#it all just wants to blend together
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Contour lines are hard and tedious but shading is also hard and tedious
#i took a break for a week on the portrait i was doing and im back at it again today#tales from diana#the hard part about charcoal is that you have to find out what you're doing AND you have to fight w the charcoal about it#doing a bunch of details in various medium gray shades all right next to each other... hard#the person im drawing has a medium brown complexion and there isn't a lot of dramatic contrast w the lighting#right now everything is still looking flat because charcoal doesn't like to do what i want it to do#it all just wants to blend together#i was fighting w it for a week just trying to get his face right in every particular. the eyes the nose lips forehead everything#the outline of the nose keeps disappearing when im trying to show the difference between the tip of the nose and the cheek#iiiiii had to take a break
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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Vera's human form with a cloaking broach gifted to her from Big Mama I'd imagine (but like most things after the breakup she also stores it away, but doesn't get rid of it at the chance she might use it again). And also my first good drawing of big mom she's so pretty but evil ( ˘ ³˘)❤
#rottmnt#rottmnt big mama#rottmnt oc#vera the borzoi#my art#my oc#its a thin line between drawing in the rottmnt style and then whatever i do for my style#it just all sorta blends together#her and pico are the only ones of my children that have a human form#so far#i wanted to try and make her hair match her ears in a way
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has anybody else thought about how jk could easily manage sofia's parts of slow dance or is it just me?
#jikook#bts#everybody is working to insert jk in who where i just don't see it (other than the seven parallels)#and not talking much about what i see as WAY more obvious nods most especially in rebirth#like jm sings about wanting to be worthy of someone - maybe someone who just became a huge SOLO global popstar?#and mentions 'real love' - what was the name of that chapter in the bangtan book again?#and the feminine pronouns not present it's just the nebulous 'you' that in jimin songs often stands in for 'army'#(and one very specific 'fan' who has said he is ALSO army)#it's the 'i wanna be with you'#the answer for jk's 'i am still' with its unspoken additional 'still with you' layer#and then we get slow dance and we're back to the nebulous 'you' - on an island he-#oh wait what was that about a pair that traveled to an island? and filmed some stuff there that we'll see soon? hm#the reason this set me off though is the lines about 'cancelling my plans' to live to 'the tempo of our favorite song'#the falling deep into lines etc etc#because we know what happens when those two get together - they lose track of time everything else fades away#it's why they haven't done lives. why 'you and me' are 'up all night' why jm knows that as soon as jk is around#his self-discipline will crack and he'll fall into the pattern he tried to head off by separating from jk while making face#and we *know* jimin wrote on this song#frankly if he *hadn't* gotten a female feature everybody would be JUMPING on this song as a jikook anthem#the inclusion of sofia works perfectly - like hammering the pin back in a grenade#but i was reading those lines and thinking how high she went and going who else could sing this ...?#huh. who do we know of who can sing *anything*? and who has a range that can hit and blend with jimin's perfectly?#so. i dunno. y'all do your delulu the way that works for you and i will do my delulu my way lol#personally i think the eyes in the mv look like a screenshot from the love wins all mv but that's only me#i think the parallels with seven work more#and speaking of parallels (there are so many) i think this album was built to ensure jm is on equal footing with a certain someone#it's the commerciality of it - as though jm was like we will be together in this as well#when he seems not to be super interested in global domination but still 'special' enough to be on the same level with his love
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if yall haven't seen it already, i super recommend this ongoing youtube series by the movie rabbit hole that unravels a lot of those instances where a movie claims to "have zero CGI". it really uplifts the knowledge that practical effects and CGI really go hand in hand, except that the CGI side is often left in the dust when it comes to acknowledging the work that goes into making these bombastic movies.
this is the first video, where he discusses multiple movies but mainly top gun maverick, one of said movies that claims it has no CGI.
youtube
the second video just came out, and focuses on christopher nolan movies, another set of movies that people claim have very little CGI.
youtube
in the future, i believe he also plans to cover the injustice that stunt performers often face, which is related to this topic. in pursuit of being able to say a movie "has no CGI whatsoever!" or that an actor "did all their own stunts!", you end up leaving out the CG artists and stunt performers, very important parts of the industry that are often hardly acknowledged while everyone goes nuts over how real and authentic the movie is. movies are a team effort! let's not leave anyone behind! especially not the people whom the movies literally could not be made without!
#uhhhh me#video#i'm rly passionate abt this topic bc 1) i am in this industry and i know people who are cg artists#2) i feel like this is a topic that is so not talked about. people will only talk shit about cgi. they rarely praise it.#i've talked about this before but like. we all love that baby yoda from the mandalorian was a real puppet#but NOBODY on the internet likes to talk about the part where at LEAST 50% of baby yoda's scenes are CGI#AND YOU JUST COULDN'T TELL. BECAUSE IT WAS THAT GOOD#they did a perfect blend of practical and CGI. something that i often see you guys talk about in terms of how to properly use CGI in movies#and yet nobody really wants to talk about that!! everyone just wants to talk abt the practical part!#(that's not me being accusatory btw i'm just exasperated)#so i rly hope this series sheds a lot more light on how practical stuff and CGI meld together#for people who didn't previously know how it all worked#Youtube
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Scarlet Hollow characters I DO trust with my life and love: the demon stalking you, your cousin everyone hates who has likely committed murder, the abomination of changing flesh and bones that hangs out in the morgue, the possums in my drawer
Scarlet Hollow characters I DO NOT TRUST and never will: sybil. fucking. Local Town Grandma
(Also accurate small town representation)
#scarlet hollow#sybil#im gonna go off but#MANNNNN I do not trust sybil#i feel bad since in my area i generally do not trust most old people because i know everything is so generational and interconnected#and sybil reminds me of that distrust so much#in the whole tea scene i had to see her reactions to all the different responses to who the cat is in different runs and man.#she is setting you up HARD!!!!!#she smiles when you say tabitha and is most agreeable with it being tabitha no matter what reasons you give for her to NOT BE the cat#i really end up trusting everyone she doesn't want me to trust 10x harder. wayne and tabitha team if they just could vibe together.....#i feel the whole cat thing is also just to reassure you that you cant trust anyone except her rather then any Real thing#it does worry me though because i feel shes orchestrated everything. shes too aware and after ch4 i believe the tea controlling theory hard#and i wonder how far it goes? you have to think her tea blends are given to THE WHOLE TOWN#how much does she control? how much can she see? i feel she likely can see thoughts and bend them but if its wide spread#its just a matter of who and what has her attention.#i havent done a run with mystical and high kaneeka friendship yet but want to see if that helps any#scarlet hollow spoilers#scarlet hollow ch4#technically just in case
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yknow I've been thinking about what dream looks for in friends and lovers and I've noticed that it's not necessarily people that are mean to him, but people that are direct. dream himself deals in metaphor and manipulation, it's simply what he is, so just about everything within his realm that he's encountering consistently will be such that as well. considering both his own tendencies, the environment it breeds, and his whole Thing about guilt and choice, it makes sense he would choose people who are clear and honest with him. he wants someone who will tell him how it is, but not what to do with that—even when it's not really what he wants, dream knows it's what he can need. I think that's why figures like lucienne, matthew, death, and yes, mervyn can be important! on some level, dream knows he's convoluted and shifty by nature, and he's tried to combat that with concise words and mind-melting beauracracy, but it can't fix everything. he likes people to keep him in check and I think that is the most self-awareness he has ever been capable of. so... clap? no? idk. nod acknowledgingly.
#it is also that he is autistic#i dont make the rules. its just true.#also didnt mention for sentence flow but this is 100% why i think he REALLY hates desire#theyre the only manipulator in the universe better at manipulating than him. and uses these abilities to fuck him over.#they know how to blend direct observation with subtly implied direction to get him to do what they want whilst thinking hes not#dream knows this and he HATES it. because thats like. his every fear confirmed. in someone who is supposed to care for him.#and desire simply sees this as an extension of their function and good fun besides without understanding how deeply this messes dream up#with the guilt and choice thing: dream wants someone clear to blame and he would prefer it not be himself#so he wants to be given the option to be left with no choice so he can escape all personal responsibility as disguising it for himself as a#personal attack. the problem is that this is an inherently selfish thing to do and his perception of reality is so warped by ass kissing and#paranoia (great combo) that he ALSO cant tell whats a personal attack.#see: nada rejecting him and dream damning her to hell for 10000 years.#that also hit some other stuff he lacks the emotional wisdom to grasp#but like. why else would mervyn exist. genuienly#mervyn knows hes made by an uncaring god for menial and unnecessary work. everyone else knows hes full of shit and kinda right.#if dream didnt like what purpose he served on some level he would just remake or unmake mervyn all together. but he doesnt.#mervyn is like a chainsmoking barometer of public opinion#like boyboss good for him but thats it#anyway#dream of the endless#the sandman#raspberry rambles
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painted my nails
#it's been ages since I did my nails so I went all out#the lil heart confetti polish I always makes me look so cute#but I when I do take the time to paint my nails it's usually an impulse decision and I don't want to wait for the extra dry time#cause it's an extra coat#I can't decide of this is pastel goth or vampirecore goth#the hearts aren't actually pastel but they kinda look it cause they're this silver and red marble-y texture#so the colors blend together#also hearts just have a pastel vibe#like unless they're a Striking blood red#or bone white#or pure silver on the hilt of a dagger only to be used to slay your cursed beloved#y'know?#but also the colors red and silver and black together are strict vampire core vibes#idk im too tired for this
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what are the odds that the two most well known musical artists in the country would both release highly anticipated albums around april 2024 and i would listen to them both and go “good! but i thought i’d like them more” both times. and for some godforsaken reason post malone is there too
#two nickels etc etc etc#i like flo a lot more as an artist but unforch i like ‘ii most wanted’ a lot more than ‘florida’#tbh my listens to the albums suffered because. tbh. I think they were both too long#lacked some direction altho very very obviously CC was more structured#one album’s songs all blended together and the other album didn’t have enough cohesion#but! I like them both! they’re good! good songs on both!#I just expected them to be better tbh#but also music is NOT my arena artistically lmao I have no taste#I just like whatever shit I end up liking so. these are not value judgments just personal feelings#aster chat#also sorry im stupid apparently CC came out late March???? whatever still counts
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hazbin hotel gives me so much secondhand embarrassment
#sorry for anyone here that enjoys it but this could be an actual good series if it took itself more seriously#and was more deliberate in its choices#it's a mess#both visually and tone-wise#txt#like it isn't WORST thing i've seen there is potential here#but it's too all over the place#i think it could even work as a musical but it should have not went for pop and disney-esque songs for sure#in fact some of those sounded exactly like specific disney songs#it's absolute kitsch#it feels like a kid show that wants to be an adult one so badly#it touches upon things in such juvenile way#it's straight out of tumblr circa 2013#and would probably work back then and for people younger than 18#but right now in the current form it has#it just doesn't blend together correctly
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thinking abt how much of my life i’ve lost to depression and i truly want to throw up
#day to day doesn’t feel like much but. oh no it’s been like fully a decade#i wish therapy wasn’t so expensive#bc for a while i was on meds (that. didn’t do much tbh.) but that made me feel like i was Treating It so i was making progress#spoiler alert it did not. and now the fact that i’ve wasted so much of my life is making it worse#bc everyone else i know has like. lives and people in them#and i pretty much just have my parents. and my mom is also going through it#i have relied SO much on them and that also feels bad!!! feels like i’ve taken advantage of them!!!!!#i know people talk about how much it messes w your memory but i figured it was short term bc the days all blend together#i literally had a moment yesterday where i forgot i went to college at all#the whole thing feels like a missed opportunity bc i didn’t do anything i wanted to really#i was too afraid to go to clubs that looked interesting. i didn’t think practically abt what i was studying#i mostly didn’t have roommates but when i did i was Bad At It#i managed to go through the whole time only speaking to like. three people#so you can see how it’s kind of. completely forgettable#i have worked jobs bc it’s a paycheck. never really enjoyed them never really made friends (even tho now i’m kicking myself for not keeping#in touch with some people) but i have always kept a very strong work/life division even in school#because i was there to do a Specific Thing so that’s all that matters yknow#anyway. sometimes i DO wish i could go back to high school bc even tho it sucked. it was structured#and i had resources and more time to try things and like. a life outside of my computer. a little bit#yknow. i feel like people have more sympathy if you’re anxious abt everything and never gone outside#when you’re 16 as opposed to 25
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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...
#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open#i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed#AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA#i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE#I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table#yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante#to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1#despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat#(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of#it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc#[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic#since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them#its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT#later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag#and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D#it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in#any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other#also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move#because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc#well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c#(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O#cruddy rambles
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#small update post#long story very short: my mom passed away from cancer last week#she'd been sick for a few years but went into a sharp decline we weren't expecting#so everything is a mess with house & medical bills and family being here and all kinds of stuff#and i am also. a mess#idk if i'm going into an art hiatus or if when i manage to process everything i'll just want to Make Things#might open commissions like i'd been thinking about#definitely looking to set up a storefront for prints like i'd been meaning to for ages#idk when. probably when days stop blending together. hopefully soon#so yeah. hope you're all doing well. thanks for reading 🖤#🤖🦉
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Just watched the new doctor who episodes and I fricking LOVE Fifteen!
#yes he's only had like ten minutes of screen time but i love him okay#i can tell already#the second thing he did was hug his past self#he's already the doctor to me#sometimes it takes a bit to click but fifteen did right off the bat#and i love his accent it's so good#did you know he's scottish? rwandan-scottish more specifically but now i want to hear gatwa's real accent because surely this isn't it?#it doesn't sound scottish. i can hear the rwandan influence but it doesn't sound scottish.#or maybe I'm just a terrible judge of accents i swear they all blend together after a while#sometimes I'll hear a british accent and not notice it doesn't match mine#i think I've spent too long around other accents and sometimes they don't register anymore. they're just normal.
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being a girl who talks too fast means sometimes i will pause in the middle of a sentence cause i can hear that i'm talking fast and stumbling over my words and i need to recalibrate
#wanted to make a post cause i thought using the word recalibrate to describe this was funny#anyway the worst thing about being a fast talker is i'm not even a coherent fast talker all my words just blend together
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I know only a bad artists blames her tools but,,,, this would be so much easier if I had a brush for it rather than having to draw it all from scratch.
#im just imagining how much nicer my art would look if i had one of those kinda pencil brushes that you can use for line art#i have a very specific brush in my brain but i dont want to explain it#like something i can use straight when i draw that makes the lines softer#kinda blends the shading together without having to blend#bc i KNOW art that looks softer is so much nicer and all i have is very harsh shading etc#and idk i dont think it works as well as i think id does#nemos thoughts
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