#introspective sonic

[skimmingmilk]

That scene from Lilo & Stitch (2002) where Nani sings "Aloha 'oe" to Lilo the night before she thinks social services will take her away but it's Sonic staying with Tails till he falls asleep the night before the guardianship court hearing

Oh, absolutely. That scene has been on repeat in my mind for the past several days, my friend. I totally get it. Not sure if you've read it already, but I do have this bonus scene from that night (“I’ll stay until you fall asleep.”) that I wrote a little over a year ago for "Sometimes the Picket Fence isn't Perfect." But with Lilo and Stitch (2002) fresh in my mind and feeling so soft about that scene in particular, I decided to add onto that night a little bit as a writing warm-up. It's recommended to read that fic first for context if you haven't already, then come back here, but please enjoy 💙

For eleven years, Sonic didn’t have a family. 

He’d never been the right fit for anyone, never knew what it felt like to be part of something bigger than himself. His edges too uneven and colors too vibrant to simply press him into an empty space in a puzzle and watch him fade into a picture perfect family. On his own, he’d always been enough to paint the whole picture. What you see is what you get. Just Sonic the Hedgehog.

To think it took less than a year to turn his entire worldview on its head.

Despite telling Tails how important it was for them to get some sleep the night before their guardianship hearing, Sonic was still wide awake hours after the fox kit had finally drifted off. He said he’d stay until he fell asleep, but for once he couldn’t bring himself to move. By the dusty moonlight filtered through the open window, green eyes traced a path they’d long-since memorized across Tails’s shadowed face. Even in the dark, he could tell the creases of concentration and worry lines had been smoothed out by the peace of an unconscious mind, too busy recharging for the day ahead of him to be bothered with what-ifs or hypotheticals.

On normal nights, Sonic could relate.

This was anything but.

No matter what the court’s decision was in several hours, nothing would stop them from being family. He’d meant that. It hadn’t been an empty platitude to placate his best friend into going to bed; it was a fact. One he’d fight to the death to defend. 

Sonic the Hedgehog spent eleven years without his family. He wasn’t going to give it up because some stranger refused to sign a scrap of paper. Their imperfect pieces fit each other and the picture they painted together had been beyond anything Sonic ever could’ve imagined.

People always assumed Sonic saved Tails but, while that was true to some degree, it went both ways. Sure it was a lot of work having someone depend on him when he didn’t know the first thing about taking care of anybody but himself, and there’d been times where he wondered if he’d done the right thing by taking Tails with him in the first place. If it had been selfish to keep him. But when the coolest kid on the planet looked up at him and called him his big brother…

How was he supposed to say no to that?

Tails saw him from the very start. He got him on a level no one else had ever bothered to aim for. And he loved him anyway. He wanted him anyway.

Those two days where he’d disappeared, Sonic’s world had been thrown off its axis as a new doubt took root that he hadn’t let himself question since he made the decision to be Tails’s brother. Was he what Tails needed? Was he what Tails wanted? Was the picture they made together, the one Sonic thought was perfect in all their imperfections, what Tails envisioned for his life?

Or did he want something… more?

Something Sonic couldn’t give him.

A mom. A dad. A picket fence. He couldn’t imagine what else. Not when he’d give the kid anything—everything.

…Including give him up, if that was what he really wanted.

But it wasn’t. He didn’t. And Sonic should’ve known, should’ve trusted, that Tails wanted their little, funny-shaped family just as much. That he’d been just as scared of losing it all.

“Will you stay forever?”

“Sonic?” Tails’s sleepy voice slurred his name, cutting through the thoughts clouding his mind. “How come you’re still up?”

Sonic’s smile came easy in the dark. “Guess my mind decided now was as good a time as any for a race or two,” he chuckled. 

“Mm? Thinking hard ‘bout something?”

“Nah. Don’t worry about it, keed. Go back to sleep.”

Brow creasing, Tails squinted at him, trying to make out his features through a half-lidded haze. “…You stayed.”

“Said I would, didn’t I?”

Tails continued to observe him despite the urge to sleep weighing heavy in his eyes. He was searching for something in his response, something Sonic thought he’d tucked well-enough out of sight.

“M’not going anywhere either.”

“Huh?”

Tails sighed gustily and tugged on the part of his blanket still beneath Sonic until he got the picture. He’d never bothered to get under the covers, content to lay atop them while his thoughts gave his feet a run for their money, so he sat up and shifted to the edge of the mattress. He hadn’t been cold, though now that it had been brought to his attention, he could acknowledge the light sea breeze blowing in through the open window making his skin prickle beneath his quills. Tails threw the blanket back and patted the indent he’d left behind, still warm from where he’d been lying.

Sonic settled into his spot beside Tails, tucking himself under the blanket. Tails gave him a moment to get comfortable again before he squirmed over to him, a warm, soft bundle of fur that nestled against his side. It was Tails’s turn to toss an arm and a tail across Sonic, their weight a surprising comfort and not just because he was a little cold.

“Not goin’ anywhere,” Tails repeated, eyes closed as his voice faded into a mumble. “S’okay, you can sleep, too.”

A lump formed in Sonic’s throat, his eyes boring holes into the ceiling as he stared up at it. He could fully understand Tails’s desire to flee to the wilderness to sleep beneath the stars again. To see the sky and the moon and the shadowy tops of trees instead of solid walls closing in on him on all sides.

Tails’s paw gently kneaded against his chest.

“If this doesn’t work,” Sonic croaked, his voice barely a whisper, “I’m sorry.”

They wouldn’t let themselves be separated, they wouldn’t allow it, but the life they’d have to lead… a life on the run, hidden away from society where they could never be found, and cut off from the friendships and supports they were just starting to build here… Tails didn’t deserve that. It wasn’t what was best for him.

Tails deserved a life that was full and bright. A life where he could shine to his fullest potential. A life that wasn’t built on fear and mistrust of everyone around them.

That was why he started all this in the first place. So Tails wouldn’t have to worry or wonder or want things that he couldn’t have. What he thought he didn’t deserve to have.

“M’not,” Tails murmured. “You tried. That’s what matters.”

“I could’ve done it different,” Sonic argued. “I could’ve done better. More. I should’ve told you—”

“You did it your way.” His voice cracked on a yawn before he nuzzled his cheek against Sonic’s shoulder. “Might not’ve been perfect, but that’s okay. S’what you always tell me, right?”

Sonic released a shaky exhale and some of the pressure in his chest eased up, even with the weight of Tails’s arm still holding onto him. “Think the stakes are a bit higher here than usual, keed.”

“Higher than beating ‘Buttnik and saving the world?”

“A bajillion times higher. I can beat ‘Buttnik with my eyes closed,” Sonic huffed. “But dealing with people who decide things like who gets to have a family and who doesn’t… never been too good at that. Never been too good at listening or following instructions or doing what I’m told…”

“No one tells Sonic the Hedgehog what to do,” Tails parroted, too tired to give it the “oomph” it usually carried, but the conviction was still there. “But you still do your best when it matters.”

“What if that’s not good enough this time?” Sonic whispered.

“Mm-mm-mm,” Tails hummed with a sleepy shrug. “But I’ll love you anyway.”

Sonic dragged his stare from the ceiling to look down at the mop of orange fluff snuggled against him. It wasn’t a shock, not when it was something they knew even if the words mostly went unspoken, but hearing it was still something else entirely. A bright splotch of color in the picture of their family. 

Sonic looped his arm around Tails, keeping him where he was, where he belonged. Right by his side. “I love you, too. No matter what. You know that, right?”

“Mm…”

“Tails?”

“Mmhm…”

An airy chuckle escaped him, gently jostling the two of them as Sonic’s smile returned, hopelessly fond. “Thanks for the pep talk, little bro. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

And he never wanted to find out. Now that he knew what it was like to belong to a family, to matter so much to someone, and to realize they mattered, too, Sonic couldn’t see life without it. He didn’t want to.

Maybe it was selfish to take Tails away if the verdict wasn’t in their favor. Maybe it had been selfish to take him from the start. But if being selfish meant Tails knew he was wanted and loved and important to someone… then it would be worth it. If they had to run away, Sonic would find other ways to give Tails the life he deserved. Together, they could do anything. They were a team. A family.

And nothing would ever break them apart.

[thatshadowcomic]

I hope this is meaningful for someone other than just myself.

View them as brothers, friends/rivals or lovers it doesnt change that Shadow has a deep respect and admiration for Sonic.

Sonic is what shadow was meant to be: a hero.

Shadow failed to be that when he needed to, and that haunts him. He feels like a fake, a failure. Sonic reminded him that you still be a hero, even if it's just for yourself. You can come back from failure and find people for you.

If you let one failure determine your fate, "you'll never find your way". Be the hero you need, as cringe as it sounds.

In a way, sonic is who shadow aims to be one day.

[sage-nebula]

Anyone who has followed me for any length of time knows that my favorite animated Sonic show is easily Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. This is not only because of nostalgia (though that does play a part), or because of the heavy focus on Sonic & Tails and the delightful goon squad they face (though those two things also play a part), but because I think that there are very interesting concepts in the show if you choose to dig deeper than it asks (or even expects) you to, and I love crunching on them.

Now, there are multiple concepts like this that I could talk about. One which I've brought up before is how AoStH is one of the few adaptations to really point out the realities of Sonic and Tails being homeless children, such as an episode where Sonic mentions that they've missed meals over the past few days. Another is how the healthy brotherly relationship of Sonic & Tails is directly foiled against the toxic brotherly relationship of Scratch, Grounder, & occasionally Coconuts (along with Robotnik being the latter three's abusive father). Digging into the foils and parallels between them all says interesting things about their characters.

But the reason I decided to open up this window and make this post is because I was just thinking about my favorite episode of the show, "High Stakes Sonic." I'm sure there are many who would think that my favorite episode would be "Tails' New Home" or one similarly focused more strongly on Sonic & Tails as brothers, but nope, it's "High Stakes Sonic." And this is my favorite episode because of the fascinating thing it says about Sonic's character, at least in this adaptation.

So, for those who don't know, "High Stakes Sonic" is how AoStH adapted the Casino Night Zone level into the show. The basic summary is that Robotnik owns Casino Night Zone, and is using it to drive mobian citizens into gambling-debt induced slavery so they build a monument to him (that looks like a sphinx, albeit of his face). Sonic and Tails find out about this, and decide to save the mobians from their fate by beating the rigged casino. As a result, Robotnik has the operator of his casino (a literal shark, representing either a card or loan shark) kidnap Tails in order to force Sonic to participate in a rigged bet: he has to race Grounder, with the mobians voting on who they think will win. When they obviously vote for Sonic, he'll throw the race and lose on purpose, selling them into slavery. And if he doesn't do this, then Tails -- being held in a location unknown to Sonic -- will be killed. (They don't outright use the word "killed," but that's the implication.)

Now, obviously, the episode ends with Sonic figuring out partway through the race where Tails is being held, rescuing him, and then rushing back to win the race to save the mobians. (Who Robotnik captures into slavery anyway, because obviously, so Sonic then has to go and save them for real.) But the happy ending of the episode isn't what has held my fascination for over a decade now. No, Sonic's reaction to the bet is what has held my fascination.

Because here's the thing: he agrees to the terms.

He's not happy about it, obviously. He's downright furious when he learns that Robotnik's henchman has kidnapped Tails and is holding him in some secondary location, and he gives a thinly veiled death threat of his own to said henchman if even a hair is harmed on Tails' head. But he still agrees to it. He agrees to purposely throw a race, knowing that doing so will consign hundreds of people into slavery, all so that he can save Tails. And again, he's not happy about it -- he's furious when he first learns, and he has slumped shoulders and a despaired look when the mobians ask him why he's not even trying to win the race when it kicks off and he has to walk the track. But he still agrees with it. He still goes along with it.

And I think this is fascinating, because it's a level of selfishness that often isn't shown in heroes like Sonic. Sure, we know that Sonic has a "my own way no matter what" attitude, and this is a demonstration of that, in that he's doing what he wants even if it wouldn't be seen as the morally right thing to do (given that he's sacrificing hundreds for the sake of one, even if that one is a child even younger than he is). But in most cases (in the games or other adaptations), Sonic deciding to do his own thing is usually for the benefit of others, and doesn't really harm people who aren't villains, at least not directly and certainly not in large groups. For instance, in the recent Riders arc in the IDW Comics, Sonic agreed to align with Eggman and become the Phantom Rider to disrupt the races so that he could figure out what was going on with Clean Sweep Inc. and how he and his friends had their gear sabotaged. But he didn't attack anyone, he risked his cover to save those he could when they did fall into danger, and he was trying to stop the villains. He did what he wanted regardless of what others would think of him, but his actions were still, overall, altruistic.

But in "High Stakes Sonic," that really isn't the case. Yes, he is doing this to save Tails' life; but not only is he sacrificing a hundred people to do so, but he's doing it not for Tails' sake, really, but for his own. Yes, Tails would die, and in the moment of death that would suck for Tails. But Sonic is the one who would be left behind. Sonic is the one who would lose the only family he has, his little brother and best friend, all in one fell swoop. And Sonic would rather sacrifice a hundred people to slavery than experience that.

One could argue that Sonic planned to rescue them later, when Tails was safe. And you know, he probably would. But he was still wracked with guilt in the moment. Because even if he rescued them later, he's still selling them into slavery and misery now. This is still a choice that he is making, to put his own needs and wants (having his little brother back) over the needs of these innocent people. (And they are innocent, because gambling is an addiction and they are being exploited.) And it's not like he makes this choice impulsively; he makes it over and over again as he goes through with throwing the race, even as they ask him why he's doing it with fear and despair in their own voices. He makes his decision and sticks to it, and only changes course when Grounder lets slip where Tails is being held.

And what does that tell us? That tells us that he would make the same choice again. Because even when he is faced with the direct consequences of making this choice (the mobians asking him why he's doing this to them), unable to distance himself from them at all, he sticks to it. It tears him apart, wracks him with guilt, but he does it anyway. And if he does it anyway, even when he is unable to avoid or pretend those consequences don't exist, that makes he would do it again, and again, and again.

There is a game known as Tales of Xillia 2 that had the tagline (paraphrased), "Will you sacrifice the world for the sake of a girl?" And setting aside the fact that Tails is a boy (except in -- I think it was the Latin America dub of AoStH that made him a girl), that's the question that is asked of Sonic in "High Stakes Sonic." And the answer is yes. Yes, Sonic -- in Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, at least -- would sacrifice the world to save Tails. It would leave him guilt-ridden, but he would still do it, because to him the alternative is still worse.

One could argue that Sonic wasn't presented with the choice of Tails vs. the whole entire world. But I think that a hundred or so innocent lives is enough to get the point across. AoStH!Sonic, if faced with the trolley problem where Tails is on one track and five innocent mobians are on the other -- if he was faced with that, and there was no possible way for him to save all six, would choose to put the trolley on the track with the five mobians. He wouldn't be happy about it, it would eat him alive for the rest of his life, but he would do it. He would still do it.

And I think that this is just a fascinating trait for a heroic main character to have, especially in media for children. What does it tell us about Sonic's past, that he's this desperate to keep his one family and best friend alive and safe at all costs? (Literally, all costs.) What does it tell us about him, as a person, that yes he devotes his life to fighting Robotnik and yes he wants to save as many people as possible (and usually that's everyone), but he's willing to let them all burn if the cost is Tails? And what does it say that we're never shown if Tails ever learns of this, if Tails was ever made aware of the fact that Sonic was purposefully throwing the race to sacrifice the other mobians, all so that Tails himself would be safe? If we're never given any indication that Sonic told Tails about any of it? (Possibly because that would mean admitting it out loud, and Sonic can't deal with that part of himself, and would rather just leave it in the past where he feels it belongs?)

It's so crunchy, especially for a show that leans so heavily on the slapstick comedy, that doesn't ask nor expect you to take it seriously and dig deeper into it. Generally, it isn't that deep, but sometimes it is, or it can be. And this episode, and what it said about Sonic's character, is one that I've always come back to for that reason.

[vilevenom]

Ugh...I can't stop thinking about movie!Shadow

Sonic 3 spoilers under the read more.

I really can't stop thinking about the fact that losing Maria made Shadow full on suicidal. Not vengeful and angry, like game Shadow. Suicidal.

He knew full well, from the start, that Gerald's plan was to destroy the earth, and kill them both along with it. He didn't care who was used or hurt along the way to reach this goal (at least, not until he witnessed Sonic's distress over Tom, and it occurred to him that he was causing others to feel the same grief he was feeling. I think that hit him in a way he wasn't expecting), highlighted by him witnessing Gerald using Ivo and not saying a word, even though he also knew Ivo was Gerald's other grandchild.

His insistence at Sonic to end him on the moon really solidified that, because he knew it didn't matter in the end. Either Sonic killed him, or the Eclipse Canon would.

When he lost Maria, the only being to have ever showed him kindness (I'm not going to count Gerald because they got no on screen time together before Maria's death), he lost his will to live along with any spark of hope he had to find another living being who he could connect with.

I like to think that speaking with Sonic, and reflecting on his feelings of regret for hurting Tom, made him realize that perhaps he could find someone who knew and understood his pain. Someone he could connect with and would show him the modicum of kindness he needed to keep living.

And then when Ivo revealed that even though they stopped the canon, it wouldn't matter in the end, because earth would still be doomed...I don't think he was suicidal anymore. I think he wanted to try to live, but giving everyone else the chance to move on and be happy became the bigger priority. He wanted others to have the life Maria didn't get to experience.

I like movie Shadow, because he's a very different take on how grief can affect someone. He's angry at the world, but he turned that angry towards himself and became self destructive. In that vein, I really hope that in the fourth movie, he finds someone who is kind to him. I hope he gets a guardian who will see him for the hurting, broken child he is, and try to show him all the good in the world that he didn't get to see while trapped in a hidden mountain facility.

I love the hurt/amnesic Shadow trope, but I really want to see him get to be happy in the fourth movie, while helping Team Sonic save the world again.

Ahhhhhh, yeah. Sorry for the nonsense ramble.

I'm hoping to write a nice Stone adopting Shadow fic while I've got a few days off for the holidays. We'll see.

[sleepiestoken]

as much as i appreciate the articles and takes defending st and discussing the gatekeeping mentality of metal.. i don’t think you can have any meaningful discussion on what is actually going on without addressing the very obvious misogyny and hatred for anything that women and girls enjoy. you just can’t

[askthehedgehogs]

So, y’all are gay, huh? 🏳️‍🌈🦔 If it’s not too personal, do you two have specific queer labels you identify with?

Ehhh. Not super into labels. I’m just Sonic the Hedgehog, y’know?

I don’t know. I only have a gender out of convenience. And I’ve only ever liked one person romantically, so…

Same!

[wereh0gz]

Have a surprising amount of thoughts on this year's annual

Kinda love how surge and kit's "redemption arc" isn't going down the path of true redemption (yet) but is instead having them want to be heroes for entirely selfish reasons and double down on wanting to kill sonic and tails. They're still not realizing their issues and in fact seem to be getting WORSE now. The writers could've easily gone with them starting to be good for real at this point (though it would've felt kinda rushed imo) but instead they're making it clear that surge and kit still have a long way to go and I really appreciate that

Knuckles' story is genuinely so sweet. Like I think ppl often interpret him as having some level of resentment towards his duty as guardian of the master emerald (I did at some point) but the way he sees it as being part of the reason he met all his friends and went on all of his adventures is so nice. Also sonic and knuckles interactions <3

And mimic. Idk if I can properly put into words what I think abt his story other than it's intriguing. A look into his psyche was not something I was expecting but it's incredibly cool. Also seeing the old diamond cutters while they were still alive, seeing them be silly and having fun and whisper especially be so happy kinda hurts after everything mimic did. It's just. Augh....

Also. Anyone else find it kinda weird that the first two stories take place after issues that haven't come out yet? Like they don't outright spoil much of anything but I don't think they've done that before? It's an interesting way to tell the stories considering now they won't be able to place the whole annual with one specific saga unlike the other annuals and mini series. Idk how to feel abt that as a writing decision too like maybe these stories could've been saved for later? Idk anyways comic good

[big-robot-fan]

Neo metal and metal sonic 2.0 fighting who gets to be on sonic's lap

Eggman seeing Metal 2.0 try to join Sonic and Neo's kinky relationship AGAIN (Back to the reprogramming room)

[the-city-kitty]

Kinda thought Sonic would be able to keep a lid on the whole phantom rider thing for more than one issue but alright I guess

[badnikbreaker]

part of whats hard about writing sonic for me is that my writing style favors of lot of internal dialogue and internal Stuff and sonic simply does not have an inner life

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

What if I was insane again about the first thing Alpha Grim Sonic hearing when Nine creates him is his purpose—that he is Nine's friend?

Friendship as a concept in Prime is handled interestingly among its main characters. As Sonic (who thinks he knows a lot about friendship) comes to deepen his understanding of what it means to have a home/be home, I think it's safe to say his definition of friendship develops along with it. Compare this to Nine, who's learned everything he knows about "friendship" and personal relationships in general through his relationship with Sonic (at least, after his childhood of bullying).

So of course I think about Nine, who never wants to be hurt again, yet can no longer bear feeling alone (not after feeling that sense of companionship and belonging with someone else), which results in him creating a warped version of friendship for himself (one where he is surrounded by people, but people who only do whatever he wants, who have no opinions and thoughts of their own, who can't backstab him). And so I think about Alpha Grim Sonic, who is the very first robot Nine creates under this idea of frienship and companionship.

Nine is his master, and Alpha Grim Sonic is his protector, his bodyguard, his weapon

But he's also his friend.

Alpha Grim Sonic doesn’t talk back (can't even if he wanted to), but his purpose has always been clear to him: be Nine's friend. That's what he was created to be.

So I imagine Alpha Grim Sonic performing his purpose to the T at first under Nine's framework. He's Nine's friend, so he does whatever Nine commands, he never talks back or challenges authority, he protects Nine at all cost. And then, perhaps unbeknownst to Nine, he begins to shift ever so gradually. Sure, he's never insubordinate, he never offers up opinions, he still can't speak, but the lines of devotion begin to blur.

Is it in his code? Is out of a real sense of feeling?

Alpha Grim Sonic does not understand friendship, no matter whether it believes it does or not. But it's ironic to me if, despite being created under Nine's warped idea of it, the robot slowly grows their own soul, witnesses other displays of frienship and care, and drifts outside the bounds of that idea (a carefully crafted painting begins to leak out of its frame, expanding the masterpiece). They protect Nine, they do only what he commands, and yet they hate to see Nine in pain, they wish to bring Nine comfort (and so it feels good to him when Nine commands him to do such things that might bring his master comfort).

Does this make any sense? To believe that friendship means to hold one person on a pedestal, to protect them, to only listen to them, to never talk back, to never have opinions, and yet, despite believing what your creator tells you of friendship with them (your very purpose in this existence), to slowly fall further into those feelings that true care and love for another person brings, to wish to comfort someone the way one might describe a true friend would, despite not realizing any of this.

[appendingfic]

Some trans girl with magenta hair and piercings asks Shadow for his pronouns in a NYC bodega and he has a breakdown next to the cereal aisle.

[metadow-propaganda-machine]

he used to be so actually wet looking im crying. pre-powers silver is like some kind of shaved animal to me

[shadowman-jaxson]

Dive into a personal playlist of mine, 'In Darkness, I Wander', where each song is a beacon in the night, guiding you through the introspective alleys of thought and emotion. It's a playlist that celebrates the duality of our journeys, where every note resonates with the part of us that seeks the light in the shadow.

[dimmat-music]

🌌 DIMMAT – Inner Realms (The Full Album Collection) 5 albums, 46 tracks — a decade of ambient and cinematic exploration. A sonic journey blending cinematic textures, deep downtempo, and progressive chillout atmospheres. Immerse yourself in evolving soundscapes designed for introspection and space.

For those who seek music beyond the ordinary.