#it does solve the problem of like

[blorboresidue]

solid chance this fic just ends with condalbert deciding to break up and go back to being fuckbuddies and then having fucknasty breakup sex. the end.

[camembri]

you wanted zoro to be on whole cake island to fulfil your weird desire to see zoro punish sanji. I wanted zoro on whole cake island because I think he's stupid enough to right place wrong time the plan and accidentally marry Sanji in full view of the whole wedding party in what becomes the most elaborately constructed comedy of errors ever written. we are NOT the same.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

In the world of heavy metals, love is denser than hate!

[gabelew]

gaddison my beloved...

[caterpillarinacave]

A logistically bad idea overall? Probably, yes. A very quick solution for many scenarios? Also, probably, yes.

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

"Ford is intellectually smart and Stan is emotionally smart" is a statement that makes me want to nose dive into academic studies in order to single-handedly redefine the categories of intelligence because that *cant* be right.

[frobby]

i think a core component of the okumura twins relationship is that if you told them before the series what happens in the future, they would worry about each other before themselves

[mamawasatesttube]

it's like, i really do enjoy most of the bats as characters and i really do like a lot of their comics. but also i am sooooo tired of them being hailed as better than literally everyone else. both in fanon but also in comics (modern ones are esp egregious imo, like WHAT was that shit about batman and the joker being the most dangerous men on the planet. hi. have you heard of lanterns? speedsters? supers? actually if i keep listing groups who could kick batman's ass we'd be here all day). they're like kudzu. that shit needs to stay in its native environment (funky little neo-noir detective stories) and stop being an invasive species (putting down everyone else to make them seem cooler). put bruce wayne back into a murder mystery setting that isn't about saving the world but is about saving one person or one family that no one else would've saved right now or so help me god. the whole invasive species cross contamination thing is unhealthy for both him And the other ecosystems he keeps getting transplanted into. please. it's so dark in here

[bambiraptorx]

[I.D. Digital three panel comic using Baxter Stockman from TMNT 2003 and Flora Chau from Jentry Chau vs the Underworld. The first panel shows them from behind, staring at a building currently in flames. The light from the flames reflects onto Stockman as he stands slouched forward slightly, while Flora, as a ghost, hovers in midair. Unlike Stockman, the light does not reflect on her. The second panel shows them both from the front, eyes wide in matching stressed and shocked expressions. In the last panel they make eye contact, Stockman raising his arms in a helpless shrug and Flora putting her palms together to gesture forward. Stockman says "Minor setback?" and Flora answers "Minor setback." End I.D.]

The fact that they both refer to events where a building is destroyed and people almost die as 'minor setbacks' is so funny to me lol

Also full disclosure I drew ghost Flora because she's short as heck and it worked better for putting these characters in the same frame to have her hovering, but the implications of Stockman just being able to see ghosts for some reason are also very entertaining to me

[regina-del-cielo]

Maybe it's a 'study finds water is wet' type of thought, but

considering it's an action movie whose overall plot is "immortal warriors Fuck Shit Up™️", I think it's significant that in The Old Guard the thing that makes Copley pull red strings through his Murder Conspiracy Board and say "[Merrick] doesn't care what [Andy]'s done with [her immortality]" is the people they save, not the ones they kill

Most of the Conspiracy Board is him circling random newspaper headlines and faces on old photographs to (more or less realistically) follow the immortals' treck through the world and big historical events. Which is, in-canon, not much different than putting portraits from different centuries next to a picture of Keanu Reeves and saying "they look the same, clearly Reeves is an immortal!"

But then there are the connections. A little girl holding Joe's hand in WW1 becoming the youngest (and first) woman to be awarded a Nobel Prize for Medicine (suck it, Kozak). Or the grandchild of a family that Andy saved from [something] helping people escape from the Khmer Rouge genocide in Cambodia.

They are warriors. They have fought and been in the midst of countless wars, major or minor, throughout history. They must have killed as many people as they saved... and yet.

It's not them taking out a random warlord or dictator or rabidly hateful politician that has tangible repercussions in history. It's the children and families they get out of war zones, save from accidents, protect from natural disasters. People to whom they give a second chance at life, and grow to change the world (or even just their own world), like a mysterious stranger once changed theirs just by holding out a hand or patching a wound.

I don't know I just think it's particularly neat

[drabbling-away]

"The Remnant is what's keeping Michael alive" "Michael is a zombie because he's still alive but also dead"

wrong

That man is dead. That man's body is dead. That man is not a zombie, that man is a ghost who is stuck possessing his own decaying corpse.

"How does he move with all the damage that must have been done by Ennard?" he's possessing it.

"How does he talk when he probably doesnt have lungs or vocal chords anymore?" he's possessing it.

"How does he [insert thing that you probably wouldn't be able to do as a corpse and that you need a fully intact body for]" HE'S POSSESSING IT.

IT LITERALLY SOLVES ALL OF THOSE PROBLEMS.

How does Springtrap speak? How does Scraptrap move with those rusty ass joints? How does the puppet speak with a childs voice that it is definitely not programmed to have?

GHOST MAN.

[castleclerics]

hot take the biggest reason that byler doubt still exists in this day and age is because people are viewing everything through a lens of mike being bi and not gay and doubting that they've written mike as fully gay directly contributes to them thinking byler may not be a possibility. (bc they think the writers are not capable of going all the way with anything in this show when it is literally the opposite, like why do u think he has to be bi or has to have been in love with el at one point??) but if i made a really long post explaining why and that mike's specific sexuality is actually extremely important for the context of his character ppl would get mad at me lol

[bajaja-blast]

finally finished this fucking book

it took me almost a year because it’s so hard to get through oh my GODS

[ganondoodle]

honestly cant stand how technically important demise is and yet how he doesnt actually matter or exist in peoples minds as a character, the only thing that matters is his stupid "curse" thing and its the only thing why he will ever be brought up, theres never really any thought around him that isnt related to the "cuuuurse", otherwise he basically doesnt exist in the fandom

to some extent its understandable given how little he actually is in the game but it still makes me sad and a little frustrated imo he shouldnt be treated like soemthing so unimportant given hes involved with the literal start of the timeline

and worst of all is how he and ganondorf make each other worse, like their link is completely deniable yet its like more often than not treated like gan is to demise what zelda is to hylia, but even that isnt used interestingly no, its only ever to write off gan as "well, hes just a demon, demons need no motives or character, they are jsut evil" WHICH IS SO BORING, and people will be HAPPY about that??? they go yippie gan is jsut an evil demon yaaay like the fuck???

it goes around to that other post i made about how not wanting a better written gan is wanting everything to be worse, bc a better written villain is a better written everything and there is only winning in that

demise specifically is just a sore spot for me since hes my blorbo, and the way even gan fans hate him for introducing the "cuuurse" thing just makes it hurt doubly, i get why, still its just so .. man i wish BOTH gan and demise were allowed to be characters, at least gan was a character at some point, demise has nothing ;__;

[thebluestbluewords]

Dis-like-Dysentery

I have a lot of very specific headcanons about Auradon Prep, and one of them is the fact that Jay is both a Smart Guy, and also chronically incapable of turning in assignments on time. For. Reasons.

this might be about one of those reasons.

+

Carlos looks up from his plate as Jay wanders over. “Dude, where were you? We started eating without you.” 

“Talking to a teacher. I submitted an assignment wrong, or something.” 

Carlos nods. He’s got a fork dangling from one hand, and there’s a leaf stuck in his hair. Sunlit from behind, Jay’s pretty sure that he’s the prettiest boy on this side of the barrier. “Oh, man. Was it Demorra? She’s super strict about the rules, especially for the online stuff. I could’ve helped you figure it out bro, you don’t have to get through her bureaucratic shit on your own.” 

Jay sets his tray down on the opposite side of the table. “Nah. It was Williams.” 

Carlos frowns. “The international lit teacher? Really?” 

They’ve been reading through Jay’s lit assignments together. Auradon expects them to type up all of their homework, so he’s been getting by with the hacked dictation program on his laptop and locking himself in the bathroom to read his essays out loud into the program with the minimum of background noise. 

There’s a peer writing tutor who does proofreading two nights a week for free, but Jay’s not gonna take his shitty essays in to her when he’s pretty sure he’ll just get laughed right back out of the student study room for the giant default font Carlos set on his computer. 

It doesn’t exactly make reading his own assignments easier, but it doesn’t make it worse either, so they’re calling it functional for now. Auradon Prep is all about “helping students embrace their unique academic talents”, so Carlos and Evie are both being pulled for more advanced classes, which is great for them, and terrible for Jay’s essays because it’s seriously starting to cut into their free time. 

That, and the trouble they’ve been getting up to after hours. 

The assistant gym teacher still hasn’t figured out who to blame for French braiding all the climbing ropes together. 

“She couldn’t read my handwriting.” 

“Fuck.” 

That’s about the shape of it. Handwritten assignments are few and far between, but Jay can’t bullshit his way through all of them. “Haha, yeah.” 

Carlos thunks his head down onto the table. “Ugh. Fuck. I can make you a handwriting font on the computer, but that’ll make in-class assignments worse if you can’t keep it up.” 

“Yup.” 

He sits up. There’s a dent on his forehead from pressing it into the table. “Eat.” 

“Not hungry,” Jay says as cheerfully as he can manage. It’s not gonna fool Carlos, but he’s not gonna show weakness in front of the royal rabble. “Anyway, we’re not going to the honor board. She’s willing to settle it with some sorta evaluation. Have you heard of dyslexia before?” 

Carlos blinks. “Dyslexia? No. I mean. It’s gotta be dis from like, disinterested, disintegrating, some sort of anti? Or else it’s dys from like, dysentery. Some sort of illness, maybe. Lex has gotta be from lexicon, lexicography. Something to do with either anti-words or a words illness? Does she think you’re sick of words?” 

Jay shrugs. “She said it’s why I’m bad at reading. Wants me to do an assessment so she can know what’s going on.” 

Carlos already has his phone out. He’s typing with one hand, the other one curled around his plate in a defensive hunch that’s almost casual. “Huh. How’s that going for her so far?” 

Jay snorts. “Fab. Nah, she didn’t do it yet. It’s a whole special test that she’s gotta send me down to the psych for.” 

“Can you reject it?” 

“If I wanna meet with the honor board and explain why I apparently have great handwriting, but only when they can’t see me do the assignments.” 

“Fuck.” 

“Yeah. At least she was cool about it.” 

Carlos groans. “Your handwriting sucks, dude. You’re not sick of writing, you’re just— your handwriting sucks.” 

“Yeah, and my fucking reading comprehension. I—“ Jay cuts himself off abruptly as the shadow of more people falls across their lunch table. “Hey, guys.” 

Mal sets her lunch tray down on Jay’s left side, leaving Ben the spot on his right. Evie’s not eating with them today. They have other friends in theory, but between Doug’s science club buddies and Carlos’s general disinterest in socializing with other humans, they didn’t bother picking a table large enough for anyone else.  

“Sorry,” Ben apologizes, even as he’s nudging his shoulder against Jay’s. It’s nice not being the only tall one sometimes. “I couldn’t help overhearing.” 

Jay leans back into the contact. “We were talking out loud, dude. It happens. You got any hot tips for the stupid assessment I’ve gotta do later?” 

“Have you tried being better?” Mal suggests. “I find that cheating works great. I could find you a spell to let one of us borrow your hands for a few hours, and so long as you can tell us what you want to write, we can control the muscles and get better handwriting than your usual chicken scratch special.” 

“Hey.”

“Would that work if you can’t see the paper?” Ben asks curiously. 

Mal frowns. “No. Not unless I modify the spell to possess your eyes too.” 

Jay represses a shudder. “Thanks, but no thanks, M. I like my eyes in one piece.” 

Carlos is scrolling rapidly on his phone, hanging half-over the table in an attempt to get closer to the three of them. “Dude, dyslexia is a brain thing that affects how you process visual input of words— aw, shit.” 

Bad. That’s the bad-news tone. Jay’s heart drops traitorously into his stomach, which suddenly isn’t feeling the tater tots on his lunch tray. “What?” 

Carlos shakes his head. “Nothing too bad. Just, I think Williams is right. You’ve said you’re shit at reading fast cause the words all look the same, right? Like, you can’t scan to identify them, you’ve gotta sound each one out.” 

Jay smashes a tater tot with the side of his fork. The destruction doesn’t make his gut feel any better. It’s not that he’s mad, it’s just— he doesn’t want to do this. Analyzing his brain sucks. He did the whole week of required therapy that the student disciplinary council required after the stuff with Mal’s mom, and he’s so fucking done with Auradon grown-ups pretending to understand why his head’s fucked up. “Yeah, so?” 

Carlos waves the phone at him. “So that’s what this is. You’ve got a brain disorder.” 

“We can fix it, right?” 

He wiggles a hand back and forth. “Ehh. Kinda. There’s techniques to make it easier, but it’s sorta like— your brain is wired for AC power input, and words are DC. It’s a misalignment. We can make an adaptor, but we can’t rip out your brain wiring.” 

“I could,” Mal offers. “I love doing illegal magic.”

[canisalbus]

I’m ALWAYS showing Vaschete to my gf and going “us” (she is Vasco my happy ray of sunshine and holds me up when I’m weak I love her) ((I’m machete because I always look terrified and my machete hasn’t solved any problems as of yet))

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