#in every timeline i will support her making healthy choices for her relationship and i really really like the guy she's with 🤍

[breakerwhiskey]

260 - TWO HUNDRED SIXTY

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Transcript under the cut. For more episodes, click here.

[click, static]

It took me the better part of a day but I think I’ve done it. I think I’ve written out your whole message. It…I honestly have no idea what it says. I was so focused on the individual letters, barely any words formed from it as I went.

I…I should go get Harry. But she’s sleeping and…I think she needs the rest. After—we’re still working through things and I think—no, I know—we will be for a very long time. As we waited for your message to finish transmitting, we talked a lot. We maybe got a little…distracted from time to time, but she put it all out on the table, everything she’d been thinking and feeling that she didn’t tell me. Things she didn’t even write in her notebook. And I told her things…we aired grievances and shared the times when we thought we might get close to something, back in New York. She talked about how she felt about Pete and listened to me when I talked about him and…and she was really kind when I couldn’t parse the good from the bad, when I didn’t want to just write him off as a violent criminal. I mean, I don’t…well, there are a lot of things I need to work through and it doesn’t all have to do with Harry.

Well. I could fill you in on all of it, on every detail, but…these broadcasts have been mine, separate from Harry, as much as anything in my life can be separate from Harry, and there are some things with her that are separate from the world. At least for now.

I know I said I might stop transmitting now that we’re safe and I think…I think I am going to take a break. Disappear for a little while like you’re so fond of doing. I’m—well, I think I’m happy and I’m not totally sure what to do with that feeling. Especially since it’s laced with…well, Junior is still out there, we’re still trapped here and even though I know what it’s like to kiss her, to— I don’t think I’ve forgiven Harry yet, not fully. She knows that, she…she’s understanding of it. Genuinely. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to try to get there. Especially since I know I haven’t been the paragon of healthy communication and perfect relationship behavior so there are things that I need to…that I need her forgiveness on and, well, I think she wants to try to get there too.

All that said—well, I don’t know what I’m going to find in your message and I hope it’s not goodbye forever, but maybe this is a goodbye for now. I want only good things for you Birdie. I hope you get a little peace of mind. A little closure. I’m discovering eve the tiniest glimpse of it really does wonders.

Okay. Here we go.

“Dear Whiskey,

I am sorry that we couldn’t meet. You find yourself in a watch tower of my own creation. I wasn’t positive it would still be functioning in this timeline—you never do know when an earthquake or a storm is going to cause something to come toppling down—but I’m relieved to find that it is. I do wish I could have been there myself, but we can only enter timelines through great pains and effort and I have already interfered far more than we are meant to. Though I suppose my hand was forced when I ceased to be the only one communicating with you.

The person you know as Fox is, as you guessed, a purist. They want all people in all places to be instead in one place, following one path. They do not believe that anyone should be free to make their own choices and live with the consequences. They would prefer to guide your hand into another choice you cannot take back, all in service of what they deem to be correct. They know what they are; they even told you directly. Though they are not the figment of an author’s imagination, they are as close to Eternity as one can get. Though in this case, they are not the norm, but a rebel.

And I cannot claim there is nothing to re—rebel against. It is not a perfect system. It is hard, to watch people suffer in the worlds of their own creation, with no obvious recourse. Sometimes these timelines correct themselves, merging with each other or disappearing entirely. But even we, the keepers and observers of these strands, cannot fully comprehend the intricacies of why certain shifts are created.

As you know, you are not the first person for whom I have tried to bring comfort in a lonely universe. Not all alternate worlds are as empty as yours, but some are even emptier. And yours, was of course, becoming more empty all the time, though that may not be a bad thing for every person involved.

Fox told you you’re too late because the timeline has shifted once again. I’ll explain that in a moment but first I need to talk about the shift that preceded it, that caused an angry man to seek vengeance. A few months ago, Fred Billings’ mother—“

Fred. That’s his name. Fred. Wow, I, uh—anyway—

“Fred Billings’ mother, who was her—who was here, vanished from this place and merged with her correct timeline. Both Fred and his father perished in a car accident on New Year’s Eve 1974, and the widow Billings’ life was forever changed. Fred woke up here one day to find that his mother—who he had lived with in some degree of contentment for the last six years—had vanished. Meanwhile, she was waking up in the place she was from, with no memory of this world.

That’s what would have happened if you had killed Junior. Or, at least, that is what Fox and I both suspected. That it would have aligned enough with the timeline of your origin and you would’ve been sent back. But you should know, if that were to happen, all of this would seem like a strange dream. Your memories of the last seven years would be filled with the experience of that other you. The events you’ve experienced here would not inform your life. I have not brought you here to keep you from making that decision for yourself, but because I thought you deserved to have all the information relevant to what Fox was asking you to do. They forced my hand when they told you to kill Fred—I could not let you do that without knowing the full consequences.

However, it is a moot point. As I said, something in the timeline has shifted again. You have merged—you have merged with another offshoot, your circumstances have once again changed. I wish I could give you the information that would help you navigate this new world—I wish I knew if this meant more potential allies or if this meant that you were closer to getting back home than you were before. But we cannot see all. Fox has their ways of seeing more than most, but I suspect even they are uncertain of what this shift has brought.

I do know that yours and Harry’s fates are irreversibly intertwined. I cannot think of a decision on any timeline that would separate you as you are now. In that sense, I take comfort in knowing you will never be truly alone.

On that subject, I have a final gift for you. I know you are going to cease transmitting soon. And I understand that, I do. But before you go silent, look at the radio system in front of you—“

…okay…

“Turn it on and tune to the very last frequency. Then switch on the delta tune to the positive and access the off-frequency just beyond that final channel.

Through some error that I know my superiors would like to correct, your transmissions have been reaching out—have been reaching outside of your world. In the same way that visions of the world you came from have bled into where you are now—” The polaroids I’m guessing— “your words have reached beyond their usual bounds. It is why they were able to reach your friends from across the country and after a year of listening to you, I have yet to figure out why this is happening at all.

Perhaps now that you are no longer alone, you don’t need this particular comfort. But you have spent all this time calling into the dark, hoping someone was listening, hoping someone would call back. Hoping that someone out there would find you.

You were found a long time ago. You were never really lost or alone. Many of them were alone, before they heard your voice. But the moment you called out, there were voices calling back, even if you couldn’t hear them.

Your friend, Birdie”

What…I don’t…I don’t understand—

Okay, tune to the last frequency…let’s see

[turning to the frequency]

“You were found a long time ago”…Who found—

[gets to the last frequency and then—

a cacophony of different voices, all the messages that Whiskey has not been receiving, from infinite timelines]

(an intake of breath)

Oh my god.

[static]

[click]

[kagomiko]

real name : higurashi kagome  /  日暮ひぐらし かごめ . single or taken : timeline dependent , single  /  married . abilities or powers : her most noteworthy ability is her immense spiritual power , which she inherited from kikyo . kagome can also perform spiritual energy projection , which has said spiritual energy concentrated in the palms of her hand & ultimately released for offensive purposes . kagome is also capable of spiritual reflection , wherein her opponents spiritual energy is thrown back at them . another key skill is kagome’s innate spiritual awareness , which allows her to perceive or sense unwordly things such as ghosts , spirits or demonic auras . illusion & demonic immunity is another natural ability ; she upholds it effortlessly due to her aforementioned immense spiritual power , in addition to her usually being free of negative emotions . purification is one of her more developed skills ; kagome is able to purify malevolent forces , such as demonic energy or miasma . she does this by releasing pure spiritual energy , which she constantly releases unconsciously , however its far more powerful when concentrated through tools like her arrows . infamously known for her miraculous ability to time travel , kagome is able to travel between modern day & feudal japan . additionally , she is immune to any time-stopping spells , as she has a flow of time unique to her . last but not least , archery . kagome’s extensive travels throughout a warrning country helped shaped her into a fair marksman & archer . eye colour : brown . hair colour : black . family members : mother anka higurashi , younger brother sota higurashi , grandfather , husband inuyasha , daughter moroha , brother-in-law sesshomaru , sister-in-law moe , nieces setsuna  /  towa  /  mei . pets : her family cats name is buyo . she’s a female calico . the name buyo seems to be from the japanese onomatopoeia of a squishing noise which can also mean flabby or squishy .

something they don’t like : injustice , discrimination , rainy days , artificial flowers , white feminism , math , hypocritical behaviour , breaking in shoes , bad hygiene . hobbies/activities : writing ❪ in her journal most actively , but also poetry , short stories & novels ❫ , calligraphy , ikebana , herbalism , cooking , skating , bicycling , archery , swimming , & embroidery  /  sewing  /  knitting  /  stitching  . ever hurt anyone before : by nature , kagome is a kindhearted , compassionate & benevolent individual . that said , she does have a strong sense of justice & never hesitates to rise against those oppose her beliefs . she chooses her battles , but fights hard , especially when she’s fighting someone whose hurt her friends or family . prior to falling in love with inuyasha , she had little to no genuine moments of selfishness or greed . it wasn’t until she wanted him so strongly that we begin to see more relatable behaviour from kagome , especially in regards to her complicated relationship with kikyo . additionally , one could argue that her repeated indifference has hurt hojo on more than one occasion . animal that represents them : butterly . the butterfly is one of the most emblematic totem animals , symbolizing powerful  /  personal transformation , metamorphosis in your life , renewal  /  rebirth , lightness of being , playfulness , elevation from earthly matters , tuning into emotional or spiritual energy , & the world of the soul . worst habits : overworking , not getting enough sleep , having a huge to-do list , daydreaming , extensive inner-monologues , & exclusively in regards to her respective relationships with inuyasha & sota , losing her temper .

role models : first & foremost , her mother . they’ve always had a very healthy , respectful & loving relationship . when kagome’s father died , her mother was still pregnant with sota . being thrust into a such harsh reality was horrific for all those involved , but nevertheless , her mother , anka , continuously put her best foot forward & solidified herself with breathtaking resolve . kagome saw firsthand how her mother held things together for their family , built a new life for them , & continued to be a beacon of unconditional love & support throughout the entirety of her life . another significant role model for kagome is aung san suu kyi , who campaigned for democracy in burma . she became the first state counsellor of myanmar & was awarded a nobel peace prize for her non-violent struggels for democracy & human rights . kagome also admires audrey hepburn , a beloved actress who is revered not only for her acting skills but also her philanthropic work as a unicef ambassador . she led a life devoted to kindness & compassion while being a phenomenal mother , wife & humanitarian . sexual orientation : undetermined , potentially pansexual . thoughts on marriage/kids : kagome has always been a lover of love . growing up she never particularly ached or yearned for a significant other , nor does she feel the need to define herself by her romantic affairs , but she still finds love in all of its forms to be a beautiful , magical thing . she has no opposition for marriage , but carries a multitude of ambitions for her future & never held marriage as a significant priority when picturing her life . on the subject of children , kagome adores them ! she has very strong , innate maternal instincts , & can definitely finds a sense of fulfillment in nurturing the spiritual growth of children . she does want to be a mother , but it is one of many wishes for her future , & again , not a main priority . to be happy , healthy & able to give  /  receive love is what she thinks is most important .

style preferences : kagome has long since held a considerably girly fashion sense , while regularly teetering between a modest & more playful style . her wardrobe primarily consists of dresses & skirts . kagome has a particular fascination for snug sweaters & bulky cardigans that envelop her whole . she loves all colours but typically wears pastels , pinks & blues in her day-to-day . she also often wears wedge heels , moccasins or loafers . approach to friendships : notwithstanding her personal experiences with bullying when she was younger , kagome maintained a levelheaded demeanour in life , with school being no exception . she treats all with fairness & respect . kagome will normally stay to her usual group of friends , but will never hesitate to branch out to someone , should the situation call for it .even if she doesn't say a word , her feelings are known to be easy to read due to her honest expressions , which generally cause those around her to soften in tough situations & consequently be honest in return .

thoughts on pie : loves pie , especially homemade . can bake it herself but prefers her mothers . favourite drink : ice water & green tea ❪ jasmine , sencha , matcha , genmaicha & hojicha are a few favourites ❫ . favourite place to spend time at : kagome is a firm believer of the  ❛  it’s not about the place , it’s about the company  ❜  way of seeing things . however , she does have a fondness for the sacred tree  /  the forest of inuyasha . also, while she doesn’t actually go back to visit , she does have a special place in her heart for her old family home from before they moved to the shrine , as she has many memories of time there with her father .

swim in the lake or in the ocean : the ocean . their type : kagome has never found herself drawn to a particular type , at least not in regards to appearances . what is essential to her in a significant other , is a good heart . it’s not required that she agrees with them on every matter , but she needs to be able to accept & respect their point of view . if she can’t , if their heart  /  beliefs  /  values oppose her defined sense of justice in any way , she won’t overlook it . while that is most important , she may also be interested in adventurers ; people with great ambition & drive , people who are wanting to better themselves &  /  or better the world . camping or indoors : so , whilst traversing between modern day & sengoku jidai , she did unearth a newfound love & appreciation for the beauty of nature . however , as she often spent extensive periods of time outdoors , it also made her appreciate the everyday indulgences one can access through means such as indoor plumbing , electricity , hot water , etc . of course as said before , so long as the company is good , she will make the most of whatever situation she’s in , but in this instance she sees the value in either choice . everything in moderation , really .

𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 : @7theaven​ ! thank u sm sweetheart i loved this . 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 : @senpujin​ , @slaheir​ , @devilreno​ , @ofmsfortune​ , @warriorhe​ , @balynce​ , @ymagishi​ , @bkugs​ , @innosen​ , @drakenskies​ , @tofiorire​ , @crimsonacrosstime​ , @puppet-slayer​ , @daikusedai​ , @conflictedhanyou​ & whoever else is interested !

[kendrixtermina]

edeleth

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - As long as El manages to survive 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - For El there was definitely some level of immediate attraction which spiraled into some serious fondness throughout part I. Byleth didn’t think anything of it until she offered them that position as a royal advisor following the 2nd mock battle and generally got them thinking about/ considering their own future for the first time instead of just doing what everyone expects. They start actually acting on it once they defected from the church (as Byleth was still technically her instructor before that and she wasn’t sure she could rly trust them) They were sort of inofficially together soon after the time skip. 

How was their first kiss? - It happened at the provisional encampment after one of those big emotional conversations. 

Wedding:

Who proposed? - If I remember the S rank correctly, El brought the conversation in that direction but By-By was the first one to actually pull out the ring

Who is the best man/men? - Hubert. None one is more surprised about this than he is. 

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Dorothea (and, in case they’re both brides, Bernadetta. Lysithea or Constance would also be options if they survived this timeline)

Who did the most planning? - El.

Who stressed the most? - El. 

How fancy was the ceremony? -Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. - This really depends on wether we’re talking dude or lady Byleth. In general Edelgard isn’t much for tradition and would defy the royal pomp, even in her endings with the dudes she only marries them if he’s explicitly the type to be interested in that so overall the tendency would be towards small private ceremony with only the Black Eagle Strike Force present, but if we’re talking lady Byleth there would be huge political/symbolic value in having two women with super rare crests flagrantly “waste” them by marrying each other making it clear that they don’t mean to produce heirs, to make a big deal about the end of hereditary rule and crest obsession - so in that case we’re doing the lavish royal wedding just to spite the status quo.  

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Arundel, assuming he wasn’t dead already. 

Sex:

Who is on top? - Byleth. Edelgard already has to be in control in her day job so she’d prolly want a break from that

Who is the one to instigate things? - El but like usually by saying something soppy

How healthy is their sex life? -Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? -Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Depends on how much work they had to do that particular day

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yup.

How rough are they in bed? -Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. (bust mostly in private)

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - I can actually see em having quite a bunch since Edelgard comes from a big family herself. The kids are either named after their fathers or close mutual friends. 

How many children will they adopt? - …or they could take in some war orphans as a kind of atonement. 

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Byleth. Though that has more to do with the fact that they don’t run a country than lack of dedication on El’s part she definitely helps too

Who is the stricter parent? - El. But Byleth still gets the kids to listen with more subtle methods

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Byleth

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Byleth

Who is the more loved parent? - Byleth

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Both would make a point to show up methinks

Who cried the most at graduation? - El.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Byleth

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Probably Byleth. It’s not that El doesn’t want to, but contrary to what she believes, it is NOT faster if you use an axe. 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Neither very much. 

Who does the grocery shopping? - Byleth. El is too busy. 

How often do they bake desserts? - Frequently enough given how much El likes them

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Nom stuff galore

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - About equal I think

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - El

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - El. 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both, but El would probably be slightly more finnicky and hence end up doing it slightly more

Who is really against chores? - Neither

Who cleans up after the pets? - Byleth

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Byleth

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - El

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Byleth

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - El. I see Byleth being the “quick shower, washes everything with a bar of soap or at most 2 in 1 shampoo“ type

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Byleth

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Very rarely / only it was some holiday that actually had personal significance to them

What are their goals for the relationship? - To support each other during all their undertakings

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Byleth

Who plays the most pranks? - Byleth (in case you couldn’t tell from all those sassy dialogue options)

[nightwingshero]

A B C and 20 for all OCs but you can combine for the letter questions just general if you want.

A. Why are you excited about this character?

Wren - She is the one closest to me. In my own mind, she’s the most realistic character I’ve created yet. Her and Emma (from Call of Duty) share pieces of me that I’ve tried to express, if that makes sense. Now granted, they all do. But those two are the biggest, and Wren is the number 1 of the two. I admire Wren, even if she does become bad, because she’s following her own path, no matter what. She’s honestly my favorite. Wren is the product of..4 months of development before her content was being released. Her process started last September. 

Rowan - She was a supporting character for Wren. I never really wanted to develop her as much as I have, but well...she sneaked up on me, tbh. Rowan just...snowballed into a character that complimented Wren in the perfect way that I needed for Wren’s canon. And it just...became a Jacob ship. I loved the idea of Eli having a sister, creating a deeper conflict in the Whitetails. She’s unique in this story, and has her own place.

Jane - Jane was in the same boat as Rowan, and she came to be after Rowan. I couldn’t kill her off as much as I tried. The more I wrote, the more I entertained just the slightest idea of Jane, it strengthened her canon. Jane was never ever going to be just a support character, and it took me a long time to realize that. She’s a strong character with such fun witty sarcasm that compliments Wren in a way you never expect. You expect conflict, but it actually turns into a friendship you wouldn’t see coming. Now, her story is tragic, but I wanted a character that didn’t end up having a happy ending with her ship. There had to be consequences. And Jane was the perfect person to take it. She’s also my ‘Viking Princess’.

Whitney - Whit is so...new. So different. I’m not AT ALL religious. And here I am, creating a character who is fully religious and bought into Joseph’s word. Whitney...Whitney almost got cut. I used her for AU’s and that’s it. She was so on the fence, but I was so sure that she didn’t have a place in the canon story. But I couldn’t resist giving each Seed a special someone. And honestly, Anna Camp sealed Whitney’s fate. She’s just a fun way to grow as a writer.

Randy - My dude. He is the very first main male OC I have ever created. And he’s been in development for as long as Wren has. Those two were practically created together, and that sibling relationship translates into all the AU’s and canon. It always will. That’s the point, that’s their dynamic. It was so important to me to show that a woman and a man can have a healthy, loving, platonic relationship without it being something else...and after creating Wren’s backstory, it was so damn important to create a strong male support for her in the story that wasn’t sleeping with her. She loses friends and ties in her arc, it’s so important that she has something to show that not every man is her father, and that she has a brother she never knew she wanted or needed. He’s my second favorite. 

B. What inspired you to create them?

Wren - It was time to create a more...complicated character. Not that Emma isn’t, but Emma is also a good guy through her whole arc. Wren is the first OC I’ve created that turned dark. She has a tragic and complicated history that I wanted to play with. I just wanted to play with psychology and philosophy with her, the way the game had when I first played it. 

Rowan - Nemesis inspired some of Wren, and Artemis inspired some of Rowan. I wanted Wren to have a best friend. And I thought Eli having a sibling would be so much fun, and I was right! I wanted a sunny character with flaws, and Rowan was born.

Jane - I wanted a badass character, honestly. Someone to watch interact with Wren, Rowan, and many of the other characters I don’t tie with the others, like Grace. She’s inspired by Norse mythology and Viking culture. I fucking love her, okay? She’s beast. 

Whitney - Anna Camp sealed Whit’s fate, but she was inspired by Nancy. I wanted more with Nancy and I wanted to play with something different. Also being able to do something different for my writing.

Randy - I wanted to try my hand at having a fully developed and independent male oc, and omg, I am not disappointed. He was inspired by the Chosen that helps deliver the Deputy for the Cleansing, and wow...I’m so glad I decided to do it. 

C. Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

Not really, for the most part. Wren was more timeline through the game, and some of the same thing with Rowan. Rowan was the easiest. Jane and Randy just kinda fell in place, honestly. I think Whitney was a bit more difficult, because she was so new for me and different. And tying someone with Joseph was kinda hard for me. But overall, it went okay. 

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic, platonic, or familial love, how would they?

Wren - She would point at John and go “I love him and wanna fuck him. So, romantic.” Points at Jacob, Rowan, and the other family members “love them because we’re related. Sleeping with them grosses me out. Family love.” Points at Randy, Adelaide, and Jane. “I love them and we’re besties. I also don’t like the idea of sleeping with them. Although Jane is a hard maybe.”

Rowan - She would talk about boundaries and where you feel people fall. She’ll use Eli as an example that family love is...well, you don’t have the choice. Friends, you can kinda choose. But romantic...the heart wants what it wants.

Jane - This girl will tell you that you shouldn’t really love if you can help it, but she’s a hypocrite, because she loves John and Wren. She would say romantic love sucks, family love is complicated, and platonic love is chosen family.

Whitney - Would straight up bible quote you or something. She would do it in some weird God explaining way that would just confuse you, but she’s so happy doing it, you just nod along. Apparently romantic love is marriage, platonic love is love thy neighbor, and familial love is your duty to your family. She’s weird, we don’t ask her things like that. 

Randy - he would shrug, he has no clue. Probably point at Wren and go “yeah, what she said. Sounds about right.”

[sugagimmesugar]

Forever

Part 3 of the Yoongi X Reader Angst. Inspired by Lewis Capaldi’s song “Forever”

“Darling, nobody said that it would last forever

That doesn’t mean we didn’t try to get there”

That text, you shouldn’t have sent it. Telling your ex that you love them? That’s the dumbest thing you can do, period. But you couldn’t help yourself after how broken Yoongi had looked on TV. It was obvious that the stylists had tried their best, but as soon as he had taken off his sunglasses…. Your heart just stopped. His eyes sunken deep into his skull, the broken heart and exhaustion practically spelled out in his eyes. The dark circles under his eyes were worse than you had ever seen them. He looked more dead than alive. He had lost weight too, the already thin man now even thinner.

You shouldn’t have sent that text, but you had been too worried about the man you love to stop yourself. And god, you had missed him so much. Everyday. No matter what you did, he had always been there in the back of your head.

In the almost three months since the breakup, the media attention to your person had dwindled down quite quickly. You had actually been left in peace after only two weeks of constant demands for a statement. And those stopped after you tweeted in response to the official statement sent out by Yoongi.

Your few friends in this foreign country, they had been by your side, trying to understand why the two of you had ended it. Why You had ended it. But how could they? Not a lot of people can relate to your situation, so you had asked them to stop trying. And they did. Instead you chose to simply ignore what had happened, everything between you and Yoongi now a thing of the past anyways. You hadn’t moved on, obviously. But you had tried to somewhat silence your feelings, seeming they would never lead anywhere, only keep you from finding happiness with a normal person.

There was more than enough self-help literature out there, on how to get over a breakup quickly, and you had tried, but somehow you always ended up alone, crying and listening to sad love songs, all while eating whatever quick, unhealthy indulgence you had whipped up that day. Often with a bottle of wine as your company of choice.

It wasn’t healthy, but it wasn’t supposed to be.

You had to go back to work, of course. Your old job taking you back with open arms, you couldn’t believe your luck. For eight hours a day, you were no longer “BTS Suga’s Ex-Girlfriend”, you were just a cook. You weren’t famous, just doing your job. And it helped so much. The routine, the work you love, it helped you turn off your brain, your broken heart quiet for a while.

Unfortunately, every night when you got home from work, the pain was that much stronger, as if your brain finally opened the floodgates on eight hours of grief and heartbreak.

Crying yourself to sleep is just something you do at this point, it doesn’t surprise you. Drinking every night has become a routine as well.

The only thing that got through to you in your slump of casual harmful coping mechanisms was him. When you saw him on TV earlier… it had been a heartbreak worse than when he had walked out. Seeing him suffer… Seeing him explode like that on TV, Fuck. He must be doing bad. You had seen it on every one of the member’s faces, too. They had kept up the usual interview mask, but when he started to get loud in his answer, they all just looked so painfully concerned. Seeing that even the men who had to have been by his side daily were this concerned, it unraveled something in you. The love you had tried to shut away, to ignore, to drown out with alcohol, food and tears. It was back at the forefront of your emotions.

So you had texted him, and regretted it as soon as you hit “send”. How would this help anyone?

The fact that the “delivered” changed to “read” within seconds only made you more anxious.

And then he didn’t answer. Why didn’t he answer?

*Yoongi*

He had hoped for a positive reaction, but never would he have expected this.

#wearesorryyoongi and #wearesorryy/n

It was trending worldwide.

All of ARMY was just pouring out their love, their regret, their apologies. Many of the most vocal opponents of his relationship, their accounts had disappeared. Just deleted. The few that were left were mostly quiet.

It felt unreal.

His timeline on every social network was flooded with love. Everybody was supporting him now. Many were commenting on how bad he looked, how hurt. It had made them realise. Realise that no matter how much they loved him, they could not fill the space in his life that was meant for a partner. So they had backed off.

He felt like he was living in a fairytale.

Many idols had already started posting in support as well, now suddenly also openly condemning how he and y/n had been treated by the media and fans alike. How the whole industry was treating idols, their love lives, their private lives.

Somehow he hoped that his heartbreak would pave the way for actual change in the industry. Celebrities all over the world were hounded when they dated anyone, but with Idols, it often got out of hand since the closeness between them and their fans meant that the fans felt more connected to their Idols, felt they knew them so well, had some kind of claim on them, even.

His eyes were wide with shock, lined with tears, both of joy and sadness as he realised that this might be too late. Too late for him and his love. But he still kept scrolling through everything online, the love from the fans making his heart a little lighter. Around him, the other members were smiling brightly, proud both of Yoongi’s impact and their fans.

Jungkook was almost jumping up and down with excitement: “Hyung! Look! Everybody is tweeting at her, telling her they’re sorry. They listened.” The younger man’s big eyes shining brightly at the rapper, Yoongi smiles. It’s hesitant, but nonetheless, a smile.

While the public reaction was mostly apologies, his friends’ texts were of a different nature. It was a wave of “Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help?”.

He hadn’t cared how bad he looked, how little he ate, how little he slept. But now he was out of the house again, had been on TV as well. So now everybody who just thought he had taken some time for himself, they had all seen how bad he was doing.

As he responds to the texts, trying to come up with something to make people less concerned, he suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder. It’s Jin, a soft smile on his face as he looks down on his friend. “Let’s eat. I ordered extra everything, you look like you can use it.”

The care, the love surrounding him, online but most importantly right here, it breaks his heart to see how concerned everybody is. He tries to smile, but feels the tears streaming down his face silently, as the relief and the pain wash over him, yet again.

Immediately, they’re all right there, their hugs too tight, their faces full of love, of support and what looks like fear.

It’s Hobi who decides to break the silence, break off the group-hug to air out his anger.

“Why didn’t you call me? Call anyone? Why do you always try to suffer alone? We are right here! Always! It’s been almost three months but you look like you’re dead. We are your family, why didn’t you call us? Why did it take a TV-appearance for us to get to see you? You changed the code to the apartment, you didn’t respond to my texts, to any of our texts, and you were doing this badly?”

The anger, the pain on his face is written in plain sight. Looking around, the same pain is in everyone’s eyes, the anger less apparent than in his best friend’s words. But the question doesn’t just come from Hoseok, it comes from all of them.

And Yoongi doesn’t have an answer. He didn’t call them because he didn’t want to. Somewhere deep in his heart, he didn’t want to get through this. If it didn’t end with him and his love being okay again, he didn’t want it.

But that won’t help his friends to feel better. So he just says “I’m sorry.” over and over again. To each one of them. Because he saw how bad he looks. Because he knows how much they love him. And he is sorry. Sorry for making his friends scared from looking at him.

So he eats everything, even if it almost makes him sick. He smiles and laughs with them, letting whoever is closest to him hold on to him as if they’re checking for a pulse. And after a while of all of them together, the smiles aren’t forced anymore. They are real. And he can feel himself healing. It’s a long way to go, but he is moving forward.

[zenosanalytic]

HSE 4/20/19 6

Alright; had a busy day yesterday but I’m back at it for a bit, at least:

MEAT 11

I wonder if John having trouble yelling in this place means it’s separated him from “Breath” in some way. I don’t think it does since there’s obvsl light and space in this location, but neither Rose nor Jade seem to be able to use their abilities, either(and, ofc, no one is suffocating). It could be that being “inside”(?) the JuJu suppresses abilities(since John COULD use his from the White Space, so this space has different properties). Within it they’re outside of canon, but their powers work just fine on EarthC, so that can’t be it. Myb it separates them from the metaphysical(which would be why no time exists there since it’s by nature a metaphysical abstraction or derivative), while still possessing physical qualities(like atmosphere, space, form, light, etc). Or it could just be power-suppression.

Also: we’re all in agreement they’re arranged in the four sections of the logo, like oh so many fanarts of the past, right?

Did John really hang around with Terezi enough to feel this deeply about her, or have such a well-formed opinion? I suppose how one feels about another isn’t so much a question of time as impact though. she DID

Badgerflirt him to death in another timeline

lead him partway through an Epic Quest which gave him a Cool Rocketpack in his personal timeline

give him an Epic Quest to Hateflirt with her throughout her life, then die dramatically before him, all as part of a plan to get him to save his and her shared friend’s life by punching her in her stupid face.

and John is 1)pretty perceptive and 2)prone to strong immediate judgements, so I suppose it fits.

Also This:

is just a Gr8 description of Terezi and I Love It uwu

Though at the same time: imagining that some friend is totally awesome and lacking in flaws and difficulties of their own, which would allow them to fix YOUR problems easily if they’d been around, is not terribly healthy, and also a subtle way to beat yourself up (:( (:(

MEAT 12

Ok, so this is the infamous Jade Quote section.

I actually don’t mind it. In context, I think it’s fine and totally works; yes, it’s way too forward and groanworthy, but it’s meant to be as the whole purpose/arc of this section is Jade trying to goad Dave and Karkat into facing emotions&desires which they’re repressing&avoiding for reasons of anxiety&(understandable)fears of vulnerability/loss/hurt. And also Jade’s generally been pretty straight-forward and blunt(while still repressing and hiding alot herself) since her dreamself’s death(which is it’s own thing. Like: Yes, I do think this section is also meant to show some of Jade’s issues, even if it’s presenting Jade as being more aware, active, and dynamic than Dave and Karkat here).

Like: Dave and Karkat are deeply important to one another, they bring a lot of happiness into each others lives, and they also carry around alot of trauma specifically related to intimacy and cohabitation and emotional honesty which obvsl causes them lots of anxiety and makes opening up to other people, ESPECIALLY physically, really fucking scary. And, both of them being super-avoidant and prone to passive support in certain respects(by which I mean: they avoid talking about uncomfortable stuff, and support others by trying to be available and distracting rather than facing the problem, then brushing off their support as “the natural thing” or actually not support), means that, absent outside meddling, they’ll both basically just swirl around each other comfortably flirting forever, never taking a chance on pursuing anything more they might want. Which isn’t to say nonsexual relationships are bad or anything, they’re not, and neither is it “bad” that they’ve kept their rom til now nonsexual, or even, necessarily, that they’ve allowed it to exist without labeling it “love” or “romance”; those choices are the choices that were comfortable and safe and non-stressful for them, they had every right to make them, and that they live together without stress or conflict is proof that they were “good” ones. But at the same time: there’s a big distance between a healthy, long term, asexual relationship, and one where the participants desire one another, but their anxieties and hangups prevent sexual exploration, let alone (and more importantly)deeper emotional honesty and intimacy. Particularly when that goes to the point of actively excluding one member because of their unwillingness to pretend those, difficult to face and process, feelings aren’t there.

And yes, Jade’s def going about this a bit too head-on and too bluntly, this really is a subject that ought to be worked through sensitively and slowly, but

I sense from the writing that this is meant to be taken as just the lastest(and perhaps exasperated?) step in a long, long process of her trying to engage them on how she feels for them and how she (correctly, I think)thinks they feel for her

Jade’s own issues predispose her towards such approaches

Jade doesn’t like dealing honestly with introspection and the more “down” emotions any more than John does, but the way she handles them is not through denial and feigned ignorance, but rather Suppression and trying to bury them with Happiness and Enthusiasm. This is part of why Jade, despite her intelligence and power, usually tries to solve problems by barrelling through them, getting between them, or overpowering them(much like she tries to Math and Logic her way through this particular conversation; steamrolling Dave with her Rightness and Verve rather than the sort of [painful and exhausting]genuine emotional engagement that could actually generate a constructive response[see: his talk with Dirk in the Endgame]), rather than working/thinking around/through them. She’s not the type to walk a maze; she’s the type to smash it’s walls down. And that’s what she’s trying to do here. She’s tried, for a decade, to talk through these issues with them, or perhaps instigate an Encounter(though she’s always been a bit messy, so I dont read her bras being all over the couch as being attempted seduction as Dave does here[if I’m reading the narration right]. Possibly territory marking, though, which could be described as adjacent?).

HAVING SAID ALL THAT:

I totally get the frustration and anger at the first we see of Jade being about sex, romance, and other people. Jade’s been given a super raw deal by HS canon; her WHOLE STORYLINE since Cascade has been entirely about other people, and specifically her responding to/dealing with/interpreting for other people re: her romantic relationships&feelings; and to see her agency, yet again, getting expressed entirely through romance, to see her again for the first time in a context that presents her as exclusively or primarily concerned with relationships and sex, is pretty galling. One could certainly offer psychological explanations rooted in isolation for all this but the fact was This Was a Narrative Choice. It was a narrative choice to leave her in canon at a unsolicited kiss, and a narrative choice to reintroduce her in the Epilogues through an attempt to talk Dave and Karkat into dating her; literally presenting her sexuality as preeminent within her characterization in the work. There’s a hell of a lot more to her than that; she was never really presented as especially interested in physical intimacy in canon despite the prominence relationship and attraction was given in her arc; and I can totally understand ppl reading it as yet another example of Jade’s story being about dudes rather than her.

ok, think I’m going to stop there today.

[thelittlepalmtree]

What is a healthy ship?

I think about this a lot, because we through the word “toxic” around constantly. I actually love the word toxic to describe relationships that are draining, because like radioactive or poisonous materials, toxic behavior may be unnoticeable on a given day or it may have a big affect all at once. However, because of overuse of the word, I’m going to talk about healthy vs unhealthy.

So first of all, let’s identify things that are risk factors: A relationship between a boss and an employee (even after that dynamic has ended), a relationship with a significant age gap, a relationship between people of different social strata, a relationship between a person who has financial control of another person, and a relationship with a history of aggression/dislike of one another, a relationship between a therapist/social worker/doctor and a client, a relationship between a teacher and student, a relationship between people of different physical abilities, etc.

Obviously these risk factors vary in many ways. That’s because what makes a relationship unhealthy is a clear and dramatic divide between the partners. This is true of every relationship. That’s why teachers, doctors, therapists etc have strict regulations and ethics because the people they serve are in their power. Abusing that power is wrong. Now you can have some risk factors, and not be in an unhealthy relationship. In fact most if not all relationships have some risk factors for an unhealthy dynamic (common).  For example, people of different social strata can have healthy relationships, they just need to work that out and find ways not to let that into their relationship. And there are millions of healthy relationships where one partner has financial control of the family, but is not abusive.

Then there are gray areas. Personally, I think that a relationship between a boss and an employee isn’t inherently abusive as long as they are no longer boss and employee (look at Aunt Hilda and Dr. Cerberus on TCOS, Ben and Leslie in Parks and Rec). But there are so many factors involved that if one of my friends told me she had a crush on her boss, I’d tell her not to pursue it and I heard a boss was trying to pursue a relationship with an employee I’d immediately be uncomfortable. But a lot of it depends on the job relationship, have they always been boss and employee? How dependent is the employee on the good graces of the boss? Is the boss using rewards or punishments at work to control the employee in the relationship? Is the boss directly managing the employee? I have a similar thing about age differences. Often people are quick to condemn a 20 year old dating a sixteen or seventeen year old, but there are so many factors that you really have to look at it on a case by case basis. Similarly I know people who have very strong and loving relationships with a 7-10 year age difference that met when the younger one was in their early 20s and the older one was in their 30s. Personally, that isn’t something I’m interested as a 20something trying to date, but that doesn’t mean that every relationship like that will be terrible.

That being said, there are some risk factor that are always bad (absolute). A relationship between a therapist, counselor, personal aid, or any profession that gives the professional intimate and necessary knowledge of the person is wrong. If you need that explained think about Elijah Wood in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Did he skeeve you out? Yeah, that’s why the “my therapist is hot and I want to date them” plot is often very cringe. A relationship with an adult and a child, is always going to be bad (If you’re wondering where that line is, you’re too close to it). A relationship with a history of abuse is always going to be a relationship that is unhealthy. 

The thing is, if the relationship hasn’t happened yet, and it doesn’t have one of the clearly wrong risk factors, whether it’s actually abusive or not is really up for debate. A lot of time we throw the word abusive around for ships we don’t like. Sometimes it’s about misinformation, where people assign an absolute risk factor to a relationship in which there is no absolute risk factor. A big one for this is buckynat, a ship I adore. I’ll go into the age difference (which is one of many things that does not make sense):

the primary canon for the ship is in the comics based on Black Widow: Deadly Origins (the last comic to give specific dates for Natasha’s life)  they met when Natasha was twenty eight and Bucky was thirty nine. Not a significant age difference when you consider that at this point they both have anti-aging bastardized super serum that will keep them both alive for sixty three more years and counting. While other comics have alluded to changing the timeline, they have not actually provided different dates or information (there’s also some discrepancy as to whether or not Natasha was continuously with department X or not).

In the MCU (not that it matters now) it would probably not be hard to establish Natasha as older than the date given in CA:TWS and it would actually empower her to say that she has a version of the serum (where right now she’s just a normal human) and undo the horrible concept that she was sterilized as a graduation from the red room (in the comics she can’t have children because the serum makes pregnancy impossible unless you take immune system suppressants). If they didn’t want to go with this plot line, they could also just have Bucky and Natasha meet in the early 2000s right before she defected (Iron man 2 came out in 2010 if she met Bucky in 2004 when she was 20 she’d still have six years to defect).

And yet there is some strange insistence that if Bucky and Natasha even look at each other in the movies it will be some sort of pedophilia because of a throwaway line in CA:TWS, and based off of almost no evidence from either of the two reservoir of content we have. And rather than just say “I don’t like this ship” it’s been called unhealthy from every angle. Ironically in the comics it was one of the healthiest and most supportive ships which is why so many people fell in love with it. (but that’s for a different blog)

 Then there’s the assigning a gray area risk factor to a ship and insisting it always means that relationship will be unhealthy. I have to admit, I can be guilty of this. And I’m calling myself out right now because I do this to the reylo ship all the time. The thing is, these are legitimate reasons to not ship a ship, they’re gray areas and if you’re like me, the very existence of these risk factors makes the idea of the two characters being together seem cringe-y. So my Reylo analysis below:

The risk factor that makes Reylo seem unhealthy is the fact that Rey and Kylo had very few positive interactions in the first film, and in fact their most in depth conversation was while Kylo was hurting Rey. But, given the circumstances, it is possible they might get together. Think about Katarra and Zuko, who were on different sides of the same war, and then later became good friends (and personally I shipped them like crazy). It’s commonly accepted that in movies with grand fantastic implications, that two people who are on different sides can later become friends when one of them makes a major personal change.

Now, in the second movie, it seems fairly evident that that character change has yet to happen. But speaking from personal experience, it takes a lot for someone to be a better person. While it’s not a good idea to get together with someone to change them, it’s not like that’s an impossible thing to do, but also Kylo and Rey are not together and have yet to get together in the films. So presumably most of the shippers are hoping for Kylo to make better choices before the two characters get together.

That’s the thing about shipping. No one ships the version of Reylo where Kylo is a whiny bitch who wants to take over the metaphor for the original nazi army metaphor (they’re called storm troopers people) and he spends all day emotionally manipulating Rey just to make her feel bad. The ones who do ship it, like that Kylo and I guess Rey have to become better people first. They don’t ship things as they are now, they are excited about the potential happiness these characters can find.

While this isn’t a good way to live your life (i.e. don’t date someone who isn’t their best self right now), it can be a fantasy for someone. I get it, the idea that the person you like isn’t great yet but eventually they’ll get their shit together. The thing that makes it nice is the fact that it never happens in real life. So if that’s what you’re into, cool. You do you. If your version of the ship is okay, we’re good.

Then there’s the last method of calling a ship unhealthy. That is taking a number of common nearly universal risk factors and using it as evidence to say the ship is unhealthy. To me this is the grossest misuse and one of the most common. It is almost always used against canon ships that get in the way of the popular ship and it can honestly push people out of the fandom. The example I’m going to use here is the ship Karamel, because once again I did not ship it at all. But I saw so much Karamel hate that I’m familiar with the ridiculousness of the some of the arguments. Analysis below:

Where to start with this one. Honestly everything was thrown at this ship. The fact that Mon-El was kind of a dick in the beginning. The fact that his parents were bad people. The fact that he told her he liked her multiple times. The fact that Kara took some time to show interest in him. Yes, if a relationship is abusive, these might have been early red flags, but this relationship was not abusive. It wasn’t the best relationship ever. But Mon-El never disrespected Kara’s choices or ingnored her when she said stop or no.

The truth is, sometimes people have crushes on people and it’s not mutual. In this situation, they had to remain a part of each others’ lives, and honestly, I’m glad that Mon-El was honest with his feelings. Because for him, Kara’s friendship was really important, and she was constantly pushing him to be open wit his feelings and to be more emotionally mature. So when he was honest, even though the conversation was risky, I think it was the right decision.

Here’s the problem with labeling this relationship as abusive. Obviously, the implication is that Mon-El is abusive. When you are in an abusive relationship, it isn’t a choice. It’s something that happens to you, because an abuser will constantly lie and gaslight you so that you have no real understanding of the facts and therefore cannot really make a choice. If you say Kara was in an abusive or “toxic” relationship just because she’s in a relationship you don’t like, you are taking away her choices. The best part of Supergirl is that Kara has to struggle to make choices whether they be right or wrong. She’s the one in control of the plot, she’s the driving force. So to then take all that away because you disagree with her choice in partner, really ignores her power and turns her into a passive, incapable woman. Whether or not you like her relationship with Mon-El, it is clear that she is the one that sets the boundaries and she is the one that drives it.

So then there are clearly abusive ships. I’m not going to do an in depth analysis but I think the best example is Jarley. The tamest incarnation of this ship Suicide Squad in which the Joker tortures her and then pushes her in a vat of toxic chemicals. It’s also a relationship between a therapist and a patient. A truly unhealthy relationship is one that satisfies most or all of the following criteria:

The couple is actually together in the canon (otherwise how would we actually analyze that dynamic?)

The couple has an absolute risk factor

There is evidence in canon of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse (this is not having an argument or teasing each other, for more info go here)

There is evidence of gaslighting or maniuplation (these must be intentional)

There is a clear power disparity between the characters

It’s important that we don’t over-label ships as abusive. First of all because there are a lot of people who are in abusive relationships or have been in abusive relationships all over the world. If they see that just any relationship that people don’t like is qualified as “abusive” it will become so much harder to then see their own relationships with clear eyes. I legitimately realized that my parents had been abusive to me because of some of the discourse here on tumblr. But if I was fifteen in the marvel fandom right now, it would be really hard for me to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy relationships. 

It’s also really important to make a distinction. Not all ships are created equal. There are dark corners of fandoms where parent/child ships grow and pedophilic ships are popular. And several fandoms have very popular incest (sibling) ships. These relationships are not okay. We need to be able to call them out undeniably. And every time you call a ship you don’t like unhealthy when it isn’t, you’re giving people a reason not to believe you when you do call out an unhealthy relationship.

Our words matter, and how we treat each other matters. It’s important to remember that there are no easy answers here. And also it’s okay to just not like something. You shouldn’t feel the need to justify it and you shouldn’t feel the need to declare it from the rooftops. My favorite ship is Buckynat. I’ve never once gotten mad for seeing a “how do you like buckynat?” “not my cup of tea” post. I get so upset when I see a “How do you like buckynat?” “oh it’s so TOXIC” post. In the same way that if you liked chocolate ice cream and your friend told you that chocolate ice cream is contributing to misogyny and trauma for women everywhere, you’d be a little up in arms.

If you read through this, thank you so much, you probably don’t need it. If not, well, you’re not here are you?

[dudebroreg]

I agree that it is weird and is supposed to be weird; weird enough to cause a huge branch and then further explained to the audience how weird it is by Mobius, and that it is an intended metaphor for loving oneself that will be a hit for some and miss for others. I mean, we’re dealing with a character who like a couple days ago in his own timeline tried to enslave all of Earth because he thought that would be a dope way to stick it to his dad and brother, so I’m not too bothered with him making a cosmically unconventional romantic choice (since they are, again, not narratively promoting something harmful in real life with this storyline). What I’m trying to hone in on is that people do this thing where when something on a show doesn’t mesh with them, not only is it a “I don’t like this” but it also has to go into this deep dive into why that thing is a problem beyond being not that person’s cup of tea, and likening this to incest was to me a particularly far reach in that super common fandom practice. We know that one of Sylvie’s biological parents was a version of Laufey and that her adoptive father was a version of Odin etc. just as there is probably some adjacent story for alligator Loki. ... Would it be incesty if Loki made out with that alligator? I mean, that would be problem for a whole bunch of other reasons, yes, but I’m going to go out on a limb that they probably don’t have the same genes? And certainly don’t perceive themselves as siblings? I’m elaborating on this aspect because you said it’s more like cloning Wolverine but is it though? /thor

Also do you think about the optics of this stuff in every story where there is a human who has a romantic and/or sexual relationship with a human-shaped outer space alien? You know that you’re technically watching an interspecies coupling and that those characters are not optimal for reproduction either, and more importantly, there’s a good chance that them having sex could cause a whole bunch of disease and stuff, right? Mating outside of your species can literally kill people but I don’t think anyone really cares about Star-Lord and Gamora getting it on for that reason. Because (due to the circumstance in that story and its irrelevancy to our lives unless we actually started mingling with humanoid aliens and had to figure those new social norms out) it just does not matter. And in story, they’ll probably just say that there are no such issues and that they can have all the disease free sex they want or even healthy half human half outer space alien babies. Because fuck it, why not?

What you said about “most people are just angry because” is in my opinion the reality for the most part for why this discourse is even happening in the fandom. There are people who wanted to see the male character paired with someone else, in this case Mobius, and that didn’t happen, so now it has to go beyond that and as a disingenuous form of attack Sylvie/Loki is likened to something it is nothing like... thinly veiling what most people really want to say with “uhhhh guys y’all support sibling sex now? Couldn’t be me! Imagine being immoral and shipping selfcest srtgjoisrjgtoritgj”.

I would have been here for Loki and Mobius going the route of allies to friends to lovers and can easily see how the story could have been written that way and been done well, and I can see how that’s disappointing, and I can see how someone hoping for that would be upset.

... but can’t they just say that?

Is it, like, hard to say “I really wanted for this show to go the route of the titular character being in a male/male relationship with a character I feel he has a lot of chemistry with and I feel that that would be stronger and bolder than the narrative choice that they made” without altering those words into “this storyline is problematic because Sylvie and Loki are basically like family, sort of like long lost siblings or clones of each other, and Marvel should be careful about promoting incest adjacent storylines because it is major cringe”?

It’s just super transparent and using a real issue like incest as a smokescreen in a crappy way.

I’m sure who needs to hear this but “selfcest” is not a thing that is comparable in any way to any real life crime or wrongdoing and is therefore not setting a bad example about anything and is therefore not a problematic component that needs to be called out. Anyone can like or not like a pairing, but this is like the pinnacle of reaching to explain why the pairing someone doesn’t like is also “inappropriate” or “toxic.” Falling for (if you take the framing and Mobius’s words at face value) an alternate timeline version of yourself is not a thing anyone will have an opportunity to do nor is it likely that any impressionable mind is going to watch this show and then feel like falling in romantic love with oneself is the move.

If you are going the genetic route with this, the sci-fi on this is so vague that it’s not even concrete that they are biologically family even if they share some cosmic Loki oneness. Just the fact that Sylvie established she was born as the Goddess of Mischief and one Loki is Black makes their physical “sameness” a question mark that will probably never be answered (and yes, people of different races/sexes/genders can be related to each other before someone points out the obvious. That’s not the point I’m making here 😂) and really doesn’t need to be answered because it’s not pivotal to the story nor is it an action anyone can repeat in real life.

… Also apparently one of them is a fucking alligator or something, though I will wait and see if that is its natural form. If it is, they are definitely not biological fam.

Like or don’t like them, whatever, but do we need to construct completely made up “problems”? Some of y’all are saying “we don’t support selfcest” like it’s an epidemic that the show is now normalizing. There’s only one physical real life act you even could compare it to, and if you are reading this, chances are you do it to yourself. … If you are here on a regular basis, chances are you do it to yourself more often than the average person in lieu of someone to do it for you, and that is okay too.

Love yourself… like Loki.

[cristinagooge]

Fast Products Of Law School - What's Required

Not known Facts About How Do I Prepare For Law School? : Umass Amherst Pre-law ...

While supportive outdoors connections are invaluable for new regulation pupils, a bad partnership is mosting likely to be a significant drain on your mental and psychological power. If you recognize points aren't going so well, make a tidy break (and prevent being in the 1L wagering swimming pool for "connections that will be over by Thanksgiving"). https://leonlovette.weebly.com/blog/erik-joffe

Utilize this summer season to socialize with loved ones, invest time with your kids or loved one, and also bank some goodwill before you're super active and emphasized out at all times. 4. Put healthy practices in position Any type of good habit takes some time to develop, and also the summertime is a blast to work with healthy and balanced eating, workout, and so forth.

So, take some "me time" this summertime to make certain you're as healthy as you can be prior to orientation. (As well as don't disregard your psychological health a couple of sessions with a therapist or coach can assist you begin strong, and also have a source to drop back on when points obtain tough (Neinstein Personal Injury Lawyers).) 5.

However you do wish to think seriously about exactly how law school works, as well as what you're mosting likely to be expected to do there. lawyers in Toronto. And also it can't injure to obtain a dive start on a few of the skills you'll require to make it through in law school. You can speak to attorneys you understand about their experiences, have a look at publications on the subject (your public library most likely has a lot of options), or pay attention to these podcast episodes for incoming 1Ls.

Our How To Prepare Myself For Law School As An Undergraduate ... Ideas

Accumulate your reading endurance Especially if you have actually run out school for numerous years, consider utilizing the summer to develop your endurance for reading challenging product, so the volume of reviewing you'll be doing as quickly as the term begins isn't so shocking. Choose a couple of tough non-fiction publications, as well as spend a hr or two every day reviewing them.

Any serious publication you deal with will certainly assist you build your stamina and also focus, so law school analysis won't be rather as much of a shock to the system. Best of good luck in law school, as well as enjoy your last summer before classes start!.

The most effective preparation for law school is a challenging undergraduate program. Regulation institutions are searching for students with diverse academic histories who can For details from the ABA on preparing for law school. There are numerous means beyond your undergraduate coursework that can prepare you for law school. Talk with legal representatives practicing in an area of passion and inquire what history is useful.

Work experience is also an excellent way of figuring out if lawful job will certainly fit your personality and also passions. Getting involved in university or community activities that are meaningful to you may enable a possibility to check out or check out functions that intrigue you. Such experience can increase skills (organization, study, public speaking, or functioning with the general public) and construct confidence in your choice of whether or not to seek a lawful career.

Barbri Law Preview: Preparing For Law School - Law ... for Dummies

Go through the Pre-Law Guide for additional information on preparing for law school! The pre-law suggesting office collaborates with several workplaces on school to offer a vast selection of occasions for pre-law students, consisting of Junior and Elder course conferences, admitted pupil panels, graduates talks, workshops, and so on . Regulation Day is an annual event held each autumn term that brings in ABA-approved law institutions from throughout the nation.

Click below for a complete listing of upcoming occasions. Students are urged to join pre-law student organizations, such as: Students will complete a strenuous research task on a legislative problem selected by the Teacher. Each pupil will certainly be assigned to an event on the initial day of the summer season term as well as is expected to protect his or her plan based research paper.

Contact Andreina Rosa at air@binghamton.edu!.?.! to learn more. Student voices matter! The Committee's objectives are:1. To improve pupil programs and Pre-Law advising offices by brainstorming workshop and event ideas 2. To promote a solid relationship with present pre-law trainees as well as the pre-law Advising Office3. To boost Pre-law experience at Binghamton College There are several internships offered through the Fleishman Facility for Occupation and Professional Advancement that will help prepare you for a job in legislation. An on the internet system linking Binghamton pupils with graduates helping to prepare them for an effective future, navigate their professions and, possibly, explore brand-new profession paths. Go here to find out more. This web page lists the scholarships and also honors that are offered through Binghamton College, SUNY as well as nationally. 509 Needed Disclosures -Provide thorough information regarding annually's inbound course at each ABA-accredited law school, including LSAT and also Grade Point Average quartiles, acceptance price, race and also ethnicity, tuition charges, living expenditures, and scholarships, attrition, and also transfers. Call Number: KF298.T46 2018ISBN: 9780804799256Publication Date: Aug 2018Flint,.

Michigan's water situation, the New Jersey" Bridgegate" rumor, Enron: all these events are instances of numerous forms of management failure. More especially, each represents marked failings amongst leaders with legal training. When we look closer at one occupation from which we frequently attract our political, company, as well as business leaders-- the legal career-- we locate a deep chasm between what Legislation Schools instruct and what the globe anticipates. Dangerous Leaders exposes the risks as well as outcomes of leaving legal representatives unprepared to lead.

Fascination About Timeline For Law School Prep Through Undergrad - Thoughtco

It offers Legislation Schools, regulation students, and the legal profession with the management devices and also versions to build a far better structure of leadership acumen. Anthony C. Thompson attracts from his twenty years of experience in global executive education for Ton of money 100 firms and his experience as a regulation professor to chart a course onward for much better management direction within the lawful academy. He maintains that these methods are persistent leadership failings that can have been avoided. In checking out these patterns of failures, it emerges that lawful education has basically misread its job. Thompson suggests an essential reconsidering of legal education and learning, based upon intersectional management, to prepare legal representatives to presume the kinds of functions that our progressively hectic world calls for. Whether trainees are considering going to law school from their undergraduate research studies or after acquiring professional job experience, preparing for law school is necessary.

The earlier you prepare for law school requirements, the far better. Although there are several different circumstances as well as academic histories amongst every trainee, in this blog, we will certainly go over exactly how to prepare for law school as a sophomore in their basic research studies. With Thanksgiving right around the corner, you may be brainstorming prospective solution to Aunt Linda's favorite question:" What are you going to utilize that degree for?" After offering some thought,.

How to Plan Going to Law School: What ...

we'll simply confess: "lawful education & law school" is an alluring, outstanding response. The list wherefore to do as a sophomore if you desire to go to law school is rather short. More notably, it might be a bit prematurely to take the LSAT, yet it's never ever too early for LSAT prep work. Beginning investigating just how you're mosting likely to prep for the LSAT or just how.

Law School as an Undergraduate ...

How to Prepare For Lsat

you're mosting likely to find an lsat tutor. In the meanwhile, here are some pointers to reinforce your application:: Law school admissions greatly depend upon your numbers. Student year is generally the time that university student start to seek internships. What better method to figure out if you intend to be a lawyer as well as seek this occupation than by trailing real ones? Possibly attempt reaching out to local law firms as well as see if you can be a trainee. This could also allow you to develop study hall or find internship chances! Some colleges, such as Harvard, have a program for their own undergraduate pupils who are particular they would certainly such as to go to law school. If you are attending an institution which either has a deferral program or a 3 (years of undergrad) +3( years of law school) program that you want, this summer season might be the moment for you to begin researching for the LSAT. We hope you'll still be as starry eyed about the lawful field when the time comes for you to relate to law school we will certainly still be here to assist you! * We are not recommending you really make an admissions video clip for Harvard. The short response: you ca n't. If you're anythinglike me, you're most likely not satisfied with that said response. I certainly wasn't. I get it. I'm a normally nervous individual so everyday I wasn't doing something efficient throughout my 0L summer season, I was stressing. Audio familiar? I have some excellent information. from Blogger Neinstein Personal Injury Lawyers

[malaika-salaam]

I know my rights...

(soundtrack The BreakUp)

I think she’s an emotional terrorist, a master manipulator. I knew it early on. I got sucked in, despite knowing better. I thought I could and would do something different. I wasn’t going to fix her because she didn’t need to be fixed. I was going to love her where she was. I was going to love, affirm, and support her. In retrospect I have nobody to blame, but myself. I knew. I could have, should have, would have listened but my ego is too big. I saw the signs, I saw the bodies, I saw the carnage of the previous relationships, but I thought I was different. I thought I was special. I thought that I had ascended from apprehensive acquaintance to full family. I was nothing. I am now a body. We ended it amicably. We had conversations. We did proper checkouts. It was over, and we went our separate ways. Slowly others ghosted or faded from the picture as well, new alliances were formed. They did not check out. I think ghosting is just another form of emotional terrorism…

I soldiered on. I was strong. I kept a smile on my face. I didn’t gossip.  I was minimally petty. I didn’t say unkind things. I was the bigger person. I withdrew my support silently. I kept moving forward, but when her name was spoken I had violent reactions. My body would become heavy and my spirit vexed, sometimes to the point of becoming physically ill. The seer told me in a reading many months ago to extract myself, to cut all ties. I should have, could have, would have listened. I kind of listened. I DID NOT listen. I heard what she was doing, I knew what she was doing because people told me and because I looked. We were still “friends” on social media. Periodically, I would torture myself by going to her feeds and forcing a like, reaction, or comment long after she stopped reciprocating. I convinced myself of her generosity, extrapolated from the times that she had done me some kindness. I convinced myself that along a long enough timeline it would all be ok. We would be ok. We would be friends, maybe family again. I am clear now, my own behavior was toxic. I felt like I had to stay connected to control the narrative. I felt like I had to stay connected to control my image. I didn’t want my own judgments about me to be true. Maybe I wasn’t a good friend, sister, person.

It took me months to finally admit how hurt I was. It took me months to finally admit to myself let alone another human how afraid, sad, broken, disappointed, betrayed and angry I felt. I was at the precipice of Angry Black Woman. Not the trope, but the reality of being chronically angry.  I reached out to a long- time friend and asked him, “What is an Angry Black Woman?”  His words resonated with the truth taking up space in my mind, body, and spirit. 

  “A chronically angry, black, woman is one who has been disappointed over and again; not wanting to give up or lower [her] expectations [she] sizzles with discontent.”

I made a choice that day not to jump, not to fall, not to be sucked into to that place. I admitted all my pain, to myself. I acknowledged that I needed time to rest, heal, and recover. I called it going on hiatus.

What dropped into my spirit brought me into alignment with my reality. I needed a sabbatical. I didn’t need to hit pause. This was not an interruption, break, opening. This was a closing. This was an intentional stopping and going inward to access the damage and taking time to rehabilitate. An intentional opportunity to clean, suture, and maybe even cauterize my wounds.

A day later… she texted out of the blue. Fishing for a compliment. She had accomplished a thing. I knew what the thing was before I asked, before she shared. We haven’t spoken in months. She sent a text to make sure I wasn’t swept away in Hurricane Irma, but so did another toxic individual- after all, they are not without their humanity. I did not get drawn in. I did not respond with shade, pettiness, anger, bitterness, or even indifference. I stood in my feelings and responded, “Good for you. I am on Sabbatical. Peace.” And without missing a beat the follow up message, “I’m getting ready to go to [redacted] to [redacted].”  My response, “I’m mentally and spiritually in a place of healing currently and I am not in a space to discuss [redacted]. Good for you and your accomplishments.” Finally, the dry “Thanks” came through. She understood. But just in case she didn’t, I sent “Peace” and then I blocked her from texting/calling me. 

It had been months, maybe a year or more since I found myself to be in a toxic enough space to feel the need to block a real person that I had once had a relationship with. (I do not consider blocking trolls to be the same, that is a necessary health measure I exercise regularly.)

This was reclaiming my time, space, self, wellness, and mental health in real time.  

I very carefully backed out of all spaces we once shared. I had unfollowed months ago.  I had unfriended weeks ago. (Yes, she called after I had unfriended her). Now, was the time for me to make bold moves, execute radical Self Care and Self Love. In this moment, I began to systematically and ritualistically block her on every social media platform that I have. With each restriction I visualized myself, retracting a piece of myself and becoming whole. My whole is now fragmented, and I am actively recovering all the pieces. I will pull those pieces together and bond them and fill in the spaces and gaps until I feel full and restored.

Kintsugi is recognizing the beauty in broken things.

Maybe I will fill in the spaces with gold or glitter. I am clear now about my role in my ongoing psychological and spiritual warfare. I am clear now on how I invited and hosted this drama in my life. I am clear about what I owe myself. I am clear about my rights and responsibilities to myself. Unfollow, unfriend, pause and block are all forms of Self Care that I owe to me. [re]Claiming my self, time, space, mental health, well-being, and spirit are imperative and are acts of Radical Self Love. Because I care for myself I can disengage from toxicity (behavior and relationships) without guilt or shame. I DO NOT have to fix things. I DO NOT have to be the bigger person. Negotiating/engaging with an emotional terrorist DOES NOT make me better, it is unhealthy.

·         I have the right NOT to interact.

·         I have the right to protect my spaces in/on social media.

·         I have a right to deny access.

·         I dictate what is safe and healthy for my overall well-being.

[kendrixtermina]

for the ship thing thoughts on claumitri and ingrid/dorothea?

ingrid/dorothea?

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs - IDK why everyone wants Ingrid to be sapphic when she’s the one (1) character who explicitly says that she’s not sapphic. Or at least, shoots down Dorothea’s flirting in the B support. I think there’s value in having a non traditionally girly character who’s still hetero, many girls who want bfs get told that they will never get one if they don’t act stereotypical and that sucks. Or you could even read her as aspec given that she’s not too interested in pairing up or being attractive, and that the Glenn thing was arranged. She can still admire him and be sad he died without necessarily having the hots for him after all they probably grew up together. Also I don’t really see the particular appeal of those 2 characters together, they don’t have that much in common and Dorothea has a bajillion better options including sapphic ones. 

How long will they last? - As long as it takes Ingrid to say she’s not interested

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - I kind of see why Dorothea might think she’s hot or mistakenly assume she’s into girls as the whole tomboyish look is something ppl sometimes do to communicate that, and she probably finds something relatable about their experiences re: slimy jerks. She does indisputably kick butt and have pretty hair

How was their first kiss? - I’ve had the experience before where the other person gives it a nice, proper try but you can tell they’re not really into it

For the rest of this meme I will not be a spoilsport and entertain the thought/ try to think about what it would be like if they DID get together. It’s certainly inconceivable to read it that way, perhaps Ingrid simply wasn’t ready yet at that time/ or it was an internalized thing.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - I’m certain Dorothea explicitly tried that on screen in the paralogue XD

Who is the best man/men? - Ingrid might try bringing Sylvain, Felix or Dimitri if we’re in a timeline where he lived. 

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Petra or Bernie

Who did the most planning? - Dorothea

Who stressed the most? - Ingrid

How fancy was the ceremony? -Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.  Neither would be much for ostentatiousness but I think Dorothea would want a bit of romantic florish

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Their jerkish ex suitors, even if they are important nobles of [winning faction]

Sex:

Who is on top? -  Definitely Ingrid

Who is the one to instigate things? - Dorothea

How healthy is their sex life? -Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now  

How kinky are they? -Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head  - I can’t see Ingrid being very kinky, but Dorothea might ease her into it. 

How long do they normally last? - a while

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Very much so

How rough are they in bed? -Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. Dorothea really wants to have a relationship so once she gets one she’s gonna want PDA, Ingrid will probably be more stiff and proper - but I can see how a situation where she explores this/eases into it might be interesting to read. It’s not like Ingrid is completely unromantic given all her lofty ideas about honor and how she likes these high fantasy-eque books. It’s somewhere in there

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Would probably not have babies. 

How many children will they adopt? - Dorothea canonically looks after oprphans at least in Silver Snow so now entirely unlikely like two or three

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Ingrid being the responsible one

Who is the stricter parent? - Ingrid

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Ingrid

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Dorothea

Who is the more loved parent? - Dorothea

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Ingrid

Who cried the most at graduation? - Dorothea

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Dorothea

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Ingrid

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Neither

Who does the grocery shopping? - Ingrid. 

How often do they bake desserts? - Often enough. Gotta appreciate how so many people in this game heartily enjoy their nom stuff, even the girls. I think Lorenz is the only one noted as not having much of an appetite. 

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - This is Ingrid we’re talking about. We’re not partying until there’s a roasted stuffed pugket involved

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Hm. On the one hand Dorothea’s the romantic on the other hand Ingrid takes her obligations & loyalty seriously. But I think Dorothea would be the sort to really enjoy being the surprise-ee so let’s say Ingrid

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Dorothea

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Neither. 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both

Who is really against chores? -  Neither. 

Who cleans up after the pets? - Ingrid, mostly cause it’s her pets (Horses & pegasi chiefly)

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Dorothea

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Dorothea

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Ingrid. She has a jar where she collects all the spare change

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Dorothea

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Both, though probably Ingrid more often cause she likes the outdoors

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Dorothea strikes me as the decorating kind so regular

What are their goals for the relationship? - Probably to find their freedom together  and also help the poor. I suppose that is something they might have in common

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Ingrid

Who plays the most pranks? - Dorothea

claumitri

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs - Sure why not?  There’s nothing in particular that makes me think “Wow those would go super well together” but also nothing to the contrary. I’ve seen good fic for it.  I guess they’re just the two dudes who get the most characterization and also sorta get along/interact, so there’s a lot to work with.

How long will they last? - Hm. Dimitri would strike me as someone would like to be serious and longterm about things. They would need to work out the politics first but there’s no reason why they couldn’t last

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - I’d say it wouldn’t take them that long to get started, but somewhat longer to really get to a deep level. Largely because Claude is quick to build surface friendships but slower to really show his real feelings, but also Dimitri wouldn’t necessarily realize that he’s holding something back or press the issue. It helps that they are both just likeable people tho. Dimitri is not going to pass up a chance for a heart-to heart talk. If he got through to that hidden more idealistic side of Claude I think they’d click and get something lasting going. They would definitely always have disagreements about their methods and are fairly different in how they deal with their feelings, but they both have the will to work with ppl with different opinions and build bridges. 

How was their first kiss? - Claude probably quipped something about how it was surprisingly passionate. Dimitri turned into a tomato that same instant. 

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Dimitri

Who is the best man/men? - Dedue and either Nader or Byleth.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Not applicable. But if it were, probably Hilda and Mercedes or Flayn. 

Who did the most planning? - Claude. He likes them feasts. 

Who stressed the most? - Dimitri. Thankfully Claude is chill enough for both of them and knows to distract him

How fancy was the ceremony? -Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.  

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Lorenz’ and Sylvain’s jerk fathers. They might be important nobles but they’re jerks. Edelgard, Arundel and Rufus would already be dead in the AM timeline but if they weren’t they wouldn’t be invited anyways. Claude seems like might actually counteract Dimitri’s tendency to take bad treatment out of politeness. Felix might say that he won’t come but then show up anyways.Or there would be some conspiracy to kidnap him and make sure he comes. Lysithea came up with the plan and recruited Ingrid, Hilda and Sylvain to help her.

Sex:

Who is on top? -  Hm. I could see either doing it. Perhaps Claude would suggest that they switch it up for novelty. But Dimitri is definitely the little spoon, despite his actual size XD

Who is the one to instigate things? - Claude

How healthy is their sex life? -Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now  

How kinky are they? -Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head  -  The discussion would be absolutely hilarious cause Dimitri’s easily embarassed and Claude is a bit of a troll. But he wouldn’t go overboard or make Mitya uncomfortable Claude generally knows when to stop the gremlin act see that one scene with Flayn 

How long do they normally last? - average but it would be pretty intense

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Not necessarily I can get either getting a kick out of just being the one administering the pleasure. 

How rough are they in bed? -Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. - You’ve got one person with super strength and one with super toughness/regeneration. There is potential here. 

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. Methinks Dimitri would be pretty affectionate while Claude’s certainly flirty but the genuinely vulnerable/emotional stuff would have to be in private behind closed doors

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Perhaps Claude found some magic mpreg magic right next to where he got the magic cure for Lysithea…

How many children will they adopt? - No jokes aside Dimitri strikes me as the sort to want kids and also to make a point to choose to adopt. The people of Fodlan better get ready to get some adopted Almyran or Duscurian war orphan as their next king. Dimitri would just proudly stand by his adopted kid and Claude would handle the political fallout. 

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Dimitri

Who is the stricter parent? - Dimitri

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Certainly not Claude

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Dimitri

Who is the more loved parent? -  Both but in different ways. Dimitri is the affectionate parent who comforts the kids when they’re upset, and Claude is the designated fun parent that you can openly talk about everything with. 

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Dimitri

Who cried the most at graduation? - Dimitri cried so much

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Claude

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Claude

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Claude

Who does the grocery shopping? - Claude

How often do they bake desserts? - Probably not that often

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Claude certainly likes a good serving of nom stuff. And Dimitri’s huge, probably needs some fuel to keep functioning

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Claude strikes me as the surprise plans sort

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Claude

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Dimitri

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Not Claude. Dimitri tries but he’s clumsy

Who is really against chores? -  It’d not that Claude’s against it perse he just gets distracted thinking about stiff

Who cleans up after the pets? - Claude

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Claude

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Dimitri

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Dimitri

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Claude

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - They do it together. Both like walking out in nature. 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Dimitri isn’t much for decoration and Claude forgets about the holidays half the time

What are their goals for the relationship? - Just to be happy. Dimitri would want to have some separation between that and the politics - but it’s certainly helpful for the peace between the countries if the Kings are an item and they both care alot about promoting peace perhaps in slightly different but potentially complementary ways. 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Claude

Who plays the most pranks? - Claude

[fellbranded-blog]

slides in with robhen

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! ( I MEAN……………. ) | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs ( Honestly I think Henry cursed beat Chrom out of the ‘favourite Robin ship’ position, bECAUSE… )

How long will they last? - Henry’s insanely loyal and Robin takes his commitments seriously. They’re gonna last a long, long time.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Hmmm. I feel like this one was a semi-slow burn? It took Robin some time to warm up to Henry and his antics (doubly so in the bad future), but once he saw Henry’s sweeter side he fell fast and hard.

How was their first kiss? - Robin was nervous. Very very nervous. But it was very sweet and gentle

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Y’know, I think this was actually Henry! I feel like he’s the more spontaneous and assertive of the two– And there’d be this sense of accomplishment in sweeping the man who’s supposed to always be two steps ahead off his feet? Also his proposals are always super cute and surprisingly romantic and ugh I love him.

Who is the best man/men? - Chrooooooooooom. It’s always Chroooooooom.

Who are the bridesmaid(s) & other groomsmen? - Miriel, Frederick maaaaaaaaybe????, Ricken & Tharja, definitely… 

Who did the most planning? - Robin. He was very thorough in looking up Plegian ceremonies that weren’t overly Grimleal– Especially if one of the Exalted line was to be participating in the wedding party. I mean… They’re both Plegian. Robin might not remember his homeland, but he doesn’t want to ignore his heritage. It was a tough battle, but he just barely squeaked by– And devoted 110% of his energy to getting everything right. In the bad future this was mercifully easier as Robin at least had his memories to work with. If Naeva’s in the picture, he goes to her for help and is considerably less stressed out.

Who stressed the most? - Robin, without a doubt. Poor Henry had to deal with a lot of lowkey panicking and give out reassurance that he’s not messing up royally.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. ( Again, the wartime ceremony was very private and closed to only the Shepherds’ inner circle. The bigger ceremony was still rather intimate given the lack of people, but Robin wanted to make the effort. )

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - It’s not like they’re in contact with them anyways, but if they were… Henry’s parents. Oh so much.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Usually, Henry. Robin’s more submissive, so he tends to go along with what his beloved wants.

Who is the one to instigate things? - 

How healthy is their sex life? - It varies– Usually Henry, though.Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now ( I don’t see them as a super sex inclined couple tbh? Like, once in a while, sure… Maybe the occasional spontaneous thing in the spur of the moment but. Y’know. Just. Not high on their to-do list. … I’m not sorry for that pun. )

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? -

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? -

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. ( Henry’s yet another person Robin really doesn’t like being rough with– And honestly despite his morbid tendencies and penchant for bloodshed I don’t… See Henry being into anything too rough either? Of course as far as Robin is concerned whatever Henry wants, Henry gets, soooo. )

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. ( However, Robin’s very cuddly. )

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - At least three! Corbett and the Morgan twins– Maybe a few of the other army of fankids we came up with. ( Friendly reminder that Vlad’s Henry is trans, therefore… )

How many children will they adopt? - Maybe one or two, should they ever decide to. Though I feel like most adoptions come in the form of Henry bringing stray animals home and Robin not having the heart to say no. 

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Probably Henry, if only because between wartimes Robin actually takes up a job in the village they move to as a carpenter! Robin helps as much as he can, though.

Who is the stricter parent? - Hmmmm. Neither are particularly strict, which makes it a blessing that Corbett is super well behaved– That said, Robin’s probably the one who has an easier time putting his foot down if he needs to.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - …Robin, probably.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Henry, I think!

Who is the more loved parent? - Unfortunately as far as the kids from the future are concerned, this is skewed pretty heavily in Robin’s favour. Corbett bears a grudge against Henry, and the twins remember Robin better. The current timeline’s kids see it more evenly once they’re born!

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Henry. And he has a tendency to get lowkey threatening with teachers his kids tend to have issues with– Robin lowkey tries to start going himself after a while.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Robin, definitely Robin.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - I think this one would be Henry.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Hmmmmm… Robin, I think?

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - I don’t see either of them as overly fussy, but if I had to pick it’d be Henry!

Who does the grocery shopping? - Robin. I feel like Henry would get a little distracted in market places…

How often do they bake desserts? - Stares at Robin’s sweet tooth…………..

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? -

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Henry’s more spontaneous, so I do feel like he’d make an effort to surprise and spoil Robin on their anniversaries!

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Probably Robin.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - …Robin. Robin, please. (Henry’s not much better. He laughs about the entire ordeal as he helps clean it up– Probably crows about how great the flames were.)

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both, but somehow Robin keeps finding weird magical artifacts Henry uses in his magic in the most unlikely places…

Who is really against chores? - Neither? They’re both good with housework!

Who cleans up after the pets? - Robin tries to maintain that Henry has to clean up after his horde of strays, but usually caves and it becomes a family effort.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - …I feel like this one’s Henry, but it could potentially go either way.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - In the bad future, this was definitely Robin-.He wasn’t a huge huge fan of company, in the event that someone would catch a glimpse of the fell brand– And that’s exactly what ended up happening.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Henry! I imagine he was pretty pleased by it.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - I think this would be Robin. Magic school probably was really strict with its washing times, and it miiiight have had an effect on Henry. 

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - I feel like Henry would gravitate to doing it more, but they’d try to share!

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - OH MAN DECORATING IS ALWAYS A BLAST WHEN IT COMES TO THESE TWO. THEY HAVE THE B E S T DECORATIONS.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Honestly? Be happy. Love each other. Be each other’s strength and support. Grow old together.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Henry, especially if he was busy with his research and magic.

Who plays the most pranks? - Henry, again! I feel like they’d be surprisingly lighthearted for someone like him.

[allthatwehear]

backpacking with a good gang.

I wish I was still there.

laying in the dark, envisioning there are a lot of stars above us, having difficulty getting any kind of sleep, feeling the hard pressure on my hips and some limbs falling asleep. other mornings, my morning fingers claw through my tightly zipped sleeping bag-head claustrophobically in the mornings, and I’m freaking out to get out, feel the cold air rush in all the sudden. I wish I was still fixing the beanie on my head, where it was probably covering my eyebrows, and peering sleepily over to my right to see Jon adjusting his shoes or something. he gave me an alert and attune “hi”, to which I croakily replied “hi” back, surprised that he would so chipperly goodmorning-me. I wish I was still nestling into my sleeping bag with the tent wide open, our little stove working desperately to warm our dinner-water, and laying on my back to stare at the clouds, Susy following suit. we laughed, probably too hard, at the shapes in the clouds we saw. Susy was very detailed and into the game. eventually I think we peaked Jon’s curiousity and he joined us, squeezing beside me. in another half hour, hour or so, all three of us are drifting to sleep - after climbing Big Jim mountain, a biggie, that day. I could feel the weight of Jon’s sides on me; we really were squished. soon he was heavily breathing. I never slept (do I ever?), but I was in that in-between state for awhile. I loved those simpler times: we were staring at clouds, playing games. just, staring at clouds. I don’t exactly know what happened on this trip. I wonder if Jon felt it too. some sort of strange connection, or perhaps his personality was like that of John Goodhew and frankly you couldn’t tell how he felt for someone in one moment or the next. but I wasn’t expecting him to be so attentive, or friendly, and talk and laugh at practically everything I said, so much. I didn’t picture myself wanting to get so close, and sort of be in his company. what do you do when you’re literally trying to get on your potential new-roommate’s good side, but you end up significantly bonding with their boyfriend, instead?? I hit my forehead just thinking about it; I met this (MUCH quieter), calm surfer guy sometime last winter, not yet dating Kysa, and I had no clue we would sing all the same songs, or he would finish the songs I started, or laugh at the phrases I made, or joke with me incessantly, or help me get over a fear of heights and concur a mountain, or let me wear his shoes, or take two giant bites of my ice cream.have him explain the different kinds of beers to me and agree that he liked the same kind; I didn’t imagine that at some points, I would start to lay in my sleeping bag and question Kysa and Jon’s relationship, who everybody and their mother shipped, knew of, glorified, supported, etc., and here I was, wondering if they were even good for each other, wondering if Kysa hated me because she seemed so aloof all the time, wondering if she was insecure or jealous, wondering if I would be a better fit for Jon then for her. What kind of hellish person am I? To be having some thoughts? And yet.. did Jon wonder the same? Does he think they he and Kysa are going to get married in a year, just as Kysa claimed in our housemate-zoom, to which we all squealed and gushed for her (as expected of us women when anyone says their relationship is going well.. right?). I mean, she wouldn’t tell us that without having that conversation with Jon first, right? Something just clicked on this trip, and I loved the way he laughed at me when I said stupid things. I loved how he made me feel witty, and joined in on my incessant song-singing, and laughed at my appropriate song-choices, and asked me a lot of questions about homeschooling and was so camaraderie with me. maybe this is just how he is. I’d heard, I guess, that he supposedly has some close friendships with girls? but has that changed, with how much time he has spent with Kysa...? I mean, they, according to her, had been spending nearly every day, weeks at a time alternating houses, with each other? Their love is obviously so sweet & so strong...? And yet...? Why did it feel like some sort of special attention; was he just trying to get to know me? Was Jon always the one who pushed Kysa to consider living with me? I couldn’t freaking tell: maybe it was Jon all along, and Kysa, considering her absolute infatuation for him, was sort of following what he said. These are all places my mind went. Stupid, most likely jealous, most likely imaginative and presumptuous places, maybe as a way to fantasize something I wish were true. Perhaps this is all to say that I pray that God gives me someone like Jon. Maybe this is all to say that God gave me a taste of what it feels like to be tickled by and laughed at, and how good that felt to me. To set an alarm at 2AM because I wanted to see the stars as badly as he did; he croaked “sarah”, then pause, and I said “yeah”, then, “do you want to see them?”, another pause, “yeah”, and he crept out, waking Susy and Kysa. I dont know, there was just this bond, and I am frustrated because I want to be his friend but I don’t want to develop stronger feelings because that is just wildly inappropriate and I don’t even know if Kysa likes me and maybe what her aloofness is is slight threaten by me like I don’t even freaking know, you know???? Perhaps there is a reason why Kysa mostly has friends who are couples: there is no threat there, when they each already have somebody they love. I heard her say on the hikes that sometimes she feels a pressure to follow the status-quo of marriage, that whole timeline, and I wondered if that was what she was trying so hard to follow with Jon, and I wondered if she recognized that she was sort of doing what she just admitted she was afraid to have pressure on herself about. 

But I liked Jon because he was spunky and intuitive and smart; he loved the mountains and he looked good in beanies and he’d talk in a lot of funny voices like me. He was really outgoing and liked to talk with people while we gasped for breath climbing up switchbacks. He was friendly and good at conversation. He also noticed things and he noticed you and would pipe up or have an answer for your question: you never felt judged or too silly, even. He was curious, too, and he was lively and obviously liked the big adventure stuff. He plays the banjo (lol) and he listens to bluegrass. Did he feel what I felt? Did I offend him by not giving him a hug after our adventures together? Did Kysa and him feel anything weird? What on earth is next year going to look like? 

Will God drop a cute country, mountain man in my lap who will finish the songs I sing, laugh at the ones that pop into my head, encourage me to climb mountains and push past my demons, tell me I’m brave for writing about my story, hold my grief in his hands and say we’ll get through it together? Will he give me a future that looks as beautiful (both physically) and seamless (easy, expected) as Kysa & Jon’s, as Annaliese and Austin’s? Will they be deep and soulful, and talk to me in our sleeping bags when I can’t fall asleep, and listen to me discuss all the issues of my family and not run away or hide from those topics? Will God give me a man who I don’t have to worry thinks or wrestles about porn because he’s done with it; who loves nature and will take me out in it, into the waves and on long trips with mexican blankets wrinkled in the trunk? Will we drink hot cocoa/coffee at 6am when the sun wakes us, and talk about the log cabins we hope to live in one day? See with Jon I didn’t realize a person like that was real. But he is; they are: I stared them in the face and watched the dream-husband, dream-man blosom in front of me. I realized backpacking, with Maurice the goat and two days of no sleep and cold noses in the morning and bleary-star-gazing a glimpse of the kind of man I hope God gives me. I hope he listens to folk, mandolin music and sings it to me, I hope he makes me sing with him, I hope we wear big fuzzy pullovers and read books or poetry. I hope he indulges in the simple and likes to talk about anything and everything. I hope he will tell me how beautiful he thinks I am. I hope we will raise kids who are true and honest, and free to express their feelings. I hope he is sensitive and likes to talk about his feelings. I hope he has somewhat of a past so I don’t feel so alone in my terribly broken one, and we can help with the gapes and mend with each other’s independent stitching materials. I hope he has shaggy hair that I can ruffle inbetween my fingers. I hope that he has kind of hairy arms. I hope that he is not perfect and thinks thoughtfully on his mistakes, because he feels regret and doesn’t want to make them again. I hope he will teach me to hold on and to love myself, too, and that I am worthy & a really cool person. I hope he has a soft smile or a twinkle in his eye. I hope when we’re old, he’ll still sing me the songs he did when we were kids and young and healthy and crazy, climbing physical mountains together. I hope he’ll grab my hands and slow-dance with me, like we will at our wedding. I hope he likes Ray LaMontagne and scratchy-voiced singers. 

God please grant me this man. Please grant me a gentle loving, soft, serene, pretty, feeling, tender man. Please let him be my bestfriend before my boyfriend. Please let him be real. Please let this happen. Please let me have that happy ever after ending, too -- let it not just be a reality for the “perfect” folks. Please, please let it be a reality for the broken, “imperfect” ones, too. 

[combackrunner-blog]

If the going is getting tough - you’re not reading this enough *Note to self 😉

Dear Younger Me: Lauren Fleshman (Self)

May 17, 2017

I have so many things I want to tell you, but I'm going to start with the most urgent. Because of all the ways I've seen athletic stories unfold over the years, this is the No. 1 destroyer of dreams. You're a young woman, but the sound of the word "woman" makes you cringe. Well-meaning coaches and parents and aunties and grannies and inappropriate uncles comment on the changing bodies of girls--not yours yet but those around you. It's coming. You know it's coming. You notice what happens sometimes to female athletes. She hits puberty; her times get slower or plateau. She is confused; she is working harder than ever. Clueless adults who are overly invested in her "performance" will grieve, as if her worth is based solely on PRs. This makes you scared of growing up. Seeing girls go through this is confusing because there is a story once told to you about running: "You get out what you put in." You've heard there is a direct line between effort and improvement, between wanting it more and winning. This is a "truth" written by men, based on the experience of boys and men. Your male teammates are bathing in testosterone, a dramatic performance enhancer. You will not. You are about to bathe in different hormones, hormones that, more often than not, temporarily interrupt that promised straight line of improvement. What you need are knowledgeable coaches and parents who know how to support you during this time, to let you know it is normal, to celebrate you through development, who can zoom out on the big picture, because it is at this time that many girls give up. You'll see girls react to a changing body in three ways: give up, ride it out, or fight against it. With 100 percent confidence, I can tell you the best choice is to ride it out. The best is yet to come. You will go on to race at a NCAA Division I university and watch several girls do whatever it takes to fight their changing bodies. But before you choose a school, you will go on visits. You will have meals with the teams and notice they do things differently. There is the school that has "salad with dressing on the side," the school where everyone orders "no gluten and no dairy," the school where the girls bring their own food from home to the restaurant... Go to the school where people order a variety of things: the burger, the chicken sandwich, the salad. Go to the school where you can order french fries and do it without shame. Go to the school where the majority of girls look athletic and healthy, with hydrated muscles, and get their periods. Listen to how they talk about themselves--and one another. Listen to what they value. Do they value effort or performance? What do they worry about openly? Fixations on their appearance? Or do they lift one another up to be good teammates and performers? Do they value themselves and one another by time and place and weight? Or by the whole package of who they are as people? How do they treat the teammates who are struggling physically or mentally or psychologically? Do they isolate them? Talk behind their backs? Do they have empathy and compassion? Do they call one another up? Like it or not Lauren, you are a woman. A strong one. Your body is at some point going to become what it is meant to be, based on a long line of strong women who have survived generations in a tough world. For most of the time, and in most cultures, what is happening to your body would be celebrated with ceremony. Women are powerful beyond your imagination. You cannot reach your power by making yourself small. And yet in competitive running, you will find yourself in a world in which you feel pressure to do just that. Let me speak to the competitive dream chaser in you now. You can be fast and a developed woman. In fact, you can only reach your ultimate potential if you let your body go through its changes. If you get to the dips and valleys and fight your body, starve your body, attempt to outsmart it, you will suffer. You will lose your period. You will get faster at first. And then you will get injured. And injured. And injured. Depending on the methods you used to fight your body, you may end up destroying your relationship with food and sport for years to come. You won't go this far, but you'll see so many of your friends and teammates do this. In your age group, the mortality rate from anorexia is 12 times higher than any other cause of death. You will see some come close. You will see this so much, fed by reckless coaches, fed by unhealthy team culture, fed by the desire for short-term success, that it will break your heart. It will break your heart so much that it will be difficult for you to watch many of the top high school and college races after you graduate. So many young athletes will reach out to you for help. You will learn how destructive and reckless so many coaches are, and you will want to find a way to change things. I need you to know, I PROMISE you, that the ultimate star you are chasing is further ahead than any shiny thing you see now. The way you get there is to protect your health and protect your love of the sport above all, even as you reach for the shiny goals right in front of you. You simply do not know and cannot predict your personal path, but you'll get there. It will look different and brighter and richer and more multi-faceted the closer you get. I need you to know, you have always been more than a runner, more than your times, more than your state championships, more than your school records. But you will get confused. You will forget. Luckily you will have teammates and family and friends who remind you. You will go on to do almost every single thing you could have dreamed of, not in the way you imagined, not on the timeline you imagined. And when you retire from being a pro runner after 12 years, you will be surprised at what ends up being most valuable to you. Your medals will be in a box somewhere, and you'll never look at them. Your proudest accomplishment will be a race in which you finished last because in that race you were tested more than ever and you were brave. Finishing seventh in the entire world in the 5K and having a bronze medal in cross country brings you a smile, the same smile as winning league with your team as a freshman in high school, the same smile as breaking 5:00 in the mile for the first time. The real life-changers, the memories that make the peach fuzz on your cheeks and the hairs on your forearms stand up, those will be braiding your teammates hair in the 15-passenger van on the way to a race; a random tempo run along a sidewalk past a gas station where you felt like you were flying while home on Christmas break; descending a forest trail at camp behind your best friend with your arms outstretched in flight; running at night with someone you are falling in love with; pushing your baby in a running stroller for the first time; passing under a canopy of trees temporarily blocking the rain on a cross country course you can't remember the name of, the sound of your feet squelching in the mud while chasing your rival. Protect the opportunity to make memories like those for a lifetime. You're going to be OK being all of yourself. Make sure your teammates know it too.

Love, Lauren (self)

[trendingnewsb]

How to Stay Together When You Are Different From Each Other

The strongest relationships are the ones in which both partners can be themselves. Intending to change the other person or dramatically changing yourself to fit someone else’s ideals dooms couples to failure.

When two people have beliefs or habits that differ too much, it creates friction. For example, if one partner is devoutly religious and the other is an all-out atheist, it might be difficult for the couple to find common ground on the way that the universe functions. When a neat-freak has to put up with the habits of a slob, there will be arguments. Opposites may attract, but they don’t always have staying power.

Having two people from completely different worlds can be problematic, but even couples who have a lot in common need to make trade offs sometimes. It’s not as though two partners need to be exactly alike, after all. Any healthy relationship involves compromise.

Unresolved small differences can cause huge problems.

Our partners are not our clones. If you stay with anyone long enough, you’re going to have disagreements. You can compromise to work through some conflicts, but when the problem illuminates a difference in core values, the dispute becomes personal. Couples may criticize or blame one another for not thinking or behaving in the same way.

If two individuals’ core values are completely misaligned, communication will be nearly impossible. Both may try to constantly prove themselves right and conflicts will be common. Values and beliefs are one’s preference. It’s difficult to change one’s core values because there’s no right or wrong in terms of core values. Of course, not every core value needs to overlap, but there needs to be some, and it needs to be shared. You can read more about the importance of shared values in my other article Why A Shared Life Is Not Enough to Maintain A Relationship

Small disagreements can also highlight breakdowns in communication. I had two friends who attended marriage counseling. One of the major gripes in their marriage was over the dishes. The wife hated having dishes in the sink. Her husband didn’t mind them, and he often told her that he would do the dishes. She became frustrated when he wasn’t operating on her timeline, and she’d do them anyway. She thought he was being spiteful, but he was really just lackadaisical about the chore.

She viewed his nonchalant attitude about the dishes as a personal attack. If they hadn’t gone to counseling, that small breach in communication would have continued to create tension.

When a couple has a disagreement, it is important to have time to communicate about it. In some cases, compromise is not possible. In other cases, the argument was based on a flawed understanding of the situation. Either way, these problems will worsen the relationship if they aren’t addressed.

Most people tackle differences in a way that makes their love lives worse.

People handle differences between each other in plenty of ways. Yet they don’t realize the way they try to tackle differences is worsening their relationship and their love lives.

Some are unwilling to give anything up.

Some people think that if you have to compromise, then the couple is a poor match. They may unconsciously demand that the other person fulfill requirements by asking them to do a certain thing like initiating a dating idea every time.

If the partner can never meet the lofty standards put in place by their significant other, they’ll become exhausted, frustrated, and sad. The significant other who has placed the demands will be constantly disappointed by their partner’s inability to meet their expectations.

Imagine what could happen if one member of a couple places a high value on fashion while the other one can barely match their socks. They might have disagreements about going out. The fashion forward partner may decide that their less-stylish partner needs to improve their style because it’s embarrassing to go out with someone who looks sloppy.

Instead of compromising by choosing less-formal outings or trying to help the less-stylish partner, the fashionable partner mistakes this lack of style for a lack of care about their relationship. The less-stylish partner, however, feels like it’s impossible to look like a a magazine photo. These two will have a hard time making their relationship work.

Some compromise more than their partner does.

When people start a relationship, they may be willing to make some sacrifices because they genuinely like the other person and want to be liked.[1] One person may attempt to minimize difference with his or her partner by giving up their own interests.

There is some compromise in this, but because one person gives up more than the other, the relationship is out of balance. Eventually, the person who gives up too much will be exhausted and unhappy.

I had a friend who was newly in love and made a lot of sacrifices to be with her boyfriend. She loved all types of music, and her boyfriend was a musician. The only problem was, he was very opinionated about the bands that he liked. When she talked about a band that he didn’t like, he would pick on her. Instead of standing up for herself, her response was simply to smile, nod, and never talk about how she felt about bands that she knew he disapproved of.

Choice in music may seem like a minor thing, but in a relationship that centered around music, this was a huge sacrifice for my friend to make. The boyfriend didn’t have to give up anything that he enjoyed in this exchange. Needless to say, they didn’t work out.

Some sacrifice way more than they should.

Compromising on core values and beliefs is another recipe for frustration and exhaustion. You can give up small things in the name of love, but if your core values are at stake, this might be a bad match.[2]

You’ll see this behavior when one person thinks that they need to change themselves in order to live up to the other person’s standards. In this case, one or both parties may have the mistaken belief that there should be no differences between them. Making a partner happy at the expense of one’s own happiness only worsens the relationship. In the end, at least one partner is not able to do the things that they value the most. Read more here about How “Love Is All About Sacrifice” Ruins Our Love Lives

Compromise only when it makes both happier and better.

There’s no such thing as a universal style of compromise because every couple is different. At the same time, successful compromises do share some common characteristics.

Talk about expectations and negotiate up.

Bad habits and things that have become normalized in a relationship can be challenging to address. It’s tough to know when to let it go and when to speak up. Discuss expectations, boundaries, and ways that you can support one another so that the compromise doesn’t feel like a personal attack.

It is possible to create a win-win situation from a disagreement. Work together so that you are both gaining something you want. Making a change doesn’t seem as daunting if you don’t feel like you’re losing out.

Both partners should give something up.

When a couple is working well together, each partner may have to adjust something that they do so that it fits with their partner’s lifestyle. Instead of having one person sacrifice everything, each person gives a little to create harmony.[3] If you ask your partner to make a change, be ready to make some changes for yourself.

But making adjustments doesn’t have to feel like a sacrifice. When partners ask for an appropriate amount of change, neither feels like the shift creates a major imposition. Both are still willing to make changes to strengthen their partnership.

Be aware that core values can’t be negotiated.

Having a respectful disagreement is healthy, but expecting someone to alter their beliefs to stay together is not. These things are difficult to change because they make people who they are. Partners can learn to respect and accept differences, but they can’t force change.

Let differences pull you closer to your partner.

It’s nearly impossible to find two people who do everything in exactly the same way. Being somewhat different from your partner can make your relationship more fun and exciting. You might get the chance to look at things in a new way, or experience things you wouldn’t have tried on your own.

Compromise is a natural part of putting two distinct human beings together. It can be a celebration of our uniqueness. As long as both partners are willing to make adjustments or give things up for the sake of a better relationship, then the process of negotiation will only make you stronger.

You don’t have to give up who you are to be in a relationship, but you can work with your partner to bring out the best in one another.

Featured photo credit: Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash via unsplash.com

Reference

[1]^Psychology Today: How much should you compromise for your relationship?[2]^Bustle: 7 Things You Should Never Compromise on in a Relationship[3]^My Body + Soul: The 5 Rules of Fair Compromise

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from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2g2sCej via Viral News HQ

[gossipnetwork-blog]

A Timeline of Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall's Never-Ending Sex and the City Feud

New Post has been published on http://gossip.network/a-timeline-of-sarah-jessica-parker-and-kim-cattralls-never-ending-sex-and-the-city-feud/

A Timeline of Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall's Never-Ending Sex and the City Feud

We couldn’t help but wonder…will Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall‘s “feud” ever really go away?

While the Sex and the City co-stars have spent more time denying rumors of any animosity than actually playing Carrie Bradshaw and Samantha Jones in the last decade, there’s no denying there’s definitely some bad blood between them after plans for a third Sex and the City film fell through.

Sure, the media does have a tendency to pit women starring on TV shows against each other (see: SATC, Gossip Girl, The Good Wife, etc.) but where there’s smoke there’s a fire. Sometimes, co-workers just don’t get along (like the person in E! News’ offices who likes to heat up fish in the kitchen for lunch every day. Ahem.)

But with this latest installment in SJP and Cattrall’s “feud,” we decided to take a stroll down memory lane to see all the times they’ve addressed the headlines since SATC debuted in 1998. Grab your rental…

December 2004: While there were always rumors of cat fights quietly plaguing the set of Sex and the City throughout its six-season run, things came to light in 2004 as the show was ending after Cattrall told British talk show host Jonathan Ross that she had demanded more money.

“I felt after six years it was time for all of us to participate in the financial windfall of Sex and The City,” she said on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross, adding she asked to be paid $1 million per episode (up from a reported $350,000) if the show were to continue. “When they didn’t seem keen on that I thought it was time to move on.”

Parker was paid more as she was an executive producer on the series (and later the movies).

May 2008: Four years later, fans were delighted when SATC returned, bringing the ladies to the big screen. But the movie, which was originally supposed to start filming right after the series wrapped, was delayed due to ongoing salary negotiations.

And Parker addressed the money talk and defended Cattrall when The Telegraph visited the set of the first movie.

“She mentioned money and no one should vilify her for it,” she said. “People made a decision that we had vilified her. No one bothered to say [to the rest of us], “Are you disappointed by not making the movie?’ Yes. “Do you respect and support her choice to not do it?” Absolutely.'”

In Marie Claire’s cover story ahead of the film’s premiere date, former HBO CEO Chris Albrecht weighed in on the salary disputes. “When you’re keeping people for years, you have to continue to pay them more money,” he said. “Sarah was becoming more and more famous, and her salary increased beyond what was contractually committed, which is normal for hit shows. The other actresses wanted to keep up.”

December 2009: In a show of support, Cattrall and Nixon attend the NYC premiere of Parker’s new movie, Did You Hear About the Morgans?

In the same month, Parker was on the cover of Elle, and once again talks about Cattrall and the alleged salary disputes that delayed the first movie. “I don’t think anybody wants to believe that I love Kim,” Parker told the mag. “I adore her. I wouldn’t have done the movie without her. Didn’t and wouldn’t.”

In the article, Cattrall compliments Parker, saying, “She shines and she allows you to shine as well.”

January 2010: In an in-depth interview with The Daily Mail, Cattrall expressed her exasperation over the never-ending feud rumors.

“People don’t want to believe that we get on. They have too much invested in the idea of two strong, successful women fighting with each other. It makes for juicy gossip and cop,” she said. “The truth of us being friends and getting along and happily doing our jobs together is nowhere near as newsworthy. I think Sarah is fantastic. She is a born leader and she guides the crew and the cast in such a strong but gentle way. She and I are sick of this. It’s exhausting talking about it, and a real bore. Next?”

May 2010: The four ladies once again posed for Marie Claire ahead of the second film’s premiere, and once again, they addressed the feud rumors. 

Parker admitted that sometimes “feelings get hurt” due to how much time they spend filming.

“You’re on set, you’re working 90-hour weeks, you’re never home, you’re exhausted,” she said. “There are times when all of us have been sensitive and sometimes feelings get hurt. But I don’t have any regrets about how I’ve treated people.”

Cattrall also spoke to the “stressful” says on set, telling the mag, ‘Nineteen-hour workdays are stressful, whether you’re driving a truck, working in a coal mine or on a set and trying to be your brightest at 4 o’clock in the morning. But there’s a camaraderie that happened through all of that..the chemistry among the four of us is very strong.”

She then said, “Because the press has to put women in these boxes, rather than show them as the movie portrays them: working together and being powerful. Things just have to be explosive for no other reason than for people’s imaginations.”

Cynthia Nixon also weighed in, adding, “It hasn’t always been smooth sailing. But the idea that we’re somehow adversarial is ludicrous.”

August 2016: Parker takes to Instagram to post a message to Cattrall on her 60th birthday. “Sending love and the very best for a perfectly marvelous, joyous, healthy and adventure filled birthday year,” she captioned the pic. “Your ol’ pal, fellow mischief maker and ‘sister’, Sj xxx.” 

September 2016: The next month, SJP talked to Time about the response her birthday post received from fans and the media. 

“I posted something on Kim’s birthday and people were like, ‘Oh my God, I didn’t know you liked her!'” she said. “What? We were all at liberty to walk away at any time! But nobody asked those questions of shows with men. Isn’t that interesting?”

October 2016: Parker is asked about the feud rumors when she goes on Howard Stern‘s radio show, and brought up society’s tendency to pit women against one another.

“It used to really confound me and really upset me because we were part of a family of sopranos and no one ever questioned the relationships of the men on that show and no one ever said to them, ‘Did you hang out this weekend with each other? Did you give each other Christmas presents?'” she said. “These were my sisters, these were people that I grew to love and admire.”

She continued, “Was every day perfect? Were people always desperately, hopefully in love with each other? No, but this is a family of people who needed each other, relied upon each other and loved each other. This sort of narrative, this ongoing catfight, it really upset me for a very long time.”

Ron Galella, Ltd./WireImage

September 2017: SJP confirmed that a third Sex and the City movie was this close to happening before. “It’s over…we’re not doing it,” she told Extra. “I’m disappointed. We had this beautiful, funny, heartbreaking, joyful, very relatable script and story. It’s not just disappointing that we don’t get to tell the story and have that experience, but more so for that audience that has been so vocal in wanting another movie.”

Wille Garson, who played Carrie’s BFF Stan, cryptically tweeted, “Disappointed for all crew holding on for negotiations to conclude for their jobs, and of course, for the fans. Leave it at that. #Truth.”

Reports then cited Cattrall has the lone hold-out, something she was quick to deny on Twitter, shooting down rumors of her alleged demands. “Woke 2 a @MailOnline [poop emoji] storm! The only ‘DEMAND’ I ever made was that I didn’t want to do a 3rd film….& that was back in 2016.”

October 2017: But Cattrall wasn’t done talking, going on to tell Piers Morgan during an appearance on his ITV show, Life Stories, that Parker “could have been nicer” about the demise of SATC 3.

“And now, now at this very moment it’s quite extraordinary to get any kind of negative press about something that I’ve been saying for almost a year of ‘no’ that I’m demanding or a diva,” Cattrall said, according to The Daily Mail. “And this is really where I take to task the people from Sex and the City and specifically Sarah Jessica Parker in that I think she could have been nicer. I really think she could have been nicer. I don’t know what her issue is, I never have.”

What do you think of SJP and Cattrall’s comments over the years? Did you want a third SATC movie? Tweet your thoughts at @tbrick2 and @eonlineTV.

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