#is there any audience for edits of the girls... i dont know

[expergoe]

VCHA for TEEN VOGUE

[alastorsfuckassbob]

You're Never Fully Dressed-

Alastorxfem!reader

oh boy everyone's favorite! Please I have never written before, I just figured I'd give it a shot it was 1:35 and I was not feeling sleepy so an hour later here it is, its not edited so SORRY ABOUT THAT- all of my friends are normal and would definitely not proof read this hot garbo!

Basic Plot!! Yikes another song fic i know i KNOWW, the reader knew our good pal Al in her life but oopsies he "left" her (he died duh) and now shes taking a sad hot girl bubble bath to reminisce!!

Lyrics are bolded, past events Italics for the most part.

ALSO Please DNI if you're a minor k thanks bye!! You are responsible for your own internet consumption, so here are the warnings! If you don't want to view that ✨dont✨

Warnings include:

-Swearing

-Violence

-Alcohol Use but not abuse! (its hell duh)

-Abusive Relationships

-Slight Innuendo but not a strong one!

-Angst

The fire danced, flitting left and right. It was different than any other fire set in hell, it wasn't meant to hurt anyone or destroy anything. It was just a small flame, melancholically melting the dripping wax down the white lilac scented pillar. Floral scents were hard to come by unless you made them yourself, it was hell after all, its not like theres a flower garden planted on every corner. The candles single wick didn't produce more than a drop of light. It just flickered every now and then, entertaining its own little lonesome sway. Your demeanor softened as you looked at it from the petal filled bath you currently resided in.

Oddly you felt at peace, understood, almost comforted. You had learned to dance the same way it seemed. You caught yourself when you fell, twisting and turning to please an audience. It was a cruel existence. At least the flame looked content in some way, at least it would never know what it was like to contort under the will of another. Yet it was still a light in darkness, shining for no other reason than to survive...All it could ever do was take, even if it didn't want to, fire needs to burn. To burn it must destroy. You sighed sinking deeper into the bubbly water. You didn't want to think about your past. Not anymore. You didn't have to anymore anyway. Life had not been kind to you and that constant displeasure followed you through your death and into the pits of hell. Funny how suffering could follow biting desperately at your heels and the man who was so "desperately" in love with you in life just couldn't find it within himself to stay...God you sounded bitter. To be fair you were. After all he had ruined your life and he didn't even know it...It wasn't that bad was it? You probably would still be in hell regardless, even without his "involvement" or lack of- you had always been a sinner. It wasn't worth it to be upset, not anymore he's most likely dead, you definitely are, whose to say if he'd even wind up down here. You paused a moment, laughing at the silly conclusion overthinking had led you to.. no that fucker is definitely in hell. Sweet as he was up front, he had a dark side that went much deeper than his soft exterior could cover. You closed your eyes..

1923- Central New Orleans

Suddenly it was 1923. The flower lined streets of late spring in New Orleans. His smile never wavering as he dragged you from store to store. As your dear companion, and biggest supporter, he had asked you to assist him at the radio station. Now that you had finished school you would need a job anyway. You'd always had a beautiful voice and a knack for writing. It just made sense. His hand squeezed yours lightly pulling you from your thoughts. In his hands, he held a burgundy day dress and a matching bow.

"Darling, would you try this on for me? I believe it is high time you were rewarded for all of your hard work. I believe you would simply sparkle in this color"

You smile softly at his gentle tone, taking the delicate dress in your hands. You find yourself caught in his eyes. It feels like you two are the only people on the planet

You feel the familiar sensation of tears on your face, you open your eyes again, you hadn't realized you'd started crying.

you let out the shrill scream you didn't know you were holding in. the fluke of champagne you had so tediously been savoring since you began your bath cracked slightly. You downed the rest of the glass, and grabbed the bottle sitting lazily on the floor. You didn't want to think about him or your life anymore...but it consumed you. You had so many more important things to fret about in your..current..environment. Songs to sing, bitches to kill, people to fuck. A grand glorious array of newer shinier problems, and yet you were stuck sulking about the past. You take a deep breath shaking slightly despite the warm vanilla scented water surrounding you. You remove your hand from the water motioning to the shadow hiding behind a vase (of no more than slightly wilted roses). It slinks forward at your beckoning, climbing to the white marble countertop of your vanity, it clicks the worn down knob of your rickety old radio. light jazzy music trickles out and fills the air with lovesick nostalgia you weren't entirely prepared to let in. No matter what he had done...you would always fall back to him. Even if he was nothing more than ill-fated failed fourteen year "endeavor". fourteen years is quite a long time, even if the majority of it was spent more or less platonically. You really did love him. Love doesn't always follow those that leave, you are testimony and truth to that. You let your mind wander guided by the static filled notes of the radio.

Hey, hobo man

Hey, Dapper Dan

You've both got your style

But brother

You're never fully dressed

Without a smile!

Even through the shudder of the static, it really did sound like him. Despite being the "host" of the station. He had his fair share of performances. For such a Hell bound soul he had the voice of an angel.

You close your eyes once again and allow the melody to take you back to an easier time.

1926- New Orleans, Your apartment

You sing along with whatever tune the radio gives you. You're at peace, simply existing for no other reason than to be with your friend.

"Dance with me my little canary, your voice lights a fire within me"

He pulls you in by the waist. His hands splayed across your hips holding them with a gentleness you'd never expected him to hold for you. He leans his head down against the yours and places a chaste kiss on your forehead

"Alastor" you giggle, the sensation tickling you slightly. "You are quite ridiculous"

"Ridiculous?" he feigns hurt. "My darling I am so far from ridiculous the word does not find sense within my ears" he spins you around and into his chest, you roll your eyes ignoring his antics

"Dearest are you aware you are speaking with the future of radio?"

"The future of radio? Please Love, don't jest. The 20s surely have more in store than you" You laugh into his chest and he shockingly laughs with you.

Neither of you know it but you are both so drunk on the sound. To you, his laugh sounds like the swift church bells that used to ring throughout your home town whenever someone got married. It feels familiar and yet like a distant memory. It makes you want to hear it over and over again until your ears stop working, and even then you'd settle in just fine feeling the vibrations of his chest. He sounds like home. To him, your laugh sounds like the rushing creek and smooth algae covered stones resting deep beneath the trees draped in Spanish moss of his mothers cabin in the woods. Just hearing your laugh he can feel the spotted sunlight speckling his freckled face underneath the big willow tree. You sound like home. Everything about you- it felt like home to him. His hands were crafted to hold soft curves of your body. His ears were made to hear your voice and your voice alone. You were purpose, his home. You don't know it, but it is that realization that sparked the idea of marriage into his heart.

That fire was put out not long after.

You at least had those nine years as his friend, three years as his "copain" if you will- and two years as his fiancée...and so many years alone. You only spent 14 years in the company of this man. You had lived before knowing him a good 17 years, and a good long bit after.

Why were you so stuck?

You hum along subconsciously, the objects in your bathroom begin to glow a familiar pink, levitating slightly in the air as you continue to hum. Your ability isn't weak by any means, but for some reason you were. You were nothing in comparison to hells overlords, especially the newest trio of Vs. Your power is so deeply connected to your voice, how can you hold power when it doesn't belong to you anymore? You drift back to the memory of your arrival. Scared, alone, dressed a great deal less than modestly, and equipped with nothing more than a pair of horns, some wings you couldn't quite use yet, and a thin devil like tail. It was only your third hour in hell. You didn't understand the rules. You were playing a twisted game in which you didn't realize you were just another piece of.

Shock can make a person anxious and fear will make them stupid. He was tall and smelled distinctly of cigars, soured whiskey, and something pungently sweet you couldn't name. It burned your nose as you inhaled it. You would become well aquatinted with the smell of lust in the years to come, you just didn't know it yet. It seemed innocent at first, just a simple contract, no different than a job. All you had to do was sing and dance at a club, in exchange for safety. But it was different and it wasn't innocent. He was cruel and yet no different than so many of the men you had dealt with in life. He agreed to your terms of anonymity and thats about it. You had your private life and his life. Valentino never played fair. You didn't know that yet, and now you're hells favorite sinner, a least no one knew it was you. If he had asked you another day later you would have realized you could have probably fended for yourself, with some difficulty anyway. At least you wouldn't have to be in this mess. You wouldn't be fucking six people before noon. You wouldn't be constantly covered in bruises and scars...Maybe you could have found him, Alastor that is. Maybe you could have at least been friends again. Its silly to hope for anything more since your romantic relationship ended...✨the way it did✨

Your clothes may be Beau Brummelly

They stand out a mile

But brother

You're never fully dressed

Without a smile!

1931- New Orleans, The river

The two of you sit beside each other in a small wooden row boat. Your hair is tied back with your signature crimson ribbon. He fiddles with the pocket of his jacket. The Louisiana soundscape of crickets, frogs and running water accompanies your conversation. Fireflies light up the air, almost bringing the stars down to your fingertips. With a buzz and a gentle green glow, the small creature lands on your hand. Your smile leaks wonderment and Alastor can hardly contain the love he feels for you.

As a Radio Host, he is quite agile in the way of words, yet something about you has him constantly at a loss. He takes a deep breath, unsure of what to say his voice wavers as he begins to speak.

"y/n, I want to thank you for the effect you've had in my lif-"

"My love look at the stars!" You didn't mean to cut him off, Your arms stretched upwards your face turning to meet his. The stars were so much brighter then they were in the city, it was only natural for you to be excited

"Yes doll, I see them, they're the same as they were last night and many many nights before hand"

You let out an impatient huff

"that doesn't make them any less beautiful." a mischievous glint hides in your eyes "now wouldn't it be so dreadfully terrible if I got bored looking at you just because I've already seen you before?" You fake a yawn and look at him eyes seething with boredom

"It would be so dreadful considering I was about to propose to you"

There is no other word to describe what you felt other than shocked. You had been an item for quite some time, but you never figured he would stick around (and "seal the deal" if you will).

Tears begin to run down your face rambling small words of agreement and love. You had never expected him to..love you that way. He was who he was, a dreadfully popular radio host, and you weren't really anything more than an assistant. People really only listened for him..yet in this moment, he was speaking only for you.

"I love you so dearly my y/n. If life without you exists I do not want to exist through it"

Who cares what they're wearing

On Main Street

Or Saville Row

1934: New Orleans, Alastor's house

The house was empty. He was gone. Fully and truly gone. It had been a year since you'd seen or heard from him and six months since the birth of your son. It didn't feel like your house, it didn't feel like your life anymore. It was all still his. His things still bled into your side of the closet, his last purchase, a book, dust encrusted and unread. The blankets and pillows set on the couch exactly as you both had left them after falling asleep to the rain the night before he left wordlessly. You found yourself sporting one of his shirts more often than your own...until eventually they didn't smell like him anymore. The whole house used to reek of his signature vanilla smell. Theres nothing left here but dust and the crooked board of the desk he insisted he could build himself "just fine".

It's what you wear from ear to ear

And not from head to toe

That matters

1936- New Orleans; ✨that shitty bar you performed at✨

"Get the fuck up you bitch"

You felt his hand tangle in your hair and pull you to your knees. All you could do was groan in pain.

"I'm so sorry it won't happen again I promise"

You mutter almost to yourself. He rolls his eyes shoving you into the counter smashing a glass in the process. Your vision blurs for a second seeing the glass shards decorating your h/c locks in a halo. You feel the blood trickle down your forehead.

"Do you think anyone else would hire you? A whore with nothing to her name and a useless ugly bastard child from god knows who?" You feel angered at his words. Insulting you is one thing, but your child?

But then it sinks in, he's right. The 30s are a sick decade, nothing progressive about them. No one else would hire you. You are lucky to work here..despite it all. You tell yourself anything is better than living on the streets. The mantra doesn't dull the pain but it makes it easier to put up with. You don't have a choice. You have a child to take care of.

"Get rid of him"

you stay silent unsure if you heard him correctly.

"Get rid of the boy. I don't care if you leave him in a box on the street or kill him yourself"

He reaches for a small silver knife under the bar's counter. He places it against your throat.

" y/n..You won't like it if I do it dearest, besides you are saving him the shame of having a mother like you. At least if he's adopted elsewhere he has a chance at a half decent life" he took a deep swig from his un-shattered glass of whiskey, looking at you with such deep distain.

You had never hated anyone the way you hated that man..But he was right. You would never be able to give your baby the best life. It would never get better because you couldn't make it better. So you found a young couple not to far from New Orleans, they took him in, and he got to be happy. he ended up living a successful life. He still is. If nothing else theres that. You know your own misery doesn't automatically allow others to be happier, but at times its what keeps you going.

Your mind is flooded with more and more thoughts. Thousands of little memories pilling themselves on top of you. Who would've thought, even deceased, even owned by Valentino, even trapped in an ever so violent place, the real plight of hell would be your thoughts. You light a cigarette and get out of the tub. You throw on a dark red robe and sit on the vanity's counter to brush your damp hair. The song continues into a jazzy interlude before it reprises again

Your clothes may be Beau Brummelly

They stand out a mile

But, brother

You're never fully dressed

You're never dressed

Without a smile

You stretch out your wings in the mirror, looking at your demonic self. No matter how many times you catch yourself in the mirror, even after ten years of this hellish existence. It still strikes you as odd. You look more or less the same. The same hair color and skin tone, although slightly more grey. The tail was just fucking weird no matter how long you had it. The song erupts into the finale distracting you from your thoughts. You begin to sing along with it, smiling softly. It really does sound like him. The same pink glow takes over the room as well as your body, Your eyes begin to glow that same soft pink, your hair floating above your shoulders.

Who cares what they're wearing

On Main Street

Or Saville Row

It's what you wear from ear to ear

And not from head to toe

You're never fully dressed without a smile

The last line comes out much quieter than the rest. A sense of sadness overtakes you once again as you realize how pathetic this whole night turned out. You'd spent the whole night "Simping", as Velvette would say, over a relationship that ended decades ago. Yikes. The static from the radio clicks up a few notches, You cover your ears at the sudden noise. You quickly reach for the dial in order to turn off the device..And then you hear it. You hear him.

"Dearest.." Its almost unintelligible through the static

You think you've finally fucking lost it. Ten years in Hell and you've officially gone "delulu"...another Velvette saying but it feels fitting.

“y/n.”

He called softly, the static in his voice heavy and nearly unreadable.

You almost didn't believe it.

"Y/n" He repeats the static fizzling out leaving his voice raw and almost natural. Fuck this was real. You didn’t respond. You didn’t know how to. You weren't sure if he could even hear you..how he would respond? Would it be worse if he did? It had been an entire decade since you fell, All of this time- he never bothered to contact you. Why now? Why so much later?... Had he forgotten about you? Did he just..die? You cant discern which is worse...that he had left you and your son and lived a long guilt free life...or that he made no attempt to even speak to you in the decade you had inhabited the same existence.

Ok that was all like exposition and shit..considering part two but I AM VERY TIRED RN

[jame7t]

Can I ask if you use OBS for streaming? And also any tips for an aspiring streamy girl? *looks at you with the wettest eyes*

I do use OBS ! If youre not really familiar with it, its totally worth looking up some simple tutorials for. Once you can get a grasp on the program in general, its super modular and fun to mess around with. I think my biggest pieces of advice for streaming are like. 1: IGNORE those numbers queen. It can be super easy to see streamers with anywhere from 29-100 viewers and feel sucks about an average of like. 1-4. but literally anyone who uses twitch- or any platform- has to start there unless you're already situated on a different platform!

These are my average viewers from 2020- its taken me a long time to do anything on twitch, but its been a hell of a lot of fun, and its let me meet some of my best friends in the world because of it! Streaming is a great way to meet people, which brings me to point 2: Absolutely be careful who you meet! I've met a lot of really great people on the site- but as much as small streamers gotta stick together, there's some real stinkers out there who only want to 'network' with you. I won't pretend im BFFs with everyone I interact with on the platform- we're like neighbors <3- but I can confidently say I've never spoken to someone with intentions of clout chasing. The internet's the internet- stay safe out there lmao Ironically this becomes less of a problem the more you stream, you kinda learn to spot it, but back when I was at around 300 followers I absolutely had some incidents where people were playing some real booboo games to try get closer to me. Lots of streamers have promo channels in their respective discords- places you can link your stream when you're going live- just make sure you're an active-ish member of the community if you plan on doing that! Chatters are way more likely to stop by if they recognize you- and its pretty rude to be completely silent in 45 discords unless you're going live- 3: have fun!! Twitch is still just a hobby for me- its admittedly helped me out of a few rougher financial months at random points in the last few years- but im still very far away from making it my full time job in any capacity. Pace yourself- play games with your friends- and have fun! Worrying about growth and money is a pointless endeavor- because twitch will not help you grow! 4: Use Other Platforms: (as well, i mean) There's a lot of youtube videos and tutorials debating the best streaming site- "ahh heres why i left twitch forever vs aahhh heres why im leaving youtube forever" but it boils down to Sites Is Sucks ALWAYS. Forever. If you want to grow on twitch- or any site- make sure you're posting about your streams elsewhere too! Not JUST stream promo posts, but highlights and clips as well! If you can get some sort of editing software, subtitling them expands their reach a TON across the board, though it does take more time to subtitle them. People wont know what youre doing unless you tell them! Now, this does mean you might have to download the dreaded tiktok- I can't speak for the quality of that site in terms of getting people to watch streams; but twitch itself has sent me emails in the past recommending I post clips to tiktok. Plenty of streamers do it- use your best judgement, and what sites you think you can adapt to! Tiktok honestly might be better for getting your clips out there without a preexisting audience- when I first started streaming, I had 6000 followers on tumblr and my promo posts regularly got 1-4 notes- Nothing against those 6000; a promo post is tragically similar to an ad! Of course they wouldnt click it. They dont know how sweet and awesome and silly i am and how my friends mash me with hammers. Theyd want to see that. [The Promo Posts Were Also MID] Some of these things might sound weirdly specific or erratic but its 1 AM and im just recounting some random knowledge ive gained- none of this is a science of course, people might swear the opposite for some of these things. But! Have Fun

[staarry-skies]

— usagis jealousy during bmc, and if it really is just that? a meta

(read more bc i anticipate this getting very long)

before we talk about bmc lets set the stage a bit: usagi has just defeated the dark kingdom no more than a week ago (its unclear how much time passes btwn the two arcs but i can’t imagine its longer than a week, or even a couple days, as we see usamamo exchange their keepsakes at the end of act 14, something they promised they’d do the next time they saw each other during act 8, which means that this must be the first time theyve seen each other since defeating the dark kingdom, which again, i cant imagine took longer than a couple days) which means she has just experienced: watching her boyfriend die in front of her, being overloaded with a host of tragic memories from her past life (one of them including watching her boyfriend die and killing herself), her boyfriend getting brainwashed, having to kill her boyfriend because there was no getting through to him, killing herself due to the aforementioned trauma, and finally finding out her friends died— sacrificing themselves for her to bring her back. so thats all Crazy we can agree that is crazy for a 14 year old girl to go through? right? okay? good.

now that we’ve agreed on that can you imagine a little girl falling out of a large portal in the sky then threatening you with a GUN (fake sure but she didnt know that originally) and demanding you hand over the overpowered magical artifact you JUST endured all that trauma trying to protect? and then that same girl brainwashes your family? obviously usagi isnt going to trust chibiusa right away. i mean look at what she’s working with, and then when she tries to bring up these concerns no one believes her. i mean sure WE as the audience know chibiusa isnt a threat, and the others think she isnt because they cant see a little girl as particularly threatening but when you look at things from usagis perspective, then OBVIOUSLY she’d be suspicious— i mean she repeatedly refuses to answer any sort of questions (obviously this is not chibiusas fault, shes a scared child and the questioning terrifies her further, but again, think about this from usagis perspective). and again id like to reiterate that all of this is directly after the dark kingdom, usagi hasn’t had any time to heal from those fresh fresh emotional scars Of Course she’s a bit irrational.

now, to the topic at hand, was usagis jealousy really just that? regular jealousy at seeing mamoru spending time with someone who isnt her (even if the person in question was a small child that logically posed no threat to her relationship)?

obviously i dont think so, but let me prove to you its not just simple irrational jealousy but also usagis ptsd and specifically her abandonment issues that are what cause her to react in the way she does.

again, id like to remind the jury of the shit usagi has just gone through and how that all has caused usagi to develop some very serious abandonment issues. we see usagis worst fear(s) represented in nightmare sequences a handful of times throughout the series. exactly twice actually, once in infinity and once in dream and each have the shared theme of her loved ones leaving her in some way. in infinity they turn against her and berate her before ultimately dying, and in dream they’re simply dead. again both times it is very clear that the root of what she fears is abandonment.

these abandonment issues however, first begin to present themselves in arc 2. we even get a nightmare sequence in arc 2 similar to those of arcs 3&4. most interpret this as usagi just being jealous usagi. however really look at it, its not that she’s just afraid of mamoru being taken away by chibiusa, she’s afraid of them both abandoning her. look at what she says “wait! where are you going? dont leave me behind!” (or “wait! where are you going? dont leave me here!” in the eternal edition, i prefer the crystal translation simply because it makes it more explicit her issue is them leaving her alone) if it truly truly was an issue of jealousy why would she be afraid of them both leaving her behind? why say something like that? wouldnt it make more sense to say something like…. i dunno “chibiusa? dont take him from me!” instead?

once again, everything she goes through in arc 1 is a big contributor in this, however recall arc 2 begins with the senshi being picked off one-by-one (all except minako), and usagi can do nothing but watch and it eats her up inside. she quite literally begins to lose everyone dear to her all over again even while the last time is still so fresh in her mind.

and during most of this what does chibiusa do? she stays secretive, doesnt give usagi any information even when usagi tells her she cant trust her if she doesnt. (again i wanna reiterate that this is no fault of chibiusas however its not usagis fault either) so of course usagi begins to register chibiusa as a threat, and again with the information she has + her inarguable connection to the black moon clan this isnt a logical leap in the slightest.

thus when mamoru begins to spend more time with chibiusa instead of her it causes two things to happen. a) usagi is left without the emotional support she desperately needs in all of this (through no fault of mamoru, he completely misreads what usagi needs in this particular situation, he thinks that by helping with chibiusa it’ll ease her stress to have one less thing off her plate, however of course we know this does the opposite) and b) she begins to register chibiusa as a genuine threat to mamorus safety. usagis terrified of losing him all over again when she just got him back. look at this scene, i mean really truly look at it. look at what usagis saying, this doesnt sound like the ramblings of a jealous girlfriend it sounds like someone who’s terrified of losing their most important person all over again. “stay here with me. never go away. ill do everything i can to protect you…” (or “…i wanna be with you. dont go away. ill protect you with everything i have” in crystal, here i prefer the eternal edition again bc i think it more explicitly defines usagis problem) these lines just don’t make sense under the simple jealousy interpretation, what does protecting him have anything to do with envy at the time hes spending with chibiusa and not with her? nothing. shes not upset at that, she puts emphasis on protecting him because thats the true root of the problem, shes afraid of losing him again to yet another supernatural threat after the crystal.

and to close out id like to show everyone the viz dub version of this scene because i think it sums up my points incredibly well, as well as making it abundantly clear what the root of usagis problems Really are, specifically through the inclusion of the line “i wont lose you again”

[tokyogruel]

For the milgram ask game, Kotoko for 6, 8, 12, and 19!!! :3

6. favorite relationships with another character in the prison?

its so cliche to say mahiru i think but truly- mahiru. theyve got such a playful relationship and the way mahiru talks so sweetly to/about kotoko makes my heart melt.

and ive been thinking a lot more about her with shidou... they dont directly interact, but theyre fun to think about... shidou "im left to clean up the aftermath of your actions" vs kotoko "i dont care if youve been overly-forgiven by the warden, i will not let you get in the way of justice" also... 5 + 10? YELLS

what is your theory for their crime? if there is general consensus on it in the fandom, do you have any other, not-so-widely-accepted thoughts on it?

i feel like kotokos crime is pretty straight forward: vigilante justice carried out as vigilante justice usually is; poorly and with grave consequence

and hm... my thoughts on it.. well, i definitely dont think vigilante justice is good, ever. one person should never be judge, jury, and executioner. but with kotoko... i want to know more about WHY she is driven towards vigilante justice.. what has driven her so far to the point where she is willing to burn all her bridges, distance herself from others, spend her hard-earned money and drop out of school for the chance to kill someone she deems to be a bad person- even though she risks going to prison after the first time she ever draws blood? why is she risking so much, for so little?

12. what do you wish would be discussed more often about them in the fandom?

god. anything and everything. kotoko is very widely ignored by fans unless they are interested in her, specifically. and it sucks! she is such a weird character, but such a good character. you say you dont care about others, yet you claim you want to protect the weak, but if they get in your way regardless you will crush them. what drives you? what happened to you to make you think like this? why are you so back-and-forth?? i also want to see more people talk about how she potentially has DID, its one of my favorite theories. i want to see more discussion on the wolf-theming, and why her headspace seems to be a barren desert. i want people to talk about how, even if she does terrible things- she is not beyond saving, there is a kind and gentle heart hidden away under her layers of fear and trauma.

but i do wanna ask a few questions to the audience, and let you all take a moment to stew on her character before deep cover...

what do you think happened in her past to push her to believe vigilante justice should be her path?

what do you think drives her to focus on the specific targets she has in harrow?

why do you think kotokos victim looks so much like fuuta?

who do you think the 3 different girls are in harrow? do you believe one of them may be kotoko herself?

what could she possibly gain from draining her life savings on a false sense of justice?

why do you think she actively pushes away any sense of connection in her life?

in regards to her family members, why do you think she mentions these specific people, in this specific order? (for your reference, her family interrogation answer is thus: (taken from the milgram wiki)

19. what do you think their childhood/teenage years were like?

bad. LMAO. i think she went through a majorly traumatic event as a child, and she's largely blocked it out of her memory, but it still drives her actions today. i wont go into detail on it now, because i fear it would be very very triggering for others (and deserves its own, carefully-written post), but i believe her past may consist of the following: child abuse, sexual assault, and trafficking

edit: as for her teenage years, i think this is when she really started to self-isolate. she probably didnt have many friends to begin with, and pushed the remaining ones away at this point. she probably dove head-first into her vigilante research first, and her studies second, and everything else beyond that was just noise to her

[below-average-fangirl]

I just watched the Reacher movies and man I dont care what ppl say, Tom is awesome in them and does quiet brooding so well. I totally get the ppl who read the books and had someone else in mind, but I really have no idea why the second movie gets so much shit as a movie, I kinda preferred it. I especially love the scene on the plane when the girl is talking about her father and his face when he's listening to it.

Hey anon,

Glad to hear you enjoyed them. I do think both films are underrated, and if Tom Cruise had been playing a similar character with any other name, Reacher (2012) would get a lot more props for being a solid grown-up film of the thriller/action genre. It’s quietly stylish and beautiful, with a focus on making the action clear to the audience, which means no shaky cam to hide poorly laid-out action sequences or excessive editing to add tension where none exists or to get your main character over a fence. From the opening sequence, through music and action, it lays out the tone and style of the film so succinctly while immediately immersing you in the story.

I understand why fans of the books were unhappy with Tom Cruise being cast, despite the blessing of the author, Lee Child. Every reader will have an image of a character in their heads, and it can be hard to see certain actors in certain roles. Unsurprisingly, the biggest complaint against Tom Cruise being cast was to do with his height, as he very much does not fit the description of "extremely tall, extremely broad, long-armed, and long-legged" with "hands the size of dinner plates." Now I've never read the books, and while I understand why fans were unhappy, I think Christopher McQuarrie utilizes Tom really well in the first movie and uses his physique as an advantage.

For the type of thriller that the first film is, it leans more toward noir than straight up crime action; a character over 6' would have storytelling pitfalls. What works in a book can translate to the screen very differently. That doesn’t mean that a Reacher who is more faithful to the books in terms of height and build couldn’t work. The new Amazon Prime series has been very popular, but any man who is as big and as imposing as Reacher is described is going to stand out, and you would have to actively address the fact that he would be someone who is hard to take down in a fight. Instead, with the casting of Tom Cruise, the film shows how people underestimate him, such as the guys in the bar who think they can take him out with little hassle. 

Then there’s the fact that the character of Reacher is a drifter, someone who slips in and out of town, leaving no trace. Well, if a guy is 6 feet whatever and built, people are going to remember him, and it will make it a little harder for him to slip away unnoticed. But not a Reacher who is built like Tom, and Christopher McQuarrie shows this brilliantly with the escape on the bus at the end of the car chase. It actively plays into the character being a drifter; he just disappears into a crowd.

The second film, Never Go Back, is a more typical thriller/action film with a family road trip added in that I like because Reacher is being forced into a situation he usually avoids, having to work with others. Never Go Back is well balanced, with Turner and Reacher both being highly capable and highly motivated individuals. When Turner expresses to Reacher that she wants to get these guys more than him, we see that he took this on board during the interrogation scene because he leaves it to Turner. I wish his falling into an assistive role had continued with Turner fully solving the mystery that they're smuggling drugs, I feel she deserved to solve it. But at the end of the day it is a Jack Reacher movie.

I also like how both films handle the potential romantic dynamic. With Helen there is a hint that if he were to stay, he could very much have a life with her, but the film knows not to force it, and I like that there’s no kiss. Despite the chemistry between them, it really hasn’t been earned, and any kiss would have felt forced and more like the film doing it because of the type of movie it is rather than it coming from the characters. With Turner, we see how similar they are. Yes, at the start there was some mild flirting and intrigue about each other over the phone, but their connection is one where they’re better as friends, and that's okay. In the end, it's the potential of the father-daughter relationship with Sam that leaves a bigger impact on Reacher than the romantic one, which we also saw a little of in the first film with Sandy. His interactions with her, especially in the office scene, were more paternal, and he never really tried romantic charm to get information out of her.

Ultimately, I think both films have more merit than people give them credit for. Neither is perfect, and I don’t know if either one would be in my top ten Tom Cruise movies, but if you can look past the casting issue of Tom as Reacher because of the height thing, each of them is a rewarding watch.

[littlx-songbxrd]

I think I might be scared of the world and the way it makes you feel afraid

*Jumps in at the last possible second of alestember to post the most horrid fan fiction I've ever written* Missed me?

Anyways this is day 3 angst for @alastair-appreciation-month I wrote today out of spite and bad ideas. I just finished this, its not edited, might be the worse writting I've ever done but its cool. This fict is dedicated to @cant-think-of-anything who is partly to blame for the ending and my friend who liked my private story when i posted hot girls spend their fridays writting patricide ily

Timeline? We dont know her. Sense? Also no. Just sit back and enjoy and maaaaayyybe dont look too much into it :)

TW. Patricide. Blood. Murder. Alcohol. Drinking (if you find any other let me know)

There was a dead body at his feet, the truth ran like a rampant beast through Alastair's every thought. His torn clothes left him kneeling against the bricks of the floor, rough surface burying itself into his bare skin. He tried to move his arm to get them away from the dripping water running through his hair and half-blinded sight, but they stubbornly remained raised where they were. 

It ought to hurt,  but his body didn't register it. Alastair could barely feel anything other than the crushing weight of his reality. False strength shattered as he refused to look away from his immediate view, where the body lay further into the dead-end street it had taken its last breath in.

Rain met blood on the side of the road, on the edges of his clothes, and at the tip of the stained glass, he held close. The blood it had initially been painted with wasn't his own, but he had held on to it so tight by now both mingled into the same scarlet. He attempted to stop himself from squeezing the edges so tightly, but every time the truth fell on him again he only hardened his grasp. Every reminder threatened to leave him unable to tether himself to this earth by anything except his own pain. It felt like he was watching the scene from afar rather than living it. Or perhaps it was all a dream, a vile twisted representation of his anger tormenting Alastair into insanity. The alternative seemed soothing as opposed to the truth of the evening, there wasn't anything taking him away from the situation. Miracles were low and scarce and nightmares could only last so long.  

He knew today would go wrong. It was always how things ended when his father was involved.  Elias's letter arrived a few weeks prior, announcing he, and he alone would be coming to Paris in a few weeks and hoped for an opportunity to see him. It all sounded harmless, most of his acquaintances rejoiced on the news he´d get to see his father upon asking who´s correspondence had come in. Alastair put all his efforts into seeming at the very least content. Pretending happiness proved quite the effort compared to the familiarity of anger, but he´d have to make do. He always did. That didn't mean in the privacy of his own room he didn't stare at the letter and ponder if burning it could make his father desist of the idea of ever coming at all. Maybe he could claim it got lost and ignore any summons until his father left France.The idea proved Alastair was slowly losing it, Elias knew exactly where he was staying. If he wanted an audience he could find him. Itd be foolish to think he could avoid him and Alastair liked to consider he wasn't as idiotic to feed into the idealism of his half-arsed plan. 

By the time the days to his arrival dropped into the single digit, he began to truly feel dread. The kind he was slowly losing the ability to hide. Having Charles confront him on why he seemed so jumpy all the sudden was enough to decide he needed to get control of himself. Fear was for the weak, and he´d trained his backbone to be made of steel. Elias' letter had only requested one meeting and that's all he'd give, but he wouldn't let his father cost him the life he was finally beginning to make for himself. Alastair never replied, confirming his agreement to seeing Elias, one last desperate attempt to hold some of the control he was losing, but there was no use. On the third day of his father's visit he woke to find him waiting on the institute's door. 

Part of him was glad to see he managed to make it without causing any issues Alastair needed to later fix, not enough to drown out the exhaustion brought just by the thought of spending an entire day with him, but he tried to hold on to the relief as he made his way towards him.  They both greeted each other with similar weariness, nothing too obvious as to raise suspicions, but enough to remind Alastair where exactly he sat in his father's eyes. There was some attempt at an awkward embrace, he swore his limbs felt like they´d be set on fire afterward, and left without much of a word. No attempts of conversation stuck during their time together. Pleasantries out of the way, there was nothing Elias appeared to want to say to his son, which suited Alastair just fine, there was nothing he wanted to say to him either. However, it did raise the question of why he´d been so insistent to seek him out at all. To walk in silence? He kept feeling Elias stare at him from the corner of his eyes as if studying him under the Parisian sunlight. Eyes narrowed, brows pushed together, it made Alastair wonder if it been so long that Elias forgot what he looked like. Or if maybe all the alcohol he must have consumed in his absence had helped in the process. 

He wasn't stupid enough to believe his mother's claims. Whenever she wrote, she tried her best to make it seem Elias had tamed the intensity of his drinking while he was away. Sona never outright wrote about the issue, that would involve acknowledging there was an issue to begin with, but he knew how to read her hidden messages. Assurances she might as well have made to the wind. Alastair assumed she felt sorry for him. Wanted to at least afford him a few more months without the burdens of his father's sickness. The gesture was appreciated, to an extent he felt touched by what his mother was trying to do. It didn't erase the fact it was too late. He already knew enough to never believe her. Yet, he wasn't sure Elias's drinking was the root of the strange way he acted today. There was something far more aware going on behind his light eyes. But Alastair was tired and wanted to get this visit over with, He kept his thoughts to himself until his father finally tired of his company. 

They parted ways upon reaching the institute and Elias refused to tell Alastair where exactly he was staying. So close to finally being done with this day Alastair didn't consider asking for more details, fearing trying to coerce any information Elias didn't want to give would only cause him to invade into his life longer. He watched him leave and almost felt guilt from the relief that fell through his bones. There would be a time he needed to return into his father's hold, but today was not that day. It would be long until he worried about Elias again. 

That night Alastair slept well for the first time in weeks. The last time he would in years. There was indescribable happiness flowing through him the next, a phenomenon purely driven by the absence of worry. He should have known it wouldn't last. That night as he began to finish his work and retire for what was left of the evening, someone called his name. One of the other residents of the institute stared at him through a wide grin, telling Alastair how hilarious his father's jokes were. The first thing he noticed was that his acquaintance was without a shadow of a doubt, drunk. Giggling at the sound of his own voice and a certain stumble to the steady rhythm of his feet. Alastair knew he needn't ask where he'd seen his father, but he still did. So much talk of being smarter than his desire yet he still hoped the man wouldn't reply to what he knew he would. 

The bar was only a ten-minute walk. From the information he got, Elias had just recently gotten there. Still tame enough to make jokes, present himself as charming. Make people pass off his drinking as nothing outside the ordinary. Alastair refused to acknowledge the loud thump his heart gave with every step he took. He rejected thinking about this entire ordeal in its entirety. He'd just do what he always did and then forget. Pretend it never happened. Let it fade into the other thousand memories just like tonight. 

The situation was worse than he expected, the effort it took to finally drag him away from the bar wasn't the one Alastair thought it'd be. Had it been the break? Did just a few months of freedom break his ability to do this? By the time he finally managed to get Elias outside he was left thinking in his sixteen years of life he hadn't suffered a night as difficult as today since he first began at ten years old. Elias was never glad to see him in this state, his image only represented one thing, leaving the bottle. But his hatred always stemmed from his separation with alcohol, not Alastair himself. Yeah, he'd scream some insults and do some damage, but Alastair knew it was never about him. For it to be he'd have to care for him more than the bottle. However, today he looked at his son with hatred indifference couldn't bring. Insults were sharper, harsher, looking for a way to tear through him. 

Elias kept on shouting, and Alastair could feel his patience slowly fading. He didn't know where Elias was staying, and any attempt to get him to inform would only end in disaster. He was alone, in the middle of a foreign country, and the only person he could perhaps ask for help was the last one he'd want seeing him like this. In the middle of his spiraling thoughts, he walked them into an abandoned corridor, hoping this would give him more time to think. Come up with anything resembling a plan. 

Upon moving them Elias got angrier, his struggle to free himself from Alastair's grasp stronger. He barely managed to remain tied to Elias's free wrist, a now empty bottle he refused to let go off occupying the other. When he managed to get them into the dead-end street he could no longer handle Elias, his anger took over him and began to fall into the carefully laid traps he now realized his father was setting. 

Alastair couldn't have guessed how long they both stayed arguing against each other. Alastair could barely recall when he stopped insulting him and began insulting his mother. His memories were scarce and rare but he could still recall Elias saying he wasn't his son. He would never be. The shock of it all made Alastair drop his firm hold, and the next thing he knew he was pinned against a wall, Elias whispering over and over again about how much he wanted to stop it. Stop seeing his face. Coherence to his words faded the closer he got with a knife he took off his shirt pocket. 

He didn't know what happened first, the knife digging into his cheek or the bottle smashing into his father's head. Suddenly his father fell to the floor, the bottle smashed into a thousand little pieces scouring around the street and the knife dropped at his feet. There were a few stains of blood. Not as big as the one pulling around his father. He bent down to pick a piece of glass, his body moving like a puppet on strings, and stared at his reflection. Who stared back at him was a killer of his own making. 

It was pathetic really, all this time attempting to convince himself there were scraps of goodness within him only for this to show his true nature. Time passed and there he remained, questioning if it'd just be easier to take the glass and finish his father's job. Once the thrill expired and the full weight of his actions set in he began to bring it forward, and forward. He thinks the only thing that managed to stop him was thinking death would be too kind of a fate for him. 

An invisibility rune allowed him to escape before mundanes found what he'd done. He ran through the streets of Paris to the only place he actually knew how to get to. Everyone was asleep by now, the only sounds from the city life outside of the church's walls. He swallowed in before stepping, his legs unable to stop shaking. The only reason he was here was to find a way to escape the city before his father's body was found. With his death all the debts Elias gained along his illness would be left with his family. He needed to set those right. Life do whatever it wanted with him afterward once he knew his family was taken care of. 

He tried to be as careful as possible when entering, making no noise as he managed to reach his room. What he hadn't counted on was his lover awaiting on the other side. 

¨Alastair where have you been? I´ve been looking-¨

Charles's entire face fell when he finally caught sight of him. Alastair probably looked like he'd been through hell. The cut on his face still burned while his hand was ruined from squeezing the glass. He could also guess there was blood all over his clothing. Alastair reached for the door and closed it shut. 

¨What is going on¨ Charles demanded. When he faced him he realized for once in his life he couldn't pretend. Hide how much his life was screwed. 

¨I need your help¨ he settled on replying ¨I need to get out of the city¨

¨Not until you tell me what's going on¨ the other man's voice grew impatient, weary ¨Alastair what did you do¨

At his silence he asked again, this time more demanding ¨What did you do¨ 

¨Something I can never come back from¨ he moved past Charles and began to clear his desk ¨I cannot, I will not speak about it. You best believe I am doing you a favor by doing so. I just need to leave. Tonight. When the truth comes out you can make some lie of why I am no longer here. Claim I escaped, claim I had decided to leave previous to the event already, you are the smartest man I know I´m sure you can come up with something¨

At that moment he felt Charles's hands turn him, forcing him to meet his eyes. With the memory of arms to his shoulders still fresh he couldn't help but flinch ¨Have you gone mad?¨

Yes, he wanted to shout. Yes, I  have ¨Charles I have never asked anything of you. I am asking now. Please. Just let me do this¨

For the first time in his life, he couldn't read his lover's face. Maybe it was his panicked state, but the silence threatened to kill him as Charles pondered his options. 

¨You do not have to leave tonight, I´ll help you in the morning¨ he finally said, his words low and defeated ¨But if this is truly the last night I will ever see you. Then we must not let it go to waste¨

When Charles kissed him there was nothing Alastair could do but return his advance. There was no denying his only salvation

—--

When he awoke the first thing he registered was darkness, and his inability to raise his hand. He struggled against whatever kept them held beneath him, the low light now helping to out in context his surroundings. It was the institute's sanctuary, or so he assumed based on the style of the floor the moonlight illuminated. There were also voices, they were far enough to sound disoriented but still there. He recognized one in an instant. 

¨I have no idea what he´s done¨ Charles's voice said ¨ but as head of the institute, I thought it best to contact you before anything escalated¨

¨You made the right call, now do we interrogate him by the mortal sword when he awakes¨

¨No no,¨ Alastair couldn't help but notice how his voice raised its pitch ¨ the truth of his deeds will come out eventually¨

¨What do you suggest we do in the meantime ¨

¨Perhaps he could remain in the silent city, alone until we figure out how to proceed. There he can await proper punishment without causing disturbances. I think itd be best for morale to keep this issue between us. I  can handle his family if it comes to it¨

¨Do you think they'd come looking?¨

¨No, that's why I am most confident in my ability to properly handle the situation¨

There was something both of them werent saying, but all three understood. They could make Alastair disappear if so they desired.

And so they did. For almost two years. Then he began hearing voices in his head, only to realize they weren't in his head at all 

What a ride huh? Also theres a lot thats not explained in page because Alastair doesnt know but I want to showcase in case its confusing. So this fict is going off the Alastair Verlac theory where Alastair isnt Elias son and the reason Elias was in Paris was because he found out Alastair may not be his son. He wasnt actually gonna kill Alastair but kept seeing Sonas ex face in him so in his drunken state he wanted to stop seeing it so yeah you get the rest. Would have Elias killed him? Thats up for interpratation. Also the reason Charles didnt want Alastair going under mortal sword was because he didnt want him potentially saying anything about their relationship. This was part one to an entire alastair villain au i will never write but hey i left the window open. If you guess who the voice is you get head pat

[rottonbear]

*****personal comment, NOT accept any different opinion, u are welcome to share yours, but pointing mine is wrong*****

finished my first watch, and will have my second watch later today.

5/10 or 6/10 movie to me (without orm 5, with orm 7)

wonderful screen, ridiculous ending, normal music (the 1st movie was super fanatic to me), i think some trailer dialogues didnt in the movie, little disappointed.

if u care, that female appears a lot, but you can feel there was tons and tons of edit, and that make almost all of her scenes super weird

arthur and orm scene doesnt enough.

i am a cp fan girl indeed, yet james said this is a brotherhood movie, so i think it is ok for me to expect more brother interactive. i enjoy the brother part, but the two boys scene just cant support the ending. everyone knows arthur and orm grew up separately, they knew each other little, their relationship is complex. how could these 3 or 4 scenes convince orm willing to let go his hate. after those adventures, he may be loves his brother more in some point, but he must loves his country much more, and he dont think arthur can be a good king. he is a pride prince who refuse giving up or begging for mercy even hitted by those guards in the desert while he is in a low body condition. how could a noble like this will change his mind totally cause some adventures that didnt hv any heart to heart commutation?

cause of mommy's order? i think patrick did a really good job of showing the complex relationship between orm and atlanne. orm may be a mommy's boy, but not that mommy.

mention again, dont get me wrong, i love their chemistry, i just think those scenes cant convince me the ending is reasonable.

personally, i dont want to see that female at all, even change the actress. rationally, this movie lenght is too short, and cant tell audience a whole story about arthur's family, and their brotherhood. i think a story base on orm more, for example his past, or increase the length will be much better

beside these, the final fight is just a piece of you know what i want to say, just too ridiculous, make me "huh? are u kidding me?" at that moment.

took in the same cinema few days ago （that day watched wonka）

[patchesjam]

Do people actually think genloss is going to be A Big Thing? Bc last time I checked Ranboo does not have the big audience or the big streamer network they'd need to pull that off. Also, coming from a writer, I have A Lot Of Doubt in his ability to tell a cohesive story. Like I know the DSMP isn't a great example (since it was written on the fly and all) but like... Tommy and Dream figured it out - so did Bad and Hannah and the other Eggpire peeps. Phil gave us some closure, too. But nooooo Ranboo got bored of the server so he had to jump the shark and kill off his character out of nowhere even though Wilbur still needed him for lore. So like. What happens when he inevitably gets bored of genloss? What then? Will it remain unfinished, or will he just start throwing random angst at it in an attempt to get attention? If he behaves how I think he will, then he's worse than 13 year old me writing RotBTD fanfiction. Because at least I gave them endings and stuff, even though they were written 100% without any foresight whatsoever. Basically I have no faith in them whatsoever to tell compelling stories, I hate their fanbase and their fan's extreme radical ideology and excessive bulling behavior, and I mostly hate their 'I'm morally superior to everyone else' attitude. Also I still don't know what went on between them and Tubbo - because I kind of get Mean Girls vibes from the whole situation and it makes me deeply uncomfortable. Unrelated to the rest of the ask: Thoughts on Dream copying other YouTubers and hiring a bunch of actors to localize his vids into Spanish?

oooo a long one :)

i saw a lot of boobers say that sorta thing when the dsmp was in big talks again, like 'ranboo has moved on to Bigger and Better things' and them bragging about how it will leave the fandom and that he doesnt need dream + dsmp for relevancy. i see less of it now because i block anyone who mildly pisses me off on twitter - so basically every boober.

and yeah the streamer network thing is interesting because i was thinking this the other day, all of dtkq, tubbo, foolish etc have quite a lot of good relationships and connections to actual streamer streamers (hasan, rae, sykkuno, ludwig) and ranboo + co seem to very much stick in that group, ranboo and whoever he decides are his friends for that month. i never see them in anything more widely twitch related which is interesting and imo a sign of short longevity

as for the writing.... yeah. i think he will go the way of angst. i personally think that he seems to have very little overall idea for the actual concept and storyline a year into planning so i have little faith in that. its like when authors go 'oooo i want to write a teen fantasy novel' and then try to make a random plot to fit the genre. i could be wrong though shrug.

its been said a thousand times before but one little minor slip up from ranboo will lead to a massacre. i used to feel sorry for him about this but he truly did it to himself being a spineless bastard and never calling people out on their shit. it was easy enough to say 'pwease stop being racist' and he fucked that up 3 times.

annnnd finally i dont know if he's done that already or just something your questioning but its interesting... I dont think he'd get as much out of it as other youtubers because, due to excellent concepts and editing esp for manhunts theyre completely watchable without knowing english. obviously you miss a bit but cool plays are universal. i still think it would be interesting to see though, and it wouldnt hurt at all so i could see him doing that at some point. i think he might not though because he is so protective of his work and still edits everything himself, might not want that, so not sure!

[pearlaqua-eevee]

ok and the rest of ep 22 liveblog

Urahara always showing up like that. Shady neutral until the end I see

AAAA RUKIA FELT URYU THERE. FUCK. MY RAREPAIR FRIENDSHIP CRUMBSAAAAAAA

Renji too obviously lol

"You guys are pissed at Uryu Ishida too?" lmfao Bazz-B

"I can give you a hand to go a kill him!" honey thats their FRIEND lmao sit down

hi protective-over-Uryu Rukia and Renji yeesss

ok but I do like that everyone actually gets a reaction to Uryu's betrayal, kinda shuts up the "he wasnt significant" naysayers in the fandom--BITCH HES SIGNIFICANT TO HIS FRIENDS AND EXTENDED FAMILY

"What dont you like chickens" LMFAO Renji woke up ready to sass because between this and the fight against Mask....

"Good for you" RUKIA AND RENJI PLS NEVER CHANGE I LOVE YOU BOTH

AAAND ZOMBIE BAMBI. FML

YORUICHI IS BAAAAAACK

aaa they did such a good job with the nostalgic parallels on this, ugh it makes me wanna go watch SS arc again back when the stakes were technically way lower but just because the core cast was ignorant lol

lol the dual Ichigo Orihime head tilt was cute

loved that shot of Ichigo, Orihime and Chad lookin badass and ready. Protect them!!!

"whats with that brat" people dont like to be misgendered, is whats up (no seriously they couldnt fine a single extra alt line for the reason that Gigi got pissed? We had to keep the phobia in? ok -_- )

sorry but as a writer, Yumichika suddenly being this observant and picking up on what the audience already knows just on observation, without any indication of how or why he's make the leap from "theyre bombs" to "they make whatever they touch explode"....its such a ooc-for-ic-knowledge moment to be able to have these two have a prayer of fighting back. So while the rest of the fandom is made about like 1 frame or not getting Bambi with her top unzipped, I'll be over here rolling my eyes at how this wasnt changed

I know people are probably mad about the pervert line too but because they actually did edit that line, it becomes directly about what Gigi said about being "excited" and yeah thats sick and twisted, hi, psychopath serial killer energy

"Um I wasnt asking why youre shining" LMFAO ROAST HIM GIGI

the fact that I know the fandoms been saying that scene was "hot"....and it actually is so much worse in the anime because of the voice acting....theres a reason that dialogue reads R rated, its meant to, and its meant to disgust you and theres a reason I stay away from like 95% of the fandom thats all im gonna fucking say on that

"you think im ordinary when you just said I was outstanding?" "dont take it personally, compared to me everyone is ordinary"

not me thinking about how Uryu might outwit the use of those reishi locking things

yeaaah like I know Gigi's powers are fucked up but really imagine fighting these people and realizing that not only can one of them create zombies they can control, but theyve done it to people you know and recognize. Again, no wonder the Quincy are viewed as abominations?!

Arrancars!?

DID THEY JUST USE THE WORD FUGLY OMFG!?

"I came to see that four-eyed Quincy to make him pay for what he did to me" what, so he can absolutely destroy you again? (lol sorry, I LOVE Cirucci, shes one of my fav Arrancar but GIRL. He's gotten stronger since then, I don't think you wanna actually go for him again. Love the shoutout to that tho!?)

characters being able to be revived like this really takes tension out tho lol

so like....we're all in agreement that Mayuri is a "just like what you're fighting" type character, right? Like I get loving him for being twisted and honestly open and obvious about it (unlike other villain characters and in particular some of the Quincy)... like on the one hand as a PERSON, I'm like "love to hate this character, kinda badass in a sick way". but yeah like. He's just as bad as the Quincy and I think it puts a lot of his actions in this arc into perspective in a really interesting way

Gigi singsonging while healing Bambi is really disturbing and I love this character archetype a lot so its nice to see it done well. Shes MEANT to disturb you

FUCK. AND THERES TOSHIRO. I ALMOST FORGOT

HYYYPPPPPEEEE

[peacefulworld2003feelthegroove]

deviantart culture used to be so fun, i dont know why it just went away

They grew up. All the best artists left to Twitter for a larger audience, all their younger and growing fans followed. Those who were left, lost interest after the UI change. Leaving only people who do half assed fetish edits, making the atmosphere uncomfortable and strange to newcomers.

Buzzly was promising but the mods were total dinks and it crashed and burned.

I miss it too. I really do. I've never had fun with my art like I did in those days, or the fleeting few days on buzzly. I won't lie. I really want it back. Going back isn't the same. It isn't home when everyone else is gone, it's just a box. Same with my attempt to return to scratch. I'm hoping for another sites golden age. I'm hoping I won't be wistful and mourning for tumblr anytime soon.

Its actually almost annoying. How much deviantart could bank off the nostalgia of others, and chooses not to. For just a newer sleeker design. Even back in the day, with core being at club penguin levels of pay to have fun, it was whatever.

Somehow there was so much peace in a world ruled by sad tweens and stressed collage students.

Sometimes I feel like if there's a heaven, its everywhere you're nostalgic for.

It does ease the pain though to do dives. I like collecting bases from like 2007-2012. I like to study the styles of the time and such. It's nice. But it is a type of therapy of lingering sadness. I imagine a lot of historians feel the same way.

Where are you now? Do you have kids? Do you still own any of these charicters? Did they get new homes? Did you forget about them? Do you still talk to these people? Are you still into these animes? Are you still a girl? Are you still drawing? Are you still alive?

I don't know what stranger. Watching someone walk out the door and getting total silence, or a message from a family member that they've died. There's something morbid about that closure, someone who never knew me but usually influenced me. It's happened such a number of times that I feel like it's vital to this discussion.

They grew up. By God. I hope they grew up.

[pieartsystuff]

Hey! my friend Zen told me you where an usher for Aladdin and i wanted to ask, since im doing research for a dnd murder mystery game taking place in a theater, if there's anything i should know about big fancy theaters? rooms peeps dont think about, so on and so forth.

I don't recall who zen is or how they knew that (edit: I see a mutual of mine has changed his name to zen, cool) but as an usher I generally wasn't allowed anywhere near the places that audience members wouldn't see (ie anywhere but the lobby and seating areas) since I was was an usher, not an actor or anyone backstage like the tech crew. so I'm not sure what I'd say about the new amsterdam theater that you wouldn't already know about if you visited it (or any fancy theatre) as a guest (or simply skimmed pictures from google maps reviews)

I suppose...there was a little eating area/break room for ushers behind some hidden door in the lobby, don't remember exactly since it's been a hot min since I worked there. sometimes a few of the actors would visit us but they had their own green rooms and shit in the actual backstage. generally actual group gathering would simply happen in the guest lobby/waiting areas or orchestra seating in the theatre when no audience members were about (ie not around showtime).

The only other thing I can add about that experience was being told there was "well documented" and "verifiable proof" of the new amsterdam theatre ghost, allegedly a ziegfield follies girl.

As a theatre and dance person *outside* of ushering Aladdin, I will suggest a few other things to look into from actual backstages. Apologies for some of these sounding really basic perhaps:

ghostlights

ballasts

catwalks

wings

scrims

rehearsal rooms

Green rooms

makeup rooms

Costume storage

Costume fitting areas

orchestra pit

Lunchrooms

[ankhisms]

oh actually now that ive posted the edit of those scenes heres my final thoughts on that drama in general

my general distaste with the shows plot and its mindset still remains the same, halfway through editing the scenes together i started to go "well maybe im being a little too harsh, the protagonist is a sweet character who i like and im rooting for, maybe the show is going to address the issues i have" but nope! almost immediately after thinking that the show was like dont forget if you dont wear makeup and dont try to be conventionally attractive you will be ALONE FOREVER and there was a scene at the ending where its a year later and the main character encounters a girl whos wearing the same kind of outfit she was wearing in the beginning of the show with the same haircut and she goes "you can change if you want to (:" and im gonna be honest with you if i bumped into someone in an airport or a subway station and they looked at me and went "oh you poor thing :( dont worry if you want to try and be less ugly you can! you can change and be pretty" i would rip their face off. in fact i have had similar things happen to me but thats besides the point anyway thats just an example of my biggest issue with the show and its plot/mindset, aside from the obvious obnoxious heterosexual drama weirdness

but anyway onto what we all really care about. i said this before when i first tried to actually watch this show (for the record i basically spedran watching the episodes for my edit i had it on fast speed to get to where fuwaris scenes where and then clipped them so i did see all of it but really fast) it would have been a MUCH better much more actually interesting show if fuwari was the main character. even just as a side character shes far more of an interesting character than the rest of the main characters its like yeah yeah whatever love triangle can you guys move over i want to see what fuwari is up to. it couldve been a much better show if it was centered around her and about her encouraging her niece to come out of her shell and enjoy her life. also i do not want to be mean when i say this because you all know im an actor i try to not be too harsh when it comes to younger or less experienced actors performances in things im watching, but well. i liked the protagonist and her performance she was fun. but really ryon is acting circles around everyone else in the cast which makes sense but everyone else is so stiff and not as convincing as he is which again. fuwari really is the best part of this show i can not emphasize that enough. thats why i made this edit. the show is not worth watching i promise you

also as a disclaimer i know im not the target audience of this show, its target audience is high school girls but i would have been its target audience in the past and honestly it makes me sad to think of a young girl who like myself in highschool would have been described as "an ugly poison mushroom" watching the show and thinking that she has to completely change everything about herself in order to be loved or liked in any way. it just breaks my heart yknow. like the protagonist is fine in the beginning!!! she looks perfectly fine!!! she does not have to change anything about herself she is already worthy of love! ok enough ranting

anyway tldr dont watch that show its not good. ryons performance was predictably very good because hes an excellent actor. hope you all appreciate all my fighting in the trenches to create this gift unto you all i am wildly bisexual

[sitpwgs]

totally yeah the expectation being set like that doesn't help and that's absolutely not the author's fault i dont hold that against her at all!! idk i wanted to read circe too and i've heard better things about that so maybe i'll jump course?? (the worst part about one hundred other girls for me was im Iranian and that's a similar career path that i want to follow so i wanted to like it so bad but the execution just was so poor and it made it sting that much worse for not liking it lol)

anyways sorry for the several mini rants in your ask box i hope you have a lovely day !! 😊

yes!! i really wish books would be marketed … more accurately? in a way it reminds me of how musical movies aren’t being advertised as musicals because musicals don’t do as well and then audiences are like … i don’t want to see a musical… like sure, you’re getting people to buy the book / see the movie but are they enjoying it? it’s like how portrait of a thief (beloved book to me!!!) was advertised as a heist book but it isn’t really about an art heist at all! i’ve heard really good things about circe, but haven’t read it. i do own it though — you’ll have to let me know what you think of it! and i’m so sorry about hundred other girls — that’s so disappointing — trying to rack my brain for something similar in premise, but am currently blanking on any and every book ever! if i think of anything that you might like, i’ll edit this ask later <3 and you are always welcome to come talk to me about books or anything! happy reading & hope you have a good day!!! xx

[clulessmess]

ohhhhhh my fucking god.

I need to get around to making that neocities.

EDIT: um. Ok. Accidentally Posted a vent mid typing

I dont feel like retyping any of that so ill just edit this in the morning since its getting late

So yeah here i go free write venting sawry <3

Just gettin them (unfinished) feelings out

fyi recently decided to check out what neocities is abt after hearing friends gushing abt it n after scrolling around sites I got hyped n decided to make my own neocities after I realized this could possibly solve all my problems sdhkhkfgd

first of all,

............. not to bring this up for the 7848234th time but. yeah Im still having spiraling thoughts abt my girl + the AU. Yes, as I said earlier the intensity of those spirals have died down significantly. but unfortunately its still there, at the back of my mind. and uh oh!!!!!!!!!! unfortunately theres days where it spikes!!!! and frankly brothers i cant take these thoughts anymore,, i need a place to get the fuck away from social media 

I honestly feel thats the reason why I have these thoughts. I haaaate having to fucking overthink posting anything that could be percieved as cringe on my own fucking accounts to prevent the possibility that it could be the post could have me marked as a sort of “lolcow” or laughing stalk known to the internet. I haaaaate that when I have to talk to ppl, fuck even my own online friends, i haveta be walking eggshells via the irony mask and hide shit bc if i feel if i do i have justify my stance to not be seen as cringe!!!!!! I haaaaaaaaaate this fucking terminally online paranoia!!!!!!!!

and I know me saying “I need to get away from social media, im growing paralyzingly sick from my chronically online brainrot” and proceeding to still do this in an another online public space instead of just simply just stop posting abt Her + the AU and maybe even mass delete anything abt them if theyre doing nothing but causing me stress is a weird decision.... but ok.. hear me out

as a creative, the alternative (just mass deleting + stop posting)  is just.....feels so alienating? Like we all crave..an audience??? idk how to fucking explain it but we all like the idea of at least a few ppl liking our stuff? And despite all this headache,,, i still care her 🥺

the thought that this thing I care abt, that I made with my own two hands, that I cannot ever show that to anyone.... thats devestating

I think the reason I keep spiraling is that I feel there is no safe space for me to post abt this. Perhaps specifically fear of the wrong type of ppl catching wind of it.

The current online landscape is fucking hell. Irony poisoned n the standards are so high, ppl will not put up with mediocrity or cringe and they will be LOUD and clear about that.

Not even tumblr is safe.

Neocities though, from what ive seen its the fucking safe haven for self indulgence. Its not uncommon for ppl to have these things called "shrines", a small subwebsite within a website commonly used to just like. Infodump abt whatever thing they like, often obscure and maybe a little "cringe" (i dont mean this to insult them but like. Yknow what i mean right)

Additionally, I wont have to worry about the Wrong People" finding out abt me and My Bullshit. Or most anyone discovering me and My Bullshit. Being into neocities is kinda a "niche", most ppl dont know anything abt neocities asides from programming nerds rlly nostalgic for the old days of the internet!

If anyone for whatever reads this made it this far... Yep. I finally actually went through with the decision of deleting any trace of her off both my tumblrs. I will no longer be talking about her on tumblr unless until this game releases.

Its the perfect place to hide her for now....

Besides, ive been let go of the only job my incompetent ass could ever do but probably still fucked up anyways.  Think I need a fucking hobby that could maybe double as a skill so. Why not dust off what little programming stuff I know and expand upon in it in case my moms right and I cant rlly get my art career to pop off

Though... I guess the one downside for this is that while I hopefully wont be able to directly recieve hate about the AU...I dont think I will be able to recieve any possible love for it either.

As much as i hate to sound like some attentionwhore, and as much as i had a crippling fear of being found out by the Wrong People... there is a small inkling hope and..curiosity for people that might like it

Again, neocities isnt well known. The one upside to me posting my GLITCHED shit on tumblr is that this is prrobably? The only place where GLITCHED has an actual fanbase on tumblr, so i could like get engagement (ugh.... Hate phrasing it like that. Like im sort of numbers obsessed influencer. But i cant think of what else to call it. The possibility of the fans + the rare outsider interacting n being able to read nice or funny little notes), so I highly doubt anyone is going to think to click on the link to my Gina shrine since GLITCHED isnt well known either once I finish my neocities. Even if someone was curious enough to find my website + the shrine n wanted to express that they liked it, Neocities doesnt have a built in system where people can send messages to the creator.

I am going to post the link to my neocities, since well. I know that there is a small few who did like her (or just appreciated the passion i had).

[mixelation]

One of the Fandom takes that make me genuinely angry is the Sakura is weak and useless take that's literally everywhere.

Hinata barely fights yet no one argues that she's weak becuase we all know she's strong. She's a capable ninja.

But Sakura? Break mountains and throw trees Sakura? Sakura who can heal even the most deadly of wounds and cure impossibly complex poisons Sakura? Sakura who has shown time and time again that she's strong and capable, that Sakura? No, she's weak. She's trash. She's worst girl 0/10.

It makes me so angry becuase she's genuinely a great character once you push kishimotos sexist bullshit out of the way. "Why didn't Sakura have any more good fights?" I don't know why don't you ask 'I dont know how to write women' Kishimoto over there. Ask him why Tenten or Hinata or Ino didn't get more fights either.

To me the take that Sakura is weak and the worst is a vile take and it will never not fill me with visceral rage.

God, YES, it's fine to not really like Sakura for whatever reason (including "well, the things that make me like characters usually involve cool fights"), but these arguments trying to PROVE why she's useless to the story are like 90% misogyny. 7/10 for rancid (EDIT: lowered this because some people do act like this to justify Sakura being sexually assaulted or murdered in fics which uhh 10/10 rancid, don't do that, but most people are just writing her as a screechy child who needs to be taught to not be so girly, which is gross but not AS gross).

First, I will admit that I think it's fine to hold Sakura to different standards than the other female characters, because she's the Main Girl. She should be getting cool fights while side characters don't really need them. She should have wider audience appeal (just from a writing perspective) than the other girls because we spend more time with her. These are fine things to point out when discussing Sakura's writing.

But some people genuinely spend time and energy writing up lists of reasons why Sakura is objectively not just a bad character, but a bad person who didn't deserve to be on Team 7. These usually either don't put things in context or make wild leaps of logic to justify why fic writers should abuse her, humiliate her, have horrible things happen to her, etc, because she "deserves" it. Even fans of Sakura will do this, writing her being shown how she's a stupid horrible person for being a normal young girl and having to learn to be better and become "BAMF."

Like, for example, people will come after her about that horrible line where she's like "Naruto misbehaves because he doesn't have parents" and argue she was consistently "awful to him." They do not mention Naruto trying to trick her into kissing him immediately before, or that we do see Naruto acting obnoxious to/around her, because no way could a TWLEVE YEAR OLD GIRL be justified in being annoyed by the class clown!! They also do not mention that after Sasuke tells her off, Sakura does treat Naruto much better, and most of the times she yells at him are when he is being genuinely obnoxious (and yes, she does hit him a few times, but those are all slapstick moments we're not suppose to take seriously, which is why Naruto is always 100% fine afterwards). No, instead they attack her for saying "Well, I'm on a diet anyway!" when she gives Naruto her food when he's hungry because "she's not a serious ninja is she's dieting." There is no way for Sakura to win, because anything she does is just proof she's horrible.

Not to mention the twisted sort of logic these fans go through to deny Sakura any of her on-screen accomplishments. Healing isn't a useful combat skill, duh. Her enhanced strength doesn't count because she's just a Tsunade knock off. She's stupid because she's not as smart as Shikamaru. What?? Like I said, it's fine to not like her, and it's fine to think her character went in a boring direction because you don't want her to just be a Tsunade #2. But the frequency with which people act like these things make her objectively a bad person is baffling. If you applied this logic to like 90% of the cast, you'd see people being like "well Hinata watched Naruto be lonely and never talked to him, so she obviously doesn't care about him and doesn't deserve his love" but you DON'T because Hinata has big tits because these arguments only make sense if you want to go out of your way to bash a character.

Just say you don't like her and move on. If you try to argue no one should like her, you just end up being like "Well, things girls do are STUPID AND BAD" and that's not a good look.