#ineverdid

[lostat-heart]

I always thought id pick you in a busy room,                                                        but when the day came i couldn’t.                                                                      and thats how i knew i didn't love you anymore, those big blue eyes were the only thing that got me and only after multiple looks.                                              I dont know how long its been since the day i saw you for the first time in two years, but i didn't even recognise you.                                                                     The person i was once so in love with a complete stranger unrecognisable.         One metre away and still no idea why a “stranger” was intensively staring at me... until i realised that stranger was you.                                                          The person who taught me so many life lessons, bought me so many toxic memories as well as so many good ones.                                                              Seeing you was a bitter sweet moment, one that didn't feel the way i expect it too.                                                                                                                       The first moments of realising it was you was pure shock, then it turned into anxiety, then sadness .                                                                                       Sadness only because in that moment i realised that the person i always thought you were never existed, because in that moment i saw that you weren't the person i ever thought you were.    

Trying now move past the way you treated me and the way you made me feel and meet someone else, its hard. Not because I still love you because the person i feel in love with wasn't you; but because trying to find someone who is worth the risk of going through potential heart break again.

[beautyhangoverr]

can someone tell me what i want because i don’t know?

[gettinitinceo-blog]

#FriendsDontTurnThereBackWhenYourTrulyInNeed #IneverDid

[fiftyyshadesofmee-xo]

BuhByeNow

I don't chase after anyone anymore. If you want to walk out of my life, I'll hold the fucken door open for you.

[gettinitinceo-blog]

#FriendsDontTurnThereBackWhenYourTrulyInNeed #IneverDid

[imosan]

Alright so, this is my first ‘rant’ on this, I've never done them before because I feel like they’ll annoy people who follow me, but I need to say this someway or other and I think words are the healthiest way to go about it. I keep hoping for things. I particularly place my hope on a certain person, a person I love and could never live without, but they always seem to let me down again and again. I can’t take it. I asked for help and got knocked back, flat out, they didn't even try. I felt so hurt. They always say they’d like to help me, then the ‘but’ comes. That’s what stings the most, because I know that no matter how much they act like they care, they’ll never truly want to try for me. They say it, I think, to make themselves feel better, like a ‘I tried, what else can I do’ thing. But they didn't try. They never try. I could long to die every day and they wouldn't try, wouldn't know. I love them so much but they hurt me, they hurt me so bad sometimes that I just break down and cry until I have nothing left, how can I cling onto someone like that, someone who hurts me? How can the one thing I can’t live without be the one thing that upsets me most? I just want someone to hold me and tell I’m going to be okay, that I can get through this, and mean it, because I have no idea what’s going to happen to me. There’s so much more I could tell, I could tell everyone about everything. All the sleepless nights, the empty promises, the razor blades, the pills, the sitting in the dark for hours trying to keep breathing, just keep breathing. I don’t believe in anything apart from the beating of my heart. I wish I had more to believe in. I wish I could believe in somebody. I just want to be saved.

[sensationgone-blog]

What everyone seems to forget about me.