Bitter (ScienceBrosWeek 2019)
Summary: Anger and alcohol. Politics and people. And a little angst will lead them.
(Third verse, same as the first, but a little bit louder and a little bit worse).
Disclaimer: This is different from my usual style and I’m not sure where this story is going. So I’m not sure when I’ll continue. But keep me honest; it’ll happen eventually.
Addendum: I’m sorry, I still can’t explain this story. Not because I don’t want to. It’s because this is a self-driving bus and my subconscious has serious road rage.
Unbeta’d baby.
Reference: Dust(1), Drip(2)
**
Tony drank two more shots - maybe three; Bruce wasn’t counting. Then he dragged over a chair, plonking it beside Bruce’s soft sell.
“All or nothing, right?”
Those same words were teased over him when Tony brought him to SI. They shook on a contract - exclusivity of anything he created, all patents returned to their rightful owners. In return he could do whatever he wanted. Create whatever he wanted. Research anything he wanted. Bruce dreamed of unlimited research grants since college and he didn’t have to run and hide. Tony gave it to him.
Should’ve known there was a catch.
“I should’ve read the fine print.”
“Wouldn’t have mattered. In the end I usually get what I want.” Tony gestured to the mini bar. Bruce opened it, found glasses and a few bottles.
“Glenlivet?”
“Only if you’re having some,” Tony said, gazing at Bruce with hopeful eyes.
“Could never say no to you,” Bruce sighed. He dragged out two glasses and plunked one on the bookshelf. “I quit a while back, you know.”
Tony poured a jigger in his glass and made a face. “Ice, Brucie. You never forget ice.”
Bruce rolled his eyes and rooted around the mini bar freezer, for ice. “You’ve got metal cubes in here.”
“Yeah. They’re better. They don’t dilute the flavor.”
Bruce made a noise of disgust. “I’ll take the regular ice, thanks.” He grabbed a handful of ice with Tony’s cubes and hand-carried them over. Then he dropped the metal cubes in Tony’s glass, and transferred the regular ice to his.
“Heathen.”
“It’s what you like about me.” Bruce barely tasted the liquor, but the bitter drink burned his tongue like fire. Like Tony. And because he didn’t feel like getting burned, he kept the drink at bay, hoping the ice would dilute the liquor until it became palatable to him.
“I can’t believe you gave up whisky, though. You used to drink it with Rhodey and me in college!”
“It was still a bad idea.” Bad idea then, bad idea now, Bruce thought, staring blankly at his glass. It killed his dad, and nearly caught him in the net. He could still handle beer and wine, just not the hard stuff. Probably a mental block but he didn’t want to dig too deeply into Jungian theories today.
Picking up his glass, he twisted it in his hands. “I came back messed up. I didn’t need more of this to make it worse.”
“Valid point,” Tony muttered. He took another gulp of his drink and stared at Bruce through soulful lashes, knowing what it did to him. “So...hypothetically.”
“Hypothetically,” Bruce parroted. “Go on.”
“Hypothetically.” Tony knocked back the rest of his drink and grabbed the bottle. “There’s a chance the world might go cocks over tea cups in a few years.”
Bruce shrugged. “That’s always been true. The world’s one mistake from a unilateral nuclear war.”
“Lovin’ that optimism, doc.”
Bruce took another forbidden sip and shuddered at the bite. “Nothing short of the truth. Idiots in government multiply like retroviruses, infecting the world.” And he would know, he’d been on the receiving end of a lot of governments and their idiotic decisions. He was a plaything. Anything to get him in the news or on their dockets, to fight for a cause that wasn’t his.
“But.” Tony took another sip. “What if you could...tweak the playing field? Just a little mind you,” Tony said, holding up a hand, knowing Bruce itched to fight him. “What if you could take the decisions out of their hands, just for a while?”
Bruce rolled his lips, letting a bullish sigh filter through his nostrils. He took another small drink and swallowed before answering. “Hypothetically.”
“Sure.”
“I’d think...it’d just make things worse in the end. Anyone who fucks around with godlike powers ends up dead. Or worse.” He peered at Tony over his glass. “Can you handle worse?”
“I’ve handled worse.” Tony took another drink. “So’ve you.”
“But not...” Bruce shook his head. Fuck it, he thought, knocking back the bitterness in his glass. “I’m not gonna swap ‘who got hurt worse/who deserves revenge’ stories. Yeah, I’d love to get back at everyone. But trust me, Tony. When you do get revenge? It’s nothing like you’d thought it’d be.” He chuckled darkly. “The cake is a lie.”
Tony laughed. “You still play?”
“Every once in a while, when the rage gets too high. Better than an AK-47 in a shopping mall.”
Tony made a noncommittal noise and they quietly continued drinking. Against his better judgment Bruce grabbed the bottle and refilled his glass. The numbness felt good - too good, really. He’d have to cut himself off in time.
Bruce tentatively bit his lower lip. “Are we done with hypotheticals, now?”
Tony shrugged. Bruce used it as permission and took a large sip of whisky. “So, the people out there. Who aligned with who first?”
“Dunno,” Tony said, refilling his own glass. He was miles ahead of Bruce as far as the drink went but nowhere near tipsy. “I met Nick about ten years ago. We swapped stories, same as you and I are doing now. All hypotheticals, of course. He knew Dad, worked with him on a few deals, came to a few random conclusions around the same time I did. Nick had the people and I had the money.”
“And you had this underground legacy, where everything came together.”
“Yep.” Tony took another drink. He twirled his glass on the bookshelf, between his nimble fingers. “The cave was totally off the books. Dad told me and no one else, and his secret went with him to the grave; on paper, this is an abandoned mine owned by A which is owned by B, who’s owned by C...ad infinitim. Untraceable.”
Tony’s eyes sought Bruce’s blessing but Bruce wasn’t sure what lies and secrets his expression held. “I would’ve told you earlier, Bruce. Believe me, I would’ve.”
Bruce shrugged. Drink began tugging at his defenses, his sips becoming gulps. “The timing sucked, if we’re talking ten years ago. I’d’ve just gotten back to the States.”
“I signed you on, on the spot.”
“Because I didn’t have anywhere else to go.” Bruce bit back choppy, shallow breaths because his past would always haunt him. “I think I did fuck-all, except curl up in your bathroom for a year. ‘Telecommuter,’ my ass.”
Tony laughed. “Yeah. Justifying that to Pepper was a bit of a spin, but there’s a reason she’s my CEO. She was up to the task. All you had to do was review the schematics for R&D and sign off on them. Didn’t take a rocket scientist.”
“Heh. I read them, at least I did that much.” Bruce took a long drink. The conversation had finally swung ‘round to the elephant in the room, and he decided to take the bait. “Reminds me. Where’s Rhodey? What’s he up to?”
Does he know about your schemes? Is he reporting back to his military liaisons? How much trouble are you in?
“Around,” Tony said offhandedly, and Bruce nearly exploded. How much pulling would he have to do to drag out the fucking truth? “He’s...here.”
“He knew about this place? For how long?” Bruce couldn’t help himself. The words spilled out, revealing his angry, bitter heart.
“Five years ago.” Tony finished his glass. Refilled it. Rinse, repeat.
Bruce sat back in his chair, all of it dawning on him. “After he’d retired.”
“Forced out,” Tony corrected. “He didn’t tell you, but he’s still sore about it. He deserved that full-bird promotion but instead they sent him to Aleppo for one last insurgency.” Tony’s eyes hardened. Bruce felt hot and bitter rage wafting from Tony’s shoulders, the same rage he imagined helped build SHIELD. “Total ambush. But you can only cover up so much shit in the military before it starts stinking. He found out he’d been targeted, of course. No one would say how or why, but he knew. Still had to smile pretty for the camera after getting his leg blown off.”
Tony grabbed a decorative pouf and draped his legs across. “Guess it could’ve been worse, he was supposed to get killed. ‘Not on my watch,’ he joked. You saw that right? On the news? The kids memed it for months.”
“I saw.” Back then he’d wondered why Rhodey’s eyes looked so bitter and sad, despite the triumphant grin across his lips. Like everyone else, he thought Rhodes was angry about his leg. Thought that was the reason he pulled away from Bruce.
God. He’d been such an ass. A clueless ass.
Bruce peered into his glass. He was already drunk, not a good sign. He forced the anger down and shoved his tumbler away.
“So how does this work?” He couldn’t hide his tone’s bite. “You have a fucking paramilitary black ops team, ready to do your bidding. Assuming Rhodey has the balls to manipulate the US military, and assuming--” Bruce stretched his arms like the scales of justice, scanning the room “--assuming none of your insurgents here talk, or go to the FBI, or anyone else--”
“They won’t.” Tony shook his head. “They’re free to go wherever they want, but most of them work and live...here. They’re that committed.”
Bruce’s mouth fell open and he stared at Tony a beat before ripping his glasses off his face and throwing them across the room. “God dammit, Tony. God fucking dammit.”
“Bruce--”
“No. Don’t. Do not ‘Bruce’ me right now.” He shot up from his chair and debated flipping his chair because of his absolute rage. “You’re running a fucking god damned paramilitary organization with, with what? Plans to incinerate the fucking planet? These are people, Tony! They’re not your little fucking toy soldiers!”
“I know that! Shit, Bruce. Just...”
“You’re too fucking rich, Tony. Too rich, too fucking removed.” Bruce screwed his eyes tight and tugged his hair, concentrating on keeping himself at a level he could control. He paced haltingly but at least Tony didn’t match his anger. He could’ve. In the past they’d screamed themselves hoarse until Rhodey flipped them off and left the apartment because he couldn’t take their volcanic rages. Rhodey was the coolant to their meltdowns. The only one who could handle their hot heads.
But Rhodey wasn’t here, and Tony wasn’t biting back, so it was all on him. Just him.
He could do this. He could.
But the emotion had to go somewhere, so the anger pooled into his eyes, overrunning his tear ducts. Until he couldn’t help himself. “God dammit.”
He sniffed. He felt his glasses digging into his side and he snatched them from Tony’s hands. “Fuck you.”
“Whatever it takes.”
Then Tony handed him a box of tissues while he fumbled with his glasses, waiting for Bruce to calm down enough before clearing his throat. “We should talk more. Tomorrow. When you’re sober, when I’m sober. Today was a lot to take in, I know.”
“Do you?” Bruce spat back.
“It’s been a long day,” Tony continued, ignoring Bruce’s retort. “I’ve...there’re two more doors in here. Right door’s the bathroom, left...is my bedroom. Or you can sleep in the barracks.”
Bruce glared at him.
“My room it is, then.”
At this point Bruce moved purely on autopilot while his broken mind dredged up past indiscretions and lonely hearts. It wasn’t hard; the memories always lingered in Bruce’s mind, close to the surface, of the very big bed in Tony’s room and the three of them alternating between middle, big and little spoon.
“Do you want--”
“Company, yes. Don’t ask me why. I’m not sober enough to say.”
Tony didn’t say another word. Instead he silently lead Bruce to his bedroom. His fingers paused before Bruce, hesitated, until Bruce gave him a soft nod. Tony tenderly removed Bruce’s clothes until all he wore were boxers, and folded the clothes neatly in a corner. Tony then took off his own clothes - save his boxers - and turned down the satin sheets of the king-sized bed.
“Come on,” Tony encouraged. His voice was flat but not cold, and Bruce welcomed it.
He crawled beside Tony and Tony wrapped his arms around him, feeling like a weighted blanket. Bruce wasn’t sure about anything anymore. He didn’t know what to think or feel or what was okay to think, or feel. The day was already a blur. But here, now, this was okay. It had been decades since they’d done such a thing but the body never forgets.
He succumbed to sleep in Tony’s arms.
10 notes
·
View notes