#it devolves into petty bickering so quickly

[malkaviansaints]

opening my dash and immediately adding inzoi to my muted terms list

[riddle-on-the-milk-carton]

My ideal x men film adaptation would be kinda low budget and campy looking, I want as many practical effects as possible, there’s a running gag where Wolverine keeps sleeping with people left and right and his clothes always rip sexily, there’s so much gay shit because come on y’all it’s x men, morph looks a wet little snail the way god intended, we get origin episodes focusing on all the individual characters, Charles and Erik never kiss or have sex but what they have so much homoerotic tension it can rival Hannigram

I think what I don’t like about newer avengers films too is that they lack heart and they contain to much action and bland, marketing friendly quips that the characters are flanderized and watered down so hard they make hospital apple juice taste like cheap beer

I’d want to do the opposite of that where we’ll get a cop-out in the first episode, where it’s set up like a regular marvel spin off but then someone drops and f-bomb and gets into a petty argument over who is sleeping with who and it quickly devolves into bickering and tomfoolery, I don’t want it to be edgy or AT ALL like the boys, like the swearing isn’t constant nor is the sexual jokes or violence (that’s what dp is for)

But it is a little more out of pocket and a lot more character focused and campy, I think it should be one with humor and lighter slower moments so you take your guard down while just watching their weird little found family bond

but then serious moments will hit like a character reliving their past or fear of who they are, or the “should mutants REALLY have rights thing” and like i want to go further into things like systematic oppresion and the whole “mutant as an allegory for being queer”

because being in the queer community in my experience at least is a lot like that, it’s full of drama and silly parts, but it’s also scary,

and I’d want some parts goin more into that a a lot deeper than just the regular “magneto was right/wrong” or “mutant —— becomes a villain bc they were oppressed for thei mutant abilities” I’d wanna go into those too just not have them be the main focus

I don’t want Deadpool to take up a lot of space in it but I think he’s be there for gags and background shenanigans, and then he could be a deaux ex machina at some point just standing on a roof handing them something they need before jumping off a 20 foot ledge, he’s always doing weird shit off in the background

[ali-annals]

All's Fair in Love & Prank Wars

Pairing: Jason Todd x Marinette Dupain-Cheng, implied Timdrien

Rating: G | Ao3 | WC: 2k | CW: - | A/N: M?GI! Secret Writer's Bracket 2023, Round 1

"Damn right I'm pretty." "I said petty."

Jason angrily huffed and flounced out of the small living room, disgusted by the scene before his eyes. His dramatic exit was barely noticed by the main culprit, but their partner-in-crime did and looked at them, confused.

“Why is Jason so moody? He seemed happy to see me earlier.” Marinette looked up from where she was sketching cartoons of the Waynes, stretched out under Tim’s arm as he made snarky comments about it.

Tim rolled his eyes, tired of the pair’s blindness. “I wonder why.”

Marinette frowned. “Because you showed up and he’s mad at you for getting distracted on patrol last night?”

“That! Was partially your fault! Admit it!”

“Patrol was slow!” Mari defended herself. “I didn’t think he’d hate the idea of roof tag that much.”

“Probably just because you were constantly jumping me,” Tim mumbled. 

“Well, how else was I gonna get my coffee back?”

Their bickering quickly devolved into play-wrestling and Jason huffed in annoyance, glancing in as he walked by with his steaming tea and book.

~~~~~

Jason was mad that Tim was with Marinette, he was mad that he was mad about it, and he was mad that the two were so close he couldn’t dare say anything about it.

Yet another thing the Pretender had that he didn’t.

And he couldn’t even begrudge it, because she was just so bright, anyone would be lucky to have her companionship. But he sure wished that she’d toss a couple rays his way sometimes.

It bothered him that she was so nervous around him, so he tried to stay out of her way, but she was like the sun and he her earth, constantly drawn to her and staying close to her. Any further away and he’d freeze. As it was, he burned when he was around her, but the burning was from anger. Tim was often by her side, meaning if he wanted to bask in her warmth for a while, he had to put up with her and the Pretender’s…closeness.

The trouble was that he was delusional enough to wonder if he did have a sliver of a chance. The way Mari and Tim acted was sometimes more sibling-like than boyfriend/girlfriend. 

Then again, whenever he was around her and she noticed (which was often, she had good situational awareness), she turned into a nervous, awkward, endearing mess, stuttering and twice as clumsy, her eyes always flitting from him to exits to the people around them. He wondered if he could ever make her see him in a way that made her less tense around him.

Tired of not knowing if Tim and Mari were dating or simply concerningly close friends, Jason made up his mind to find out once and for all.

The trouble with this plan was that in this family, you couldn’t simply ask a question and find out the answer, unless it was an emergency or you were Cass.

This would require finesse…

Prank war it was!

He was 98% sure Tim was the one who’d spilled coffee in the library, anyways. The little brat was practically asking for it.

~~~~~

Marinette screeched and yanked the towel tighter around her. “Knock!”

“Sorry!” Tim backed out of his bathroom very quickly, his hands held up in innocence. “I just heard your screech and then a thump, I was worried.”

“Thank you, but please, boundaries !”

She shook her stringy hair in annoyance. Jason had messed with Tim’s shower in the Nest and it had been incredibly cold, which she hadn’t expected. This meant war.

Once she had showered, in the spare shower this time, which was thankfully untouched, she returned to Tim’s room and demanded an emergency War Council session.

He agreed, feeling a teeny bit guilty that Mari had taken the prank intended for him and a lot amused by her appearance as a half-drowned mouse , and pulled up his list of possible pranks to play that he’d been brainstorming.

Mari wrapped a towel around her hair and rolled over to the desk on a roller stool. 

“That’s a long list; how long have you been creating this list?”

“Since the very First Official Prank War,” his answering grin was a little maniacal.

~~~~~

Jason perched in the ceiling of the Nest, contorted to avoid Tim’s sensors and cameras. This position was starting to be a bit uncomfortable, especially since it had taken both of them longer than he expected to shower after their spar and workout. The Pretender still hadn’t showered, actually. 

Gross.

Unfortunately, Mari had been the victim of his tinkering with the taps, and he still hadn’t gotten conclusive evidence to her and Tim’s relationship either way.

He used his helmet’s capabilities to zoom in on the pair.

Marinette was pointing out prank ideas and Tim was listing what they were in retaliation to.

Jason raised the volume of his bug in Marinette’s bracelet. It was Bat-tech, for her to press if she was in trouble as a civilian, but he had hacked into it and activated it for this operation.

Tim finished saying something and Marinette slapped his arm.

Ugh, a flirty gesture, or friendly violence?

“You’re so petty!” she accused Tim, and Jason snorted. Petty was a weak adjective for him.

“Darn right I’m pretty,” Tim attempted a flirty hair flip with his loose bangs.

"I said petty. You sure think highly of yourself, huh."

"I've been told I'm very pretty, it's the truth," he shrugged.

"Yeah, by Adrien , he's biased. You know what's better than pretty?” she grinned.

Tim looked at her incredulously.

“...Okay, fine, you're pretty!” She gave into Tim's ridiculous puppy-eyes.”But it's delicate pretty, you know my type is rugged pretty-"

"- like Jason,  yes, I know. Ugh, when will you stop rhapsodizing over Jason, it's so gross,” Tim shivered dramatically.

What.

"You're so rude! You know, if I get with Jason, then I'll be out of your hair more…"

"Ooh! Good point, I should change my objective in this prank war to getting you two idiots together instead of just getting revenge on Jason…" Tim pulled up a new doc and began outlining plans that Jason heard nothing of, too stunned by what he’d just learned.

Marinette was nervous around him, not because he was so big, intimidating-looking, violent, or any of the other things he’d thought, but because she had a crush on him?

…Well, then, things just got a whole lot more interesting.

He focused on Tim’s plans again.

~~~~~

Jason “just happened” to be loitering in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil for his tea when Tim and Mari stormed in, arguing about coffee.

It seemed like normal, but Jason had learned of Tim’s plan and bribed him with pictures of Adrien he’d bought off Chloe last time she was in Gotham.

Tim was going to make Marinette think that they were pranking Jason by meddling with his tea. 

While Marinette was in the pantry fishing out the ingredients for his not-tea, Tim would blackmail him into baking for them, then when Jason was also in the pantry, Tim would lock them in.

(Of course, there was a way to unlock the pantry from the inside, but Marinette didn’t know that.

He hoped.

There was no way for him or Tim to casually ask her if she knew of the safeguard without giving its existence away.)

Everything went as planned and Jason was shoved further into the pantry, the door clicking shut and the decisive snick of the handle locking echoing in the neatly organized chamber.

Jason flipped the lightswitch and looked at Marinette, who was holding a variety of ingredients in her hands, attempting to look innocent.

“Oh, you’re in here too? What are you making?”

“Um…was just getting some things Tim asked for; he wanted to make something, I think?”

Clever, Sunshine, deflecting and twisting the words to not give anything away. Well, that won’t work here. I learned from the best.

“Oh, okay. I guess we’re stuck here till Timderella lets us out so I can make his beignets.”

Marinette muttered something under her breath, likely something uncomplimentary about her traitorous ex-prank-partner as she realized she’d been played. Good, she didn’t know about the safeguard.

“We haven’t hung out much one-on-one,” he noted casually, sitting cross-legged on the floor and opening a bag of M&M’s.

“I thought that was on purpose? You seemed to avoid me.” She cautiously joined him on the floor.

He smiled behind his handful of M&M’s. “You seemed nervous around me.”

He could see the realization cross her face.

“But recently I learned that my assumption was wrong,” he started. “I didn’t think this amazing girl I know would like someone like me, but apparently, she does, so I thought I should ask her out.

“Marinette, will you go on a date with me?”

She blinked, then nodded vigorously. “Yes! I’d love that!”

He grinned back at her. “Then giving my best collection of blackmail photos to Tim to lock us in here was the best investment I made.” He pulled out his phone to text Tim.

Marinette’s jaw dropped. “That little traitor,” she hissed.

Tim came back a moment later and unlocked the pantry, a self-satisfied smile on his face. “Congratulations, you two, I was waiting forever for you to realize what dunderheads you were being.”

The smile was quickly wiped off his face as Mari launched herself at him, chasing him around the kitchen.

“Call off your girlfriend!”

“She don’t bite,” shrugged Jason, cheering Marinette on.

“YES SHE DO!” screeched Tim, vaulting over the island.

“Wait, let me tell you something, let me tell you something,” Tim begged, poised to sprint to the safety of the hallway, his hands held up innocently, pleadingly.

Marinette paused, suspicious.

“Jason was the one who came up with the idea to lock you two in there!”

“He confessed,” said Mari, taking a step forward.

“He forced me to!”

“It was a bribe. That’s on your weak moral compass for falling for such material things,” she sniffed disdainfully.

“It was pictures of little Adrien! How could I refuse?!”

Marinette glanced back at Jason. “You have pics of little Adrien?”

He shrugged. “I bought ‘em off Chloe. All’s fair in love and war.”

Afterword:

[Once Marinette has chased Tim enough that her vengeful streak is satisfied] Tim, annoyed at Jason and Marinette being all cute and in love (oh how the tables have turned): Hey, Mari, did you know there was a way to get out of the pantry that Jason didn't want you to know about so you couldn't run away from him? Jason, silently promising Tim that he'll hide all his coffee if this turns out badly for him: Marinette, too happy to care about anything now: Yeah, I knew there was a way to get out. Alfred showed me the first time I baked here, just in case I got locked in. I decided it wouldn't be a bad thing to be locked in a small space with my crush, and Jay didn't look like he wanted to leave any time soon, which was great! Jason and Tim: ... Jason: Have I ever told you how much I love your devious mind, Sunshine?

[elicoor13]

Padparadscha, Rutile, Yellow Diamond, 1990s Band AU micro fic:

Padparadscha started a bar band with their classmate Yellow and Pad's partner in the late 90s "so we can party with bad bitches", in the words of Pads. Back then only Yellow could play an instrument, so Pads and Rutile needed to learn bass and turntables respectively. Yellow figured doing a nü-metal band would allow Padparadscha to just "make mouth sounds, jump around and play 4 notes over and over again like a spazz". Rutile took to their job really quickly, and soon "Pads'N'The Rad Bitches" were a fixture of many smaller bars and nightclubs.

Their set list was really small starting off, they had Jump on My Nutz, Deep Scratch 9, When the Night Comes, and a cover of Kid Rock's Bawitdaba. Later on Yellow and Rutile wrote a few other songs like Death Hangover, Knives to Kidneys, and Isolation Nation to fill out the set-list. Pads responded with writing songs like 24/7 Rager, Smashin', and Grab My Nutz.

Early performances also included Padparadscha "freestyling" in the middle of songs, mostly signalled by Pads shouting "FREESTYLE!" and then Pads promptly stage-diving so Yellow or Rutile would have to "battle-rap". This would often devolve into petty bickering, but after a while that became a core part of their live shows. Pads would also smash one thing and maybe set some article of their clothing on fire. They shocked a lot of early audiences by being very proud of their top surgery scars, but soon they found a niché within their small scene.

[ryanmeft]

The Favourite Movie Review

If you happen to suffer from Anglophilia, The Favourite may very well cure you of it. America’s obsession with everything British owes a lot to the fact that movies and TV have painted our overseas cousins as being upstanding, intelligent, and just a little above it all. If Brexit hasn’t killed off that impression for you, take a look at this movie: the court is petty, the most common language is insults, the royal helpers fight like bloodthirsty schoolgirls, and the Queen is mad. How delicious.

It’s the early 18th century, and there are a few issues surrounding the rule of Queen Anne (Olivia Colman); namely, that she’s battier than a thousand-year-old attic. Among her many lovable antics: telling off the servants for things she told them to do, being pushed around in a completely unnecessary wheelchair which she likes being rolled very fast in, falling on the floor and screaming, demanding royal courtesy be paid to an army of rabbits, deliberately making herself sick on sweets, and generally being so out to lunch she frequently forgets there’s a war on with France. In fairness to her, this is England, so remembering when there is and is not a war with France is a full-time job. My only serious regret about all of this is that, while having wheelchair races with herself, she at no point shouts “Vroom vroom”.

These days, we might have sympathy for such an unfortunate soul, but Queens then and now are not so much persons as objects of political desire. The Tory party, here identified only as the opposition, wants to end War With France Number 76b quickly, because the taxes needed for it are taking money out of the pockets of wealthy landowners and, as Tory leader Robert Harley (Nicholas Hoult) sneeringly informs us, putting it in the hands of those darned merchants; one is reminded of the airline shareholders who griped that the employees were getting paid before they did. Anne’s primary confidant is Sarah Churchill (Rachel Weisz, and yes, she’s his ancestor), the Duchess of Marlborough. She wants the war, in which her husband (Mark Gatiss) is a leader, to be funded and fully supported. Just as you think she is the one of the two with the more honorable intentions, the movie corrects you: her support for her husband has more to do with the benefits of being married to a war hero than with any real affection. She is, in fact, shtupping the queen, something left in absolutely no doubt. This is a movie far more frank about sexuality and especially lesbianism than even most indie films dare to be. In that regard, it is incredibly forward thinking; at one point Anne is quite explicit about tongues and her preferred use for them. In other regards the movie’s attitude toward sex is less progressive but no less frank, as it is frequently used to attain power.

This fine arrangement is threatened by the arrival of Sarah’s cousin Abigail (Emma Stone) who has fallen on hard times after her father, from what I could gather, burned down both their house and himself. She initially becomes trusted by the Queen entirely by accident, in fact through the only unadulterated show of good Samaritanism in the entire movie. She will soon learn that in this place, no good deed goes unpunished. She evolves, if you can call it that, until she fits right in with the nearly murderous intrigues of royal life. Sarah pushes: she threatens her life, has her beaten, and attempts to humiliate, ruin and tear her down. Eventually, Abigail will become the better fighter, even engineering a scenario that leaves Sarah rotting in a brothel while she moves to solidify her own position. Nor are Sarah and the Queen the only ones to be used or abused by her. The film goes as far as to subtly suggest she, unlike Sarah, is not even that into sex, as she pursues marriage to a randy nobleman (Joe Alwyn), then loses interest once she has him, and the royal benefits the marriage provides.

What to make of the ensuing battle of wills between the deteriorating Queen, her bickering fixers, and the Parliament? I’ll tell you what not to make of it: the idea that this movie has a feminist viewpoint. It seems that way initially, with both nominal and real power in the hands of a woman. One of the founding, most cherished myths of the movement, though, is that the world would be an inherently better place if women grasped the shorthairs of power. It’s impossible to say if that would be true. What I can say is that the screenplay, written twenty years ago by historian Deborah Davis and “freshened up” more recently by Tony McNamara, practically dies laughing at the idea. It will be tempting for those who want to see Sarah and Abigail in a certain light to say they are only responding to the viciousness of the world they live in, but they voluntarily go far, far beyond any schemes cooked up by the pompous, white-wigged men of the government. The simple truth an attentive viewer might notice early on is that it really, truly would have been possible for the two women to come to some agreement. The other simple truth is that neither wanted to; both wanted to win at the expense of the other. It is not that the men are spared---they are variously pompous, corrupt, callous, or incompetent. It is that power in film is usually shown as mostly corrupting or being corrupted by men, and here women are equally as eager to get in on the game. Sarah’s complicity in this is the most tragic, as it’s clear she really does care about the Queen; yes, at no point does she actually stop trying to manipulate her. No one is spared: even the scullery maids are needlessly cruel.

The main triangle that comprises the heart of the drama is infused with three of the most gripping performances you’ll see at the movies. The irony of Rachel Weisz having her big breakthrough as the nerdy, shy girlfriend of then-more famous Brendan Fraser in The Mummy is strong; she’s since gone on to be the more dominant actor, and it isn’t close. She has one of those mannerisms that can control a room; later, when her more subtle ways of squeezing the Queen have begun to falter in the face of Abigail’s tactics, she gets more forceful, and such is Weisz’s presence that we are shocked when it doesn’t work. Stone’s big hit role in Zombieland was more hard-bitten, but she too would need meatier roles to display what she can really do, and here gets her best to date. She starts out truly just wanting a second chance after going through a hellish youth and being dumped into another bad situation. Eventually, those who would push her to be horrible learn a lesson, as she can be far more vicious than they ever intended.

Somehow, Colman’s Anne is constantly on the verge of sheer, out-in-the-yard-barking-at-the-moon lunacy, yet never devolves to the level of parody, and maintaining her insanity while also not becoming a Jack Sparrow-esque joke must have been among the more demanding things asked of an actor. Most of the water cooler talk centers around the more widely recognized Stone and Weisz, but Colman needs to be both stark raving mad and entirely sympathetic or the movie falls apart; we need to believe this is a person two intelligent, driven, vivacious women would be willing to get in the mud for, even as they manipulate her to their own ends. This is one of the few cases where we can safely impose modern ethics on the past. Anne is mentally ill, and should have been cared for, but there was no chance of that ever happening.

The world her court inhabits has been recreated by director Yorgos Lanthimos, working for the first time since before his critically acclaimed Dogtooth with someone else’s script, as a place that lacks the sumptuousness with which English finery, English dress, English buildings and English everything else are usually treated in American cinema. That’s probably because Lanthimos is Greek, and whereas Britain to us is the ideal parent---upright and mature yet far enough way that we don’t need to call that often---to him it may be just another country in Europe. The halls of St. James’s Palace (My best guess; the film never says) are not particularly ornate or beautiful, or at least they are not portrayed that way. Robbie Ryan chooses to shoot many scenes in near darkness, with candlelight, and the result is that much of the palace appears gloomy, close and not especially grand or even inviting; there is one moment in which Sarah speaks through a door whose other side is hidden by a tapestry when we could well believe the house as a setting for a ghost story. Nor are the actresses spared the visual signs of moral decay. Though the costume department drapes them in every bit of finery you expect from pompous royals, both competing women are literally drug through the mud, and Anne shows little care for her personal hygiene. We are reminded that this was a dirty world in more ways than one, and whatever glamorous ideas we might have of the past are shot out from under us. Like the highly underrated Marie Antoinette, almost the entire movie takes place within the cloistered walls of the royal residence; I doubt most of those involved in the drama ever spare a look for an actual citizen of the crown.

Lanthimos’s last film, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, inspired strong feelings in me. Specifically, it inspired the desire to beat it with a stick. I am morally opposed to films that seek to prove how much smarter they are than the audience. Similar to his more popularly received film The Lobster, The Favourite is quite intelligent in the way it approaches its themes: power, political games, and the puncturing of the myths we build for ourselves surrounding both royalty and the romance of the past. It ascends to greatness because it never once alienates the audience in order to say these things. Just leave your fantasies of ladies and gentlemen in flower at home; those guys aren’t in this movie.

Verdict: Must-See

Note: I don’t use stars, but here are my possible verdicts.

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid like the Plague

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 All images are property of the people what own the movie.

[g3rmb0y]

Day 26/? Jobs

Haven’t done one of these in a bit. Been really busy with work and whatnot. Also been sick, but that’s not really much of an excuse. Anyway, I wanna kind of break down what I did earlier with the whole classes and how they have families and stuff and this time, talk about how they make money and get by in life.

Barbarian: Barbarians tend to shun day to day jobs, preferring to put food on the table by hunting it themselves. Living off the grid, their only real connection with civilization occurs whenever a traveling merchant comes by, often with various alchemical substances, weapons, or tools that might be needed, and the general mode of payment is barter- 10 wolf pelts for a new spear, etc. Occasionally barbarians do find work as contractors for nobles and other powerful forces, operating as mercenaries and particularly brutal assassins- nothing sends a message like sending a berzerker in to take someone out- the collateral damage is often extensive, as is the body count, a potent warning not to piss the employer of said barbarian off. They can also find coin in sharing tales with traveling bards, who have found a sizable market in barbarian novels, which are often converted to theatrical productions. Some theater troupes have actually started hiring barbarians themselves to star in these roles, which quickly devolve into semi scripted fights, a phenomenon that has achieved popularity as of late with a younger audience.

Bard: Bards generally find work as performers, poets, playwrights, actors, and any number of other artistic endeavors. While musicians can often do fine, finding a few taverns where they’re always welcome to play a set, the stereotype of the starving artist isn’t always far from the truth, and it isn’t uncommon for less successful bards to have a day job. Traveling bards tend to have it even worse, depending on good performances and their ability to read a crowd to eat, and playwrights and poets tend to be the type to be crashing at a friend’s constantly.

Cleric: Clerics are generally funded by the church, their lodgings, food, and spending money issued through their order. That being said, many traveling clerics depend entirely on the kindness of others, leading them to find work as traveling spellcasters, blessing crops, healing wounds, and tending to the ill in exchange for a few gold. Clerics willing to frequent more remote locations tend to be received very well, whereas clerics traveling to a town with some well established temples and priests may find themselves unable to get a foothold at all- priests who have established a good temple in a community tend to be very protective of their congregation, and any new priests, especially if they are of a different order, pose a threat to that, and it isn’t uncommon to see extremely loud fights between old bearded priests, even of the same order, over some mundane detail, all as an excuse to fight and establish dominance. Furthermore, the petty drama between priests of rivaling orders can often result in all types of complications, such as one priest calling an inquisition on the other, or a priest making a deal with warlocks to summon demons so he can be seen driving them off, etc. Still, when faced with an actual danger, priests of similar faiths will shed their petty disputes without hesitation and band together to protect their community, only to be bickering and making declarations of heresy again the very next day.

Druid: Druids don’t find much in the way of civilization, at least not traditional ones. Instead, they act as ambassadors for the trees and the forests, occasionally speaking as a voice for nature. Their presence is generally treated with extreme caution, as to insult a druid is to insult the very power of nature, but generally druids prefer to pass on their message, and return to the forest. As for their role in the forest, given their connection with the trees, they are simply an extension, nothing more, nothing less.

Fighter: Fighters find no shortage of work. Between jobs as bodyguards, soldiers, hired muscle, trainers, mercenaries, and prize fighters, a good fighter can find work anywhere. That being said, the inherent dangers mean that a good fighter needs to be very discerning in what jobs they take on- A fighter who joins a mercenary army that’s allied themselves with a mad noble might last much shorter than one who finds work as a guard in a fairly safe part of town. As for the nature of the work and the pay, that varies greatly. Bodyguards, trainers, and prize fighters tend to all make plenty of money, but all are more taxing than working as hired muscle or a guard, which often nets less. Also, many fighters will take a break from fighter work to do something much safer- it’s common to find former fighters working as smiths, arms dealers, etc. as often the fighting lifestyle either becomes too dangerous as they age, or too horrific.

Monk: Monks tend to subsist on alms, although their seemingly endless energy lends them to be wonderful assets to any town they wander into, and they’ll often take a laborers wage to get them some food and a warm place to sleep. Still, for the most part they stay in their temples and dojos, living an entirely self sufficient life. That being said, monks who stray from the vows of poverty and simple life can often find themselves awash in funds, as their vast array of abilities makes them suitable for just about any line of work.

Paladin: Paladins tend to be completely funded by their order, and look to the nearest temple or allied temple for aid, housing, and supplies. That being said, paladins that settle down tend to find some type of work, and while they often will refuse wage, they find that their housing, food, etc, are paid for, based on the quality and nature of their work. Furthermore, if they act as protectors for the community, they find themselves fully subsidized, so they can focus on keeping their community safe. Paladins on a specific mission will also often have at least one assistant in their employ, usually a trainee or squire who can help bring in funds by taking on odd jobs where needed, if they are low on funds, but no self respecting temple allows their paladins to encounter anything like that unless they’ve taken a vow of poverty- the status of a paladin in the world is indicative of the status of the religion, and a shoddy paladin is seen as the ultimate insult.

Ranger: Rangers tend to have no need or want to get involved with society at large, and tend to provide entirely for themselves. A ranger who at any point shows themselves to be dependent on civilization or nearby towns is seen as not being capable of fully utilizing the many gifts of their woods, and it’s seen as a personal favor, so with the exception of the most difficult winters, Rangers stay away from society, unless a mission brings them close. Most rangers do have a cache of gold for such an occasion, but it is only utilized out of necessity.

Rogue: Rogues often do not make a full time job out of their work, or if they do, they have some cover business- many junk stores that act as a cover for high risk pawn shops or fence meeting places are operated by rogues who will often sell their own procured items. That being said, many rogues prefer to live a very easy life, and turn to thievery only to satisfy their lavish desires. There’s also many rogues who find work in military service or for nobles as spies and assassins, although the path towards that tends to be much more demanding, and often more risky- a Thief may lose a finger or be thrown into jail, but a caught spy or assassin will be subjected to torture and ultimately, execution.

Sorcerer: Sorcerers and wizards often do the same type of work, but one has a piece of paper certifying that they’ve paid a lot of money and studied very hard to do it, meaning sorcerers tend to pick up the lesser paying jobs- but that suits them. Sorcerers tend to operate similar to handymen, being hired to solve various issues that need an arcane caster, and often setting up shop in the poor districts, where they find no shortage of customers. They’re also prone to wanderlust, and are generally welcomed where ever they go, as casters are in relatively constant need, and the sorcerer tendency to charge less makes them quite appreciated, so long as nothing goes wrong.

Warlock: Warlocks generally don’t have jobs, as their job is serving their patron. That being said, sometimes their patron declares they need to make money, so they’ll find work where they can get it, but a warlock’s poverty is seen as a weakness on the part of the patron, unless they are punishing their servant, so instead Warlocks tend to just come across money, either through uncanny coincidence, or slitting purses in dark alleyways.

Wizard: Whereas sorcerers tend to be the unlicensed handymen, Wizards are the specialized contractors. Due to the nature of wizarding schools, wizards tend to be entirely specialized, and will often refuse to do a job if they know there’s another wizard who has better certification for it (unless they don’t like them.) But for the most part, wizards are either making money by doing specialized jobs, which they are enabled to do by their various degrees, or spending money at the academy to get more certificates and degrees, in a brutal, vicious cycle that keeps most wizards in the comfortable upper middle class.

[lemonwaterwithice]

can we keep up with the ruse?

effie myers met fiance when she was 16; he was a new student and it was love at first sight... at least for her. fiance did not reciprocate - he was a broody, academic type and found prom queen cheerleader effie to be vapid and obnoxious. she only made this worse by following him around like a puppy for six months, hoping to get his attention with some cher horowitz-esque tactics. then, as fate would have it, they were forced together for a semester-long group project and slowly, fiance started to see her in a different light. ((he was going through something personal (parents’ divorce? death in the family? that’s entirely up to u) and she helped him through it.)) it took a bit longer, but by 17, they were officially together. much to the surprise of literally everyone that’s ever met effie, they’re still together to this day. fiance is the one constant in her life, the only stability she’s ever had. they’re opposites in a lot of ways, but they balance each other out. they’ve been through a lot with each other, they know each other better than anyone else, and they’re really just good for each other?? their relationship is comfortable and safe and it just sorta made sense that things should stay like this forever, so on christmas day, fiance proposed. and effie said yes. and they love each other more than ever and they should start planning the wedding but

they keep putting it off. 

because effie is kind of a commitment-phobe (despite what a ten year relationship might have you believe). and fiance has his own reasons for dragging his feet. neither one of them want to admit that this might not be what they want - instead, every conversation about wedding planning devolves pretty quickly into petty bickering over who has tacky taste in flowers and why the bridesmaids can’t wear gray for a summer wedding. tensions are running high, but they’ve never really fought before and they don’t know how to handle it.

after one especially bad fight, effie decides to go out. she winds up at the same bar where she always seems to end the night and kinda overdoes it (more so than usual) and wakes up alone in an unfamiliar bed, though she guesses (correctly) that it probably belongs to the bartender that she’s been innocently flirting with for some odd years now. she finds bartender sleeping on the couch and reassures her that nothing happened before paying for her uber home. after such a close call, any sane person would keep their distance but

they start having an affair.

the thing is, it turns out effie and bartender have gotten to know each other pretty well through all of her drunken shenanigans over the years and the chemistry is strong. they don’t get along as well as her and the person she’s supposed to marry, but there’s something there that her relationship doesn’t have. she’s convinced herself that it’s just the excitement of being with someone new, just something that she has to get out of her system, and she’s said as much to bartender. he’s not so convinced, but right now, he’s fine just being along for the ride.

eventually, this is probably going to blow up in effie’s face - as it should - but i would really love to discuss the dynamics more with whoever’s involved!! fiance should be around ~26, give or take a couple years and bartender can be 25+, but besides the basics, everything about these two characters is completely up for interpretation and i would love to hear your ideas! if you’re interested, feel free to add me on discord (babie yoda#0019). thanks for reading xoxox