#in that it explains why i haven't written as much this weekend lol

[sailingshellsgames]

Well, that was really not how I thought this weekend would go 😅

I think I’m going to make this update in bullet-point story form, so I can have a laugh about it at least.

How this weekend went:

Oh, the redirect from my old tumblr url to the new one doesn’t work on mobile. Let me turn off the default setting so it’ll work.

Clicks button.

Immediately the screen refreshes, signs me out and shows me the tumblr homepage.

Huh, that’s weird, let me log back in. Wait... why is nothing happening when I log in?

Search for my tumblr’s home page, find nothing.

Oh. It’s gone. Uh, okay, um, don’t panic. It’s just over a year of work gone (at this point I’m sure you can imagine how I’m feeling 😂).

Frantically email support, search for other account recovery methods, find a page on reddit that seems like it could help. Update the Hosted Forum post because idk if the tumblr is gone forever and that’s the only other place people can reach me. Create reddit account, accidentally get the account banned as a robot because I don’t have enough of something called karma and edited my post too much, probably. Create a new account, trade karma with kind strangers on a separate subreddit. Post again to the “help my tumblr was deactivated” subreddit. Realize not for the first time that I don’t know how reddit works. Distract myself by hanging out with a friend because there’s nothing else to do but wait and hope.

And finally, the person who runs the tumblr support of that reddit page commented on my post that my account was reactivated. I’m impressed with their response time - I didn’t expect them to be working weekends so I’m grateful for that. So yeah, that’s been the past couple days 😂 All’s well that ends well and I’m proud of myself for not freaking out too much but dang. That was a lot lol.

[danketsuround]

sunday six!

typical monday six for me cause i forgot yesterday was sunday lol i was tagged by @four-white-trees and @overdevelopedglasses woo! thank you! i will tag everyone else i usually tag @c-cw-f-saeko @fire-tempers-steel @futilecombat @passthroughtime (think that's everyone? lmk if u want to be tagged/untagged) (share if you want don't if you don't as usual HI)

sharing something different cause i wasn't feeling well this weekend and i have this written already. little extra thing from two birds that expands on the letters kuwana and reiko wrote to each other. kind of long but i don't like it enough to post so just take the whole thing gosh!

To Kusumoto-san,

How are you? I'm sorry I haven't written yet. I just figured out how this works in the midst of moving around. Ehime is a nice place. Far, temperate. The people in Masaki are a little too friendly. Not sure I could say the same about Matsuyama, though, I guess that's the city to a stranger. It seems silly to say, but I hope you're making some friends, if you can.

When we first drove in, a seagull shat on my car. Right on the windshield! I almost killed us both. I know you just jumped at the thought, but we're really okay. Mitsuru made fun at me for getting so startled. He's a good kid. He's a lot like you and nothing like me. Thank God. Despite our differences I think we're getting along.

We came to Matsuyama for a bit. We wanted to pop in and see you but they told us it doesn't work that way. That day it really hit that you were in prison, and not just away on a terrible vacation. I guess I'll never get over missing you. It really upset Mitsuru, so I took him to do tourist stuff instead. It was nice because a lot of people visit those areas, so the wheelchair wasn't really a problem like it is on these gravely rural roads. We met the mascot, Mikyan, and took a picture with him. I'm sure it fell out when you tore open this envelope. Did you know Ehime is famous for its mandarins? They really won't let you forget it! The photo was just going to be of Mitsuru, but this lady behind me said she could take a photo of the both of us, and I got too shy to say no. I'd never do that! Maybe I'm a changed man after all. Anyways, you have the both of us now—though it wasn't like you didn't before.

Mitsuru gave me a haircut. I look ridiculous. You can see it in the photo, right? I would have done a better job blindfolded, but he seemed proud of it, so I kept it. His hair looks pretty choppy now, but not out of revenge. I just suck at cutting hair. Did I tell you that he's trying to get his high school diploma? What a dedicated young man you've raised. I technically still have my teaching license, so I've been helping. Feels good. It's weird. Whenever I help him, I remember why I became a teacher in the first place. Ironic, isn't it? I want to tell you everything but I'll save it for the next time we see you. I'm sorry for cutting it so short, but I have a favor to ask you.

The nurses in Ijincho explained a bunch of stuff to me about Mitsuru's condition and printed it out. It's expectedly massive. Sorry to be a pain, but would you mind taking a look at it and tell me what to do? Advice? I can't make sense of it all. Or maybe I refuse to believe it. Is he really hurt so badly? What does he think of all this? I wonder about it. I wonder about it a lot. He seems fine, but then I look at all his X-rays and blood tests and I don't know what to think. How do I get him too eat? To grab things? To smile? I'm taking it one step at a time, but these technical terms are a big hurdle. You can read it, right? You've always been so much smarter than me. I'm sorry again. I'm lost. Thank you. I'm running out of room. They've got a limit on paper for prison letters. Seems strict.

Mitsuru wanted to say:

M iSsyou Mo M

- Mi Tsu ru

He's got a damn strong grip on his pencil. You'd be proud.

Until then,

Yu

Kitakata,

It's good to finally hear from you. I'm doing as well as I can. You seem to be the same. I checked a map of Masaki to try and place you two. It seems like a nice town. Are you getting used to the short buildings and the little beach?

I've been friendly with some of the other inmates, and the seagulls here do the same, but I've been safer than you.

I got your picture. How cute. Your haircut isn't so bad, he did a good job.

I looked at the documents. I know what you mean. I expect you already know to use the feeding tube and how to bathe him. It's not surprising he did not respond well to the catheter. I wouldn't either.

Firstly, Mitsuru has anterograde amnesia. That means he has a very difficult time forming short term memory, even if his long term memory is intact. Remember when you told me he didn't know your name, even though you told him earlier? That's why. I'm not sure why he doesn't remember your face from before. I suppose that's a fortunate mystery. You may have noticed the nurses doing this, but if you tell him the same things over and over again, he'll have an easier time forming new memories. He knows what to call you now because you said it so many times. I'm sure he knows I'm in prison because the nurses told him many times, too. That's what I get.

I'm sure you're well aware of his mental health. He seems to go up and down a lot, I bet. Like his body, his brain is suck at seventeen. Doesn't he seem so... frozen in time to you? He's like an old doll, destined to be a kid forever. I'd be jealous if that was the end of it. The nurses observed that he sometimes behaves like a much younger child. Have you seen him suck his thumb? Does he tug at you when he wants your attention? Hug you at night? It's an acute stress response. He's defending his body from his mind—that's what that means.

Lastly, his food. It's not very difficult to do. Steam it for thirty minutes. If you lose track of time and think you've cooked it for too long, add another ten minutes. I did that when he was little. He hated vegetables until they weren't shaped much like vegetables anymore. He'd swallow his food whole to hurry up and play outside again, so boil it thoroughly. It should be the consistency of chewed gum or silt. Try it yourself, add salt if you hate it. He doesn't like broccoli. No broccoli. Like everything else, he's still relearning how to chew. Don't push him. He’s sensitive. You know that already, just like you know how to do all this other stuff. You have good intuition, and great memory, and it helps that Mitsuru seems to love you. Even still, don't push him. No broccoli. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Don't expect me to say anything else, I'll see you soon.

Kusumoto Reiko

[buckera]

inspiration saturday 🌙✨

Thank you for the tag @forthewolves mwuah 💛✨

I've been mostly working on the mudslide fic lately, but I also have this thing coming up after, that I lovingly titled the jealous!Eddie fic in my head. I haven't got all that much written for it yet, but I have already been gushing about it to Amanda in our daily 2k buddie letters lol

Buck is dating and Eddie's grumpier about it than usual. This trope is a good old classic, but why fix it if it ain't broken, right?

The rest of the shift was tense, but worse than that, it messed with their rythm. Buck and Eddie had never had issues working together ever since defusing that damned bomb on Eddie's first week. They always knew what the other was thinking without having to voice it, they were a well-oiled machine, their movements always connected and smooth, but now... They were jagged, stop-starting and disconnecting with faux politeness and thinly veiled frustration on both sides.

Buck could barely wait to get home.

After they spent an hour and a half rescuing a couple of hikers from a mudtrap Buck felt like the incredible amount of mud covering him from head to toe was the only thing heavier than the silence between him and Eddie. He wasn't used to this was the thing. They never fought over anything more than Buck letting Chris have cookies for dinner or Eddie insisting that he was ready to come back to work a day after cracking a few ribs.

This was something else.

The buzzing of his phone pulled him out of his thoughts and brought a smile onto his face, just big enough to crack some of the dried mud on his cheeks.

Hey, hope you're having a good day. We're still on for tomorrow, right?

Buck quickly typed in his response (Sure, I'll pick you up at 7) and dropped his phone on top of his towel before he started stripping off his quickly hardening turnout gear.

His smile turned into a frown when he saw Eddie a few steps away, clenching his jaw.

"What?" Buck snapped before he could even realise that he was talking.

"Nothing." Eddie slammed the door to his locker and stomped off, presumably to the showers.

"Whatever," Buck mumbled darkly.

He had no idea what had gotten into Eddie, but he hoped he'll get over it soon, because they had weekend plans with Christopher and Buck really didn't wanna have a conversation with him about why his dad had a problem with Buck dating a guy.

Especially because he couldn't explain it if he tried.

Uhhh as per usual I don't know who to tag, so you know, if you wanna do it, just consider yourself tagged! 💛

[themaskednin]

(N̶o̶) Progress Update 11/02/2023

Hello everyone,

Firstly I would like to apologize for not updating and for disappearing and coming back and then disappearing again and then coming back without any mentions of progress. I really do appreciate all the asks and support despite my absence and lack of updates so I thought I'd write this to at least explain why, I feel shitty leaving people who want to read the story in the dark. I hope this offers some sort of explanation. More below the cut if you're willing to listen to a strangers feelings, it's kinda long so you don't need to read it if you don't want to😅

(Another thing, please forgive me if I come off as rude and annoying, social interaction is definitely not my strong suit)

The reason I haven't been making progress is because I can't write, I'll open my laptop or book, sit down and just stare at it. No thoughts, just emptiness in my head. I think it mostly comes from this fear I have, of not being good enough or that I'll write something that will disappoint people. So I procrastinate and put it off, distracting myself by playing games and doing anything except the one thing I need to do. Honestly don't even read much because it reminds me off writing.

I'm afraid that I will not be able to grasp the personalities of all the Canon characters and end up messing up and writing dialogue is something I'm afraid of too, I do not interact with people much and the kind of person who keeps quiet during conversations due to not knowing what to say and anxiety so I struggle with writing dialogue (Hope that makes sense😭). There's alot of elements to Naruto and I'm afraid I won't be able to manage it and as a huge Naruto fan I don't want to write something that will cause a disservice to such a well-written story.

To sum it all up: I am afraid of writing, and not being good enough, (I'm also a very lazy person I think). When people (in my case that is) are afraid of something they'll likely want to avoid it all they can, and that's what I've been doing. However I'm trying to overcome this fear and maybe setting goals will help. This story is something I do not want to abandon because Naruto is very dear to me, it sits in a special place in my heart, being able to be part of it is something I want and need (kinda cheesy lol😶). I also don't want to abandon readers and everyone who is waiting on this story so please, wait a while longer (If you want that is).

This is not a guarantee that I will update soon but it will update one day (unless I die or something beyond my control happens). I think this all I have to say, damn it's almost been an hour since I started writing this😆.

I hope all of you reading have a lovely weekend...and week...and month and year and-

Thank you all :)

[matildashoney]

love on tour

hiiii. i haven't written anything in so long, i'm not really sure if i even know how to do it anymore.

since we last talked about me not writing anymore, i moved to a new state, started graduate school, have been spending a lot of time with friends, have started going to concerts again (safely, of course), have seen harry twice! and i'll be seeing him again this weekend with a bunch of friends, turned twenty two, started a new job and i'm starting a second one next week. things in my life are absolutely hectic but since tour has started it's made me miss writing.

a lot.

so, with that being said, i think i'm going to start back up again. i have a series in my head that i think i want to roll with, and i'm going to try this out one more time. please bear with me as i try to figure out what i'm doing, again, lol.

love you all very much. enjoy violet and harry.

Harry rushes through the curtains, adrenaline pulsing through his veins and sweat dripping down his forehead, his mask sticking tightly against his face. His eyes are searching for the one person he hasn’t seen since before he was wheeled away in the metal box to go underneath the stage, the person that he knew was dancing in the corner with her friends, unnoticed by anyone else in the room. His lips are pursed together in a straight line when he can’t find her, his ears perking at the sound of her laughter rushing through the hallways as she wipes her hands on her trousers and links arms with their mutual friend to walk back to where her boyfriend would be waiting for her, as he told her he would be before he left ninety-some minutes ago.

This is Violet’s first show since officially stepping out as Harry’s girlfriend. Harry Styles and Violet James are officially dating in the public eye, after navigating nearly two years beyond their initial split, the getting back together and taking it further than it’s ever been before, it’s astonishing to see that they’ve made it this far. Jeff and Lilah have been loving this so fondly with all the press about their relationship thus far, and it’s only made the transition that much more insane.

“V,” Harry calls from the end of the hallway, reaching his hand out and grabbing towards her, smiling when she whispers something to her friend and walks towards him, laying her hand in his and letting him bring her into his chest. “Mm, you smell good.”

“That’s because you smell like sweat,” Violet laughs, pulling her mask down slightly to kiss his cheek, smirking when he brings his own mask to his chin and meets her mouth in a quick kiss. “Taste like it, too.”

“Don’t like the sweat with the ‘stache, love?” he says, kissing her temple sweetly and wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “I didn’t see you in the crowd. Where’d you run off to?”

“Lilah and I were in the back dancing,” she explains, leaning into his chest and hearing the rush of the crowd begin to leave the building. “Curfew” as they called it – or when they had to leave the venue – was at eleven, and they were nearing their time to get kicked out. “I didn’t want to get in the way. Get distracted very easily, H.”

“I do not.”

“Do, too,” she argues, shaking her head and stepping out of his grasp around her body, wiggling her eyebrows as she begins to hurry towards the dressing room where he would be getting changed and showered for the evening.

“Not this, again,” Harry grunts, hurrying after her and following her into the dressing room, ignoring the shouts and hollers from his friends and bandmates as he hustles after her. He knows what’s in store for him behind the shut door, and he’s been waiting for it all night. Especially since she refused to do it in front of his friends and bandmates and crew before the show.

Violet was still getting used to all this. Violet, or V as Harry calls her fondly, is still getting used to all the ‘having everyone around all the time’, ‘everyone in your business always’ thing. Violet never had to deal with that, even as a young engineer in the industry. That was one of the many perks of being behind the scenes. Her name was always in the background. Until now.

“Violet, come here. It’s just us; we’re alone. Cross my heart.”

“What are we? In primary school?” she teases, walking out of the en-suite bathroom and peeling the mask off her face, tossing it on the spare couch in the corner and walking towards her boyfriend – who was insatiably pouting – standing near the door. “You make it so easy to tease you, H.”

“I know, I know,” Harry smirks, wrapping his arms around her waist and hugging her tightly for the first time all night, a real embrace, one where their hearts are pounding against their chests and their mouths are mere inches from each other. “Thank you so much for coming. Know you’re busy working on some stages and all, but it means everything to me that you’re here.”

“Why wouldn’t I be here? I’m your girlfriend. It’s not like I’m crashing the whole tour with you.” Harry pulls away and quirks his eyebrows, silently saying, but you could if you wanted to. “I’m not crashing the whole tour with you. We already talked about this.” Violet made it clear to Harry that she wouldn’t be staying for the entire tour from the very beginning – she wouldn’t be that type of girlfriend, as much as she wanted to be. “I’ll be here until Tuesday and then I’ll see you for Madison Square Garden and Halloween and the last stint in LA.”

Harry chuckles quietly to himself, “Can say it, love. Harryween.”

Violet shakes her head, “I refuse to feed your ego, like that, as much as I love you. It’s a Harry Styles show on Halloween.” Harry smirks and wraps his arms tighter around her waist, holding her as tightly to his chest as physically possible, soaking in the way she brushes through his hair sweetly and hums quietly to herself to the music playing in the background of the arena. “That was amazing, as always, you know. I love seeing you on the stage. It’s where you belong, baby.”

Harry’s eyes crinkle at the corners with his smile, the genuineness of the moment making his heart well with love and affection for the person he’s lucky enough to have a second chance with. Convincing her to go out with him again wasn’t easy, she isn’t very persuadable when it comes to things that she’s already made up her mind about. Harry considers himself lucky that she wasn’t so set in stone when it came to things with him.

Harry always thought of himself as very lucky, especially considering how things turned out with his career and his dream but having her with him, here, halfway across the country when she’s working with their label on about four other stages, at the minute, and not being the one that got away, made him feel especially so. “Thank you for being here.”

“Happy to be here,” she smiles, kissing his cheek and squeaking with a giggle when he lifts her onto his waist and walks her into the bathroom with him, settling her on the counter before stripping and stepping into the shower. “I could’ve waited outside, you know. Until you were, you know, at least a little bit decent.”

“Not anything you haven’t seen before, baby.”

“Is it anything I prefer to see?” she says, squinting her eyes playfully, as though she is trying to see through the steam beginning to surround the bathroom.

Harry smirks and pokes his head out of the shower, “Come in here and find out.”

“You know the rules, H.”

“They’re stupid rules, V,” he mumbles beneath his breath, shaking his head with a quiet laugh. His showers never last very long in the arenas, a quick in and out to rinse off the sweat from the stage and feel semi-clean; nothing like the showers he takes when he gets to the hotels, where he can take his time and really feel refreshed.

“They’re not stupid!”

“They’re a little stupid, my love.”

“Don’t add the ‘my love’ in there to break the insult!” she says, handing a towel towards him as he steps out of the shower and shakes his hair against her legs, dampening her thighs with a hearty laugh. He’s always a child at heart, but especially around Violet. “That’s rude, Harry.”

“I think you’re just making excuses, Violet.” Harry wraps the towel around his waist and walks to the counter, spreading her legs just enough to slide his body in between her thighs. “I’m happy I’ll be seeing you in two weeks. I don’t like being away from you for that long.”

“I know you don’t. You’re a little clingy, my love.”

“Don’t add the ‘my love’ in there to break the insult,” he mimics, shaking his head and laughing quietly. Harry knows he’s clingy; it’s just who he is. He’s always been this way, especially since they’ve barely spent any time together since getting back together at the wedding nearly two months ago. Violet and Harry decided to try again and then Harry was leaving for tour literally two weeks later. “Are you sure you can’t stay a little longer?”

“Unfortunately, I’m sure,” she says regretfully, giving him his shirt and watching as the muscles on his back tense beneath his movements – she’ll take advantage of feeling them later – as he dresses himself. “I’m definitely going to miss you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Harry smirks, his sweatpants settling on his hips and his shirt hanging loosely from his torso. “I think I know why you’ll miss me, but we can pretend it’s ‘cause of other reasons.”

“You’re deranged,” Violet says, jumping off the counter and wrapping her arms around his waist, holding him tightly. “Absolutely deranged.”

[julies-butterflies]

Honestly, your writing reminds me a lot of the buffyverse. Just the perfect balance of humor and sadness and romance and heart that just feels like a vivid window into the world you've created.

God the Body...the best forty minutes of television I may never watch again. I've rewatched Willow and Tara's kiss (because I'll adore them forever), but just...the weight of it. It took me a full month to work up the nerve to watch the episode, to be ready to cry that much.

What you said about not wanting people to suffer, because of your work...It's never once felt like that for me. And I've cried a LOT while reading your work. I'll try to explain it the best I can

Grief can be so isolating, and disorienting. Your world goes topsey-turvey, supports you took for granted go flying into the abyss and suddenly it's a minefield of those glass shards. And no one's grief is identical. No two circumstances are the same. It's not possible for anyone else to know exactly how you feel, because no two hearts break alike.

Sometimes, it's because people just don't understand. Sometime's it's because they no longer want to. But some days, that feeling of aloneness can be crushing.

Then one night, I stumbled upon Let These Shadows Fall Away Like Dust. That one hit me way harder than I was ever expecting. The question of how to grieve the living, the dilemma on when forgiveness is deserved...Alex's anger, his devestation, the rawness of it all....That's my broken glass. Those are concepts I've been struggling for over a year. I'm still picking up pieces every day.

I sobbed, because it was such a relief. To see the feelings that had been scrambled up in my mind just reflected there, on my screen. The reminder I had desperately needed, that I was not alone. That even though my circumstances were different, I was not the only one trying to unravel those messy emotions.

Then again, I also read your deathfic for fun, so maybe I'm not the best judge of this. I tend to like angst. I tend to get a lot of "WHY WOULD YOU MAKE IT THAT SAD" in group chats :D

Please don't feel any pressure to respond to me quickly or anything. I never mind the wait. I'm so sorry for the rough times. Wishing that you and your family gets whatever you need to help ease your storm. Sending love and support as well.

(sorry for all the metaphors. I'm super sleepy and apparently, I resort to purple prose when tired lol)

I know exactly what you mean about Emily. I understand why people don't like her, but I just love to see her written as such a grey character. It's just so much more powerful when the love is so clearly there.

I mean, that's what a tragedy is, really. Love cut short. Grieving a future that could have been everything, if fate had not been cruel. I don't know if you know musical theater, but I like to think about the Barber and His Wife, from Sweeney Todd: the whole tragedy of that show, is that they were happy all together, and then permanently broken. How their paths keep crossing, but they never connect to heal. Never lost, but never found.

And that's the tragedy of Luke and Emily: too stubborn and too late. You find that grey area, the messiness so well, and just bring it all out so wonderfully. You do the same with Bobby/Trevor, ESPECIALLY in the horror and the wild. God, that absolutely devestated me. I'm not a big fan of horror in general, and I haven't explored the genre that much but...if all horror is like yours then DAMN, I might just have to become a fan.

This got super long (lol) so I'll wrap it up now but! THE SIC FIC QUEENS TOGETHER???? When I tell you I lost it.... all too well Bobby and what you've lost reggie in the same story are killing me. I am hooked and incredibly hyped. Loved both updates so far, and cannot wait to see where the story goes!

Oh yeah and I forget: I have to ask, do you have a fan cast of the one, the only, the incredible Keith Richards? (and that goblin is so cute!!! I really want to pet the blood thirsty monster. So badly)

Love, your totally-not-undead-pen-pal, :D

-Vampire Anon

Know musicals? Vampire Anon my beloved, I am a musical theatre bitch. Take a look at my high school graduation cap! (Anastasia is my favorite musical... something about the themes of home, love, and family, the idea of always finding a place in the world even after enduring incredible hardship, that anything is survivable with faith and love in your heart... I'm also a Romanov history bitch, and Christy Altomare is such an incredible talent and human being.) Literally, talk to me about musicals anytime!

And yeah, I definitely see your metaphor... the tragedy of The Barber and his Wife was how close they came to each other throughout the whole show, existing within reach the entire time, after being separated for so long. But it wasn't the same; it never could be. Time and trauma had changed them both into something unrecognizeable, and when they came face-to-face, they could only hurt each other. At a certain point, the ghosts of your past are meant to stay ghosts. Sure, you might want them back more than anything --- but what would it mean? What would you truly be getting back?

Luke's "back", of course, and he comes home to visit his parents multiple times... but they're not the same people he left. They're older, greyer, changed by grief... while he's just the same. A snapshot forever frozen in time, a memory crystalized in amber. You can't hold memories in your hands. You can't pull them close and refuse to let them go. Eventually, they'll slip away... and to Mitch and Emily, a memory is all their son is, now. That's what's so heartrending about the situation we see in the show, especially --- so much love still exists between all of them, but it has no place to go.

Okay, sorry, it's 3am here and I'm rambling too, haha --- mentioning musical theatre was a mistake.

I'm so glad my stories have been able to connect with you, especially 'shadows' --- that one resonated with a lot of people, more than I ever realized it would. It's not the most personal story to me... but definitely one that needed to be told, and the emotion in it... hits home for a lot of people. It means so much to me knowing that story, and Alex's internal struggle, has made people feel less alone.

I think I'm going to have a hard time looking back on that one, though. We were staying at my aunt's house for the weekend where I wrote most of it; I read a few excerpts to her, and she said she liked it. She was always interested in my writing... I kind of wish I'd gotten the chance to share more of it with her.

Like you said. Grief's a funny thing. Disorienting, relentless, and crushing.

Please just remember, though --- whatever you're dealing with, you're not alone. You don't have to cut yourself on those broken pieces... one day, you'll wake up, and realize you feel whole again. It will never feel the same, and the pain will always be there... but healing around it is what makes us stronger. You don't owe anyone your forgiveness; it's okay to grieve when you've lost something, regardless of whether death has taken them from you. Grief doesn't have to be earned, it simply has to be felt.

You'll be stronger for it, in the end. I'm sorry you've been hurting so much.

Anyways! Oh gosh! On to lighter, happier topics! Please tell me...

What are your favorite fics? (Like, my fics, obviously, which fics of mine do you just go gaga over? Please praise me or else my ego will shrivel like a worm on hot pavement.) No, okay, I'm kidding --- what are your top fics for this fandom? Like, what are the ones that really resonate with you, that you could read over and over? The JATP fandom has so many greats, but I'm always drawn back to Some Killer Queen You Are by pearlcaddy (buffyverse meets jatp!! iconic!!), Lantern's Light by thefairhero (literally the SOFTEST reggie), the sky's not empty tonight by firefall (just... devastating and beautiful in a dozen ways), and literally anything by foundfamilyvevo.

How long have you been in the JATP fandom? Who are your favorite characters? What's your favorite JATP song?

And finally, most importantly... what are your favorite musicals?

(also... since u asked... behold keith richards and tremble)

[kckenobi]

Hi kasey! B, F and Y? in case you haven't already. I'm glad you got through this week!❤️🥰 Now you can write as much as you want (presuming you don't have anything else to do)

Hi Ann! Sorry I’m getting to this a little late—there were a few in my inbox I kinda forgot about lol. And thank you!! Yes I got so much writing done this weekend, it’s been SO NICE after such a wild week :)

From these fic asks

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

In a way, yes! I mean there’s a lot of little snippets in my fics that come straight from real life, if not the plots themselves. There’s a joke between my brother and I where he once said “I’m a giant asset” and I said “your half right” to call him an ass, and that made it into chapter 2 of bloodlines lol. Also things like the brotherly banter, unspoken affection (cause my family tends to not do the words thing very often), etc are some general things across most of my fics, probably

Rainfall came from a moment last summer where my friends and I got caught in sprinklers on the lawn of the Washington monument in D.C. at 11 P.M. and started screaming and running through them, and my best friend was pulling my hand and I couldn’t even see through the raindrops on my glasses so I just let her lead me, laughing

Keepsakes is straight from my own experience of moving out to go to college, packing things up in my childhood bedroom and getting all nostalgic about it with my mom (jokes on me tho because I’m back to living in my childhood bedroom lol)

Six Feet Under comes from me being claustrophobic lol, and projecting a worst nightmare scenario onto Obi-Wan

Also, any of my Obi-wan migraine fics are basically me projecting lol, I don’t get migraines but I have a thing that has similar symptoms and just...really like to see Obi-wan being taken care of (so self-indulgent I know but this is fic folks)

Y: A character you want to protect.

Ahsoka. I once entertained writing a fic where Ahsoka does die on Mortis and literally could not even think about the idea seriously without going NOPE. NOPENOPENOPE. She can’t die she is a precious child oh god

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Ooh I think it was this one from When the Music Stops:

“You’re paranoid,” Satine said.

“I’m realistic.”

“And you’re afraid.”

“I’m right.”

“And did it ever occur to you that you’re not the only one?” She rose her voice, and Obi-Wan took a step back. “I lost you once. I have felt the weight of that grief already, and I feel it even now. But after Naboo…when I found out you were still alive, that the whole thing was a hoax, I expected perhaps that weight would be lifted. Yet it hasn’t been,” she said. The stained-glass light made her face look flushed, and her eyes flared. “It hasn’t been, because I lost you a long time ago. No, I’ve lost you a million little times—on Mandalore, on the Coronet, on Coruscant—yet still I fear the day I’ll lose you again. And I’ll be grieving you preemptively for the rest of my life.”

She finally looked away, and the loss of her gaze felt like something had been ripped from him.

 “Satine—”

“You Jedi always prattle on about letting go,” she said, turning away to face the stained glass. “Well, my life has been a grand exercise in letting go, in letting be what must be, in losing. I have made my peace with that, and I am prepared to face whatever end may come to meet me. Whatever end, except one—one where the phantom weight of losing you becomes real. Where I’m the one left behind, instead of the other way around.”

I love writing dialogue with Satine and Obi-Wan because they’re both so eloquent and trained to use language very intentionally, so when you put them together it’s just....yes. Plus this fic is just special to me, and I have you to thank for the fact that it exists :)

[mlmdarkfiction]

Oh man I'm so into Josh Washington (I just rlly love Rami Malek tbh) and that short fic you wrote was so good!!! Would it be okay to ask if you could add/write more? I'm totally down for it getting darker (I'm not the original anon btw) also I totally love your blog!!! (P.S. I haven't seen BtD and I have no idea who Strade is but that "you're doing so good buddy!" murder scene you wrote reminds me SO MUCH of Trager from Outlast and it's def a 10/10 from me)

Dude agreed, I was talking recently and I wouldnt say I have a celebrity crush on anyone but if i had to pick it’d absolutely be Rami Malek tbh. I’m totally down for writing continuations of fics, this sadly didn’t get very dark, and kinda still left it to interpretation and where it can get continued so maybe it will lol

also that Strade piece is like…one of my favorite things I’ve written tbh?Tag List: @datenightfrightPart One: Here

Read Bellow:

The first thing you do after the realization is call your best friend Ashley. She’s able to calm you down, thankfully, after all she’s okay friends with Josh and Chris, and explains that it’s not all that weird. In all likelihood she’d probably mentioned where you lived once or twice, and Josh just remembered, according to her he’s good at remembering little details like that.

Thanks to her you’re able to spend the rest of the day in relative ease. You call someone to tow your car from the school parking lot toy our house until you can bother to get it looked like, do homework, and relax. A part of the time there’s a nagging guilt in the back of your mind.

From here on out you have to be nicer to Josh. After all he helped you today, even though he was under no obligation too, and for free.

-

You wake early the next morning wanting to prepare for the obnoxiously tedious, but totally doable walk to school. However when you open the door to leave you’re met face to face with Josh Washington. He looks equally surprised to see you, even though it’s obviously your house, and he looks to be mid knock.

Transfering your hanging poptart from your mouth to your hand, you finally ask,

“Josh? What are you doing here?”

He looks like he’s been caught doing something he’s not supposed to, eyes looking everywhere but you, and you have to admit, in a weird way, it’s cute.

“I just thought…if you couldn’t drive your car home yesterday, you probably didn’t have a ride to school today so…I thought I’d give you a ride?”

Oh.

Yeah, he’s much more thoughtful than you had originally thought. You really do have to be nicer to him from now on.

“That’s really sweet Josh.”

He seems to perk up entirely at your words.

-

Your cars been in the shop a whole week now. Meaning that you’ve been going to and from school with Josh for a whole week.

Despite what you may have originally thought about him, you’ve actually found yourself growing closer to him, and liking him. Hell, you’d even go as far as to call the two of you friends.

Still, aside from the rides, and the couple of classes the two of you share with one another you hadn’t actually seen eachother often, or really outside of school at all.

That’s why it’s kind of surprising to you when Josh stops you before you get out of his car this time.

“Hey, ____?”“Yeah?”“Would you want to like…see a movie with me this weekend?”

Does he mean like a date? Or just as friends?

Really, you aren’t sure, but…you don’t think you’d mind if it was a date.

Grinning, you decide to take the initiative,

“Sure…It’s a date!”

Not giving him time to react to your comment, or be forced to deal with your own humiliation, you practically bolt out of the car and up the steps to the home.

You’re still grinning, feeling bubbly and happy from the daring action and the butterflies in your stomach. You notice the light on the phone blinking, and with a sigh, let go of your happiness to check the message left behind on the voice mail.

It’s from the mechanic.

You don’t care to listen to the full thing after you hear it will take even longer for them to fix it, you delete the message, and move on.

However that just means you missed the part when the repairman mentions it looks like someone specifically sabotaged your car.