#it actually looks insane irl I'm so happy

[eleonorpiteira]

Weight of a Feather, Assassin's Creed: Origins fanart, watercolour and acrylic gouache on hot press paper, 17.8 x 25.4 cm

This is one of those that I don't care if no one likes it, or if there are obvious mistakes/things that don't make sense, I'm proud of myself for managing to do it traditionally and that's that. It's for no one but me, I'm just sharing it with you :)

I started it in 2021, even began to paint it, but burnout is a bitch and I couldn't finish it then. Recently I decided to see if I could complete it traditionally and this is the result! It was inspired by a screenshot I took where Bayek's face is entirely in shadow. I then added elements that relate to Ma'at, the goddess of truth and justice, and the ceremony of the Weighing of the Heart, where she'd weigh a dead person's heart against her ostrich feather, to see if they were worthy of going on to the Field of Reeds (a sort of paradise). (Egyptologists don't @ me 😭)

[lonesomedotmp3]

miss having a huge crush on my close friend when I was sixteen that was so good bad good bad evil good for me

[heartgold]

as much as it's frustrating how only two of the umi episodes were penned by Sayo in the irl layer, I think it's fascinating to compare them with each other because so much becomes clear when you look at the writing choices in each one side by side

the specific ways in which Legend and Turn differ from each other makes me certain that one was among the first message bottles she wrote whereas the other was one of the last, but it's not clear which is which -- it depends on how you interpret her internal journey and process of creating all these tales and fragments. Sayo's writing as a whole is very marked by her personal observations of the sins and struggles of the family and using them as mirrors to actually write about herself, using characters as stand-ins that give voice to her own inner thoughts, but both stories are very different in tone and approach

Legend feels almost methodical with the ways the murders and illusions are carried out, and the way her resentment manifests is more controlled, understated. you need to wring it around a bit more to 'see', but in my understanding: it's interesting how the 3 cousins are all made to suffer incredible grief losing their parents and love interests in quick succession (Battler being the only adult cousin who only lost his parents and not a love interest feels important to get him to remember!), but they live until the end then get invited to the Golden Land and choose to resurrect their lost love. By contrast, Natsuhi is put through the wringer through and through while being given the opportunity to be the star of the episode with her struggles as a woman taking the center of the stage, only to lose a duel (!) to Beatrice and be denied entry in the very last moment. there's a lot of conflicting emotions all over the place in both cases which is of course very characteristic of Sayo but I'm fascinated by how the cousins' entire role in this episode is to lose everything they had, experience earth-shattering grief and be led towards a romanticized afterlife where they can heal that grief, making the choice to resurrect the love that was lost, whereas Natsuhi's role is to mirror and portray Sayo's actual interiority and struggles (many that were caused by Natsuhi herself!) that went unspoken her whole life and then be challenged to a duel and get shot. to shoot Natsuhi is to shoot herself. shooting her actual personhood and interiority and struggles to death. as a metaphor for the entire ceremony of Beatrice's revival being a suicide in order to pass on into the afterlife where compartmentalized parts of herself can simultaneously exist as whole and find happiness with their respective love interests. the final step of rejecting reality, seeking love by truly becoming fictional while the human heart of the actress behind the characters dies buried between the lines of the text unless you 'see' it. god she makes me insane. anyway

Turn by comparison is very brutal. Beatrice steps onto the gameboard and is at her cruelest here, and the deliberate narrative choices are dripping with anger, helplessness and sorrow. everything about the focus given to Rosa in her role as the main accomplice who only had eyes for gold vs the framing of the tragedy as the gift of a halloween party for Maria, the wolves and sheep allegory, the way Shannon and Kanon get repeatedly kicked around for trying to resist their fate and wanting to believe in love despite everything. Kanon's "corpse" being desecrated by being forcefully resurrected twice, not being allowed death. the barely contained sexual conflict and trauma in the themes and imagery all over the episode. the way Sayo personally kills Jessica and George and her personas are killed along with them, an utter rejection of the possibility of being loved in reality as something that can only happen in death and fiction, so they all get to die together and be connected by their souls, all portrayed as the innocent victims of a vicious witch. the unspoken horror of one of the few true closed rooms in the game, with Sayo physically killing herself while facing herself in the mirror after doing all that. no one could dispute that a coffin is a closed room. and with closed rooms in this game often symbolizing being trapped in your own logic even though the door was unlocked all along, it absolutely stands for Sayo giving up all hope. Beatrice won, the gold won, the family's curse won, Sayo's worst feelings regarding herself won. Kinzo won too, even as a dead puppet haunting the narrative, he 'lives' to the end and gets his miracle of meeting Beatrice granted again. just that says a lot. Turn is horror after horror and you can only fully grasp that with the context for her writing choices

Legend feels relatively composed and deliberate in its choices of allegory. it also carries a lot of pain and conflicted feelings (particularly with the way she hatewrote Battler in it) but the text in Turn is basically bleeding all of her self hatred and suicidality and conflict over the idea of being loved. Legend is for the most part a straightforward mystery embellished in illusions with her heart still very baked into the text, and it has a big focus on solvability (Eva as the main accomplice basically points Battler toward the solution... which he rejects) and gambling/risk-taking, with multiple moments where Sayo left things out of her hands and up to chance, making it so that she could've been stopped even by accident. and then Turn is basically an eruption of all the horrible feelings churning in her heart. it says a lot that in Legend, she left the people she loved the most alive until the end, as if hoping until the very end for the miracle that at least one of them would see through her and stop her from murdering them, while Turn kills off the cousins (barring Battler due to being the detective) and then herself before the ceremony even ends, destroying all outcomes beyond utter annihilation. Turn is absolutely about her surrendering and leaning right into the illusion she casts on herself of being an irredeemable monster, so Beatrice absolutely plays into that role here. fitting that it ends with Battler surrendering, too

the sheer tonal contrast between these two message bottles tells a story of the journey of how Sayo's mental state changed as she kept writing and running over her murder-suicide plans over and over again -- it can either show her hope and composure deteriorating as she resigned herself to accepting her dead-end of fate (Legend -> Turn) OR the raw emotion she felt in the beginning of the writing frenzy dissipating as she kept going, any result being a satisfactory outcome but still focusing on planning out a difficult but fair mystery, staking her hopes onto the miracle of having it solved by the person who shared her personal philosophy on mysteries (Turn -> Legend). I don't like relying on Confessions too much as "confirmation" of Sayo-related things because it doesn't sit well with me, but if you go by the way it portrayed the process, then it strongly suggests the latter explanation

wish we could have seen more of the countless tales she personally wrote because you can see so much of her personhood hidden within the text, her thought processes, personal views and authoral voice all providing characterization, but the two we got already tell entire untold stories. it's funny that the two first episodes are usually thought of as the least interesting ones on a first read when they're the ones with the most firsthand insight into the culprit's heart and how she felt about everything. the sorrows and pain but the strength of will and hope too

[khookn]

I’ve been lurking your account for awhile and really like your Clone High oc!!! Can we get some more info/lore?

I'M SOOO EXCITED YOU WANT TO HEAR MORE ABOUT MY SUN TZU CLONE OH!!! Sorry if this isn't very clear it's because I'm not good with this sort of stuff I've had since August so like I got so so much

I'LL BE HAPPY TO ANSWER TO MORE IF NEED BE I HAVE SO MUCH SO CLICK BELOW FOR THE WORD WALL YOU'RE ABOUT TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR!! :D

His inspiration stems from a lot of things like my irl friends, him being the opposite of Confucius, other stuff and a bit of the clonefather himself so yeah it's a doozy how much I got.

So, baseline is because he's a clone of the war general, strategist and philosopher I was like "yeah no this dude would mostly be a gamer for stuff that requires strategy and winning like League of Legends (I'm sorry)", I pin him as the type of gamer who'd have hundreds of games on steam clocking no less than 300 hours each and has a huge variety of stuff he plays but he can't stand some like minecraft because the world is too vast for him. Also he likes playing his games ranked and he's a rather good sport in games.

So like you know the shadow government right, like because Sun Tzu is one of those clones who in fact inherited the talents of their clonefathers and is able to utilize it really well, they're like "ohhh shit he could actually be like the legendary general of his clonefather" but he doesn't care at all he uses whatever tactic and strategy and psychology wit he inherited into gaming.

He's a pretty well known name because he's insane when it comes to gaming and winning esports competitons and whatnot so it brings to Confucius right because Confucius would've caught wind of it and want to grab him to do podcasts with him, in attempts to buttering Sun into doing so he got attached and clingy along the way and his entire dynamic with Sun just wound up being that because Sun doesn't actually have that many friends thanks to his gaming hyperfixation.

And like upbringing is,,, how do I put this

His upbringing like, his foster parents right, is different from confu in the sense I want it to be a household where he feels loved despite not having shown it because everyone's got their own boundaries. In my head, dad, mom, 3 triplet brothers so his dad looks like dude nukem, mom is a psych op, brothers look like replica toy soldiers, navy, airforce and field soldier respectively. The reason why he just wound up being a gamer was due to hand me downs from his brother and he got so hyperfixated at it he'd rather do nothing but that. Like he has nothing to do with the theme and aesthetic his family got like it's to the point the interior of the house is hella military heavy and shit and if you go into sun tzu's room it's soundproofed RTX light hell. Organized mess setup.

His personality I'd say is very blunt and direct, doesn't really care about his image, he's mellow but has a rather hyperactive side to him too, his temper is rather calm nerve but can be flicked like a switch but it's so hard to really do so but if he's angered he's sure to actually scare people without having to raise his fists. He knows how to talk people into submission and such if he really has to I think. His gaming addiction certainly did stunt or inhibit a lot of aspects in him but he doesn't really mind it as long as he has fun.

He's the kind of guy who'd be good at everything he does pretty easily but it doesn't seem to matter because like all he does is play video games for like bajillions of hours so it's not like it's really going to go anywhere but there so he's like, someone you know has potential but depending on how, or well, how the shadow government sees it is wasted potential.

He's super camera shy and has stage fright so he's not very good at performing for a crowd, he's also cursed whenever it comes to being in a camera because whenever his picture gets taken it wounds up scary or blurry and he's unable to fake a smile for the camera and while he likes taking pictures it's just that pictures taken by him are often garbage too like, when he takes food pics, it's AFTER he's eaten so people won't even be able to tell what he has eaten and that he just generally doesn't give that much thought into it either.

Few additional quirks include that he's aroace, he could actually get in shape very easily if he wanted to but since he's sitting on a gaming chair most of the time he just wound up tubby, if he were to exercise it's freakishly quick but he can also return to being chubby too. He's also severely addicted to G-Fuel even if it doesn't really work with him.

In regards to gaming he's able to not sleep for days at a time just to play over the sheer will but in turn he would have to sleep a lot when he's completely tired like he's THAT PASSIONATE (addicted).

Idk if this is understandable or anything but wow this is a word wall but I know I have a lot more than that I'm just not used to doing text posts. I'd be happy to answer other stuff regarding him!

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

I feel like you have made such a safe space and I really need to tell you my IRL Erik moment after reading about my girl with fairytale ending with her bestie <3

Um.. I thought I gave pretty good head y'all. Truly I did. But then last week I came face to face with a man who humbled the fuck out of me and my knees are still so weak still from his presence. 🫠

Ok so boom! I was on my period and we had been flirting for awhile so although we agreed to hang out my master plan was originally to come in the door looking good, charm him with my wit, and give him some bomb sloppy toppy to blow his mind and make him really be feenin for wanting to fuck me later on.... I know, I know. I was trying to be on my femme fatale Charlie's Angel shit and failed miserably 🙄

Hunny did I ever get humbled so quickly. I'll keep it short but BABY let me tell you the shock in my soul when I saw it...he has the longest dick I've ever seen in person. Like I seriously had my two hands cranking at the base and still had a mouth full of dick at the top. It was insane.

I walked in with confidence and walked out as happy and broken woman lmfao. We were kissing and touching and I told him I wanted to take care of him. He asked how and when he realized what I wanted to do he was like "ok ma but if u want that ur gonna have to pull him out" so me being me went straight to pull that shit out. No going back.

I was feeling myself at first. In my head like go meeeee mini superhead!! I got this boo.

I think he was amused by my attempts to swallow him y'all I could tell he was enjoying it but my deep throat was leaving some dick unsucked and he wanted more from me

Next thing I know this man is standing on the bed. One hand on the ceiling and the other is gently on the back of my head guiding me so he can fuck my mouth. TRAINING MY THROAT. 😭 He was sticking it down my throat until I gasped for air and he pulled out and then he did it over and over again.... 😫 It worked too cuz when he laid me back on the bed and told me to try again baby I was down on that thang further than I knew I could handle. I knew at that moment I fucked up and this man was not there to play with me and also that I must be a real freak cuz I loved every minute of that shit. I felt myself getting creamy from getting him off. Lord.

He really claimed my mouth and I'm not even mad about it. Then he has the nerve to be able to stop himself from cumming WELL so I was getting my throat fucked for like 40 mins 🥴 so yeah mission failed but he did nut and I sucked that shit down like it was the sweetest prize I've ever won! I worked hard for that!!! It felt so powerful to see him submit to me for even a second. This powerful man gave me some of his power in that moment and it tasted so sweet too lol

THE ICING ON THE CAKE? When we were done he takes a towel and gets some warm water on it and starts cleaning my face GENTLY.... INTIMATELY.... Staring me in my eyes while he slowly wiped my mouth, eyebrows, bridge of nose 😭😭😭😭

So yeah I'm in lust now. This is how stalkers are created I just know it....smfh

We are on opposite schedules so idk when I'll see him again. He tried to hit me up yesterday but I couldn't get to him and I was kicking myself. I'm off myself and ready to get dicked down 😭 I feel like such a stalker though cuz this man has me in an actual chokehold just from that.

Sorry I didn't edit this!! Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. I feel better now 🥹

Y'all please pray I get some help soon lmao

😩😩🥵🥵😭😭🤯🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

“Okay ma but if you want that you’re gonna have to pull him out.”

Bruh!!!!!!! And the after care while staring you in the eyes on some “that’s my good girl.” Shit?!!!!!’

This was too damn good!!!!!

Thanks for sharing!

[nanowired-lover]

LUPIN III's Pokemon Teams

Okay, I'm having thoughts about Lupin III and Pokémon, so I tried to make some Pokémon teams / lore with my sweet Pokémon nerd girlfriend.

There are probably a few Pokémon lore mistakes bc I tried to synthesize and my gf knows more than me, plus probably a few mistranslations since I mostly know Pokémon in french, but bear with me !

Aipom : It's just. It's just Lupin. There are a LOT MORE monkey Pokémons than I thought, but Aipom matches the most. It's his best friend. He probably got him a matching suit because it's cute and fun and Aipom loves this.

Even if Gholdengo has been here the longest time because he inherited it, Aipom was his first real pokemon. He just found it as a kid and they became friends because they “recognized” each other, to his father dismay.

Klefti : The whole escape thing. I hesitated to give it to Zenigata, bc of the whole prison cell vibes, but I loved the more whimsical idea of Lupin having the key to every door : his Klefti.

He got it during his heists ! The lil thing probably followed him around after an adventure because it helped Lupin escapes, and Arsène just took it in since he got attached. (I also just really like that pokemon)

Gholdengo : It's a treasure pokemon really. It's made of gold and it looks silly. Fujiko probably tried to steal it from him sometimes until at one point where Lupin got genuinely upset about it, much to her surprise, and she stopped. She still makes jokes about it, but Lupin knows it's jokes. It was there before Aipom, so it's more like an old friend.

Lupin probably inherited from his grandpa of Gimmighoul and got attached to it, and later in life, as he started to travel, tried to find others to have a Gholdengo. And he did it :) He was so happy when it was finally evolving, because it meant that his friend grew up with him, and he did better with it than his grandpa.

NOT PICTURED HERE : Lupin is linked to Ho oh. He's a lucky bastard and the main character. Ho oh probably saved him in situation where Lupin's intelligence and talent couldn't save him anymore (think the scene at the end of Lupin III : The First where he could've died in the Eclipse explosion). There's a strong mutual respect between them, but Lupin, being silly, want to pet the bird, which get him to get pecked in the hair for being annoying. Ho oh never stays but look after him.

(I have no/less lore for his team but anyway)

Clawitzer : AKA a shrimp with guns. Its name in French is literally Gamblast. It's the first pokemon that came in my mind when I was thinking guns. Probably his first pokemon he caught with Lupin. I just pictured young Lupin being like "CATCH IT. IT'S LIKE YOU FR" "BUT I DON'T HAVE A POKEMON" "OKAY I'LL FIGHT IT FOR U" "WHAT."

Honchkrow : Jigen Pokemon sona ? /j No but really, it's the hat and the chest looking like a beard and the color palette that made me think of Jigen. The thing is probably as grumpy as he is, but like Jigen, actually a fucking softy. Jigen passed out in its feathers multiple times because it's so good. Hug a big bird, I beg you, it's so warm.

Lycanroc : Listen. If you know me irl, you know that I'm insane about the allegories and metaphors about wolves / wild dogs. I love people writing Jigen like an old feral dog, so loyal and so angry, like. Gah. So of course I had to give him a wolf/dog pokemon. What's better than literally a Lycanroc. He probably met it when they were staying in Alola for a heist, a night he couldn't sleep and just. Stared at each other. A weird recognition happening.

Lupin probably found him multiple times, treating that edgy looking dog like a good lil doggy when none is looking, bc that's what both Jigen and Lycanroc deserve. He loves it and took pictures because it's adorable.

NOT PICTURED HERE : we had a thought with Micka (my gf) how he was linked to Raikou. It's mostly because Lupin is linked to Ho oh, and I'm sorry, but I don't know the lore enough to really explain it, I just believe my wife. But they probably don't really get along, in a funny way. We had a whole scene where they were yelling at each others, Raikou roaring and at one point Jigen roaring back, Lupin wanted to interrupt bc what the fuck Jigen, and Jigen just "roared" at him, making him jump LMFAO. Jigen then disappeared in his hat of shame because yes indeed, what the fuck Jigen. (Raikou was pleased)

(okay, not too much lore either, I think. But I wanted a team that was Combat and/or Dragon based for Goe)

Magikarp : *sigggggh* Listen… I was going to give him Gyarados, but I had a laughing fit about him finding a Magikarp and getting weirdly attached to it. It's the only pokemon he keeps in a pretty and high quality pokeball bc he wants to keep it safe. He loves his weird pathetic red fish but gets quickly flustered and embarrassed when someone noticed that it's his fav baby. He tries to train it to become a Gyarados, bc Magikarp wants to be a Gyarados (and make papa proud !) but... it sucks so much it's funny.

Greninja/Lucario/Sawk : he had them in his samurai training and adventures. Honestly, a lot of pokemons would have fit Goemon too but those 3 were the ones that stand out to me. There's a whole respectful dynamic between them, and they don't have any pokeballs, so they wander a lot. He rarely has the 3 of them together, most of the time he has one, but they will always come if he needs them.

(also Greninja is one of my favorite pokemon and starter and idk why I really like Sawk)

He can make his Lucario Mega Evolve, but he doesn't do it much out of respect and trust since it's always a mess. (also if Magikarp ever evolves… he would definitely be able to Mega Evolve it)

Drampa : it's an old Asian dragon, it fits him. Probably also a comfort pokemon since Drampa is very calm and placid, so it wraps around him to calm him down when he feels like exploding (think also about the autistic HC for Goemon and Drampa being a fucking. weighted blanket)

NOT PICTURED HERE : Goe is definitely linked to Rayquaza. The mental image is way too cool to let it pass. The first time Rayquaza appeared during a fight, Lupin (being Goemon biggest hypeman) cheered so loudly that Goemon was quickly red of embarrassment.

(I really don't have much for Fujiko my bad)

Nickit : okay, I haven't played to Pokemon SW/SH at ALL, so I don't know much about pokemons from Galar (except Runerigus being one of my favorite pokemon), but when I saw this fox ? I knew it was for Fujiko. It's a thief fox. She actually deserves all the foxes of the game, and I hesitated to give her Vulpix or Ninetales, but Vulpix is too… cute. And Ninetales is related to yokai and even if it's basically Fujiko as a yokai, I didn't want to go for this vibe. Also, I hesitated to give her Braixen/Delphox bc I called mine Fujiko as I restarted Pokemon X/Y, but. heh. It doesn't really match.

Cofagrigus : My gf told me to put this one to remind the fact that Fujiko loves gold and treasure… but she can be scary powerful sometimes. And she would love to have a partner that can remind people of that. A bit like when she grabs Goemon around to be her scary bodyguard.

She takes really good care of it, and it LOVES her so much. A bit too protective, and scary, but also very silly since it's following her like her shadow and obey her to the spot.

Mienshao : I want a ""lady"" pokemon since Fujiko's hyperfeminity is important to her character (even if it's been used grossly too many times. Fujiko sweetie i'm so sorry you've been written by a misogynistic man). But also one that fitted her fighting style and presence. She probably trains with it, not only for pokemon fights, but for actual martial combat technics !

NOT PICTURED HERE : As Jigen is being linked to Raikou because Lupin was chosen by Ho oh, Fujiko is linked to Suicune. And if you want to know where Entei is, it's linked to my gf's OC Zack who made his way into the polycule in the RP we're doing 😔

Stoutland : This is basically him a Pokemon. The police force insisted he take an Arcanine since it's basically the police's pokemon in the pokemon world, but Zenigata still felt icky about being associated with the police all the time (this is an ACAB blog. Zenigata is just fucking naive and old-fashioned and fixated on the Lupin's chase). But he still had to have a dog pokemon to work with him. So he just. Insisted on having his family dog.

The Stoutland is an old, silly, determined dog. A bit like Zenigata and very loyal to him BUUUUT can be bribed with good food and pets, much to Zenigata exasperation, because Lupin managed to befriend the doggy.

Honedge : LISTENNNNNN AEGISLASH IS MY FAVORITE POKEMON. AND I LOVE ALL OF HIS EVOLUTION CHAIN. But !! To me, he has an old Honedge who never got to evolve because his previous owners (Zeni's family) didn't take care of it and just. Exposed it as a trophy. Then when Zenigata got him, the poor thing was too tired and old to actually fight and gain experience. But it still wanted to go on an adventure with Zenigata !! And Zenigata did give him some fantastic adventures.

And it's an obvious reference to Zenigata's jutte, bc I really picture him holding Honedge like his jutte.

NOT PICTURED HERE : as the rest of the gang, Zenigata is linked to a legendary pokemon. And it's Lugia. Mostly because it's the complimentary legendary pokemon of Lupin's Ho oh ! When they found out, it was when Lugia saved Zenigata from drowning during a chase happening at sea. While he was in awe and being emotional about it, Lupin was VIBRATING with excitement when he saw that. Because !! Zenigata was right !!! It's fate that they are rivals !!! It's amazing !!!

Anyway, I could go into a bigger rant about it, but it's already very long !

[kayrockerqog]

okay this is gonna be my general reaction post for episodes 2-4 of the reboot, so spoilers are UNDER. THE. CUT.

okay so one: I have never been more conflicted about a ship in my fucking life

this is ripaxel specific, because of course it is, what else would we be talking about here

on the one hand, no, not in a million years, what are the writers thinking, what insanity is this, I'm so confused and not in a good way at all

but on the OTHER hand...he did opt for using something she liked in a unique way to get her attention, and was like, mega cringefail about it but it still worked??? SHE liked it??? that's the important part.

so???? i'd have to see further how they progress with this before I decide, because oh god was the secondhand embarrassment horrifying during these past few episodes

now, two: caleb and priya

cute pairing! great potential. but GIRL IF I AM NOT FEARING FOR THAT GIRL'S EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW!!!! I CANT TELL IF HE'S LIKE GENUINELY LEADING HER ON FOR AN ALLIANCE OR JUST FUCKING STUPID AND DOESNT REALIZE SHE'S LIKE, INTO HIM INTO HIM!!! if he hurts her I'm suing, I'm going insane, he will be dead by dawn

three: rajbow + Wayne and the in-game cheating

again, never been so conflicted in my life, me and Bowie are twinning

on the one hand, I am SO glad he's like actually conflicted and doesn't like lying to Raj. Again, surpassing my expectations on behalf of the writers because I would've 100% expected them to make him lean into cheating without repercussions

on the other...Raj and Wayne being upset about cheating actually makes ME kinda upset despite how much I adore MK and Julia's antics!!! like!!!! the boys just want a fair fun game!!!!! how can you say no to those faces???? they're like puppies I stg

i AM relieved this is like, a cheating in the GAME plot and not a cheating in the RELATIONSHIP plot because that is ALSO a TD Taboo and I was afraid, they're still adorable and have an actual narrative, god bless

four: mkulia

canon, it's canon, idk what else you want me to say man

also, very important MK image

look at her go... i love her actually

five: sha-lightning round

Millie and Damien's entire feud and make-up was surprisingly well done!! and despite the fact she got eliminated that episode it was still a happy ending that fit really well with both of them!! I'm glad Damien's actually getting some play this season so far :D!!

Zee with Olivia Von Trashpanda is by far the best thing I've ever seen in my life, I love them sm

the besties,,,

i wish I was Emma in the scene where Axel ran her finger by her chin threateningly (I'm shameless I know but come ON I WISH THAT ME!!!!!)

Nichelle getting to slay is the best thing ever lowkey???? I'm so proud of her!!

Chase getting kicked out second was the best, get dunked on loser!!!

Emma has also been returned to my good graces for dunking on him, thank you girly

Chris missing Scary Girl is so real, I miss her too man :<

and, well

I now know I never want to participate in would you rather challenge irl, those questions were horrid

except the one with Axel and poetry, that's a really nice character touch despite what it leads to

and...yeah! general thoughts dump. I'll still be making separate posts and I actually feel motivated to draw canon for once..back on my total drama bullshit? /pos

[daz4i]

@mike-queerler hi hi i didn't wanna derail casino's post so! other instances of transgenderism in bsd (the original tag was partially a joke but these are stuff that certainly makes you go Hm):

kouyou and kyouka being based on male authors, yet being depicted as. well. girls (p sure that's where the common hc that kouyou is trans came from)

q, and that one wan chapter i unfortunately don't know how to find rn. i can't remember who it is but there's someone questioning if q is actually a boy, but it ends with smth along the lines of "when i saw how cute his face looked when he's happy, i stopped caring about whether he's a boy or not"

gin's whole Thing. like presenting as generally androgynous (at work at least) and not correcting anyone when they refer to her as "he" or call her a guy

these are just the most obvious i can think of tbh, not even getting into other androgynous characters (sigma is most obvious, tho fyodor, nikolai, kenji, chuuya are all characters I've seen confuse readers about their gender too) or dazai using gender neutral language etc (bc that's more a homage to irl dazai's writing. still, not gonna stop me from being insane abt nb dazai) and other smaller things that are easier to brush off hehe

also, this one's I'm certain is accidental, but aya and her dad's thing about how she's a failure at being a woman is so. both transmasc and transfem pain. and that last chapter where she talks abt how she never wanted to be an ideal woman but wanted to be like him! is! while not great! even more of a transmasc thing imo

and ofc chuuya being a short guy who speaks in an excessively masculine manner, doesn't remember his childhood + that more angry once a month joke. and his story is all about questioning your own identity due to the people around you - your family especially, or at least people who claim to be your family and that they know what's best for you - insisting you are something that you're certain you aren't, and you have to stick with it and keep believing in it to make it through and truly be yourself, and generally coming to terms with your identity, can be very easily read as a trans allegory as well

tldr: transgenderism. fuck yeah 🔥 if asagiri did even one of these things on purpose then well. i think that'd be really cool 😌 but even on accident it's still p fun!

[zeglythofficial]

I'm disappointed in Rachel, you would think that someone who has experienced so much hate online would be more aware. But she acts like a cyberbully.

Zeglyth shipping would happen whether she wanted it or not. Snowbaird had a bad ending and people like them, so it was expected that this attention would shift to her and Tom, as it actually did, because they are the representation of "less dark snowbaird"

She may not like it and that's okay, it's her right. But encouraging the bully, liking aggressive comments, and saying I love you after seeing in her tweet people wishing zeglyth shippers death, just because she said she won't share photos of Tom because she knows what people will say.

The photos are hers and the friendship is theirs and I have nothing to do with that. She posts whatever she wants on her social media. But direct this type of attention, why? Why encourage this unhealthy behavior?

You made a post yesterday about strange celebrity behavior, and well, this is one!

I was looking at your blog to see what makes people so angry, but I didn't find anything that unusual, they are things that happen throughout the fandon. I noticed that you really like mystical things, but they are not real, I even consider them to be well-written fanfics.

I'm not saying this to offend you.

I saw that you talk about Zegler and Rivera's abusive relationship, but I must say that you're also in one with Rachel.

I really feel sad for all of you here and X too. Trying to be positive about a celebrity who would be happy and still help destroy you, if she could.

Unfortunately, I agree with all of this.

I used to feel guilty about shipping them but I don’t anymore. I’m not doing anything unusual or illegal. R should not know about her own fandom as much as she does. If she sees something she doesn’t like, it’s time to act like a real celebrity and stay offline.

And if she does know, don’t embarrass yourself by telling your fans you see everything. She’s a golden globe winner worrying about shipping. She’s the ridiculous one at the end of the day, not us.

She’s unfairly criticized for saying something and ironically she’s doing the same thing to us. We’re getting criticized for shipping her with T, even though she feeds into it. She wants to bully us for something that she’s actively sharing.

She has two options:

1. Either post zeglyth and shut up

Or

2. Stop posting zeglyth all around

Obviously I would prefer option 1 but if she’s going to post zeglyth then complain that she’s insane and delusional. Also this is not hate, this is a fair criticism about her. I think she confuses the two. It’s fair to say that she’s blames us for shipping zeglyth even through she’s the captain of the ship.

Zeglyth was created because of their chemistry and snowbaird’s tragic ending. She knows this, everyone knows this, and she’s acting innocent as if she’s never shipped IRL couples. She has a tweet from a few years ago about reading Timothee C fanfic. I wonder how Timothee would feel about you reading fanfic about him, R? So to be blunt, she can kindly shut up about us shipping zeglyth. She’s guilt of doing the same thing.

People wishing death on zeglyth shippers is outrageous. These kids and high school dropouts have zero education and decorum. It’s never that serious.

Exactly. This blog consists of horny anons, people talking about zeglyth projects, gossip and tarot readings 💀 like hello, it’s fanfic and good vibes most of the time.

Not you saying we’re in an absuive relationship with R 🤭 she better stop because zeglyth is keeping her relevant. Without us, her fandom would flop. It would be crickets and middle schoolers without us. No one cares about the boar and Shazam.

She’s destroying herself at this point, not us.

[moonchildreads]

small town

Chapter 22 - Let's Dance

IN THIS CHAPTER: Matching outfits, a parking lot talk, and Hellfire does Prom [10.5k]

WARNINGS: underaged drinking (no one gets drunk), mentions of teenage delinquency, Eddie being an unreliable source of info about Hawkins' recent oddities, shitty former friends and partner

A/N: so. this chapter was supposed to come out last week but i got food poisoning, which turned into me taking a day off work because i felt like shit and when i returned, it got insanely hectic to the point where i did three extra hours today. life is lifing, friends! in order to keep myself sane (i cried at work again today, it's not looking good folks) i'm gonna throw away the update schedule and post whenever i feel like it. i'm still gonna aim at one chapter per week though! i just won't make promises on dates anymore because nothing is working out irl at the moment. anyways, enjoy the chapter and i'll see you when i see you (soon, i promise)!

masterlist - prev - next | playlist

Put on your red shoes And dance the blues

Friday, June 6th - 1986

On Thursday afternoon, Eddie Munson made the mistake of not telling Dottie Burke - his girlfriend that wasn’t actually his girlfriend because he hadn’t asked her out yet - why he couldn’t drive his friends to Donny’s family restaurant for dinner before prom. They’d been lounging on her bedroom’s window seat, radio playing at a low volume while they lazily kissed and cuddled, taking full advantage of the fact that her Dad hadn’t arrived from work yet when Eddie mentioned having to run an errand with Wayne on Friday after school. He said he was probably going to arrive late to the gathering, so they should make plans without him and he’d meet them at the restaurant whenever he was done. The metalhead noticed how Dottie freezed in his arms, lifting herself up from her comfortable position on his chest and put a little distance between them, but since she didn’t inquire further, he simply left a few hours later without ever explaining himself, leaving her to sink into a spiral of self-doubt and very familiar anxiety that left her equal parts jittery and exhausted.

That night after dinner, Dottie called her Auntie Rachel to ease the pang of rising panic, desperately seeking reassurance from the older woman who was always plenty eager to provide a pep talk to her favorite niece whenever she needed one. Everything will be fine, Rachel had said while nursing a glass of red wine all the way in her apartment in New York, her kids already tucked into bed and a newly acquired romance book waiting for her on her bedside table. Stop worrying about it, bug. Senior prom will be the best prom of your life. But as much as she tried to help, Auntie Rachel hadn’t been made aware yet of the change in her niece’s relationship with the older boy, so her advice rang hollow in Dottie’s ears, and the teen had ended up having a pitiful and unsatisfactory sleep before what was supposed to be the most exciting day of her senior year up until that moment.

Still, Eddie had behaved completely normal on Friday at school towards her and their friends, which had eased her nerves slightly. He didn’t make any comments about being anything less than happy to attend his first and hopefully last senior prom, and once he’d dropped Gareth off at his house, he’d lingered in Dottie’s driveway for ten long minutes. Eddie let himself enjoy the feeling of her mouth against his while a gentle drizzle hit his van windows before she finally headed into her house and he sped away towards his mysterious errand. Her best guess that the reason he had never really explained himself was because he was off to do something that was private to his uncle, and she hoped it wasn’t anything health related; Wayne wasn’t exactly old, but he also wasn’t young, and she didn’t like the idea of him having to go through any kind of medical emergency or invasive treatment. And so Friday evening found Dottie at her desk putting the finishing touches on her makeup look, and Eddie on the other side of Hawkins pleading to the stars above his head that his not-yet-girlfriend would understand his weird need for secrecy by the time the night had ended. Hopefully.

“How are you feeling, honey?” James asked, leaning against Dottie’s door frame as she took the last rollers out of her hair and sprayed her curls into place.

“Excited? Honestly a little bit terrified,” she confided in him. “I keep thinking that I’m gonna look around at some point and everyone will have gone home without me.”

“I really don’t think the guys would do that to you, but if they do or you want to leave at any point and for any reason, you can call me, okay? Don’t come home alone.”

“No, I know,” she smiled at him, but it looked more like a nervous grimace than anything else. “I promise I’ll call, I put coins in my purse just in case.”

“Great,” he came to stand behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders reassuringly. “But don’t go in there expecting the worst either. Everything’s gonna be great, honey, you’ll see. Just have a little faith.”

“I really hope you’re right this time, Dad.”

For the next few seconds, each of them were lost in their own painful memories from barely a year ago; James vividly remembered sitting down on their old couch with a can of beer in his hand and a rented movie in the VCR before a younger Dottie barrelled through their front door, shoes dangling from her fingers and black mascara streaking down her cheeks, running towards her bedroom where she locked herself into for 12 straight hours. In turn, all Dottie could think about was how she’d never gotten to see the inside of the gymnasium that was supposed to have been transformed into a fairy wonderland. Her Dad squeezed her shoulders with a comforting touch, dislodging the dark thoughts from her mind before dread overtook her and left her paralyzed once more. She picked up her Mom’s wedding earrings from her little jewelry box and quickly put them on, completing her outfit. Dainty gold pieces secured in place at her earlobes, she rose from her chair and twirled once to show off her full look, fluffy dress glinting as she moved.

During their weekend visit to Hawkins, Aunt Mary Elizabeth had put her sewing skills to good use and shortened the floor-length gown until it reached Dottie’s calves, the golden metallic heels they’d gotten at that heaven-sent Indy thrift store perfectly on display on her feet. She felt like a movie star, ready to walk down the red carpet with a handsome date and be adored by her fans, camera flashes blinding her as she glided effortlessly through a crowded room like she’d always belonged there. Except there were no fans, no paparazzi, and no handsome date either, just her Dad helping her into the front seat of their car so they could pick up the first of her friends for what was surely going to be a night to remember.

Their first stop of the night was at Gareth’s house. James hadn’t even put the car into park before the poor boy was jogging down his front lawn, trying to escape his mother who had been obsessively taking pictures of him in his rented black tux and bright red bowtie in various places around their home. Much to Gareth’s dismay, James insisted on saying hello to his parents before they left, so while he chatted amicably with dad Gavriel, Lydia made her son and his best friend pose in front of her bushes as a backdrop to fulfill the role of nosy journalist in Dottie’s movie star dreams. As much as they complained, the two teens hugged each other and smiled for photos until their eyes were wet from the flash going off and it was finally time to wrap up the shoot and head to their next stop.

The scenario repeated itself at Jeff’s house. His mom, Tricia, prompted Dottie to stand between him and Gareth in the middle of the living room, her son’s white suit jacket with black lapels contrasting nicely with his friend’s black jacket and white button up. As the two boys crowded their friend and planted big wet kisses on both of her rosy colored cheeks while the flashes kept going off, their vision for the night started to become clear: Dottie’s red dress, Gareth’s red bowtie and Jeff’s red Chuck Taylors and cummerbund were difficult to not notice, their club colors proudly and prominently on display leaving no doubts as to whom they belonged with. There might not have been a fancy date à la Rob Lowe or Ally Sheedy to walk hand in hand with into the packed Hawkins High gym, but the Hellfire Class of ‘86 didn’t need any of that to face their prom night - they just needed each other. Tricia promised James she’d get copies of all the photos printed for him and so the teens packed once again into the car and drove away to their final destination.

Donny’s family restaurant wasn’t as fancy as Enzo’s, but in their opinion, it was definitely way more charming. With its big sign spelling Giulia’s in cursive and a homely feel that could be experienced since before they had even walked in, big flower boxes decorated the outside and stereotypical checkered tablecloths were visible from the huge front windows. Donny had been waiting for them at one of the booths near the counter, flowers on every table and tea candles setting the mood for all the couples and groups of friends stopping by to have some authentic Italian pizza or pasta before dancing the night away in their heavily decorated school gymnasium.

“Hey, Don! Looking sharp!” James exclaimed from the driver seat when he pulled up to the restaurant as Donny rushed to keep the front door open for his friends.

“Thanks, Mr. Burke!” he beamed, blue eyes twinkling under the streetlights. “You wanna stay over for pizza?”

“No, thank you, you kids have fun, okay?” he turned to his daughter who lingered in the co-pilot seat. “Take care, honey. I love you.”

“Thanks, Dad. I love you too,” Dottie said, giving him a big hug.

James was so thankful she’d never gone through an I’m ashamed of showing my parent affection in public phase. He watched how Jeff hurried to catch the door when Donny left his post to greet Dottie, spinning her around once and making her laugh, her anxiety visibly melting as the boys made her feel more cared for and loved than she’d ever thought a friend could make her feel in her life. They all waved James goodbye as he drove away, his eyes glossy at the knowledge that his baby was rapidly growing and would inevitably stop needing him, but also incredibly proud of not only her but Donny, Jeff, and Gareth for being such good people to one another. It almost made him wish they’d moved back to his hometown earlier if it meant he’d see his daughter smile as bright as she did every day now.

“Hey, welcome!” Donny’s dad Angelo shouted from the door to the kitchen, his white apron stained with red sauce and his balding head covered with a stripy black and white bandana. “Thought you had gotten lost on your way over! Everyone likes margherita, right?”

“That the one with anchovies we had last time?” Gareth asked as they seated themselves into the booth, ignoring the looks they were getting from the other guests as they talked loudly over their heads.

“That’s the romana,” Donny said, going through the big beverage fridge at the back of the counter where his older sister Isabella was fiddling with the register. “Margherita is sauce, cheese and basil.”

“Oooooh, I love basil,” Dottie said, caging Jeff between herself and Gareth.

“We’re good with margherita, papà!” Donny placed glass soda bottles for everyone on the table and plopped himself down besides Dottie. “You look really pretty, by the way.”

“Thank you! You clean up nice too,” she smiled at him, and he chuckled shyly, not used to all the attention.

“Angelo, why didn’t you say the kids were here already?” Bianca, Donny’s mom, said coming out from the kitchen carrying pasta dishes for another table.

“They just arrived, cuore mio,” Angelo said, kissing the side of her head as he walked past him before he returned to the kitchen and busied himself with more cooking.

“Let me see you, boys, you’re looking handsome!” Bianca beamed at Gareth and Jeff, the two rowdy teens she’d known since before they could tie their own shoes. “And this is Dorothy, right?”

“Just Dottie is fine, mamma,” Donny corrected his Mom.

“Isn’t she a doll! Donatello said you’re interested in joining us for the summer, is that right?”

“Yes, ma’am, I’d love to work for you,” Dottie said, ignoring how her friends were snickering at the mention of Donny’s full first name.

“Do you have any experience?”

“Not as a waitress, but I was a babysitter back in New York since I was 13. I took a Red Cross course and everything. And I have CPR and First Aid certification if that helps.”

“We’ll talk more after graduation, but job’s yours if you want it,” Bianca said with a kind smile before hurrying over to attend to a customer.

“That was the quickest job interview I’ve ever seen in my life,” Jeff laughed.

“If we’re all gonna have money in our pockets, summer’s gonna be fucking awesome,” said Gareth, and everyone couldn’t help but agree with him.

By the time only pizza crust and empty cups of tiramisù remained on the table, everyone was feeling ready for some good old teenage fun on a sweaty dance floor. At some point during the dinner, Donny’s older sister Isabella had brought out a camera and taken a couple of snapshots of the group, wanting to preserve the memory of her little brother going to his first ever high school dance. Donny was acting like a peacock in his maroon suit with a matching black button up and tie; he’d even gelled his curls back, his stud earring glinting in the candlelight whenever he turned his head. As their classmates started leaving but their group remained behind, Dottie began to worry once again. Where in the world was Eddie, and why hadn’t he shown up yet? When she excused herself to the bathroom to reapply her bright red lipstick in an attempt to hide her nervous breathing, the boys huddled up in the booth, voices dropping to a low mumble, heads close together above the table.

“Where the fuck is he?” Gareth hissed.

“He said he was gonna be late, but this is too much,” Jeff said.

“You think he chickened out?”

“No way,” Donny said, confidently. “He was really excited about the surprise, he wouldn’t flake on us like that.”

“Well, he better show up or I’m beating his ass,” Gareth said. “Dot doesn’t deserve to go through another sucky prom.”

“Fuck, I didn’t even think about her,” Jeff’s eyes went wide. “She’s gonna be devastated if he doesn’t come.”

“He’ll come,” Donny nodded. “He’s not gonna stand her up. Like, if anyone knows how much this means to her, it’s probably Ed. They tell each other everything.”

“Okay, I’m ready to roll,” Dottie said, making their heads snap up at her voice. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah! You wanna get going now or do we wait for a bit longer?” Gareth asked.

“I… I dunno, guys. I don’t think Eddie’s coming,” she said, resigned. Jeff and Donny looked at each other.

“I’m gonna call him,” Donny decided. “You guys wait here.”

He shouldn’t have called, because when he returned to the table and said no one had picked up, the way Dottie’s face fell was enough to make them all feel incredibly guilty about something that wasn’t even their fault. They watched her school her features, masking the disappointment behind a friendly smile while she gathered her purse and slid out of the booth like nothing was bothering her. They said their goodbyes to the Vitale family, nonna Giulia coming out from the back to see her only grandson off (and pinch all their cheeks), and finally headed towards Donny’s car with a false sense of cheeriness but the best intentions at heart. The boys weren’t gonna let anything ruin the night for their friend, insisting on opening doors for Dottie and taking turns to offer her their arms to hold onto. Donny was unlocking his car’s doors when a very familiar brown van pulled up behind him, Eddie spilling out hurriedly without turning it off first.

“Jesus Christ, fuck, I’m so sorry,” he breathed out, jogging to catch up with his friends.

“You jackass, where the hell were you?” Jeff scolded him, but his words lost all edge when he pulled the long haired boy into a side hug.

“I’ll tell you later, but fuck man, I really thought I wasn’t gonna make it,” Eddie laughed, turning to hug Gareth.

“Is Wayne okay?” Dottie asked.

“Yeah, he’s fine, don’t worry about him,” he turned around and felt his soul leave his body when his eyes rested upon her. “I, uh- wow.”

“What’s wrong?” she said, looking down at her dress with a frown.

“Nothing! You- you look really nice,” he couldn’t hide his smile even if he tried, and he didn’t want to.

“Oh. Thank you, you look nice too,” she smiled back.

“Let’s take a picture before we leave now that we’re all here,” Donny said, waving through the window at Isabella, who immediately understood the assignment.

“We should take the camera with us,” Gareth proposed, and Jeff nodded in agreement.

Isabella had a few stern words towards Eddie for being late, but when she made them pose on the street, the light spilling out from the inside of the restaurant illuminating their happy faces, she couldn’t stop a fond expression from gracing her features. Donny hadn’t had an easy time throughout his school years, but it was this group of kids in front of her that had made everything better for him. She remembered the summer barbeques in the backyard with a younger Jeff, that one time Gareth lost a tooth munching too harshly on a cannoli, and that first day Donny brought Eddie over. She had asked her boyfriend (now husband) to help her keep an eye on the older boy throughout his visit, worried about what a junior could possibly want with her little brother. They’d talked about Lord of the Rings and played checkers for hours, and she’d heard Eddie warning a freshman Donny about certain teachers and how to avoid getting on their bad side, which softened her attitude towards the lanky teen considerably.

Truthfully, Isabella wasn’t one to judge quickly, but she had been worried about Dottie when Donny first began dropping her name in conversations at family gatherings. Girls had never been particularly nice to her brother while growing up, and as the eldest Vitale sister, she could be a little overprotective when it came to her siblings, especially towards her only brother. But here Dottie was, huddled up between Gareth and Donny, head resting lightly on her brother’s shoulder to be captured in a picture forever and looking happy about it, and Isabella knew this new addition to the group had been good for everyone. They were all wearing matching formal outfits, for Christ’s sake! After Isabella returned inside and everyone started heading towards Donny’s car again, Eddie grabbed Dottie’s wrist and stopped her from following their friends.

“Hey,” he said, tilting his head to the side. “Ride with me?”

“I, uh…,” she turned to look at the rest of the guys who were waiting for her a few steps ahead.

“I kinda wanted to talk to you about something important.”

“O-okay,” she said, heart sinking into her stomach. “I’m gonna ride with Eddie, guys.”

“Everything okay?” Jeff asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’ll tell you later,” Eddie said. “Meet us in the parking lot?”

He guided Dottie towards his van with a hand on the small of her back, holding her little gold purse for her as she climbed inside and clicked her seatbelt on, their friends slowly driving away without waiting for them to catch up. Once she was seated and her skirt was out of danger from getting caught in the door, Eddie closed it, jogged to the driver’s side and jumped inside, turning on the van and heading towards Hawkins High School. They stayed quiet for a whole block and when Dottie moved to turn on the radio to fill the awkward silence, he caught her hand in the air and brought it to his lips for a quick peck, the loving gesture helping her relax into her seat.

“I’m sorry I was late,” he said. “I had to do something important and it took me longer than I thought it would.”

His hair was still a little bit damp from his hurried shower, and he was wearing a black button up shirt with the sleeves barely rolled up, his good black jeans without holes in them with the chains on the side, and black boots. Chrissy’s birthday gift was the only pop of color in his all black ensemble, the red tie carefully ironed and knotted at the base of his throat.

“You look really handsome,” Dottie muttered with an airy tone, interlacing their fingers.

“And you look stunning,” he smiled softly, glancing at her before he turned his eyes back to the road. “Kinda took my breath away when I saw you.”

“Was worried you weren’t gonna show up,” she admitted.

“And leave my girl hanging? I’d never,” Eddie said, his thumb rubbing the back of her hand. My girl. She could get used to that. “I should have just told you what I was up to, but I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

“Surprise?”

“Check the glove box,” he said, pointing to it with his chin.

Dottie retrieved her hand from his grasp and opened it as instructed, pulling out two envelopes from the inside: one was white and looked like it contained a letter or a folded piece of paper, the other one was big and brown. She looked at him warily with a million questions in her eyes; he grinned mischievously in return.

“Open the small one first,” Eddie said.

Curiously, she opened the white letter and unfolded the single sheet of paper, finding in her hands a copy of Eddie’s school transcript. At the bottom, written in what she recognized as Ms. Kelly’s handwriting after seeing it for almost six months straight during their check-ins, were Eddie’s final grades for his third senior year. Not quite believing what she was seeing, she read them again and again, the information in front of her eyes staring back at her impassively.

“Stop the van,” she said, her gaze still stuck to the paper.

“What?”

“Fucking pull over, Ed!” she clicked her seatbelt off and threw the papers towards the dashboard, barely waiting until he’d hit the brakes before throwing herself onto him and planting a kiss on his lips.

“Wait, wait-” he laughed loudly, pulling her out of her seat and into his lap, her poofy dress covering his legs.

“I’m so- fucking- proud of you-” Dottie said, kissing him over and over, not caring if her lipstick was transferring onto his skin.

“Yeah? You are?” Eddie asked, giddy. “I had a meeting with Ms. Kelly today,” he began explaining, and she stopped kissing him to hear his story, her hands dropping to his shoulders where she played with his hair as he melted under her touch. “Dropped you off and booked it back to school. Last two times she called me to her office a week before graduation, she told me I wasn’t making it so I kinda shit my pants there for a minute but I knew I did good this time, I could feel it.”

“You did, babe, you did so good,” she grinned at him with hearts in her eyes.

“We did it,” he pressed a noisy kiss to her cheek, making her giggle. “We’re graduating together.”

“Hell yeah we are!” she moved to kiss him again but he dodged her, leaning to the side to get the other envelope from his dashboard.

“Hold on, that was only half of the surprise,” Eddie said, offering the papers back to her. “Open this one next.”

“Is this gonna say you got a full ride to come to Michigan with me or what?” she joked, pulling out the documents. “Oh, a job application! You mentioned this the other day-”

“Turn to the second page.”

“Holy shit! You got it?”

“I got it!”

In her hands, was a copy of his filled out job application and an informal looking contract, but a contract nonetheless. It was missing Eddie’s signature at the bottom, but that was merely a formality: she was looking at Thatcher Tires’ newest employee, with his starting date stamped as Monday, June 16th, the day after graduation weekend. It was only a part-time apprentice position, but it came with the promise of being promoted to assistant and eventually to full-time if he did well, and it was so much more than anyone else had been willing to give to Eddie before. Dottie looked at him with wet eyes and so much love inside her she didn’t know what to do except scoop him into her arms and squeeze him tightly against her chest like she never wanted to let go, lest he thought she wasn’t as equally over the moon about the news as he was.

“I’m just… fuck, Ed, this is huge,” she pressed her nose to his neck and he wrapped his arms around her, breathing in deeply.

“I know. It feels huge,” he chuckled. “Never thought I’d graduate and get a real job, y’know. Wayne cried when I told him.”

“That’s so sweet.”

“Yeah,” he sniffed. “I decided I’m not gonna deal anymore either. I’m just selling what I have left now and then I’m done with that shit. Forever. I… I wanna be good for you, darling. I wanna be the kinda man you deserve.”

“Ed, you don’t have to change who you are for me,” she lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him, her hands coming to hold the sides of his face tenderly. “I fell in love with you like this, I’m not gonna change my mind all of a sudden. I’m so sorry if I made you feel like you had to be anything different than who you are, I-”

“No, no, that’s not it,” he said quickly, hands settling on her waist. “I’m just… You deserve a good man, Dot, and I wanna be that. I wanna be a good man. I- I just didn’t think I could be good before, y’know? Everyone’s always talking about how I’m so fuckin’ stupid, and how I’d never do shit with my life, and I guess at some point I started believing they were right, and- I dunno. I don’t wanna be useless and I don’t wanna end up in jail with my asshole Dad like everyone in this shit town thinks I will. And- and when I met you and you were all like you’re really smart, Eddie, you’re just lazy, you were right, darling, you were so fuckin’ right. You always are,” he was looking at her with so much intensity she had to close her eyes and lean forward, their foreheads resting against each other’s. “I wanna look at myself in a mirror and see what you see. I wanna be good.”

“You are,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to his nose. “You are so good, Eddie. You are the best thing in this whole town and I love you so much.”

“Say that again, please.”

“I love you.”

“One more time?”

“I love you, Edward Munson,” Dottie kissed him sweetly. “I love you.”

“Shit,” he grinned. “You really love me.”

“Of course I do.”

“I love you too, baby. So, so much.”

They stayed like that for a few seconds, Dottie sitting on his lap, her thighs bracketing his, his thumbs rubbing circles on her sides and her hands cupping the sides of his jaw, noses pressed together. They didn’t kiss, because it didn’t seem enough to express what they were feeling right at that moment. It almost felt childish to do so, like kissing was something they usually did for fun and the real intimacy came from just existing in the same space, breathing the same air, feeling each other’s warmth under their hands and just how alive the other felt when skin was pressed against skin. A truck full of rowdy classmates that were clearly somewhat inebriated sped down the street, the loud music coming from their speakers breaking their fairytale bubble and bringing them back to real life. With a shy smile, Dottie collected all the documents strewn around them before moving back to her seat and clicking her seatbelt back on while Eddie tried to wipe her lipstick from his face with a tissue he’d stolen from her purse and water from an old plastic bottle. Once she’d reapplied her makeup and he was sufficiently clean so as not to raise suspicions, Eddie pulled back into the road towards the school, holding Dottie’s hand in his for just a few more minutes.

“You know what I realized the other day?” he said, stopping at a red light. “I didn’t used to be scared of jail when Chief Hopper was still around.”

“Really? Why not?”

“Because Hopper didn’t give two shits about me selling. He busted me a couple of times, gave me a talking to and dropped me off back home. I think he knew I was just doing it ‘cause we needed the money, I wasn’t gonna become a career criminal or some shit like that. He was cool.”

“And the new chief isn’t?”

“Powell’s useless,” Eddie scoffed. “He’s still trying to convince everyone he has what it takes to be like Hopper and no one believes he’s got it. And Callahan is a fucking moron. You know those handcuffs I’ve got in my bedroom?”

“I’m guessing you didn’t get those in a magician’s kit,” Dottie joked.

“They’re Callahan’s,” he grinned. “He caught me buying when I was like 15, put the cuffs on me and everything. Took me to the station and when Hopper saw me at his desk, he turned around and called him a drama queen, told him he was “wasting police resources” over nothing. It was awesome. I swiped the cuffs before Hopper took me home. Wayne wasn’t too happy about it though, he grounded me for like a month but I thought it was worth it.”

“So you stole a police officer’s cuffs? And just… hung them in your bedroom like they were a dreamcatcher?”

“Yeah, pretty much. At first I kept them ‘cause I thought they made me look badass,” he turned into another street, their final stop looming closer and closer. “Now I look at them and kinda get chills. I think Wayne would die if he saw me in those but for real this time. Like, I think he’d actually have a heart attack or something. Can’t do that to my old man, he doesn’t deserve that.”

“And Hopper didn’t know you took them?”

“He absolutely did, he just didn’t care,” Eddie laughed. “As far as cops go, Hopper was pretty cool. He actually gave a shit about us when it really mattered. I mean, yeah, he could still be an asshole when he wanted to, all cops are, but he was pretty chill most of the time. Kept to himself a lot. It kinda pissed me off how everyone started pretending like he was their best friend after he died.”

“Nancy told me he saved people in the Starcourt Mall fire.”

“Yeah. A true American hero: Vietnam war vet, died heroically saving children from a fire during the Fourth of July… doesn’t get more patriotic than that.”

“You said Dustin and Mike were there, right?”

“Yeah. And Erica.”

“What?”

“They were all in the cinema, I think. Dunno much about it, the kids never talk about what happened. Just know they were there ‘cause they mentioned it on the news. Nancy was there too, she didn’t tell you?”

“Oh,” Dottie said, like something had clicked in her head. “Well, that makes more sense now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought it was weird that Nancy’s boyfriend’s mom just, like, adopted the Chief’s daughter after he passed away, but it makes sense. They must have been friends.”

“What are you talking about?” It was Eddie’s turn to be surprised.

“Nancy’s dating a guy named Jonathan-”

“Yes, Jonathan Byers. I know him. Fellow weirdo,” he raised an eyebrow pointedly.

“Well, his mom adopted Hopper’s daughter before they moved to California last year. She’s dating Mike, he told us about her, remember?” Dottie explained. “So she must have been in there with Mike and their friends if Nancy and Jonathan were there too.”

“Hopper didn’t have a daughter. I mean, he did have one but she died when she was a kid,” Eddie said.

“Nancy said he didn’t know he had a daughter until recently, maybe her Mom passed away or something and she left her with him. She was here all summer with Mike and Dustin, she’s really pretty!”

“Yeah? How do you know?”

“They showed me a picture! She’s taller than I expected, has brown hair, brown eyes. Looks a little bit like an elf actually, she has, like, sharp cheekbones?” Dottie pointed to her own round cheeks that looked nothing like the girl’s face on a Polaroid currently stuck to the inside of Dustin’s locker.

“Well, damn,” he chuckled. “Look at Wheeler go, totally thought he was lying about that one. Hey, uh, did Nancy tell you anything about the Byers?”

“About Jonathan, mostly. I know he has a brother that’s friends with Mike and Dustin too.”

“Will.”

“I think so, can’t remember his name. I know Mike’s girlfriend is named Jane though.”

“So she didn’t tell you about all the weird shit that happened a few years ago, huh?” Eddie eyed her curiously as he pulled into the school’s street, the building waiting for them just a few blocks further.

“Define weird shit for me, please.”

“This town is fucking cursed, babe. That Will kid went missing in the woods and then the feds found a random body in the quarry and thought it was him. Everyone thought Mrs. Byers was insane because she kept saying that the body wasn’t Will, but she was right - Hopper found him alive a few days later. It was a huge mess, like, they had held a funeral and everything and now the kid is back like nothing happened?” Eddie shook his head in disbelief. “I thought maybe Nancy would have told you because around that same time, everyone thought this girl named Barb that was best friends with her had run away but actually she died from getting exposed to some weird chemicals from that lab in the middle of the woods where Will went missing and there was a whole conspiracy to cover it up. And also y’know, the fire thing last year.”

“Those are like a lot of strange as fuck things to have happened in such a short span of time,” Dottie frowned.

“I know, right? And Mike and Dustin are always in the middle of it somehow. Must suck.”

“Poor kids,” she said, sadly. “It’s probably hard for them to deal with all that and have to pretend everything’s normal.”

“People get crazy good at hiding things they’ve been through, especially when they were fucked up,” he shrugged.

Eddie finally pulled into the school’s parking lot, quickly locating Donny’s car and their friends standing around waiting for them. He honked the horn twice to call their attention and they waved at him to hurry up. Dottie looked at the boys through the windshield and thought about what Eddie had just said. He was right and she knew this because she’d gotten pretty good at pretending things were okay when they weren’t, not looking for pity or compassion because she’d simply assumed others would judge her for it. Being around Eddie had helped her open up, but there were some secrets that were buried too deep to unearth so casually, particularly when they filled her with shame. But maybe it was about time she stopped doing that. Maybe she owed it not only to her friends, but to herself, to stop feeling sorry for something that had been out of her control and such a special night seemed like the perfect moment to tell them the things that had been eating her from the inside out for a year now. But for now, Eddie was offering her his hand to help her get out of his van, and her friends were grinning at her like the cat that got the cream, so the truth would have to wait until later. There was a prom to attend first, and she was determined to enjoy this one to the fullest.

Gareth Coleman had never been known to be particularly patient about anything throughout his goddamn life. He was always eager to spill the beans, and he always wanted to spill them now, so the fact that he’d managed to keep this specific secret for almost a week had been impressive. Him, Jeff, and Donny had discussed Eddie’s weird behavior while on their way to the school, and they were all equally curious as to what was taking him and Dottie so long to arrive. Donny had already smoked a cig and Jeff had checked the bag in the backseat thrice by the time those two finally rejoined the group, looking a little bit suspicious and plenty cozy with one another. The boys didn’t have too much time to ponder on why though, because immediately upon arrival Eddie revealed that the reason he’d been late for dinner and why he’d stolen Dottie away for a private chat, was that he’d seen Ms. Kelly after school and had gotten confirmation that he’d finally be graduating high school with his friends. Hellfire Class of ‘86, baby, he’d said, pulling his friends into a huddle as they cheered and hollered at what was probably the most anticipated piece of news they’d gotten in a long time. However, Gareth was still impatient as ever, so he quickly peeled away from the group hug and dove into Donny’s car to retrieve their final surprise of the night and keep emotions running high.

“Since we’re all here and in a good fuckin’ mood,” he began saying, making everyone turn to him. “We have something for you, Dot.”

“For me? What did I do?”

“Well, it wouldn’t really be prom if you didn’t have one of these, so… here you go,” he pulled a white box from inside the bag and extended it to her; she accepted it curiously before peering inside.

“Wow, this is…,” she said, taken aback. “You guys! You didn’t have to buy anything for me!”

“Yes, we did,” Jeff said, moving forward to help her get her surprise out of the box.

In his hands, he held a very special corsage they’d all pitched in to buy for her since she didn’t have a formal date to the event to get it for her. The flowers were bright red, with the ribbon in black and gold; he slid it over her fingers until it sat prettily on her left wrist, her eyes filling with heartfelt tears at their thoughtful gesture. She didn’t have time to thank them, however, because soon enough Gareth was pulling smaller boxes from the bag and giving one to each of his friends.

“Could you help us with these?” Donny smiled, opening his box for her to see what he was holding.

Each of them had gotten themselves a boutonniere, two different styles but all in matching colors. Jeff and Eddie had chosen red flowers with black and gold ribbon much like her corsage, but Gareth and Donny had white flowers with red and gold ribbon. Between wet laughs, she pinned all decorations to their chests, wondering how she’d gotten so lucky to have these four men in her life who were all so eager to make every moment count when it mattered the most. Dottie tucked herself between Eddie and Jeff, and Donny turned his sister’s borrowed camera towards the group, blindly taking a picture and hoping he hadn’t accidentally cut any heads out of it. After checking on each other for the final time, the five teens turned towards the gymnasium doors and headed inside to get the party started.

The Hellfire Class of ‘86’s big entrance had been something to behold. No one had really been expecting the freaks to show up, much less dressed to the nines and arm in arm with that one girl that had moved to Hawkins a few months ago right in the middle of the school year, but there they were, and they demanded to be seen. Their matching outfits made them stand out in a sea of bold colors, pastels, and satin fabrics, but the fact that they moved like a cohesive unit anywhere they went was weirdly fascinating. First, they headed to get their picture taken and the photographer had been happy to capture what looked to be a healthy group of friends instead of awkward looking couples that would probably not make it anywhere further than a few months beyond graduation. Then, they lingered at a corner of the refreshments table when Chrissy Cunningham excitedly greeted them and chatted with them for a few long minutes, gushing over Dottie’s vintage dress who in turn couldn’t stop telling the blonde how beautiful she looked in her baby pink gown.

It was silly, really, how the most non-conformist friend group in Hawkins High had found some sort of genuine amusement in participating in what was probably the most stereotypical event in the life of any high school student, but they’d long ago stopped trying to explain themselves to others. Prom to them was a celebration of their friendship, a culmination of four shitty years (or six, in Eddie’s case), and the hope of a better future that felt as equally glorious as every moment spent together. They sipped on cheap vodka from a hip flask Gareth had smuggled in, they pestered the DJ to play Black Sabbath, Metallica, or even some Mötley Crüe to no avail, and they danced in a circle until their feet hurt. Dottie excused herself for a bit to dance with Chrissy to a Queen song, and then she’d stolen Nancy away from her friends for a few minutes, but she stayed pretty close to her boys all night, and in turn, they never left her alone. She’d been twirling around the dance floor with Jeff while Gareth escaped to the bathroom for a couple of minutes when Donny came to stand next to Eddie, who was watching her from the side with the most lovesick expression on his face known to man.

“Might wanna be less obvious with the staring there,” Donny nudged him goodnaturedly. “People are gonna notice you’re drooling.”

“Don’t really care if anyone sees me,” Eddie admitted. “Now that we’re all getting out of here I’m gonna ask her to be my girlfriend, so I don’t give a shit about what this lame ass school thinks about me anymore.”

“Damn, good luck, man,” he looked at him, impressed. “I mean, she’s totally gonna say yes but still, good luck.”

“Thanks, Don. You’re a good friend, you know that, right?”

“Been told once or twice but it’s always good to hear.”

“I should tell you more often,” Eddie smiled. “We’re all best friends, but… I dunno. I feel like you always got me the most.”

“Always thought you got me the most, actually,” Donny said, smiling back at him.

“Hey, Eddie!” Chrissy called, hurrying towards him all giggly and secretive. “We're up next!”

“Shit, already?”

“What’s going on?” Donny asked, looking at the blonde.

“I'm his Best Man," she said, like that explained everything before grabbing Eddie's hand and pulling him towards the dance floor.

Without having to squint too much, the gymnasium didn't look like the sweaty room the majority of the school's populace hated with a passion anymore. Chrissy and her fellow Prom Committee members had worked really hard to turn it into a different place, from the red carpet and fairy lights at the entrance to the golden streamers obscuring the bleachers to the sides, all the way to the myriad of rented mirror balls hanging from the ceiling; everything came together to create a portal to a world where Hawkins’ senior class could pretend like they were movie stars for a night. The theme was perfectly captured in the décor, and Eddie found it very fitting that the Hellfire Club's colors matched it so well - it made everything that much more special and movielike than they had intended when they agreed to display their club’s allegiance so blatantly.

Chrissy maneuvered them past several people towards where Jeff and Dottie danced to Falco’s Rock Me Amadeus, immediately joining in and not caring that classmates around them were looking at her like she'd grown two heads. She had worked her ass off so everyone could have a wonderful night and if she wanted to dance with the freaks, she felt like had rightfully earned her prize. After all, Eddie had said she was a freak too once and she took it to heart, considering it might as well have been the biggest compliment she had ever received in her 18 years on planet Earth. Jeff was still wary of Chrissy, not having had a full conversation with her in all four years of high school but he knew Eddie thought of her as a friend, and Dottie seemed to like her as well so he followed their lead and danced along with her, making both girls spin at the same time in tune with the song.

"Are you having fun?" Chrissy asked Dottie, holding onto her hands.

"So much fun! I voted for you, by the way."

"You did?! Oh my god, thank you!" the blonde beamed at her. "I'm so nervous, I hope I get it!"

"Are you kidding me? We all voted for you, you're totally gonna win," Dottie said with honesty, because there was no other way the night could end without Chrissy Cunningham winning Prom Queen.

"Don't jinx it!" she laughed, as the final notes of Rock Me Amadeus played out.

"Alright, alright, Hawkins High! Is everyone having fun?" the DJ asked over the music; everyone cheered in response. "Let's slow it down a little bit, shall we? This one's for the lovers in the room, but remember to leave space for Jesus in the middle, okay? Don’t want any teachers getting upset."

Dottie laughed at the DJ’s silly joke while the next song began, head whipping around to find Eddie who was already turned towards her and, dare she say, looking mighty sheepish. Oh, darling, please believe me, crooned Paul McCartney as the dancefloor became a little bit less crowded and couples began partnering up to share a sweet moment with one another. Eddie offered his hand to her and Dottie looked at their friends before taking it, but there was no need - Chrissy was fulfilling her Best Man duty to perfection, already swaying away from them with her hands on Jeff's shoulders. He looked mighty confused as to why a pretty cheerleader was slow dancing with him instead of going to find her jock boyfriend, but he was enjoying the small talk about what colleges they'd attend after graduation and Chrissy seemed to be having fun too so beggars couldn't really be choosers. Dottie let herself be pulled closer to Eddie and he held her in a way that didn't look entirely platonic, but they both silently agreed that they’d deal with whatever teasing they could get in the future. Right now, being in her not-yet-boyfriend’s arms while The Beatles played in the background was probably one of the happiest moments of Dottie’s life and she was going to enjoy it as much as she could without overthinking it.

"Got any other surprises up your sleeve I should prepare myself for?" Dottie asked, eyes shining under the disco balls.

"This was the last one for tonight, I promise," he said, fighting the urge to cradle her head into his chest; Mrs. O'Donnell was standing to a side looking for students who didn't leave space for Jesus and he didn’t want to risk it. "How are you feeling, princess?"

"Like this is the best prom I could have asked for."

"Yeah? Is it how you dreamed it would be?"

"It’s so much better. I'm lucky enough to be dancing with the prettiest boy in the room, what more could I ask for?" she smiled.

"Don't know, I'm dancing with the most beautiful girl in the room so I'm feeling pretty lucky too," he smiled back at her, his dimples on display.

“God we’re corny. How did you get the DJ to play our song?”

“I thought our song was Hot Patootie.”

“We have multiple. Answer the question, Munson, Donny and I asked him to play some Bruce Springsteen earlier and he said no.”

“I have friends in high places,” Eddie said cryptically, but undermined the mystery by looking at Chrissy who was laughing at something Jeff had said.

“You totally told her about us, didn’t you?” Dottie asked, but her grin told him she wasn’t mad about it.

“She’s gonna be my Best Man, I had to,” he shrugged, making her snort and shake her head.

“Already thinking about the wedding and he hasn’t even asked me out yet. You’re getting awfully cocky,” she raised an eyebrow, and he had the decency to look shy about it.

“I’m working on it, darling. Just give me time to make it special.”

Eddie pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear as they danced, not realizing that both Donny and Gareth were watching the pair like hawks, smirking at how obvious their affection was in a sea of couples that ranged from uncomfortable to loving. They, however, looked downright sickening, like they had been plucked from a cheesy coming of age movie where the two leads finally came to terms with the fact that all they’d ever wanted had been right in front of them all along.

“He’s totally head over heels for her, isn’t he,” Gareth said, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Absolutely,” Donny said, taking a sip of his spiked fruit punch. “But she’s not far behind either.”

“Yeah,” the wild curly haired boy turned to look at his friend. “Wanna bet on how long it’ll take for them to get together?”

“I say twenty for graduation day.”

Nearing the end of prom night, their feet hurt from standing for so long and they were all starving for some salty junk food. Chrissy had, of course, ended up winning Prom Queen; Hellfire had cheered for her extra loud which hadn’t made the basketball team very happy but they couldn’t retaliate when there were so many teachers around. Besides, Andy’s eye was still very much purple and no one wanted to be sporting a face injury in their graduation photos. Jason Carver had won Prom King too, but much to his dismay, rumor had it that he’d barely beaten the football team’s captain for the title. Nonetheless, the newly crowned couple was dancing in the middle of the gym surrounded by other partnered up classmates when Eddie proposed what was probably the best plan of the night: leaving early and going to get fries and milkshakes at a cheap diner.

Dottie went in the car with Donny and Gareth this time, trying to avoid alerting their friends to her and Eddie’s blossoming relationship anymore than they’d already had, and the teens spent the entire ride gossiping about things they’d noticed had happened during the event, like how this girl from the swimming team had very publicly broken up with her boyfriend in front of everyone or how their History teacher had been dancing with the pretty Science teacher every freshman (namely, Dustin Henderson) had a crush on. When they arrived at the diner, Eddie opened the doors of his van and they sat in the parking lot to eat their fries and share various flavors of milkshakes, debating on which one was better. The boys were rowdy as they always were, Gareth fighting hard for peanut butter versus Jeff’s chocolate and Donny’s orange creamsicle, when Eddie went to grab more fries from the basket he was sharing with Dottie and noticed she was staring at her corsage, a blank expression on her face.

“Hey,” he said softly, trying not to startle her by rubbing the back of her hand with his pinky finger. “You okay? Wanna go home?”

“No, I’m okay. Just thinking.”

“Wanna tell me? I’m a good listener.”

“I know you are,” Dottie afforded him half a smile. “I… there was something I wanted to tell you but don’t wanna bring the mood down.”

“Uh-oh,” he pouted dramatically. “Am I in trouble already?”

“Shut up,” she shoved him lightly. “No, it’s just… it’s about New York and- I don’t know, we’re having such a fun time. Feels like I’m gonna fuck it up. It’s fine, I can tell you guys some other time.”

“Tell us what?” Jeff asked, making her notice that all the boys were quietly looking at her.

“You don’t have to tell us anything if you don’t want to,” Gareth hurried to say. “-but we’re always down to hear you if you wanna, like, get something off your chest or whatever.”

“Yeah! You’re not fucking anything up, we’re just talking,” Donny said.

Dottie looked around at her friends who were waiting to follow her lead whatever that may be and knew that if she was ever going to say anything, then this was it. This was the moment where she let them all in, where she let them see just how truly damaged she was, and they’d have to decide whether this baggage was something they wanted to help her with or if it was too much for them to handle. Eddie’s ringed hand sneaked behind her, caressing her spine back and forth on top of her dress for support. She took a deep breath and set the basket of fries to the side.

“I, uh- you know how I said my junior prom sucked and that’s why I kinda didn’t wanna come tonight before we made plans?” she began, and they all nodded. “So, there’s actually a pretty big reason for that.”

“You said you didn’t have a date for junior prom and you felt bad so you didn’t go. That’s why I said we should all go together,” Gareth said, making the other teens turn to him in surprise. He clearly knew more about it than they all did and he hadn’t said anything.

“I lied. I did go and I did have a date. I had a boyfriend actually,” she said grimly.

“Oh.”

“How long did you date that guy?” Donny asked, sparing a glance at Eddie who was staring at her nervous hands playing with her Mom’s engagement and wedding rings, spinning them around her left middle finger.

“Around six months. His name was Tyler, we went to school together. He was… nice, I guess? I really liked him,” she muttered. “And like, not to overshare but he was my first real kiss, you know? My first everything. And he made me feel special for a while.”

“What happened?” Jeff asked, frowning and shifting closer, his hand coming to rest on her ankle.

“We went to prom together. Flynn, his older brother, took us and the whole ride was so awkward because he kept trying to talk to Tyler and he would just stare ahead, like he was angry or something. He wouldn’t even look at me.”

“Flynn or Tyler wouldn’t look?”

“Tyler. Actually, Flynn was pretty awesome, best older brother ever. He was pre-med, just… a really cool guy. Kinda miss him, he was fun to be around. He had wild stories about college, but not like drunk wild, just general weird things that happened around campus,” Dottie smiled, remembering the nice older guy that gave her advice on how to apply to colleges.

“He sounds nice,” Donny said.

“He was! Honestly, I think the best part about dating Tyler was that I could hang out with Flynn a lot.”

“So… what happened at prom?” Donny prompted her to continue.

“Um, Flynn dropped us off and Tyler said he wanted to talk before we went in. I thought he was nervous, y’know? I mean, I was nervous too. But he basically said he didn’t wanna date me anymore because he was gonna go to this science whatever camp during summer, and we were gonna be so far away and he just couldn’t deal with long distance so it was over.”

“What?” Eddie’s eyebrows raised on his forehead until they were hidden completely by his bangs. He was prepared to wait for her all four years of college and this fucking guy couldn’t handle being two months apart? “That’s such bullshit!”

“That’s what I said!” she exclaimed, getting angry again at the memory. “But then he said that he didn’t like me anymore because I didn’t put in any effort, and that other girls got pretty for their boyfriends and- and that hurt because he knew that I hadn’t been able to get a dress I liked for prom, so a friend’s sister let me borrow an old one from her.”

“What a fucking douchebag,” Gareth said, scoffing. “You always look pretty, what was his deal?”

“Wish I didn’t know, but, um, that one hurt way more when I found out,” she said, tears starting to form along her waterline. “Because I obviously went home after that, right? He didn’t want me there, and I didn’t want to be there either, so I got on the first bus I saw and that was it. I didn’t show up for the final week of school, and then I went to see my grandparents and stayed away from everyone all summer.”

“What about your friends?” Jeff asked.

“My Dad returned the dress for me and I called Tracey to say thank you, and that was it. She didn’t ask about what happened and no one else called.”

“You mean that no one cared you went missing for months?” Eddie’s face dropped.

“That’s kinda how summers were like for me in New York anyway,” she admitted, and he moved his hand from her back to her hip to bring her closer to him and into a side hug. “I was sure that everyone knew and that’s why no one called. Like, what would they even say? It would have been so awkward. But then school started again and I found out what happened during the holidays and everything made sense.”

“Why? What happened?” Gareth frowned. “What did they do while you were gone?”

“Tyler went to his dumb summer camp two weeks after school ended and got together with my friend Jeannie,” Dottie said, fat drops finally falling from her eyes. “God, why am I still crying about it? I don’t even care about them anymore, I’m pathetic.”

“Fuck that! You’re not pathetic, they are!” Jeff exclaimed, gripping her ankle tighter to get to look up from her hands. “What a bitch, how could she do that to you?”

“Okay, I’m gonna kill both of them,” Gareth deadpanned. “We should totally kill both of them, right, guys?”

“Hey, come on, don’t cry,” Donny said, shifting closer until he was on Dottie’s other side, squishing her between himself and Eddie. “Do you want us to kill them? Because you know we would. I’ll bring the shovel, Eddie has the van, we can make it happen. Just say the word and we’ll be there.”

“I know you would,” she managed to chuckle through the tears. “It’s fine, I just… I never really told anyone this other than my Dad. The only reason my family knows is because he had to explain to everyone why I was locking myself in my room to cry all the time and wouldn’t leave home. I worried everyone a lot those days.”

“You were keeping this one really close to the chest, huh?” Eddie said, things clicking into place for him. Her sudden desperation when he mentioned Chrissy’s name mid freakout, her willingness to hide her own heartbreak if it meant they’d still be friends, the way she kept to herself all those months before she joined them. “Can I ask… did someone tell them anything? Did your other friends know?”

“They all knew. Tracey and Benji said they were sorry but that was kinda it. And all of them sat during lunch with Jeannie, who kept bringing Tyler over to our table and literally fucking sitting on him every day so I had no friends for six months except for Mrs. Randall.”

“Who’s Mrs. Randall?” Eddie asked, vaguely aware that he’d seen that very same name signed at the front of her well-loved Anne of Green Gables copy.

“The school’s librarian. I had lunch with her every day and she helped me write the essay I sent to UMich. She’s awesome, honestly. Dunno what I would have done without her.”

“I’m so sorry you went through all that,” Jeff said. “You didn’t deserve it, and I’m glad you aren’t friends with those assholes anymore.”

“Yeah! You have us now!” Gareth smiled, throwing himself over Eddie’s legs to join in on the hugging party. “We played D&D together which means we’re bonded for life. Can’t get rid of us anymore.”

“He’s right, princess,” Eddie added, hand coming up to brush her tears away. “It’s in the Player’s Handbook. You signed a blood contract.”

“I love you,” she said, looking at him earnestly before turning to her other boys. “I love all of you. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you anything before, it was just so embarrassing to admit and I didn’t want you to know I’m the biggest loser on Earth and decide you didn’t want to be friends anymore.”

“You’re not a loser,” Donny said. “And those people weren’t your real friends, they were shitheads. That’s not on you, Dot. And we love you too, or else we wouldn’t be wearing suits right now.”

“Everything you guys did today… thank you. I’m gonna remember this forever, you have no idea how much it means to me.”

“We know,” Gareth said, looking at all his friends. “That’s why we did it.”

In the back of Eddie’s van, with the doors open to the empty parking lot waiting to be filled with teens looking for a snack, Dottie shed yet another layer of fear and anxiety. The air smelled vaguely of weed and fries, their forgotten milkshakes sweating rings onto the hard floor, but no one made a move to get themselves out of the puppy pile they had sunk into, five sets of legs and arms tangled with one another and the calm understanding that physical comfort was something they all needed at that moment. They had all been outcasts, freaks, easily disposable and replaceable throughout their lives, but here, in this van, they were invaluable and unique. Here the Hellfire Class of ‘86 was home, and there was nothing in the world that could convince them otherwise. Here they belonged, and birds of a feather flock together after all.

taglist (comment below or send me an ask if you wanna be added!): @munsonology @kurdtbean @every1lovesanunderdog @eg-dr3amer3

[legends-of-apex]

‘Only If For a Night’ ch. 6 | Tangerine x Reader

{Click here for series masterlist}

Rating: M for swearing, mentions of injury and blood, violence

Word count: 4,000

Summary: Tangerine is forced into self-reflection when you tell him how you ended up in this mess in the first place. Reader is gender neutral 

Note: Hey everyone, sorry for the late update! Things have been insane me for irl recently lol so I've not had too much time to write! Anyways I hope you enjoy and please feel free to let me know what you thought <3 your comments keep me writing this honestly, you're all so sweet 

Tangerine's observational skills were inconsistent. Sometimes he picked up on every little detail, like Lemon's tie hanging lopsided or a crease in one of his paperbacks' pages. But other times misplacements simply passed him by like a breeze.

For instance, he hadn't noticed the deep slashes in their car's tires despite being bent down on one knee to change the license plates. He certainly hadn't noticed the pair of binoculars zoned in on him from just outside the hotel parking lot's edge. He was too busy thinking about you, then the job and then how quiet the city seemed now there was no construction work to hammer through his eardrums. They must have stopped for dinner, he thought.

Tangerine realised that the hotel sat firmly on the edge of the city but its sprawling parking lot made it look much more isolated than it actually was. If he was to walk a few minutes in either direction, he would probably find a neat little corner shop. But the parking lot was so ostentatiously large for a hotel of its size, like it was forced into artificial isolation.

The man watched Tangerine for any sign of panic or realisation that he'd slashed the tires. He'd cut the battery wires too for good measure. But Tangerine didn't notice any of that. He was far too preoccupied with trying not to tear the crude stitches in his arm as he changed the plates.

The man watched him head back inside after flicking his cigarette to the ground without bothering to stub it out. What a waste. A bellboy came through the revolving doors a moment later so the man got out of the car. He'd found his way in.

The next morning you took to your balcony to watch the city. The iron railing was cold against your palms, the metal almost iced by the morning air. The cold felt good against your skin, it felt fresh and freeing. It helped unfog your clouded mind a little.

'You'll catch your death out here if you're not careful.'

With a jolt, your eyes darted to the left to see Tangerine leaning back against the balcony of his and Lemon's room, a stone's throw away from yours. You could have probably jumped the gap between balconies if you really wanted to but to you, he may as well have been a mile away.

There he was. The reason for your fogged head in the first place. He was quickly becoming the itch you couldn't scratch, a rosebush thorn in your side you couldn't dig out. You had a feeling he knew that. Something about the way he leaned so casually made you think he realised exactly what he was doing. There was a terrible smugness to Tangerine but for whatever reason, you couldn't hate him for it.

He took the cigarette hanging from his mouth and grinned, moustache upturning with his lips. 'Sorry, love. I didn't mean to scare you. Was just stating the obvious is all.'

'Yeah? Well, I'm not going to catch pneumonia from standing outside for five minutes.' You scoffed. He adored that insolent tone in your voice, maybe a little too much.

'I'm happy to hear that. I didn't take a fucking bullet for you to just die of natural causes.'

You'd had this conversation before in the car when he'd told you that he didn't drive all this way just for you to get killed in a gas station. That was his way of expressing concern for you, framing it as it being an inconvenience for himself that you were going into a potentially dangerous place, or even that you were cold.

'You're not going to offer me your jacket again, are you?' You asked with a sleepy grin.

He nodded his head, almost impressed with you calling him out. 'Suppose I could if you're asking. Just as long as you don't bloody spill anything on it. I'm still trying to get the blood out the other one.' You smiled then and he did too. 'How'd you sleep?' He asked, his voice softer.

'Pretty good all things considered.' Considering you couldn't get him, or his searing touch, out of your head. 'This place is a lot nicer and a lot safer than the safe house.'

'That door seemed like it would have caved in if someone looked at it the wrong way.' He despised the thought of you staying there so unsafe. The fact that you'd been followed a mere hour after he and Lemon found you didn't escape him.

'I thought so too. Suddenly I understand why people sleep with knives under their pillow, if I could even sleep at all.' He admired the way you looked out at the city for a moment, like he wasn't even there. But then you gasped. 'You haven't slept yet, have you? I'm sorry to keep you.'

'Don't be.' He liked listening to you talk. 'But I did pop downstairs and get some pastries for us so you might want to help yourself before we've scoffed them.'

'Thanks. I'll go do that. Sleep well Tangerine.'

'Cheers, love. See you later.'

You left him there to finish his cigarette and then head to bed. Sleep was the very last thing on his mind right now but his body begged him for it nonetheless.

When he awoke he found you watching tv with Lemon. You both sat on one of the sweeping couches facing the sleek tv mounted on the wall. That and the fire pit were just about the only modern things in that living room. Everything else could have been torn right out of the early 1900s.

Tangerine rolled his eyes as the familiar sight of Thomas and Friends flashed across the screen. Lord knows how Lemon managed to find it. After a quick greeting to his brother, Lemon turned back to you to continue his ramblings about the show. Tangerine would have felt bad for you if you didn't seem genuinely interested. Tangerine immediately busied himself by watching your face as Lemon recounted the tale with broad and excited hand gestures to match his enthusiasm. Your patience was admirable, a virtue he could say for certain that he'd never possessed. But he liked the concentration woven into your features as you listened to his brother drone on. It endeared him to you even more.

Lemon was telling you about an episode of Thomas and Friends he watched last night before bed, even as the other one was playing right now as he spoke. Thomas was berating Gordon for the time he got stuck on some warped train track and then Thomas fell into a ditch. It was supposed to be some lesson about being kind and non-judgmental towards others and their struggles as so much of that show seemed to be.

You must have been bored as hell, Tangerine thought.

There wasn't any hotel WiFi as the staff said it was down. Even if it was working you couldn't use your phone for fear of someone using it to track your location. You couldn't even contact friends or family. You couldn't do much inside and you weren't allowed to go outside. Being on the run fucking sucked. He and his brother seemed to be making things bearable but still, he could tell you craved fresh air and the chance to stretch your legs.

Tangerine made a mental note to offer you a loan of his book later.

Dinner that night was worse than yesterday. You were still the only occupied table in the echoey restaurant. The staff unsettled you and the food was honestly pretty abysmal like the actual chef was on holiday. The staff stood around bored as though they weren't quite sure what they should be doing.

That night Tangerine couldn't sleep. He and Lemon's rotating shifts to make sure you were He swung his legs over the side of the bed and flicked his lighter to light a cigarette. The light illuminated his face in the dark as he looked out at the skyline. He'd slept with the blinds open since he was a child. He always liked waking to feel the warmth of the morning sun on his face. The air was cold that night so he slipped a nightgown over his bare shoulders and tied it firmly at his waist.

He wandered out onto the balcony and looked across at yours, finding it empty. He wasn't sure what he expected but he knew what he had hoped to find there. And in your absence, the air felt colder.

Instead, he found himself alone and for the first time in years, he felt it. Or rather it was the first time he detested the feeling. With his brother around it was difficult to feel lonely but the heart finds its way. Usually, he buried his loneliness in books. He felt safer with his nose buried between the pristine pages. The only people getting hurt were confined within the printed ink, trapped within the paper. But therein also lay the only ones experiencing the romance or adventure of which the stories sang.

He read a lot of romance and classical novels, and found himself wrapped up in the oftentimes almost trivial conflicts. They ought to have seemed small to him given his day-to-day life but they never did. He treasured the ghostly touches of forbidden lovers or kisses pressed to plush and swollen lips stolen between weeks of longing glances.

Those stories made him feel such things that he never really had the chance to aside from the occasional hook-up tainted by either party's selfish need for release.

So after flicking his cigarette down onto the street below and watching the embers fizzle out in a dark puddle on the concrete, he wandered back inside and flicked open his book. It was a compilation of some of Dostoevsky's short stories and he was just about to start his favourite. White Nights, when he heard a noise from your room.

He was on his feet in an instant, the book discarded.

'Lemon!' He half shouted upon seeing his brother's eyes closed where he sat on the couch. He was supposed to have been staying up in case you needed anything.

'Yeah, gimme like five more minutes bruv.' He mumbled. Tangerine sighed, relieved he was alright. He always slept like the dead.

He went straight for your door instead.

'Are you alright in there?' He had a gun in his hand.

'Just a second!' You called out and when you came to the door he swallowed, eyes flickering downwards and then back up to your face. He was trying to keep his eyes focused firmly on anything but the expanse of your legs peeking out beneath your pyjama shorts.

'What the fucking hell was that noise?'

'I knocked a bottle of water off my nightstand.' You noticed the gun in his hand and your eyes widened. 'Jeez.'

He wondered why you wouldn't look him in the eye but then realised his robe had come loose in his panic to get to your room, letting his torso mostly lay bare before you now. He didnt bother to tighten it either since you'd already seen his chest and stomach when sewing up his wounded arm.

'What were you doing up?' He cleared his throat in an effort to shift the tension.

'Couldn't sleep. I'm bored as hell.'

 'Fancy a wander then?' He asked.

'You're serious?'

'Yeah. Middle of the night, innit? There's not going to be anybody about.' He couldn't hide his smile at seeing the excitement shining in your eyes at his suggestion. You liked his grin, you decided.

Once you'd both thankfully pulled on some warmer clothes and left a note for Lemon, you walked to the elevator in silence. Tangerine pressed the button for the ground floor with purpose. He knew exactly where he wanted to go. The elevator smelled almost musty, old and unused.

On the fourth floor, the elevator doors opened and a bellboy came into view. Tangerine's gaze hardened as if a switch had just been flicked. It was the first time you'd looked at him and thought he looked threatening. He was on edge and lethal, a far cry away from how soft he'd been with you a few moments before.

'Going down?' He asked, stepping in before either of you could respond. His clothes were ill-fitting, messy even. He'd pulled his shirt collar up like he was trying to obscure a hickie.

'Yeah. The hell you still working at this time of night for, mate?' Tangerine asked, his eyes still steel.

'Oh the work never stops around here. You know how it is!'

The bellboy let out a laugh that you didn't like, his voice was like sandpaper.

Neither of you said anything but Tangerine sensed your discomfort, your unease. So he planted himself as a barrier between you and the bellboy, guiding you to stand between him and the elevator's wall. His hand on you felt natural, like he'd touched you a thousand times already. You wished that he had.

The move he made to shield you was obvious, deliberate but if the other man noticed then he didn't seem to care. But a flicker of your eye caught the man staring at Tangerine's hands, distracted.

The air still hung thick with anticipation of something, anything to happen.

Tangerine kept his eyes on him until the elevator eventually sang of your arrival.

'After you,' he extended a hand toward the doorway.

You felt Tangerine's hand on your back, careful not to touch your waist, as he guided you out in front of him. He stood so close to you that you could feel the heat from his chest grazing your shoulder blade. Once you'd walked a few feet he swung his neck around to see the bellhop walking in the other direction.

'What a little fucking weirdo, eh?' He whispered, 'Did you see his shoes?'

You had actually. He wore black steel-capped boots mucky they appeared almost brown at first. They looked like they belonged to a workman rather than a bellhop. You cringed at the thought of him treading that muck all over the perfect carpets throughout the hotel.

As the two of you rounded the corner, Tangerine stuck to you like glue and you were glad. It was frustrating to feel anxious about your safety in a place where you were supposed to be safe but at least Tangerine was there and he made you feel safe.

Poor Alicia was still on the front desk when you reached reception. Oil paintings encrusted with golden frames hung on the wine-dark wall behind in a crescent. Her shirt was partially undone and her eyes were stained with a ring mascara smudged from wear. She'd clearly had a long day.

'Evening, love. Is your pool open?' Tangerine asked, flashing his best smile.

She glanced at the clock on the wall and he sensed her hesitation so he produced a 50 from his wallet and slid it along the smooth counter.

'Certainly!' Her green eyes brightened as she slipped the cash beneath her sleeve. 'It's the first door on your left, sir.''

'Cheers. Enjoy your night.

The outdoor pool lay nestled in the heart of the hotel. The building wrapped around it like a blanket, funnelling the night sky down onto your heads.

'Not technically outside now are we?' He sent you a wink.

He'd come across the pool when researching for the job. He hadn't found much other information about the hotel really but the lovely outdoor pool was plastered right on the website's homepage.

Plants littered the ground, some in beds and some in heavy pots, others clambered up the sides of the building gasping gasping to be touched by the sun. A few pink petals floated along the top of the pool, fresh and unwilted.

'Bit of a shitty pool that, eh? For fuck sake, the one at my place is bigger.' Tangerine remarkef. It looked a lot bigger in the pictures.

'You have a pool?'

'Course I do. Wouldn't have bought a place without one.'

'That sounds expensive.'

'I hope so. I don't exactly do this job for the fun of it. Some jobs pay Lemon and I more than your average bloke would earn in a lifetime.' He pulled his lips downwards into a adorably comical pout, 'Half the time those are the easy ones.'

Something about Tangerine finally made sense to you. He clearly didn't come from money but the things he spent it on now were beacons of it. His golden rings were just a bit too flashy, his suit a bit too perfect to be that of a man that came from money. He'd clearly made it for himself and he wanted to show it.

You took off your shoes and rolled up your trousers, dipping one foot into the warm water. The lights shining up from the base of the pool had the water's ripples projecting onto nearly every surface. It covered your skin in coiling flickers, Tangerine's too. The water was so blue you thought it might make his eyes look dull but a glance over at him proved otherwise.

'So how did you manage to get mixed up in all this? I've read your file but I ain't buying you rubbing shoulders with Hollow Eye. You don't seem the type.'

'You're sure you want to know?' You asked and he nodded, lighting a cigarette and sinking back into the deck chair. The light caught the twinkle of his golden chain resting against his chest as he placed his hands behind his head. He hadn't bothered doing his shirt all the way up that night and you couldn't blame him.

'Only if you feel like telling.'

Part of you wanted to take this to your grave, to let it sink into the soil along with the rest of you. If you survived long enough to ever dare and get close to anyone ever again they would never learn of this. But Tangerine? Tangerine had a face that made you want to spill your every secret to him. Intentional or not, you felt so distinctly comfortable telling him things you barely wanted to admit to yourself.

'To be honest, I had no idea I was working for him until it was too late. As far as I knew I just worked the front desk at a normal spa on weekends. Normal job really. People came and went. Business people mostly, real Wall Street types. They tipped pretty well too. Can you imagine that? Being rich enough to tip a receptionist?'

It was very exclusive. No walk-ins and when people did call to make appointments it was always their secretaries rather than them. You never questioned the weird appointment hours and you never had any reason to suspect foul play. If there was ever any strange behaviour you put it down to weird rich people shit. Hollow Eye himself whose name you never knew back then only passed through the door a few days before it all happened. He'd been to see the woman, you realised.

'One night I was covering one of the weekday girl's shifts and I heard a noise from the back. So I went through to check and I found this woman all tied up and bloody. So of course, I untied her.'

 You'd found a hostage, Tangerine realised and his heart sank. All this fuss because you had the decency to help someone?

You could never forget the face of that woman no matter how hard you tried. You'd never forget the blood that caked some of her corkscrew curls as her head hung forwards, sloped shoulders sagged in defeat. She thought you were her captor but her head lifted so quickly when you asked if she was alright that she could have been gazing at the stars.

'Turns out I timed it just right because the guard who'd been watching her was taking a leak. When he came back she killed him with his own gun.'

She didn't even need to fire it, just sent the hilt into the side of his head. Despite her state, the woman struck the man like lightning and he fell like thunder. She made sure everyone else fell too. The place was teeming with Hollow Eye's men, it must have been some kind of a halfway point for them where they stopped to rest. You didn't recognise a single one of their faces before the woman put a bullet in them.

Tangerine saw the slight tremor in your shoulders, felt the pain threatening to spill from your eyes as you spoke. He felt the urge to destroy the distance between you. So with a creak of the chair beneath me he stood and then plonked himself down at your side by the shining pool's edge. He sat with his knees bent and his feet planted firmly on the tiled floor. Their colour reminded him of clotted cream.

'She killed every single person in that building except for me. Said she usually likes to make things a lot cleaner, and uses some kind of poison needles or something. But my boss, who I now know goes by Hollow Eye... she said he killed her partner...'

There was blood everywhere. It painted the walls like thrown berries from a child's hand. It covered you, it covered the woman and spread in puddles beside warm bodies in the hallways beneath flickering lights.

'The building was on fire by the time we got out of there as some kind of last message to Hollow Eye that she wasn't done with him yet, that she wouldn't be happy until she put a bullet in him too. Then she told me to run. I still don't know why she didn't just kill me too and be done with it.'

She'd thought about it. You could tell that much from the way she turned to you after kicking open the back door you never even knew existed, one of the men's guns in her hand. It would have been so easy. So simple. Just a click of trigger as the rain loud enough to drown out the sound pelted down upon you both. The blood from her broken nose mingled with sweet rain and streamed down her face, down her clothes. Her chest heaved with anger, the white fabric ran red with blood.

But she couldn't bring herself to do it.

'She said I might get a day or so head start before they realised I wasn't among the dead and that I'd had a hand in helping her. So I went home, packed a bag and ran. And I've been running ever since.'

 Now every ally and rival of Hollow Eye alike wanted a piece of you.

You. The one that set the Hornet free.

Tangerine wasn't sure what to say. It was the longest you'd ever heard him be silent. Usually, he was talking about something, the first thing that came to his mind really or humming. Even during the car ride here he was humming or pointing out the stupidest shit, anything to keep from being still and quiet.

That woman, the one you saved, must have been someone like him and Lemon. A gun for hire, an assassin, a killer, whatever anyone could ever want to call it. It was rare for him to ever hear the consequences of their actions aside from paychecks and the occasional promise of revenge that rarely reared its ugly head. Suddenly Tangerine felt guilty and that wasn't a familiar feeling to him. But more than guilt he felt the need to comfort you, to take that pain away.

Before now he'd thought his heart to be hollow, like a killer's should be, so why now did it ache for you?

'I'm so sorry, love.'

He let his hand settle over yours in gentle comfort. He wanted to offer you his arms, his entire soul for comfort. But now didn't seem like the right time.

'You don't seem like the underworld type either. You and Lemon, I mean.' You were quick to soften the fact that you'd thought about him by mentioning Lemon too. Tangerine thought it was cute.

'Hopefully we won't be for much longer,' He confessed.

'You don't want to stay in the game?'

'I'm looking for a reason not to.' He looked at you almost sadly, like he wanted nothing else in the world. You saw then the heavy look in his achingly blue eyes and recognised it as similar to the same weariness that layered your own.

'I hope you find it.'

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[abitofafreudmoment]

HELLO IRL FRIEND OF NICO

i have noticed that you are into discworld and would like to hear more about it bc i am interested in reading it but am incapable of getting into anything unless it's been hyped up to me enough and you seem like you'd be willing to ramble lovingly about this series so uhh. favorite characters? what's it about? themes? fun tidbits?

(no pressure though and sorry if this is a weird way to introduce myself hi im luce)

lol no worries Luce! yes I'm very happy to ramble for you. (post-writing here, this is so all over the place sorry for like not sticking to one area but hey it's defos a loving ramble - kinda just talked about vague stuff, but I can 100% go into specifics).

So. . . where do I begin?

40 books in the series, he wrote right up until his death. NOT a continuous plotline through all 40. In fact, I recommend not starting with the first one (two actually)as it's not spectacular (that being said, it is still worth reading once you're in the series, good for the overall worldbuilding if memory serves). below is a sorta ok guide to how they connect - I have my issues with it but it's the best I've found.

I wouldn't recommend starting with Sourcery, but that's cuz Rincewind isn't my favorite character - I'd start with either equal rites or Lords and Ladies or Mort or The Truth or The Fifth Elephant or just wherever really as long as it isn't the Colour of Magic or the Light Fantastic.

A few crucial ordering things - READ THUD AND SNUFF (and ig Making Money and Going Postal) BEFORE RAISING STEAM. READ THIEF OF TIME BEFORE NIGHT WATCH. Those are the really imperative ones that you gotta order right, generally do it vaguely chronologically and yeah. Have at it.

The Hedgehog Song - this is a tidbit that shows up a lot in the Witches books as a very rude song that Nanny Ogg sings, BUT WE NEVER GET THE WORDS and I so want them.

Because it was written over 32 years, there are so many characters that just like slowly worm their way into it and I love watching a character turn from like a single footnote into a fully-fledged, important-to-the-plot character (I'm looking at YOU, Cassanunda)

SPEAKING OF FOOTNOTES OMG the books are riddled with them and. . . chef's kiss they add So Much to the series. They're so funny.

Pratchett is actually just like so funny as an author in general, but wittily so. Not saying he does pure comedy - he doesn't. Many a time have I cried over a Pratchett book. He's also great at taking stuff and . . . twisting it ig into something brilliantly new - Take, for instance, Maskerade, which is the Phantom of the Opera but Pratchettifyed (New word! yay! I'll be using it a lot I'm sure.). or like just what he does with Fairy Tales in general (Witches Abroad, Lords and Ladies sorta)

Also his MAGIC omg - soft magic system done right. I also love like the different approaches to magic that the witches and wizard have to it. Also how like the Creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions get [spoilers removed]

The gods man. Love them. They exist, they feed off of raw belief (Small Gods' premise is that people start believing in the institution formed around a god as opposed to the god itself and then that god like almost dies cuz no-one believes in him. (surprise surprise it's a commentary on the Church)) and they play games with the lives of men (the Last Hero). Love Granny Weatherwax's opinion on them which goes smthn like this: "No use believin' in 'em, it only serves to encourage 'em." <-- As a concept belief is not simply tied to the gods either. He does a lot of stuff about how what people believe to be true can affect how they perceive things around them.

THE FOOLS. Pratchett understood the tragedy of clowns and as such his fools are so insanely sad - the Fools' Guild is the least happy of all the guilds. I love them so much

Speaking of guilds: the Guild of Thieves. is a legit guild set up by Vetenarii to do crime to the socially acceptable level and no higher - I'm doing a bad job explaining it but it's ingenious.

Vetenarii is probably one of my favorite characters in the entire series. He, above all else, understands how humans work and he uses that skill to get people to do what he wants.

Pratchett does not pull the punches when it comes to messaging and such - very anti-war, anti-racism, anti-sexism etc. Also love what he does with People and how they can/can't be controlled (The human condition as a whole ig) - one of my fav quotes from the series is Vimes saying "They're scared. You can't expect much from people when they're scared."

My personal fav book is Monstrous Regiment, which is relatively standalone. Very good. Very "horrors of war"-y with a touch of the classic [redacted due to spoilers].

I could go on, but this post is getting very long so if I do continue I'll do it in another post.

TL;DR: Pratchett = FUCKING BRILLIANT

[yoonjinsgirl]

Heyaaaa guys!!! I'm here with Chapter-7 to my series.

checkout series previous chapters: 1 💌 2💌 3💌 4💌 5💌 & 6💌 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi x fem!Reader

Summary: you wake up one day only to realize it's 2026 already & to your biggest shock you are not in your bedroom, not in your house! You try to wake yourself up from the dream! But is it really a dream or the truth of your life?

Genre: idol au, mirror world au, angst, sudden hit of confession and realization.

Taglist: Open

Updates: once a week

Warnings: This chapter in particular has lots of flashbacks and crying, please do not proceed if it could trigger you. An au concept, not something that could make sense irl, it could be dangerously delulu. please note all my writings are fictional and has nothing irl to do with any idol/person.

A/N: This chapter has both yoongi's pov & y/n's pov. Also featuring Namjoon.

Request are open & also highly welcomed and appreciated! Check my work until now: Masterlist💌 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡^·ᴗ·^♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've imagined this all night and every day!💕

Chapter - 7

Yoongi was so happy to be back and be around his members and his family ofcourse. He knew he had little time left until he starts his mandatory social service, he was happy that he could be around his army and family/friends but not satisfied because still his members had to enlist no matter what, his mind contemplating if this was a good thing that he doesn't has to be in camp or is it a curse dipped in honey sugar because only he will be left behind until the members would return and also what really is the use of being out but not being able to perform or work on music, yoongi thought.

It had already been more than a month after he completed his tour, and it was crazy as he literally went on a mirror world travel and found well things he didn't knew existed. But for the time being he knew that now he was back he's not doing it right by not coming online or not showing up anywhere but he didn't wanted to unnecessarily draw attention towards him when it was clearly his younger one's turn to have all the attention of fans as his new album was released. So he would secretly check up from time to time what fans are up to or if they missed him.

Meanwhile you who weren't aware of anything just like another fans were getting insane over his disappearance and to add more trouble you would keep getting flashbacks every now then and it would make you feel dizzy. If there would be a day without flashbacks you would dream about the same, so either way those scenes kept replaying in your mind. So at this point you were more than desperate to either get rid of them or get to know why was this all happening. You tried to remove the ring but unfortunately it won't come out, when you tried all the suggestions people gave, you ended up hurting yourself or getting allergies. And all of this was way too much for you handle.

So you decided you are gonna take a break and be home all day to find answers try to put every single thing and put them into a puzzle to know what are these flashbacks actually about? Is it a scene from some kdrama that has stuck in your mind and now it keeps playing? Or is it some fanfiction scene which has left a long lasting impression on your mind? What is it? Only if you try to remember all the things you keep seeing and put them all in order maybe you could figure out something you thought.

So that day when you came home, luckily your parents were out of town for next few days, so you just made yourself quick noodles and now you were ready to sleep, suddenly your eyes feel on the ring that sat perfectly on your ring finger.

And you won't lie all though it freaked the hell out of you out that how did it appear on your finger you definitely thought it looked so pretty and beautiful and that you loved how it somehow reminded you of yoongi, as you gave it a light stroke suddenly you had a flashback of yoongi sliding ring down your hand while you cry and hug him, "OMG what was that?", you question yourself as you feel a tear rolling down from corner of your eyes. " OMG what the hell! Why am i crying now? God what is wrong with me? Why do i keep seeing things that never happened or it will ever happen in real life! What is happening to me?" "I do love yoongi but the more i see things the more i feel something that i shouldn't feel, the things i feel for him is forbidden as a fan even if i want I'm not allowed to feel this", you mumbled to yourself as you breakdown crying ugly.

And unexpectedly another flashback comes in, with a similar thing happening to you as you fall down crying but you were not in your house, what is happening to you, you think as you feel dizzy and it feels like you were remembering something as you see yourself running towards the door in an unknown house and you see yoongi greeting you at the door as he comes in and hugs you.

"NO NO NO! this is supposed to be a dream! why do i see things like this, i need to stop this it hurts so much", you say as you try to get up and crawl yourself to your bedding, you see your phone lying over with yoongi's picture on your mobile's lock screen as well as a cute pc of him on your phone covers sleeve. You know what to do as you quickly open your sns and message him again while crying as you don't know what to do with yourself anymore.

You doze off after messaging him not knowing anything about yoongi's situation on his side.

Meanwhile yoongi on the other hand was checking his sns accounts as soon as he opens Instagram there are dozens of notifications popping up as he accidentally hits on your dm, while checking messages and trying to slide out all the notification as he panics until his eyes catches your recent message and he instantly knows it you, the only one he was searching for! His heart ached as he read all your messages. Mostly because how come he never stumbled across you or your messages? But also because how you were having such a hard time and he was upset as he knew you didn't remembered the times with him but from whatever you had told him he figured out that you were getting flashbacks of those memories so there was still hope that maybe if he tried he could remind you all, he thought.

It was almost early morning for him when he checked upon your message and he couldn't sleep anymore not atleast after knowing that you were not at any ease, that you were having hard times. His mind kept playing all the times you spend with him and all the messages that you had sent him. His heart ached at the fact that he was not by your side! Not near you, to hold you in his arms..to hug you tightly to comfort you. You were there with him all these years as army who loved him so much, you really did your messages were evident to how you felt. He felt he was terrible that he never noticed you. But how would he after all you both lived in different countries, and you hadn't been to any concerts or fan meetings, and he hardly had time so check on every single tweet/post/letters/messages/dms on sns.

Meanwhile you cried to sleep but once again woke up in middle of night, panting and sobbing as you just saw another dream. You were shocked to death about everything you just saw, as the thin and foggy line between your flashbacks/dreams was now getting clear to you.

Probably all the times whatever you saw was truth, it wasn't your delusion, it was all real. You spending your time with yoongi, the time you met bangtan, the time he slide the ring, the time you met woozi, the call you received before you were teleported back into your world. As you slowly start realizing what all happened you, you getting teleported to some unknown world and into the house and life of someone similar as yoongi, you catching up feelings for him and then leaving him alone there without informing. You felt like a true betrayer.

But then you remember woozi telling you that it was a mere realm thing making it happen and not reality, so even yoongi from another never really loved you! Nor he'll will even ever know about you, as the memories of everyone whoever met you during that time must have already been erased you think. You chuckle bitterly at your misfortune and still feeling a like betrayer. Guilt tripping followed as you realize it wasn't really yoongi whom you fell in love for! Weren't you the same y/n who was always vocal calling yoongi your soulmate, confessing you'll never fall for anyone expect him! even if he had no idea you existed, you were always sure that he was the only one for you! How are you gonna look into the mirror and face yourself now? Resulting into another breakdown and you finally doze off to sleep tired and having no energy to fight your thoughts anymore.

Meanwhile for yoongi it looked man was getting no sleep unable to get you out of his mind, his thoughts all about what you must be doing? were you able to sleep? were you crying? you won't do anything silly right! of course you wouldn't he tried reassuring himself. Overthinking only made him a mess, every passing minute felt more uncomfortable to him.

That's when realization hit him what if you would recall your memories thinking your memories had another story, because he knew all the truth, he was informed about everything, but you certainly wouldn't know or could ever guess that the man you met.. the yoongi that you met was not is dupe but it was himself! what if you never try to contact him after regaining your memories or even worse what if you distant yourself from him, from bangtan, deleting all your sns that could be useful to get in contact with, your sns accounts were his only hope and way to find you or contact.

The more he thought the more he was losing both; his mind and his calm. His phone rang as he kept ignoring it because he knew he surely wasn't in any state to talk with anyone, but boy he was wrong after few good minutes someone rang his door bell as he groaned and unwillingly got up, to his surprise it was namjoon standing outside his door and waving towards the camera.

He chuckled at his behavior and opened the door.

"O hyung what took you so long to open the door?"

"Were you asleep?"

"Were you crying?"

"O also why didn't you received any of my phone calls?"

Joon threw bunch of questions to yoongi as he entered his house and now following him towards his living room.

"Yahhh hyung what's up with you, why are you not answering my questions now when I'm right infront of you?", joon sulked as he asked yoongi.

"Yahhh kim namjoon don't you think you are asking too much? You just came here a second ago how about you a take a breathe and let me take a breathe too!", Yoongi replied him.

🐨: "Aisshhh hyung sorry! But what's wrong with you?"

🐱: "It's nothing!"

🐨: "Don't lie hyung if you don't want to say it's fine but atleast don't lie!"

"There are things Namjoonahh which couldn't be explained, there things that exist in real but it's hard for people to believe on their existence and you just have to deal with it but for me i guess I'm not able to deal with it nor i can avoid or ignore it, so i guess i will just have to suffer." Yoongi said shrugging off.

🐨: "No ways!"

🐱: "What??"

🐨: "Omgggg no ways hyung???"

🐨: "Are you? No don't even tell me???"

🐱: "Yahhh what???"

🐨: "Hyung are you?? Are you..like you know?"

"No i don't know namjoon what do you mean just say it" yoongi said getting a little irritated now.

"Aishhh okay I'll just say it okay! Don't get angry! But I'm just suspicious like I'm not sure but maybe do you think are you.. like are you in love????", namjoon finally asked him.

"Hajimaaa!!! Mwoyaaa!! Aniiyaaa! Yahhh jinjja kim namjoon what the hell are you asking? Waeee! How wo..would i..ii..i fall in l..l.love, n..no.noo... okay.. no..noo I'm not in love." Yoongi face palmed himself to hide his red cheeks.

"Well hyung your flustered face and stuttering says a whole different story", namjoon asked suspiciously.

"Aishhh this guy knows me too well", yoongi mumbled quietly.

"Kekekeke i heard it hyung! Ofcourse i know you hyung, we have been together since 13 years now", namjoon said teasingly.

Yoongi just gave him a okay don't oversmart me look. To which namjoon chuckled slightly and amused how Yoongi still won't accept it from his mouth.

"C'mon hyung tell me already who is she?"

"Is she korean? Do i or any other members know her?"

"Did you confessed to her?"

"Or like do you love her or just have a crush on her?"

"Unfortunately hyung your silence won't reply so you'll have to say something", namjoon said sarcastically.

"Really? Then why don't you let me speak namjoon???", yoongi replied him.

"Kekeke yeah right so what is this fuss about??", namjoon asked yoongi excited and kind of shocked to know about how did none of the members could figure out that he already had his eyes for someone. Which unfortunately wasn't exactly true but namjoon had no idea.

"So there's this girl whom i know.. "

"What do you mean you know her hyung? lol you have met her right?", namjoon asked cutting him off.

🐱: "No...i mean yes! I mean i have met her..but you see she doesn't knows it was me.."

"What does anyone of this means hyung? If you met her then how can she not know it was you? Is she not korean? Or maybe not into kpop music or any kind of international music? How can she meet you but not know you.. Like you are BTS! Min Yoongi! Suga! Agustd! Millions of armys proposing you everyday going "YOONGI MARRY M...." before namjoon could speak any further yoongi cut him off.

"Shut Up Namjoon! Will you? now listen to me and i swear if you interrupt me or say a word, I'll not tell you a thing! do you get it?", yoongi warned him and namjoon nodded quietly.

"Okay that's good! So now listen. You need to understand my point and need to trust me, this might sound insane but hear me out, and yes this a bit complicated." Yoongi stopped to look at namjoon who was listening to him carefully and Yoongi continued further, "So i meet her but she doesn't knows it was me..." but as soon yoongi sees Namjoon's expressions he sighs, "okay so no she is not Korean. I don't if she is into kpop but yes is an army she likes our songs. Suddenly yoongi remembers you reacting to woozi so he continues, "Ahhh and yes she also knows about seventeen so i guess she's familiar with kpop, but most importantly she's army".

Curiosity takes over namjoon as he can't just sit back and not ask so he quickly interrupts, "You said she is army but then how come she not know or recognize you hyung! I can't imagine army not recognizing us, infact i believe out of all people out,it's armys how knows us better than all, even better than we know us! So how come she not know its you???", Namjoon frowns all confused.

"I understand namjoon but it's my fault! I actually.. i was in a situation where i had to make sure she believes that it's not me who she is meeting! I mean, I'm sure she still must be suspicious but no for now she doesn't really known that it was me and it could be quite be a task to make her realize that it was really me. Because i strongly made her believe that I'm just a duplicate and not myself." Yoongi explained

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HYUNG! are you crazy? why would you do that especially if you knew you liked her?", namjoon was shocked but more than he was furious that why would yoongi do such a stupid thing. It made no sense to him.

"Actually i kind of think i..i.. Actually i..", yoongi stuttered.

"What I? say it already hyung I'm going crazy", namjoon was already mad almost pulling his small hairs out of frustration.

"Actually Namjoonahh i think i..iii you know love her!", yoongi said laughing awkwardly, trying to not look stupid infront of his younger one.

"Oh my goshhh Jinjjaaa!! Seriously hyung how can you create such a mess when you loved her?? why did you lied to her! OMGG WHAT THE HECK HYUNG! i can't believe you did something so stupid like that!", finally namjoon blurted out.

"I know Namjoonahh that's why i said now I'll have to suffer because of my own.", yoongi said sighing deeply.

"I can't believe you?? Are you kidding me?? you can still solve this shit hyung! You can still prove her that it is you and not some duplicate of yours. I'm sure you can met her again and make sure to remind her of all the memories from the time you met her and I'm sure it will work. And if you think it's okay maybe our members can help you hyung! if you want we can tell them." There was a few minutes of silence as namjoon calmed down.

"Do you have any contact of her?" Namjoon asked yoongi expecting something good.

"Well you see i did not asked for anything i just pretend and stick to my role, but i do know her sns account." Yoongi replied a little embarrassed.

"Great finally something good! I can't believe hyung you didn't get her contact details?", Namjoon said glaring his older one in disbelief.

"What country is she from and what's her name??"

"L/N Y/N, she's from C/N" yoongi said quickly. Ofcourse he knew your name and where you lived, he had read every message of yours carefully.

"Ahhh thank god you know that much. We can track her down through sns account and you can call or maybe we can arrange a meeting for you both hyung and everything will be fine, I'm sure! I mean sure it might take some time, plus the mess that you have created is huge and complicated but if we try and do it all properly you can get her and confess your feelings later first you need to win her trust and make her believe it's really you!", namjoon said trying to lighten up yoongi's mood.

Meanwhile yoongi only nodded slightly thinking he really messed up maybe he should have done something there and then to let you know it was really him. But really how he would have actually done anything? he was already under your energy's spell and he had no idea if you were his duplicate's girl or what? He had no idea that you too were stuck like him in the mirror world.

"Hyung?"

"Yoongi Hyung"

"Suga Hyung"

"Hyungnim??"

"Ye ye..."

"Where are you lost?"

"Nothing namjoon i think i really messed up, i swear i feel world is against us or maybe worse maybe our meeting was just a coincidence..", yoongi said looking upset.

"No hyung i don't think so, i feel you were destined to met, if not coincidence, then there would have been another way, but you would definitely met her", namjoon said cheering up him.

"I hope so, i feel so bad right now you know she messages me about everything on my account, and she isn't doing great ever since we got into separate ways, i feel so helpless right now", yoongi shared.

"It's okay hyung atleast you realized your mistake, it's still not late, we can still fix things" namjoon told yoongi.

"Thank you Namjoonahh!", yoongi said as he hugged him.

"AISHHHHH this hyung" that's all namjoon mumbled.

As you slept, you had absolute no idea your messages were going to change your life! Your life was about take a whole new turn. But will it be for good? Or will things mess up even more is something that only time could know or could answer. For now your mind was stuck in the dream phase with yoongi. And yoongi determined to bring you back to his life and make up for all the hard times you had to go through alone.

TO BE CONTINUED....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡^·ᴗ·^♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I always say, REQUEST ARE OPEN!!!💌

Categories I write for are: imagines/reaction, scenarios, thoughts, text post, drabbles and timestamps.♡

So if you've requests please go on and submit it! I'll be happy to write one. Also your feedbacks are highly welcomed and appreciated.💜

[dandelionflowery]

Intro post!

(if you're looking for the breast cancer awareness post it is here)

HII!!

My name on the internet is Dandelion, but you can call me whatever you like honestly. It's so hard to find a good name around here, the fae keep stealing them

I use any pronouns, online people default to they/them, IRL people default to she/her, you can use whatever you feel like!

I'm aroace 🧡💛🤍🩵💙 and my gender is up to interpretation lol

I'm 16 and I live in France but I have both French and American citizenship

I have both scoliosis (diagnosed, 45°) and probably dyslexia (not officially diagnosed but all the internet tests I did were screaming at me to go get an official diagnosis) and those two really hate each other who deCIDED SCOLISOIS SHOULD BE SPELLED THE WAY IT IS (if i spell it correctly be aware that either I copied it from somewhere, or i thought about it for WAY too long, or it was a monkeys on keyboards thing)

I created a blog just for reblogging shit (aptly named @dandelionflowery-reblogs) but even with that I can't promise to tag stuff correctly on either...

I'm not often super active on here, at least not regularly, mostly because I have way too many classes but sometimes I go absolutely insane and spend like an entire day on here (oops)

~~☆~~

I like:

- Harry Potter (Drarry, Deamus, Romione, Linny are my main ships but there's a decent chance you could get me to like a specific portrayal of just about any pairing lol) [also fuck jkr]

- The Marauders (WOLFSTARRR! Also Jily and aroace Peter and maybe Remadora. Same thing as before: open to other pairings [I know of and appreciate the ships with the girls but usually I'll lean towards the first ones mentioned actually I'll lean towards wolfstar with background Jily and aa battery Peter)

- Reading and books in general

- Fanfics, fanart!! (Both writing/drawing them and reading/simping for them)

Speaking of which, I have a side blog that's actually technically marauders themed! @mybrain-fanficedition

- Interactions on here!!

- there's probably some other stuff I like but I can't think of anything rn

~~☆~~

I don't like:

- Following from above, I said I was open to pretty much any pairing, ... I lied lol

I don't really like adult/child pairings (especially not snarry) but I am still open to at least trying it, but it is much much harder to convince me about that

- That said, irl adult/child is very bad and dni if you think it should be a thing in real life, fanfic is fiction do not attempt

- Also the usual list of if you're homophobic transphobic uh racist or just a generally mean person

~~☆~~

I like talking to people even if you don't know what to say just say hi!

Also I have other social media, come find me if you want!

@/flowerydandelion, @/dandelionfloweryart and @/wands.swords.and.books on Instagram!

On Ao3 I'm like 90% sure it's DandelionFlowery and uh probably similar usernames on Discord and Reddit [though I'm not often active on there]

Wait if I link my ao3 that means i need to actually post my fics lol

Leave comments if you read my fics, I love feedback!! (or just leave kudos, it makes me irrationally happy lol)

[i-am-church-the-cat]

rereading your Hunting Down Dreams series like I'm doing devotionals <3 I wonder if you have any crumbs to share from the patron deity au! like how many patron gods are there, what makes a god pick a particular child, does the hunter deity have a name? or like have logan's or oscar's gods "surfaced" at inopportune times before, do logan's eyes actually get brighter when the hunter god is active?

sorry for the question bomb, no pressure to answer, just insanely curious to know more!!

Omg hi thank you so much! No worries at all, I love questions like this

How many patron gods are there?

So many, an uncountable number, for every concept in every culture that exists there is a god lol

What makes a god pick a particular child?

Gods choose who to “sire” based on who they believe will serve their goals the most. Most of the time, they’ll stick with certain family lineages bc they’re proven to work well with them. But in the case of Logan for example, the family god knew immediately Logan wouldn’t fit well with them. But for Oscar, he could of gone with his family god or Poppy bc he would be a good fit for either.

Does the hunter deity have a name?

Yes, but i’m keeping it a secret for now :3. The Sargeant family god’s name is Valen though.

Have Logan’s or Oscar’s gods “surfaced” at inopportune times before?

Oh definitely, but it’s more just struggles of having their god than certain situations. For Oscar, he’s constantly sleepy, so much so that he sometimes can’t even leave the paddock after a race before he’s falling asleep. For Logan, he has no control over his hyperfocus, and while Oscar and people who know him have learned to adjust to it, strangers found it weird/off-putting, especially when he was a kid.

Do Logan’s eyes actually get brighter when the hunter hod is active?

Yeah! So irl, Logan’s eyes are normally green but they look different colors depending on what light he’s in. I took this and made it a part of the au. So basically, when Logan’s hunter mode is turned on, his eyes turn from green to blue. I imagine it sometimes as like, if you’re in a dark forest at night and suddenly see two glowing blue eyes and are like “fuck that’s a wolf isn’t it” (not a thing that would actually happen but theatrically speaking).

Please don’t apologize, I love asks like this, and am always happy to give more information on any of my stories!

[strawglicks]

Sorry for the ramble in your inbox incoming- I'm a really huge fan of your analysis type posts like the ones about Cathal and recently Flint ;A; So I hope its ok to maybe throw in my own 2 cents about Cogs/their society- (Sorry this gets rambly I thought about this last night and writing this like an hour after waking up lol)

I think what alot of people kind of (I wouldnt say ignore- more of:) don't really get is that I dont believe characters like Cathal or Flint have bad tendencies because they really want to in a way, (I kind of worded that poorly but point is) but because their society rewards and encourages that type of behavior. I think you said something kind of similar on Cathals post- But especially for Flint, whose a Bossbot (Who are literally the embodiment of a toxic workplace and elitism. I believe a old snippet from the TTO magazines says "They have no real skills of their own, just the ability to push down others and stay on top!" Or something to that nature.) he has to be demanding and imposing. There is no benefit to him in being kind. (Like looking at Misty for example) And don't get me wrong I don't believe that if Flint and Cathal were removed from Cog society they'd be better/objectively nicer (Like Flint not being condescending to Toons and Cathal not making people do things for him and being encouraged to try) But I do wonder how much of it is pressure, or how much of it is egged on and rewarded. Atleast in the aspects it relates to how they treat others.

(..And also I wonder what happens to Cogs that don't get jobs and are seen as ..not functioning. Since Graham was freaking the hell out in "Meeting Of Two Minds" over the possibility of not getting the job. I have a whole thing about this actually in my oc lore but thats another thing entirely I'll write about someday I swear)

Also I gasped when I saw the doodle of Graham in the MSI shirt finally a MSI listener Graham truther. I think he'd like the album "How I Learned To" and of course "You'll Rebel To Anything". I associate him mainly with the songs "Lights Out", "On It", and "You're No Fun Anymore" :p (This has been my favorite band since I was like 13 and now I get to spill all my opinions xD) I always imagined him doing the guitar backbend their bassist does! And my final hc is that Flint plays bass and Graham plays the main guitar. I think it fits them .. some people overlook bass when its actually pretty hard to learn from what I hear and vital to the song. (Like heres Feel Good Inc w/o the bass.. feels wrong x_x)

Anyways thanks for reading ;A; take care and happy new year!

RAHHHH EATING THIS UP YUM YUM YUM YES YES YOU GET IT

THe biggest issue with Cogs Inc is that it REWARDS and ENCOURAGES these poor behaviors, worsening these characters as people. ESPECIALLY cathal considering the position of power they’re in. I’m sure it applies to a ton of other cogs too, but unfortunately I haven’t gotten to them yet bc I’m not as insane abt them . LMAO

And yeah since cogs are literally built for work, it’s a wonder what happens to those who can’t find a job as easily as others. Hoping that gets built on since it’s clear in MOTM that these cogs have to actually apply and go to interviews and probably face some trial and error to land a job, just like people IRL.

ALSO. THE BAND HCS. I love it and you’re SOOOO RIGHT about the backbend that is so grahamcore. And yes I’m pretty sure Flint does play bass, I think his creator mailman said smth abt that on their blog . AND IM SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT UP FEEL GOOD INC bc i did draw flint in a demon days shirt in that same animatic . And ive def drawn them in the same shirt a couple times in the past too . I’ve always imagined him to be a Gorillaz fan, maybe graham too

Anyway ty for these thoughts im eating them up and leaving no crumbs . I love when ppl come to ramble in my inbox bc discussing this stuff IS SO FUN and a good outlet for me esp when i might be having art burnout rn .