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alkhale · 4 years

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so... that new his dark materials on HBO got me feeling some things and thinking... Memos HDM AU?

Memos His Dark Materials AU Ko-Fi Request

(for context for the excerpt down below this, when someone’s daemon makes contact with another person’s daemon, it’s considered very personal and intimate. This is normal between family members and very close friends or loved ones, say, Luffy’s daemon would probably touch all his nakama’s left and right just fine, but for certain others, this may come as a bit of an alarming little sensation for them since people feel what their daemons feel and the same vice versa as extension of their souls)

- Hoku’s daemon is a white panther named Hau.

The two of them don’t get along very well and tend to get on each other’s nerves due to personal reasons. They’re capable of being a fairly good distance apart even though this isn’t normal and considered painful for most people. They sort of trained themselves to be able to be apart because they felt following their independent values was most important. It’s a bit of a messy situation but they’re the first ones either of them would turn to no matter what. He has the same marking she has painted around the curve of his left eye because it’s tradition for Pokians to paint it onto their daemons when they come of age. All daemons from Artopoki are also always colored white just like their hair.

His name means “happiness” in Hawaiian.

- Mahina’s daemon is a white horse while Manu’s is a small white wild cat. Mihawk’s is a massive, massive ink black raven named Sable. She and Mahina’s daemon got along really well.

- Shank’s daemon is a reddish tinted lionness who goes by Reina. Hoku and Hau are a bit smitten by her but Hau kind of hates Shanks, maybe not hate but he tends to be on the more skeptical end of him versus Hoku being a little doe-eyed for the man. Hau loved Mihawk though. Mihawk was the first person to ever touch him outside of Hoku’s parents (human to daemon contact is a super big deal when it’s not family or intimate loved ones, daemon to daemon is a little more tolerable but raises some brows)

- Luffy’s daemon settles as a springy lionness name Soleil who he calls Sol. She’s very energetic and can’t really read a room but she makes up for it with energy. She and Luffy are two peas in a pod.

- Nami’s daemon is an orange fox named Riki, the greatest thieving duo across the East Blue.

- Zoro’s is a massive bengal tiger named Masumi and she’s got a much more approachable personality than her counterpart but tends to be just as lazy and ferocious.

- Usopp’s is a chameleon by the name of Emmo. She’s a bit of a coward too but she’s funny.

- Sanji’s is a beautiful, rather stunning lady jackrabbit by the name of Celine who loves beautiful people and kicking. She seems a little wiser than Sanji.

- Brook’s is the skeleton of a songbird named Aretha. They’re the strangest case on the Grand Line because of his devil fruit. She sings beautifully for a pile of bones though.

- Franky’s is a female beaver named Aspen, they’re pretty much carbon copies of each other.

- Robin’s is a black owl named Yuval. He’s on the quieter side and tends to creep people out on first glance but he’s a very gentlemanly owl.

- Ace’s ends up settling as a red and black lynx by the name of Iskra. Sabo’s is a peregrine falcon named Brisa.

- Vivi’s is a fennec fox named Seti.

- I couldn’t decide of Kid’s should be one hell of a murderous honey badger with attitude named Naga or a crocodile or a bear. Any of those three felt pretty right but I lean more toward the honey badger HAHAHA.

- Law’s daemon is a snow leopard named Estrella. These two are an especially dangerous duo and Estrella tends to be a bit more on the mysterious side at first.

- - - - - - -

“Your blood,” Shank said, cupping her cheek. “Is worth treasures more than his.”

Hau bit at Shanks’ cloak, snarling as a white husky in protest, trying to pull him away. Reina watched him in utter amusement.

Steam exploded from Hoku’s ears, her entire face flushing red.

“Oops, hey, someone get Makino! I’m worried dove’s got a fever!”

- - - - - - -

“It’s nothing but a childish crush,” Hau said pointedly to her, perfectly aware of the fluttery, gross feelings inside Hoku spilling over to him. He walked after her, lashing his tail angrily while Hoku stared up at the sky in a daze. Shanks had just given them a living, ripe kiionohi tree. “He just thinks we’re cute kids. He likes teasing us. This is how he took Luffy!”

Hau worked over-time to remain as indifferent toward Shanks as Hoku originally wanted to be. Hoku had just given up and rolled over to the fact that Shanks was just… so hard to dislike. Was there even a reason to dislike him? Sure, she still got jealous that Luffy was so damn fond of him, but when Luffy was always pulling her around despite that, promising she was his first before anyone else—

“Are you listening to me?” Hau hissed at her, biting her ankle in protest. Hoku looked down at him. “I don’t like him! He’s just another schmuck! Nothing’s gonna happen anyway! Dream on! We’re just kids to him, got it?”

“I know that,” Hoku snapped, cheeks flushing. “I-It’s just adoration. Childish adoration. What do you think I’m gonna do, ask him to marry me?”

“No,” Hau muttered, “but don’t get any ideas.”

“I’m not,” Hoku snapped back at him, lightly nudging his paws. Hau swiped at her. “He’s just… he’s just charming, is all. And you’re one to talk, you know. You look at anyone that’s willing to scratch your ears like they’re god!”

“I don’t let people scratch me behind the ears!” Hau protested. “No one’s allowed to touch me!”

“Yeah,” Hoku snorted. “Except Luffy, right? I feel what you feel too, dumbass. Think about how it feels for me to get scratched behind the ears too, okay?”

Hau grumpily settled down onto his haunches, stubbornly looking over to the side, “But it’s Luffy.”

Hoku could understand that, but it didn’t make the sensation any more normal. Actually, I might be starting to get used to that. Luffy’s so damn touchy it’ll kill me. She didn’t even flinch anymore when Hau and Soleil were pressed tight together, rolling around or tumbling about each other or cuddled up in a pile. Luffy’s warm fingers patting Hau’s head, hefting him up into his arms—that was still something she was getting used to.

Or Hoku, cupping Soleil’s head in her hands, pressing a kiss to the top of the daemon’s head, committing utter taboo. Hoku, letting Soleil cozy up to the crook of her neck, shove her face into Hoku’s hand, weave between her fingers while Luffy laughed beside them—

The four of them, touching each other’s daemons, each other’s partners, each other’s souls—

But I am getting used to it. Hoku shivered. Never touching anyone’s daemon, huh?

Hau lashed his tail, “I won’t let Shanks touch me, you can count on that.”

“You’re just jealous,” Hoku said. “Luffy and Soleil already said we’re first. And it’s not like Shanks is going to be here forever, he’s a pirate, remember?”

Hoku rubbed the side of her arm, looking down at her shoes, “He’s just… he’s just become Luffy’s idol. You see how he looks at him—Luffy knows what he wants to do now ‘cause of him.”

Hau huffed, whiskers twitching. Hoku gave him a little shove and Hau shifted into a bull, ramming at the back of her knees as Hoku laughed, shoving back at him.

Shanks was just a bit of fun, that was it.

- - - - - - - -

But Reina didn’t play by the rules.

“You’re getting faster, little dove.”

Hoku almost screamed. Her heart lodged into her throat, forcing her to choke as Mau nearly clattered onto the dirt from her hands had she not hooked it last minute. She apologized to the amused blade, checking for scratches and trying to work out a game plan in her head.

Hau frowned. As deep of a frown as an unhappy skunk could make, sitting by a log and looking pointedly Reina’s way.

She didn’t know when Shanks’ daemon had made her way over to them or where Shanks was, probably with Luffy to be honest, but there Reina was, living up to her name.

The lioness daemon was stretched out onto a fat slab of rock jutting upwards from the ground. Luffy used it as a launching platform a lot when they were playing. Her red-gold body rippled, leisurely soaking up the sunlight.

Hoku’s fingers itched.

Reina watched them with golden irises.

“Thanks,” Hoku said, trying not to be awkward but feeling very much so. “I’m not there yet though.”

Reina’s chest rumbled, a deep sound that made Hau wrinkle his nose in protest. She laid her head down onto her paws, rolling over onto her side. Hoku noticed the scars lining her softer underbelly, the notch missing from a piece of her flicking tail.

“You’ll get there,” Reina said soothingly. “Why don’t you take a break?”

I feel like I’m talking to the devil. Hoku shivered. Temptation incarnate. “I haven’t hit my number of swings yet.”

“Shanks and Luffy are playing by the harbor,” Reina almost purred. “Don’t you want to join?”

Hoku frowned at her boots. Yes. “No. I’m glad Shanks is taking up all his time.”

Reina’s ear twitched. Her eyes glimmered playfully. Hoku felt as though if her feet weren’t planted firmly to begin with, she’d already be making her way over to the lioness for no reason other than the fact that Reina seemed to be beckoning her over.

“How come you two can be so far apart?” Hau blurted. Hoku shot him a look of disbelief.

Reina’s whiskers twitched in amusement.

Hau hunkered down, waving his big bushy tail. “I-Isn’t it painful? It’s weird, daemons aren’t supposed to be able to do that.”

“You two seem to be able to go fairly far,” Reina murmured. “Is that not strange?”

Hoku and Hau flinched.

Reina laid her head down onto the rock, letting the sun color her pelt. She looked crimson gold in the sunlight. “He and I simply found it in ourselves to promise to live our lives to the fullest and the freest.”

Reina seemed to smile, lips pulling back to show her fangs. “Besides, like this, I can be with Luffy and he can be with little dove at the same time, hmm?”

Hoku and Hau blinked in confusion. They looked at each other and back to Reina who’d rolled over to show them her back, settling down for a nice, long nap.

“Finish up those swings, dove,” Reina purred. “Then let’s play.”

I miss Luffy. Hoku miserably flattened herself down against the grass, Mau propped up onto a trunk beside her. Hau was chirping haughtily in the tree branch above her, flapping his white wings even though he was supposed to be a toucan. I always run off even when he’s playing with Shanks. Maybe I should just suck it up and have fun with them too. Or, not fun. Just… spend time. Yeah.

Hoku groaned, rubbing her sweaty face with her hands.

“About time,” Hau chirped at her. “Let’s go! I don’t care if Shanks and everyone else is there, I want to see Luffy and Sol.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hoku snapped. “I heard ya. You just want to get touched again.”

Hau flattened, ruffling his feathers, “That’s not true!”

It absolutely is. Hoku sighed, preparing her aching muscles to lift her sluggish body up. Hau was practically touched starved and Luffy’s generous pats were like a drug. He did a good job making sure Shanks never got near him though. Hoku didn’t even flinch. Touching other people’s daemons is still such a weird feeling though, I can’t get used to anyone else but them.

She’d only ever touched Sable twice. Ki and Kekoa didn’t count because they were family. Soleil was the only one she ever really touch-touched, and even then, it was still a sensation Hoku felt all the way to the tip of her toes and down to her bones. Intimate.

Bet no one else has a daemon willing to get himself pet. Hoku peeked through her fingers at Hau who jumped from the branch and shifted into a little white butterfly. He’d turn into a dog later because it was easier to play with Luffy like that. What daemon goes up to someone to get themselves touched?

Some taboos just weren’t meant to be crossed.

A shadow fell over Hoku’s face and she blinked, moving her hands away to look up.

Reina looked down at her.

Hoku froze, stiff against the ground like a corpse. Her heart hammered stupidly loud in her chest, loud enough to burst through her ears. From this spot, she could make out every fine, red-gold hair smoothed over Reina’s slender face. She could see the dark lines that traced her feline gold eyes, followed the slope of her muzzle, to the long, elegant whiskers—a few cut short, and the few scars that lined her soft nose.

This was the closest she had ever been to the daemon.

She could sense heat from the lioness, hulking power and muscle. Reina’s killing paws sat on either side of her head. She could crush Hoku’s skull without much effort. Rip her throat out. In another world, Hoku would be fearing for her life—even in this world, Hoku was still fearing for her life, but, but, maybe death at the hands of such a beautiful, powerful daemon couldn’t be that awful.

Hoku waited, staring at Reina with wide eyes.

Reina blinked once, slowly. Something like amusement seemed to shift over the fine hairs on her face and she lowered her head over Hoku’s. Her body seized up, unable to breathe.

And then languidly, a warm, wet and scratchy pink tongue rolled once across her face, down her forehead to her lips and over her chin. Reina pulled away, satisfied, looking down at Hoku’s disheveled, slightly wet face and bulging eyes before calmly sauntering off, hips swaying.

It took her a moment. A good, solid moment. Her heart did something funny, her body frozen stiff and ascended to some other plain of existence, her mind whirring and still buzzing from the electricity of the slightest contact with—

Someone else’s daemon—

Reina—

Shanks’ daemon—

Touched—

Hoku’s face blushed a bright, scarlet red. She grabbed her face with her hands and rolled around in the dirt like the little bug she was.

Hau jealously nudged her face with his little ferret nose, huffing and puffing in displeasure.

She’d never been touched by someone else’s daemon before.

- - - - - - - -

The final nail into her own coffin was done by Hoku’s own hands.

At the crack of dawn, when the light was just beginning to crawl its way out of the horizon to peek over into the sky. Just hours before, Hoku had finally shown Shanks the book, speaking with him in the low light of that bar and making a total fool of herself—enough for Hau to tease and taunt her about it for hours until they fell asleep.

She woke up earlier than Luffy today, leaving him snoring in her hammock with Soleil sprawled as a baby badger over him. Hau woke up, slithering into her shirt and keeping himself warm by her stomach as they walked out into the forest.

Reina was already waiting for them.

“Dove,” Reina greeted, velvet voice carrying over as Hoku trudged through the dewy grass. Sunlight was warming her pelt, heating it up like a forge and turning the red-gold of her pelt darker and brighter.

Hau muttered a low, half-reluctant protest. Yesterday, Luffy had picked him up, holding him close and willingly thrusted Hau toward Shanks like some kind of sacrificial offering.

Shanks didn’t take the daemon, simply grinning in understanding at Hau’s horrified expression. Her daemon had never felt more betrayed.

“Hau, you gotta get along with everyone!” Luffy laughed. “Don’t be dumb like Hoku!”

Hoku couldn’t stop the greedy, uncontrollable itch in her fingers.

“...good morning,” Hoku mumbled, tucking hair behind her ear out of habit. Reina was stretched out, regal and picture perfect on that same slab of stone. Dawn was rising over the fine curve of her spine and the lioness kept her gaze on them evenly, waiting as Hoku slowly came to stand beside the slab of rock.

Reina’s ears swiveled forward. She watched Hoku, eyes glittering. A soft sound left her parted jaws.

Hoku hesitantly took a seat on the rock, a few inches away from Reina. She could feel heat rising from the daemon, her head turning to follow Hoku as they stared at each other.

She weakly raised one hand. Hau’s heartbeat matched her own.

“Could I… Could I draw you?”

Reina’s jaws parted to let out a soft rumble. Her body curved more, keeping Hoku in the middle. Her paws stretched out and Reina kept her eyes evenly on Hoku’s.

Hoku softly set her hand down on Reina’s side. Warmth flooded into her fingertips, spreading up her arm and making half her body feel almost numb with the sensation. Hoku’s head spun, buzzing with that vibrant thrum of energy as Reina’s pelt shifted under her fingertips. Hoku daringly let her hand come down Reina’s spine, feeling the muscles and scars in one gentle stroke.

Reina’s scratchy tongue dragged over Hoku’s hand in approval.

“I hope that man is deep, deep asleep,” Hau muttered. Hoku agreed.

She thought her heart was going to burst.

- - - - - -- -- - -

“This place is crawling with marines now,” Smoker said. “What are you going to do? Let them arrest you like some kind of washed up drunk?”

Hoku lightly pushed the glass in front of her. The bartender nervously refilled the glass, jumping in fear when Smoker glared daggers at him.

“Hoku,” Smoker said.

The woman kept swallowing mouthfuls of the whiskey in her cup, ignoring him. Blanca’s fur had settled over her back, smoothing out. His daemon watched the woman before them in silence, looking at Hau and then back to Hoku.

A soft sound left Blanca’s lips. Smoker shot her a warning look. The smoky colored husky daemon lowered her tail.

“What happened to all that spunk?” Smoker continued. “You don’t give two shits if I cuff you and take you in from here?”

Hoku didn’t even turn to look at them. She kept her shoulders hunched, curling in on herself over the bar’s countertop and refusing to meet the gazes burning into her back. The empty glasses spread out across the wood counter beside her, the heavy smell of alcohol settling amidst the cigarette smoke.

Hau kept silent at her feet, curled up and head low. Smoker observed the daemon carefully, noticing the matted fur, the dirt stains in the crisp white that used to be his go-to for hunting them down in the crowd. His unsheathed claws, caked with dried dirt and blood. The cleanest spot was the blood red ink curled over his half-hidden face under the countertop’s shadow.

A new spot was inked into his fur. A small, blood red flame right where the muscle of his shoulder blade bunched under his right foreleg. Smoker’s eyes traveled upwards to the matching red flame inked into Hoku’s skin over her right shoulder blade.

“This is it?” Smoker said gruffly.

Hoku snorted. Blanca shot him a look, gray eyes hard to read but Smoker never needed to read her eyes, he could hear her thoughts loud and clear in his own head, in the space they shared.

“Who cares,” Hoku muttered bitterly. “You got what you wanted.”

Blanca fell silent. Smoker shot his daemon a sharp look, but she refused to meet his gaze, tail limp behind her and ears pricked far forward, focused on the woman before them.

Hoku bowed her head. Her hands went up, carding through her hair, holding them there as though she were cradling her head in her hands.

“You won,” Hoku whispered.

His daemon took a step forward.

“Blanca,” he warned.

The husky kept her muzzle shut, looking at him.

“Smoker.”

Smoker tossed his cigar to the side. His gloved hand clenched into a fist before it loosened. Smoker let out an aggravated sigh, shaking his head. He took a step forward, raising his hand up.

Hau’s growl ripped through the air like a knife. A single, resounding warning. Smoker glanced down to the daemon, glaring at them with icy venom, fangs and claws bared. Blanca lowered her head only an inch, her only way of showing they meant no harm. Hau pulled his lips back into a louder snarl, tail lashing in aggravation.

Hoku glanced down to her companion, frowning for a moment before she raised her head and looked back at Smoker.

Tears continued to trickle from the corners of her eyes. They slid down the curve of her cheeks, dripping down her chin. Hoku watched him in silence, expression unreadable.

The admiral hesitated for only a second. Blanca let out the softest, softest whine.

For a moment, Hau’s body untensed, staring. The foggy look started to clear. Hoku’s brows creased and Smoker reached out with his gloved hand one more time.

The doors to the bar slammed open.

The light winked out from Hoku’s eyes. Hau stood onto his paws, head lowered, eyes narrowed into dangerous slits.

His men flooded the dimly lit room, raising their guns and shouting out orders as Smoker cursed in his head and Blanca’s ferocious barks of protest flooded the room over his, ordering the marine daemons to stand down.

Smoker lurched, eyes snapping in surprise to where Hau suddenly had Blanca pinned to the wooden floorboards of the bar. His daemon was silent, rigidly looking up at Hau with her teeth barely bared, body still while Hau’s jaws were wrapped around her neck. Smoker felt his teeth on his own, Hoku’s dead eyes looking at all of them.

“Go ahead,” Hoku said coldly. She turned to the marines by the door, half-smiling. “Just don’t forget, Hau’s got one more life over her.”

Blanca kept silent, staring imploringly at Hau. The panther ignored her gaze, keeping his jaws buried in the scruff of her throat, waiting. Smoker stared hard at Hoku and she kept her gaze on his men, expression devoid of emotion.

-- - ----- ----

“Estrella,” Law drawled, ice dripping with the roll of his tongue.

His daemon pounced.

They poor no-body marine dog never stood a chance.

--- --- ---- ---- ---

“No,” Law said. “This is rehab.”

He kicked Hoku’s lower back, sending her flying down the stairs with an ungoldy screech and down into the boiler room. Penguin and Sachi peeked their heads around the corner, staring down into the darkest depths of their sub while Law shoved a hand into his pocket.

“Is she still alive?” Penguin asked.

“She’s got a couple, right?” Law asked Hau. “Which one was that?”

Hau flicked his tail tip, the only sign of his annoyance. Estrella watched him with peering eyes, following the sway of Hau’s haunches as he slunk down the steps into the boiler room after Hoku.

“Fuck you, Law!” came the ghostly holler. “I’m going to blow up your submarine! You forgot I’m suicidal, asshole!”

Law looked satisfied, turning his back on them and closing the boiler room door. To Sachi and Penguin he added, “Make sure she doesn’t come out until she’s done.”

---- --- --- --- ---

Law froze, his entire body stiff as ice.

He took a moment, reassessing the sensation he felt unfolding in his chest. He considered it carefully, made sure this… this feeling was not a mistake, that he had not wrongly interpreted the shared sensation between himself and his daemon. He picked it apart in seconds, slowly, rigidly turning his head to the corner of the deck.

It was dark, only a single headbeam lit from the corner pathway of the submarine. The deck on top of the rounded hull was bathed in darkness, but even in the thin light, he knew down to his bones he was not seeing wrongly.

Law gave the woman beside him one discreet, searching glance.

Hoku looked completely and utterly unaffected. He watched her a second longer to make sure it wasn’t an act, but her careless, bored demeanor showed truthfully she had no inclination whatsoever to sharing his barely, barely startled turmoil. Hoku looked completely at ease, still squinting in the distance to see if she could make out the constellation they’d just discussed, mouth moving around the dried fruit she’d just popped into her mouth.

Law carefully, with great composure, withheld the light, creeping shiver that traveled down his spine. He narrowed his eyes, looking back, but Estrella coyly kept her mind blank, hiding all of her thoughts from him the way they’d taught each other to.

There, against the side of the entry doorway, the two of them laid.

Hoku’s daemon had stretched out, directly in the middle of the deck to keep the perfect distance away from either side of the railings. His long, furred body turned a pale, ghostly shade of white under the moonlight, large paws hiding pearl white claws. Hau’s side rose and fell in lazy slumber, his tail stretched out behind him like a white whip, ears twitching only occasionally.

But the issue was who was beside him.

Estrella had silently made her way from Law’s side across the deck to his. Her lithe, powerful feline body almost nearly matched his in size. Law watched her with rapt, rigid focus, brows furrowed in dark disbelief as his daemon purposefully ignored his silent prodding.

She stopped inches from Hau’s form, sitting on her haunches, tail curled neatly over her paws. Hau’s ear flicked once in her direction to signal he’d noticed, but kept his eyes closed. Estrella stared down at him, icy gray gaze that had stared back as she ripped throats out of marines and pirates and their enemies alike, becoming almost clear.

Estrella rearranged herself, laying down on her stomach barely a centimeter—a heavy, tense centimeter Law could feel—from him. She folded her paws neatly over each other, staring out seemingly in boredom. Her striped black tail flicked from side to side, occasionally brushing against Hau’s limp one. A ghost of a touch.

Touch.

His daemon. Estrella.

Hau didn’t move, tail limp, body relaxed. Estrella turned her head to look down at the other daemon, expression carefully blank. Her tail curled and then the tip of it brushed against Hau’s flank. His fur seemed to shift, bright, scarred pink nose twitching but he remained relaxed. Estrella seemed pleased by this and her tail promptly laid out beside his own, curling idly over his.

Touching.

Law looked back at Hoku and she reached for another dried fruit, popping it into her mouth. She shuffled through her bag, debating whether or not to shove a handful more. Oblivious.

Is your connection to your daemon that terrible? Law almost bit out. Almost. It would have come out calm and cold and collected. Are you that dull? Is it that messed up? Are you an idiot—

He went rigid, gripping Kikoku with white knuckles.

Law exhaled, slowly. He carefully turned over his shoulder, inch by inch, glaring daggers behind him.

Estrella didn’t even blink at him, eyes trained sideways and away. She looked silver against Hau’s snow white. Her long, raspy pink tongue slid out languidly from her mouth in soothing, relaxed motions. It showed off the dangerous curve of bone-crushing fangs. But Estrella’s tongue was now running over the top of Hau’s face, over his ears, around his neck as she turned her face and—

“Are you grooming him?” Law spat out in disbelief at her.

The snow leopard lazily flicked her tail behind her in response. Hau yawned, stretching his paws out, unbothered, and resumed his slumber as Estrella continued her grooming, content.

Law ripped apart the shudder that almost raced down his spine. He shoved the sensations traveling from Estrella and Hau’s shared connection, the low buzz of energy, of electricity that came when two daemons touched each. A feeling he’d only ever felt when Corazon’s Rosa would curl her soft, furry body up around Estrella—

He grit his teeth, squaring his shoulders and forcibly maintaining his composure as he promptly knocked Kikoku against the metal railing once.

Hoku looked up, brows creasing. A fruit stuck out from between her lips. She gave him a look, as though he’d done something wrong for disturbing her.

Your daemon is touching my daemon.

“Somethin’ wrong?” Hoku asked.

Do you not feel what I feel?

Law gave her a flat look. Hoku continued to chew.

Go get your daemon—

“Hoku,” she and Law both looked down. Hau’s voice was smooth and not too low, like a melted rumble. He came up to her leg, pressing his big head against her hip and curling his tail over her leg. The white panther daemon blinked blue eyes up at them. Law could see gold.

Hau seemed to examine Law for a moment before his long whiskers twitched. The white panther blinked once. Law stared back at him, curious about the eye contact someone else’s daemon was making with him.

Without even pausing, Hoku’s hand ran over his face, pushing past his soft ears and turning against his cheek to scratch under his chin. Hau lifted his head for better access, a loud rumble filling the air.

Several feet away, Estrella slowly made her way toward them, nonchalant and shifting mass of silver and black fur. She didn’t even acknowledge the icy daggers her other half was fixing her with, haunches swaying as she came up and sat down loyally by Law’s feet. Estrella looked up at Hoku, whiskers twitching.

“What game are you playing?” Law thought at her.

“Nothing,” Estrella thought back at him, innocent. “Nothing at all.”

---- ----- -----

P.S - If you guys like this au, highly recommend checking out 500shadesofblue’s story “Echoes” on ao3, super good.

#memos #memos au #hdm au #daemons #straw hat crew #shanks #trafalgar law #mihawk #mahina #manu #hoku #ko fi requests #smoker

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theajaheira · 4 years

Text

not posting this to ao3 bc the convoluted context only exists on tumblr, but here’s a mini thing i wrote today from that au where oz is dating giles and jenny’s daughter. also giles and jenny were in a band together pre-canon for a little while and have a very convoluted love story that i swear will eventually be a fic. fun times.

other things pre-fic that are fun:

ripper and jenny spent like a decade in la co-running a music store together while also raising their kids. jenny handled the actual business, ripper taught guitar classes on the side. janna is very musically gifted but teddy can’t carry a tune to save her life.

theoretically this is a version of canon where janna and buffy are the same age, and someday i will also write the fic where janna appoints herself buffy’s watcher, kicks wesley in the knees, and screams at every member of the council that comes near buffy. she’s heard enough horror stories from her dad.

“Are you nervous?”

The question took Oz by surprise. “Should I be?”

Janna didn’t answer. When he turned to look at her, he saw that she was looking out the window at what he assumed was their final destination: a relatively ordinary-looking house with the beginnings of a vegetable garden on the front lawn. “The last time I brought a guy home to meet my parents, he was super nervous,” she said. “Like, all spacey and weird. My dad was extra nice to him to compensate, but my mom kinda antagonized him a little ‘cause she thought it was funny. She probably won’t do that to you, though. I bet she’ll like you. I mean, she likes pretty much all my friends that I actually care about, and last time I brought a guy home I didn’t actually like him. Mostly it was just to show up Teddy ‘cause she’s always giving me grief about—”

Abruptly, Oz understood. Without a word, he gently tugged Janna’s clenched fists into his own hands, untangling the tightly coiled fingers to lace them with his own.

Janna exhaled. Shakily, she said, “I just really want them to like you.”

“I know,” said Oz.

“I mean really. Usually I don’t care a whole bunch, but you’re different.”

“I know,” said Oz.

“And sometimes my mom can be a little mean. Not like mean-mean, she’s just like that, it’s her way of being nice—”

Oz tugged on Janna’s hands, pulling her into a careful hug. Janna let out a nervous laugh and pressed a clumsy kiss just under his jaw. “I’m a pretty easy guy to like,” he said. “Unless your parents are the kind that don’t like it when a guy is in a band.”

“That would be totally hypocritical,” said Janna. “They were in a band.”

Processing this, Oz felt a slow smile sneak across his face. “So it’s genetic?”

Janna blinked, then smiled too. “Kinda, yeah! They ran a music store in LA till we moved. My dad’s the one who taught me how to play guitar and sing and stuff. He’s not classically trained or anything, but he takes it super seriously.”

“Your dad sounds pretty cool,” said Oz.

“He is pretty cool,” said Janna, her smile growing.

Gently, Oz tugged on Janna’s hand, then let go to open his door and get out of the car. He crossed around to open the door for her too, extending a hand to help her out. She laughed, letting him pull her out of the car, and tripped very purposefully to fall for a moment against his chest; he nudged the car door shut behind her and tugged her into a hug. “We got this, Jay,” he said, smoothing down her hair.

Though she was still very clearly nervous, Janna nodded, tucking her arm into his as they walked up the driveway. Oz rang the doorbell.

Thudding footsteps came from inside the house. Janna groaned. “Oh, no,” she muttered under her breath.

“Is this the boyfriend?” demanded a voice as the door was wrenched open. Looking down, Oz saw a small girl of about twelve surveying the two of them with interest. “I thought he’d be taller. How come he’s shorter than you? Why—”

“I am gonna punt you into next Tuesday, Teddy,” Janna threatened.

“Oh, this is Theodora?” said Oz with interest. “Pleasure.”

“At least someone has manners,” said Teddy with great dignity, turning on her heel and striding down the hall.

“Aren’t you gonna invite us in?” Janna yelled after her.

“Nope!” Teddy yelled back. “You’re probably vampires!”

“Someday I’m gonna kick her like a soccer ball and no one will ever see her again,” Janna was muttering as she yanked Oz over the threshold, roughly divesting him of his coat to hang it on a nearby coat tree. “I used to play soccer in middle school and I think I still know how to do it. Maybe I can get Buffy to do it. I bet if I kicked her really hard—”

“No kicking your sister,” came a very familiar voice.

If Oz was the kind of person whose jaw dropped, he thought it might have right then. Standing in the kitchen doorway was none other than Jenny Calendar, the original drummer for the Spitfires—the one who had toured with the band for two years before she and the lead guitarist dropped out to raise a kid. Jenny Calendar was looking between the two of them with an intrigued grin. Oz had a record with this lady’s face on it. “Uh,” he said. “What?”

“What?” said Janna, as though this was just a normal meeting between Oz and his girlfriend’s mom. “Anyway, mom, this is Oz. Oz, this is my mom, she—”

“I know who she is,” said Oz.

“Well, duh, I just told you,” said Janna. “Where’s Dad? Is he upstairs dissecting bug things for Buffy again?”

“Yeah, that was one time and I told them both they’re never doing that again. That’s my job in this house.” Jenny ruffled Janna’s hair. “Glad nothing ate you on your way here.”

“If it does, you gotta make a necklace out of my bones or something metal like that,” said Janna very seriously.

“God, you’re just like your dad,” said Jenny.

“Oh, yeah, it’s me she gets it from,” quipped Ripper, rounding the corner with Teddy on his shoulders. “Not like anyone else in this house was violent and terrifying at fifteen.”

“Okay, one, shut up. Two, no one needs to hear any of those stories. Three, shut up.” Jenny punched Ripper’s shoulder, careful to avoid jostling Teddy.

Oz was thankfully a little bit more prepared for Ripper’s entrance. If the Spitfires’ drummer was Janna’s mom, the lead guitarist pretty much had to be her dad. “Uh, hey, Janna,” he said, tugging at his girlfriend’s sleeve, “can we—talk outside for a sec?”

Janna looked a little puzzled, but acquiesced without much argument.

Shutting the door behind them, Oz said, “Your parents are Jenny and Ripper.”

“Huh?” said Janna, then, “Oh,” and then her face split open in a huge smile. “I didn’t know you knew about them! Pretty much nobody does! They left the Spitfires before the band got big, so it’s not like I bring it up a lot—”

“Okay, this makes so much sense,” said Oz.

Janna blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Your whole,” Oz waved a hand, “cool thing. It’s not just you, it’s genetic.” He grinned. “I don’t think I stood a chance.”

Janna went very pink, her smile impossibly bright. “You totally have to tell them you like their stuff,” she said. “Dad’s kinda mellow about it, but Mom has these insane stories from the years before she and Dad hooked up and she loves telling people about them.”

“Well, I’d love to hear your mom’s cool band stories,” said Oz, squeezing Janna’s hand. “Probably have a few of our own to share, right?”

“I mean, I’ve told them most of my good ones,” said Janna. “Remember that one time I broke a guitar over Devon’s head?”

“Fondly,” said Oz.

Janna snickered. “Dad’s done worse,” she said. “He was in Wretched for a little while. It was more of a Brit thing so you probably haven’t heard of it, but we have a demo album that they made and it’s soooo bad—”

“Mom wants to know when you’re coming in for dinner!” Teddy yelled from inside the house.

“IN A MINUTE!” Janna yelled back.

“We could go in now,” Oz suggested, “if you—”

Draping her arms around his neck, Janna said, “Give me a minute, Daniel.”

~~~

“Oh my god, I love him,” said Jenny delightedly. “Rupert, he knows our stuff! Does anyone ever know our stuff?”

“Janna’s last one didn’t,” said Ripper, attempting to take a forkful of casserole off his wife’s plate. Jenny whacked his fork with her knife. “Though I do think our darling Teddy psychologically broke the poor chap halfway through dessert.”

“If he was weak enough to be broken by a fifth-grader, he deserved to start crying,” said Teddy mildly. “It’s just facts.”

“She gets the mean streak from me,” said Jenny affectionately, looking at Teddy with adoring pride. “Mama’s girl.”

“They both get the mean streak from you,” said Ripper. Jenny started throwing wadded-up paper towels at him. “See?” he said, catching one of them and lobbing it back in his wife’s direction. “This. This is what I mean.”

“Your family is cool,” said Oz. “My mom’s gonna have a lot to measure up to.”

“Oh god I have to meet your mom?” squeaked Janna. “No one’s ever wanted me to meet their mom! Oh my god, you didn’t—why would I—”

“You know she’s never been this nervous about anyone she’s dated?” said Teddy conspiratorially to Oz. “I think she really likes you. Plus she writes your names together all the time on the fogged-up mirror in the bathroom and she made you a mixtape but she’s too scared to give it—”

“I’m gonna throw you out a goddamn window,” Janna hissed in Teddy’s direction. “You better believe I will.”

“Oz, you’re in a band, yeah?” said Ripper, giving Oz a little grin. “Might be nice to play sometime together, if you’d like.”

“Yeah, I would,” said Oz, and smiled back.

#fic #janna au #calendiles #ISH but they're married #(they got spontaneously married in vegas so that it would be easier to co-run a business)#anyway: yes. pls enjoy this snip. i am writing again now but it's all stuff that will take a while to see the light of day.

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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

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August 5: 3x02 The Enterprise Incident

After several weeks of being in like a TOS desert (Assignment: Earth; Spock’s Brain) finally we get to The Enterprise Incident, one of the best episodes, possibly of all time. Why was D.C. Fontana so good??? How??

McCoy narration! How unusual. I like how it contributes to the generally jarring opening, with Kirk acting so out of character and so on. All of the crew being fooled and the audience too.

I’d say this scene is the only one Kirk haters have ever seen--where he’s all arrogant and impatient and mean--but he’s not being slutty enough.

When you need intel, you go to Uhura.

This is an interesting ep because the Enterprise is being uncharacteristically sneaky. Usually, they’re obviously doing the right thing in the straightforwardly right way, but this really is an espionage mission, which includes, in addition to the garden variety lying, major stuff like uh treaty breaking.

Wow, a Romulan with a name. Unusual. Is he the first named Romulan?

They want the Enterprise. They want his lady!

Hmmm, you have a Vulcan on board, do you? Very interested in that. It’s pretty funny that the Commander calls up as soon as Tal mentions Spock,like she has a sixth sense that picked up on a potential hottie on the enemy ship.

Oh no, Kirk and Spock aren’t getting along. Trouble in paradise...

Spock looks very disapproving. And Kirk is acting downright despotic. Hot.

Imagine being the Romulan hostages lol. That’s awkward. “Go their ship and uh sit in their brig, nbd, we’ll bring you back.” (And then later one of them is unceremoniously stripped naked.) (And then later still they’re completely forgotten about!!!)

Scotty’s face when he sees the hostages is very funny. Like “oh I know what to do with YOU.”

I love the Female Romulan Commander already.

Wow Kirk is such a liar. Just say it loudly enough and it will SEEM true. Navigation error etc.

“It’s no myth that Vulcans can’t lie,” Spock lied.

“It’s not a lie to keep the truth to oneself.” Feel like I gotta outright steal that.

Oooh, the Commander has a temper.

Kirk is “a highly sensitive and emotional person.”

He’s living for the drama.

This must be all very confusing for the crew.

I love Captain Scotty. He’s so intense.

“You make a brave noise.” Burn.

Spock’s been an officer for 18 years. I’d do the math on that but I’m not sure when one becomes an officer specifically.

“Do you like Captain Kirk?” (I don’t even remember why I wrote this down, but uh, yeah.)

...Damn this whole scene is so good.

“I don’t make house calls.”

Except for Kirk.

It’s bizarre that the Romulans are in Klingon ships (that look like Federation ships on the inside) for pretty much no reason but I do like the design of them in general.

Funny how “Attend me” sounds an awful lot like “My wife, attend.”

Lol at the crocheted board shorts on the male Romulan officers. The Commander is MUCH more stylish.

“Are the guards invited on our date?”

“It would be illogical to assume that all conditions remain stable.” What a F L I R T.

Very bold of her to basically declare “Spock, you’re Captain now.”

Kirk looks like the drunk friend, swaying in the background, gearing up to something.

“Vulcan death grip” lol. Sounds like made up Vulcan nonsense to me! (And it is.)

Even if it weren’t, Spock is an adult Vulcan and a trained Starfleet officer, he would never just accidentally death grip someone.

And now it all comes out. Because Chapel was nosy. Love that she just casually knows all this stuff about Vulcan abilities.

They told Bones pretty late about this whole plan. I feel like Scotty and Bones should have been in the original loop.

“You’re lucky they didn’t start an autopsy.”

Love that part of Kirk’s transformation into a Romulan was putting on eye shadow.

Also love Scotty’s face journey when he sees Romulan!Kirk.

Look at these decadent Commander’s quarters. Spock must love them.

Recruiting inducements lol--is that what the kids are calling it these days?

“Don’t beam me into a bulkhead.” Don’t even joke.

Spock hasn’t sent the coordinates because he’s DISTRACTED while on his DATE.

I love their little square drinking glasses.

“I do... appreciate it.”

“If you don’t tell me your name, I’ll have to make one up for you.”

TOS Spock apparently more smooth than AOS Kirk.

When she stood up, that mini-skirt basically became a shirt--barely.

His lady leaves the room and he immediately call his man--what a slut.

The Commander’s “casual” outfit is easily one of the best TOS costumes. So pretty! 10/10 would wear today.

“Stimulate...our discussion.” Sure. Your discussion.

He’s been moved emotionally.

Dammit Tal! Stop cockblocking the commander.

Love how obvious it was that she and Spock were hooking up--she's dressed up, he appears dramatically from behind the flowing white curtains in her frankly huge quarters.

The cloaking device looks suspiciously like Nomad again.

“How could you do this to me?” Girl, you’ve known him for an hour. Calm down the drama.

Also love the earrings.

That was a weak slap. She should have sent him sprawling with her Romulan strength. I guess her heart wasn’t in it.

Romulans are Vulcans but with unfiltered Drama.

I like her jellyfish chair.

Now Spock shall fillibuster his own death by reading a very long prepared statement.

She hears the phrase "historic tradition" and sighs like "this is gonna be the longest 20 minutes of my LIFE.”

Silly of Kirk to assume they wouldn't fire on the commander and/or that she wouldn't ORDER them to fire.

“Alien contraption.” Scotty enjoying himself.

Hmmm, the Commander was bragging to Spock off screen about the cloaking device--what else might she have said that we didn’t hear?

Mr. Spock will escort you to your quarters--more like Mr. Spock will escort you to HIS quarters amirite?

She would like his weaponry.

“Military secrets are the most fleeting of all.” Well that line didn’t have to go that hard.

“It was the only choice. You would not respect any other.” Where’s all the talk about loyalty and oaths now?

“They do not look aesthetically agreeable on humans.” Textual evidence for my theory that Vulcans, though humanoid, have some sort of indescribable Alien Aura quite apart from the eyebrows and ears.

That was such a good ending. Last major dialogue scene was a serious one between Spock and the Commander, but then there’s a little humorous coda, too--a good shot of Spock looking pensive, but also the peanut gallery having a little laugh.

I love that episode so much. I love how... difficult Spock is to read. On the one hand, I do think he was really attracted to the Romulan Commander. I also think he was hiding a lot of the truth about why he didn’t join the Romulans--I mean yes, that was never a real option and it would certainly be wildly out of character for him to do it. But he also talks exclusively about loyalty to Starfleet, his oath, his uniform, as if but for the happenstance of these things, if he were making a decision for himself instead of following his duty, he might prefer to be with her and the Romulans. But what about the obvious other factor--Kirk himself? What about “A starship runs on loyalty to one man, and no one can replace it--or him?” I feel like his connection to Kirk is like the unspoken undertone to all of this. Especially because, as Captain and XO, they were the only ones to know about this plan from the beginning, and probably came up with the details of it themselves. But we also know that Spock takes the mean things that Kirk says to heart, even if they’re only said as part of a mission or larger ploy. And we also know that he truly desires belonging, and that being part one thing and part another often makes him feel as if he belonged nowhere. But the Romulan Commander didn’t seem to care about his human heritage. She asked him what he was, and only mentioned the human part one other time, not in a negative way. I do see the temptation for him.

It’s also interesting that Kirk initially refers to the Commander as “he,” implying he didn’t know specifically who was in charge of the ship. That means that while he and Spock clearly planned for Spock to undermine and then “kill” Kirk, and almost certainly to play on Romulan/Vulcan cultural connections, they probably did not plan on Spock seducing anyone. He did that on his own.

This would reboot so well. Like, aside from the S/U aspects, it’s a perfect candidate: a spy narrative that has a little bit of the gray morality they’re so attached to; Kirk and Spock tension; Kirk being Dramatique; cool aliens--and it would have been very interesting to see this story play out in the context of the destruction of Vulcan. (More generally, I think completely forgetting about the Romulans after the first reboot film was a huge mistake but whatever.)

Mmmm, I just... I want to watch it again lol. D.C. Fontana was truly the queen of alien world building. That sense of alien-ness that I get in the Spock and Commander scenes is like what I’m going for in some of my own stuff.

#the year 2021 #2021: fandom thoughts #2021: star trek #star trek tos

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kbstories · 4 years

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Deconstruction

de·con·struc·tion (n.) The act of breaking something down into its separate parts in order to understand its meaning.

To Trafalgar Law, trust has never come easy.

(Or: Luffy does his thing and Law recovers.)

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Trafalgar Law Needs A Hug, Recovery, Nakamaship, Luffy Being Luffy, Minor Canon Divergence

Set between Dressrosa and Zou but Sanji is there because the author mixed up the canon timeline woops. Content warning for references to suicidal ideation (in the context of Law’s plan).

***

The coffee is good, Trafalgar Law thinks as he follows the wood grain pattern of the Sunny’s dining table with zero interest. His eyes itch like there’s a sandstorm raging between cornea and lid; Law is certain they’re swollen something fierce too, and can’t bring himself to care. Fuck, his head hurts.

Another sip, and Law’s lips twitch into a frown. Scratch that, the coffee is fantastic, and isn’t that another entry on the ridiculously long list of things-to-resent-Luffy-for. Admittedly, this particular dose was administered by Strawhat’s cook. Luffy-by-proxy, then.

Never let it be said that Trafalgar D. Water Law can’t be both a master strategist and a petty asshole.

Cigarette ever-present between his lips, Sanji regards him with something-like-sympathy. The look doesn’t stick around, there and gone while he prepares enough food to be considered a light lunch on the Thousand Sunny, and a veritable feast anywhere else.

Sour mood or not, Law can appreciate the space he’s given. Unlike a certain someone, most Strawhats know to leave him the fuck alone when Law asks for it.

With a porcelain click, a plate is placed next to his half-empty cup of coffee: It carries a colorful assortment of cut fruits and two onigiri, perfectly shaped. The portion is small enough not to challenge the loveless marriage Law has with his appetite, and the glass of water that follows is served sans the usual snide commentary.

So much for that.

Law glowers at Sanji but the cook has already moved on to the dozen other dishes in varying stages of preparation, and to have a staring contest with Sanji’s back would be, well, childish. And unproductive.

The past few weeks – and yes, it’s weeks and not years or decades as his overtaxed nerves will have him believe – have taught Law a great many things. How much he appreciates wonderful concepts like privacy and personal bubbles, for example, and that the Sunny is a parallel universe where those things simply do not exist.

Oh, and also that food is not to be wasted, or else.

Thus, Law doesn't. He eats, and a quiet breath makes it out of his mouth that is only partially the annoyed sigh he intended. Because the food’s fucking delicious, and his stomach decides to stop hating him because it’s his favorite, and the headache that’s been shadowing his every step since he woke up eases just like that. Suddenly, the mother of all emotional hangovers dims and for the first time in hours, Law can think.

Sanji smiles like he knows it, too, the bastard.

Weeks of this bullshit and he’s at his limit, defenses shot, walls badly patched up and crumbling regardless. Law blinks and groans, presses tattooed fingers to closed lids in a desperate bid for the moisture building there to fuck off already.

And he’d thought he’d cried himself into a desert just yesterday. A naïve assumption to make, on a ship populated by sentimental idiots.

“Luffy finally got to you, huh?”

Oh, Law does not want to talk about it. The crux of the problem is that he wasn’t raised among thieves – at least, not entirely – and with the empty plate in front of him and the pleasant tingle of caffeine in his system, politeness dictates some form of reciprocation. Bepo would be oh-so-proud of him, if…

Well. That thought is added to the pile of others he pushes far down to be able to function.

So Law mumbles, “That’s one way to put it”, a fleeting glance over the rim of his cup ensuring that yup, that damnable glint of kindness is back in Sanji's eye and this time it's going nowhere. Law’s shoulders draw up so tight they might as well be made of granite, as rigid and unyielding as he wants to be. Strawhat made quick work of that illusion, too.

“Listen, cook–”

“You really think you’re the only one?” Sanji interrupts him calmly, a statement-turned-question for Law’s sake, and Law shuts up and watches the other smoke for a few, tense seconds.

Tense for him, at least. Sanji looks like he does this every fucking day, leaning against the counter with his back straight and his legs crossed at the ankles and his words piercing past all pretense like he’s the one known to wield swords, not the other way around.

Law just gives him a look. Sanji chuckles and turns his head to blow out the smoke away from him; in return, the doctor spares him the comment about deadly habits that he’s probably heard from Chopper a thousand times anyways.

“Well, you’re not. Luffy pulled that shit with every single other person he’s decided to befriend, so we’re all – pardon the pun – on the same boat here.”

“…Everyone?”

Even Zoro? is the real question here, because Law can imagine pretty much every Strawhat losing it eventually (they’re an overly emotional bunch even on a good day) but somehow his mind blanks at their first mate. And Nico Robin, while he’s at it.

There’s a particular sort of glee in Sanji’s gaze, then. “Everyone. Captain’s a charming little shit, and he hates seeing someone being sad on his ship. With that fucker Mingo gone and”, he gestures casually at Law’s… everything, and Law glares, “it was only a matter of time, really.”

“I see”, Law says but he doesn't, not really. Even after sailing with him, fighting with him, bleeding with him, Luffy remains an enigma and ultimately unpredictable. Law taps a rhythm against the edge of the table, catches himself doing it, stops.

“I don’t know how you stand it.”

What he means is the incessant laughter, the constant interruptions, the Hi Traffy! and What are you doing, Traffy? and Traffy, play with us! and You’re funny, Traffy! – yet all he thinks of are intense brown eyes and a starburst scar and Luffy’s voice, quiet with sudden sincerity:

Don't you know? You deserve to be happy, Law.

Law misses the flippantly dismissive tone he was aiming for by a nautical mile and then some. He winces, looks away with a huff; there’s no way Sanji can miss the rough honesty in Law’s voice, obvious and crimson-red like a target sign, pointing to the parts of his soul left aching and raw.

All Sanji does is shrug as if to say, you get used to it, and he extinguishes his cigarette and picks up the plate and leaves the cup with a pointed look. The cook returns to his craft and just like that, Law is off the hook again.

Oh.

His coffee is cold by now but he finishes it anyway, downing the rest like a shot of liquor. Carefully, Law returns the cup to the counter next to Sanji’s elbow, and his murmur of thanks is accepted with an easy-going smile.

Law’s motivation to step outside and face the day is fractured and hazardously taped together at best. There is no reason to delay it any further: It’s a miracle the galley hasn’t been invaded already, especially with the smell of grilling meat wafting all over deck at this point. Law will take whatever his pitiful sense of luck will grant him.

That is, until he taps his hat in parting, opens the door and promptly stumbles over Monkey D. Luffy, captain of the Strawhat Pirates and recently-assigned commander of an extensive fleet, as he loses balance and rolls into the room with a dumbfounded look of surprise on his face. Law stares as it is swiftly replaced by a delighted smile.

“Oh, hey Tra–!”

With a flash of blue and the dull flop of a book on wood, Law disappears.

The sun is dipping towards the horizon and painting everything in vibrant reds and gold when Law decides to stop avoiding Luffy.

It’s a bizarre amalgamation of factors that leads up to it: Nico Robin’s look of mild curiosity as he appears in the library without warning; the fact Law has already dug up and read every book that is even tangentially related to any of his interests (and those that aren’t, too); a rare sense of yearning to feel the wind on his face and to watch the sea as she tosses and turns playfully against the Sunny’s hull–

The sea is out there, however, and so is Luffy, and were his self-control to slip any further, Law would shudder with the nervous energy that tingles in his veins at the thought.

The truth is that Luffy is brilliant. Perhaps not book smart like Law or as mechanically gifted as his shipwright or his sniper – people and emotions, that’s what Strawhat Luffy knows better than anyone, and it’s fucking terrifying. By his own design, Law is more lies and deceit and meticulous strategy than he is a person; it’s what carried him from being a child-beyond-death all the way to Dressrosa, the island-that-would-be-his-grave. It’s the one element that didn’t change in a plan he revised and adapted a million times over the years.

And then Law shambled Luffy out of the air and Luffy smiled at him and they set sail again and there, with all escape routes barricated by endless blue, the man dedicated a whole week of his life to go look for what’s left of Trafalgar Law in the aftermath and just... No.

A real shame that the ally he chose turned out to be allergic to plans. And common sense, and doing things in reasonable amounts, and– He sighs, a tired little noise that is lost to the uncaring backs of countless books.

Yeah, this is getting ridiculous.

Thousand Sunny can rarely be described as quiet by any definition. Stepping out on the quarterdeck, Law is met with the idle cries of sea gulls high above and the fluttering of the gaff sail as it turns to catch a lazy breeze. The sight of a napping swordsman, a sun-bathing model, and a skeleton delicately partaking in afternoon tea with a reindeer really shouldn’t register as anything other than bat-shit insane. He finds himself immediately losing parts of the habitual scowl he keeps on his face, and once again he has to wonder what kind of forbidden magic the Strawhats wield to simply do that.

No matter. With steady hands, Law tucks the tips of his hair under his hat – it’s gotten rather long, without Penguin around to cut it – and makes his way across deck, side-stepping Zoro’s comfortable sprawl with an ease born of practice.

The same ease with which he ignores the mumbled comment of “Fucking finally”, as much as it makes his stomach churn. The notion that everyone on the ship knows is not a comforting one.

Your crew is waiting for you! Are you gonna give up on them, too?!

You don’t know shit about my crew, Strawhat!

Then again, a screaming match between two captains in the small hours of the night can hardly be categorized as ‘stealthy’.

Framed by the sun, Luffy is a proud silhouette atop the figurehead of his ship. His legs are crossed, hands hooked under his shins as if to limit the amount of excited twitching to be done; boundless energy slips through the cracks like the glow of a firefly held between two hands. Law huffs a breath, shakes his head. A botched attempt at holding back but an attempt nonetheless. He can respect that, at least.

The unwritten agreement among the Strawhats is that this spot, it’s Luffy’s and Luffy’s alone. The man claims no other luxury on his own ship – which contains a captain’s cabin, Law checked with the cyborg on that, it’s just that it’s used for storage because Luffy-bro doesn’t like sleeping alone, you know? – and there hasn’t yet been a situation which required contesting that.

Thus, Law hesitates just outside the invisible circle drawn around the Sunny’s wooden mane. And, while there’s little doubt the other can track his approach, he knows he owes him for the tactical retreat earlier in the day.

“Luffy.”

Law’s tone is neutral, expression marginally softened by the clear relief in Luffy’s reply of “Traffy!” that comes with a glance over his shoulder. The grin that follows may be the only predictable thing about the guy, and Law can’t find it in himself to begrudge him for that.

“Come up, come up! I wanna show you something.”

For once, he walks instead of using Room. There’s nothing to replace himself with up there except for Luffy’s hat, and (the expected outcome of his big plan aside) Law doesn’t actually have a death wish. Step by step, Sunny’s head reveals a breathtaking view that only a handful of people have seen: From end to end, the line between sky and ocean disappears in the purple-pink swirls of twilight and a world that stretches on to infinity below their feet. Up here, a universe of possibility is within reach for those courageous enough to try.

No wonder Luffy adores it so much.

Law sits next to him with as much grace as he can muster, one knee pulled close to his chest and disregarding the painful twinge from his side where the nerves of his arm have yet to fully reconnect. His gaze remains on the horizon for a while longer, soaking up the sight befitting of a king.

“So that’s why you’re always up here.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah! It’s cool, right?” Luffy snickers, patting the polished wood under them like one would a well-behaved dog. Or lion, in this case. “Sunny’s the best. But that’s not it. Look!”

Law throws him a measured glance to see what he means and gets stuck on the scrap of paper cradled in Luffy’s hand with care, inching straight ahead. “Nami says we’re getting close”, Luffy tells him, voice radiating warmth and giddy anticipation in equal shares. “I can't wait to see them all again!”

Bepo (Bear), it says in Law’s own writing, with a miniscule scribble of the Heart Pirates symbol next to it.

“That’s...”

His train of thought is derailed by the sudden longing wrapping around his heart, there and impossible to push aside. Law misses his crew, misses Bepo’s stupid apologies and Ikkaku’s stern reprimands and the hopeless blush Penguin and Shachi share when a woman merely acknowledges their presence. In hindsight, the months without them seem unbearably lonely, bleak and shadowed without the cozy togetherness of his family and the comforting hum of the Polar Tang all around him.

To Law, giving that Vivre Card to the Strawhats was the last bit of reassurance he needed to make his plan a reality – a wordless promise for them to find his crew and tell them it worked, perhaps some final words, if he got lucky enough to utter them. Now, after, it takes all his resolve not to snatch the precious paper away and never let it out of sight ever again.

He snaps himself out of it in time to stay exactly where he is, opening his mouth without the faintest idea where to begin putting it all into words, but by that point Luffy is already showing him his palm, offering Law everything he holds dear without asking anything in return or even a shred of hesitation.

A captain without a crew is sad and lost. Don’t you know? You deserve to be happy, Law.

In that moment, it doesn’t matter how vulnerable and exposed he felt the night before or that Luffy saw– Law takes the Vivre Card back and holds it up to his eyes, barely blinking as the paper wriggles impatiently between his thumb and index, surrounded by the tender colors of dusk.

“I... When? Tomorrow? The day after?”

“Tomorrow”, Luffy nods and it’s the tone he makes promises with, filled with determination and the courage to dream. He leans back on his hands, says, “Told ya we’ll take you home”, the smile on Luffy’s lips now soft with fondness.

It's an unfamiliar comfort, to watch the sun disappear knowing dawn carries with it a brighter future. For the first time in years, excitement bubbles warmly in Law's chest. Humming, he quietly admits, “Yeah, you did.”

Then Law laughs, rusty and a little awkward, and feels freer than he ever has.

#one piece #trafalgar d. law #monkey d. luffy #fanfiction #lawlu #one piece fanfiction #i just want law to be happy.......#this fic is also on AO3!#my stuff

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nekomassetters · 3 years

Text

Twenty Six

"Be right back," Ritsuko calls out to you as she leaves the room to take a quick shower.

You're now reluctantly getting ready for your date tonight, trying to pick out something to wear. However, you didn't plan on going on any date so your selection of clothes is pretty limited.

Soon, you hear the door open up. Thinking Ritsuko was already back from her shower, you didn't bother looking to see who was there.

"Whatcha doing?" Mito asks as she walks in.

Seeing you on the ground, looking through your bag of belongings, Mito decides to kneel beside you.

"Just trying to find something to wear," you mutter as you continue rummaging through your clothes.

"Right. For the date. Hey how come I didn't get invited?"

"Mito," you groan as you sit up and look at her, "I'm more than happy to let you take my place."

"Seriously Y/N, what's the big deal with you not wanting to go on a date with Kenma. It seems like you're into him, despite what you may say."

"Look," you reply as you sit up and turn to face her, "I like Kenma as a person and the two of us have our fun sometimes, but it's not a relationship like everyone thinks."

As Mito is about to sympathize with you, the door bursts open revealing an angry Ritsuko staring at you.

"Bull fucking shit," she yells as she begins walking towards you, "the other night you admitted that you had a crush on him!"

You groan and internally yell as yourself before standing up to face Ritsuko.

"I was super drunk and you know that," you scoff, "besides you're completely taking it out of context!"

"The fuck? I beg to differ," she says boldly as she now stands right in front of you, "there was no context to confuse it with!"

"Whatever Ritsu," you groan, "you're too stubborn to talk to so can we just go?"

"Ehhh? I'm stubborn?"

"Shutup," you grumble as you walk past her.

Hearing nothing but silence fill the room, you reluctantly turn around and see your two closest teammates staring at you with anger and disbelief.

"Okay... I get your point now can we just get ready so we can go?"

Ritsuko rolls her eyes and doesn't add another word as she goes through her bag to pick out some clothes. You do the same, this time being way less picky than before.

Once the pair of you are done, you meet up with Taka and go to the boys' gym to meet the others.

📷

As the six of you head off campus towards a nearby restaurant that Ritsuko and Kuroo picked out, you keep towards the back of the group, walking with Taka.

You begin to notice her play with her hands, looking extremely nervous as she stares straight ahead of her. If her eyes were capable of it, they'd probably burn holes into the back of poor Akaashi's head.

"Taka you're gonna be fine," you whisper to her as you link your arm with hers, "Akaashi's quiet too so just be yourself."

"T-Thanks," she shyly replies as she turns her gaze towards the ground before her.

"Not a problem," you smile to nobody as you shift your gaze towards the others in front of you.

📷

"And you sit heeeere, Y/N," Ritsuko sings as she pushes you towards the seat next to where she had previously forced Kenma to sit.

"Hey," you whisper to him as you sit down.

You apologize to Kenma for your friend as you give Ritsuko a death glare. The girl continues to assign seats to the rest of the group as you and Kenma watch.

"It's fine," your date replies as he attaches his hand to your thigh.

You feel your body reflexively stiffen as you feel the heat of his hand sink into your body.

Why the hell did I wear a skirt?

Trying your best to ignore him, you keep your eyes focused on literally anything else besides him.

Throughout your time at the restaurant, Kenma continues to leave his hand glued to your leg. Occasionally giving you soft rubs when either you or he spoke.

"Right well as long as your ankle's feeling better," you smile to Akaashi after talking to him for some time.

Akaashi nods and you begin to feel Kenma's thumb rub against your inner thigh again.

"You cold Y/N?" Kuroo then randomly asks, "you've got piloerections."

Immediately you begin to choke on your own saliva as the mixture of Kuroo's words and Kenma's actions sink into your brain.

"My what?" you squeak out.

"Eh? What's the big deal? You just have goosebumps," Kuroo replies calmly as he turns his gaze to your shoulder.

"No, no, I'm fine," you anxiously reply.

After the awkward conversation, you glance over at Kenma and see him already staring back at you with his small, sadistic grin.

As your eyes meet, you feel a tight squeeze on your thigh. You then stand up, having enough of the situation.

The eyes of all of your friends look towards you. You awkwardly apologize for your behavior and say you're going to the bathroom. After excusing yourself, you make a quick beeline to the bathroom.

Locking yourself into the room, you turn the cold water on from the sink and splash your face, thanking yourself for not putting any makeup on. Turning the water off, you place your hands on the edge of the sink and look at yourself in the mirror before you.

You begin to give yourself a silent pep-talk turned lecture as you watch yourself in the mirror.

Soon, you hear a faint knocking at the door, taking you out of the trance you had placed yourself in.

"Occupied!" you cry out before turning your attention back to the mirror.

"Just open up Y/N, it's me," you hear Kenma's calm voice say from the outside.

"Fuck," you mumble to yourself as your body begins moving on its own towards the door.

Just as the door unlocks, Kenma lets himself right in. As he locks the door behind him, he immediately asks if you're alright.

"Oh I, uh-"

Your sentence gets cut off by Kenma's lips on your own. Although you should be used to it by now, his unexpected actions catch you by surprise. The feeling sends chills down your body as you get lightly pushed back.

"Now that I've finally got the time and space, I can fuck you properly," he growls as he pulls you closer towards him.

"Not funny," you scoff.

However, you know from the look in Kenma's eyes that he's being dead serious.

"I'm not trying to be funny," he replies as he sticks out his right hand, "give me your panties."

"My what?! Kenma I-"

"If you don't want to be here then leave, but if you're going to stay, take them off. Now."

As much as you didn't want to admit it, you were growing in anticipation of what Kenma was planning. You look past Kenma before returning your gaze to the serious, yet lustful look in his eyes.

Instead of retaliating, you decide to go along with what Kenma has asked. You work your panties down your legs and reluctantly hand them to the man before you.

Kenma quickly grabs them and places them into his pocket before you decide to change your mind. He then pushes you towards the nearest wall.

Pleasure begins to take over your body as Kenma attaches his mouth to your neck in a manner you were sure would leave a mark. As he does, you feel your left leg being gently lifted up and hooked around his waist.

"You do want to do this, right?" Kenma asks as he stands up and looks at you with anticipation.

"O-Of course," you breathlessly reply as you begin roaming your hands across Kenma's body.

As Kenma's left hand makes its way down your body, you realize your pussy is completely exposed to him. He then reaches his hand across your waist and runs his middle finger up and down your slit, feeling the sloppiness you've already created.

The next kiss Kenma lays on you once more makes you feel as though your body is on fire. The possessive feeling Kenma gives off makes you tear up as emotions mix around in your head. You begin realizing that you wouldn't want to be doing this with anyone besides the man in front of you. At the same time, the little voice in your head continues to tell you that you are just horny.

Once Kenma is satisfied by your juices coating his fingers, he releases you for a moment and pulls back. You watch as he unzips his pants and pulls his cock out.

Although it's not your first time seeing it, you begin feeling weak in the knees at the thought that he's about to put it inside you.

Kenma watches the lust builds up in your eyes as your pupils dilate and you bite your lip. He teasingly begins to stroke himself, enjoying the look of you watching him make his way towards you.

Having enough of his teasing, you grab Kenma by his shirt and pull him towards you. Being taken back by your confidence, he waits for what you do next.

"You always have to go around acting like the damn top around here when you're clearly not," you growl before pushing him into the position against the wall that you were just in.

Kenma's breath hitches as his back slams against the wall. Taking no mind in this, you grab Kenma's cock for yourself in one hand. With the other, you place Kenma's hand around your waist.

"Too bad," he groans as he lifts you up, forcing you to straddle him as he stands, "I like it this way."

Not waiting for you to snap back at him, Kenma aligns himself to your entrance and quickly slides himself in. You take a moment to realize how strong this man is, being able to hold up your weight as he puts himself inside of you.

Your cry to him as he bottoms out, filling his ears with your sounds as you clench your body around him.

Having enough of dealing with your weight, Kenma throws you back against the wall and keeps his arms attached to your thighs as he continues thrusting into you as far as your body will allow.

Continuing to take his length, you begin to realize how wobbly your legs will be once you're done. Had all of this been part of Kenma's plan? Was he trying to manipulate you? Thoughts continued to swirl around your mind as Kenma continuously fucks the life out of you.

"Shit."

Kenma's voice causes you to look up at him in curiosity. As the two of you make eye contact, your face contorts into confusion. Kenma, realizing this, decides to explain himself to you.

"You were the one talking shit but here you are, greedy for my cock," he says as the sadistic grin you were unenthusiastically used to seeing, graces his face.

"K-Kenma," you whimper as you feel your walls contracting around him.

You couldn't deny what he said, so you decide against complaining. That, and you weren't even sure if any more words could form out of your mouth without sounding like complete gibberish.

Giving in, you release yourself around Kenma, making an even bigger mess than before. After a few more added strokes, Kenma pulls himself out and quickly cums on your stomach.

"Shit I'm sorry I didn't think it was gonna come out that quick," he says apologetically as he rushes around to grab anything to clean you up.

"It's fine," you reply as you let out a small smile.

Once you're cleaned and Kenma's dressed, he makes his way towards the door.

"K-Kenma what about my panties?" you ask nervously.

"What're you talking about?"

Astonished, you continue watching as he reaches the door. Once his hand reaches the doorknob you call out to him again. Whatever possessed you to do this, you hope that you're making the right call.

"Just so you know, Ritsuko and Taka wanted me to come along. I-I'm not trying to force a relationship on you and I don't want you to get the wrong idea."

Kenma hesitates for a moment before turning the knob. Without looking back at you, Kenma gives his response.

"What relationship?"

#Wattpad #Kenma Kozume #kenma #kenma x y/n #ao3 #fanfic #haikyuu fanfiction #fanfiction #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu reader insert #haikyu x reader

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yourdeepestfathoms · 4 years

Text

Skin, Bone, and Scales

(Read Anne as Courtney!Anne)

This is just 75% fire figurative language

Word count: 6098

TW: Blood and pus, minor body horror (as in: sunburns and peeling skin)

———————

“Oh my god, you’re like a tomato with hair!”

The peculiar call caught Anne’s attention as she was changing into better shoes for rehearsals. She furrowed her eyebrows in both complexity and amusement, recognizing the voice as her little cousin. A smile formed on her lips, shaking her head at what could have possibly elicited such a strange comment.

When she walked out to the room they rehearsed in, she quickly realized what the context was and that it made perfect sense.

—

Joan had never been so hot before.

Her skin was baking, studded with blisters and boils along her shoulders and forearms and back like scales, as if she were a reptile and not a fleshy mammal. Her limbs were sacks of hot stones and smoldering embers that she had to drag around with her, and her ears simply felt as if they were lit on fire. Her cheeks, however, were by far the worst. It was like someone was holding hot iron to the sides of her face and wouldn’t let go, no matter how loud she screamed.

To put it simply, Joan felt like a roasted lamb on a spit, rotating slowly above hungry flames. Sometimes, she had fallen into their orange-gold mouths. She could almost feel the flaming tongues licking at her skin.

So, yeah. Joan wasn’t all that comfortable at the moment. And Kitty’s loud, obnoxious comments about it certainly didn’t help at all.

“It’s, like—peeling,” Kitty felt the need to declare openly. She reaches for Joan’s shoulder, but her knuckles get swatted, and she pulls away. “Oh, gross!” She laughed. “Did you put anything on it?”

“That’s not your business,” Joan hissed. The fire that has lit in her stomach flashes higher, and she could almost feel whorls of smoke wreathing out of her nose and ears. “Stop trying to touch me!” She hit Kitty’s hand away again. “And stop looking at me like that!”

As much as she hated it, she didn’t blame Kitty or anyone else for staring- she would have, too, if it were one of them that came into work glowing neon red from head to toe.

“Sorry, I don’t speak lobster!” Kitty laughed loudly and then finally backed down. She spread her hands in front of her in a peace offering. “It's just funny!”

“It really isn’t.” Joan grumbled more to herself than to the girl in front of her.

“I told you to put on sunscreen,” Jane helpfully spoke up from where she was doing some warmup stretches. Joan dared to shoot her a distasteful look.

��I did!” Joan cried woefully.

“Not enough.” Kitty giggled. ”Make sure you do next time! We don't want you animorphing into a lobster!”

Joan scowled at her grinning face and imagined what it would be like to blow hot embers in her eyes. She erased the thought quickly- not because it made her feel bad for thinking something so morbid, but because she didn’t want to give the pink queen that much of her attention.

“Moving on,” She rumbled. Her throat and nose ached in a fierce, raw way as if they had been scraped out with a jagged branding tool. She lumbered sluggishly over to the piano in the far corner and delicately touched one of the cold, smooth keys, almost expecting it to melt beneath her fingertips. When it didn't, she sat down at the bench and considered it safe for her to play. “Let’s begin.”

—

The scaly blisters that are bristled across Joan’s back prickle painfully against her shirt. She wanted to scratch them so badly, but she knew her nails would sink in like a heated knife in butter the second she barely brushed the bumpy skin. It would be a mess of pus and blood that she wouldn’t be able to hide since she was wearing a simple white tank top (she couldn’t bear to have anything touching her shoulders, and white did reflect sunlight, so she thought it would be fine). So, she just had to grin and bear it.

But she couldn’t even fucking grin! Smiling pulled the dry skin around her mouth taut, to the point where it felt like it was cracking and flaking off. She was constantly licking her lips because of this, which set off tiny flames in them each time she did so (and didn’t help at all, mind you).

What’s worse- she felt something welling up within her. It was an uncomfortable sort of sensation like someone had released thousands of fire ants inside of her. It took her so long to realize that this was how she usually felt with a fever because of how hot she already was.

Joan blinked her eyes quickly, suddenly feeling very dizzy. She stared down at her hands resting on the piano keys and thought she saw light grey smoke hissing from underneath her fingertips. She gingerly raised her fingers and saw no damage- she must have just imagined it.

She sighed and scratched her itchy knuckles. A new stinging pain shivered through her tendons at this stupid decision, like thick, globby fire leeches were suckered on her skin and dissolving it into a soupy, gory mess. She squirmed awkwardly in her seat at its oppressive tingling and tried to keep her eyes open, but it felt as if a talon of fire was pressing into the socket, so she had no choice but to squeeze them shut. Sweat beads on her brow from the exertion of her simply trying to ward off the unwanted sensation and right as she thought she started to feel a little better...

Blinding pain.

“Hey, are we gonna get to my song or what?” Cleves had been saying loudly. “I’ve wanted to try out this new move-” And then she slapped Joan’s shoulder in a friendly way.

But it came off as a lot less friendly to Joan.

Flames burst through that shoulder, sprinting fast across her rash and setting the scales ablaze with fresh agony. It welled up in her throat like she was about to vomit molten lava and clouded her eyes with smoky hazes that usually came with near-unconsciousness. Her teeth dug into her chapped lips, cracking them with the pressure, but she wasn’t able to hold back a yelp.

“What the FUCK?!” She cried. She was half expecting fire to come out when she spoke, but no trace of flames appeared in her mouth. They remained deep inside the furnace that was her scorched body.

Cleves grimaced, although there was still amusement glinting in her eyes. She lifted her hand, and a comically pale print was momentarily left on Joan’s bright red shoulder before being devoured by the sunburn. It securely plated its blisters and scales back over the mark, spreading like a crimson wildfire until it was inflamed and itchy once again.

“Whoops- sorry!” Cleves said. She was genuinely apologetic, but it seemed worthless because she was still laughing about what she did.

“Are you- mmmmm.” Joan gave up on arguing, instead of turning to a much better option- grumbling like a teenage fire dragon that just got part of its hoard confiscated by its parent fire dragons for accidentally eating one of the sheep that was supposed to be saved for the fire dragon dinner.

(She didn’t like being a fire dragon. If she were ever to draw Killer Frost as a fire dragon, she knew it would throw a fit or come out of the sketchbook and strangle her with its bare claws.)

“It’s—fine. It’s fine!” Joan finally snapped. She glared down at the piano, not wanting to see everyone else’s expressions. She knew that would be finding this funny, and that made her want to shove hot coals up all of their noses until it turned their faces into a charred, tarry goop and they couldn’t smile or smirk or laugh anymore. “Let’s just move on!”

Her voice was coming out too loud. It was biting, but not in a cold way. It came out in a smooth, warm, sunny way that nobody could take seriously. They saw her as a baby sheep that was trying to bleat at a butterfly in its flower patch.

But she just saw herself as a sheep with its wool on fire.

Smothering, encompassing, suffocating, asphyxiating- the white-gold flames press in on her. She’s a ball of fire, fleece ablaze, hooves smoldered, horns like pillars of pyre. She opens her mouth to scream, and flames come pouring out. Her insides are bloated with smoke and ash, charred and singed, and she can taste their tarry remains on the sediments of her shriveled, black tongue. When she hooked her nails in her neck and tore open holes, thick streams of smog so grey they looked black come floating out.

Joan was screaming, clawing, burning two inches away from everyone’s faces, and yet they were blind to the golden inferno embracing her body.

( “They think it’s funny,” Killer Frost would probably say if it weren’t hidden beneath the hellfire consuming Joan’s entire being. “They think it’s just a little sunburn. Nothing more. But if it were Kitty that was as red as a fresh apple in spring...”)

Her subconscious’ distant words are drowned out by the overwhelming sound of the incendiary. Torches are sent flaring through her nerves like pinpricks of hot needles before extinguishing enough for her to realize she had been playing the piano throughout that entire conflagration.

Somehow.

Joan breathed out a soft, shaky breath. That feverish feeling reignited itself once again- or maybe it’s always been there, and she just hadn’t noticed. At this point, as her brain was melting inside of her skull, she didn’t know much anymore. She was working purely on muscle memory, but that would soon go, too, as her tendons and nerves and muscles would dry up from the heat and become stiff, fragile, prettified remnants of what they used to be.

She gulped dryly, as there was barely any saliva left in her mouth, and it felt as if she had just swallowed igneous rocks. They landed heavily in her stomach and set the bile into an uncomfortable simmer. She began to worry if the lining would catch fire and burn her from the inside out or melt open holes and douse all her other organs in the boiling acid.

Joan swallowed again, and whatever flaming creature had been trying to crawl its way up her esophagus and out through her mouth raked its claws down her throat on its way back down. Then, she coughed and was surprised to not see a plume of ash come out.

God, she needed water. She needed to get out of these clothes, too. Her legs were nowhere near as bad as her back and shoulders, but her pants were rubbing the scarred flesh uncomfortably raw and she would just prefer to have them off.

Joan bounced her knee, feeling miserable. Her skin was melting off of her bones, her stomach was boiling, she was running a fucking fever, she was somehow shivering, and, good lord, was the heater on or something?!

She couldn’t take it anymore.

Joan stood up, wincing as she felt crackles and flickers and pops go off in her legs. She walked on eggshells on the way to the bathroom after calling a break- if those eggshells were on fire and actually pointy lava rocks.

Right about now, Joan would really prefer actual eggshells because, what the fuck, were the soles of her feet sunburnt, too?!

She careened into the bathroom, clipping her shoulder on the corner wall in the process and sending that smoky haze from before momentarily hissing across her vision. She braced herself up against one of the sinks, pressing her palms down on the smooth, cold granite as hard as she could to soak up the coolness, and glared at her puffy, inflamed, red face in the mirror.

God, no wonder everyone was laughing at her.

She was like a poor immolation to the overpowering pyrolatry. A lamb to the slaughter, a ram to the flames, a ewe to the end of a burning knife-

A piece of charred meat in the mouth of hungry flames.

Joan slowly eased herself back, removing all the weight she had been putting on her hands. It felt as if she were rubbing bituminous coals against her palms, so she turned on the sink and let it run over her hands and fingers and wrists. She carefully dabs some of the cold water on her hot cheeks and sighed softly in content. For just a brief, fleeting moment, the stinging seized and was snuffed out by a torrent of coolness.

That lasted for only a few seconds, though. The water ran warm when it dribbled down the sides of her face, much to her dismay. It was stupid of her to think she could even get a moment of comfort.

As if to prove that, Joan’s back tingles again and, this time, she didn’t care about ignoring it. She reached her arm around and under her tank top and scratched fervently at one of her shoulder blades, hoping to relieve some discomfort.

Her efforts, of course, did the exact opposite.

Joan couldn’t help the startled cry that escaped her lips. She ripped her hand away, and it came back wet and sticky and absolutely dripping with pus and blood.

It was as if her touch was heated- the minute her nails came in contact with her shoulder blade, the flesh peeled back, blisters popped, and fluids came angrily billowing out of the abscess like hundreds of wasps from a destroyed hive.

Joan dissolved into pathetic whimpers as tears came streaming free. They were gasoline on her flaming cheeks- increasing the stinging until it felt like holes were being melted open in the sides of her face, and she frantically squabbled to wipe her eyes. The rough brush against her cheeks agitated the inflamed flesh, and it punishes her foolishness by breaking open and spilling its red tears down her face.

Joan would scream if she could, but the hellfire had her by the throat. So she just wheezed like the scorched furnace she had become and let the liquid fire drool out of gaping, fleshy ventilation systems.

What else could you do when in the mouth of an inferno?

———

Anne will admit that it had been her idea to go to the beach, but in her defense, Kitty made it happen. That’s exactly why she had consulted the girl about her idea because she knew nobody in their house could say no to her. Besides, it was going to be alarmingly hot for a spring day in England, so why stay in a house with no AC when you could go swimming? It was a brilliant plan! And it worked out perfectly! Except for the part where Joan fried like an egg in the sun, of course.

But still, in her defense, Anne had no idea the girl was so sensitive to sunlight! She had seen her put on at least ten layers of sunscreen every thirty minutes! How was she supposed to know she would shrivel up and die?!

Oh, who was she kidding? Not even her internal yelling debate could ease the guilt gnawing away at her.

Joan tagging along with them wasn’t her fault- that blame was shifted onto Kitty and Maggie, who were never a good duo when they got together, when they insisted that the “gang had to stick together”- but she still felt bad when she saw the girl’s awful sunburn. It was funny at first, but then she noticed the permanent grimace plastered on her face and the way she stiffly played the piano like she had lit matches dug into her skin, and the situation became a lot more worrying.

It was clear Joan was on edge and uncomfortable- they all noticed that. They just didn’t think of doing anything. A sunburn wasn’t exactly something you could just pop some pain pills for- it took time to go away and let the skin heal itself of the blemish. So, the others just didn’t pay it any mind (even if it was tough not to gawk at Joan’s firetruck red complexion).

Anne tried to do the same. She told herself there was nothing she could do and she should just laugh about it with everyone else, and she was so close to settling fully into that state of mind.

But then Joan called a sudden break and left the room without a word, and Anne was yanked right out of that belief.

Something was very, very wrong.

Now, believe it or not, despite her (slightly aggravating) stage persona, she knew what boundaries and personal space were. And she knew when to not bother a female. There’s several cases of when you shouldn’t bother a woman: when she’s breastfeeding, when she’s on their period, when she’s pregnant, when she’s being cheated on- but especially when she’s in pain and it was making her aggressive.

It’s, in a weird sort of way, like the time she found a stray cat on her family’s property when she was younger. She had cornered the frightened little thing and it arched its spine and hissed at her to stay back, but she was desperate for a pet, so she grabbed for it anyway. Naturally, she got scratched and that night, as her mother was cleaning the cuts, she was told to never approach a scared, cornered animal. It made them more likely to lash out, but if you wait and let them know you weren’t a threat, then they may calm down. And Anne has used this advice since then, and she still uses it with the queens and ladies in waiting when something is wrong with one of them.

Except right now, though. Because Joan has been in the bathroom for half an hour, now, and absolutely no one was batting an eye. Anne knew the girl was more likely to die and turn into a skeleton before anyone decided they wanted to check on her, so she excused herself from the game of Statues that Maria had started and walked out.

Now, Anne has seen a lot of shocking things in her life: the actual proof of Aragon’s divorce, her first miscarried baby’s withered corpse, Henry’s penis....but the musical’s bright red music director hunched in the bathroom with blood on her shirt and face and hands might take the cake.

In the bright bathroom lights, Joan looked a lot worse than she did in the rehearsal room. She wasn’t just red- she was raw.

The easiest way to explain it is to imagine a human being that just got all its skin peeled off and then was stung by at least two hundred bees in very specific areas. Scarlet stained almost every inch of her body, aside from underneath her jaw, amazingly. The burn was lighter in some places and darker in others, but her shoulders and upper back were by far the worst. There, scarlet faded into rings of dark crimson and blotches of maroon, both of which are spotted with tiny red dots, as if someone had crushed up rubies and sprinkled the shards over her to make the menagerie of sunburnt flesh look less like an eyesore. Paper-thin, translucent strips of varying sizes are frayed around the edges of the bigger blemishes, revealing raw pink hiding underneath.

To put it simply, Joan looked like a scorpion without its exoskeleton.

“Joan!” Anne cried in shock and worry. She leaped towards the girl and immediately picked up on the heat coming off of her. It was like standing too close to an active volcano. “Are you alright?”

Joan looked up in surprise. She had just been swaying there with her hands running under the sink when Anne came in. Anne guessed she was cleaning the angry red patch on her cheek, which was still crusted with blood around the edges.

“I’m— I’m, uhh—”

Anne couldn’t even tell if she was blushing in embarrassment or not, but it didn’t matter. Flustered or not, Joan needed some help.

“Honey, you don’t look so good,” Anne said gently. She reached out to grab Joan’s forearms so she could steady her, but the natural warmth from her hands seemed to set fire to Joan’s arms and she jerked away with a soft hiss. “Sorry! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s fine,” Joan whispered. She didn’t snap at Anne as she had done to Kitty and Cleves. Perhaps she liked Anne more than them, or perhaps she was just in too much pain to be angry- Anne couldn’t really tell. “I’m sorry— Everyone is waiting for me, aren’t they?”

“Yeah,” Anne said. “But forget that right now, alright? You look like you’re about to keel over from heatstroke.”

Joan actually managed to laugh weakly, but it quickly broke off into a keen-like noise as pain flitted across her burnt facial features.

“What’s wrong?” Anne asked. “Aside from, you know,” She gestured vaguely.

“I— I don’t know.” Joan whispered. “I-I think I have a fever...”

“Are you sure you’re not just hot from-” She gestured vaguely once more, but this time with a lot more enunciation in her movements.

“N-no, Anne, I’m—” She’s starting to shiver. Joan was fucking shivering. She reached out a hand to lean against the sink counter. “I— I just-” She pressed a hand to her forehead, breathing shallowly.

Anne frowned in worry at the girl’s inability to explain how she felt to her. Whether it was from embarrassment or deliriousness thanks to the pain, she didn’t know, but she had to do something, so she stepped forward and carefully placed her hand on the back of Joan’s forehead.

As expected, it was burning hot. She wished she could have said that it felt a little warmer than a normal sunburn, confirming that Joan did have a fever, but she honestly couldn’t tell. So, she convinced Joan to help her find the thermometer kept in the theater first aid kit so she could take her temperature.

38.8. That was the temperature displayed on the thermometer and Anne worriedly glanced over it to the weary-looking girl sitting in front of her. When she was caught staring, Joan looked up at her with grey eyes and red sockets.

“38.8.” Anne said, showing her. “I think you may have sun poisoning, love.” Joan tensed and Anne quickly went on, “No, no! It’s okay! That means we know how to treat it!”

“W-we do?” Joan stammered nervously.

“Well. I do.” Anne said. “The things I need aren’t here, but I know we have aloe gel at the house. So we’ll get you fixed up in no time!”

Joan didn’t look too happy to have to go over to the queen’s house in her current state, but Anne managed to convince her to ditch rehearsals early so they would at least be alone for the majority of the treatment.

When they arrived, Anne had to point out the elephant in the room- the stained mess on Joan’s back. She had been putting off calling it out, but now they had to do something about it. And she knew Joan was going to hate every second of it.

“Alright, how much do you like this tank top?” Anne asked Joan, who was sitting on the toilet seat in the master bathroom (Jane’s bathroom. It was technically Jane’s bathroom, but Joan didn’t need to know that. They needed space, and it was big, so Anne could take the fit Jane would surely throw when she found out later). “Because if you can’t move your arms, I can cut it off.”

“I think I can get it off myself...” Joan said although she didn’t exactly trust herself to do that.

Still, she grabbed the hem of the tank top, pulled it over her head, and Anne watched in concern as the skin upon her upper back cracked, contracted, and split open in a way that made it seem like the girl was about to sprout wings. It made her own shoulder blades tingle in discomfort.

“Ow.” Joan whispered. She shoulders shudder, flesh-scales bristling and flaking.

“Okay,” Anne started, looking at the gooey scratch fanned open on Joan’s left shoulder blade. It looked like a tiny pool of creamy pus, which was just barely managing to not spill over the edges. “Yeah... You’re not gonna like this part, sweetheart. In fact, you may hate me after it’s over.”

“Why?” Joan squeaked fearfully, but then she watched as Anne pulled a bottle of disinfectant out from under the sink cabinet. Her face went as pale as it possibly could with the sunburn coating it like a second skin. “O-oh.”

“Yeah,” Anne smiled pitifully. She wets a small rag that she hopes Jane doesn’t use to clean her body with (mainly for Joan’s sake). “Ready?”

Joan white knuckles a towel she had grabbed for grounding and nodded shakily. She couldn’t even be embarrassed over being shirtless in front of Anne, as she was too worried over the pain she was about to face.

The cry Joan makes is heartbreaking. It felt as if burning claws were stabbing and stabbing and stabbing Anne’s heart the longer she had to hear it and the longer she had to be the cause of it. But it had to be done and, after a few moments of flushing out the scratch with disinfectant, she pulled the rag back. It’s now covered in a thin film of yellow-white pus and brown blood.

“Now your cheek,” Anne said. She wets the clean side of the rag and gently lifts Joan’s chin. The claws return to her heart when she stares into the girl’s glossy grey eyes. “Take a deep breath, honey.”

She gave Joan a moment, then pressed the rag to the blemish on her cheek. Joan keened sharply and instinctively shook her head, but Anne managed to hold it still enough to clean her face. She could feel hot tears slip down against her fingers and she finished as quickly as she could.

“There,” Anne said. “All done, sweetheart. I’m all done.” She delicately brushed away Joan’s tears. “Shh, shh... You’re okay. You’re okay, Joan...”

“Fuck you,” Joan hissed weakly.

“I deserve that.” Anne laughed slightly. “I’m going to go grab the aloe vera, alright? And a change of clothes for you. I’m sure Kitty’s will fit you.”

She’s gone for maybe five minutes and by the time she returns, the little blonde fireball she left sitting obediently on the toilet seat seemed to look even more miserable: she was hunched slightly, sunburnt flesh-scales bristling in a painful way along her shoulder blades and upper back. Her eyes are slightly glazed over, reminding Anne of the fever she had, and she was starting to shiver again. Anne just hoped it was because she was shirtless in a cold house.

“Hey, sweet girl,” Anne’s hand hovered comically over Joan’s sunburnt knee, then her sunburnt shoulder, then her sunburnt back, and then she decides to just pat her head. It makes Joan look up at her with a weak smile. It reminds Anne of a picture Cathy once sent her of a lamb grinning. “I brought some water if you’re thirsty.” She frowned when Joan shook her head. She watches the girl lean over to the sink counter and bury her head against her folded arms resting there. “Joan? What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing,” Joan whispered weakly. “Just a little nauseous.”

Oh dear.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Anne said, worry evident in her voice. “I also brought some ice. You gotta stay dehydrated, so do you think you could at least suck on a piece?”

Joan agrees and slips a chip of ice into her mouth. Before she can return her head to its burrow in her arms, Anne asks her to change into the shorts she brought in, so she sheds her itchy pants and gratefully swaps them for the airier bottoms.

“I’m going to put the gel on your back now, alright?” Anne said. “Then you can lay down in my room. How does that sound?”

Joan just nods weakly.

Anne gives her a warm smile, then dips her fingers into the bottle of aloe vera she had with her and gingerly smears it on Joan’s shoulders.

As gentle as she was, it seemed she just about poked Joan with a hot rod.

Joan yanked away with a yelp, nearly falling off of the toilet seat. Anne pulled back, meeting her eyes with a worried glance.

“Sorry. It hurts that much?”

“N-no, it—” It definitely hurt that much. Joan just didn’t want to admit it. “J-just warn me next time.”

“Okay.” Anne nodded. “Here goes.”

She put her hand to Joan’s shoulder again, much slower this time. Her fingers barely touch the girl before she’s curling in on herself like a distressed armadillo.

“Hey, sit still,” Anne said.

“I’m trying!” Joan takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, steeling herself best as she can. “Okay, okay. I’m- I’m ready.”

Still, she can’t help but flinch when the next stroke sears a prickling line across her back.

“I’m sorry,” Joan squeaked when Anne pulled back. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry-” She scrambled up to her feet. “I-I should just go. I didn’t mean to cause you so much trouble-”

“Hey, hey,” Anne tried to grab her forearms, but stopped herself from making contact. “You aren’t doing anything wrong. You’re in pain, Joan. You’re going to flinch.”

“B-but I’m annoying you,” Joan whispered. She lowered her gaze, but Anne slips a finger under her chin and lifts her chin.

“You’re not annoying me, honey.” Anne assured her. “I promise. I want to help you. So can you please sit back down?”

Joan nodded and sat back down. Anne didn’t miss the fresh glimmer in her eyes and she couldn’t help but feel so bad about how insecure and nervous the poor girl was.

“Ready, sweetheart? I’m going to start now.”

Joan’s muscles tensed up as soon as the touch came. The balm stings on her skin and in her nose- a sharp, airy scent of aloe. She bites down on her shredded, raw lip, trying hard to stop herself from whining, but a few pathetic sounds still escape her.

“One part done,” Anne said, her voice as soft as her fingers.

Joan just makes a noise through clenched teeth, pressing her face back into her folded arms. Anne’s touch is light, barely there over the biting of the salve. Every now and then, she stops to take more from the bottle, always muttering a quick warning before she continues. She’s going slow, steadily rubbing small circles all over Joan’s shoulder blades. The weird minty chill numbs the skin wherever her hands glide, to and fro, covering every inch.

“I’m almost done with this part, sweet girl,” Anne cooed. “You’re doing so good.”

Beneath her hands, Joan’s flesh was rough and bumpy. It was like rubbing lotion on the back of a horny toad lizard. It was so hot, too, like a piece of the sun was permanently burning inside of the poor girl. Luckily, the aloe vera seemed to soothe the cinders billowing about Joan’s body. The flames licking through her would flicker their way over to the cold, wet barrier and slow down, prodding the goop in a disgruntled manner. And then, they’re smothered by a glob of sharp-scented aloe, wisps and embers flying out in shock before they, too, are put out.

Anne moves to Joan’s legs next, then her arms, and then her neck and ears. Finally, she began to smear the gel onto Joan’s face, hearing her sigh softly in relief as she did so.

“All done,” Anne smiled. “I’m proud of you, sweetheart.”

Joan was definitely blushing- Anne could tell just by the way she hunched her shoulders around her neck and looked away shyly.

“Come on. Put this tank top on and then you can lay down. Or you can stay up. Wanna watch a movie?”

Joan nodded. She stood up and her nose wrinkled. She was basically wearing a full body suit of aloe vera.

“I feel slimy.” She said. “Like a snail.”

Anne laughed. Her heart melted at how adorable the girl before her was.

“You are too cute,” She said. “Come on. Put the shirt on.” She tossed a basic pink tank top to Joan, who quickly pulled it on. She saw the fabric cling to the aloe vera almost instantly and Joan’s nose wrinkled once again. “Yeah, it’s gonna do that.”

After quickly cleaning up, Anne led Joan to her bedroom. Joan was hesitant to get into the bed, but Anne assured her that a little aloe rubbing off on the sheets wasn’t going to bother her, so she clambered in after the queen. They end up deciding to watch The Princess and The Frog right as the front door opened and closed from downstairs and several voices filled the house.

Anne expected Joan to get nervous or say she should leave, but, instead, the girl just scoots a little closer to Anne, who leans away in fear of hurting her burns. Joan seems offended.

“It’s gonna hurt if I touch you.” Anne reminded her.

“I don’t care,” Joan grumbled. Her fever and exhaustion was making her adorably grumpy. “Please just hold me...”

Anne’s heart fluttered- she couldn’t say no to those eyes!

As expected, Joan hissed when Anne put her arms around her and pulled her close to her, but then she sighed softly and rested her head against the queen’s chest.

“Thank you,” Joan whispered. “For helping me. I didn’t think anyone...”

“It’s no problem, Joan.” Anne quickly cut off her nervous comment. “I care about you.”

“...I like being cared for.”

Anne glanced worriedly down at the top of the frizzy blonde head resting on her chest. She pulled Joan even closer and pressed a kiss to her hair.

“You deserve it, Joan.” She said. “You deserve care and so much more. Never forget that.”

“Stop it,” Joan whined weakly. “You’re gonna make me cry on you...”

“Cry, sweetheart. It’s alright.” Anne said. “It’s not going to change what I think.”

“Thank you,” Joan choked out through whimpers. “Thank you so much...”

“No need to thank me,” Anne said. “Besides. You have my robe. It’s official. You’re, like, mine, now.”

“Your what?” Joan looked up at Anne timidly.

Anne shrugged. “Niece? Goddaughter? Granddaughter? Robe stealer?” She kissed Joan’s forehead, making her smile shyly. “We’ll figure it out.”

“I like all of those options,” Joan whispered, tucking her head back under Anne’s chin. “But I...I want to be your-”

“Annie!!”

Anne’s bedroom door swung open and Joan lurched away from Anne. She sat up straight, still, staring at the TV as young Tiana goes running out of her bedroom after a frog croaks at her. She doesn’t want to see whatever expression Kitty has on her face.

“What’s up, Kit?” Anne said cooly.

“Oh, I was just wondering where you were,” Kitty said, then glanced at Joan skeptically. Her nose twitched a little, but she quickly turned back to her cousin. “Cathy is cooking tonight. She wants to know if you still want to learn how to make that really good soup she made?”

Anne saw Joan’s shoulders droop just slightly. She quickly makes up her mind.

“Maybe some other time,” She said. “Call me when it’s ready, alright?”

Kitty blinked. She glanced at Joan one more time.

“Alright.”

Then, she’s gone. Joan still doesn’t move, so Anne has to ease her back into her arms, now stroking her hair soothingly.

“I could have left,” Joan whispered.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Anne reprimanded. “I want you to stay right here with me.”

Where you belong.

Joan swallowed a lump of emotion rising in her throat and nodded. She nuzzled closer to Anne, not caring about how it agitated the burnt skin on her nose.

“Thank you,” She mumbled. “I-I...”

“Shh...” Anne soothed her. “It’s okay, sweet girl. No need to thank me or anything. Just relax, okay? If you’re tired, sleep. I’ll be right here.”

Joan felt heat bubble up inside of her, but this time she knew it wasn’t from the sunburn or the fever, rather the heat came from the giddy blush that glows a refreshing pink along her flesh-scales.

“I’m... I’m glad.”

#six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six fanfic #six fic #six fanfiction #anne boleyn #katherine howard #joan on the keys #anna of cleves #jane seymour #tw: blood #tw: pus #tw: body horror #nana boleyn #skin bone and scales

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kyu-bri · 4 years

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Magia Rapport pt 2

@magiarapport

August 24th prompt: What was your favorite event, and why? Is it because of gameplay or the story?

It’s hard to choose so I’m gonna just, gush a bit.

As you can probably tell I’m very biased toward the OG girls, I started Magia Record primarily because PMMM had become my new obsession and I wanted some sort of constant flow of content out of decade old anime lmao.

But another thing I think I hooked onto was Inu Curry’s writing. They really know Madoka Magica and aren’t afraid to really play with them- something the writers for a spin-off gacha game (as with most spin-off stories honestly) can be scared to do. Inu Curry made references, revealed secrets and built upon the story we already know- which lets be honest is what we always truly want from a spin-off series. Magia Record proper does this well by putting more magical girls into the world and letting us see things work out better for them than for the original cast, but what I really appreciated with this story was getting to see that old original cast get to get in on that, and these events managed to do that without watering them down any.

Under the cut is me going on for 3000 words about why I love these three events I’m so sorry. TL;DR at the very end-

I’ll go in release order,

A La Carte Valentine was one of the first if not THE first event I got in on. I was eager to bc 1 Gay Magical Girl Shit Guaranteed. And ofc 2 OG Cast participation.

I want to preface by saying I actually loved all the girls’ stories in this. I was very much still in a state of getting used to Iroha’s gang let alone trying to care about the secondary girls. I knew Tsukasa had this angsty Twins Separated At Birth Deal and liked seeing her home life (also I immediantly stanned Take. Regular well-meaning dude who has no idea whats going on just trying his best and hating his boss). I knew nothing about Ami except Cowgirl Meguca and getting the bulk of her personality in one short even I think really kept me from being absolutely sick of her, she’s just a cute silly teenage girl who could be in literally anything and I was able to just endearingly giggle at that. Hinano managed to do the heterosexual unrequited crush cliché without me groaning or missing any of her regular personality. Also was there a Ren part? I don’t remember because everything Ren does feels like a Soft Yuri Valentines Special. Also I love Momoko. Ok moving on to what I Really wanna talk about.

Madoka is genuinely my Least Cared About of the Holy Sextet. I don’t think she’s bad or even boring- Madoka has a depth to her character, like, really deep- but that’s not something ever really touched upon by the fandom. Even when people like her and make her the Heroine she’s Supposed to be, it’s usually in the context of “Girl who feels nothing but kindness and happy thoughts would cut off her right hand to feed to a hungry dog. Isn’t she so Good????”. And honestly, while I understand the point it was going to make, I wasn’t crazy about her sacrifice in the end of the series. (Team Homura “Rebellion Is Good Actually” ftw) All because I think that I’m an Adult Woman watching this like “You are 14yrs old and need to be home playing Sims and not sacrificing yourself for the greater good you stupid silly little baby girl”

So my point is here near all fan content I encounter tends to emphasize whats sort of my least favorite facet of Madoka. I don’t think she made the ‘wrong’ decision in the context she and the story were given, but it’s still a sad thing to show a depressed(!!!) insecure girl resolving to give away her very existence so that every other girl on earth has a chance to just Dream. Oh and they still usually die young. But that’s ok because then she takes them and lets them sleep peacefully forever in her Heaven Basement (Yes I am bitter stan Homura I would yank this savior complex infant girl out the sky too)

MY POINT BEING (The servers closing let me BLEED OUT ALL MY FEELINGS) This event did not do that!!! It made Madoka…….. EVERYTHING SHE SHOULD BE??? ALWAYS??? Showed her HOW WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO VIEW HER??? (Read: Happy and Alive and Confident at no foreboding or sacrifice of anyone else!!!!)

She is Sassy and Surrounded By Friends and Really Funny??? And we get this Ridiculous Oh My God On Crack metaphor about her being this all-powerful apocalypse bringing being which is representing her love for the universe through her Witch form of Wanting Everyone To Be Happy And Safe With Her??? And she still risks herself to save everyone as is her Thing to do but we get to have her do it without erasing her existence as a human being at the end and if that is not some GOOD SHIT????

Ok next:

NGL Sayaka’s (fav character, inarguable best girl, can u not tell) parts in MagiReco til like the last arc have always left me a bit disappointed. She was the only late comer of the OG girls from what I understand and it kind of gives her the air of what a lot of the second(/thirdary?) girls suffer from. You can tell the writers can’t even figure out a trope to apply her to to make her easy and two dimensional to write about so they just don’t know what to do. They definitely try to make up for it (especially in the anime which Praise Be but that’s probably Inu Currys doing) but she’s still lacking like, any of the depth of her personality. Which, I guess I could anticipate. Because most of the fandom tends to as well. (again)

Gonna stop complaining and get on with- That didn’t feel as much the case in her Valentine event. Sure it was still the same formula of “The Issue Is Kyosuke” but that didn’t play out as grueling as her personal story did with “Nine Episodes Of “The Issue Is Kyosuke””

There was one big glaring heart-aching detail of “Mami isn’t really there because SHES IN A FUCKING CULT RIGHT NOW” which kind of jarred the event out of the ho-hum silly valentines sidestory these events usually keep up.

Sayaka has this crisis about Doing Anything Meaningful With Kyosuke which we all know what That’s calling back to, but in this environment we get to have Kyoko come right up and be in a position with her to earnestly and affectionately Push Her To Do It. The lonely little tsundere bitch girl pushes her Not Friend to Give The Bastard The Gotdamn Chocolate Already and for a moment you can only think about What If’s and If Only’s. Sayaka’s is still the weakest of the threes stories in this event but it worked harder to show us different sides of the characters then 6 chapters of Another Story managed to do.

And then there’s fucking Homura.

I will be, eternally grateful for Kuro. As a character that becomes metaphorical for the 2D ways we initially viewed the feathers and just NPCs in games in general, and also like, giving Homura a friend she actually cares about that isn’t the tangled dark web of Bullshit she’s gotten tied up with Madoka in. Please ask me about all my AU’s where Kuro is Homuras first girlfriend.

Seeing Moemura in Magia Record has always been a bit surreal, we never really understand just what stage of Trauma this Homura is in because Multiverses Are Hell, but this event gives us a good chunk of a Homura who still has hope and faith both in the world and Madoka. Theres this wonder to her that while still bogged down by terrible experiences still has the energy to be Trying. And she sees a girl who used to be like her- which when you think about it is probably what Madoka saw in her- and she wants to help. Because Madoka helped her. And Madoka is the best thing in the universe and maybe Homura can be just a little bit closer to that.

Kuro is too far gone though, as is the reality frequently in this series, things don’t work out just because of circumstance. Kuro was a bullied, insecure little girl who realistically shouldn’t have had to become a rampaging monster because of it. We’re reminded of this being the reality of the Madoka universe. Homura, is reminded of this reality. Homura loses this one chance to bring hope into the world like Madoka brought hope into hers.

And then her story ties into the ending of Madoka’s. Madoka saves her life yet again, even as Homura continues to feel miserable and empty. But at least Madoka is with her. The girls then share a quiet, intimate Valentines together. And you sort of understand how Homura fell so far into the darkness that the only thing she was able to still care about and fight for was Madoka’s safety.

That shit slaps. It slaps you right in the heart and causes fucking bruising but then u want it to do it again because you’re masochistic and Meguca Is Suffering.

Anyway I hope Kuroe slaps our hearts more in season2

MOVING ON!!!!

~Nagisa’s Wish~

Ok, I don’t remember what got me so simp over Nagisa, I think it was the heart-aching irony that Mami adopts the witch that fucking ate her. But that is my baby now and I’d die for her. Fandom Charlotte whose pink and silly and loves her mom and is Mami’s cancer-riddled girlfriend is cool and all but she isn’t a tiny Halloweeny baby whose fucking bitter angry and manically obsessed with cheese due to PTSD.

I had saw a summary of Nagisa’s Wish reposted just to quickly explain Nagisa’s backstory, and as such immediately had to search out if that crazy ride was true- so I actually watched this whole event probably before I downloaded the game. It was surreal on its own but replaying it when it came to NA didn’t lessen it any- I got to process more of what I was witnessing and as result stanned Yu pretty hard.

I guess to explain my Emotions here, saving Yu for later- calls for me to just, describe who Nagisa is as a human being and my headcanons surrounding it all with what this event gave us. Whether you consider it canon or not it’s one version of events that we were given and that I am all for accepting.

Nagisa’s Mom was a celebrity, she could have been an actress though I also like the idea of her being an Idol. She met Nagisa’s Dad oh-so romantically and got knocked up- they very well could have been married but it doesn’t seem clear enough. He seems to have left too suddenly for legal matters like that. Nagisa is approximately 11, and while she seems to remember her Father, she doesn’t in the sense of having had a relationship with him or any feelings. Her Mother has to “explain” why he left, so Nagisa was probably still young even if not a baby. What I’m getting at here is the timeline for when Nagisa’s Mom Got Like That. Nagisa can remember her from before she was, and then says that she got sick after her Dad left. So what I’m wondering is did Daddy Momoe ruin this young rich girls life, give her syphilis and then leave her with a baby she was unfit to care for in poverty? I know half of this is running on anime logic but Holy Shit all the possible ways reasons and ideas for why things could’ve gotten This Bad.

Is it ridiculously dark and edgy that the original story we were given was “Girl wishes her dying mother could have her favorite cake but then realizes OOPSIE-DAISY I could have wished for her to Not Die instead!!!!” got turned into “11yr old hates her abusive mother so much she wants to make her suffer in the most symbolic way she can and then goes mental when she isn’t able to do it”??? Yes. But if I had the mental capacity to I have to admit I was in a position to be just as bitter at that age too. I can’t call it unrealistic. I may infact be projecting hard with how much I support and enjoy this backstory.

Anyway Nagisa was in such a state of trauma and distress at a horrifically young age when she died that it broke her mental faculties so severely that even when she came back as a literal Angel of God she had blocked it out so deeply and thoroughly she seemingly regressed to an even younger capacity and hyperfixated on the trait that she has before used to try to bond with her Mother who she had died hating.

And that also slaps u right in the heart.

A N D T H E N !

~Beachside Bonds~

Just the simple structure of this story was so enjoyable and nicely done. We finally get to see the OG girls in a context we wouldn’t be able to in literally any other scenario. They’re going on a summer vacation together and Homura is sentimentally journaling every single second of it. Is this mayhaps because she’s never gotten to be this happy and blissful with these girls she loves so much??? Of course this is are you not paying attention what the fuck. Homura is so optimistic and healed and hopeful she’s acting like what she might actually be doing as a normal teenage girl. (A heartrending contrast to the end of her Valentines Special)

We get nothing short of pure fluffy Slice Of Life shenanigans on the beach which even includes a bunch of the Kamihama girls that the OG crew knows! And they talk about it! And introduce eachother! And their friends commentate on it! Ren gets to see Kyoko Not Being A Bitch and then Sayaka teases her about having made friends and oh my god my heart is turning into cottoncandy as we speak Mom holy FUCK

Sayaka’s existence fucking matters in this story! It’s her families Hotel they’re staying at and she has relationships and memories with the creepy twins that live there and she talks like a fucking person??? And gives opinions??? That aren’t just copypasted “Justice is Good and Bad things are BAD!!!!”

Mami is fresh out of her fucking Cult Drama and she’s still trying to be cool Senpai but then she DECKS Homura in the face and gets scared by the ghost stories and then turns into pudding and waxes nostalgia at Kyoko out of nowhere IT’S ALMOST LIKE SHE’S A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL????????

G H O S T S ? ? ? ?

Y U ! ? ! ? ! ? !

(IS G A Y ! ! ! !)

This whole fucking backstory and truly horrifying Romeo and Juliet on Acid love and death story between Yu and her girlfriend and like if I wasn’t fascinated enough by Yu just being the creepy organ harvester before but apparently thats what she became after she literally made some sort of wish that erased all of her memories besides the nickname her sweetheart used for her and coincidentally also added to her the task of killing all Bad People?????

Yu made a wish to be able to get rid of All Bad People preserving the innocent version of herself who grew up with this girl and it was right after a failed double suicide attempt on fucking Doomed Lovers Cliff fucking Lifetime Will You Ever.

It then pairs with Homura whose PTSD gets to shine through a bit in being unable to believe any bad sort of Madoka which how could you try to force her to at this point while Also pairing Homura with Ren in the “Gay Love Saved Our Lives: Traumatized vers & Vanilla vers”

I don’t remember if there was a symbolic finale and tbh I have forgotten a lot of the details with Yu and her girlfriend Whatsherface because that shit was just so shocking and bizarre to read and much too painful to reread in a timely fashion just.

That shit hurted but it was full of so much love and hope both doomed and stolen but still was wrapped up in the comforting concept that This Is The Universe Where Homura Gets To Be Okay This Time.

She’s still scarred beyond comprehension and this ghost drama accentuated it all but at the end of the day this is still the Safe Universe where all of them are alive and the Holy Quintet are friends and they’re all going to be okay (Godoka & Aniplex willing) and so many of us love Madoka Magica because it shows girls fighting through the same pain we’ve been through and keeping their hope alive and here we get to see them actually find peace in a clunkily written fanservicey spin-off mobile gacha game and hey, that made me happy while I got to experience it. Thanks for the ideas and memories and tragic backstories and funny thirdary characters MagiReco I’m gonna take em all and Run.

Akjsladbfalkjfsbslk If you read this all without getting a migraine or blocking me ily thanks for listening!!!!!!

TL;DR

Me likey A La Carte Valentine bc it’s silly and gay and I simp Kuro

Me likey Nagisa’s Wish bc sawft baby is good and so are Tragic Edgy Backstories

Me likey Beachside Bonds bc Gay Ghosts and Our Girls Finally Get To Be Happy Peaceful(ish) Teenage Girls and that’s all I want for them ;w;

Reeses In Pieces ya’ll

1Ten 2More 3Words 4To 5Hit 6(3000 7Words 8Woo 9Boy 10Howdy

#magia rapport #magia record #pmmm

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scrunchie-face · 4 years

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My ranking of TS8 based on absolutely nothing but my personal opinion

From least to most favorite:

peace: this is the only song on the album i really don’t like. her accent/cadence sounds a little affected to me and there aren’t any lyrics or musical moments that really resonate.

invisible string: i feel like i might get some pushback on this since so many people seemed to LOVE this one but hear me out. This one is clearly about Joe and their relationship and for me, there is not a single song about him that she has written that has been as good as “Call It What You Want” and “New Year’s Day.” Every other song she has written since then about being happily in a relationship with Joe has fallen flat for me. Also, I’m not gonna lie, the more cynical and less romantic side of me finds the whole concept of the “invisible string” to be a bit trite and saccharine. “Isn’t it just so pretty?” To me, yes, it is a pretty thought and that’s all it is.

mirrorball: this song is pretty, and reminds me very strongly of the Speak Now era, but with the complexity and maturity that she’s obviously acquired since then. That being said, to me the metaphor feels like it’s trying to go in two different directions at once and neither one quite gets there, leaving a song that feels somewhat unfinished. It’s either a very pretty love song or a darker reflection on identity, but it never feels like it commits to either.

august: this is where we really start to get into “there’s nothing really wrong with it, I just like other tracks better” territory. Lyrically, I think it’s very poignant, with its reflections on love, time, and memory. Unfortunately, I think the whole “Teenage Love Triangle” hint actually does this song a disservice by indicating that the speaker is the “other woman.” Since the bent of the other two songs (”cardigan” and “betty”) seems to indicate that those two singers/speakers are the couple that is “meant to be” it gives the poor unnamed “august” singer a bit of an uphill battle for sympathy in context. That’s not to say I don’t have any sympathy for her; I have by far the least sympathy for James. Unfortunately, James gets a catchier song (more on that when i get to “betty”). Which brings me to the real reason for this low-ish ranking: I just don’t find the song as musically compelling as most of the others on the album.

this is me trying: as I suggested in the previous paragraph, a lot of the way I rank songs personally is by how much the music resonates with me. I can forgive a lot lyrically if the way the music moves gives me goosebumps. With “this is me trying,” there are several lyrics that I love. The repeated “I have a lot of regrets about that”? PERFECTION. Musically, however, the song as a whole doesn’t really impress itself upon me, making all but the couple lyrics I really love forgettable to me.

mad woman: this song, and the two on either side of it, were ranked somewhat arbitrarily. higher than “this is me trying” for having a little more edge and a more engaging tune, lower than “hoax” because I generally prefer sadness and angst to anger. This is by far the most vindictive track on the album, and while I understand it and think it’s executed very well, the tone isn’t totally appealing to me personally.

hoax: this song, to me, has a very strong Hozier vibe that I enjoy very much. As i said in my blurb about “mad woman” I connect more emotionally with the sadness and turmoil here, hence its higher ranking. “stood on the cliffside screaming ‘give me a reason’“?! Gorgeous, and if you’ve ever felt that way, the line resonates in your bones. “the only hoax I believe in” is such a complex line that I could probably write paragraphs about it; it’s got psychological, emotional, and even religious elements to it that I think are part of what makes such a sad and personal song still feel universally relatable. It asks you, what are your hoaxes? Which ones do you believe? Is it because you want to? Because you have to? betty: ranking this song was difficult, because i find the character of James to be incredibly irritating. Unfortunately, the questionable nature of James’ behavior and attitude towards Betty and the unnamed girl is not enough to condemn the song to a lower ranking because the tune is just so catchy and fun. It’s got one of the best hooks on the album: the rhyming of “Inez” and “she says” just delights me every time. The “--most times--” caveat is amusing and very in character for a teenager trying to explain himself. And then “the worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you.” It sounds super trite, yes, but it would’ve probably gotten my forgiveness when I was seventeen. Also I love “will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?” Bold words for someone in James’ position but I love the bravado and the way it pairs with the music. The triumph here may be premature but it’s SUPER contagious. epiphany: so this one is perhaps the most arbitrarily placed because I realized when I got the the end of my list that I had forgotten it.... BUT that being said, I really like this song. It seems to be one of the more divisive on the album; people either love it or think it’s boring. I like it a lot. When we talk about big events--wars, pandemics--it’s very easy to distance ourselves from them and forget that those more affected than we are are people too. This song gently rehumanizes the people we see in books and newspapers and tv reports, reminding us that they are suffering, they are trying, and reminding them that they are seen and loved. It’s extremely beautiful and moving.

the 1: based on my previous claims that the music is my most important factor in song ranking, this one may seem unfairly high. Like with “peace” I find the accent/modulation of her voice in this song to be somewhat affected and irritating. The tune, while fun and catchy, doesn’t really have much power behind it. But I enjoy it just enough that, paired with some absolutely spot-on lyrics, this becomes a song I was deeply attached to from the first listen. Anyone who has ever had an important relationship that came to nothing will recognize the brief emotional rollercoaster of “I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn’t though,” and feel absolutely convicted by the bridge. “persist and resist the temptation to ask you/ if one thing had been different/ would everything be different today?” If you’ve lost a friend or a lover, you’ve tormented yourself with that question, I guarantee it. Even off her musical A-game, she absolutely nails the emotions here, and I love it.

my tears ricochet: this song actually started out pretty close to the bottom and slowly made its way up. Honestly, the reason for its low ranking was that I still can’t quite figure out what it means. Taylor occasionally writes songs that are very hard to tease out into any sort of linear narrative or neat metaphor; you feel them more than you understand them. And for that reason it usually takes me a little more time to get to a point where I appreciate them. The relationship here is tangled; it’s not the simple bad guy/good girl that we would’ve seen in the Speak Now era, and I would argue that at times it’s unclear which party is even the speaker. Once my analytical mind got past that hurdle, I remembered that this is one of the most musically powerful songs on the album. The bridge? GOOSE.BUMPS. The way the music builds and pounds at “just not home... in your bones.” Shivers. Even if I don’t totally understand what the song means, i can feel the conviction and emotion in the words and music and that is what makes it such a pleasure to listen to.

cardigan: this song is simply beautiful. just lovely. sad and nostalgic and hopeful and it just hits on some stuff that is absolutely true. “when you are young they assume you know nothing./ But I knew you.” I recently had a conversation with my husband about this very concept. This idea that adults look down on young people simply because they don’t have “perspective.” But the truth is that young people know something very important: what it is like to be young and to experience things AS A YOUNG PERSON. Not as an adult looking back on being young, but as a person to whom these experiences are fresh and real and important. “cardigan” takes that whole concept: the struggle between youthful experience and adult perspective, and absolutely NAILS IT. Add in a touch of the sentiments from “the 1″: “i knew you’d haunt all of my what ifs.... i knew i’d curse you for the longest time,” and combine it with a melody that rises and falls and slows down and speeds up and you just have this gorgeous tribute to youth and life and love.

illicit affairs: i love this song so so much. I’ve never been in an “illicit affair,” but the regret and the confusion and the attachment and the love and the hate and the feeling of being trapped are all so raw and visceral that even if you’ve never felt anything like this before in your life you can feel it now. Underneath the fairly simple melody of “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby,” you can hear the screaming anger and heartbreak. “look at this idiotic fool that you made me!” Gah. I can’t even. It’s just so real. So there. This is a song that you both understand AND feel and it’s so powerful it’s almost overwhelming. Taylor and her killer bridges absolutely ending me every time.

the last great american dynasty: this song is so fun. The story is funny and sad except the indomitable Rebecca doesn’t for a moment let you feel sorry for her. As soon as you see her pacing the rocks looking out over the ocean--a wistful, often angst-ridden position--the song turns right around and informs you that she stole a neighbor’s dog and dyed it green. And then, “and then it was bought by me.” The story has been so definitively about someone ELSE this time until suddenly SURPRISE! The twist at the end is delightful; every story we tell, every story we love, we tell it and love it because it’s about us too. And like i said, there is a quiet undercurrent of sadness and loneliness that never becomes the focal point of the song but is there giving it depth and something more to think about that facts and funny anecdotes. This song is a unique one in Taylor’s discography, and it stands up very well to that status.

exile: is my love for this song partially colored by the fact that Justin Vernon’s voice makes me swoon? Probably. The duet between him and Taylor is hair-raisingly beautiful and heartachingly melancholy. But that aside, I think the thing that first caught my attention was Taylor’s verse. The “staring honey/understudy/knuckles bloody” rhyme drives me absolutely WILD. It’s SO GOOD. It flows perfectly and poetically and honestly i transcend my body and scream with delight into the ether at those three lines every time. That is not an exaggeration. Also, “I’m not your problem anymore, so who am I offending now?” And of course the juxtaposition between “never gave a warning sign (i gave so many signs)” is this perfect description of how, to quote another, much older, lyric “miscommunication leads to fallout.” This song reminds me very much of “Story of Us.” In case you couldn’t tell from previous comments, this whole album, for me, recalls Speak Now, very strongly in many ways. I see her revisiting a lot of similar themes and stories with a more mature perspective and a different sound. Red as well, actually, but I digress.

seven: i knew from very early on that this would be my favorite song on the album. Taylor’s voice goes places I have NEVER heard before, evoking something elemental and primal. “Before I learned civility/ I used to scream ferociously/ any time I wanted.” Her forays into actual childhood in her songwriting are periodic but relatively rare, and this is unquestionably the best of the lot. Here we see children, almost too young to remember exactly what happened, but marked forever by their experiences of nature and relationships. “I can’t recall your face/ I’ve still got love for you.” This song evokes all the things that dance around the edge of your memory: faces from long ago, the feeling of flying, the fear of falling, the irresistible impulse to plant yourself on the ground and fling your existence out into the world with your voice. The need to feel safe. The references to a friend’s troubled home life are oblique: “your dad is always mad... you won’t have to cry or hide in the closet,” and the solutions are childlike: “come live with me...and be pirates,” “move to India forever.” The song is an immersive experience, charged with feelings you can’t quite express, but that you know and remember, although they are perhaps faded a bit around the edges.

#taylor swift #folklore #ts8 #phew that was way more than i intended it to be #glad i did it tho

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jaypelt · 4 years

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Cheers for Five Years of Undertale, and its Everlasting Effect on Me

Been a while since I’ve done one of these... I might even be rusty at it! Honestly, what I’ve got right now are more vague thoughts than coherent words in my head. I wasn’t sure if I’d even do this, since I felt it wasn’t entirely necessary. Everybody had so much to say! But spurned on by the display of someone very close to me, the cogs in my head couldn’t help but start turning for me too. So here I am. This isn’t going to be easy, though. Because if you read this, I need you to understand the depth of my feelings. Even if just a little. So I’ll do my best to bare my heart yet again, for the sake of it and everything its done for me. Everything it’ll keep doing for me.

The beginning is usually always one of the hardest parts. A blank space devoid of anything, that you’ve got to somehow miraculously fill with thoughts somebody else could understand. But Undertale is rarely a subject I ever have to struggle so much with. It’s been a long, long five years.

This is re-treading old ground that a number of those who know me are already familiar with, however, I don’t think this would be complete without it. But it will get very, VERY personal. If you’re not comfortable with that, then uh... giving you another warning now. But pushing forward...

Right before UT came out, I hadn’t begun to really unravel quite yet. But I was very close. It was somewhat of a rough transitional period as I moved on from my middle school to high, losing very dear IRL friends and generally continuing to struggle with school, as I had been for years. Untreated ADHD is real nasty. But I’d always had at least some friends, either online, or ones I made throughout the year, to rely on. And I didn’t really think about things. The start of this school year was no different. Even having a... perhaps questionable choice of boyfriend, but, well, he was my first.

I struggled with just about every aspect of school from basically the start, but having a small group, and especially an online partner to come home to everyday, helped me at least get through. In the coming months, however, I’d start to encounter more turbulence. Through aforementioned partner, I met someone who’d come to rely on me far more than he should have. Made even worse by the fact that he was a full grown adult while I was only 14, which will be a recurring trend. And has been for most of my life.

We hit it off pretty quickly, becoming good friends and talking to each other outside of mutual friend spaces. And through that, he started to open up about his problems. Living with a family that treated him poorly, suicidal urges, and particularly, an abusive boyfriend. If you know me well, I’ve probably definitely talked about this at least a little.

My daily routine starting becoming supporting this person through all of his troubles. Sitting in skype calls or exchanging messages for hours at a time on the daily. Rarely did a day go by where I didn’t, slowly sinking into an apathetic pit from overextending myself for the sake of his mental health. I couldn’t even help him improve, all I could do was just try to keep him alive. Which, well, I did. For months.

Everything else fell to the wayside as I was constantly stressed about the life of someone I cared about. Obviously my school life suffered even further. I grew withdrawn from everyone, and kept only to the few online friends I had. However, in the midst of this downward spiral, just before the ball really got rolling, a certain game came out. Exactly a month after it had come out, October 15th, 2015, I’d become interested after all the talk on tumblr about Undertale.

After watching a playthrough on youtube(I didn’t play for myself at first, a pity), It’d personally resonated so strongly and gotten me so hooked that it was something I invested a fair amount of my time into consuming content about. I grew super attached to all these characters that’d made me laugh, smile, cry... just this whole spectrum of emotions. And someone in particular, Alphys, really caught my attention after things had begun to get worse.

She felt so... relatable, though I couldn’t possibly tell you all the reasons. When I think about it, we’re not really the most similar, but something about her just hooked me. Maybe because she had all these things going on that nobody knew about. And that she lied. And felt so anxious interacting with anyone after she’d previously been much warmer and closer. That she was closer to “disappearing” than she seemed.

Whatever the reasons, the months moving further along, consuming content about UT practically became my lifeline. I reblogged heaps and heaps of posts about it, watched videos, listened to the soundtrack, even started drawing because I’d been so inspired. When I was just stuck in this horrible pit of second-hand depression, it was the one thing that still made me happy. I started to really think about why it mattered to me and how. It’s funny, I’d read books obsessively for years before then, but UT was the thing that really got me thinking. It was all downhill from there, I tell you. Now I’m an artist and a writer. Horrific.

But, unfortunately, for all its good... it couldn’t stop what was to come. I was still getting worse and worse, with no end in sight. I’d already been supporting... let’s call him Phil, for a few months. And in December of that year, my boyfriend completely dropped off the grid for a while. I’d see him appear online sometimes and I’d message him, but no response, then right back to offline. Finally, he came back, approaching me with something he obviously was uncomfortable about.

To make a long story short, he’d come to the conclusion that he was straight, and decided to end the relationship. What’s bad is that... honestly? I was already doing so poorly that I had a hard time caring. But we did pretty much stop talking, and I leaned into Undertale all the more. Anyway, time continued to pass. Not without its few ups, and mostly downs. I got used to being called “mature”, usually followed by “especially for your age.” “Phil” told me that if I were legal, he’d date me. I’ve got a crippling fear of screwing up with people that’s stuck with me to this day, after a few occasions involving him. I considered doing some... not so great things to myself. Thankfully, I was always so averse to physical pain that it didn’t become anything extreme.

As for the few ups, there was “Phil” finally managing to leave his abusive relationship, when he’d tried previously and fallen into such a bad depressive episode I had to talk him down. So that was something. He’d even started going to therapy after the second break up.

Not that it did a whole lot. The school year began approaching its end and nothing had really changed. I’d been going through all the same motions for around half a year or more. My sleep was terrible, I was passing almost none of my classes, had practically no friends to speak of, and just felt... tired. All the time. But during this... the minute beginning of a monumental shift started. Another character in UT had begun to clutch me in his grasp. Even more strongly than Alphys. Flowey. Through the posts a singular person on tumblr had made about him and my experience with the geno run, I came to understand the dumb little flower more. Which is also funny, because he was previously my least favorite. Even, yes, after the Asriel reveal.

I’m having a difficult time weaving together this convoluted timeline of events, but it was around... perhaps March or early April that the person whom I’d been supporting for almost a full fucking year completely disappeared. Without a word. The one thing I’d tried to stick to for so long was just. Gone. So I drifted about with, well, no purpose.

By the end of the school year, it probably goes without saying that I was... not doing great. But one those aforementioned acquaintances I’d only just started to become actual friends with came forth to me with a question. That being if there was some way for us to keep contact during the summer. So I gave her my email, which would turn out to be a decision that saved my life. Because things would only get worse before they got better.

This is getting to be way, way, way too long. So to summarize, summertime came around and I’d been in pretty close contact with... I’ll just call her V. She was... well, unlike anyone I’d ever known. Someone who stood out with the intelligence you could just see in their eyes. Outgoing, charismatic, compassionate... all those sorts of things. We were opposites in a lot of ways. Or, at least, it felt like it.

Some things happened, like “Phil” coming back after months of nothing. Me immediately slotting back into my role of being a pillar of support, but then screwing up and hating myself for it. But honestly, that ain’t shit to the rest of the whole shitshow.

For a bit of context, my parents are divorced. So for most of the previous years, I’d been going to my mom’s place during the summer and staying with her the whole time, to make up for how rarely we’d see each other otherwise. That year... she was beginning to run low on money. She lived next to my granny, but still basically alone, compared to how she’d been staying with someone else in hotels for the few prior years.

After learning she didn’t have enough to pay rent and might be kicked out, she tried to appeal to her mom, who said she wouldn’t let her stay. Why? I don’t know. After that, she spiraled into a panic. And, well, the ever faithful little worker bee, I stepped forward to try and console her in any way I could. She seemed to recompose, at least a little. It wasn’t great, and she thought she’d have to do some unsavory things in order to survive, but... I thought that, just maybe, I’d done something.

But... later that night, she started drinking. Which... well, put her in a mood. Exacerbated by the day’s earlier events and the fact that she was taking medication that responded poorly to alcohol. She came over to where I was sitting, my little makeshift desk I’d put together to set up my desktop, with my little sister just in the other room. Just... a warning for this next part, it’s... grim. More grim than anything else in this thread.

She proceeded to tell me she was going to go upstairs and grab the gun my granny kept in her room. And berated me for thinking I’d done anything to help, saying she “wasn’t like my little friends” that I could simply talk to. With that, she walked away, heading upstairs. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so crushed in my entire life, to this day. I broke down crying, sitting in that chair.

Yet, somehow, I managed to stop when I saw her coming back down. She walked back over, pointed the gun at her head, and told me to give her a reason she shouldn’t do it. And also to this day, I.... still don’t know if I said what was right. It was all I could think of. I quietly told her that if she did it, I’d pick that gun up and do it to myself. Same as her. And I asked if she wanted to be responsible for that.

It was true, too. By that point, I didn’t care anymore.

And if there’s one thing I can say about her, it’s that she’s always cared about me. In a horrible, twisted way especially, that night. It was enough to make her silently pull the gun down, go back upstairs, and put it away. One last time... she came down, walked past me to the front door and simply said “I love you.” before going out to sit on the porch.

I’m not sure I’ll ever truly get over the events of that night. I spoke to V afterwards, as I’d been keeping in regular contact, as I said. And even been speaking to her throughout the day about what was happening. I think she was panicking just as much as I had been, and told me to go find the gun and unload it. So I did. Bawling my eyes out the whole damn time. Afterwards, I took the bullets and threw them in the large neighborhood garbage can.

The rest of the night’s a blur. I don’t recall if anything else happened, I just remember waking up tired the next day. My uncle was in the house, as he’d been staying with my granny for a while, but hadn’t been around the night before. I tried to talk to him, but.. couldn’t bring myself to open up. Even though we were pretty close. I went back to my dad’s.

That wasn’t the end of it, either. For the next coming months, I’d get drunken calls and live in fear of being put right back in the same situation. It got so bad that I stopped answering my phone altogether. I broke contact with my mom entirely. I still hate answering or making calls.

Anyway, a few other things happened in the summer, like my applying for online courses. And the subsequent ridicule from my dad’s side of the family for the decision. Tell you what, the stress of taking a test to try and join that online program, then going to golden corral and having to struggle to not cry in front of everyone there was... not the ideal way to spend a birthday. Happy 15 years to me.

So.... that was that. I still went through with online courses and everything kind of... slowed to a crawl. I tried to do school work, but depression and still yet untreated ADHD prevented me from making any substantial progress beyond a few finished classes. For a while I simply... existed in a limbo. All I did was get up, get on my computer, maybe talk to a few people, and play Overwatch. Maybe look at tumblr, as I remained into Undertale. V and I lost contact after school started back up. I never blamed her for it. In fact, I preferred it that way. She didn’t deserve to have such a burden placed on her, and I still... feel guilty for leaning on her so much.

But I’m very thankful. I hope she’s out there living a good life, wherever she is.

And this! Is where we finally get to the not depressing parts! And only... what, 29 paragraphs in? Sheesh... I know I wanted to really illustrate just how shit things were to demonstrate just how much UT did for me, but this is taking it a bit far, isn’t it? Ah well... already made it this far. In for a penny, in for a pound. If you’ve made it this far, congratulations! I’m sorry. Truly. And I love you so very dearly.

Time went by and I kept doing my thing. Playing Overwatch(a practically self-destructive behavior deserving a therapy, frankly), talking to the few friends I had that I kept at an arm’s length, that sort of stuff. “Phil” and I no longer talked, thank goodness. Obviously I was depressed as all hell, not bothering to shower, eat, clean up, or do laundry for days on end. I spent more time asleep than I did awake, on most days. Did I say this was where the not depressing part was? I may have lied a little.

Blah blah “more months go by”, you know the drill. Until... I believe, November of 2016. After cementing my love of Flowey ever deeper, I’d started to follow more blogs putting out content for him on tumblr. In particular, the most important ones being I’lltrytobegood, Flowey-Answers, and later happyflowey and Corruptedflora.

It all started with a stream. I joined an art stream of LLA(Lovelyladyartist) on picarto as he worked on ITTBG. I kept quiet for the first few streams I joined, being too anxious to really out myself in any capacity. But little by little, I was coerced out of my shell. Particularly by one SilverKhaos, who I think at the time went by SilverSlayer or something. Anyway, he got me talking. And through that, I started making friends, bit by bit.

Also through the stream, I was introduced to CC(CuteCatDoodles) of Flowey-Answers. I obsessively read through the entire blog in a single sitting, just... having such a good time with it. And... strangely enough, it... got me feeling oddly better. Like I’d finally started to breath after not being able to for what felt like such a long time. If just a little. The next day, I got out of bed early, cleaned up, took out some garbage, and made breakfast. Just a simple plate of scrambled eggs. A simple, easy morning for most any average person. But for me? It was one of the most special mornings I’ve ever had.

Likewise, I did the same with Ding’s happyflowey, of reading through all of it in a single night. My head hurt like a motherfucker, but I tell you, it was worth it. The effect perhaps not as profound, but still very meaningful to me, as well as sowing the seeds of yet more relationships to form. If far off in the future, as far as this timeline is concerned. I still adore all of those dumb, charming little flowers so much. Mania would come to inspire my first ever OC, in fact. Thinking about that blog makes me miss when the UT fandom was more active here, even though I never participated in the fandom at large. But I’m grateful for the memories and incredible amounts of enjoyment getting to read it all brought me. I have way too many cropped images of Hysteria.

I wasn’t immediately better, but it was all the start of something new. I kept up with the streams, also joining in for CC’s. For hours upon hours a day, I’d just hop into them and spend the day talking away. I had something to really look forward upon waking up, starting to adjust my schedule so that I at least didn’t miss TOO much. I was able to really make friends, it felt like. Even though I wasn’t and still am not the most socially adept.

And as luck would have it, because picarto chat was and probably still is pretty unstable to this day, it just happened to go down and that led to... the creation of the discord server! It started off small, but steadily got more and more joiners from the growing population of the streams. LovelyLadyArtist, CuteCatDoodles, BrySkye, Flowers-Without-Pots, SilverSlayer, KRS, Donut, Mr.Quarter, Dragoler, Stilla, Chara, RotmModdy, Rowdy, Dunal, and probably at least a few others I’m forgetting... all names I encountered there and most of which I still see daily.

Through that server, we started keeping up even when there wasn’t any stream going on. Just goofing off and having a good ‘ol time. Already I was... well, doing a helluva lot better than I had before. All because of the gathering of a small community surrounding this indie gem. And even further centered in a niche specifically about Flowey! Who, and I’d forgotten to mention this before, I’d found a surprising amount to relate in. He’d become a big, BIG hyperfocus. Which is why I’d met everyone at all. Truly, it’s crazy to think how possible it is for me to have never come down this path.

From there on, I continued to meet new people, established new relationships. I even got invited to an RP server, creatively named “Flower RP” :p. At first I was hesitant, perhaps not even initially 100% interested. But as people really got into it, I felt an incredibly strong Fear of Missing Out. Leading to the creation of a character still near and dear to my heart.... Zorch. The result of contributions from many friends, from design ideas, to character concepts, and even his name(thanks for that, Rowdy). And... I began to write. It wasn’t great at first. very short form, and I didn’t know how to approach the roleplaying mindset, or even how to properly characterize him.

But over time... I got better. I became more confident. I really got into the nitty-gritty of character writing and discussion. I joined in on hours long discussions about the characters, lore, and narrative of Undertale. I’d wake up just to be there as soon as chat began to move, all the way to the point where everyone was finally asleep. I started to be able to help people again. For months, participating in this RP, in this chat, in this community was what I lived for. The joy that I felt in being among friends all working towards and talking about a common goal and interest is, well, honestly still somewhat unrivaled.

Paci, Pots, Neue, Castor, Silver, Nightmare, Rowdy. Me. All of us joined together in mutual love for a game, spurred on to feverishly create our own content about it. I kept up for months on end, living by the mostly same routine for probably the longest I’ve ever stuck to anything. Eventually... things happened and the server’s gone quiet. We had problems with management, people feeling excluded, targeted, etc etc. It was a very... consequence heavy RP, most of us were almost complete newbies to the roleplaying game, and many came to care rather deeply about the ongoings of it. Perhaps too much. But, well... I’m not sure it could have been prevented.

Sometimes, I still wish I could go back to that point of my life. I know someone else who does too. Even more than me. But I know not to try and emulate the past, as alluring as it may seem. So I push forward. Leading to yet another server with its own events. Clement, myself, Rowdy, Zielo, Neue, Moddy, Vee, Mini, Nappy, Tia, Silver. Some familiar names, some new. All still with the foundation of Undertale, but it quickly became a thing for us to just... chill and talk about anything. There was real love in that place. It was at this time that I even started going to therapy! After some struggling with the family. It helped a lot.

In time, that server, too, went under. For reasons that have long since been buried and forgiven. It no longer exists, after being deleted entirely, but I’ll always remember it. And we did eventually all(mostly) gather back together someplace new, which is still being talked in. Even gaining some new additions recently! If any of you guys are catching this one, I love you!

And we come to the final and most recent group. One I wasn’t actually a founding member of, instead being a late joiner. Comparatively smaller than all the ones before, but filled with just as much love. Pip, Ding, Kink, and Cola. Remember when I mentioned happyflowey sowing seeds, and then didn’t even expound in further detail about corruptedflora? Well congratulations, you’ve reached the payoff.

It all started after I began interacting with the mun of CF, Kinko, and became mutuals with them. We usually just spam reblogged from each other on occasion for a while. That is, until I got messaged, then sent a friend request through Discord. Which, even still, didn’t immediately go anywhere. But eventually... some things led to another, and we joined up in a particular server. Not one I’ll be naming, but times were... turbulent in there. It went under and we lost contact a bit after that.

That is, until completely out of the blue, I just get invited to a server with them and some pals to just join in on Roblox shenanigans. Imagine me, sweating and anxious as hell after getting asked to join a server with two people behind blogs I adore, considering Ding was there too. Cardiac arrest, I tell you. And obviously more than just them too! But the night turned out to be so fun that I forgot I’d ever been so anxious in the first place.

From there on... the rest was history. There’s been many, MANY ups and downs, but I’ve found yet more people I love very, very dearly. And they’ve gotten me to open up about the way I feel the most. In the past years, I could never tell someone I loved them, no matter how much I really wanted to. The words just couldn’t come out, but they... they brought that out in me. And now I can say it whenever I want! Like now! I love you guys!!! So much!!!! And not just you all, but everyone else too!!! And much love to Kink especially for being a driving force behind me making this, as well as just being a goddamn star.

So... as a final ovation... LLA, CC, Bry, Drago/Paci, Pots, Silver, Donut, Quarter, Stilla, Chara, Moddy, Rowdy, Neue, Castor/Skater, Tia/Nightmare, Clement, Zielo, Vee, Nappy, Ding, Pip, Cola, and Kink. As well as some stragglers like Log, Ingrid, and Jai. I’m probably still forgetting some... but thank you all for being my friends. It’s been a long, long five years. And yet, many of you are still in my life. In at least some form. There aren’t words enough to express my gratitude towards every single one of you for the most incredible years of my life and pulling me from what can be called nothing less than the fucking abyss. You all made and continue to make life worth living.

And thank you, Undertale. The game behind all of these relationships. The game that inspired such strong feelings in me when nothing else could. That made me into an artist and writer. The reason I’m still alive. The game that changed my fucking life and will continue to affect me, I believe, for the duration of it. I really cannot overstate just how important you were and still are. There’ll never be anything else like you.

#this is probably littered with mistakes and things that didn't need to be there #Like the sheer amount of context provided for how poorly I was doing #But too late to change things now!#My brain hurts too much to bother proofreading #So take this raw and unfiltered thing and do what you will with it #Or don't #It's a rough read #Don't push yourself through it if you can't #Or simply don't want to #long post

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curlzformetal · 5 years

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Episode 12, Midnight Espionage

Okay, so first off, I will address dropping out from this for like five months. Uh, it happens…? Idk what ep I left off on typing up, but we’re gonna start back here for funsies. But I’m back!! With más reactiones! (Listen, u take Spanish for two years in high school and then. and then this happens.) So!! Episode 12!!

the whole plan,, is so goddamn smart. like how they talk throughout the ep is consistently considering all the angles, to steal the handwriting, to copy it, to do all this shit and,,, in any dnd campaign I’ve played all the people just want combat and it’s so nice to see dnd used in a ,,, varied environment i suppose? Idk I just love the (heh) espionage that goes down this ep, and it’s so goddamn cool.

another thing before the character breakdowns: the subtle,,, foreshadowing? That Marisha did w/o even thinking or knowing??? “We all think Matt’s managing three storylines but little known to us, he’s managing a fourth seCRET STORYLINE” and then shIT hits the FAN AT THE END OF THE EP and there’s,,, explosions and towers crumbling andAND AND PEOPLE. GETTING STRUCK BY L I GHTNING AND TURNED TO A SH. that,, was nice. everything went to shit but tbh I agree with Travis. “That went perfectly.” something is afoot my dudes…something is aFOOT.

okay so, we’ll start off w jester: fave moment was more a joint Nott and Jester moment. Nott asking Jester when they break into the attic if Jester wants to draw a mustache or a dick on the giant art piece…was priceless. I’ve mentioned that i really love their dynamic and that certainly holds true this time, and the jester is like… I think I studied this artist. And I?? Jester studied art?? I mean I used it makes sense but I,, can’t see Jester studying? Like I just don’t see it.

Speaking of Nott, the,, mage hand…mistake?? (Missed opportunity?) With the grappling hook and how upset she was like,, idk what that says about her and Caleb bc I almost get this vibe like she desperately needs to impress Caleb and always be as smart or only a little less smart than him bc she needs to prove to herself that she deserves his love and affection. And like that…really hit home. Very much so. The way she says, “I want to see you succeed,” really tells me that Nott feels like she needs to work to help Caleb not only because she loves him, but also because she might need to feel like she’s earning her place with him. And then after everything goes sideways, she still takes that moment to grab the scroll that Caleb wanted before leaving the High (Richter? Riktor?)’s home sort of cements that for me. ((okay, something else that fucking GOT ME. the whole hospital scene was a jam. a bop. Nott,, continually asking about doing this one plan and Caleb just,, keeps,, “No that sounds a little extreme” like…yeah. but the whole situation had gone extreme Caleb, or haven’t yOU NOTICED?? I just really love Nott and Caleb as a friendship. Like,, really badly. But also Nott hissing was fucking PRIME. the bEST. 111/10 you’re doing amazing sweetie.)) Also, Nott,,, is so funny. Like…the messages?? Every message she sends is,, the best. I think everyone absolutely knows they can respond to this message, but it reminds me of like those automatic email sign offs, and it’s just…great, it’s great okay, I have a terrible and easily pleased sense of humor and thIS PLEASES ME.

Speaking of the hospital scene, @Molly you know what you did. I am both disgusted…and very impressed. Good plan, terrible execution, it’s okay if you blame the dice. But Molly really goes that extra mile every time without it…striking me as a need to be extra? Like he does it, but it’s not for praise or good attention bc I feel like Molly almost…doesn’t care about that. It would be nice to see him get it, but I think Molly is so used to not receiving positive attention at all (take how the guard shooed him away when he has the little bus set up, take how suspicious the guards to the Trispire were and that’s just this ep) that it’s not an attention thing for it. And like…I don’t think it’s a fun thing either? He didn’t sound like he was having a good time cutting himself open or smashing through a window or acting possessed and like…in context (and out of it) it’s funny, but at the same time, Molly takes to it without he levity that would make him the comic relief. (That probably atm goes to Nott. Read: Sam.) Molly’s just…flashy? Without wanting the attention or having fun with it, he just is. Like…like he’s going through the motions of putting on a show without actually enjoying any aspect of it.

Whereas Jester absolutely enjoys putting on a show. She enjoys attention, she adores it, she has fun with it. Her and Molly are so similar in…genre (?)….but not in motive. Jester does things a certain way or does them at all purely bc they are fun. She enjoys playing dressup, she enjoys acting…she enjoys imagining things. (I almost wonder…if she didn’t imagine her mom?) It’s a really fun compare and contrast between her and Molly and I think they foil each other really well even without interacting that much.

You know who does interact with Jester a lot though? Beau. And while Beau doesn’t put on a show to be flashy or to have fun, I still feel like she is putting on some kind of show. Maybe not directly, but almost in a kind of…lie of omission way. Is an act of omission a thing? But anyways, it’s really interesting, Beau having secrets, Beau doing and saying true things, and pitting both of those things against each other. Beau is…almost her own foil, which is just weird but it really works for her. (10/10 moment: Beau trying not to bleed on a magical rug that is literally in fucking tatters.)

Which brings me to Fjord. Full disclosure, some of the spoilers I’ve seen for like eps 60-74 make me love him, even though atm Caleb is really stealing that cake, but what would have tipped me off is that when Caleb goes for the scroll in the High (Richter?)’s house, Fjord doesn’t hesitate the tiniest bit to threaten him. He threatens to dump (and HARM) Caleb, and by extension Nott, and he does it without any outer evidence of inner conflict which really…mhmMM is there inner conflict at all? Cue gif of there’s a lot to unpack here. It’s really interesting because he does this, but five minutes later Fjord shoves a health potion down Caleb’s throat and the words that stick with me are “We’re either a team or you’re working for yourselves. Decide.” because it’s so obvious that Fjord himself has decided that he’s a team. This is his team. He’s decided, he is invested in the Mighty Nein, not as individuals who are his friends, but as a group that’s HIS group. (Look at how the moment he escaped the hospital, he instantly turns around to help Molly.) Fjord believes in all them, together, in a way I don’t think anyone else quite does yet. It’s…a really really really good and fun thing to see, for sure.

Also the plot is so goddamn thick. Almost as thick as Molly’s cosplayed dick. (I really hope in EP 13 that comes back I wanna know.) And like,, the way Matt describes things, the fact that Marisha accidentally foreshadows the whole thing?? I am DYING to know what’s going on. Im so curious. Matt drags not opy the players (with characters who are invested) but he immediately drags the Audi in with him. I wanna know what’s up!! What the fuck!! What the hell!! What the HECKIN!! so.

im gonna go find out what the HECKIN, n I’m gonna start ep 13 despite the late hour. hopefully the next Critical Reaction won’t take, u know,,, five months. :) :) :)

#critical role #cr caleb #cr nott #cr mollymauk #cr fjord #cr jester #cr beauregard #critical reactions #meta...?? I guess??#does this count as #critical role meta #?

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didsomeonesayventus · 5 years

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okay long time spending in gestation but I imagine that someone out of the followers I have wants to know my onion on KH3 is

Overall, good!

so consider wordbarf of very repeated and tired onions no one actually actively asked for below:

Alright so I’ve been trying to figure out how to make these words and what my opinions even are considering this game has been out for almost a year now (KH3 existing is wild imagine it turning a year old) so this will be. mostly bullet points + incoherent and unorganized rambling forgive me

BAD THINGS FIRST lets get the salt out of the way

Literally everything with Kairi was oof. I still feel her relationship with Lea is incredibly rushed given the last time they were interacting in canon he was literally kidnapping her but go off I guess nomura they’re brother/sister friendsy now at least the fandom can sell me on that better than you can. I seethe with rage recalling that they didn’t even try to hide that killing her off was a classic case of fridging (“You lack motivation” FUCK OFF) and I have been angry since the day I was spoiled by leak stuff accidentally. I wouldn’t have minded her getting her ass handed to her if they made it look like she tried and gave us some moments where she did defend herself and get some victories and not conveniently cut away from the actually badly needed training montage (surprise! this is why we have training montages!!!!) and I get she was instrumental in rescuing everyone and the fact she wasn’t THAT bad speaks for how much she improved but it still just. bites that she still feels more like a satellite love interest than ever.

Kairi was bad enough to get her own thing but tbh everyone who isn’t Sora also.. really suffers. The writing is really Sora-centric here and that’s not inherently bad (see good list) but it leaves a lot to be desired, especially since they dog pile the extended cast moments in at the end. There was no big confusion at Ven and Roxas sharing a face, no talks between characters who would have interesting interactions given their histories and circumstances, no obvious sign of development from anyone except maybe sea salt family and Aqua. They’re here to be more one-note than usual and resolve their arcs. Ven in particular (I’m totally not biased clearly /sarcasm) I feel is a big example given he was kinda in a really rough mental state at the end of bbs?? and 3 is exceptionally vague on just how conscious ventus was during his nap so I can’t even answer if he was able to give himself therapy the past 12 years or whatever

Anti Aqua is a damn cool concept but ultimately kinda pointless and I think we could have received it better if it wasn’t spoiled in trailers and wholly out of left field. Plus Sora coming in after what was pretty clearly set up as a Riku moment- while it gave us the incredibly gay press triangle to Sora + use a big keyblade made from ur love moment -was uh! really cheap!!!! and ruined what was clearly set up for being Riku’s thing with an almost nonsensical SIKE ITS SORA (it’s saved from being wholly nonsensical by 0.2′s opening foreshadowing + it still kinda makes sense for sora to at least help but damn if the narrative wasn’t leading us towards a riku moment)

Also everyone was hit really hard with the nerf effect in-narrative so unless you’re the dream team you’re screwed I guess and that. doesn’t quite work since it makes everyone else look... not great. And I think this is kinda a miscommunication on part of Nomura and the fans (IM MAKING ASSUMPTIONS TAKE WITH SALT) in that we kept saying we wanted people “saved” but meant having their arcs resolved in a reasonable way that preserved their agency and power and relationships, but got interpreted literally as “alright Sora comes in and solves every problem, is tough on stains, and makes julienne fries”

And yet there’s also a lot of mean spirited “oh no sora’s dumb and helpless w/out a second braincell” which was kinda funny the first couple times and I failed to pick up on it first go I’ll admit, but honestly? Yeah. they pick on sora too much. Donald and Goofy are the most guilty, and everyone else by virtue of not seeing Sora that much actually in-narrative are off the hook from me because they probably didn’t know how much teasing he’d been getting from his pals, but it felt kinda like they didn’t know what to fall back on between the three besides “oh donald and goofy pick on sora” which is cute once or twice but the amount he gets and how it clearly leads to his breakdown at the end is uhHHHHhhhHH hm.

As always the pacing is pretty awful where the disney worlds are somewhat relevant at best and then the end is 0-1000 but that is a usual KH gripe so its pretty low on the bar

Attraction flow is cute and neat at first but it gets.. really wearing towards the end and in the serious fights at the Keyblade Graveyard BOY are they a mood breaker

the “repeat the plot” worlds- Tangled, Frozen, Pirates -REALLY stick out like a sore, ugly thumb compared to the worlds that went out and did their own creative thing, and Big Hero 6 was.. cute? but kinda maybe too much of a breather.

Frozen also get an extra award for “Audio mixer most in need of firing!” because who the hell allowed the do you want to build a snowman scene.

They did nothing with Scala and I want a refund on that aesthetic if they’re not gonna do anything besides a framing device with it

HEY WAIT THERE WAS GOOD THINGS TOO!

Good news point that may or may not come to pass: Re:Mind DLC might fix some of the above salt! We shall see and probably know by the time this post is a year old sfjhdsakjgh

SORA! Sora was actually a character again!!!! holy cow they pulled up from the utter nose dive that was DDD!! god i love this dork and it was really fantastic to see him back to normal.

The graphical upgrade lost a lot of the squish and stretch that the OG graphics had but you know what? pretty. tastey. good graphics and better at doing more subtle emotions and hey have i mentioned Pirate’s glow up? Pirate’s glow up. The details in Olympus to recreate the swirly aesthetic of the clouds and explosions and lava is a great touch.

Worlds as far as levels go?? really good! They feel legitimately like worlds and explorable and with their own flavors and I LOVE battle and field themes x2 its really great I’m down for less worlds if they keep the quality. Hell we have NPCs!! maybe even too many npcs.

Writing OVER ALL/ON AVERAGE I’d say has improved a lot! It’s still not a literary masterpiece or anything but I found the disney worlds really cute and easier to get invested in even if long term they were less relevant than I hoped they would be. In every world there was at least one scene I found myself actually invested in. Like there was something to the writing that was legitimately more endearing than usual on average, and toy box and monstropolis were strong contenders for really good overall imo

honestly there were moments that- as moments -were incredible. Wayfinder reunion scene will haunt me, and Sea salt’s was good too, final world and rescuing everyone was jaw dropping, getting the LoD Back was also good, Union X, Xigbar exiting left stage pursued by a bear, wayfinder trio making a grave for eraqus, all the gummi ship scenes had great chemistry, beach party ending, hanging out with rapunzel for the first half of Corona is adorable as hell, all the nods to scenes in the movies, the easter eggs, like the game is not consistently amazing but it is peppered with stuff that I feel in a bubble ignoring surrounding context just work really really well

Damn if the end boss rush wasn’t thrilling as hell and honestly??? really good. Hard to parse out first flush but I think this was a good decision and added a lot of blood roaring urgency and wild turns, and even if I want to overhaul a number of things about the endgame I think this can definitely stay

Kingstagram is a beautiful gift man

OST? A fucking banger all around and I love how they’ve made cutscene-specific tracks that play with the leitmotifs throughout KH’s illustrious musical history

Over all there’s some really glaring issues, but overall it’s KH really at its best. I’m not sure if it’s my favorite entry and I’m still really mixed + befuddled on just how exactly I feel and I think a lot of that is I had pretty high expectations and my own ideas of how it would play out since like. 2012. it’s really hard to detach from those feelings and ideas sometimes. But KH3 wasn’t bad! It could’ve really been worse, and the fact that it got out the door in the state that it was is a good deal

now here’s to the wait for Re:Mind and to see if it’s basically the content we’d get in Final Mix that could definitely bump up my opinion

#Katie rambles #long post #((in case this fucks up on mobile which it likely will))#but yeah I'd say 7-8/10 #solid entry did remarkably well for what it needed to do but not really amazing favorite entry ever sort of love #got its pros got its cons. its solid and good and enjoyable for what KH is #anyways obviously this is my opinion and you're not obligated to agree but yeah! KH3.. exists.. its a thing.....

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theonceoverthinker · 6 years

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OUAT 4X03 - Rocky Road

Will Ingrid succeed in ICE-olating Elsa from our heroes?

Shut up! That was funny!

Hit up my review below the cut to find out what we think of her cold con (And to see if I make any more bad puns)!

Main Takeaways

Past

Kristoph and Elsa’s friendship runs the show here and it does so very well. It was a really smart idea tackling the unconventional ways that the both of them grew up as a means of having them bond. And as I’ll go over later, I like the use of trust as a theme in this segment.

Beyond that, apart from a just really solid story, there’s not a lot to talk about here. So onwards!

Present

I remember when I was just a lurker in this fandom, people for some reason were up in arms about why Ingrid froze Marian’s heart and for me, it always made sense. Elsa was getting to be buddy-buddy with the heroes and would soon be welcomed into the town. Because of that, while there was still time for people to be suspicious and doubtful of Elsa, Ingrid froze Marian’s heart so that the ensuing fear of the townspeople could combat the trust that the heroes had in her and give Elsa that sense of rejection. Like, while I don’t like this arc in the sense that it quite literally fridges Marian, it does make sense in terms of Ingrid’s motivations. It’s actually a genius plan on her part and really sets up the type of villain she is. She’s complicated in that she wants her sisters to come to her willingly, but has no problem using her control over memories to manipulate exactly what “willingly” entails.

Snow’s story is really good. I know a lot of people feel like Baby Neal should have more focus, but I feel the opposite. He’s a baby. He’s gonna poop and cry and most of the interesting content regarding him is the reaction of his parents and sibling to his presence. I feel like all we really need are to see glimpses of Snow and David parenting every now and then and this was probably the best of them. That’s because it got right to the heart of the matter: Snow is afraid for Baby Neal because of what happened with Emma. She lives in Storybrooke, Maine, the land where danger goes to have a fucking bar mitzvah! That fear is something clear and understandable and I’m happy that it got the attention it deserves.

Operation Mongoose is born! ...Well, officially now! I like how Operation Mongoose is portrayed as an operation that is in some ways extremely flawed in the places that it’s coming from, but also that involving Henry allows for it to refocus it into something good! It adds a nice layer of complexity to this operation and serves as a reflection of the Regal Believer dynamic!

There are so many good dynamics here, and besides my front runner for favorite dynamic, I really have to give credit to Emma and Regina’s here. While I don’t like the upcoming resolution to their conflict, what I do like is the buildup here. Regina, still angry with Emma, is back to making cutting and snippy remarks and Emma, while not taking them sitting down, does let those words get to her in a way. Those feelings of inadequacy, while the basis of which is wrong, are valid feelings for her to have and how they’re brought up and affect Emma throughout the episode is brutal.

...It should say a lot about how little of an impression Will Scarlet left on me that I kept forgetting that this was his first episode in the main series. I just...I just don’t get it. Well, I get that apparently, Will’s actor was still under contract and thus needed to be part of the main series, but to trap him in Storybrooke in such a tragic way, one that went presumably unsolved until the end of the series (Which was one hell of a jump) was just awful. I loved Will in the Wonderland spinoff and his friendship with Alice so to know that he loses that connection as well as his relationship with Ana really hurts! And to do what? Something that maybe another one of the more sidelined side characters could’ve done in his place? They just did him dirty. That all having been said, within the context of this episode and the arc, he’s...serviceable. He’s himself and Will Scarlet is an enjoyable character. He has good chemistry with Emma and David.

BUT let’s move aside from that to touch upon Ingrid and Emma’s dynamic! I love how just Emma’s appearance is enough to distract Ingrid from her plans. Like, she’s honestly about to freakin’ win and Emma pulls her from victory!

All Encompassing

Trust is the big theme of today’s episode and it gets a nice deep exploration. Elsa puts it best: “When you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, it can be hard to let people in, to trust them. Even when they want what’s best for you.” And this applies to several characters in this episode, namely Elsa in the flashback, Emma, Snow, and Rumple (A weird example, I know, but I’ll explain).

The thing that these four have in common in the context of this episode is that they think they know best, when that’s not necessarily true, if at all. I think in the first three examples, they’re rather self explanatory in the episode. Snow doesn’t want to trust anyone with Baby Neal because of the weight of raising a child again is something that scares her. Elsa doesn’t want to trust anyone else with her mission to get the urn because she feels that as the queen, she should be able to take care of this herself and later that she -- as a magic user -- should be able to use the urn herself to find out more about other magic users. Emma doesn’t want anyone coming along on her current mission so that she can save the day and regain her sense of purpose.

As for Rumple, I think this sentiment applies to him in the sense that the weight of the world for him now is his power and Belle. With Bae (And by extension, so much of his purpose in life) gone, Belle and his power is all he really has left. With the weight of his unhindered power now on his shoulder as it’s a possibility thanks to the hat, he doesn’t want to trust Belle with that information because he knows that if she knows the cost of it, she’ll try to deter him from pursuing his goal (And rightfully so, both with how Belle would act and how just that is). But especially after having his powers manhandled for a year, he doesn’t want to lose his chance of being free of the dagger.

Stream of Consciousness

-”And ice cream.” You know, a lot of people have all sorts of HC’s about Roland after he and the others go back to the EF and I love them, but if I may contribute my own, I want Roland to bring ice cream, the sweetest magic of all, back to his home!

-”Please mom? Regina let me.” Roland, you adorable and conniving little boy! You are going to run the world through three scoops of ice cream and a smile that can melt them!

-I also just realized that with the context of Marian being Zelena, I’m sure she’s just THRILLED with someone else comparing her to Regina! XD

-Marilena, order the carrot ice cream! It will surely leave you STONED! XD

-”There is no problem that can’t be solved with a little ice cream.” This may be my favorite opening scene in the show! XD

-”Any Given Sundae” is one of my favorite puns in this series, and given how much I love puns, that’s saying something!

-”Well, an all too common affliction around these parts.” ...It really is!

-Gotta say, Rumple’s counter to the super power was fucking great! Like, he had that down to a science! I actually HC that he may have given that to her. On some level, he knew she’d be on her own, so he decided to give her some aid in the form of her super power so that she could have a little help.

-”But I wish you the best of luck finding her.” Yeah...I refuse to believe that no one outside of Killian found that one specific line fishier than Ariel in her grotto.

-I’m very glad to know that Storybrooke is anti-wall! :D

-”I’m not worried about the wall. I’m worried about who made it.” I just love this line! XD

-I LOVE Regina’s outfit in Granny’s! Look, I’m a sucker for short sleeves and the vest part of it just seals the deal for me. This is a comfy cozy Regina! Also, Lana is ROCKING that ponytail!

-Regina, you have great taste in comics! Also, you’re kind of as subtle as a brick with your goals, but it works out really well! :D

-I love the slam down of the painting! Regina is 100% right. As someone who just gushed about that office, that painting completely messes with the colors and has got to go.

-”People like me?” “With magic.” I like how Kristoph wastes not even a second before ensuring Elsa that he doesn’t mean “people like me” in a bad way. He really gets his sister-in-law and knows that such talk has the potential to upset her deeply and as soon as he sees an inkling of that, he springs to action.

-Elsa and Killian also have a great dynamic here! XD

-”What are you going to do?” “Something drastic.” I think he was looking for something a TWINGE more specific, Regina! XD

-Okay, so I don’t often like to pick apart plot holes, but why wouldn’t Killian have Elsa secretly listen in on their convo and then tell Belle herself? Like, he promised Rumple “his” silence. He said fuck all about Elsa! XD

-You know, if magic can never be destroyed as Rumple claims, than when his own curse broke, did the darkness equilibrium that I’ve hoped for for so long just sweep the land?! Because I hope so.

-Any Given Sundae has really strange hours of operation! XD

-David, you may be “fine,” but your shirt needs an iron STAT!

Favorite Dynamic

Golden Hook! I’ve waited FAR too long to gush about this rivalry again and now I can!!! This episode is I think one of the bests for their rivalry and I mean that usually, Rumple has far more of a pull over Killian than vice versa because of his magic, but here, it really feels equal because Killian’s win comes from a sensible place. Killian’s been tracking down Rumple and his weaknesses for a century and thus, has an understanding of the man. And so, he’s able to have a real and tangible advantage in this moment, one well prepared. It’s a stupid, dangerous, and even kind of selfish, but it does work out this first time around and it’s fitting of Killian’s character. There’s an actual clash and seeing that confrontation is so engaging.

Writer

We’ve got one veteran writer and one newbie today, David Goodman and Jerome Schwartz, as they enter into Season 4. And damn, what a start! What we have here are several really solid narratives that are well paced and balanced. Nothing here felt like a character was being given too much or little focus. Additionally, the conflicts and dialogue make sense for the unique positions of our characters, making this episode feel quite organic.

Rating

Golden Apple. This is a fairly layered episode! Its main draw for me are the fantastic dynamics that we get to see fleshed out as well a theme that is powerful but not too overbearing. All in all, it comes together nicely to deliver a really satisfying episode!

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Captain Swan - I really do like the exploration as to some of Emma’s distance in starting up hers and Killian’s relationship. By this point, romance has on three occasion spelled doom for whoever she’s been with and she’s nervous about Killian too. She had little control over the fates of Graham, Neal, and Walsh due to her lack of knowledge about the truth of her fairytale background and the danger that comes with it, but Killian’s different. She can make that choice and with all the facts, she’s nervous to make that step. But Killian gets to have a say in this as well. He’s survived so much of the fairytale dangers and his existence is proof of that. And that bit of information, alongside Killian’s just straight-up dedication to her and her growing feelings for him (Anyone else hear the hesitation in Emma’s voice when she pushes aside that she wants a man?), is what finally allows for her to be willing to give them a real chance. It’s no wonder that the ensuing kiss is one that enraptured the fandom and why the line beforehand stuck with us so hard. It’s an optimistic that follows this couple until the end of the series and really feels so equalizing for them. Emma and Killian are trying to help each other, but in different ways and this kiss doesn’t signal the end of that by any means, but that they’re going to change tactics so that they can help each other and be together. And that swell of music makes the moment so triumphant and beautiful.

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Thank you all for reading (If you do...honestly, I’m never sure, but if you do, I’m really grateful for you for doing so)!!! Shoutouts as always to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales and to my super amazing buddy @daensarah! Happy New Year!!!

Season 3 Total (29/230)

Writer Scores: Adam and Eddy: (9/60) Jane Espenson: (10/40) David Goodman and Jerome Schwartz: (10/50)

*Links to the rest of my rewatch will no longer be provided. They take posts with links outside of searches and I spend way too much time on these reviews to not give them that kind of exposure. Sorry for the inconvenience, but they still can be found on my page under Operation Rewatch.

#ouat #once upon a time #watching fairytales #ouat 4x03 #ouat rewatch #jenna watches ouat

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whitewolfofwinterfell · 5 years

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thank you so much for those phoebe/cole posts! just warmed my heart so much! maybe moved me to tears a bit. :) what do you think about dexter/brian? and grindeldore! and anything you want with charlie from lost? and boone/locke? thank you! you're so sweet.

Aw, you’re welcome. And thank you so much

As always I’m placing my response under the cut, because it got long (at this point I think we’ve established it’s impossible for me to ever give short responses haha).

Dexter and Brian

I’m assuming this means platonically? I know that some fans shipped them as a crackship, but I was never one of those people. I love dark ships and I’m not averse to incestuous ships either, but it’s too far even for me lmao. I don’t have that much of an opinion on these two. I find their connection interesting, but because it was only really in the first season (and a little bit in season 5 when he hallucinated him) I don’t have strong opinions on it. I think Brian is the literal representation of the darkest version of Dexter or his “Dark Passenger”. Because the thing is with Dexter, despite him being a serial killer and all his repeated spiel about being evil and not having any feelings or compassion, we see that that’s clearly not the case. His humanity grows more and more throughout the seasons, but even in season 1 he still has the ability to show kindness. He cares about Deb, Rita, Astor and Cody. He has strong feelings about children and fights to protect them no matter what, and whatever way you try to spin it, that’s not the way a psychotic cold-blooded killer behaves or thinks. Brian, on the other hand, really is a psychotic cold-blooded killer. He doesn’t care about anyone or anything, not even Dexter. His attachment to Dexter is much more about the thrill of having someone to share his sadism with and to have a partner in crime (literally), who he can learn from and teach so they can both become more ruthless and skilled killers. When Dexter kills Brian at the end of season 1, it’s about more than simply him choosing Deb over Brian, it’s about him sacrificing that darkest part of himself, it’s about him choosing love and selflessness over his Dark Passenger. Brian being the embodiment of Dexter’s Dark Passenger is all but confirmed in ‘Nebraska’ (6x07) where Brian appears to Dexter and consistently encourages him to give into his darkest urges and to let go of the good parts of himself. My perception of it is that Brian is a contrast to Debra - he represents the bad in Dexter and Deb represents the good. Whilst Brian pushes Dexter to embrace the bad in him, Debra encourages the good in him. This all goes back to the scene in season 1 where Dexter has to choose between Brian and Debra, and like I said, the choice he makes shows not only that he loves Deb more but that what she represents - the good - is more important to him.

Grindeldore

Sorry but I don’t really have an opinion on them. I don’t know much about them as a ship apart from the snippets I’ve seen from JKR over the years. I’ve stayed clear of Fantastic Beasts and anything HP related (except HP itself) since HP ended. The reason for that is because I feel that had HP had a well rounded and complete ending and anything else that follows is just a money grab and does nothing to add to the universe or characters.

Charlie Pace

This is an interesting one for me to discuss, because I recently completed a re-watch of LOST. If you’ve seen my post where I share my thoughts on my recent rewatch (you can read it here), you’ll know that my opinion on Charlie has completely changed. When I was younger I loved Charlie, I thought he was witty and funny, and I enjoyed watching his friendships with Hurley and Desmond. But my most recent re-watch definitely opened my eyes to the uglier side of Charlie.

The thing is with Charlie is that because he’s used as a comedic character that generally overshadows the shitty aspects of his personality and characterisation. His addition is not the problem here. Obviously, his addiction causes a lot of his problematic behaviours, but that in itself is not an issue I have with his character. Heroin is a highly addictive drug (I believe the most addictive one in existence) which he gets hooked on it due to pressure from his brother. He tries to kick the habit to better himself and he succeeds. This and his death, which is a very selfless act that he does for the benefit of Claire, Aaron and everybody else on the island, are the two main aspects of his character I can praise. Everything else about him…not so much. Before I get deeper into this, I wanted to make it clear that I don’t think Charlie is a bad person, but I do think he’s a very flawed character and he does a lot of things that have led to me disliking him.

All Charlie does is whine and paint himself the victim. He never takes any responsibility for anything he does or anything that happens to him or around him, it’s always someone else’s fault. He blames Liam for his drug addiction; he blames Liam for the break-down of Drive Shaft; he blames Jack for Ethan kidnapping him; he blames Locke for his deteriorating relationship with Claire; he blames Eko for outing his heroin stash to Claire and he blames Sayid for Aaron’s kidnapping (by Danielle). There are probably more that I’m forgetting, but you get the point.

The way Charlie acts towards Claire is a large part of the problem that I have with his character. He meets Claire, develops some kind of hardcore obsession with her and immediately starts acting like her partner and the father of her child despite Claire not giving any indication that she is comfortable with that or even wants Charlie to fulfil those roles. In fact, in season 1, she explicitly tells him that she doesn’t need him to constantly look out for her and that her pregnancy doesn’t mean she’s weak or fragile and needs protecting. Repeatedly, Charlie over-steps the mark with Claire, particularly when it comes to Aaron. He quite literally berates Claire numerous times for the decisions she makes regarding the well-being of her own child. When she wakes him up because she hears commotion on the beach, Charlie scolds her for it, takes Aaron out of her arms and says something along the lines of, “He’s going to be fussing all night now, give him here”, as though he knows Claire’s child better than she does. It’s one of the most infuriating scenes to watch ever. For some bizarre reason Charlie seems to think he has some claim over Aaron and assumes responsibility for him despite him literally being a stranger to Claire with no rights to Aaron at all, and I will never understand how anyone can view that as acceptable.

As well as the poor way Charlie treats Claire, he’s generally a selfish and egotistical character. All LOST characters are flawed and multi-dimensional, that’s what makes them so fantastic, but Charlie is definitely one of the more flawed characters. His addiction results in him being a pathological liar and very selfish. In addition, because of his failures he has this desperate need to be somebody else, to be this perfect man who is the embodiment of success, strength and responsibility. This is why he fixates on Claire because he sees a beautiful young woman who has been abandoned and alone and he wants to be the one to fix that. He wants to be the patriarch; the father and the husband; the defender of the family because he’s never had that before and when he meets Claire he sees a ready-made family. We know that he desires this from the flashback with Lucy whereby he takes a job and continues in his relationship with her because he wants to be “respectable” and “take care” of her. There’s nothing wrong with wanting this, but he goes about getting it in the wrong way and acts very inappropriately towards Claire.

I feel like this all sounds really harsh, but generally, my opinions on Charlie are very negative since my recent re-watch. Even the funnier aspect of his personality was a complete miss with me (perhaps it’s simply because I’m older now). But like I’ve said, I don’t think he’s fundamentally a bad person, he’s just very, very flawed. The problem with the way he’s written though is that his flaws are never really called out. When you compare him to someone like Sawyer, who also starts out in season 1 as a flawed character, he is constantly punished and called out for that and actively makes an effort to repent and redeem himself, resulting in a beautiful redemptive arc. Unfortunately, I just don’t think Charlie gets the same, because he’s not fully acknowledged within the narrative as being a flawed character that needs to develop. The only aspect of his arc that is acknowledged as a “flaw” (I feel like this isn’t the right word in this context, but I can’t think of a more appropriate one) is his addiction and because he overcomes this by going into recovery, there seems to be this assumption that he does develop, but even when he’s in recovery his behaviour is still shitty. So yeah, that pretty much sums my thoughts up on Charlie. Also I apologise if you’re like a Charlie stan, because this was essentially just a rant about how much I’ve come to dislike him lmao.

Boone and Locke

Now, this is a complicated dynamic to analyse. I like how their bond is developed at the start and I like watching them on-screen together before they find the Hatch. Unfortunately, after that I hate the whole “friendship” (if you can even call it that). Locke uses and manipulates Boone consistently, causes his death and still continues to lie even when Boone is seriously injured. The only reason Locke maintains a “friendship” with Boone is because he just so happens to be with him when he discovers the Hatch. The only way he can stop anyone else from finding out is by recruiting Boone and giving him this spiel about destiny and how they were meant to find the hatch and open it together as part of some grand plan. Locke is so adamant that he doesn’t want anyone else to find out about the Hatch that when Boone tells Locke he wants to tell Shannon, Locke knocks him out, ties him up in the middle of the jungle and drugs him. So not only does he get violent with him, abandon him in the middle of the jungle whilst injured but he also gives him drugs without his consent which results in him having traumatic hallucinations where he sees Shannon die. Locke tries to spin it as being something he’s doing for Boone’s benefit, but it’s not, it’s all about him protecting his secret. He doesn’t care about Boone or how his feelings for Shannon are impacting him, all he cares about is stopping Boone from telling Shannon about the Hatch. In forcing Boone to keep quiet about it, he creates a distance and tension between Boone and Shannon, who is the most important person in his life. Honestly Locke is 100% selfish and delusional in the way he behaves throughout this entire arc. He prioritises unlocking some mysterious hatch in the mysterious jungle over everything else including Boone’s well-being. He coerces Boone into climbing to the top of a massive cliff and getting into a plane which is hanging over the edge of said cliff. Anyone with half a brain cell could see that that plane was unsafe and likely to fall if anybody went inside, but Locke still pushes him to do it. When the plane inevitably falls, he drops him off to Jack in the caves, doesn’t bother to tell him how he got his injuries and runs off into the jungle. Now we all know that even if Locke had told Jack the truth about how Boone had got his injuries, Jack still wouldn’t have been able to save him, but nonetheless, he should’ve come clean before Boone died. What’s even worse about the whole situation is that whilst Boone is dying and Jack, Sun and the others are busting their asses to save his life, Locke is hammering on the Hatch yelling, “WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!?!!!” I’m sorry………………what?????? Locke, I’m pretty sure you’re not the victim in this scenario. Like the fact that he thinks that he’s being punished for what happens to Boone is proof of how much of a shitty person he is in that scenario and how little regard he has for Boone’s life. And afterwards he continues to claim that Boone died because he was a “sacrifice the island demanded”. No, dude, Boone died because of your selfishness and your delusions. I mean, even if there was something spectacularly special in the Hatch or in the plane, how could it ever be worth risking Boone’s life in that manner? And I know that Boone was an adult and made his own decision to climb into the plane knowing the risks involved, but Locke manipulated and coerced him every step of the way. And it’s important to remember that despite being an adult Boone was still very young and Locke as a much older man had a lot of influence over him. Once again, age has changed my whole perception on this relationship and arc. When I was younger I actually thought Jack totally overreacted following Boone’s death but now I stand right beside Jack every step of the way because he’s absolutely right to react the way he does. Locke is an asshole for the way he behaves and his actions lead to the death of an innocent young man for no real purpose at all.

#answered #anonymous #my meta #dexter meta #lost meta

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