#in which sara has far too many opinions about bras

[sarcasticsra]

PSA: if you wear a bra

You're probably wearing the wrong size. Most people are.

This is a screenshot of the bra company Pepper's size guide. Let's take a look at this, shall we?

Hmm, a 25-26" underbust and a 29-30" bust... sized as a 30A.

No. This is not how bra-sizing works. The band ought to match or be fairly close to the underbust measurement. It HAS to be, to provide any support and to be comfortable. Because, yes, bras can be quite comfortable! In the correct size. A band that is too big is going to ride up and shift and rub and move and be awful. A cup that is too small is going to squeeze your tissue into the band, making it feel tighter, and painful, because now your band is pressed into breast tissue.

Bra sizes are a ratio. The letter by itself is meaningless. There is no such thing as "an A cup" or "a D cup." Both A and D cups look vastly different on different bands. "Size DD+" as a bra size category is similar to a shoe store with a "size 6+" category, except worse, because shoe size really is generally only determined by one number. "DD+" being all the information you're going on to determine a bra size would be like answering the question, "How far away is that?" with, "Five." Minutes? Hours? Miles? Blocks? There's a whole range of things that could mean!

The letters correspond (roughly--people don't come in 2-inch increments) to inches of difference between the under and over bust measurement. So going back to our supposed "30A" up there... let's assume a 26" underbust and a 30" bust. 30 is 4 more inches than 26.

A: 1 inch, B: 2 inches, C: 3 inches, D: 4 inches.

Yes, that's correct. That person Pepper is trying to shove into a 30A should be wearing a 26D. A 30A bra would be for someone with a rough underbust measurement of 30 inches and a rough bust measurement of 31 inches. 1 inch difference. Whereas the 26D is for 26 under, 30 over. Notice how the 26D is actually a SMALLER total circumference than the 30A? Cup size scales with band size.

The reason this company pisses me off in particular is because if they wanted to be a niche "smaller boobs" bra company, there is a HUGE untapped market in people who need sub-32 bands. A few carry 30s and 28s but good luck if you need a 26 or 24. And they could help more people get into PROPERLY fitted bras, instead of tossing them into matrix sizes and pretending they're special.

I saw this on their website: "The industry designs for 36C. We design for AA, A, and B."

YOU CANNOT DESIGN FOR CUP SIZE INDEPENDENT OF BAND SIZE.

Also, the industry designs for fucking no one. The industry calls "A cups" small and "D cups" large, tosses out 32-40 in bands and A-DD in cup sizes and calls it good.

DD is five inches of difference between under bust and bust. 5 inches on a person with a 30-inch underbust is going to look MUCH different than 5 inches on a person with a 38-inch underbust. A circle with a total circumference of 43 inches is MUCH larger than a circle with a total circumference of 35 inches.

If you wear bras, and you want to make your life infinitely better, I beg, plead, urge you to go to abrathatfits.org and do the calculator. (Particularly if you've always been sized as an A or B cup, because those are actually very rare true sizes on any band.) The calculator actually takes into account 6 measurements, because for some people a leaning bust measurement is more important than a standing one. Believe the calculator. It will almost certainly give you a band size smaller than you expect and a cup size much larger than you expect. It's not perfect, so it's a good idea to try a cup larger and smaller, too, but it's generally very close. Try different sizes in the same bra--and NOT a t-shirt bra or any bra with molded/formed cups. almost no one properly fits those. Look for an unlined, seamed bra. Go by UK sizing, and stick to the UK brands. (Bare Necessities carries a bunch of them.) US bras are horribly inconsistent, especially in larger cup sizes. UK brands also generally have a far larger size range.

Any time you try on a bra, be sure to "scoop and swoop" to ensure ALL of the breast tissue fits into the cup. A big issue with ill-fitting bras is breast tissue that migrated to the armpit. You ever notice a little bulge on the side at the top of the band under your arm? There's a good chance that's actually displaced breast tissue.

Also check out The Irish Bra Lady on Instagram. She has tons of posts showing what properly fitted bras look like, in a wide range of sizes. If you're really in doubt about the size the calculator gives you, check her account first, she probably has a picture of someone in that size or close. It's helpful sometimes to see what it actually looks like.

Unfortunately, size is only one aspect of a well-fitting bra. Shape is equally important. Some bras have taller cups, some have shorter, which work better for different root sizes. There's fullness, is it mostly on the top or bottom? Even? Horizontally? Close set, wide set? Projected, shallow?

Go through all the resources at the abrathatfits subreddit. They have tons and tons of information to help determine your shape, what bras might work best for you, and the commenters are incredibly helpful if you need to make a post to ask a question.

I'm not going to lie, it took me probably 6-9 months to find a bra that fits? I have to buy mine from Poland. It was a bit of an ordeal.

But now? Now, I think about my bra exactly twice per day: once when I put it on in the morning and once when I take it off in the evening. I don't notice it. It doesn't shift. It doesn't poke. My straps aren't cutting into my shoulders or falling off them. I'm not constantly "reseating" my boobs. It turns out they stay put just fine if you give them a seat they actually fit into.

Finding a well-fitting bra is up there with medication and regular exercise in terms of its contribution to my quality of life. It's confusing, and there's a LOT, but it is SO fucking worth it.

You know that TIkTok trend question that's all, "if you HAD to start talking about one topic for 30+ minutes straight, what would you talk about?"

Yeah.

I will spend the rest of my life shouting all of this from the rooftops. Bras can be comfortable! It's actually true!

[tamayokny]

family shopping trip; kanera week 2020

Hi, everyone! I hope you have all enjoyed Kanera Week. Here is my small contribution to it. I wrote this the week before I started back university, and I found myself enjoying it as I stressed for the first week! Now here I am, about to continue on to week three and still in an uproar, LOL. Seeing all of your creations, though? It has brought relief to me. I hope this gift returns the favor!

Special thanks to Nikki and Sara for hosting @kaneraweek. Seriously, you guys are amazing!

[AO3 LINK] 

sypnosis: Kanan, Hera, and their family take a last minute trip to Walmart. It goes as well as one would expect.

For Kanera Week, Day 7: Family.

(I apologize if formatting is weird. We’re currently having disagreements with each other.)

Sitting in the Walmart parking lot at 9:50 in the evening was not part of Kanan’s Wednesday plans. Yet here he was, in the passenger seat as Hera maneuvered into one of the parking spaces perfectly, van jerking when she set it to park.

“When we get inside, you get what you need and go. We are on the clock, there’s no time for games,��� Kanan warned his family. “Once you’re done getting whatever it is, you find Hera. Got it?”

“Yes sir,” Ezra, Sabine, and Garazeb echoed altogether, slight wit in their tones.

“He especially means you, Ezra,” Sabine quipped from the middle row, a teasing grin forming on her face.

“Shut up!” Ezra retaliated, swatting at Sabine’s head. Sabine dodged out of his reach and pressed herself against the car door.

“Don’t fight in front of Jacen,” Hera chided.

“Knock it off,” Kanan translated. “Everyone know what they need?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Now get out.”

Ezra and Sabine rushed out of the van, charging through the parking lot and into the store. Garazeb was climbing out from the backseat, grumbling about how those good-for-nothing kids just left him behind.

“You think you would get used to it,” Kanan mused as he unbuckled his seat belt and proceeded to get out of the van.

“Oh, not you too!” Garazeb groaned, slamming the door behind him.

Meanwhile, Kanan and Hera were the last ones to get out. Hera was busy with making sure the headlights were turned off before exiting the driver’s seat and getting Jacen. Kanan was busy making sure he was exiting the van safely, getting his white cane ready as he had to venture into a hellhole with his chaotic family.

“You ready?” Hera came up to his side, Jacen curling in her arms.

“Yeah,” Kanan replied. “Let’s go.”

The couple and their small son walked briskly across the parking lot, the tapping of Kanan’s cane echoing off the asphalt.

“Remind me again: why are we here at ten o’clock at night?” Kanan asked Hera, trying his best not to sound agitated.

“Because Ezra and Sabine forgot that they had projects to complete, and Zeb came along for a beer run,” Hera reminded her husband as she grabbed a cart, promptly placing Jacen in the child seat. “We also need to restock on groceries, we’re running low this week.”

“It’s what we get for sending Zeb and Ezra out to do the shopping on Saturday,” Kanan sighed. Hera laughed.

“Well, it gives us a family adventure. How many can say that they take a trip to Walmart at 10 o’clock on a Wednesday night?”

“A lot of people.”

* * * * *

When Hera said that they needed to restock on groceries, they really needed to restock on groceries. 

“This is going to take longer than expected,” Hera noted in an apologetic tone.

“When it’s our family, expect the unexpected,” Kanan mused. He smiled as he felt his son’s chubby hand toying with the hand Kanan had resting on the handlebar. 

Hera snorted as she grabbed the next item from her grocery list. “You got that right.”

“Besides being out so late, I am enjoying this,” Kanan added thoughtfully. While it’s true that he wasn’t exactly happy with Ezra and Sabine’s forgetfulness, he did enjoy the time he spent with his family.

“Well, you always did like to do the grocery shopping,” Hera smiled. 

“You can thank my mom for that. I always loved running errands with her,” Kanan reminisced. “And wherever you go, I go. Mostly.”

“Right. I don’t think you could do my job,” Hera joked, before reaching up to kiss her husband. “Now—what is it?”

Kanan had frozen up on the spot, a certain feeling of intuition washing over him. This specific feeling happened when—

“Ezra and Sabine is doing something dumb. I know it.”

GARAZEB. GARAZEB. GARAZEB.

Kanan sighed as his phone rang. Having a feeling knowing what he was calling for, Kanan answered the call.

“Yes?”

“Ezra and Sabine are arguing about movies.”

“Put me on speaker.”

Garazeb followed Kanan’s command, putting his phone on speaker. He could hear the two teenagers bickering (something about Studio Ghibli? Kanan wasn’t totally sure), and he was sure that Hera and Jacen could hear the fight, as Hera shot him a perplexed look while Jacen babbled happily, recognizing the voices.

“Hey!” Kanan barked out. The arguing ceased almost immediately as Ezra and Sabine heard the authority. “What did I say? Get what you need and meet Hera and I!”

“But—!”

“No buts,” Kanan interrupted. “We are out late enough already, and Jacen is getting tired—”

“Unlikely.”

“—and need I remind you that you both have school tomorrow?” Ezra and Sabine didn’t say anything else, which made Kanan feel triumph. “Good to hear.”

Kanan hung up without another word. Hera looked at him, and Kanan didn’t need his sight to know that she was thinking.

“Why is Zeb with them?”

“I—” Kanan began but stopped short. She was right. Why was he with them? He should be in the frozen foods and alcohol aisles of this stupid store.

“And did you really use our son to control them?”

Kanan smirked as he could hear the teasing in Hera’s voice.

“They don’t always listen to me, you know. Sometimes, it’s good to guilt-trip big siblings.”

“They know Jacen is somewhat of a night owl,” Hera pointed out.

Kanan shrugged. “Yeah, well...they’re going to get back on track.”

“You think?” If Hera had to be honest, she knew Sabine and Ezra were going to cause more ruckus. Kanan had to know as well, but he was holding on to some shred of faith that they would get their act together.

It was going to be an interesting trip, as if it wasn't already. * * * * * Hera had to get more underwear and Kanan was wondering if she had put everything on the backburner, because purchasing underwear was not on their weekly shopping list.

“Why do you need it?” Kanan asked.

“The wire broke in one bra, and both Ezra and Zeb need more boxers,” Hera explained. She began to walk around a rack when she suddenly stopped.

“What’s going on?” Kanan asked, sensing her still figure.

“It’s Ezra and Sabine. Ezra’s holding a bra out in front him. I think they’re goofing off.”

“EZRA!”

“GAH!” Ezra yelped, throwing the article of clothing away from him. He ran off, Sabine right on his heels, laughing, before either Kanan or Hera could question or scold them.

Kanan felt like he aged ten more years. This was starting to be a long night for him.

“For the love of—let’s just go.”

The couple continued to navigate through the aisles, with Kanan pushing the cart and entertaining their young son while Hera picked out what they needed. Hera would talk to Kanan often, asking his opinion on what they needed and if he had any preferences. She would make jokes that would cause Kanan to laugh, with Jacen giggling along as a result.

Kanan cherished these moments. This family that he had: Hera, Garazeb, the kids...despite what he may say or present to the world, he loved them. 

SABINE. SABINE. SABINE.

For the second time that night, Kanan’s phone rang. This time it was Sabine. Kanan was quick to accept the call.

“Yes?” Kanan answered.

“What’s our budget?” Sabine asked. Kanan exhaled in relief, knowing that she was at least focused on her task as of right now.

“Depends on what you need. You know our budget system.”

“Cool. Thanks.”

Sabine hung up, leaving Kanan to put his phone away.

“It sounds like Sabine is on track,” Hera observed.

“Better than Ezra,” Kanan agreed. “I know he’s trying, but he cannot afford to fail his assignment...that’s due in fourteen hours.”

“He’ll get it done. It’s not that hard, is it?”

“It sounds like it’s not, but you know how he is. Procrastinating until the last minute, goofing off in the meantime...”

Hera raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like someone I know.”

Kanan scowled. “I know you’re not talking about me.”

“Do you think I’ve forgotten all the stories your mother has told me?” Hera questioned. “All about a rowdy little boy, who, while doing his work was also known to be quite the troublemaker?”

Kanan deflated, knowing Hera wasn’t far off. 

“I wasn’t a troublemaker. I just caused mischief,” Kanan half-heartedly defended. “And don’t forget inquisitive. I was always asking questions.”

“Sounds like a teenaged boy we know now.”

Kanan stopped, as he heard familiar yells from the back of the store.

“Isn’t that Ezra and Garazeb?” Hera asked.

“Yes,” Kanan gritted out. “I’ll be right back.”

Kanan left Hera and Jacen, navigating his way to the sound of the yelling. As he got closer, he could hear hollow plastic bouncing and clattering against each other. Kanan narrowed his eyes.

“Ahem.”

Kanan couldn’t see them, but he was sure that they froze in position, with one of them dropping the item in their hand.

“What aisle are we in?” Kanan asked, even though he already had a good idea already.

Garazeb was the one to speak up.

“The toy aisle.”

“And why are we in the toy aisle?”

“...because we’re bored?”

Kanan sighed, shaking his head as his hands found purchase on his hips. He was sure he was mimicking both Hera and his mother’s “mom pose”, but he found himself not caring in the slightest.

“Garazeb, you go finish your own shopping list. Ezra, lead me to the art supply aisle. Now.”

“Alright, geezer, I’m leaving,” Garazeb informed Kanan. He then leered at Ezra, ruffling the teenager’s hair. “Have fun with daddy.”

Ezra scowled, swatting at Garazeb. “Shut up, you weirdo! It was your idea to battle it out!”

“Watch it, kid!” Garazeb retorted, pushing Ezra slightly. 

“Hey! You—” Ezra started, but stopped when Kanan tugged his arm.

“Let’s go. Now.”

Ezra grumbled, but led Kanan to where he needed to go anyway. Kanan made sure to send Hera a text (with Ezra proofreading), letting her know that he was with Ezra. * * * * * Jacen was playing with Hera’s phone when it rang. Startled by the vibration, Jacen threw the phone up in the air, but Hera was able to catch it. She scanned the ID, answering quickly.

“Yes?”

“I’m with Ezra, but Sabine’s not here. Have you seen her?”

“No,” Hera drawled out. “Is she in need of the same supplies as Ezra?”

“I think so,” Kanan answered. “...but I don’t know.”

Hera said nothing.

“Kan—”

CRASH!

“Shit!” Hera heard a loud curse from the next aisle over. She knew who it was by the sound of their voice.

“Hera, what was—”

“I gotta go. Bye.”

Hera hung up, throwing her phone into her purse before she pushed the cart and ran to the next aisle.

Hera found Garazeb in the aisle, looking as if he was about to lose it as he stared at broken bottles and alcohol substances on the floor.

“Uh, Zeb?”

Garazeb, who was staring at the mess, slowly looked up to meet Hera’s gaze.

“Everything’s fine.”

“Zeb—”

“Really, Hera. It’s okay. I’ll even pay for this mess,” Garazeb stopped her, as he picked up a new case and placed it on the bottom rack of the shopping cart. “I’ll pay for this, too.”

“It’s fine, Zeb. We’re part of the same household,” Hera told him. 

“No, I insist.”

Hera opened her mouth to speak but shut it and shook her head to herself, ultimately deciding not to argue with Garazeb. She had to meet with Kanan, Ezra, and Sabine soon.

“Alright. Do you need anything else? I think all of your usual requests.”

“Yeah. I need a pack of cigarettes.” * * * * *

Everything was not fine.

Kanan was standing in the craft section of the door, arms crossed as he heard Ezra freak out over what to get. Apparently, the teenager either forgot or did not plan this out. Kanan was sure that it was a mixture of both scenarios.

“What is the assignment? It’s not like it’s the same as Sabine’s, is it?” Kanan questioned.

“No,” Ezra huffed, furrowing his eyebrows. Kanan could sense that he was frustrated so instead of teasing him, the older man decided to guide Ezra the best he could.

“So, what’s the assignment?” Kanan repeated. Ezra told him, which led to Kanan nodding, a sign that he was actively listening. “Okay, so you’ll probably just need some cardboard, some colored paper, and markers. Those are probably some of your starting items you need.”

“Okay,” Ezra said before he began to mumble to himself, a sign that he was focused on the task. Kanan hummed in contentment, sensing that Ezra’s frustration had begun to ebb away. As he stood there, however, he realized something.

“Where’s Sabine?”

“How should I know? Maybe she’s back with Hera,” Ezra suggested.

“I heard my name?” Hera popped out of nowhere, with Garazeb carrying Jacen in tow. It appeared that he was both keeping him entertained and helping Hera in regards to storage. The shopping cart was almost overflowing, especially since her organizer (Kanan) had disappeared on her.

“We were talking about Sabine. Have you seen her?” Kanan questioned.

“No,” Hera shook her head. “She’s not around here?”

“I haven’t heard anything that indicated so,” Kanan answered.

“I haven’t seen her,” Ezra confirmed.

“Me either,” Garazeb added. 

“That’s strange. Where could she—” Kanan began, but stopped abruptly. Realizing that if she wasn’t here, then she was in—

“I’ll be back,” Kanan huffed. 

“I’ll come with you,” Hera said. She looked up to Garazeb. “Zeb, watch the cart and the kids.”

“Hey!” Ezra shouted. “I’m not a kid.”

“Yes you are,” Kanan told him. He motioned for Hera before turning to walk away. Hera was right by his side in seconds.

“Where do you think she’s at?” Hera asked, as she glanced through the aisles that they passed.

“If you were obsessed with constantly changing your appearance, where would you be?” Kanan asked.

“Of course!” The realization hit Hera. “Of course…”

The couple found Sabine in no time in the hair product aisle, inspecting boxes of…

“Sabine.”

Sabine’s head snapped towards the sound of Hera’s call, dropping her shopping basket in process. Hera could see that Sabine had items in the basket, indicating that the girl had picked up what she needed, and had decided to take a quick stop in this section.

“I got what I needed, I swear!” Sabine proclaimed, picking the basket back up. She began to list off all the stuff she had.

“We believe you,” Kanan told her. “But do you really need to dye your hair again?”

“Yes,” Sabine answered. “I won’t do it tonight, but I want to get this color before they sell out. Is that okay?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

Hera and Kanan glanced at each other. Hera’s face showed perplexity, and Kanan showed similar sentiment. 

“Kanan?” Hera questioned.

“Aren’t you coming back later?”

“Just let her get it. It does look like they’re running low on what she wants.”

“Fine.”

“Yes!” Sabine cheered. “Thank you, thank you! You guys are the best!”

Sabine ran towards the married couple, hugging Hera first before Kanan.

“You’re sweet, Sabine,” Hera smiled at the teenager. “Now, come on. We should get back to—”

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!”

Hera and Sabine glanced at each other and at Kanan, who could only sigh heavily for what must have been the thirtieth time since they’ve been at Walmart.

“Kanan,” Hera began.

“I’m strangling them both,” Kanan said. “Do not wait for me.”

It didn’t take long for Kanan to find Ezra and Garazeb, seeing as they weren’t being quiet in their bickering. It also helped that Jacen was babbling and laughing at the scene in front of him, only getting happier when Kanan returned.

“Dada!”

Judging by the pitter-patter sounds, Jacen was moving towards Kanan. Kanan knelt down, holding his arms out and caught his young son in his hold, picking him up and giving him a kiss.

“What’s Uncle Zeb and Ezra doing?” Kanan asked Jacen. 

“Fi!” the young boy answered, glee in his tone. 

“Fight?” Kanan mused, as if he didn’t already know what Garazeb and Ezra were doing. His head tilted in the direction of the bantering. Kanan didn’t quite catch what they were fighting about, but he would bet that Garazeb provoked Ezra in some manner. It’s what he did best.

“Are you two done?” Kanan asked, and almost flinched at the exhaustion in his own voice. He must be more tired than he realized. He wished he knew what time it was, besides the fact that it was past his own bedtime.

Garazeb and Ezra froze, their attention gravitating towards Kanan. They could tell by his tone and body language that he was exhausted...exhausted of their antics. Deciding not to talk back (this time), the two sighed in defeat.

“Yes, sir,” Garazeb and Ezra echoed.

“Good,” Kanan nodded. “Ezra, did you get what you needed?”

“Yes.”

“Then let’s go!”

* * * * *

The ragtag family returned to the house around 11:30. As soon as Hera parked in the garage, Sabine and Ezra booked out of the van and into the house so they could work on their projects. Kanan and Hera could only chuckle at their antics, not surprised in the slightest.

Jacen was fast asleep in his car seat, and Garazeb offered to put him to bed as Kanan and Hera took care of the groceries.

“Just don’t wake him up,” Hera agreed to Garazeb’s helping hand. “We don’t want a repeat of last time.”

“We certainly don’t. You can leave my stuff out, I’ll take care of it,” Garazeb told the couple up front before he carried Jacen out and into the house.

As soon as Garazeb entered the house, both Hera and Kanan sighed in relief.

“That was a trip,” Kanan was the first to speak.

“You know something like this happens whenever we all go out together,” Hera pointed out, smiling in thought. “You know you love it.”

“I don’t,” Kanan said quickly. 

“I don’t believe you,” Hera told him.

“I know you don’t.” Kanan leaned over the PRNDL, giving Hera a chaste kiss on the lips. “Come on, let’s get this stuff put away.”

* * * * * *

Some notes:

Basic title because I forgot to actually come up with a title.

Kanan is blind from an undisclosed accident. He has a folding white cane, but does not always use it.

The scenarios that Ezra and Sabine are put through are based off my own experiences with my friends at Walmart. It's also the only place you can hang out, especially if you're under the age of 21 LOL

Zeb is semi-inspired by my aunt's brother. Zeb definitely gives the vibe of  the middle-aged, single uncle that consumes alcohol and cigarettes.

Chopper is the family pet. I was thinking of a shih tzu (because...they're chaotic). I haven't finalized my decision, so any input on what animal Chopper would be is welcomed.

Thank you so much for reading!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #207

“it’s late, and you’re still staring at the light; to call it an addiction’s impolite.”

Nevermind what gender you ARE, what gender do you WANT to be? Happy being a girl. Do you ever feel ashamed revealing your age? When it's to people who are aware of how behind I am in the adult world in any context, yes. Very. If they know nothing about me, then I don't care. Are you confident enough to reveal your height and weight? Height, I don't care. Weight, fuck no. What do your parents call you? Both usually say "Britt," but Dad's more likely to use terms of endearment like "sweetie" and such. Well, Mom does use "hunny" a lot too. How old were you when you first got to go on the computer? Idr. About the "normal" age for little kids that played Neopets, probably. Would you say you’re an emotional person? Way too emotional. What’s a color that suits you the best? Black. And a color you just can’t pull off/don’t want to? Probably most... I wouldn't know, almost every single thing I wear is black. I have literally one light purple shirt, and I think that's the only non-black shirt I own. Describe yourself when you were 6 years old? Very talkative, extremely imaginative, outgoing, I was definitely weird, tomboyish, very happy... Man, I miss being that kid sometimes. A type of personality you just can't stand? The older and older I get, the more I cannot STAND a closed mind. I like people who accept they're far from always right, and sometimes, your "right" isn't such for someone else, and that is fine. You don't have to see the same way to still get along perfectly (though of course, there's no need to respect an opinion that spits upon, invalidates, or is just plain hateful towards another person/group). Like just as an example 'cuz I feel like I explained that poorly; I'm really not into the idea of polygamy at all, but I'm not against it for people it works with. You do you. Your appearance in one word would be? "Abilify." :^) City type of person or country? I like the live in a more country-ish area, but I found through Chicago I LOVE /visiting/ cities. What’s something you’re obsessed about right now? When am I not obsessed with Mark, meerkats, Silent Hill, opossums (a newer addition), WoW, etc. etc.? My whole life runs on obsessing over something, fren. Your reaction if someone told you you look 10 years older than your age? ZOINKS that would suck ass. Do you really badly want anything right now? For the past couple weeks, I've become more and more antsy to get up to Sara's again. When I land a job, fancyin' up my tattoo just because as I've said again and again it is SO important to me and must be perfect, then I'm saving up to go back up there. What’s something that makes you really stressed out? With all this job searching and such going on, it's like all I can think about, so why not mention what fucked me up at my previous ones: Putting me in a position of responsibility and expected knowledge. Ex., when I was a sales associate and was asked "Oh, do you have this?"/"Where is this?", it was CONSTANT PANIC MODE because I never knew and had to ask somebody, when I was expected to be a knowledgeable employee to the customer, and then comes the horror of feeling like I'm inconveniencing and annoying them. Have any particular standard look you look for in a significant other? I don't have a "standard look," no, but I am more likely to be drawn to a gothic appearance. But I don't actively search for someone that meets that criteria or anything. Do you listen to Wiz Khalifa? No. What are your opinions on marijuana legalization? Please legalize medicinal use already. Recreationally, idk. Do you date outside your own race? I'd have no reservations against it. I dated a Hispanic... less than a day, but still, you get the point that I don't have a problem with it. What are some of your turn-offs? SEXIST/MISOGYNISTIC, too old-fashioned, racist and/or homophobic, raunchy, arrogant/self-centered, lack of sincere interest and enthusiasm in conversation, poor hygiene, I'm gonna get SHIT ON for saying "too slutty," not taking dating seriously... that kinda stuff. I'm so picky. Are you gay, straight, bi, or trans? Bisexual. Are you vegetarian? If not, would you ever consider becoming one? I'm not now, but I hope to return to it after I get to my goal weight... In my few months of vegetarianism, it was proven that my immense pickiness with food was making the diet unhealthy for me, as I was strongly lacking in certain vitamins and such. I'm going to have to somehow overcome that if I want to return to it, which I REALLY do want to do the more and more I get into animal welfare and care. Are you in love? Yes. Are you more of a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimist, I think, out of the two. But I like to see myself as a realist. How much money is in your wallet? Literally just $11 lmao. What’s your favorite sex position? Only experienced in these with a man, so answering with that in mind. I like sitting on his lap, facing him, with my legs around his back. What do you ultimately wish for in life? Happiness and peace. Have you ever been pregnant? No. What do you think about tipping at restaurants? Tip your goddamn waiter/waitress, assholes. I do believe in tipping based on the quality of service, BUT at least give them SOMETHING for working. Do you have your driver’s license? No jkajdsklfaj;wer. I haaaave to practice more. Whenever I'm in the car, I always strongly prefer to listen to my music, controlling it from the passenger's seat, and at least right now, I can't drive with loud music, barely any at all really, so I have a hard time giving up blaring my music while Mom drives lmao. Have you ever passed out from drinking? No. What’s your favorite carnival food? Idk, I don't go nearly enough. Who did you last kiss? Romantically, Sara. Platonically, either my niece or nephew when leaving. Have you seen the final Harry Potter movie? I haven't even see one. Ever been called a slut? No. Would you ever have sex with someone not of your preferred sex? I'm bisexual so like- Would you ever get back together with any of your exes? No. Do you take any meds on a daily basis? Yep. What did you do today? Watched LPs as always; did some job searching; played WoW, way shorter than usual though; took a nap; made a new icon; took a shower; listened to music; did some social media scrolling. The usual stuff. What do you wear to bed at home? A tank top and pj pants. What do you wear to bed when you're somewhere else? The same, but with a bra. Is there a place you keep any prized/secret things whilst you’re away? No. Do you have any phobias? What? Why do you think you have this/them? I'll just talk about the unordinary ones, 'cuz I have a lot. The ones I'd consider "weird" are vomiting, whale sharks, and pregnancy. Vomiting is because it's just incredibly unpleasant, but also because I know what goes down is not supposed to come back up. Like no one likes puking, no shit, but I'm legit afraid of it and lock up on what to do when I feel it coming, like I don't know what to do. Whale sharks... ahaha. It literally came from World of Warcraft. The design of their mouths is fucking horrifying, and I hate hate hate how they sometimes phase in-and-out of the Vashj'ir map so just like pOP UP. NAH, SON. It's just their damn mouths, even though I know their esophagus is far too small to swallow a human. As for pregnancy, just... ew. I'm afraid of parasites, and it's a parasitic relationship. Something should NOT be growing inside of you. What skill do you possess that you are most proud of? I'm very compassionate, especially when it comes to others enduring emotional struggles. I really feel for hurting people. What is your greatest strength (e.g. honest, loyal, brave)? I have strong morals and stick to them. I'll always stand up for what I feel is right. What’s your greatest shortcoming or flaw (e.g. cowardly, alcoholic)? Ah jeez, there's a lot... but probably my anxiety. It's held me back and manipulated my actions since middle school. I struggle not followings its rules, but I'm sure trying. Who do you most admire? Mark, my mom, Sara, Sara's dad, Steve Irwin... man, there's too many great people. Who do you most love? Sara, my mom, and my pets, Teddy especially. What three things do you look for most in a partner? EXPRESSING OF THEIR EMOTIONS/TRULY FEELING!!!!!!!!, compassion, and a cool head. If you could ask God (to atheists - IF there was one) one question, what? Hm. Good question... There's a lot, but mostly little wonders; I feel like I have a decent understanding of the god I personally see, so don't have any magnificent questions. Perhaps regarding why they created our world. That'd be interesting. Rate yourself on these traits from 0 to 10: 0 - do not possess this trait. 10 - you have great amounts of this trait. Calm temper: 7. Charm: *big shrug* Cheerfulness: 3-4. Confidence: 0-3. Courtesy: 8-10. Curiosity: 6-10. Forgiveness: 9-10. Generosity: 8-10. Greed: 0-3. Helpfulness: Well, I like to try to help, but I don't feel I'm very successful at that, so idk. Honesty: 5-9, depending on who I'm talking to and what the subject is, I guess. Loyalty: This is very flexible, and I don't feel like I can put a number on it. It depends on how deserving you are of the trait, and yes, you can lose my loyalty in a heartbeat if you give me reason to take it away. Optimism: 0-4. Patience: This can go from a whopping 0 to a 10, lmao. Very dependent on the situation. Self-sacrifice: 8-9. Wit: -10. Briefly describe your family. Kinda broken. Tight bonds scattered between certain people, no bonds with others. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you? The breakup. I wouldn't wish that night upon Satan himself. How did it affect you? We know. Have you ever had any recurring nightmares or themes in nightmares? Speaking of that... Jason is in most nightmares I remember. The common theme is it's either after the breakup and we have an awkward running in with each other, or it's long before when everything was "perfect." All things considered, I'd call even that a nightmare. Those fuck with me the most. Do you currently have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Do you have any close friends? I can count those on maybe two fingers. Of what are you most proud? Letting Jason go. Of what are you most ashamed? I've talked about the Joel situation multiple times. What is your religion? Theist. Where do you stand on abortion? Mostly pro-choice. Where do you stand on the death penalty? Sometimes justifiable and one's deserving end. Felons are lucky enough it's done humanely. Where do you stand on wearing fur? If you're not surviving out in the arctic, fuck you and all you stand for. Could you kill somebody? I'm perfectly aware I could in defense situations. For what reason would you kill somebody? Defending myself or loved ones. Hell, probably even strangers. I'd kill a rapist with zero fucking hesitation, even if they were assaulting someone I'd never seen before. Would you SERIOUSLY CONSIDER killing anybody right now? No. Do you trust easily, or not? NOPE. What, if anything, would you sacrifice your life for? Defending peace, gay rights, or if it was to protect most of those I love. What are your dreams/ambitions/goals? Be a successful photographer, reach financial stability, come to a point where I'm actually proud of what I've done, play a roll in wildlife conservation, be happily married, and just overall be content and satisfied with my life. How do you plan to reach them? Working my goddamn ass off and not taking "no" for an answer (not about the marriage part tho lmao). Do you ever want to have a family someday? With children? No. Who would you want to start this family with, or do you not yet know? I just want a pet family with Sara. What do you see yourself doing next year? Man, I don't have a clue... What do you see yourself doing in twenty years? I don't want to think of that. That's too far ahead. I'll be 43... I've gotta work on too many things now. Would you ever have an affair? I'm very curious as to who would actually answer "yes" to this. Would you ever have a one night stand? No. Lmaoooo actually this is sad as fuck, but I think I've said in a previous survey just knowing myself, if we were both single and clicked, I'd be doomed if it was Markiplier. My morals would sadly go out the window. If you had a month of nothing (no work, no obligations) what would you do? That's literally been the story of my life for years now, especially the past two. And it's torture. Would you ever choose a career or job where your life was at risk? No. Well, actually, I do want to do wildlife photography, and it can be pretty dangerous. Were you present at any major historical events (e.g. 9/11)? No. Do you have any famous relatives? No. Ancestors, yeah, but not close relatives. Are you a loyal member of any organizations? No. What type of criminal would you be? With how forgetful I am, I'm certain I'd be a very clumsy one that gets caught very quickly, lol. What are you listening to right now? "Voices" by Motionless In White. If you had to choose a stripper name, what would it be? Um idk. If your phone started ringing, who would you hope is calling? Someone for a job interview. Do you drink? Rarely and/or for some special occasions. Never enough to get drunk. Do you smoke? No. What is the first thing you notice in someone? I guess posture? How they carry themselves? Do you get attached easily? BOY! DO I!!!!!!!!!!! Do you like your eye color? I wish they were more blue. Would you go bungee jumping/sky diving if given the chance? Definitely not bungee jumping, I know how I react to that kind of up/down movement, and probably not skydiving, either. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Both regularly since middle school. Are looks important in a relationship? Not very. What is your favorite thing to do? Binge a new song I fell in love with for like days lmao. What was the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? PhotoScape. It's easier to move watermarks for photos on there, and I was working on the ones I took a few days back. Do you like to gossip? No, I feel super guilty. What kind of computer do you have? An Acer. Do you know all the words to your national anthem? I think? Have you ever failed a grade? No. Have you ever made the opposite sex cry? Yes. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Nah. Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No. Do you own a designer purse? Hell no. Waste of money for a goddamn purse that's just gonna get dirty and scratched. What’s the weirdest rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself? Jason and I magically had a baby over summer vacation when I was very obviously never pregnant. Do you say the "h" in the word “herb”? No, though I did for a super long time 'cuz I had no idea it was wrong. Do you speak any languages besides English? Not fluently. Can you run in high heels? I wouldn't really know, but boy do I doubt it. Do you have to take stairs or an elevator to get to your house? No. What do you usually order at Subway? Ummm I think white bread, ham, American cheese, bacon, jalapenos, banana peppers, and Chipotle sauce. I think that's it. Did an alarm wake you up this morning? No. How long is your mother’s hair? Past her shoulderblades, near the middle of her back. Is there any particular place you’d like to vacation to next? Surprisingly, I'd love to go somewhere tropical, like Hawaii or some shit like that. Somewhere with clear water and unique, beautiful wildlife and nature. What is your beer of choice, if any? Never tried beer, never want to. The smell is bad enough. That and I associate it with when Dad was an alcoholic. Did you share a bed with anyone last night? No. Well, other than with my cat. Do you know anyone who volunteers regularly? Yes. Have you ever ruined a nice pair of shoes, and how? Maybe, playing in puddles or biking through them and mud as a kid or something. Who were the last friends you went to hang out with? Sara. How many chairs are in the room you’re currently in? None. Have you texted a relative in the past week? Not besides immediate family. Are you doing anything important today? No. If I were to bring you any type of food right now, what would you pick? If I was actually hungry, I have been craving hotdogs on the grill like CRAZY lately. No clue why. When did you move into the house you’re currently living in? April-ish 2017. Do you ever sleep with the light on? No, I can't. Do you pray to Jesus? 20+ years of that did nothing. No. What was the last thing you ordered at Starbucks? N/A Do you have a bonfire pit in your yard? No. Would you consider being homeless if it meant you could travel the world? I don't know; there's lots of factors to consider. Would I be willing to leave my pets (but Teddy, probably; I'd want him with me) with my mom? Would I have something like a camper? Where am I getting this money to travel and provide for myself? Do you know your next-door neighbor? Mom knows one, but I personally don't. What’s something you have never done? Lots of things? As an example, uhhh... I've never done a cartwheel, despite childhood efforts? Name someone you know who is a true risk-taker, adventurer, and free spirit. Do you admire that person? Idk. Do you wish you were more of a free spirit? I think I already am, but it'd be cool to be more of one. Are you allergic to any medications? No. How do you feel when someone says something you’ve experienced doesn’t exist? Tell me depression isn't real, my PTSD isn't genuine, I can "get over" my anxiety if I want to hard enough, stuff like that, and I will not fucking associate with you. These are things that have massively affected my life; I dare someone to tell me these experiences aren't real issues. What worldview do you have? A realistic one, I think. I'm positive in some areas, negative in others. Hm... I'm probably more pessimistic about the world's future, though. Do you have friends who have different religious beliefs than you? Duh? If applicable, who was the first person you “came out” to? Sara. What’s one thing you’d like to do more? Travel. What was your style in high school? Some emo/metalhead hybrid that wished with all her heart to be capable of affording a goth wardrobe and bitch I still do. What’s one thing you are jealous that other people got to do but you didn’t? Have a healthy teenage experience. Have you ever taken birth control pills continuously? I have for years for my cycle. I had just about debilitating cramps and sometimes periods that lasted over a week. Who is your personality twin? Sara is probably the closest. What’s a common name that you hate? Edward, above all. Not a big fan of William, Robert, or Allen, either. Who do you wish you were best friends with? If you don't count my girlfriend as "best friend," maybeeee... Alon still? Or Baylee. I need to talk more to her, she's awesome. Do you own a camera tripod? Yes. Did you ever believe in mermaids? I don't believe so. …in fairies? I believed in the Tooth Fairy. …in Santa? Yes. Have you ever purchased alcohol? Yes. What is your newest hobby? Hm, I don't think I've found a new one for a long while... What gives your life meaning? I don't know. What motivates you to do what you do? The pursuit of happiness. What was the weather like the last time you went out? Too fucking hot. Do you go for walks often? No, though I really want to around a lake at a local, small park. Problems consist of no way to get there myself, it's WAY too fucking hot with my sweating issue, and my knees just wouldn't have it; I know I couldn't walk the full lap around it. Also expect some art installations around the path and probably the gazebo are PokeStops for Pokemon Go and really wish I could play it, so that's bait to do it lmao. What color shirt are you wearing? Pink. What is your favorite type of YouTube video to watch? It really depends on who I'm watching. Favorite on the face of the planet are Mark's ego projects, then my second fave are probably Shane's conspiracy videos, then I love let's plays. Do you need any new clothes right now? I seriously need more pants. And new bras. Do you collect anything? If so, what? Silent Hill merch and meerkat stuff. ^and if not, what would you like to collect? When I can buy shit myself, ya girl is gonna have way too much Markiplier merch. YouTuber stuff in general, actually. Too shy to ask for that kinda stuff now lol. Have you ever experienced a miracle? I don't think so. What was the last thing you ate? A burger. Do you ever eat food that’s intended for kids? ...? Like, baby food? No. Or maybe you mean shit like Lunchables? In cases like that, sometimes? What was the last stupid thing you did? Oh boy, who knows. Do you get embarrassed easily? You. Have. No. Idea. What are your top three names you like for a daughter? Alessandra, then uhhhh... I like Chloe and Adrian. Would you ever film a vlog of yourself giving birth? Hell no. I'd never wanna see it, I'd never want my hypothetical child to have to witness that, etc. Do you like getting caught in the rain? No. Wet clothes are no. Do you think your hair looks best straight, wavy, or curly? Straight, I guess? Though my hair does swoop to the right, so it's kinda a wave? What was the last craft project you completed? Oh, yeesh. I don't do crafts. The closest thing was I guess Sara's Valentine's Day gift for last year? Name 3 YouTubers you would like to meet in person: Markiplier is literally the only one that matters lmao and it's not "would like to meet in person," he will be forced to endure meeting me ok. Meeting Shane Dawson would be amazing, he's such a relatable sweetie, aaaaand #3 would probably be Rhett and/or Link, as similar to Mark, they deserve a tear-filled thanks as well as back-breaking hugs for seriously helping in keeping me alive through my suicidal year. I mean it when I say they genuinely helped me keep going. What color are your nails painted currently? They’re never painted. Do you use a pill box? No. List 3 people you know who were loving and then turned cold: Jason, Jason, and Jason. Have you ever felt threatened for your life? No. Which did you like better: high school or college? My college experience was horrid. High school had great memories, but of course negative ones, too. Which year of your life stands out to you as the most significant so far? 2017. …and why? It was my year of recovery from the breakup. What was the last store you shopped at? I went to Wal-Mart with Mom. I think that was the most recent, anyway. Do you have a favorite pharmacist? No. Do you have a favorite cashier at the grocery store? No. What’s something you discovered recently? I'm a Billie Eilish fan. What makes you more creative? Music. What’s the last magical thing you experienced? YO okay so when my brother and nephew were here, we went to the science museum and into a 360 VR-esque show about astronauts. I got SO nauseous and dizzy, but it was nevertheless extremely cool. What is the theme of your bedroom? It doesn't have a theme. Have you ever lived in a dorm? No. When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? Just tonight! I ordered at a drive-thru myself. Would you rather ride a camel or an elephant? An elephant! Do you want to lose weight? You have no fucking idea. Which insects scare you, if any? Lmao most. Especially rhinoceros beetles, big beetles in general honestly, cockroaches, earwigs, centipedes... like a lot okay. I like observing praying mantises, but I would probably have a fucking heart attack if one was on me. Do you think it’s silly to be afraid of a tiny insect? Well, yeah, though I get the likely survival reason, that being we know many are venomous, so we're naturally averse to them, especially if we don't recognize the type. Were you raised religious? Yes. Have you ever been abused? No, thankfully. Is there a coffee shop you like better than Starbucks? N/A If you could afford to get your hair professionally done, what would you get? Man, I have SO many color combination ideas. If I could get it done in the safest manageable way by a pro, I saw this look once with totally bleached/pure white hair that fades to blood-red tips, and BOY would I get that in a heartbeat. If you had a lot of money, do you think you would use it wisely? I hope so. I think so. The only thing I imagine myself being weak with are tattoos. Do you know any rich people who are very irresponsible? I don't think so... List five careers that you’d like to have: Meerkat biologist, paleontologist, artist, poet, something in wildlife conservation/protection. List five far-out things that you’d like to do before you die: Scuba-dive, I'd LIKE to ride a rollercoaster (far-out for me, trust me), but I know I never will, and uh... idk. Riding a motorcycle would be cool, but that's another thing I hiiighly doubt I'll do. What was your first imaginary friend’s name? I never had one. What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Chance, a cat my mom rescued. She was our very first family pet. She was absolutely incredible. Do you like to go barefoot? Unless I'm in a house, no. Do you like the same colors now that you did as a kid? Yeah. Do you have a YouTube channel? Yeah. Is there someone who stopped talking to you for no reason? Oh, who to begin with? Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank or bitch? "Bitch" more than once. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. Have you ever slow danced with anyone? With Jason, yeah. And I don't think so, but maybe Sara briefly? Have you ever cried in public? Yeah. What would you do if you were pregnant? I don't have a fucking clue. Do you like cuddling? With someone I love. Have you ever cried in school? Yes, but I think I kept it private. Who’s the last person to send you a message on Facebook? A woman whose wedding I'm shooting this Saturday. Have you ever witnessed someone else engaging in a sexual act? Just making out. Where did you get drunk last? N/A What’s your relationship with the last person you texted? She's my girlfriend. If someone went through your pictures, would they find a dirty one? No. How did you do on the last test you took? I haven't been in school for a long time. How come you’re not going out with the person you love? I am.