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baconpal · 4 years

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pokemon rant time

this one’s about the 2 new things, and is at least slightly intended for people actually excited/interested in them, click keep reading or perish

Gonna try and keep stuff short cus there's a lot of topics this time and I've already gone off about how pokemon Isn't meant for me or meant to be a good video game anymore, but gamefreak is right back on their bullshit, so I feel I need to at least point it out.

I'd like to preface all this with, if you are a fan of pokemon still, please realize you can ask for more out of this series. Expect perfection, even if you don't think you'll get it anytime soon. Pokemon won't go anywhere, the old games won't go anywhere, and gaming is a hobby, not a necessity; don't accept low quality products from a company just because you feel like you're supposed to.

With this next wave of pokemon games, gamefreak is clearly testing how little they can put in to a $60 game while still keeping the 2 major audiences they've cultivated. By responding to the most obvious and vocal complaints from the community, gamefreak is aiming to make games that seems like what most players want, without having to put in the work on quality products.

GEN 4 REMAKES Pokemon BS (I am not calling this shit BDSP) is intended for the audience that put up with let's go and RS remakes. The most vocal and obvious complaints for these games is their failure as definitive versions of the games they are remakes of, such as missing features/content, or drastically changed story/dialogue/style. In a way, the recent remakes are inferior versions of incredibly old games, which shows a lack of improvement in pokemon as a whole.

To address these issues, BS is very, very, VERY clearly aiming for a more 1-to-1 recreation of the DS games, but with fully 3d graphics. Clearly the map layout has been transferred exactly, and gen 4 already had mostly 3d environments to begin with, and everyone knows about the future-proof pokemon models at this point, so the amount of effort required to create something like this is absolutely minimal. Assuming dialogue, trainer teams, move lists, etc. are also lifted directly from DP, then this game could be developed in basically no time at all, leaving the team time to ensure the product is of decent quality and includes ALL of the content of the originals, if not more, like the earlier pokemon remakes did to ensure they were truly definitive versions of the games. That being said, it is unlikely the team behind BS has been making use of this saved time to improve the game.

One failing already clear is that the quality is not very good, at least graphical quality. The footage we have shows environments lacking in color compared to the original, with messy, unpleasant textures that contrast poorly with the simplistic environments. The characters especially do not work. As cute and fun the fanart of tiny dawn has been, BS dawn and all other characters look awful. They have gorilla arms that reach down to the floor and lifeless faces, as well as incredibly stiff/simplistic animations. As it stands, BS is a visually inferior game to DP, though most consumers will simply see it as 3D>2D without any understanding of what an artstyle is, so this might not be a problem for many, but that doesn't mean you should accept it.

What remains to be seen is what content will be added/missing from pokemon BS. It is very possible that massive parts of the game, such as the underground, variety of online modes, postgame areas, and content from platinum could be missing entirely. We also do not know if pokemon from after gen 4 will be worked into the region, or even supported. Gen 8 still currently does not support a large number of pokemon, and the remakes may continue this limited dex trend.

Even assuming the remake includes everything from the DS games and doesn't add anything that slows down the story or harms the experience, it will still only be an exercise in forced obsolescence. The main reason people can't really play DP still is that the online isn't supported anymore. If BS turns out to be exactly the same as DP, then you're buying the same game for at a higher price, only to play it until the online service goes away again, or the next game comes out, if both don't happen at the same time.

Don't let yourself buy a 13 year old game at twice the original price.

GEN 4 NOT-REMAKE KIND OF NEW THING On to legends now, gamefreak is targeting the people who put up with sun/moon and sword/shield. The obvious problem with those games to most people was simply a lack of change from the standard pokemon formula. Even when changing the gyms to trials or stadiums, most people still understand that the format and story structures are mostly unchanged. Of course, this problem has seemingly been addressed by changing the game structure a fair bit, but almost entirely by removal.

Trainer battles, and by extension, gyms and tournaments/elite 4 have been confirmed to be absent, meaning all battles are only vs single pokemon, in spite of the player likely having a team of 6 pokemon. Even if battle difficulty is increased to compensate (doubtful), this will still drastically increase the simplicity of combat and make it even less likely for the game to include any meaningful challenge. Exploring towns and meeting NPCs is also seemingly missing, as the game is confirmed to have only a single village, which frankly looks incredibly boring and we've yet to see a single NPC inhabiting the village.

Battles now use an ATB format instead of a turn-based format (for those of you who don't know what that means, it basically means nothing, it's still turn based, it just means the speed state determines who gets more turns instead of who goes first, that's it), but beyond that there seems to be no noteworthy changes, pokemon learn 4 moves with limited PP, type advantage will still definitely be the most important aspect to battle, and the player being able to walk around during battle provides no meaningful impact. While the little dash the pokemon do to approach each other is cool, it is already a sign that gamefreak will not be addressing the issue of lacking animations for pokemon battles, as they can't even be assed to animate and program pokemon walking around the environment during combat, and lucario doing 1 kick for a move described as a series of punches isn't a great sign either.

On the topic of lacking animations, the new "pet simulator feature" for legends seems to be an advancement on the ride system from sun/moon, which presumably people missed from sword/shield. Being able to ride on your pokemon to do stuff sounds cool, but in all likelihood, this system will be limited to only a select few pokemon who will each do a select few actions, and is not a reasonable replacement for all the other pet raising features that have been removed in the past. Similar to BS, the total number of pokemon included may also be limited arbitrarily, in spite of the fact that no new pokemon need to be added, as these games are not claiming to be a new generation.

The largest issues I personally have with this new game is the horrible technical quality and gameplay quality shown in the initial trailer. Unfortunately, these types of problems seem to be difficult to explain to the average consumer, even though the issues seem incredibly obvious and inexcusable to people like me. Most people were able to understand the problem with the berry trees in gen 8, because it was easy to explain, "this tree doesn't look like the other trees, and it sticks out, isn't that weird?", and so gamefreak has eliminated any immediately obvious issues like that, sticking with a very consistent artstyle for legends, making it almost impossible to easily explain its faults to the average pokemon fan.

People have been really quick to compare legends to BoTW; the game that invented grass, trees, and mountains. In spite of these comparisons, nobody seems to point out that legends looks dramatically worse than that almost 5 year old game from the previous generation. Plants are stiff and lacking in energy, draw distances are poor, colors are drab, and textures are messy. Many parts of legends seems to ape BoTW on just the surface, essentially just following market trends. Even the controls seem to follow after modern 3rd person shooters/stealth games, including a seemingly pointless roll and a clunky looking ball lobbing arc that feels unfun before even getting to play it myself.

The largest issue, painfully obvious to some, and impossible to explain to others, is the framerate. The trailer clearly was ran on actual switch hardware, and not prerendered, which would be a good mark for gamefreak if it didn't result in a trailer that never once hit 30fps. Even with empty fields, with only 1 or 2 characters on screen, the game was incapable of meeting the target speed, and had to resort to optimizations like reducing the frame rate of pokemon only inches away from the player to stop-motion levels of choppy. If situations with almost nothing going on result in slow-down, how will the game perform during actual gameplay? Even though slow-down is something everyone can feel, many people aren't capable of identifying it.

The major things to wait and see for legends is if the removed aspects of the series are made up for by some additional systems or content, and definitely wait to see if the performance improves. As with BS, preordering a game like this only shows that gamefreak only has to market the game by saying it's different, not improved, like they've been doing for years now.

TL;DR FUCK GAMEFREAK One major thing of note is that gamefreak is releasing 2 games based on gen 4 at the nearly the same time, meaning they have no obligation to design new pokemon or even include pokemon not from sinnoh, and also that the sales of each game can be used as an indicator for which of their 2 audiences is more loyal to them. Both BS and Legends are in a position to be pushes aside if they fail, but if either succeeds, gamefreak can continue in the direction of the more successful game and reap the benefits, without any need to innovate, improve, or adapt to criticism.

The last thing I feel I have to remind people about is that gamefreak is a company; you don't need to be "grateful" to them. I've seen that word thrown around far too much by people who seem to buy pokemon games like its a tax, and not something they want to do. You don't have to suck up to a company that made games you liked as a kid if the games aren't what you want anymore. Pokemon is so wildly successful that it can't possible die, so don't buy the games out of pity, or out of some feeling of obligation. Buy the video games you want to play and nothing more.

Basically, if you are considering getting any of these new games, please wait until the games are out before purchasing them, and decide for yourself if they are worth your money, and more importantly, your time. Preordering these games only lets gamefreak know their audience will buy and put up with anything. They have no real competition at the moment, so the only thing the audience can do to encourage improvement is show some of restraint.

#juvenile rant #pokemon #if you read all that then good job cus jesus that got long #please just respect yourself #you deserve better games #you arent weird for wanting things to be good #anyway have a good night

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madeofitzits · 5 years

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In honor of the impending return of Brooklyn 99, here are 99 reasons that...

1. He was precocious enough to know, at 5 years old, that he wanted to change his name (x)

2. He has a bunch of nicknames: Sandy Amberg, Young Sandwich, etc. but the most endearing one is 'Droidy', his family's name for him (x)

3. He is still super close friends with people he's known since: Elementary School (Chelsea Peretti) (x)...

4. Junior High/High School (Kiv and Jorm) (x)

5. … Summer Camp (Irene Neuwirth) (x)

7. ...and Film School (Chester Tam) (x)

8. Before he met Joanna, he dated other famous ladies but - out of respect - he never discussed it/them (x)

9. He loves turtles and tortoises. When he was a kid, he had a pet turtle that he named 'Squirt' because the first time he held it, it peed on him. His Mom, Margie, accidentally killed Squirt when Andy was at Summer camp... (x)

10. … Maybe this is why, when shooting 'Popstar', Andy fell hard for Maximus (Conner 4 Real's turtle). He says they "had a good thing going" and that he wanted to adopt him. In the end, he decided against it because there are a bunch of coyotes in his neighborhood and he was worried the little guy wouldn't be safe. (Popstar: DVD Commentary)

11. Speaking of his Mom, despite being a super private person, he appeared on 'Finding your Roots' so that he could help her track down her birth family (x)

12. When he succeeded he cried (although we never got to see it on camera) (x)

13. That's because, like all good boys, he loves his Mama which is why - as part of the same episode - he said "My mom is basically the kindest person I know… and many people would corroborate that" (x)

14. Andy's Sisters, Hannie (Johanna) and Darrow, used to make him wear diapers and put his hair in pigtails until he was 5 years old. He says he didn't mind because he just liked that they were paying attention to him (x)

15. That's why he sees his identity in comedy as being 'America's kid brother'. When he was young, he would annoy his sisters until they laughed and he claims to have been replicating that approach to entertainment ever since

16. Although a bunch of his characters have 'Daddy Issues', Andy definitely doesn't. He's super close with his Papa (Joe) and has said "he's a good man" and "the best Dad in the world" (x)

17. Joe was Andy's youth soccer coach and in one scene in 'Hot Rod', Joe's favorite photograph can be seen in the background. It shows a very young Andy posing with a soccer ball, after "scoring the winning goal against Mersey" (x)

18. He's been a loyal Golden State Warriors fan since he was a little kid, living in Oakland (then Berkeley) and, in 2010, he correctly predicted that they would "win a Championship in my lifetime" (x)

19. The proceeds from his Umami Burger ('The Samburger') went to a deafness early detection program in Berkeley. This cause is close to his heart because Margie uses hearing aids and used to work in the special needs program, teaching deaf kids (x)

20. He, Kiv, and Jorm have made multiple donations to their old school district, including $250 000 to its theater program (x)

21. On the subject of The Lonely Island; Andy always goes out of his way to make sure that everyone knows how much he owes to his buddies. For instance, he told Marc Maron, during his WTF appearance, that "I get a lot of credit for what Kiv and Jorm have done" (x)

22. He makes this face when he knows he’s said something naughty…

(Gif credit: @andrewsambags)

23. During his 'Wild Horses' appearance, he said that he can't watch scary movies because they freak him out too much. He told 'Complex' that he's still scared of 'The Shining' (x)...

24. … Similarly, when he was at UC Santa Cruz he worked at the Del Mar movie theater and he had a hard time coping with screenings of 'Species 2' (x)

25. He fell in love with Joanna, the moment he met her, when she greeted him by addressing him as 'Steve the C**t' (x)

26. He listened to 'Ys', everyday for a year, before he and Joanna started dating (x)

27. He bought the original portrait that was used as the basis of the cover art for 'Ys' and gave it to Joanna as a Christmas present, so that she could hang it in her music room (x)

28. He loves birds and goes hiking and birding with Joanna (x)

29. Every new comment he makes about Joanna becomes an instant contender for 'most beautiful thing a person has ever said about their spouse' (x)

30. For example, he readily admits that Jake's iconic heart eyes are the result of him thinking about his amazing wife (x)

31. There are many stories about how incredibly romantic Andy and Joanna's wedding was and Jorm has said that it featured "the most magical vows I've ever heard" (x)

32. The Newsombergs now live in Charlie Chaplin's old house (x)

33. On the Emmys Red Carpet (2015), the year he hosted, they took a momentary break from posing for the world's press to whisper 'I love you' to each other (x)

34. At last year's Vanity Fair party, Andy carried Joanna's purse for her so she could grab a snack (x)

35. He was a semi-permanent fixture in the audience for her recent run of shows for the 'Strings/Keys Incident' tour, even officially confirming his status as the 'President of her Fan Club' (x)

36. He used his Golden Globes monologue to call out the government for framing and murdering the Black Panthers (x)

37. On the Carpet for the Guy's Choice Awards, he called the event "a ridiculous farce", adding that "men already have it so easy - it's insane that there's a show that celebrates them". That makes sense when you consider that he, Kiv and Jorm have made an entire career out of parodying toxic masculinity (x)

38. He once said that only "idiot-ass men" think that women aren't funny (x)

39. He’s been wearing glasses since 7th Grade and he has the most heartbreakingly cute habit of nudging them up his nose, (especially when he wears his Sol Moscot frames) (x)...

40. ... and of rubbing his eyes under them (x)

41. He barely ever wears glasses for roles but he also avoids contacts (because he doesn't like touching his eyeballs) which means he's almost always 'acting blind' (x)

42. He has worn his glasses in character a few times - as 'himself' ('Lady Dynamite'), as 'Paul' ('I Think You Should Leave') and during a very small number of SNL sketches (e.g. during his one appearance in a 'Gilly' with Kristen Wiig) (x)

43. He can't tolerate glare and when that makes him squint it's a sight that's too cute for words (x)

44. He owns about six outfits and has been rotating them for well over a decade (x)

45. He barely ever breaks during shooting/while performing, so when he does it's aggressively adorable. (x), (x)

46. He's a grown ass man who persuades people to come with him to the bathroom because if he goes by himself he'll get lonely (x)

47. He didn't announce he was leaving SNL, until after his last appearance, selflessly choosing not to detract from Kirsten Wiig's huge and emotional send-off (x)

48. He undertook a quest to smell like Lorne Michaels (x)

49. He's ageing like a fine wine (x)

50. To protect their daughter's privacy, Andy and Joanna never announced that they were expecting. They've never released their little girl's name or date of birth and most news outlets still report that they became parents in August 2017 (even though that's inaccurate) (x)

51. Although he's careful not to talk about his daughter often, sometimes he can't keep from gushing about her. For example, when asked about his first year of fatherhood he said: "It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful" (x)

52. After their daughter was born, Andy and Joanna spent the first 40 days at home with her (in a practice known as 'confinement'). He's described it as being "a really special time". (x)

53. Andy is famously mild-mannered but, when asked about what triggers his 'Dad claws', he admitted that if anyone attempted to touch his daughter, without permission, he'd "probably sock them hard in the face"…

54. ...Characteristically, he went on to add that he hopes that never happens, since he hasn't been in a fight since 6th Grade (x)

55. Cyndi Lauper was his first celebrity crush and he plays her record ('She's so unusual') for his daughter all the time. (x)

56. His is the very definition of a precious laugh (x)...

57. It's made even more wonderful by the way it makes his voice go high-pitched (x)

58. … and the way it causes his eyebrow to rise involuntarily

59. It's impossible not to smile at his impression of his Mom (x)

60. And laugh at his impression of John Mulaney (x)

61. He was so convinced he wouldn't win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, that he didn't prepare a speech. Instead, as he explained to David Letterman, he "just went… and started drinking". The resulting list of improvised 'thank yous' was perfect in every way (x)

62. As producers, Andy, Kiv and Jorm have given life to some amazing projects ('Alone Together', 'Brigsby Bear', 'I Think You Should Leave')...

63. … and gone out of their way to support women in comedy ('Party Over Here', 'PEN15') (x)

64. As well as being a comedy legend, he's a super-talented dramatic actor, who gave the performance of a lifetime in 'Celeste and Jesse Forever' but, after the movie wrapped, and it was time to do press for it, he was straight back to goofing around (x)

65. His lip bite should be illegal (x)

66. Even though he wears the same vanishingly small number of outfits, over and over, he has a vast collection of the most excellent socks (x)

67. He always gives 'editing notes' during his own interviews (x)

68. He has a super sweet and sincere way of thanking interviewers when they compliment him (x)

69. He adjusts his hoodie constantly (x)

70. The two most perfect Jake laughs in b99 are actually real Andy laughs 'https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W38A_xuXaeg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVm9nYrTWRQ

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71. Virtually everyone who has ever worked with Andy has talked about what a wonderful person he is. This explains why so many of them have been involved with more than one of his projects (x)

72. It's not only his colleagues who talk about what a delight he is (x), (x)

73. This lovestruck fool wore his own wife's merch when he went out to dinner (x)

74. No one else uses the word 'dinky' quite like Andy (x). The same goes for 'snacky' (see point 70)

75. He does this with his tongue (x)

76. He still likes to play soccer but his eyesight is so bad that he has to keep his glasses on for it

77. When he lets his gorgeous floofy hair grow a little it sits perfectly over the arms of his glasses (x)

78. He gifted the world with Jakey's little curl (x)

79. At the James Franco Roast, he couldn't bring himself to be mean to anyone except himself (and Jeff Ross, a little!) (x)

80. In fact, he's always been willing to laugh at himself (x) and he still is (x)

81. He changes b99 scripts to make them more feminist (x)

82. Despite their humble insistence that they just benefited from 'good timing', the reality is that Andy, Kiv and Jorm (along with Chris Parnell) revolutionized digital media, when 'Lazy Sunday' popularized YouTube, increasing its traffic by 85% overnight (x)

83. He once attended the Vanity Fair party because his Mom told him to (x)

84. He has an amazing way of subtly but firmly shutting down inappropriate questions, like when this interviewer suggested that Holt being gay was something that could have been played for laughs https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

85. He auditioned for SNL at the same time as Bill Hader. Hader thought he'd blown it because Andy had a bunch of props and Bill had none. In the meantime, Andy thought he'd blown it when he saw Hader and realized 'this guy doesn't need any props' (x)

86. His bromance with Seth Meyers is one for the ages (x)

87. Every single second of this video is proof of why Andy, Kiv and Jorm deserve the world (x)

88. He once dragged Mulaney up on stage for SNL Goodnights, even though writers weren't allowed to join in (x)

89. He has a hilarious phobia of pooping anywhere except his own bathroom (x)

90. His beautiful, beautiful, face: His smile (radiant), his eyes (caramel - hella disarming), his ears (adorably asymmetrical), his nose (perfect), His chin (the dimple… *swoon*), his jaw (could cut glass), The 'Sambeard' (another amazing layer of pretty) (x)

91. His body: His butt (x), his thighs, (x) his soft lil tummy (The ‘Sambelly’) (x), his hands. (x), his arms (x), his hips…

(Gif credit: @amystiago /@badpostandy on Twitter)

92. All signs point to the fact that, like Jake, Andy uses his glasses case as a wallet (x)

93. Jake's "cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool" is an irl Andy-ism that the writers worked into b99 scripts. What's even better is that Joanna does it, too (x)

94. He has a really good arm and is low key competitive, which is super hot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e32K_nBDy3Q

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95. He's one half of the cutest Red Carpet pose of all time (x)

96. He barely ever seems to get mad but if angry Jake is anything to go by, maybe he should... (x)

97. He's a huge nerd, who geeks out over GOT, LOTR, 'Star Wars', 'Alien(s)' and anything relating to time travel (x), (x)

98. He has a gorgeous speaking voice, especially when he’s tired or a little sick. (Bonus points for any time he uses the word ‘correct’. See point 30) (x)

99. He’s still so committed to his b99 fans and fam, even after all this time and is as excited as the rest of us that...

#99 reasons to love #andy samberg #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #a masterpost for the best boy there is

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yourperfectflaws · 4 years

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HYDRA’s Pet ; 01

Pairing: James Bunchan Barnes x HYDRA!Reader, Avengers x Reader (Platonic/ Familial)

Series Summary: As HYDRA’s favorite experiment, you were trained to follow orders perfectly. But, when you’re taken from the only home you’d ever known by the Avengers, you find yourself more lost than ever. However, out of all the things that could have happened to you, you’d never expected him to be one of them.

Chapter Summary: Your sexy ass is training a new unit when the Avengers find the base.

Warnings: Includes violence, adult language

Word Count: 1.7k

Author’s Note: It’s good to read the Prologue but I’m gonna try and make the series work without it. (Also this chapter was so goddamn hard to write for some reason) Also bUckY wiLL bE hErE sOoN I ProMiSe!!!

Anything italicized is in Russian (cuz my dumbass don’t speak Russian and I’m not about to use google translate and then put the translations at the end when half of them aren’t even correct it’s just a waste of time and effort)

Prologue // Next Chapter

January 16th, 2017 ; HYDRA Base

Crack!

The loud smack of Juno’s ruler echoes around the rusty training room. You squinted as you sparred with your opponent, a young redheaded girl two doors down from you. She shrieked at the noise, unfamiliar with Juno’s teaching strategies, which gave you an opening.

You closed the gap between the two of you and gave her a swift punch to the cheek. She flew to the side of the ring but got up quickly and you both went back to circling each other. She attempted to throw a punch at you but you blocked it by grabbing her wrist and sending a swift kick to her abdomen.

She cried out and fell to the floor, attempting to scramble back up but you kicked her square in the face to knock her down again. She was conscious but didn’t try to get back up.

Crack!

Juno’s ruler again. She stepped into the ring and gave a small glance to the girl before sizing you up. “Since she isn’t learning from me, maybe she will learn from you.” She pushed your chest as you stood there blankly. She turned away from you and roughly pulled the girl up. “She will be vital to HYDRA’s regime, as you are. Don’t try to make this any more difficult than it is, soldier.”

Juno turned back to you and folded her toned arms over her chest. “If you can’t even teach her the basics then you’ll be put in the chamber.”

You couldn’t help the grimace of fear that streaked onto your face when she mentioned the chamber. It pained you to remember spending time in there. You knew you were forbidden from reading the thoughts of a superior like Juno but you couldn’t help but sense her anger and frustration as she spat in your face.

“I will be back in two hours.” Juno turned to the redheaded girl and sneered. “You will spar again to show me what you have learned, runt.”

You stood still as she left the room, the door groaning as it closed behind her. As soon as she was gone, you relaxed and walked over to the girl, who was shivering in the corner of the ring, and extended your hand to her. She took it hesitantly. Big mistake. You pulled her arm up and around, pushing her to the ground and holding her in place. She shrieked in pain. Her mind was a panic, a jumble of thoughts that were all too easily read.

“I am going to give you rules and you are going to listen.” She nodded her head frantically. Desperation. “Rule one, do not let your guard down. Always be attentive of your opponent. You already failed.”

You let her go and she scrambled away from you, standing up quickly. She held her fists awkwardly in front of her. Feeling her insecurity, you sighed as you sized her up. “You have no balance. You’re skinny, no muscle, and you’re slow. Your posture is horrible and whatever you’re doing right now is completely wrong.”

You marched up to her and pushed her fists in the correct position. “Spread your legs shoulder width, eyes up— you always want to be looking straight at your opponent— and straighten your back and shoulders.” You moved in front of her to examine her stance. It wasn’t perfect but it was better than what she was originally doing. “Now punch me.”

She stared at you for a second, feeling surprised, before throwing the weakest punch you had ever seen at your face. You blocked it and sighed, pushing her fist away. “No, that was weak. Don’t be afraid to hurt your opponent and use all of your strength. Exhale sharply with each punch and drive your elbow rather than your fist into each punch. Try again.”

She made another attempt to punch you, with you blocking it again, and this time it was decent enough to do some damage. You nodded your head. “That was better.” She felt an emotion you couldn’t describe. “This time try moving around and actually hitting me. If you can do that I will give you a water break.”

It takes her a while before she figures out how to fake a punch and she lands one on your shoulder. She smiles at you, filled with pride, and you notice she has a tooth missing. She couldn’t have been more than 13 years old and seemed almost too naive to be working for HYDRA. You roll out your joints before joining her for a much needed water break.

The both of you fall into an awkward silence, neither of you knowing what to say, while hunched over on the ground of the ring. After a while you decide you’d had enough of the silence and ask her for her number.

“Oh, I’m Unit 9813.” She takes another long drink. “You?”

“Project 103.” You scratched your eyebrow. “Taken or raised?”

Images of her family flashed through her mind and a bitter, melancholic feeling crept into yours. She waited a few seconds before responding. “Wait wha—”

BANG!!!

You turned to see the door shaking on its hinges. Out of nowhere, the Commander barged into the room and shouted for attention. Without missing a beat, you stood tall and stiff, waiting for orders, while 9813 rose slowly and shrank into herself. You sensed that she had never met the Commander and felt intimidated.

A look of surprise dawned on his wrinkly face and his icy eyes darted between the two of you. He was not informed of this training session. He cleared his throat and addressed 9813.

“Unit, you may leave. Head to the deck, they’re heading into the tunnels,” he ordered. She saluted in a panic and scurried off.

He turned back to you and you sensed a feeling you couldn’t describe. He then recited the words and everything around you faded into black. You were returned to the familiar darkness of your mind. Though you knew it well, you didn’t like it one bit.

You could see the Commander regarding you with a strange expression as your body waited for instructions. You were in soldier mode now.

“Initiate order 423E7X.”

Your body saluted. “Yes sir.”

He pressed his lips into a thin line and walked back towards the door. “Soldier... goodbye for now,” he whispered before leaving.

You were left with nothing but silence and an order. Even though you had no idea what was happening, your body seemed to have everything under control as it marched out of the training room, down the long, dimly lit hallway, and into the general work area. The lights flickered as you stepped among the tools and materials strewn about. It definitely appeared as though they had left in a hurry. You were not looking forward to whatever you were supposed to do.

You watched as you climbed the pipes along the walls and pushed yourself onto the maintenance rafters and waited. Eventually you heard the sound of careful footsteps and hushed voices entering the building.

It wasn’t long before you saw the beams of flashlights as they neared your hiding place. Being in your mind was beginning to feel terrifying and watching the strangers enter the work area sent shivers down your spine.

They were wearing strange outfits and sported weapons you’d never seen before, though somehow something about them seemed oddly familiar. One of them stood by the entryway while the other two quietly searched the room. Then, the one with the red hair looked up to see you sitting there staring at them.

“Umm, guys...”

They shined their flashlights up to you as you sat there looking dejected. One of them gasped and placed his metal hand over his glowing chest.

“Oh shit! She scared the crap out of me.” He bent over and placed his hands on his knees, which made a clink sound, and looked up at his teammates. “Guys, I think I’m gonna need a new suit.” He looked between them, both of whom stared at him unimpressed.

“Hey are you alright, creepy girl?” The other man with the bow asked.

You said nothing and continued to stare down at them.

“Okayyy well we’re going to have to take her with us.” The ginger woman pressed her earpiece. “Hey we found someone.” She continued to notify other members of their team about finding you while one continued sweeping the building and the other climbed up to you.

“Do you speak English?” He asked you as he offered his hand for you to take. You didn’t want to take it but it seemed your body had other ideas.

“No one is here.” Unsurprisingly, your voice sounded robotic and completely different from what it normally was. The blonde man stared at you with pinched brows but lightly chuckled to himself.

“I’ll take that as a no.” You noticed he didn’t have the earpiece that the other two had. He had two and they looked different.

He pulled you against his chest and climbed back down the pipe, gently letting you go once on the ground. In your soldier state, you couldn’t feel his emotions or hear his thoughts, but your “soldier self” could, which was more than frustrating.

You blacked out for a brief period of time and came back to consciousness, still inside your mind, to see yourself fighting the man who had brought you down from your perch.

He shot arrow after arrow at you and the few you managed to dodge were out-healed and slowly came out of your body. You threw tools at him and he was dodging them with the agility of someone who’d been doing it for years.

The other two came back after hearing the commotion and didn’t hesitate to join the fight. “Clint, what happened?” The redhead asked as she caught a wrench you had thrown.

“One second—” he shot another arrow at you, hitting you in your thigh. “—we were all fine and dandy and the next—” he ducked to dodge a screw driver. “—she was throwing shit.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” the metal guy said as he shot a beam of energy at you with his hand. You managed to dodge it before getting hit in the head with a hard object and slumping onto the floor with a dull thump.

----

Please don’t ask how the Commander guy isn’t dead by now, I don’t know either.

Let me know if you liked it and if there is anything I should fix! Have a great day and stay safe!

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ohsh1t2wksl8 · 4 years

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Layers

Layer 1: The Basics Name: Age: Birthday: Gender: Zodiac Sign: Layer 2: Your Family Do you have any brothers or sisters? Do you have any pets? Do you still live with your parents? Do you have any stepparents? How many cousins do you have? Layer 3: Your Friends Who is your best friend? Who have you been friends with the longest? What do you like to do with your friends? Do you have more friends online or in real life? What is a good way to make friends with others? Layer 4: Your Home Do you live in a home, apartment, duplex, trailer, etc? How many rooms are there in your house? Is your home large or small? What is your favorite room in your house, and why? Do you prefer having people over to your house, or would you rather go to theirs? Layer 5: Can You Can you fold your tongue into the taco shape? Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue? Can you hold up your end of a physical fight? Can you do any yo-yo tricks? Layer 6: Who Who inspires you the most, and why? Who helps you maintain your sanity? Who do you go to most often for advice? Who knows you better than you know yourself? Who is someone that you would die or put your life on the line for, no questions asked? Layer 7: Do you Do you still eat sandwiches without the crusts? Do you typically finish your meal at a restaurant, or need to take a container home? Do you pull an Oreo apart in order to eat it? Do you read a lot of gossip magazines? Do you make friends easily? Layer 8: How Many? How many people live in your house with you? How many pets have you had in your lifetime? How many tries does it take you to become successful at something? How many meals do you eat a day? How many people can you honestly tolerate? Layer 9: How How do you typically get to school or work? How do you deal with a breakup? How do you like to help others? How do you know when you’ve found “the one”? How do you sleep in bed? Layer 10: What What do you think happens when we die? What do you do if there’s no toilet paper left on the roll and you’re already peeing? What do you eat most often? What toys did you enjoy most as a child? What do you do if you witness someone being awful to someone else? Layer 11: Where Where is your favorite place to eat out? Where is the place that has the best ice cream in your area? Where did you meet your current or last significant other? Where can you be found at 7 PM. typically? Where can you find the best French fries? Layer 12: When When did you find out the truth about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy? When do you typically fall asleep? When was the last time that someone paid you a compliment? When do you feel most comfortable? When did you last go to the bathroom? Layer 13: Why Why do you enjoy taking surveys so much? Why do people gossip so much? Why can’t humans fly? Why aren’t you doing something else right now? Why is the sky blue? Layer 14: If... If you had a million dollars, what would you spend it on? If you found out someone was cheating on you, would you ever take them back? If you found a wallet with cash in the street, including identification, would you turn it in? Why or why not? If you could have any food right now, what would you like? If you found out that the world was going to end tomorrow, how would you spend your last day? Layer 15: Firsts When did you lose your first tooth? Who was your first teacher that you ever had? When did you first learn how to ride a bike? When was the first time you had sex? Did your first birthday have a theme to it? Layer 16: Lasts Last person you texted: Last drink you sipped: Last time you rode a bike: Last time you swam in a pool: Last person you hugged: Layer 17: Favorites Favorite Color Favorite Season Favorite Shape Favorite Letter: Favorite Number: Layer 18: This or That Pepsi or Coke? Movies or Television? Phone or Tablet? Fruits or Vegetables? Animals or Humans? Layer 19: Which Which Poke’mon is your favorite? Which day of the week is your favorite? Which birthday celebration was the most memorable for you? Which holiday is your favorite? Which shoe do you put on first? Layer 20: Love Life/Relationships What is the name of your first love? How many times can you honestly say you’ve been in love? Have you ever been in a relationship before that was abusive in any way? Have you ever been engaged or married before? Do you have any children? Layer 21: Jobs, Dreams, & Goals What did you want to be when you grew up (as a little kid)? What do you aspire to be now? What interests you? What is the most recent goal you’ve achieved? What is a goal you are still striving to reach? Have you ever won any sort of awards before? If so, for what? Layer 22: Opinions & Beliefs Pro-life or pro-choice? Were you raised with any sort of religious background? If so, then what? Democrat, Republican, or Independent? For or against the death penalty? Thoughts on assisted suicide? Layer 23: Currently/Today/Present What day is it? What’s the weather like outside? What have you eaten? Did you run any errands? What time is it? Layer 24: Yesterday Did you have a work shift? Did you eat out anywhere? Was it snowing? Who did you last say goodnight to? Did anything unusual happen? Layer 25: Tomorrow Do you have to go to school/class? Does this day have any sort of significance to you? What is a chore that needs to get done? Will you hang out with friends? What time will you be expected to be awake by? Layer 26: Have You Ever Performed a magic trick successfully? Sat or laid on a rooftop and looked at the stars? Walked around with your underwear on inside out or backwards all day without realizing it? Touched a snake? Been bitten by an animal? If so, what animal? Layer 27: School Life Are preschool and kindergarten mandatory where you live? Were you or anyone you knew homeschooled? Did you attend public or private school? Were you bullied in school, popular, or somewhere in-between? What is the highest level of education that you completed? Layer 28: Your Appearance Eye Color: Hair Color: Height: Weight: Do you have freckles. moles, beauty marks, or birthmarks - and where? Layer 29: Electronics, Internet, & Social Media How much time do you spend on the internet per day? Which social media platforms do you belong to? When’s the last time you replaced the batteries in your television remote? Are you more likely to stream movies and shows on your laptop, or cast them to your television? Do you have an e-reader, or do you prefer actual books? Layer 30: Are You Are you still in school? Are you a member of the LGBTQ+ community? Are you looking forward to anything coming soon? Are you dreading anything coming soon? Are you gullible or naive? Layer 31: Does Does your workplace make you feel like you can never take a day off without feeling guilty about it? Does someone currently hold the key to your heart? Does anyone out there hate you? Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Does crying make you feel less strong? Layer 32: Would You Do the Polar Bear Plunge? Ever try to walk across a room blindfolded? Swim with sharks? Go into outer space, given the chance? Go out in public, looking how you do right now? Layer 33: Pets/Animals Do you have any pets? If so, what type, and their names... If not, what type of pet have you always wanted? What is your favorite animal? Do you think it is cruel to have circus animals? How often do you walk your dog, if you have one? How often do you scoop the litterbox, if you have a cat? Layer 34: Food What is your favorite breakfast item? What is your favorite kind of dessert? Do you eat all three meals everyday? What’s the longest you’ve gone without food? What do you like to eat when you are feeling sick? Layer 35: Past Does your past ever come back to haunt you at times? What is one of your favorite memories of the past? What is something that you used to do in the past, but no longer do? If you could have a meal with someone from the past, who would it be, and what would you ask them? Which historical time period would you like to go back to and check out? Layer 36: Future Do you think you will ever get married one day? Do you plan on ever getting a different job in the future, or are you happy with the one you’ve got? What age do you plan to retire at? Or do you plan on working til you’re dead? What is something on your bucket list worth mentioning? If given the opportunity to see how your future plays out, would you take it, or no? Layer 37: Hygiene How often do you shower? How often do you brush your teeth? Do you actually iron any of your clothes? How often do you do laundry? How long do you use a bath towel before switching it out? Layer 38: Clothing, Makeup, & Style Do you wear nail polish? If so, how often do you paint your nails? How would your describe your sense of style? Are there any popular trends that you do not find appealing? Where do you typically buy your clothing from? What sorts of accessories do you wear/use? Layer 39: Hobbies Do you still color, even as an adult? Do you/would you like to crochet, knit, cross-stitch, etc? What’s the last thing you crafted all by yourself? Do you use Pinterest at all? What’s the last thing that you cooked or baked? Layer 40: Dislikes List some of your pet peeves here. What are some things that annoy you about yourself? Is there anyone out there who you actually hate? Who? What is a feeling that you dislike? Do you get some ugly road rage while driving? Layer 41: Random Have you ever successfully pogo’ed on a pogo stick? Have you ever mastered the jump rope? Do you know what it feels like to be truly happy? Is it winter in your part of the world right now? What’s your favorite type of survey, and why? Layer 42: Music What are some of your favorite genres of music? What are some music genres that you can’t stand? If you had a blank pair of concert tickets, who would you hope to be going to see? Do you still listen to music on the radio from time to time? iTunes, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Music, or YouTube? Layer 43: Books What were some of your favorite books as a child? What genre of books do you typically read most often? What are some of your favorite books as an adult? What is a book that you were required to read for school that you actually enjoyed? Do you read any newspapers or magazines anymore? Layer 43: Around the World Where’s the best place you’ve taken a vacation and/or day trip to? Where is somewhere that you’d like to go someday, assuming you have the funds to do so? Where do your family members originate from? What is your favorite type of ethnic cuisine? What is something that is typically representative of your own culture? Layer 44: Would you Rather... Drink apple juice or grape juice? Wear pants or shorts? Be taller or shorter? Go to a zoo or an aquarium? Visit an art gallery or a museum? Layer 45: Movies Do you remember what the first movie was that you saw in theaters? What are some of your favorite movies you’ve seen? What genre of movie do you typically enjoy? What is a movie you’ve seen that you weren’t expecting to like, but were pleasantly surprised? How many movies do you own? Are they all DVD’s, or do you still have some VHS ones left? Layer 46: Personality Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? Are you more easygoing and laid back, or anal? Are you kind to everyone who shows that they deserve kindness? Describe your sense of humor. Do you tend to over-share? Layer 47: Celebrities Which celebrity has given their child the most unique name, in your opinion? Are there any celebrities that you keep tabs on/read articles about often? Who is/are your celebrity crush(es)? Have you ever personally met someone famous before? If so, then who? Who is a celebrity that you’re getting tired of hearing about all the time? Layer 48: Emotions When was the last time you cried? What are some things that you’re afraid of? What is something small that makes you happy? Who is the last person that you were angry with, and about what? Are you typically a shy or outgoing person? Layer 49: Digging Deeper What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? How old were you when you got drunk for the first time? Do you smoke? Have you ever taken and sent naked pictures of yourself? Have you ever done any drugs other than marijuana? If so, which ones? Layer 50: Games What are some of your favorite video games? Do you have any computer games that you play regularly? What was your favorite board game, growing up? How about your favorite card game? How good are you at solving puzzles? (such as a Rubik’s cube, word puzzles, or putting together a jigsaw puzzle) [ohsh1t2wksl8]

#survey

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theparanormalperiodical · 4 years

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Black Cats And Broken Mirrors: The Forgotten History Behind 13 Common Superstitions feat. 4 Cray-Cray Bonus Beliefs That You Didn’t Know Existed

It’s safe to say I’m a superstitious person.

I run a blog about the paranormal, for god’s sake.

Everyday I find myself touching wood, crossing my fingers, and hoping that magpie I can see just over there has a friend nearby to make a pair.

But in the same vein I’m obsessed with things that aren’t quite so lucky: I’m currently donning a pair of subtle black cat slippers, and I’m pretty damn sure my lucky number is 13.

Like most people reading this post at 2.37am when they should be having nightmares about the Mothman, I’m drawn to all things that don’t quite make sense. And people like me have been obsessed with superstitions since humans first started believing in a god of their choice.

Yet despite the long history of superstitious beliefs, there are some that still alter what we think and what we do.

Why do we pick up pennies in the hope of good luck?

Is there an explanation as to why walking under ladders can bring back luck?

And what is so wrong with the number 13?

Clutch your rabbit foot tight, and let’s find out.

#1 - It’s bad luck to open umbrellas indoors

I hate umbrellas. Like printers, they can sense when you need them most, deciding to either malfunction with the slightest gust of wind or disappear from sight altogether.

But the Victorians had it a bit worse than we do with more modern contraptions. And it’s the dangerous nature of Victorian umbrellas that explains why we are still wary of opening them indoors:

They had rigidly-spoked umbrellas which would snap open. When opened indoors, it could injure someone or hit an object as they opened with such force.

But the history of umbrella-related problems actually goes as far back as the Ancient Egyptians. The nobility would be protected from the sun with decorative umbrellas, but they believed if they opened them indoors they would anger the sun god. Umbrellas also mimicked the goddess who formed the sky so the shade created by the umbrella was thus considered sacred.

The act of daring to open one indoors could also anger your home’s spirits and causing misfortune.

So basically no living being or supernatural entity approves.

#2 - Walking underneath a ladder will bring bad luck

We now turn from one belief system to another.

This superstition relates purely to Christianity, with the claims that the ladder against a wall creates 3 points and thus represents the Holy Trinity. Walking through this triangle thus represents you - yes, you, you unholy thing - breaking it.

The Egyptians also had a thing about ladders, and like the Christians believed a triangle was sacred symbol.

It is also claimed that ladders were rested against crucifixes, and thus became a symbol of wickedness, death, and any other values that go against Christ’s teaching.

These beliefs were so prevalent, criminals sentenced to be hung in 17th century England were forced to walk under a ladder as they headed towards the gallows.

#3 - Broken mirrors give you seven years of bad luck

Mirrors have a bad reputation amongst us supernatural skeptics. Why?

They’ve been used for divination and conjuring rituals for millenia, and that’s exactly the gripe the Ancient Greeks had with them.

Their mirror seers, as they were also known, told the future by looking at the reflection of their clients. And one of their methods was catoptromancy: the mirror was dipped in water, and you were asked to look in the glass. If it distorted, you were destined to die.

The 7 years bit is actually to do with the Romans and was introduced back in 1st AD. As they believed people's health changed in 7 year cycles, a distorted image thus meant 7 years of ill health or misfortune.

#4 - Throwing salt over your shoulder avoids bad luck

Salt is one of those things that has always had spiritual meaning.

From the Bible to Pagan ceremonies, it is known for its healing properties and has even been used as a unit of exchange. It’s these values which explain why spilling salt is considered so unlucky.

Even the word ‘salary’ can be traced back to the monetary value of what we now consider simply a seasoning.

The Ancient Sumerians were the first to think up throwing salt over their left shoulder to nullify any salt they might spill, protecting themselves from bad luck. Alternatively, in Mahayana Buddhist tradition, the same ritual is used to prevent evil spirits from entering the house.

#5 - Knocking on wood prevents disappointment

Just like salt, wood has been pretty prevalent in rituals throughout history. It’s for this reason that historians still aren’t sure which religion actually gave birth to this, but it is most often attributed to holding a crucifix when taking an oath, or how European peasants historically knocked loudly to keep out evil spirits.

Today we knock on wood to avoid tempting fate, whereas German or Celtic folklore started the knocking ritual to invoke the protection of their fairies, spirits, and dryads that lived in the trees. To follow their ritual, say your wish to the tree, knock one, and then knock again to say ‘thank you’.

The knocking stops the evil spirits from hearing you, and prevents them from interfering in your good fortune.

#6 - Open-end-up horse shoes are good luck

It’s a good luck charm gracing novelty gifts and jewellery for prep school girls who are still crying about New Moon - but like most superstitions, it once again can be traced back to the Ancient Greeks.

Iron was believed to have the ability to ward off evil, and the crescent moon was a symbol of fertility and good fortune. The twinned appeal of an iron crescent moon symbol thus suggested high levels of protection against misfortune.

This symbol was passed down to the Christians and use of it peaked during the witch trials. It was believed witches feared horses, and thus wouldn’t go near a home with a horse shoe on the front door.

It can also be traced back to a legend of Saint Dunstan from the 10th century: one day the Devil asked for Dunstan to shoe his horse. Rather than nailing the shoe to the horse’s foot, he nailed it to the devil’s foot and thus caused the entity unbearable pain. Dunstan agreed to remove the shoe only if the Devil never entered a household with a horseshoe on the door.

The way it is positioned is also important: open end down means the horse catches the luck and open end up means those entering the house get the luck.

#7 - Black cats crossing your path is bad luck

Black cats have always been considered omens - but the kind of luck they bring is yet to be agreed upon.

Ancient Egyptians revered cats and thus believed they brought good luck, whereas the British public’s fear of black cats can be traced back to King Charles I’s loss of his beloved pet. He believed when it died his luck was gone...

He was arrested the next day for high treason.

(Oh, he was guilty, black cat or not.)

Medieval Europeans followed a similar line of thought, but believed that they were familiars (like companions) of witches. If one was to cross your path, it meant the devil was watching you.

#8 - The number 13 is unlucky

This superstition is so popular, it’s even earnt a scientific name: triskaidekaphobia, aka the fear of the number 13. But why do we have such a phobia of the number?

Whilst many believe it is down to the Last Supper, when Judas - that guy that betrayed Jesus - sat down as the 13th guest at the table, it can also be found in a similar legend in Norse mythology.

12 gods were dining at Valhalla in the city of gods when Loki crashed the party. They tried to kick him out, but the struggle caused one of the gods - Balder - to die. But each culture has their own individual take on why the number 13 is quite so unlucky.

The Mayan believed their calendar’s 13th Baktun was the harbinger of 2012’s predicted apocalypse, English monks disliked 13 full moons in a year as opposed to 12 as it skewed the religious holidays, and in 1307 on friday the 13th King Philip of France ordered the arrest of the Knights Templar.

Some nations take the fear so seriously that they don’t even have 13 floors. And interestingly enough, it wasn’t used in Formula 1 for 40 years. Some countries, including China and France, however, believe it is a lucky number.

#9 - Pick up a penny for good luck

This superstition is often relayed to a nursery rhyme actually referring to pins forged by Paganism, but it actually started with superstition regarding metals. In years gone by, metals gave protection against evil spirits. So, when metal began to be used from currency, it followed logically that those who had more currency had better fortune.

But what one should do with the penny is uncertain. Some say it is only lucky if it is heads-side-up, whereas others believe you should always flip it over for the next person to find.

Another forgotten ritual associated with pennies is that a bride should put a penny in her shoe on her wedding day to ensure a happy marriage.

#10 - A rabbit’s foot brings good luck

Okay, let’s be honest.

We’re all friends here.

Who the f*ck wants a rabbit’s foot? Like, what person wants an animal’s body part in their bed side table, or in their new rucksack-style handbag which you’re still not sure if the colour works with your skintone yet but you’ve already lost the receipt?

Turns out a lot of people do.

Rabbit feet are considered a talisman or an amulet which can be traced back to Celtic tribes in Britain. But on the other side of the pond, they can come from hoodoo, African-American folk magic that combines Native American, European, and African beliefs.

However, any ol’ rabbit can’t be chosen to be de-footed. It must’ve been killed in a certain way, in a certain place, by a certain person.

Under a full moon, or in a cemetery, or on a rainy Friday, or shot with a silver bullet… You have a lot of options.

The interest in rabbit feet in particular is because this is an animal which witches used to shapeshift into, and the times it should be killed, such as during a full moon, was when witches would transform.

The cemetery part is interesting, however: if killed on the grave of a criminal, they have a more effective charm applied to them.

#11 - Crossing your fingers is good luck

Like most superstitions, this one goes back to Jesus.

Crossing your fingers invokes the power of Christ as it creates a cross, and thus asks God for protection. But the first use of the gesture itself involves two people crossing their index fingers together, and can be traced back to the biblical Kingdom of Israel:

Judges would cross their fingers when they sentenced someone to death and wanted to reaffirm God’s authority over the criminal’s soul.

From there churchgoers would cross their fingers for blessings, and in the 16th century England people began to use it to ward off evil or to bless people when they coughed or sneezed.

#12 - Mirrors placed opposite each other are unlucky and might conjure the devil

We already know mirrors are highly-spiritual objects, and can be used to predict the future or conjure spirits from another realm.

But according to Mesoamerican culture, when mirrors are placed opposite each other, they create a doorway for the devil.

Mexicans today still believe your interior design might just be summoning evil spirits.

#13 - Whistling indoors is bad luck

Our next superstition is from Lithuania, but has already made its way across Europe.

In many cultures, whistling - especially at night - attracts bad luck and evil spirits. But in England, an urban legend in the 19th century brought a whole new meaning to the superstition. The Seven Whistlers are mysterious spirits that would create spectral whistling in mines and stopped groups of coal miners going to work.

Alternatively, in Slavic countries whistling indoors can bring poverty, whereas the Chinese Daoist technique of breath yoga can summon supernatural beings and strange phenomena.

The Superstitions You Didn’t Know Existed And Will Now Probably Be Obsessed With

#14 - If a bird craps on you it is good luck

This Russian superstition claims that if bird poop lands on you or an object that belongs to you, it will bring you wealth. But interest in bird faeces goes a bit further than this frosty nation.

Sailors believed droppings shouldn’t be cleaned off a vessel until the next rainstorm, whereas British folklore claims if droppings come from a rook (a member of the Crow family) it is a punishment.

#15 - Yo-Yos bring bad luck

On January 21st 1933, Yo-Yos were banned in Syria.

The persistent drought and freezing temperatures the country was facing were pinned on the traditional toy, and the leaders in Damascus claimed the wrath of god was being incited by these obviously evil trinkets.

They believed that Syrians were praying from the rain to come down, but as the yo-yo comes down and then goes back up it thus wasn’t raining.

I think that’s what they were getting at.

I’m still not sure.

#16 - Singing at the dinner table is bad luck

I was once told off for singing in the middle of dinner. I must’ve been three years old, but from what I’ve read, my grandpa was probably convinced I was actually communicating with Satan.

If you sang at the table, it meant you were singing to the devil for your supper. And when you sing to the devil, it’s probably going to end badly.

#17 - Carry an acorn to stay young

According to women from Ancient Britain, acorns could keep you looking youthful - and it was all down to the power of an oak tree.

Simply tuck one into your pocket, and you too could look like you were in a magazine spread that enforces the destructive notion that women cannot look above the age of 27.

Acorns are also associated with Thor: Scandinavian folklore claims the god of thunder sought protection under an oak tree during a storm. By putting one on a windowsill, it will protect your house from lightning strikes as a sign of respect to Thor.

As we plough into Autumn of this sh*t year, it is our duty to generate as much luck as possible. We’re gonna need it.

Which superstition surprised you the most? And which ones do you do?

Let me know in a comment, and click follow if you want to hear a new article on the paranormal every week!

And don’t forget to check out the link in the bio, the ultimate collection of online real ghost stories as told by you.

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scoutception · 5 years

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Ranking the 5 animes I’ve recently watched

Long story short, I’ve been taking a break and watching anime, something that I’ve only really experienced in small doses before, though in general I don’t really watch a lot of stuff nowadays (to my memory, the only anime I’ve watched in full is Danganronpa 3, so I’ll go ahead and say it gave me an aversion to it all). As the title says, I’ve gone through 5 so far, so I’ve decided to just type up my personal rankings and thoughts. If I had to say anything important before starting, it’s that 1. everything I list here is a very enjoyable and worthwhile watch, and I would definitely recommend giving any of them a try, and 2. this is just a personal ranking, and so it’s very biased. I might, for example, think whatever is number 5 is technically better than whatever is number 4, but still prefer number 4 for any number of reasons. I’m at least going to try to point out when that’s the case, but it’s still something to keep in mind. I’ll also be including information like number of episodes, what streaming platforms they’re on, which I’ll admit mostly comes down to Netflix, Hulu, and Crunchyroll, and whether or not English dubs are available, or only subtitles. Other than that, let the rankings begin. 5. Little Witch Academia

Number of episodes: 25. Language options: dub and subs available. Streaming availability: Netflix. Little Witch Academia originated as a short film released in 2013 as part of a training program for animators. It was only about half an hour long, but the fun cast and beautiful animation gave it a lot of charm, and enough popularity to spawn a second short film in 2015, the Enchanted Parade, which lasted for closer to an hour. Then, in 2017, it got a full series on Netflix, produced by Studio Trigger, which did away with any continuity from the short films, but kept the general concept. Little Witch Academia follows Atsuko “Akko” Kagari, who, after witnessing a magical show hosted by the witch known as Shiny Chariot, dedicated her life to becoming a witch, despite not coming from a family with magic in its bloodline. Despite managing to enroll in the academy of Luna Nova, dedicated to training witches, Akko finds the reality of it isn’t anywhere near what she expected; Chariot is ostracized by most of the magical community for portraying magic in a flashy, illusionist manner considered embarrassing, Luna Nova’s education is much more focused on tedious, small scale magic than what Akko had come to expect, the world at large considers Luna Nova and its magic to be weak relics of the past, something even its staff can’t argue well against, and worst of all, Akko is incompetent at magic to a downright abnormal degree, even for her normal origins, incapable of so much as riding a broom. Despite the constant demoralization, Akko receives help from one of the academy’s professors, Ursula, who puts Akko on the path to unlock the secrets of the Shiny Rod, Chariot’s personal wand, found by Akko on her way to Luna Nova. This isn’t exactly the most original series out there, and if you’ve watched pretty much anything involving non evil witches and magic schools, you’re not going to be too surprised. The main strength, writing wise, is the fun cast. Akko herself is a pretty entertaining main character, being very excitable and passionate, enough to keep likeable even with her many, many missteps throughout the series, but the rest of the cast is pretty good too. Characters like Sucy, Akko’s roommate obsessed with poison, mushrooms, and picking on Akko, the delinquent Amanda O’Neil, the mute technological genius Constanze, and Akko’s alleged rival, Diana Cavendish, who, though very haughty, has a lot more depth to her than you might expect, help hold the series together very well. Most of the series is pretty goofy and lighthearted, which helps keep it from feeling too cliche. Starting with the second half of the series, though, it gets much more story based, which might be a bit jarring for some people, but still manages some surprisingly sad moments. This is all helped by the great animation, as Trigger can always be counted on to provide, and the dub is good overall, with Erica Mendez especially perfectly capturing Akko. Overall, this is a fun watch, but it’s really not much special, so I can’t really put it anywhere other than dead last. If you want a fun, lighthearted romp that isn’t stuck to only 13 episodes, this is a good one to try. 4. The Pet Girl of Sakurasou/Sakura Hall

Number of episodes: 24. Language options: subs only. Streaming availability: Crunchyroll, Hidive. Firstly, don’t let the very questionable title give too many bad impressions. Sakura Hall, as I’ll be calling it, was originally a series of light novels by Hajime Kamoshida, with 10 main novels being released. The anime, produced by JC Staff, actually only adapts the first 6, though it ends rather conclusively regardless. This is also probably the most obscure anime on this list. Sorata Kanda is a rather unremarkable high school student attending the Suimei University of the Arts High School, forced to live in the very abnormal mixed gender dorm of Sakura Hall. Sakura Hall’s other residents consist of Misaki Kamiigusa, an extremely talented, and extremely weird and energetic, animator capable of creating anime almost entirely on her own, Jin Mitaka, the scriptwriter and childhood friend of Misaki, who is cool, mature, and has an almost chronic playboy streak, Ryunosuke Akasaka, the extremely reclusive, but talented computer programmer who mostly communicates through texts, and Chihiro Sengouka, Sakura Hall’s extremely irresponsible supervisor who prefers to leave the students to fend for themselves, outside of the occasional words of advice. Sorata is only stuck in Sakura Hall due to his refusal to abandon a stray cat he rescued, and intends on escaping Sakura Hall however he can to escape his roommates and return to normalcy, a plan that’s certainly not impacted by him picking up 6 more stray cats along the way. One day, a new resident moves into Sakura Hall: Mashiro Shiina, a relative of Chihiro and extremely talented artist, on a level only Misaki and Ryunosuke can match, who is also very unemotive and almost completely incapable of caring for herself, not helped by some rather odd thought processes (she’s almost certainly autistic, but they never actually clarify that). Sorata and some of the other Sakura Hall residents thusly become Mashiro’s caretakers, and are soon additionally joined by Sorata’s friend, the workaholic aspiring voice actress Nanami Aoyama. Sorata’s previously tedious life becomes defined by his struggles to find a direction to his life, his attempts at caring for and understanding Mashiro, and the various problems of the rest of the Sakura Hall residents. The main writing strength, is, again, the cast of characters. The characters are all very enjoyable, even the designated average guy, Sorata, and they all have their share of struggles, hidden depths, and development. The first half of the series is, for the most part, plain wacky, and while it does delve into serious moments more than a few times, it’s also prone to plain breaking the mood, either by starting them suddenly, or just as suddenly interrupting them with a gag. It’s enjoyable on its own, but it can be a bit hard to get into. The second half of the series is a big change of pace, becoming much, much more focused and serious, and for the better. Bitter topics like resentment against those who can outperform others simply through natural talent, and the risks of overworking, and the slippery slope mentality against accepting help that it can generate, are frequently brought up, and it does not shy away from how brutal reality can be. It’s never dark to the point of creating apathy, though, and it overall captures a very bittersweet portrayal of nearing the end of one’s teenage years, and preparing to become an adult. The animation is pretty good, and the voice actors all give memorable performances. Overall, this was probably the hardest series for me to get into at first, but sticking with it is very worthwhile. I can’t really say much about it, if only because I don’t want to risk getting into spoilers, but it genuinely is great. I was even considering placing it higher than number 4, but the next three things were stiff competition. 3. Gurren Lagann/Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

Number of episodes: 27. Language options: dub and subs available. Streaming availability: Netflix, Crunchyroll, Hulu, Funimation. Here’s what I would bet is the second most popular anime on this list, and was more or less one of the grand finales to the golden age of Studio Gainax, directed by one of the co-founders of Studio Trigger, and is perhaps most memorably one of the series where Gainax didn’t completely mess up the budget by the end. Simon (pronunced see-moan) and his self appointed big brother Kamina live in an underground village, with Simon living a monotonous life digging tunnels so the village can expand, in hopes of finding artifacts and being awarded better dinners, while Kamina constantly causes trouble in his attempts to breach the underground and reach the surface. Simon is insecure and self deprecating, thinking he’s only capable of the job he already has while Kamina is extremely boisterous, charismatic, and capable of seeing the potential within Simon. The way to the surface is finally opened for the pair by the appearance of a giant mecha called a Gunmen, which are piloted by the beastmen, who control the surface and are out to exterminate any humans they come across. Simon and Kamina are saved by the appearance of Yoko, a human who lives on the surface, and a miniature Gunmen discovered by Simon, which Kamina dubs Lagann. Making their way to the surface and capturing an enemy Gunmen Kamina names Gurren, Kamina decides to take the fight to the beastmen themselves, and drags Simon and Yoko with him, starting what can only really be described as a rollcoaster ride of giant mechas, drills, and general insanity. The series honestly starts only about average, but starting about episode 7, the scale just starts going up and up, and doesn’t tend to slow down. It goes for bigger and bigger heights, making for some amazing action scenes, and doesn’t get desensitizing like some things would. The cast of characters is great, between characters like Kamina, being lovably boisterous and encouraging, Simon, who gets some fantastic character development, Yoko, the sniper who despite seeming just like designated fanservice has some great development herself, Viral, the recurring beastman commander who just can’t keep up, and Lordgenome, the absurdly manly leader of the beastmen, and that’s just listing a few. The animation is great, the soundtrack is very memorable, the dub is one of the best out there, especially with Kyle Herbert as Kamina, and the writing, despite just seeming like big fun robot show, makes a surprisingly great story. I unfortunately can’t go much more indepth without definitely wading into spoilers, but it doesn’t take too long to start paying off. Overall, if I had to try to rank without bias, this would actually be number 2 on this list. It’s a great ride, and one I can recommend pretty much without question. 2. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Number of episodes: 64. Language options: dub and subs available: Streaming availability: Netflix, Crunchyroll, Hulu, Funimation. Here’s what’s certainly the most popular anime on this list, and what would be my number 1 without bias. There’s actually two Fullmetal Alchemist animes, with the original 2003 one going very off track from the manga and becoming its own thing, while Brotherhood, made in 2009, stays faithful to the manga. Fullmetal Alchemist follows the Elric brothers, Edward and Alphonse, in a world where the art of alchemy allows its users to transmute materials for purposes such as reshaping them into new forms, and operates on a principle of equivalent exchange, with every transmutation made relying on something being taken away. After being abandoned by their father, Van Hohenheim, and losing their mother to a plague, Ed and Al attempted the forbidden practice of human transmutation in an attempt to bring her back to life, only to fail, with Ed losing his left leg and right arm, and Al losing his entire body, forcing Ed to affix Al’s soul to a suit of armor. His missing limbs replaced with automail, a type of prosthetic, Ed becomes a government employed alchemist for the nation of Amestris, ruled over by Fuhrer Bradley, in hopes that he and Al can find a Philosopher’s Stone, an artifact said to be capable of eliminating the equivalent exchange requirement of alchemy, in hopes they can reacquire their natural bodies. Since things can’t ever go so smoothly, they end up involved in a massive conspiracy led by one known as Father, who commands Homunculi, artificial humans, who are themed after the seven deadly sins. By far the longest anime on this list, it’s also easily one of the richest. Almost every episode does something to move the plot along, and introduces a lot of important plot points fairly quickly, which helps keep the story interesting. There are many storylines going on, but all of them are both interesting and relevant, helped by the downright amazing cast Fullmetal Alchemist has to offer. From colonel Roy Mustang, out to become Furher to help atone for Amestris’ crimes, to Ling Yao and May Chang from the country of Xing searching for the secret of immortality, to the Ishvalan named Scar, out to avenge his people, who were the victims of a war of extermination waged by Amestris. As for characters closer to the main plot, Ed and Al are both great protagonists, with plenty of development between the two, and their interactions with Winry Rockbell, their childhood friend and mechanic, make for some great scenes. The antagonists are also great, with quite a few defying how one note themed villain groups like them can be, like the shadowy abomination Pride, the sadistic rat that is Envy, the independent Greed, and especially the extremely intimidating Wrath. The animation by Studio Bones is great, as is the soundtrack, and the dub is fantastic, helped by almost all of the cast from the 2003 anime reprising their roles. Voices like Travis Willingham as Roy Mustang, Christopher Sabat as Alex Louis Armstrong, Chris Patton as Greed, and Ed Blaylock as Fuhrer Bradley especially are fantastic. Overall, this is one of the best shows I’ve watched, period. I recommend it very highly, and almost wish I could confidently declare it number 1. 1. Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai

Number of episodes: 13. Language options: subs only. Streaming availability: Crunchyroll, Hulu, Funimation. Firstly, again, this is not something to judge based on the name. Secondly, yes, this is where all the bias on this list comes from. This is anime is actually only about a year old, so it’s surprisingly recent, and is also by far the shortest of all the series I’ve listed here. Rascal is based off a series of light novels by the same author as Sakura Hall, Hajime Kamoshida, and was produced by CloverWorks. Like Sakura Hall, the anime doesn’t completely adapt, only going through 5 of the 9 novels currently released, with a movie, of all things, adapting the 6th. You may or may not have heard of this anime while it was airing, but regardless, I’m here to spread the word of it, cause it’s a special place for me. One day, while browsing a library, high school student Sakuta Azusagawa notices a girl wearing a bunny suit walking around, not being acknowledged by anyone other than himself. The girl turns out to be Mai Sakurajima, an actress on hiatus that attends his high school, who has found she’s recently become invisible to an unknown number of people outside of their school. Sakuta identifies it as “Adolescence Syndrome”, a mysterious phenomenon that occurs due to the unstable psyches of adolescences, which causes physical effects on the world based on their biggest causes of stress. Sakuta has seen the effects of Adolescence Syndrome himself, with it causing physical harm to his sister, Kaede, and causing her to become a recluse, and somehow causing Sakuta to be scarred as well. Hoping to learn more about the phenomenon, as well as just hoping to spare Mai from a similar fate, Sakuta decides to solve the mystery of her syndrome, as well as those of other girls in each story arc after. The premise is pretty unique by itself, and it uses its potential very well, thanks to the grounded writing and great cast of characters. Sakuta is not your typical protagonist: he’s blunt, blatantly perverted, and more than willing to verbally pick on people with little to no provocation. He’s not even close to a bad person, though; he treats the friends he already has at the start of the series, and everyone else he proceeds to grow closer to, much more respectfully, and when the chips come down, he’ll do crazy things for other people with no hesitation. He’s one of the most refreshing protagonists I’ve seen in a long time, and has most of the best lines in the series. The rest of the cast is also great, especially Mai, the other main lead. In fact, the main focus of the series besides the Adolescence Syndrome cases is Sakuta and Mai’s relationship, which is very well written, to the point of being my favorite part of the series. It avoids so many stumbles a lot of other series can run into: the relationship is started up early, nobody manages to threaten their feelings, and any misunderstandings, current or even just potential, they take steps to work though. Even when she’s willing to jab at and mess with Sakuta, Mai is always affectionate and transparent with her feelings, and becomes progressively even more so as it goes on. It’s also just, a refreshing change of pace compared to most relationships in anime. The other main focus, the Adolescence Syndrome cases, are just as well written. Despite exaggerated situations like becoming invisible to people, or even causing a time loop, there are few times they’re played for laughs. The series takes it all very seriously, mostly because of the kind of factors that lead to the syndrome appearing. Things like an oppressive school atmosphere, where standing out causes scrutiny, and most decide to just follow the leader to avoid consequences, or the fear of your only friendships being damaged over minor reasons. While more positive than Sakura Hall, it takes the same care to show just how damaging issues like this can be. Even Sakuta isn’t above it: he’s rumored to have send some of his classmates to the hospital once, and despite being completely false, it’s ostracized him to the point that he considers himself lucky to have 2 whole friends, and he’s just accepted the mindset that fighting against such an atmosphere is pointless. There a lot of emotional moments throughout the series, especially the last three episodes, and it earns them all. It even shies away from fanservice most of the time, even despite the very title of the show (the bunny girl part was actually only the title of the first light novel, but the series just kept it for the whole thing) The animation isn’t too wacky due to the tone and grounded writing, but it has an appealing artstyle, and the voice actors do a great job as well. Overall, this is an anime that’s genuinely very good by itself. Even so, what is it that makes me so biased towards it? For one thing, it just hits some emotional soft spots a lot of other stuff doesn’t personally manage, through stuff like, once again, Sakuta and Mai’s relationship. The very interesting premise and general grounded nature also wins it a lot of points. But, ultimately, it’s not something I can really put into words. Might be because I watched it on a very weird day. Regardless, this is one I would definitely want everyone to give a chance, and here’s hoping the movie gets a DVD release soon. And with that, there’s to end to my rambling. Again, I would recommend everything I’ve put here to most people, but especially the top 2. I’m planning on watching some more anime, so I may make another ranking like this soon. Otherwise, till next time. -Scout

#anime #bunny girl senpai #the pet girl of sakurasou #fullmetal alchimist brotherhood #gurren lagann #little witch academia

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virovac · 5 years

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The DD-X Tournaments stories

There were two team tourneys on the old Kaijuhphile boards. A “low tier” and “high tier” monster (by fandom consensus at the time) were paired together.

I’ll post the teams for the first team tournament (in 2005). Lower tiers were placed first in teams.

Official Team-Ups: 01. Gino [i.e. Godzilla 1998] & Orga 02. Ganimes & Super MechaGodzilla (’93) 03. Yongary & Gamera (Heisei) 04. Gappa & MechaGodzilla (’74) 05. Gyaos (Heisei) & Godzilla (Showa) 06. Mothra (Showa) & Fire Rodan 07. Ebirah & King Ghidorah (Showa) 08. Gorosaurus & Mothra (SOS) 09. Pulgasari & Yonggary (Reptilian) 10. Baragon (Showa) & Megaguirus 11. Guiron & Battra Adult 12. Rodan & Kiryu (‘04) 13. Varan & Barugon 14. Brown Gargantua & Godzilla (Heisei 2 [Godzilla after powered up by nuclear sub]) 15. Mechani-Kong & G-Force Moguera 16. Mothra Larva (Showa/Heisei) & Gamera (Showa) 17. Manda & Irys 18. Gigan & Battra Larva 19. Baragon (GMK) & Space Godzilla 20. King Kong & Grand Ghidorah [ ROM trilogy King Ghidorah] 21. Titanosaurus & Hedorah 22. [Ogra from Gorgo] & Cykor [from Reptillian i.e. Yong 23. Kumonga & Biollante 24. Jet Jaguar & Destroyah 25. Anguirus & Death Ghidorah 26. Reptilicus & Godzilla (Millenium) 27. Godzilla Junior & Megalon 28. Green Gargantua & Jiger 29. King Seesar & Godzilla (GMK) 30. Kamacuras & Zigra 31. Viras & Legion 32. Gabara & Mothra (Rebirth)

The winners that year were Legion and Viras, defeating Iris and Manda (showa)

beating Iris (Gamera 3)

and Manda (showa)

Three Daiei kaiju in one match!

Now, the second team tournament takes some more explaining. Its a long one.

The teams ended up being sometimes thematic that year. The “more powerful” monster was listed first this time

I redid some of the names in this list to be clearer as fan terminology changing and better dubs and subs coming around over time

GMK Godzilla and Showa Kumonga

Space Godzilla and Rhedosaurus

Fire Rodan and Godzilla Junior [brotherss from another mother, if you are familiar with Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla 2]

Hyper Gyaos and Zedus [gamera enemies is theme here I gues]

Irys and Space Gyaos [strange varieties/mutations of gyaos]

Heisei Gamera and Godzilla ’54

GFW Anguirus and Titanosaurus [nicknamed Team Dino-Thunder]

GFW Kind Seesar and Toho King Kong

The One and Showa Gigan

Monster X and Showa Anguirus

ROM III King Ghidorah and Gorosaurus [King Ghidorah and his snack, as some put it]

Toon Godzilla-In-Name-Only [from Godzilla: The Animated series] and Showa King Seesar

Dagarah and Clover[field monster] [Parasite buddies]

Gomora and Rhiahn

King Cobra and Showa Rodan

Megaguirus and Jiger [Team Death Stinger!]

[Mechagodzilla] Kiryu and GMK Mothra [monsters brought back from dead to fight Godzilla]

Legion and Viras [the defending champions!]

Ultraman Next and GMK Baragon

Godzilla (Kiryu) and [Ogra from Gorgo], [two neutral monsters both driven by a search?]

Death Ghidorah and Gabara [both fought a heroic monster and their kid]

Something very inter got complicated by semifinals.

Super MechaGodzilla and Jet Jaguar

Dragonzord and All-Terraintula [robots used for evil despite officially being made to protect the innocent]

Showa Hedorah and Buraki [from D-Wars]

Biollante and Frankenstein [ Science abomination buddies!]

MOGUERA and Gamera (G:TB)

Battra (Larva) and Mothra (Showa)

Orga and Megalon

Destoroyah and Varan

Showa MechaGodzilla and Cyber-GINO

King Ghidorah (Heisei) and King Ghidorah (GMK) [Team Hydra Storm!]

Godzilla (Heisei) and Mothra (Kiryu)

Something amazing happened in the semi-finals

[Battle Master] 10:10 pm: Match 01: [Battle Master] 10:11 pm: Gomora and Rhiahn [Battle Master] 10:11 pm: vs. [Battle Master] 10:11 pm: MOGUERA and Gamera (G:TB) [Battle Master] 10:11 pm: Battlefield: Odo Island [Battle Master] 10:11 pm: Match 02: [Battle Master] 10:12 pm: King Ghidorah (Heisei) and King Ghidorah (GMK) [Battle Master] 10:12 pm: vs. [Battle Master] 10:12 pm: Grand King Ghidorah and Gorosaurus [Battle Master] 10:12 pm: Battlefield: Mt. Fuji

Grand Ghidorah pretty much has this tournament in the bag at this point. It will take a massive upset of epic proportions for him to go down now. GKG was the only one I couldn't think of a decent strategy for Heisei Ghidorah to pull out a win against. His shield and firepower are just way too much for my Hydra Storm team to win...---Orga777

And something did,

In that match of three king ghidorahs: Radioactive fused future pets, mystical dragons, and space monster

--Grand King Ghidorah and Gorosaurus-- [Battle Master] 9:06 pm: Grand King Ghidorah Focus: Rolls 3--Will target King Ghidorah (GMK) [Battle Master] 9:06 pm: Grand King Ghidorah Attack: Rolls 23--HIT! [Battle Master] 9:06 pm: King Ghidorah (GMK) Defense: Rolls 52--Unsuccessful [Battle Master] 9:07 pm: Gorosaurus Focus: Rolls 3--Will target King Ghidorah (GMK) [Battle Master] 9:07 pm: Gorosaurus Attack: Rolls 07--HIT! [Battle Master] 9:07 pm: King Ghidorah (GMK) Defense: Rolls 78—Unsuccessful

Special Rules: Monster Guardian of Yamato - If one of the other Guardians of Yamato (Baragon [GMK] or Mothra [GMK]) has been DEFEATED in the tournament, King Ghidorah may draw upon its energies to re-roll his first MISSED HIT and increase his own PN by +10..If BOTH other Guardians have been defeated, he is allowed two re-rolls and a +20 increase to his PN.If King Ghidorah is the LAST GUARDIAN remaining in the tournament, he is allowed a final all-out attack when he is defeated, drawing upon the energies of all three Guardian spirits to try to annihilate his enemy. On a roll of 1-2 on a d6, the attack is successful but BOTH KING GHIDORAH AND HIS OPPONENT vanish from the battlefield AND THE TOURNAMENT.

[Battle Master] 9:11 pm: Monster Guardian of Yamato Focus: Rolls 2--Will target Grand King Ghidorah [Battle Master] 9:12 pm: Monster Guardian of Yamato Final Attack: Rolls 1--SUCCESS! [Battle Master] 9:12 pm: Both King Ghidorah (GMK) and Grand King Ghidorah have been removed from the tournament

[Battle Master] 9:07 pm: After 2 rounds, the damage is: [Battle Master] 9:07 pm: King Ghidorah (Heisei) and King Ghidorah (GMK) - 0/GONE [Battle Master] 9:07 pm: Grand King Ghidorah and Gorosaurus - GONE/1

King Ghidorah, the heisei version then killed Gorosaurus over the course of three rounds, with even Gorosaurus’s attempts at playing guerilla warfare failing.

But after that there was a question: Who would be (Heisiei) King Ghidorah’s partner?

Now, those of you who read the transcripts may have noticed that GMK Ghidorah sacrificed himself to destroy Grand King Ghidorah. This means he is out of the tournament. The question immediately arose, "who will replace him?" Gorosaurus was immediately suggested as a replacement. This might have seemed like a silly suggestion, but we all really like Gorosaurus. Furthermore, he got to the semi-finals, and was the last member standing of his team. We figured he'd be more worthy than any of those schmucks who didn't make it past inclusion voting. So, here is the final matchup: [Battle Master] 9:26 pm: The final match of DD X-2 will be... [Battle Master] 9:26 pm: King Ghidorah (Heisei) and Gorosaurus [Battle Master] 9:26 pm: vs. [Battle Master] 9:26 pm: MOGUERA and Gamera (G:TB) [Battle Master] 9:27 pm: Battlefield: Infant Island Gorosaurus LIVES!

The version of King Ghidorah created by time traveling terrorists who strangled Godzilla till he foamed at the mouth.

with Gorosaurus, the plain looking dinosaur created for a movie adaptation of the King Kong Rankin-Bass cartoon, whose suit happened to be lying around for the big monster crossover movie...where they paralyzed King Ghidora with a sneak attack from behind

(His uh, wings and tails don’t move after that.)

Up against

MOGUERA, mecha with more firepower than Mechagodzilla

and Toto, a young Gamera in training from Gamera: The Brave

The battle was so epic I included a link to it.

Explanation though: Gorosaurus’s “Terrain Master” rule allows them to possibly make an extra surprise attack each turn due to being a jungle predator who once snuck up on King Ghidorah. Toto, as a heroic type was given the special rule to make an attack when they first seem defeated, giving them the chance to tie the score and continue the battle.

Go read if you want, I’ll wait.

so yeah

MOGUERA goes down from alternating attacks. Toto was outnumbered. Little plucky guy then immediately takes out Heisei Ghidorah, leaving him and Gorosaursau

But Gorosaurus has been using extra attacks to target Toto the entire match, like the Sharptooth going after Littlefoot.

Now though, in the final round they start giving him buffs

[Battle Master] 9:22 pm: 54 - (Original Godzilla) - The kaiju manages to surprise its foe with an unexpected attack. Regardless of whether this roll is a HIT or MISS, the kaiju [Gorosaurus] may immediately make ANOTHER Attack Roll. [Battle Master] 9:27 pm: Terrain Master Bonus Attack: Rolls 56--Miss--Primal Number! [Battle Master] 9:27 pm: 56 - (Godzilla, KotM) - The kaiju's furious assault causes it to swell with power. Any Wounds it has already received are REDUCED by 1 to reflect the kaiju's renewed strength. [Battle Master] 9:27 pm: Gamera (G:TB) Attack: Rolls 90--Miss [Battle Master] 9:27 pm: Gorosaurus Attack: Rolls 02--PRIMAL NUMBER! [Battle Master] 9:28 pm: 02 - (GMK) - The kaiju unleashes an attack of hideous power, instantly dealing D3 wounds on its enemy. However, so great is the toll this attack takes that the kaiju must FORFEIT ITS OWN NEXT TURN. A 3-sided die is rolled to determine how much damage its opponent receives. [Battle Master] 9:28 pm: The roll is 3. Gamera (G:TB) has been dealt 3 wounds

Gorosaurus has dealt three wounds to Toto who already has two. And gorosaurus already healed one wound. There is no way for Toto to roll dice in a way so as to tie so as to continue the match

But he can still go down being spiteful.

[Battle Master] 9:28 pm: 01 - Critical Hit - The kaiju deals *2* points of damage against its opponent. This CAN NOT be defended against.

[Battle Master] 9:28 pm: Combat has concluded

[Battle Master] 9:29 pm: The final damage tally is: [Battle Master] 9:29 pm: MOGUERA and Gamera (G:TB) - 3/5 [Battle Master] 9:29 pm: King Ghidorah (Heisei) and Gorosaurus - 3/3

Yeah, no one was likely conscious by the end of this fight.

#daikaiju desumacchi #tabletop games #sorta

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tragedybunny · 5 years

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The Blade’s Edge - A League of Legends Fanfiction - Chapter 13

They had a simple arrangement. She was the weapon to be used on his enemies. Things get more complicated when emotions bleed into what should simple. Now the two of them find themselves on the precipice of something that was entirely unexpected.

He’s already gone when I awake, of course, the sun indicating that it’s already near mid-day. How do I still feel tired? I roll over and stare at the canopy above me, reliving the feeling of him undressing me last night and pulling me into his arms before sleep overtook me. It’s maddening. No, I’ll continue in my resolve to see nothing in it, to not give meaning where there is none. I suppress the memory and pull myself from bed, heading to my room to dress for the day. A note waits for me on my dressing table, written in his measured script, exacting and precise, as would be expected from him.

“I trust tonight the Guild will be meeting and you will take control of it with little resistance. Once you have that firmly in hand I require a task of you. Augustus Montrose must be eliminated tonight, he’s begun to realize the alliance between his sister and myself. As always, take care of yourself. - J”

“PS. I was informed that you were almost out of that violet perfume you always wear.”

I finally notice the ornate glass bottle to the left of where the note was, full of the aforementioned scent. My reward for being a good little pet. I wonder what Augustus’s death will earn me. That poor little idiot, he tried so desperately to be important and powerful, he’s earned a death sentence instead. I’d almost feel bad for him, but getting in that deep with any faction in Noxian politics is basically asking to be struck down at any moment.

After I’m dressed I ring for Gwen and she appears in short order, always eager to be of use. “Yes Madame.” She has a sober look to her face, as if she already has sensed why she’s here.

I sit at the dressing table and examine the wide bruise that has bloomed on the right side of my face. “I’ll need your kitchen boy to come through, I need to know where Montrose intends to be tonight.”

In the mirror, I see her expression change to one of smug self-satisfaction. “As it turns out, I took the initiative to inquire after him this morning. He complained that tonight another elaborate dinner party has been planned, even after all the Solstice revels. Montrose is celebrating some new, powerful friends he’s made.”

I stop and turn towards her. “Did he mention a woman at all, unusually pale?” How deep is he in, what are we about to stir up?

She bites her lip and shakes her head. “No, just some of the usual nobility who rankle at the loss of privilege they’ve experienced. He’ll stay in the kitchens after dinner and the other servants have been dismissed. Knock if you see no movement inside.”

Well, we won’t be taking a piece off the board that she’ll desperately miss. “Perfect, thank you, Gwen, that will be all.” I dismiss her with a gesture and turn my attention to readying myself for the Guild tonight. Augustus will be easy to find when I’m ready for him.

Weapons sharpened and muscles stretched in case of confrontation, Inara, Lark, and I gather early in the Guild’s headquarters, finding it empty thanks to a generous bribe I supplied via Lark. The unassuming building sits amidst a group of others housing various government functions. While most of High Command still functions from within the Immortal Bastion itself, bureaucracy has spread like a fungus to the area around it. It’s a reflection of the temple district in that way, both of them evolving over the years with Noxus itself, Old Town pressing up against them both and the Bastion as the nobility grappled for power. In times past, the Grand General dwelt in the Immortal Bastion, making it the ultimate seat of power. Jericho is different, preferring the control he has over his own family home to the mysteries and hidden spaces where a plot could come to fruition at any time. Of course, he still has unfettered access to it anytime he wishes. The Guild’s place here would shock outsiders who don’t understand it’s place within Noxus. Assassination has never been a method that our government or military has considered off-limits. The position in Intelligence of a Guild Officer enables the government to make use of its services at will, effectively making the it an unofficial branch of High Command.

I spent countless hours here as a child before our move to Shurima, and many more once we returned. I know all its twists and turns and nooks and crannies as well as that of my own family’s home. I even pass a small alcove I remember as a favorite of mine for spying, shrinking into the shadows as a child to listen to the adults around me. We clear the rambling structure room by room, including any hidden ones and secret passages that I know of, ensuring no one is lying in wait. Next, all secondary exits are secured, leaving only the main door as the way in or out. When I’m satisfied that everything is in place, Inara and I retreat to a side room off the main hall, to await or moment.

They trickle in through the next couple of hours, Inara and I taking shifts pressed up against the door to listen, some voices we recognize, some are unknown. Someone opens a stored cask of ale, they drink and converse, some begin to openly mourn the fallen. There’s a rising tide among them, confirmed dead members, Marius among them, who is targeting them? For what reason? Suspicions are aimed everywhere, including the Grand General. When the time is right, Lark raps on the wall next our hiding space, three sharp knocks, it’s time.

We emerge and push through the crowd to the very center, gasps and whispers following in our wake as recognition dawns on them. Time seems slow, this is it, the moment there’s no going back from. Now that I’ve come to it though, I know that every step I’ve taken has lead me here. Perhaps there is such a thing as destiny, and this is mine. Destiny or not, I am no longer General Du Couteau’s shamed daughter, and no longer the Grand General’s pet, I am Commander of the Assasin’s Guild, a force and entity in my own right.

“Brothers and sisters, your leaders are dead. They were weak and have paid the price for that. I stand before you now to take my rightful place in their stead, as your Commander.” Raucous noise breaks out among them, the three we recruited before this passionately on my side in the debate.

The din reaches its crescendo and a woman steps to the forefront. “You would deliver us into the hands of the Usurper, to be used as his weapon.”

I snort, someone was bound to put this forth. “The Grand General is the rightful ruler of Noxus, along with the others of the Trifarix. The Guild will support High Command as it always has, nothing more, nothing less.”

“So says the Grand Whore. Do you believe you can deceive…” She’s cut off by the dagger that flies from my hand and buries in her chest. I’m weary of the same nonsense being spewed over and over again.

No other moves to challenge me, they’re undecided, for the moment. “As I was saying.” Inara covers the fallen in a cloak and moves her discreetly out of the crowd. “Our numbers have dwindled, our coffers are depleted, and those arrogant bastard ‘guilds’ take our potential recruits. Let us rectify this, and find our strength once again. We’ll scour the lessor guilds from Noxus, once and for all, and become the power we were meant to be.”

Father made a grave error in his leadership, he finally succumbed to the Black Rose. His single-minded pursuit of their objectives took a toll on the Guild. I can see it in their faces, they hunger for a return to glory. The murmuring returns, this time it begins to swing in my favor. She took down Marius, we would have the Grand General’s support, she’s here and Marcus is not. Lark joins in, adding to the momentum, a vote is called for. I take note and the slim few who still dissent, they’ll have to be watched. When it finally ends, I’m officially Guild Commander Katarina Du Couteau, with Lark and Inara acting as seneschals.

My first order of business is just as I promised, both the Guild and Jericho, I assign a few of our members to begin tracking our competition. My second act is far less exciting, Inara and I head to the archives to understand the degree of disorder things have fallen to, leaving Lark to monitor for any fresh discord. I have some time before it will be clear to go after Augustus. I had briefly considered assigning someone else to the task, but I’m familiar with the Montrose estate. I suppose it’s fitting, he once said I stole his heart, now I’ll steal his life.

The Guild records are a shambles that reflect the last few years of leadership. I thumb through the latest records, noting the brazen embezzlement, and stare longingly at the fire. Inara laughs at me from behind a stack of loose papers belonging to gods know where. “Didn’t think this would be the hard part?”

I lay my head down on the desk. “How did it get this bad? Is this a Guild of idiots?”

“This is what happens when we rely on anyone who volunteers to do this. We only get thieves and idiots.” She sighs as she tosses the stack back down in front of her.

“Nevermind, I resign my position.” That gets a small laugh from her and her eyes brighten a bit. I stand and stretch, time to get the blood flowing back into my limbs. “I’m done, I’ve got some other business to handle.”

“Happy hunting, Commander.” For all that we have a mess ahead of us to deal with, there’s satisfaction about her. It makes me even more proud of what we’ve accomplished here tonight.

The city is quiet, still wrapped in a snowy mantle from the other night. I move through the streets in welcome solitude, reaching the Montrose estate with ease. With my cloak tucked around me, I watch the kitchen from the garden, someone has left a lamp burning so I can see the vague shapes within. When I’m finally satisfied that no unwanted company is around, I approach, keeping my cloak tight, and tap lightly. It only takes a second before a scrawny young man with dirty blonde hair cracks the door, the corners of his mouth up turning into a vicious smile the second he sees me. “He’s saying a drunken farewell to his guests, a girl awaits him in the blue parlor upstairs.” With that he vanishes up the servant stairs, leaving me with free reign.

With the other servants all withdrawn to their quarters the halls of the manor are as silent as the grave. I cautiously stalk through them, not making a sound, nearing the blue parlor. My plan is to take the girl first and wait for him. Quick and clean, he won’t even know what happened. Then I hear it, from a room back near the main staircase, that ancient snarling voice. “Augustus, you spoiled little hedonist, where are you?”

“Coming Grandmother!” His impatient reply comes from the bottom of the stairs. Life is good sometimes.

The old woman is ensconced in an over-decorated bedroom that’s rotten with faded glory. I slip in and silently shut the door behind me. She scrambles to prop herself up in bed, she knows I’m not her grandson. Her eyes have begun to fail though, so that’s all she can make out. “Wh-who’s there?” She summons some power to her voice, she’s so used to being obeyed. She and many others are relics of old Noxus, a time when the nobility were parasites, feeding off the strength of the Empire. They are a vain, petty, self-absorbed, lot whose time has passed.

I steal to her side and she makes a quiet gasp as her eyes finally reveal me. “Death Lady Montrose, death is among you tonight.” She makes to cry out but my hand slams down over her mouth. “This will be the fate of all who refuse to bend to the Empire’s new order.” I slide my blade between her ribs and down into her heart, a task made easy since she has no strength to struggle against me with. She slumps forward, her lifeblood draining into her fine bed covers.

There are footsteps in the hall, Augustus finally decided to answer his grandmother’s summons, and I slip behind the door to await him. It's only a moment before he throws it open snarling. “What do you want, you old bat?”

Three steps in and he finally takes in the scene before him, coming to a dead stop. I softly shut the door once again. He sucks in a breath as if he wants to scream and then I’m right behind him, breathing down his neck quite literally. He laughs, a mirthless sound. “Two nights. I was allowed to live two nights after getting too close to you. He’s certainly possessive.”

“Don’t be dramatic. This is about something entirely beyond you and me.” He’s unnervingly pliant as I put the dagger to his throat. Poor, weak Augustus, he doesn’t even know how to resist me. He sniffles when he feels it against his skin, all his bravado evaporated. He’s not the first I’ve seen to shed tears at their end and I’m not inclined to be moved by it.

“I would’ve done great things, you could have joined me at my side, Kat.” The words are marred by a strangled sobbing that he fights to keep from overtaking him. Back firm, but shoulders quaking, he struggles to meet his end with dignity.

“I’m already doing great things.” I dig the edge of the blade into his flesh and a whimper escapes him. His knees buckle immediately and I step back from him as his life flows into the plush carpet. It’s not long before a shudder marks his last breath.

Surveying the carnage around me I realize I may have gone a bit far with the old woman’s death. If Coraline faces repercussions from it Jericho will be furious. But then again, I smile to myself, it had been deeply satisfying putting an end to that bulwark of old Noxus. Either way, it is done and can’t be changed. I’ll need to slip out before that girl gets impatient and comes looking for Augustus.

I find the kitchen door left slightly ajar after heading back down the servant stairs. I shut it fast behind me and return to the waiting darkness of the night. It’s been a long night and I feel it in the stitched wound in my leg and the aching bruise on my face, and it feels wondrous. Tonight I am triumphant. I finally have what my father once promised to me. I took it with strength and cunning, as a Noxian should. Would father be proud? Perhaps I should go ask mother, a cruel, petty voice inside whispers. No, forget it. I’m beyond her, she’s nothing, a ghost haunting the ruin of her own life. The rage I have toward her will not be so easily extinguished though.

I focus myself back on the Guild, that thundering sensation as the crowd declared for me. I feel pride welling up in me, my confidence soaring. I’m damned self-satisfied and achingly confident as I approach the house. I wonder if Jericho is awake. He shouldn’t be but he rarely sleeps as much as he ought to. If he is, we should celebrate tonight’s success. The thought of him whispering in my ear about how pleased he is with me sends a shiver through me.

I’m broken out of my reverie by the sight of Dras shutting the gate. Odd that it’s open at this hour. He looks up at me and quickly looks away, but movement on the stairs has already drawn my attention. Jericho, he stops at the door when he hears me on the walk behind him. Breathing becomes difficult as I ascend the stairs to where he’s paused. I’ve always known I wasn’t the only one, I’ve just never had to viscerally confront it until this moment.

“Kat.” He already sounds like he’s going to attempt some insincere apology. I brush past him, an ache spreading through my chest. Then it hits me, the cloying smell of decaying roses, the scent that always marks her presence. Her, why her? Of course, it’s all another little power game to him. He puts a hand on my shoulder.

I shake it off with a violent shrug. “Don’t touch me.” I need to get away from him. I feel my eyes start to sting. No, I can’t do this in front of him.

He cuts in front of me, blocking my way to the stairs. “Don’t be like this.” He’s so irritatingly calm compared to the storm exploding inside me.

I put my hand up to ward him off. “It’s fine.” My voice somehow remains steady. “Exclusivity wasn’t part of our arrangement. I just want to be alone.”

He steps forward, stubbornly ignoring everything I said, and reaches out to put his hand on my cheek. Gods, that normally has the power to melt me. “If it is fine, why are you being dramatic?” How typical of him.

“Fuck you.” I shove his hand away from me. “You always have to have the last word. You could’ve just let me walk away.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes shut for a second, as though I’m the one who’s offended him. “Fine go. I’d rather not put up with a childish tantrum.”

Childish, it stings in ways I can’t define. The pain of it all twists and transforms, becoming fury. I close the distance between us, tilting my head to glare up at him. “Maybe you’d prefer to not put up with me at all? I can arrange that.”

“Try it. What have you ever accomplished in your life without me.” He snaps back at me.

Black washes over my vision, my thoughts vanishing into rage, and I lash out, striking him across the face. He catches my wrist with his left hand as I pull back. That roiling anger too quickly vanishes, replaced by a sudden dread as his eyes begin to smolder an unnatural crimson. I’ve never born witness to the demon truly unleashed. An aura of terrible power blazes around him, filling the hall with a haunting flickering red light. I quake slightly as I feel those unliving fingers dig into my wrist. “You ungrateful little bitch.” Another voice speaks along with his. Is it him or the demon in control now?

Instead of the unnatural warmth of his touch that I know so well, a burning begins to singe my skin. “Let go!” I try to pull away and I flashback to that night that started all of this, a similar altercation between us, how frighteningly strong he actually was. “Jericho, you’re hurting me.” In fear and desperation, I step forward and slam my shoulder into his chest.

He inhales sharply, backing up, and let’s go. His eyes close and that terrible power dissipates, coiling itself back inside him. I turn and flee, scared, humiliated, heartbroken. “Kat wait. I’m so sorry.” He calls after me, but I can’t even turn to face him.

I slam the door to my room behind me and collapse into the window seat. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I try and steady my rapidly beating heart and panting breath. I should leave, just forget whatever this absurd arrangement has become and go. I look down at my wrist, a scarlet, irritated handprint wraps around it. I shift and a sheath digs into my back, causing me to recoil as though someone was behind me. “Godsdamn it.” I pull out the dagger and send it across the room to embed in the wall. “Damn it all.” I rip the other blade from my back and toss it to the ground with a snarl before pulling my legs back up to my chest. Why can’t I find it in me to leave?

I stare apathetically out at the dark city until there’s a soft knock at the door. I’ll have to face him sooner or later anyway. “You wouldn’t go away if I told you to, so you might as well come in.”

He doesn’t meet my eyes as he enters, genuine guilt for once written on his features. “I wanted to apologize. You told me that I should not wait to do so. So I am here. Peace offering?” He holds out a bottle of wine, Shuriman, dark and bitter, very fitting.

Perhaps I am mad, but now that he’s here I don’t want him to leave me alone. I take the bottle and gesture to the seat next to me. As he sits I take a long pull from it. “Well, I’m listening.”

He fixes his gaze on the floor. “That was...not entirely me. However, losing control, that was my fault. And I do beg your forgiveness. I will understand if you do not wish to give it.”

After everything tonight I’ve grown numb and his words leave me oddly empty. But that lack of feeling brings some clarity, he’s not the only one who bears responsibility for what happened. “I shouldn’t have hit you. I’m sorry about that.” I take another pull off the bottle. “Interesting choice for an apology, what should I make of it?”

He shrugs. “I was sure you would be gone. I actually planned to drink myself to sleep.”

I hand him back the bottle. “Would you really allow that?”

At last, he turns to look up at me, our eyes locking. “I would not stop you if that is what you really wanted.” He passes the bottle back to me.

I take another long pull. “And where would I go? What would I do?” Our fingers touch as he takes the bottle back from my hand and he brushes his thumb along mine.

“You would work something out. You don’t really need me. That’s the truth, despite what I said earlier. ” Is it? I stretch my legs out into his lap and hiss as pain shoots through my leg. He looks at the floor again. “I forgot about your leg.” He sets the bottle to the side and takes my hand, looking pointedly at my wrist. “Should I go? Am I only making things worse?”

I don’t think I could bear it if he did. “No, it’s fine, stay.” I leave my hand in his. He squeezes it ever so slightly as if he’s worried I’ll make him let go.

Suddenly he leans over, arms around my waist and leaning his head against my chest. “I would prefer it if you didn’t leave though. I would miss you.”

Why is it that the only mercy that exists in my soul is for him? I wrap my arms around his shoulders and return his embrace. “I’m not going to leave.”

“Swear it?” he asks softly.

“I swear I’m not leaving.” I kiss the top of his head and lean my cheek against it.

He sighs as though he’s been relieved of a great burden. “And I swear to take more care from now on.” He pulls himself even tighter against me. “My Kitten.” Does he really not know that oath or not, I can be nowhere but by his side?

#swain #Katarina #swain x katarina #League of Legends #league of legends fanfction #tw domestic violence #jericho swain #katarina du couteau #swain league of legends #katarina league of legends #the blade's edge #my fanfiction #my writing

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meleuki · 5 years

Text

g2k me uncomfortably well

1. What is your middle name?

It’s my grandmother’s first name. I’m not gonna say what it is tho.

2. How old are you?

I am an age.

3. When is your birthday?

31st of March, same day as Angus Young hell yeah.

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Aries

5. What is your favourite colour?

Black, Purple & Red.

6. What’s your lucky number?

1,714 (long story).

7. Do you have any pets?

I have one little dog, he’s cute asf.

8. Where are you from?

Australia.

9. How tall are you?

5′4/5′5, I can’t tell most of the time.

10. What shoe size are you?

US 9 or 10

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

um like 12, but I only wear about 5 of them regularly.

12. What was your last dream about?

some dude turning into this cannibalistic animal type thing & me becoming friends with two ghost boys who murdered a bunch of people, and then got murdered and having to figure the rest of the case out for them. (supernatural has kinda been rubbing off on my dreams lmao.)

13. What talents do you have?

I can play guitar and piano. I can cook pretty good?? I also have a talent for being a dumb ass.

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I don’t believe I am.

15. Favourite song?

atm, Enter Sandman by Metallica

16. Favourite movie?

IT (2017), or, Scream.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

oh golly, I don’t know actually. I just think I need someone who has some confidence, a kind soul and an open mind, and is able to put a smile on my face even when i dont want it. So far, I haven’t met someone who has caught my eye, but i hope one day I do.

18. Do you want children?

Yes, YES.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

no I don’t. I want one in a garden area type thingy.

20. Are you religious?

i’m not sure.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yeah like 4-5 times.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

nope, I don’t plan on it.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I haven’t.

24. Baths or showers?

both

25. What color socks are you wearing?

I’m not wearing any.

26. Have you ever been famous?

pft, nope.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

I would, but only for the reach of my music.

28. What type of music do you like?

Rock ‘n Roll, Blues, Jazz, Indie, Classical, Punk, etc. (pretty much anything)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

I have never.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

four. two under my head, and two on the side of my bed.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i’m either on my right or my left side, one leg up so my knee is diagonal with my stomach and one stretched out, one hand at my chest and one arm resting over my side.

32. How big is your house?

one story, medium size ish.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

coffee... and maybe sometimes I’ll have a smoothie.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

yeppp, I have. It was ages ago tho.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

I’ve only really ever done archery on summer camps or school camps. Although I was pretty good at it whenever I tried.

36. Favourite clean word?

spellbinding

37. Favorite swear word?

F U C K

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Maybe a little over two days.

39. Do you have any scars?

I do. Some on my knees, a lot on my back and my hips. My fingers are pretty scratched up a lot too.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

‘scuse me what? no, never.

41. Are you a good liar?

Indeed I am. But I don’t like to lie.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I’d like to think I’m good at reading people.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

I can do a pretty generic American accent and a stupid posh British one.

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I’d say I don’t, especially hearing me compared to some other Australians - my accent isn’t strong at all. You can definitely tell where I’m from though.

45. What is your favourite accent?

Russian, or German.

46. What is your personality type?

Chaotic dumb bitch, who rants about nature, peace and love.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

um, my macpac jacket, which was like $300. (It was also a birthday present from my mum, and she worked there at the time so it was cheap.)

48. Can you curl your tongue?

I think I can??

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie.

50. Left or right-handed?

right-handed. A bitch can do jack shit with her left.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

I used to be, I kinda want a pet tarantula now tbh.

52. Favourite food?

Chicken noodle soup, fight me.

53. Favourite foreign food?

Lasagne.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Usually, I’m pretty messy, I can’t work in an environment that is completely clean, but somedays I just like to clean shit up.

55. Most used phrase?

“Sorry, what?”

56. Most used word?

definitely, “bro”.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

if a shower is included, like an hour. But without a shower, like 20mins.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

No, I don’t.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck them. (how tf you gon taste a lollipop if you bite it??)

60. Do you talk to yourself?

All the fucking time. When I’m writing I talk myself through the story by mumbling the words to myself a lot. Other times I might be doing the dishes, getting dressed or doing something mundane and I’ll just begin to have a conversation with myself.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

bitch yes, all the fucking time.

62. Are you a good singer?

I like to think that I’m okay.

63. Biggest Fear?

Losing my ability to see.

64. Are you a gossip?

No, unless the person in question has done something shitty to me or a close friend, AND I will only talk about with a close friend.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I don’t mind either way, but long hair makes my knees weak.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

bitch, HAHAH, nope.

68. Favourite school subject?

English, but really only when we’re doing creative writing.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Smack me right in the middle.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

nope, never ever, and I never plan on it.

71. What makes you nervous?

A lot of shit, not gonna lie.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

yES, the dark stems from my main fear, loss of my sight. I can’t be in control of the situations around me.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends what kind of mistakes we’re taking here.

74. Are you ticklish?

yes, and I fucken hate it.

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

I don’t think I ever have. Maybe accidentally?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

people call me a mum? So, I guess?

77. Have you ever drank underage?

wtf no, who do u think I am wtf???? JK, yes, all the time. Whenever I get the chance.

78. Have you ever done drugs?

ask @xx-kurt-cocaine--xx .

79. Who was your first real crush?

Some dude named Tyler, he turned out to be an ass tho.

80. How many piercings do you have?

Just my ears, but I want like four more.

81. Can you roll your R’s?

a little, but only for like two seconds.

82. How fast can you type?

@livewiredroger tells me I’m an aggresive typer so, I guess I’m pretty fast at punching the fuck outta my keyboard.

83. How fast can you run?

ok, kinda hate running, it hurts my tits. But I’m a sprinter, long-distances kill me.

84. What colour is your hair?

black, dark brown and honey brown. I dyed it black and it’s growing out, looks cool tho so I don’t mind.

85. What color is your eyes?

blue, green, grey. I don’t know which one, I’ve been told all of them too many times.

86. What are you allergic to?

nothing that I know of. Pretty sure I’ve got an intolerence to mushrooms tho, and dairy does weird things to my stomach.

87. Do you keep a journal?

I do, I haven’t written in it in a few weeks tho. Reading back through my depressive episodes isn’t a fun trip.

88. What do your parents do?

job-wise? They’re both teachers for primary school kids.

89. Do you like your age?

I guess? I dunno.

90. What makes you angry?

A lot of things, but I’ve learnt to control it, mostly.

91. Do you like your own name?

I don’t hate it.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I have. Boy names; East, Patrick, Samuel. Girls names; Piper, Lila, Milan.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I would love a boy. If I had a girl I would love her all the same. But right now, a boy is what I have in mind.

94. What are you strengths?

kill em with kindness

95. What are your weaknesses?

I can be very forward, or very frustrated.

96. How did you get your name?

my mum just turned to my dad and was like, “hey what about this?” and my dad was like, “yup, sure thing.”

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

NAh.

98. Do you have any scars?

I answered this one already?

99. Colour of your bedspread?

blue and beige.

100. Colour of your room?

One wall is aqua blue, the others are white. Mostly blue aesthetic I guess.

I tag: @guns-n-crue @gretavanyeeeeet @solohqrry @punkslap @livewiredroger

@antheasnow @malibubarbievince

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lazymysteries-blog · 5 years

Text

The Laci Peterson Case: Did Her Husband Really Do It?

Laci Peterson

Laci Denise Peterson was born on May 4, 1975, in Modesto, California to parents, Sharon and Dennis Robert Rocha. She had an older brother named, Brent Rocha and a half-sister named, Amy Woodward. Laci’s parents divorced when she was very young and both parents eventually got remarried. As a child, Laci loved working on the dairy farm that her family owned and gardening with her mother. That love for the outdoors and plants would influence her later in life.

Laci graduated from Thomas Downey High school where she was a cheerleader before attending California Polytechnic State University where she majored in Ornamental Horticulture. It was during her college years in 1994 that Laci would meet her future husband, Scott Peterson. They met at a cafe her friend worked at and they immediately hit it off. In 1997 they got married and three years later in October 2000, they purchased a house in Laci’s home town Modesto, California. During this time Scott was working at a European fertilizer company and Laci was working part-time as a substitute teacher while dedicating the rest of her time to being a “perfect” housewife according to her mother and half-sister. In 2002 Laci became pregnant with their first child. They were expecting a baby boy on February 16, 2003, who they planned to name Conner.

The Disappearance of Laci Peterson

December 24, 2002, started as a normal day for the Petersons. Laci was watching cooking shows, preparing to mop the floor, and getting her home ready for Christmas the next day. At 9:30 am Scott left his home to go fishing at the Berkeley Marina. Laci Peterson was never seen alive again. At least that’s what Scott Peterson claims. Can we really trust him though? Well, let’s see… Other than Scott the last two people who had spoken to Laci were her mother, Sharon and her half-sister, Amy. On December 23 both Laci and Scott went to a hair salon that Amy worked at to get Scott’s monthly hair cut and that night around 8:30 pm Laci spoke on the phone with her mother. They had no idea that that would be the last time they would speak to Laci again.

At 2:15 pm on the 24th Scott sent a message to his wife saying, “Hey, beautiful. It’s 2:15. I’m leaving Berkely.” When Scott returned home he saw that his wife’s 1996 Land Rover was parked in the driveway and he made his way into their home. Upon entering the house he noticed that his wife was not home but it didn’t worry him too much, he assumed that she was with her mother. Scott told the police that once he got home he took a shower and washed his clothes because they were wet from fishing. Multiple news outlets including the New York Post and The Modesto Bee report that Ron Grantski, Laci’s stepfather, reported her missing after Scott had called Laci’s mother at 5:15 pm when Laci still had not returned home. However, ABC News reports that Scott was the first person to report Laci as a missing person from their Modesto home.

When police arrived at the scene and began searching the home they found Laci’s sunglasses, keys, and wallet in her purse in a closet. The dinner table was set for the following night and one of the detectives on the case found a phone book opened to a defense lawyer. During the search, police noticed Scott’s extremely calm demeanor. That night the two lead detectives questioned Scott. Originally Scott said that he had gone golfing that day but then later backtracked and stated that he had gone to the Berkely Marina. The police force immediately launched a search for Laci Peterson. Within the first two days of Laci’s disappearance, before any huge media coverage, there had already been 900 people involved in the search for her. After nationwide coverage of the case, that number almost doubled in size to over 1,500 people searching for Laci. A reward of $25,000 was offered to anyone with info on Laci’s disappearance but that price would end up gradually increasing to $500,000.

The Murder of Laci Peterson

On April 13, 2003, a couple who were out walking their dog found the body of a late-term fetus at the San Fransisco Bay shore in Richmond’s Point Isabel Regional Shoreline Park. The umbilical cord of the corpse was still attached to its body and it had been torn instead of cut or clamped. Nylon tape was around the neck of the fetus and there was a large cut on the fetus’ body. Just one day later the body of a previously pregnant woman was found washed up on the eastern rocky shoreline one mile away from where the fetus was found by someone passing by. The body was so decomposed that it was unrecognizable. She was decapitated and her limbs were missing. The forensic pathologist determined through DNA testing that the bodies were, in fact, Laci and Conner Peterson. The forensic pathologist claimed that he couldn’t determine how Laci or Conner died or whether or not the fetus had been born alive or dead but then went on to contradict himself in court when he said, “It was her death that caused Conners while he was in the uterus.”

The conviction of Scott Peterson in the murder of Laci and Conner Peterson

On January 17, 2003, it was publicized that Scott had been having an extramarital affair with a massage therapist named, Amber Frey. The affair had begun about mid-November and allegedly Scott had told Frey that he was a widower about two weeks before the disappearance of his wife. Shortly after Frey found out about Scott’s involvement in the disappearance of Laci Peterson she contacted the police and agreed to assist the police by secretly recording their phone conversations. According to Frey Scott had told her that he was celebrating the New Years’ Eve in Paris but later admitted that he had been in Modesto searching for his missing wife. At this point, the public, Laci’s family, and the police force were extremely suspicious of Scott Peterson.

On April 18, 2003, Scott was arrested near La Jolla golf course. He claimed to be meeting his brother and father for a game of golf. However, his car was filled with random things including $15,000 in cash, 12 viagra pills, survival gear, camping equipment, several changes of clothes, four cellphones, and two driver licenses. One was his and the other was his brothers. In addition to all of that his naturally brown hair was dyed blond. Scott and his family insisted that his car was in the condition that it was in because he had been living out of it in an attempt to avoid the press and his hair was dyed blond for the same reasons. According to Scott and his family, the police failed to mention that Scott had actually spoken to the police while his hair was dyed blonde.

On April 21, 2003, Scott was charged and pled not guilty to, two felony counts of murder with premeditation and special circumstances. Judge Al Girolami of Stanislaus County Superior Court moved his trial to San Mateo County because of the Bias of the people against Scott Peterson in Stanislaus County. Scott’s trial began on June 1, 2004, and on November 12, 2004, he was convicted of first-degree murder in the death of Laci Peterson and second-degree murder in the death of his unborn son Conner. He was sentenced to death but his order is postponed along with 737 death row prisoners in California for the duration of Gov. Gavin Newson’s tenure.

My Thoughts

Before I started doing my own research on this case I felt that there was a huge possibility that Scott was innocent, however, as I continued my search for answers I realized that the chances of him being innocent were a lot slimmer than I had originally thought. At this point, I can genuinely say that I have no idea whether or not he committed this crime but I do know one thing. If he isn’t guilty he is most definitely the world’s unluckiest man. Either that or karma really had a chip on its shoulder for Scott Peterson.

On one hand, I can’t help but notice that it seemed like from the start that the entire world hated him. Unfortunately, that hatred, no doubt, influenced Scott’s conviction. The fact of the matter is there is little to no physical evidence against Scott Peterson. The only physical evidence there was, in this case, was a single strand of Laci Peterson’s hair found in a pair of pliers in Scott’s boat. The rest of the “evidence” against Scott was purely demeanor driven. Which under normal circumstances just wouldn’t have been enough for someone to be convicted of a crime of this caliber. In addition to all of that, the way the investigation was conducted was so shady to me. The defense team performed a test to see if a 150-pound human can be thrown over a small boat and they determined that it could not be done. The court refused to conduct the test in trial claiming that it would be too dangerous to test which literally proves that they knew it couldn’t be done. The fact that they never even attempted to take this evidence into account just shows how unfair the trail was. In addition to that, the police failed to investigate a break-in that happened across the street from the Peterson’s house the day of Laci’s disappearance. Why not investigate something like that? Why not explore all avenues? This is not justice. This investigation was not conducted with Laci’s best interest at heart. Justice would have been investigating until the person convicted was absolutely guilty of the crime.

On the other hand, Scott’s demeanor is… to say the least creepy. On more than one occasion he has incriminated himself. Besides, the affair and the possible attempted getaway he has refused a polygraph test and acted suspiciously during interviews, most notably, in an interview with Diane Sawyer on ABC’s Good Morning America Scott referred to his wife in the past tense before her body was found saying, “She was amazing.” These things and many others have me asking myself why an innocent man would continuously do and say things that mirror the actions of someone who is guilty.

My final word is that I hope that Scott Peterson can have a retrial. Not for him but for Laci. I just can’t help but feel like so many questions about her murder have gone unanswered. That is just not fair to Laci or her family. What are your thoughts? Do you believe that Scott Peterson did it? Or do you think that it was someone else? Discuss your thoughts in the comment section.

Until next time, bye.

SOURCES

https://time.com/3461244/gone-girl-scott-peterson/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/blind-injustice/201801/is-scott-peterson-innocent-part-one

https://www.reddit.com/r/UnresolvedMysteries/comments/70rkn6/could_scott_peterson_be_innocent/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Laci_Peterson

https://www.eonline.com/uk/news/901220/secrets-lies-sadness-laci-peterson-s-murder-is-long-solved-but-here-s-why-the-case-won-t-rest

https://members.huntakiller.com/blog-articles/2017/8/16/new-docuseries-questions-scott-petersons-guilt

http://www.statementanalysis.com/scott-peterson/

https://www.bustle.com/articles/160363-what-happened-to-amber-frey-scott-petersons-girlfriend-shes-trying-to-put-the-case-behind-her

#truecrime #mysteries #lacipeterson #conspiracy #conspiracies

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luvrgirl555 · 5 years

Text

get to know me uncomfortably well

thanks for tagging me syd!! i’m doing this one to make up for all the other ones i had no motivation to do i’m sorry )): i love you so much @pitoftrash

1. What’s your middle name?

elizabeth

2. How old are you?

simultaneously an enthusiastic mom, your dad and eating like a 7 year old

3. When is your birthday?

may 30th!!

4. What’s your zodiac sign?

gemini!! moon in aquarius and sag rising

5. What’s your favourite colour?

red and g o l d

6. What’s your lucky number?

i don’t really have one? but 5 has consistently been in my life so let’s go with that

7. Do you have any pets?

the prettiest cat named sadie!!

8. Where are you from?

a small farm town in central utah!! everyone talks like a hick and i kinda have a stupid drawl

9. How tall are you?

5’2″ boys

10. What shoe size are you?

women’s size 5

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

my feet haven’t grown since straight up 5th grade so like 30 pairs?

12. What was your last dream about?

i don’t remember my dreams

13. What talents do you have?

being a dumb bitch, falling for people who are emotionally broken, being bad at math, flirting and i have good fashion sense

14. Are you psychic in any way?

does being empath count as being psychic?

15. Favourite song?

this is a fuckin impossible question but right now i’m rlly into girl in red and girls by her fuckin slaps @pitoftrash it’s our sad indie shit and it’s GAY you’d love it (of all the time: somebody to love or under pressure by queen)

16. Favourite movie?

the breakfast club cause i’m basic

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who loves unconditionally, willing to listen to my shit, goes on adventures with me, kisses lots, tons of cuddles, sings with me in the car, will talk about the things they like and let their eyes light up, funny

18. Do you want children?

i do!! but bringing a child into this world right now feels so selfish and there are so many kids out there who need loving homes so i wanna become their bisexual mom (:

19. Do you want a church wedding?

not really. i want a huge wedding that’s so fucking extra and over the top and god probably doesn’t wanna see that so

20. Are you religious?

i grew up mormon (yes i know it’s basically a cult) but do i believe in god? not really.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

i have been inside a hospital but i have never ever been admitted

22. Have you ever gotten in trouble with the law?

it was a dumb idea okay

and i’m a shitty driver

23. Have you met any celebrities?

my cousin was on agt???

24. Baths or showers?

showers mostly but i love a good bath bomb

25. What colour of socks are you wearing?

i'm not wearing socks

26. Have you ever been famous?

bruh that’s my dream

27. What type of music do you like?

all types really!! i’m into classic rock, alternative/punk, sad indie shit, i LOVE country and pop!!

28. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

no but i wannaaa

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

f i v e but they’re only around me and not actually underneath me

31. What position do you sleep in?

only ever on my back or else my back is fucked the next day

32. How big is your house?

pretty big for like the general house size?? but pretty small by utah’s standards.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i never eat breakfast

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

nope and i have no desire to

35. Have you ever tried archery?

yeah!! it was fun but i’m shit

36. Favourite clean word?

dang dang diggity dang a dang

37. Favourite swear word?

hella or fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleeping?

4 days

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

no lmao someone pls be into me

41. Are you a good liar?

yeah, i’m a gemini what do u expect

42. Are you a good judge of character?

my vision gets pretty fogged up by what people want to show me and what i want to see

43. Can you do any other accents than your own?

specifically, cockney and we did newsies last year for musical theatre so i can do a pretty mean manhattan accent y’all

44. Do you have a strong accent?

if i am talking loudly or passionately my hick/drawl kinda comes out oops

45. What’s your favourite accent?

australian

46. What is your personality type?

enfp

47. What’s your most expensive piece of clothing?

oh god!! my hoco dress was 90 bucks probably that?

48. Can you curl your tongue?

sure can!

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie (:

50. Left of right handed?

right-handed

51. Are you scared of spiders?

yeh i’m scared of all bugs including honeybees but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve rights

52. Favourite food?

i <<3 italian food and also chinese-american food!!

53. Favourite foreign food?

i do like korean food

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

messy but like organized messy

55. Most used phrase?

oh my god! or omg

56. Most used word?

57. How long does it take you to get ready?

like glam? 45 minutes but i hate waking up and can b ready in 15

58. Do you have much of an ego?

it rlly depends like the stars rlly need to be aligned

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

suck ;)

60. Do you talk to yourself?

a l w a y s

61. Do you sing to yourself?

(syd u do smile when u sing omg) and yes!! i sing all the time

62. Are you a good singer?

n o pe

63. Biggest fear?

failure, being taken advantage of, being hated

64. Are you a gossip?

i hate myself for it but yes

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idrk??? i donn’t watch a lot of movies??

66. Do you like long or short hair?

i’m a sucker for long hair

67. Can you name all 50 states in America?

and the capitals too

68. Favourite school subject?

history, musical theatre, english, sociology

69. Extrovert or introvert?

probably extrovert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

nooooooo but i really really want to!!

71. What makes you nervous?

ghosts

72. Are you scared of the dark?

ghosts live in the dark

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

not most of the time

74. Are you ticklish?

yeah

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

nope never

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

i’m on drama presidency at school?

77. Have you ever drank underage?

nuh uh

78. Have you ever done drugs?

nope

79. Who was your first real crush?

tbh rachel greene i grew up watching friends and she was hot

80. How many piercings do you have?

1 set, but i want more!

81. Can you roll your R’s?

i had no idea this was a special skill but yes!!

82. How fast can you type?

not bad but not great

83. How fast can you run?

not my thing

84. What colour is your hair?

blonde

85. What colour are your eyes?

green

86. What are you allergic to?

i’m lactose intoleranat, and i’m allergic to tomatoes

87. Do you keep a journal?

only for like rlly important evants or things i need to talk about but can’t tell anyone about @pitoftrash is kinda my diary

88. What do your parents do?

my mom is a respiratory therapist a childrens hospital and my dad is a private loan officer

89. Do you like your age?

hmmm yes?? but i’d rather go back in time or forward bc rn it’s kind an awkward age of being able to do Stuff but nothing worthwhile

90. What makes you angry?

politics, ignorance, prejudice, homophobia, pro-life people, right wing america, donald trump

91. Do you like your own name?

yeah but sometimes i wish it had an easier nickname

92. Have you already thought about baby names? And if so, what are they?

i love the names rowan and christian

93. Do you want a boy or girl for a child?

either, it doesn’t matter their sex, gender or sexuality to me (:

94. What are your strengths?

n/a

95. What are your weaknesses?

bruh i’m clingy and talk too much

96. How did you get your name?

my dad always wanted to name a child sarah elizabeth?????

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

actually i’m directly danish royalty!!

98. Do you have any scars?

stretch marks and like self harm scars

99. Colour of your bedspread?

white and gold

100. Colour of your room?

off white with yellowish undertones

#tag game #sorry for the scroll #do this u guys and tag me if u do!!

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dandart · 5 years

Text

I like quizzes...

1. What is you middle name?

Walter. Not kidding.

2. How old are you?

3. When is your birthday?

4th June

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Classical: Gemini

Revised: Taurus

5. What is your favorite color?

Deep purple. Also orange sometimes.

6. What’s your lucky number?

4, 16, 64... powers of 4.

7. Do you have any pets?

1 black cat, 2 lutino cockatiels, a venus fly trap and a "puppy" (shytsumiki is my Chise)

8. Where are you from?

Devon, south west England.

9. How tall are you?

175cm (about 5'9" in ye olde measurements)

10. What shoe size are you?

Like 7... ._. That's tiny. It makes it painful to walk. (EU 41, US 9)

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

One that I actually use. But then I occasionally share with my darling Angel shytsumiki, but I also have more impractical ones stashed.

12. What was your last dream about?

Ah fuck now I don't remember... it was interesting though.

13. What talents do you have?

Coding, origami, musical instruments, tech in general and uhmm not a lot else?

14. Are you psychic in any way?

No one's psychic. That's never been proven. I can barely read emotions when I look at faces. I am remarkably imperceptive.

15. Favorite song?

Starset's My Demons, Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb or Focus' Anonymus 2.

16. Favorite movie?

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. But I do also enjoy me some others. Ask for my imdb if you're interested.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

My babygirl shytsumiki was my childhood crush. No one I have ever met has come close to being so magically attractive to me.

18. Do you want children?

No, I have my babygirl shytsumiki and our pets are our babies.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Noooooooooooo. One in the dead of night in the woods would be just lovely.

20. Are you religious?

In as much as I occasionally personify the world or the universe, but not seriously.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yeah. I even stayed overnight but only to stay with my little Angel shytsumiki.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

Umm... once as a kid I didn't know how to do anything nor what I was doing, and punched a teacher after she stopped me stealing and eating broken biscuits and had to talk to a policeman. But other than that, not since I was like 7. Gosh I was a horror.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Yeah, I met the Linux Outlaws and co, I've met the Gadget Show crew, I went to see Biffy Clyro live... of all bands... I've spoken to a few coding legends too... erm... tweeted with Carmack, and Akira, that vfx guy for Star Trek...

24. Baths or showers?

Baths are soothing but I usually shower because I haven't always got the patience.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Nihilism.

26. Have you ever been famous?

I should hope so. I was known as The Cloud Man by LO, got published in Linux Format, once had a thousand twitter followers and had feedback from strangers on my code. I am also in the OEIS, thrice.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Not in the classical papparazi pop star sense, but to be a household name who doesn't have to hide his face in public sounds okay. A legacy would be nice, after all.

28. What type of music do you like?

Uber metal and prog rock, usually. Soundtracks too.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Noooooooo eww.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Two, but I often share two with shytsumiki and iunno if she counts <3

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

Sideways unless my neck hurts (physiological problem) in which case back or front.

32. How big is your house?

Three bedrooms but still pokey. We have too much stuff.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

A nothing sandwich with bread made out of thin air with a side of invisible chips.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Only a bb and a fairground one.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yeah once and I loved it and want to take it up again.

36. Favorite clean word?

Either discombobulate, defenestrate, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis or jam.

37. Favorite swear word?

Fucknugget? Anything which is half swear and half clean is a winner in my book. Shitsticks.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Around 40 hours I should think.

39. Do you have any scars?

Myes. That's a story which perhaps requires a tw...

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

How would I know? If it's secret I wouldn't know. My little darling is my exsecret admirer though apparently.

41. Are you a good liar?

Nope. I am forgetful so I wouldn't even be aligned in the answers I was giving. Plus I just don't like it. It makes me too guilty.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I hope so but haven't had many chances to find that out just yet.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Sure. It's-a pizza, italiano! But seriously I am okay at some but terrible at others.

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I wouldn't say so but no one would. I would just say "generic Southern English"

45. What is your favorite accent?

Some Southern hemisphere or east Asian I like a lot, also a few European.

46. What is your personality type?

INTP afaik

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I don't actually know, I don't go for expensive, nor care for my clothes especially.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes.

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie.

50. Left or right handed?

Right.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Nope.

52. Favorite food?

Sushi.

53. Favorite foreign food?

...sushi. Alright, different answer? Takoyaki?

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Extremely messy.

55. Most used phrased?

It changes every so often. Dunno right now.

56. Most used word?

Also changes. Still don't know.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

For climbing? Jk like a minute?

58. Do you have much of an ego?

Used to, now I don't.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Both.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

All the time. I know, right?

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Yup.

62. Are you a good singer?

Only if I try which is rare and even then rarely.

63. Biggest Fear?

Losing my Angel. Or dying.

64. Are you a gossip?

Nope. Not at all.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

I don't actually know.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

Having? Long. Seeing? Don't mind as long as it's not a buzzcut. So from vaguely short and floofy to massively long.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

No I can't, and it would be weird to expect that of me.

68. Favorite school subject?

Maths and physics and IT.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Intro now, ex extro

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No but it sounds llike good fun.

71. What makes you nervous?

Jealousy and making the wrong moves.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Nope. Used to be a bit when alone.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Sometimes, less than I used to, when it would be useful.

74. Are you ticklish?

A bit. Less than I used to be since being bigger.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

Nope

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Not official governmently but I have owned projects, and in other places.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Probably.

78. Have you ever done drugs?

Hasn't everyone done soft ones?

79. Who was your first real crush?

My Angel Baby shytsumiki

80. How many piercings do you have?

None.

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Yes.

82. How fast can you type?

Reasonably fast I should think.

83. How fast can you run?

Reasonably slow.

84. What color is your hair?

Brown to me, dark blonde to my mum and ginger in an underground coding quiz apparently.

85. What color is your eyes?

Are? Blue.

86. What are you allergic to?

Probably prawns.

87. Do you keep a journal?

No, wish I could remember to.

88. What do your parents do?

My mum's a mosaic artist and my dad's a retired satcom engineer.

89. Do you like your age?

Ummm, it's alright??

90. What makes you angry?

Die hard cruelty and things that make people or animals suffer. Including wars, all of which are inexcusable. Come on people, the best for the most, keep up! I am the judge.

91. Do you like your own name?

It's alright. Better than some, not as cool as others.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Bob Jim Ted because they are hilarious names. Not that I'm using them for anything but fiction.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

No. I already have my babygirl shytsumiki.

94. What are you strengths?

Code. Logic. Maths and science. Compassion perhaps.

95. What are your weaknesses?

Memory, communication and showing emotion.

96. How did you get your name?

My folks picked it from a comic. "Dan Dare: Pilot of the Future". Middle name from a great uncle.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Everyone's were. I haven't traced exactly how but have traced up to 500 years in some places.

98. Do you have any scars?

Yes, you asked that before.

99. Color of your bedspread?

Colour. Currently red and black.

100. Color of your room?

Colour! Well white as are all of them atm.

These are fun. Thank you.

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mst3kproject · 6 years

Photo

The Corpse Grinders

This movie was directed by Ted V. Mikels, who did the same job on Girl in Gold Boots, and was written by Arch Hall Sr., who did the same job on Eegah!. Those were two of the sleazier and more misogynistic entries in Moon 13’s big ol’ vault of Kingachrome vials, so let’s prepare ourselves. Another warning sign is how the title card is literally cut out and glued on the film there. This isn’t just gonna be slimy, it’s gonna be cheap.

I’m not sure I can write a normal plot summary of this movie because that would make it sound far too straightforward. As with The Astro-Zombies, we seem to have several beginnings, all of them for unrelated movies. First we’ve got a couple who are suddenly attacked by their cat. Then we’ve got a gravedigger grumbling that a guy named Landau owes him money. Then we’re at the Lotus Cat Food company, where Landau is complaining that he needs more product. Then we’re at a hospital, where a doctor named Howard and a nurse named Angie are also getting attacked by a cat.

Even when I write it out like that, you can kind of see where this is going – the cat food company is buying bodies from the gravedigger, and as a result the cats are developing a taste for human flesh and attacking their owners. In the movie itself, however, it’s still less clear than that, because all these scenes focus on things that are beside that point. The scene with the gravedigger is more about his fractured relationship with his wife, who is mentally ill and obsessed with her doll, than about what he’s up to. The scene at Lotus is a showcase of the disabled weirdos Landau employs. The bit at the hospital is about Howard’s drinking and his affair with Angie.

Anyway, yeah, Landau and his pal Maltby load the corpses into their rape van and probably molest them before feeding them into a ridiculous contraption that somewhat resembles an old, rusty version of the Teletubbies’ tubby custard machine. When the local graveyard runs dry, Landau starts killing his employees and random homeless people. Howard and Angie investigate. There’s a detective with a mustache hanging around watching things and he looks so much like Howard that I was forty minutes into the movie before I was sure they were two different people.

Like the other Ted V. Mikels movies I’ve seen, this one is dark and out of focus and never makes a whole lot of sense. The actors are bad, weird editing choices are made, and only one of the cast – Sanford Mitchell as Landau – looks like he’s having any fun. The camera focuses on women dressing, undressing, and lounging around in their underwear, rather on things that might develop the plot. The nearest thing to a special effect is a shot of Howard pulling chicken gizzards out of what may be an actual taxidermied cat. There’s only one mildly amusing joke in the entire movie, which is the ad on the wall of Landau’s office: Lotus Cat Food, for cats who like people! Pity you can barely read it.

The levels on which the whole thing is ridiculous are many and varied. Landau thinks he’s gonna get rich selling cat food? The cheapest way to get meat for it is to buy human corpses? A taste of the result makes eight-pound cats attack hundred and fifty pound humans? The stuff I feed my cat claims to be mostly turkey and giblets but I’m quite sure if she ever saw a real turkey she’d go right up the nearest tree and howl until I got her down. Why hunt your own food when you can pester the humans until we give you some? Isn’t that the whole reason evolution gave us thumbs – so we could open cans of cat food?

The Corpse Grinders isn’t even really sure what’s supposed to be its major source of fear. Is it the cats turning on their owners? If so, it’s pretty poorly presented, because we don’t get to see the bond between human and animal before we get the attacks. Is it the fact that they’re digging up corpses? If that’s so, we really needed to see people reacting to the raiding of the graveyard and not knowing what’s become of their loved ones’ remains. Is it how Landau regards human beings as so disposable? The movie should have spent less time making fun of the ill and disabled, then. Is it Landau’s crony feeling up the bodies? This only happens once. Is it the reminder that we are, in the end, made of meat? This has been used to horrifying effect in many films, but it just never works here. The Corpse Grinders throws a number of ostensibly awful things at us, but never has the focus required to make us feel any real disgust or horror.

All we’re left with, then, is a really bad movie made by people who obviously hate cats. In several scenes a cat is supposed to be attacking somebody, but it’s clear that what’s actually going on is the ‘victim’ holding the cat against him- or herself while it struggles to get away. The only cat attack scene that doesn’t involve obvious cruelty is the one where the cats move in to eat Landau’s body at the end – this seems to have been accomplished by putting cat treats or catnip on the actor’s chest. I really hope the taxidermy cat in the autopsy scene was one they found at a garage sale or something, rather than being killed and preserved for the movie.

Not only does the movie mistreat its actual cats, the script insults them, too. At several points we’re told that so-and-so adored her cat (it’s always a woman) only for the ungrateful beast to turn on her. That does mean there’s a little bit of food for thought in this movie, because you quickly realize it had to be about cats. You couldn’t make this movie about dogs, because people and dogs have a totally different relationship.

There’s a bit where Howard reads from a book that even domestic cats are ‘half-savage’ and that we don’t own them, they own us. Anybody who actually has a cat, including myself, would agree with this – a dog is a pet, while a cat is a room-mate. If all the humans magically vanished, dogs seem like they would probably wither away and die while cats would get along just fine. Like most things we all kind of know without remembering where we learned them, this isn’t actually true in the real world: both dogs and cats can survive in the wild much better than we’d expect, but both prefer to seek out human help if they can find it. But we do not trust cats, and that’s what this movie plays on. We would have a hard time believing our dogs would suddenly turn on us, but our cats? They do it all the time, as soon as they’re tired of having their tummies rubbed.

The other reason this movie has to be about cats is because dogs would be expensive. Dogs can be pretty big and could easily hurt somebody, so a movie in which dogs turn on their masters would require trained animals, their handlers, and a ton of insurance. Cats are small enough that if you’re an asshole you can hold them down or throw them around. I guess you could use only small dogs, but it might be hard to take the movie seriously when somebody’s getting their toes viciously gnawed off by a miniature schnauzer.

The Corpse Grinders is also about how we treat the dead, the homeless, and the disabled – three categories of humans that society would rather push under the rug and forget about. It’s not the first to explore the intersection of these categories, either. In a sense, this is a Burke and Hare movie. If you haven’t heard of Burke and Hare, they were a couple of landlords in early 19th century Ediburgh who made some money by selling the corpses of their dead tenants to the university medical school to dissect. Eventually it occurred to them that they didn’t need to wait for their victims to die on their own. They’ve been the subject of several movies, themselves, ranging from outright horror to dark comedy, and The Corpse Grinders follows the same basic premise. When you’re already selling the dead, it’s a small step to the almost dead, and from there to the merely unwanted.

Almost all of Landau’s victims fall into this category. There’s his disabled employees, who work for him because ‘nobody else will hire them’. There’s the homeless drunks. There’s the gravedigger and his wife, an isolated and ill couple who don’t appear to have any friends. He knows to pick victims like these because his first victim, the cat food company’s financial backer, was missed, and it’s still causing him trouble after all this time. People like one-legged Tessie, or the gravedigger’s wife, have no support system. The fact that nobody even notices they’re gone ought to be just as horrifying as their fate.

Not that this is actual social commentary on the movie’s part. I don’t think even the stuff about cat-human relationships was intended to make us think. The film-makers just don’t like cats. Even when it shows us Landau’s victims, its logic is the same as his: nobody wants these people, nobody will care if they’re gone. The setup in which we meet people like Willie, Tessie, and the Gravedigger’s wife is mostly to show us why nobody wants them, rather than trying to make their deaths into tragedies. Mikels and Hall Sr. don’t seem to like people any better than they like cats.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go hug my cat and tell her she’s a pretty girl. She’ll try to eat me, but it’s just her way of telling me she loves me too.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #the corpse grinders #tw: rape #70s

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femslashy · 6 years

Text

2018 fic year in review

thank you so much for tagging me @homosociallyyours !! this was really fun (and also a bit hard haha) to do ^__^

1. number of stories (including drabbles) posted to ao3: 19 (6 100 word seasonal drabbles, and out of the rest 4 are under 1k and 2 are chaptered but one of those is still a WIP)

2. word count posted for the year: 142,383 which is def more than i’ve written in previous years but my initial goal for this year was 200k and then i lowered it to 150k and then decided i should focus less on word count and more on actually finishing the fics lmaooo

3. list of works posted this year in order of posting:

the tesco fic (although i didn’t make the tumblr post until recently)

three spring drabbles (100 words each)

begin again [timestamp] (my only snowbaz fic in 2018)

we’re swimming with the sharks until we drown

SPHERICAL

got me an appetite, now i can taste it

Take a Chance on Me

Getting Naked on Camera (NOT CLICKBAIT)

my favourite colour is you

louis tomlinson’s completely 100% foolproof guide to snagging the fit bloke next door (3 100 word drabbles)

no better place than right by your side

days gone by (WIP)

love the cronch

zero to sixty

where the love light gleams

4. fandoms i wrote for: mostly one direction and by that i mean i posted a timestamp for a carry on fic from 2017 and the rest was one direction lol

5. pairings: harry/louis, simon/baz (ONCE)

6. story with the most hits: Take a Chance on Me with 10975 hits :o

7. story with the most kudos: Take a Chance on Me with 426 kudos

8. story with the most comments: Take a Chance on Me with 52 comments threads

9. work i’m most proud of and why: well Take a Chance on Me was both my first time doing a big bang as well as the longest thing i’ve ever written (twice the length of the previous longest!) and i’m still completely in love with the art for it courtesy of @vulpixlou and i def don’t go back to stare at it ever nope 👀👀

10. work i’m least proud of and why: i mean i could nitpick the hell out of my stuff and i know there are certain bits i would write differently now but at the same time i created something with my brain that didn’t exist before and that’s just too cool not to be proud of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing:

this is from Take a Chance on Me (shocker) and i was having trouble thinking of my fave but then i was skimming through all of my fics and ngl i had forgotten about this bit but y’all i’ve been trying to work a Dramatic Airport Reunion into a fic FOR FUCKING EVER and i finally did it and i actually don’t hate it? (spoiler for the ending of Take a Chance on Me)

“See…” Louis starts. “See, there’s this guy. And, oh god, he’s an absolute twat. Wanna know what he did to me?” Harry nods faintly, and Louis, emboldened now, goes on. “So, I already knew who he was, right? I knew him, because he’d been in this god-awful boy band for years, and even if me bloody sisters hadn’t been so bloody in love with him, I’d still have known him, because he was just that famous.”

“I wasn’t that famous.”

“Don’t interrupt,” Louis chastises, and Harry mimics zipping his lips. “So this guy, I knew him, but he didn’t know me, but, fucking hell, I think someone forgot to tell him that, because there I was, minding my own business, when this kid just…” Louis giggles then, because the memory is just so ridiculous, “he just starts fucking singing to me, can you believe it?”

Harry shakes his head. “What a weirdo.”

“Right? The weirdest.”

“What happened next?”

“I fell in love with him.”

“What? That soon?”

“Of course not, Jesus, Harold. I’m not that pathetic. I waited the appropriate amount of time to fall in love, thank you very much.”

“Is that why you’re here, then?” Harry whispers. “Is it because you love him?”

“That’s part of it, yeah. I love him, and I love the way we just fit, and I adore his daughter, and our pets are friends now, and I think our sisters are best friends now, so they didn’t actually give me a choice, but do you want to know the biggest, most important reason?”

Harry nods quickly, so hard his chin bumps his chest, and Louis’ so fucking in love with him at that moment that these are the easiest words he’s ever said.

“I’m here,” he tells Harry, “because I was lying in my own bed, in my own house, surrounded by all my things, and all I wanted to do was go home.”

He’s yanked forward then, Harry’s fingers digging into his shoulders, and he barely feels the pain because it’s Harry, and everything’s good when it’s Harry. He’s babbling into Louis’ neck, and the only words he can make out are his name and “love you” and he shivers with the feeling.

Harry’s hair has grown out enough since the night Louis snuck in to see him that he can tangle his fingers in the strands. So he does, pulling Harry’s face away from his neck and pressing their lips together. Every kiss feels like an apology. Every kiss feels like home.

12. share or describe a favorite review you recieved: so this miiiiight be cheating but i received two comments on a fic i wrote in 2015 and it was kind of a surprise that something that old still held up and people still enjoy it? def made me feel better about my current writing and also anyone who quotes my fics back to me has earned my undying love and affection

13. a time when writing was really, really hard: i have adhd so p much always ahahaha

14. a scene or character you wrote that most surprised you: the entirety of “we’re swimming with the sharks until we drown” ngl because i struggled with the like… morally gray criminal-y elements? and portraying the two of them in such a different way while still staying in character which i like to think i nailed? hopefully lol

15. how did you grow as a writer this year? i don’t feel like a i have? but i’m also bias and hypercritical so maybe i did and just didn’t realize ahaha

16. how do you hope to grow next (this?) year: i want to enjoy writing again and i want to finish more fics and not let them rot in my docs because of self-doubt

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer: okay so first @amandaisnotwriting is the real MVP as she bears the brunt of my whining/complaining/drama queen moments as well as the fact that she listens (some would argue is forced to :p) and reads over fic for a pairing she doesn’t ship for a fandom she doesn’t care about 😂😂😂

@rainbowbaz always makes time to look over my fics even when she’s crazy busy and is honestly amazing and saves my fics from americanisms ahahaha

and FINALLY we met p late in the year but but @livingatthelairport ‘s comment on “the tesco fic” helped me out of a writing slump and now she’s become my cheerleader (and friend 💜) and that’s make a huge difference in my attitude towards writing! it’s also easier to write a fic for a specific person than worry about the opinion of a crowd which is def something i’ve been missing in this fandom rip

also to everyone else who has read my fics, listened to me rant about them or just helped the process along in any way at all this is a GIANT thank you!!

18. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? i mean i can’t think of anything off the top of my head but a lot of my inspo comes from the world around me so probably lol

19. any wisdom you can share with other writers: there’s nothing wrong with feeling jealous of other writers because i’m not a fan of hiding feelings just because they’re ugly as long as you don’t let it fester and turn into resentment or make you bitter. there are a lot of factors that go into a fic becoming “big” in a fandom but honestly most of it is just random chance so don’t beat yourself up because someone else’s success is not your failure and it’s nice to get recognition for your hard work but if you’re writing solely for the feedback then you’re writing for the wrong reason and that will lead to the resentment and bitterness mentioned earlier

also if you compliment someone you say you like their outfit but if you complement someone then you complete them

20. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’M GLAD YOU ASKED

these are all the things i didn’t start and/or finish in 2018 that WILL be completed this year

the cat fic

the doctor fic

the final three chapters of days gone by

penpal AU

Space. Florist.

teenage fanboys who are also best friends

baking blog fic

a short follow up to tacom

twitter drama fic

80’s/’high school’/secret admirer!AU

something based on yawning grave by lord huron

part three of the alien harry series

chocolate orange holiday fic

LA fic (wtwm)

70’s fic

monkey fic

i’m also planning to do the @larryabroad challenge again because i had so much fun with it last time :D

21. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

p sure everyone has done this but if you haven’t then do it now! and also tagging @cosyblack k bc you’ve had a really good year even if i have beta bias 😂

this took waaay longer than i thought it would omg but it was nice to take a look back!!

#me a writer writing all of this: i’m not good with words

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