So tired of everything being derailed by racists.
Want to talk about jobs? Blame immigrants.
Want to talk about the state of housing? Blame immigrants.
Want to talk about post-secondary education? Blame immigrants.
Want to talk about healthcare? Blame immigrants.
Want to talk about the state of the economy in general? Blame immigrants.
And it's never about the systems in place that lead to immigration or the how companies exploit young workers from elsewhere in the world (by taking advantage of their inexperience, their lack of support network, taking their money, and so on), it's all about how those dastardly non-whites are trying to screw honest Canadians out of everything by taking advantage of us, and they're personally going after you.
You can be talking about something and even be open to talking about the complex issue that is immigration but it immediately gets taken over by THEY TOOK OUR JERBS! assholes.
It's at the point where as soon as immigrants/immigration comes up, I peace out unless I know the person and can expect them to have a point beyond bigotry and fascism.
Because it's never about our systems, decade(s) of neglect, neoliberalism or conservatism, or anything like that, it's about how selfish, rich, and anti-white brown kids are and things would be perfectly fine if not for them.
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Just a brief summary so far:
December 2023 - diagnosed with Autism which came completely out of left field considering it has never been touched on as a possibility before the 2020s
Consistently since August 2023 - been trying to find somewhere to live that suits my needs and having no luck; couldn't even get a place through the council when I was almost homeless because they said I needed to live on the streets for 10-12 months before they could help me
March 2024 - the gender clinic decided I'm mentally ready to continue down the path of gender affirming care, but I need to cut my BMI in half in order to be physically ready
April 2024 - put my notice in at work and intended to quit my job and live off savings for 2 months while I tried to find a new job; plan did not go ahead as work informed me that the performance plan they had me on had been cancelled and that I didn't need to worry about it anymore, so I continued working there
April 2024 - after falling into a deep state of depression and letting my hair get into such a mess by not brushing it for over a month, got my hair cut and managed to salvage most of it
April 2024 - was assessed for and rejected for PIP (disability payments), and the assessor went behind my back and leaked medical information back to my doctor which I told them not to, and they promised they wouldn't
Since January 2024 - tried to make new friends online which resulted in one new friend; this one friend ended up homeless themselves and showed me way too many red flags to ignore, yelling at people I was trying to make friends with and scaring them away, and getting angry in the same way previous friends have got angry at me, so I no longer speak to them
Ongoing - I feel a distance forming between me and the family members I speak to, I feel that since being diagnosed with Autism, it gives me some kind of relief from social pressure, like before I wasn't any good at talking to people and it panicked me because I was expected to be good and didn't have a reason to not be good so I'd force myself to talk, I hate to say it but it almost gives me justification now for not being good socially, I can just relax and not feel the pressure to keep a conversation going but I also feel it having a detrimental effect on my relationships
Today - had a last miracle of viewing a flat, since the current landlord is increasing the rent which I feel is unfair considering we had a hole in the floorboards for several weeks, were sharing 1 toilet between 5 people for a few weeks and haven't had a working oven for the last month; I can't continue living in a house share, I'm triggered too easily by noise and lack of cleanliness, I need to be alone, I need clean and quiet and darkness
Present - I have given up all hope of having top surgery in my lifetime, of having my own place, and of excelling at or being happy in my job
*edited as usual as I can't share my honest Thoughts. So however bad you think this is, imagine it worse.
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