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tigerdrop · 4 years

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O_O okay wowy well. sure. full disclosure this feels like one of the more embarrassing things ive ever written b/c there is literally no connection to canon and its just, “well, hes a vampire now, b/c i said so and i think it would be hot”. it is not usually what i do so. heres some shit i typed in a feverish haze and woke up with no recollection of

okay listen. okay. listen. vampire. you know whats great and what i always think about with vampires and always fucking end up writing, okay. negotiated blood exchange

literally nothing is hotter on earth than willingly agreeing to let a vampire suck your blood from your wrist at regular intervals and then deviating from the negotiated terms. sorry this is insanely specific but its my fucking thing Okay

i literally cannot explain why this intensely specific thing is my specific thing but. look. okay. envision if u will, gordon freeman getting the stupidest brain worm in his head and noticing that when benrey sucks blood from other things/people, he always goes for the neck like a normal vampire would. but between the two of them he goes for the wrist b/c thats what gordon agreed to (b/c hes a human who was deeply weirded out by the whole fucking idea, but benrey needs blood, and its better to let him take some from him every once in awhile than having him go out and hunt down god knows what)

and hes like "huh. what if it tastes different when it comes from the neck." and he starts pushing benrey about it and questioning him. like a fucking idiot. a moron

like "okay man but what if you just tried it. just once is fine. i dont care. i just wanna find out" b/c hes a scientist and a researcher at heart but hes also so fucking stupid

and benreys like weirdly reluctant about it (b/c, like, gordon puts on a lot of airs about not fucking liking him and getting all up in a dudes neck zone is scarily intimate but its not like its that weird if hes doing it to a stranger or some livestock animal thats not even gonna be alive to remember it, right) and you know it turns out that that was probably wise b/c as soon as he gets up close to gordons neck he can sense his heart beating faster and the blood pumping harder and, oh, thats why benrey wasnt doing it that way, b/c when those fangs get into his neck gordon lets out a truly embarrassing sound b/c it hurts and it burns like hell but it gets him so hot its like hes been hit by lightning. and his hands instinctually scrabble at benreys shoulders

and like look one of my favorite things on earth is the "incredibly sexually charged" scene followed by both of them realizing "wait what the fuck" and having to stop what theyre doing Right The Fuck Now and then mulling over it/dreaming about it/jerking off about it/whatever and i just want gordon to be plagued and haunted by gay thoughts about okay what if they did it again

[thinks very fcking hard about gordon jerking off about it and at least a dozen times he thinks god dammit why the Fuck am i thinking about this fuck fuck stupid idiot ass as he tries and succeeds in thinking about something else for maybe like 5 seconds before coming back to the feeling that jolted through him when he got bit every time]

YOU GET IT. "gordon freeman having a gay realization and then furiously jerking off about it and hating himself for it after" is my favorite thing on earth

leans in close to look at the marks in the mirror later and runs his fingers over them and he gets that Jolt in his stomach and he fucking drops his toothbrush on the floor

just. dreaming about it. every fucking night hes plagued by dreams of benrey doing it again, but this time hes crawling closer, a hand at gordons neck, and hes making a low sound while he sucks gordons blood like his life depends on it (well, it does, but you know what i mean) and once hes done he pulls back to drag his tongue up gordons neck and get that last bit of blood that drips down it and gordon tugs him closer and makes that goddamn embarrassing sound again and then he wakes up with the worst boner hes ever had and he jerks off thinking about benrey biting his thighs like that, too

me: hmmm yes i am a bottom benrey truther also me: god but what if benrey made him a babbling, shuddering mess and bit that neurotic little fucker bloody and railed him within an inch of his life. what if

gordon neck bruising up a little a day or so later and. looking at himself in the mirror and wondering what it would be like if he was just. covered in em. getting bowled over and lightheaded from just how fast all the blood in his body goes to his dick at the thought of being marked. gordon freeman passes out in the bathroom from being too horny. gordon freeman forgot how sensitive his neck was because no ones touched him there in years

literally every other time they had done this he was completely normal about it and the bruises on his wrist were just, like, an annoying formality, but now that door has been unlocked bro. hes done like dinner

and then on the flip side u have benrey absolutely beating the shit out of his meat b/c gordons never, ever let him that close before and that sound he made is burned into his brain and also, you know, gordon did have a point. it did taste different

just honestly what is better than two dudes who absolutely want to bang each other furiously jerking off alone while theyre convinced the other guy would be disgusted if he knew

and benreys thoughts turn toward shit like......what if it tastes different everywhere. what if its different when its beading up from his stomach, where the flesh is a little softer. what if its different when he sinks his teeth into the meat of gordons inner thighs. and what if gordon sounds different everywhere he bites, too

like. sensitive thighs. the tease of being close to his dick but not there

doing that shit while hes just in boxer briefs (or like short-shorts if you wanna get real slutty about it idk) and gordons so fucking hard and its so fucking obvious how hes tenting his boxers and hes got his fingers tangled in benreys hair while hes biting his thighs (you know. as an experiment. for science. hah ha. ha) and hes so close to gordons dick but benreys not doing anything about it. and its not like he can just fucking ask.......its like the weirdest game of gay chicken hes ever played

gordon freeman absolutely fucking wrecked and red in the face and sweating and panting like hes ran a fucking marathon and this bitch has the nerve to pretend like hes not having a homosexual revelation

Anyway. My final message. Goodbye

#writin stuff #i guess #asky #dont fucking look at me i just have some weird fixations

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jenniferxprentiss · 4 years

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You Are In Love

Chapter Four: Bang!

read it on ao3 here, listen to the song here

beginning of the chapter is set to this, end of the chapter is set to this - give them a listen!

Hi!

Thanks for reading and supporting this story! I really appreciate it. Jsyk, there’s a small nsfw mention, but I don’t think it’s really anything bad? So proceed with caution.

Tagging the list - PLEASE let me know if I forgot you. @emilyprentissisababe @clockedstar @heat-waveee @f-m27 @criminalmindsgonewrong @whiskey-fluent @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @garcias-batcave @abbyprentiss @dont-trustyourfeelings @jjsgirlfriend

Thanks for reading and please review it? Please?

————

The birds chirping outside woke Emily before her alarm and she narrowed her eyes in disgust - stupid birds wrecking her peaceful morning. She tightened her arms around the warm body pressed into her side, nose burying in JJ’s hair and inhaling.

She smelled like lavender and dogwood - the shampoo of Emily’s she had claimed as her own because it smelled better than her own. Emily couldn’t help but smile every time she smelled it, her heart quickening at the thought of JJ using her things - or were they their things now?

In the week JJ had been living with her - staying with her, as JJ put it - Emily had woken up to the blonde in her bed almost every morning. She always claimed that the guest room that they were in the process of turning into her bedroom was too scary, she couldn’t sleep alone - inevitably crawling into bed with Emily after midnight.

“Mm, morning.” JJ smiled up at her, blue eyes shining brightly. She stretched, yawning softly before resting her head on Emily’s shoulder, clearly with no plans to get up.

“Good morning, Jayje. Couldn’t sleep?”

“No. I like your bed better.”

Emily smiled, burying her face in JJ’s hair again. They laid there, content to just soak in the lazy morning warmth before they had to get up for the day and face the world. It was quickly becoming a sort of routine for them, laying in bed and just existing before they had to drag out of bed, cold and shivering and fighting for the shower.

“Thanks for letting me stay here.”

She said this every morning, and every morning Emily smiled, ghosting a hand down JJ’s spine and pressed a soft kiss to her hair. Emily never wanted JJ to feel like a burden, like she wanted her anywhere else but here with her. It was like the best sleepover with her best friend every single day.

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m happy you’re here. Would I lie to you?”

“No.”

“Then it’s fine, okay? Everything’s okay and you’re not imposing.”

JJ let out a happy sound at Emily’s words, unable to fight the fluttering of her eyelids. Emily was truly the best cuddles, and with her head on her chest, JJ found herself lulled to sleep almost every night just from the sound of her heartbeat.

“We need to get up.”

At Emily’s words, JJ let out a low whine, her hand ghosting over her barely there bump and snuggling further into Emily’s chest. If they were given the opportunity, they’d stay in bed until afternoon.

“I don’t wanna.”

Emily laughed, burying her nose in JJ’s hair, trying to force herself to get up. She would gladly stay with JJ all day, but they had work and responsibilities. She rolled out from under JJ and off of the bed, watched her as she curled into a small ball under the blankets.

“Come on, up with you. I’ll let you take the first shower?”

With that, JJ was flying out of the room and down the hall, making Emily chuckle under her breath. They always fought over the shower in the mornings, having laid in bed for too long to be able to wait for the water to warm up again.

Emily shook her head, soft smile creeping onto her face when she heard JJ clamber into the shower. She never thought she’d be so happy having someone else live with her - solitude was always her thing, never even sharing a hotel room if she could help it at all - but somehow JJ just wormed her way right in.

She walked down the hall to prepare their breakfast, as she usually did when JJ got the shower first - which she usually did. Emily heard the faintest sound, a soft sigh coming from the bathroom and she froze outside the door, straining to hear if JJ was okay.

If Will Lamayonnaise made her cry again, Emily was going to seriously lose her cool.

There was another breathy sound from the bathroom and Emily almost pushed her way in until she realized — oh. JJ wasn’t crying, her sighs were giving way to soft, breathy moans.

Emily felt heat rising to her face as she struggled with what to do. She knew it was impolite to stay and listen, but god, she wanted to more than anything - and it had been so long since she had touched herself, never feeling right about it with JJ beside her.

She bit back a whine when she felt wetness flood her panties at the sound of JJ’s moans and whimpers, internally cursing her curiosity for pressing her ear to the door to begin with.

When JJ came with a low moan of Emily’s name, she nearly combusted in place, promising herself to take an extra long shower before work.

———————

There had been virtually no tension between them the rest of the day, though that wasn’t a shock. JJ didn’t know that Emily knew, and Emily didn’t want to confess to knowing because god, what kind of pervert stands outside of the door and listens to their best friend masturbate?

Emily could hardly focus on her mountain of paperwork, JJ’s breathy moans echoing in her brain. Her panties were long past ruined, and she had fucked herself twice in the shower that morning, emerging flushed and jittery. She wanted to tear her hair out all day, and it didn’t help that JJ was wearing her blazer.

JJ looked beautiful today - she looked beautiful every day, but the glow and happy flush on her face made her look exceptional. Emily felt her face heating up with a blush as she watched JJ work, the cap of her pen ensnared between her lips as she scrawled something on her page, looking up and locking eyes.

She smiled at Emily, a small confused glint to her eyes behind her radiant smile. JJ turned away from Morgan, punching him in the shoulder and letting out a bellowing laugh, and focusing more on Emily, her eyes narrowing as she cocked her head.

Emily wasn’t sure if she wanted to die or hide. Simply put, JJ was exceptional and turned her heart to mush whenever she was around her, the ever burning fire in her eyes only serving to melt Emily’s heart even more.

Fuck, Emily was not falling for her pregnant best friend. She couldn’t be.

She was broken from her thoughts when the door banged open, a man staggering in and hollering about something. The voice sounded familiar and Emily turned around, eyes locking on a familiar head of brown hair, stumbling in wearing a rumpled uniform, probably from the night before.

Fucking Will Lemon Train.

Emily stood, striding across the room and standing nearly nose to nose with him. She could smell the beer and liquor on his breath mixed with the telltale stench of vomit. She wanted to let her emotions and anger get the better of her, but she steeled herself for a fight, arms folded across her chest.

“Will.”

“Where is JJ? Cher! Cher? I jus’ wanna talk.”

“You’re not talking to her right now. You’re drunk, you need to go home, Will.”

The telltale bubble of rage filled Emily’s chest, her heart pounding and hands shaking. She tried her best to keep her tone calm and steady, to ignore the shake in her voice. His face contorted in anger and Emily wanted to spit - to kick him for making JJ feel even an ounce of as awful as he did, and then coming into her workplace drunk? She would have a field day with him if no one else was around.

“I’m not goin’ home, it’s lonely without her.” He shouldered Emily, trying to step past her to get to JJ. “Cher, I’ve thought about it and I don’t want you to do that. I want you to come home - come back.”

JJ looked downright terrified and Emily stepped between them again, hands settling on her hips in a challenge. She felt her body quake with adrenaline and anger, trying her best to will herself to stop.

“You don’t get to come between us.”

“And you don’t get to walk in here being like...like this!”

Will’s arm flew up towards Emily’s face and she caught it a split second before it connected with the side of her head. She heard JJ gasp, jumping up from her chair and starting over to them but Emily threw up a hand, a sign to stop and stay where she was. She didn’t want her thrown in the middle of them if it got physical.

“Don’t you ever fucking hit me.”

He was silent, dropping his arm back to his side, staring at JJ before quickly bringing his fist up and swinging towards Emily’s chest. Thankfully he was inebriated and not as sharp, Emily catching his hand again. He shook his hand in an attempt to shake her off, wanting to try and get another swing in.

“You fucking bastard! Stop! You’re insane, stop!”

Without thinking, Emily brought her fist up, wincing when it connected with Will’s cheek. There was a sickening crack, his body falling limp to the floor as she held her hand, fist aching and burning. The sound of JJ’s panicked scream brought Emily out of her adrenaline-hazed state, eyes widening as she took in what just happened.

Oh, shit. She really just punched Will Maggot Brain.

#my fics #my writing #you are in love #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #jemily

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defensematrix · 5 years

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red dead redemption 2 spoilers // rdr2 spoilers

okay...... so.. ow

i finished the main storyline two days ago and then finished the epilogue last night

i have been spoiled for a lot but it was NOTHING like how i expected tbh. i knew that “arthur dies from tuberculosis” and i was really dreading it bc like, right before the game came out on PC i went through a really shitty period where my 14 yr old dog slowly died from some kind of lung infection he couldnt fight off, and my mom didnt want to put him down so he ended up dying at home, and i dont want to get too graphic but basically what i was expecting was a similar thing happening to arthur where he eventually is just too sick to go on and has to lay down and die

which like, yeah technically that happens but a big factor is also the fact that while he was fighting a potentially fatal illness he was forced to do so fucking much for dutchs insane "plan” and then got beaten within an inch of his life by micah “living bottle of hot piss” bell

and i got “”spoiled”” when i was looking up treasure map stuff and saw the phrase “over by where you kill micah” so i was like ok cool, i will get to kill this bitch and all his taunting about arthur being ill wont matter bc hes gonna die first but HAHA OBVIOUSLY THATS NOT WHAT HAPPENED. i feel like the whole micah thing was less satisfying bc i had to play John Marstons Heterosexuality Simulator for several hours before actually dealing with him

but i will save the rest of that for a separate epilogue post i think, anyway

i started crying when i realized i had just said goodbye to charles, and i started crying again when you send jack and tilly off, and then REALLY started crying when that music that plays when you say bye to sadie and abigail started playing. the fucking music throughout the whole ending + the credits is so heart wrenching and i think the opening notes to “thats the way it is” will make me sad for the rest of time

also the fucking. horse scene. i was on buell for that so it was extra painful but it just gets me that arthur was being screamed at to keep moving bc they were being chased and he had to stop everything to say thank you and make sure this creature wasnt alone when it went and aughuhjgkhfkgjh ITS MAKING ME CRY......

also i went through the entire game on high honor so i never realized that the deer transition scenes were reflective of that until i went to look up alternate endings, which in retrospect makes that last shot of the deer so fucking emotional for me like idk, the artists and animators did a really good job on it where the animal looks like its fucking proud of you?? like its glad you made it on its side or idk i might be overemotional and reading into things

i was kind of stressed out during the end bc im bad at brawling in general but i do like that arthur went down fighting. like that sort of gave him more agency i think and let him have some meaning in his death

i was gonna make one more point bc i have charthur brain worms but then i realized that should be another post. anyway im sad about arthur and i already want to start the game all over again

#pet death mention #which is a weird tag to put on this but it is relevant #long post #rdr2 spoilers #red dead redemption 2 spoilers

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illgetmerope · 6 years

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🌸🌼 I think this fandom could do with some positivity so if you want to, why dont you pick 3 (or more) people that you dont normally talk to or havent talked to in a while and tell me one thing you like about them? Or if you feel uneasy about talking to new people just pick people you know better :) Then send this message to at least 5 other blogs that you like to keep this game up! 🌼🌸

Rust, how dare you attack me with this absolutely impossible ask. I love this fandom, and the people in it. I am also feeling delicate because no one at school wants to be my friend and I swear to god I am fun. So, let’s get sappy. I’m not gonna follow the rules at all- I’m going with 13 people. I’m gonna tell those folks how much I like ‘em. And they’re gonna listen because I’m tagging them. So there. But I’m also putting it under a cut because it’s gonna get long. Also, let’s be super clear: this is NOT a complete list of people I admire in the fandom, nor even a complete list of people I think of as friends. This is just people I feel the need to thank today.

@theprincessed was one of the first people who talked to me in this fandom. She’s been a super supportive soul, her tags are top notch, and whenever she writes it makes me smile. Plus she is wonderful at gushing over Robron. If you ever really need a good giddy happy conversation I super recommend Dani.

@irisnsc is one of the kindest people ever. She was definitely an early friend around here, and she helped point me in the direction of interesting blogs to follow and artists to admire. Her Robron song choices are always spot on, and I like hearing new music through her. She also brings me so much joy with little messages about her fav part of any drawing. It’s really meaningful when people reach out with that level of care.

@omarandjohnny is, of course, the biggest teddy bear on the planet. He is made of hugs and love. He listens to my INSANE song rewrites and once blogged so much in a day that ALL MY RECS were satanist blogs and I cried laughing. Also his aesthetic choices with cute guy reblogs are A+. And his tags. Yes yes yes.

@thesnowyswan Rae, where do I even begin? If you start typing on my computer www.archi it auto fills to her page on Ao3. I spent an hour staring at my computer trying to work up the courage to send her my first drawing I did for her. And then we started talking and it turns out? She’s smart and funny and a little dirty and SO good at feedback. She is a dream collaborator, and also just a fucking cool person. Plus she’s got such style and loves cider, so she is clearly the tops.

@sugdendingleaddict is someone who just managed to suddenly be an amazing friend. When I’m freaking out over something or flailing about robron she is RIGHT there with me. I think 90% of our messages are in all caps and laughter. She loves butts, and is an ambassador to the world on behalf of Ryan’s behind. She’s a fierce friend and protector, and I fucking love our chats. Five stars. Would friend again.

@getyourfaceoutofmyface is the best kind of nerd. She will nerd out with you about Robron and other things and THAT RULES. She’s kind and thoughtful and funny. She and I created a whole second robron child concept from a typo. A TYPO. She agrees with me that Danny is an absolute fox and gives me all the snuggle head canons for my instagrams. If you have ever thought a thing of mine was cute that’s Shauna’s cute brain. Not mine.

@howellobrien is one of the sunniest and kindest people I have ever met on the internet. Holly is the anti-troll. If you ever wonder… is the internet a place full of good? Go look at Holly’s page and you will be certain it’s the best. She loves to spread happiness, and we should all let her.

@littlelooneyluna is one of those authors that gives you a headcanon that sticks with you. Like, I genuinely sometimes catch myself wondering how great little skateboarding future Seb is going to be because of how she writes him. That’s absurd. He’s a baby! Also, her tags are fucking great.

@letthebluerain convinced me to love Pete. PETE. He’s a farmer who is dating a snore, but WHAT NOW I LOVE PETE. And Blue tells me about the world and has 100% correct opinions about Robert’s great arms, and all outfit choices pretty much, and makes up weird little scenes about wedding seating charts with me. Also, anytime anything good happens in this fandom it is because Blue is unable to watch TV. So, they are a god send.

@drawlallvowels supports my drinking and I love it. I swear Tina may have a chart that she refers to when I draw something and guesses if that piece was inspired by rum or vodka. She is a fucking hilarious tagger and a damn good writer of Robert the prostitute. Also she is the best at writing little backstories for drawings. I swear she knows more about them than I do!

@vckaarrob rocks my socks. She’s an absurdly amazing writer, she is correct in all ways about both Robert and Aaron’s grooming (hair and beard) and she’s crazy good at inspiration. Her teen AUs wormed their way into my soul. I do not understand how she can write that cute stuff and then write porn so well. She may be a witch, and I am here for it.

@robertisbisexual is my favorite filth encourager. If when I begin my kinktober work it will ALL be because of Mal, Vic, and Rae. Their bdsm fics are some of the absolute best. She is a fucking gifted writer and even made me like the insane crack ship that is Leyla/Robert for a second. Which is a statement. Because I have NEVER SEEN LEYLA ON EMMERDALE. Plus she’s just super supportive and cool.

@rustandruin is you, but YOU ARE GETTING NICE THINGS SAID ABOUT YOU, FRIEND-O. YOU ARE AMAZING. OK? UGH. Every conversation we have is top notch. I will eternally regret that I am not younger so that we could have been college friends because I swear we would have been. IMAGINE HANGING OUT AND EATING GELATO BY THE DUOMO WITH ME. IT COULD HAVE HAPPENED, RUST. AAARGH. ARG!!!!!

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pasta-and-hedgehogs · 2 years

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I had a good day today. I made myself a large breakfast and I ate it it was filling and its the first time in a while that feeling full hasnt made me feel bad I was content. I tried yoga again in the morning my knees complained very audibly I felt grounded and connected to myself I tried positive affirmations again this time they didnt feel cheesy or untrue. I sat in the park just before I built up this whole thing in my head that Owen was annoyed with me but again this is just me makeing shit up in my head and believeing it because mental illness and overthinking and anxiety. I was suprisingly ok when I went in his house it felt weird because me memmories of it are seeped with vodka and regret but I think I was able to enjoy myself(me jessie and owen went to the woods) My obsession was subdued and not in full force I think I was actually able to spend time with him as a friend and not wonder if he could like me or chose to love me it was nice to live in reality with him for once does this mean Im over him not fully like I was able to release the hope from my heart and I know we are just friends or maybe we aren't fully but thats not the end of the world. However its the thoughts that are my biggest hurdle at this point like it isnt always fully intense but I am always thinking about you and its nothing in perticular its just like a vibrational frequency in my head like the vibe of you hovering in my brain constantly there craving your presence and I just cant get rid of it theres no distraction in the world that can scrub this feeling out of my head its almost torture like I'm doing my best to get over this but some version of you is buried in my brain like a parasitic worm a tumor pulsating its presence is always known. Somehow we were talking about jesus or ⛪ from my older posts and we got on to the whole me being obsessive and how I made a playlist called "I baked you cookies how could you kiss her" and then I made a joke saying oh I dont really remember how I felt I can check my tumblr posts if you really want to know and then somehow I was reading out exerpts from some posts and it was quite scary to do tbh and I felt quite exposed and vulnerable but yea I think it was fun I didnt feel like I had to play a character or fit in a role I was being me. Well Mr Owen wanted to see my tumblr and I said no for reasons that are quite obvious because he doesnt even know that I had a crush on him (to my knowledge) let alone that I am this level of insane; he made jokes about reblogging on his tumblr and he made jokes about searching tumblr for it and if it was anyone other than those two (jessie and owen)who have been written about in the tumblr honestly part of me wants to know what he would say and think like if he saw the posts about him because most of them are when im in the trying to hate my obsession to get over them but it never works.

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anexperimentaldisaster-blog · 6 years

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Hope this is more fucking sincere

Its never easy to just start talking. Intros are so fucking hard; you have to reach out with your voice and break through the brick wall of silence. I'm not good enough at it. One of the reasons why I lack friends to such a high extent is that I can't fucking figure life out. I dont know how to talk to people in the most basic fashion. Worse even, I dont really know if I want to. God damned cat and mouse game, them and me. Either I wanna stay friends and they leave or they wanna stay friends and I leave. Never in the fucking middle. I mean Jesus fuck, I've got nobody left. Yeah, of course I'm the one to blame for it. I'm a self admitted bitch; if I dont like you I'm not about to fucking hang out. And I talk too much about dumb shit. I drive people mental. They can't deal with how fucking insane I am, the way I talk like I'm better or some shit. I jump off the cliff and expect them to follow, and no one fucking does. It'd be better if it was in person. At least then I've got some fucking iota of self god damned decency. But I can't. Its all over text. My fucking universe is all over text. I mean fucking hell. I wanna scream but there'd be no one around to hear me. Am I ok? It wouldnt matter if I was or not. If no one is around to see me, do I exist? I'm so fucking tired of running around in circles, of texting people. I fucking hate texting people. I just wanna be ok. I just wanna be normal. Or, I wish I could just want to be normal. Of course my brain wouldnt fucking let me do that. I'm going crazy and the worms just keep digging thier eat in, infesting me, crawling under my skin and out of my eyes. I mean at this point just fucking kill me.

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glitter-dean-rights · 2 years

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So, what do ya reckon Orville's SPNsona is(/spn kin)..?

part2: "like who from spn he kins? maybe he's self-inserting into the fic.., does that make sense? Im so serious about this, btw, love ur desktop theme <3"

OKAY FIRST OF ALL this is so far up my alley i cant even begin to process it!!! also hiiiiii thank you this is very sweet i keep fucking up the colors and it needs some emotional support but tyyyyyy <33

i hope ur ready for me to take this SO seriously !!!

i think the question is fair but orville peck like kinda isnt a person? hes the concept of a person like he doesnt exist like he ~does~ and you can figure out stuff from his songs but like also what is he doing what does he want ya know hes kinda like a straw man of audience projections which is ALSO what dean is basically

like they both sorta exist as vessels (lol) for people to like understand or interpret their art where like orville is very much like all about mystery man focus on the emotions and the music and dean is much more like the lens of the story of supernatural like everything (esp in later seasons) is like filtered through how HE feels (a lot of people have said this a lot better than i but they are correct and i am agreeing) so i think there's an obvious parallel there. Also dean would be so horny for cowboy orville sorry not related but its simply true

ok so like i guess the question becomes kinda like two parts for me like 1: what songs lyrics make me go bananasinsanecrazy when applied to supernatural and 2: which aspects of orvilles fake person outlines would different characters of supernatural apply themselves to WHICH is a very fun question to answer so hi gonna answer them both in a way that makes no sense

i think like the like obvious is like hes hot he gets kicked out of bars hes sad he wants to have a home he misses a home that doesnt exist nobody ever sees his real face he knows his way around a truck stop hes lonely hes gay he believes in the imagery of taillights in the distance and like slow dancing in a dusty bar on the side of the road he just wants someone to stay hes full of emotion but you cant tell he wants to be a cowboy he wants to not be attached hes so full of emotion hes gonna burst (also im sorry but "buddy we've got major blues/another suitcase in your hand" like hello "wouldnt it be nice if i could sleep in my own bed/wouldnt it be nice if i could let the dead stay dead/wouldnt it be swell if i could get things off my chest" HELLO sorry im adding question 1 into my answer also if u think too hard about fancy u might get a brain anneurism so dont do that i know its a cover miss reba really did something with that also winds change dead of night god dont even get me started sorry i keep adding to this but listen to blush sometime and think dean thoughts "fishermans son my dad liked to run/cant picture ur face but i know it was pretty" theres SO MANY) very deancoded it must be said

BUT ALSO if u think too hard about castiel and drive me crazy u will get brain worms confirmed also kalahari down "on your daddys farm/you say your afraid, tell me not to frown" unwell BUT THE KICKER if you ever want to lose all ur braincells listen up buddy lets go heres the thing "back on the run/back to the blue/winning is fun/losing is too" roses are falling guaranteed breakdown "the ache inside/the hate/i found a way/to sit and wait/and now i cant/your voice/your face/without a trace/ill wait for you" LIKE HELLO going insane does anyone want anything

idk im sure sam has like feelings and stuff too but ill be honest i dont care asdkjfhsdk (no not really like i love sam my weird little 'maybe theres something fundamentally wrong with me' boy but i have no lyrics that make me want to gnaw on glass like they do with some other people but like turn to hate maybe if u wanna go a little insane "take me back to the time i was yours you were mine/take me back to the world i know" he said i just want to be normal i miss the love of my life im undone "i hope to die" like hello trials arc im trying not to let the sorrow turn to hate i see it) ((could this also be applied to dean yes but we're gonna let sammy keep some personality traits)) (((also must be noted that maybe orville is not the man for sam)))

#im gonna make one of those lyric comparison posts #but listening to this mans tunes and thinking has rendered me unable to do stuff or think #wow crazy #also hiii im so touched that someone wanted to hear my silly little brain throughts #answered #anon im in love with you #mwah #also theres more to say but im posting this #are there other characters in supernatural #maybe #oh wait curse of the blackened eye could also be samcoded

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brokenworddiary · 3 years

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The start of a self-acknowledgement journey.

First of all, i wanted to talk about what this blog is gonna be about.

I don’t wish for it to become famous or anything, this is just a place where i’ll store things i write, because i’m not a huge fan of writing on paper, though it can be a very relaxing feeling, compared to the feeling of writing an essay, its very tiring and becomes tedious overtime.

Having disclosed what this blog is going to be about, i wanted to start with a few questions i have inside my brain that have been acidicly eating it from the inside, and i feel the need to answer to them, before i finally become insane, if i’m not already.

For starters, what is I?

I have a body, which is constructed out of bones and muscles and tissue. And also my head, which contains what some call a “soul”. Which i prefer to call my “self awareness”. I am aware of my surroundings, i can feel myself type, i can feel the air going in and out of my lungs, i can feel the dinner i just had inside my stomach, and i can feel the chair under my butt. Now a back pain, because i’ve been sitting all day. But i cannot seem to understand or, in this case, be aware of, what i am. What am I? Is I a recollection of all those things, crumpled up together like a cake batter homogenously mixed? Is I the cake batter, sprinkled with memories and melancholy? Is i the unfrosted cake, but missing a piece?

I never understood what is being I really meant. And i reffer to I as in third person, because that’s basically how i look at myself when i try to understand what happens inside this mix of organic matter and... thoughts? Is I thoughts? Is I a bunch of thoughts and memories and crushed hopes and... unfrosted cakes?

The second question is, why does I belong?

I don’t want to sound depressive, although i have been diagnosed with severe depression, but I must say this in the most crude way possible, so I can express myself in the most truthful way possible. I don’t know what is the purpose of I being here, this exact moment. Is it to be writing this? Is it to clean wounds on my cat? Is it to take care of my compost bin worms? Is it just for the sake of keeping my family alive, just because she has no other reason to live for, so the I has to be IT? Obligatedly? Forced. I discussed this issue with my therapist once, she keeps talking about the most wonderful things I still have to live for, and how wonderful my life could be. Could be. But i see no truth in that. She’s just trying to do the job she is paid to do, because if she doesn’t and if i kill myself because she neglected me treatment, she goes to jail. Do you, on the other side of the screen, understand what i’m trying to say? In the mind (soul, if you prefer) of mine, there is no wonderful things, there is no expectations for my life to be wonderful in any way. If people are supposed to live a happy life, they start having a happy life. They dont start having a happy life after 25 years old of misery and destruction. They don’t start their lives being paranoid and consumed by darkness and self doubt, low self esteem. And honestly, one quote couldn’t be more true to me, which says “Therapy doesn’t work on me, i know all the tricks”.

The third and final question is, is I here for long?

Oddly enough, i try not to think of that too much. I try to set a space for that question and let it rest with my other little garden of destructive thoughts. But it must be issued in this first of many expressions of my depressive state of mind.

After several suicidal attempts, the last one not being completed because i was guilty of killing my grandmother in the process (not directly, but of sadness), i concluded that i don’t deserve to die. Not because i deserve to live, but because i don’t have the guts to pursue my desires and my objectives. Living is hard. Dying is easy.

Living, for me, is with waking up in the morning to find out a loved one died. It’s spending the day looking at the ceiling because you have absolutely nothing to do or don’t wish to do anything. It’s waiting for the night to come just because you have a grand, enourmous, gigantic wish to sleep, so that the days pass faster and you can spend 8 hours outside of your reality.

Dying is living outside your reality. Forever. Where you don’t have to worry about anyone or anything, debts, love, pain, suffering. Death is bliss. It’s when you relieve yourself from your body form and just.... Doesn’t live anymore.

And i still didn’t answer the question, right?

The answer is, i don’t know how much longer i can keep going. How much longer my fingers can hold the tree roots im hanging onto, over a cliff. One thing i know for certain is the I cannot take any more shit and i am sorry for the wording, but there’s no other that describes better what my life is. Shit. Complete, useless, spread up, stinking fucking shit.

I really do not know how to answer the third question, though. I hope some day i’ll find my answer.

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survivor-iceland · 5 years

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Ep. 1 - “How does one socialize again?” - Dylan C

Maynor

The game has finally started. Let’s see how i do in my last game before I take a long break from playing.

Sierra

As soon as the cast was revealed, it was so exciting! I started looking around, and I really feel like I have a strong tribe. I can't wait to get to know people, hear how they think about the game... and I also hope that I'm able to build some strong bonds, too! My greatest fear in this game is probably getting voted out first. So as long as it isn't me...

Zoe Malzone

Before the challenge I was added into an alliance group with sierra, cormac, and john later entitled "oh, worm?" i also spoke a bit to stephen who congratulated me on not being silent and still being a newbie. I volunteered for the bamboo chopping challenge and got too sweaty and the cup slipped off my finger at eight minutes. However, I did make a little bond with the people I participated with, and the host *didn't* say we could potentially make an alliance with each other, which I then hinted at. Nobody said anything about it, but it's not... not a possibility.

Raffy

Alright, let's get into it. I am getting good vibes from Joseph right off the bat. I feel like him and I are going to get along swimmingly throughout the competition. I think Ellie believes that we have an alliance straight off that bat, but I won't forget how she tried to snake me out. So, I will be cautious of her at best. Other than that, Dylan C. is pretty cool and I am excited to play with them again which is wild. That's like back to my ORG origins right there. I think our tribe is going to kill the challenge, but I had to give up what I wanted to do because someone can't read apparently. But, c'est la vie. I'll try my best with winterbells but I cannot guarantee I'll do well

Keith John

Well I joined the group later, wasnt able to chat due to the time difference. No one approached me with a private chat except for cormac, So atleast I know one person made the effort.

I spoke to Stephen, since we were teamed up for the same portion of the challenge. seemed like I would have connected with him. But I dont know why, he doesnt seem very chatty with me. Since he is the only other one with a big time difference, Im hoping he aint gona use that to try and make me boot number one.

I am gona try and see if I can touch base with jack, he was nice and accommodating towards me for the challenge. Hopefully il be able to connect with him

John

Ok, so i think i made an alliance last night? I figured having an alliance of at least half the tribe would be a safe move. I’m honestly fearful it’s just gonna blow up in my face somehow but that’s just the anxiety talking hahahaha. TimmyMy arms hurt!! That challenge was a lot, but I’m shocked I lasted for 2 hours. I knew I couldn’t beat Maynor because he’s amazing at endurance comps. I know I’m good at them but i am able to recognize when someone is better than me at something. During the challenge Zoe proposed a cross tribal alliance between me, her, Dylan C, and Maynor and honestly I’m here for it.

Obviously I’m going to work with Maynor, so being able to be in an alliance with him that i didn’t have to make is so convenient. Today I’ll spend time talking to people and making connections, but I hope for now I showed that I can be helpful in challenges even though I didn’t win.

Kieran

Right now, I'm a little worried. I didn't get a chance to make the same first impressions and relationships like everyone else did, so I need to play catch-up.

Kieran

When speaking to Raffy, immediately this person is not someone I think I can trust. I just have a gut feeling about it.

Raffy

I spent my morning playing Winterbells which is not the most fun experience. However, I do feel confident that I'll carry this for the tribe! Besides that, I've reached out to Keith and Sierra from the other tribe. Keith sort of gives me weird vibes and he isn't the most entertaining to talk to. I have to manage somehow though. Luckily, I'm not on his tribe for the time being. Sierra seems really sweet. I want to see if I can work with her since she also seems nice and active. Those are good ally traits. Also Kieran messaged me today. And his second message to me was asking me if any alliances were made yet. I mean wig. But don't be a crackhead! It's only day 2 with no tribe calls. That's kind of crackhead behavior. I'm obsessed, but I do hope that means that he doesn't shoot himself in the foot. I'll keep my distance for the time being

Raffy

Keith is telling me that people on his tribe are not messaging him which is not a good sign. So, I don't want him as an ally if he's already going to be the social pariah of his tribe

Raffy

And now Keith just told me that he wants to isntantly work together come a merge or swap. It's day 2!!!!! I don't know you!!!!

Kieran

I've been assigned the task of making a cross-alliance with someone from my tribe and two people from the other tribe. I could not be feeling more #blessed right now, because something like this is right up my alley!

Raffy

According to Ellie, she got herself in a 4 person cross tribal alliance with Cormac, Sierra, and Joseph. My threat alert is already on high. An alliance that I'm not a part of is an alliance that is a threat. She says that it was Cormac's idea and that he is being "overly strategic." I'm instantly getting bad vibes from him. He has got to go before he can cause any more damage. My connection with Ellie is already proving fruitful. I hope I can harvest at some point

Raffy

I finally did it. I've messaged everyone in this game. I blame Jay that I have to talk to all these people. It's too much for my small brain. I do not get good vibes from Cormac at all. I think he's a threat to my game for sure. Hopefully, the other tribe sees his bad vibes and take him out. Otherwise, I'll have to do it myself

Dylan C

How does one socialize again? I keep starting a lot of convos with the standard "Hi! How are you?" because I don't want to come off too strong. But on the flip side, I don't want to seem like I'm boring and can't hold a conversation, either. Video confessional with more to come soon.

Dylan C

https://youtu.be/MeQwz9yEPuM

Sierra

I'm feeling pretty good about where I am in the game right now. I have a few different alliances, which puts me in a pretty good spot in terms of navigating the game at this point in time. I feel closest right now to John and Cormac -- both of whom are in two of my alliances and both of whom have approached me for a final two. I've taken a page from Rob Cesternino and Stephen Fishbach's book and said yes to anyone who approaches me with an alliance. However, right now I'm definitely sticking with my first one over anyone else -- Cormac, Zoe, John and myself. We added Keith as a fifth to have a majority, too... but the four is where it's at for me!

Dylan C

me: I'm just being pessimistic but we're probably going to tribal us: [lost the challenge]

I love jinxing shit

Cormac Marek

My frail body shivers in utter delight. A romance brews between the tips of my eyebrows. Who goes into the strange night without protection? Only the few with their shields split between the castor iron. I crackle through the frozen tundra on my broom stick. Powers have ceased to scoot me over the ground. This is not a real broom stick. Yet I run with the branch between my thighs through the snow, cackling like a wild beast. A foot I go. Smoke wanders through the dried leaves above my glowing head. Moonlight reflects upon my smooth skin like a shining river stone. Joyous delight I cannot barely contain! I peek my eyes through the thick of the trees to see the shadowy outlines of Maynor and Stephen. I recognize them by their ignorance. Most say bliss can be found in this state of delusion but I chose a different path. Not one of foolish misdeeds, careless endeavors. My wet tongue grazes my lips in anticipation. Watching them like an owl to a mouse. Snow has turned black beneath my toe nails. Is this a sign from the Gods above? Those retched beings who guide me? Yes, must be. My eyes widen. They must be struck down like sandpaper to wood. Dice are in my pocket. I am ready to roll my numbers. Two fours roll out into the snow pile. I do not know these numbers. Unfamiliar to my mind. My third eye quivers. Oh! I will take the risk even if the dice deceive me. These two figures will be the next to go. Drug limp through the snow as I whack them and go.

Cormac Marek (code 23)

I am stranded in Iceland marooned on a tundra. This bloody tribe has only built a flimsy shack in the past twenty-four hours. Utter blasphemy. They should all have letters sown into their clothes for this offence. I need comfort. Howling winds ripen my cheeks right up like a banana placed atop a raw lime. Tears roll down my rigid face at the thought of sleeping another night out here. Last moon cycle I huddled up next to Zoe and Jonathan. Our body heat kept us warm. Sierra was wonderful to listen to as the stars shone above. Telling jokes, laughing at our very human humor together as a group. All except Jack. That man of firm muscles. He has been off outside the shack in the middle of the night humming like a mad man. Ridiculous behavior unfit for the royalty that lied within the shack’s walls heaped up like a pile of ash. His mouth uttering obscene things. Jack often rambles about the craziest affairs. How his mother was born in Russia. Her heritage in Romania. How his cousin once cut a piece of his ankle off in a mud fight. Jack was insane. Zoe and I often spoke of this in the shack. Ah! Too simpleton of a name. Shack. Makes me want to puke. I stood in the center of the shelter, spun around ten times in a row, shouted for joyous applause and then sat back down. They all watched me as I deliberated the name of the shack. “It shall be heard on this wicked day of the 16th calendar year that this shack in which we sit in shall be hereby dubbed, ‘Cranklins Buzzom.’ Oh yes! How they all whooped, cheered and hollered. John gave me a necklace made out of rabbit bones for the courage it took me to come up with a name. Zoe threw dead leaves on my bald head to make the occasion sweet like candy. I danced in the middle while we all touched fingers together. We spent the next hour swaying back and forth. Moving our bodies like the dandelions in spring. All but Jack. Wild men do wild things to their own wild needs. He was out once more humming to himself. I could see him through the glorious arms of my tribemates. “Mm Vonderful Everyone!” My voice was cracked now from rampant speeches, shouting on till sunrise about squash soup and the what it means to die. Where do we go when we wake up? What do dreams mean? Zoe has given me supple answers to satisfy my philosophical exuberance. Cormac Marek (code wow)Golden crowns are placed gently over our graceful heads. I sit atop a throne of melting gold. It oozes between my grasp. Silver stretches through my veins like rapids. Those who whisper pleasurable things in my ears bring me great news! I lay back in a beach of three alliances. White sand soft to the touch. Ellie and Joseph have taken me in as their own. Raffy presents me with platters of succulent grapes. My teeth crush the flesh of the fruit for sacred matrimony. Sierra has a seat beside me on the throne made of feathers. Her words float with mine like a bird that takes flight. Zoe is equal in measure, following accordance to the laws I have sown. A core three to dominate the world among us. My strong hands rattle at a steel chain. Links that draw down from my throne all the way to a pit that holds the unclean. Within this dirt pit lies four individuals. They are imprisoned for the time being. Jack’s chain collar around his neck holds him in a firm foundation. Maynor has given up trying to dig his way out of the pit in recent days. From time to time the royalty of the palace gawk over the pit in giggles. Our laughter and pointed fingers at those who do not wish to play. They won’t engage in the grand game! How dare they! Stephen is our jester. Hopping around on two feet. I hold Kieran in my lap, petting like I would a new puppy. Our dinner parties are the most jubilant! My closest allies sit at the front of the long table with me. We throw food at Jack on occasion. “Oh, ha. Ha. Yes! Why my darling do you speak of me?” Justin started to fall of his chair. “I did not say a thing Cormac! Please don’t throw the gorgeous rotten tomato at my body again!” I am furious! Purple faced! “How dare you! You are from Spain! Timmy is hiding there and you refuse to tell me! Take him away!” Spit drools down my chin. John grabs Justin by the ribcage and drags him out of the marble hall. “My week is ruined now you insulant foolish people! All except you my dears.” I turn to Zoe and Sierra to compete in our secret handshake. After which I stand a top the long table to proclaim my frustrations. “Find Timmy! Bring him to me in one piece! Go now! Hurry! My belly can’t wait much longer!” God am I full. Stuffing was thick this morning. Raffy must have put extra butter in the food again.

Ellie

So, Bitch is a little scared. I didn’t preform well but I was at a debate tournament. Also if we’ve learned anything from my last game it’s that I’m good with persuasion so I’m asking around to get names and Kieran hasn’t really been social or a help in challenges so I’m leaning towards that choice but we shall see

Ellie

I have nothing against Kieran personally, he just seems like the Gigi of this season. Although I hope to god that my tribe is not a mea repeat

Ellie

We’re trying to play calmly this time, I’m letting the names come to me. I’m throwing names out there without actually saying the names and I’m proud of myself, fuck you marie lmaooo

Ellie

I just realized that I’m the only girl on my tribe wtf, I don’t like that. We’ll live tho

Maynor

Its been two days since cup challenge and my arms are still kinda sore. Unloading the truck yesterday was not fun at all. But im glad that my hard effort helped us win immunity. Everyone else dod amazing in their parts. I really like my tribe. Im currently talking to Zoe, Cormac (think i misspelled it, im sorry) and Stephen. Hopefully im good socially that im not an easy out. I need to continue on my idol search

Raffy

I got chosen to participate in Joseph's and Ellie's idol hunts. I am very grateful for the position because it means, out of everyone, they got the best vibes from me. This is a good sign that my social game is carrying me. Hopefully that means I can trust them later. I gave Ellie the advantage path because I plan on working with her in the future, so it'd be best if I had an advantage on my side. Since I do not really talk to Joseph but like him, I gave him a dead end. Better than getting a disadvantage in my opinion. I cannot believe we lost the challenge, but I guess I should believe considering that people didn't seem to try or care. It frustrates me that Ellie and Kieran did not even try on the challenge. That is just so ugly. My vote will probably go to Kieran because he's barely active whereas Ellie is. Plus, I want to use Ellie as my ally for the future. Let's see how that goes. I think the group consensus will be Kieran as Ellie and Justin both have told me so.

John

oh my god my plan worked. not only did we win, but i didn’t get the clue. i DEFINITELY did not want that target on my back, especially this early. but the downside of all of this is that i seriously don’t know who we would go after if we lose the next challenge, so that’s great. love that.

Cormac Marek (code fisa)

Frivolous swirls of insanity encompass my legs. They run where I tell them not to go, they climb where I dare not go. Storms are a brew in the far horizon. Delightful beckons to the ship’s quarters. Out on this dangerous sea lies two heartfelt apologies. Maynor has come to me in rags. Sweat, mucky, like a swine before dinner time. Slop to the finest hour. I have just caught word that Sierra may have former allegiances to the British crown. Here on our swamp ship of misfits we do not find the posh so delectable. Timmy is still beyond the narrow ocean hiding with his mystical forces. My greatest foe, my closest lover. Two woven in with the other. My chair is plastered with the skulls of those come to perish. Eye sockets whirling with squirming worms. “I thought you knew what I wanted Maynor! I want Timmy’s head on a platter! Get out of my sight before I have to bring Keith into my bedchambers to whip you again! Ten lashes for each word spoken against me!” Maynor retreats off into the underbelly of my ship. “Come here my love, my sweet seashell.” Zoe draws herself behind my shoulder and rolls out a scroll of activity. “Sierra was Timmy’s long-lost lover. I have seen it in my prophesies at sunrise. She knows Maynor from a past life and both of the Dylan folk!” Zoe gasps at the pure horror of her own revelation. I spit out my roast mutton in agony. A bone is stuck in my throat. “I’m choking on my own dispositions!”

Salt spreads through my open mouth as I stare gaping at the dark sea. Where will this lead our ship? Will a betrayal bubble from below the surface? Will Davy Jones come to imprison me in his locker? Only blood, time, and friction will show the path ahead.

cormy marek

Gameplay analysis:

From day one I made sure to message every single person. This would make sure I was in on that first batch of important alliances.

By doing so Joseph contacted me and brought Ellie + Sierra into a cross-tribal alliance.

The Worms Alliance consisted of a solid four with myself, Zoe, John, and Sierra.

This made sure I was inside the vote decisions.

Then I made sure to solidify my alliances with Sierra and Zoe to be made stronger.

The Frozen Five happened without my knowing. I believe Zoe invited me. This only added Keith to the equation who we need for a majority.

Then I caught word Sierra already knew Maynor, Timmy, and Dylan from past games. This meant that I had to now connect with Maynor more so he could recommend me to Sierra. He said he had not spoken to her yet but that could be a lie.

Raffy seems like someone I could drag into our numbers at a swap. Our cross-tribal alliance makes things sweeter.

I’m trying to pull a Noura so I can be drug into the merge but at the same time engaging in forward game chat with Zoe, Sierra, and John as to not seem like a drifter.

Right now I am trying to pull Keith closer to me. Jack is in outer space. We don’t know where he is.

So in Melrakki I am in on the majority, core, and inner workings.

Jack is on the outs. Maynor might be in cahoots with Sierra. Stephen has not made strong connections yet.

Kieran, Dylan R, and Timmy are not speaking with me yet. Odd considering we could swap at any time. I need their numbers on my side.

I shared the clue in One World to put the target off my back and give everyone equal opportunity. I do not want the idol so it works in my favor. We shall see how the next challenge goes.

Ellie

Seeing as I’m the youngest (well, I assume I am) and the only girl on my tribe I feel like the little sister, and I will definitely use that to my advantage

Timmy

Ellie literally messaged me hi and the next message was my thoughts on tribal. Like i don’t know you nor would I give you all my thoughts thus far for a name after one hi. Also, I’m about to lose my vote because these slide puzzles are extra.

Dylan C

https://youtu.be/zPAsozK6pqY

Ellie

THERES THREE GIRLS IN THIS GAME WE NEED TO STAY STRONG

Joseph (survivor Iceland Winner)

I made a nice cross-streams alliance with Elle, cormac, and Sierra. I didn’t get to the idol. Poopy. But I have some ideas in the works. But we need to win at least one immunity before I try to get any threats out. Kieran is almost definitely going home. Tonight at tribal, I plan on voting for raffy, because nobody else will. And I don’t want him to feel too safe. Throw some paranoia at him and then I might convince him to join an alliance with me. We shall see.

Raffy

Ellie is telling me how she's bonding with Zoe over being the only two girls on this tribe. I told her that she should include me in their little alliance that will no doubt be formed between them. Ellie is looking to be more and more of a social threat. I need to keep her close, otherwise I might find myself on the other side of a majority alliance following her.

Justin

So, my tribe is pretty chill. I don't really have anything negative to say about anyone thus far. Besides Raffy kinda gives me annoying vibes. Not sure why, but something about him just annoys me. Other than that, Timmy and I get along pretty well, and I can see myself aligning with him in the future. Ellie as well I vibe with pretty good. Everyone else is pretty meh as of now. As of now, I'm only building connects and feeling the vibes of the others. With that, I want to take out the people I'm least connected to, so that I know what's up with everyone. This might be because I find him kinda annoying, but I want Raffy out soon. He definitely is a talker, and I feel like he will try to take my niche in game of being connected with everyone. However, I think it is too early to go at him since I don't want to call the shots too early, and I'm sure people will object to that as the first vote. So for the first tribal, I want to vote out a person who is least connected to everyone to make the tribe more unified, and make sure I'm not the first one out. That person being Kieran. Everyone I have talked to has said his name, so I'm going along cuz that is not my name. Plus, he barely talks to me too so I don't care.

Raffy

It seems that everyone is good with voting Kieran, unless I am getting blindsided which would not be cute. However, I believe that this tribe won't be messy the very first tribal council.

Keith is so desperate to pry information from Ellie and I about tribal council. Like you do not have to know nor do you have to care. He needs to be careful because his prying nature can give off bad vibes to certain people. Though he did tell Ellie that Stephen seems to be on the outs with his tribe.

cormac marek

Justin just came to me thinking I was in his tribe when in fact we are on different tribes. His tribe is going to council tonight but I'm safe. He thinks we are voting together when I don't even have his vote! Said as long as we stuck together tonight we should be ok. He is going to gasp when he realizes I am not on his tribe! So they are voting for Kieran! Insider knowledge is great. Poor kid. "We should be good, I think we're safe as long as Kieran goes home. Who are you voting for." I told him I was going to vote for Kieran. ZoeCormac and I got really close this morning, and confirmed each other as trusted partners. We have an order for if things go wrong and we have to vote somebody off, but we're also both feeling confident that our alliance is a strong one. I'm not so sure about Maynor, because I feel like he doesn't talk very much. I can't get a read on whether or not he has aligned with other people, and if he ends up getting an idol clue I'm not sure whether or not I'd be able to pull him in, based on a super short conversation we had during the bamboo chopping challenge about aligning after merge.

Stephen

So guess who didnt make a confessional yet? This guy. Oops. So Maynors in my tribe, yay, love that guy, but also eek, good player. Coin toss on whether I try and work with him this game. Cormac or whoever really weirds me out. Sierra seems really cool though I like them. Also this idol hunt system being full of jigsaw puzzles? Iconic.

Jack

I bonded with all gays, so that was fun. Thinking of starting something with Raffy and Ellie after merge, but Cormac and Sierra and I seem to be good.

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