#interviews and fucking analysis videos

[videoworm]

There is something about seeing actors Powdered Rich Hollywood Faces in interviews that can ruin the play pretend of shows so quickly

[cinnasite]

nerd gone viral ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!

꩜ pairing: nerd!armin arlert x female reader

꩜ warnings: explicit content, language

꩜ word count: 3.7k

꩜ synopsis: a harmless campus interview turns your best friend into an overnight internet sensation—and suddenly, every thirsty TikTok comment feels like it’s whispering your secret.

☆ art cred: @/juvianism on instagram :3

You nearly spill your coffee all over your Political Theory textbook when you unlock your phone. Another two hundred comments on that TikTok. You know you shouldn't check—you probably watched it about a million times yesterday alone—but your fingers move before your brain can scream at you to stop.

@/bookslvt01: ok but the way he talks about virginia woolf??? NEED HIM CARNALLY @/colossalthighs: i’d let him annotate my entire body fr @/arlertmeout: he looks like he apologises before choking you

You bite your lip, half-entertained and half-horrified, scrolling through the endless comments under what was supposed to be an innocent campus interview. The video has 2.3 million views now, completely insane for something filmed outside the modest main library—the same one you find yourself in at the moment—on a random Tuesday.

"Ugh, don’t tell me. You're watching it again, aren't you?"

Your head snaps up comically quick, caught red-handed, to find Sasha sliding into the seat across from you at your usual table, eyeing your phone screen with knowing amusement. 

"What? No."

"You are! You have that weird, glazed look in your eyes. The same one you get when Professor Ackerman extends the deadline for our research papers." Sasha unwraps what appears to be her third sandwich of the day. You don't mention how it’s only twelve in the afternoon. "You know you could just talk to him about it, right? He's literally one of your best friends."

"And say what exactly?" you finally close the godforsaken app, trying to ignore how your screen time report is definitely going to be embarrassing this week. "Hey Armin, I've watched your viral video more times than I can remember and I'm having very inappropriate thoughts about your tongue piercing that I absolutely shouldn't be having about my friend?"

Sasha snickers, a piece of lettuce tumbling to the table from her mouth. "Well, when you put it like that... actually, yes. One hundred percent that."

"Sasha, I can't just—" you frown in frustration, inhaling deeply. "It's complicated."

"How is it complicated? You've had a crush on him since freshman year."

"That was different. That was before we became friends. Before I knew him." You lean back in your chair, staring at the ceiling as fond memories overwhelm you. "Back then he was just this cute, nerdy guy in my intro psych class who got excited about statistical analysis and always smelled like that vanilla body wash I love. I used to sit behind him just to watch him get all animated during discussions about cognitive behavioural theory, you know?"

Sasha merely rolls her eyes. "Jesus, and you call me demented. Well, what about now?"

"Now? Now, he's Armin. He's my friend who stays up until 3 A.M. to help me with my assignments, who brings me soup when I'm sick, who texts me the dumbest memes about historical figures," you slump forward, close to pouting. "He's the guy who spent six hours teaching me how to play that MMO he's obsessed with just because I mentioned being bored over winter break. He's..."

"He's the guy you're infatuated with," Sasha supplies helpfully.

"I'm not," you start to protest, then wisely opt to give up instead. "Okay, maybe. But that's exactly the problem. I can't risk blowing up our friendship just because some stupid interview made me realise I want to climb him like a tree."

"A tree with a tongue piercing," Sasha adds with a cheeky grin.

"Fuck’s sake, don't remind me," you let your head rest against the table. "Do you know how many times I've replayed that two-second clip where he licks his lips? It's pathetic."

"It's not pathetic, it's kind of sweet. There's a difference." Sasha takes another bite of her sandwich, her eyes evidently lighting up. "Besides, you don't know that he doesn't feel the same way. Have you seen how he looks at you during our study sessions? Boy's got it bad."

"He looks at me like a friend, Sasha. Because that's what we are."

"Believe me, friends don't look at friends the way he looked at you last Friday when you were explaining your thesis argument. I thought he was going to combust from sexual tension."

Before you can blatantly disagree, you hear an all too familiar voice behind you.

"Sexual tension about what now?"

Your stomach drops directly through the floor. You turn around carefully, and there he is—Armin Arlert, campus's newest digital sensation, standing there with that signature bemused expression he gets when he catches you and Sasha gossiping. His blonde hair is mussed like he's been running his hands through it, and he's wearing that adorable blue sweater that brings out his eyes deliciously.

"Oh, um..." You scramble for an explanation, panicking on the inside. "We were just talking about... about..."

"About how Professor Ackerman's lectures are basically academic foreplay," Sasha jumps in smoothly. "All that tension and buildup with no satisfying conclusion. I mean, hello?"

Armin laughs, the sound warm and comforting. "That's fascinatingly accurate, I’ll admit." He shifts his weight, and you only then notice he's carrying his laptop bag and what seems to be a bag of takeout. "Mind if I join you? I brought Thai food and figured you might be hungry since you've been here since—," he checks his phone, "—9 A.M., according to the text you sent complaining about how it’s criminal that the library opens so early on weekends."

Your heart does a little flip at his consideration. "You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to." He slides into the chair next to you, close enough that you can smell his cologne—a rich blend of velvety caramel and toasted cinnamon that positively makes you want to lick him all over. 

Stop. None of that, you horny bastard.

"Besides, I figured you might want to hear about the latest developments in my accidental internet fame."

Sasha perks up at once. "Hell, yeah. Have you been recognised on campus yet?"

"Five times yesterday," Armin appears to lament, pulling containers out of the bag. "Including once in the bathroom, which was... awkward, to say the least." He hands you your usual order without asking what you want. "But the weirdest part is definitely the DMs."

"DMs?" you pipe up, failing to ignore how domestic this feels what with him knowing exactly what you like. Typical, precious Armin.

"You have no idea," he opens his laptop and turns it toward you two with a nervous twitch. "I've gotten marriage proposals, offers to 'show me a good time,' and at least a hundred messages asking about my tongue piercing specifically."

Your face burns as you push away the thought that you've been mentally composing similar messages. "That's... wow."

"The worst part is, most of them are asking if I'd be interested in demonstrating its uses." He fidgets with his glasses, coming across as embarrassed but also endearing. "I had no idea that thing would cause such a reaction."

"Well, it is pretty noticeable," Sasha remarks with a meaningful peek at you. "Very... attention-grabbing."

"I guess." Armin glances at you pointedly. "What do you think? You've seen the video, right?"

The question is innocent enough, but something in his tone makes you look at him more carefully. There's an out-of-the-ordinary implication that you can't quite put your finger on. "Uh... yeah, I've seen it," you manage to croak out. Terrific. Could you get any stiffer?

"And?"

"And what?"

"What did you think?"

You stare at him blankly, trying to figure out if this is a normal friend question or if you’re incorrectly perceiving the foreign edge of curiosity behind it. "I thought... I mean, your book recommendations were really good. Very passionate."

"Passionate," he repeats, the fleeting flash of understanding across his face confirming your earlier weariness. "That's interesting."

Sasha's phone cuts through the uneasiness with its incessant buzzing, and she scans it with obviously fake surprise. "Oh no, would you look at that. I have to go... meet... someone... about... a... very real thing... I have." She begins gathering her stuff with awfully suspicious speed. "You two have fun talking about books. And passion. And tongue piercings."

"Huh? Wait. Sasha—" you squeak out, but she's already dashing out of the private study room you had booked for the both of you until late afternoon (traitor). Which leaves you alone with Armin, who's scrutinising you with an expression you can't quite read.

"Alright," he speaks after a moment, closing his laptop and leaning back in his chair. "Want to tell me what you actually thought about the video?"

"I already told you."

"No, you gave me the safe answer." He tilts his head slightly, studying you with purpose. "Come on, we've been friends for two years. I know when you're holding back."

You hastily shove some noodles in your mouth, avoiding his gaze. "I'm not holding back."

"Really? Because Sasha seemed to think you had some important opinions about it."

You make a mental note to start drafting your plan for the girl’s well-deserved comeuppance. "Sasha talks too much."

"She does," Armin agrees. "But she's usually right about things. Especially when it comes to you."

The rarely there confidence in his tone makes you look up and, when you meet his gaze, the intensity catches you off guard. "What do you want me to say?"

"Did you know," he continues conversationally, "that TikTok shows you analytics about who's viewed your videos?"

Almost instantly, your heart stops. "What?"

"Mhm. Very detailed analytics. Including multiple views from the same account." His lips quirk up in a small smile. "Want to guess how many times your account shows up in my viewer list?"

You feel heat creeping up your neck. "I don't know what you're talking about." You briefly consider denying reality, blaming a technical issue, or claiming a glitch in the matrix—but none of it sticks.

"Seventy-seven times," he announces, the metaphorical checkmate hitting you straight in the chest. "As of this morning."

Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god. He knows. "I can explain—"

"Can you?" He angles himself forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Because I've been trying to figure out why my very good friend has watched a boring thirty-second video of me talking about books seventy-seven times."

You want to run away, mouth opening and closing like a fish. "I... the algorithm is weird sometimes?"

Armin chuckles, low and warm, absent of any malice. "Try again."

"I was checking to see if the view count was going up?"

"Nope."

You're quiet for a long moment, trying to figure out how to get out of this without completely humiliating yourself. You don't suppose it's too late to jump out of a window? Ultimately, you sigh in defeat. "Okay, fine. Maybe I watched it a few times."

"A few?"

You narrow your eyes, crossing your arms in defiance at the unsolicited endless interrogation. "More than a few."

"How many more?"

You want to strangle him, and not in the sexy way. "You’re being annoying."

"Come on." His voice has dropped slightly lower, and there's something almost akin to teasing in it. "I told you about the marriage proposals. Fair's fair."

You mutter a profanity under your breath, groaning. "Fine. I watched it a lot. Happy?"

"No. We’re getting there, though. Why?"

"Why what?"

Armin’s glee sharpens into something ravenous, a flicker of desperation lurking beneath his carefree demeanour—like he’s itching for you to say exactly what he needs. "Why did you watch it seventy-seven times?"

Your lungs feel too tight, too exposed. "Because..."

"Because?"

"Because you looked really good, okay?" The words come out in a rush. "Because watching you talk about literally anything is incredibly attractive, and because that frustrating part where your tongue piercing shows has been tormenting me ever since the video came out."

The silence that follows is eerily deafening. Armin simply stares at you, and you wish the ground would swallow you whole.

"Shit," you grumble, burying your face in your hands. "I'm sorry. That was completely out of line. I know we're friends and I shouldn't have—"

"Hey. Look at me."

The way he asks convinces you to peep through your fingers, reluctant but unable to look away. His expression is attentive and focused—definitely not one of disgust.

"You think I'm attractive?" he questions softly.

"I... yes?"

He blinks, his usual calm shattered by the raw vulnerability in your voice. His fingers tremble, revealing the fierce hope inside that there’s a potential chance that someone sees him as more than the sum of his quirks.  "Even though I'm just a loser who gets excited about obscure paranormal documentaries and spends too much time playing video games?"

"Especially because of that," you admit, having never been more sure of yourself.

His answering smile is slow and devastating. "Good to know."

"Good to know?"

He hums, reaching across the table, and gently pulls your hands away from your face. "I've been wondering if you'd ever see me as more than just your friend who helps you with your homework."

Your brain, without a doubt, malfunctions. "What?"

"Did you really think I started bringing you food and staying up late just because I'm a good friend?"

The words disarm you. You’re trapped between incredulity and the dawning comprehension of what he might be suggesting. "I…"

"And did you think I learned how to play your favourite songs on guitar just because I had time to spare?"

"Y-you said you wanted to practice—"

"And I presume you thought I got this piercing because I was feeling rebellious?"

That stops you short, confusion apparent in the furrow of your brows. "You didn't?"

Armin's grin turns almost predatory. "I got it because I overheard you and Sasha talking about how cool you find them. This was back in October, after you'd been dating that guy with the lip ring."

You feel like a kettle left on the stove too long. "You... what?"

"You said, and I quote, 'There's something about tongue piercings that's beyond exciting.’ Something along the lines of how the person has to be bold enough to get it, but there's the simultaneous insinuation of what they can do with it."

"I’m going to kill myself," you gape at him in horror. "You heard all of that?"

"I was sitting right behind you in the campus coffee shop. You weren’t exactly shy about it." He shifts closer, and you can spot the hint of silver when he speaks, "I made an appointment that very afternoon."

"You got a tongue piercing because of something I said about another guy?"

"I got a tongue piercing because I wanted to be the guy you were talking about."

The confession hangs in the air between you, charged and electric. You stare at him, trying to process this complete change in everything you thought you knew about your friendship. 

"I've been trying to get your attention for months. I was starting to think I'd have to do something drastic."

In spite of being made to face terrifying revelation after revelation, you manage to stutter out a breathless laugh. "More drastic than getting a tongue piercing for me?" 

"I was considering learning to play your favourite video game."

You snort despite yourself. "You hate that game."

He shrugs casually, as if the lengths to which he would go for you knew no bounds. "I know. That's how desperate I was getting."

The atmosphere between you feels tense now, full of possibility and two years of unspoken tension. Armin traces your knuckles and the simple touch sends heat shooting up your arm.

"So," you say, trying to stay as composed as you possibly can. "What happens now?"

"Now," he starts, standing up, "you tell me what exactly you were thinking about during those seventy-seven views."

He's close enough that you have to tilt your head back to look at him, and the unwavering want in the blue of his eyes makes your breath catch. "I was thinking..." you trail off, feeling timid with his attention on you.

"You can do it. Use your words for me?" his voice has gotten rougher, huskier, and it sends delightful shivers down your spine.

"I was thinking about what it would feel like."

"What would feel like?"

"Your piercing. When you..." You gesture vaguely, cheeks burning. Armin's hand comes up to cup your face, thumb brushing across your bottom lip. "When I what?"

"When you kiss me," you whisper.

"Just kissing?" The question is loaded with underlying intentions, and you shake your head slowly.

"Tell me what else you were thinking about."

"Armin..."

"Please." The plea is hushed but insistent. "I want to know what's been going through your head."

You swallow, your throat suddenly dry as you let go of the entirety of your self-restraint. "I was thinking about what it would feel like on my body. What it would feel like when you use your mouth on me."

His pupils immediately dilate at your words. "Fuck."

"Is that... is that okay?"

Instead of verbally affirming, he leans down and kisses you. It's gentle at first, tentative, but when you react by fisting your hands in his sweater and pulling him closer, he deepens it. The first brush of his tongue against yours has you gasping, and when you feel the metal of his piercing, it sends intoxicating pleasure shooting through you.

You break apart, breathing heavily, and Armin rests his forehead against yours.

"How was that?" he asks earnestly, voice raspy.

"Good," you breathe. "Really good."

His smile is full of care but there's primal desire behind it. "And the piercing?"

"Want more of it."

He brushes his thumb across your lip again. Truth be told, it’s plain torture. "You know, we're in public right now."

Every wall you built is crumbling under the weight of him, and all you can do is let it. "I know."

"Anyone could walk by and see us."

"I know."

"And you don't care?"

You drag your hand up his thigh, stopping just shy of where he clearly wants it, "Not even a little bit."

He kisses you again, harder this time, and you can't help the soft moan that escapes when his tongue meets yours in another dance of display. The sound seems to flip a switch in him, because his hands are tangling in your hair and he's pressing you back against your chair.

"God, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," he murmurs against your lips.

"Tell me ‘Min."

"Since freshman year. Since that first day in psych class when you argued with Professor Smith about the ethics of behavioural modification."

You draw away just barely, shaking under the intimacy of his declaration. "That long?"

"That long." He doesn’t think twice before trailing his teeth along your jaw, and when the metal of his piercing digs into your flushed skin, you whimper needily. 

"You were so assertive, so brilliant. I was completely and utterly gone."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you were dating that business major asshole, and then when you broke up, we became friends,” he hesitantly halts his ministrations to flutter his eyelashes at you, “I-I didn't want to ruin it." 

Good heavens, you didn’t stand a chance from the beginning.

"But then you kept looking at me like... like you wanted me too, and I started hoping..."

"I did want you. I do want you." The admission comes out whinier than intended, but you can’t bring yourself to be bothered at this point. "So much."

His hands tighten in your hair. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You’re unaware of how many minutes pass as you lose yourself in the sensation of his mouth on yours, and the way he tastes like mint and something uniquely him. You dig your nails lightly into his sides, claiming him in an act of fervent possession. His breaths mingle with yours and the world outside your tangled bodies fades until there’s nothing but lust burning between you. By the end of it, your chests rise and fall in tandem.

"We should probably get out of here," he mumbles, peeking around the library.

Craving Armin has left you dazed, vision glassy as you attempt to make sense of your surroundings. "Right. Um, your place or mine?"

He pecks your nose, full of affection, tenderly guiding you. "Mine. My roommate's gone for the weekend."

You start gathering your things with shaky hands, hyperaware of the way Armin is observing you. When you bend over to pick up your bag, you hear his sharp intake of breath.

"Something wrong?" you ask innocently.

"N-nothing," he mutters, skittishly pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

The walk to his dorm feels like it takes forever, full of stolen glances and the kind of anticipation that makes your skin feel too tight. When you reach his room, he fumbles with his keys for a moment—so fucking cute—before getting the door open.

You haven’t had a lot of time this semester to crash at his dorm—neat and organised, with anime posters on the walls and stacks of books and manga everywhere. But you barely have time to take it in before he's pressing you against the closed door, urgency lacing his actions.

This time, there's nothing apprehensive about it. His hands are everywhere—your waist, your back, squeezing your ass—and when you arch against him, he makes a low sound of approval.

"You taste so good," he shudders against you. "Everything I’ve imagined and so much more."

"You imagined this?"

"Every night for two years." His mouth moves to your neck, nibbling along your throat. "What you'd look like, what you'd sound like when I made you come."

The words send heat pooling low in your belly, prompting you to press your thighs together instinctively. "Fuck, don’t say shit like that.”

"Why not? I’ve been longing for you. All of you," he whispers, pulling back to look at you with dark, lidded eyes. "You’re not getting away until I’ve had my fill."

It would be an understatement to say that you hadn’t foreseen this when you woke up today. That you'd be spending hours with your legs over Armin's shoulders, forgetting your own name; the compassionate, stammering genius the internet drooled over. Too bad he’s not on the market. It would be a treat if his fans could see him like this—flushed and breathless, fingers gripping your hips like he’d die without you. Armin Arlert, golden boy of TikTok, practically begging to let him ruin you.

You grow dizzy at the promise in his voice. "Please."

He lets his hand trail lower, indecently tranquil, and just as you think he’ll do something reckless—he pauses, smirking wickedly.

"Want to find out what this piercing really feels like when I eat you out?"

[sillymommy6969]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝕰YES ON THEM PT. 2

Manon Bannerman x fem!reader

summary: eyekons gathered evidence of bannern/n from their socials (tweets, instagram posts, tt reposts, etc.)

warnings: fluff, fake everything, over analysis, kinda a blurb

prev. next.

📌 BANNERN/N STRUGGLING TO KEEP SECRET; a thread

i. Y/N’s Instagram posts 2022 (dream academy)-2024

Liked by daniela_avanzini, meretmanon & 126,771 others

ynln nyc opening show was a dream come true <3

18th April, 2024

lararajj OMG MOMMY

meganskiendiel just one chance please?

user01 Megan ily but please get in line

user02 MEGAN YOU’RE SO REAL FOR THIS

y0on_cha3 Pretty Y/N :D

meretmanon you’re my dream come true ;)

user03 manon ain’t slick

user04 Yes support your girl ma’am

user05 Manon only opening this app to comment on

Y/N’s post is a mood

user06 @user05 girlie makes an exception

Liked by lararajj, y0on_cha3 & 11,662 others

ynln missing my tyla (iykyk), but thankful for the break

3rd December, 2022

lararajj Bring me some of your mom's cooking

emilykelavos phone me when you're back pretty

user01 omg predebut emy/n crumbs

user02 Hi Emily!!

sophia_laforteza omg send me that photo of everyone

meretmanon tyla misses you too baby

user03 THEIR PR TEAM SWEATING

user04 guys who's stalking in 2024 and just finding this

user05 I'm not fucking normal about this

user06 WHERE ARE MY BANNERN/N TRUTHERS

< NOW DELETED POST BELOW >

Liked by sophia_laforteza, meretmanon & 16,043 others

ynln grateful for this valentine's day @meretmanon

14th Janurary, 2023

meganskiendiel Didn't need this on my tl...

lararajj puked seeing this <3

ynln haters hate me cuz they aint me

lararajj if that helps you sleep at night

adelajergova At least ya'll kept it out the rooms!

user01 I just know they're sick of them

user02 ADELA YOURE OUR STRONGEST SOLDIER

meretmanon you’re my dream come true ;)

user03 You guys look great together!

user04 I always knew they were close on DA

user05 WHERE ARE THEIR MEDIA MANAGEMENT

user06 This was pre-debut so they didn’t have it yet

ii. Manon’s tiktok reposts

iii. The Katz/DA talking about Bannern/n in interviews

When Daniela and Megan were doing their section of a tiktok video for Billboard about how well they knew their members, they were asked “which of the girls’ pulls the hardest”.

“I feel like it’s a tie between Lara and Y/N realistically,” Daniela glanced over at Megan for support.

The Chinese-American hummed in agreement, “Yeah. Lara has this whole girl crush aesthetic goin’ for her and it’s definitely a big hit with a lot of fans. Y/N has a cleaner, old money vibe, so she pulls more with like people we used to meet. Like remember, back in dream academy?”

Daniela laughed, “Yeah, it was so hard tryna eat with her.”

“People would just come and ask her for her number, but she was tak—!” Megan slapped a hand over her mouth, earning a wide-eyed hiss from Daniela. The redhead laughed nervously, shaking her head to dismiss what she almost said. “She just wasn’t interested, so she’d turn down so many people.”

“So yeah, definitely Lara or Y/N pulls the hardest.”

In another interview of Sophia and Manon talking about how they balance their work and life, the Filipina shared ways she kicks back on days off to make sure she put self care first.

“Yeah, I love cooking for the girls, it relaxes me.”

Manon raised her mic, “I think we also just all go out together and hang out like normal friends, y’know. We go out to dinner, go to the movies and go shopping when we can.”

“Yeah, I remember when we first debuted, you and Y/N would go out together a lot.” Sophia mentioned without realizing.

Manon eyed the camera, nodding her head.

“Yeah, retail therapy solves everything,” Manon joked, “I do enjoy a good trip to the mall and like a long night out with all of us when we’re free. Super therapeutic.”

On Emily’s instagram live, questions about Manon and Y/N’s relationship during the survival show were asked.

“Wow, you guys are going straight to the point, huh?” she chuckled, “Y/N and I were pretty close on dream academy, but her and Manon were 100% closer. The management liked pairing them together a lot on the show cuz they looked really good together onstage, but they spent so much—and I mean, so much—time together off set.”

user01 is y/n currently dating anybody?

user02 when did you last talk to y/n?

“Y/N and I still talk a lot, but she’s really busy. She called me a couple days ago, but yeah, I really miss her.” Emily pouted, “I am not sure about her personal life, but that’s not a secret I’m in a position to share.”

The blonde’s face visibly irked, her expression changing when she spotted a comment about Y/N’s old instagram posts.

“I just know Y/N has a good thing going in her life right now. She really loves what she does and she loves all the support you guys show them.” Emily nodded, “And honestly, at the end of the day, the real fans will support Y/N through whatever.”

VIEW MORE OF THIS THREAD?

[mythalism]

re: my last post but being a little nicer and less pissed off this time. i am really just a vibes girl at heart like truly when i take the myers-briggs i am 99% intuition and 1% thinking and my intuition is always right but thats a post for another time. and i obviously value objectivity and i have done a lot of very logical, grounded analysis of v*ilguard placed completely within the text but i also believe that some things are. just vibes.

sometimes, you can FEEL when something is off. when something is made out of love and when something is made out of... whatever else. with v*ilguard, what comes to mind is fear, anxiety, insecurity, scorn, derision, and hilariously, pride. i feel the fear and anxiety of backlash and being canceled on twitter in the sanitization of the lore and the lack of flaws in its major characters. i feel the insecurity in the way they marketed the game as something it was not and tried to hide the lack of worldstates and wiped out the south of thedas as if the franchise's established history was something to be ashamed of (i havent forgotten the interview where they made fun of zevran and didnt know who he was). i feel scorn in the way lore that people spent 10 years analyzing is retconned, ignored and simplified, or how characters like varric become cheap plot devices and grabs for nostalgia rather than the fully fledged characters they used to be. i feel derision in the ridiculous fucking dialogue that uses the vocabulary of a 4th grader and sounds like a bad middle-grade novel. i feel the pride in ahistoricism of the narrative, in its condescending overall theme that feels intended to punish players who drew the "wrong" conclusions from their past writing, or the way they thought they could divorce a game so completely from its beloved roots as if the past three games that got them their place in the industry was a gangrenous, rotting limb they could not wait to cut off. the only time i ever feel any love from that game is in a couple of solas's better moments when it feels like trick's love for him is banging on the walls and screaming from the basement and you can only hear the slightest echo from under the floorboards.

when i play inquisition and origins, in contrast, i feel how much the devs loved that world, those characters (most of them... and with viv and sera and you can FEEL how much the lack of love from their writers stands out in comparison to the others. also anders.) and perhaps most importantly to the whole experience, ME!!!!! the depth and complexity of the lore and characters feels like a bridge that creates a relationship between the developers and the player borne out of our shared love for the world of thedas. they littered clues and mysteries and puzzles around that game because they knew we'd be smart enough to figure them out and would have so much fun doing it. they gave us morally complex characters because they trusted us to evaluate and draw our own conclusions about them. they allowed us to make complicated and sometimes fucked up decisions because they had faith in their audience to act like adults playing a fucking video game. for adults. da2 is being left out of this because there is definitely some hatred in that game but they managed to spin it to be juicy and interesting so it gets a pass and for the most part you can tell the characters at least were loved and they had faith in the audience to handle a balls to the wall banger tragic rollercoaster of a story. v*ilguard is like if someone made cocomelon knockoff youtube videos for babies except they fucking hated babies and were just using these videos to put on their resume for their next job. and maybe there were a few people there who DO love babies and want this to be something more than cocomelon, but they're the minority, and you can feel how the end product is not just making fun of the audience but of them too.

the whole game feels like an insult to the players and half of its own developers, and is trying to make fun of you for being there and playing the game in the first place. "here is your nerdy gay fantasy RPG slop that you whined about for 10 years, fucking shut up already and leave us alone." and we literally know this is true. gaider has tweeted about this several times now, a new thread a few days ago about how much of bi*ware at large HATED dragon age. the jason schrier article from 2019 uses the term "black sheep". its why half of the developers fucking left over the past 10 years and the only people left to make this game were people WHO THINK YOU ARE A LOSER AND WANTED TO MOVE ON TO MASS EFFECT!!!!!! and even the people who didnt want to move on to mass effect think you're stupid and interpreted the last game wrong and need to be taught a lesson. god no fucking wonder i never want to play this game again. i said i was going to be nicer and less pissed off at the beginning but you can see how riled up i got just writing this. rancid vibes.

[dollypopup]

all the people up in arms going 'he looks so miserable!' and 'he doesn't look loved up at all!' like. . .hm, could it be possible that it's because. . .attending fashion events. . .is a job? what's with the 'give us a smile, sweetheart!' weirdness from these 'fans'? didn't we decide ages ago we HATE that? if I was at work and people were ripping me to pieces because I'm not smiling, I'd be pissed off. the man has been given grief from a fandom that undoubtedly DOES make him miserable for months on months and shows up to an event with a girlfriend y'all have known about for a YEAR and hated on for almost exactly that amount of time and you're surprised he's. . .what? not grinning ear to ear? the man takes a lot of photos where he's doing a blue steel fashion face, what's the hangup? y'all are just digging for justification for your own negativity.

and as far as Antonia goes, it's like every time it's a surprise. the people saying 'oh it's lame he only showed up with her after NICOLA paved the way!' . . .paved the way of what? Luke was photographed with Antonia in June of last year? Why are y'all always shocked pikachu face about her? Nic reiterating they're friends (as they both said during the tour repeatedly) in a pre-taped interview doesn't mean he then was like 'oh, okay! now i can be with my gf!' he's BEEN with her. he was papped with her a year ago, he's taken her on vacations, dates, and other events. what do y'all MEAN this is the 'hard launch'? we've all known?

stop convincing yourselves into delusions and just face the facts. the reality is- I DO think it's okay to say 'I'm a fan of Nic and Luke's dynamic and their public personas so I ship them' but that also means taking the responsibility of 'endgame' or 'canon' (gross, these are real people, not characters) off their shoulders and out of your expectations. they have partners. ship their personas all you want, live in the fantasy, sometimes it's fun, but stop spiraling and spinning new webs of lies to live in claiming it's reality. and then blaming these strangers for not living up to your mental gymnastic fanfictions. it's unhealthy.

do I think he looks miserable? no. In some pics, I think he looks like someone protective of his partner who has been harassed, and wary, since his previous partner has ALSO been harassed. But overall I think he looks hot as hell. nothing is screaming that he's upset. he's got some smirky smirk pics and moments, she's pictured smiling in the video. what's the big deal? if you feel dumb, it's because YOU made yourself fall for lies.

and a big genuine SHAME ON YOU to all the big Lukola blogs who continue spouting garbage encouraging vulnerable people to believe false narrative. fuck you to the tarot blogs, fuck you to the people doing 'morsels' or 'crumbs' analysis, and a huge hearty fuck you to the people pushing the awful lie of Nicola being pregnant by hyperanalyzing her body. y'all need to eat some crow and admit you were wrong and apologize to your audiences, because fuck that noise.

anywhoozle, I'll be over here lapping up all these new pics because my man looks GOOOOODT and that's more than enough for me

[olderthannetfic]

So, you mentioned low standards of research in podcasts. I don't listen to podcasts or watch a lot of videos about fandom analysis, but I have seen error corrections happening in the wild for what I have listened to, so I can only imagine how annoying it is when you know your shit.

Do you have any resources that come to mind as things everyone who likes fandom should be comfortable with, or specific essays on uniquely important fandoms (such as Sherlock Holmes or Star Trek) that everyone should read? Obviously the OTW resources are up there; what else?

Aside from resources, do you think there are any skills that are especially vital for getting to the bottom of fandom trends? Interview skills are probably pretty high up there.

Any pitfalls you see a lot of young fans falling into?

(I do a lot of fandom history research. It is the thing that gives me joy in fandom; other people like shipping or AUs, I like my little mini-anthropology sandbox and watching how ideas spread. I'm not necessarily good at it, but it's fun!)

--

Well... it's the usual things.

For example, a lot of fans claim to love fandom stats, but the ones that get passed around come from like three people. The people doing those stats, including me, don't usually have a statistics background, which doesn't automatically make them bad, but it really seems like people are just trusting anything with a pie chart.

We've recently seen people discover that those year-end AO3 ship stats have a seriously weird methodology. They don't show the thing their fans are actually trying to find out. People were pissed. But most of the time, they don't even bother asking what the methodology is or trying to do anything themselves.

There's far too much sitting back and waiting for some BNF to spoon feed one publicly-available information.

--

The big failings aren't usually the math itself but, of course, not knowing what question to ask, so it pertains to history research, not just stats.

You'll see a lot of stuff on shipping that looks at AO3 because AO3 shipping numbers are easy to pull... But AO3 shipping numbers don't just happen to be easy to pull: that is both an effect and a cause that is directly related to AO3's content. Someone interested in meta shouldn't be asking "What do AO3's numbers show?" as their first question. They should be asking "Why is this metadata available or not available and what does that mean on a sociological level?"

--

Thing two is the eternal I Have Apparently Never Heard of Anime problem. A fuckton of people theorizing about fandom trends seem to know fucking nothing about whole massive sectors of fandom or treat them as afterthoughts. This is okay if you're writing a history of Media Fandom. It is criminally stupid if you're trying to talk about what makes a piece of media have fic when another doesn't, what kinds of websites make fandoms take off, etc. Those kinds of broad questions need a broad understanding of what's out there.

It's not anime-specific, and I'm not asking for a high degree of knowledge.

I have routinely had people tell me that best friend ships and mystery/crime as a genre aren't popular, and that's why AO3 has this or that pattern... Meanwhile, buddy cops are the bedrock of oldschool slash fandom and make up basically all of the longest-running Western m/m fandoms that aren't Star Trek. CSI slop tends to have legions of future canon het shippers, and they make plenty of fanworks. It's just that some of this is more visible on FFN or older places, not AO3.

I'm always seeing things like someone speculating about how this and that anime fandom thing or bit of mid-00s FFN community drama led to this other thing on AO3, not realizing that AO3 came out of LJ Western fandom slash culture. To them, FFN is so central that it must be the main reference point, not the bajillion and one archives AO3 founders ran or Usenet or mailing lists or LJ.

I once saw someone asking on twitter about where a prominent Ranma fic might have been posted in the mid-90s. People claiming "My professor is an authority!" came out of the woodwork in droves to blither about K/S zines and then LJ. Not only was this entirely wrong, but the right answer was blindingly obvious if you knew enough to interpret the google results. I can only assume that the person tweeting had never heard of Usenet and didn't recognize the acronym for the big anime fanfic group that literally everything like this was first posted to.

I'm talking people insisting that fandom only goes for white characters when it's very obvious that fandom goes for majority leads who are not othered. All the bawwing in the world about "People assume anime characters are white" won't get rid of The Untamed or Kpop thirsters or whatever.

I'm talking sweeping pronouncements about gender and fanfic writers where the person hasn't even heard of FIMFiction or SpaceBattles or Dark Lord Potter cheesefests.

I've been in fandom for a long time, but I wasn't in all these parts, and I wasn't around for 80s zines. You don't need deep knowledge until you pick a research topic. But it's shocking how little shallow, broad knowledge a lot of people have when they're writing their Theory Of All Of Fandom History.

--

People are stupid as shit about survivorship bias, and fandom history is no exception. They're also dumb in the opposite direction, assuming that the thing they like now has always existed in this exact form.

For example, someone got mad at Fanlore for supposedly not documenting the history of f/f zines. Others have searched and searched for the zines of their old show they got into last year and are bewildered to not find any. The reality is that Fanlore editors are attempting to document every Media Fandom zine and have combed through old adzines looking for any mention of anything. Because of the methods of distribution—because it was expensive—small fandoms often had no zines at all.

Femslash fandom doesn't seem to have gotten enough critical mass to do much until Xena. The internet has really democratized things, but even the early internet was still somewhat in that old mindset where only certain popular things have a fandom. I think Yuletide itself, which started in 2003, really helped spread the idea of rare-but-existing fandoms being a thing. FFN and perhaps some other multifandom archives like Media Miner played a huge role.

Nowadays, we think of fic as just how you respond to media, any media, even if there are only two fics for that one car commercial, but that isn't how people saw things in every era—or at least it's not how fandom infrastructure worked. A lot of the time, the big hosting spots were single-fandom archives, often with restrictive content rules. Finding somewhere to post a m/m/f OT3 fic used to be hard. Never mind early zines when photocopiers didn't even exist yet and you had to sell out your print run of 500 to make a go of it.

All good research starts with a lot of preliminary investigation to figure out what you're even trying to look for.

Actually bothering to look for fans talking about their own history or casually chatting with your interview subjects before the formal interview will put a person miles ahead of many of the cringeworthy fandom ~papers~ I've seen.

The biggest mistake people make is going "Okay, these numbers aren't perfect, but some numbers are better than no numbers".

Bullshit.

As soon as there's a pie chart of the false numbers, everyone's brain turns off and they never look at the chart subtitle, never mind the research notes.

Bad numbers are often worse than no numbers.

Look at the logic behind the methodology first. Look at the social context. Basic understanding of human nature and familiarizing oneself with the shape and hangout locations of a community will get you most of the way there before you sit down for a specific interview or try to collect any specific numbers.

--

None of this is a fandom thing. Research is research. It's just that most people think "research" means watching a tiktok that the algorithm likes and were never taught how to evaluate a source for reliability.

Evaluating sources is a skill. I had explicit lessons on it in school. Lots of people don't, and that sucks.

Honestly, watching the more thoughtful debunking content on non-fandom topics, like Miniminuteman's stuff on pseudo-archaeology or Dan Olson's... everything, is a good window into critical thinking, and that's most of what's missing from bad fandom history.

--

But more than any of that, more is more. Not the crap stats, but the narrower, more personal accounts, the interviews. The more fans who investigate their little corner that isn't the same old AO3 site-wide "Why is there so much m/m?" ship stats or the same canned "Everything comes from K/S" history, the better.

What I object to is not amateur efforts but efforts that pull from the same small pool of data or that just reblog a tiny handful of supposed authorities.

--

If people are going to read just one thing... hmm... go try to look up a history of rec.arts.anime.creative, not because I think it's the most important fandom history out there but because it's at the nexus of things a lot of current fandom history work miss.

[bisnes-socks]

i added my thoughts to the takavoltti lyrical analysis here but today i want to talk about why i think takavoltti is one of käärijä's most finnish songs ever.

this got a bit long, so just so you know what to expect going in: what i mean by most finnish is that there are references and tone of voice that are very specific to finland, there is complex use of the finnish language AND there are melodic/musical choices in the song that sound very finnish to me.

okay, here goes.

the dialogue that opens the song is already a sort of key moment to this finnishness of it all. when he says "emmä tiedä, kolisee jos kolisee, mut mun on pakko sit koittaa vetää tosi matalalla" he is doing a bit of a voice but more than that, he is talking in a way that is not quite his. his inflection, the rhythm, those are not natural to him or his dialect. you can hear it particularly when he says "koittaa vetää tosi matalalla". i don't know if it's at all easy to hear if you're not finnish, but it's not.. a serious voice or tone. the other two voices, one of them is modified to be high and the other talks like a sports announcer. the whole scene is quite comedic and it's a very specific genre of comedy that is very finnish indeed. it's also the type of thing he has been doing since always. (EDIT: OKEI MORE CONTEXT IN A REBLOG HERE)

funnily enough, you guys know köpi kallio now, the therapist in skit and autiomaa video? yeah köpi and his long time partner in crime viki are good examples of this type of humour i would say. they have their own podcast/show called viki ja köpi show but before that they were radio hosts and have been working together for ten years. the character voices and the whole vibe of the scene in the beginning of the song is very viki ja köpi to me, very ylex type comedy (yes ylex the radio station who did the ruisrock interview who still isn't back from the war).

and the small comedy bits stay in there through out the song, and they continue to have the same delivery instantly recognisable as comedic.

and that isn't to say the subject matter can't be serious. i think, again, this is something that feels inherently finnish to me. other finnish people feel free to chime in because this is hard to explain, but our culture is one where coping through making light of things is quite normal. and our sense of humour tends to be on the darker side, at least if you compare it to the american style of comedy that has taken over globally. so to make a song about there being too many demands on you and how you have a problem with setting boundaries and agreeing to insane shit, but to do it by interjecting the song with jokes just idk.. it sits in our culture lmao.

i honestly don't know how to explain this better, but quite dark comedic elements like this (after all he gets properly fucked up in the stunts it seems) in a song with a serious subject matter is something we've been doing for decades in this country (juice leskinen, for example) and it is something so loved by finnish people. we love a song that is just fucked up on multiple levels. käärijä is just adding his own style to this cultural history.

okay, onto the language.

the verse opens with "tekevälle sattuu" which is a finnish proverb.

quick finnish lesson: the word sattua in finnish means both to hurt and to happen. the word tehdä means to do but tehdä kipeää means hurting. like.. now that i think about it tämä tekee kipeää = this is doing (me a) hurt is valid and correct finnish lmao.

tekevälle sattuu, the proverb, actually means "things happen to those who do" but he is playing with the different meanings here, because he goes on to say "ain sattuu ku tekee" which can both mean "things always happen when you do" or it can mean "it always hurts when you do". then he goes on to say "ku tekee, ku kipee, ni kipeetä tekee" which is once again playing with words, because kipee here means both pain but also being sick. "ku tekee, ku kipee" would translate as "when you do as if you're sick" and "kipeetä tekee" means that it hurts.

so to recap (i'm not trying to provide a smooth translation, but highlight his wordplay:

tekevälle sattuu = things/pain happen to those who do [things]

ain sattuu ku tekee = shit happens/you get hurt when you do [things]

ku tekee, ku kipee, ni kipeetä tekee = when you do [things] like you're sick [in the head], you get hurt

so this is all to say two things: he's using the finnish language in a very clever way that really only becomes clear if you know the language and all of these idioms and proverbs. and also that he is very good at what he does. it has taken me four paragraphs to explain 13 words.

and he doesn't even end there. "oon yllytyshullu, ain hulluksi yllyn" is more play on words. jesus, jere. okay guys, stay with me.

yllytyshullu i explained in my previous analysis, but recap: yllytys means incitement and hullu means crazy. yllytyshullu is someone who does crazy shit when prompted.

"ain hulluksi yllyn" here he is using the word yltyä which is the same root as yllytys, but yltyä means usually more like.. to intensify. (for example: sade yltyy = the rain is getting heavier, or tuuli yltyy = the wind is picking up)

so to say hulluksi yllyn, he's saying like.. i let myself be incited and/or i always take it to the max, to the point of crazy.

and then he uses very clever rhyming words: "ja tää hullunmylly on kylmempi kylpy". hullu means crazy, mylly means mill, hullunmylly is basically a hullabaloo.

as you can tell, all of this is like bordering on impossible to translate accurately into a smooth translation. and that's just the first verse, but i'd be here all night if i explained the whole entire song 😭

and this to me is a very clear sign that no matter what sort of an audience he has internationally, he's not compromising on his language. and i find that admirable and, as a finnish person, very comforting too. this song is sort of reassuring, like he is reinserting himself very firmly into finnish culture, with the language and the comedy that do not translate very well. 

and if you look at the pre-chorus and chorus, the specific references keep coming: calling him kärtsä (finnish people have a lot of nicknames for him), "hyppää kybäst pommi" the slang use of kybä to mean ten meters, he mentions duudsonit (the dudesons) and he mentions jorvi hospital. all of these feel like he is signalling to a very finnish audience. (also "oon syypää sun hymyyn" could count as a cheek reference, cheek used to be like the biggest rapper in finland).

okay, time for melody and music speak. i only have one simple point here: melodically and musically speaking that has to be the most suomi iskelmä chorus i've heard from him. ever.

you could take that melody and insert it as the chorus to like any song on iskelmä radio. iskelmä is a finnish schlager music genre. kind of impossible to describe but something that finnish people will instantly recognise. the opening, with the piano synth could also open an iskelmä song.

very suomi, very iskelmä.

so.

all of this is why i think takavoltti is about as finnish as it gets. a suomi iskelmä about having serious issues with boundaries that uses clever finnish and paints a comedic picture of a banged up black-eyed käärijä who has dislocated his shoulder but is still showing thumbs up is like.. so much finnish condensed into three and a half minutes.

i know not everyone thinks the song is hilarious but i do. it's both hilarious and very serious and that's how we like it here.

and of course the fact that there is an "ai vittu" in there. we like that too.

[ethobslabbin]

thought it would be fun to put together a bingo card for the upcoming S6 playoffs!! very much an outsider looking in when it comes to mcsr but hopefully this is at least kind of balanced lmao

(sorry for crunchy quality im too lazy to fix it)

more details on the refrences/how i plan to judge each square below the cut:

hackingnoises boat craft(tm): will count any miscraft made by hax but bonus points if its actually a boat. this is a reference to how much hackingnoises has struggled to accurately craft his items especially last playoffs. for an example, watch the first fulham analysis from his finals against doog

scariest opponent selected early: the season 5 and 6 playoffs are structured so that runners with higher seeds get to select who out of 4 lower seeded runners they want to play. will count if anyone makes a +100 aura pick. last season bigbigmongey chose to play silverrruns (ranked season 1 winner) during round 2, shocking literally everyone. it was based as fuck. (he then lost 0-3)

feinberg strays: will only count if casters audibly/visibly react to the number of strays feinberg gets. this is a refrence to feinberg often getting incredibly lucky with the stray blazes that spawn in his fortresses. strays can greatly increase how fast a runner can get all their rods, and are one of the only things not standardized between runners in ranked.

LCQ player wins set: LCQ player is in refrence to the 4 runners that made it through the last chance qualifier. they are typically seen as underdogs, and an LCQ runner beating an auto-qualified player in a best-of-5 is pretty rare. last playoffs none of the LCQ players made it past the round of 16.

ALERT: will only count if fulham circles something and then draws an arrow towards it during an analysis segment. this is a refrence to the ALERT emote, which is of a flashing red circle with a red arrow pointing towards it. fulham uses a drawing tablet to underline and emphasize his analyses.

muted: will count if feinberg, nerdi, or fulham speak without realizing they are muted at any point during playoffs.

rowl luck: will count if 7rowl gets extremely unlucky OR his opponent gets extremely lucky during their match

runner misses stronghold: will only count if the runner completely whiffs. getting caved/hitting but needing to dig down or up to actually hit starter will not count

HBG vs HBG: feinberg, dandannyboy, silverruns, and doogile are all members of HBG. will count if any combination of these four face each other during playoffs.

repeat winner: will count if any previous playoffs winner wins again

new player introduction video: will count if a player who has not given an interview for playoffs before gives one. feinberg doesn't count.

[doublel27]

I thought joong was straight? He is quite into dunk lips but beyond that i thought straight. I don't even read him as bi?

Look, I neither actually know nor care what Joong’s sexual orientation is. That’s between him and whomever he chooses to tell. And most of my Joong knowledge is adjacent to my knowledge of FKT, AouBoom, EarthMix and DaouOffroad because he’s close with all of them. I more know of him then know him, so I could be missing stuff.

I would say, in regards to your ask, Joong doesn’t appear to have the painful knowing that often comes along with growing up queer in a society that doesn’t want you to be that a lot of other queer people use as a tell to identify each other. The thing that makes us, as queer folx, hesitate or get shy when it comes to things straight people wouldn’t think twice of. And while I do use that in my analysis sometimes, I also know members of Gen Z across the world actively work to resist that shyness and that shame that comes with internalized homophobia and honestly the real-world consequences that can come from being proudly out.

What I do know is he is 1000% into the fanservice portion of his job. Now either it’s his job and he’s having the best time being gay for pay, its his job and he’s excellent at pretending to have the best time pretending to be gay, or he is just shamelessly queer and has said fuck the knowing.

This man is out here yelling into full concert audiences “where is my teerak” and when the audience yells back saying SHHH! he didn’t ask for them, he asked for Teerak! He’s hugging and kissing Dunk at every opportunity and posting various shots of Dunk’s bare waist in crop tops during this THK filming area. He strikes me as the kind of man who reads the RPF about himself. In The Heart Killers book fair panel this past week, he talked about his love of reading BL novels and imaging himself and Dunk in the lead roles. Take that for what you will.

He also expressly stated in an interview alongside Dunk this week that he insisted on being paired with a partner the same height as him. Specifically stating, he thinks it’s a stereotype that one member of an imagined pair/branded couple is always bigger than the other and he didn’t want to lean into it. He wanted to go against that narrative.

As @firstkanaphans and @respectthepetty pointed out, he has a shit ton of queer friends and has close relationships with the members of GMM that are most likely to be clocked as queer (whether they are or not is also not expressly public knowledge and some folx that people clock as gay are straight because femme isn’t exclusive to gay men) Which again, either he’s the most down for the cause straight dude that exists or he’s also queer. My stance is considering he and Daou talk about how close they were to starving trying to make their first shot at being idols happen, I hope they’re having the best time in Thai BL fanservice land being shameless and getting that money.

To end, let me paraphrase my beloved Kit Harrington: to believe you can tell the level of queerness someone embodies just by looking at them or listening to their voice or looking at their hobbies, you’ve missed the entire part of Heartstopper.

Which is why I keep all my speculating to mostly private convos and tumblr where I can pretend celebrities don’t live because we’re all mostly anonymous on here and this site is hell to search. Don’t @ folx on Twitter or on their IGs or their TikToks. Don’t try and out people with YouTube videos. Let the Schrödinger’s Gays enjoy their boxes.

I know I have other anons (I see you. I am maybe coming soon) but this required less work on my end to compile my answers.

[mangacomicphoenixblog]

I MISSED THE SPOILER WHEN WATCHING THE INTERVIEW WITH KEANU O SHADOW! Let's take it in order. After the trailer was released, all the plums were viewed, I rarely watch interviews with the actors. But having included one analysis of an Advertising TV interview with a YouTuber (Thank you Mason Parkinson who said this in the analysis), I completely forgot about the spoiler in this part. After rewinding the video, I didn't pay attention to it, but…Just look at this screenshot I took from that very interview.

PARAMOUNT! I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION! WHAT THE FUCK?!

[cleolinda]

Weekend links, February 23, 2025

My posts

Silent Hill 2 update: I have now recorded the first two hours of gameplay with commentary, which gets us through the jukebox puzzle reveal, and I’m going to be able to record that quest through our arrival at Woodside Apartments tomorrow, knock on wood. I’m working on a timestamped list of topics and some additional things I forgot to mention, because the commentary is a bit... information dense. It’s like, some new Fact every minute or two. This is mostly just because South Vale has a lot of easter eggs and lore per square inch. By the time we get to the apartments, it won’t be like, “Apartment 215 was named after the author Fifteen McCarthy” or anything, so it should calm down by that point.

But man, I was so jittery. I calmed down once I had some monsters to whack. That said, the frame rate was WILDING OUT, which ended up being pretty funny toward the end so I’ll allow it, but I can’t figure out why the game is this fussy this early on. I’ve checked my graphic settings, which are still the Optimized for PC settings that I found. 

("Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly" did give me some comfort.)

Meanwhile, Ian did his first livestream commentary this past Wednesday, focusing at first on the music of Silent Hill 2.

Reblogs of interest

Artist (Marta Minujín) Uses 100,000 Banned Books To Build A Full-Size Parthenon At Historic Nazi Book Burning Site

Tumblr turns 18 years old. I’ve been here since 2010, so I’m maybe less shocked than most people. But still. 

Happy birthday also to Edward Gorey

The saddest “werewolf”

Mothman emergency commissions: Mothman can be in your photos badly for $5, goodly for more

I too love Scytheguy

Daniel Craig returns as Benoit Blanc

Artists, it’s time to flee Twitter: they’re feeding your art to Grok AI but also posting it unchanged while crediting it to Grok 

A story told in google searches

The jorrors

Croissant discourse

I actually was unaware of chia flour back when I was playing Neopets back in college, but it’s horrifying

Sincerely, you don’t get this kind of literary analysis on other social media platforms (this time it’s Lord of the Flies)

Similarly, it’s Tumblr who can explain Jocelyn’s costumes in A Knight’s Tale

Moby Dick as cosmic horror

There is a crack in everything, that’s how the fanfic gets in

The polar bear overlords of Kolyuchin Island

What are your whimsical habits?

Lindy West’s husband toots the bad cone

Nobody understands what the fuck this woman is on about re: manicures and Elusive International Hot Girls

Rb to remind a friend not to put the pffthlarthh in their mouth

I will laugh at literally any Silent Hill joke

You are not lost. You are here.

Video

Josh Johnson’s set about the Kendrick Lamar Super Bowl show that I had been longing for

Harper Watters' homage to great Black ballet dancers

Trail cam: Animal crossing

Chris Kluwe engaging in civil disobedience

Re: US politics: PBS NewsHour is free on YouTube

I did not at any point know where this Tiktok video was going

Behind every girlie working from home (is a cat)

Ghoul on a stool

The sacred texts

I had no idea that the “I GUESS” meme actually came from a comic about a cat strip club 

Personal tag of the week

I’m going to say David Lynch, because some really lovely interview excerpts showed up, plus a random Twin Peaks post.

[cobainqueer]

List of Posts about Kurt Cobain

(Kurdt Kobane) by @cobainqueer

Last Update: 20 February 2025 (HBD Kurt!)

Topics: Personal Life; Sexuality, Gender & Expression; Journals, Lyrics, & Assorted Writings; Artwork; Music; Concerts; Tributes; Documentaries; Death & Investigation, and more…

ASKS & SUBMISSIONS OPEN: send in asks, submissions and requests I'll get back to you!

Note all submissions will be credited, unless submitted anonymously or otherwise specified.

NEW Community! All Cobain lovers welcome!

Sexuality, Gender & Expression

Reclaiming the Past: was Kurt Cobain trans? (Medium | Daniel Rowley)

Anyone else get the vibe that Kurt Cobain was polyamorous? (Thread with text and photos)

“I want a dress.”- K.C. (Video post)

“I personally like to wear dresses around the house sometimes.” - K.C. (Video post)

Journals, Lyrics, & Assorted Writings

From Cobain’s Journal: A List - Kurt Cobain, Journals (image & text post)

Just Before I Fall Asleep (semihypnotic state of conciousness) - Kurt Cobain, Journals (image & text post)

I’ve lost my MIND many times, and my wallet many more. — Kurt Cobain, Journals (image & text post)

“May women rule the world.” — Kurt Cobain, Journals (image & text post)

Art

Kurt Filming His Artwork - Kurt Cobain (YT)

In Utero Mixed Media Art - Kurt Cobain

“the male seahorse carries the children and gives them Birth.” - Kurt Cobain, Journals (image & text post)

REVEALED: Kurt Cobain’s Original Artwork | Source: KidsOfDada (article & photos)

Kurt Cobain’s Art: Collages & Sculptures | source: incesticide23 (YT video)

Spoken Word

Aberdeen (Montage of Heck) Kurt Cobain Home Demo

Rhesus Monkey (Montage of Heck) Kurt Cobain Home Demo

Audio from “Kurt Cobain Unseen”

Collaborations & Covers

“The Priest They Called Him” (1992) performed by Kurt Cobain (guitar) & William S. Burroughs (spoken word)

Photos from Kurt’s visit to Burroughs Kansas home in ‘93. A YouTube clip about Kurt’s trip is in this linked post.

Lyrics

Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle - Nirvana (Lyrics & Music Video)

Opinion: Home Demo & Journal Lyrics (previously unreleased home demo audio leaked to YT, & Cobain’s original lyrics from their journal)

Sappy (Cobain’s lyrics from their journals, music video, and song analysis video)

Spank Thru - Nirvana (lyrics & music videos)

Talk to Me - (17 Nov 1991) Nirvana in Italy (video & lyrics)

Music

Nirvana in Chronological Order (list of Nirvana songs and their respective recording/release dates)

In Bloom - All in Dresses (music video)

Lithium - (official music video & article discussing the context behind “Lithium”)

Polly - (music video)

Smells Like Teen Spirit - (music video)

You Know You’re Right-(official music video - YouTube) (music video - tumblr)

Records, Albums, Singles, & Demos

Fecal Matter - “Illiteracy Will Prevail” (1985/1986) full demo

Come As You Are - (1991) Single EP

Lithium - (21 July 1992) Single EP

All Apologies - (1993) Single

Montage of Heck - Full Album (YT Playlist)

Concerts & Shows

Nirvana LIVE at Green River Community College (26 May 1989) [alt source]

Nirvana LIVE at the Pyramid Club (18 July 1989)

New footage from Nirvana doing a show in a Record Store (1991)

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana (1991) at TOtP (video of Kurt fucking around singing Smells Like Teen Spirit and essentially pretending to blow a mic)

Nirvana - Live at The College of William & Mary, Williamsburg, VA (07November 1993) Remastered AUD2

Interviews & Radio

What Is Nirvana? (January 1990) Seattle, WA Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic, & Chad Channing

Interview with Nirvana at Man Ray, Cambridge, MA (18 April 1990) Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic, & Chad Channing

Kurt Cobain LIVE at KAOS (1990/1991?) (YT video) Songs: Opinion, Lithium, Dumb, Been A Son

Early Nirvana Interview About The Growth of Rock Popularity - (June 1992) Sjöhistoriska Museet Sweden, broadcasted on TMF in the Nirvana Special

Kurt Cobain Interview with Jon Savage (22 July 1993) YT

LA Times Interview “Storming Back From The Brink” (August 1993) LiveNirvana

“I have a request for our fans.” — Kurt Cobain

Movies & Documentaries

Nirvana - Behind The Scenes (Full Documentary)

Last Days: Kurt Cobain (FULL MOVIE)

Kurt Cobain: About A Son - (FULL DOCUMENTARY)

HISTORY of EARLY NIRVANA 1980’s Documentary - Daniel Sarkissian (2023) YT

Books

Journals — Kurt Cobain (2002, & 2003)

Kurt Cobain Unseen — Charles R. Cross (2008) [Audio CD]

Here We Are Now — Charles R. Cross (2014)

The Pleasures of Death: Kurt Cobain’s Masochistic and Melancholic Persona — Arthur Flannigan Saint-Aubin (2020)

Tributes

Tearjerker by Red Hot Chili Peppers — Song & Lyrics dedicated to Kurt Cobain

Death & Investigation

Cobain’s Autopsy Report (King County, WA Medical Examiner; cobaincase.com)

Cobain Shotgun & Crime Scene Photos (Seattle Police Department)

[lestappenforever]

this is directed to you social-psychological anon (my goat <3)!!

you’re so right. max literally cares soooo much about what charles thinks of him. when anyone has anything bad to say about max, he doesn’t really care, has a short and cold response to it, or just laughs it off (if it’s someone he knows doesn’t mean it, like lando joking “max ruins everything”). point is he doesn’t really care that much. however, a few years ago an interviewer asked charles what was annoying about max and they made max respond to it, which is so weird but we roll anyways lol. charles goes “annoying? i don’t know. i guess he can say weird things to the media. but that’s okay, he has personality. personality is important.” (this isn’t an exact quote but it’s along the lines of what he said!). he barely even says anything bad, and he immediately compliments max right after. however, max got so upset about it. he immediately goes “I DON’T CARE WHAT HE THINKS!! >:(“ he took it much deeper than he usually does about not great comments toward him. whole country booing him? he doesn’t give a fuck. charles says a barely insulting (not even) comment? he takes that shot so personally 😭 it just shows how important charles’ opinion is to him. fascinating….

Social-psychological anon, another admirerer who shares their own wonderful insight to this analysis. ❤️

And I'd like to throw in my own two cents here, because there is absolutely something truly marvellous about how Max could not give less of a fuck about what other people think of him, no matter who it is. But with Charles? There is some deeprooted urge within him, a desperate desire for Charles' approval, that just gives him a whole other response to anything that may even be slightly interpreted as negative if it comes from Charles.

Your example with that video of Charles being asked if Max is annoying, and Max's clearly bothered response is excellent. Had that been anyone else — a reporter, another driver, literally anyone who is not Charles Marc Harvé Perceval Leclerc — he wouldn't even have batted an eye. Hell, he probably would have grinned as if whoever it was had just given him a massive compliment. But because it was Charles, and because Max for some reason decided that Charles was sort of insulting him (even when he absolutely was not — quite the contrary, the way I personally view it), just gives away just how much Charles' opinion of him means to him. And that is a huge deal, given how Max Emilian Verstappen is very well-known for not giving a flying fuck about what other people think of him.

I think a lot of this boils down to the fact that it's Charles. The guy Max has fought against for most of his racing life, the boy who grew up alongside him in karting, the guy his own father believed was predestined to fight him on track forever, even in F1. (Which is high fucking praise from Jos Verstappen.) Max and Charles have been tied together for as long as Max can remember, and for as long as they're both competing in the same league, Max will think of Charles as the rival to beat. He will think of Charles as the one driver on the grid with the biggest chance of giving him a proper fight, even when he so clearly can't.

Take this season, for example. We haven't gotten to see many battles between Max and Charles for obvious reasons (Ferrari being absolutely abysmal for most of the season), but the few times we have gotten to see it? Max will go fucking wheel-to-wheel with Charles as if they're both in the running of winning the WDC and the winner will be decided based on who comes out victorious out of that particular turn. It doesn't matter that Max knows that he's going to get past Charles. It doesn't matter that Max knows that Charles won't actually be able to fight him for a race win unless Max is starting from far back on the grid and Charles isn't. It doesn't matter that Max knows the car Charles is driving and the strategies his own team are throwing at him aren't up to par. None of that matters, because fighting Charles Leclerc and seeing him as his biggest rival is so deeply ingrained into Max's entire racing identity that he will treat every battle he gets against Charles as if it's a battle that will decide the title even if it fucking kills him.

And that right there? That deep-rooted respect and admiration for Charles? The same kind of deep-rooted respect and admiration Charles has for him? That connection that has taken them from "hating" each other in karting, to civil colleagues in F1, to an actual, genuine friendship that they so clearly both treasure incredibly dearly, as proven by the blatant shift in the vibe between them recently? That's the reason as to why Max, despite clearly not giving a flying fuck about what anyone else thinks of him, will always care about what Charles thinks of him. That's why Max goes to such extreme lengths to behave differently around Charles than he does with any of the other drivers, and why he treats Charles so differently from everyone else. Because not only does Max know and respect Charles' boundaries and his preferred way of being treated, but he wants to do it right. He wants to exist within the same space as Charles and do it well. He wants Charles to enjoy and look forward to their interactions as much as Max himself does. And to this day he craves that approval from Charles as much as he probably did when they were kids, but back then he was too hot-headed and stubborn to realize that the "hate" he felt towards Charles was actually nothing more than the excitement and slight fear of seeing such a massive part of yourself reflected in someone else — someone you were supposed to hate.

I've seen it mentioned so many times in different posts on Tumblr, but it's absolutely true what they say: Max is so much softer around Charles than he is around anyone else, and treats Charles with a sense of care I am yet to see with any of the other drivers. Which, to me, is such a testament to just how much he values Charles' opinion of him.

[daisyswift3]

Jumping in the Deep End 🐇🕳️💛

So there’s sth else I noticed related to the Gracie rabbit hole I’ve fallen down that I haven’t mentioned yet bc I feel crazy saying it but I’ve already said a lot of insane stuff lately so fuck it. But before u read this post I do recommend reading this other analysis I wrote as well as this post first bc it’ll make everything make more sense. Ok continuing….

Not long after The Secret of Us was released on June 21, I watched this interview that was uploaded the day the album was released where Gracie texts her fans. One of the first things I noticed was how Gracie suspiciously looks straight at the camera as she makes a typo which I mentioned in the analysis I just linked, but another thing that caught my attention was that one of the fans is named Aimee (3:06 mark in the vid). I thought this was a little strange bc Aimee isn’t really the typical spelling of that name, it’s usually spelled like this instead, Amy. But even more strange was that the day after this interview was uploaded, June 22, Taylor just so happened to play thanK you aIMee as one of the surprise songs in London. What an interesting coincidence!

June 22 was a big deal bc it was Midsummer Day which celebrates daylight. This is likely why Gracie made yellow 💛 the main color of the album and chose to release it on June 21, Midsummer Eve—bc this album is abt a coming out journey (see these posts for more on that: x, x, x, x, x, x, x). And if you look at the text “Aimee” sends, it sounds like sth an artist would ask another artist rather than a typical fan question. Aimee specifically asks abt her creative process which is a very artist thing to do. So basically all that to say I wouldn’t be surprised if Aimee was actually Taylor and this text was also an easter egg for us to find just like the intentional glitches and typos.

If this text was in fact from Taylor, I believe the purpose of it may have been to lead us down the Gracie rabbit hole where we could find endless cross references between Gracie’s music and Taylor’s music. If you watch the music videos for those 3 songs Aimee mentions and listen to the lyrics, they could easily be interpreted as being abt Taylor’s secret relationship w this korner of the internet that is almost like the Hanging Gardens of Babylon bc there’s no tangible proof it ever existed but there is a lot of folklore surrounding it and the story has been passed down and become a myth. “Wonder if you regret the secret of us.” I believe these 3 songs could be from Taylor’s perspective. And to go even further w it (fair warning, this is where we really go off the deep end), I think it’s very possible that not just these songs are abt this secret relationship, but most of Gracie’s songs bc all of them reference each other and have lyrical and visual parallels to each other much like Taylor’s songs (see this post).

Now I want to make it very clear: Gracie is her own person w her own talents outside of Taylor. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea or think I’m trying to undermine Gracie’s artistry or give all the credit to Taylor. And I also don’t think this secret relationship was the only inspiration for these songs since it’s very clear Gracie uses her own personal experiences and feelings, and I believe she could be writing abt more than one muse or from more than one person’s perspective in each song, similar to how in hoax Taylor sings abt 3 different relationships simultaneously. I am simply trying to point out the insane amount of parallels between Gracie and Taylor’s music that I think are too abundant to simply chalk up to coincidence. And I’m not saying that my interpretations are for sure the right ones, I could definitely be wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time. This is just a fun clown theory that I think is worth considering.

So going back to those 3 songs in the text—Mess It Up, I know it won’t work, The Bottom—I wanted to do an analysis on them and the mvs bc I think the reason why “Aimee” might’ve been pointing us to those specific songs and mvs is bc they are an important part of this coming out story. Plus the specific symbolism and imagery used in the songs can be cross referenced w pretty much every other song in Gracie’s discography (and w many Taylor songs) making them all connected.

For instance, the main themes in Mess It Up are:

Not growing up -> minor, tehe, Wishful Thinking, Older, Better, Augusta, Alright, Difficult // Peter, The Archer, cardigan, betty, peace

Groundhog Day (This is related to the next theme) -> Under/Over, Risk mv, I Love You, I’m Sorry, us // The Prophecy

Making the same mistake over and over/Bad habits -> Long Sleeves, Rockland, The Bottom, Best, Will you cry?, Difficult, This is what the drugs are for, Fault line, Block me out, Blowing Smoke, I Love You, I’m Sorry, us, Let It Happen // Anti-Hero, coney island, Florida!!!, Fresh Out The Slammer, The Black Dog

Not being able to sleep at night -> Rockland, Hard to Sleep, Camden, Painkillers, Difficult, This is what the drugs are for, The blue, 405, Risk, Blowing Smoke, Let It Happen, Tough Love // Midnights the stories of 13 sleepless nights, hoax

The birthday cakes -> 21, Stay mv, Mean It mv, Risk mv // All Too Well short film, coney island

“Let it happen” -> The song Let It Happen on TSOU, Better

Lying -> For Real This Time, Best, Full machine, Where do we go now?, Block me out, Blowing Smoke, Let It Happen // Getaway Car, illicit affairs, the lavender haze/bearding/red herrings

Phone calls -> 21, Rockland, Full machine, I should hate you, This is what the drugs are for, The blue, Block me out, us, Let It Happen // cowboy like me, Anti-Hero mv, Fortnight mv

Going onto a porch in order to apologize to someone -> Risk mv (technically not to apologize but it’s still related to coming out and making things right) // betty, cardigan, this is me trying, long story short, Fresh Out the Slammer

The main themes in I know it won’t work are:

Closets -> Peter, seven, cowboy like me, I Know Places

Drawing the line in the sand and putting up boundaries or crossing boundaries -> Mess It Up, Long Sleeves, For Real This Time, Best, Felt Good About You, Let It Happen, Gave You I Gave You I

Cutting ties w someone -> Friend, Blowing Smoke, Free Now

Being someone’s ghost/haunting someone -> I miss you, I’m sorry, us, Block me out // Basically all of TTPD and much of folkmore and Midnights (Anti-Hero mv)

The main themes in The Bottom are:

“I told you I was down bad, you hate to see me like that” -> Down Bad

Making the same mistake over and over/Bad habits -> Long Sleeves, Rockland, The Bottom, Best, Will you cry?, Difficult, This is what the drugs are for, Fault line, Block me out, Blowing Smoke, I Love You, I’m Sorry, us, Let It Happen // Anti-Hero, coney island, Florida!!!, Fresh Out The Slammer, The Black Dog

Opening up the door and letting someone into your house, closing the door, or going into someone’s house uninvited -> Mess It Up mv, Under/Over, tehe, I should hate you, us, Let It Happen, I Love You, I’m Sorry, Gave You I Gave You I // cardigan, hoax, Anti-Hero mv

Dragging someone down/Hitting rock bottom/Coming down after a high or being high (drug metaphor; becoming more famous=“getting higher”) -> Long Sleeves, Rockland, Wishful Thinking, Painkillers, Alright, This is what the drugs are for, Fault line, Right now, Block me out, Blowing Smoke, I Knew It, I Know You, Gave You I Gave You I, Free Now // Many songs on TTPD use the drug metaphor, gold rush, long story short, Anti-Hero mv (pushed from balcony), seven, this is me trying, illicit affairs

Being the problem -> 21, minor, Rockland, Wishful Thinking, Older, Painkillers, Best, Difficult, Block me out, Unsteady, I Love You, I’m Sorry mv // Anti-Hero

Mess It Up

So as I stated before this song is all abt making the same mistakes over and over and reliving the same day like it’s Groundhog Day. Gracie, the narrator, keeps trying to make things right and apologize to the person she’s hurt, but every time she tries she messes it up which is represented by her dropping the cake repeatedly. But finally at the end of the mv, she is able to get it right and properly apologize. She knocks on someone’s door and they open it which symbolizes this person opening their heart to Gracie and forgiving her. If you go to the 2:12 mark in the mv when the letters and numbers on the fridge fall, you’ll see that they spell out a secret message “Hi (13, 31) Peter Pan - T” (the “I” doubles as a 1, the “3” doubles as an E, and the “L” doubles as an R/r if flipped on its side). Taylor was 31 yrs old when the Mess It Up mv was released on May 6, 2021. Peter Pan is the boy who never grew up. This means that it’s likely the narrator’s inability to grow up that is causing issues in the relationship. This is why the song starts w “Opened two double doors, typical, pretty sure I could grow up.”

“Did I fall out of like when I called you” -> Did I cross a boundary and make things worse when I called you? Boundaries are one of the main themes in I know it won’t work. I believe that Gracie and Taylor could be using “phone calls/texts/letters” as a metaphor for the anon messages and riddles we’ve received over the years. As a result of trying to solve these messages and riddles, kaylors have gotten a ton of hate and many have had to leave the fandom bc the environment is so toxic. This song could be Taylor acknowledging these issues and apologizing for how we’ve been treated.

“'Cause every time I get too close, I just go mess it up” -> It’s possible Taylor has tried many times over the years to properly apologize to us by giving us more cryptic messages containing these apologies, but the problem is that these anon messages and riddles are the main reason why we get bullied so this only makes the issue worse in the end.

“Funny that (Funny that) didn't work (Didn't work), I could be anywhere, I'm on your block” -> I believe this could be related to I Love You, I’m Sorry. “The way life goes, Joyriding down our road, Lay on the horn to prove that it haunts me, (I'm wrong again, wrong again) I love you, I'm sorry.” This song also has the lyrics “I wanna speak in code” which makes me think of the anon messages and queer flagging.

“I keep thinking, maybe if you let me back in, we can make it better, breaking every habit” -> Taylor talks abt breaking bad habits in The Black Dog which I believe represents putting an end to the bearding/lavender haze/red herrings/smokescreen/blowing smoke/not growing up.

It’s very interesting that Gracie uses a birthday cake to apologize. Birthday cakes are a common symbol that shows up in Gracie’s music. They also appear in 21, another apology song, and the Risk mv which is likely abt the mass coming out (see this post). In the All Too Well mv, Sadie’s character receives a birthday cake at the same time that Taylor sings, “But then he watched me watch the front door all night, willin' you to come, And he said, ‘It's supposed to be fun turning 21.’” In both 21 and ATW 10 min version, the older person in the relationship misses their significant other’s 21st birthday which greatly hurts them. These songs could be 2 sides of the same coin from opposite perspectives like dorothea and TTDS. With how many connections there are between Gracie and Taylor’s music, I’m inclined to believe this isn’t a coincidence.

(From the Mean It mv. When the 21 candles are thrown in the box they almost look like a backward "t" and "s")

“If it doesn't go away by the time I turn 30, I made a mistake and I'll tell you I'm sorry, ‘Sorry.’” The narrator is saying once she turns 30 she’ll apologize to the 21 yr old if her feelings haven’t changed by then. This is immediately followed by a “sorry” meaning the narrator has actually already turned 30 yrs old which is another indicator that Gracie is in fact speaking from someone else’s perspective bc Gracie was only 20 at the time of this song’s release in 2020. Plus just a few tracks later in the same album, the narrator says "I miss you, I'm sorry" which she said she wouldn’t say until after she turned 30. Taylor was 30 yrs old when the album minor was released in July 2020 and when 21 was released as a single on Feb 20, 2020. If this song is from Taylor’s perspective at 30 yrs old, then the significant other/ex being 21 indicates it (along w all the other cross-referenceable songs) is likely not abt a literal romantic relationship; rather, the song is an allegory or metaphor. The 21 (acoustic) mv has "I miss you" on the piano and "I'm sorry" in the notebook which indicates that 21 is directly related to I miss you, I'm sorry. The emphasis on birthdays and age in 21 fits well w the Peter Pan metaphor that shows up in many of Gracie’s songs. Even though the narrator is getting physically older, she is not getting metaphorically older. To add even more credibility to this theory, the song minor has the line “Hit me 3-1-0” which could represent both Taylor turning 31 in 2020 and a backwards 13. 13s show up several times in Gracie’s mvs and songs. The Secret of Us is a 13-track album that was released on June 21. Additionally, the first 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 message was sent July 21 and the second to last message, which I’m now pretty certain is abt Gracie’s album TSOU, was sent May 21 (x).

Look at the numbers on the houses ⬇️ Going column-wise there’s 226(1), 226(3) which is a 13 and there’s also ✌️✌️ which Taylor has used a ton for TTPD (Taylor said in Nov 2021 she wanted to try to plan sth 3 yrs in advance); 2267 -> 6+7=13. Adding up 2+2+6+3 also gives u 13 while 2+2+6+1=11=K. And 6+6 from the 2261, 2263 (again going column-wise) is 12 which is 21 backwards. The 13 showing up in the Risk mv just confirms these choices in the Mess It Up mv were completely intentional.

Gracie and Taylor performed I miss you, I’m sorry together at eras which was Taylor’s suggestion since Gracie’s set was canceled that day (x)(x). I just think it’s very interesting that Taylor wore a yellow dress when they sang this song and then a yr later she just so happened to be featured on the title track of Gracie’s very yellow album 💛 which they (allegedly) didn’t start writing until Nov 13 a few months later (x). This indicates that this performance was likely planned ahead of time and not a last minute decision like they said. I think much of the timeline we’ve been given for Gracie and Taylor’s friendship might be a red herring to prevent ppl from figuring out what these songs are really abt. Gracie and Taylor (allegedly) wrote us together on Nov 13, 2023 spontaneously; but Taylor wearing yellow during IMYIS along w the pap walk w the Cassandra handbag, almost burning down the house 🕯️🧯, and and the fact that all this happened on Nov 13, the day Karlie and Taylor met, indicates that us was actually written much earlier and that the Nov 13 story was just a red herring.

I know it won’t work

This song is all abt boundaries. There are different types of boundaries that show up in the mv: A shoreline, a line in the sand, a fence. It’s clear the narrator doesn’t want to end this relationship and put up walls but she believes she has no other choice bc of her circumstances (not being able to grow up -> Peter, closets).

“I left you here, Heard you keep the extra closet empty, In case this year I come back and stay throughout my twenties” -> The narrator knows there’s no guarantee she’ll actually “grow up” and come out of the closet so her ex keeps the closet empty just in case she wants to move back in and stay in the closet.

“What if I won't? How am I supposed to put that gently? And down the road you will love me until you resent me” -> Since these lines directly follow the ones I just mentioned, you might be inclined to think that “What if I won’t?” is the narrator asking “What if I won’t move back in and rekindle our relationship?” BUT I believe the wording was intentionally ambiguous bc that way it could also mean “What if I won’t grow up and leave the closet? Will you eventually come to resent me if I can’t be the hero you want?”

“But it's a lot, All the shine of half a decade fadin', The whole facade seemed to fall apart, it's complicated” -> This perfectly parallels the 11/09/2019 ♠️ message. The narrator is saying her ex is asking a lot of her by wanting her to come out and destroy the facade. I believe decade might’ve been changed to half a decade so as to not make it obvious Gracie is singing from Taylor’s perspective. The “shine” symbolizes the love and support from fans that has come w being such a famous and successful artist. That’s not an easy thing to give up.

“Why won't you try movin' on for once? That might make it easy, I know we cut all the ties, but you're never really leavin'” -> Taylor knows that even if us kaylors walk away from her we will always eventually come back bc we can’t help but be invested and this puts a lot of pressure on Taylor that she doesn’t want.

“I'll open up, I'm thinkin' everythin' you wish I wasn't, The call was tough but you're better off, I'm bein' honest, So, won't you stop holdin' out for me when I don't want it? Just brush me off 'cause I'm your ghost right now, your house is haunted” -> This entire 3rd verse is extremely telling and fits perfectly w the 2019 failed coming out. The call to not come out was tough bc she was conflicted abt it but she thinks she ultimately made the right decision. Taylor is asking us to stop holding out for a coming out bc it’s not what she wants. Of course I don’t think this is how Taylor currently feels bc I think she’s getting ready to burn down the closet but I think this song shows how she felt at one point. I think the ghost imagery is supposed to connect this song w I miss you, I’m sorry and us as well as all the ghost imagery Taylor has used.

The Bottom

This song is abt hitting rock bottom and being worried that you will drag the ppl you love down w you. It’s kind of a more scathing version of Anti-Hero. I think this song could be directly related to the Mess It Up mv. Someone opens up the door to let Gracie in bc she wants to apologize by giving them a cake. But the narrator warns this person that they should keep their guard up bc she will always be doomed to repeat the same mistakes and drag ppl down w her. Since this song is kind of self explanatory, I’ll instead focus on the mv.

The first thing I noticed when watching this mv is the striking similarities to the Bejeweled mv. Both seem to be inspired by Disney movies/fairytales and even the bells during the title card parts sound similar. PLUS 🎃 anon told us to watch out for things that “ring a belle” -> there are bells in both mvs and one also shows up during the burning castle scene at the end and it is literally ringing; and Bejeweled should look and sound familiar if u have watched The Bottom mv; AND Belle is a Disney princess which is another indicator that 🎃 was referring to these mvs (Taylor wears a yellow dress just like Belle at the end of Bejeweled). Gracie said that The Bottom is supposed to be a satirical mv (see description of vid) and this parallels the Bejeweled mv being satire.

Another thing that’s interesting is that The Bottom mv is kind of the opposite of the Bejeweled mv. In The Bottom, Gracie is dragging a body down the stairs and burying it (descending) while in Bejeweled, Taylor is using an elevator to get higher and higher until she reaches the top floor (ascending). Ascending and descending are things that 🫚 emphasized in this message. Ascending and descending are also things a plane does when flying from one place to another -> “I thought the plane was going down how’d you turn it right around” and all the plane imagery lately. I think 🫚 could have been trying to get us to realize that the beginning stages of this coming out plan (the “ascent,” PR stunts w MH and 🏈, red herrings, 2023-early 2024 🛫) aren’t what we should focus on, it’s the end stages of the journey (the “descent,” cracks in the facade, getting louder w queer flagging, mid 2024-Dec 2024(?) 🛬) that are important.

Yellow shows up a few times in this mv, and I think it’s significant that the room in which the murder happens is a bright one w yellow chairs. Yellow is commonly used to symbolize happiness; Taylor and Gracie use this color in a very similar way to represent daylight/sunshine/summer/being out of the closet/not hiding your real self 💛🌼☀️🏝️ So putting these things together, this scene is symbolically similar to the yellow closet in the Lover house where Taylor has had to put away her sunshine and happiness bc she wasn’t able to come out during Lover era. What was supposed to be a joyous celebration ended w death and destruction.

It’s also interesting that throughout the mv, Gracie is dancing and performing (showmanship/PR) while in a literal spotlight. This ties in perfectly w the very last scene where Gracie is smoking a cigarette which represents bearding/red herrings/lavender haze/smokescreen/smoke and mirrors magic/Blowing Smoke/bad habits. In The Black Dog, Taylor uses smoking as an example of a bad habit/self-destructive behavior she is trying to quit.

Lastly, I wanted to leave you w a few things that I think are very interesting and that could tie in w this theory:

[some-small-mercy]

Shadows In The Cave - Threat Analysis - Dreaming Big

This is a final report on OPERATION ECHOING HYMN, successfully completed on XX/ XX/201X in the suburb of XXX, New Jersey. K-CELL, as the closest available PATRIOT Agents, operated without official support and went above and beyond the call of duty doing so. Despite some losses, K-CELL (and AGENT KEVEN in particular) acted heroically and decisively to destroy an unprecedently dangerous cult before their rituals began risking the whole neighborhood around them. 

The Agents were mobilized by E-CELL through the usual channels after confused reports surfaced of a homeless man hiding dozens or hundreds of snakes in his clothing, and of those snakes attacking passersby who approached him. K-CELL is mostly located within New York, but relocated for the Operation. The lack of criminal investigation to take over or friendly assets to liaise with made investigations difficult, but K-CELL persevered. Identifying the ‘homeless man’ as a parishioner of a local strip mall church,  K-CELL began surveilling its staff and attendees. Over the course of several weeks observation, K-CELL verified that one particular Thursday evening sermon was always followed by a handful of attendees falling into hours-to-days long fugue states.  

Agents KEVIN, KATIE and KADE approached and attempted to interview several of these parishioners. In all cases, this proved more difficult (and dangerous) than expected. The targets were all consumed by powerful delusions, and something that occurred during the service caused those delusions to begin bleeding through into reality. Biting snakes and scorpions, liquids suddenly become disgusting and contaminated with filth, and the profusion of pus-filled, weeping sores across the bodies of anyone near the target were all observed first- or second-hand. The changes to reality ceased whenever the target was no longer able to carry on with their delusions (Agent KEVIN made the lucky discovery with the third target approached that unconsciousness also achieved this) but any damage caused by it remained. 

K-CELL was not able to determine what made that particular sermon the focal point of FOREIGN influence, but took decisive action to deal with the threat permanently. The assault was successful, and destroyed a far more powerful and dangerous cult than anyone had realized. As K-CELL entered the church, it was discovered to be utterly transformed from how it appeared on publicly available videos and during previous surveillance. The congregation was engaged in ecstatic worship as one of their members (not an ordained pastor, apparently picked at random from the crowd) read from the book that was the center of the FOREIGN incursion. Tragically, Agent KADE was lost in the course of the Operation - but Agent KEVIN was able to eliminate the preacher before he could finish reading a passage from the tome and complete whatever wound to reality was being cut. 

The tome, along with all other religious texts and strange material found around the church, was destroyed with prejudice. The neighborhood and character of most parishioners made passing the Operation off as the result of violence among addicts easy enough Unfortunately, retrieving the preacher’s remains proved impossible. Still, it is safe to say that the Threat has been dealt with, especially after two weeks were taken to identify every known attendee of the dangerous sermons in question. K-CELL can confidently report that every member of the cult has now been dealt with, and the Threat is eradicated. 

* * *

Alright, so. This is one of Mr. K’s jobs, though no clue if it’s from him or just through him. Someone shat the bed, and someone else wants things tidied up before it starts attracting flies. Maybe they have business close by they don’t want disrupted, maybe they figure they’re running out of luck and want to get some red out of the ledger before it’s time to read it, maybe it’s none of any of our fucking buisness. Options! Gossip when the work is done. 

There are some sick people wandering around out there, and they’re starting to spread it. I’ve spoken with Grandmother, and it’s already fucked and getting worse and worse. People, animals, buildings, hours of the day. No, no idea where from. Don’t think Mr. K knows either, but again, not your business. Some idiot somewhere pissed all over the floor and you lucky assholes are the ones mopping it up. There’s something like a dozen broken souls out there, loose ends full of rot that’s trying to latch on to something for support before it falls apart. 

Bad day for them, since falling apart is the only safe thing any of ‘em can do. Half of them are so badly off that it’s all they’re managing anyway, those you’re giving a bit of mercy. The rest would get stable if we let them - so be smart and double-tap them to be sure. Grandmother’s asked for any undamaged hands, eyes or tongues, but absolutely absolutely do not fucking get cute trying to keep those whole for the bonuses. 

This is a chance for all of you to prove your balls actually dropped at some point and get your name in front of Mr. K’s eyes - or at least to get me to actually remember who you are as something other than someone’s fuckup cousin. So don’t fuck up, yeah? Great. 

* * *

Good morning Brooke, 

Hope you’ve had a lovely holiday season!

I’m reaching out because I have a very exciting update from our talent scouting program. As you know, promising opportunities for the Andersoon Trust to support have been a bit thin on the ground after the shakeups early last year - so I’m incredibly happy to say that we’ve identified multiple prospects already this year! As you can imagine, we’re all overjoyed with how fast the changes that you recommended are bearing fruit. 

There are three live prospects at the moment - one here in California, one in Colorado, one international - but two of them are still in very early stages and might turn out to be false alarms (we’ve certainly had enough of those to get used to it). It’s the prospect in Denver that made me so excited to reach out - we’ve been working closely with them for more than two months now, and even if cultural fit and governance issues are concerns, I can say with absolute confidence that they are a real opportunity to achieve something amazing - to change the world. 

They were admittedly a bit of a leap of faith - but Josh is our best talent scout because he has such an intuition for these things. I’ve already made sure the paperwork is filled out in accordance with all legal requirements, so as long as it’s Gregory handling any audits or financial reviews there shouldn’t be any problems with having started to provide support before the proposals came in (or questions about the exact legal status of the entity we’re providing the grant to). 

Mr. Torres, the prospect in question, was in quite a state when Josh found him, totally incapable of interfacing with the rest of society. The level of trauma he’s survived is honestly horrifying - but just makes what he’s already achieved with our support so much more inspirational. Josh and Selena were able to get him to the point where he could move under his own power and get back into the same frame of reference as the rest of the city (and, once he was there, set him up with food, clothing, and a place to live). His memories and communication skills are both still very unstable, but from my understanding (second-hand only, of course) he was part of a new religious movement somewhere on the east coast that was destroyed by a real brutal targeted attack that occurred while he was presiding over a weekly meeting. Even he’s unclear on how he got from there to the Rockies. 

At the moment he’s focusing on his own recovery, and forcing himself to relieve those very difficult memories for more details or anything that could be used to check the status of his former comrades would be too dangerous for him. 

From what Selena has been able to say around patient-client confidentiality, that recovery hasn’t been easy, but Josh was entirely correct - Mr. Torres is already a lucid (and waking) dreamer on a level that conventional science considers impossible, and we have not come close to probing the limits of his abilities. 

* * *

The Agents of K-CELL are all seasoned veterans, with AGENT KHALID having taken part in six distinct operations across his career with XXXX. So it should be taken incredibly seriously that no Agent involved had ever seen a THREAT as obviously supernatural or dangerous to the sanctity of reality as a whole than what was encountered disrupting the ritual at the heart of ECHOING HYMNAL. 

The FOREIGN energies were blatant and impossible to dismiss, and caused permanent, obvious physical changes to the world without needing to work through some insane or possessed victim. The book the preacher read from was clearly the linchpin of the THREAT, with every word he spoke in an unknown and probably FOREIGN language causing noticeable physical damage to the preacher, and obvious changes to the world around them. When K-CELL intervened, the baptismal font had been filled with what seemed to be blood, and parishioners were pulling forearm-sized leeches from it to offer their own flesh to. As the cell attacked (thankfully equipped with light military small arms sourced via non-traditional methods), several of those leeches instead burrowed into the stomach cavity or rib cage of the parishioner holding them. The blood was then spilled across the floor and wasp-like insects flew out of it en mass. Individual agent reports become unclear and contradictory from that point, but it is clear things continued to escalate. It was only when Agent KEVIN used an unorthodox technique acquired from a FRIENDLY asset in a previous OPERATION and submerged the preacher into the baptismal blood (from which he struggled as if drowning before sinking and vanishing entirely) that the building stopped shifting and the air quality returned to normal. At which point dealing with the remaining parishioners who had not fled through the suddenly-unblocked door became simple. 

No member of K-CELL is clear on just what sort of FOREIGN THREAT was behind this, but it’s an obvious shift and escalation from the isolated, feral cultists and addicts touched by some FOREIGN corruption that have been the real physical menace behind every human-based THREAT the Cell has encountered before. That K-CELL went above and beyond in destroying the THREAT does not mean that this shouldn’t be taken seriously going forward. 

* * *

Mr. K wasn’t exactly talkative, but Grandmother says it’s a dream plague. Something’s got into them that’s too big for whatever’s left of their brains to hold, and now it's leaking out. Gets worse when they get worked up or scared, so the fact that half of them are just rushing to drink, smoke or shoot themselves into comas to deal with it is a blessing. Don’t fucking waste it.

What leaks out? Blood, sweat and piss, same as anyone else. 

No, fine, fuck you yes it was funny. But watch the poor fucks less than shadows, puddles and dark corners around them. Especially puddles. Stuff’ll start crawling, slithering and flying out of them. Most of it’s only real enough to scare the shit out of you, but she says some might dig in enough to bite. None of you are dumb enough to need a warning not to let the fucking things bite you? Great. 

If they’re wearing heavy clothing, something like snakes might be hiding in them, so don’t get close unless you’re very sure there’s nothing moving. Grab a facemask and put it on if there’s any kind of haze or smoke in the air. And - and I swear to fucking god I hope none of you idiots need to be told this either - do not keep or use anything that was actually on one of their bodies. Mr. K wants belongings for his friends if you can bag ‘em and bring ‘em without touching skin or staying around the corpse too long. He’d also pay a nice little bonus for any of those snakes or other creepy shit that manifests, if they stick around once the guy creating them is dead - but again, don’t get too greedy to live. If you can’t handle and store ‘em safely, there’s a funeral home run by a friend of ours whose cremator will be taking the bodies, it can take everything else on them too. 

This is shit work for shitheads, but that doesn’t mean you can fuck around on it. Some idiot already did, and Grandmother says whatever all these poor assholes were part of was shattered and all of them with it. Now instead of one giant weed burrowing through all their dreams it’s a hundred roots starting to rot in the soil. You can call putting them down your good deed for the year. 

* * *

Despite his traumatic experiences, and the significant help with physical, emotional and mental reconstruction he has required since, Mr. Torres still has a connection to something beautiful. A whole new paradigm, a vision of reality that’s so much more vital and vivid than the modern hegemonic ideal. It’s a perspective on history, on religion, and the basic facts of biology that seem entirely incompatible with our own - the goal of his religious practice on the East Coast was communal visualization and actualization, imagining ways that our world and this idea of alien potential could overlap and coexist with each other, and then doing what they could to make them real. 

I know you’re a busy woman and this is all very granular and in-the-weeds from your perspective. But I think this is a project with real potential - a vision of a world without veils, where people by the billions live in vital connection with both the life around them and the vastness of the universe around them. And, more importantly, a proven way to make it real. With the right nurturing, guidance and support, this could really work!

Unfortunately, the material Mr. Torres’ religious practices were based around were destroyed before he came to our attention. Combined with the trauma he’s still recovering from our window into his world is blurry and vague. It’s only now - and only with the Trust’s continuing funding and support - that he will be able to begin forming a new community in Boulder and exploring the possibilities offered by the new environment and local culture. 

I’d be happy to provide more information you might be interested in, and any concerns you have will be taken very seriously. But otherwise, we’ve set him up on his own feet, and Josh has set himself up as our point of contact and is already managing the grant application and funding process on his behalf. With any luck, Mr. Torres will be able to begin his transformative work in earnest by the end of Q3. 

We’re looking at the start of something great here, I know it.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

All the best,

Alexandra Collwood

Grant Manager, Anderson Heritage Trust 

[raayllum]

stop the episode is making me lose my mind ok

it will never not be funny to me the way rayllum has literally taken on a life of its own. like between aaron being like "we didn't want this they just made it happen somehow idk" and the writers being like "we don't even ship them they're teenagers" despite the fact that they are the ones writing them (or so you think) to be digustingly in love. i'm fully convinced that the spirit of rayllum has possessed the entire cast and crew and it's amazing

"he needs to be murdered, she needs to learn how to murder someone, they're perfect." HUHU HUH HUHA WHAT MR EHASZ SIR HUH REPEAT THAT WHAHT

terry arc + pure of heart trope??? consider me gagged

you mentioning ez/runaan conflict and aaron just being "THATS A VERY INTERESTING QUESTION 😈😈"

aaron ehasz fanboying over you???? as he should. as he should

Listen it was so fun and I've always wondered that about Rayllum for a Long time (like 4+ years) so getting to finally know (within reason, who knows about the story boarders / animators sneaking stuff in) is immensely satisfying.

Between "he needs to be murdered, she needs to learn how to murder someone" & "we'll see [Rayla's conflict between love & duty" manifest again" from another interview it's like. yeah dark magic + possession plot line in s7 let's goo

"True Heart" is super intriguing as an episode title since we've seen pure of heart be referenced (hi s3 Amaya) and I could see any of the trio having it, but I'm Pumped for the Terry focus and confirmation he's gonna have a bit more outright inner turmoil next season over his relationship to Claudia vs what he thinks is Right. Makes me nervous it's spell ingredient adjacent but maybe not (TDP loves its "hearts as ingredients/symbols" in particular after all, I wonder if we'll see why Laurelion got his heart stabbed/pierced)

And listen I was not prepared aah!! Aaron has always been gracious/appreciative over twitter and we'd talked a bit in DMs where he'd been very kind (stuff like character analysis from this video being "spot on") but I was of course floored and very flustered, it was incredibly kind and like getting to write/analyze stuff is its own reward, but knowing that my love/appreciation for the show is also seen and appreciated in turn is a very positive feedback loop that is very validating/affirming too of course! ("I was a little bit intimidated" will always live in my head rent free bc What The Fuck truly aaah from the bottom of my heart forever & ever)