#ishim oh how far hes fallen

[domesticatedangel]

thinking about the supernatural post i made when i was 16 on my buzzfeed unsolved blog that got 800 notes

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Vol. LXXXI

Is Not Allowed (Part II)

(12x10 b)

Hello my friends! Second part of episode 12 and I'm afraid it will be a third one hehehehe

A lot to talk about it so, let's just start!

A little more of sassy Cas...

Just a quick refer nice to that scene we love so much, in which Sam is the third wheel once more (so we need to pray louder for him).

CAS: We'll find out. You wait here.

DEAN: Whoa, wait. Excuse me?

CAS: Ishim said to come alone. He doesn't like humans. If I plan to do anything else stupid, I'll let you know.

Gif credit @inacatastrophicmind 👇

So sassy here than even Sam is amazed, but mostly, he's pointing here Is him doesn't like humans. Again, is the huge difference between Castiel and the other angels. And how is seen Cas between his lore.

Disgusting

The encounter between Castiel and Ishim is very disgusting to see. Because Cas is a sweet bean, he's there to help to find out who killed his friend: Benjamin.

Castiel and Benjamin are alike, because based on what Cas said about Benjamin and his vessel, it seems as if this angel had the same love for humanity as Cas does.

CAS: Kept your vessels all this time. I'm impressed.

MIRABEL: We are not careless.

ISHIM:. But you, Castiel... I liked the old you better.

First of all, Cas is trying to be polite here, but he crashes against the rejection of the other angels. Mirabel is the first engaging, drawing there immediately, a boundary between them and Castiel. She's saying here: 'We're not careless, like you.'

Cas is surely not like them, and I infer he left his vessel because he respected the human will. He just ask her maybe for that one mission, and only.

MIRABEL: We've been waiting. I suppose it does take longer to get places now without our wings. You had a hand in that, correct?

ISHIM: Now, Mirabel, some angels think of Castiel as a hero. After he left us, he had his own flight to command. Balthazar, Uriel. Great soldiers. Both dead now, of course. You had a hand in that, too. So is he a hero? Is he a spanner in the works? I don't know.

CAS: I'm not a hero, but sometimes doing the right thing requires sacrifices.

ISHIM: True, but it just always seems that it's other angels sacrificing for your good deeds. Their wings, their lives.

CAS: Are you here to insult me or talk about Benjamin?

ISHIM: Can't we do both?

They're exposing Castiel's entire compendium of guilts. All of them, engaging without mercy against Castiel.

MIRABEL: In the years since we lost our wings, two others from our flight have been murdered, like Benjamin.

ISHIM: We're all that's left.

CAS: Why didn't I know about this?

MIRABEL: We didn't think you'd care.

That's exactly the idea they have about Cas. The filthiness of live among humans, bonding with one hairless ape. Cas is the one going against the Sacred Oath, before their eyes.

The hairless ape is not amused

Then we have Dean making his great and dramatic entrance, and almost sitting on Cas' lap! That, my friends, is showing a huge rate of defiance.

'So, you don't like us because we are together here? Watch me jump into my angel/boyfriend lap.'

Gif credit @gabrielokun

The message is received and we can see it in Ishim's face.

DEAN: Feel a little left out over there. Scoot over.

Dean is showing them here they came together, because they support each other. And they do whatever they want and not angel can change that.

The way Dean and ISHIM exchange glances is priceless. Because ISHIM keeps insulting Cas and Castiel's choice of stay with humans. Mostly, with Dean Winchester.

DEAN: Well, who wants some pie?

ISHIM: You know, when I knew Castiel, he was a soldier. He was a warrior. He was an angel's angel. Now look how far he's fallen.

Is official, they blame Dean, we heard it in season 7 too, and now here again. Cas fell for a human. (But... Didn't ISHIM too?)

The Mission

When the angel left, Sam and Dean were amazed about the way ISHIM treated Cas.

SAM: Hell of a friend, Cass.

DEAN: Why do you let him talk to you like that?

CAS: If Ishim can help me find whoever killed Benjamin, then I have to.

Truth is, deep inside, Castiel feels every word they said, and he thinks he deserves it. Depressed as he is in this season, he can only take the blame. Putting again the mission before everything.

The Lily comes killing Mirabel, and hurting ISHIM. And we are witnesses of fem!Cas and the mission.

Every angel in that mission were sure about one thing: VIOLATE THE SACRED OATH, WAS SENTENCE WITH DEATH.

Look at fem!Cas reciting this...

CASTIEL. Akobel, Seraphim of the Sixth Choir, you have lain with a human and you fathered a Nephilim. (...) You have broken our most sacred oath, and the penalty is... Death.

As I pointed before in season 8, the Nephilim is the union between a human and an angel, and is a forbidden relationship. THAT'S THE KIND OF NOT ALLOWED BOND WITH A HUMAN. And that's part of Castiel's POV too. Castiel struggling with this idea is permanent. Even with his rebellious nature, as @zevbaldwin added to the previous chronicles, the inner war is there. We will know more about this in the incoming episodes, and there's a fabulous episode in season 14x15 'Peace of mind', where writers talks about Castiel's POV again and the Sacred Oath.

There's no doubts about it. Nephilim should die and the angel that gave it birth, too. Because angels don't get laid with humans. Because is forbidden.

Akobel there is a perfect Castiel's mirror, loving and guarding humanity.

But once the story is told, look at this piece of dialogue...

SAM: Cass, you, um...

CAS: We completed a mission.

DEAN: Some mission.

CAS: It was horrific, but it was necessary. It was right.

DEAN: Well, you say so.

'We completed the mission's, as always, mission comes first, Castiel kept the speech of a soldier under orders. And Dean is not approving, why it is so bad if an angel wants to be intimately with a human? 'Well, you say so.' Dean adds. Kind of disappointed.

I have to cut again the analysis here, oh boy, this is Yockey, we can tell hahahaha.

To Conclude:

Castiel's depression is here again letting their old partners engaging against him, deep inside feeling he deserves it.

The Sacred Oath pointed no angel should intimate with a human, and is their sacred law, and writers shows it as an inner fight Castiel has for loving Dean. (Of course this won't be a problem once Cas discovers his father is the bad guy) but in the meantime, he is struggling with it.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-deana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @nickelkit @anon-non2 @cea1996

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous meta from this season, here you have the links.

Vol. LXXV, LXXVI, LXXVII, LXXVIII, LXXIX, LXXX.

Buenos Aires, September 29th 2020 7:35 PM

[ravenscat-tumbler]

I Will Always Come Back to You

Basically the 12x10 Lily Sunder has Some Regrets episode with some tweaks to make it more destiel with LOVE CONFESSIONSSSSSSS and a whole lotta hurt. So if you like drama and that episode you are gonna love this fic. I hope...

AO3 Link

Dean wasn’t angry, he was worried. Sam got that. Cas got that and even Dean himself got that. The way he decided to express that though, was not understood. Not by Sam and not by Cas.

This made Castiel angry which, in turn, made Dean angry and now here they were not talking to each other and acting like kids. It was poor Sam who was stuck in the middle of it all.

They were all awkwardly sitting in the car and Sam was fed up with the silence.

“Alright, who wants music?” He asks, reaching over to turn the music on.

Dean’s “I’m good.” Stopped him in his tracks.

“You’re… mhm, okay.” He sighs.

Another couple of seconds of silence before he turns around to look at Cas.

“Cas.”

Castiel’s eyes shoot to look over at him.

“Is there anything specific we should know about your friend?” Sam asks.

Castiel doesn’t answer.

Sam sighs exasperatedly, “Alright.” He squeezes the bridge of his nose, leaning his elbow against the window. “Guys, you know what? Th…this silent treatment thing, it’s silly. It’s not gonna work.” He pointedly looks over at Dean. “Whatever we are walking into we should, you know, probably have an actual plan.” He looks back over at Dean.

Dean ignores him and Castiel sighs in the back, rolling his eyes.

“What do you wanna know?” He asks

“Oh, he speaks.” Dean says, sarcastically.

“Uh, enough.” Sam holds up his hand.

Cas squints an annoyed little look at the back of Dean’s head and turns towards Sam to listen to what he was saying.

“Cas, you said when you heard Benjamin, he was screaming.”

“It was ah… look Benjamin wouldn’t call for help lightly, he wouldn’t put himself in harm’s way if he could help it.” Cas says looking around.

“Wow, this Benjamin seems like he’s pretty cool like he wouldn’t make any half-cocked, knee jerk choices.” Dean says, voice rising as he got towards the end.

“Yeah, you know what I like about him is that he is sarcastic, but he’s thoughtful and appreciative too.” Cas says.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Dean asks, turning his head around to look at Castiel, not caring about getting into an accident and killing them all.

A horn blares loudly and Sam grabs the wheel quickly.

“Okay, okay! Road! Road Dean! Watch the road.” Sam says quickly.

Dean turns back around and waves him off.

“I got it.”

“Anything else Cas?” Sam asks.

Castiel explains everything else and they head over to a motel for the night, since they couldn’t go to the crime scene at this hour.

*

Sam gets his own room and leave Cas and Dean to work out their mess. Which they probably wouldn’t.

Once they enter, Dean realizes Sam got them one queen, and it wasn’t a very big queen either.

“Oh, that fucker.” Dean exclaims angrily.

He barges out of the room and goes to the reception to ask for a room change where the lady proceeds to tell him that they had no other rooms, other than single queens left. He grumbles a ‘thanks’ and goes back to the room where Castiel was stripping off his layers.

He slams the door behind him and Castiel turns to look at him.

“I’m gonna go take a shower.” Dean says.

Cas just nods.

*

By the time Dean had finished his shower and came out he saw that Castiel was awkwardly laying on the small couch.

Dean sighs, sure he was angry at Cas but he also loved him and didn’t want the poor guy to kill his back.

“Cas.” He says softly.

Cas turns to look at him.

“There’s enough room on the bed for the both of us.” Dean says. There barely was but they could still fit.

“Is that your way of apologizing?” Cas asks.

“I have no need of apologizing for anything!” Dean exclaims loudly.

“Really? You expect me to apologize?” Cas asks, sitting up.

“You should!” Dean yells out.

“For what, Dean? What is it that you think I should be apologizing for? For killing Billie? For saving you? Because I don’t see any reason for me to apologize. I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant saving you!” Cas says, voice slowly rising.

Dean sighs, “Cas… man… when someone says there will be cosmic consequences of a deal not happening I don’t think that’s a good thing.”

“Then I’ll deal with it, Dean!” Cas says, standing up.

“I DON’T WANT YOU TO DEAL WITH IT!” Dean yells.

Someone bangs on the wall from the other side.

“I don’t want you to deal with it, I don’t want anything to happen to you.” Dean says, quieter this time.

Cas walks over to Dean, who’s no longer looking at him.

“It’ll be okay, Dean.” Cas says, placing his hand on his shoulder.

“What if it’s not?” Dean asks in a quiet whisper.

“We’ll be fine. We always are.” Cas says pulling Dean into a hug.

“I hate you for this.” Dean whispers out, resting his head on Castiel’s shoulder and holding him tightly.

“I know, but I’m not sorry. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“I know you wouldn’t.”

They stand there for a while before Dean lifts his head up.

“Come to bed.” Dean says.

Castiel nods and follows Dean into the bed.

*

The next morning Dean was back to not talking to Castiel.

“Dean? Really? Are you serious?” Cas asks, exasperatedly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dean says.

“I hate it when you give me mixed signals like this. I don’t understand.” Cas says, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

Dean just grins at him and leaves the room after getting his stuff.

*

When the time came to meet Ishim, Castiel tells Sam and Dean to wait outside.

“Wow, wait. Excuse me?” Dean asks, confused.

“Ishim said to come alone, he doesn’t like… humans.” Cas says.

Dean shakes his head and raises his hands in question.

Castiel sighs, “If I plan to do anything else stupid, I’ll let ya know.” He says as he walks into the restaurant.

Sam turns to Dean with a confused look and his mouth hanging open.

“What the hell did you say to him last night?” Sam asks.

Dean rolls his eyes and turns away.

“And your gonna storm in, righttttttttt…” Sam starts, leaning on the Impala.

Dean looks at him briefly before turning around and starting to walk.

“Now.” Sam says following after him.

Dean spots Castiel on the bench and smirks.

“Hey.” He says.

“Dean.” Castiel says, sounding done.

“I’ll give you mixed signals.” He whispers to himself.

“I felt a little left out over there.” Dean says as he sits himself down, right on Castiel’s lap.

Castiel’s eyes widen along with everyone else’s at the table. Sam hides a smile and sits down beside them.

“I said to come alone.” Ishim says, opening another packet of sugar and putting it in his coffee.

“These are my friends. My friends who don’t listen very well.” He says, glancing up at Dean who had made himself comfortable on Cas.

Dean smiles down at him and runs a hand through Castiel’s hair, scratching at the back of his head lightly.

“Hey, how you doing? I’m…” Sam starts.

“We know who you are.” Maribel says, cutting him off.

“Check if there are others?” Ishim tells her.

She nods and leaves.

“I only brought Sam and Dean.” Cas says.

“As far as you know.” Ishim says, glancing up at Cas and then disgustingly at Dean, who frowns.

“Who wants some pie?” Dean asks, purposely squirming in Castiel’s lap.

Castiel discreetly grabs Dean’s waist to stop him from moving.

“You know, when I knew Castiel, he was a soldier.” Ishim says, pouring another packet of sugar into his coffee. “He was a warrior.” He continues, looking up at Sam, “He was an angel’s angel. Now look how far he’s fallen.” He gestures to Castiel while opening another sugar packet.

Castiel quietly looks at Ishim as he talks and Dean and Sam frown at Ishim.

“How about a little coffee with that sugar.” Dean retorts.

He looks up into Sam’s eyes and then Dean’s. Dean has a hard look on his face, not liking to hear anyone talk bad about his angel.

He drops his eyes down to Castiel, “No wings, no home, just a ratty old coat and a pair of poorly trained monkeys.”

Castiel looks away, dropping his head. Dean didn’t like that one bit. Who was Ishim to talk to Castiel like that.

“Oh, well, you can go to hell.” Dean says.

Ishim smirks.

Dean feels Castiel squeeze his waist tightly before he hears him say, “Dean, it’s fine.”

Dean clenches his teeth. No, it wasn’t.

“No, It’s not.” Sam says, speaking Dean’s mind.

“Sam, this isn’t about me, it’s about Benjamin.” Cas says.

“Now that, is refreshingly accurate.” Ishim says. “And since you brought a couple extra people to our chit chat, we should somewhere more private. I have a safe house nearby.”

Ishim gets up and pulls out his wallet. He pulls out a couple of bills and throws them down in front of Dean.

“I’ll go get Mirabel. So nice to see you, old friend.” He says smirking slightly. “Have some pie.” He says, gesturing to the table as he walks away.

“Wow.” Sam clears his throat as he moves to the other side of the table.

Dean still doesn’t get off Castiel’s lap.

“Hell of a friend, Cas.” Sam says.

“Why do you let him talk to you like that?” Dean asks.

“If Ishim can help me find whoever killed Benjamin, then I have to…”

“Okay, look, I…I get that we need super dick there, but, I mean, come on.” Dean says, shifting in Castiel’s lap again.

“The angels I served with are being killed, so I will put up with Ishim. I will put up everything else and so will you. I have to go.” Castiel says. He scoots to the end of the table with Dean still on him and then easily lifts him and moves Dean off himself before standing up and heading towards the exit.

Dean watches him go, head swarming with thoughts.

*

After the entire incident with ‘patches’ as Dean likes to call her they end up in an abandoned church.

“Ishim, how is she still alive?” Cas asks him.

“Wait you know her?” Sam asks, confused.

Cas explains everything to Sam and Dean and Dean is shocked. He never thought that Cas would be able kill an innocent child.

“Cas, you, uhm…”

“We completed a mission.” Cas says, trying to leave what he had done unsaid.

“Some mission.” Dean says.

Cas looks at the shock in Dean’s eyes.

“It was horrific, but it was necessary. It was right.” Cas says, pleading for Dean to understand.

“If you say so.” Dean says, not looking at him.

“What about the women?” Sam asks.

“Lily Sunder.” Ishim says.

He explains everything and Dean speaks up.

“Alright, but we’ll find her. Me and Sam.”

“No, Dean.” Cas wouldn’t let Dean come in harm’s way.

“Cas, she doesn’t care about us, okay? She’s gunning for you guys.” Dean says.

“Yeah, maybe we could reason with her.” Sam says.

“Uh four dead angels indicate that perhaps she is not reasonable. If she has this dark power, it will take all of us to fight her.” Cas says. “And I need to heal your wound.” He says turning to Ishim.

“Wait a second, Cas. Her family was murdered. I… I mean I know you were just doing a job but-“

“Are you saying those angels deserved to die?” Cas asks

“What?” Sam asks.

“You think I deserve to die?” Cas asks, looking expectantly at Sam.

“No!”

“No, no. That’s not what he’s saying.” Dean says, interrupting them.

“Then what is he saying?” Cas asks turning towards Dean.

“I’m saying that if we find her then maybe we can explain to her that you’re different now, you know?” Sam says.

“Sam, that won’t work. She won’t quit.” Cas says.

But Sam and Dean are persistent and they go to find her.

*

Ishim tries to fill dirt up in his mind for humans but Castiel ignores him.

Cas heals Ishim and it takes a lot more out of him than he expected. He feels light headed and sits down, whereas Ishim is feeling great and jumping around doing pushups.

Castiel glares at him as he watches.

*

Dean and Sam learn the truth about what actually happened with Lily and her family and what Ishim had done. Dean gets worried about Castiel.

He calls and gets no answer. He goes to check up on him leaving Sam with Lily.

*

Dean enters the Church and looks around. He spots Castiel with his head resting against his fist.

“Cas??” He rushes over to him.

Cas lets out a breathless groan as he turns to look at Dean. Dean sits down on the couch beside him.

“Hey. You okay?” He asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He says shaking his head, looking completely wiped. “And Ishim is fully recovered.”

Dean looks away from Cas and looks around the room worriedly.

“Yeah, okay…” Dean says. “Maybe wish you hadn’t done that just yet.”

“Wait, why?” Cas asks.

“This Lily chick? She says that her daughter was human. I think Ishim… I think he’s just playing you.” Dean says, keeping an eye on Castiel’s facial features. He drops his hand from the back of the couch to Castiel’s shoulder.

Castiel looks down to his lap.

“You’re back. What’s new?” Ishim says from the doorway.

Both Dean and Castiel’s eyes shoot over to Ishim.

Dean’s mouth forms an ‘O’ shape as he thinks ‘fuck we’re in trouble’.

Castiel leans forward and places a protective hand on Dean’s thigh, grounding him.

Dean closes him mouth and swallows hard.

“Is it… is it true, Ishim?” Castiel says.

Dean looks over to Cas when he starts talking and see’s he’s standing up.

Dean grabs his arm and helps him up.

“Is what true?” Ishim asks.

“Lily Sunder’s daughter? Was she human?” Cas asks, walking closer to him.

“Who told you that?” Ishim asks.

Dean moves behind Castiel.

“She did.” Dean says. “Said you were pretty obsessed.”

“Well, she’s a liar.” Ishim says as he walks over to them.

“Why would she lie?” Cas asks.

“She’s human. It’s kinda of what they do.”

“Well if she’s a liar, she’s pretty good at it. You on the other hand, kinda of suck.” Dean says, casually.

Ishim ignores Dean and walks up to Castiel, “Who are you gonna believe? You’re brother? Or some filthy ape who’s always talking down to you, always mocking you?” He says, gesturing to Dean.

Castiel glances black at Dean and then back at Ishim, tilting his head in confusion.

Dean rolls his eyes, “You know, Cas and I might not agree all the time but at least he knows who his real friends are.”

Cas looks at Dean while he talks and then turns back to Ishim.

“Why do his words bother you so much, Ishim?” Castiel asks with a tilt to his head and eyes squinting.

“Who is he to question my choices?” Ishim asks, gesturing to Dean while he looks at Cas. “Who’s he to question yours?”

“Well, it seems that some of my choices may need to be questioned.” Castiel says as he walks towards Ishim. “Now, tell me. The girl, was she human?” Castiel asks angrily.

“Oh, you’re not gonna like the answer.” Ishim says.

Dean pulls out an angel blade and goes for Ishim.

Ishim merely waves his hand, causing Dean to go flying into a wall.

Castiel watches as Dean falls to the floor with a thud and he turns on Ishim ready to attack. Ishim avoids his fist and punches him. Castiel lands on the floor and Ishim grabs him and hauls him up.

“I used to envy you, Castiel. You believe that?” Ishim punches him again.

Castiel uses all the force he could muster and head butts Ishim. Ishim lets out a grunt at the impact.

Dean watches and quickly cuts his hand, drawing the angel banishing sigil on the wall.

Ishim shakes his head to clear it, “You survived hell. You were chosen by god.” He punches Cas again. “Now look at you. You’re just sad and pathetically weak.” He punches Cas once more before letting him go. Castiel’s head rolls back and he groans.

“So now…” Ishim says, fixing his tie. “I’m gonna help you. I’m gonna cure you of your human weakness, same way I cured my own.” He lets his angel blade drop into his hand. “By cutting it out.” He moves and goes towards Dean.

Dean looks up at him and Ishim stops when he sees the sigil on the wall.

“Don’t move.” Dean says.

“Do it.” Ishim says, “You blast me away. You’ll blast every angel in the room.” He says, gesturing to a bloody Castiel, who was watching them. “I’ll survive. Castiel, on the other hand, he’s hurt.”

Dean’s eyes go to Castiel as he listens to Ishim.

“He might live or he might just end up a bloody smear on the wall. Roll the dice.”

Dean clenches his teeth and drops his hand from the wall.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Ishim says.

Ishim goes over and grabs Dean by the neck, hauling him up.

Dean tries to swing the angel blade at him but he grabs it and throws it away.

Dean grunts as he’s thrown to the floor beside Castiel.

He rolls his head to look at Castiel’s bloody face, hoping it wasn’t the last time he would get to see it.

Castiel watches him, struggling to get up.

“I love you.” Dean says.

Castiel’s eyes widen at the admission.

“Oh, you love him, do you?” Ishim asks, hauling Dean up by the shirt and punching him. Dean groans at the impact. “Don’t you feel bad lying to him?”

“I’m not lying.” Dean grunts out.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about, Castiel. They’ll tell you they love you and then find someone else to screw in the next instant.”

Ishim grabs Dean and turns him so Dean’s back is to his chest. He wraps his arm around Dean’s neck and places the tip of his angel blade against his carotid artery.

Dean gasps as he feels a pinch.

Castiel uses all his strength and stands up.

“Get off him!” He growls out.

“You love him too, don’t you?” Ishim asks Cas.

“I said get off him!” Cas says venomously.

“Answer me!” Ishim yells out, pressing harder against Dean’s neck making him yell out.

“Yes! Yes! Don’t hurt him.” Cas says quickly.

“You’d do anything for this human, wouldn’t you?”

Castiel hesitates.

“Wouldn’t you?!” Ishim asks, pressing the blade tighter against his neck again.

“Yes!”

“You would still love him, even when he fucks you over and finds someone else?” Ishim asks.

Castiel pauses, he would. He knew he would.

“I would never do that!” Dean gasps out.

“I WANT YOUR ANSWER CASTIEL! YOU KNOW HE WOULD! THAT’S WHAT THESE HUMANS DO. FIND SOMEONE ELSE AND LEAVE! WOULD YOU STILL LOVE HIM?!”

Castiel nods, “I would, I would still love him.” Castiel says.

Dean’s eyes fill with tears. Hearing to what extent Castiel loved him.

“This is why we need to get rid of him. Do you understand?” Ishim says, digging the blade into Dean’s skin.

“NO!” Castiel yells, there is a sudden flash of light and Ishim’s blade flies across the room.

Dean elbows Ishim in the stomach and moves away from him.

Castiel walks over to him and places his hand on Ishim’s head. He gets a rush of energy, enough for him to smite Ishim.

Ishim falls to the floor, eyes burned out and dead.

Castiel collapse beside him and Dean runs over to him.

“CAS!” He grabs Castiel and lays his head down in his lap. “Cas! Open your eyes. Please, just open your eyes for me. You can’t just tell me you love me and then die on me! Open your eyes!” Dean sobs out.

Just then Sam and Lily run into the room.

Sam rushes over to them, “What the hell happened?” He asks, looking down at them.

Lily goes to Ishim’s body and looks at the wings scorched into the ground.

He was dead. He was finally gone.

“Lily.” Dean says, looking up at her.

She turns to them.

“Please. Help him, please.” Dean says, gesturing to Cas.

She looks at Castiel and then looks at Dean, who was softly cradling Cas’ head in his lap. She didn’t have to help him. In fact, she was here to kill him but, seeing the way Dean was crying over Castiel, seeing the way Castiel had tried to protect Dean made her want to help. Help him save his love, his man, now that she was powerful enough to do it. She couldn’t save her own love but she will help Dean. She could tell that Castiel had changed by being with the Winchesters. She will help them.

She walks over to them and crouches down in front of them.

She places a hand on Castiel’s head and mumbles something in Enochian.

Castiel let out a gasp and blinked open his eyes. He wasn’t completely healed but it was enough to wake him up.

“Cas?” Dean helps him sit up. “Are you okay?”

Castiel looks at Dean with tired eyes and nods.

Dean yanks him into a hug.

“Fuck, I thought I lost you. I’m sorry Cas.”

Castiel doesn’t answer but sinks into Dean’s embrace.

“Cas, c’mon let’s get you home.” Dean says, standing up and then helping Castiel up.

Sam comes to Castiel’s other side and helps them.

Dean looks over to Lily, “Thank you.” He says, tightening his grip on Castiel.

She nods as she watches the brothers help Castiel.

Castiel looks at her with bleary eyes, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” He looks down, breathing heavily. “While it’s true that I didn’t know we were killing an innocent, ignorance is no excuse.” He looks back at her. “I truly can’t imagine the depths of your loss; this was your child.  I can’t imagine the pain. So, if you leave here and you find that you can’t forgive me… I’ll be waiting.”

Lily looks at him with tear filled eyes, overflowing. “Thank you.” She nods at him.

Castiel nods back.

They leave and so does she, hoping to put the past behind them.

*

Dean and Sam walk towards the table, where Castiel was sitting at the end.

Dean puts a beer in front of him, “Here, you earned it.” He says as he walks around him, patting his shoulder and dragging his hand across his back, trying to keep contact as long as possible.

“Oh, well this will do very little for me but I… appreciate the gesture.” He says, as he picks up the beer, looking from Sam, who had situated himself on the table, and then to Dean, who sits down on the chair across from Sam.

“What Ishim said, you’re not weak Cas, you know that, right?” Dean says, looking at him.

Castiel looks away.

“I mean, obviously, you’ve changed, but it’s all been for the better, man.” Sam says, trying to make Cas understand.

“And you’ve been with us every step of this long, crazy thrill ride. And no matter how crazy it got, you never backed down.” Dean explains.

“And that takes real strength.” Sam continues, shaking his head.

“Thank you.” Cas says nodding.

“Cas, I don’t like how the whole Billie thing went down. Okay? I know you think you were doing the right thing. And I’m not mad. I’m worried. Because things like “cosmic consequences” have a habit of biting us in the ass.” Dean explains again, like he did in the motel room.

“I know they do.” Cas says, nodding. “But I don’t regret what I did, even if it costs me my life.” Cas also repeats himself.

“Don’t say that, man.” Sam says looking down, not wanting to think of what would happen if they lost Castiel.

Castiel looks at Sam’s expression and sighs softly, turning his head to look at the map on the table.

Dean decides to change the topic, “So what are you going to do if you find Kelly and, uh, Lucifer Junior?” He asks. Castiel’s gaze move from the table to look at Dean. “It is a Nephilim, right?”

“Oh, no. It’s more than that.” Cas answers, “An ordinary Nephilim is one of the most dangerous beings in creation, but one that’s fathered by an archangel the Devil himself? I…” Cas shakes his head, “I can’t imagine the power.”

“But, Cas, at the end of the it’s a mom and her kid.” Sam says, “I mean, do you… do you think you’ll be able to…” He trails off.

“There was a time when I wouldn’t have hesitated.” Cas says, smiling at himself, thinking of where and what he used to be and where he has come now.

Sam nods.

“But, now, I don’t know.” He answers.

“What are we gonna do?” Dean asks, looking towards Castiel for answers.

“Let’s drink,” Castiel says picking up his bottle. “And hope we can find a better way.” He says, raising his bottle.

Sam and Dean nod before raising their own bottles and taking a drink.

*

A little while later they all head to bed.

Castiel goes to his room and takes off his trench coat and coat, he removes his ties and takes of his shoes. He unbuttons his shirt so he could see where the damage had occurred. He looks down and sees faint bruises, Lily had managed to fix most of his injuries.

He goes to the bed and sits down with his back against the headboard, picking up a book from the bedside table.

An hour later he hears a knock on his door before the knob turns and Dean’s face appears in the doorway.

“Cas?” Dean pokes his head through the door.

“Yes Dean?” Cas says, looking up from his book.

“Are you feeling okay?” Dean asks.

“Yes Dean, I’m fine.” Cas says, putting his book down and gesturing for Dean to come in and sit on the bed.

Dean steps into the room, he was dressed in pajamas and a worn-out t-shirt. He pads over to the bed, feet bare. He settles down on the bed and looks over at Castiel.

“Are you really okay?” Dean asks again.

Castiel frowns, “Yeah Dean.”

Dean chokes on a sob, hand reaching towards Castiel.

Cas grabs Dean’s hand and squeezes, “Dean? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Cas asks, scooting closer to Dean and putting his other hand on his shoulder.

“I almost lost you today, Cas.” Dean whimpers out.

“Oh Dean, come here.” Castiel pulls Dean against his chest. “I’ll always come back to you.” He says.

“I wish you didn’t have to leave in the first place.”

“I’m sorry, Dean. You know I don’t mean to worry you but I can’t ignore my responsibilities either.” Cas says, running a hand through Dean’s hair.

“I know. I’m just being a baby.” Dean sniffles.

“Hey, no, you aren’t. It’s okay to feel like this Dean. It doesn’t make you weak, instead it makes you stronger. I love you okay and I will always find my way back to you.”

Dean nods, “Can I stay with you tonight?” He asks.

Castiel nods, “Of course Dean.”

They settle down and Cas drapes the blanket over the both of them.

“Cas?” Dean whispers out, once everything was quiet.

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.” Was all Dean says.

Castiel smiles and tugs Dean closer.

[rosewhipped22]

s12 Cas/Claire Parallels

We’ve had two big Cas episodes so far this season, Lily Sunder has Some Regrets (12.10) and Stuck in the Middle with You (12.12). I got vibes from both during the Claire-centric episode Ladies Drink Free (12.16).

In 12.10 someone (Lily) is killing angels using special powers, wiping them out for revenge while not having all the facts.  Lily was seeking justice/revenge against the angels who killed her daughter, even though just one angel carried out the task--the other angels appeared guilty by association.

In 12.16 we find out someone (BMoL) is killing werewolves using special advanced tools,  wiping them out to exterminate while not having all the facts.  BMoL were blindly killing all werewolves, even the innocent ones who appeared monstrous just by association.  

Take a look at the dialog between Claire and the werewolf who turns her:

Werewolf: My pack we were happy we didn’t hurt anyone. And then hunters with weapons that I’ve never seen before, they show up and take out twenty of us just like that.  The ones that made it, we split up, but we weren’t meant to live like that.  A werewolf needs his pack. You’ll see I’m a nice guy. Claire: Yeah? You know who says they’re a nice guy? Clingy, insecure bitches with mommy issues. Werewolf: That’s just the change talking. You’ll feel better once you eat. (produces heart) Try it, you’ll like it. (forcing her to eat the heart) As soon as I saw you, I knew you’re just like me. Alone. Claire: (spits on him) Wrong. I have a family, and they love me.

Claire speaking up for herself, defending herself against the jerk werewolf trying to force her into being his new family.  He’s a stranger acting like he knows who she is.  Compare to this scene in 12.10:

ISHIM: You know, when I knew Castiel, he was a soldier. He was a warrior. He was an angel's angel. Now look how far he's fallen. … (Dean glaring and being critical of sugar consumption) ISHIM: No wings, no home. Just a ratty old coat and a pair of poorly trained monkeys. DEAN: Oh. Well, you can go to Hell. CAS: Dean, it's fine. SAM: No. No, it's not. CAS: Sam, this isn't about me. It's about Benjamin.

At that point Cas was still feeling depressed and uncertain about where he fits. Cas doesn’t speak up or defend himself from this ‘friend’ he hasn’t seen in years who is acting like he knows who Cas is. Dean and Sam, his family, do it for him.

Claire knows her place in the world.  She knows who cares about her. 

The other scene that pinged my radar was when Claire was writhing on the couch fighting to survive.  It obviously reminded me of Cas in 12.12.

In 12.12 Dean called for Sam when he realized it was really bad and couldn’t deal with it on his own.  Similarly, in 12.16 Sam calls for Dean when he thinks it’s really bad. Plus, Claire is in a white shirt with a tan sweater.

We have efforts to lighten the mood in both.

Dean: You look like hammered crap. (12.12)  

Claire: You guys look like crap (12.16)

Once Claire is okay Mick calls her “a walking miracle” which is true of Cas too.

12.10 dealt with Cas’s past, 12.12 his present, and we have a third Cas heavy episode coming with 12.19 called The Future.

I don’t know if this is a parallel that can be extrapolated to things we haven’t seen yet, but we know Claire’s episode started with the Winchesters being critical of her decisions (because they care *cough 12.10 cough*) and then she very nearly died as a direct result of the BMOL’s actions/orders (12.12). The episode ended with her optimistic and hopeful, driving off into her future and I’m tentatively hoping that may happen for Cas as well, although it’ll probably come with a lot of pain too because Supernatural and because it won’t be the end of Cas’s story, but maybe the start of something new?

[queerwolfsstuff]

Complete Dean & Castiel Scenes Full Transcription from SPN 12x10 “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets”

You read that right. Because my writing partner @anyrei and I are working on a canon-compliant fic behind the scenes exploration of the relationship between Dean and Castiel, I have transcribed every scene between them in the most recent episode. And since I’m not a greedy bitch, I’m sharing it here for any author or person who wishes to utilize this for reference

12x10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets Transcription of Every Scene between  Dean and Cas.

Scene 1: in the bunker, war room thingie:

Sam: Yeah, I was looking at that earlier. [sighs] Cas has been busy, huh?

Dean: Yeah, busy not finding Kelly Kline or her Rosemary’s baby.

[chair slides as Sam sits down, Dean staring at the board]

Dean (cont): I mean, how’s a chick like this just fall off the map

Sam: Well, I think that’s what he’s trying to figure out. Hey, you, uh, you hear from mom yet?

Dean: Yeah, she called last night, said she’s got a line on a shapeshifter in Atlanta. [Dean moves to lean against table] I said we could come help, and she said, “Don’t bother.” Apparently, she’s “got it”.

Sam: [chuckles] Then she’s probably got it.

Dean: [scoffs] Yeah.

Sam: Mom’s good.

Dean: I just think she’s jumped back into this a little quick, don’t you?

Sam: I don’t think we have the kind of mom who’s gonna stay home and make us chicken soup for dinner, you know?

[beat, Dean looks annoyed.]

Sam: You talk to Cas yet?

Dean: No.

Sam: [scoffs] So, what, you’re just gonna keep walking past each other in the kitchen, not saying a word?

Dean: [not looking up, bringing cup to his mouth] Maybe.

Sam: Look, yes, Cas killed Billie, but he saved us. He saved mom. How long are you gonna stay pissed?

Dean: I’m not pissed that he cares about us, you know. I’m – I’m grateful, but Billie said there would be “cosmic consequences” if that deal got broken. You have any idea what that means?

Sam: No.

Dean: Neither do I. But I’m pretty sure it ain’t jellybeans and g-strings.

Sam: My point is, Cas thought he was doing the right thing.

[footsteps approach, off-camera Cas starts speaking]

Cas: I was doing the right thing.

Dean: [looks in direction of Cas’s voice] You sure about that?

Cas: [still off-screen] Yes.

Dean: [not looking as Cas walks into the shot] Yeah? Well, I’m not so sure. And when the other shoe drops –

Cas: I’ll deal with it.

Dean: [scoffs]

Cas: I have to go.

Sam: [spins in chair following Cas’s path] Got a lead on Kelly?

Cas: [finally turns to face them]: No. This is personal.

Dean: [still not looking at Cas] Meaning what?

Cas: Another angel. An old friend. He called out for help.

Dean: Oh. [turns to face Cas] Good old reliable angel radio.

Cas: He was begging for help and then he just stopped. I need to know if he’s still alive.

Sam: Yeah, [stands up] all right. Well… we’ll come with you.

Cas: [nods slightly and quirks eyebrow at Dean] Both of you?

Dean: [shies away from Cas’s gaze, after a beat responds] Sure. [stands up] Yeah, we could help. [locks eyes with Cas] Gotta make sure you don’t do anything else stupid.

Cas: [sighs and looks away]

Sam: [gives Dean a pointed and slightly frustrated look, silently communicating to Dean to give Cas a break].

Scene 2: in the Impala en route

[car is silent but for the engine of Baby purring]

[Sam looks at Dean, rubs his chin, then looks back at Cas, who looks away from Sam. Sam is obviously uncomfortable]

Sam: All right, who wants music?

Dean: [not taking eyes off of the road] I’m good.

Sam: [looks at Dean in surprise] You– [sighs]

[Cas groans]

Sam: Okay. [after a beat looks back at Cas for a moment] Cas, is there anything specific we should know about your friend?

[Cas pointedly ignores Sam’s question, turning to look out the window]

[Sam closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose]

Sam (cont): All right. Guys, you know what? This – this silent treatment [Cas turns to look at the back of Dean’s head] thing, it’s silly. It’s not gonna work. Whatever we’re walking into, we should, you know, probably have an actual plan.

Cas: [rolls his eyes and sighs] What do you wanna know?

Dean: Oh, he speaks.

Sam: [raises hand in cease and desist motion] Enough. Cas, you said [Cas narrows his eyes at the back of Dean’s head] when you heard Benjamin, he – he was screaming.

Cas: It was um… [voice breaks slightly] Look, Benjamin wouldn’t call for help lightly. And he wouldn’t put himself in harm’s way if he could help it.

Dean: [sarcastic tone] Wow, this Benjamin seems like he’s pretty cool, you know. Like he wouldn’t make any half-cocked, knee-jerk choices.

Cas: [sardonic tone] Yeah, you know what I like about him? Is that he’s sarcastic, but he’s thoughtful and appreciative, too.

Dean: [turns to face Cas, momentarily losing control of Baby] Now what is that supposed to mean?

Sam: Okay, okay, the road, road. Dude, watch the road.

Dean: [turns back to the road, a horn blares in the background, he waves Sam off] I got it.

Sam: [half rolls his eyes before changing the subject] Anything else, Cas?

Cas: [shakes his head and sighs] Benjamin is always very careful. Long ago, he found a powerfully devout vessel in Madrid, and her faith, it… [takes a breath and looks up] she gave him everything – her trust and her body.

Dean: Wait, so Benjamin’s a woman.

Cas: Benjamin is an angel. His vessel is a woman. But it – it’s – it’s more than that. She’s not just a vessel. She’s…

Sam: [look of understanding dons his face] She’s his friend.

Cas: Yeah. Benjamin would never put her in unnecessary danger.

Dean: Okay, well, if this Benjamin is so careful, then what happened?

Cas: I don’t know. That’s what I need to find out.

[Sam looks pointedly at Dean, who’s still staring straight ahead]

Scene 3: in the arcade place Benjamin was killed

Sam: [interrogating the employee there the night of the murder] The police report is calling it a stabbing.

[Cas is looking up at the angel wing burns on the wall]

Man: Sure, yeah. That’s the official story. I mean, I was outside, and… Dead woman? No blood? Come on. [scoffs] And these crazy burn marks? It’s a cult thing, right? That’s why the FBI’s–

Cas: [approaches and interrupts] Get out.

Man: What?

Cas: [stares at man] Get out.

Dean: He means we can take it from here. Thanks. [Dean escorts man out of arcade]

Sam: Yeah.

Dean: [partially off-screen talking to man] We’ll call you when we’re done.

Sam: [looking at Cas in concern] Dude. You all right?

Cas: [shakes head slightly] No. No. Benjamin and I, we fought together. He was… he was a gifted soldier. I don’t know how this could have happened.

Dean: [notices a silver handle protruding from under one of the arcade games, pulls it out, it’s an angel blade] Got something. [approaches Sam and Cas] Looks like we had a little angel on angel action. [hands blade to Cas]

Cas: [takes it and inspects it] This isn’t Benjamin’s blade. [he can hear indistinct whispering, Cas closes his eyes]

Sam: What?

Cas: [presses fingers to his own forehead, eyes still shut as he listens to the whispering from Lily. He opens his eyes, expression troubled] We have to go. Now. [leaves and the Winchesters follow him.

Scene 4: outside of The Wright Spot, some kind of diner

[The three of them exit the car at the same time]

Sam: All right, who we meetin’?

Cas: His name is Ishim. Before I, uh, commanded my own flight of angels, my own battalion, I served under him with Benjamin.

Dean: And you think he knows what’s going on?

Cas: We’ll find out. You wait here.

Dean: Whoa, wait. Excuse me?

Cas: [turns back to face Dean and Sam] Ishim said to come alone. He doesn’t like humans. [Sam quirks an eyebrow in surprise, Dean looks expectant]

[Cas’s expression quickly changes, eyes narrowing, head tilted]

Cas (cont): If I plan to do anything else stupid, I’ll let you know.

[Cas storms off, leaving the Winchesters outside of the diner. Sam turns to face Dean, they exchange a look]

Scene 5: outside of The Wright Spot to inside with Cas and Ishim

[Dean is pacing back and forth in front of the entrance, Sam is leaning against Baby]

Sam: [arms folded across his chest, staring downwards] And you’re gonna storm in right… [Dean gives Sam an annoyed look before facing the entrance and heading for the door] now. [Sam follows]

[doorbell jingles and Cas turns to see them walking into the diner]

Dean: [catches Cas’s look, sitting at a booth with the two angels, and starts walking over, a small smile on his face] Hey.

Cas: [rolls his eyes and responds in an annoyed tone] Dean.

Dean: Feel a little left out over there. Scoot over. [moves to squeeze into the booth, Sam following, the three of them pressed together]

Ishim: [pours a sugar packet into his coffee] I said to come alone.

Cas: [frustrated tone] These are my friends – my friends who don’t listen very well [turns to look pointedly at Dean. Dean smirks]

Sam: How you doin’? I’m–

Mirabel: We know who you are.

Ishim: Check outside to see if there are others.

[Mirabel leaves]

Cas: I only brought Sam and Dean.

Ishim: As far as you know.

Dean: Well, who wants some pie? [looks up at Ishim with a smirk]

Ishim: [continues to pour packet after packet of sugar into coffee mug] You know, when I knew Castiel, he was a soldier. He was a warrior. He was an angel’s angel.

[Dean regards Ishim with a furrowed brow, Sam also appears unamused, slightly more curious than Dean. Cas has a relatively flat affect]

Ishim (cont): Now look how far he’s fallen.

Dean: How about a little coffee with that sugar?

Ishim: [ignores Dean’s intense gaze then turns to Cas] No wings, no home. Just a ratty old coat and a pair of poorly trained monkeys.

Dean: [eyebrows briefly shoot up in a challenge] Oh. Well, [slowly lifts eyes and holds Ishim’s gaze, flat affect] you can go to Hell.

Cas: Dean, it’s fine.

Sam: [looks over at Cas, expression upset] No. No, it’s not.

Cas: Sam, this isn’t about me. It’s about Benjamin.

Ishim: Now that is refreshingly accurate. But since you brought a couple of extra “people” to our little chit chat, we should go somewhere more private. I have a safe house nearby. [Ishim stands, pulling out some money, looking down at Cas] I’ll go get Maribel. [bills rustling] So nice to see you, old friend. [tosses cash on table in front of Dean] Have some pie.

[Dean looks down at the cash, shrugs, contemplative expression on his face, then moves to grab the money]

Sam: [moves to other side of table] Wow. [clears throat] Hell of a friend, Cas.

Dean: [turns to look at Cas, expression concerned] Why do you let him talk to you like that?

Cas: If Ishim can help me find whoever killed Benjamin, then I have to.

Dean: Okay, yeah, look I-I get that we need super dick there, but, I mean, come on [Dean leans back, looking at Cas with an expression of disbelief]

Cas: The angels that I served with are being killed. So, I will put up with Ishim, I will put up with everything else, and so will you. I have to go. [Cas pushes at Dean to let him out of the booth, Sam looks down, shaking his head, Dean gets out to let Cas out]

[now outside, back alley after Lily has killed Maribel and attempted to kill Ishim. Cas intervenes, striking her with his angel blade. They make eye contact, Cas has a flashback of a memory]

Cas: I know you. [Cas approaches Lily while she’s on the ground, she kicks him into the wall]

[Sam and Dean round the corner, guns at the ready]

Sam: Hey! [they cock their guns]

Lily: I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt any human. Just let me finish what I started.

Dean: Yeah, not gonna happen, Patches.

Scene 6: in an abandoned church

Cas: [approaching Ishim, who is laid out on a dilapidated sofa] Ishim, let me tend to your wound.

Ishim: [covers wound with shirt and shifts away] I’m fine.

Cas: [sighs deeply] Ishim, how is she still alive?

Sam: [looks up in surprise] Wait a second. You know her?

Cas: Yes.

Ishim: You don’t owe them an explanation.

Dean: Okay, hang on now. Uh, One-eyed Willy back there wasn’t trying to kill us. She was after you. So talk before she kicks in the damn door.

Cas: [appears reticent] Before the apocalypse, angels, um… [shakes head] well, we rarely came to Earth.

Sam: Yeah, uh, basically never, right?

Cas: Right, except this once. [shakes head] Many years ago, there was an anomaly.

Sam: An anomaly?

Ishim: They won’t understand.

Dean: [looks at Cas] Cas, what’s going on?

[flashback to Orono, Maine - 1901]

Sam: [hand over his mouth, clearly shocked, draws back] Cas, you, um…

Cas: We completed a mission. [Looks up at Sam, who isn’t looking back]

Dean: Some mission.

Cas: It was horrific, but it was necessary. It was right.

Dean: [quirks an eyebrow in disbelief] Well, you say so.

[Cas stares at Dean for a beat, who is not making eye contact with Cas]

Sam: And the woman?

Ishim: Lily Sunder. She was a professor of Apocalyptic Literature. Studied angels, speaks fluent Enochian. I took mercy on her by letting her live.

Dean: And now she wants revenge.

Sam: I mean, she’s gotta be what, 100 years old?

Cas: No. More.

Dean: Yeah, but somehow she’s still kicking ass?

Ishim: No. Not somehow. I know what she’s up to. She made some kind of demonic pact. Keeps her young, keeps her strong. Keeps her immune from our powers.

Dean: All right, but we’ll find her, me and Sam.

Cas: [looks at Dean imploringly] No, Dean.

Dean: Cas, she doesn’t care about us, okay? She’s gunning for you guys.

Sam: Yeah, maybe we can reason with her.

Cas: Uh, four dead angels indicate that perhaps she is not reasonable. If she has this dark power, it will take all of us to fight her. [turns to Ishim] And I need to heal your wound.

Sam: Wait – wait a second, Cas. Her family was murdered. I mean, I-I know you were just doing a job, but–

Cas: Are you saying that those angels deserved to die? [turns to look up at Sam]

Sam: [expression distressed] What?

Cas: You think I deserve to die?

Dean: No, no. That’s not what he’s saying.

Cas: [turns to look at Dean] What is he saying?

Sam: I’m saying maybe if we find her [stutters slightly], we can explain to her that you’re different, you know?

Cas: [addresses Sam] Sam, that won’t work. She won’t quit. [Sam makes a put-out face, mouth agape] Think about it, would you?

Ishim: Castiel’s right. It won’t work.

Sam: We have to try.

Dean: He’s right. And we’re not askin’. [Dean and Sam get up and leave]

Scene 7: in abandoned church again, after Sam and Dean find Lily and find out the truth

Dean: [walks into the church through a door and notices Cas, he approaches] Cas?

[Cas is sitting, head in his hand, he groans. Dean approaches and moves to sit beside him] Hey, you okay?

Cas: [sighs] Yeah, I’m fine. [nods] And Ishim is fully recovered.

Dean: [draws back, slightly wary] Yeah, okay. Uh, maybe wish you hadn’t a done that just yet.

Cas: Wait, why?

Dean: [faces Cas] This Lily chick? Says that her daughter was human.

[Cas squints his eyes, perplexed; Dean continues] I think Ishim… I think he’s playing you.

[Cas’s expression is solemn, slightly surprised]

Ishim: You’re back.

[Dean and Cas look at Ishim, Cas’s brow furrowed with distrust] So what’s new?

Cas: [moves to stand, Dean helps him] Is it… is it true, Ishim? [Dean holds onto Cas’s arm, Cas’s expression is angry, accusatory]

Ishim: Is what true?

Cas: [approaches Ishim] Lily Sunder’s daughter, was she human?

Ishim: Who told you that?

Dean: She did. [Dean and Cas slowly approach Ishim side by side] Said you were pretty obsessed.

Ishim: [swaggers up to them] Well, she’s a liar.

Cas: Why would she lie?

Ishim: She’s human. It’s kinda what they do.

Dean: [expression and tone of disbelief] Well, if she’s a liar, she’s pretty good at it. You, on the other hand, kind of suck.

Ishim: [looks at Cas, tone defensive] Who are you gonna believe? Your brother? Or some filthy ape?

[Cas looks at Dean, Dean’s expression is unamused]

Ishim (cont): Who’s always talking down to you, always mocking you.

Dean: You know, Cas and I might not agree all the time. [Cas looks at Dean] but at least he knows who his real friends are.

Cas: [turns back to Ishim, eyes narrowed and head tilted] Why do his words bother you so much, Ishim?

Ishim: Who is he to question my choices? Who is he to question yours?

Cas: [steps closer to Ishim] Well, it seems some of my choices may need to be questioned. [voice getting angrier, louder] Now tell me. The girl – was she human?

Ishim: Oh, you’re not gonna like the answer.

[Dean pulls out an angel blade and approaches, Ishim uses his powers to fling Dean back against a wall, fight ensues between Cas and Ishim. Ishim is winning. Cas is sprawled out and Ishim yanks him forward by his coat]

Ishim (cont): I used to envy you, Castiel. You believe that?

[punches Cas again, Cas headbutts him, Dean slices his own palm to paint an Enochian banishing sigil onto the wall with his blood]

Ishim (cont): You survived Hell. You were chosen by God. [continues to beat the ever loving shit out of Cas] But now look at you. You’re just sad and pathetically weak. [clocks Cas again, Cas collapses against a pew] So now… [adjusts tie and vest] I’m gonna help you. I’m gonna cure you of your human weakness… same way I cured my own – [pulls angel blade out] by cutting it out.

[Ishim approaches Dean as Cas is barely able to keep his eyes open. Dean retreats slightly]

Dean: Don’t move. [hand hovers over the banishing sigil]

Ishim: Do it. You blast me away, you’ll blast away every angel in the room. [Cas is laid out against a turned over pew, he turns to look at Dean] I’ll survive. Castiel, on the other hand, he’s hurt. [Dean looks to Cas] He might live or he might just end up a bloody smear on the wall. [Dean looks conflicted] Roll the dice. [Dean scowls and slowly lowers his hand from the sigil, Ishim smirks] Yeah, that’s what I thought.

[Lily shows up, fight ensues, ass kickings and finally, Cas ganks Ishim]

[Lily is standing over Ishim’s dead body. Sam, Dean, and Cas are off to the side]

Sam: All right, so, uh… [sniffs] what now?

Dean: He’s dead. Are you done?

Lily: [turns to face them] Revenge is all I’ve had for over 100 years. It’s what I am.

Dean: Wrong answer. You’re done. [scowls]

Cas: [shuts eyes] Dean [sighs]. [addresses Lily] I’m sorry. I was wrong [Dean watches Cas, expression concerned and annoyed] And… while it’s true that I didn’t know we were killing an innocent, ignorance is no excuse. [stands to approach Lily] I truly can’t imagine the depths of your loss. This was your child. I can’t imagine the pain. So if you leave here and you find that you can’t forgive me… I’ll be waiting.

Lily: Thank you.

Scene 8: back in the bunker, war room

[Dean and Sam walk into the warroom. Dean is holding a beer. They approach where Cas is sitting.]

Dean: [places the beer in front of Cas] You earned it. [Claps Cas on the shoulder, caressing slightly before walking behind and around him, Sam moves to sit on the table facing Cas]

Cas: [grabs beer] Well, this will do very little for me, but I-I appreciate the gesture.

Dean: [moves to sit in the chair next to Cas] What Ishim said… You’re not weak, Cas. You know that, right? [fixes his gaze on Cas, expression serious]

[Cas shies away from Dean’s stare, expression solemn]

Sam: I mean, obviously, you’ve changed, but it’s all been for the better, man. [Sam gives Cas a sympathetic smile]

Dean: And you have been with us every step of this long, crazy thrill ride. And no matter how crazy it got, you never backed down.

Sam: And that takes real strength.

Cas: [looks between the brothers before looking down at the table] Thank you.

Dean: Cas, I don’t like how the whole Billie thing went down. Okay? I know you think you were doing the right thing. And I’m not mad. I’m worried. Because things like “cosmic consequences” have a habit of biting us in the ass. [Dean stares pointedly at Cas]

Cas: [nods as he keeps Dean’s gaze] I know they do. But I don’t regret what I did, even if it costs me my life.

Sam: [turns head away, expression of staunch refusal and slightly sad] Don’t say that, man.

Dean: So what are you gonna do if you find Kelly and, uh, Lucifer junior? [Dean and Cas lock eyes again] It is a Nephilim, right?

Cas: [shakes his head] Oh, no. It’s more than that. An ordinary Nephilim is one of the most dangerous beings in all of creation. But one that’s fathered by an archangel, the Devil himself? I… I can’t imagine the power. [Dean looks away, unsure and worried]

Sam: But, Cas, at the end of the day, it’s a mom and her kid. I mean, do you – do you think you’ll be able to…

Cas: [looks down with a somewhat sad expression] There was a time when I wouldn’t have [smiles in fond reminiscence, lets out a soft chuckle] hesitated. [shake his head] But now I don’t know.

[Sam gives Cas a sad smile, Dean inhales and changes the subject]

Dean: So what are we gonna do?

Cas: [clucks his tongue and grabs his beer] Let’s drink, and hope we can find a better way.

[Cas salutes Sam and Dean with his beer]

Destiel Bonus:

Lines said in the episode when they were separated.

Cas [to Ishim]: My friendship with Sam and Dean has made me stronger.

Dean [to Lily]: See, Cas is our family, so we can’t let you hurt him.