#interacting with blogs i havent touched in a year | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wandering-doves · 2 months

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16.04.2024

i asked a guy i've been interacting with on tumblr for like the last 8 months, if he wanted my number and boy do i regret it [but not for the reasons you may think]

so, as i mentioned we've been getting to know each other and messaging for like 8 months. i remember the first time he messaged me... it was completely random. he'd liked a couple of posts/reblogs and followed me before reaching out and sending a simple greeting. i was naturally very suspicious as it had been years since anyone had messaged me on tumblr and since it was so out of the blue, i was very cagey and cold. he persevered another 2 days before caging up himself when i asked for his name. then he dropped off for about a month. when he returned again, it was to apologise for clamming up. i told him not to worry as he was entitled to his privacy. and then he did something that really surprised me. he gave me his name and a little snippet of his story. he told me that he was feeling lonely and wanting to make friends and that he was going to try chatting to people on here again and sort of freaked out. i let him know that i understood, as i was also being cagey. once we both were on the same page, things were okay. we would checking in every now and then, ask basic getting to know you questions and chat about our day. i got more and more comfortable with the idea of him as a friend and opened myself up to him little by little. sometimes i would reach out to him and not receive a message back for months, bc he would take breaks from tumblr [i'm assuming for his mental health, which is understandable]. he would reply when he next came online and we would chat more. he ended up seeing what i looked like through my side blog and began complimenting me on my looks. occasionally, he would ask a sexual question and i would answer it as honestly as i could. [normally, i wouldn't tolerate that shit, but i was starting to like him.] his line of questioning got more personal as time went on and it felt like maybe we were connecting. so as the months progressed, naturally, i thought maybe i wasn't delusional and that he liked me for me [i sent him a full body pic and it was received relatively well, i think] so i thought that maybe he would be interested in continuing this outside of the confines of this website and decided to work up the courage to ask him if he wanted my number. this is where it goes wrong. he meets my question with a question and i start to think that this is already a bad start and maybe i misread the situation. am i wrong for thinking that a man who's called me pretty and cute and hot would want my number? am i? well apparently, because he never ended up saying yes. this felt as good as rejection and immediately the walls came up and i started being short with him. I even wrote "i'll take that as a no then" to which he replied some bullshit like "i twasn't a no at all" and all i could think was "yeah but it wasn't a yes either", which is as good as imo. he wanted an explanation for why i wanted this bc he always assumed he was bugging me [which btw is another thing i want to touch on. in the past, he has mentioned feeling like he bugs me quite often and i thought i'd been doing enough to let him know that that was simply not the case but ofc that was his reasoning this time too] and i explained that i liked talking to him and wanted to respect the time he takes off from tumblr bc ik it can be disruptive and it was met with an "im sorry if..." and that shit makes my blood boil so i havent responded back to him. it's been over 24 hours since he replied to me. i spent that afternoon absolutely bawling my eyes out. then i spent the evening upset too. i was having big feelings, for sure and couldn't deal with them. i feel maybe i was too harsh but he was too.

anyway, i've been listening to sad music and crying abt anything and everything lmao...

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di1aurentis · 1 year

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𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐒 of 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐒. written by quin, he / they, 24, nz. also found on @werewo1f and @rotturn.

I AM HEAVILY HEADCANON BASED AND CANON NON-COMPLIANT, THERE WILL BE HEAVY USE OF AUS, CURRENTLY FOCUSING HEAVILY ON HER “THE QUARRY” AU. to be honest i havent seen the show in years and when i did watch i only saw s1-3, 4x24, 5x24, 6x01, and 7x20. i didn't like what i saw of alison after she came back, so my ali is practically an original character from that point on and will be more similar to the ali we saw in flashbacks. in my portrayal, alison is A . D . the reveal we got sucked and ali being the big bad all along makes way more sense. this video explains how and why it works and will be default for my interactions.

THIS BLOG USES THE BETA EDITOR & UNTIL JANUARY 27TH I AM STRICTLY MOBILE - REPLIES WILL BE UNFORMATTED AND UNCUT.

rules below the cut, info doc coming soon.

i'm quin, 24, he / they, from new zealand. i am also found on rotturn and werewo1f. i will be using the BETA EDITOR as this blog does not have the legacy editor option.

i primarily write alison after returning from her disappearance, though may touch upon her time missing. she disappears at the age of fifteen and is missing for three years at the very least. that said THERE COULD BE SMUT ON THIS BLOG. i don’t promise it, but it’s possible. it'll be tagged as NSFT CW

there will be HEAVILY TRIGGERING content here. manipulation, blackmail, bullying, body horror, kidnapping, being held hostage, werewolves, gore, blood, etc will all be heavily heavily prominent. i will tag imagery where i can, but these are key to alison’s character and will be touched upon.

no h*rry p*tter muses, no j*hnny d*pp fcs, no transphobic or racist muses or fcs.

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chelleztjs18 · 1 year

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Hello you mrs. curious honey nut cheerio 😅

Well that's good that it turned out tasty. Do you not cook a lot or do you just not do pasta dishes? Also, I would go with the tiramisu. I'm actually going to learn how to make that for Christmas. I just gotta find lady fingers lol

Yup, I've commented on some of your stories before. Maybe I'll try to start reblogging and commenting more with other authors. It just doesn't go with my blog though lol for the new year, I'll start a new blog with just all writing stuff 🤔

I was just kidding about you being crazy. I drink iced coffee during the winter too lol I prefer iced coffee over hot coffee.

Do you guys keep the tree up until after new year is over? Or once Christmas is over?

I guess the stalking, or obsessing over someone like in the first season.

-CuriousGeorge

Hello corn-punn! 😅

Yeah, we rarely cook or eat italian. He likes pizza, n im picky with pizza, plus i like pineapple on my pizza but he hates it that much that doesnt even want to do it half n half because he thinks the pineapple juice touch his half side of pizza 😅🤣. N i cant eat pizza that much, so i rarely eat pizza.

Oh wooow! Let me know how it goes if u make some one day.. i hv been wanting to try to make my own too n same, i dont know where to find lady fingers.😅

Ohh u have commented on my fic before? So i have interacted with u off anon before?? Hmmm which tumblr r u?🤨

Have u comment on my post recently?

Hahah its okay. I know u were kidding. But u r right, i can be crazy sometimes.🙂🙃

Well, we'll take it down after we got back fron vacation.

Oh hmm stalking, no i havent. Obsessing over someone, yes i hv. N usually just secretly, i never really show it. I can say lizzie really got me obsessed over her.

How bout u?

Cheerio! (Not the cereal one) 😅

#chellez answers #ask answered #anon answered #curious george anon

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cursedxartist-moved · 2 years

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still thinkin about making a drrr verse even tho the fandom is so scarce now. i have so many thoughts about scarlet meeting celty specifically. she’s half irish, and the dulahan was always one of her favorite figures in folklore she grew up hearing about. it would almost be like coming face to face with a god in a way, maybe a demi god. what the sidhe are considered to be in terms of divinity is a very complex subject that i dont feel like diving into right now BUT. point is scarlet would be like... in total awe. kind of afraid but not like most others who meet her for the first time are, because it is VERY important and taught to the celts to always treat the sidhe with respect. but afraid like... intimidated, because she has come face to face with someone she has heard so much about! well not HER specifically but yk. someone in the... species? but still cordial ofc. it would be interesting to see scarlet compare the folklore she has learned to the real deal, and if given the oportunity, she would honestly geek out a bit bc irish folklore is something she holds very near and dear to her heart. add in her own complex emotions regarding humanity and always being treated like a monster, it would just be really neat :) or possibly an interaction in scarlet’s fae verse then its like that... spiderman pointing meme.

#[ 🌹 | for it is you who is the author of my misery { OOC } ]#wishlist tba #[ i have MANY thoughts on several drrr characters n scarlet's possible interactions w them ]#[ and i may write posts in the future about other characters in this same sort of sense ]#[ but celty doesnt seem to get much love as of late. at least not from what ive seen ]#[ celty rp blogs where are u pspspsps ]#[ if you want a doll-like irish artist who struggles with her own humanity. i have one for u ]#[ i really need to re-watch this series. and start reading the novels bc i have a few now that i just havent touched in years oops VBGFE4R ]

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ruthlesslistener · 3 years

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Mika? :)

wow holy fuck thank you for blasting me back to being 16 holy shit

First impression: Oh he's so pretty?? And he's got slit pupils??? Damn I might get over my hatred of vampires that the twilight phase inspired in me long enough to actually watch this bc he's hot. Also I heard this anime was gay

Impression now: YOU WERE DONE SO DIRTY MY SWEET BOY HOLY FUCKING S H I T

Favorite moment: Hands down when he fights an entire elite corp of vampire hunters to get Yuu back. The bite scene comes close, but I feel like him throwing himself into the fray simply to get Yuu back speaks volumes about his love for him. Plus I fucking love fight scenes skdjfhgb

Idea for a story: Idk, probs just finishing off Follow Your Instincts. I have no juice for that rn tho because that a.) requires me to rewrite the entirety of ons to my qualifications in an au i havent touched in years, b.) for me to confront 16 year old me's writing, and c.) to interact with the toxic nightmare that is the ons fandom

Unpopular opinion: the ons fandom at its peak was full of homophobic nightmare discourse where if you didn't get cussed out by some cishet dude, you'd get straight-up death threats for claiming that one out of two sixteen year olds in a relationship was either a top or a bottom, because nobody in that goddamn hellscape could understand that taking a dick up your ass doesn't make you some blushing feminine innocent shota boy, or shoving your dick up a guy's asshole didn't make you a smirking pseudo-rapist with rippling abs. I don't think there's anything I could say that hasn't already gotten me yelled at or told to kill myself already tbh.

Favorite relationship: Mikayuu, obviously. Though Mika and Shinoa having an odd friendship where he helped her understand that her desire for Yuu was due to compulsory heterosexuality after she very literally chased him down and forced him to take care of himself was also very fun

Favorite headcanon: Mika is trans, extremely underweight for a vampire, purrs, and has retractable claws. Tbh I have a lot of really good headcanons that I like a lot buried somewhere on my blog, it's just that those are the ones that I recall being particularly fond of. I love this guy so fucking much and met a lot of really good people in the fandom, it's kinda really sad that I can't think of ons anymore without also remembering all the homophobia and transphobia I had to deal with

#also if you dared to not ship mikayuu then you'd be treated even worse #which like #i shipped mikayuu but not in the 'right' way so i got a lot of it too lmfaooo #anon #reply #ons #owari no seraph #mikaela hyakuya #[looks directly into the current ons fandom's eyes] try me bitch

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beetleboo · 3 years

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long post. one i’ve been trying to make for a while now. hell, i wrote this like... third week of may. didn’t post it until now because i didn’t know if I wanted to.

but something i want to lay out, been wanting to lay out for months. dont want to talk to anyone about it, just want to put the info out there for it to be seen.

if you re/blog this i will block you. i may put this on the relevant sideblog at some point.

because 2020 was the worst year on record for me for a number of reasons, and it’s torn me down to the lowest point i’ve been in a long time, and this is just. everything that’s gone down. not a callout post, no one gets named, but these are all the events

partially in relation to my fandom sideblog, because that’s where i had community, and where it’s all just. gone. doesnt exist anymore.

i started up a server, ages ago now. somewhere i curated to be a positive and safe space for things, and for a while, it was that.

around the end of 2019, spilling over to the start of 2020 when it picked up, i found, both on my blog and in discord spaces, in particular the server i ran, that people no longer talked to me. no one would hold a conversation with me past a few basic responses, no one replied to anything i shared, no one engaged when i tried to start discussions. so i pulled back from the main server - S1. thought it was just a lull in activity. stayed that way for weeks, months, and I just muted the server. no one ever cared about anything i had to say. was lucky if anything i posted got even a token emoji react

was in another, smaller server - S2. people i talked to damn near every day, even in voice. played games together - that became... no fun simply because everyone else was so much better/further ahead in the game. i was completely useless, so didn’t server a function in game and never really felt like anyone actively wanted me around, but i still participated in chat.

but again, no one ever responded to anything I posted beyond maybe a token react

couple people discussing something one day. I contributed with Theory A, and quite immediately got that shut down. few minutes later, they rephrased exactly what I said and happily nattered away. so whatever I said wasn’t worth it when it came out of my mouth but if they talked about it, it was all well and valid. so again, between that specific experience and no one interacting with me, nor anything I post. server muted. treatment taught me no one cared about my presence there.

gave admin rights to S1, my server, to someone I trusted. two requests only: dont delete channels and let me know if you want to invite anyone (since I kept it private)

RYE (i’m just assigning random three letter names to people to keep this straight) posted public invites several times. never asked me. one of the two things i asked. brought it up with them that it bothered me, just got vague noncomittal responses. more public invites. eventually, after having the server muted for months, i handed over full control and left. that was almost a full year ago. none of the people have talked to me in that entire year, through discord or here or anything.

except RYE who sent me a message after a couple months like ‘wow i havent heard from you in a while hope you’re doing ok’. i wasn’t. after a bit but still the same day, i said as much. that i wasn’t doing well. they never responded. and i don’t mean like, they didn’t respond that day. i mean i literally never heard from them until months later when they sent me a meme and also didn’t respond to me commenting on that meme.

and this is one side of things. all of the above was the first half of the year. this next bit happened about. march2020? I was in another server - S3. another place that was a good space at the time. was in voice chat with two other people. started talking about one thing. MIN very suddenly said something along the lines of ‘i don’t care about this i’ll come back when you’re done’

this is one of the very few things that can trigger me - i’ve had a lot of people talk down to me if I dare look excited about anything. when they came back, i asked if they could try to just. depart conversations more softly. MIN always said ‘if i do anything hurtful to you just tell me! i dont want to do that kind of thing!’

this was clearly a lie as they exploded on me, telling me they always have to walk on eggshells around me, that I ask so many things from them. before what I asked them that day, I can only recall one other thing i asked (which was not to talk about a person who was abusive towards me, and they were like ‘yea sure np’ about that, over a year prior’)

the whole thing turned into basically me having to shut down the fact that i was hurt by what they did, had to ignore that now and i had to fawn and placate them and the only thing i got out of that was that my feelings were irrelevant, only theirs.

(incidentally, I have had two other people turn on me in similar ways, accusing me of doing shifty/bad/terrible things, and not being willing to tell me what they are when I ask, only saying that ‘i should know what i did’ so that’s also now a Fun New Bit Of Trauma.)

and that entire weeklong event lead me straight to a breakdown. literal genuine breakdown i cannot convey how devastating that entire scenario was without going into far too many details.

so between all of these things happening in less than six months, with three different community spaces folding and collapsing and fading away from me, with many of the friends i thought i had just. moving on to other things and dropping me. people i talked to every day just not bothering with me anymore. they all have gone on to other stuff and no one ever went ‘hey beets wanna see what i’m up to’ or ‘wanna do this thing with me’

a handful of instances of me saying ‘yeah i’m dealing with these fears that have been reinforced lately that people aren’t safe to deal with, even thought part of me knows they’re probably irrational it feels like i have evidence to back it up’ and people immediately take it personally like i’m saying they’re not safe. despite. me outright saying. i know logically it should be irrational. but their reactions just reinforce it so it’s just a loop and tells me, again, never to bring up any of my problems with anyone.

so this all just reinforces that there’s something wrong with me. couple years back i spoke to a friend and how i was frustrated that I seemed to end up in bad spaces and they said ‘well you’re the one thing in common so its probably your fault’ and obviously they’re not my friend anymore but that has affected me so deeply. i can’t do anything without overthinking, whenever anything goes wrong i tear apart everything i’ve done and everything i’ve said or thought and i don’t know why things keep going bad. i try so hard but i’m just. not right.

so it all teaches me that there’s no point in reaching out in trying to talk to people because if i say ‘hey this hurt me’ i get ignored at best or torn down, yelled at, scolded. no point in trying to talk to new people because everyone just walks away at some point. not even a natural drift apart, i can handle that. but just very suddenly, they’re gone, off with better people doing better things.

roundabout, ties back to ‘consumption versus community’ - this is why i’ve been struggling so hard with lack of engagement on my sideblog. lucky to get a dozen notes on anything i make, unless it’s something other people can use (like mods) and even THEN it’s rare to see much activity. and that was FINE because i had people to talk to elsewhere, who would ask questions and we could back and forth and i shared my stuff and they shared those and it didnt matter if my posts only got a dozen notes because i had friends to talk to.

now i get (example) seven notes, six of which are likes and one is a reblog with no commentary. when i have something with a ton of notes, still, minimal commentary, no one talks to me. even on a mod with five hundred notes it just feels like i went ‘hey i made something :)’ and everyone picked it up and walked away with it, no one went ‘hey this is cool i want to talk to the person who made it.’

and it just feels like 95% of the time, i’m just overlooked.

and it’s worse than it’s ever been in my entire life, and I wonder, what’s the point of any of this anymore.

why bother to make the posts to share when it all just gets passed by. what’s the point in trying to reach out to new people and make friends when i get lashed out at or left behind? the social is gone out of my social media. i had community, and now it’s gone.

so this has all been going on for months and months and months and hey! suffering. and i dont expect it to get any better, don’t expect this post to fix these issues, but i’ve been trying to say something about all of this for fucking months and i think just, laying it all out is all I can do about it. i’m sure i’ve forgotten some things to touch on but as it is, all these events, all of it happening all together. new traumas, old traumas reawoken, reinforced, i’ve been torn to pieces i don’t know how to function, i can’t remember the last time i felt like even half a real person. taught that the safe, positive spaces that meant so much to me don’t actually exist and they’ll all turn on me and be torn away. nowhere is safe anymore, and trying to make it safe is just going to ruin me again.

people aren’t safe, places aren’t safe, been proven to me time and time again so i just. stay away.

no matter how much i try to fight that, it just doesnt work.

anyway tl;dr beets needs therapy probably

#beetleposts #miserytag

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myownprivatcidaho · 3 years

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ok after some thinking and talking this over with a friend im gonna be real. ive met a handful of awesome people through spn but this fandom is so fucking unhealthy and callous and out of touch my mental health has been really fucking bad for the past few months and i ended up regressing in a lot of areas id been proudly making progress in. some of its been fun but ive kept a lot of criticism to myself cause for one ounce of fun there are ten thousand ounces of horseshit to accompany it. the most ive done about it is just vent in the tags of my own posts and then go on and act like nothings wrong. it was pretty early this year i halfway backed out of the spn side of tumblr and unfollowed a lot of people cause i realized that the majority of people in this fandom and especially blogs with lots of followers arent people i want to surround myself with. anyways after talking it over with a friend whos also backed away from fandom bullshit im just gonna start pulling out completely. theres a good number of mutuals i want to keep following and i might occasionally rb spn content still, but if we're spn mutuals and we havent interacted much if at all im probably gonna break mutual (via softblocking not just unfollowing and keeping my own follower count up lmao). im sure some of yall are decent people offline but im sorry i just cant fucking do this anymore.

#spn for ts

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ghost-maya · 3 years

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thanks for the tag @bringingglory !

1) why did you choose your url?

i used to make the joke that i was “already dead” a lot, hence ghost maya. i dont like making that joke anymore but i do like ghosts!

2) Any side blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them.

i have 12 blank sideblogs where i save urls for possible events i want to run or just to have a username in case i want to use it lol. i have 15 blogs i co-run for various events and zines, i should honestly leave some of them because the projects are definitely over by now whoops. @wlwadora is my she-ra sideblog which i still reblog on every so often, @catuesdayy is my c&t sideblog that ive basically abandoned since i never even finished the show whoops, @ghostmaya-liveblogs & @ask-ghostmaya-liveblogs are my blogs for my liveblog i havent touched for more than a year asdlfkj @ghostmayawrites is my writeblr where i reblog resources and @ghostmayaa is my portfolio blog which i havent updated with my writing for a hot sec. oh and of course @flowfreeofficial my iconic flow free parody blog which i havent touched in years. i think i was using it as a theme tester for a while. i think i have a problem. help

3) How long have you been on Tumblr?

since april 2016

4) Do you have a queue tag?

not on this blog. i cant remember if i ever queued anything but if i did i didnt tag it

5) Why did you start your blog in the first place?

unfortunately because i saw all of the old tumblr posts for hetalia and superwholock on pinterest and wanted to see what all the fuss was about :”D

6) Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

uraraka is one of my all time favourite characters and my wonderful friend @crowsings made this icon which i still use on a lot of different sites!

7) Why did you choose your header?

kagehina hyperfixation go brrrrrr

8) which post of yours has the most notes?

this one

9) How many mutuals do you have?

171 (yes i counted it manually what is the better way to do this help)

10) How many followers do you have?

658

11) How many people do you follow?

1190

12) Have you ever made a shitpost?

see question 8 asdlkjf

13) How often do you use Tumblr?

too often. anyone who follows me knows this asldkjf

14) Have you ever argued/fought with another blog once? Who won?

imagine interacting with people on this website

15) How do you feel about 'you need to compare this' posts

what nows?

16) Do you like tag games?

hell yeah i love talking about myself

17) Do you like ask games?

yes and i feel validated to talk about myself because people are technically asking this time

18) Which one of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

@ankle-beez @/ao3commentoftheday @/blueskittlesart and @/anxietytwist i think! i have no idea how many followers they actually have but i know they all have multiple viral posts at least

19) Do you have a crush on a mutual

@peachie5000 my beloved *smooch*

20) tagging:

lol anyone who managed to get mentioned already and @qutiepai @echosofecco @redyarns @omgchyeahplease @eggscellence @raq-attaq @leeshuh if u want!

#tag game #my post #long post #about me

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sphinti-dumb · 3 years

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on god i'm still alive

「ooc* literally havent touched this blog in ages hi i am alive, i graduated from university and i work in the game industry now after trying to find work for almost a year or so.

I miss my sphinti boy sm but i won't be roleplaying on here anymore as i'm shackled by capitalism and i'm sinking my time in Final Fantasy XIV for the past 2 solid years without escape (my catboy is on chaos add me xoxo).

I'm really happy to see ppl are still active on their blogs here tho despite the manga ending and literally anime adaptations being in shambles but we gucci - very proud of u.

i dont know what to say really, it's been almost 6 years since i started this blog and my entire personality has changed but also it hasn't? I just wish adulting was easier or at least just clearer cuz i definitely misunderstood all instruction manuals on this life thing.

feeling very nostalgic being on here again tho, was a great time and helped me a lot with my english too LMAO. This blog was such a time sink for me while it was still active, big love to everyone i've interacted with on here, it was a blast.」

#「ooc」#legitimately doing a programmers crash course cuz turns out i need to know code for work #i'm a 3D artist actually but u dont find work like that LOL so i started as a tech artist #but tech artists are techyyyyyy #how tf do GPUs do code let me just do pretty flower shaders or some sht i swear to god #my boss is also sus af idk if i should quit and run while i still can or holdout for the money #DUDE I WROTE 5721 POSTS ON THIS BLOG DAAAMN

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fundielicious-simblr · 3 years

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Its been 1 year! 🥺🎉🎊

Y’all I cannot believe it’s been a year since I took the plunge at 2am on my cousins couch and decided to start this blog! In just 1 year I’ve learnt so much and have met people in this community that I consider as snarkers-in-crime, thank all of you for interacting and laughing at my sims with me 😂 I’ve been running to tumblr every evening at 8pm and I feel

I checked the other day and I can’t believe almost 100 people follow me! The panasonic allowed me to be the creative I never thought I could be, and I’d like to thank you all for being interested in my ramblings about my sims.

There’s a post coming sometime tonight, but I got caught up at work and havent put the finishing touches yet. I’m also working on some cc that I’ve been thinking about doing for a while, so that will come out in a few days (depending on how fast I can get to the laptop I use to make CC)

Again, thank you all!

#thank you!!#luv u all

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seijch · 3 years

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ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

#did i have an announcement tag #announcement #also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted #my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well #some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is #its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍‍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd #im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence #consider this my comeback stage

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urmomsstuntdouble · 4 years

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ooh, care to share your thoughts on some characters you like but don’t talk about ?

thanks for the ask! and yes i would care to share some of those thoughts

one character i really like is poland, but i dont like the way theyre treated a lot in canon or in fanon (also i hc them as using they/them pronouns). i think it would be easier for me to interact with poland the character if there was less..weirdness around them being so overtly queer, if that makes sense? i know a popular headcanon for poland is that they’re a trans man, but i actually dont really vibe with that. i mean have your headcanons if you want, you do you, but something about trans man poland makes me a bit uncomfy..like you take a guy who crossdresses and is generally super fem and campy and say ah yes he’s trans..idk its got weird vibes. like he’s a man but he’s not like the other men, who don’t crossdress and don’t talk like valley girls and all that. thats not to say i dont think poland is like cishet or whatever (nobody’s cishet on this blog ;)) theres just something about the fandom portrayal of them that irks me a lil. i also find them a bit of a difficult character because everyone seems to love the angst about like. points in time when poland didnt exist (russian empire days) and they’re portrayed as being so different than they were previously. i also think that poland as a character is one of the more contradictory ones (partially due to my own perception of poles, which is largely predicated on a certain type of immigrant grandmother), because they really are trying to be positive but shits hard when you’re a queer jew and the year is 1600- speaking of them being jewish, i do have a historical reason for that, and it’s the theory that jews had a big role in saving poland during the black plague. basically there were a lot of orthodox jews, and its a thing for orthodox jews to have 2+ sinks in their houses. iirc cleanliness is super important. anyway, there were a lot of orthodox jews in eastern europe at the time, much of which was controlled by the polish-lithuanian commonwealth, and that also happens to be one of the areas least affected by the plague. a ton of christians still died, although it was considerably less than in other areas. anyway i also have that hc because of the warsaw ghetto uprising in 1943, and because poland was one of the first countries hitler invaded. though poland today is v catholic (and it always was very catholic) it has a strong presence and one could say that poland is the cultural center of ashkenazi judaism. of course, during the russian empire and the holocaust, many polish jews were murdered or driven out, so there aren’t quite as many there today, but in the past, poland was something of a haven for jewish people in europe. anyway that was a tangent. but yeah, poland. theyre a very good character but i feel like they get misinterpreted a lot. i think they’re quite similar to italy veneziano in that way, because poland is definitely a very traumatized country- all the partitions, for one, and then the pat 2-300 years would have been very rough for someone who’s jewish. anyway i have more thoughts but ive distracted myself with the judaism thing, so yeah.

i also really like sweden, although i don’t know enough about them (sigh. my nonbinary headcanons. he/they sweden.) to do a real in depth historical analysis of their character. i think an underused piece of comedy about him is that sweden has been neutral in all military conflicts for the past 200 or so years (on paper. they were involved in the congo crisis in the 1960s and have recently stationed more troops in foregin countries). like..sweden used to be a powerhouse in northern europe and now he’s just. trying to be a dad or something idk. anyway my interest in sweden’s character is relatively new, so i would have to go seek out more sweden content, but i think they’re generally super interesting and im a bit sad to see their potential wasted by being like. finland’s husband/sealand’s dad. dont get me wrong i love some good sufin content but there’s more to his character than that he’s in love with finland.

i also think china’s pretty neat just because i love dads, and i also think he’s gorgeous. long haired men are hot, what can i say? i like him being a crotchety old man who’s a bit out of touch with the Youths tm, although i think he would be too powerful if he learned some modern slang and then decided to misuse it around his kids. i also want to look deeper into the fandom interpretation of his relationship with hong kong and taiwan, mostly because i havent before. there’s also this chinese restaurant that no longer exists that has been described as making the food so spicy that whatever went into the wok next would still be hot enough to make you cry. i feel like that’s a very yao thing to do- like come on, it’s not that spicy- meanwhile, he’s had thousands of years to develop an iron spice tolerance and something that’s spicy enough for him might kill a regular human. perhaps thats hyperbolic, perhaps not, idk. anyway i also do think that he’s the most human out of all the nations, just because he’s been alive so long. i might just be incredibly fascinated with immortality, idk. i think its fascinating the toll that would take on a person, mentally speaking. like all the nations are weird but china must be super weird. anyway i feel like my fascination with how old he is might be a lil weird, but also one of my favorite doctor who characters is ashildr, so i digress. anyway this post is getting super long so i think im gonna cut it off here. hope that was snazzy!

#sorry if any of this is historically inaccurate #i have more thoughts but maybe they merit their own posts #anywho #hetalia #hws #hws poland #hws sweden #hws china #holocaust mention #(because polish history)#nb poland #nb sweden #ceros posting

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dojae-huh · 4 years

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This is not an ask by the way, I want to answer about how I started ship Jaedo. I just know NCT back in April this year. I hooked by NCT Dream at first and my bias is Chenle. His friendship with Jisung is adorable and I can't help but smile seeing their transparent interactions. What brings me to 127 was because of "To You" Clip - yes, you can guess that I was fallen deep for Dotae at first. Their eyes simply tell everything. Ty words really touch my heart eventhough I havent know 127 (1)

"To You" was recommended by a friend of mind who is Dotae bias as well. So we discuss a lot of things about Dotae. Starting from the Trainee Years until SF and Paris date. From there I religiously watch 127 Variety Show but to be honest my focus was on Dotae. Although by Aug/Sep I noticed the pining and yearning from TY is very evident meanwhile not so much from DY. Yes, He played with TY, take care of him, send him churros, but the way he sees TY is different with how TY sees him. (2)

I watched Weekly Idol (Dojae Couple) more than 10 times cus i love TY reaction with the couple. I even told my friend I thought dojae was not close with each other (please remember that I just know them in April - I didn't know they were MC and bff previously). But the way they played together is so in sync eventhough not much interaction (yet again). I choose to re-watched the shoes again with Dojae as focus. tbh, I'm having a hard time to differentiate Jae's heart eyes for DY and Woo (3)

Then I searched dojae tag on tumblr and stumbled upon you blog in Sep. I tried to read all entry to Dojae tag and re-watched the shows again just to make sure. And I have to agree with you. I like reading your blog but I can't be 100% sure. Then the "Carpet" thing happen & I am now sure they are "something" because as you said, Do will not do that to other members. Dojae interactions are subtle,but the aura they exudes became more domestic and warmer than dotae. Apologize for the long posts! (4)

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Thank you for your story, anon.

I don’t expect anyone, especially new fans, to believe me right away. The understanding will come with time, with better knowledge of the members, their relationships, and new moments like the carpet one. You especially came at the time, when JaeDo were in their most stealth mode, back in Spring Doyoung was avoiding even accidently touching Jaehyun.

pre-debut TaeDoJae

#Dochi on the line #Ask me away #submission #I'll be your morning star #cogito ergo ship

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