had the cooler open, pulling out treat after treat.  Mochi, onigiri, milk pudding, dango; each colored a delicate purple instead of the traditional cherry blossom pink.  “So this is what you’ve been doing with Ketty all week after practice.”  Yuuri admired a butter cookie and its decoration of sugared lilac blooms before taking a bite.  “It’s good,” he grinned.  “Different, but really good!”

“It was her idea to adapt the traditional recipes,” Phichit admitted.  “But we had to make sure I wasn’t going to poison us first.  Gods bless the internet.”

“I’ll drink to that.” The violet stuff in the clear plastic carafe turned out to be lemonade.  The lilac flavor worked oddly well against the sour citrus.

They made quick work of the festival sweets, and Phichit produced his Dominion cards with a flourish.  Yuuri pulled up his favorite “quiet time” playlist on his phone, and they listened to soft music as they played.  The two roommates were evenly matched and knew each other’s preferred strategies intimately, but managed to keep themselves from getting too competitive.  By the time the sun had turned golden and was starting to hang lower in the sky, Yuuri found himself lying on his back with his head in his friend’s lap, idly watching the clouds.

“Feeling better?”  Phichit was running his fingers through Yuuri’s hair.

He considered the question.  “Yeah,” he sighed finally.  “I think this is exactly what I needed.  Thanks, Phich.”

“Pay me back by helping me drill my triple axel.”

“I’d do that anyway.”  Yuuri was warm and comfortable.  He was pleasantly full of wonderful food, he’d won their little Dominion tournament by a single match – and now didn’t have to do the dishes for three weeks – and Phichit’s fingernails on his scalp were halfway to lulling him to sleep.  There was only one thing keeping the day from being utterly perfect.

“Do you mind if I text King?”  Then he winced.  Way to go, Katsuki.  Phichit plans an entire afternoon to cheer you up, and all you can think about is someone else.

But Phichit only nodded.  “I was hoping you would,” he said.  “Guilt/avoidance spirals aren’t a good look on anyone.”

*            *            *

Three days ago.

Deltatangofoxtrot: then she dragged us out to applebee’s

StandardDeviation: Ew.

Deltatangofoxtrot: ikr?  we’re in nola where like three different cuisines were fuckin invented and she wants to eat some crappy chain food we can get back home

KingElsa: That’s a crime against travel.  What’s the point in going places if you’re not going to sample the local specialties?

Deltatangofoxtrot: i mean i still proposed

lukewarm_mess: wait, what

Deltatangofoxtrot: we were already there and all

Deltatangofoxtrot: i figure i have our entire lives to teach her the right way to food and also tourist

KingElsa: !!!

StandardDeviation: Woah, grats man

lukewarm_mess: congratulations!

KingElsa:   ♡ ＼ ( ￣ ▽ ￣ ) ／ ♡

Deltatangofoxtrot: ty ty XD

KingElsa:  ( ﾉ ´ ヮ `) ﾉ *: ･ﾟ

KingElsa: °˖ ✧◝ (^ ♡ ^) ◜✧ ˖°

lukewarm_mess: have you set a date yet?

Deltatangofoxtrot: nothing firm but we’re hoping for autumn

Deltatangofoxtrot: we met on halloween

StandardDeviation: You want to get on that right away then

lukewarm_mess: yeah definitely, reserve your venue at the very least

Deltatangofoxtrot: …

lukewarm_mess: my family is in the hospitality business and even in a small town we have scheduling conflicts

lukewarm_mess: because people wait til the last minute

Deltatangofoxtrot: is it too late to elope

lukewarm_mess: waiting drives the price of food and stuff up too because they have to make the suppliers scramble

StandardDeviation: It’s never too late to elope but

KingElsa: GASP

StandardDeviation: That has to be what you both want

KingElsa: NO ELOPING!!!

StandardDeviation: My wedding was just a courthouse thing with four people there

StandardDeviation: Then we went out to lunch at a nice cafe

StandardDeviation: It was what we wanted and it was the best day of my life

KingElsa: There should be dancing and cake and laughter

KingElsa And champagne!  And wonderful food

StandardDeviation: But not everyone is okay with that

KingElsa: And everyone should be there to celebrate.  EVERYONE!

StandardDeviation: *cough* Exhibit A *cough*

Deltatangofoxtrot: i don’t mind having a big thing, i just have no idea how to plan one

KingElsa: And my groom had better ransom me properly!

lukewarm_mess: whose wedding is this anyway  ( ￢ _ ￢ )

StandardDeviation: Nobody does fox, if the gods wanted us to know how to plan weddings they wouldn’t have given us the internet

Deltatangofoxtrot: i spent like two minutes googling and then had to eat a whole pint of cherry garcia

KingElsa: !  Is that a proposal, Mess???

StandardDeviation: My cousin just had a big event-style wedding, do you want me to ask her for links

Deltatangofoxtrot: omg i will be your best friend

Deltatangofoxtrot: i will fight ninjas for you

Deltatangofoxtrot: and nazis

Deltatangofoxtrot: and spiders

lukewarm_mess: not if you’re going to be all groomzilla at me, king

Deltatangofoxtrot: i will name my firstborn after you

StandardDeviation: Stan?  >.>

lukewarm_mess: what if I want something small

Deltatangofoxtrot: or devi if its a girl

StandardDeviation: Devi is pretty.  Okay, I approve

lukewarm_mess: family only, maybe on the beach

KingElsa: A hundred people?

StandardDeviation: I’ll PM you when she gets back to me

lukewarm_mess: twenty.  MAYBE.

Deltatangofoxtrot: srsly you are my hero

KingElsa: …Per side?

lukewarm_mess: in total

KingElsa: ( ｡ •́ ︿ •̀ ｡ )

KingElsa: You’re breaking my heart.

Deltatangofoxtrot: STICK TO YOUR GUNS MESS

KingElsa: Stay out of this, you… you elopement advocate!  My tender soul lies in pieces at Mess’ feet.  I can’t go on.

StandardDeviation: Oh lord

KingElsa: Bury me in silk and seed pearls!

KingElsa: Scatter rose petals and string quartets on my grave!

StandardDeviation: *facepalms at the sheer extra*

lukewarm_mess: we can have our dogs be ring bearers though

KingElsa: G A S P

KingElsa: *clasps hands together*

KingElsa: You do love me!

Deltatangofoxtrot: those two deserve eachother

lukewarm_mess: (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ω ⁄<⁄ ⁄)

StandardDeviation: *nod nod*

lukewarm_mess: anyway, back to the travel food thing…

lukewarm_mess: does anyone have any suggestions for good places to eat in chicago?

StandardDeviation: Summer trip?  Nice

lukewarm_mess: autumn trip, actually.  peach and i are making plans to drive out for a weekend

Deltatangofoxtrot: superdawg for hot dogs

Deltatangofoxtrot: giordanos or pequods for pizza

StandardDeviation: I’ve never been, sorry

KingElsa: I always make it a point to go to Alinea.

Deltatangofoxtrot: O.o

KingElsa: The chef there is a mad genius.

Deltatangofoxtrot: damn king how much do you think a poor college student can afford

lukewarm_mess: oh, is it pricey?

Deltatangofoxtrot: does the pope shit in the woods?

lukewarm_mess: ?????

StandardDeviation: He means yes, mess

lukewarm_mess: um.  ok?

Deltatangofoxtrot: like really yes

KingElsa: Maybe a bit.  It’s worth every penny, though.

lukewarm_mess: wait

lukewarm_mess: does that mean he does though?

KingElsa: I… also don’t understand that phrase.

lukewarm_mess: i mean why would he go outside when he lives in a palace or something

lukewarm_mess: doesn’t make any sense

StandardDeviation: It’s just a stupid saying, guys

StandardDeviation: A mixup of two other stupid sayings.  It was in a movie

KingElsa: English is weird.

lukewarm_mess: *nods* ESL SOLIDARITY

iamworthy: Excuse you, AMERICAN English is weird.  PROPER English is normal

iamworthy: *goes back to lurking*

KingElsa: *fistbumps Mess*

lukewarm_mess: AESL SOLIDARITY?

iamworthy: Also cheers, fox

Deltatangofoxtrot: ty ^^

KingElsa: Actually, I’ll be in Illinois myself in October.  I need to make reservations before they get booked up – thanks for reminding me!

Yuuri blinked at the chat window.  What were the chances that he’d be in the same state as King, at the same time?  Not that his Skate America schedule would leave much room for socializing, but… maybe?  If the timing worked out?  If they were close enough to drive?  If he and Phichit left a day or so early, or stayed a bit late?

He tapped out a private message before he could second-guess himself.

/msg KingElsa what dates, if you don’t mind me asking

*KingElsa>> 20-27 Oct.  Why?

He sucked in a breath.  The competition was scheduled for the weekend of the twenty-fifth.  Their visits would absolutely overlap.  And if KingElsa was talking about making reservations at a Chicago restaurant, he must surely be staying in the general area of the city, right?

/msg KingElsa that’s when we’re planning on being there

Do you want to meet up somewhere, Yuuri didn’t type.  Wow what a crazy coincidence, was keyed and deleted.  Do you like me, because I think I might like you and Phichit even agrees because he stopped giving me a hard time about you and he only stops teasing when he doesn’t want to scare me off of something… yeah, no.  All the no.  Nope, even.  Hell nope.

Yuuri realized that he had been staring into space for over a minute.  It was too long a pause.  Whatever he said was going to be weird and awkward now.  Just like Yuuri was weird and awkward.  The little blinking cursor was mocking him.  King hadn’t replied yet, either.  He must be waiting for Yuuri to finish his thought.  Which was a problem because Yuuri was waiting for Yuuri to finish his thought.  His ears were burning, his breaths starting to come shallow and quick.  Say something! he commanded himself in desperation.  Anything!

Yuuri closed his eyes, held his breath, and keyboard mashed.

/msg KingElsa do you think you want ot meet for coffe emaybe

And he waited.

KingElsa didn’t reply.

Of course he doesn’t want to see you in real life, the cruel little voice of his anxiety whispered.  He’s rich and successful, the top of his field he said.  The restaurants he goes to have actual chefs and menus with no prices listed.  He even manages his depression without help.  And who are you?  You’re just a mediocre skater with three prescriptions and a therapist, whose college professor who is flunking you for missing too much class.  You’re too jittery, too awkward, too shy, too boring, too everything.  Too Yuuri.

His hands were shaking as he typed, his vision starting to blur around the edges as he hit the enter key, but he wasn’t so far into his head yet that he didn’t notice the two new lines displayed on the screen.

*KingElsa>> I’m sorry but I really don’t think I’ll be able to

*lukewarm_mess>> KingElsa:  you know hwat never mind so rry it was a dumb idea im sorry i’pp just go now

Well.  There was really nothing more to be said, was there?

Yuuri slammed the laptop lid closed just as the panic crashed over him like a wave.

*            *            *

“Don’t look,” Yuuri cautioned Phichit before taking a deep breath and opening his SMS app.  There were a lot of messages from KingElsa.  He’d known that King was texting him; it was why he had shut off his notifications.

“Of course not,” Phichit huffed in mock offense.  He had already stuffed his earbuds into his ears and pulled up something to watch on YouTube, but he continued his slow petting of Yuuri’s hair.  He really was the best friend ever.

Yuuri deliberately didn’t read the flood of texts that he’d received over the last few days.  At best they’d be super nice and he’d feel even worse about ignoring them.  At worst…

Even Yuuri’s broken brain had a hard time believing that KingElsa needed seventy six individual text messages just to tell him to go fuck himself.

But what to write?  Sorry I’m a human trash fire but you knew that when you met me, unless you didn’t actually believe me at the time, in which case: surprise!?  No.  That sounded like he was fishing for reassurance, and Yuuri wanted things with King to go back to what they had been before, not force the man to be kind to him out of obligation.  It was best to just keep things short and honest.

(a/n: Apparently I can’t right-justify in tumblr?  so quick and dirty hack: Mess’ texts are in italics.  King’s are in bold.  Sorry, going away now)

hi

I know it’s super late in Europe so you’re probably asleep

but I wanted to say I’m sorry for freaking out at you

It was odd how tapping out three little sentences could make him feel so much better.  Yuuri had built the situation up in his head until it was a towering monster of guilt and fear and then he hid from it, even though he knew from long experience that running away could only feed that particular type of beast and make it stronger.  It wasn’t slain yet – wouldn’t be until after King saw his messages and they were able to talk, probably tomorrow – but just facing it was the hard part.

“It’s getting late,” he told Phichit, raising his voice slightly to be heard over whatever his friend was watching.  “We should probably call Uber Mike to come get us, maybe get some dinner?”

“Dinner with Uber Mike?” Phichit was back to teasing him, and all was right with the world.  “I didn’t realize you two had hit it off so well!”

“Funny.  You know what I—”  A new word bubble appeared on the screen.

Mess!!

<3 <3 <3

I missed you!

Phichit rolled his eyes fondly at Yuuri’s expression and went back to his video.

I’m so sorry

I missed you too

You don’t need to apologize.

I just got really nervous

about asking you to meet irl

it’s totally okay if you don’t want to

I did!

I mean, I do.

It’s just… complicated?

I understand complicated

My time is pretty booked while I’m in the US

Even when I’m free I’m already going out with a bunch of people

and I know you don’t do crowds.

well I feel dumb

If/when we do meet I want you to feel comfortable!

Don’t feel dumb.

I just can’t help thinking that there’s no way someone like you could be interested

in someone like me

You are many things, but you have never been dumb!

many things like…

a mess?

The lukewarmest of messes! <3

I had to look that word up when we met, you know.

Your English is better than mine.

And I never went to university at all, much less had a double major!

So you’re super smart and hardworking.

And you can dance better than me.

you’ve never seen me dance

Whose fault is that, I wonder.

it’s embarrassing

I don’t want you to think badly of me

Solnyshko.  That is NEVER going to happen.

I know. I do

I just

wait what does that word mean

It means sunshine.  Because that’s what you are.

if you say so

I do say so!

But…

but?

Ah, and there it was.  The ‘but’.  The pet name was so sweet – and Yuuri had never been given a nickname before – but King was just using it to cushion a blow.  He had always been so kind and thoughtful that way.

The dreaded ellipsis kept appearing and disappearing below Yuuri’s last comment.  King must be struggling for words.

To tell the honest truth, I’m also kind of scared to meet face-to-face.

Yuuri let out the breath he’d been holding.  Was that all?

that makes total sense

I could be an axe murderer

No!  I trust you.

I trust you and I do want to meet you one day.

And see you dance!

I just…

More ellipses.  A longer pause.

I don’t want things to change between us.

And I’m terrified that they will.

Even if you don’t see me any differently other people will want a piece of you

And I’m selfish, Mess

I want to keep you to myself for as long as I can

Yuuri blinked.  Who was this man?

Are you an idol?

A movie star?

Haha no, nothing like that

But I do model, among other things

It’s a rather public lifestyle

I understand

Of course he did.  Even a dime-a-dozen skater had to deal with publicity when competing on the international stage.  Public interviews and sponsorships were all part of the package.  Yuuri had even featured in a few magazine ads of his own, including one very embarrassing Calvin Klein ad in which he’d worn a pair of jeans so tight they might as well have been painted on.  Nothing else; just jeans and a smile.  The thought of what King – or anyone! – might think of him if that was their reference…

He shuddered in sympathy.

let’s make a deal then

you be king and I’ll be mess

no expectations

no judgment

just us

No dance videos??

no

well

:/

maybe someday

Nobody’s ever asked me to just be me before, you know

I’ll probably be awful at it

you seem to be doing just fine to me

^^

“Whoops, our ride’s here!”  Phichit was apologetic, but Yuuri smiled at him as he rolled off the blanket so that it could be folded and stowed in the now-empty cooler.

I have to go, uber is here.  ttyl?

Of course.  I’m always around!

Sparing a last fond glance at his phone, Yuuri blacked the screen with his thumb and slid the device into his pocket.  He and Phichit kept a companionable silence as they walked back through the empty park to go meet their driver – Uber Christina this time – and head home.

If Yuuri had remembered to turn his notifications back on, he would have seen King’s final two texts well before dinner, before Mario Kart, before toothpaste and pajamas and goodnight hugs.  It was just as well.  The sharp intake of breath, the hands covering his mouth, the tears prickling his eyes; these were private things, and not to be shared with strangers or even beloved friends.

You’re one of my reasons, you know.

Good night, solnyshko.

<Part 6> 

[mybirdsongphotography]

Imagine this sequence leading up to my work day:

All my flights are delayed, but thankfully not canceled, so I manage to make it into Orlando the night before my shoot. Bonus- the sweetest couple ever who is picking me up? They are night owls like I am and were down to pick me up from the airport much later than I originally thought.

We stayed up talking and laughing most of the night, while I ate their Trader Joe’s buffalo chicken dip… and I’m pretty sure my soul needed every second of it (the laughter and the buffalo dip). I also had no idea how much I needed the scent of lavender oil to linger around my head to put my crazy spinning brain right to sleep.

They had my favorite Dave’s Killer Bread (if you know, you know) ready for me in their kitchen so I could have breakfast before my Uber picked me up that morning. That Uber showed up at an hour that I haven’t seen on a clock (with an A.M. next to it) in years.

I opened the door to said Uber car, and the driver had Lizzo pumping on the radio singing “I do my hair toss, check my nails, baby how you feelin” …and I let him know immediately that I could not do one single hair toss until I had some coffee in my veins, and I needed to be feeling good as heck for the work day ahead of me. 

As he started the pit stop to Starbucks, and as I ordered on my app to skip the line- he casually assumed “oh, you’re a character in one of the parks?” 😂 If you’ve met me, you know nothing would make me happier than to pretend to be Merida at Disney World. 

I explained that I was lucky enough to shoot there for the day, and as he dropped me off at the final destination, he wished me all the luck braving the crowds. Growing up in South Florida, we took trips up to Disney for vacations, so I knew exactly how packed it could get. 

The possibility of a crowd has never stopped my excitement about Disney,  and I felt like a kid on vacation again taking the ferry ride over to the park.

At that point, there was fog everywhere, and you couldn’t see the castle like you usually could. Last time I was here was with Connor and Dave, and Connor freaked out with excitement the moment he could see the castle, and I realized I had not even told Connor I would be at the Magic Kingdom for work. I didn’t know if he’d be excited or mad he wasn’t there.

Now, here I am… caffeinated, kid free, and waltzing into the park right as it opens with my gear in my backpack that’s designed to keep the weight off of you during long hikes... totally ready to go. Abbie shoots me a text saying they are running late, and that she is so sorry.

Sorry? What could she be sorry for... I AM AT DISNEY WORLD! I laughed (okay, I sent a laughing emoji) and told her it was the best place she could possibly be late to a session, and not to rush.

I walked around Cinderella’s castle, before the parades and shows, and browsed parts of Main Street that I had never taken time to really slowly see or appreciate before. I think the a cappella group serenading the street crowds made it seem like I was in my own musical.  And just think- all of this joy was before the session even started.

The fog lifted as Abbie & Esteban came in, looking like the most dapper Disney couple that ever was, and I knew we’d be set for the day. Now go scroll through some of these morning photos. Yep. Her bright yellow Mickey Mouse shoes have been the talk of the town since I posted their first sneak peek, and you can see why. Now if you’re planning on doing a session in heels, be smart like Abbie… bring flats to walk in between locations.

We even had a character from the Country Bear Jamboree add his own mini dance session as we were walking to take a break…. aaaaand it’s reasons like this that I could hardly put down my camera the whole day.

It must be said, though… I had one of the best work breaks a girl could ask for. A guided tour was going on the whole day anyway- if you haven’t gone on over to instagram and followed @DisneyPrincessAbbie – go do it. Her outfits are all adorable, her giveaways would make any Disney fan happy, and she has all the tricks and tips of the best Disney park goer out there.

One of the most asked about photos is this one, and I am more than excited that we were able to get it!

Dream photo for both of us!

  When we stopped for lunch, we put our name in with enough time to go put our bags into a locker so my shoulders could start singing hymns of freedom while we ate. They treated me to amazing dishes at the Jungle Navigation Skipper Canteen and a delicious glass of wine that I ordered strictly because it’s name referenced the Black Pearl from Pirates of the Caribbean… and now I can’t go back to just eating a hot dog on Main Street for my park lunch. I know I’m not alone in being the person who typically packs a bag full of snacks to get me through a day at these theme parks, right?

We even rode the rides together, had a Starbucks break… and then started shooting photos again as the sun set.

Disney Details

Disney Parade and Minnie dress- perfect combo.

Best spot of Cinderella’s castle

Most romantic Disney portrait #madewithmagmod

Made with Magmod gear -Maggrid with magenta

  That sky could not have been more perfect for those castle shots. I would insert a swooning noise if I could, but thankfully I don’t know how.

Now I will let you scroll through our day- and then you can enjoy our night spent watching the fireworks show and completely closing down the park. Being the only ones in Tomorrow land (if you’re on instagram you saw how excited I was on my stories!) and closing out Main Street was magic in itself.

  Best views of Cinderella’s Castle

Cutest Disney Save the Date ideas

How cute are their Disney save the date ideas? 

Best hidden gem photo spots at Magic Kingdom

Classic Little Mermaid dress at Ariel’s Castle

Romantic Disney Fireworks shot? Yes please.

Reminds me of all the lights in Tangled.

Watching Tink fly…

Can you spot Tinkerbell?

Disney fireworks finale

Tomorrow Land all to ourselves at Disney World

So happy we got a shot here!

  A huge thank you to Abbie and Esteban and my feet and shoulders for all being such troopers during this entire day. I wish nothing but the best for your Disney wedding!

  My instagram, where you can follow along more adventures and more of my not-so-together-act of being a mom is right here: @Photographeramy

Abbie’s instagram, where you can find every day Disney inspiration is right here: @DisneyPrincessAbbie 

Engagement Session Location: The one and only Walt Disney World, Magic Kingdom

All photos taken with: Canon gear and Magmod attachments for my flashes.

Share with photo credit: On instagram @PhotographerAmy and on Facebook you can type the same thing for my business page to pop up- Elizabeth Birdsong Photography. 

  Happiest Place on earth, for sure. Might be the only place that I have shot for longer than I did for a NYC session. Click to find out why! Imagine this sequence leading up to my work day: All my flights are delayed, but thankfully not canceled, so I manage to make it into Orlando the night before my shoot.

[thesmallcast]

Three Bs to Three Ps

My last trip to New Zealand I overdid it, as I always do. This time it was also a build up of events on either side, Australia Day, meaning it was a short week. A last-minute trip to Melbourne for work, followed by a 2-day team workshop straight into a flight to Auckland. It was a delayed flight which meant I didn’t arrive till 1am on Saturday and got up again within 4 hours sleep to see as many people as I possibly could. As soon as I came back to Sydney, I didn’t have a day to play catch up, I ended up catching a cold, was out of routine, tired and felt overall lousy.  I still need to work on taking more time for me, though maybe I just need to make time when I come back to relax before jumping back into work. I felt I had more downtime than most trips hanging with my little niece.

Coming back to Sydney I have been keeping busy. It was an eventful weekend, to say the least

Friday, I went to AA which I hadn’t been in some time and I naturally just started walking down to the group meeting. I use to go on Friday nights, which were what my therapist called “Danger Fridays”. They are just Fridays these days. At this particular meeting, they had a speaker night, which is what they have every second week. This is where I had an encounter with a DILF, an attractive 45-year-old man that reignited my bedroom intimacy. He was well dressed, his accent, his stories, I was strangely attracted to this man - I didn’t want anything further with him other than lusting over him. It was the strangest experience and feeling. I went home and ended up playing with myself which I hadn’t had in so long, getting intimate with myself was something I had struggled with for some time in terms of being super hands on.  

Saturday, I went to the sex shop and made a couple of purchases, which was followed by having a raunchy Scottish uber driver making a move on me and letting a tattooed punk watch me play with myself.  I also got asked out by a crazy Italian who wasn’t bad looking. It was also nice to be asked out in the train station #organic. A nice ego-boosting weekend.

Sunday, A coffee date with a really nice guy who set the gold standard of dating. Paul and I only had a coffee but we had an easy conversation, was relatable, it felt good, he was good looking. He asked me on a second date ( a first). We both had pretty busy weeks with my Mum in town and I also had a wedding so we decided to catch up on the Monday following. During that time I barely heard from him. I had a moment of why is he not messaging, in my head I thought “Of course, the one guy I had a great date with I don’t hear from”. I did have a moment of over analysing the situation. The weekend approached and the wedding had passed, I rung him. He seemed taken by surprise by my call and said he would message me. He messaged me to tell me that some personal things had come up and he’s not ready to be dating. I was slightly disappointed however it just wasn’t meant to be. I also was super proud because I had a moment of rejection earlier in the week but I then took a step back and thought - Well I have now learnt how I want a first date to look and who would succeed to a second date, I learnt that I want easy conversation and flow.

At the wedding, I met a new P, PBJ, well not so new. I knew PBJ from my friend group, though he was engaged to be married and surprisingly we never had one on one chats when we hung out. Heading to the wedding I wasn’t expecting to meet anyone especially as I knew everyone in our friend group. Paul was recently single and he just seemed so happy, full of energy, I really liked it and I was getting a really good vibe. We started talking. I felt we could have just kept talking all night. We danced and hung out for part of the night. As the night was wrapping I went up and said, “ This may be inappropriate, I had fun getting to know you tonight, would you be keen to hang out again?”.  He said “ In what context”,  I said “ whatever context”. He ended up messaging me and we ended up going on a date the following Wednesday. I had so much fun! We had dinner, went to golf putt and had ice cream. The conversation just flowed. The only red flag was he recently came out of a long term relationship and she was a hot topic of conversation during the night. I liked that he was open and honest about it but generally you don’t want the ex to be the main subject of the night! PBJ isn’t my usual type of guy I would go for physically, he is smaller than me but I was attracted to him after interacting on Saturday.  At the end of the night, he dropped me home and ended up getting a sly kiss in and asking me on a second date… A SECOND DATE!!!

The second date ended up being lunch, a walk and a swim. Again, we have endless things to talk about but again ex was a common theme in conversation. I wasn’t sure if I was 100 per cent physically attracted which I didn't want to dwell on because he had an attractive face, I also am on the view that an emotional connection can also help to control that. We went back to PBJ’s to have dinner and watch a horror movie. While chilling on the balcony, his ex had shown up to drop off his opal card he had lent her (that day!). She saw that he was not alone. He started to freak out. It made me feel super uncomfortable, he didn’t know whether to go down and see her or what to do. He didn't go down, though if he had it would have been the end. The moment passed, we ended up watching movies and hanging out. He kissed me and things were getting a bit steamy. I had decided that I would sleep with him and stay the night. Sex was super good, it was restricted due to his ribs being fractured though it still got me there. I do feel he needs healing from his ex.  Long story, short. Their relationship ended due to her wanting a polygamous relationship and he wasn’t up for that. She had wanted it from day one and had started experimenting with it which was uncomfortable for PBJ so he ended it.

I was holding reservations about PBJ, he truly was ticking all boxes though I was confused. I ended up catching up with the tattooed punk, who I am physically attracted but not at all emotionally. He is an absolute meathead, we are not aligned on the same values. We ended up getting together, and I instantly felt so guilty, sad and just wanted PBJ. I spoke to my therapist about it the week following and she said that its all part of my complex from childhood to be wanted and validated, though I was on the fence about that. I just didn’t know what I wanted and whether I was just settling or my feelings. The learning I took away was that I don’t want to see or be with anyone other than PBJ, and the connection we have is a real one. We weren't exclusive so I was allowed to explore my options. 

PBJ and I have now been seeing each other for 4 weeks, at one point spending the whole weekend together. I am happy and enjoying how things are. I know that I had plans to pack up and leave to Europe and I need to just assess myself and make sure I am being as transparent with PBJ as he is to me. Just going with the flow and seeing where it goes. It's super nice to be able to be myself with someone. Time will tell.