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thepaintedlady00 · 1 year

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Nightshade

Chapter 16 | Chapter 18

Chapter 17: Candy Apple

TW: as always language, drinking, smoking, some minor blood and violence, a few lewd thoughts, minor panic, but overall a pretty chill chapter this week This was edited quick, so sorry for mistakes. And I'll be totally honest with y'all I am not loving it. This chapter was really just giving me the most trouble from the start. There was so much I wanted to add and I just bit off a bit more than I could chew with this one so a lot got cut and it feels kinda rushed, but I figured it was best to get it posted and out of the way so we can move on to bigger and better things. So, sorry if this sucks! 😅 I still hope y'all enjoy it!

Rain splashed against the pavement in large drops, making it hard for Jake to ignore as he rode his bike through the bustling city streets. The chilled liquid slid down the arms of his leather jacket and onto his hands, making them feel stiff in the October air. A taxi drove through a puddle, splashing the bottom of his pants and getting him even more wet than before. God, he hated the rain.

In the alley ahead, he could see a sopping wet head of red hair. Lena stood in the downpour as Sasha, Ari, and Scott all smoked beneath the safety of the covered doorway. As the traffic filtered out of his way, he could better see how her hair dripped and how calm her face was as she talked to their coworkers as if she weren't soaking wet, but it was her peaked nipples that caught his and Ari's eyes most. Her white shirt was nearly sheer from the rain, and the thin bralet she wore did little to hide her breasts from the world, not that he was complaining.

He rode across the street, drawing the eyes of everyone in the alley, but hers were all he cared about. The green was more vibrant in the rain, but they still paled compared to her smile. A soft whisper of his name was all it took to make his heart beat slightly faster. Scott looked at his wet pants and shook his head with a chuckle. "Not the best weather for bike riding."

"No shit," he grumbled in reply.

Lena shrugged. "I think it's fun riding bikes in the rain!"

"You would," Jake looked at her wet clothes again. "What'd you go swimming before you got here?"

"Oh, haha, you're so clever!" She mocked, rolling her eyes and lifting her head up toward the sky with another smile.

She was so beautiful. His eyes studied her again, her hair, those eyes, the slight arch in her back as she leaned back, her breasts. Maybe the rain wasn't so bad after all. Sasha flicked a cigarette into one of the puddles. "I don't think I've ever seen a wet Tiger before."

Ari giggled, leaning against the Russian. "It's kinda hot."

Lena glared at both of them. "Perverts."

"You gonna work soaking wet tonight?" Scott asked, snuffing out his own cigarette.

Ari grinned. "Only if she's in the front with Jakey again."

She flipped the short-haired woman off before answering Scott. "Course not. Unlike the two of you, I'm a professional."

"Excuse me!" Sasha scoffed. "I speak four languages!"

"That's cute," Lena teased, pinching his cheek as she walked past him.

"You little cunt face!" The Russian replied, smacking Lena's ass and muttering some Russian to her.

She only laughed while Scott followed the rest inside. "Don't drag that water through my fuckin kitchen!"

"Yes, Chef!"

Jake followed his coworkers inside, hoisting his bike over one shoulder as he maneuvered around the shelves and people. Ari and Sasha headed out to the table, promising to save Lena food while she dried up. Scott went straight back into prep as Jake followed Lena up the stairs and into the locker room.

Simone was standing in front of the mirror, applying some of her favorite red lipstick. Their eyes met in the mirror as he set his bike against the wall. She smiled. "Good morning, my love. I trust you slept well."

The subtle shift of her eyes glancing at Lena didn't go unnoticed. The redhead said nothing as she began changing into her dry work attire. "I slept fine. Thought my fucked up hair would be enough for you to tell."

It was nice hearing her laugh, a sincere sound that made him lower his guard and relax as he hung his jacket up to dry and changed. Simone looked at him, shaking her head. "I should cut it like I used to. Maybe then you'd remember to brush it."

Chuckling as her fingers ran through his hair, Jake shook his head. "I'll pass. I don't wanna look like shit for the next two months." After she rolled her eyes, Jake carefully nudged her. "You seem to be feeling better. Taking a few days off must've been a good call."

"I am," Simone said softly. Her eyes flashed to Lena again. "What did you get up to while I was gone?"

Even though he'd already discussed the importance of keeping their new partnership quiet with Scott and Lena, Jake felt a pinch of anxiety tense his muscles. "Nothing interesting. You know me."

"I do indeed," she replied, gently squeezing his shoulder. "I'll go get us some food."

"Thanks."

"Good morning, Lena," Simone greeted as she passed the redhead, now doing up the buttons of her shirt.

Lena smiled politely. "Good morning."

Simone's eyes took in her wet hair with an arched brow. "Looks like you've had quite the walk this morning! Do you need help drying your hair before service?"

"Walking in the rain is always interesting, but I enjoy it. And thank you for the offer, but I've got it under control."

"Do let me know if you need anything," Simone replied before making her way down the stairwell.

It made Jake feel far better than it should've, seeing the two interact with one another in such a friendly manner. He knew both women had reservations about the other, but they were trying, and that's what mattered. Lena turned, pressing an old t-shirt to her wet hair. "Pull a hair tie out of Ari's locker for me?"

He followed her simple request, knowing Ari's combination by heart at this point. "You don't have one?"

"Thought I did," she replied. "But it looks like it got lost or something."

"Here." He handed her the hair tie and leaned against the locker next to hers. Watching her work her fingers through her hair, gently twisting it into an elegant and simple bun with only a few shorter curls sticking out and framing her face was mesmerizing. Once she'd made herself presentable, she hung her wet clothes up beside his jacket to dry, and the thought he'd been being onto just came out. "So you and Simone seem to be getting along."

Lena shrugged. "I may not be a member of the Simone fan club, but I respect the group's president enough to be nice."

Maybe it was stupid to feel so happy about something so simple. This wasn't the start of some budding friendship between Simone and Lena, he knew that, but it still felt nice knowing the woman standing in front of him - the one that meant more to him than even he was willing to admit - wouldn't ask him to choose between them as so many others had before.

The relationship he shared with Simone was complicated, but she was his family… The only person he knew he could count on no matter what. Most women felt threatened by that; most demanded that he choose either them or Simone. That answer was always easy. Simone. As Jake looked at Lena, a sudden thought made the smile vanish from his lips. If Lena asked him to choose, would that answer be as simple? He couldn't imagine losing her, and that meant that somewhere along the way - somewhere between the first day she'd walked out of the kitchen doors and now - Lena Harrow had become as important to him as Simone.

Her green eyes held his attention as a name echoed in his mind and consumed his soul with an answer. An answer to a question Jake would never ask. An answer Jake would never let himself acknowledge. Her eyes narrowed as she tilted her head slightly, asking, "You feeling alright, tough guy?"

"Yeah," he responded, lamely moving away from the locker and clearing his throat. "Just tired."

"It has been kind of a crazy week," she admitted with a teasing smile as she lifted her hand to his forehead. "Maybe you're the one that should be taking a few days off."

He brushed her hand away with a chuckle. "I'm sure Howard would love that."

"Well, you are a real pain in the ass for management." She tapped his chin with her finger. "Don't worry though, I'd still miss you."

It was playful banter, their usual kind, but her reassurance that his absence would mean something only made the feeling in his chest harder to shove down. Jake nodded to the door, gently urging her forward. "Come on, let's get this shift over with."

Family meal was something Jake rarely attended. He had no interest in sitting around some table with people he worked with, pretending that they were some big family. Even the name of it rubbed him the wrong way. After everything with Tess, his distaste for it grew. He'd show up early, per Simone's orders, but he'd stay as far from that damn table as he could. Jake would take the plate of food Simone saved him and eat it at the bar, isolated, uninterested, and angry.

It was odd to think as he sat at that table, surrounded completely by the noise and gossip of the people he'd worked with for so long they were… Kind of… A tiny bit like family. Even as he sat beside Simone, a statue of calm and composure, Jake interacted with the people around him. He joined in on their jokes and genuinely listened to what they said. When he looked over at Simone for a split second, he could've sworn he saw a scowl, but she discreetly rubbed his back and sipped on the wine Howard had selected for their morning.

Howard - the only thing that could put a damper on Jake's newfound positive outlook - entered the room with a stiff smile and those beady little eyes fixed on the woman sitting across the table from him. If everyone else at 22West were ships cast out to sea, Lena was a lighthouse. She was warm and bright, and safe. Everyone was drawn into her safe harbor, but Howard was the biggest ship, willing and able to speed past the others to have that harbor all to himself. A thing Jake was determined to keep from happening even if it meant sinking his own dinghy boat.

Lena turned her head, leaning back in her seat to give the manager her attention along with everyone else. "Changelings! Today's extraordinary, but rather obvious, selection of wine was chosen to celebrate an unexpected change, but I hope it'll be a good one in the long run."

"We're getting raises!" Nicky shouted, followed by a chorus of laughter.

"Or he's stealing more of our tips for the dishwashers," Sasha grumbled.

Howard chuckled, shaking his head. "Our dear Rosalyn has accumulated enough funds to tour Europe for the next few months.

Ari took a big drink of her wine. "How'd that bitch manage that?"

"Maybe she had another job?" Heather added.

"Obviously, we are very happy for her," Howard continued. "But, it's left us without a hostess. So, after much deliberation, we're happy to announce that Lena will be moving to the front to cover hostess duties for the time being."

All eyes were on her as Lena's face fell. Sasha, who sat beside her, muttered in Russian before gulping down his wine. Simone sat up, looking at Howard with narrow eyes as she asked, "Whose decision was this?"

"Mine," Howard replied. "Though our beloved owner showed nothing but support for it.

Jake could practically see her teeth grinding together as Lena set her jaw in place as Simone continued her questioning. "Did you discuss this with Lena first?"

"No, but if she has an issue with this new arrangement, I am more than happy to discuss it in private." He held Lena's gaze as he turned to leave. She was up out of her seat, following him to his office with fire in her eyes in seconds. Jake smirked. Despite having the biggest boat, Howard certainly wasn't doing himself any favors getting the lighthouse to like him.

"What the fuck was that?" I demanded, slamming Howard's door shut.

He sighed, taking his seat at his desk. "Given your position, I thought you'd be happy to have a more secure set of duties."

"I don't give a shit about being a hostess, Howard. Why didn't you come to me first?"

"I didn't think it would be an issue."

"Bullshit." I tried not to grind my teeth together. "After your part in springing, my mother and Olive on me, I thought you would at least consult me about changes like this. Changes that affect me."

He shook his head. "I am sorry, Lena, for springing this on you and for my part in the whole… Mess, that was our field trip. Things have been… Stressful as of late, and I find myself faced with very difficult choices. Choices I've had to make alone."

I breathed out my anger. Howard was a lot of things, but I knew he wouldn't have made a decision like this - one that put the delicate structure of the restaurant he'd dedicated his life to in jeopardy - lightly. "I understand that. Just… Talk to me before making announcements like that in the future. You know I hate surprises."

Chuckling, he nodded in agreement and pulled a dry cleaning bag out. "One last surprise."

"Seriously?" I questioned, looking at the sapphire dress inside. "Is this some kind of new uniform for hostesses?"

The manager shrugged. "The guests seem to appreciate it."

I accepted the dress with reluctance. "So I should start wearing fancier clothes to work from now on?"

"I am more than happy to provide you with suitable attire, Lena. Accessories as well. We both know Liz would have offered them to you if she were around."

Examining the sparkling blue earrings, I smiled at the fond memories of Howard's late wife. I'd only met her twice, long before the two had actually gotten married, but from the little I knew about her, I was certain Howard was right. Elizabeth was always kind and bright. "I'm still kind of mad at you for not giving me any warning, but I'm honored that you trust me with these small pieces of her."

Howard glanced at the now wilting white orchids on his desk. "They're just trinkets. Little things that sparkle. They pale in comparison to what she was."

"Still, I'll take good care of them."

"I know you will."

"I guess I'll go change again." I exited the office, still holding onto the tense frustration of the sudden announcement. It was harder to hold onto the anger; after all, it seemed Howard had been just as blindsided by Rosalyn's departure as the rest of us. I didn't envy the decisions on Howard's plate, especially with all the recent scheduling issues and the drama my mother had invited into the space in the form of her assistant. It was a tough decision, but Howard made it like he always did. The restaurant came first.

As soon as I walked through the kitchen doors with the dry cleaning bag on my arm, Scott scoffed, shaking his head. "Fucker actually did it, huh?"

"What?" I asked, slowing down.

"He put you on as hostess," Scott clarified, pointing a knife at the dress.

My eyes narrowed. "He told you?"

The chef continued his prep work. "It's what we were fighting about the other day. He wanted to 'give me a heads up', and I told him you were the one he should be warning. He seemed to think you wouldn't care."

"Huh," I scoffed. "I don't mind being the hostess for a bit while Howard looks for someone new. Though, I would have appreciated the heads up."

"I was gonna tell you," he replied. "But Howard was adamant he had it under control, so I thought it best to back off. I don't need that drama, especially not with all the other shit we have going on."

"I understand, Scott," I reassured him. "Have a good service, chef."

Scott shook his head again. "Don't we always?"

I changed into the new gown, silk rather than the other night's satin. It was light and comfortable but made my chest a bit more… Pronounced. If it got chilly tonight, I was certain my nipples would be giving the guests a very different dining experience. The thin straps drew attention to my neck and shoulders, while the long sapphire earrings accentuated my jawline. It was quite the look, one that still didn't quite sit well with me, given the environment.

Though the dress was beautiful and the accessories were stunning, I hated that it made me so overdressed. I looked more like a guest than a hostess, and as everyone else looked at me as I passed, it was obvious they thought so too.

Jake's brow arched as he watched me exit the kitchen and head to the hostel stand. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he discreetly moved his bar rag along the already polished part of the bartop to stand behind me. "Guess I should get used to you being the center of attention out here."

"I'm hardly the center of attention," I answered, sparing him a look over my shoulder. "There will be plenty of fancy-looking guests."

"None that look like you," he responded, eyes dragging down my body.

"You're laying it on thick!" I laughed. "Who would've guessed that hostesses had such sex appeal."

Jake just shrugged. "It's a force of habit. I've spent the past six years flattering my way into every new hostess' pants."

I smirked. "And that turned out so well for you, right?"

"They may have hated my guts after the fact, but I assure you both parties involved had a good time."

Shrugging again, I kept up the playful facade. "Oh, I don't doubt you had fun."

His brows lifted. "Are you insinuating I'm a selfish lover?"

"I'm not insinuating anything," I replied with a grin as I turned to flip through the reservations book.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him chuckle and lean against the bar between us. "I could show you. That'll erase any doubt from your mind."

I held the book close and smiled at him, leaning over just enough to draw his eyes exactly where I wanted them. "Promises promises."

Service was going surprisingly well. At least, Jake thought so. The guests seemed satisfied with their lavish evenings. Some even left generous tips. But, as Jake made the drinks, dishing each one out with a dazzling smile, he couldn’t help but notice Howard’s leering.

Lena was gorgeous, as always. She commanded the room in a way that made Becky, Rosalyn, and every other hostess they’d had at 22West look like amateurs. The silky blue of her dress reminded him of the night sky, soft and smooth and filled with stars if he looked at it long enough. But, no matter how nice of a dress it was or how alluring Lena looked in it, the whole thing didn’t sit right with him.

No one got that nice of a wardrobe working here. No one. Not even Becky had received such lavish and expensive tokens, and she’d been sleeping with Howard for months before he transferred her. At first, Jake thought it was just a coincidence that he’d caught the managers lingering gaze, but the night continued, and the gazes did too.

It didn’t matter where Howard was in relation to her; the reflection of that dress was always visible in his glasses. Jake might not have been the smartest bartender to grace the Earth with his good looks and raw skill, but even he was smart enough to know that this wasn’t normal. The outfits, the sudden change in her position, all of it stunk. He caught Howard staring one last time and ground his teeth together. He caught a glimpse of Simone as she headed down to the wine cellar; Jake leaned over and tapped Nicky’s shoulder. “Cover me for a minute?”

“You got it,” Nicky said, moving to replace him as Jake made his way down the stairs after the blonde.

She searched the wine racks with leisure, knowing each placement of each bottle by heart by now. Her eyes twinkled as she looked back at him. “Tonight’s been going well.”

“Yeah.”

The polite smile faded. “Is something wrong?”

Jake sighed, looking out at the second smaller kitchen in swing. “I don’t know.”

Simone held the wine bottle in her hands and took a step toward him. “Tell me.”

“It’s Howard,” Jake admitted.

“Did he say something to you?” She demanded, cold and angry in seconds.

Shaking his head, he gave her a reassuring look. “No, it’s just this whole hostess thing doesn’t sit well with me.”

Her face relaxed, and she smiled slightly. “I would have thought you’d be overjoyed with it. Lena, being upfront certainly makes it easier for you to stare.”

He rolled his eyes at her teasing. “It’s not that. Well, not just that.”

“What is it then?”

“I dunno. I just find it weird that Rosalyn all of a sudden has money to go to Europe.” He scoffed. “Bitch was poor as hell when I fucked her.”

Simone nodded. “That was some time ago.”

“Yeah, but then instead of doing interviews or anything, he just puts Lena as the hostess. He moves the stand, gives her these dresses and accessories, and then just stands there and stares at her.”

“You think there’s something going on between them?” She asked, tone curious.

Jake practically laughed. “Hell no! Lena’s too smart to fall for his bullshit.”

Simone’s eyes narrowed as she asked, “What is it you’re saying, Jake?”

“I’m saying Howard’s up to something.”

She knew what he was asking of her without him having to say it, and with a gentle touch on the shoulder and a reassuring nod, Simone said, “Relax, love. I’ll see what I can find out.”

He leaned into her touch and sighed. “Thank you.”

If anyone could find out what was going on, it was Simone. So, Jake returned to work with a sense of calm washing over him. She would handle it like she always did, meaning there was nothing to worry about.

Service was relatively smooth as the guests slowly began to filter out, leaving just three tables to wait on. Most of the servers gathered around the bar, gossiping and sharing jokes quietly as they waited for the last esteemed guests to take the hint and leave. I stood by the hostess stand, memorizing the names and tables set to join us tomorrow night, when a familiar chill swept across my skin.

I hated the feeling of eyes focusing on me, but I got used to it after a while in this dress, being upfront with all the people. The chill was something else, something far more unsettling than just a few long looks. As casually as possible, I looked around, trying to pinpoint where the lingering set of eyes was coming from. Howard watched me from the upper floor, and the group of gossiping co-workers shared multiple looks my way. A deep wave of nausea filled my gut as I slowly turned to the window and searched the shadowed figures moving through the streets. There was no visible reason for my body's reaction, no obvious sign of someone watching me, but that chill refused to settle.

After a minute or two of looking, I forced my eyes away and chose to ignore the feeling altogether, convincing myself it was just simple paranoia. I focused on Jake, watching him work the small crowd still sitting at the bar. I focused on his familiar movements and his cocky smile and dazzling eyes of mischief. I focused on the warmth that spread through my chest when those eyes met mine, and he graced me with a smug wink. I was here. I was safe.

Olive moved through the background of the bar, having been assigned to keep it well stocked since it seemed to be the least difficult thing for her to get right without Simone helping to remind her. All through the night, I noticed the tiny glares she gave Jake and me and how she'd purposely bump into Jake while he mixed drinks or reached for things. Whatever he'd said to her certainly pissed her off. While I found her attitude mildly amusing at first, that amusement vanished when her little bumps got rougher and more obvious over the course of the night.

Jake started wiping down the bar as the last remaining guests left. He made some offhanded request to Olive about putting the glasses away, and before I could even register what was happening, all hell broke loose. The sound of glass shattering filled the restaurant with startled gasps as all eyes looked to the bar. Jake’s low curse was what I heard loudest, though and my body was moving before I could recall telling it to. The second I rounded the bar, I saw blood coating the bartop and soaking through the rag he held to his arm.

White hot rage filled my chest as my eyes sifted, finding Olive’s big, fat, fake tears and her shocked breaths. “Lena-”

“What the hell?” I demanded, moving to place myself between her and Jake.

“It… It was an accident.”

“Like fuck it was!” I yelled, not caring whether or not I drew the attention of the guests.

Jake’s hand squeezed my arm, grounding me and pulling my attention back to the person that really needed me. “I’m gonna need a hand cleaning myself up.”

Keeping my eyes locked onto his face to ignore the stench of blood and the crimson color that stained his shirt, I nodded. “Come on. I think the first aid kit is in the locker room.”

We hurried through the kitchen, ignoring everyone's questions and Scott’s warning about getting blood in his kitchen. Upstairs Jake sat down on the sofa and continued holding the rag to his arm as I tore the room apart, trying to find the first aid kit. My heart was pounding in my ears, old memories and past pains making it difficult to stay in the present. “I can’t fucking believe her!”

"I’m sure it was an accident," Jake said calmly as I finally pulled the first aid kit out from a pile of clothes in the bathroom.

"Sure as hell didn't look like one from where I was standing."

“Alright, maybe it wasn’t an accident.” He chuckled. “Didn’t think she’d go that far, though. I’m kind of impressed.”

My hands shook, and my heart raced as the sight of blood - the sight of Jake's blood - threatened to pull me into full terror. “This isn’t funny.”

He bent his head down enough to catch my eyes, unable to reach out while he held the rag to his arm. "I'm okay. It's just a scratch."

Breathing out a shaky breath, I shook my head. "You shouldn't be scratched at all. Fucking stupid bitch."

Chuckling, Jake smiled. "I should get injured more often."

"What?"

"You look good, all riled up about my well-being."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "Don't get used to it." Nodding at his hand, I sighed, "Let's see."

He lifted the bloody rag from his arm, wincing slightly as the material peeled away from the wound. The cut was larger than I expected, starting from the center of his forearm and curving down toward his wrist. It wasn't nearly as deep as the last cut I’d tended to. "Guess I'm gonna have to cancel my morning boxing lessons, huh?"

"You shouldn't be out of the ring for too long," I reassured him with a sigh of relief. "But, you're telling Patrick."

"Cruel." His eyes watched as I cleaned and bandaged the cut easily. "You're good at this."

Part of me wanted to shrink into myself, to push him away from the trail of a past that still haunted me, but, to my surprise, I didn’t. Instead, I shrugged, a casual thing with more meaning than Jake would ever realize. “I had to deal with a lot of things like this growing up.”

“From the gym?”

“Some of it.”

“Did your mom…” He paused, knowing exactly how loaded the question waiting on the tip of his tongue was. “Did she hurt you like this?”

Lying would have been easier. It would have saved me from the slew of questions that would undoubtedly follow the truth. But again, I found myself opening up to him instead of shying away. “No. She favored blunt tools. Sticks and open palms, things that wouldn’t leave too noticeable of a mark.”

He nodded a brief understanding lingering in his eyes. “So, there was someone else then? Someone that made you get familiar with treating wounds and whatnot?”

My heart stopped, and I could feel my mouth open, the words, the admittance… the truth hanging on the tip of my tongue. Footsteps echoed from the stairwell, and a sigh of relief drew Jake’s attention away from me to the doorway, where Simone quickly entered. “Thank god you’re alright! Let me see!”

He waved off her concerned fussing. “I’m fine. Lena patched me up.”

“I cannot believe that Olive did this!” She huffed, examining his bandaged hand closely. “Accident or not, it’s just unacceptable.”

“I’m sure she’s all bent outta shape about it,” Jake replied with a grin.

Simone rolled her eyes. “Good to see the cut didn’t damage your poor sense of humor.”

I gathered up the garbage and closed the first aid kit, quickly moving away from the pair to collect myself. “A tiny cut isn’t enough to rid the world of my amazing charm.”

“Lena,” Simone said as I neared the doorway. I turned, looking at her as she gave me a simple nod. “Thank you for helping him.”

“It’s not a problem,” I replied, glancing at Jake before hurrying out the door and down the stairs.

It was an odd feeling that followed what could have been the biggest trauma dump I’d had since Cape Cod. Not disappointment but not relief. Something so mixed up and confusing that it sent a spike of panic through my veins. I’d almost told Jake everything. On a whim. Without any kind of prompting or an event that would force such a thing out of the cage I kept it inside. I’d almost shared the deepest, most scarred parts of myself with him of my own volition, and that was almost as terrifying as the thought of Tony waltzing through the restaurant doors like he used to all those years ago.

As I helped Nicky dish out after-shift drinks to the gaggle of gossiping co-workers, I resigned myself to tightening to locks on the cage. I trusted Jake. I cared about him. But I still felt so afraid that the truth would smother both of us. I was afraid that he would look at me differently if he knew everything, but truthfully, I was more scared of the possibility that the truth would change nothing. I was terrified that he would still look at me like I was beautiful and mesmerizing and… me.

The group burst into cheers and hollers as Jake and Simone joined us. Sasha threw an arm around the dark-haired bartender. “An injury! Whatever will you do now, poor Jakey?”

Ari smiled into her glass. “Relax, it’s not like he can’t still use his fingers. Or his tongue.”

Sasha slapped her arm, suppressing a giggle. “I’m talking about his bartending! Dirty whore.”

“I can still bartend,” Jake reassured the Russian. “Like I said, it was just a scratch.”

Heather glanced over at Howard’s office door. “I don’t envy Olive right now.”

“It will be a miracle if this doesn’t get her fired,” Nicky added.

“She won’t get fired,” I replied, scrubbing the bartop a little harder. “My mother will have seen to that.”

Simone frowned. “Well, I hope she’s at least learned a lesson.”

I shook my head and bit back a scoff. “I doubt it.”

Jake watched me scrub the bar for a minute before everyone stopped and looked at Olive as she exited Howard’s office, big eyes free of tears and a smug grin set on her face. That fucking bitch. I made a move to follow her as she exited through the kitchen doors, but Jake’s hand reaching over the bar and taking hold of my wrist stopped me. “Relax, princess. Scowl any harder, and you’ll burst a vessel or something.”

“This isn’t funny,” Simone chided. “You could have been seriously hurt, and she doesn’t receive any punishment?”

“It’s fine, Simone.” Jake nudged her with his shoulder. “I’ve had worse.”

“Irrelevant,” she replied, turning away from him as Howard appeared. “Howard.”

The manager merely looked at her. “Yes?”

“Walk me home?” Her voice was cold. It was clear this wasn’t a question but a demand.

He tilted his head slightly but gestured for her to follow him. “Of course. Goodnight, changelings.”

The tension slowly filtered out of the room as they vanished past the windows. Sasha sighed, holding his glass out for a refill. “Well, now that blondie has that handled, who is up for dancing?”

“Me!” Ari replied instantly, shooting up from her seat and following the leather-clad Russian to the door.

“Still coming to Ozzy’s with us?” I asked, setting the dirty bar rag aside.

Jake nodded, tossing his jacket over the bar to me. “Course I am. I gotta give Patrick the bad news.”

I laughed, not fighting with him about wearing the warm leather and joining him at the door as we followed behind our co-workers. “He’s going to be thrilled.”

Ozzy’s was buzzing with people and music when we arrived. Some Halloween decorations hung from the ceiling and the walls, an obvious attempt on Ozzy’s part to get it all up before Quinn’s birthday. We all moved through the crowd, running right into my brothers as they stood by the bar, waiting for an opening to get Ian’s attention for some drinks.

“FUCKING BULLSHIT!” Patrick hollered, looking at Jake’s arm with a scrutinizing glare.

Jake scratched the back of his head and shrugged. “Sorry.”

My brother sighed. “Well, guess we’ll have to focus on your legs or something til you’re back to a hundred.”

“Oh.” Jake looked surprised.

“What?” Patrick asked with a quirked brow. “Did you think a little cut was gonna get you outta training?”

“I mean kinda.”

“Not a chance, little brother. Not. A. Chance.” He laughed and clapped Jake on the shoulder. While my brothers moved up to the bar and ordered their drinks, Sasha, Ari, and Heather headed out onto the dance floor, and Jake and I joined Will and Prue.

"Where is she?" I asked Prue as I slid into the seat across from her.

"Work." Prue glanced around. "She should be off soon, though."

"Arcade again this year?"

"Hell yes!" Her enthusiasm was infectious as Will followed the conversation without a clue as to what we were talking about, but still, he got excited anyway. "It's her favorite place."

"Do we need to book it?"

"Already done."

I grinned, giving her a quick high-five. "You're a saint!"

Jake asked as he sat down next to me. "What are we talking about?"

"Quinn's birthday party. You wanna join the planning committee?"

He leaned forward with that mischievous grin of his. "Desperately."

"You can be in charge of the cake," I offered, relaxing back in the booth. It wasn't something I thought would be particularly challenging, especially considering how little Quinn cared about the cake, but the slight widening of Jake's eyes told me he considered it quite the task. "You don't have to."

"I can manage a dumb cake," he insisted with that deep-set scowl that was starting to grow on me.

"Quinn could care less about the cake," I continued. "She doesn't usually even eat it. It's more for everyone else."

Will's brows furrowed. "What does she eat then?"

"Candy apples!" Patrick proclaimed as he and Peter slid into the booth, shoving Jake into my side. "Nana makes 'em special for her every year."

Peter smiled fondly. "Nana makes sure everyone gets something special on their birthday."

"An angel, that woman," Patrick added lovingly. "Always makes me the best, booziest rum cake."

Will tapped Peter's shoulder, asking with a dumb grin. "What does she make you?"

Though it was a simple question, I could see Prue's eyes light up as she answered, "Jam. She takes Lena and Quinn berry picking and makes me my jam and a big plate of jam tarts."

Peter leaned back, closing his eyes slightly. "Can't wait for my batch of cookies this year."

"Same," I replied. "I won't have to try and smuggle them to you."

"What does she make you?" Jake asked, glancing at me as he took a drink of his beer.

Before I could answer, Patrick spoke, "The real question is, what doesn't she make on Lena's birthday?"

Jake turned to my brother with a chuckle. "Should've guessed Lena got the royal treatment."

"Lena's not special," Pat insisted. "She just gets a big party because that's when she got back."

"Got back from where?"

My brother's mouth shut. He scratched the back of his head, chuckling nervously as he talked over himself, trying to find something to say. Something that wasn't a lie, but that wasn't the truth either.

The truth. How was a person supposed to casually discuss how they narrowly escaped death at the hands of a rich and psychotic "ex" just a few days before turning sixteen? How could anything I said possibly explain the horrors every birthday previous to that had been filled with? The mixed emotions my birthday brought were a can of worms best left untouched, so I didn't meet Jake's curious eyes, instead letting my eyes lock onto Quinn as she emerged through the crowd. "There's the birthday girl!"

She welcomed the attention, not stopping until everyone wished her a happy, almost birthday. "All this love and attention is good for my skin." She sat down next to Peter, smudging glitter onto his shirt. "What'd I miss?"

"Nothing," I said quickly. "Just discussing your birthday."

She clapped. "Let me guess! Prue already booked the arcade, and now you're trying to find people to dump cake and booze on?"

I rolled my eyes. "We all know I'm on booze duty."

"Til the day we die bitch." Quinn laughed. "So, who's the poor bastard on cake duty this year?" Narrowing her eyes, she pointed at Peter. "Kiwi?"

Peter rolled his eyes at her new nickname for him, a term almost everyone had adopted upon seeing the fuzz growing on his head. Secretly, Peter enjoyed it. The kiwi fuzz meant he could get his old hair back. "Nope."

Her finger turned toward Patrick, who nearly rolled out of the booth to avoid it. "Don't even try to curse me like that."

Quinn frowned, shifting her gaze to Jake, who gave her a shrug. She clicked her tongue. "Oh, you poor boy."

"I've been assured the cake isn't a big deal," Jake said, looking at me.

"Course she'd tell you that," Quinn replied. "No one has ever been able to find me a good cake."

I rolled my eyes. "That's because you're a drama queen with impossible cake standards."

She shrugged, stealing Patrick's drink as he slid back into his seat. "I've never had a cake I liked. Sue me."

"If I could, I would."

"Why have you never had a cake you liked?" Jake asked, throwing his arm over the back of the booth behind me as he relaxed into the booth's shitty cushioning.

"I blame Halloween." She gestured to the decorations Ozzy had half-heartedly started putting up. "Everyone's so focused on the candy that they start neglecting bakeries."

Prue shook her head. "I'm fairly certain bakeries thrive in October."

Quinn signed and said, "Maybe I just hate cake. God knows I've had enough shitty cake to last me a lifetime and then some."

Everyone at the table could sense the shift in her mood, but Patrick and I felt it on a deeper level. The three of us hated our birthdays. Quinn and Patrick pretended they didn't, and maybe some part of them did enjoy the attention and the gifts and the celebration, but deep down, the pain of all those birthdays spent alone lingered.

Patrick spent every birthday on the street or among strangers until he found his way to our gym. Quinn spent hers cooking herself a cake and eating it alone while her dad was passed out on their sofa. And I spent mine either in the ocean or on the floor of a polished penthouse. Every birthday between us was spent blowing out those damn candles and making a wish. A desperate and stupid wish that would never come true. A wish that we'd each finally get what we wanted. A wish that our lives would somehow change for the better.

For Patrick, that was a home, a family of his own that loved and accepted him. It was a thing he'd found with us, but a thing that still felt like it wasn't entirely his. A damaged way of thinking that no one, not even my dad, could keep him from feeling.

For Quinn, that was happiness. She had a lot of happy moments since we became friends, but the joy and lightheartedness were still things she considered fleeting. A deep-rooted, broken part of herself that no one could repair but herself.

For me… For me, it was peace. I had good days, bad days, and the moments in between, but peace, true fucking peace, well, that was a fucking pipedream. Unlike the others, my wish hinged on a madman's whims. One that was determined to remind me this life I'd built for myself, that I'd fought and bled and killed for, wasn't permanent. Not while he lived.

Wishes were for children, yet we sat in front of the candles every year, closed our eyes, and made that same wish. Only the three of us knew, and while everyone else clapped and cheered, we all shared the same look. The look of tired hopefulness, clinging to our wishes while also preparing ourselves for the ultimate disappointment of them not coming true.

The conversation shifted, leaving the three of us sharing that look over the table as we carefully rejoined the world around us. No one noticed except Peter, who'd seen it all enough times to recognize it, and Jake. To my surprise, his eyes shifted from my face to Patrick's before they settled on Quinn. A look, realization, and something else made his face drop.

Familiarity. I realized. Jake knew what the looks on our faces meant because he had a similar experience. He watched Quinn closely for another minute, determination and resolve settling in those blue eyes like a storm. Whatever he had planned, he was going to make sure it happened.

The two of us hung out with the group for a while before we snuck out the back door and settled on the couch in the alley. Whisky was quick to jump into our laps, having taken to following us out or waiting for us on the couch. Burrowed against my chest, cloaked in the warm leather of my jacket, the cat purred contently as Jake rested his head against the alley wall. “How’s the arm?”

He turned his head slightly, glancing at me with a smile. “Worried about me, are you, princess?”

“Course not.”

“Bullshit.” He leaned over slightly, pressing his shoulder into mine. “You looked like you were gonna cry earlier.”

I rolled my eyes. “I absolutely was not!”

He chuckled, raising a brow. “No? You seemed pretty shaken up about it to me.”

That urge to tell him the truth returned, and I had to tighten my grip on it to keep it all from tumbling off my tongue. “I don’t like blood.”

“You seem fine with it when you’re boxing.”

“That’s…” I sighed, turning away from him. “That’s different.”

Jake sat up, the vulnerable curiousness that he’d shown in the locker room resurfacing. “I’m guessing it has something to do with what we were talking about earlier.”

“Jake,” I breathed out. “Please don’t.”

His fingers brushed against my leg. “As much as I wanna bug you about it… I’m not going to push it.”

“Thank you.”

“I get it,” he answered. “There are some things that just… need time.”

My finger smoothed down Whicky’s back, letting the rumbling purs lull the fear and tightness in my chest until it felt easier to breathe. “So, what kind of cake are you gonna get Quinn?”

Jake laughed. “Fuck if I know. I was just gonna ask you a million questions and get whatever you told me to.”

“That’s not how this works!” I insisted, slapping his arm. “You gotta fail on your own, just like the rest of us.”

“I’m not gonna fail.”

“Oh?” I teased. “You some kind of special hot shot baker now?”

Rolling his eyes, he shook his head at me, leaning back into his comfortable position, lazily petting Whisky’s little head as he poked it out of the top of my jacket. “Guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”

“I’m tingling with anticipation,” I mocked.

Jake's eyes sparkled. "I can think of a few better ways to make you tingle."

"Shut up."

It was always kind of weird being in an empty arcade, but I found that I enjoyed it. The games chimed and echoed their cheesy catchphrases in my ears as Prue, and I finished setting up the last of the birthday decorations. Will, Peter, and Patrick were scattered around the arcade making sure everything was ready for Quinn’s special night while the employees sat back and relaxed, knowing the drill well enough by now to know we’d refuse any kind of help.

We’d been at it for hours, making sure to cover all our bases and make the space reflect the over-the-top dramatic birthday girl. It was all just the way Quinn liked it, cheap and sparkly. Prue waved to get my attention, quickly signing, “Did you remind Jake about the cake?”

“No,” I replied. “I doubt he needs a reminder. He seemed pretty determined to get it right.”

“Text him?” She begged. “I want everything to be perfect!”

Smiling at her genuine concern, I nodded. “Aye, aye, Captain Prue.”

Hey, tough guy, don’t forget the cake.

The response was immediate. I didn’t forget the cake. Where do you want me to take it, though?

Nana’s. We’re going there after the arcade for food.

Sounds good. See you at 7.

Will exited the game area with a smile. “Everything is ready!”

Patrick and Peter both left the laser tag area with grins. “Laser tag is gonna be epic tonight!”

“Thank you, guys!” Prue sqealed, enveloping all of us in a big hug. “I hope she likes it.”

“She loves it every year, Prue,” I reassured her. “It’s going to be amazing.”

We spent the rest of the time running errands for Nana and making sure every part of Quinn’s party was going to be exactly how she wanted. It was the least we could do, and Quinn deserved every second of it. After Nana essentially kicked us all out, we waited outside the arcade for everyone to show up.

Beneath the neon lights and the distant arcade sounds, we all happily clamored together. Sasha and Scott were the first to arrive, followed closely by Heather and some of the cooks. Jake showed up later, smoking a cigarette as he hurried across the street, ears covered by one of his black beanies and his hands tucked safely in his pockets. The chilled air stung my legs as I leaned against the arcade door with a smile, arms perfectly warmed by his leather jacket. “You’re actually on time. I’m shocked.”

“I just finished dropping the cake off,” he answered, blowing smoke in my face. “Nana insisted I stay to test some of the food.”

Patrick groaned. “Lucky bastard! Nana never lets me taste the food anymore.”

Peter laughed. “Because your version of taste the food is having a four-course meal.”

“They’re coming!” Prue signed quickly as she bounced on her feet, still holding onto Will’s hand.

“Here they come,” I shouted to the rabble as Quinn and Ari rounded the corner.

Everyone cheered and sang and showered Quinn in attention as she walked, hand in hand with Ari, to the center of the crowd and bowed. “Oh my god, this shit’s even bigger than last year!”

Ari kissed her, staining her lips with the dark burgundy lipstick. “You deserve it, babe.”

I could see the blush that colored Quinn’s cheeks as she looked around at all the familiar faces with a smile. It was something she still wasn’t used to, having so many people actively here for her. After living the majority of her life with an addict father who could have cared less if she was there or not, it made sense that she’d be a bit starstruck by it all. I opened the door. “Come on, let’s go inside before everyone freezes, and this turns into a mass event rather than a birthday.”

The mixture of spooky and birthday decor fit Quinn’s personal tastes well, drawing her eyes in and bringing a bright smile to her face. “It’s fucking perfect, you guys!”

Ari tugged Quinn to the skeeball machines, giggling about how whoever got the highest score would get an illicit prize. Everyone fanned out, finding something to enjoy while Peter threw his arm over my shoulder. “Laser tag?”

“You fucking know it!” I replied with a wicked grin.

Patrick clapped Jake on the back. “We get the boy this time.”

I shrugged, confident in my skill. “Take him. I’m still gonna beat your asses.”

Jake raised a brow. “Wow, you sound real cocky right now.”

“Coming from you, I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“Let’s make a bet,” he suggested as we slowly followed Patrick and Peter toward the laser tag door.

“I thought we were gonna bet for drinks again.”

“That’s the general bet for everyone. I’m talking about another one, just between us friends.”

I smiled, curious about the idea behind that sinful look he was giving me. “I’m listening.”

Jake stopped just outside the door and leaned against the frame, his earring poking out of his beanie as he grinned down at me. “Winner gets a whole day where the loser does whatever they want.”

“So, when I win, you’ll have to spend an entire day waiting on my every whim?”

Chuckling, he shrugged. “If that’s what you want.”

“Count me in.”

We got geared up and were standing around listening to the safety speech when Jake’s hands squeezed my hips, and his lips brushed against my ear. “You’re gonna look so good in the pictures I plan on taking of you when I win.”

His words made my mouth run dry and my body heat rise. “Pictures?”

“Mhm,” he breathed, pressing himself into me. “Let’s just say I plan on getting up close and personal with those tattoos of yours.”

I couldn’t have contained the shiver that ran down my spine even if I’d tried to. Jake’s lips curled into a smile against my ear. “Sounds like you’re gonna be really disappointed when you lose then.”

His teeth scraped against my neck, forcing me to bite my tongue to hold in a loud moan. “Good luck out there, princess.”

He joined Peter and Patrick, leaving me with nothing but a wink to fill the loss of his body against mine. I quickly scoffed at him and turned to Will and Sasha. “Let’s kick their asses.”

The match started like every match did, with both of our teams trying to execute wild half-thought-out plans before the other could dwindle our numbers. Will and Sasha went to take the high ground while I stayed low, convinced Peter would still want to conserve some of his energy. The thick fog made it hard to tell which of the neon lights that surrounded the space was one of the vests belonging to my opponents or just decoration. I stayed close to the wall, intent on using the smaller walls to duck behind if the need arose. It was a good plan, one that didn’t account for Patrick’s insanity.

He dove out of the fog, almost tackling me. I would have tried to shoot him if Peter hadn’t of emerged from the balcony to lay down cover fire and drive me forward. Ducking under the walls and hurrying through the maze of fog and lights, I made it to the other side of the room, carefully moving out from my cover to aim down the path behind me. Patrick was like a bloodhound, so I knew he would be following me.

While my attention was on the maze I’d left behind, Jake slid out from his cover to my left. I caught the movement but turned too late. His hand grabbed the laser gun in my hand and tugged it to the side, his body moving forward just enough to press mine into the wall. I struggled against him for a minute, trying to free my gun from his grip, but with an aggravated sigh, I stopped. “Let go!”

Jake smirked. “Alright.”

While his hand loosened around my gun, he pushed himself forward and ducked his head down, his lips pressing against mine in a fervent and feverish kiss. I opened my mouth to him, tangling our tongues together as his now free hand disappeared in my hair while the other still held his gun. My head hit the wall as I tilted it back, desperately trying to give him more access to my mouth while I dropped my gun and gripped him by the hair.

The exaggerated sound of the laser tag gun going off echoed in my ears as my vest vibrated. I pulled away from his lips, looking down at my now-red vest and Jake's gun aimed at the sensors. He shot me. Looking up at his stupid smug face, my mouth fell open. He fucking shot me! Using the tip of his laser tag gun, he lifted my chin, moving his head back down until his lips hovered over mine. "Have fun buyin’ me that drink, princess."

“That’s cheating!" I slapped his arm, glaring as he pulled away with another wink. “Asshole!”

We never stood a chance. Patrick and Peter had effectively led me straight to Jake knowing full well he’d be more than capable of distracting me. And while I was lulled by the lustful need to feel Jake’s lips on mine, my brothers made quick work of my less skilled teammates. The perfect plan.

While the winners cheered as they exited the laser tag room, I scowled. Patrick laughed, squeezing my shoulders. “Don’t look so glum, sis! You put up a damn good fight at the beginning!”

“Oh shut up,” I growled shaking his arm off me. “Just figure out what drink you want, dick.”

Jake stood next to me, smug and insufferable. “So, what day works best for you?”

“Planning your little photoshoot already?” I questioned.

“Absolutely,” he answered, those fucking eyes running down the length of my body. “Got any red lingerie? I’ve got a vision.”

“I have plenty of lingerie,” I replied. “But you won’t be seeing them.”

He bit his lip. “Oh, you want a fully nude album then?”

In spite of my blushing cheeks, I scoffed at him. “You cheated. Why should I give you anything?”

“A bet’s a bet, princess.” He replied. “Unless you’re too… intimidated to pose for me.”

“November 19th. It’s a Sunday so we’ll both have the day off.”

Jake leaned forward, his breath mingling with mine. “It’s a date then.”

The remainder of the night was filled with dancing and karaoke. Quinn was having the time of her life, and I could tell that it meant a lot to her to have so many people show up for her birthday. Once it came time to head to Nana’s for food we all cashed in our tickets, walking away with shitty prizes that weren’t nearly as good as the frog I’d won last time. The air was cool and the walk was calming, though it was still difficult for me to keep my heart from beating wildly while Jake looked at me. I could practically see the scheming going on in his eyes as he examined every move I made, committing the poses he liked best to memory.

Nana had the whole diner decorated, food set out on every table and the entire staff present ready to holler. She stood between Ozzy and Abdul as Quinn entered, her face twisting into a beaming smile. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!”

She’d never admit it, but I saw the tears building in Quinn’s eyes as she looked around at the room of people she loved and let Nana’s arms wrap around her. “Thanks, Nana.”

“Anything for my girls,” the old woman said, pinching her cheeks. “Anything for you my Quinny.”

The food was immaculate as always, comprised of Quinn’s favorite meals and of course her candy apples. When the time for cake came Jake set a box in front of the birthday girl with a nervous shrug. “I did my best.”

Grinning evilly at him she started to open the box. “We’ll see about that, bar boy.”

The grin faltered. Ari was the one that pulled the cake out of the box, laughing at the comically large peach that resembled an ass perfectly. Written on the top was a simple message that Ari read, “A Peach for the Queen. Happy birthday Quinn.”

Everyone was silent as we watched Quinn look up at Jake with glossy eyes. “Where did you get this?”

“Had a few of the bakers at the restaurant whip it up.” He tried not to look like he cared as he shrugged his shoulder. “Sorry if it’s garbage.”

Quinn shook her head and stood, quickly pulling Jake into a tight hug. “It’s perfect. Thank you, Jake.”

He stood there awkwardly for a minute before he set a hand on her back and relaxed into the hug. “No problem, Peach Queen.”

Nana and Abdul lead the song, but I was too focused on Quinn’s face to sing along with them. She looked so happy, smiling like an idiot with Ari hanging off her shoulders, pressing kisses to her head and face. Her eyes looked around the room, taking it all in with a look of wonder that I’d never seen before. Ozzy clapped loudly. “Blow out the candle dear girl!”

She stared into the flame for a minute, closing her eyes tightly as she blew the candle out. More cheering and celebrating echoed in my ears as she looked at me. It wasn’t like the other looks, not tired or dumbly hopeful, but genuinely happy instead. Patrick and I glanced at one another, surprised and emotional smiles tugging on our lips and making our cheeks hurt.

Quinn’s wish came true. And that meant that maybe… just maybe ours could too one day.

The girls and I walked to Quinn’s apartment and settled in for our traditional sleepover. While Prue gathered the snacks together in Quinn’s tiny kitchen the birthday girl and I sat in her bed. Quinn was half laying back in a sea of pillows and soft blankets, letting me take the clips and braids out of her hair while she stared at the wall in front of her, still smiling.

"What'd you wish for this year?" I asked, running my fingers through Quinn's hair, gently removing the rhinestones and pins.

"A million bucks." She joked before shrugging, leaning further back into me. "Seriously though, this was the first birthday I've had where I didn't know what to wish for." Quinn looked up at me with tears building in her eyes. "This is the first year I've had everything I could ever want. I'm happy."

I wiped her eyes and smiled. "That's good, right?"

"It's weird," she insisted with a laugh. "Good weird, though."

"Good." Setting her accessories on my nightstand, I nudged her. "What'd you wish for then?"

Quinn snuggled into me. "I wished that everything would stay this way. Happy."

I kissed her head. "That's a really good wish, Quinny."

Sweet harmonies echoed in the glass house. Anthony stood at the window, gazing out at the bright city below as he languidly swirled the wine in his glass. His ringed fingers tapped along to the sounds behind him.

People sounded so different when they were underwater. Their bodies thrashed and struggled so much slower. Unlike most would think, the cold water made the pain more pronounced and more noticeable. The body would fight to conserve heat, and in situations like this, it would only see to the prolonging of its own suffering. The ways one could… Persuade the mind in the cold were numerous and long if done properly. Hot water, however - a scream echoed out amongst the orchestra.

Hot water made the blood vessels widen. It opened itself up in turn, allowing more inflammation. The heat made bleeding out far quicker, so one had to work quicker, but Anthony trusted his associate's skills in that regard. Jules knew Anthony favored using cold water to get information, but this wasn't about information. This was a lesson. A punishment.

"PLEASE!" He closed his eyes, savoring the sound as slowly sipped his wine.

He tapped his finger against his glass twice, and Jules saw to another dip in the scalding water for their guest. The screaming added so much depth to the music, something Anthony had always enjoyed about simple moments like this. After a few seconds of muffled thrashing and quick bursts of screaming, Tony set his glass down and rolled up his sleeves, turning to greet his guest with a smile.

He looked vastly different than he had when they first grabbed him. His face was swollen, and once pristine, well-cared-for skin was now marred by deep cuts and burns. Barely conscious, he struggled to beg, but that was fine. They were past begging anyway. His measured steps clicked against the marble floor until they stopped in front of him. Taking his favorite knife from Jules, Anthony smiled as they tore his shirt open. "Let's get started, shall we?"

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girlwholikestoread · 2 years

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My least favorite to My favorite books I read in 2022

23: We are totally normal by Rahul Kanakia: Okay first thing first this book made me incredibly uncomfortable; however not because of the sex but because this book did an amazing job capturing how cringe,annoying, and mean highschool students can be which I enjoyed. When books have teenagers I feel a lot of stories feel the need to make them more mature to better fit the plot but in this book they felt like real people you probably went to high school with…take that as you will. Anyways the book is about Nandan who never before liked guys but hooked up with his friend Dave, Nandan starts his journey trying to understand his sexuality. I didn’t love this book but I didn't hate it. I was excited to give it a chance because it seemed pretty heavily disliked. I understand the hate because Nandan is incredibly unlikable at times and I do feel bad for Dave at times because Nandan's actions hurt him, however Nandan is written to be a confused teen and never doesn’t do anything bad on purpose. The ending for me wasn’t my cup of tea and personality. I didn't want Nandan and Dave to get together since I think them being friends works better but not horrible. Overall not my vibe, but it made me laugh at times and I liked the realistic portrayal of teenagers.

22: Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers: First this book cover is beautiful and I love the idea of an workaholic overachiever doing something crazy and reckless as they slowly find themselves and it was sapphic on paper this book sounds amazing…but it was just okay, the book was pretty boring and I practically had to force myself to finish it. Grace Porter, our main character, gets drunk and marries a woman she doesn’t know in Vegas and that sounds really cool but the execution was a huge disappointment. None of the people in Grace's life including her best friends/ roommates, her parents, or even her love interest are written to be very interesting and Grace herself is pretty boring. I did however like the writing style the author chose for this book and the way the author describes the characters, setting, and what and how they feel is written beautifully and I truly enjoyed that. Overall it was pretty mid, My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

21. Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli: I bought this book to get a discount from Barens and Noble not because I wanted it. I haven’t read Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda nor did I see Love Simon so I came into this not knowing anything about Leah or the other characters. Despite that I thought the book was alright, nothing too special and pretty predictable but fine. The book is about Leah who’s getting ready for Prom and preparing to head to college, she’s a plus sized bisexual girl which is great to see and all the side characters are pretty cool. I’m not a big fan of Leah’s personality at times and her romance with Abby is fine and at times really cute, I like Abby encouraging her to pursue art that was nice. I also liked seeing Leah bond with her mom’s boyfriend and find the perfect prom dress that was really nice. Overall cute story. fun characters, and a nice romance, Nick deserved better

20. Across a field of starlight by Blue Delliquanti: Fun space adventure and first graphic novel I’ve read with two non-binary characters as the main character. Fassen and Lu have had a long distance friendship. I loved the artstyle and the diversity but I found the storyline super hard to follow to the point I can’t even give a real description. Fassen and Lu are both cool and I liked the characters but the storyline wasn’t for me. Overall beautiful art but hectic plot.

19. The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang: Adorable and charming. I really liked the unique art style in this book and the relationship between Prince Sebastian and Frances is very sweet. The graphic novel is about Frances who is a talented seamstress who is secretly hired to make dresses for Prince Sebastian who enjoys wearing beautiful dresses but can’t let anyone including his parents know because of his royal status. Sebastian and Frances' friendship is sweet and I love how they treat each other. I felt like their falling out was forced and I didn’t really understand why Frances was upset, but the last two chapters made me so happy. Overall I loved the artstyle, loved Sebastian and Frances friendship, and loved chapter 11 & 12.

18: The girl from the sea by Molly Knox Ostertag: Morgan and Keltie are adorable and the art style was gorgeous. This sapphic graphic novel is about Morgan who lives on a small island with her mom, little brother, and has friends. After accidentally falling in the ocean she's met by a fish girl named Keltie who she once met when they were both children, after saving her they share a kiss, Keltie then comes into her life saying her love transformed her from a seal to a human girl. It’s cute, it’s silly, and it's sweet. Bittersweet ending but a fun read. Overall sweet sapphic love story, seal girls are better than mermaids.

17. The Gravity of us by Phil Stamper:It’s basically what would happen if the moon landing happened in modern day. We follow Cal, a 17 year old journalist who has to leave his life in Brooklyn to move to Houston when his dad gets a job working as an astronaut at NASA. Cal is probably the most unlikable protagonist I’ve read so far but he gets better as you read the book . The romance between Cal and Leon was really nice and I really like Leon as a character and found him the most relatable. Overall fun read, Leon should have his own book.

16. Conventionally Yours by Annabeth Albert: I love Geeks falling in love. It's my favorite holiday. This book is a duo POV with Alden and Conrad, while I didn’t see it as enemies to lovers as the book is advertised I still really enjoyed it regardless. We follow Alden and Conrad as they go on a road trip together to make content for a YouTube channel they both make appearances on called “Gamer Grandpa” which they play a card game named Odyssey also plan on playing at an tournament to win money and an opportunity to play the game professionally. Learning about both the characters' struggles, family lifes, and why they need to win the tournament all while becoming closer and closer was so fun to read. I really like Alden and Conrad and think they made a cute couple. I'll admit I knew who was gonna win barely half way through the story but that doesn’t matter to me. I liked the romance and where the characters ended up at the end. Overall this book was adorkable and I wished Odyssey was a real game.

15. Out of Characters by Annabeth Albert: More Geeks falling in love but now ex-friends to lovers version. This book is also a duo POV with Jasper and Milo, Jasper was a minor character in Conventionally Yours and in this one he gets his own story where his old childhood friend Milo comes to him needing help after he lost his older brother expensive Odyssey cards in a game. Seeing Jasper and Milo reconnect was adorable and their adventure was so much fun to read. I also loved reading about Milo getting out of his comfort zone, making new friends, and better coming to terms with his sexuality. It was so great and he and Jasper have amazing chemistry. Overall friends to lovers is underrated and I need more books with the characters cosplaying.

14. The darkness outside us by Eliot Schrefer: This book was a mindfuck and I loved every single page. This was one of my first Sci-fi books and it is amazing! Ambrose and Kodiak are both sent into space on a mission, they have no memory of the launch and the only company they have is each other and the ship’s operating system which tells them to do their tasks and encourages them to follow their mission to get on Titian. Since the book is mostly building suspense and leaving small clues leading to the plot twist the romance isn’t that developed but I still think Ambrose and Kodiak are good together and I really liked them. Overall a great book and the ending is so satisfying.

13. You should see me in a crown by Leah Johnson: This book makes me so happy! We follow Liz an black gay teenage girl living in a primarily white and rich neighborhood. She has no interest in popularity but when she finds out the winner of prom queen gets scholarship money that can help her pay for her dream school she starts running and works hard to get votes. I related to Liz so much when it came to friends, her family, and feeling like she needs to protect the people around her. Seeing Liz reconnect with her old friend, make new friends, and her relationship with Mack is just so wholesome. Overall great book and I wish Liz was real so we could be friends.

12. Infinity Reaper by Adam Silvera: This seems hit or miss with some people but I loved it! This is the second book in the Infinity series. It’s hard to explain the plot without spoiling anything from the first book but I really enjoyed it and can’t wait for the next one. Overall Ness is my favorite character and I hope Adam Silvera doesn't kill him.

11. Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller: The Hype is real. It’s the story of Achilles' life Achilles told by his lover Patroclus. The two meet after Patroclus accidentally kills another boy over dice and his father Menoetius banishes him away. The two become friends and later start a romantic relationship. We see Achilles' life from childhood to when he fights in the Trojan war. It's written beautifully and it’s truly heartbreaking. Overall terrific book, Achilles and Patroculs are the best historical gays.

Honorable mention. Rogue Sun volume one: Cataclysm: Okay so this was a book my brother really wanted me to read so I gave it a chance and it was really good. We follow Dylan who is a regular highschool student who recently finds out his father passed away, when going to the reading of his fathers will he finds out his dad was the town's hero named Rogue Sun and he passed down his powers to him. I liked it, I thought it was a good mix of action and real life emotions and Dylan was a great main character and really grew on me, I also thought it had a nice twist. Overall not my usual vibe but I enjoyed it nonetheless

10. I kissed Sara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston: Casey McQuiston has never written a bad book in their life and I kissed Sara Wheeler is great, We follow Chloe green who goes on an adventure to find her academic rival and most popular girl in school Sara Wheeler after she kissed her on prom night then completely disappeared she has the help of Sara’s boyfriend Smith, and another character named Rory who Sara also kissed on prom night. Sara leaves small clues for them to follow to help find where she is. My only real issues is while I like Sara and Chloe I liked the side characters even more and wanted to see more of them, I wanted to see more of Smith’s exploring his identity and his relationship with Rory, other characters like Ash, Benjy, Georgia, and more seem like interesting characters who could’ve been so fun to read if given more attention. Overall fun mystery and I need a second book about Smith and Rory.

9. Red, White, and Royal blue by Casey McQuiston: I’m a basic bitch I know but I really did love this book.This book is about the first son Alex falling in love with the Prince of Wales Prince Henry. I really don’t know what to say about this book that hasn’t already been said but I loved it. This book is super funny and Alex and Henry had immediate chemistry which was so much fun to read. I wish the side characters like Pez, Nora, and June got more attention but since this is a romance I understand why they were sidelined. Overall sweet political romance and obtuse fucking asshole is the most romatic line in any book ever.

8. One last stop by Casey McQuiston: It’s probably slightly controversial having One Last Stop ranked higher than Red, White, and Royal blue but the main reason I ranked it higher is because I loved every single character and felt like everyone one had a nice conclusion unlike Red, white, and Royal blue and I kissed Sara Wheeler where I wanted more attention on the side characters. I also loved seeing August and Jane's relationship build while also trying to help Jane understand what happened to her and seeing August find herself on the way was great. Overall another great mystery by Casey MCQuiston, I’m a sucker for sapphic romances

7. Extraordinaries by T.J.Klune: This book is the reason I downloaded back Tumblr it fucking amazing! Gay superheroes, fanfiction, and a main protagonist who is hilarious and relatable this book is fucking awsome. We follow Nick Bell who is the biggest fan of a neighborhood superhero named Shadow Storm who fights his arch rival Pyro Storm. In this world people who have super powers are called Extraordinaries and Nick desperately wants to be extraordinary and to make his fanfiction come true by being with the super hero of his dreams. I’ll admit I didn’t love Nick much at first but she really grew on me. Not only is the book great but it also has great ADHD rep and LGBTQ rep. Overall my favorite superhero novel better than marvel movies

6. Every word you never said by Jordon Greene: This wins for having the prettiest cover I currently own. This book is also a duo POV following Skyler Grey an nonverbal boy who was just recently adopted and enjoys wearing skirts and dresses and Jacob Walters who recently came out and dealing with shitheads because of it including his own father. The book is about Skyler fighting for his right to express himself when Jacbo’s own father tries to make rules to stop him from doing so. Skyler and Jacob are adorable and seeing them get closer and closer was heartwarming. However the book does talk a lot about politics and the ugly side of christianity which made me feel uneasy at times but the romance and message was so strong I couldn’t help but love it. Overall clothes have no gender!

5. Winter Orbit by Everina Maxwell: To be completely honest this is probably the best written book I’ve read all year. The writing, story building, character building, and explaining of the politics of the world was written, in my opinion of course almost perfectly.The book is about Kiem and Jainan who are forced to marry to seal an alliance between their respective empires after Jainan pervouse partener was killed suddenly. However it becomes more complicated when a Jainan becomes a person in interest in his death. Admittedly the romance in this book is pretty secondary in the story and is mostly about Jainan and Kiem trying to prove Jainan is innocent, I still liked the romance tho and seeing Kiem being sweet and patient with Jainan who has a lot of unresolved trauma was nice. My only issue is that the book felt kinda slow at times but the end result is totally worth it. Overall I felt smart reading this book. Kiem is a sweet cinnamon roll who deserves the world.

4. Delilah Green Doesn’t Care by Ashley Herring Blake: I don’t usually like adult books but this is a huge expectation. This book is a romance between Claire Sutherland who is a single mom with an eleven-year-old daughter dealing with an undependable ex-boyfriend and Delilah Green who is hired to be her estranged step sister Astrid photographer at her wedding. Delilah had it tough growing up with losing her mom, dad, and living with her uncaring step mother and Claire had her own issues with being a single mom and dating. Delilah and Claire are sweet together and I really liked their relationship and it was a nice story. My only issues is that there is a side plot where Claire and another mutual friend of her and Astrid wants to stop her from marrying her dick head fiance and that pretty much goes nowhere in favor of the romance, I love Delilah and Claire’s romance but I would’ve liked to see more of then trying to talk sense into Astrid. Overall Cute and spicy sapphic romance can’t wait to read Astrid Parker doesn’t fail next year.

3. Heat Wave by T.J. Klune: FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC ending to the extraordinaries, The dad squad had my entire heart, seeing everyone work together to stop Simion evil plan of taking over Nova city was epic and the epilogue at the end its probably the best epilogue I’ve ever read in a book. However I wasn’t a big fan of the ending and what they decided to do to Owen and I hated how they kept talking about how “You shouldn’t see things as Evil vs. Good because things are more complicated than that” when Simion was very clearly evil and had only bad intentions but with the great plot twist, sweet moments, and of course the amazing epilogue I was able to get past it and enjoy a great conclusion to a great series. Overall this series was extraordinary and Jazz is a badass.

2. Flash Fire by T.J. Klune: This is more just me. I tend to like the second book in trilogies the most and this wasn’t any different. Seth is my favorite character and in Flash fire he gets more attention and I loved that. This is also when we learn more about Nick’s mom Jenny who passed away 3 years ago and Nick learns more about himself, in this we learn more about Simion’s plans, we also meet new characters like Mateo/ Miss Conduct, Jerry the burrito guy, and T.K who are all introduced in a cool and funny way. Overall Second time is always the best and Pyro Storm is bae.

1. Cinderella is dead by Kalynn Bayron: Words can’t describe how much I love this book but I will try. This new dark retelling of Cinderella's story takes an unique and cool spin on a classic. We follow Sophia who lives in a world 200 years after Cinderella found her prince charming and “Lived happily ever after” Ever since the king forces the people in the village to live their lives following Cinderall’s story. Sophia has no interest in marrying a man and would rather marry her childhood friend Erin but is forced to go to an annual ball and find a husband or else. I love this fast paced story about fighting the patriarchy and learning the real story of Cinderella. Sophia and Constance bounce off each other perfectly and I love their chemistry, not much romance but the book was so good it honestly doesn’t bother me. I loved this book so much and it’s my absolutely favorite book in 2022. Overall I loved a dark retelling and Sophia is a girlboss.

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anonymouslylovesyou · 6 days

Text

Season 3 episode 3 @whoblewboobear

Ok last ep ended with Colin and Penelope kiss, this ep starts with Penelope and Colin in a garden? I think possibly a dream sequence

I almost think this is too fast paced but also Daphne and Simon where married 4 and a half episodes in

Oh they are fully making out now. OH COLINS DREAM I was right!

Gregory's arm broken causally

Colin is not being normal about his dream at all

Ah Eloise guiltand Colin is so fuciing bad at being chill, where is all that charm you allegedly learned

Queen: do you want me to execute that guy for you Lady Danbury

ELOISE VISITING LETS GO

Possibly as good at that visit could've gone actually

Colin forgot about lessons he wants to kiss here again so bad it makes him look stupid again

Cressida's mom is pushing Lord Debling

Alice's dress fucks severely

Oo Debling is getting along well with Penelope, he seems nice enough

Babes you have to drink this concoction like a shot, don't sip it

Why does Penelope have only one glove on

Colin you whore why are you staring at her mouth hmm

Cressida almost quit on this man I could see it in her eyes

Oo love Colin's fit here

If anything bad happens to Will and Alice I'm killing everyone here and then myself

Cressida lying off her ass about liking nature and Penelope trying her best to also participate in the conversation but that's going badly

Yikes this is actually embarrassing

Colin is jealous tho

One of Penelope's sisters the one more recently married accidentally causes a disaster

Colin running to save the balloon

ITS WAS ABOUT TO HIT PENELOPE

Debling covered her with his body and Colin and the other guys stopped the balloon

Cressida pretended to be injured to get Debling to pay attention to her

I love the music in this show it's so fun

I'm glad Eloise and Colin aren't fighting anymore

Will becomes a noble and yet where is Simon to visit him hmm? <- guy who misses Simon

This season was made for me bc Penelope, Eloise and Colin are both some of my favorite characters

Queens pick: I want like 8 kids

Francesca: I need to leave right now

Guy is hitting on Violet??

LADY DANBURYS BROTHER

Benedict was trying to hit an a widow

Oh no Will has been told no working for rich people

Oh "honest about your feelings" huh Colin?

PENELOPE SALVAGING THE LORD DEBLING THING WONDERFUL

Eloise babe Cressida doesn't get to wait and marry for love anymore she's not you

Colin trying so be chill and normal asking his mom about love

Oh he's just fucking going for it????

Ooo blocked by Debling, rip Colin

WHEEZE BABE ARE YOU FR USIJG YOUR GOSSIP PAPER TO TALK ABOUT THE GUY COURTING YOU??

I am very surprised to say it but rip Cressida

#boobear

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astradreaming · 2 years

Text

Found Father!Ghost x child!reader PT.2

Warnings: Fem!Reader Word count: 907 (Sorry its really short) o(TヘTo) ) A/N: I thought I posted it already but it only saved in drafts rip. ♡ Hope you enjoy it! Have a good day/night lovely's ♡

masterlist

Oh, I know.

Living with Ghost was weird. His apartment was small and mostly bare, only having essential things there. It had two bedrooms, one was significantly smaller than the other. The first was the size of a normal bedroom the other the size of a small office or a big supply closet. Ghost Simon originally had the bigger room but since you'd moved in he let you have it claiming 'He couldn't sleep in there anyway.' And 'Too much noise in that room.' It was lies. You couldn't hear anything from outside the room. And he knew damn well the disruptions in his sleep weren't because of what room he was in. He however wouldn't admit that.

You'd managed to get him to buy some decor for the flat. Most of it is fairly girly. (at least in comparison to him) Every time you'd go shopping with him you'd beg him into buying another stuffy you'd seen he would grumble under his breathe something along the lines of 'if the team saw this bloody house' but he'd always put the stuffed toy (or on occasion a pink fluffy blanket) in the basket with the rest of the items he needed.

You'd learned pretty early on that Ghost Simon was really bad at cooking anything other than something out of a tin can. So you got to try all of the closeby takeouts and even made a tier list of your and his favorite places. Living with Simon was exciting and strange.

Just like today was exciting and strange. It was your first day at a new school. Having to meet new teachers and new students. The attention of being a new student was slightly overwhelming. Everyone in your class came to ask you all sorts of questions, giving you tips on who to hang out with and who to avoid, which teachers were scary and which were nice. It was a lot to take in.

You thought about your day as you stood at the front gate scanning the crowd in the street, looking for Simon. At the beginning of the day, you wanted to go straight back home to the apartment but then the teacher Miss Katie was nice to you which made you feel better. You sat at what would be your desk for the rest of the year.

You sat next to a boy, his name was Billy. He had faded green dye in his hair but his dark brown hair was showing through. He had a slightly floppy mohawk. You'd told him about Johnny who shared his hairstyle taste. He'd told you it was because his favorite dinosaur also had a hawk so he had to get one too. He even let you play with some of his toys at lunch. That made you feel better.

The schoolwork wasn't too hard, your previous school had already covered fractions, so you had some idea of what you were doing. You remembered the homework you'd had on it, how your father had tried to help you with it after work but he'd given up by the time dinner was ready. You remembered how in the morning after your oldest brother had helped you understand it whilst eating the breakfast your mother had made. It made you sad, knowing mornings like that will never happen again. But you had new mornings where you'd be woken up by the fire alarm because Simon tried to make pancakes and instead you'd both decided Macdonald's sounded better.

Finally, you'd found him in the crowd of people and classmates. In the distance, you could see Simon talking with a woman you'd never seen before. Grasping onto your backpack you begin to walk over to him. "See you tomorrow ey!" Billy yelled out. You turned around back towards the gate. You see him waving goodbye at you rapidly, and you repeat the action back to him. Turning back on your path to Simon.

The conversation Simon and the woman were having was cut short as you approached and Simon's attention drifted to you. He reached out to take your bag for you. "How was your first day kiddo?" You beamed up at him. "I made a friend" He raised his eyebrow with a smile. "So not as bad as you thought huh" You hummed in agreement, nodding your head slowly. The woman tuned into the conversation

"My son is about your age, perhaps the two of you could have a playdate on a weekend, what's your name?" She said as she slightly leaned down to your height. You shyly looked over to Simon "Uhm, y/n." You quietly muttered. "My name is Jessie, I'll talk to my son Ron about it," She said with a soft smile looking over to her watch she says "I've got to go but it was very nice to meet you y/n, and you Mr. Riley." She stood up again and muttered to Simon "Your very lucky to have such a lovely daughter" before walking further towards the gate.

You turned back around, looking up once again at him. "Oh, I know," He said so softly that if you weren't as close to him you probably wouldn't have heard it. You smile and took his hand and began to walk toward the car.

Life might be different now and might not be anything like before but if you were with Simon Dad then it will be okay.

Tags: @uwu-i-purple-you ♡

#simon riley as a dad #simon riley x daughter!reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley #modern warfare 2 #cod mw2 #mw2 x reader #i cant tag omg #simon ghost riley x reader

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negansbackdoorwhore · 3 years

Text

Stubborn

Summary: Negan and you have argument and he feels threatened whenever he sees you getting friendly with other Saviors

Warnings: angst, fluff

“Hey! We aren’t done here sweetheart.”

“Fuck you Negan. You knew that I was uncomfortable and yet you pushed it.”

You say as you throw the black dress at his face and turn to away from and cover your body in your favorite hoodie.

“How many times do I have to tell you that you’re fucking beautiful.”

“It doesn’t matter how you see me, what matters is that you made me wear it when I was clearly upset.”

“All my wives wear it. So why should I give you special treatment princess? I’m the reason your cute ass is still alive and I do so much to be sure you don’t have to work.”

“Okay. Always bringing that up, if you really cared as much as you claim. Then you wouldn’t make me do this bullshit.”

“Leave. Before I say something even worse baby.”

You stomped out and slammed his door as you hurried to your room. It was then you cried into your pillow and thought about the cruel words Negan had said. You couldn’t stand him but missed him terribly for the next few days and grew more depressed when he had Amber and Frankie under his arms. You knew he was purposely doing this when he would looked into your eyes when he passed by you.

It made you feel furious and it only got worse when he didn’t even ask for you for the past week. The other girls didn’t think of bothering you since they all could tell you were so upset about it. The only person you trusted was Simon. He was actually nice and sat with you to talk about how you felt. Sometimes he was friendly enough to share his booze with you. Luckily for you, he brought a bottle and knocked on your door.

“Hey Simon.”

“Could use a drinking buddy for the night. Think you can handle it?”

“Is that a challenge.” You both laugh and chat for a few moments and then see Negan walking behind Simon. You both went quiet as Negan stepped between you two and glanced at Simon.

“Am I interrupting something?”

“No.” You say as the situation felt awkward and watch as Simon tries to ease the tension.

“Do you need me somewhere boss?”

“Not you.” He says before looking down at you with crossed arms and points his index finger in your direction.

“But you, I want to speak with you in my room.” This time you didn’t fight when he took your hand into his and waved bye to Simon. Negan gave your hand a squeeze as he continued guiding you throughout the hall. You still felt upset with him but admittedly you had been missing him crazy. This was enough, even if he was just holding your hand. Soon he was opening the door to his room and let you enter before him.

“What do you need me for?”

“Like I said, I want to talk about the fight we had.”

“Okay.”

Negan sits down on his bed and gently pats the empty space next to him. You followed by sitting with him in silence for a few minutes before he speaks up.

“Why were you with Simon?”

“What?”

“You heard me baby. Why were you with him?” You stuttered and felt nervous as he stepped in front of you.

“Why do you want to know so bad?”

“Because you’re my girl. And I don’t want you around that asshole.”

“He’s just a friend! Unlike some people, he was actually nice and cared to talk about my feelings.” Negan growled and threw you onto the bed and you could only see anger in his eyes as he climbed on top of you.

“I fucking do care. You don’t understand-“

“You’re the one who doesn’t care! Especially how you flaunted the girls in my face when you knew I was upset. And that you never even wanted to talk until you saw me with Simon you asshole!” You say as turn away from him and try not to let the stinging tears fall on your cheeks. He stared down at you and could feel that he was awful.

“Baby, please.”

“Just stop. You don’t care about me so why should I stay here.” He reached to wipe away your tears and you let him. Negan rested on his side and opened a space to let you slide in next to him. You hesitated but curl into his chest. Laying in silence with him felt awkward as he gently played with your hair.

“Baby, I’m sorry. I just, fuck how do I say this.”

You looked up at him and watch him stutter around.

“Look I love you. You know that right?”

“Yes…”

“I do care it’s just I want to show you off and I like seeing you girls in the best clothes around. Even in this shitty world I want to pamper you all. And you mean the world to me.”

“I like my baggy clothes and it feels like you’re trying to change me.”

“I didn’t mean to do that. I just want you to feel special and be treated as such baby.”

“I don’t need that, you make me feel special whenever we’re together. I don’t want anything else besides you.”

He couldn’t fight the smile on his lips as you hugged him tightly.

“Dammit baby. Turning me all soft and shit.” He giggled before giving you a quick kiss. You grin and Negan begins getting all cocky.

“Haha! Fuck yes! I got you to smile baby.” He reached to pinch your cheek. You laugh and let him be all lovey dovey to make it up to you.

#jeffrey dean morgan #jeffrey dean morgan x reader #jeffreys thirst squad #jdm fanfiction #negan smith #negan x reader #negan x you #the walking dead negan #negan fic #negans thirst squad #negan #negan x y/n #twd negan #sanctuary negan

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4ragon · 3 years

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I'm not the original anonymous but I would extremely want to see that essay about Apollo's trust issues.

Also since I just finished Spirit of Justice, do you think Lamiroir ever told Trucy/Apollo about her and if so what would be their reactions?

Let’s see if I can write this up without crying again like I did on twitter.

So a while ago a friend of mine asked me why I liked Apollo, and I really couldn’t put my finger on it. I knew he was my favorite, but unlike Simon Blackquill, I hadn’t done that deep dive into figuring out why. I’d always just sort of loved him, and was never able to pinpoint the part that made me care about him so much. It drove me crazy, too, I love rambling about characters that I love, and I love writing from Apollo’s perspective more than anything. So why did I love him? Why did I care about him?

Well. I figured it out. I figured out my answer.

I think there are two things that characterize Apollo more than anything. One: He has trust issues. He genuinely believes that the people around him don’t give a shit about him. Especially after being betrayed multiple times in that first trial, he truly and deeply believes that the people around him are only trying to hurt him and is too scared to really believe that they care about him.

And two: He cares so much about the people around him that he constantly helps them anyway.

So like. And I won’t tag her because I don’t think she’d appreciate it, but I was watching the laquilasse AA4 stream last night, and the entire opening of Turnabout Corner is so striking to me, especially right after the end of Turnabout Trump. At the end of Turnabout Trump, Apollo’s trust and belief in Phoenix is finally and thoroughly shattered, and Apollo lashes out, punching Phoenix in the face. And for good reason! That was a huge breach of trust! Apollo literally did the exact thing that got Phoenix disbarred, namely present evidence that wasn’t real. Sure, they never exactly claimed it was the real deal, but Apollo didn’t even know it was faked, he just trusted Phoenix and this new piece of evidence and it almost fucked him over. It did sort of fuck him over, he did lose his job and his Mentor.

And then, Phoenix calls him and says that they’re in trouble, and Apollo doesn’t even question it, of course he shows up to help.

Like. You can feel how much he mistrusts Trucy on their first meeting, in everything he does and says. Especially when Trucy and Phoenix are in the same room, he’s actively thinking about how he doesn’t ‘buy their act’ when Phoenix is calling Trucy daughter-ly nicknames. And then, in a way, he’s kind of right? They guilt him into essentially being their errand boy, and I feel like they’re constantly and loudly using him throughout so much of the game.

And Apollo was there anyway. Apollo doesn’t even trust them and he’s still there the first instant Phoenix says he needs his help.

Like you can loudly do and say whatever you want and crush his dreams and betray his trust, and despite everything, there’s always that part of Apollo that desperately needs to help anyone who asks him. He can’t even bring himself to trust them, and he’s still crawling back the moment someone needs him, ready to let them disappoint him over again.

Like this struck me about Apollo from the moment I played AA4, but he’s so lonely? And desperate for connection? He cares so much about a world that has always and consistently never cared about him, and he just keeps caring and keeps caring even as that starry-eyed naivete is ripped away. And I feel like he just wants someone to care about him back, but never really able to believe that they do, because they never really seem to, because every time he allows himself to trust it’s just thrown back in his face so horribly.

Here’s an interesting thing I noticed: in Turnabout Trump, there’s a really interesting line. Phoenix has accused Kristoph of being the murderer, the extra person in the room. Kristoph takes the stand and claims to have witnessed the moment Phoenix committed the murder. And this exchange happens:

Apollo: There must have been someone else there at the moment of the crime!

Kristoph: Justice... I just said I saw no one. Not a soul.

Apollo: B-But, that goes against what Mr. Wright said!

Kristoph: Ah yes, this mysterious "fourth person"... ...who would conveniently be the "real killer", I suppose.

And this is well past the point where Phoenix has accused Kristoph of being that person. There’s no possibility at this point that they’re both innocent, it’s either one or the other. And Apollo is still so desperately trying to find a way for them both to be innocent, basically saying, “Just give me a fourth person and I’ll believe you.” And then Kristoph turned out to be a monster, and then Phoenix turned out to have betrayed Apollo from the start, and as far as Apollo is ever aware, none of the care from either of these men was ever real. He trusted, and he suffered the consequences.

But again. He’s still there. Someone pointed out a while ago, but Apollo stays. Apollo shows up to the Wright Talent Agency under false pretenses, and he complains and hems and haws, and he still stays. Why?

Phoenix and Trucy loudly manipulate him into working their case. They’re perfectly happy to flaunt that they’re basically tricking him. And he stays. Why?

Because Apollo can’t trust them, but he wants to so fucking bad. He doesn’t even seem to like Phoenix that much, but he wants that connection so fucking bad. He cares about them so much and he doesn’t believe for a second that they extend that feeling back at him, and he’s compelled to stay anyway.

He knows Trucy is practically using him, and he’s a sobbing mess when he thinks she was kidnapped for a few minutes. He’s cynical and mean and it’s all just to cover up the fact that he loves all these people around him with all his heart and they never once pay it back. And he comes back anyway. He’s like a fucking loyal dog that is never given enough affection and so he’s constantly trying harder and harder to earn that love while never believing he’ll ever really get it.

(Shit nope crying again)

It’s just so sad. And this is all without adding anything from the 3D games. The 3D games do build on this theme in one way or another, but from the get go, this is who Apollo is. A caring young man who is constantly punished for caring and yet can’t stop caring anyway.

We see it again in the 3D games. And I think part of why I don’t enjoy DD as much as SoJ is that DD doesn’t capture this mistrust the same way. It’s so surface level, that sense of betrayal and mistrust and anger he gets consumed by in that final case. And the worst part is it doesn’t have to be! There’s already that foundation! Apollo has been hurt already a million times. The only person he’s ever been able to trust, the only lifeline that’s kept him above water since he was a child, was Clay Terran, and now that was taken from him because he DARED to trust someone new. That’s so fucking compelling! But we never get that! We never get to see how Apollo is feeling. We get that he’s convinced Athena did the murder, but never really get into the Why, into the What This Means for Apollo.

It’s a bit better in SoJ. We see how far he’s come in terms of trusting people when he trusts in Trucy wholly and immediately in case two. And then, conversely, we see his mistrust and hurt when they introduce Dhurke into the mix. Apollo refuses point blank to believe that Dhurke had come to visit him, that Dhurke cared about him. Apollo demands to know why Dhurke was there, what Dhurke wanted, how Dhurke was going to use him. He’s been able to slowly start building that trust with people like Trucy, but he still cannot let himself trust again when Dhurke had already betrayed that trust.

I said it before, but as much as I hate the slapdash ways in which Capcom keeps throwing backstory at this boy, I love what the backstories are, because they build on this angry, cynical, lonely young man I care about so much. He’s been hurt and abandoned and used and betrayed since he was young, and being good never truly paid off for so long, but he kept doing it, he kept being good, he kept caring about people because he couldn’t help it, and kept hoping that maybe they could care back. And eventually I think it does start paying off for him. People do start caring about him. And I feel like it takes until around SoJ for him to start really believing that the people around him might care about him too.

Also congrats on finishing SoJ! Since there’s a very good chance that they might be announcing AA7 soon, I...hope? fear? expect? that they’ll touch on this then. However, I also worry that they’re going to botch it up so hard.

I know what I want to happen. I want Trucy to be angry. I want her to be angry at Lamiroir and Phoenix. She is constantly putting on a mask to try to make the people she loves happy, and I feel like this is a reasonable breaking point. After all, this is kind of the one thing that Phoenix hasn’t been honest with her about. She had a brother right there, and knew the whole time?! She had a mother there the whole time?! And no one bothered to tell her?! I think she’d be heartbroken, and I think she deserves to be angry. She’s been through so much, and they never give her time to really grieve or be upset.

I think Apollo would be ecstatic and angry at the same time. All he’s ever wanted was family, and now he does! He already loved Trucy, and thought Lamiroir was amazing, so I think he would be so happy to have that family back in his life. On the flip side, I do think he’d be angry at Phoenix, particularly for keeping it to himself before Lamiroir came into the picture, but I think if they talked it out, Apollo would come around to it and be able to forgive Phoenix.

#ace attorney #apollo justice #it's time to cry about apollo again god help me #spoilers #ace attorney spoilers #aa4-6spoilers #i love this boy so much I don't know if this does it justice #meta

123 notes · View notes

khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

I really said fuck classes who needs notes anyway (i do I have 5 tests in the next two weeks)

before I post my live blog here, I feel like people really underestimate how bad rumors are and how much they fuck with your mental health. they don't lose sleep over them, they don't think twice. but these things are harmful as fuck. they leave wounds that take so long to recover from because you keep on thinking about these lies who to others are "just words"

I've been there. it's not fun. I wish I had the courage back then to stand up to those rumors which I have now. these things never leave you. others might move on but the healing process is a journey that is long and hard. I wish more people understood just what effect their words can have.

Yeah, he knew a thing or two about family members going overboard with glitter.

IT'S RAFAEL CENTRIC GHSYGUJDUYDFUIKFDUIDFIUDF

TAVVY

DCSUIHDCSUIDUYUDICUIVSDUIHFVSUILFBUHKIFSV

I feel like I keyboard smash A LOT

“You will never drink even if you are not riding the bike,” Dad had pointed out – all Consul Voice and threatening glares. “The legal age for drinking in New York is 21.”

“But it’s 15 in Idris!”

“Well unfortunately for you, we are in Exile,” dad had grinned.

DAD ALEC UHIKSFDUIHKSGUIKSDVUIHKDVUHIKSVD

Max had a habit of ‘borrowing’ things and selling them on eBay. In his brother’s defense, Bapak had so many clothes that he never noticed when things disappeared. But Rafael did since he had a habit of wearing his father’s clothes.

The warlock – not the shadowhunter.

He wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those sweaters.

Now that Rafael was 18, he was almost as tall as his father.

The shadowhunter – not the warlock.

I AM SCREAMING

I love how he's clarifying which one he's talking about

“Do you know I used to have a crush on Lily Chen?” Tavvy blushed. “But then I found out she made out with Helen once and it kinda got weird.”

Ah yes. I remember. Does Rafael know that Alec also walked in on them?

ARCHITECT TAVVY

SDHDVUHDFSV,YDSFVUYVSFFUSVFUVFS

SHADOWUNTERS ATTENDING MUNDANE COLLEGES

“Dude, college kids don’t give a shit,” Tavvy laughed. “You could walk into a lecture covered in runes, holding a seraph blade and they wouldn’t give you a second look.”

“Cause they are chill?”

“Yes. But mostly cause they are dead inside,” Tavvy chuckled.

Surprisingly that's exactly what my grade 6 prefect told me (DAMN WHY AM I ALWAYS REMEMBERING GRADE 6 IT'S BEEN YEARS. that was a horrible year *shudders*)

ANJALI IS A CENTURION

LMAO THIS IS WHAT RAFAEL MEANT WHEN HE SAID HE WOULDNT WANT TO GO TO THE SCHOLOMANCE FOR PERSONAL REASONS

I still ship them.

“The meeting is going to go perfe-What is SHE doing here?”

Well, that was a quick change-

Unlike Aunt Maia, Lily did not like to be called Aunt Lily. So, Rafael respected her wishes. Max of course continued to call her Aunt Lily and sometimes Abeula Lily since his brother had a pathological condition of pissing people off.

THAT'S SO MAX OMG JHSXUHSCUHISDHUHUKIDVS

great now I miss Raphael

I HAVE A CLASS IN 7 MINUTES STOP MAKING ME CRY

that is so thoughtful of him though...

tears.

“There are no photos of Raphael,” Lily sighed.

“Because he is a vampire?” Tavvy asked sympathetically.

“Because he is Raphael,” she grinned. “Vampires can most certainly take photos. You should follow me on Instagram. My handle is simp_for_carstairs.”

Of course, it is. No one is surprised.

Tavvy picked one up, took a large bite and it threw it back immediately. “Holy shit, that’s spicy!”

“White,” Lily and Anjali snorted at the same time.

white people and their bland foods smh

“She is not wrong,” Lily nodded seriously. “I’m a Jem Carstairs fan first and a vampire second.”

As she should be

UHDSUHDFSUHFDH ANJALI AND RAFAEL COMPETING ABOUT WHO'S LILY'S FAVORITE

He observed Anjali’s long dark hair spilled over her shoulders as her eyes stayed on Lily – sharp, protective and beautiful.

"Beautiful"

I AM NOT LETTING THIS GO

I'm THE DAMN CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP

FUCKING RUMORS

I'm GONNA KILL SOMEONE

“Shadowhunters are awful gossips,” Anjali said. “Let’s not waste our time with this nonsense.”

There was something in her voice. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.

No, wait I want to know what was in her voice.

But no. It couldn’t be. They weren’t dating.

YET

Rafael was sure there was something more than friendship between them. But David was polite to a fault and Max was an oblivious little shit. So, obviously nothing had happened yet.

OH MY GOD THESE TWO

But this was different. He would tolerate rumours about himself. But he would not tolerate rumours about his family.

I and Rafael will beat up the people who spread these rumors together :D

“She once told me she likes sipping tea more than drinking blood.

I-

same.

NOT THAT I DRINK BLOOD-

RAFAEL LMAO NO

"I hate her she's so annoying"

continues to daydream about her and how tall she'd be without those boots, lies to tavvy about her dating someone

Why did he do that? What was the purpose? Did he not want other people to date just because he wasn’t dating anyone?

And he calls Max oblivious.

oh class started

shit

IDC IDC I'LL STILL BE READING

LEXI AND SELENA ARE AT THE ACADEMY

JACE HYPER FIXATING ON THINGS BECAUSE HE'S BORED IS SUCH A MOOD

“David and I added rosemary to this one,” Uncle Jace wiped his hands on his apron. “It has definitely improved the taste, hasn’t it?”

“Save me,” David mouthed from behind the man.

LMAO POOR DAVID

“Empty nest syndrome,” Rafael chuckled. “I’m glad neither Max nor I had to leave home. My fathers are much worse.”

He remembered his first sleepover at the institute. His parents had waited for “an excruciating hour” before crashing the institute and joining the sleepover themselves.

yup, that's them.

“David,” Rafael grinned. “Are you afraid of my father?”

“What? No! He is the just a regular person…who can throw me in the silent city any time he wants,” David rambled and then shook his head. “Where is Max?”

He tried to sound nonchalant. But Rafael noted the way the other boy’s eyes fluttered every time he said Max’s name.

Just the way a crooked smile appeared on his brother’s lips every time someone said David’s name.

Idiots

ok, there is so much to unpack here.

DAVID HAS A VALID REASON OK??

These two are such IDIOTS HUSDUHISCUIDSVCUIHVSDUHI

“Max said Bapak is biased, and that he needs an unbiased tutor. Uncle Ragnor volunteered,” Rafael chuckled. “God bless the poor man.”

“Max isn’t that bad,” David replied.

“Looks like you’re biased too, David,” Rafael winked and picked up a spare bow from the training room.

of course, he is.

G-FORCE KJHSDCUISDYUKDFSUYKDSVYUSFD

oh shit

WHO DID WHAT THIS TIME

what's the rumor and who do I need to kill

He didn’t know her well. But she knew a lot about him. Just as she knew a lot about the twins. She was one of those people who was oddly invested in his life just because Rafael happened to the Consul’s son.

what is her problem?

what the fuck

I need a minute

I need a minute to digest that

I'm so glad I closed my camera in class

what the actual fuck did she just say

tell me I'm hallucinating

times like these I wish I was Jared 19

no, because I'm actually speechless right now

Paige and Irene need therapy

OH SHE WENT THERE

“Paige, that’s enough!” the Dean snapped at her. “How dare you talk to him that way? You talk about warlock corruption but where all of you when Valentine exploited Jace and Clary? Where was this moral obligation when Valentine lied to his children and played with their feelings as if they were nothing but toys to be controlled and manipulated? I’m sick of shadowhunters victim blaming children instead of holding people like Valentine accountable.”

THANK YOU

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SIMON

I feel like we all focus so much on the "incest" and hate on clace we forget that this part of the story was literally an abuser seeing that the victim was recovering and took the only thing which made him happy from him

I can't believe this

“Children have been suffering for a long time now, Paige,” Uncle Jace said now, his fists balled at his sides. “Where were you when Alec proposed the child protection bill? We didn’t see any of you supporting it.”

“We had other priorities,” the older woman replied. “People were dying! It was not the right time for a new law. We could have always signed that bill later. There was no rush!”

OTHER PRIORITIES MY ASS BITCH FUCK YOU

hey just realizing Rafael is the token straight

I'M SORRY IM TRYING TO DISTRACT ME

“The Cohort who made children kill themselves to prove a point?” Uncle Simon asked dryly. “That Cohort?”

I am so close to either crying or killing someone or both.

This was Max’s spot since it had the best Wi-Fi coverage.

yeah trust me I spend all the time in the guest room because it has the best wifi coverage or the study.

MAX IS SMOKING TOO

YOU FUCKING IDIOTS

oh wait

oh they might be alec's

yeah

For the next thirty minutes, Max paced around the room, threatening to portal all the shadowhunters to hell.

Then he went on about a plan to attack the cohort and portal them all to hell too.

He kept talking about portalling people to hell.

MAX YES LET'S DO IT!!!!

But here is the thing about people, they don’t get to you. You get to them.

They simply say something and leave. They probably don’t even mean the things they say or lose sleep over it. But it wasn’t the same for you. You obsess over it. You stay awake at night and let it consume your dreams.

YES! To others, it's just words. meaningless. to you, the effect can be so so deep. it's not easy to always brush them off.

NO MAGNUS

THAT'S IT

MAX AND I ARE PORTALLING PEOPLE TO HELL

WE'RE DOING IT

why do we hurt others?

my teacher: ill take a test on this chapter. all 20 units

me: softly crying because people are little shits and they hurt others.

“Fuck everyone else,” dad hissed. “They’ve hurt our family enough.”

EXACTLY. LEAVE THEM ALONE.

“I am simply being honest with you,” Dad interrupted. “I could never be okay when you are away from me. But I will manage. Max is going to raise hell though. So, that’s going to be fun.”

AS HE SHOULD

Neither Rafael nor Max would never admit it out loud, but on the day of that sleepover, on the day their parents had crashed the institute bcause they had missed the kids too much…Rafael and Max had been only a moment away from calling their parents to come pick them up.

He's right though.

it'll take time. lots of it maybe.

BUT THE ACTUAL AUDACITY.

It fucked with his mind so much.

Rafael...ALRIGHT WHERE ARE MY FLAMETHROWERS

“DAD! BAPA! WAKE UP! RAFE IS TRYING TO RUN AWAY!”

MAX REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF MY LITTLE BROTHER

He had forgotten about the bloody paperwork. Shadowhunters on their travel year had to notify the Clave and get their paperwork in order.

Well, it shouldn’t be a problem since the Clave was standing across the hall.

EXACTLY

Because it was killing him. It was killing him not to be lying on the couch, his head resting on his Bapak’s lap just like every other Saturday morning.

It was killing him not to touch, not to love, not to care.

GET MY FLAMETHROWERS AND CANNIBAL GOLDFISHES WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO

(goddamn every class I have taken so far the teacher has told us there is a test coming up it's 9 am in the morning.)

His brother growled at that like the little feral animal that he was.

that's adorable actually.

“Fine,” Max rolled his eyes. “Does this mean I can also travel? There is a Twenty One Pilots concert in Sydney and-”

“Nice try,” Dad said. “But no. You are staying here.”

“Excuse me, but what about my healing?” Max demanded. “I’ve been traumatised by this thing.”

“You can go to therapy,” Rafael winked at this brother.

Therapy is boring but useful so-

He needed to survive this. So, he decided to go back to the place he had learned how to survive in the first place.

He needed to go back home.

UGLY CRYING WHILE TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND MY HISTORY CLASS IN 2 MINUTES

I'm so proud of him for this...

I still say we kill these people.

JOAQUIN AND JULIETTE

UHISDCUIHFSDUGUIDFVDSDVFJHGDFVHUKDVHUKVF

Camilla Alvarez.

well well.

OH THEY KISSED

“Right,” Rafael had said. “Gap year. Besides, I do talk them. My brother threatened to paint my room in hot pink if I don’t text him every day.”

hands max a pint of paint HAVE AT IT

Max: Also – New Rumour. Dalliance between Lily and Tavvy.

Rafe: OMFG WHAT

Max: They are running with it and freaking old n*philim out.

AS THEY SHOULD UFUHIFUIHFUIHKFU

THE CENSORED N*PHILIM I'M SCREAMING

“He is hot.”

He laughed out loud. “Yeah. I hear that a lot.”

“Your dad looks kinda scary,” she pointed out.

Rafael laughed again. “Yeah. I kinda hear that a lot too.”

I'm liking this ship...

I'M STILL LOYAL TO THE RAFAEL AND ANJALI SHIP

but I'm happy for him. I'm glad he's getting the space he needs

Dad: Jst found legal age fr drnkng in Buenos Aires is 18.

Rafe: ????

Dad: I hv friends thr.

Rafe: ???

Dad: Thy r watchn u.

Rafe: Creepy but okay.

HJSDCGUIHJGSDCYUICVXUHVUHKDV

THE BOY'S DRINKING Y'ALL

Do it

MILA IS GOING TO NY!!

I like her. she's nice.

He was leaving soon. He didn’t see the point in lying to her. “I ran away from home. Kind of.”

“Why?”

“I hurt someone I love,” Rafael confessed. “The person I love most in the world.”

honey, it wasn't your fault... hugs

Shit. Why wasn’t Bapak going to the accords signing? He had been there for every single one since the very first time.

no no no no is something wrong?? I'm worried.

“You look taller,” Rafael told his brother who hadn’t grown an inch.

LMAO

Max and I are vertically challenged.

“Rafe, go to talk to him. Or I will tell everyone you’ve been smoking in the balcony!”

So, he was going to pin this on him, huh? This little shit.

well-

“You’ve progressed from freaking to fucking,” he pointed out.

“That’s not the fucking point, Rafael!” Max said in exasperation.

“You did it again,” Rafe pinched Max’s cheek. “My little brother is all grown up now. Linguistically I mean.”

“Dick."

I CAN'T WITH THESE TWO

When he had gone back to Buenos Aires, the place was completely different - even the shadow market.

There were no abandoned children in the streets. There were no racist and ignorant leaders exploiting innocent downworlders.

There was only growth.

His father had done that. Alec Lightwood had helped Joaquin and his people create a new world in Buenos Aires.

This shows how much people can flourish under good leadership if they really try.

YOU KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING THESE NOTES DOWN, NOT CRYING OVER THIS.

“I will protect our family. I will protect our friends. I will protect those who ask for my protection. But I will not tolerate their hate. I will not turn my head and pretend it doesn’t hurt. Because it does hurt and that’s not okay.”

Rafael smiled at that. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s not okay.”

“The accords is important. But so am I. There is no point in signing a treaty that is meant to value equality if I have to sign it while being surrounded by those who refuse to respect me or my identity. I simply cannot do it, Rafael. I hope you understand.”

I'm sobbing like YES YOU DONT OWE THEM SHIT. THESE UNGRATEFUL BITCHES.

“It’s taken me a while to realize this. But I don’t owe the nephilim anything,” Bapak said firmly. “It’s about time they realize that too.”

YES EXACTLY

“I’ve known shadowhunters for a long time, Rafael. Good ones. Bad ones. All kinds of them – and shadowhunters have always defined themselves by their love. Not by your weapons. Not by your runes. Not by your last names. Not by your laws. Shadowhunters have always defined themselves by love. So, don’t ever let them take that away from you.”

I want this on a T-shirt. These damn shadowhunters and their love.

“Like the Accords Hall kiss?” Rafael grinned.

“It’s the stupidest thing your father had ever done – which is really saying something,” his father laughed. “But it’s also the bravest thing I’ve ever seen him do. And that’s how I knew.”

affectionate sigh that's alec.

“Good. Max is sitting in the porch and singing All by Myself,” Tessa chuckled and closed the door. “Just thought you should know!!”

Rafael giggled at that. “He must have given you hell.”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Bapak shrugged, and Rafael raised an eyebrow. “Fine. I might have promised to buy him a car when he turns 18.”

“You’re hoping he would stop aging by then, aren’t you?” Rafael chuckled.

Max is so dramatic I aspire to be like him.

Blue banners when the lost return, the shadowhunter rhythm said.

Rafael had returned home – and he was no longer lost.

I'm ok I say as I cry during my history class

I'm so proud of him.

“Well, that needs to be rectified immediately,” Dad said in the Consul Voice and literally yelled. “I am about to kiss my son – on both cheeks! You better gossip about this too!”

“Oh my god, stop!” Rafael giggled and tried to escape.

“YAS!” he heard Uncle Jace yelled from somewhere. “GIVE US A FOREHEAD KISS TOO!”

THEY ARE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH.

THEM ADDING TO THE ACCORDS AS THEY SHOULD OMG

“The hell is hate speech?” someone asked.

Do you not have a dictionary you uncultured swine

“There is a very clear difference between free speech and hate speech,” Cristina Rosales pointed out. “The fact that you don’t seem to know that is all the more reason for us to include this provision.”

YES CRISTINA

“By the angel,” an old man gasped. “There is no need to be so emotional. The younger generation can be such snowflakes.”

What if I just strangles him

“Discriminatory language?” a woman demanded. “What does that even mean?”

“Calling vampires bloodsuckers,” Lily Chen answered.

“Calling warlocks demon spawns,” Ragnor Fell pointed out.

“Calling werewolves fleabags,” Maia Roberts declared.

“Calling faeries half-breeds,” Kieran Kingson all but yelled.

The fact that they have had to deal with this shit for YEARS. (also why Kingson? isn't Kieran the king?)

THE QUEEN HERSELF IS HERE Y'ALL

“Which one of you shitheads said hate speech is harmless?” Anjali demanded, her voice booming over everyone and everything else.

YES ANJALI

Anjali had a grin of her own. “While that might true, Paige, there is most certainly a law on child protection. You didn’t just hurt Magnus Bane. You also hurt his son. Section 7 of the Child Protection Bill states that any person who physically or emotionally injures a child through ill-treatment, neglect, abandonment or abuse is guilty of breaking the covenant.”

“Damn straight!” someone yelled from the crowd – it sounded suspiciously like Kit.

CALL THESE BITCHES OUT YES

“Rafael is not a child!” someone yelled again. A lot of them this time. “It’s still not illegal. The law doesn’t say so!”

“By the angel, for someone who is obsessed with the law you people seem to know nothing about it,” Anjali said in exasperation. “The child protection law defines a child as a person under 18 years OR younger. The incident happened when he was still 18. It’s illegal.”

YES ANJALI FUCK THESE PEOPLE

“I’m the Inquisitor’s daughter,” she said. “Next time, think twice before you quote the law at me.”

SHOW THEM, QUEEN

How did she know his birthday????

ahem

“So, if you do hurt him emotionally, you can still be implicated. You will face charges and you can possibly be stripped of your runes,” Anjali pointed out seriously. “Now I ask you again. Does anyone else have to say anything about him?”

There was absolute silence then.

“Didn’t fucking think so,” Anjali spat. “I literally had to mention the stripping of your marks for you to respect another person’s basic rights. If you give half the value you place on your precious runes to other people, we wouldn’t be in exile right now.”

The Cohort looked terrified – of Anjali or their future in the Clave, Rafael didn’t know.

“People are dying,” Anjali said, her voice heavy now. “Our people are fucking dying, and you seem to be more bothered with who is sleeping with whom. Shame on you. Shame on all of you!”

She turned to the Council. The Inquisitor looked like he was going to cry from pride. Rafael’s dad looked half terrified but mostly impressed. Lily was blowing kisses at Anjali. The other downworld leaders looked quite pleased.

Shadowhunters are so fucking bigoted and narrow-minded. I'm seething right now.

also, alec looking scared-

“THAT’S THE BEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!” Emma Carstairs yelled.

“Goddamn, I wish Magnus was here to see this,” Uncle Jace grinned. “That was satisfying as hell.”

“No worries, I recorded the whole thing!” Kit put up his hand.

YES YES AND YES

“Fuck the Cohort,” Rafael giggled.

“Actually, I would prefer you use the word screw,” his father pointed out. “Screw the Cohort!”

“Oh my god, Dad!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “I am allowed to swear once in a while.”

“No, you are not,” Dad said firmly – this man was so not ready to meet Max’s new persona. “As your friend pointed out, you are still a child.”

Alec seeing Max curse left and right: 👁️👄👁️

"She hates me!"

“Rafael, she stood up for you in front of the entire Clave. She fought the Cohort. It was incredibly brave. I wish she had spoken to me before without causing all the chaos. So, it was a little stupid of course. But still brave.”

Stupid but brave.

YESYESYESYES IT'S HAPPENING!!!

ANJALI WHO HURT YOU

WHO DARED TO

Names. Give me names NOW

Jaime no...please no not Jaime.

please please, please

ok, I searched it up. And he can get treatment. He can live. It doesn't have to be serious. please, Jaime...

“If you ever tell anyone you saw me crying, I will drag you to Idris and drown you in Lake Lyn.”

This is such an Anjali thing to say.

OOO MILLA (Mila?) MESSAGED!!! Is there gonna be some sort of love triangle here??

me who despises love triangles (aside from TID of course): ...

BUT SINCE IT'S YOU I'M SURE IT'LL BE AMAZING. I'm still nervous about this though...

UHCUHDVUKDVHUKVHUVHM I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO SO SO MUCH IT WAS A LITERAL ROLLERCOASTER AND ANJALI QUEEN I LOVE

see ya on Friday!!

OKAY I AM LOVING THIS ENERGY BUT PLEASE FOCUS ON YOUR CLASSES FJKSDFHJKSJFHKD I PROMISE THE STORY IS GOING TO BE HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK LOL.

But I am so glad you like it. Amidst all your screaming and chaos, I always find very perceptive and profound observations. It's fantastic! I love it so much!

Thank you for enjoying LBAF - and good luck with your tests!!!

#lbaf

16 notes · View notes

fuckyeahisawthat · 4 years

Note

Have you been asked yet to rank Trust eps? Cos I'm asking! But your the criteria for ranking I leave to you to decide.

Ahahahaha I’ll have you know I put way too much thought into this. :-D

Ok so first of all, there is no such thing as a bad episode of Trust. The whole thing is really tightly written, every character and plot thread has a purpose, and even the episodes that I haven’t watched over and over again are important to the overall story. And a lot of the impact of the show comes from things that are cumulative over multiple episodes.

That being said, I do have favorites. Since the definitive ranking of Primo’s outfits has already been taken care of, here is my ranking from least to most favorite based on some nebulous criteria of artistic/narrative effectiveness and emotional impact, my judgement of which is obviously highly subjective and also correct.

Under the cut because this got ummm unbelievably, ridiculously long.

10. The House of Getty (episode 1)

Sorry Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy, the pilot is my least favorite episode. Still think it was the wrong choice to open with a flashy (and, I can tell, expensive) sequence showcasing the death of a character we literally never see again. And, look, I’m an impatient viewer. If I don’t get someone to root for/emotionally identify with/otherwise catch my interest early on in a narrative, I’ll tune out. And Old Paul is not only unlikeable--far from a mortal sin in dramatic storytelling--he’s boring. I don’t care about any of his rich people problems, and I’m not the kind of viewer who can be kept engaged just by hating someone and watching them be terrible.

Some of the secondary characters in the Getty household do have interesting plotlines, but we don’t get to learn very much about them in the first episode. And I do think things get interesting once Little Paul shows up (although I maintain that the whole episode is more interesting if we understand what the stakes are for Paul getting the money), but if I had started watching this show with no context I wouldn’t have made it past Old Paul’s pre-coital erotica listening routine.

If this had been anything other than the first episode I might not have ranked it last, but extra penalty points for leading with your least interesting characters.

9. Lone Star (episode 2)

This episode is, I think, saddled by the fact that it has to do a lot of heavy lifting in terms of exposition and setup. It mostly works because Chace is an entertaining narrator, and once we get to Italy with Gail I think things zip along at a pretty good pace. Opens with an attempted rape to show how Bad the Bad Guys are, which is...not my favorite trope.

Once again, I think a lot of the information in this episode would have worked better if episode 3 had been episode 1. (We’d already know who Berto was when Chace meets him; we’d already know about the box of guns in the apartment; we’d know when certain characters are lying.) This whole show runs on the suspense of the audience being the only party who knows what’s going on with all the characters at once; I think trading mystery for suspense here was the wrong move. I also can’t help thinking there was pressure to front-load the well-known American actors in the beginning of the show at the expense of the strongest narrative choices.

Imo the best thing about this episode is the sort of...multiple competing images of Paul that emerge. His mom sees him as an innocent victim who couldn’t possibly have planned any of this. Chace sees him as a spoiled rich kid trying to swindle his granddad. Neither one of them has the complete truth.

Next we get into some episodes that are certainly not bad, but their greatness is more on the level of some bangin’ individual scenes than a whole package.

8. John, Chapter 11 (episode 6)

Again, this isn’t a bad episode. The main reason I put it near the end of the list is that the first time through I got sort of impatient during the first half. We, the audience, by virtue of our extra-textual knowledge, know that Paul can’t be dead, and we spend about half the episode before we know what really happened to him, which felt a bit too long to me.

This episode does have some fantastic individual scenes including: Leo talking Primo down in the farmhouse, Leo and Paul’s conversation about Angelo’s death, Gail being an absolute badass, and the meeting between Salvatore and Old Paul. A lot of these scenes are essential on a thematic level, but I don’t think the episode as a whole is the most streamlined.

7. Consequences (episode 10)

I debated for a while where to put this episode because the overall feeling of 57 Chekov’s guns going off in the space of one episode is SO satisfying, and the resolutions of some of the individual plotlines are delicious. Ultimately I would have liked more space for Paul and Gail and less Old Paul being grumpy about his substitute child museum’s mediocrity (although the scene with the bad reviews is hilarious). Once again I feel like the show creators felt they had to pull the focus back to Old Paul to wrap things up and I just. don’t care.

That being said. The resolution of Primo’s storyline? SO SATISFYING. And tbh I don’t dislike the scenes that exist with Paul and Gail; even the happy scenes have this poignant tone to them. I think they were trying to deal with the fact that his irl story is just...incredibly fucking tragic, and you can see a bit of the strain showing.

6. Kodachrome (episode 7)

I know episode 7 is not one of your personal favorites, but it’s the one where I think jumping between multiple plotlines/sets of characters is used to the most satisfying dramatic effect. It has this sense of dramatic irony that feels like some Shakespearean family tragedy. The whole episode, we are hoping that Paul Jr. will finally do the thing we want him to do, which is stand up to his father. And he does it--but at the absolute worst, most selfish and destructive moment possible.

Paul Jr. may be the literal worst, but I do have compassion for him in the flashbacks, mostly because it seems painfully apparent that no matter what he does, he will never be able to please his father. But he doesn’t seem to realize this, and he keeps trying, even as it’s destroying him and his relationship with his family. Credit to Michael Esper for his performance for making me feel a smidgen of compassion for this bastard.

I think the other thing this episode shows is how both of Paul’s parents keep putting him, a child, into roles and circumstances that he shouldn’t really be in. He’s wandering around through what seem like very much adult environments with his dad and Talitha in Morocco. In the Trust version of events he’s there when Talitha ODs and is the one trying to revive her while his dad is having a breakdown in the corner. Gail seems like the more responsible parent but there’s something about her bringing Paul as her “date” on a night out, and the understanding that this is a thing that happens regularly...to me the disturbing part is not so much bringing a young kid to a party with adults but the unspoken expectation that Little Paul will fill the void of companionship that his father has left empty. (Gettys expecting Little Paul to step in to cover for the failings of his father is a repeated theme, and it even plays into the ear thing. His family has failed to pay the ransom, so this is now a problem he has to solve himself.) Combine this all with Leonardo going, um, excuse me but what the actual fuck is wrong with your family? and I think it makes a very effective episode. And the last couple minutes had me yelling NOOOOOOOO GODDAMMIT because you can see what’s going to happen and you’re just watching it unfolding like a car wreck. Also has one of my hands-down favorite scenes, of Paul and Primo in the car waiting for the ransom.

5. White Car in a Snowstorm (episode 9)

The ~ D R A M A !!! ~ This episode is an opera. I mean this whole show is dramatique but episode 9 really leans into the vivid imagery--that snowy highway in the mountains above the sea, the all-white ransom exchange, Paul clinging to the pole at the shuttered Getty gas station, some Very Serious Mobsters throwing the ransom money around like idiots in a moment where you’re encouraged to be happy along with them.

This is also one of my favorite episodes for Primo and for Primo and Paul’s weird sometimes-alliance. Primo walking away from Salvatore to go tell Paul “they always pay in the end”? Primo and Paul teaming up to argue with Salvatore about why Paul shouldn’t die? Primo being all threateny to the doctor treating Paul because somewhere deep down he is worried (that’s my take and you’ll never convince me otherwise)? Primo dressing up to fake-scab on a postal strike in order to find a misplaced severed ear? All gold.

Fun fact: the letter Gail writes to President Nixon did happen in real life, but as far as I can tell the phone call did not. The real details of who convinced Old Paul to finally pay (some) of the ransom are considerably less cinematic. They’re the same amount of sexist though!

Ok now we are getting to the top tier...

4. That’s All Folks! (episode 4)

This is definitely the episode that took me from “ok this is fun” to “oh holy shit I’m invested now.” It’s the episode where we get introduced to most of the Calabrian characters and their world. It’s also the episode where we start to realize that Primo is not just a fun antagonist but is really a parallel protagonist to Little Paul, with his own set of relationships and motivations that we start to see from his POV. (I’d argue that, with the exception of his very first scene, we’ve mostly seen Primo through other characters’ gaze up until episode 4, and this is the point where we start watching him as like, the character whose pursuit of a goal we’re following over the course of the scene.)

This episode ranks high for capturing so much of the weird mix of tones that makes Trust work. It can be very funny. (I never fail to fuckin lose it when Fifty is on the phone with Gail the first time and when he’s talking to the thoroughly unimpressed newspaper switchboard operator.) It has this weird unexpected intimacy between characters you wouldn’t think would connect with each other. (Primo and Paul, Paul and Angelo; in retrospect the arc of the relationship between Primo and Leo gets started in that scene in Salvatore’s kitchen.) And it has one of the show’s absolute best record-scratch tone shifts when Primo gets the ransom offer. I remember saying “oh FUCK” out loud the first time I watched the end of that episode, when Primo comes back to the house, visibly drunk and clearly furious. We’ve seen him be violent plenty before now in the show, but always in a controlled, calculated way. This is the first time we see his potential for out-of-control rage-fueled violence and he’s terrifying!

3. La Dolce Vita (episode 3)

I stand by my claim that this episode (with a few minor continuity adjustments) should have been the pilot. Can you imagine a title card that’s like “Rome 1973” and then away we go with Paul snorting coke and taking racy photos and jumping on cops and fucking his girlfriend in what is definitely not proper museum etiquette, and then the smash cut to Primo intimidating and robbing and murdering people? And that’s the opening of the whole show? And you’re like how are these characters connected and then they meet each other and it’s the fucking sunflower field scene??

Anyway aside from the fact that I think knowing the information in this episode would have made episodes 1 and 2 more interesting...it’s just a great fucking episode. It’s kinetic and propulsive and funny and tense and violent and features Primo’s sniper skills and his ass in those cornflower blue trousers. I rest my case.

2. Silenzio (episode 5)

I’ll be honest, I went back and forth on the top two a bunch. Silenzio is definitely my personal favorite episode, and I’d argue that it’s the best written, in terms of what it accomplishes narratively, which is to keep you emotionally invested in both Paul and Angelo trying to escape with their lives, and Primo and Leonardo hunting them down. That’s so fucking hard!! And yes some of it is great acting but it starts from the foundation of the writing. It’s just such a perfect little self-contained horror movie, and it has this profound sense of fatalism to it, because you know from the beginning (if only by virtue of only being halfway through the series) that Paul is not going to escape, and you sort of know that there is only one way this will end for Angelo. And yet they escape by the skin of their teeth so! many! times!

It’s also the episode where you see how much power the ‘Ndrangheta has over people’s lives in this community: Salvatore is like God, calling his servants to him with the church bells. Combine that with the visuals of two characters running for their lives mostly on foot through this unforgiving landscape, and you really get the sense of this environment as a harsh place where most people have a very constrained set of choices, and the claustrophobia of that. You get the sense in this episode that everyone is trapped in these expectations of violence and duty and honor. Angelo did what anyone with compassion would do, and saved Paul from what seemed like certain death, and he’s doomed for it. At the same time Primo is doing exactly what anyone would expect him to do in response to a subordinate who disobeyed him. In some ways the end of the episode feels inevitable, unsurprising, and yet they do SUCH a good job of winding up the tension until the literal last seconds of the episode, and then releasing it with a big dramatic bang. It’s so good!!

1. In the Name of the Father (episode 8)

Ok I’ll be honest the ONLY reason In the Name of the Father edged out Silenzio for the top spot is that it is really clear they pulled out all the stops in terms of making this episode feel extra heightened in a show where everything is already heightened. Like, the cinematography is different? They still use handheld a lot but I swear there are more still shots and more extreme, editorial camera angles like that shot of Francesco looking upward in church where the camera is looking down from above him. I can’t tell if they actually tweaked the color grading or if the bright white and blood red just stand out against the Calabrian color palette which is mostly earth tones, browns and greens and blues.

There are just. So many layers to this episode. The imagery! The literal sacrificial lamb at the beginning, Francesco being guided by Leonardo through an act of violence against an animal, something that I’m sure they don’t even see as violence but just part of farm life, part of survival and in this case part of a celebration, but something that fathers teach their sons how to do as part of becoming a man in this world. Paul as the metaphorical sacrificial lamb later, drawing parallels to Jesus (the lamb of God), Isaac (a father sacrificing his son), any number of martyred saints, pick your Catholic imagery. The blood of the lamb on the tree stump and Paul’s blood on the stone. The communion wafer (the body and blood of Christ) and Francesco at the end with Paul’s blood and a literal piece of his body held in his hands the same way.

And then there is like, the suspense of watching everyone marking time through the steps of this community ritual that’s supposed to be a joyful, communal celebration, while we know that there is a secret ticking away under the surface. The slow unfolding of the lie told to one person spreading to everyone in the village, and then the knowledge that Salvatore knows spreading to all the people who’ll be in trouble for that. The relationship arcs between the main Calabrian characters...not resolving, but sliding into place for the final act. Primo finally being done with Salvatore. Primo and Leo’s alliance being cemented and Leo physically stepping between Primo and Salvatore, to protect Primo. (No one ever protects Primo!! Still not over it!!!!) The confirmation celebration as a mirror of the Getty party in episode 1, the parallels drawn between the 3 Pauls and Salvatore-Primo-Francesco and how Primo reacts to being passed over as heir vs. how Paul Jr. reacts. Little Paul having two whole minutes of screen time and managing to break your heart with them. Regina! Just...Regina’s whole everything. The music going all-instrumental for an episode and having this haunting, dreamlike but still tense quality to it. And the fact that we never cut away from Calabria to another plotline gives the whole episode this hypnotic, all-encompassing quality. It’s just. SO GOOD!!!!

#fadagaski #asks answered #trust fx #long post #so so long omg #i can't believe how long i spent writing this but HERE IT IS #trust alternate watch order

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plus-size-reader · 4 years

Text

Freedom pt.2

Dwight x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1517 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Negan’s daughter trying to negotiate the suggestion Dwight had, even though it could be dangerous for them both

Part 1

——————————————————————————————————

"We are going to run away"

As soon as the words left Dwight's lips, he regretted them. Not for the sake of them, of course, but because there was no taking them back. After the way running away had gone for him the first time, it was a terrible idea.

A dangerous idea.

If he tried to do it again and failed, there was no telling what Negan would do to him and if he took you with him, it was surely a death sentence. Your dad would kill him for that, even if you tried to tell him that you took part in it.

...Even if you told him why you'd done it

Really, you could have told him anything and there was a good chance Negan wouldn't listen. Not even his little princess could make a lapse in trust and judgment okay. Dwight would surely die for something like that.

Still, there was just something about you that made the blonde not care.

As stupid as he knew it was to even entertain the idea of taking you and getting as far away from the Sanctuary as possible, you were worth the risk to him.

The dreamy look on your face as you looked at this place, and the people that lived there was more than enough for him to be willing to risk it all. You were beautiful, and he was sure that he would be willing to do anything even if it just made you smile.

It was worth more than anything to him.

You were shocked that he would even say something like that, but it would be a lie to say that it didn't also make you really happy. Even if he wasn't entirely serious, it was something that you often found yourself dreaming about when you were alone.

The idea of getting out and living the life you'd always craved.

"You really mean it? You think that we could do that?" you gasped, now speaking in a much more hushed tone. It was clear that you were thinking over what that could mean, or how it would work.

There were a lot of moving parts and the chances of you being able to actually pull it off were slim to none. There was no way that you could pull it off without anyone finding out and even if you did do it somehow, Negan would surely send everyone he had after you both.

If Dwight thought he'd went all out the first time he'd tried to run away from the sanctuary, there was no comparison to how it would be if you actually went through with this.

You knew your father pretty well, and if he had to, he would send every Savior out after you. Nothing would be too much to get you back home.

It just wasn't something you could risk

You wanted to make it work so bad, and you would have done anything to get out of there but you just didn't want to risk Dwight in order to do it. Even if you had to stay trapped within the walls of the sanctuary, like a prisoner, you knew that D would be safe that way.

As soon as you two left that compound, there was nothing you could do to guarantee that he would be protected from your dad's wrath.

You just weren't sure that the small chance you had at freedom was going to be worth the potential loss that you would sustain if you two got caught. Negan would probably lock you away for the rest of your life if he found out you were even having this conversation.

He would take it as a personal offense, as if you had both rejected him, and that just wasn't going to work.

You both just needed to face the facts.

There was no future for you two in which you just got to happily be together. Even if you wanted to try and make it work within the sanctuary, you could never tell anyone about it or take the chance that they could find out.

You would constantly be hiding away from the rest of the world.

"I'd like to try" he shrugged, reaching out to slowly take your hand in his own, once he'd checked to make sure that none of the other Saviors were around to see you. It was a little bothersome, to have to constantly cover your tracks, but you had to make due.

As much as you hated feeling like a secret, like he was ashamed of you, you understood why it had to be that way. If you wanted to be alive, this was just what you had to do.

"It's too dangerous, we could never do that" you decided finally, just in time to catch a glimpse of Negan headed toward where you both were. Then without even looking back, you stood from your place and headed toward him.

It broke your heart to do that, to switch it up that way when you were so close to getting what you'd always wanted but the danger it would put Dwight in just wasn't worth it to you. You would rather never speak to him again than lose him trying to be selfish.

If something you did got him killed, you were sure you'd never get over it.

That left Dwight in a pretty strange place, confused as to how quickly the conversation had soured, but maybe he'd just hit a nerve. It was stupid for him to even think something like that could work.

"I want to go home now" you announced, your words more than an order than anything else but Negan didn't even give it a second thought. The raid was wrapping up and there was no reason for you to stay, so he got you all set up in Simon's truck and you were on your way.

...And just as you pulled away, you caught sight of Dwight, standing there where you'd left him.

He had no idea how he managed to get himself into this position, but one thing was for sure, this whole thing wasn't over for either of you. Consequences be damned, that couldn't be how this ended.

You didn't see Dwight again until a few days later, as you had been pretty obviously avoiding him but eventually, he got the better of you. The sanctuary was only so big and you couldn't stay away from him forever.

"Hey, is everything okay? I haven't seen you for a while" he started, catching you on your way up the stairway. Right now, it was just the two of you in that space but you knew it wouldn't be that way for very long.

Rather than stop to answer his question, you just kept scaling the stairs, desperately hoping that he would just move on and leave you alone. Though, with the clear feelings you had for one another, it was a longshot.

...And it wasn't like this was easy for you in the first place.

You didn't like having to stay away from Dwight, who was easily your favorite person in this whole compound. It was all just too real for you there in Alexandria, talking about the future that you could share.

The danger, and the potential made for a deadly combination and it would just be easier for everyone if you put a stop to it entirely. You wouldn't lose him to some childish dream, that never should have happened at all.

There was no future for either of you, and you just needed to accept that now.

"Dwight, just stop. We can't do this anymore" you decided finally, hoping that would be enough to discourage him. It wasn't of course, but you had to try. Even if he made a choice to ignore your warnings entirely, you couldn't be a part of it anymore.

You didn't have the luxury of being naïve anymore.

Your actions had consequences and if you had the wrong choices, you would have to face them.

"Just talk to me. I can fix this" he tried, grabbing your wrist gently in his own. It was enough to spin you around to face him, though you yanked your arm free as soon as you met his eyes. This was real life and if he couldn't make the right call, you weren't going to give him an option at all.

It was as simple as that.

"Do you have any idea what could happen to you? That burn will seem like a slap on the wrist if dad catches us here" you reminded, not really willing to find out if your words were the truth.

You'd seen him do much worse for much less.

You could see in the blonde's face that he was trying his hardest to find some way to convince you that wasn't true, but he couldn't. So, before he could make this any worse than it already was, you opened the door to your floor, only stopping briefly before leaving completely.

"Goodbye D"

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penguintransporter · 4 years

Text

Winning The Game Called Love (Hector Bellerin) Part I

Here it is my ladies and gents! I hope you like it, and I apologise if it’s too long, but I got carried away. Please let me know if you like it because I am always up to work on my writing, so don’t hesitate to write me DM or send in an ask (I promise, I am the friendliest person out there). This one is dedicated to @bitchforaesthetics. Anyway, read, enjoy because part II is coming out very soon...

P.S. There is no covid-19 in this story :D

_____

If one asked anyone at the Arsenal Training Centre to describe Aida - the young brunette behind the reception desk, nine out of ten times one would hear the same answer:

Bundle of positive energy.

It didn’t matter if one was a know or less-known footballer, coach, manager, medical staff or just a random fan touring the grounds - Aida, with her smile and positive energy, could chase away whatever dark cloud was looming above one's head. Yet, despite her contagious smile that was just loud enough and genuine curiosity, as any other human being, Aida wasn’t able to chase away the real dark clouds that seemed to clutch Hertfordshire sky in a tight embrace on that Monday morning.

Seated behind the desk and waiting for her laptop to turn on, Aida observed the gloominess outside the building and all she saw was heavy blots of grey that seemed to carry all the weight accumulated during the month of December.

Her last month at Arsenal FC, doing the job she enjoyed more than anything.

If it only had snowed; just a little.

She would be lying if she said she liked freezing cold, and if anyone, she would be the absolute winner of “the worst balance on icy pavements” competition - if there was one - but Christmas had a different feel to it when everything was covered in fluffy and pillow white cover. And even if she wasn’t religious or celebrated Christmas as the majority of the people, she was a firm believer that snowy Christmas made that cup of hot cocoa, as she sat in her tiny studio under her favorite blanket, just a tiny bit better.

Aida glanced at the small card that sat next to her laptop - red and golden swirls decorating the backside of it, and with a sigh she averted her gaze back at the laptop screen that had already turned on and was humming quietly - red Arsenal FC logo staring back at her. The large and Christmas decorated lobby was still quiet, but not for too long. In just a few minutes, most of the footballers and some other employees will start pouring into the building, either for training or for their 9/5 job, and with that the building will start buzzing with contagious energy.

All except Sead. He was late on most of the days.

Aida looked at the clock in the corner of her screen before looking up expectantly at the door, and as if on cue, Alexandre Lacazette walked in through the door, talking to his fellow countryman Thomas who worked as a medical assistant. Both Aida and Thomas, along with some others were shortlisted for the layoff, but in the end it was Aida who pulled out the shorter straw.

She shook her head, refusing to create unnecessary tension.

Aida knew that she gained nothing from sulking and sadness. She still had to sit behind the reception desk for another few weeks, smiling and giving the best first impression to everyone who came in. So, with a deep breath, Aida lifted her chin high and looked at the two men in front of her.

“Bonjour lads,” she grinned - the dark thoughts disappearing as soon as she spoke, leaning on the till in front of her. “Lovely weather outside, no?”

“Good morning indeed, sunshine,” Alexandre responded while still walking across the lobby, “I am actually wearing my bikini on underneath this outfit, what about you?” he added as he disappeared through the hallway that led to the changing rooms while Aida only laughed after him.

“What a ridiculous man,” Thomas commented, stepping in front of Aida’s desk, smiling at her. “It is so cold outside. How did you travel?”

Aida sighed defeatedly. “Clio took four tries and a bottle of warm water to start this morning, despite the lack of snow and ice. I was really chuffed for this winter, but so far it has only been disappointing.”

Her soon-to-be ex-colleague nodded, agreeing with her words before his eyes landed on the shiny invitation on Aida’s desk. “Oooh,” he mused, running a hand through his ginger curls. “Who’s date are you? Is it David? Please say it’s not him?”

“Nope!” Aida replied, giggling. There was nothing wrong with David Luiz - he was in fact a genuine sweetheart, but also notorious around the building for his charm and flirting action. Whether it was Aida at the reception desk when he needed an excuse for being late for the training or if it was Simone in the kitchen when he wanted another round of hash browns - he didn’t pick his victim nor his weapon. “Actually,” Aida started, “it was Finn from HR. He thought it would be a nice gesture since I do not get to stay here.”

“I don’t have to tell you again how sorry I am that you have to leave,” Thomas mumbled and Aida shrugged, hiding the disappointment.

“Oh well,” she trailed off as few of the other players walked into the building and she made sure that she smiled at each one of them. She also made sure to high-five Calum Chambers as she did every morning for more than a year. “There is nothing that you can do really… Post?” she asked, trying to change the subject, and Thomas nodded, leaning over the till to grab the signing pad that rested on Aida’s desk while she shuffled some envelopes before pulling out a big, mustard yellow one. “There is something from Miami. I am assuming it is for Michael,” Aida spoke, exchanging the signing pad for the envelope. “Just tell me if there— ,”

They were cut off by the upstairs’ doors slamming shut with a force. Both her and Thomas looked up, watching Mikel Arteta walk downstairs with a risky speed - phone pressed to his ear as he spoke in a very quick and heavily accented English. Thomas quickly cast his eyes downwards, but Aida kept her eyes locked at the dark-haired man, waiting for the manager to notice her. When he finally did, she gave him a bright smile - ignoring the fact that he looked as if he was angry with the whole world - including Aida.

To Thomas’ surprise, Arteta returned Aida’s gesture with a friendly grin and a small wink before putting his agitated face expression back, walking away towards the training pitches.

“I really don’t know how you do it,” Aida’s colleague muttered, and she responded with a childish giggle.

She was about to add something sarcastic, but the main entrance doors opened, letting the gust of cold wind trail in with force as Héctor Bellerín walked in with confidence that he mastered so well. He was dressed in clothes that resembled every outfit of Aida’s dad in the family photographs from the nineties, looking the only way Héctor Bellerín could - both ridiculous and extremely cool at the same time.

“Want to watch me how I fail?” she whispered before clearing her throat a little, following their vice-captain with her green eyes. “Good morning, Héctor!” she called out, raising her voice so he could hear her perfectly. “Bollocks weather, innit?”

Nothing.

Not an eye-contact, a simple shrug, or any kind of motion or face expression that showed a tiniest bit of interest.

Aida was aware that her friendliness sometimes caused people to recoil and shy away from her, and that her behavior could be overbearing at times, and she often wondered if people in the modern world, including Héctor, forgot how to be friendly and appreciate an honest smile. Aida was confused and a slightly bit hurt because it has been more than a year since she started working for the club, and they only spoke two times - morning of her first day, and that time when they accidentally slammed into one another as they crossed their paths in the medicals.

She wasn’t sure if she was doing something wrong because to Aida, he seemed like a nice and down to earth lad, and occasionally when she would observe him interact with his teammates and other staff members, she felt a pang of jealousy because she never got more than a cold stare across the room or occasional roll of his eyes.

“Maybe he’s just not a morning person,” Thomas commented, breaking Aida’s train of thoughts. He placed the envelope under his arm as he stuck his woolly hat inside the pocket of his puffer. “Anyway, I have to go. I have meeting in ten minutes. I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, good luck with your day,” Aida responded, watching Thomas walk towards his office on the ground floor.

She sat back in her comfy chair with an itch of confusion mixed with some foreign feeling of sadness that started to tickle her. She couldn’t pinpoint what she was doing wrong when it came to Héctor Bellerín. They barely interacted, and yet he wasn’t giving her a chance. It didn’t help either that out of all people that Aida interacted with on a daily basis, he was the only one who made her heart both flutter and break at the same time.

Her eyes glanced at the small calendar taped on the inside of her desk before resting on the party invitation again - her heart soaring with that familiar feeling.

Aida nodded, forcing a smile at some of the guests who passed her by. She wasn’t sure who they are or what their names were, but judging by their expensive clothes and blinding jewelry and watches, she figured out they must be very important people with lots of money.

The evening of the charity party has arrived quicker than she expected; quicker than she wanted, and even if the party was for a good cause, and she was meant to have a good time, she couldn’t shake off the tension that slowly accumulated over the past few weeks - her last weeks as the club’s employee. She didn’t want to leave, but despite talking with the HR department once again, there was nothing that she could do. Official answer was that the previous season was really bad for the club both, in terms of injury and finances, and that they had to cut the cost when it came to everything, including staffing.

“Ada!” a boy’s scream rang out over the classical music they played, making Aida look up from where she was standing, and observing her pointy loafers and tiny specks of water residue from the drizzle of rain she caught on the way from the parking lot to the party.

Aida’s eyes connected with the small boy, dressed in a mini version of the official Arsenal FC suit as he ran towards her - his curly and unruly hair giving him a few extra inches in height. Despite feeling anxious and a bit sad, Aida smiled greatly at him, crouching down to his level before catching him in a tight embrace. Over his shoulder, she noticed his mother Alysha giving her an apologetic smile, but with a small nod, Aida reassured her that it was okay. She spent a lot of time with the boy on more than one occasion - in fact, whenever Pierre-Emerick brought him to the centre, Pierre Jr. spent half of his time, sitting behind Aida’s desk as he talked in delight about his favorite cartoons and toys.

“My God, look at you! You are so handsome tonight,” Aida mused and the boy giggled, embracing her once again, silently asking her to lift him up, and Aida obliged. Letting out a puff of air, she straightened up with the boy in her arms - it always surprised her to learn that he was heavier than he looked. With a smirk, she pulled at this red tie jokingly. “Has your daddy helped you with your tie?” she asked, tickling his stomach.

Pierre Jr. let out a loud cackle, squirming in her arms. “No, it was mamie. She also tied daddy’s.” Aida smiled at the boy’s mix of using French and English words, but as soon as the boy started telling her something about minions, Aida, as much as she hated to admit, stopped listening.

The fact that she was going to be without a job occupied her brain and wasn’t something she was able to push away easily. Where did it go wrong? Obviously, like everyone else, she had her fair share of personal problems over the year, but she managed to keep them away from work - being nothing but professional and friendly the entire time. Aida always tried to give her best, treating everyone with nothing but respect, and even ran a couple of successful campaigns with the fans touring the grounds, but it was all in vain.

Aida loved the club and being part of it. She loved the mornings when she would be one of the first to arrive, she loved that cup of coffee with Simone in the empty canteen, listening to all the anecdotes that happened since the older lady started working in the kitchen, fifteen years ago. Aida enjoyed the silly banter with footballers and the staff - heck, she even liked when Granit mispronounced her name and she had to correct him every day. She experienced so many nice moments during the past fourteen months and it felt so strange knowing that soon enough those moments will just be a nice memory.

“—so I told Curtys to stop hitting me with the pillow, but he didn’t. So I ate his hobnobs.”

Aida blinked quickly, reverting back to the reality from her thoughts and looked down at the little boy who was proudly explaining his hobnob revenge on his older brother.

“Great job,” she answered, ruffling the boy’s hair before looking away from his glinting eyes and cheesy grin. Various groups of people mingled around her, and Aida moved her gaze across the room. Manager Arteta was talking to the club president while Claudia, the girl that was going to take her job along with being Arteta’s assistant was chatting excitedly with Naomi from PR. Everyone seemed to be in a better mood than she was, and Aida hated it.

“Papa!” Pierre Jr. cried out happily and Aida followed his gaze. She spotted Pierre-Emerick, surrounded with some of the teammates and their significant others.

“Do you want to go there?” Aida asked softly. Pierre Jr. nodded rapidly, and Aida craddled him before making her way through the well-dressed crowd.

Héctor Bellerín wasn’t exactly a man of few words, and everyone who knew him privately, knew that fact. The young Spaniard with an extraordinary London cockney accent loved to talk, appreciated a silly joke and banter, but also enjoyed discussing serious subjects and matters at any given opportunity. He was no stranger to a good book or a documentary, but also loved playing CoD with his teammates and just chill around his house.

He considered himself polite, trying to treat everyone with respect, and most of the time he kept his cool - except that one time with Richarlison, but the lad deserved it. Yet, despite it all, the behavior of the girl behind the reception desk, for some reason, annoyed the shit out of him.

Héctor found her behavior tiring and utterly insincere. Ever since she started working, she would greet him with that smile that couldn’t have been a real one, asking him about the weather - day in and day out. It tired him to the point that he just decided to ignore her.

On the other hand, he didn’t think that there was something wrong with her - moreover, he did agree with some of his teammates the first week she started working that she was actually pretty, but after another few weeks, her “eager beaver” behavior became a huge turn off. To Héctor, she seemed to be a type of girl that had no rest nor knew how and when to keep it down, and in his head, he used to paint this picture of her where she is making cupcakes every day, talking to fluffy animals and farting rainbows.

So, when she approached their group at the party, wearing a teal-coloured dress that wasn’t really a proper fit for her height or body type, carrying Aubameyang’s son in her arms, he waited for that bubble of overbearing happiness to burst in front of them.

But it never did.

Instead, she greeted everyone with a short “hello” before reaching the little boy back to his father. “I apologise for interrupting your fun, but the best dressed man in this room wanted to go back to his daddy.”

“Excuse me—” Calum started, clearing his throat loudly as he smoothed down his tie. “What about us? We look decent as well, no?”

His hand went towards Héctor’s shoulder, brushing the invisible dust from Héctor’s suit.

Héctor swatted his hand away.

“You look good too,” she replied, followed by a brief silence as Héctor took a sip of water, stopping himself from rolling his eyes.

Wasn’t she a walking chatterbox?

Has she already asked about Calum’s mother's wellbeing?

“Only good?” Alexandre pressed, but she sighed in defeat.

“Well, I hope you enjoy your evening…” she trailed off, breaking the banter that his teammates started. “I have to go back to—” she bit her lip, looking behind her shoulder, “—I have some stuff to do.”

Only a few seconds later, Héctor watched her walk away through the crowd of men dressed in black suits and red ties.

Part II

#hector bellerin fan fiction #hector bellerin fic #Football Fanfiction #soccer fanfiction #footballer fanfiction #arsenal fanfiction #soccer imagine #soccer oneshot #footballer oneshot #footballer imagine #hector bellerin fanfiction #hector bellerin imagine #hector bellerin oneshot

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one-more-offbeat-anthem · 4 years

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this year i participated in the @snowbaz-sweethearts-exchange and got paired with the lovely @the-lincyclopedia! <3 this is the second snowbaz-themed exchange I've done, and it was good fun ^_^ be sure to check out the other fics from the exchange, and to lin, I hope you enjoy this fic!

--------------------------------- Simon

Valentine’s with Baz number one: we had just defeated the Humdrum, but were still in the weird quasi-relationship stage, and he was at Watford, so Penny snuck me in and the three of us took turns jokingly reading from some terrible romance novel. Baz kissed me when Penny went to the bathroom. I think she did it on purpose so we would have the chance.

Valentine’s with Baz number two: I was deep in the throes of my depression, brought on by 1) no longer having magic, 2) feeling like the people closest to me (Penny and Baz) were far better than me, and 3) ditching therapy when it got hard because I was scared. I think Baz was almost surprised that I said “sure” to his suggestion of watching a rom-com. But I curled up on the couch with him, and later Penny joined us and we all decided the movie was terrible.

Valentine’s with Baz number three: today.

It had been less than a year since we had finally gotten rid of whatever the bloody hell else needed it (there was always something, wasn’t there?) and I had decided that this Valentine’s day things were going to be different. I had promised myself that.

More like I had promised Penny, who told me that I couldn’t just quit therapy, and then I had promised Baz, with lots of crying, that I was going to stop sucking (he cried too, and then asked me if was making a vampire joke, and I wasn’t but that set us both off into gales of laughter that ended in properly hugging for the first time in ages, i.e. not in a life-or-death situation.)

I had missed him.

I had also missed myself.

Which was why I was spending my morning, while Penny and Baz were both off at their respective colleges, being fancy and academic, making cherry scones. To be more specific: I was making heart-shaped cherry scones.

Cherry scones made me think of Watford, something that was getting easier to think about as time went on. For so long, Watford had been my favorite place, a happy place, and then all of that had been shattered. At least we were out of the woods now.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to make them as well as the kitchens at school, but I’d found a recipe online and gone to the store and everything. And I’d picked out a movie to watch that didn’t look terrible, and planned to get takeout from Baz’s favorite Thai place, and I’d convinced Penny and Shepard to find somewhere, anywhere else to be.

(I think they were going to one of those kitschy old-timey diners and then to a double feature at the movie theater. I hadn’t really paid attention.)

Everything was going to be perfect.

There was no way it wouldn’t be.

***** Baz

The flat was far too quiet when I got back from classes.

If Simon was here (which I knew he was, he didn’t have work today), the television was usually blaring with whatever he was binge watching at the moment, and really there should have been a lot of noise, because Shepard and Penny were always here before me.

But no, there was just silence, and all of the lights were off except for one I could see coming from the kitchen.

I rounded the corner and took in the scene that lay before me. It looked sort of like a bomb had gone off in the room--flour everywhere, a mess of sugar on the stove, the oven half-open, and a tray of very burned scones on the counter.

The scones were also heart-shaped. Kind of.

“Simon?” I called out.

No answer.

“Snow,” I tried, hoping to get a rise out of him.

I walked around the kitchen island and there was Simon, sitting on the floor in front of the sink, his head buried in his hands. He was absolutely covered with flour.

“Simon? Love?” I crouched down next to him. “What’s wrong?”

He looked up at me, his gorgeous face tracked with tears. “I’ve ruined Valentine’s Day.”

“You--” I glanced around the kitchen. “This was for me?”

Simon nodded, scrubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “I’m--” a hiccup, “--Not that good at baking, as it turns out.”

“I can tell.”

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, because it sent another round of tears streaming down his face. I pulled him into my arms (my clothes were going to get covered in flour, too, but I couldn’t find it in me to care) and he pressed his face into my chest.

“I just wanted to make today perfect,” Simon said. “Since all of our other Valentine’s Days sucked, and things had been bad until recently--”

“Hey.” I cut him off, pulled back so that I could hold his face between my hands. “Don’t beat yourself up about that. There was a lot going on. You know what would make my Valentine’s Day perfect?”

“What?” Simon blinked at me, his eyelashes sparkling with tears.

“If I spent it with you. Which I’m going to do. We’re going to clean this up, okay? And then we’re going to find a terrible rom-com to pretend to watch and actually make out during.”

“And that would be okay with you?” Simon furrowed his brow. “That’s just a normal date night. I mess up the kitchen, we clean it up, we ‘watch’ a movie. It’s not special.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that anything’s special with you?” I rolled my eyes and stood up, offering my hands to Simon. “Now get up, before you make me any sappier.”

“Hmph.” Simon took my outstretched hands and let me pull him up. When we were both standing, I took him into my arms again, chest-to-chest. I couldn’t help it. Simon had always been so warm and good, and I had to admit to myself that him trying to do something special felt nice.

I kissed him, because I could, soft and slow, and then pulled away to see a small smile forming on his face. “What are you thinking about, Snow?” I asked, cocking one of my eyebrows up.

“Just how nice this is.”

“Gross.” But I kissed him again, brought one hand up to his cheek, because I wasn’t going to take this for granted, not after all we’d had to fight through to get here. I pressed my forehead against his. “I love you, Simon.”

“Love you too.”

I’m still going to die kissing Simon Snow. Just not today.

#carry on #snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #snowbaz sweethearts exchange #offbeatwrites

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ejm513 · 4 years

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FAIRY TAIL NEXT GEN CHILDREN-GRUVIA EDITION

NALU

1-I know there is now a cannon child for edo Nalu and edo Gruvia with names and everything. I also know that Gajeel and Levy have twins and Levy is currently pregnant in 100 Years Quest. I love it and their names and everything about those precious babies-but I’ve had these ideas and characters and backstories growing and developing in my head for years so I’m being the stubborn Taurus that I am and sticking with it.

2-Also please forgive any misspellings and grammar mistakes as I am dyslexic and my school failed us at teaching spelling and grammar. I did my best.

Hello my lovelies!!

So I’ve spent most of the day working on the first two ships and editing everything so I figured why not just post the second one right away.

And the next ship we’re doing on this crazy journey is my personal favorite my OTP to end all OTPS

GRUVIA!!

Ah yes people... I’m in my happy place.

THE FULLBUSTERS:

Nicolai Sliver Fullbuster- Nicknames- Nick, Nicky, Nicky Bear (gotta love little sisters)

Birthday: March 15th, 797 (Bonus points if anyone gets the reference :P)

Magic: Ice Make Magic

Appearance:

-Height: 5’10 (same height as Gray)

-Hair: Dark and thick like Grays, slightly wavy curiosity of his mother.

-Eye color: Dark blue and large like he’s mother’s.

-Built like his father.

-He and Gray are the closest to clones.

IMPORTANT FACTS:

-Gray doesn’t want his boy to deal with the consequences of being a demon slayer… so he doesn’t teach him how to be one. At least not completely. He does pass on some techniques and skills but nothing more.

-For example he teaches him Ice Make Sliver.

-He got the name Nikolai Sliver from both of his grandfathers-I chose a Russian name because I have this idea in my head that in the real world Juvia would be Russian and nothing can convince me otherwise.

-Though he got over it eventually poor thing hated the cold and having to strip in the snow.

-He too got the illness Ultrear had, and while he didn’t get through it as easily as the Dragnell children he got through it in the end.

And before anyone ask yes… he stripes.

Personality:

-Kind

-Loyal (but maybe not to a fault)

-Laid back like his father

-A little moody and temperamental at times

-Can be a bit reserved but more or less wears his heart on his sleeve like Juvia.

-Very imaginative like his mother… which sometimes lead him to being a little ditzy and spacy.

-Very loving

-Very protective of those he loves

-Definitely inherited Juvia’s possessiveness-when his sister was being introduced to the guild for the first time after she was born he grabbed hold of her little blanket, stood in front of her and said

“No! She’s MY baby sister!!”

-Gray QUICKLY helped him get it under control

-A huge romantic like Juvia…like MAJOR romantic. He even enjoys reading her romance novels (but don’t you dare tell anyone)

-He also enjoys drawing, doing anything in the snow and ice

-Very intelligent and did well in school-given his magic he was particularly skilled in art. No one understands how he managed to do so well in school because his note books are covered in doodles

-In general just a much more open and expressive person than his father or sister, much more like his mother.

Relationships:

-Extremely close with both of his parents-the Fullbusters are known for having a very close knit and loving family.

-Like almost every boy in this generation he is a total mama’s boy and you better not call him out on it.

-Also idolizes his father and wants to be just like him

-Absolutely adores his little sister is very gentle and sweet with her. He’s extremely protective of her and one of the only four people he can be a little possessive over (the others being Lila and his parents).However, she can get on his nerves because like most little siblings she follows him everywhere and wants to do everything with him. Plus they can both be temperamental and stubborn. They are also so much alike yet express themselves in such different ways that it causes clashes. As a result, they bicker the most out of any of the siblings in the next gen-but their fights never, EVER turn physical. But the bottom line is they are exceptionally close-so close in fact they are one of the only pairs in the next gen that can successfully pull of a Unison Raid.

-Real he just wants Eliza to stop calling him Nicky Bear… in public at least.

-The first of his two best friends is Simon Scarlet. At first it was a matter of convenience because he was the only boy in the guild close to her age, but it didn’t take too long to become genuine friends. They love to bond over their love of sweets. The other of course is Lila.

And naturally Happy… Happy is everyone’s best friend

-He has loved Lila pretty much his entire life-before he even understood what that feeling was. When he learned what the concept of marriage, he knew right away she was the one he was going to marry. As stated before he constantly referred to her as his wife as children and when they were older (like almost 20 or older than 20) he would say “You know I’m going to marry you one day Dragnell right?”

Elizaveta/ Eliza/ Liza Ur Fullbuster

Birthday: November 23rd, 801

Magic: Water.

Appearance:

Height: 5’2 (a couple of inches shorter than Juvia who is 5’4 according to the Wiki)

Hair: Long, thick and wavy like Juvia’s, dark like Gray’s

Eyes: Juvia’s shape but dark like Gray’s

-She has the same gifted build as Juvia, but somehow a little more fragile looking

-Has her father’s smile

-Yes that beautiful beautiful smile

-Has heard from Gray that despite her strong resemblance to her mother something about her reminds him of his mother

IMPORTANT FACTS:

-Elizaveta or Eliza Ultear got her name from Juvia’s mother and obviously Ultear. Eliza is what she goes by and only those closest with her call her Liza

-Eliza was born five weeks early and this caused… problems. She was extremely sick as a baby. She ended up becoming dyslexic. Finally, it messed with her powers. She has water powers like her mother, but because she was born so early they are technically incomplete because her body isn’t completely made of water like Juvia. This means she’s not impervious to physical attacks, but she makes up for it in other ways.

-Due to being born early and being a little sickly, when she got that infamous illness all the children in the next gem see to get Ultear’s illness (I have no idea what else to call it) she got hit the worse. She actually came close to dying and Gray and Juvia were told to expect the worst.

-Because of this, despite obviously being a skilled and well trained wizard, Eliza is more known for her emotion strength and endurance rather than her physical strength (at least until she was almost an adult)

-Is definitely no ice wizard and can’t stand the cold, but did learn some tricks including how to freeze her rain into snow or freezing rain.

And yes… she is absolutely forbidden to strip under any and all circumstances unless she doesn’t want to see the outside world until she’s 30 or until Gray is dead… which ever comes first

Personality:

-Massive, huge heart of gold

-Very sweet

-Very shy and introverted

-Extremely reserved, keeps everything close to her chest like her father

-Appears laid back but is a ball of emotion and anxiety and occasional bouts of depression

-Comes off as an ethereal, sweet, Mary Jane type of dainty princess when she is anything but

-Actually, has a very snarky, sarcastic sense of humor a la Gray and is just funny like her mother.

-Is never willing to start a fight but if you push her enough she follows the same line of thought as Lila;

-Is very stubborn, moody and temperamental at times

-Very ambitious and always smiling despite everything that’s happened to her.

-Is quiet laid back with her language when she’s older and has been known to swear.

-Is also great at impressions.

-Has Juvia’s quiet astounding imagination and is definitely a dreamer.

-Is a HUGE romantic, openly reading her mother’s romance novels. Otherwise she’s very good at hiding it… mostly.

-Exceptionally smart but struggles with math and is a slow reader because of her dyslexia. She excels in history and music.

-I have a head cannon that Juvia can sing because of all the hydration she gets from having a water body, mermaids/sirens luring sailors with their voices and because apparently Juvia’s voice actress can sing. So Eliza inherited that gift but never sings on stage for the public.

RELATIONSHIPS:

-Because of how sickly she has always been, and because she was the first girl born to the guild a string of boys, and because of how bad she’s treated by kids at school, Eliza is utterly spoiled and a little coddled by all. No on one minds though because she never acts spoiled. She just loves having such a safe and warm space to fall.

-Like her brother is super close to her parents.

-Juvia is her rock and the pair are inseparable.

-She is also daddy’s littler girl though don’t you ever get her to admit it. They love joking around with each other and just talking.

-She adores and idolizes her big brother-her Nicky Bear. She always wanted to follow him around and do what he did-which after a certain point would get on his nerves. She also sometimes get annoyed with how protective he can be. They can both be a little possessive over each other and their parents. As mentioned before they have many of the same personality traits but express them in different ways, so they bicker a lot. But in the end she would be lost without him.

-Like her mother Eliza was unfortunately bullied badly by kids outside the guild and even more unfortunate a few kids in the guild. So her three closest friends are Lila Dragnell, Hazel Redfox and much to her chagrin Iggy Dragnell.

-Iggy is the only person who can flare her temper on the daily and who she has fought with-he never fights with more than words but from time to time she will blast him with water just to get him to leave her alone. He is more or less the annoying younger brother she never asked for but similar to her own brother would be lost without him.

-And before you ask no she has not and will never have a crush or any romantic feelings for Iggy… but Simon Scarlet on the other hand….

-Has a love hate relationship with Happy after he was flying her around ounce and dropped her from pretty high up which gave her a fear of heights.

All right my lovelies!! That is it for this round! I’ll be back soon... hopefully with the next ship!!!

GAJEELX LEVY!!!

#fairy tail #fairy tail next generation #gray fullbuster #Juvia Lockser #Gray X Juvia #gruvia #Headcanon #ocs #super long #this is gonna take forever

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partnersatfazbear · 4 years

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Analysis of The Real Jake (SPOILERS)

I can't decide whether to make this post a stream-of-consciousness style or group it into evidence for x... but since it's easier, I'll just write my thoughts as I go. Although a lot of this is factual ties to, say, FNAF 4, things like relating Margie to Henry are just my own headcanon and you can do with that what you will AKA don't take this all too seriously, but have fun with it. There’s also specific notes about Michael Afton, for those that just want to know what was said regarding him (presumably).

Before I start, please note I've had three hours of sleep in the last... 28 hours? IDK I can't math, especially not on this little sleep. So, there may be errors. I tried to make a note on things I was unsure about, too.

Note: I wrote this before the Evan=CC theory was all but confirmed. Although I believe this theory from the logbook, I think a lot of these notes are still valid.

Read my notes under the cut:

Margie shares similar physical appearance to Henry: Pg 84 “The window fan blew a lock of her shoulder-length brown hair across her upper lip so it looked like she had a mustache.”

“Mrs. Afton” stand in is mentioned: Pg 86 “...it had been four years since his Mom had died...” (Jake is 9 in the story)

I notice when Scott mentions plaid. Pg 87 “...a green-and-blue plaid plush chair...” I mostly wanted to note this since canonically, Henry had a green plaid shirt.

“William” stand in is mentioned. Pg 89 “And you know he thinks about you [Jake] all the time?” “So, he has to concentrate on what he's doing... ...I don't want him thinking about me and end up shooting himself in the foot or something.” Pg 102 “Yeah, I did. [I spilled some chocolate ice cream] Right on my shirt!” Pg 122 “I did that today! [While playing a DDR like game, breaking a shoelace.]” (Admittedly, I only counted these because I headcanon William is much more of a bumbling fool than he appears. It comes up very often as you can see... although you could write it off as Evan just trying to relate to his kid.)

“William” stand in is mentioned. Pg 92 “...Margie was pretty sure Evan couldn't afford to replace a washer and dryer” and “...Evan, at his rank, could barely afford her” Pg 110 “Gillian's house shared stlying with Evan's, but hers was probably four times bigger.” (Again, I headcanon William and his family is on the low end of middle class, if not lower, in terms of income. Particularly, the house is cramped.)

“Mrs. Afton” stand in is mentioned. Pg 93 “First, Jake's Mom was killed.” Pg 139 “The mom's dead.” (You could infer that she died via something akin to a car crash in the context of the story, however if you reflect it to the games given the commonalities, I like to think of this as confirmation that William murdered her, given the word 'killed' is used.)

Margie records herself on her cell phone. Pg 93 (and on other pages) (Again referencing my headcanon for Henry, in which he records ideas/diaries often. At minimum, Henry is referred to as “Cassette Man” in PizzaSim so... I just thought it could make for an interesting comparison.)

Jake mentions his “friends”. Pg 99 “Patty and Davey... Vic... and the twins... Ellie and Evie... Kyle, Clay, and Garrett” (Also, he isn't mentioned until later, but there's his best friend Brandon, too. I noted these in reference to CC talking about his 'friends', either IRL or the plushies. I assume his IRL friends are the MCI victims. The number doesn't add up though. I really, really wanted to make a connection about the twins, considering Charlie and Sammy are twins, but there wasn't enough evidence to write it off as anything other than a coincidence. Also... Clay, really? We need another double name in this series? Ugh.)

What's your favorite flavor? Chocolate Pg. 102 “What flavor did you get?” “Chocolate. Duh.” (This is a stretch, but it did remind me of Help Wanted's final level in the main game, where you're asked to choose your favorite cake flavor. Although, they're discussing ice cream here.)

Maybe some insight into William's personality? Pg. 103 “You ever do that, Evan?” “What?” “Let off steam.” “Me? No. Steam is pretty much what keeps me going.” (Just more evidence that William is obsessed with his work. You could imply “steam” implies he runs like a machine, but that's stretching a bit.)

Pg. 113 -118 (Jake climbs out of his window to run off to play at the arcade with his friend. Obvious parallel to the child in Midnight Motorist, although it's daytime and no animatronics/fursuits luring him.) There is this, on Pg 121 also. Jake says, “We played all the racing games. I love racing games.”

PURPLE Pg 121 “...did you get a slushie at the arcade? I got one. I got grape. It turned my tongue purple.” “My tongue's purple, too!” “Purple power!” (Uh, do I really need to explain this? I should note that Evan is the one mentioning “grape”. I guess William likes grape flavor and purple.)

'Michael' is mentioned. Sort of a stand in for Michael Afton, but it should be noted that Michael and Evan are brothers in this universe. Pg 126, 127 “Michael...lived in Europe for a few years...” “Michael's a serious dude. He's, well, a little different. He's intense about making money...the way he is about it... can make him seem like he's not human.” “So, he's like a cyborg with bad programming?” Michael has some dialogue: “You must excersize caution. You could get chocolate on my suit, and that would be bad. Very, very bad.” (The very very bad thing is a running joke in the family, which is why this comes up. I don't have a lot to say about it, though. I think Michael [Afton] being obsessed with money seems a bit counter intuitive to how we know him, but who knows? I also want to note that Evan doesn't seem antagonistic towards Michael; in fact, he “hate[s] to ask him for favors”.)

Also, Pg 141 “His [Michael's] flat, gruff voice was unmistakable.” Michael is also the first one to hear his father is dead and informs Margie about it. “I have been notified that Evan's dead.” Pg 142 “She had only met Michael the one time, and she knew the way he processed the world was very different from what was “normal”” Michael also states to Margie: “I've got Evan's will... you're Jake's guardian and he left you the house and some savings. I'm the executor.” Margie also says: “He[Michael]'s a numbers genius, manages money for the wealthy people and has made a killing doing it.” “He's not a bad guy. He just doesn't know how to connect. He doesn't feel the way we do.” (Just more Michael characterization.)

Direct FNAF 4 easter egg references: Pg 128 “...the IV stand lurking in the corner of the room” Pg 129 “...and the line of perscription medication bottles marching across the top of the chest of drawers”

Margie is more than a nanny and possibly in love with Evan: Pg. 139 “She'd come to love Evan, too... like a brother.” Pg 140 “...she was included in the outings, movie nights, game nights, and storytelling time...” Pg 149 “...she wanted Evan to be more than just a boss, and being in his room when he was gone made her feel like a lovelorn stalker.” “Love him like a brother... She snorted. Boy, had she been lying to herself.” Pg 158 “What she was feeling called for a screaming fit or a total mental breakdown.” (Yeah, this is just me reading too much into this for Willry content, haha... But still. I am determined that Margie is a Henry stand-in.)

'I will put you back together' Pg 140 “I'm trying to bring you home whole.” (Evan is discussing “no man left behind” with his son, Jake. I think this is obvious.)

William's home office? Pg. 149 “When he was home, she'd go in and vacuum or put away laundry... ...when he was gone...coming in here felt like an invasion of privacy.” “Evan's room would be her room.” “...I'd feel like I was sleeping in your bed, she thought.” “...the room felt discretely masculine.” “The walls were covered in family photos.” “The shelves were stuffed with fiction... mysteries to classics, nonfiction... how-to books...from rebuilding a car engine to planting a garden.”

FNAF 4 reference. Pg 152 “Outside, a dog barked.” (You can hear a dog barking as ambient noise during nights when playing FNAF 4.)

Other notes:

It happens a lot, but one of the main things in the book is the doll Simon and how Jake talks to it. This is very blatantly a reference to the Golden Freddy Plush (“Psychic Friend Fredbear”). The story confirms it's Jake's father, Evan, talking through it. Although it makes the one scene in FNAF 4 a little wonky (the only scene where we see Purple Guy), I think it's pretty much confirmed that it's William talking to CC now. Obviously, we already suspected this due to Sister Location's “Secret Room”. In this story, Evan says he did it because he wanted to give Jake some hope he would live. Combined with both the IV/medicine bottle easter eggs (in the story and FNAF 4) I think it's plausible to assume that CC was taken home after the Bite of '83 for a period of time before he passed away. I will admit, also, that Evan definetly comes off as a very caring father (in comparison to how we presume William is based on what we've seen of him as a person; although I argued this before on this blog, I don't think William hates his kids. I think he's neglectful, moreso as the story goes on. I think he resents Michael for many reasons but I won't go into that here. I just don't think he's the abusive monster the fanbase interprets him to be—at least not early on.)

The cabinet reminds me a lot of the closets in the novel series. A built in shelf with a doll in it. A doll that represents a child. Considering Margie tends to this doll (see Pg. 130-135), I have to draw more parallels between her and Henry.

The fan is mentioned A LOT. I don't really know why, but I guess we can't help but think of every single FNAF office when it's brought up. Specifically, on Pg. 106, Margie mentions the fan in her room is as loud as a jet engine and the sound made her nervous. Once again, I'm reminded of PizzaSim. Seriously, screw you fan.

The heat is mentioned a lot, too. I know the story takes place in summer, but this did remind me of Pizza Sim.

Pg. 93 “Margie sat down in the faded blue webbed lawn chair that was set up, for reasons she never understood, in front of the shelves by the stairs.” (I noted this because it's specifically called out and I don't know why.)

Margie talks about why she's working for Evan: Pg. 95 “I didn't get the internship I applied for.” I like to think her and Mia (from 1280) were after the same internship. (I may be misremembering, but I'm pretty sure Mia mentioned an internship at the hospital.)

Jake is mentioned to have brown hair, green eyes. His favorite color is green. He also wears green often. I couldn't find anything really interesting about it. It would make more sense as a Puppet reference, tbh (because of the green bracelet (and eyes? I may be remembering wrong) I guess it's also worth noting that Elizabeth has green eyes.

Pg 135 “Are you afraid people will think you're murdering me?” “...I could end you so quickly you'd never make a sound.” (Just an odd conversation between Jake and Margie. Margie is joking here, obviously.) Also, Pg. 136 “I just figured your [Jake's] wires got crossed or your circuits were frying.” (Admittedly, I don't know what to make of this. Could be a reference to Robot-CC, if you believe that or MikeBot [I don't], but more likely just ironic dialogue. It could also reference Jake's future in the Stichwraith?)

Pg 139 “Sometimes, Margie wished she was like one of the robots Jake liked so much.” (Although I can't really compare this to Henry, I did write William with this mindset and thought it was worth mentioning.)

Pg 141+ So, Evan dies overseas (he's a soldier). (I think this could be hinting that William has been springlocked around the time CC passes away. Jake has been home for some time after his diagnosis so we can infer based on that and the easter eggs that CC was brought home to die in peace. At the very least, William's probably very absent during this time. Possibly brought in for questioning but not arrested. I don't know. I feel like there's something to this.)

Pg 154 “Dave's at work.” (Why? Can we not use established names? Aghhh)

Pg 155 “The ambulance arrived at 11:32.” (I don't know why this is stated so outright. I couldn't find a reason, except that a few paragraphs earlier they say it will arrive by noon. I don't know why it's so specific, but I felt like noting it anyway.)

Pg 159 “Five people. Five sets of eyes. And none of them noticed...” (Yeah. We all know how important 5 is in FNAF.)

Three medical personel are mentioned. One at the end is named Nancy [No Last Name Given], but I like to think its a reference to Man in 1280 and we're dealing with Heracles Hospital once more, although it's never said in this story. Speaking of, the only thing that really stood out to me in 1280's story was that a billionare funded the restoration of the hospital. I like to headcanon that was Henry's doing—I imagine him obscessing over overcompensating for his mistakes by giving back in every way possible, even if it isn't directly related to him.

So, this post only took two hours of my life. I hope someone gets some use out of it, be it for my intended Willry purposes or maybe those Michael fans that are curious about it. If you enjoyed this post, let me know. I'd love to write up more of these if I have the time.

I have other write-ups on this blog, too. Just search fnaf theories on my blog page!

#fazbear frights #spoilers #blackbird #the real jake #michael afton #william afton #henry emily #crying child #willry #helliam #fnaf 4 #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fan theory #fnaf theories #fnaf theory

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