#instead of expecting me to answer for all the ills of psychiatry or every possible variation an variable in a situation i know 3 lines abou

[violentviolette]

idk why people treat you like an expert on mental illness and not just a tumblr blogger

its not entirely on them tbh, i think ppl are desperate for help in a time when mental health shit is both everywhere but also 90% of it is dead wrong, and so the moment they find somone who is making sense and is accessible they just kind jump in head first which is partly my own doing, like i do very much present myself in this space as someone who is both knowlegeable about mental health and also willing to give advice and speak on topics. so like while i am still very very much just Some Guy and not at all an expert, im also some guy with a college degree in sociology, counseling experience, multiple mental illnesses and almost 20 years experience with multiple different types of therapy and in the system. which i think for a lot of people is more than most of the other sources they're looking at

so like i get why ppl come here and ask me stuff and i dont mind at all, i just wish they would take it with a grain of salt when something i say doesnt apply to them or makes them feel some type'a way

[asking-jude]

TW self harm I hadn’t done it in two months and today I cut 😔 I feel like such a failure.

Hi there-

Thanks for reaching out to Asking Jude. I admire the bravery, courage, and vulnerability it must have taken for you to be honest about your cutting struggles. As an individual who struggles with mental illness and other destructive coping mechanisms, I understand completely where you are coming from, and I know that there is help. 

First off, please explore the possible reasons why you cut. You said that you relapsed, which tells me that you have been working hard to not cut. In order to continue with this recovery plan, it is necessary to identify what triggered your cutting behavior so you can know what to do in the future whenever you have the feeling. 

You can ask yourself the following questions which may help you to identify the negative feelings or situations that lead to self-injury:

• What was going on in my life when I first began to injure myself?• How do I feel just before I want to injure myself?• What are my habits and routines? Am I always in the same place or with a particular personwhen I get the urge to injure myself?• Do I always feel the same emotion when I get the urge to injure myself?• How can I better deal with the situations that trigger me?

You may want to keep a diary in which you write down your feelings at different times so that

you can better answer these questions.

Reach out to a therapist if you do not already have one. Individuals who self-harm are having trouble expressing their emotions in constructive ways. They may be going through intense depression, anxiety, stress or other mental illnesses which can be helped with the aid of a therapist. For your convenience, here is a link to a therapist/psychologist web search: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists. Here is a link that describes how you can find low-cost therapy and psychiatry: https://www.moneyunder30.com/affordable-therapy. 

Please, if you ever feel like you are in a crisis, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. If you don’t feel like you have enough energy to talk, you can message a crisis-line person at https://www.crisistextline.org/ Text HOME to 741741. This is also a self-harm hotline. 

Please see these articles on other coping mechanisms that you can do instead of self-harm. These will help you as you try to uphold your commitment to not using self-harm as a coping mechanism. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-truth-about-exercise-addiction/201708/15-things-do-instead-self-harming

http://www.selfinjury.bctr.cornell.edu/perch/resources/distraction-techniques-pm-2.pdf

In regards to you feeling like a failure, please know that I understand where you are coming from. You worked so hard over the course of the last two months to avoid self-harm, and then something triggered it in you. I want you to know that you have every right to feel disappointed and frustrated, but I want to remind you that self-harm is very addictive and the fact that you went two months without it is worth celebrating. Please see the positive in this - you went 60 days without using self-harm. Hopefully, from now on, the periods in between relapses will become longer and longer. No one expects you to be perfect and no longer engage in self-harm. Most people will relapse. That is why it is so important to have compassion on yourself when this happens and check in with a therapist to explore why this happened. Then keep on going. I believe in you. 

Wishing you all the best, 

Breanna Shearin 

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