#ipv tw

[alexturner]

BARRY 3.04 "all the sauces"

[anlian-aishang]

Hi yeah uh. Yesterday was the worst day of my life.

My mom threw dishes at my dad. Broken glass everywhere. Had an anxiety attack. Checked herself into the ER. When I visited her and asked her, "But what if you hit him next time?" She said, "Good for me then. He deserves it."

Yeah, so level 200 fucked up. And - my younger brother, a minor, was there to see all of this.

I'm truly shouting to the void. I don't know what I'm hoping for with this post. I guess, just know, that I'll be here sporadically as I try to grapple.

Love,

Anlian

[queerbauten]

One time, a Nixa shipper told me they thought Erin Bargeld might have once physically assaulted Blixa. They had absolutely no real evidence for it; it was just a "theory" they had.

They wanted to codify their ship by falsely and baselessly accusing someone of intimate partner violence.

Anyway, when I say some of y'all have a problem with misogyny and racism, this is, like, the apex of what I mean.

[angelsaxis]

The leading cause of death for a woman in the US is homicide.

[babyjakes]

most nights,

(tw: ipv/dv, sa)

i still find myself thinking back about what you did. usually as i’m falling asleep in the very bed where it happened. and many times i wake up disoriented and confused, thinking i’ll be right back there on the bathroom floor where i woke up after you’d done it.

how do you sleep soundly at night?

[butchniqabi]

while talking about reproductive rights in the US i feel its worth noting that in this country the leading cause of death of people who are pregnant or post-partum isnt a medical complication but homicide, usually caused by an intimate partner. and black people especially have higher risks of homicide during their pregnancy and higher risks of death during labor than their nonblack counterparts. reproductive justice is so vital and the lack of protections for pregnant people (both who wish to terminate their pregnancy or bring it to term) is state violence in action

[quinnfabrayapologist]

I've had anon available on my ask box since I made this blog, the better part of a decade ago. I felt it was important to allow anonymity so my followers could talk to me if they needed, and it kept things nice and fun and low stakes. Today I made a post talking about my concerns after it was announced that a domestic violence shelter would not allow trans women to enter. Since I made the post, 10 hours ago, I have been threatened, harassed, and doxxed. As I have spoken about several times now, I am a rape/abuse/IPV survivor, so to receive asks telling me I deserve to be raped is horrific. I will be keeping anon off for the foreseeable future, because I am not taking the post down. I do not believe I said anything wrong. I do believe that I don't deserve to be threatened for speaking my truth, as an abuse survivor. Once TERFs play nice, I'll put anon back on. I'm sure they'll continue to insist that they're sticking up for women and survivors, though.

[nerdyqueerandjewish]

I’ve been avoiding anything related to the Depp/Heard case but I already knew about the background info and seeing how it turned out is very 🙃

Also a few of my extended family members has been on fb being like “Johnny I’ll be a good girlfriend for you 🥰 I’ll treat you right 🥰🥰” 🥴 like I know you’ve had a crush on him for 30 years but is it that hard to believe that a rich and famous actor turned out to be a creep and abuser

Anyway it just feels weird especially as someone who has been a mentally ill bisexual woman in abusive relationships. Especially since the last one I was in my mental illness was used to gaslight me because I was told I was too mentally ill to understand what was and wasn’t abusive

[ascendent]

“Afterward—when she will not stop trying to talk to you or emailing you with flowery apologies on Yom Kippur, and when people do not believe what you tell them about her and the Dream House—you'll wish she had hit you. Hit you hard enough that you'd have bruised in grotesque and obvious ways, hard enough that you took photos, hard enough that you went to the cops, hard enough that you could have gotten the restraining order you wanted. Hard enough that the common sense that evaded you for the entirety of your time in the Dream House had been knocked into you. You have this fantasy, this fucked-up fantasy, of being able to whip out your phone and pull up some awful photo of yourself, looking glazed and disinterested and half your face is covered in a pulsing star. This is, as you said fucked up: there are probably millions of people on the blunt end of a lover's fist who pray for the opposite, daily or even hourly, and to put that sort of wish into the universe is demented in the extreme.

You will wish for it anyway. Clarity is an intoxicating drug, and you spent almost two years without it, believing you were losing your mind, believing you were the monster, and you want something black and white more than you've ever wanted anything in this world.”

— Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

[sapphobystarlight]

I don’t have anything smart to say that hasn’t already been said

but my heart fucking breaks for Amber Heard

I just have no words

[bitchmael]

like. this is not the point obviously but amber heard has pictures of her baby up on insta and. i cannot stop thinking about that little baby growing up and googling their mum and seeing video after video of their mother sobbing while recounting her physical and sexual abuse, with a laugh track over it. it's bad enough to know what happened to your loved ones without...that.

[queerbauten]

That recent copypasta about the treatment of Anne Boleyn’s corpse has been rubbing me the wrong way, and I was only this morning able to articulate why:

People are acting like the potential indignities against Anne’s body are completely unimaginable, which is an insult to Henry VIII’s other victims (of all genders)… especially Katheryn Howard.

We know full well what could have been done to Anne’s body. If you’re going to pretend to care about historical women, go the extra mile and, you know… actually care.

[butch-reidentified]

well my wife & I had literally just arrived downtown, were still walking down the sidewalk to the bar, when we run into this guy on the corner interacting aggressively with a very anxious-looking woman trying to lock a shop door and two young boys. my wife instantly steps in and firmly asks the man to step back a bit while I check in with the woman. he's obviously drunk and belligerent, and starts shouting at us. "I'm just talking to my son, I'm not allowed to talk to my son?"

she explains very straightforwardly that this is her restaurant she owns, and he's her abusive ex who's always hanging around her restaurant and trying to manipulate the kids by talking shit about her and giving her diabetic son candy. she tells us that the local police and "everyone" knows about this situation, that's she's tried twice to get a restraining order, he's stolen from her and her restaurant multiple times, etc.

he asks my wife and me with disgust if we're "girlfriends or something," to which I respond that it's absolutely none of his business. he asks us why we're in his business, then. She tells us he slapped her a few minutes prior, because of what she was wearing. He says it isn't fair that he "never got to see her like that" while they were dating because he "was always working in her restaurant." I ask him who the fuck told him seeing her ~like that~ was his right.

we ask her if she wants us to walk her to her car/home, and she says she lives a couple blocks away and that would be really good. as we walk away, he tells her "spirits" are going to come and get her tonight. so we walk with her and the kids, let her vent about him and everything she's tried to do to stop this without anything changing, how the police don't care and how they believed him that HER home and restaurant were his because he's a white man and she's a black woman, and they interrogated her while asking him nothing.

On the walk, he walks up behind us to a bit ahead of us to where the older boy is on his bicycle, and starts talking to the older boy again, but not before shouting to us that "men should be with women." She refuses to engage, and we follow her lead. I ask her some questions to get a feel for what she might have or need. We give her our phone numbers and a short spiel about available community resources and the importance of women looking out for other women. I tell her I can connect her with those resources and am happy to arrange help for her to complete the restraining order process, as the barriers preventing her previously have been things like being unable to arrange for childcare so she can go to court. She asks if she can give us hugs, and we say of course.

We stay while she and her piece of shit ex verbally battle for control of the older son. She's asking him to come up to their apartment. We can't hear what he's saying to the kid, but he keeps shifting position to block her from making eye contact with her son. She tells us he is teaching the kid to view and treat women like he does. She tells us the kid needs counseling and is struggling with depression.

We stay until the older son gets his father's permission to go upstairs with her. He approaches us on the corner as we wait to be able to cross, and asks us again about our relationship to each other. We tell him again it isn't his business. He asks why we get to ask for all of his information, then. My wife points out that we didn't even ask his name.

for several long and irritating minutes, he stands a foot away from us running his mouth while we wait to be able to cross. at a couple points, he borders on threatening, but never crosses the line. I keep my hand on my gun in my pocket regardless. I tell him I heard what he said about "spirits" and if anything happens to her tonight (or at all), we'll know who did it. he tells me I'm funny. my wife has already made a phone call, and we have three people on the way from our friend's bar (which is 1 store over from her restaurant). he hears her phone call and tells us that's a bad idea. I ask him if that's a threat. he stays silent as the light finally turns and we begin to cross.

he doesn't follow.

on the way home, we pass three separate police cars, and my blood is boiling hotter each time.

I really hope she's safe tonight. I really hope she reaches out and lets us help.

tonight was a stark reminder that all of our communities are rife with abusive men and abused women, all the time, and nobody is looking out for these women. know your community's needs and resources. any day or night could be the time you stumble across one of these situations. you'll be grateful you have that knowledge to share when you do.

[babyjakes]

tw: abuse

our couples therapist: he sexually and emotionally abuses you. he also doesn’t show any remorse or capacity for empathy. i suspect he could have npd

his therapist: yep all sounds like sexual and emotional abuse during our sessions too

him at the end: actually,, YOU’RE the problem. YOU manipulate and control ME. and PROVOKE ME to act that way. and don’t respect MY boundaries when i don’t want to talk about the things i did to you. and IM scared of YOU because YOU always ACCUSE me of stuff

my brain for whatever fucking reason: wait a minute he might be right

[shitswiftiessay]

Taylor Swift’s boyfriend, Travis Kelce, says his friend + former teammate Tyreek Hill deserves “nothing but love.” Tyreek Hill is an abuser who attacked his pregnant girlfriend.

Yeah, you fucking heard that right. The boyfriend of Taylor Swift is friends with a domestic abuser and thinks he deserves “nothing but love.”

In 2014, Travis Kelce’s bestie, Tyreek Hill, was dismissed from Oklahoma State after he was arrested for choking his pregnant girlfriend and punching her in the stomach.

Despite committing such a heinous crime, the NFL drafted him in 2016, proving once again that they don’t give a SHIT about violence against women.

In 2019, Tyreek Hill was recorded THREATENING his fiancée and had apparently abused his child as well.

In addition, he was also accused of breaking another woman’s leg last year.

Hill has received no consequences for his actions, no jail time, not even a single game suspension.

Will the self-proclaimed feminist @taylorswift dump her boyfriend for being friends with an abuser, or was she only a “feminist” for a few eras to sell albums? Unfortunately, I think we all know the answer to that one.

[luxurybrownbarbie]

Domestic violence is really just… a piece of womanhood, isn’t it?