#in case... anyone is looking for art of that specific ending

[crocsforgeckos]

screenshot redraw!!!!! (karen pls take me back, i know i made gingi piss in the bank but you don't get it, i'm literally neurodivergent and a minor)

plus the actual art and a textless version:3

[imsobadatnicknames2]

How can you consider yourself any sort of leftist when you defend AI art bullshit? You literally simp for AI techbros and have the gall to pretend you're against big corporations?? Get fucked

I don't "defend" AI art. I think a particular old post of mine that a lot of people tend to read in bad faith must be making the rounds again lmao.

Took me a good while to reply to this because you know what? I decided to make something positive out of this and use this as an opportunity to outline what I ACTUALLY believe about AI art. If anyone seeing this decides to read it in good or bad faith... Welp, your choice I guess.

I have several criticisms of the way the proliferation of AI art generators and LLMs is making a lot of things worse. Some of these are things I have voiced in the past, some of these are things I haven't until now:

Most image and text AI generators are fine-tuned to produce nothing but the most agreeable, generically pretty content slop, pretty much immediately squandering their potential to be used as genuinely interesting artistic tools with anything to offer in terms of a unique aesthetic experience (AI video still manages to look bizarre and interesting but it's getting there too)

In the entertainment industry and a lot of other fields, AI image generation is getting incorporated into production pipelines in ways that lead to the immiseration of working artists, being used to justify either lower wages or straight-up layoffs, and this is something that needs to be fought against. That's why I unconditionally supported the SAG-AFTRA strikes last year and will unconditionally support any collective action to address AI art as a concrete labor issue

In most fields where it's being integrated, AI art is vastly inferior to human artists in any use case where you need anything other than to make a superficially pretty picture really fast. If you need to do anything like ask for revisions or minor corrections, give very specific descriptions of how objects and people are interacting with each other, or just like. generate several pictures of the same thing and have them stay consistent with each other, you NEED human artists and it's preposterous to think they can be replaced by AI.

There is a lot of art of the internet that consists of the most generically pretty, cookie-cutter anime waifu-adjacent slop that has zero artistic or emotional value to either the people seeing it or the person churning it out, and while this certainly was A Thing before the advent of AI art generators, generative AI has made it extremely easy to become the kind of person who churns it out and floods online art spaces with it.

Similarly, LLMs make it extremely easy to generate massive volumes of texts, pages, articles, listicles and what have you that are generic vapid SEO-friendly pap at best and bizzarre nonsense misinformation at worst, drowning useful information in a sea of vapid noise and rendering internet searches increasingly useless.

The way LLMs are being incorporated into customer service and similar services not only, again, encourages further immiseration of customer service workers, but it's also completely useless for most customers.

A very annoyingly vocal part the population of AI art enthusiasts, fanatics and promoters do tend to talk about it in a way that directly or indirectly demeans the merit and skill of human artists and implies that they think of anyone who sees anything worthwile in the process of creation itself rather than the end product as stupid or deluded.

So you can probably tell by now that I don't hold AI art or writing in very high regard. However (and here's the part that'll get me called an AI techbro, or get people telling me that I'm just jealous of REAL artists because I lack the drive to create art of my own, or whatever else) I do have some criticisms of the way people have been responding to it, and have voiced such criticisms in the past.

I think a lot of the opposition to AI art has critstallized around unexamined gut reactions, whipping up a moral panic, and pressure to outwardly display an acceptable level of disdain for it. And in particular I think this climate has made a lot of people very prone to either uncritically entertain and adopt regressive ideas about Intellectual Propety, OR reveal previously held regressive ideas about Intellectual Property that are now suddenly more socially acceptable to express:

(I wanna preface this section by stating that I'm a staunch intellectual property abolitionist for the same reason I'm a private property abolitionist. If you think the existence of intellectual property is a good thing, a lot of my ideas about a lot of stuff are gonna be unpalatable to you. Not much I can do about it.)

A lot of people are suddenly throwing their support behind any proposal that promises stricter copyright regulations to combat AI art, when a lot of these also have the potential to severely udnermine fair use laws and fuck over a lot of independent artist for the benefit of big companies.

It was very worrying to see a lot of fanfic authors in particular clap for the George R R Martin OpenAI lawsuit because well... a lot of them don't realize that fanfic is a hobby that's in a position that's VERY legally precarious at best, that legally speaking using someone else's characters in your fanfic is a much of a violation of copyright law as stright up stealing entire passages, and that any regulation that can be used against the latter can be extended against the former.

Similarly, a lot of artists were cheering for the lawsuit against AI art models trained to mimic the style of specific artists. Which I agree is an extremely scummy thinbg to do (just like a human artist making a living from ripping off someone else's work is also extremely scummy), but I don't think every scummy act necessarily needs to be punishable by law, and some of them would in fact leave people worse off if they were. All this to say: If you are an artist, and ESPECIALLY a fan artist, trust me. You DON'T wanna live in a world where there's precedent for people's artstyles to be considered intellectual property in any legally enforceable way. I know you wanna hurt AI art people but this is one avenue that's not worth it.

Especially worrying to me as an indie musician has been to see people mention the strict copyright laws of the music industry as a positive thing that they wanna emulate. "this would never happen in the music industry because they value their artists copyright" idk maybe this is a the grass is greener type of situation but I'm telling you, you DON'T wanna live in a world where copyright law in the visual arts world works the way it does in the music industry. It's not worth it.

I've seen at least one person compare AI art model training to music sampling and say "there's a reason why they cracked down on sampling" as if the death of sampling due to stricter copyright laws was a good thing and not literally one of the worst things to happen in the history of music which nearly destroyed several primarily black music genres. Of course this is anecdotal because it's just One Guy I Saw Once, but you can see what I mean about how uncritical support for copyright law as a tool against AI can lead people to adopt increasingly regressive ideas about copyright.

Similarly, I've seen at least one person go "you know what? Collages should be considered art theft too, fuck you" over an argument where someone else compared AI art to collages. Again, same point as above.

Similarly, I take issue with the way a lot of people seem EXTREMELY personally invested in proving AI art is Not Real Art. I not only find this discussion unproductive, but also similarly dangerously prone to validating very reactionary ideas about The Nature Of Art that shouldn't really be entertained. Also it's a discussion rife with intellectual dishonesty and unevenly applied definition as standards.

When a lot of people present the argument of AI art not being art because the definition of art is this and that, they try to pretend that this is the definition of art the've always operated under and believed in, even when a lot of the time it's blatantly obvious that they're constructing their definition on the spot and deliberately trying to do so in such a way that it doesn't include AI art.

They never succeed at it, btw. I've seen several dozen different "AI art isn't art because art is [definition]". I've seen exactly zero of those where trying to seriously apply that definition in any context outside of trying to prove AI art isn't art doesn't end up in it accidentally excluding one or more non-AI artforms, usually reflecting the author's blindspots with regard to the different forms of artistic expression.

(However, this is moot because, again, these are rarely definitions that these people actually believe in or adhere to outside of trying to win "Is AI art real art?" discussions.)

Especially worrying when the definition they construct is built around stuff like Effort or Skill or Dedication or The Divine Human Spirit. You would not be happy about the kinds of art that have traditionally been excluded from Real Art using similar definitions.

Seriously when everyone was celebrating that the Catholic Church came out to say AI art isn't real art and sharing it as if it was validating and not Extremely Worrying that the arguments they'd been using against AI art sounded nearly identical to things TradCaths believe I was like. Well alright :T You can make all the "I never thought I'd die fighting side by side with a catholic" legolas and gimli memes you want, but it won't change the fact that the argument being made by the catholic church was a profoundly conservative one and nearly identical to arguments used to dismiss the artistic merit of certain forms of "degenerate" art and everyone was just uncritically sharing it, completely unconcerned with what kind of worldview they were lending validity to by sharing it.

Remember when the discourse about the Gay Sex cats pic was going on? One of the things I remember the most from that time was when someone went "Tell me a definition of art that excludes this picture without also excluding Fountain by Duchamp" and how just. Literally no one was able to do it. A LOT of people tried to argue some variation of "Well, Fountain is art and this image isn't because what turns fountain into art is Intent. Duchamp's choice to show a urinal at an art gallery as if it was art confers it an element of artistic intent that this image lacks" when like. Didn't by that same logic OP's choice to post the image on tumblr as if it was art also confer it artistic intent in the same way? Didn't that argument actually kinda end up accidentally validating the artistic status of every piece of AI art ever posted on social media? That moment it clicked for me that a lot of these definitions require applying certain concepts extremely selectively in order to make sense for the people using them.

A lot of people also try to argue it isn't Real Art based on the fact that most AI art is vapid but like. If being vapid definitionally excludes something from being art you're going to have to exclude a whooole lot of stuff along with it. AI art is vapid. A lot of art is too, I don't think this argument works either.

Like, look, I'm not really invested in trying to argue in favor of The Artistic Merits of AI art but I also find it extremely hard to ignore how trying to categorically define AI art as Not Real Art not only is unproductive but also requires either a) applying certain parts of your definition of art extremely selectively, b) constructing a definition of art so convoluted and full of weird caveats as to be functionally useless, or c) validating extremely reactionary conservative ideas about what Real Art is.

Some stray thoughts that don't fit any of the above sections.

I've occassionally seen people respond to AI art being used for shitposts like "A lot of people have affordable commissions, you could have paid someone like $30 to draw this for you instead of using the plagiarism algorithm and exploiting the work of real artists" and sorry but if you consider paying an artist a rate that amounts to like $5 for several hours of work a LESS exploitative alternative I think you've got something fucked up going on with your priorities.

Also it's kinda funny when people comment on the aforementioned shitposts with some variation of "see, the usage of AI art robs it of all humor because the thing that makes shitposts funny is when you consider the fact that someone would spend so much time and effort in something so stupid" because like. Yeah that is part of the humor SOMETIMES but also people share and laugh at low effort shitposts all the time. Again you're constructing a definition that you don't actually believe in anywhere outside of this type of conversations. Just say you don't like that it's AI art because you think it's morally wrong and stop being disingenuous.

So yeah, this is pretty much everything I believe about the topic.

I don't "defend" AI art, but my opposition to it is firmly rooted in my principles, and that means I refuse to uncritically accept any anti-AI art argument that goes against those same principles.

If you think not accepting and parroting every Anti-AI art argument I encounter because some of them are ideologically rooted in things I disagree with makes me indistinguishable from "AI techbros" you're working under a fucked up dichotomy.

[dentos-wife]

Let’s talk how about Chrom and Robin’s bond evolved over time

With everyone clamoring over the new emblem I wanted to take a look back how we got here with their relationship and why I think at this point Chrobin is the intended or inferred Chrom pairing when it didn’t used to be.

In 2012 we got Fire Emblem Awakening, and as Chrom was related to Marth, his inferred pairing was Sumia a pegasus knight as a nod to Caeda, Marth’s canon wife. Granted because part of Awakening’s charm is you could pair anyone up, you didn’t have to pair Chrom up with Sumia if you didn’t wish to. But to IS she was the intended choice.

She had special scenes with Chrom and was the most likely to end up paired with him if you weren’t gunning for a specific wife for him

And you see her here in the opening with Lucina

Robin is you, the avatar, they don’t even have official art, just them with a hood

They had a canon design what we all know now but it wasn’t really used. And that should have been it as far as IS was concerned. Awakening was their last hurrah. And then FE blew up.

Robin’s canon design is now getting used, both the male and female version are now in Smash Bros. Then we have Warriors and Heroes and the Awakening cast shows up more. But not Sumia. Perhaps it’s because she’s not popular or the people flocked to Cordelia instead but she is the pegusus knight everyone loves. Sumia isn’t even in Warriors or the base FEH she gets added much later to FEH only with other less popular Awakening characters.

It’s here when FE became more maintstream I believe that IS changed their tune on Sumia being the intended wife and retconed it. I fully think Sumia was dropped and they no longer had an intended pairing for him all because she just wasn’t popular. Him and Robin were close of course they always were, obviously some would see it as friendship others would see it as something more the usual nothing really changed there.

And then 2022 ten full years after Awakening’s release...this happened

Couple things here. I fully believe the reason Chrom was paired with MRobin here instead of FRobin is for two big reasons reasons.

1) If they paired him with FRobin it canonizes a pairing so MRobin is the safer option, FEH doesn’t usually pair men and women unless they’re already a pairing. So MRobin got paired with Chrom and FRobin was on her own but she still has lines about how much Chrom meant to her.

2) MRobin is the more popular Robin as has been shown every year in CYL and he’d even win next year

So Chrom and Robin were always close it was a no brainer to make them a duo unit, they picked the male version on a very family oriented banner.

That said some of these lines...well let’s just say if a man and a woman were saying that to each other there would be no doubt here. Imagine if this Robin was the female version

Robin: There's Lissa, Emmeryn, Lucina, Frederick... I think we've got gifts for everyone. Don't we? Chrom: Well, all but one. What would you like your gift to be, Robin? Robin: What? Me? You can't just come out and ask like that, you know. There are rules! Chrom: You know I don't care about that. Just tell me what you want. Robin: Truthfully...I can't think of anything. Chrom: You don't want anything? Aw, come on. Think of the bind that puts me in. Robin: You gave my life meaning when I had nothing—not even my memory. The sense of purpose I've found at your side, working for peace in the world, is all I could ever ask for. Chrom: You're not alone in that, you know. I feel the same way. That's why I wanted to give you something nice. To show you how I feel. Robin: All right, all right. In that case, why don't you give me one of those flowers you're wearing? Chrom: It's only going to wilt. Robin: I'll press it into one of my books. That way I'll never forget this Day of Devotion.

Snippet from their duo convo. Usually when someone gives flowers it’s considered a pretty romantic gesture I’ve heard plenty of people call this alt playfully the gays and yeah this is very strong.

FRobin even comments on them in one of her lines.

“That man with Chrom is a Robin from another world, right? They get along so well, I'm almost jealous...“

There was no need for that line at all, we can tell from their lines how flipping close they are but they felt the need to have another character comment on it in base lines

I do believe MRobin was used not to canonize a pairing...at first. And then they gave up because it looked like people really liked it going even further in the next year.

In Awakening Chrom and Robin refer to themselves as two halves of the same whole which is already a loaded term. But it’s never been used after and was just part of the game

Enter the next time they pair up as the Emblem of Bonds which brought that back for the first time since 2012, in full force

Correct me if I’m wrong but no one besides them have referred to each other as their other half in Awakening

Lucina does it in Engage. For reference other half means husband, wife or partner (romantic). I think after the Valentine’s alt they decided sure why not and now they’re really going in with Robin being Chrom’s other half when they only touched the term once past Awakening in a FRobin cipher card. Other half in Engage is Robin and he pops up when engaged with Chrom to mix magic with the attack. I don’t doubt you can mean a friend with this term but when paired with everything else they say to each other, it’s pretty strong evidence it’s further than friendship.

Okay now for the the ultimate Robin is now Chrom’s intended partner view, Legendary Robin also released this year

“Tactician of Ylisse. Celebrated as Exalt Chrom's other half in the legends that followed their exploits. Appears in Fire Emblem Awakening. “

I saw some people argue exalt could mean Lucina too but no it doesn’t, it clearly means Chorm it says so and if you didn’t believe that, we got a map that was the two called Chrom and his other half. Which is Robin.

His art also references his other half status, he now wears blueish green jewelry which stands for Chrom and the brand of the exalt is on his chest plate

Finally in his damage art he once again has the symbol of the exalt formed in magic.

And a ring, some have argued it’s his clothes but usually the magic gauntlets he wears are on his middle finger and not under his gloves; pretty sure it’s a ring, it’s even on the ring finger of his left hand, where you generally put a wedding ring.

All this together is some very strong evidence, but put it with everything else they’ve done since last year and it’s clear to me, IS now is pushing Chrom and Robin as the intended pairing. Not canon like Marth and Caeda or Alm and Celica, but intended like they do with Eliwood and Ninian and some others I’m probably forgetting. And because MRobin is who they use and their “canon” sort of like FCorrin is the “canon” Corrin, IS is strongly hinting at MChrobin

Which fascinates me, we went from Chrom with a intended implied wife to scrapping it and pretended it never happened to this, Chrom with an intended husband. Him and his best friend, both two guys, very much in love. In ten years IS changed it’s mind on the intended canon pairing that isn’t even possible in the base game. They are a fate defying duo, the emblem of bonds, the exalt and his other half, two halves of the same whole and they are showing that in symbolism harder than ever. I think that’s really cool

To end this I’m aroace and see romance a little differently from the amatonormic norm Chrom and Robin could just be really good friends lord knows I also think friendship should be just as important as romance BUT if they were, it’s very clear they are each others most important person over any wife they might separately have.  But even that doesn’t follow a typical heteronormative relationship no? Chrom and Robin’s bonds are so strong they transcend the concept of romance and friendship as we know it, there is no name for the type of love they share it’s beyond us.

But what about Lucina? (and Morgan) In a world with magic, dragons, people dying and coming back to life, time travel and more the idea of two guys somehow having a child is no longer far fetched at all really, or even surrogates exist.

Also they act like kind of like dads with her and it’s really cute

Now granted IS could remake Awakening and MRobin will still not be able to marry Chrom and this whole analysis would have been for naught but I think if they do remake it they’ll add it. Look at how many people have been introduced to them just through Heroes and Engage you don’t think people are going to want to pair up the exalt and his other half in their game?

To sum it up, yes there literally is no heterosexual explanation for where IS has taken this. It wasn’t originally the intended pairing but it sure is now, I don’t think there is any room for denial anymore until we see what they do with a remake.

[ownedbyfictionalwomen]

big questions

student!bucky barnes x fem!reader

when bucky's crush comes to him needing his help with school, he ends up aiding her in more ways than one. not before she can ask him a question or two (specifically about his muscles). fluff + smut! 18+ 2.8kwords.

!protected p in v sex, a lotta nerves, some nervy fluff! divider: @firefly-graphics

So beautiful. That was the only thought in his head as he watched you laugh with your friends on the other side of the cafeteria, your head was thrown back in friendly ecstasy and your eyes were glowing with joy. Sometimes he wished he could be the one to cause that reaction in you.

But you and Bucky didn’t talk much: you were in different crowds, belonged to different labels, and had different interests. Whilst you spent your time socialising with anyone that you could and being that welcoming smiling face for everyone to rely on, Bucky preferred to study in the library or hide out in the art classroom with his paintbrushes and canvases. 

Although you were all the things that he could ever want personified, he was still very intimidated by you and liked it better when he was just admiring you from afar and not embarrassing himself in front of you by tripping over his words.

Distracted, he stood up and threw his half-eaten sandwich and empty bottle of water into the bin, swinging his backpack over his broad shoulder as he made his way towards the exit, on his way to class. He managed to force his eyes away from you as his hand met the cold oak of the cafeteria door, pushing it open and out into the busy corridor, filling with other students on their way to their lessons.

Bucky shared some of his classrooms with you, and in this one, he was lucky enough to be sitting right next to you. Just as he was flipping his notebook to the next available page, you wandered inside, multiple pairs of lips singing a “hello” as you pulled out your chair next to Bucky’s.

“Hey, Buck.” You said, a cheerful tilt to your words. Bucky replied with a tight-lipped smile, knowing that if he spoke it would be just above a whisper and probably littered with a voice crack or two.

He hoped he didn’t come across as rude or unamicable, but he would much rather take that over having to live through the humiliation of trying to talk to you and having only silence come out of his mouth. But, honestly, you liked the quietness that came with Bucky and how he would nod, chuckle or even just smile at you when you were going off on a tangent in class, silently asking him to be the listener you so desperately craved.

So, although Bucky had never actually spoken a word to you before, he had learned an awful lot about you just through being present and offering an ear. That’s what made you so comfortable around Bucky, and now English was the lesson you looked forward to most, just because he was there with you. 

Bucky expected you to start talking as soon as your backside hit the seat, but you remained quiet as you dug through his pencil case and took a pen for yourself, writing the date in your book and waiting for the teacher to arrive. 

Five minutes ticked by and you still hadn’t said a word. Very unlike her. 

Slowly, Bucky’s worry wrestled with his fear of shame until he brought his fist up to his mouth and cleared his throat, readying his vocal cords for use and putting off all the awkward possibilities of how this could go. 

“You okay, Y/n?” 

Your eyes met his as he finished his question, slightly wide and confused as you registered that he had been the one to speak, as well as… how sexy his voice was. It hit you deep in the pit of your stomach, a feeling no one else had really managed to erupt in you, and yet here Bucky was doing it so easily.

“Umm… not really. Just school stuff though, it’ll be okay.” You said, still managing to grace him with a happy smile as you turned back to your paper, mindlessly flicking the corner of the page. 

“I can help you study or something if you want.” The offer left him before he had time to think about it, he was just acting on instinct and trying his best to save his pretty girl from distress. 

“You would do that? Really?” You asked, your eyes lighting up with hope as your hand latched onto his arm, checking he was still real. You were in anguished need of a little aid right about now- with two papers due at the end of the week and your hold on motivation slipping, Bucky was your only hope.

The guy in question could only nod his head slowly as the heat from your palm radiated through his arm, distracting his thoughts and turning them into mush. Fuck, she’s touching me.

“Great! Is today after school okay for you?” You asked, releasing his arm and turning back to the front to pay attention to the class that was just starting. Bucky could only manage a quiet sound of agreement before he too turned around, trying his hardest to focus on the information being thrown his way.

You were trying to concentrate, the feeling of Bucky’s hard bicep still present in your hand as you crossed your legs and squeezed your thighs together, trying to dispel some of the tension. Whilst you worked on taking down some notes and ridding your mind of anything inappropriate, you started workshopping some more ways to get Bucky to talk again.

So, you decided to throw caution ot the wind and feed your curiosity and ask a question that had been on your mind for quite a while…

“Hey, Buck.” You started, grabbing his attention,” you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to but, how did you get so big?” 

You squeezed that bicep of his for good measure, letting him know that you were talking about muscles and not anything else… 

Bucky’s pen slowed as he focussed his attention on your question and the answer he would inevitably have to give to you. He had spoken once today already, he could totally do it again. At least he hoped he could. 

“My… my dad works in construction and I help him on the weekends, that’s all.” He answered quietly, giving you another glimpse of that deep voice you were quickly becoming addicted to, whilst also trying to use his long hair as a shield to hide his blush.

“Makes sense. Do you ever work shirtless?” You questioned, unable to stop the cheeky giggle from escaping you at the sight of his eyebrows raising. 

“Sometimes, when it’s hot.” Bucky replied, logical as ever. He wasn’t blind to your flirting, but he had convinced himself that it really wasn’t what it seemed to be- a stunning girl like you had no interest in him. There’s no way. 

You laughed quietly at him, finding his analytical answer to be cute and endearing, far from the images circulating your mind; mainly Bucky’s abs. But you managed to push through until the end of class, walking out and into the hall with him on your way to his car. He pulled the door open for you when you reached it, making you swoon at his chivalry as you sat in the leather seat, your eyes trained on his ass  through the windscreen as he made his way to the driver’s side.

Bucky’s hand was itching to hold onto your thigh as he drove, he had seen the romantic gesture in films and with other couples and longed to do it with you. Maybe he would at some point…

His back was leaning comfortably against the side of your bed as he sat on the floor, the soft mattress supporting his shoulders as he typed on his laptop, helping you come up with a plan for one of your essays. You watched his fingers dance across the keyboard, his forearms flexing and installing more pictures inside you.

The horniness had gradually been building up, starting with a small throb in your clit but now you feel your slick wetting the cotton of your underwear as you lay on your stomach on your bed, looking over Bucky’s head. Bucky was, unaware of your movements as he gave all of his attention to the screen. Your hands started at his shoulders, moving down slowly to lay on his hard chest, giving his pecs a little squeeze.

“Do you wanna take a break, Bucky?” You asked, bringing your lips right up to his neck and placing a little kiss on his soft skin. He didn’t know what to do or how to react, so he just froze and kept his eyes straight, worrying that if they ventured he wouldn’t be able to control himself.

“Sure.” He managed to whisper, closing the lid on his computer and sliding it off his lap. 

You climbed off the bed as gracefully as you could, making sure your short flowing skirt wasn’t revealing too much to the gorgeous man sitting beneath you. His eyes trailed the skin of your bare thighs, imagining the sight that he would see if he just reached forward and lifted up the material covering you. 

He had dreamed of that moment more times than he could remember: the feeling on your soft body perfectly moulding with his, the adorable moans and whimpers you would let out, the way you would wrap so tightly around him. Of course, Bucky had never had a chance to put these plans into motion, with anyone, as his perpetual nerves limited his opportunities of talking to girls. 

You were the only one he wanted anyway.

As you sat down between his legs, close enough that you could lay your hands on his thighs, both of your heartbeats picked up to an uncomfortable pace- you had never been so nervous. Bucky kept his hands locked on his tummy, trying to dispel the urge to touch you as you looked at him subtly, picking at a loose thread on your rug.

“I have another question,” you asked quietly, moving your hand so it was resting on his knee, “and you have to promise to answer.”

Bucky nodded.

“Do you like me?” 

His head shot up, eyes wide and full of tension, not managing to hide the truth like he so desperately wished he could. He was never good under pressure, always managing to let his truths and feelings be shown through his blue eyes, it was like a by-product of the anxiety.

You giggled to yourself, looking back down at the floor as you processed the information, trying to think of the best way to let him know that you felt the same way. Straddling his lap and lacing your hands through his hair seemed way too forward, so you settled for getting up on your knees and leaning towards him, your faces inches apart.

“I like you too, handsome.” 

The kisses started on his cheeks, leaving behind glossy pink lip prints all over his face, as he basked in the glory that your lips pressed into him, feeling almost as cherished as he wanted to make you feel. You had every intention of staying knelt in front of him, but that subdued confidence started assembling in Bucky again, to the point where he reached forward, a hand in between your thighs, pushing them apart and pulling each one towards him until you were straddling him, the way you thought about earlier. 

Laying your hands on his pecs again, unable to stop yourself from squidging them one more time, you laughed as he flexed them under your fingers beforeyou moved your attention to his biceps, tightening your hands on those too. 

“You’re so big.” 

“Just you wait.” He laughed, not realising he had actually said that out loud until your wandering hands stilled and your eyes met his again, his brain racking with worry. 

“And you’re funny too.” You said, chuckling at his innuendo, letting your hands drift down his stomach and closer to his crotch, itching to get your hands on him. But you knew there was a huge possibility that Bucky wasn’t ready to go that far, so you stopped what you were doing and looked up at him again.

“Do you wanna have sex, Buck?” 

“Yeah.” 

With confirmation safely in your hands, you reached under his shirt, grabbed the hem and pulled it up and off of him, watching the way his muscles moved. You had no time to oggle him, as Bucky went for your shirt too, tugging it over your head in one swift motion, before reaching behind and unclasping your bra.

The two of you were a mess of desperation, clothes finding themselves on the floor before you had any idea they had even come off your body, Bucky’s hands ripping the cotton from you in a deep excitement to have you.

“Condom?” He asked against your lips, bringing you back to sit on his naked lap, his throbbing cock laying comfortably against his tummy. You hummed, acknowledging his question and reaching over to your bedside table from your place on the floor, pulling out the unopened box.

“Never done this before so…” You explained, signalling to the sealed pack you were struggling to rip into. Bucky laid his hands on yours, stopping your floundering and easily popping it open and taking one out.

“This is a first for both of us.” 

You smiled at that, a morsel of nervousness leaving your head as you relaxed into his chest, one hand of his grazing up and down your back as he used his other and his teeth to open the condom. Your head was resting on his shoulder, giving every inch of flesh you could reach a kiss.

Whilst you were feathering smooches across Bucky’s chest, he managed to work his way around the protection, struggling for only a second, before he was sliding his tip through your folds, making you shudder. 

But as you were about to lower yourself down on him for the first time, he held your hips up, stopping you, as he pushed himself onto his feet, turning around and facing the bed, laying you gently on the mattress. Shuffling backwards into the middle of the bed and watching as Bucky climbed up with you, laying himself in between your legs and grabbing the base of his cock, you smiled sweetly at him. 

“Do it, Bucky.” 

He slid inside with one smooth thrust, his thickness opening you up tenderly as he lowered himself down on you, holding himself up on his forearms which were laid on either side of your head. You whimpered with every movement, every loving plunge of his cock, every bump of your clit against his front, every soothing kiss he placed on your forehead.

“Shit… You feel so good.” He groaned, weakening his actions in order to drag it out for longer, just nudging that special spot inside of you with his tip and gently teasing your walls open. “Does it feel good for you?”  

“So fucking good.” Your eyes were closed tightly, ensuring that the feeling of him entering you had no distractions, as you gripped his shoulders and wrapped your legs around him, driving him in deeper.

“Oh my God, Bucky.” You whispered, a sentence littered with whimpers and happiness as he sucked a bouquet of little hickies onto your neck. 

At one point, Bucky really started to torture you; sitting back on his knees, holding your legs up and apart, putting your perfect little pussy on display and watching his cock split you open over and over again. The change of position was sweet torment, hitting parts of you that made you have to bite down on your lip to stop the screaming… until Bucky slid his thumb into your mouth for you to suck on.

And that’s how you came: drooling on your man’s thumb imagining it was his cock in your mouth, whilst he instead pushed into you, changing his pace from time to time just to tease you. 

It made your legs drop open even wider, a rush of wetness pouring out of you as Bucky finished too, an almost-pained moan leaving him as his hands hugged your hips tightly. He kept ahold of you as he pulled out, leaving you momentarily to get rid of the condom before coming back and laying down next to you and pulling you onto his chest. 

“I’m gonna ask you another question,” You said, a few minutes later, after your breathing had returned to normal, “can we do that again?”

[astupidweeb69]

Can u do more Toby headcannons? I been keeping up with his story for so long and I love the way u portray him as and making him into a more deeper character.

Sure! I can give a couple more headcannons. I hope none of this is too repetitive or already made obvious in my other writing but here goes.

Ticci Toby Headcannons:

Toby has a softer spot for women. His sister and mother were the only kind people in his life, so although he suffers from some amnesia due to Slenderman's influence, he's held onto this bias subconsciously.

That's not saying he treats women well (He doesn't treat anyone that great). He just tends to lash out at men more.

I also think this is the same reason why Tim and him struggle to get along. Tim is older, a control freak, and has a domineering personality, so he reminds Toby of his father, especially when he's constantly barking orders at him.

He believes what he wants to believe. Meaning he interprets people's actions however it suits him. If he wants to continue hating a person he'll look for reasons to. If he wants to believe a person likes him back (either platonically or romantically) he'll convince himself that's the case. Because at the end of the day, he doesn't care too much about other people's actual thoughts and feelings. He doesn't like when reality doesn't fit the narrative in his head, so if a person rejects him, he'll probably end up killing them.

In the case of Yandere! Toby, I think he's definitely the type to accidentally kill his Darling. Especially if you're a regular human being. He's a ticking time bomb, you have to constantly walk on egg shells around him.

When he attended school (back before he was homeschooled). he loved art. Specifically working with clay or paint, anything where he could get his hands dirty. He also used to love creative writing. Though he got in trouble for writing stories that were too.... dark.

The journal he keeps has a lot of drawings in it too. Usually the pages are filled with whatever his latest obsession is. There are a lot of disturbing pictures in there so it's not for the feint of heart.

Don't go into the basement in his cabin without his permission. That's his... "freak out" space.

Anyway, here are more of my thoughts.

[dailyhatsune]

hi! not exactly a request but i do wanna ask, whats your process when you're rendering more paint like art? (if that makes sense, English isnt my first language so apologies hdskhsjdbd) i really love how you use the colors and im curious how you do it :0

i’ve been meaning to answer this one for a while so here’s how i painted miku in today’s post (put under the read more because yeah prepare for a long post

i’d also like to preface this by saying that i never follow a set way of doing things, so in terms of what my personal process is like, these are only broad strokes of what i do! sometimes i’ll combine or skip parts entirely, depending on how i feel. also, this is not a tutorial, just how i do things, so please don’t treat it like one :’D this will read like the ‘how to draw an owl’ picture if you do

first, like every artist, i sketch. more specifically, i’m getting an idea of what i want to paint later on. this could be how a scene is set up or in this case, how a character is posed. here i’m not concerned about details or getting everything perfectly, i’m only planning how the thing will be composed. maybe a lot of canvas size changing, or adjusting what miku’s doing (note how busted miku’s right hand looks from all the transforming!) however, i still have to be concerned with how clear the sketch will be to future me, because the sketch won’t be any good if i can’t read what miku’s doing

after that, i lay down a flat gray under the sketch, mainly focusing on giving miku a clear silhouette. this is also a good time to make adjustments to the composition on the fly if i suddenly feel like something can be improved upon, like shortening miku’s left arm from the sketch!

after painting a flat silhouette, i start shading in grayscale, focusing only on lighting. i usually do it in two passes, one for the lightest and darkest tones i’ll use (not black and white) and then a second for midtones to blend them better with the base gray but i forgot to screenshot the result of the first pass 🗿 nevertheless, here is where i can start adding some amount of details. i’m not including any extra accessories yet, just focusing on the base design of the outfit and the character herself (for anyone wanting to draw characters from That Gacha Game, this is how i personally make the process more bearable for myself.) i still use the dark gray to separate where certain details (like the facial features and fingers) begin and end, mainly to make colouring more bearable later.

now here’s where i get the Good Colours. it’s a cheat lol. i put a gradient map layer over the grayscale painting so that there’s a little bit of color to start. some gradient maps can be applied as is, some need the layer settings adjusted to make it look good. this one, for example, is a (free) gradient map set from the csp assets store that needs you to set the layer opacity to 20% and to set the blending mode to color to achieve this result. in general, i tend to pick which gradient map i want to use based on vibes, or basically whether i want the work to be warmer or cooler, colour-wise. but this does do quite a bit of lifting for the colors in my stuff.

and then, finally, i add the colours. i add flat base colours in an overlay layer. at this stage, i’ve made the character silhouette clear enough that i don’t need to refer to the sketch anymore for what miku looks like. also, the gradient map layer does its magic by making the shading a bit more vibrant than it would’ve been without it. after that i paint over with a new layer to add details like the lace.

and then i put some extra shading on top. basically this is where the ‘better lighting’ happens. again, this isn’t a tutorial, so i’m not here to say what each part of the lighting is, but i’ve labeled which layers do which job. in other works where the lighting within a scene is more defined (from a window, from a small crack in the walls, etc) the glow dodge layer may be more opaque and sharper, but since this isn’t a work with that, the lighting was applied using an airbrush. the linear burn layer is also there to make the whole thing darker so the glow dodge doesn’t end up oversaturating miku. i also usually match the lights to the vibe i want, and use a complementary color for the shadows. so here you can see i have warm colors on the glow dodge layer, but light purple on both the linear burn and multiply layer.

and that’s it for the character—here’s a gif showing how each layer adds to miku! (sorry it’s so toasty)

as for the background, depending on the complexity, it may go through a similar process, or if i can settle with flat image backgrounds, i just go for that. it’s ok to use external image materials. i didn’t have a background in mind for this miku in specific, so i got some default csp materials and threw together something

and that’s about a rough overview of what my process for more finished works looks like! again, art is a fluid process so i never specifically stick to certain steps all the time, and you shouldn’t either. i can probably answer why i’d pick this colour over another in one particular work, but it’s something that kinda has to be learned on a grander scale. i think everyone can already feel what colors work with what atmosphere or what setting, even if they can’t immediately explain why. colors and composition do take some level of experimentation to find what works best!

[kierongillen]

i have to know - as a disco elysium fan who didnt do disco, what would you say is essential disco listening for me?

I'm hugely behind on the asks, but I have to answer this one, because I'm going to answer a connected but completely different question, and then maybe then loop back to you. I'm just looking for an excuse to ramble, and do the writer equivalent of a warm-up sketch (i.e. waste time).

My apologies.

If you wake up and decide that you want to get into a whole genre of music, there's basically two tactics.

(There's also the "Why would anyone care to get into something they don't care about", which is one of the few things I have a "There's two sorts of people..." response to - those who when presented by something unknown either think "why should I know about that?" or "why don't I know about that?" I'm the latter, and it's served me well.)

The first tactic is simple.

Jump on a genre with Best Of in the title and follow your pleasure response. Here's a Spotify one. What interests you? What excited you? What makes you laugh? Probably explore more of that. If not, indulge widely, and see what sticks. At a glance, Disco playlists seem to have the problem of most playlists, in that strictly not everything on it is disco per se. For example, Dancing Queen strictly speaking isn't a disco song - but it's a song about disco, in every way. But if anything has found its way on a playlist, it's found its way on for a reason.

In your case, you're interested in what Disco resonates with Disco Elysium. Which I've bought for C, but not played, but I'm aware of in a "if I was still a games journalist, this is clearly one I would write a lot about." I spent years writing about Planescape Torment, and I know a spiritual successor when I see one.

This makes me think the area you want is basically the classier end - the big bleak emotions, the chilliness, the control, lonely on a dancefloor, lonely everywhere, oh-so-much cocaine, and - to steal Paul Lester's line - glass mountains on fire.

Which leads back to the second way of getting into a genre of music - which is to hit a major artist, and hit them hard.

When asked about "how shall I get into a band" my advice is actually the opposite of what I'm about to give. If you just want to get into a band, get Best Of, see what tracks you like, then go to the albums they're from. But if you're trying to get into a whole genre of music, that's a more serious endeavour, and may reward the opposite approach.

Basically pick a key album from a key band, and get into it, and grow from there. Read about the band - you don't need much, but a little helps. Learn how to listen to what their tracks do. And then you use that band as the single point of knowledge you have to orientate yourself to everything else you listen afterwarads.

There's a huge danger to this - basically, no-one is more ignorant than someone with a little knowledge. You have to be aware that you are the person who knows a bit about Boss Baby, and using that to get into things other than Boss Baby.

The strength is that it's a more holistic, lived in knowledge than just skimming the surface. You understand the music better as an artifact of their times, made by people, responding to their specific situation - which adds different flavours to your appreciation of it. Sure, your own response and how it finds a place in your life is always the thing which over-rules anything else - but the more you can listen for, the more you can hear, the more you can get from a work of art.

Anyway - I'm telling you to go and listen to Risque by Chic.

Chic are basically fucking awesome. If you don't know Disco at all, the opening Good Times chilly ironic take on American late-seventies culture is a great and (I suspect) Disco Elysium relevant intro. You'll know it as a sample, if nothing else, and the eight minutes version that opens Risque is a great way to think about it as both music for dancing (it is endless) and music for listening (it is boundless).

I got Risque as Paul Lester went to bat for it so hard in the Unknown Pleasures book the Maker stuck on the cover in 1995 (it was covering 20 albums that had fell out of the critical conversation, and it absolutely changed the dirction of my listening in the period). Here's Lester writing about Risque more recently for a taste, as the original piece doesn't appear to be online. I just read it in my copy, and it's a burst of love, describing it Disco as music about love - never sex, only love, and mainly love that is denied. That seems solid, at least for the best of chic.

Risque is the Chic album that Lloyd from Phonogram would have been listening to, certainly. I know I did.

(Plus At Last I Am Free from C'est Chic, obv)

There's a lot of Chic to listen to - their own work, especially in the period, and all their productions. Their work with Sister Sledge is of particular import - Lost In Music was one of the working title for Phonogram, and you can see and hear why. They're also the Disco band whose influence is perhaps most obvious in other bands. Everyone liked Chic. No Chic, no Orange Juice, no Orange Juice, no Smiths, etc.

Sister Sledge was the first live band I was at. My mum went to see them when she was eight and a half months pregnant. The temptration to say I'd have heard Lost in Music then and sold is tempting, but ahistorical - it's well before their work with Chic.

Anyway - get into Chic. It'll make your life better - and when your life isn't better, it's a superior context to lose yourself.

However, to go back to your question, as a Disco Elysium fan, I'm not sure it's actually THIS Disco you're looking for.

How about Disco Inferno?

Not Disco at all, but most like itself than anything else, which sounds like what I understand about Disco Elysium. right?

(DI Goes Pop is the starting place)

[nyxmainex]

I finished it guys. I finished them. IN A DAY.

Be it, they are VERY rushed and look as such, but I AM PROUD OF MYSELF FOR ONCE.

@velnna @bara-izu @necromosss

Fanart for your characters.

(Warnings: Me rambling)

If any of the artist I made this for see this, I hope you like it even maybe a portion as much as I do. Maybe more. Genuinely, each of these three artists inspire me to continue my hobby of making art. The reason I even do this hobby is to share it in hopes to inspire others. As much courage as it takes for me to even make these much less post them is just proof to myself how far I've come in terms of social interaction. I thank my friend, my mom and teacher for supporting my hobbies and specifically convincing me to make this. I'm off on a ramble, apologies.

I really do hope you like this. Each character has something I added to them, and I explain in their dedicated paragraph. Then you also get an overall part:).

MIRA ♡

Necromosss is the second BG3 artist I found on Tumblr and I adore their art. Everytime I see Moss post, I promise you I immediately spread it to my friends just so they get the recognition they deserve.

Mira was the last character I ended up drawing, and is definitely the most hurried and sloppy. I made hers pretty late, close to the time I sleep, yet I do feel proud of how I made her. Imagining Mira in the stories I've created, I believe she'd fit in with Meladonia, a kingdom of ghosts, poison, and death. Overlooking the main theme, Meladonia's queen, Chamixie (and funny enough, my character who romanced Gale), is a very lighthearted, flirty person. She, while respecting death and it's concepts, is always up to make an occasional joke. She doesn't take everything personally, and I think she'd get alone well with Mira. The Meladonia magic is dark magic known at Kalak. 'Mixie (Chamixie's nickname) created Kalak as a form of a way to express herself. Kalak magic is not negative, and it's not harmful. In fact, Kalak magic is meant to heal and embrace your fears to use positively. Most of the time, using Kalak magic causes small white, almost snake-like slits to form in the pupil of the user's eyes.

I hope you like how I drew her!:)

STAEVE ☆

MAF is the first BG3 artist I found on Tumblr. I can't put in to words how much they've inspired me. Me and my mom both love Staeve, we think he's great, and I can't wait to see more art from Velnna.

Staeve is the first character I drew, and though not as rushed as Mira's, I wasn't confident drawing him. I'm not too sure about how I drew him, though I do hope anyone reading this likes it. Much like Mira, I imagine he'd be from Meladonia if put in my stories.

In case you haven't read about Kalak magic, I'll copy it: The Meladonia magic is dark magic known at Kalak. 'Mixie (Chamixie's nickname) created Kalak as a form of a way to express herself. Kalak magic is not negative, and it's not harmful. In fact, Kalak magic is meant to heal and embrace your fears to use positively. Most of the time, using Kalak magic causes small white, almost snake-like slits to form in the pupil of the user's eyes.

I've, as an anon, told Velnna about one version of my first OC (Broodmother Nera). And she's a version of my main five characters. Her and Chamixie are sisters, four years apart (Nera is 28). Chamixie is a much more sort of flirty person and takes everything told to her with a drop of comedy, unless it's extremely serious (ex: any abuse) as she has experienced negative situations herself. I imagine that she'd want to be friends with Staeve as long as he wants to, but would likely rather protect him even if he doesn't want to be friends. Staeve reminds Chamixie of Alison, the youngest of the five sisters, and was Chamixie's previous life's bio daughter. Even if they are sisters in this life, Chamixie still, while not overprotective, is cautious around Alison. To an extent, Staeve gives off a similar vibe as Alison, and 'Mixie would do more than her best to help Staeve without being overbearing.

I hope this is interesting enough, and that you enjoy how I drew Staeve.

HALION ◇

I have so much trouble remembering how to write this lovely man's name, please correct me if it's wrong, I have terrible memory.

I recently found Bara, and I love all their characters. (No joke though, I ran to my mom to show her your characters). Halion is definitely one of my favourites.

I was the most confident creating Halion, and I genuinely am proud of my art. This is honestly one of the few times I do feel proud of myself. From the posts I read, which is not too many, I love his cheery personality. He makes me believe he'd be from Parfi if he was in my stories. Parfi is the kingdom of the Wasteland, but is known for war, previously known for lust, but after Lord Clemin became the ruler, she changed it to accommodate travellers. While it was re-built for wars, she's made it a beacon of light within a desert. That reminds me of Halion. Clemin, as a ruler, comes off as strong and demanding. But out of all five of the rulers, and as the second oldest sister, she's very soft. Even with her own insecurities, she lifts people up and encourages their positive ambitions. She's actually not very confident, even though presenting as such. Even if she is very silent, and kind of reserved, she'd feel comfortable with talking to Halion.

She created Taei magic, the magic of heat. Taei magic is considered neutral magic, and though she has used it negatively on herself, Taei was meant to be positive. Using Taei magic is essentially holding the essence of a flame, and it's a guiding light to find others. Clemin wants the people of her and her sister's kingdoms to never have to experience what any of them did/do. Using it reflects a flame in the user's eyes.

I hope you agree he'd be from Parfi, and if not, tell me why:)! I also hope you like the art I made for him.

OVERALL/EXTRA

I'm sorry this post is so long, and I wanted to be finish setting up my blog when I made this but I'm just too impatient to do so. The reason this post is so long is because while I could've made art of any artist I enjoy, these three artists inspired me the most. (And I'm an overthinker, so I want to make sure you understand how much I appreciate these artists.)

I hope you enjoy the ideas I had and the art I made. I love all three of these pieces I've made, and I love the original art that they were based on more. And if it's alright with the artists, I'd love to draw more!:)

While writing this, my hands are shaking. Ignore any mistakes in the writing.

(References)

Mira: (her Notion page)

Staeve:

This

And this

Halion:

This

This

And this

PROGRAMS USED:

Infinite painter for lineart and Clip Studio Paint (pro) for everything else.

Edit: LOOKING BACK AT THIS, IT'S SO SAPPY AND LONG I'M SORRRYYYYYY

[babycharmander]

TW ANTISEMITISM. THERE WILL BE DEPICTIONS OF ANTISEMITIC ARTWORK AND TEXT IN THIS POST.

Okay so, this is not the kind of post I normally make, ever, nor a sort of post I ever wanted to make. But this is an incredibly important issue that goes beyond fandom stuff, and I've talked with a few other people about it to confirm that it is something concerning.

I want to start by saying that I am not Jewish, but I know that you should never let antisemitism get its foot in the door. (If anyone who reads this is Jewish and needs to correct me on anything, please do so immediately.)

This was posted to the tags yesterday:

[ID: A screenshot of a post from @/liu4ka. The caption at the top reads "well he looks at me / and i look at him / and then he smiles" in very small, stylized text. The image below is artwork of Otto, facing right, with his eyes squinted and his mouth in a skewed, toothy grin, with his hands held up in a strange way. /end ID]

This picture looks perfectly fine at first glance... but the thing is, that caption you see there was not the original caption. I managed to get a screenshot of it before it was changed, and the original caption was this:

[ID: A screenshot of the original caption of the above post, which reads "well he looks at me / and i look at him / and then he smiles like sly jew" /end ID]

That's... a weird way to describe a smile. I'd wondered if this was referencing something, and apparently the first two lines are lyrics from a Weird Al song, but the third line is definitely not. That was making alarm bells ring in my mind, along with the pose Otto was in (which I'll explain in a moment).

Still, I wanted to give this user the benefit of a doubt, because it's entirely possible to unknowingly say something that sounds Bad. So I looked at their other account on VK (which is a Russian website that is, as I understand it, similar to Facebook--they have the same name there and post some of the same art). It didn't take me long before I found... this (photo taken with the google translate app). (I hate sharing this, but I need to show proof here):

[ID: A photo of a computer screen taken from the Google Translate app. It features a character facing right, with their eyes narrowed and with a toothy grin on their face and their hands clasped in a specific way in reference to the "happy merchant" Nazi meme. The caption reads "SCARY JEWISH MUSIC PLAYS." /end ID]

It's not in the screenshot here, but the post this was in also had a song linked with it whose title directly referenced the "happy merchant" meme.

If you're not familiar with that meme, please look it up, as I'm NOT comfortable putting that image on my blog. But it's an image people should be familiar with because it is VERY FREQUENTLY referenced by white supremacists and nazis, and that's what's being referenced here.

Obviously not every single piece of art with a character giving a sly look is going to be a reference to that meme, but CONTEXT is important. The Otto image isn't posed exactly like the meme--the hands are not the same--but alongside the original caption AND given the other art this same artist has drawn, I don't think there's any room for doubt here.

What also doesn't help the case is that there was misinformation going around that Otto was canonically Jewish, so I don't think any of this is coincidental.

I feel awful writing this stuff up. I never wanted to make a post like this, but this was a case where I felt like I should not remain quiet. Once again, this is something that goes beyond fandom. Antisemitism is not something you ever, EVER want let through the door, ANYWHERE. I do not want it in this community, and you shouldn't either.

If any member of the Jewish community wants to correct me on anything or add to this, please do so.

Thank you.

[moralesmilesanhour]

Every time i think about atsv and its themes, my mind keeps going back to the scene with Miles and his parents in that college counselor’s office, and what its purpose is.

It establishes the strain that being Spider-Man has put on their relationship, yes - it also establishes that Miles feels trapped and limited, yes - but a lot of fandom discussion overlooks the important parallel that that scene sets in motion between racism in academia and Miles' rejection from Spider Society.

By now, everyone has already figured out that the issue with the 'Canon Event' theory is that it assumes that trauma - specifically experiencing the "right" traumatic events - is what makes a Spider-Man, and it is wrong for Miles to be required to accept this. It isn't enough that he had his uncle die, his father must die also because then he will have sacrificed "enough" to keep the canon intact. No one questions why arbitrary sacrifice is required at all.

The concept of the personal statement being required for college applications, I would like to argue, has the exact same issue.

Miles even says so in the beginning of the movie: "Having 'a story' in the first place sounds gross" (notice how Miles vocally critiques elite academia contantly and has been from the get-go. He is not an apolitical character like some might portray him to be).

It is not enough that Miles is an exceptional student with a variety of interests (art and science), he must have the appropriate traumatic "story" for white academic institutions to find him interesting enough as an applicant, even if the story they want him to tell is not actually his story (no, he is not from a "struggling immigrant family". They own an apartment floor and PR is in the United States). Just like the "Canon events" that Miguel describes are not Miles' story, and Miles does not want them to be because it requires the preventable deaths of innocent people.

In a similar way that has been touched upon more in wider fandom, Rio gives Miles a speech telling him not to let the people in these overwhelmingly-white spaces that he will be entering tell him that he doesn't belong. That speech, as we all know, ends up being a direct parallel to the way Spider Society treats him: he is simultaneously a charity case and a threat just by his mere presence. His very existence is disruptive to the canon: The spider wasn't "supposed" to bite him, he just got lucky. There is a reason why the visual of the ball with Miles' lottery number is constantly paired with the number on the spider that bit him; they are one and the same.

(Side note: this is also what makes Hobie's function as a character so interesting - The idea that you can just simply quit. You do not HAVE to be in these privileged spaces if they don't have your best interests in mind. You don't have to prove yourself to these people to be who you are. But that's a post for another day)

The reason I've been thinking about all this is because I feel like no one really touches upon why Miles' character exists. Like, on a thematic level. Yes, he's there to show that "anyone can wear the mask", but there's a lack of specificity in that statement that I wanted to address with this post.

Miles is a love letter to every black kid that's been told that they're only in the spaces they're in because they "got lucky". He's for every black kid that's ever looked at a college app and been told that they have to take their trauma and put it on display for some white admissions officer to shed a tear over. He's there to argue that you don't have to bend towards any of society's attempts to make a spectacle or a serviceable machine out of you, and that you can just be.

TL;DR: it was never just about the mask MWAH 🫶🏾

[enassbraid]

helloooo!! can I request a the pjsk boys with a reader who is "perfect"/popular (example: good grades, a lot of friends, talented in art/most school subjects, etc) but they actually hate it (bc people keep using it as an argument when the reader discusses about their grades)? I'm sorry if this is too specific bc this is basically a summary of me 😭 But anyway, thanks in advance, I love your writing <)

-> 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐁𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞…

You can’t help being a natural at almost anything you do, just like others can’t help seeing that as your only trait. Fortunately, there’s always someone who doesn’t see you only for your skills…

With Akito Shinonome, Toya Aoyagi, Tsukasa Tenma & Rui Kamishiro | Genre - Comfort with a fair amount of angst

Cw) anxiety, pent up emotions, belittling, fights (none between reader and characters listed above), it gets noticeably shorter during Tsukasa’s part cause I was tired

Akito felt honored at first. You, of all people, saw something good enough in him that was actually worth something. It almost didn’t feel real. But this type of thinking didn’t last long, not even a week in fact.

He quickly realized he shouldn’t have been idolizing you the way he was, and you were still a regular person just like him. You may be more skilled, intelligent and quicker than others, but you were still a regular high schooler at the end of the day.

But that didn’t make others think the same way.

You made everything look so easy, so simple. Your peers admired you for this, and held you up on the pedestal Akito once did. A part of him worried about you. After all, all these people can’t acknowledge any flaws you have. You should be happy, right?

But that wasn’t the case at all.

You felt pressured, anxious, worried. What if you messed something up? Would anyone ever see you the same way? Everything had to be perfect, it just has to.

The street singer recognized your thinking, it felt all too familiar to him. He assured you it’s okay to make mistakes, and not everything has to be perfect. But that’s what he thinks, what about what everyone else thinks? It didn’t take long for you to find that out however.

“Ah, I can’t believe I failed the exam… I didn’t think it’d be that hard!” One of your classmates said.

“Tell me about it, half the questions weren’t even on the study guide we got.” Another classmate replied.

The exam was… hard. But it wasn’t impossible. It felt like it was designed to challenge everyone rather than actually test the students. Even you flunked the test a bit.

“I bet you (Name) over there still managed to get a 100, right (Name)?” One of which called over to you, you didn’t bother to remember who though.

“Actually… I got a lower grade as well. 78 out of a 100. It was pretty difficult this time.” You replied.

You were hoping your words would make the others feel less failure. If you got a low grade- what they considered a perfect classmate and student- then they shouldn’t stress too much over their failures. Right?

You wish you were right.

“Are you kidding me? You get a 100 on like… everything! How did your grade drop that bad?” The girl scowled at you, feeling as if you were mocking her for some reason.

“Well it wasn’t the easiest, and it was designed to challenge us, including me.” You said back. Your two classmates looked at you in disbelief. Were you being serious?

“It’s different coming from you. You place in the top 10 all the time during these tests! Usually your first! You should have been the one who passed.” Ouch.

Those words hit you like a brick. Yeah… they were right, you were supposed to be the saving grace for the class’s average. And you went ahead and flopped just like everyone else? They were right, you had no excuse.

The bell rang and you picked up your bag, hastily walking out of the classroom. You couldn’t be seen like this, everyone’s going to find out…

Navigating the crowded hallways, you search for the school’s exit. The staff will only think you got sick and had to go home, no one would ever think of you as a class cutter. If it’s only one time… they shouldn’t mind.

Right as you were about to push the door open, a hand grabs your shoulder.

“Where do you think your going..?” A familiar voice asked.

You turn around, fearing the worst and expecting to make eye contact with a teacher.

“…without me.” He finished.

“Akito!”

He let go of your shoulder, figuring you got the hint. He chuckled a bit as your face showed relief. ‘They must have been really worried about getting caught.’ He thinks.

“Great to see you too. Now, would you answer the question?” His voice sounded stern, yet playful.

“It was just… a bad time today. In class I mean. Um, I don’t think I feel comfortable talking about it here though.” You said. The last thing you needed was for anyone to hear how badly you thought you screwed up.

“Alright then, lead the way.”

You looked both ways, making sure there were no witnesses nearby before pushing the door open and making a run for it, your boyfriend not far behind. You two ran for a few minutes until it was ensured no one was after you.

But neither of you quit moving. Akito wouldn’t say it himself, but he was also itching to get out of there, and was kinda grateful you were as well. Otherwise, he’d probably be suffering alone in school right now. You both were itching to get home- either of your homes.

Opening your front door- much calmer than the last door you opened, you didn’t waste a second to walk through. Kicking off your shoes and hanging your bag up, the ginger behind you following suit, you were finally home.

“So, what happened earlier?” He asked, throwing himself on your bed.He’s been wondering ever since he caught you at the school door, it was very out of character for you to.. rebel… like that.

“Right.. I had a little slip up in class. They were talking about tests grades- the most recent one they got. Everyone either failed or got below an 80, including me. I thought… I thought telling them I had a low grade as well would make them feel a bit better. But they got frustrated- saying something about how I can’t possibly fail a test.” You sighed, it was still fresh in your mind. Even as you crawled into your bed where you’re supposed to be calm.

Akito stayed silent for a moment, gathering his thoughts and thinking of the right words to use. Even if you didn’t say it flat out, he knew you were troubled at the thought of people thinking differently of you. You felt this strange ‘responsibility’ of maintaining this perfectionist reputation. He was never sure how to feel about that. Should he have reassured you more? Been more worried? He couldn’t help but feel guilty.

“You shouldn’t worry about what those bitches think. They clearly didn’t understand that test wasn’t meant to be passed with a perfect score, huh? You did though, and you still passed right? Even if you failed, that’s okay. At the end of the day… isn’t it just a number?”

You took a moment to process his words. He was right, you did still pass. Even if it wasn’t a perfect score… a passing grade is enough, right?

“You don’t like the way you are, don’t you?” He continued, this time getting past your imaginary mask.

You shook your head silently. Of course you didn’t. Everyone expects so much from you all the time, it’s so… stressful. You despised it, you’d do anything to be an average person.

He didn’t need you to say anything, your reaction was enough. He shifted closer to you so his presence felt less vague, it comforted you.

“I hope you realize you don’t have to do everything right, and I never want you to feel as if you have to keep that up around me.” Your heart warmed, of course he’d say that.

Even if everyone else wanted the most from you, Akito only wanted whatever you had to give. If it was nothing, that’s fine. You alone is enough for him.

It was hard for anyone to imagine Toya with a partner who’s so… outgoing. Even if it wasn’t intentional, you seemed to know anyone and everyone in the district. But as they say, opposites attract.

He never minded how well known you were. At times he may feel just a tad jealous when someone holds you up for too long, but besides that, it was never too much of a bother. He may not know what it’s like to be in your shoes, but he thought he had a good idea of what it was like.

Everyone knew you, almost all of them taking a liking to you. It was rare to hear of someone who disliked you for reasons other than jealousy. You must always have options when it comes to going out, and you’re probably entertained at functions like that often.

At least, that’s what Toya believed at first.

Slowly over time, he began to pick up on your sudden shifts in facial expressions. You were all smiles when an acquaintance came up to talk to you. But the moment they walked away, your face instantly dropped into what looked like annoyance.

You’d giggle with someone, but once they left you scoffed. You’d gossip with someone else, and once they left you’d roll your eyes. But not once did you verbally express complaint.

Toya was no idiot, he realized your stance on your popularity. You weren’t happy about it, at all. He intended in speaking to you about it eventually, but it came sooner than planned unexpectedly…

You were walking down the streets with Toya, on your way to meet up with his group at one of their favorite locations. There were more people walking than usual today, but you didn’t pay any mind to it, considering it irrelevant. But little did you know…

“Oh look, it’s (Name) and their boyfriend! How are you two?” A chipper girl said. She had an… odd… look in her eyes.

“We’re doing pretty good! We were just on our way to meet up with friends actually!” You smiled sweetly, but you felt sick to your stomach knowing who this girl was.

“That’s so cute! If you don’t mind, can me and my friends over there tag along? We won’t be a bother, I swear!” She practically squealed that first part, leaving your ears ringing.

Toya looked between you, the girl, and her friends a few feet away. He caught on to what you were thinking, thankfully.

“Apologies, but the meeting is exclusively for close friends. And we’re in a hurry, so if you’ll excuse us…”

‘He’s my saving grace’ You thought. Although, you thought just a little too soon.

“Wow (Name), you never said anything about your boyfriend being such a douche. You seriously gonna let him make these decisions for you?” You internally screamed at her, calling her all sorts of names. Of course, you refrained from this on the outside.

“He’s not making decisions for me, we are actually in a hurry and this meeting is exclusively for close friends. We need to get going now…” You took off, grabbing Toya’s hand in the process before she could say anything else.

You sighed, of course you had to have a run in like that on what was supposed to be a good day. Who knows what you’ll come home to hear this time. What’s it going to be now? You were a bitch to someone you barley knew simply because you didn’t want to be late? That is something they’d say to bring you down.

The hangout went smooth, no more random encounters with randoms. But the scene from earlier related over and over in your mind.

“(Name), are you alright?” Toya asked. He asked quietly in order to avoid attracting the attention of others, you found it considerate.

“I’m alright, just thinking. That’s all.” Liar.

Toya nodded, averting his attention back to the recording An and Akito were making him listen to. Apparently they were coming up with a new song for their next event, and wanted his input on it.

You found yourself dissociating from the group. It’s been hours, and you just wanted to get home to find out if anything new was spread about you.

“It’s getting late, I think me and (Name) are gonna head home now. Is that good, (Name)?” You practically jumped out of your seat when you heard “head home.”

“Yeah, I’m ready. I’m exhausted and need to go to sleep… I’ll see you all later!” You waved goodbye to everyone alongside Toya. Exiting Weekend Garage, making your way to Toya’s place.

The walk was silent, but a comfortable silent. Neither of you said a word the whole way to his place, but you still knew what the other was thinking.

Opening the door, he stepped aside to let you in first.

“We need to talk about something.” He said.

‘There it is…’ you thought. It was only a matter of time. He lead you upstairs to his room, hoping you’d be more comfortable talking in his own space. You took your spot on his bed, waiting for his next words.

“You’ve been acting strange, or I’ve noticed how strange you act. Specifically when your around people who seem to know you. Does that… make you uncomfortable?” Maybe it wasn’t the time to think of it, but you were relieved this wasn’t a breakup talk.

“It’s… complicated.”

“I’ll listen to any complications you have.”

Taking a deep breath, you let everything out. All the pent up frustration you’ve kept in for so long.

“I’m just so… annoyed. Annoyed with everyone. Not you of course, but all these other people. Everyone thinks I’m happy to hear their gossip about others, but it just makes me view everyone involved differently. Like that girl we saw today, she’s a cheating bitch who cheated on all her exes for some random guy she meets. And then if I tell anyone what I think of someone else, I’m the two-faced one.” You took another breath, you needed it after all that talking.

You threw your head back to the wall, sighing again. You weren’t even sure how it got like this, when all these people saw you as a comfort person. It was starting to stress you out.

Thankfully, Toya caught on. He took your hand in his and started rubbing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb. It’s the little actions that always mean the most.

“I couldn’t possibly know how you feel. But what I can tell you is that none of those people deserve you. If all they do is bad mouth others to you, messing with your head, then they could do the same thing back to you. You deserve the best possible friends out there, not people who think they know you.”

“You say I deserve the best friends, but I already have the best boyfriend, don’t I?” You pointed out. His cheeks flushed a bit, but only briefly.

You chuckled at his reaction, pulling him into a hug.

“Thank you, Toya. You’re the only person I ever want to know. Well, our other friends as well. But especially you.”

He smiled into your hair. Both of you were really lucky, huh?

You were always quite talented at the arts. Whether it be musical arts, visual arts, or any other type of art, it was guaranteed you would excel. This was what inevitably drew Tsukasa towards you. He found your talent admirable, and aspired to reach your level of skill one day.

Whenever you drew around him, he watched intently, starry eyes following every pencil stroke you made. Whenever you played an instrument near him, he’d drop whatever he was going to listen. It was almost spell-bounding to him.

You of course, appreciated his enthusiasm. But sometimes you wished he’d focus a little less on whatever your doing and focus more on you. You implied this discreetly once in a conversation, and he didn’t realize till later. Once he realized though, he thought it was better to focus on you more anyways.

If Tsukasa is able to pick up on that, shouldn’t anyone else be able to? You wished that was the case

You groaned out in frustration as yet another peer handed you their art assignment to “help” with. They disguised it as help, but in reality they only wanted you to finish it for them, that way they get a better grade. It was… annoying to say the least.

Examining what was left, it seemed possible to get it done before the class ends. You got to work immediately in order to avoid any more pestering later.

As usual, other students gathered over your shoulder. Some were a little too close for comfort, and it was starting to distract you. A lot.

“I’m sorry, but could you please back up a bit? You’re in my personal space and it’s pretty distracting.” You asked as politely as possible.

The male rolled his eyes a bit before backing up. You thought that would be the end of it- you wished that was the end of it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t.

“What do they mean they’re ‘distracted’? They were doing just fine when I was standing that close. Making a big deal out of nothing… geez.” He spoke up, a little too late after he moved away.

Your wrist stopped, dropping the pencil. ‘What’s his problem?’

“Excuse me?”

Anyone who wasn’t looking before was definitely looking now. The room went dead quiet after hearing the malice in your voice. Others near you backed away, while some got a bit closer to hear better.

“You didn’t hear me the first time? I said you’re making a big deal out of nothing. You were doing just fine. Was all that attention not enough for you? You wanted more? Well you definitely got it now.” He laughed at bit after that last remark, pissing you off even more.

“I heard you loud and clear the first time. Just wanted to see if you had the guts to repeat it is all.”

“Oh yeah? And what were you going to do if I didn’t?”

You abruptly stood up, getting more and more irritated with every second that passed. The look on this guy’s face was enough to frustrate you alone, his words were just additions to that.

You were toe to toe with him now. Your other classmates were finally backing away now, but the only one who didn’t stayed toe to toe with you.

“Cute, you’re just gonna stand there?” He mocked.

Clenching your fist as tight as ever, you raised it. The punch was swift, but it felt like a stab in the stomach to him.

“(Full Name). Office, now.” Apparently in the midst of everything, someone went off to get a teacher before it could escalate to… that. While they were a little late, it definitely prevented it from escalating further.

You walked to the office with the teacher, holding your head down in shame. It felt like all eyes were on you, and everything sounded so quiet. The only good thing to come out of this was getting sent home early.

You got let off with a 2 day suspension, while the one who provoked you only got a detention. It pissed you off reasonably, but there wasn’t anything you could do about it. Because he didn’t attack first or even attack at all, you were seen as the problem.

“…and that’s how my day went. Sorry Tsukasa, I won’t see you around school for a few days.” You finished telling your boyfriend all the events that occurred today, and why someone told him to ‘get his partner in check.’

He sat in front of you dumbfounded. For a moment, he felt all the rage you felt when everything was happening. He was almost as pissed off as you were at the detention punishment as well.

“But you were being harassed! It wasn’t physical, but who knew if that guy was going to throw a punch first. You were only sticking up for yourself!” He exclaimed. You sighed, muttering an “I know” under your breath.

He huffed, crossing his arms to express his seriousness right now.

“Well… I don’t think you did anything wrong. Shouldn’t the girl who made you finish her art project be blamed for all this? If she never gave it to you then this all could have been avoided!”

“I thought about that, but she wasn’t even in the room when all this happened. And it still comes back to me for doing her project anyways.”

Tsukasa sensed your frustration. He tried to calm himself down to avoid adding onto it, but it was still in the back of his mind.

“The only way any of this could have been avoided is if I sucked at art.” You bluntly said. Tsukasa turned his head, looking at you with wide eyes.

“Why would you want to suck at art though?” He asked.

“It’d keep people away from me, make them stop seeing me as a homework machine or something. I don’t like the kind of attention it gives me.”

He tried to understand where you were coming from, but it was difficult. He loves the attention being a self proclaimed star gets him, and would never want to give his title up. But you were the complete opposite.

Still, even if he didn’t understand, he’d try his best.

“I think… I think what you do is amazing (Name). But I don’t think it’s amazing that people use you for your talent, and I find it even less amazing how it deteriorates your self esteem.” He tried to keep his voice as soft as possible.

“Thank you, Tsukasa. I just… I just wish things went a little differently for me, that’s all.”

He could understand that this time. Sometimes he wished things went differently for him as well, but that thought was buried in the back of his mind with all the others.

He took your hand in his, reassuring you he wasn’t going anywhere. He swore he’d always see you as who you were as a person before your talents.

And it worked. The built up anger finally dying down.

Your scientific mind never went unnoticed by Rui. How could it be? Not only was it a trait he found quite attractive, but it was also what lead to your relationship with each other.

Not a day went by where he didn’t appreciate your love for all things science related. You’d frequently ask him questions about his own inventions, even offering help with a handful of them. The ones you assisted him with felt more important than any other inventions he had.

You were placed in the highest science courses available. Chemistry, physics, biology, you were somehow taking all of them at once. The school saw you as some sort of “prodigy” and wanted to push you as best as they possibly could. Which certainly worked! But…

Some students weren’t as welcoming as others. Not everyone thought your vast knowledge in science was normal, some even considered it ‘unhealthy.’ You tried your best to ignore them, but it’s hard to ignore something that’s right in front of you.

With chemistry involving, well, chemicals, your class was often in a lab room during the period. The professor enjoyed being unpredictable, so you never knew what to expect walking into the room. But you wouldn’t have thought he’d try something so… inconsiderate.

The first thing you noticed was a chart projected on the board, the second thing you notice is that it’s a seating chart. Any groups from earlier in the year were changed into random clusters. Some were excited for this change, while others, including yourself, groaned out in frustration.

Because of course, you just had to have the worst group.

Two members of the table seemed to be familiar with each other already, giggling amongst themselves. The third person looked completely out of it, not appearing to be paying attention to anything going on around him. You were already feeling like the odd one out here.

“Oh look, we have (Name) in our group! This class should be much easier now.” One of the girls said.

You looked at her for a moment, averting your guys to other next to her. She seemed to find what her friend said amusing, you could tell what was going on already.

“(Name) did I ever tell you how gorgeous your eyes are? Does wearing those… science goggles make your eyes look prettier?” Her smile seemed as fake as her lashes, but for now you just had to stay civil…

You tune the rest of the room out to focus on the assignment handed to you. All you had to do was write a few equations and answer some questions… nothing too bad. If you finish early, you can probably get out of this class sooner.

Your focus was disrupted by obnoxious tapping on the table.

“Can you give me the answers when you’re done?” Your group-mate asked. It took every ounce of self control to avoid rolling your eyes and turning away, instead you pretended you never heard her.

“Hello? Anyone there? Earth to (Name)~!” She said in a sing song voice. Still, as long as you pretend you never heard it…

“God, can they be anymore rude? They think they’re the shit just cause they’re in all these science courses. Just grow up already!” At that point she knew you were listening, and was resorting to shit talk to get your attention.

Unfortunately that was what grabbed your attention. Peering up at the girl with a look of annoyance, she giggled again.

“Looks like someone can hear after all!”

“Fuck off.” You replied. Stuffing your paper into your bag, you asked the teacher if you could see the nurse, to which he agreed. You couldn’t stand that table already, and you have to do that for a whole semester? Hell no.

Some students were already on their free period or lunch, so the hallways were a bit crowded, but not terribly. Thankfully it made it much easier to spot a tall purple haired male nearby.

“Rui, there you are.” You said while practically running up to him.

“Well, if it isn’t dear (Name), shouldn’t you be in..” You cut him off.

“Chemistry? Yeah. I got out to ‘go to the nurse’ but I really just wanted to cut the rest of the class. We got new groups today- mine is the worst.”

“I see…” he replied.

It was clear you were unhappy with these new seats, but there wasn’t much you could do about them. Rui acknowledged this, and tried to come up with quick solutions on the spot. Though he could tell you about them later. Right now, you just need a shoulder to lean on it seems. Literally and figuratively.

You sighed into his shoulder as he played with you hair. It felt more private in this part of the school, so there was less shame in the PDA. Besides, it at least looked normal compared to other couples.

“I hate science.” You said.

“Excuse me?”

Maybe you could have phrased that better… but part of you meant that as well.

“I just hate how everyone treats me because of science, it’s not fair. I’m just ahead of everyone else and have a passion, why is that such a problem?” You continued.

Rui knew exactly what you meant. He spent years being outcasted for being a weirdo, primarily about science. It was easy to sympathize with you.

“I know what you mean… but at the end of the day, who’ll be the one wearing a cool looking lab coat ten years from now? Definitely not them.” He joked, trying to lighten your mood a bit before class starts again. If anyone else had said that you’d have just rolled your eyes. But because it was Rui, you couldn’t help but chuckle.

You punched his shoulder lightly, making him chuckle. ‘Your spirits have been lifted up’ he thought.

“Just what would I do without you Rui…”

“Not thinking of yourself in a lab coat standing over everyone else, that’s for sure.” He replied.

Feeling better, you leaped up and stretched your arms out. Rui following suit, just a bit lazier. He handed you your bag and you thanked him.

“Mind walking me to my next class?” You asked.

“I’ll never mind doing anything for you. And… that’s our class, I’m in it as well.” He remarked teasingly. He sits right in front of you in that class, but you just wanted to see what he’d say.

“Right right, now let’s go before I accidentally drop a fire cracker here…”

You two were really made for each other, huh?

[genericpuff]

This is stupid, but you know those new LO hoodies the Webtoon shop has? I know the font they're using. It's Eckmannpsych which is an Adobe font.

That's not the stupid part though. The dumb part is the capital H and G in the Eckmannpsych font do not match what is on the hoodies, which would obviously be on the hoodies that have Hera or Goddess on them. So, Rachel looks to have taken the time to hand draw her own H and G to match the font style for those hoodies but did not take any time to make new, better art for the merch, but instead reused ugly panels from the comic. Talk about a strange look into her priorities. She doesn't like how the G and H look on a font? She will remake those to fit what she wants. Rachel when the assignment gives her the chance to make specialized, better designs for those same merch? She can't be bothered to even try. WTF!

for the love of god-

I'm assuming and hoping they had the commercial rights to that font LMAOO But it did kind of make me go 🤨 because while I didn't know the font EXACTLY off the top of my head it still felt... weirdly out of place for something like LO? Why are these hoodies being stylized like they're from Austin Powers LOL

On another note tho, the LO merch is just like... disappointing in how bad it is for what's supposed to be WT's #1 series, which is, btw, a series with so much unique stylization that it shouldn't even be this hard to make merch for it! it just feels very "first attempt at redbubble merch", but unlike genuine first attempts at making merch (which is obviously a learning curve that I wouldn't judge anyone for being new to) this is a company that's sunk shitloads of money into LO so I don't know why they can't get better merch made?? so much of it is just the default drawings taken and slapped onto a tote bag or t-shirt, which like, yeah cool fine you're using art that's recognizable and considering the art is already made, it stands to reason that they should use it for more than just the comic. It's just disappointing to see how lazy it often is and how little effort is put into translating it onto a t-shirt/tote bag/etc. like we can't even have ONE exclusive t-shirt with a unique design that isn't just poorly copy pasted from the comic?

Case in point, those t-shirts that Rachel was advertising a while ago that were actually straight up falsely advertised. I can't find the post about it on my Tumblr (I'm pretty sure I talked about it here) so here's the IG story rundown I did on it ages ago:

Again I'd really like to have benefit of the doubt here that Rachel isn't the one making these designs, usually that's not how the merchandising process goes in these types of deals, so I'm not gonna point the finger at her. But it's just so odd to me that it happened in the first place. And this goes for a lot of LO's merch, so much of it feels cheaply made and rushed off a conveyor belt for the point of making money without much expense. Which yeah, that's a business model for sure, the goal is to profit, but like this?

You can't even argue that it's like people criticizing LO the comic because like, as much as I'll justify what I spend my time doing here in my free time, it's true that at the end of the day I don't have to pay for LO, so really the only thing I'm doing is inflicting psychic damage to myself, it's not like my actual money is on the line LMAO That's why I stopped paying for LO ages ago and only do it when I have a specific episode I need to review (such as the midseason hiatus review series I did). At the very least, if I really want to keep reading LO but don't want to pay for it, I can just avoid FastPassing it and read it for free so I can save the coins for other series I'd rather read. The Webtoons' FP system is very fair that way.

But this is merch explicitly made to generate revenue. It is a product, front to back. You can vote with your money by not buying the thing you don't like, absolutely, but the fact that it's this poorly to begin with is just so indicative of Webtoons' business practices and so shitty for the people who genuinely enjoy this comic and are being advertised and sold shoddy merchandise that doesn't even come looking the same way it's advertised. It's really not a good look for Webtoons, Rachel, or LO that this is what they're selling to people.

Especially for what they're charging, good lord-

Like, okay, they're hoodies and they're gonna be expensive to print and ship so the higher overhead cost makes sense, but jesus christ, with the kind of merch Webtoons has already given the stamp of approval on, would it even show up in decent condition? How bright are those colors gonna be? Are they gonna strip off as soon as I throw it in the wash? I'm half-tempted to buy a hoodie for myself just to do a review on it but I can't justify dropping $75 CAD on a hoodie that only has art on the back. Maybe it's just me living in the hellish lands of Canada where we play with toy money that's the problem, but it's just not a gamble I wanna take LOL If I bought one it would probably be the Hecate or Hermes ones because they're the only ones that are at least somewhat legible and have decent character art that isn't a character looking like they need to poop LMAO

(these are literally the two worst drawings they could have chosen of these two i stg lol the only thing that would have made this worse/funnier is if it was Handsome Hades and Persephone Kidnapping a Baby LMAO)

It has me worried about what the LO figures are gonna look like when they release. Are they gonna have some creative liberty with making them chibi-fied (like a Nendoroid?) or are they gonna try and replicate the art style exactly and wind up making literal blow-up sex doll Persephone? 😭

NGL, if the figures are done well enough and don't cost an arm and a leg, I might consider buying one just for the shelf collection, but again, it depends. If Webtoons released a tarot deck with really good panels from LO (like the Tower 4 scene or Persephone sitting on the rooftop with her comb or Eros flying down into the Mortal Realm) I would buy the shit out of that. I would even just take the Major Arcana if 78 cards was too much to ask :'0 I'm not against Webtoons/Rachel trying to profit off LO merch at all, I just wish it was BETTER- (╥﹏╥)

[ask-the-crusaders-of-stardust]

Hello and welcome, trainees and newcomers to the foundation!

It's time to put on your training wheels and get on the wagon, as we speed through Southeast Asia and the Middle East with our dear friends, the Joestars and co.

- The Speedwagon Foundation

Read the introduction comic here.

Keep reading for info and TOS down below (Do not interact with the blog if you have not read the TOS! It's at the very end.)

This is Project Ask the Crusaders of Stardust! An ask blog dedicated to the main cast of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders. What can you and can you not expect from this blog? For one we will not have a set schedule for posting. "We" is right, we're two people running this blog. Namely @starplatimoon (Mod Moon) and @kuttblueberry (Mod Blueberry). We're very passionate about these guys and the story of part 3, and we have our own AU and RP we will pull inspiration from when it comes to moving the story forward on this ask blog. So expect the unexpected when it comes to what may happen... We will both be drawing and writing for this blog, but one of us may have more responsibility for writing certain characters than the other. Specifically, Mod Blueberry writes more for Joseph, Avdol, and Kakyoin while Mod Moon writes more for Jotaro and Polnareff. It's just the way we like to do it. This blog is fully a collaboration! We'll be putting credit where credit is due at the end of posts, we may forget sometimes or simply choose not to, however. There may be room for ships such as Avpol and Noritaro to develop down the line. And while that may be the case, we don't want this blog to revolve around ships, but the character's general dynamics and story! And to just goof off and have fun. That too. While the blog is "sponsored by the SPWF" and you're welcome to commit to the bit, you really don't have to pretend to be a newbie SPWF employee. Treat this like you would any other ask blog, there are no rules in that regard. But we will be touching on actual rules for a TOS at the end of this post that we implore you to check out before interacting with this blog or sending asks! And lastly, roleplay-themed asks and magic anons (AKA stand users) are allowed but we might not indulge in it regularly. But there may be events in the future that touch on more fun ways to interact with us, whether that be "a sudden influx of stand users!" or whatever. We do what we want.

!!!TOS BELOW PLEASE READ BEFORE SENDING ASKS/INTERACTING!!!

Don't spam the same question/message, we will get to you. And if we don't, it's probably because you broke one of the other rules OR it's already been answered in one form or another. (Although we may revisit similar themes, time will tell).

No s*xually explicit questions (Or the ghost of Erina Joestar will come back from the afterlife to whack you across the head with her ghostly cane).

No proshippers or proship themed asks. (For you who don't know what that means: Proshipping includes ships that have inc*stial/p*dophilic/abusive themes. This also includes aiming suggestive comments or asks towards Kakyoin and Jotaro, do not do that)

Related to the above, do not send in asks if you indulge in proshipping, in fact, do not interact with this blog.

We are not looking for more mods. Just the two of us, we can make it. If we try <3

Do not repost our art without credit (this does not include reblogs here on Tumblr). But if you want to use our art as say a profile picture or header, you can WITH credit. This also goes for if anyone wants to dub over our comics or such, that is allowed too, with credit.

Do not badger us if we decide to take breaks or go on a hiatus, we have our own lives. This goes for literally any ask blogs out there, do not stress the mods out!!!

If you break any of these rules, you may earn a block, be mindful of that.

On a happier note, aside from abiding by our rules, have fun! This blog was made for fun and we hope you will have fun, we sure will. (If we don't, read bullet point 7.... just kidding.... or am I.....)

Thank you for reading all the way to the end!

Credits:

Blog header by mod Moon and mod Blueberry. Joseph, Avdol, and Kakyoin were drawn by mod Blueberry. Jotaro, Polnareff, and the background was drawn by mod Moon.

Profile picture by mod Moon.

Crusader chibis by mod Moon and mod Blueberry. Joseph, Avdol, and Kakyoin were drawn by mod Blueberry. Jotaro and Polnareff were drawn by mod Moon.

[jikookuntold]

The Untold Truth of "Letter"

Back in 2021, 2022, or even early 2023, if someone had told me about the possibility of JK having vocal credits in Jimin's solo album, I would have called it wishful thinking at best. But it happened, and we got the song "Letter" (AKA Dear Army) as a hidden track in Jimin's first solo album, FACE, with back vocals by JK, and his name written invisibly in the album book.

The perfectly matching vocals of Jikook, with the heartfelt lyrics and soft instruments, undoubtedly made one of the most beautiful songs of the year, which could break many records for Jimin and his album if it was released in the streaming and buying services. The release of Letter as a hidden track in Jimin's solo album raised many questions and debates among Jikookers, and as someone who barely scrolls in the Tumblr app, I know I'm a bit late for the party, but I may or may not have some notes to add to the already made discussions. FYI, these are my analytic views and speculations, I am fully aware that this song has been named "Dear Army", and Jimin called it a "Fan song" on different occasions. So, I do not intend to ignore that and diminish Jimin's expression of love for his fans.

What's a Hidden Track?

Before getting into "Letter", we need to understand what a hidden track is. Well, the definition is pretty clear; When a song is not listed in the official track-list of a music album, but it exists in (some versions of) the physical printed CD, cassette, or LP, it's called a "hidden track". 

Hidden Tracks of BTS

There are several techniques and reasons to "hide" a track in an album, but in the case of BTS discography, the hidden tracks exist for a specific reason, and I'm going to explain it with the only examples we have. The debut album (2013) and Love Yourself: Her (2017), are the only BTS albums including hidden tracks, and if we ignore the skits in each album, "Path" and "Sea" are the only hidden songs BTS ever released. So, these two songs must have something(s) in common and different from the other BTS tracks that caused them to end up as a hidden track. To find that common factor, we need to check their lyrics first:

Path

[Intro: RM] Yeah, wassup? You know, time flows like stars (Check it, check, check, check, check it out) [Verse 1: RM] I started from imitating Eminem, Garion, Epik High To writing my own raps Now I see that I’m already at Hongdae My lyrics back then were all (****) Bossy But we dunno, we dunno When I dreamed without anyone to stop me Reality tied me down and trapped me inside Oh, my youth trapped me My hot heart lost to my cold mind (Damn) As I blindly told myself my decision was right I don’t know whether it’s an angel or a devil, but it says to me "Do you really have any plans to rap properly?" (Yes or no?) I didn’t have more time to hesitate and didn’t want to be stupid So I came here and three years passed by Some say art is long, life is short But for now, art is life Life is sports, just do it, uh [Chorus] If I had chosen a different path, would have I been any different? If I stopped and looked back (Oh hey ya, hey ya) What will I see at the end of this road? Where you should’ve been standing? (Oh hey ya, hey ya) [Verse 2: Suga, Suga & Jungkook] A long time passed and by 2013, I was a trainee for three years I was a high school student who grew overnight (I became a child) White hair grew from my desires and one by one my many friends (Parted ways with me) I spent my time in Seoul alone without a family (That was my third spring) I thought my worries would disappear with my debut ahead of me I closed my eyes to the present that had nothing to change But the reality was different, even as my family and friends tried to stop me I walked into the tunnels that shed no light on my own I thought I would be alone (Why?) As it turns out, there weren’t seven bare feet but we were wearing the shoe named Bangtan We’ll have to go forward, take one more step, become newer And that’s how I spent my fourth spring in Seoul (Whoa) [Chorus] If I had chosen a different path, would have I been any different? (Hey) If I stopped and looked back (Hey) Oh hey ya, hey ya What will I see at the end of this road? Where you should’ve been standing? (Oh hey ya, hey ya) [Verse 3: J-Hope] 2010, the year I walked towards Seoul! I just loved to dance, and now I’m standing on top of the stage Until then, I overcame many pains and scars to prepare myself I survived with my belief to bend, not break, and ran for three years Let the stars inside my heart shine! Now shine on me differently Write “Bangtan” on the paper world I walk my future with more lights on Give a smile to that far future (Ha, ha)

As you can see, the lyrics are simple and self-explanatory, so I guess we don't need any lyrics analysis, and the description section of the Genius translation I used here, says it all:

“길 (Road/Path) follows the member’s decisions to become idols in the Korean music industry. They recall their different upbringings from listening to hip hop in school to the hard years of being trainees under BigHit Entertainment. BTS pose the questions of how their lives would be different if they made a different decision, and they ask themselves what the future entails. A very introspective track about their career for a debut album, BTS display their thought processes as they enter the music scene.”

Sea

[Intro: Jungkook] Oh, ah, yeah [Verse 1: Rap Monster] I just started walking and ended up at the sea I'm looking at the coast from here There's endless sand and the rough wind I'm still looking at a desert I wanted to have the sea so I swallowed you up But I'm even thirstier than before Is what I know really the ocean? Or a blue desert? [Refrain: J-Hope] I don't know, I don't know If I'm feeling the waves right now, yeah I don't know, I don't know If I'm being chased by the sand wind, yeah I don't know, I don't know Is this the sea or the desert? Is this hope or despair? Is this real or fake? Shit [Pre-Chorus: J-Hope] I know, I know, my hardship right now I know, I know, I'll overcome I know, I know, open me up It's the place I can rely on Think positive, I'm swallowing my dry spit Even if I'm nervous, even if I'm in a desert I'm in the beautiful Namib Desert [Chorus: Jimin, Jin] Where there is hope, there is always trial (4) [Hook: V, Jungkook] Where there is hope You know, you know You know, yeah yeah (2) [Verse 2: Suga] I thought this was the ocean but it's a desert A medium-sized, ordinary idol was my second name Countless people get cut from broadcast But someone's empty spot is our dream They say some of these kids can't make it cuz their agency is too small I know, I know, I know too Times when the seven of us had to sleep in one room With foolish hope that tomorrow will be different before we fell asleep We saw the mirage in the desert but we couldn't grasp it Praying that we'll remain in this desert till the end Praying that this isn't truly our reality [Verse 3: Suga] In the end, we reached the mirage and it became our reality The scary desert became the ocean with our blood, sweat and tears But why is there this fear in between the happiness? Because we know too well that this place is really a desert [Refrain 2: Suga] I don't wanna cry I don't wanna rest No, who cares if we rest a little? No no no I don't wanna lose It's always a desert I told you everything Then I'll just be more depressed [Chorus: Jungkook, V] Where there is hope, there is always trial (2) [Hook: Jimin, Jin] Where there is hope You know, you know You know, yeah yeah (2) [Bridge: Rap Monster] Ocean, desert, the world Everything, the same thing Different name I see ocean, l see desert I see the world Everything's, the same thing With a different name It's life again [Hook: V, Jungkook] Where there is hope You know you know you know yeah (2) [Chorus] Where there is hope, there is always trial

Compared to “Path”, we have more innuendos and metaphors in “Sea” because of Namjoon’s lyricism (it was supposed to be in his mixtape at first), but as the description says:

"It discusses the hardships BTS has experienced since debut, particularly struggling to compete with groups from other, larger agencies. In this song, BTS reflects on these hardships, fearing that their global fame and success could leave as suddenly as it arrived."

Common Denominator

These two lyrics have one big thing in common, and it's the topic they are discussing. They talk about the members' struggles, fears, hopes, and dreams career-wise. I was thinking maybe these issues are something they can only share with their longtime fans, not the general public, therefore, they decided to release them as hidden tracks in the physical album for their real fans who buy them, something like the difference between Weverse and Instagram, I guess? Then I realized that’s something Namjoon has mentioned himself to Billboard Magazine, in LYS: Her interview:

And if fans are so lucky to own the physical album, they’ll hear two hidden tracks at the very. Why keep them secretive?

"I think they’re hidden because you have to be a real fan of BTS to understand them. Otherwise, you won’t. Otherwise, you’d like to be, “Why are they feeling so confused about things? They’re good?!? They’re No. 1 somewhere, they have so much stuff, why are they worried?” People always talk about that. But if you are a true fan of BTS and you buy the album and you listen to the hidden track — if you are an Army and we spent time together from 2013, 2014 — they could understand. It’s kind of more special, more closer, to our true hearts"

What about "Letter"?

In conclusion, hidden tracks for BTS, are something between them and their real fans who know about the path they have wended, therefore they can open up to them through lyrics and talk about their fears and struggles and ambitions without being judged or misunderstood. Also, we have to debunk some of the misconceptions going around (especially after the release of FACE) about hidden tracks. For example, some claimed that Letter is made for fans because hidden tracks are always supposed to be “gifts” for fans. This claim obviously can’t be true when you are able to listen to a hidden track legally, only by purchasing the physical album. Gifts are supposed to be free of charge, like Promise, Still with You, Christmas Love, My You, and so on. 

Then what about “Letter”? Why this song is a hidden track in Jimin’s first solo album? Did Jimin want to say something by hiding this track in FACE? To answer this questions, we need to pay attention to the lyrics and how the song was made:

 [Verse 1] What should I say? And how should I convey it? I'm really not getting my words right I know it sounds so clichéd So that it's not taken lightly Let me say it to you properly [Chorus] I say oh-oh, I hope you can be happier You, who stretched your hand out to me whenever I fell I say oh-oh, I'll hold it now (I'll hold it) So when you feel like crying, you won’t fall [Verse 2] After all this time has passed Will we still be the same? Just like we were when we first met, hmm-mmm If we are together, even the desert could turn to a sеa Just like how we were then, oh-hoo-ooh [Chorus] I say oh-oh, I really hope that it’ll last forever You, who felt like a warm spring to me in a cold winter I say oh-oh, I'll always cherish it All those moments between you and I [Refrain] Baby, don't leave Just stay by my side, yeah To you, who see me bigger than what my little self is (to you) So that I can give as much as I’ve received (oh-oh) So that I can keep my word (oh-oh) Don't worry, just stay by my side, yeah (Yeah) We don’t know what the future holds (holds, yeah) And that’s scary and makes us afraid (oh-oh) But don’t forget that we’re always together (don't forget) [Outro] I know it sounds so clichéd So that it's not taken lightly Let me say it to you properly

The Feelings

If you compare these lyrics to "Path" and "Sea" you can clearly see the differences, and except a mention of "sea and desert" there's nothing in common between them. Letter is not a monologue about career issues, it's a romantic song. These lyrics are expressing the feelings and addresses them to an audience and appreciates them. But how was this song made?

According to Jimin, at first, SMF Pt2 was supposed to be the last track of his solo album, but in their YTC promotion and recording era when they announced that they have planned to put their group activities on rest, Jimin decided to express his feelings of the moment through a letter, and turned that letter to song lyrics. Producers liked the song so much and decided to add it in his album and that’s how “Letter” was born. Although Jimin didn’t explain much about those “feelings” and left the conclusion to us like a true artist, we all know that this song is totally different from the other tracks in his album.

All the tracks of FACE are dark and sad. Jimin’s first album is all about himself, and he talks about the painful emotions he had as an artist and a person in the past few year, but with “Letter” there is a different story. Recording Academy admitted this and wrote:

“Though the EP is technically only six songs, the physical version has an additional “hidden” track called “Letter”. The song provides an intimacy that stands out from the other FACE tracks, capturing Jimin in his best form. The lyrics are poignant and vulnerable as Jimin pleads for someone to stay (“Baby, don't leave Just stay by my side, yeah”) The biggest surprise though? Fellow BTS member Jungkook contributes vocals to harmonize with Jimin.”  

A Fan Song?

“Letter” being a “Fan Song” is a stated fact by Park Jimin himself, and there can’t be any arguments about it, but that fact doesn’t mean Jimin made this song with the thought of fans in his head and all about them. In one of my old posts, I said that a faceless crowd can’t be the muse for a romantic song, especially when that song has a "standing-out intimacy".

Another reason for calling "Letter" a fan song, is the fact that it starts at 6:13 of the album, the numbers that remind us of the debut date of BTS. We can't call this a coincidence because we know how thoughtful and punctual Jimin is. But don’t forget that 6.13 is more of BTS time than ARMY time. So, as much as you call this track a song for fans, it can be called a song for his fellow BTS members.

Why JK?

Now, let’s address the elephant in the room. Why JK was a part of this song? Did it mean something for Jimin, or did he have no other options? Jimin said that FACE is an album about himself, and he didn’t feel right about featuring other artists in it, that’s why he decided to record SMF Pt2 all alone and do all the rap parts by himself instead of featuring Yoongi in it. He collaborated with several producers and songwriters (including Namjoon), but there was no featured artist in the whole album.

About the background vocals of the album, he did most parts by himself, and for the other parts, he worked with artists who already had credits in his album, such as BLVSH, Sumin, and James Keys. But JK didn’t have anything to do with Jimin’s album. Jimin was fully capable of doing the background vocals of Letter by himself, as he did for the first parts of the song. Jimin never really explained why he decided to have JK in the song, other than saying their voices match. This known fact doesn’t give us much information, but we can have our speculations. 

Closer Than This?

Another thing that questions the idea of “Letter" being inspired by fans, is the existence of “Closer Than This”. The newest release of Jimin is the exact definition of a fan song, the lyrics are straightforward and directly address the fans and leave no place for speculation. If CTT is the result of Jimin getting inspired by his fans, then “Letter” must be inspired by something different because these two songs are not comparable. 

The difference becomes more obvious when we look at the initial version of the Letter lyrics in Jimin’s drafts. I wonder what the Grammy journalist who called the final lyrics of “Letter” intimate would have said if they read this: 

You hugged me tightly Only you who protected me Hold my hand, hold my hand tightly You who reached out my hand You held out your hand to me

We don’t know what was going on in Jimin’s mind when he wrote these, but we can see that the initial lyrics have been moderated, and the intimate parts, which clearly refer to a person, didn’t end up in the final lyrics. FYI, I’m doing a lyric analysis here, and this is not a complaint or conspiracy theory because Jimin said that he liked the way the final version came out, and it's all that matters.

For Fans, Not About Fans

So far we made it clear that "hidden tracks" are not about fans, they are for fans like any other BTS song, but the hidden tracks are a secret between the artist and the fan, something that only the true and dedicated fan can understand, and this applies to Jimin's "Letter".

Jimin gave up on many records for streaming and buying by releasing this song as a hidden track in his album. So, there must be an important message in this song that he wanted to convey to the true fans. He did his share of being thankful to fans by CTT, and I don't think he needed to do it twice in a year.

Maybe you prefer to think Jimin just made this song for ARMY and hid it in the album as a surprise or because it didn’t match with the whole concept of FACE, and you might not be wrong about any of that. But, don’t forget that he didn’t explain anything about this, and we both are just making assumtions.

Yes, maybe Jimin didn't acknowledge JK being a part of Letter in his promotion era, but JK did everything he could for his share. A few hours before the release of FACE, he started a live and played a part of it with his guitar, and months later, he watched Jimin's live performance for Festa while harmonizing with it and reminding us that he knows the lyrics very well. In Jimin's documentary he was very supportive and even teased for a live performance with him in future.

Why Just Jikook?

Jimin and Jungkook are not the only members of BTS. But I don't know why everytime Jimin or JK do something with romantic undertones, the fans (OT7 ARMYs, to be more specific) immediately try to label it as "About ARMY". I usually don't see this energy with the other five members. I'm perfectly sure they are also very grateful for ARMY, they have released several songs about them, and they would have loved to collaborate in a fan song with Jimin, too.

Then why Jimin only included JK in Letter? Why he wanted to sing for "ARMY" with him? Unless we assume Jimin's gratitude towards ARMY has connections with JK, and I don’t even want to bring up 2019 "I am army" jokes. But "Letter" is the song the most optimistic Jikookers didn't expect to exist. You may try to ignore and normalize it, but you can't deny the fact that Letter proved Jikook's unbreakable connection as two harmonic colleages, long time friends, and inseparable souls.

[sugamehhq]

His Angel (Johnshi)

Quick things before you indulge;

This is an au I've started working on where these characters are placed in a world of demons and angels. For this specific story part, a process known as "marking" or "claiming" is done.

In the realm of demons and angels there are rankings. The higher your rank, the more privileged you are. Anyone who falls in the 7-12 range are not lucky people. The only way to climb in the ranks is either by someone above you dies, or by a higher up claiming you as their own (with consent). The marking/claiming process can never be done without consent. An action of consent is required to begin the process.

In Johnny's case, he was born a rank 12. Being a rank 12 means he's been treated poorly most of his life. Of which leads me to say CW/TW for mentions of Sexual Harassment/Sexual Assault. Please stay safe!

(Art is included at the end for visuals :] )

--

“Remind me why you’re here again,” Johnny stated, avoiding Kenshi’s gaze.

The demon was a little confused by the sudden request, but complied, “I wanted to spend time with you.”

“Right,” the angel fidgeted with his fingers, “and why is that?”

Kenshi sighed, “I’ve told you already. I enjoy your company, you’re comforting to be around.”

He paused before asking a question, “Do you not enjoy our time together?”

The angel’s brows furrowed as he searched for an answer.

“Would you prefer I leave?”

“No,” Johnny replied quickly, “I’m just confused is all.”

Kenshi raised an eyebrow before placing himself by the angel’s side. His hand gently took Johnny’s, the other’s small wings moving to cover his face.

“If I may ask,” the demon spoke softly, “what’s confusing you?”

Johnny hesitated, his hand accepting the demon’s touch while he thought how to word his concern.

“Who told you about me?”

His voice was gentle, but rough enough to get the point across. He felt this wasn’t genuine. That Kenshi was sent to keep watch over him for something worse, that there were no real feelings. The fear in his mind was making it hard to see the truth. Johnny was aware there was some connection. The demon had spent months visiting, doing everything he could to protect his lower rank self, showing him respect, bringing him gifts, and yet there was still the strong feeling of it being too good to be true.

“I’m not sure I’m following.”

“If you’re just here to use my body for satisfaction, then use me. There’s no need to butter me up for months if that’s all you want.”

Kenshi’s heart hurt knowing that thought has been stuck in the other’s mind for months, yet all he could do was repeat the same thing over and over, hoping one of these days it would get through that horrid road block in the angel’s mind. He found himself standing in front of Johnny, gently pulling his feathers from his face, revealing an expression of fear yet acceptance.

“Starlight, look at me,” the demon placed his hand against the other’s cheek, “there’s no need to be afraid of me.”

Johnny’s lower lip twitched as he fought back tears.

“You know that, and I know you’ve been through a lot, but please don’t be afraid of me,” Kenshi wiped the singular tear that fell, “I’d rather die than ever think of hurting you in such ways.”

The angel’s hand shakily met the demon’s wrist. His eyes closed, allowing the tears to fall.

So Kenshi continued, “A close friend of mine told me about you, how you’re a good person, that you don’t deserve what you’ve been through, so I came to see for myself. I started spending more time here than in my own territory. It occurred to me that you really are something special.”

The demon hesitated, his words feeling way too corny for himself, but he chose to keep speaking his mind.

“I grew fond of you. I’ve wanted nothing more than to bring you up from this hellhole, not only because it’s the right thing to do, but because I truly fell in love with you, and I want you to see that. So, over the last few months, I’ve tried my best to prove myself to you. I’ve brought you things I thought you’d enjoy. I respect your wishes. I avoided anything you disliked. I wanted to make you feel safe and give you a safe space. I’ve grown territorial of you. I want to protect you. I-”

The demon’s mind went blank. He had so much more to say, but couldn’t figure out how to word it. It sunk in that he admitted to the fact of wanting to claim the angel, take him as his lover. His mouth hung open, slight nerves settling in his gut as he waited for a slap in the face, assuming the angel would think he was crazy.

How many people have told him the same thing, only to turn around and hurt him for no reason at all? What he did just now, he was probably no better than the other disgusting demons that tried to get a taste of Johnny.

A laugh entered the air, a song the demon would kill for just to hear again.

“You’re so blunt,” Johnny laughed.

Kenshi’s face relaxed, assuming he didn’t mess up his words.

“Not blunt, honest.”

Johnny pulled Kenshi’s hand away from his face, squeezing it in his other hand. He admired the claws of the demon, the color of his skin, how rough yet soft his touch felt, the jewelry that adorned his arm. His eyes trailed up to his shoulder, chest, opposite arm, back to his chest, to his feet, and finally up to his blindfolded eyes. Kenshi stood still, his posture stiff in fear he was presenting himself wrong, which earned another laugh out of the angel.

“You’re trying too hard for someone like me,” Johnny smiled, wondering what his eyes looked like under the cloth.

“I beg to differ,” Kenshi sighed while relaxing his shoulders.

Johnny continued to laugh at the demon. Even if it was to make fun of him, Kenshi enjoyed the sound.

“So, run that by me again,” Johnny spoke, “what’s this about love?”

The demon’s tail twitched nervously, but he obeyed, “I said I fell in love with you.”

“Right,” the angel leaned closer to the other, his voice softening, “and what did you say you wanted to do?”

“Bring you up from this hellhole,” Kenshi replied automatically.

Johnny smiled, taking in Kenshi’s features once more.

He really did love this demon. So why should he feel guilty about this? Kenshi himself just stated he loves him, but that word doesn’t mean anything when you’ve been told all your life how loved and beautiful you are, only to be used and thrown around like a damn toy. 

Even still, Johnny followed his heart. The angel planted a soft kiss on the demon’s cheek. A silent way of inviting the demon into his heart.

Kenshi was hesitant, his heart grew louder, his tail swishing slowly behind him. Was he really allowing him into his life? Was all his hard work finally paying off? 

“Johnny,” Kenshi whispered in awe.

“Yes?”

“Are you sure?”

The angel froze. Did he mess something up?

“I-I mean are you okay with me. Are you sure you’re okay with it being me?”

“Kenshi,” the angel placed another kiss on his face, “I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else.”

The demon’s lips broke into a smile, his heart pounded in his ears. He could only imagine how stupid he looked at that moment. His head fell against Johnny’s shoulder, his arms embracing him.

“You do know it’ll hurt like hell, right?”

Johnny sighed, “I’m sure I’ve felt worse.”

Kenshi cringed at the statement. Both for what it implied as well as the idea Johnny might be overlooking how painful a marking for them would be. Regardless, if Johnny was okay with it then he’d gladly deliver.

The demon lifted his head, taking the angel’s face in his palms. His lips found the other’s, testing the waters. He gave Johnny the opportunity to back out, but the angel returned the kiss.

His left hand gently trailed its way down to Johnny’s right hip, where his initial “12” mark was exposed. As if staged, Johnny’s left hand found its way to Kenshi’s exposed back, his finger tips grazing over the demon’s “3” mark. With a consenting kiss and connected marks, their palms began to glow, signaling the start of the marking process.

The two stood together, hands grasping at each other’s marks. It took about a minute for the pain to creep into the angel’s muscles. A burning sensation ran down his thigh to his knee. While Kenshi remained unphased, Johnny’s leg started to shake lightly.

Pulling away from the kiss, he rested his head against Kenshi’s shoulder, a hesitant growl resonated from his throat in response to the pain. As another agonizing minute passed, his knee started to give out, the only thing keeping him from falling over being Kenshi’s hold on his hip.

“Use your other hand,” Kenshi spoke, his voice ever so slightly shaking, “you can hold my arm.”

Without thinking, Johnny did as told, his right hand finding Kenshi’s upper arm. His fingers dug into the underside of his arm. The pain from his hip spread to his side creating a combined feeling of a horrific side stitch alongside a massive leg cramp. 

In an attempt to mask the pain for the other, Kenshi returned to his prior position in providing a kiss. Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for Johnny to pull away again. He tried to speak, but the pain took his breath away, though Kenshi could tell what he was trying to say.

“You’re alright,” Kenshi sighed in an attempt to combat his own aches, “I’ve got you.”

The angel rested his forehead against the demon’s in an attempt for comfort. Having been in immense pain for about three minutes, all he could do was stand there and listen to the other’s calming words until the pain subsided.

After an agonizing four and a half minutes, the pain started to dissipate. Johnny’s body collapsed on itself, all his energy had been used connecting his energy to Kenshi’s. The demon’s hands immediately moved to embrace the other, guiding him to the ground safely. While the process was draining for both of them, it wasn’t nearly as bad for Kenshi as it was for Johnny.

The angel struggled to keep his eyes open, fatigue catching up with him almost instantly. As his eyes closed, Kenshi laid him on the ground comfortably so he could rest.

As much as Kenshi would’ve loved to take a nap as well, he dedicated himself to staying by his partner’s side, keeping watch for any suspicious higher ups. Fatigue wouldn’t stop him from protecting the angel at all costs.

As the angel opened his eyes, he felt disoriented, like his world was on a tilt. He blinked a few times trying to take in his surroundings, to understand where he was and what happened. He felt a sense of fear being unsure of where he was or who was around him, but that slowly ceased as his mind registered the gentle messaging of his hip.

Kenshi had found himself instinctively brushing over the mark on Johnny’s hip, a way of comforting the other. He wasn’t sure how much it actually helped, but he did it anyway. The demon waited for a bit to eventually speak.

“How do you feel?”

Johnny hummed in response, still tired.

“Is this helping?”

The angel nodded, the comfort he felt from the other’s touch kept him from seeing the world upside down. Kenshi huffed in response, acknowledging the silent request to keep at it. 

As Johnny slipped in and out of sleep, Kenshi grew tired. He too wanted to rest from prior events. The next time Johnny opened his eyes, Kenshi asked if he could move them to somewhere more secluded.

“Can you stand?” Kenshi asked while helping the other sit up.

“Mm, doubt it,” Johnny shook his head, barely able to lift himself up from the ground originally.

It was a little worrying the effect marking the angel had, but Kenshi pushed his concern aside in favor of picking the other up. He lifted Johnny into his arms, noticing his leg was still stiff, he quickly moved to somewhere more hidden, somewhere that he wouldn’t have to worry about anything happening to his angel.

It didn’t take long for the demon to join the other on the ground. Without any sort of bed, the floor was just barely tolerable, but for a fatigued pair such as them, it was the comfiest thing in the world. 

Having been newly bonded, Johnny joining Kenshi in being a rank 3, the two settled for cuddling each other for a while. They’ll save rank discussion and their future for a later date.

Right now, the only thing that mattered was the fact that Kenshi’s goal was met. He had saved him.

His angel.

--

Some extra details to think about:

Markings hurt for every pair that consents to one. For Johnshi their marking is the most painful one of the list of character's I have.

Pain of markings is basically like a cramp in your muscle.

Receivers' markings can be found in three places: Their hip, cheeks, or their necks.

Givers markings can be found in three places: Their back, chest, or stomach.

Markings are extremely draining, specifically if the rank distance is large like Johnshi's was. (Johnny had to sit through four and a half minutes of burning pain as his mark switched through the nine stages of ranks before ending at Kenshi's rank 3.)

When bonded with another being, your energies are tied to one another. You can feel what the other feels, comfort them by touching their mark, and overall, just feel closer to your other half.

Angels and Demons all have three types: Angels can have white wings, brown wings, or black wings. Demons can have spiked wings, pinched wings, or rounded wings. (There's more to this, but I don't want to make this too long.) Johnny is a lower-ranking brown wing while Kenshi is a higher-ranking spiked wing.

Ranks also determines the kind of jewelry a person would own. Kenshi's on the higher end, so he possesses golds. Johnny originally being the lowest rank of 12, he possessed bronze.

Kenshi's whole goal in this au was to bring Johnny up from a rank 12 to a rank 3 to keep him safe, of which clearly, he won.

Here's some art to give you an idea of what this looks like :))

@s-icarus-hofmann designed their outfits ! Everyone thank them for the help :))

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!

[onlydrawnbad]

Do you ever read 570,000+ word, 130+ chapter fanfics that were started nearly 8 years ago and have current year updates, and as you get to the end of certain chapters along the way, you keep going "wow, I would have hated to be here in 201x and have to wait for THAT cliffhanger, those poor readers, those sad, desperate historical souls" and you're just so glad for yourself because you know you don't have to stop until chapter 139, and you arrogantly assume that's probably just extended epilogues or something (because you were previously conditioned by another fic to believe that), so everything will be fine?

Only to get to chapter 139 and SCREAM OUT LOUD because you jinxed yourself right into THE NEWEST WAVE OF CLIMATIC PLOT CHAPTERS WHERE ALL THE SHIT IS GOING DOWN and now you, too, have become the reader you felt such pity for?

Wait, you don't?

THEN GO OVER THERE AND DO WHAT I DID SO I DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE IN MY HUBRIS. It comes with art. So. Much. Wonderful. Comic. Art.

I would like to stress (as I have done before) that I have never played this game. Not once. I had never even heard of it originally. Yet this is now the second absolutely massive Sans x reader/OC fic I have read in this fandom. Everything I know about Undertale, I learned because one day on a whim I decided to read a 480,000+ word, 170+ chapter fanfic because I liked the way @tricktster used words on some tumblr post (don't ask me which one, I've forgotten). I have re-read that fic at least once a year, if not more, for multiple years in a row because it's like a favorite book to me now.

If anyone needs me, I'll be comfort-reading it, again.

And then probably going back and re-reading JoAT, because oh my god that fic. I'm just so in love with it for a million reasons.

(Yes, it took me this long to see there was another glorious treasure in plain sight under @capnhanbers despite following @mod2amaryllis and it's just really embarrassing to be confronted by that kind of obliviousness, okay? Can I blame it on how, multiple times now over the years, I've gone months and months without looking at this app unless it notified me of something specific?)

I swear, I have never read fic in any other fandom where it was this easy to immerse myself in it with nothing more than some light googling along the way (the first time with CoBC), and the googling was just because I'm me and I like to know all the things. In both cases, you don't have to come to the table with anything other than an interest in supernatural-elements stories (monsters, magic, etc) and a love for snappy dialogue and funny (dad) jokes and HEART-WRENCHING FEELS and watching the author having a life journey in the notes.

(And yes, sure, an open mind about a skeleton monster and a human having magical sex, but if you know you're in a rated fic about monsters and humans, you must know that's going to be a thing.)