#they want your money

[sarcasticsra]

PSA: if you wear a bra

You're probably wearing the wrong size. Most people are.

This is a screenshot of the bra company Pepper's size guide. Let's take a look at this, shall we?

Hmm, a 25-26" underbust and a 29-30" bust... sized as a 30A.

No. This is not how bra-sizing works. The band ought to match or be fairly close to the underbust measurement. It HAS to be, to provide any support and to be comfortable. Because, yes, bras can be quite comfortable! In the correct size. A band that is too big is going to ride up and shift and rub and move and be awful. A cup that is too small is going to squeeze your tissue into the band, making it feel tighter, and painful, because now your band is pressed into breast tissue.

Bra sizes are a ratio. The letter by itself is meaningless. There is no such thing as "an A cup" or "a D cup." Both A and D cups look vastly different on different bands. "Size DD+" as a bra size category is similar to a shoe store with a "size 6+" category, except worse, because shoe size really is generally only determined by one number. "DD+" being all the information you're going on to determine a bra size would be like answering the question, "How far away is that?" with, "Five." Minutes? Hours? Miles? Blocks? There's a whole range of things that could mean!

The letters correspond (roughly--people don't come in 2-inch increments) to inches of difference between the under and over bust measurement. So going back to our supposed "30A" up there... let's assume a 26" underbust and a 30" bust. 30 is 4 more inches than 26.

A: 1 inch, B: 2 inches, C: 3 inches, D: 4 inches.

Yes, that's correct. That person Pepper is trying to shove into a 30A should be wearing a 26D. A 30A bra would be for someone with a rough underbust measurement of 30 inches and a rough bust measurement of 31 inches. 1 inch difference. Whereas the 26D is for 26 under, 30 over. Notice how the 26D is actually a SMALLER total circumference than the 30A? Cup size scales with band size.

The reason this company pisses me off in particular is because if they wanted to be a niche "smaller boobs" bra company, there is a HUGE untapped market in people who need sub-32 bands. A few carry 30s and 28s but good luck if you need a 26 or 24. And they could help more people get into PROPERLY fitted bras, instead of tossing them into matrix sizes and pretending they're special.

I saw this on their website: "The industry designs for 36C. We design for AA, A, and B."

YOU CANNOT DESIGN FOR CUP SIZE INDEPENDENT OF BAND SIZE.

Also, the industry designs for fucking no one. The industry calls "A cups" small and "D cups" large, tosses out 32-40 in bands and A-DD in cup sizes and calls it good.

DD is five inches of difference between under bust and bust. 5 inches on a person with a 30-inch underbust is going to look MUCH different than 5 inches on a person with a 38-inch underbust. A circle with a total circumference of 43 inches is MUCH larger than a circle with a total circumference of 35 inches.

If you wear bras, and you want to make your life infinitely better, I beg, plead, urge you to go to abrathatfits.org and do the calculator. (Particularly if you've always been sized as an A or B cup, because those are actually very rare true sizes on any band.) The calculator actually takes into account 6 measurements, because for some people a leaning bust measurement is more important than a standing one. Believe the calculator. It will almost certainly give you a band size smaller than you expect and a cup size much larger than you expect. It's not perfect, so it's a good idea to try a cup larger and smaller, too, but it's generally very close. Try different sizes in the same bra--and NOT a t-shirt bra or any bra with molded/formed cups. almost no one properly fits those. Look for an unlined, seamed bra. Go by UK sizing, and stick to the UK brands. (Bare Necessities carries a bunch of them.) US bras are horribly inconsistent, especially in larger cup sizes. UK brands also generally have a far larger size range.

Any time you try on a bra, be sure to "scoop and swoop" to ensure ALL of the breast tissue fits into the cup. A big issue with ill-fitting bras is breast tissue that migrated to the armpit. You ever notice a little bulge on the side at the top of the band under your arm? There's a good chance that's actually displaced breast tissue.

Also check out The Irish Bra Lady on Instagram. She has tons of posts showing what properly fitted bras look like, in a wide range of sizes. If you're really in doubt about the size the calculator gives you, check her account first, she probably has a picture of someone in that size or close. It's helpful sometimes to see what it actually looks like.

Unfortunately, size is only one aspect of a well-fitting bra. Shape is equally important. Some bras have taller cups, some have shorter, which work better for different root sizes. There's fullness, is it mostly on the top or bottom? Even? Horizontally? Close set, wide set? Projected, shallow?

Go through all the resources at the abrathatfits subreddit. They have tons and tons of information to help determine your shape, what bras might work best for you, and the commenters are incredibly helpful if you need to make a post to ask a question.

I'm not going to lie, it took me probably 6-9 months to find a bra that fits? I have to buy mine from Poland. It was a bit of an ordeal.

But now? Now, I think about my bra exactly twice per day: once when I put it on in the morning and once when I take it off in the evening. I don't notice it. It doesn't shift. It doesn't poke. My straps aren't cutting into my shoulders or falling off them. I'm not constantly "reseating" my boobs. It turns out they stay put just fine if you give them a seat they actually fit into.

Finding a well-fitting bra is up there with medication and regular exercise in terms of its contribution to my quality of life. It's confusing, and there's a LOT, but it is SO fucking worth it.

You know that TIkTok trend question that's all, "if you HAD to start talking about one topic for 30+ minutes straight, what would you talk about?"

Yeah.

I will spend the rest of my life shouting all of this from the rooftops. Bras can be comfortable! It's actually true!

[callmebabygirll0]

dm me with your paypal or cashapp to get spoiled with weekly allowances♥️♥️

My Paypal is mina0097 but you're gonna do the fake tactics and try to get money anyway

[frenzyarts]

I'm not going to buy your art if you're going to reblog cringe.

This is one of the funniest asks I’ve ever gotten I don’t even know how to respond

You’re ON the cringe website. Do you also get mad when you open a book and words are inside

[kat]

so paramount has added "heartthrob" shirts to the official star trek merch site. there are only a few options, and i would love to know how they decided which characters to feature. like what market research was conducted. who did they ask. i'm not saying they're wrong though bc here are the two deep space nine ones:

[marzipanandminutiae]

thoughts on "tradwives" as a 19th-century social historian

It's great until it's not.

It's great until he develops an addiction and starts spending all the money on it.

It's great until you realize he's abusive and hid it long enough to get you totally in his power (happened to my great-great-aunt Irene).

It's great until he gets injured and can't work anymore.

It's great until he dies and your options are "learn a marketable skill fast" or "marry the first eligible man you can find."

It's great until he wants child #7 and your body just can't take another pregnancy, but you can't leave or risk desertion because he's your meal ticket.

It's great until he tries to make you run a brothel as a get-rich-quick scheme and deserts you when you refuse, leaving your sisters to desperately fundraise so your house doesn't get foreclosed on (happened to my great-great-aunt Mamie).

It's great until you want to leave but you can't. It's great until you want to do something else with your life but you can't. It's great. Until. It's. Not.

I won't lie to you and say nobody was ever happy that way. Plenty of women have been, and part of feminism is acknowledging that women have the right to choose that sort of life if they want to.

But flinging yourself into it wholeheartedly with no sort of safety net whatsoever, especially in a period where it's EXTREMELY easy for him to leave you- as it should be; no-fault divorce saves lives -is naive at best and dangerous at worst.

Have your own means of support. Keep your own bank account; we fought hard enough to be allowed them. Gods willing, you never need that safety net, but too many women have suffered because they needed it and it wasn't there.

[meiloorun-notthefruit]

The Scooby gang are friends. The Scooby gang are BEST FRIENDS. THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH. THEY TRAVEL AROUND SOLVING MYSTERIES FOR AS LONG AS THEY CAN BECAUSE THEY HAVE A PASSION FOR IT AND BECAUSE IT MEANS THEY GET TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER WITH EACH OTHER. THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS.

They don’t hate each other. Maybe they get annoyed and cause they’re together all the time it might get a bit much sometimes but at the end of the day, they really deeply care about each other. They live out of a van most of the time and are on the road constantly out of CHOICE. TOGETHER. for crying out loud.

They are four teenagers and a Great Dane. They’re a family.

[thatfrenchacademic]

Got once again told that I was "good at making conversation" and had "people and communication skills"

and that is the biggest lie I ever heard

so a girl will end up writing some sort of "practical guide to making conversation, by a recovering agoraphobic".

But also. If you need a "how to people when no social skills" guide right now, my absolute no bullshit guide is The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook (2018, 3rd ed), esp chap 8 and 10. Includes: how long is appropriate to look at someone in the eyes? What are good conversation topics for your neighbors, your colleagues, your boss, your date? How to safely practice social skills/conversation? How to handle shaking/blushing/sweating/nervous stuttering? How is talking to a group different from talking to one person? How to gracefully end a conversation? How to ask for a change at your work schedule? How to start getting better at it *progressively* without being overwhelmed?

It's not a feel good self help/self improvement book, it is not a magic remedy with secret formula, it is more of a "let's learn a new language", with homework and notes to take. Give it a try, it is very easy to find it online

[prussianmemes]

arguing with a friend over not all zoomers abandoning normal wallets. i love my george costanza oversized dad wallet. how could you not love a pocket office...

let me hear your wisdom in notes!!!

[inacatastrophicmind]

Nashcon / JIBcon

[desolationlesbian]

I am never inclined to make fun of tumblr's cheesy attempts to make money and generally support them even if you consider them cringe. Websites need money to operate and tumblr needs to find a way to make money consistently or it will cease to exist. I do not want tumblr to cease to exist, and the most common alternative method of making money is to collect and sell all of our personal data, which I do not want either. Websites that can support themselves via people willing to spend $25 bucks to commit to a bit is a sign of a brighter and more sustainable version of the internet.

[formaldehydefce]

[lazylittledragon]

do i have to post an in-depth tutorial on how i make my frappes at home if it'll get people to stop going to fucking starbucks

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

[emositecc]

And that's why mails from Hell are banned.

[PLEASE DO NOT DUB THIS COMIC!!]

[mean-vampyre]

One last thing but it's also baffling to see people go like "i hope it's not true, I support the victims but we need to believe in innocent until proven guilty" about the man that admitted having a relationship with women aged 20-23 when he was 40+. Surely a man in that kind of power imbalance relationship could only be up to good things and there is nothing weird about a pattern of seeking relationship with employees/fans

[chalkrub]

do you think it’s a friendly wolf