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#it aint shit!
fernsnailz · 5 months
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strong contender for my new favorite tee k.o. shirt
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r-u-living · 3 months
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I'm sorry but this is just so fucking funny
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doccywhomst · 2 years
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hey remember when pop-ups and banner ads were associated with malware? when youtube didn't have any ads at all? when you could get a cheap netflix subscription that was better than cable TV? digital marketing experts estimate that most americans see 5-10k ads every day. what the hell is going on
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sunlit-mess · 1 month
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☠️☠️☠️ what is bro doing
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chocochococoffee · 1 year
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what happens when you change your web standards to be only english-speaker inclusive
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yuwuta · 5 months
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satoru is the friend that always upstages your boyfriend, but he’s so good to you that your boyfriend can’t really complain without coming across as the asshole in the equation. your boyfriend sends you flowers after your promotion, but satoru sends an arrangement of roses in the shape of your favorite animal. your boyfriend suggests going out to dinner for your birthday and gets you the piece of jewelry you’ve been eyeing as a present, but satoru’s the one who books the michelin-star restaurant and surprises you with a $10k handbag. you car breaks down and your boyfriend offers to pick you up/drop you off at work for the week, but satoru steps in a loans you his car and then tells you can keep it. and when your boyfriend does get the balls to confront satoru, he’s awfully relaxed, very calm as he explains that you’re his best friend in the whole world, so he just wants to treat you right. no harm in that, right? 
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splatloafbud · 7 months
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acht.... why are u like this,,, i wanna put them in a salad spinner
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jerich0two · 7 months
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Jazz cat! (Lest we forget who my favourite is)
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Been seeing a few posts with overlord-era Husk playing the saxophone and I am ALLLL for it. This post is for ME. I am the demand for Jazz Saxophonist Husk Content. If only I knew how to draw a sax... or someone playing one... oh, well!
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thottybrucewayne · 4 months
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I think what I want to get into with the "Anyone can do harm." thing that I keep beating yall over the head with is that literally anyone, anyone at all can do harm it's not "in your DNA" to be an abuser or written in the stars that you'll be a predator. Whatever image you have of an abuser in your head, drop it and replace it with your favorite person in the world and you'll probably be closer to the truth than you realize. It's easy to address harm when it's coming from someone you already hate. I see it happen all the time. Someone you couldn't stand for no real reason does something heinous then all of a sudden here comes the avalanche of "I always knew they were a fucked up individual." No, you didn't. There is no possible way you could have known, you just already didn't fuck with them before they started doing something you could use to justify your hatred of them. I'm guilty of it too! I'm petty, mean, vindictive, and yes! I'm way quicker to believe something bad about someone I hate versus someone I love because I'm human. Still, y all gotta learn to move past that initial "Well, they were always nice to me!" gut feeling and understand that nobody truly knows anyone and anyone can be capable of anything. Even victims. Even you.
#thotty speaks#thotty rants#I was thinking about that Christine chan post and its like yeah yall really don't know how bad it got for her before she did what she did#It reminded me of that thing on tiktok where people take 'cringy' cosplayers videos (most of whom are literal children) and put racist or#bigoted text over it then reupload it to call them out then the og creator gets a flood of harassment mostly from people who hated them for#the crime of being weird on the internet but now they can use 'oh but they're a bigot!' as an excuse to tear them down until they come out#and say 'hey i didn't say this someone stole my shit' and nobody takes their vids down nor apologizes because they didn't fuck with them#anyway so wash rinse repeat#idk I just wish that people had the same smoke for people they actually like#mostly cause I'm tired of being accused of 'switching up' every time I cut people off or stop fuckin with an artist#like this is what we should be doing!!!! ACG ANYBODY CAN GET IT!#It should be smoke for ANYONE who does harm every your fave people!#otherwise you create this world where taking people to task for the harm they've done is less about the harm#and more about justifying our own actions#anyway keep that same energy across the board that's all I'm saying#cause if it comes out tomorrow that somebody close to me did some fucked up shit I'm out of there period#aint no talkin bout shit and that's on me growing up as a child told that certain grown folks can't be alone with me#but they allowed in my house...#Idk about yall but i'm ending that generational curse with me
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keii · 25 days
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late morning
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spicyraeman · 9 months
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Companion Tents: Girls Edition
Shadowheart
(teddybear not included)
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Lae'zel
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Karlach
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txttletale · 1 year
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really have no patience for people who say they want 'accountability' or 'an apology' and then criticize apologies for not performing remorse in the way they'd personally prefer. makes it really clear that what they actually want is the thrill of having inflicted visible emotional pain
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Long time no see.
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explicit-tae · 19 days
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B.A.S
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You knew you weren't shit, but you still gave your boyfriend 10 minutes to respond to your text before you went out to be a hoe. Luckily, Jungkook wasn't shit either.
Word Count: 3.375
Warning: shameless cheating, if yall didn't know i love meg well ig now you do?, car sex, oral (m/f), dirty talk, public sex, creampie, unprotected sex
how could i not write something inspired by megan thee mf stallion??
Your eyes scan the time on your phone and you release an unamused scoff. With a shake of your head, you decide to open up the messages you sent 10 minutes ago to your boyfriend - a simple one that read “Can you pick me up?” and send a follow up saying that you already had a ride. 
Your boyfriend was asleep - it’s obvious. It’s 2 am and he works at 6. You couldn’t be upset with him. But you were just a girl - a one that wasn’t shit in the slightest. You were positive he wouldn’t respond unless you called him, and if you had he would’ve most definitely picked you up like you asked.
But you didn’t really want him to pick you up. You wanted to look as if you did so when you questioned why you were “upset” with him, it’d already be a reason. And now you have every excuse to walk up to Jungkook, another person who wasn’t shit, and have him entertain you.
“Y/N…Y/N…”
Jungkook’s voice is full of delight when you walk up to him. The music is loud, but his voice is crystal clear. His eyes are amused, a smirk forming onto his lips. He knows why you’re here before him at this time of night. He knows full well he’s going to give you what you want - but he wouldn’t be Jeon Jungkook if he didn’t talk shit and tease you.
“Boyfriend not treating you right?” Jungkook asks with a tilt of his head. Wrong, he was. He notices that your nails are always done, along with your hair and your clothes are often never repeated. You drove a brand new car off the lot and always had a black card to swipe.
You also didn’t have a job - so it’s obvious who was funding this for you.
“Treating me better than you treat your girlfriend.” you retort back playfully, challenging him.
Jungkook laughs, eyebrows knitting. “She’s just fine,” he responds. “she get’s treated just the same as you do with your boyfriend. Only…faithful.” he shrugs.
Jungkook wasn’t shaming you for what you do. He was the last person to do so. Neither of you were shit as a partner and he didn’t deserve his girlfriend like you didn’t deserve your boyfriend. That didn’t mean you two were going to stop doing this. He knows you block him unless you want something from him specifically - most likely sex and attention when your boyfriend was far too busy. He has an entirely different phone just to talk to you to not get caught up as well. 
“My place?” Jungkook steps closer to you, lip piercing gleaming underneath the dim lights. 
“Where is she at?”
You never said Jungkook’s girlfriend’s name like he never mentioned your boyfriends. It was a respectable thing.
“Out of town.” Jungkook responds quickly. “I have more than one penthouse, Y/N. Can’t get caught up.”
You scoff. “Men.” you shake your head. “I didn’t drive.”
“That’s fine. I did.” Jungkook blinks. “I missed you, Y/N. You’ve blocked me for far too long.”
You roll your eyes, your hand lifting up and manicured nails digging into his chin. He allows you to pull him a bit closer to you. 
“You’re so full of shit.” you spat. “I’m going to ride your face. Let’s go.”
Jungkook follows you without any hesitation. You already know where his car is parked, having spotted it when you arrived. You wait for him to open your side of the door and he does, already knowing what he was supposed to do. You sit back against the seat and hum.
“I have a Plan B.” Jungkook sing-songs, slamming his driver door shut as he enters. He wiggles his brows. “I haven’t came in you in so long.”
“Ugh,” you roll your eyes once more at how vulgar he was. “where is it?” you ask. It’s as if he sensed you’d be on his cock tonight.
“Glove department. Put it in your purse.” Jungkook grasps your chin this time, the car turning on with a press of a button. “What will it be?” he questions. “Kiss or no kiss?”
Jungkook’s lips do look inviting. You usually would go with no kiss, but sometimes you’d treat the man. Today you decided to be nice.
“Kiss.” you murmur.
Jungkook’s lips are soft as you remember, pressing firmly against yours. It causes your throat to rumble with soft moans, your hand wishing to touch him, but you don’t. You couldn’t get too far ahead of yourself now. 
“I can’t wait to fuck you.” Jungkook releases your lips, a smirk placed on his lips. “I knew you’d be back.”
“You’re so fucking obsessed with me.” you scoff. “It’s like you sit around and wait for me.”
“I never have to wait long.” Jungkook retorts rather quickly, shooting you a wink. “You’ll always come back.”
“Hm,” you sit back against your seat, licking your lips. He had stolen all of your gloss. “and like a lost puppy,  you’re always there.”
Jungkook cackles, putting the car into drive and begins to do just that. “I suppose that means we’re both not shit, huh, baby?” he says.
How correct Jungkook was.
Jungkook is never the one to keep his hands to himself. One hand is on the steering wheel while the other rests onto your thigh. He squeezes it harshly, the skin of his arm erupting in goosebumps at how excited he was to be with you again. Sure, one day you would probably grow bored of this - the blocking him to just unblock him so he could fuck you stupid. But until that day came, he was going to jump at the opportunity.
Jungkook’s hand on your bare thigh shouldn’t cause your thighs to clench. Maybe it’s the tattoos, you think, it’s always the tattoos with Jungkook. Your eyes lifted upwards to follow the trail of tattoos to who they belong to. Jungkook is driving rather fast down the vacant road, determined to take you to his penthouse - the same one you always went to. Now you realize why. 
“You take all the girls you cheat with to this penthouse?”
You were only teasing - somewhat. 
“Why?” Jungkook’s lip twitches upward. “Jealous?”
“Fuck you, Jeon.” you slap his hand off of your thigh, the warmth of it you missed greatly. 
“I will, Y/N.” Jungkook only places his hand back onto your thigh without a care. “There aren't any other girls I do this with, baby. Just you.”
Again, you roll your eyes at his words. “You’re a liar.”
“Who are you for me to lie to?”
You’re taken aback by Jungkook’s words and the truth in it all. He did have a point. There isn’t a point in lying to you seeing as you were just the same as him in a way. You swallow back a response. 
“Exactly.” Jungkook snorts. “You should be happy to receive special treatment.”
You scoff, but remain silent. Your eyes look back towards the road as Jungkook continues to rub along your thigh. You place your own hand over Jungkook’s one, thumb tracing the tattoos on his hand. You blink a few times, slowly licking your lips. Your head turns to look at Jungkook and he’s highly focused on the road. You tilt your head a bit, the gears in your head turning. “Take your dick out.”
Jungkook’s head snaps to you. “What?”
“Take your dick out.” you repeat coolly. “I’m bored and I want to suck it.”
Jungkook swallows your words, but he would be lying if he didn’t find it hot. When Jungkook doesn’t move fast enough, you decide to do it yourself. His jeans are tight, but it doesn’t stop you. You pull at the button of his jeans and dig your hand inside. 
“You’re hard already.” you giggle. “You’re such a whore.”
Jungkook places both hands onto the steering wheel, cleaning it tightly. He swallows once more, trying to focus on the road ahead of him. You wanted him to cave and he wasn’t going to give you the satisfaction. Not now, not-
You dip your head down without a warning, yet he should have expected you to. You had stated wanting to suck him off, and you were going to do just that. His safety and your own obviously wasn’t your priority.
Your tongue wraps around the tip of his cock and instantly you begin to suckle onto it. You know just how Jungkook likes to be pleasured. He’s the type who enjoys the build up and to be edged on to the point that he couldn’t take it anymore. 
Jungkook’s hands clenched tighter and tighter, knuckles white and palms growing irritated. If he took his eyes off of the road, he would obviously crash and this would make front page news. He couldn’t allow that.
“Slow down.”
Jungkook’s voice was meek. It’s all you need to not do what he says. Instead, your tongue flicks past his slit slowly just to tease him. Oftentimes, you enjoy watching Jungkook’s reaction when you suck him off. But, hearing his slight moans and pants was enough to satiate your ego.
Jungkook’s left leg begins to jolt as you continue on further, bringing the entirety of his cock into your mouth. Your hands hold onto his thighs for support as you suckle onto it.
“Slow…down…” Jungkook attempts to speak, but it only releases as a curt moan with each word. He’s no longer speeding down the highway and instead allows the car to drive itself, the speed decreasing by the second. His head pushes back against the headrest, his eyes blinking at the road rapidly. There’s still no cars in sight due to it being this late.
Jungkook swallows, roughly stomping down on the breaks. You yelp when the car comes to a complete halt, his cock springing from your lips. 
Jungkook puts the car in park, a dark look in his eyes. 
“You could’ve warned me.” you grumble, wiping your lips. “Why-”
“I’m going to fuck you.” Jungkook says casually. “Then we’re going to drive to my penthouse. And I’ll fuck you again.”
Oh.
Jungkook unbuckles his seatbelt and opens the car door. He slams it shut and proceeds to walk around to the passenger side.
You lick your lips in anticipation as Jungkook yanks the car door open. The door lights are bright in your face as you look up at Jungkook.
“You’re so full of shit.” Jungkook murmurs, stepping closer to grasp your face in his hands. His thumb rubs gently on your cheek. “Turn around.”
You've never done this before with Jungkook and it only makes you even more excited. You turn around in his seats, skirt rising up  - and you're sure that was his entire reasoning. You can feel him behind you, hands roaming your hips, squeezing them for a moment before snatching your skirt up higher. 
“How barbaric of you to fuck me out in the open like this.” you say teasingly, but you cannot stop yourself from wiggling your hips gently in anticipation. 
“Is that why you’re so wet?” Jungkook allows his fingers to glide across your clothed clit. “Legs spread open ready for me to take you.”
It wouldn’t be a lie, nor was there any intention from your side of you stopping him. This is new for you but you’re more than willing.
Jungkook glances around - not a car or other living being in sight for as far his eyes can see. He averted his eyes back to you. His fingers push your skirt up further, licking his lips at the sight of your lace panties.  
“Are you this much of a whore for your boyfriend?” 
Jungkook’s fingers hook into your panties and he pushes them aside. You’re so wet - you always were. Maybe the cheating for you was a rush just as it was for him. Now, add public sex to the mix and the adrenaline was pumping. 
“Only during the week.” you respond, biting your lip with you feel his thumb place itself onto your clit and rub slowly, tauntingly. 
Jungkook chuckles, but he doesn’t respond. He places his thumb into his mouth and suckles for a moment. Just how he remembers. He cannot wait to taste you later.
“Let’s see how much you missed me.” Jungkook grasps his cock and slaps it against your clit. He smirks upon witnessing you clench around nothing, seemingly wishing he was inside of you.
You bite your lips as Jungkook begins to enter you. You couldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that you had missed him and contemplated unblocking him several times before seeing him tonight.
Jungkook holds your hips as he enters you fully, head drawn back. He parts his lips to let out a short breath at how wet you were now. He couldn’t wait to take you to his home and have you fully, but as of right now this would do. 
Jungkook’s face was always so telling when he was pleased and you longed to see it now, but you couldn’t. Especially since he also would know just how good you were feeling, as well, and that would only leave him smug.
Jungkook doesn’t hesitate any further to drill his cock deep inside of you, fingernails bruising your skin. His balls slap against your clit with each thrust and you couldn’t contain your moans any longer - it’s not like there’s anyone around.
Jungkook knows just how to fuck you into submission. He understands that you’re the bratty type that enjoys provoking him until he snaps. You tell him at times no marks, but you aren’t angered when he leaves subtle ones behind; the type you’d have to lie to your boyfriend about and say you “bruise easily”.
“You’re always so wet when you’re with me.” Jungkook grunts, his eyes fixed on the way your pussy clenches around his cock, milky white ring coating it entirely. “He must not fuck you right.”
For a moment, the two of you stop when your phone sounds loudly. Jungkook doesn’t remove himself from inside of you nor do you.
“You gonna answer that?” Jungkook asks, his hands only tightening around your waist. “Your boyfriend is calling.”
Jungkook is smirking and you can only sense it. Your phone stares back at you in the cupholder, the light dancing off of your face.
Your hand reaches out for the volume and proceeds to turn up the music. Quickly, you grasp your phone and answer it. It’s difficult to do so, but you manage to turn yourself around completely, back against the seat. Your eyes connect with Jungkook's dark ones as you place the phone against your ear. “Hello?”
Jungkook cannot hear what your boyfriend is saying as the music is far too loud, but he finds that he doesn’t care - how could he if you didn’t? Instead, he finds just how willing you still are and he continues to snap his hips roughly inside of you. Let’s see how far you’ll allow him to go.
You listen to your boyfriend apologize profusely about missing your text, the music blasting in the background only hiding the fact that you’re allowing another man to fuck you.
You bite your lips to hide the moans as Jungkook pounds inside of you - even harder than before. Maybe he finds this entertaining.
“It’s fine…i’ll find a ride.” you say, your eyes fluttering close. 
You begin to drown out your boyfriend's voice just as Jungkook leans down. You want to slap the look off of his face, but you only lift yourself upwards to capture your lips into his own.
You aren’t sure if you ended the call or your boyfriend, but you do know that Jungkook’s lips are soft and inviting and his cock is as good as it always is.
“How are you going to explain to him when he doesn’t see you later?” Jungkook’s teeth clamp down onto your bottom lip. “I’ll be fucking you all night.”
You could only wrap your legs around Jungkook and bring him closer to you. His breath tickles your skin as he pants, the music causing your moans to drown out.
Jungkook shudders when he feels your nails tangle into his hair, gripping it tightly. There’s a tint of mischief in your lustful eyes that has him groaning.
“You’re so slutty, Y/N.” Jungkook snaps his hips, your back slamming against his seats roughly. “Such a whore that somehow managed to be someone's girlfriend.”
“Says the guy with a girlfriend.” you fire back, tugging at his hair harder. “Do you fuck her as good as you do me?”
Jungkook could only snicker, his head hanging low. His seats are ruined with your leaking juices, but he doesn’t care. 
“You’re such a bitch.”
Jungkook pushes himself away from you to press a thumb against your clit and he rubs it furiously. He needed you (and him) to cum now - just so he could fuck you again when at home. His eyes are as dark and lustful as yours, unable to disconnect them from your twitching clit. Your pussy is taking him so greatly, oozing milky juices.
“Kookie…”
Your voice is soft and pleading. Jungkook hears it through the music just fine. He scoffs at you. 
“Kookie?” Jungkook furrows a brow, only glancing at your fucked out expression. “Where’s the bitchy attitude, baby? You’re like a fucking sour patch kid.”
You want to tell Jungkook to fuck right off, but you can feel that familiar bubble in the pit of your stomach; one you haven’t felt it so long. Your eyes clenched shut and your hand goes to wrap around his wrist for support, the same one that he has between your legs to force you to cum.
“Gonna fuck you all night…” Jungkook hisses, thrust growing sloppy as he can feel his own high coming. The car rocks furiously, anyone passing by would surely know what the two of you were doing. “...gonna cum in your pussy and send you right back home to him. You’d like that, huh?”
You swallow back a moan at how dirty Jungkook’s words were. Maybe it was his words mixed with how it sounds coming from his lips - and him entirely. 
“...there’ll be no cum left for your girlfriend.” you murmur, always needing to have a comeback. “But that’s the way you prefer it, huh?”
Jungkook, as if to shut you up, slaps your clit harshly, but you only groan. Your eyes squeeze shut and you cannot help but let out a needy groan, body erupting with goosebumps.
“Ah, baby, you’re cumming…!” Jungkook laughs heartily. “...so am I.”
Jungkook only manages a few more thrusts before he meets your fucked out state, white ropes of cum releasing right inside of you. You lay limp against his seat, catching your breath as the music continues to play in the background. You cannot hear your phone ringing in the background, nor did you truly care about it at this moment.
Jungkook manages to remove himself from inside of you, his cum leaking out at such a rapid pace that it further continues to stain his seats. He’ll have to schedule an appointment for them to be detailed - but he wasn’t worrying about that now. He turns down the music and faces you once more.
“You okay?” Jungkook murmurs, tilting his head. “You must’ve not had a good fucking in so long.”
“Fuck off.” you manage to sit upright as you respond to Jungkook, who only chuckles in response. “I’m hungry.”
“Of course you are.” Jungkook retorts. “We can stop somewhere on the way. You’re gonna need all the energy you can get.”
Scoffing, you roll your eyes. You go to fix your skirt and panties before placing your manicured hand onto Jungkook’s shirt, tugging it. He lowers to face you and quickly, you place your lips on his. Just as quickly, does Jungkook deepen it.
On the outside looking in, Jungkook and you weren’t two people in long term relationships having an affair with one another. People would assume that you two were a couple.
Jeon Jungkook and you truly weren’t shit. Maybe that's why the two of you got along so well.
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jazforthesoul · 3 months
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every time someone reduces CAPTAIN !!! elizabeth "lizzie" lafayette down to "a sad lesbian" a fairy dies bc i shoot it with my gun. like you're telling me you were spoon-fed a character that has one of the most realistic and RAW representations of grief and perseverance in the series and all you got from that was "she's sad" ????
is she a constantly happy character? Fuck no! that's acknowledged!! but to take EVERYTHING that she is, which has positive and negative aspects THAT ARE BOTH SHOWN, to take the fact that she is THE DRIVING FORCE OF THE MAIN BACKGROUND PLOT, and reduce her down to NOTHING but her relationships?? ?what the hell!!!
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laurents-secret-diary · 10 months
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the quirked up white boy Of Vere
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