#is being a racist piece of shit abt it . like . i find it a bit distasteful. no ? like racism can and should be shown in media

[angeltism]

god i fucking hate spa.rkle sm . most shit i'm seeing says she's being racist against roman.ians , but . . . considering roman.ians are . white europeans ? and i haven't heard of much oppression towards roman.ians . I kinda doubt it ?? but you know what people whose oppression i've heard plenty of in roman.ia and who sound similar enough they constantly get confused with each other ? roma . who were enslaved for fucking centuries and to this day still face horrendous oppression in roman.ia . is she . is she fucking racist towards the h.sr version of part of my heritage . hoyo can i kick her can i please kick and punch her please please please pleaaaase pl

[greensaplinggrace]

honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can���t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

[pndnj]

Cathartic- Yellow Metal Lyrics

Heres where I am with the lyrics, I referenced @25Goldenn on twitter for some of it that I couldn’t comprehend. 

*music*

0:23

Dark matter, like painted splatters, they fit better, the old saying, the way it goes, better the devil you do then you don’t know. I hit pedals and switch levers, my heart metal, I can't settle, im part trouble, they are not subtle. I fuck good so fuck cuddles, burst bubbles the thrist levels at new heights, i down doubles, and got baked til I felt high, my face puzzled, felt muddled, far strung and your floors woodent, the thought might but the fit wouldn’t. A fortnight

0:46 - 1:00

And I thought right, it’s all bark and no bite, I’m Tony Stark still embarking on a dream, took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I saw. Heartless on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings, so I put them in a piece on my chest , at peace no rest.

1:00-1:15

Flipped this on it’s head. Rip the script up now, flip it don’t pretend, slipping shit again, Fakers all around me, I’ve been living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. There’s no need, these mean comments control the scenes. Attentionseekers, the spine is weakened

1:15-1:24

This family needs, what a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving til we ascend so fuck the fence, and until they stop killing colour it’s fuck the feds.

1:22 - 1:44

You must be off it, I mean it, you know you ain’t never get with the judging and I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged, but it's really long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the limits, They’re feeling timid, I’m telling them who they mimic, why they don't look like a clinic …. Why they don't get no women, Still, we’re just fucking girls, Lost in the wrong world, Jurassic, now to this vermin

1:41-  1: 50

Kicking the game I’m serving, these losers are never learning, my fire is forever burning, adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you, These locals that rob us feeling … was for a reason.

1:52-2:02

I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch out this loser’s winning, and no water is too deep to swim in Like I’m about to see a killing, I’m all the way that and living, flawless and feeling lawless, the prison now to the gimmicks, my vision is set to something,

2:03-:2:20

I’m watching you bitches plummet, no matches here for my cunning, you rappers are feeling done in, switching your genre, running and Running your jaw, stunting, pulling at straws, something  I think you’re a poor effort, deaf and tone deaf and I ain’t treat you separate. Living, I’m in my element, riding it like a … never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl. Keeping it green in general

2:20- 2:46

Think that you remain irrelevant. Look at yourself with reverence, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts, killing themselves with sedatives. In comparison to eminem, you’re feeling feminine. Impolitically correct, still dropping on my dick. And I never gave a fuck about what they say abt my shit, I’ve been moving things in my mind like it’s this mountain dew Memories have made me wonder if one day I’m after you. What’s the purpose that you do, is what you're hoping that they learn, i’d like to say i’m done but it’s getting up on my nerves

2:46 -2:55

I’m looking at my life, saying what do I deserve. It’s hard to say I know when I’m walking through the dirt. Talking while you’re nothing I can see for what it’s worth. I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough but nothing works.

2:55-3:40

I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work. Chit chatting is the usual, talking to this clerk, i beg you don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt so everytime they see me, the oldest know to swerve. SWERVE Life is potent, bits of fucked shit… till they took notice weren’t  no hocus pocus, it was hard work that got me heard so i put in the graph like google maps but the whole earth

… around my door mat, taking over like the drones, rolling dirt up in miles like the water, and exploding like Annas hematoma. Don't need to see a slammer to know that I don't want to go man

I’m a showman. I’m just focused on the drama… like i’ve got my own insurance, show myself the pain, like i boxed it in the frame, if we’re about to talk greatness im great, the way you have to say my name like beyonce

“Say my name”

4:00-4:46

Just a bum with a cigarette, sun coming up, all my thoughts on the internet. Feeling deep, I’m just bored with the silhouette single sec,  get fucked up for the thrill of it . killer streak playing Pacman. Like I came from the Philippines vanilla bean still a thing for the thrill of scene,

Theres a beam, UFO, Leave it well alone  I aint moving, stood still on the peloton, telephone and its always on the dial tone,  it's been a while since i’ve smiled at a milestone, seen a big pile in my mind stone, me against the world on my Jack Jones, Like I’m John Jones, With pictures in the condo, far from John Doe, in the ___, like I'm Johnny Bravo, got pravado, with a small dick sitting in golados, feeling far gone, cuz that last hit was the good shit, was that stay lit

4:48-5:02

You can never take my shit come and get me. On the top floor,  cloud 9, fading, never bailing, felt amazing, inhaling, til my lungs two guns blazing. Overcome all the stunts that I pulled. A suit of just skin and then wool

5:02- 5:17

This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm ya. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here till they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80, and start moving like a ruler, ?damaged? Like a computer going fast, bars from the jeweler, bring the songs to the beach in hopes of finding tuna

5:18-5:36

…

5:36- 6:16

Grab a bat, lose my rag. Couple things got me mad, a couple people got me wrong and now I’m changing up the swag. Coming in and stealing it, I might take the whole bag. Feeling undefeated, I’m a beast with a reason, and imma lead the whole pack. Fearless like I’m Caesar, I’m just waiting for a chance to fill it up with diesel, and all I've been achieving is clocking miles in its region, moving like a legion.

Promise that I made to myself an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving, staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving.

I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy, it’s time I grew up,  a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on a mike.

6:16-6:32

I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane. The truth is on my medicine, can’t put that on your plate.

Speeding into everything, bout time I fixed the brakes. Don’t say I can’t communicate , you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And I know you know it’s references, looking at your face.

6:33- 6:53

Can’t justify mistakes, like every man that made them, seems I ain't  the one to blame. Lying to myself, only had so much to gain, so now I’m switching up the plate, see if that affects the place, im at on most days

I ain’t going with the usual so they looking at me strange. Confused, I can feel it all,  I’m here to make a change. It’s cold at 3am outside, I’m walking with the dog, thanking god that you don’t talk at all, my mind is switching off

6:54-7:12

Driving down to find myself, cuz I’ve been getting lost, lived this selfless life and found I can give a toss. Lessons that I’ve learned I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself.

So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt. Like burning toy soldiers that used to go up on the shelf. Recycle the ideas, conveying on the belt

7:14-7:29

.. circus, always hurting the way we felt? Embarrassed that we dreamt of bigger things and letting go of notions till we feel them in cement

Tired of only hoping, we feel broken men. Cuz the gravity is weight and has kept us to the ground, see the only people speaking with favors in their mouths

7:46-7:58

Got killer rhymes… no fillers, like godzilla, eating clouds cuz my smokes thicker, throat licker, my dope sicker, bringing people their hope like im the pope slicker,  i hope you’re getting the point cuz i walk quicker

I thought my city was shit bcs I want bigger like my zipper couldn’t zip up fed up with the…my love is fickle.. Residual age has a primitive face

I see demise for your limited ways, Left it to simmer, simmer away…a fake glimmer in the haze

8:09-8:11

Feeling trapped this industry is a cage

8:34-8:50

Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views, while they’ve been sat in their chairs, I’m feeling pressure to choose.

Standing here as one man, how can I do half when you’re half the person I am. If it wasn’t in your life, you didn’t choose it. It’s the funny thing about music. It’s the pain and beauty of it.

8:52-9:11

Don’t give a fuck what my suit is, it looks good so I wear it, better than the shoot that People’s wearing, changing the whole narrative for these basics and scarcity

Been facing the racists from back when i were a kiddie .born up in in 93’. been living in Bradford City..kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p*** still sitting in the classroom chilling, and i'm angry now that I’m older I see they treat us different

9:12-9:25

got me thinking I’m the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues.

20 years later I’m still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for, man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat

9:25-9:35

Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them

‘Boy your skin is so light’, ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.

9:35-9:45

I don’t know how that’s acceptable, when life is more susceptible to perception, be the death of them. I’ve been looking at the sky saying where’s that day of reckoning, you had your prophets right when they say that you would speak to them.

9:45-9:55

I need justice in this life and I trust that it’s my fight, cuz when I’m writing it feels right to have them focused on the facts again. Focused on the rap again, hoping for the change, gunna put this on the map again

9:55-10:16

Writing in all caps again, the pain, it goes through me so I write the letter. All the shit that could have brought me but made me better.

I’m at home with a pain in my soul , yeh rap… cuz you know I was too real to contest it, my time was invested. Now I look at the industry, I see it infested, looking like kids who would write on nesquik.

10:17-10:29

My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.

I ain’t never gave a fuck about these jokers and jesters. Ain’t no answers for these things, so just save us the questions, man allowed of violence, cuz my silence is deafening, your opinion stinks, somebody get him a breath mint.

10:30- 10:42

Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening, I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine Now they all wanna hear me, got a table at letterman. Direction changed, like I changed up the lettering. Don’t believe the age ,bcs I move like a veteran.

10:42 - 10:47

Raised on the benefit for whose benefit, they’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.

…no words coming out when you open your mouth

And to be honest, it’s insulting, offensive to my wounds that have been salting. Tryna ask me questions that they know I never answer. I’d rather sit online and reply to the fan art

11:00-11:06

Fuck a sports car, coming through when i rapped

tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor

11:06- 11:17

Fake life, 'sup online, suck a fat one. You don’t wanna buy into that, none of that son. Sitting in the garden 98’ in the Datsun,  seen some hot summers but I still remember that sun.

*music*

11:51- 12:34

I make millions off of my pain, cause I know a few millions still living that way

Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause i hit the nerve. Only way that the sheep learn if the street firm, in my ways I don’t wanna change, everything just stay the same

Who you tryna convince you understand, cant maintain, let the lights dim some,  get the Chow Mein, flex, get the tape, right up at night

Why these men be nice to my face, be nice,  i ain’t tryna be a gangsta ruins my vibe

Rather be low-key and on my phone. Never need the trophy or the show piece

Never show peace in a North Face fleece. Show kids this like i wrote my flip

Cause the sign might fit till the start i’m sick

12:37-13:05

Now you see where I come from, the world don’t. Only achievement in this life is the Jordans. Committing petty crimes out of boredom, we can’t afford them. So I stole it, need a rolex

Go make sense, get yourself a job, It’s a poor man’s game tryna sit and pray to god, he ain’t sorting out your problems, gotta sort them out yourself

Used to tell us fables, now I’m writing them myself, Cause we raw like animals we all just need some help

Cathartic, I’m an artist, trying to put my heart in

Felt double crossed like Leo in Departed

13:05- 13:27

For the knowledge i’m not charging see I got it all free

But my hunger kept me starving like i’m feening for the feed

I just Need a reason to see me bleeding for my creed. Trick you with the words like I keep em up my sleeve. Picking where I fit, I see me sitting with the queen

I ain’t doing it unless you’re used to saying please

Let me flow a bit, before I sting 'em with the bees, They tryna kill us with disease

(Music)

13:34- 14:12

Why does it feel like they had the same notebook and the same four looks

Like the rain won't touch on their face, so sus when they lie don’t trust not a minor

Please no fuss, I just move through the game like must

Something in the way i adjust till i stick, Free falling like the ship, free fall till i bust

Remember 21 brother gave no fucks. Trying to project when they give them looks

In the projects, in the objects us

In my own way, never gave me love, shoulda never started this, broken hearted kid

Dried up the feeling till I stole the lid

Don’t wanna relish in the fame but I can’t resist

14:46-14:58

I like the way we feel, I like the way, I like the way

Ain’t no mistake, i am a being

I ain’t tryna be a leader, been selling out since Jesus

All my rhymes are for the readers, between the lines, like Father time, I fuck Mother Nature

14:58-15:40

That’s what they get, the connotations. Tell 'em I lived a life, and then I lived a life of adjacent? like its…. and played it patient.

Alone on my own spaceship, always tryna find greatness, still defying lines, but I’m fighting in my prime.

Shining light like Kylo while imma kill it all the time. Aging like I’m wine

Asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define. Focused on defiance, imma fight it while it’s life.

Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next, just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around til I’m the best

Speaking in full sentences, shoulda thought about a strategy before you went at the stratosphere about this… rings around Saturn, this ain’t a battle, I’m sat, I’m here

15:40-16:22

Catch me doing magic, hired and sounding tragic I think you could use practice and until that you get the blacklist and pull like a … actress? Fooling them like a catfish, schooling like a legend, happy to be the reference, fusing like iridescence, leaving them all guessing, leaking out of my brain like a pipe I aint fixing, shining like a star you can see it from a distance

Aint many of me around p*** I’m just different Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto, clean up like Im Dettol

I’m the man to put a bet on, sight smart like a weapon,  this is my kind of setting, i write the world I’m sat in, while these others live on hype, i see them fight in how they type, the fruit is ripe for the taking, i think i might

16:22-16:57

Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here

16:58- 17:47

Eccentric things are mentioned like a kid stuck in detention tryna escape im just spitting what is written on the next page, spitting image of my dad in his young days

Born sinner when i’m livid i say fucks sake

Don’t worry i’m too cunning with no plumbing, the waterworks, i sung something that resonates, i thought it first like giving birth to the parrot perch

They see me do it and they know it works

Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse

You’ll be nervous, you don’t deserve it we’ll scratch the surface ill leave a crater, lift the dirt up to find the hurting

Can’t know for certain nothing is guaranteed, tryna be a better person than the world deserves to see cuz i see a lot of sharks still swimming in the sea

Cease and arrest what’s the reason.. And these the kinda kids we bringing up next

Distorted reality, all they needed was family, too hard to face, to see what the damage is

17:47

*i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, *

18:04-18:38

Sometimes they ask the questions too deep to form a sentence, to disform, is this the norm, is this the sentence i feel defenseless i played the setlist, and all my sweat blood and tears, forgot to mention feeling lost, going off into different sections i feel like love wrecked it

If it’s not a drug why am i waiting for the next fix, affected, i cant believe that you left this

I guess I leave for the best wish, moving on like im fine for the lectures

We see it all from spectrums, cuz if we’re falling down we can fall down together

Staircase to heaven, mirror down the middle like 11, resentment on one side it won’t settle

18:38- 19:14

Mind fried but taking sense, they aint got a sense of themselves in the rich ends

Need to spell it out for them.. Made for them so witness

I know you feel afflicted but you always love it with me while im laughing at you, ya think you’re laughing with me

I try to (i love you) but im grown so they don’t fit me, my body thrown from the new to this old city so Im sick of sitting on my own, feeling so shitty, i’ve been on roads where its cold and the snow hitting

Its okay to be yourself, sit and talking to myself

I’ve been walking for the longest, just need a little rest, know i ain’t the strongest, I can feel it in my chest, talking about my feelings and of me, they get the best

19:14-19:59

They aint leaving, seeing breathing in my breath

Till death do us part is just seeded in my heart, like a work of art

Never winning,im just scared

Cant begin from the start, do i play a part in the rhythm of the night

I guess i’m onto something cuz the dark is feeling right

Every cloud got a lining, put my own miles  in, like moralis, figured that they’re jealous, that they could just never tell us to change because the weather never made me question whether or not i’m not that level

Got rid of all the bullshit sitting in my way, most of them are full of shit i see it every day

I do hearing the same things that i do, maybe that shits hitting like haiku

How much do you pay for them to hype you

Recycle your flaws but they aint like new, leaving and conceded and full of diesel like engines that need a cleaning, the ending will be revealing. Even though we ain’t raising the facts, now we been facing.

20:01-20:52

The cactus with spikes, needing spaces. Different faces, the same story. A full body like straight body direct to your system.

Could never tell 'em we missed’ em. Not even with the thoughts, we gift them. Cuz they just take advantage, guess we are caught in a system.

My soul pouring out details of borrowed time, had enough of a fill, this is for sorrow time. I’m seeing visions of Heaven, I seen the severed line, between the gospel they speak and when theyre telling lies.

Remember telling a friend of mine, you’d sent of mine, identified like a 3rd eye. Got a habit of knowing now where the dirt lies. So benign. I ain’t sober after 9, so I fuck their minds. Why you flipping out, see another

Try to rep it from the city, fuck a chiller crew, repping for the nittys, trying to keep us down, raised on the social, don’t want to let us out of the system. Me, I insist we assist them, me alone putting shifts til I lift them

20:53-21:12

I know it’s hard, that’s why I like it, I’m fit to fight it, I’m from the North, I’m backing Tyson, it’s been decided, don’t see no light. They needing guiding, just redefining, realizing, I’m realigning, in full finance, they stay silenced.

Can’t be louder, I’m juiced up with no powder. I fix shit like a slick spanner. Gone green like Bruce Banner. So free Gaza on my banner

21:12-21:51

The real McCoy, I ain’t nothing to toy with, signifying peace like a Japanese Koi Fish. How did this happen, we’re moving backwards in our timeline, killing us with cyanide, Right up for the freedom 'til we transform like Ironhide

This is bout my feelings, the way that I move affects the fate that I’m sealing. Can’t say nothing, with that something being on the page, kept inside the pen like the bars that have been kept caged. See I always had a plan, since I was young, we had nothing man

Now it’s been a few years since I ain’t seen the fam, on foreign lands. Bout to climb Everest in the avalanche. Right into the riddles as soon as you were born. Never asking the question cuz it’s the norm. See I’m in a questionin’ session

21:52-22:03

Like the manner got a method to teaching a lesson, listen to MF Doom, he taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten. Still we play cartoons so it’s never forgotten.

22:03-22:15

Chilling at the top but we came from the bottom. Writing and jottin for them life by, spotting the difference

*Dreams, was growing out of me, sun promising that tomorrow it will rise, time playing games with my mind, I swear it will pass us by

Train goes on the tracks, smoke, I’m tired to hide my thoughts, so blinded in flames, Don’t know where we’re going, I have no way of knowing, only see what’s in my head

Can’t we wait a minute, so we can savour this, It’s on my brain again, these days, It on my brain again these days”

23:10-23:46

They’re hating on Palestine ways, The oh no Palace playing Prince on the Steinway, Sending out mind waves, stop them like crimewaves, Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name

Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing

We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route, say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown

I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.. Done ain’t it, Shit just gets me vexed, and now I’m sitting that I think of it

23:45-23:59

Feeling on the brink of it, whatever it is, Figure out some shit at least it feels that way

talk about my feelings and I don’t feel so strange, finding solace, that’s a promise, in Metropolis but being honest, can’t write a sonnet, without some pain

24:00-24:40

Can’t fade away, away so we can savour this, been on my brain again these days

Can't find a way to be so you can savour this, been on my brain these days

Singing the song for another, singing a song for another

[wickedpact]

your regularly scheduled ttt Thots

first main thought: sad. sad sad sad. poor achilles

second main thought: i was thinking abt this as i went to sleep but the difference in 'what an author wants to communicate with a piece of media' and 'what an audience wishes to take from a piece of media' are two different things that ive never thought of much before.

i mean when i read ttt issues, what i want is Lore. i want to learn about the characters, i want to see what makes them tick, i want to learn about their relationships with each other and see how they grow over the years. but thats not necessarily what the authors want to explore with their stories-- like, the nicky story tells you actually very little about nicky as a person or nicky and joe's relationship (at least it doesnt tell you anything we dont already know), and thats not really seemingly the point of the story itself.

but anyways.

ACHILLLESSSSSS

i was honestly expecting smth very different from this one, primarily bc the blurb mentioned andy 'returning' after leaving achilles and i thought that meant her returning to the squad. and bc booker became immortal around the time andy was with achilles, i thought this story would be about them meeting and the obvious clash they would have over andy mourning her relationship (that ended due to her immortality, that she had to let go of due to her immortality) and booker refusing to end his relationships bc he doesnt have the experience there that andy had.

but 'returning' meant returning to her and achilles' house and her finding out how she died, which. rip. i just kind of assumed he died of old age.

AND IT SUCKS bc she left specifically so he wouldnt get hurt, and all she ended up rlly doing is leaving him to die violently alone

i was kind of upset we didnt rlly learned much abt their relationship (what did andy love abt achilles? what did he love abt her? what did they spend their days doing after they retired?) i did love the little bits showing how the two were different, especially in regards to how his life as a runaway slave affected him (and didnt affect andy)

something something andy's immortality granted her the confidence to set aside her weapons so thoroughly for so long, while achilles' past as a slave and respective mortality didnt allow him to be so hasty

but anyways the fact that andy wanted peace so bad-- i mean, like ive said before, we kind of see some of the worst of andy (well, maybe not the worst worst of her) even within the movie. but regardless of how much andy is tired of humanity's shit and how much she likes to swing her axe, she's still a person who wants peace and quiet and safety at the end of the day like anyone else.

its one of a million things i like abt andy. she can be a vengeful god and a doting mother and a thousands-year-long mourning daughter and a tired mercenary & on top of all of those Layers(TM) she can be Just A Person Who Wants Peace. her multitudes are wild to think abt sometimes, how many lives she's led

'but the older she gets the harder she finds conjuring their love in her memory when she comes here. all thats left is the hate and rage that destroyed this place. and that will last forever' 😭

tbh this issue is kind of a monument to how much the immortals lose to bigotry & hatred

and speaking of, the nicky one was alright. like i said you dont really... . learn much abt nicky or joeandnicky. i mean

1. nicky misses joe when hes gone. shocker

2. nicky kills violent racists. double shocker

3. all the violence and hatred nicky witnesses over this period bothers him. huge shocker!

i mean nothing it goes over is a surprise and (unpopular opinion here) im not usually a fan of shmoopy romantic stuff. joe's speech is a huge exception to me and i think its bc the speech is Romance With A Point. that speech isnt just a bunch of flowery sentiments, but it actually tells the viewer quite a bit about joe and nicky's relationship.

(i remember in one of luca's interviews he mentioned that, while reading the tog script, he wondered what a 900 year long relationship would be like, but the answer to his question was pretty much all in the van speech.)

also i think ive mentioned this before, but i tend not to like joenicky fics where joe or nicky have a Big Speech for the other bc pretty much all other romantic sentiment pales in comparison to the van speech for me. and nicky's letter in this story is the same way for me. you can read the whole thing here if you want (the rest of the dialogue within this story is mostly just confederates being racist and nicky being like 'thats nice' before he kills them lmao)

i dunno the whole thing is like. im so sad and lonely. and im killing a bunch of people and that sucks. and im so lonely. and sad. did i mention i was killing people. the sun is mocking me. these clouds symbolize the storm in my heart. im so lonely. and also sad.

i dunno, it didnt unzip me. tho i like how the wine was spiked with that sweet 'joe as the sun' symbolism, love that for us

its also kind of ironically Another TTT Story dealing with 'nicky is killing a bunch of people and hes having a crisis over it'. ive said before, im not a big fan of nicky angst personally + the fact that there isnt much here to actually learn abt nicky + the fact i wasnt huge for nicky's Poetic Liberties + the lack of a solo joe to match this solo nicky kind of made me 'eh' abt it. it wasnt poorly written or anything! i just wasnt ham for it

like with the other ones (moon landing one for instance) even when there was stuff i wasnt huge for, there was other stuff i liked, like most of us didnt care for the depiction of joe and nicky's argument in that story, but the stuff with andy and joe arguing about the moon was cute, and the stuff with nicky and Booker's Relationship Advice was cute. but for this one it was mostly just the letter. and i wasnt huge for the letter, haha

also. mutton chop man

god did this to me bc i bitched too much abut the goatee. he saw my weakness and punished me for it

BUT HOLY FUCK DID YALL SEE THE SHAKESPEARE SONNET QUOTE IN THERE???? ? SONNET 43 BABEY EVERY DAY WE GROW CLOSER TO GODS LIGHT

[dream-critical]

Dream: I know it looks bad that this edit that I perfectly spliced into this video of my friend cooking is just Super racist, but don't worry! I promise, it's not as bad as you think! Dream Crit Folks: LMAO?? How???

Dream: It's fine because I stole the edit! Dream Crit Folks: So. Let me get this straight. You made a super racist joke AND you plagiarized half of it? You. You do see how that's not. Better. Right? You sat down and LOOKED for a racist video to put into your video as a bit, you had to scrub through racist MLG videos to find an existing edit that you liked in order to download the one you wanted to edit perfectly into a video for a YTP style bit at the expense of minorities?

Jokes aside though, if he wasn't intent on being a piece of shit he could probably use his experience getting pipelined and his massive gaming community platform in a space occupied by publicly recognized gateways TO the alt-right pipeline to help his younger audience members recognize the signs of being dragged into something bad by the people around you or the people you watch online but like. He'd rather lie or fight ppl who tell him that something he's said is racist (regardless of if they are gentle abt it or not) and pretend it doesn't happen which I think says a lot about him as a person.

Yeah, he really just tried to get himself out of the situation by making it seem worse. He was so busy trying to excuse it that he didn't actually think about what he was saying imo.

I think that like, while ideally obviously he could, he isn't focused on education based content. For him to actually talk about the gaming spaces to alt-right pipeline would seem completely out of the blue. To be fair i think that if, in his stream, instead of implying that it was the norm he talked about how toxic gaming spaces were and mentioned how he educates himself or what helped him change etc it would feel a lot more genuine. Owning up to it means coming to terms that it happened and moving forward, and with his apology stream it didn't feel like that was happening imo.

[equalseleventhirds]

...hm.

so i watched a little bit of shadow and bone while doing laundry & then while eating dinner (yes i am also doing homework i promise)

and i'm obvs not done and also i never read the books, so like, i may change my mind when i finish & if i read the books

but prior to watching i saw some stuff abt how there's a lot of terrible racism in the show since they made the main character mixed asian, so i was like, braced for it, right?

but so far it... hasn't been that bad?

like obvs it is there but mostly in the form of other characters being racist towards alina and clearly framed as wrong? and like, yeah that is a rough subject and should absolutely be warned for and ppl need to be aware of that

but... idk it may just be that i'm mixed asian myself, but this is real. this is shit that really happens to me in real life. not to such an obvious extent as alina, but also america's not currently at war with the philippines, so the micro (or macro) aggressions i experience are different sometimes. but a lot of them are similar.

so i watch it and i feel... idk. recognized? reflected? without necessarily feeling rejected by the narrative (at least so far)

like yeah we love a fantasy world without racism as escapist fiction, but a fantasy world with racism, especially when it's handled with a narrative around that racism being wrong, can also be an important piece of fiction to a lot of people who experience racism in real life

and like, i would love for alina to learn about and love her shu side too, after her shame and rejection surrounding it. but that shame and rejection is also real, especially for mixed-asian ppl living in a majority white society, and certainly when i was younger i tried to find ways to fit in with white people, and only even started learning about my heritage properly when i was older. and i had my asian mother around, unlike alina. (also i think we are getting a narrative around inej still carrying her family's history too, so fingers crossed abt that? i hope so! two different narratives would be cool!! also cool to have both east asian and south asian ppl having narratives abt, or the fantasy equivalent thereof ig)

like, there's some room to discuss whether white ppl should be writing this, but so far they've handled it not too terribly? and i would much rather watch a show about an asian person struggling against racism than i would like to watch a show that treats racism against asians as totally not a thing while also using racist fucking tropes when writing their characters. which is ime a more common problem for white ppl who try to write asian characters, and drives me up the fUCKING WALL. in comparison to that, this is p chill.

[b00bconnoisseur]

Hey do all of the greek god asks

Long post alert

Aphrodite: what you find attractive in a person

Lots of stuff really. But in mostly personality and interests over looks. U can be not really the most good lookin but be the most wonderful person. But u could also be the most beautiful thing ive ever laid eyes on but you're trash of a person. So looks dont matter much to me. But in a person i like if we share interests like art, music, books, and if youre really nice and stuff too

Apollo: favourite piece of music

Ooooo thats hardddd. Just ONE?? Howwww?! Ughhhh. Ok hm idk abt a FAVORITE but i really love heavy by johnnie guilbert and uhh i love ghost and heroin by badflower along with a bazillion others

Ares: opinion on war

If u mean infinity war? Um THAT MOVIE WAS SAD BUT AWESOME AF BUT THAT END THO AAAAAAAAA

Artemis: favourite animal and why

Snakesssss. I just really love snakes. I love the creepiness abt the lil beans. I love how they look. AND I LOVE WHEN THEY WEAR LIL HATS

Athena: share a piece of wisdom

Dont eat Oreos with hotsauce kids. It wont taste good

Dionysus: red, white, or rosé?

I do not drinketh wine but i like the color white over the other 2 so let's go with white

Eros: describe your crush

Nsnsnxndnsnsm damn. Ok uh well he likes hp as well. Hes a tumblr user. Annnddd hes nice :) thats all u lil munchkins get. And only 3 ppl know who this is so ha

Hades: do you believe in life after death?

Like heaven/hell? Idk. Sorta. But i don't really believe it as an afterlife. I think of it as u dead, thats where u go. Over with. But the thought of living like a 100 yrs then being gone for the rest of time sounds stupid like cmon those dudes in the bible can live for thousands of years and we get an average of like 75? Nah. But idk yet

Helios: opinion on tanning

I am already tan. I get more pale in winter n stuff but in summer my skin turns a golden brown color more. Kinda like the color of a cooked hotdog?

Hephaestus: do you think disability can ruin a relationship?

Oof hmm. What kind of disability? Like depression? (wait does it count as one?) I say it can yea maybe but if your partner is loving and supportive and is trying to help then i say you'll be okay

Hera: opinion on feminism

Idk i feel like im sort of a feminist myself. Like i hate that women don't have the same rights as men. Dude hear this. Me and my bro were arguing with our grampa about Hillary clinton or having a woman President and so my bro said to my grampa "so if tam (me) ran for President u wouldn't vote for her? Just cause she's a girl?" And my grampa said "*laughs* yeah i mean i love ya hun but women dont need to be president. Its a mans job. Men are supposed to be the leaders not women. Tge bible says so. No i wouldn't vote for u" and i got pissed cause wtf man??? What's wrong with u?? And then we kept arguing and then he was like *fake laughs* nah i was jk hun u know id vote for u youre my granddaughter. And i called him a liar and that he was lying because i know when hes lying. Then he started being racist abt smtn and then my mom got fed up and we left. I wouldn't talk to my grampa and he got mad so he said I was the one being stupid. Yeah sure ok believe that

Hermes: last text you sent

Uh it was to my best friend and it was "Not a big fan of hp huh?" But before that it was "That's not fai!r everyone has that one book they dont finish when they start on another. And when they dont finish it it usually means they weren't that interested in it. Or they really wanna read this new book cause its hard to focus on the old book when u have the new book and can read it whenever instead"

Persephone: is climate change really a thing or is everyone just overreacting?

I say its a thing!! Everythings changing and i dont think its for the better

Poseidon: list three fears

1. Momo coming to life and chasing after me and finally catching me then making me stare closely into her eyes while killing me slowly

2. Spiders ( @cristal-kyd1280 including jarvis)

3. Dying/dying by me being stupid like skydiving or eating a cup of apple seeds for no reason

Zeus: three places you want to travel to

@dirtysocke in georgia

@mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye in the Netherlands

@cristal-kyd1280 a few hrs away from me

Demeter: favourite season and why

FALL CAUSE ITS THE BEST AND U CAN F I T E ME ON IT

Pan: opinion on gay rights

I fucking WHOLEHEARTEDLY support gay rights!!! I feel fucking ashamed cause i haven't always......(thanks mom, dad) but over the years ive gotten a bit more supportive and stuff but especially in summer last year one day after our shift at the library whenever my friend cadence came out as pan/bi/gay to me while she waited with me for my parents to pick me up. Also especially since i got tumblr and saw how amazing the lgbtq are. Like dude most of my friends are gay um and its fucking awesome?? Like for example dude my friend lucas is bi and i could talk to him abt boys n stuff and how cute different dude celebrities are xD Also i learned alot abt what pansexual and bisexual and stuff was exactly (my mom fuckin told me pan was when a person likes anyone. Even ANIMALS. She fuckin disgusted me like wtf who says that??) But now I'm ready to fight whenever any one even my fam starts being homophobic. Also i want to start reading more about the lgbtq. (I loved svthsa) But yea i say gay rights should be supported by fuckin EVERYONE and NO ONE should be homophobic and if u are like bitch keep that shit to yourself before i slug u

Hestia: describe your ideal house

Idk? Like i want an apartment for a while before an actual house yknow? But when/if i do get one eventually idk id like....just a house? Not a big one but not tiny either. Uhhh i wsnt a room just for my books and one for like an art room. Besides that? I cant think of anything lol

Dude it took like an hr and a half to answer all these holy shit

[yellodisney]

[chaddicus]

I haven’t wanted to admit that I’ve been watching iron fist but I’ve been watching iron fist and I need to rant a bit about it and I don’t want to do it on the sideblog

this got super fucking long so uh under a cut, and obviously #iron fist spoilers but in case it wasn’t clear. also mentions of #kilgrave, #hydra, #nazis, #addiction, #forced institutionalization, I’m really sorry to anyone on mobile who’s gonna see this whole post even if they don’t want to, it’s really fucking long

I’ve reached the point in the series where danny’s with colleen and bakuto in the hand thing and he just learned that they’re the hand and he and colleen had this conversation where colleen talks abt how the hand is not what danny’s been told it is, he’s been told this one story about it being awful and he’s never bothered to ever question it, he just believes it 100%, and that the actions of the hand that killed danny’s parents were all gao’s sect and she does not represent the whole hand (lol) and maybe, just maybe, the world isn’t split up into ‘good guys’ and ‘the hand’.

and here I am thinking: man, this would be a good time to redeem the hand in canon, do away with the racist ‘the hand is all evil asian ninjas’ (and I say asian bc I’m pretty sure they blended at least chinese and japanese from the start but idr for sure) and maybe they could actually show that things are complex, that the world is not all one way, that the hero can sometimes be WRONG about people and he can actually learn from it and accept that some of the people he thought were terrible actually aren’t, but

I haven’t 100% spoiled myself for the rest of iron fist but I’ve watched defenders, so I know that the hand are the ~big bad villain~ of all of it and that bakuto ends up working with gao and the other ~fingers~ and colleen talks abt how she doesn’t need bakuto anymore and then I think beheads him? which tbh was a pretty sick scene in a good way, like if I had to rank my favorite types of gory deaths, decapitation is #1, but whatever

and I guess like. I’ve seen some too abt colleen’s story eventually being moving away from the cult SHE was raised & brainwashed into, and learning how to exist outside of what she was taught, and I guess I’m happy to see complexity and progress in her story but I find myself wishing that for once it was the main hero learning that the black and white view of the world he learned was wrong and being able to accept that and adjust his view of the world to be more open, and tbh it’s not necessarily just the hand in particular it’s the way so many SO MANY supervillains/organizations are made into 100% irredeemable evil entities and like there are absolutely cases where redemption isn’t acceptable (hydra, first order, death eaters, basically any sort of nazi-adjacent/equivalent) but the problem is when every piece presents every villain that way, and where the heroes are proven justified in their belief that the people they’re fighting are purely evil and not really people and they don’t have to worry about getting innocent people who don’t deserve it caught up in their wrath unless they’re just coincidentally caught in the crossfire, and it’s just.

the best villains marvel has done have been the ones that -- even if they aren’t redeemable, they’re human, and complex, and we get to see that side. loki, though I don’t want to jump onto the way a lot of his big fans treat him, was probably the first villain the mcu truly did right, but after the first thor film they kind of fucked it up and they can’t really go back at this point. bucky as an antagonist was so compelling because he was redeemed and an ally in the end.

  /#spider-man homecoming spoilers but the vulture was imo a great villain too because in the end, we and peter both learned that -- shit, he’s liz’s dad, and as he says he’s just doing what he needs to for his family, and peter saves his life at the end of the film, leaving him for the police to collect, instead of just letting him die in the fire like some ‘superheroes’ in the mcu would tbh do 100%, though I won’t name names at all. he was complex and human and we could understand where he was coming from and in the end, peter ended up still bringing him to justice but with a bit of mercy because he’s not just evil. end spoilers/ 

the best villains are the ones you can understand, because the best villains don’t think of themselves as villains. they’re not just evil, they have complicated motivations that we can understand because they are HUMAN and flawed and maybe they hurt too many people in their way, but they aren’t hurting people for the sake of hurting people, and they aren’t heartless or cruel. sometimes, okay, a heartless, cruel villain who hurts people for the sake of hurting people done well can be good, but the problem is the mcu is SWIMMING with those kinds of villains. obadiah, the chitauri, hydra & pierce, the dark elves & mordecai, thanos, ronan, aldritch killian, these are all villains that the mcu has presented as irredeemable, happy to hurt people in their way, heartless & unmoved by the sacrifices of their allies if it brings them closer to their desires, in many cases specifically not human. the list already outweighs the villains that were given any sort of humanity and understanding and perhaps mercy, but look at that list and remind me how many of those villains actually survived? absolutely none of them aside from thanos, whose true role is going to be in infinity war and he’s almost certainly gonna end up dead there too. they all died, the heroes killed them, and we’re just supposed to be okay with it, because they’re evil and the heroes are good.

and as I said, a pure evil irredeemable heartless cruel sadistic villain can be done well, and here I’m gonna specifically name kilgrave, because even though some of the fandom has been super gross and woobified him anyway, the show did a really good job of showing us that he was not redeemable, that he was an awful person and never going to change, and they were thoroughly convincing when presenting the idea that jessica killing him was the only way to stop him from ruining peoples lives, and ultimately the right and only option. but the thing is they also showed us who he is, how he justified his own actions, how he thinks, and he’s still human too. we were at no point supposed to forgive him, and he was never right, but he was complex and his death was not just the simplest answer, it was the only answer. we were shown that he could not be imprisoned or held, we were shown that he would never change himself, we were shown that he has done unforgivable things and doesn’t regret any of them. he would have continued to ruin people’s lives and hurt people and kill people unless he was killed himself, and jessica killed him. he was an awful terrible evil person, but he was a well made villain.

but every villain on that list up there got none of that complexity. we were never shown that pierce couldn’t have been stopped without killing him, we were never given any indication that aldritch killian or obadiah held any remorse, hell, killian and obadiah’s deaths were accidents. most of hydra and the dark elves and the chitauri were just canon fodder, background henchmen and minions that the heroes could punch and shoot and knock out and kill to get to the big bad villains, and then they killed those guys, too. ronan and thanos are, so far, only, purely motivated by power, and they just don’t care about anything or anyone else unless something gets in their way. it’s exhausting, the lack of care in these villains, they way they only exist so the ‘good guys’ have ‘bad guys’ to fight, so that we can root for the death and destruction of the villains without ever feeling like maybe that’s not super cool, maybe the heroes should think a bit before they pummel every henchman and murder every boss.

I feel like luke cage also did an excellent job with its villains, and kingpin in daredevil season 1 was really incredible and such a great launching point for the marvel netflix shows. part of why I loved frank castle in season 2 was because he was the antithesis to so many of the villains up there ^^ -- we were introduced to him as an antagonist, but over the course of the show, we learned more about him, about his motivations, we learned to sympathize, to understand him & why he does what he does, and ultimately matt ended up letting him go instead of pursuing him relentlessly with the belief that he must be stopped at all costs. he’s not a hero, but he wasn’t a villain. he was never evil.

but the hand is one of the worst things the netflix series has done, because not only is it all that horrible stuff those villains up there suffered from, it’s also an incredibly racist caricature of ~ninjas~ filled with harmful stereotypes. I saw one person say that an asian danny rand would be just another stereotype, but at least imo (which isn’t worth that much bc I am white so uh if it’s shitty lmk) an asian american danny rand would have balanced. it wouldn’t be the good white guy against the evil asian ninjas, and if it was well done it could be a lot more nuanced. luke cage’s villains could never have been placed against a nonblack hero, bc it would be super racist, and people seem happy to accept that. the hand against an asian danny rand could still have been not great, but it would have been better.

and I just find myself wishing that they could have tried to give the hand the REAL complexity of proving colleen right, of proving that the white hero had shitty views abt the enemy and maybe trying to counter the racism inherent in a lot of it. I don’t know that they could have made it perfect either way, I don’t know if they could have fully recovered from the terrible foundations, but it could have been better.

so far, the most compelling part of the show, to me, has been ward meachum’s storyline and his relationship with joy, because it is complex and human and nuanced in a lot of ways. if iron fist had stuck with harold meachum alone as the villain, the show would be a lot whiter but frankly it would have avoided the mess it brought on itself with the hand, and it wouldn’t have split its story so awkwardly. joy and ward meachum are introduced as antagonists, at least of a sort, and then very quickly they go ‘oh well it really is danny’ so they give him his company back and they’re frustrated by him but ultimately on his side. I was surprised at how quickly danny got his company, and honestly a little annoyed by it. once they proved he was actually danny rand, he didn’t face any more resistance on the path to getting it back. sure, legally, once they proved it was him, they couldn’t actually stop him, but he was given his everything and plopped into his dad’s old office and allowed to make terrible business decisions (that yes were ultimately good ethically I won’t argue that point) until the board ousted him & ward & joy, and I haven’t progressed in the plot past that point, but the pacing doesn’t feel good. I feel like it could have been a lot more nuanced and compelling if we saw what ward’s going through while he’s still opposing danny, if we learned to sympathize with him before he swapped over to the good guys’ side. but iron fist and defenders needed the hand, and it was executed terribly, and the rest of the plot was very poorly done as well as a result.

on another note, I also want to complain very very strongly abt all the forced institutionalization in the fucking show (twice?? TWICE??!) and even without it, the ableism oh so present in every implication any character makes that danny’s crazy for his claims abt being danny rand, abt being the iron fist, that ward must be insane bc he claims his father’s alive and planted drugs in his car bc his father is dead and has been dead for thirteen(?) years, so clearly something must be wrong with his head, right?? and I’m interested in seeing his struggles w addiction and a proper storyline abt him pulling through and surviving on the other side would be great, but using it to further the justification for locking him up makes me sick. it’s terrible, it’s awful, it’s actively harmful for people with addiction, with mental illness, and on top of that it was really really disturbing for me as someone with bipolar & anxiety & who knows what else, for whom the possibility of forced institutionalization isn’t just fictional, and I personally haven’t been at true risk for it because my parents have been supportive 100% of the way and they’ve been really good about being more interested in helping me the way I want to be helped than the way they think I need to be helped, or just gotten out of the way because it bothers them, but there are so many people who have been threatened with or actually experienced that sort of thing and I imagine it would be so much worse for them, seeing the way danny and ward have been brought to the psych hospital ~for their own good~ and are entirely incapable of getting themselves out, and also being presented with people who’ve been there for years and decades  and it’s so fucking horrible, man, I hate that people don’t realize how horrible it actually is beyond a dramatic plot point

anyway I’ve gotten far enough that I’m too committed to just stop tbh, I really need to see how these stories end or I’ll feel even worse abt them probably, but on top of it I need to offer one last complete about the writing:

“it was just... nothingness.”

nothingness. nothingness. no! no!!! what the fuck! you are nouning a noun that doesn’t need to be nouned because it’s already a noun!!! ‘nothing’ is a word and should have been used!!! the emotional and dramatic impact of that scene was 1000% ruined for me because of that fucking word!!! it’s awful!!!!!

anyway that’s my review of iron fist season 1 so far, whatever. again I’m white and I don’t wanna be saying shit abt racism that I have no right or place to be talking abt, but I feel like I’m more just repeating what plenty of smarter people have already said before me, but still if anything here is bad I’d love to be corrected or something idk.