#it doesnt stop these things from being cool or interesting- you should remain open to analysis as part of your interest! ^^

[cadaverkeys]

you getting the gay vampires response reminds me I too got a rant about it in my replies. I just blocked the person. My post was half joking (sort of) that 19th century vampire novels were pretty gay and in that therefore vampires in general are officially (more of the joke part but I stand by it because I will) not straigh. And then someone got mad asking if I read about any vampiric folklore, books, or anything about the history of vampires and that “most of us take it seriously”.

As I said I blocked them, but also anyways I did a shit ton of research and stuff into vampires and their folklore including before the modern concept and all over the world because they were my special interest (autism) since I was a kid. And I read the book already. Also Carmilla being a book that exists.

The Dracula Daily thing seems to now be getting some weird people coming out of the woodworks to get mad at people

Absolutely...I believe that vampires are culturally linked to many things. They are a vessel of villiany in that, by their nature, they must hurt people to survive. Vampires are also an ancient myth with many different faces. A vampire can be an animal with three tongues and one eye but it might also be a human with straight teeth and a pleasant disposition. The defining factor of the vampire is not its face or its character- it's the violent acts that it must do to survive, drinking blood especially.

In that way. If you are anyone with a deep interest in vampirism I feel that you must be acquainted with vampires as the depiction of bigotry. I feel the book by Bram Stoker is intentionally homophobic, anti-orientalist, and white supremacist. The plot is LITERALLY "the foreign other terrorises us because he is predisposed to hatred and conquest" and I feel that trying to go all "death of author" on this is...stupid. It's purposefully ignorant, even. Critical media analysis doesn't end when you get uncomfortable!

I originally responded thinking that the user was sincerely mislead on their interpretation of my post and I tried to be gentle in my redirection. But at the end of the day they're arguing apples when I'm arguing pears. The original post is ALL about author intent and their response is trying to invalidate that by arguing death of the author above all else. We just aren't arguing about the same things at the end of the day...

They made note to say about how I'm in a grump about this- that this prevents me from enjoying Dracula as a literary work. Fact is, I LOVE Dracula. I love vampires!! Part of my enjoyment of them is ALSO analysing their position in politics. Theres no way to separate the two, imo.

[queers-gambit]

HELLO!! I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH I DO NOT REGRET READING ALL YOUR WORKS FOR THE PAST FEW HOURS HUEHEEUEHEUE

I also really love how you write Aemond and so with that in mind, how would he react if ever in a very unlucky world, he would lose both his child and wife at childbirth (not like viserys where he was given a choice) but bec it just didnt end well esp when pregnancies doesnt really guarantee a safe delivery all the time

oh, that's a lot of reading, poppet! take a break!! (but thank you so much, you're so cute, i love you)

oh, you want ANGST angst? let's get into this - where's my coffee?

[ When Pride Married Prejudice ]

[ following this post // this post // this post ]

this post contains potentially triggering content as we discuss the labors of childbirth, and a very small skimming of what can go wrong. i want everyone to proceed with maturity and caution.

this is NOT part of the WPMP storyline, just a hypothetical.

When he finds out sweet girl is pregnant, the lad is running around as if his head has been cut off - trying to read and learn as much as he could. He'll spend hours in the library and return to your chambers with a few particularly interesting tomes, asking her if you knew about this and that while being pregnant.

He learns about the good, he learns about the bad.

He prepares for what can go right, for what can go wrong.

Yet nothing can truly prepare him for the harsh, mind-numbing reality that he faces. It's so much easier to blame something; be it an inexperienced Maester, or even something tangible - like the baby being flipped the wrong way.

Not something as simple, yet unstoppable, as herniating a blood clot and bleeding out whilst the child wriggled in distress and eventually coiled the umbilical cord around its neck.

He's kept from the birthing chambers originally, and the Maesters only allow Alicent and your hand maiden, Amira, in the room for moral support. He listens to you scream and cry in pain for a solid day and a half, until, things go quiet.

Unusually quiet.

Eerily quiet.

Heart-pounding quiet.

Aemond remains in the hall with Aegon, who had come to check on his brother and offer company, only to be present when all sounds from the birthing chamber suddenly stop. Aegon foolishly claps his brother on the shoulder and congratulates him, assuring the cease in noise was a good sign and meant the baby must've been born.

They wait another hour or more with false hope.

When the door finally cracks open, Aemond takes on look at his mother and knows something terrible has happened. She'll keep the door cracked to prevent him sight, but all is lost when there comes a procession of midwives - all clutching heavily bloodied rags close to their chest. His eye fills with tears and meets the weary gaze of his mother, and all she can muster is, "Come inside, Aemond. You should say goodbye."

"What's happened?" He demands, but there's an unspoken understanding settling over them all.

"Come say goodbye," she whispers again and opens the door for him. There's three different Maesters, plus the Grand Maester, all waiting with bowed head - standing in a line as if to greet the Prince.

Their robes are all soiled in blood, and there, in the middle of the room, laid his wife - his sweet girl - in puddles of her own life's liquid. It soaks into the mattress, blooms into the sheets laying over your cool, stoic form; and there, at the bottom of the bed, laid a bundle.

He's quiet as he assess the room and quickly understands that more blood dripped off the mattress than laid in your body. He hears Alicent and Aegon at the door, but demands again, "What happened?"

One of the Maesters slowly steps up and explains that sometimes, during birth, the stress is too much on the body and there are certain circumstances that nobody can avoid - or help. One, being when the bleeding to too great - a tear located internally that cannot be seen. The baby then went into distress and eventually choked in the womb, being born with the cord around it's neck.

When Aemond carefully pulls the cloth bundle from his baby's face, he'll freeze when he notes the purplish hue coating the pale skin of the babe. In fact, the whole of it looks darkened with bruises and he feels his heart crack right down the middle.

As the Maester explains in depth what went wrong, the Prince slowly approaches your side and kneels. He'll tilt your head towards him and just wait, thinking this was all a bad dream and not truly real; mind reeling to bring forth the facts about births-gone-wrong.

Yet nothing in his mind will comfort him as he slowly takes up your hand. It's cool, not yet cold, but not warmed like your usual touch. Your fingers are stiff and rigid, making him frown as he tries to lace your fingers together for a final time.

His heart officially breaks.

"Why couldn't you save her?" He asks the room when it goes silent, staring at your face.

"Sometimes, there's nothing, even the most trained hand, can do," the Maester explained.

He nods slowly and leans down to press a parting kiss to your forehead. It's still not real, but his temper is flaring as he lets go of you to turn and stare menacingly at the Maester. His mother and brother are on high alert, understanding the dangerous glint in his eyes meant he was beyond words and rational thought.

"Are you?" Aemond grits.

"Am I what, my Prince?" The Maester trembles.

"The most trained hand?"

"W-Well, n-no, I would imagine there's a great deal more skilled than I," the Maester stuttered, glancing to the Queen for help.

"Then there is no use for you," Aemond sighed, blinking once, and brandishing his dagger to stab the Maester's chest. He holds the dying man for a moment before wrenching his knife free and lets the body drop to the floor. "And you?" He demands of the other Maesters. "Which of you will assume responsibility for this?"

"My Prince, sometimes, a woman's body only - "

"Do not try to blame this one her," Aemond seethed, turning to the Maester who dared speak. "This was not her doing - it was your job to protect her!" He yells as he drives his dagger into the second Maester, twisting it deeper.

Seemingly realizing their fate, the others shuffle back a few steps.

"It was your job t-to protect her in this," he pants, confusion warping his mind as guilt soon plunges his stomach. "I should've been here."

"No, Aemond, there was nothing you could have done," his mother tries to insist.

"I am her husband," his voice cracks with emotion, glaring at his mother, "and I could protect her from much more. I just should've been here for her..." His gaze turns back to the bed, choking, "She was alone... She died alone."

"She wasn't," Amira, who stood crying in the corner, finally spoke. Aemond silenced himself at the sight of her, looking shroud into the corner as she withdrew into herself at the loss of her Lady; at the loss of her friend. "She wasn't alone... I-I was here with her."

"The whole time," Alicent promised Aemond softly.

"A-And should it bring your comfort, my Prince," Amira whispered, but it was like her voice echoed across the room, "I reminded her of your love until the end... And selfishly, of my love, too."

Aemond felt the emotional dam in his chest give way. He'll hold his breath for a moment and let it out, shakily, as he nods at the older woman, "You were always like family to her... I'm glad if it wasn't me, it was you with her."

"Me too," Amira whispered before breaking down in a sob.

For some reason, Aemond's feet carried him towards the corner and lowered himself to where the maid had sank to the floor. When his arm came around her shoulder for comfort, Amira was turning to cling onto his neck and sob.

"I want her back," the woman grieved.

"Me too, Mira," Aemond assured, his own tears starting.

"Come," Aegon directed his mother and remaining Maesters, "let us give them privacy, time to say goodbye."

Aemond wanted to shout his thanks but it felt wrong. Why did he need to thank anyone for leaving him alone to say goodbye to his wife?

Amira sobbed without pause for the better part of an hour, and Aemond just silently held her. Offering nothing but his arms for comfort, the words lacking him. But then, like a switch, Amira was pulling away and apologizing. "For what?" Aemond muttered.

"You just lost your wife and child," she whispered, wiping her face, "and yet sit here, comforting me... No, it should be the other way around."

"In truth, Amira?" She nodded. "I do not think there is any comfort for me. Not anymore," his gaze turns back to the bed, "not without her. I do not know what to think other than this is not real."

"I wish is wasn't," Mira nodded. "But it is our reality."

Amira eventually collects herself and leaves the room, too. Aemond slowly, so very slowly, gets to his feet and nears the drying-bed. He'll once more kneel and take your hand, laying a kiss to the back of it. "C'mon," he'll quietly encourage, "you can't be gone, my love. You've gotta get up, okay? You've gotta get up, sweet girl, I can't do this alone. I need you. Hear me?" He squeezes your hand but there's no response. "This... Cannot be," he'll whisper in defeat, bowing his head at last, and sobs horrible sobs into the bedside.

His brother, who had ushered everyone else away, is the only one left in the hall to hear Aemond sob, beg his wife to come back, swear he loved her; promising to do better - as if she died because he wasn't husband enough. As if he wasn't man enough.

At the funeral, Aemond stands alone. There's something akin to guilt that plunges his stomach to his feet and he'll want to isolate himself. His family doesn't think it's a good idea but there's never a time to approach him; he's always alone, always lost in thought. He's angry and takes it out on anyone who tries to speak to him.

Kasta burns your body, and that of your child. Aemond sets her free after that.

He'll become reclusive to the library, ignoring all other responsibilities. You thought he read everything before the pregnancy? Well, now that his wife is gone, he'll read anything he can about the complications of birth.

Some blame the father's seed. Some blame the mother's womb. Some blame wine or ales ingested during pregnancy. And some cite the Gods for playing their hand.

Either way, Aemond began to slowly understand that these kinds of accidents can happen - and there's never any one person to blame because they are simply that: an accident. He'll read until he's cross-eyed, and Amira often finds him face-down in a book, asleep on the library's table top with a single candle burning.

She becomes his hand-maiden because Amira is the only one Aemond can bare talking to you about. He needs someone to understand how incredible you were and what your absence has done to him, and Amira's always there for him.

She feels the obligation after your passing.

She sees the way in which Aemond is falling apart at the seams.

So, she'll make it her personal mission to make sure he's cared for. She's a little harsher with him then others, but it gets him to eat most days and she's satisfied enough in that.

Yet, Aemond won't talk to anyone else really. Not his mother, not his sister; not Otto, not even Cole. Aegon was overly sympathetic to Aemond's pain and lightened up on the jokes and hardened demeanor he showed his brother. Yet, he did not hesitate to send Aemond into the chaos of war.

However, it proved useful, as Aemond was ruthless in the heat of battle. All his anger is channeled into this war and Vhagar feels it. She's noted the absence of her master's wife, and from the feelings of overwhelming sadness coming from him, she understands something's happened to you. He becomes a shell of himself, but that could be expected, since it was you, his sweet girl, his darling wife, who broke him out of his original shell all those years ago.

Now there's nothing left but Aemond's anger - and his love, which has no wife nor child to go towards. It morphs into self-loathing because despite understanding the complications, Aemond cannot shake the idea of saving you when you needed it most, and it eats away at his soul.

[ts-unpopular-opinions]

Side Track Opinions Part 4: Patton

(Only three boys left! I think Patton may be the side who I’ve seen the least analysis about with regards to his playlist, so I’m excited to look a bit deeper)

1) Campfire Song Song: I don’t think the lyrics are very deep with this one 😂 You’ll find that a lot of Pattons songs talk about growing up, so I just find it fitting that a childhood song that probably brought Thomas a lot of joy is Patton’s first song.

2) Turnaround: Both Patton and Logan have songs from The Little Prince on their playlists, so my mind instantly goes to Logan. The song feels like Patton trying to get Logan out of his own head (““Straight (Straight), how can you be so straight? Life is everything but straight (Straight)” “Now, why don't you sing out loud? The tune you keep inside?”) He loves Logan a lot and thinks that sometimes he takes life too seriously and doesnt have enough fun (“Turnaround, and put your pen down”). Patton wishes Logan would relax and just enjoy life sometimes because he worries that taking everything so serious can be harmful (“How can you be so shy?” “Don't say hello, say hi”).

3) I Got a Name: Patton has trouble with Thomas growing up, we know this from the most recent episode. He worries that life is moving too fast and that he doesn’t know how to handle the change (“Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by”). Despite this, he has so many memories of Thomas’ childhood and he holds them very close to his heart (“I've got a song, I've got a song, And I carry it with me and I sing it loud. If it gets me nowhere, I'll go there proud”). Even though he cherishes these memories, he still thinks hes foolish to dwell on them and doubts he will ever be able to get over those memories (“Like the fool I am and I'll always be” “They can change their minds but they can't change me”).

4) Oranges: This song bothers me... Not in the fact that it’s a bad song or that its hard to understand, but it goes against everything we canonically know about Patton. While on first glance its a silly song about the words oranges and chocolates not rhyming with anything, its deeper meaning is actually more so about hiding away ideas and being afraid to make use of them (“How we take our ideas and put them in storage, But peel back the rind, who knows what you'll find”). If the song is supposed to be conveying Patton’s emotions, then I’m just confused. This song makes me feel like he wants to try out all of Thomas’ ideas and love every part of him, but we’ve seen his distaste for Remus is very obvious (“If you don't open a chocolate, who knows what you get”). I’m still on the train that Patton is the reason creativity split in the first place, so him saying things like these just make absolutely no sense...

5) I Don’t Wanna Pray: Although Patton takes religion very seriously and bases a lot of his morals on his faith, he has some doubts about whether religion can be the answer to everything (“Help me to the sun, hey I'm looking everywhere” “And now I don't wanna pray, no I say I don't wanna pray, no”). Patton has also begun to realize that God has created everything in the world, not just good and love, but also hate and pain (“I love my god, god made love. I love my god, god made good. I love my god, god made hate. I love my god, god made bad”). Perhaps this is shows his willingness to start accepting the darker parts of Thomas.

6) New Soul: Oh this is such a Patton song... Of course theres the obvious: Patton is Thomas’ inner child and encompases a lot of those feelings from Thomas’ youth. He hasn’t quite figured out how to function in Thomas’ more serious, adult life (“See I'm a young soul in this very strange world”). Then there’s lines like “Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout how to give and take” and “Finding myself making every possible mistake” that just feel so Pattony. He’s so lost and confused anymore when it comes to guiding Thomas in the right direction, but he tries his best. We can see that in the newest episode with him trying his less ‘assertive’ guidance. Despite this, he knows that he messes up all of the time and he feels awful for it. Everytime I listen to this song I just think of the “I’m sorry.... Again!...” line from POF.

7) Better Together: Oof... This is a tough one because its so loving and sweet. I find it hard imagining Patton singing to only one person, so I just like imagining him singing to Thomas, Roman, Virgil, and Logan. Patton, as we know, cherishes all of the memories that Thomas has created and that all of them have created together (“Our dreams, and they are made out of real things. Like a shoe box of photographs” “And all of these moments Just might find their way into my dreams tonight” “I believe in memories”). I also though it was super interesting that the song mentions “sepia-toned loving” because Patton’s room has a sepia affect when we see it in Moving On and I think this Patton’s nostalgia and this song go together very well.

8) Vienna: This song is so sad, but so sweet... To me, it’s pretty clear that Patton is singing to Roman (and obviously Thomas as well). He worries that Roman dreams too big and works way too hard in an attempt to acheive those dreams (“Slow down, you crazy child. You're so ambitious for a juvenile” “You've got your passion, you've got your pride, But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?” “Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true”). Patton wishes that Roman would be able to relax and just enjoy what he already has because he knows that Roman will only burn himself out in his attempt to accomplish everything he wants to (“Where's the fire, what's the hurry about? You'd better cool it off before you burn it out” “You're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need”). Basically, Patton loves Roman, but worries that some of his dreams are impossible to reach and that is hurting Thomas.

9) It’s You I Like: This song is for sure about Virgil or Thomas. I’m leaning more towards Virgil because the next song is also about Virgil. Really all I have to say is that the title says it all. Patton is ready to accept Virgil for who he is, problems and all.

10) Little Shadow: THIS SONG IS IMPORTANT! Patton is the one who brought Virgil out from the dark sides, or at least convinced him to leave for good (“Little shadow, to the night, will you follow me?”). I think this could be a big reason why Janus and Virgil have a lot of bad blood. Janus used to be Virgil’s source of comfort and protection, but one day Patton just decided to fill in that role and do it arguably better? I’d be pretty butt-hurt if I was Janus too. That explains why Janus was honestly such a jerk to Patton up until the end of the most recent episode when Patton accepted him. I think Janus realized just what Virgil must have felt like way back when Patton accepted him. Janus realized that he wasn’t good for Virgil like Patton is and that had to have stung... I guess we’ll see what happens between those two in the future...

11) Sad: What do yah know? Another Virgil song! This one was actually confirmed by Thomas to be about Virgil so that makes it easier to analyze for me 😂. Patton wants to help Virgil get over his pain and history with the dark sides, but he doubt if anything he does is helping (“You're just too good at being sad. I'm just a Band-Aid on a broken heart. Yeah, I'm the best at making you laugh for a breath, and you're back in your head, you're so sad” “Don't know if I'm hurting or helping” “All I wanna do is take the sad from you, But I can't and you wouldn't let me anyways”). It’s sad, its sweet, its very Patton.

12) Oh Heart: Thomas has a crush! Basically this whole song is Thomas singing about being in love with someone and him begging Patton, or his heart, not to make a fool out of him. I imagine Patton get’s really confused and jumbled up whenever Thomas is in love because love can do that to a person! It’s really cute and I honestly overlooked this song on my first couple of listens through the playlist. Here’s just some cute lines I liked: “Who am I kidding? You're the one” “Oh heart, Oh Heart, stop making a fool of me” “You should look at me. Look at me!” “I'm going to make you laugh again”. With this song and Jumpstarted from Roman’s playlist, I’m starting to see just how hard to handle Roman and Patton may be whenever Thomas has a crush 😂

13) The Flame: This one seems really deep, but for the life of me I cannot crack it. To me it just feels like Patton telling Thomas that no matter how dark things get, he can always look to his heart for the answer (“But hold on for your heart to beat inside To be your guide”). I honestly get really creepy vibes from this song. Like Patton is trying to get Thomas to ignore all of the dark parts of him and instead just keep listening to him and him alone (“There will be times that grow darker with the dusk, But light will still remain in us”). This song is just interesting to me because it feels like one of the first instances where Patton believes he has all of the answers and doesn’t need the others help. But truly, I’m not sure what this song is about.

14) Landslide: Did someone say time to cry? Cause it’s time to cry! This is a PERFECT song for the ending of POF where Patton admits to being afraid of growing up and changing. I think this song is Patton singing to Thomas about these exact fears (“Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?” “Well, I've been 'fraid of changin' 'Cause I've built my life around you, But time makes you bolder, Even children get older, And I'm gettin' older, too”). It’s honestly like this song was just written for Patton and it makes me wanna cry every time I hear it.

15) Float On: One word... REPRESSION! Not much to say other than Patton ignores all the bad things that happen to Thomas and just tries to act like everything is okay. Not a very good thing to do, but very on brand for Patton.

16) With a Little Help From my Friends: Another song that I hate to take at face value, but I don’t really have any other ideas for what it means. Whenever Patton is feeling down or in a slump, he looks to the others for comfort and support. Think, Logan giving Patton the cat hoodie at the end of Moving On. Those are the kinds of vibes I get from this song.

17) What Makes the World: (edited because I was looking at the wrong lyrics) Basically Patton thinks that love is the answer to everything (“Love makes the world go 'round”). No matter what, no matter how dangerous or serious a situation is, you should always trust your heart (“Oh, I heard to turn away a neighbour, Is living without danger, But that ain’t so”). All in all, Patton has a very unrealistic view of society. He tends to always see the good in people which can be a bad thing sometimes.

18) Somewhere Over the Rainbow: You thought the last song was foolishly optimistic... well youre in for a shocker with this one! Patton basically just goes on and on about how great the world is. I’m honestly starting to wonder if Patton is even capable of criticizing the world and the people in it. It seems like the only thing he can criticize is Thomas. Also, like I said in the last song, I think this creates an interesting dynamic between Patton and Janus: One loves the world world and only ever sees the good in everyone while the other despises it and sees the bad in everything.

19) Golden Slumbers: I feel like this one is way too short to get a huge idea on what it’s about. It seems to me like Patton is just comforting Thomas and reasuring him that things will be okay, despite the changes that are happening in his life.

20) So Long: AHHHH THIS SONG IS SO CUTE! It’s very fitting as Patton’s last song as well, based on the events of the last episode. If you can come up with an argument that convinces me that this song isn’t about Janus, be my guest, but it’ll be hard to do. In the song Patton basically sings about how Janus can be a pain in the butt and really get to him, but they work well as a team and he wants them to stay together as a team (“I won't get too sappy, I had no epiphany, I just enjoy your company” “You test my nerves, It makes me stronger. So can you bother me a little bit longer?” “Because it's been so long since I made a friend like you” “I could dot the I's and you could cross the T's, Cause letters alone are lonely”). Basically I love them, they are great, they are best friends now, and that after credit scene still has me shook over how quickly they just became friends. We stan our divorced dads 💙💛

(Sorry this took so long guys! I’ve been procrastinating! Let me know what you think 💙)

[kiruuuuu]

Doc/Lion oneshot in which Lion absolutely can’t get enough of Doc. (Rating E, pure filth + fluff, ~4k words) - written for the ever so wonderful 1ce_09 on twitter ♥♥ Everyone who hasn’t already, check them out for beautiful Siege art! Thank you so much for commissioning me, I enjoyed myself :)

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If anyone had asked Lion a year – hell, months – ago which part of the day was his least favourite, he would’ve said waking up. Throughout his life, the only consistently good thing staying with him has been how easily he falls asleep and his ability to only wake up once fully rested; he sometimes thinks it’s a genuine blessing he received, a rare show of mercy of which he’s ultimately undeserving. Even when his mind worked overtime, even when there was an oppressive weight on his soul, even when there was no reason to get up in the morning, he drifted off like a lazy, oversized house cat napping in the sun. In rare moments, he idly wonders whether this ability hasn’t saved his life at some point, granted him this little bit of energy he needed to get through the day, gave him enough hope to trudge on and eventually sparked his endeavour to make it up to those he wronged.

And then there are his dreams. They’ve always been vivid, abstract, hard to grasp, but as a child he could always pinpoint at least a location or a person, something concrete which gave him an indication of what was on his mind at the time. After – after Claire, after colourful pills and pieces of paper with cartoon characters on them and a few other things, his nightly visions became even more obscure, swirls of colour, evoking emotions whose vibrancy stays with him in this twilight between waking and sleeping, a half-doze in which he’s disembodied yet conscious. He enjoys their embrace and despised nothing more than the afterimages being violently ripped away from him by a shrill alarm.

These days, he doesn’t mind it so much. The reason for his change of mind is as fortunate as it is unbelievable because of all its facets no one could’ve predicted, especially not him: It’s someone he loves (and he’d given up on this particular idea a while ago). It’s a man (and while he’s fooled around with some of his friends before, it was largely born from spite and the thrill of the forbidden). And of all people, it’s Doc.

It took him months to come to terms with the realisation that his infuriating colleague never really left his thoughts because of a fierce desire to impress him, not because of personal dislike. Doc is revered wherever he treads and when Lion earned his ire, it was much easier to pretend the negativity dictating Lion’s remorseless remarks and actions towards the other man stemmed from disdain and not disappointment in himself, not from a knee-jerk reaction to the realisation that Doc would never see him as an equal now.

It took him even longer to finally act on it too, reach out and attempt to rebuild the bridge Doc had destabilised and which Lion had spitefully burned in response; it required endless conversations with Bertrand as well as the rest of the GIGN, a worrisome amount of self-reflection, and uncomfortable, tough admissions.

But he managed. Looking back, it’s amazing how much he turned his life around, how much he achieved with the help of those around him and indubitably help from above, and he’s humble enough to try and let his gratitude shine through in everything he does these days.

He even learnt to enjoy waking up. Though admittedly it wasn’t difficult, no, not at all, not when he knows he’ll have company, be greeted with a smile and a kiss, a brief update on global events, a cup of coffee just how he likes it. And so instead of hitting the snooze button on his phone several times, tossing and turning, dreading the beginning of yet another day, he wakes with a serenity he never thought he could achieve.

This morning, his heart feels even lighter than normal and it doesn’t take long to figure out why: there’s a warm body next to his. Doc prefers getting up early, always prefers being prepared no matter what and possesses the inhuman ability to sleep without an alarm and be on time anyway – but rarely, on one of their days off, he allows himself to sleep in, much to Lion’s delight.

Smiling to himself, he rolls on his side to dazedly blink at the spectacular view in front of him and really, Doc has no business being this gorgeous this early in the day. He’s stretched out on his stomach – and he’s the only person Lion has met who sleeps this way –, head turned away from Lion, explaining his constant neck pains, and smooth skin illuminated by the rays falling in through the blinds, painting long stripes on his naked back.

Lion doesn’t want to disturb the image yet reaches out regardless, runs his fingertips over shoulder blades jutting out, the dip of his lower back, relaxed muscles, and reaches the blanket covering Doc from the hips downwards. He should let him sleep. Really, he should, but with every centimetre more that’s revealed, Lion’s interest rises. He takes his time, pauses when he hears his lover take a deep breath and proceeds when it evens out again. Slowly, surely, he reveals plump curves and more soft skin, and then his gaze falls on the discoloured spots on the back of Doc’s thighs and the almost languorous desire playfully swaying in the back of his mind suddenly gets shoved to the very forefront, makes his heart skip a beat and his crotch throb.

Memories from the previous evening come flooding back, the end of a tedious work day necessitating some kind of release – they’d started as soon as they set foot into their apartment, Lion crowding his lover against the door and licking every bit of composure off his tongue, then wandering deeper with his hungry mouth and swallowing him whole, something he’s come to love, provided he can watch Doc’s features dissolve into helpless want while sucking on him, hard. He took his time, did so for the rest too, left Doc aching and fingered him open over the couch until he was flushed and flustered and even more beautiful, took him standing up until his legs gave in, relocated to the kitchen table, eventually landed in bed where he finished them both off with merciless snaps of his hips, listening to Doc’s desperate whines and floating on pure ecstasy.

The bruises are remnants, and now he also feels the scratches on his back again which he didn’t let the other man see, angled his body so he wouldn’t notice the damage he’s done – he usually feels bad about leaving marks though Lion can never get enough. It’s one of the many small disagreements about which they half-heartedly argue and neither of them is ready to budge, but more often than not they end with a hand in someone’s hair or quick kisses. There’s more, now that he knows where to look, Doc’s ass cheeks themselves are still tinted red and the lovebites Lion sucked onto his ribs remain perfectly visible as well.

Maybe he should add a few.

Moving carefully, he removes the blanket entirely, admires Doc’s shapely legs for a moment and then kneels between them, intending no more than to touch the sleeping beauty a little, but as soon as his palms come to rest on firm flesh, a different thought makes his cock twitch in anticipation. Doc is perfectly on display like this, the hills and valleys of his body enticing in a way that Lion wants nothing more than mould himself around them, and he decides to appreciate it all by waking Doc with something more… personal than simply covering him in hickeys.

Thumbs pull the cheeks apart a little, exposing a pink hole which looks overwhelmingly inviting to Lion, a hole he abused to his heart’s content the previous evening and so it’s only appropriate for him to make up for the rough treatment, isn’t it? He leans forward and gingerly circles the rim with the tip of his tongue, starting feather-light and increasing the intensity slowly, intersperses it with broad laps and has to suppress a moan when he feels the ring of muscle pulsing in response. He’s felt similar contractions around his shaft so many times before and the association is all he needed for a full, heavy erection – especially when he remembers Doc’s usual, elated expression whenever he climaxes.

The hips beneath his hands shift a little, and a foot lifts, powerless, and when he pushes the tip of his tongue inside, Doc lets out a sleepy groan. “Really?”, he mumbles into the sheets but makes no move to stop Lion. “Didn’t we do enough yesterday?”

He grins and forces himself a little deeper, eliciting a weak moan, before withdrawing for a reply: “Gustave, I can never have enough of you.” And to cut off any smart remark, he wiggles his tongue back inside and turns all of Doc’s protests into small, appreciative noises. Though his lover appears to be the voice of reason more often than not, he allows himself to get swept up by Lion’s passion all the time, mentioning work but riding him with abandon ten minutes later, scolding him for only thinking about one thing but asking him to come on his face the same day. Lion never minds initiating, not when this is the result: an increasingly aroused Doc meeting his mouth with subtle grinding, fisting the sheets and not even fully awake yet.

A curious finger proves Doc to be more than loose enough a few minutes later, and by this point they’re both panting and dizzy – and besides, Lion has always been more of a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ type, so he wastes no time in grabbing the lube strategically placed on the bedside table to pour a generous amount on his stiff cock, wincing a little at the cool, viscous liquid. A few strokes for good measure coat it sufficiently and the next moment he’s rubbing his tip over the very hole he licked open just now, felt it quiver around his tongue. The touch is electrifying and the fierce need pulsing through him urges him to give in, take what’s his, ensure his own pleasure.

But he waits. Bites his lip in impatience, pushes slightly against the entrance and shivers when he feels it give way a little, squeezes one of the buttcheeks he maltreated in the sweetest way possible last night – but he waits.

And then Doc meets him, lifts his hips to allow the head to slip inside and both of them gasp at the sudden surge of pleasure. Lion accepts this signal for what it is and begins the slow slide, pushes deeper and deeper into deliciously tight heat, feels Doc’s walls contract around his dick and only stops once he’s bottoms out. Since his lover usually requires a moment to adjust, Lion uses this time to not only focus on how fucking good he feels, but also to straddle the other man properly and lean down, cover him with his own body and place a few loving kisses on the top of his head.

“Other people wake their boyfriends with breakfast in bed”, Doc grumbles under him, now less bleary than before, but the hand he places next to Lion’s contradicts his words. He spreads his fingers and Lion interlaces them with his own, holds on tight and makes no move to suppress the smile stretching his lips at the gesture.

“Their boyfriends are definitely not as erotic as mine then”, he purrs into Doc’s hair. His limbs are possessively caging the other man in and even then, it hardly suffices to sate his need to be as close to Doc as possible, feel all of him.

“What you mean to say is they have more than just a shred of self-control.” And oh, he’s going to make Doc eat those words.

Slowly, he begins grinding down, impatient erection twitching eagerly inside and rubbing against all the right places if Doc’s startled gasp is anything to go by. He loves it deep and Lion knows it, rolls his hips against his lover’s perfect ass and makes him feel every centimetre keenly. For good measure, he bows his head to latch onto that spot right below Doc’s ear which he knows drives him wild, tongues at it wetly before sucking and relishes the unrestrained moan he earns for his trouble. Over time, he’s memorised all of Doc’s weakspots and exploits this knowledge now shamelessly, bites at his earlobe and trails his lips over soft skin to the back of Doc’s neck where he nibbles, his lazy motions emphasising his ministrations.

By now, Doc is trembling against him, the deep grind stealing his breath and causing him to jerk his hips up in search of more thorough stimulation than this merciless teasing, trying to fuck himself on Lion’s cock but failing. Frustrated huffs join the quiet panting, his grip involuntarily tightening parallel to him clenching desperately around Lion’s hard shaft and it’s mesmerising to behold how his mock crossness melts away into pure lust.

Doc’s other hand reaches back and digs into Lion’s ass, tries to get him to move more, faster, anything, but when that fails as well, he pleads: “Come on, just fuck me, Olivier.”

He knows how this goes. Grinning to himself, Lion tenses his muscles to make his dick throb inside additionally to the tantalising motions and decides to have even more fun. “You look so pretty, impaled on my cock”, he whispers and throws Doc a bone, withdraws all the way and slowly slides back in, keeps this torturous pace and sighs contentedly every time Doc’s hole allows him back in, stretches around him. He meant his words – he really can never get enough of this.

Uneven breaths have turned into whines now. “Olivier, please -”

“I could fuck you, pump you full of come and then leave you, dripping and begging for it”, he continues and concentrates on the steady build of pleasure – a slow climb but oh so satisfying. Doc feels wonderful around him. “Could do that the entire day. Every time you suck me until I’m hard again, I shoot inside but you’re not allowed to come. You can ride my cock all day, Gustave.” The thought is dazzling and he probably never fantasised about someone while being balls deep inside that very person, yet he can’t help but picture Doc all powerless, frenzied, obeying him fully. He knows Doc is too proud to actually agree to anything like it, though the throaty moan Doc lets out in response tells Lion unambiguously that he’s imagining it – and actually enjoys the thought. Still, Lion’s thumb strokes reassuringly over the hand he’s still holding.

“Please, I want you, go faster -” Doc’s impatience has reached its peak now, he shoves himself onto Lion’s member in one go and pushes against him, whimpers when Lion gnaws at his neck in retaliation and rises nonetheless, lifting his lover’s body with him. The teasing has left him frantic and exactly how Lion likes it, cheeks red and gaze almost defiant when he glares at the larger man over his shoulder. Lion could spend all day marvelling at the state of him.

Instead, he relents, guides Doc onto his hands and knees and grabs his hips to steady him, fingers brushing over the bruises on Doc’s thigh, the faint purplish tinge an expression of his devotion. “You want it hard?”, he asks and is almost surprised at how breathy his own voice is. Unbridled want is pulsing through him, vicious and blinding, making his digits itch and cock ache.

Doc nods wordlessly and it’s probably good he can’t see the pure joy on Lion’s face over the admission. Even now, even with how familiar they are with each other, every confirmation of the passion, respect and love they share sparks delight.

A sharp snap of Lion’s hips later and his focus is elsewhere again. Now he’s getting serious, drives into Doc at a fast tempo, watches as his entire erection disappears inside him and tries his best not to come on the spot. The abrupt stimulation is almost too much but he keeps going through the discomfort paired with blunt need until he hears himself moan loudly in pleasure, dig his fingertips into Doc’s flesh. He’s not going to last long, that much is clear, but he’s going to make it good regardless.

A few pointed thrusts elicit more dazed whimpering from his lover, a picturesque arch of his back to allow Lion to penetrate him all the way and even another, decidedly more heated glance back at him. They’re both equally into it, tensing and moving against each other amid the sound of skin slapping against skin, the rustling of sheets as Doc desperately seeks support, leverage, anything to hold on to – and Lion shares the sentiment of feeling wholly lost yet not wanting to be found. Ruthlessly, he slams into his lover, chasing his pleasure, helping Doc pursue his own, and makes no effort to hide his enjoyment.

A sudden spike almost pushes him over the edge when Doc’s arms give in, accompanied by something that sounds suspiciously like a keen, and now he’s really pounding him into the mattress, showing him just how deep his desire runs, how comprehensive his attraction is. He can’t even pinpoint which part it is exactly about Doc that drives him this wild, fills him with the urge to claim, mark, embrace and never let go; and he revels in the knowledge of being able to make this otherwise so poised, dignified and professional man fall apart, provoke emotions from him he displays for no one else.

“Come for me”, Lion gasps in between the creaking of the bed, “do it. Come on, amour, Gustave, I want to feel it.” And the sounds he wrenches from Doc’s throat with every thrust get impossibly louder when his lover reaches for his dick, probably not able to keep up with the merciless rhythm with which Lion is driving into him but still good enough. He gets tighter, even more so when Lion’s breath hitches, followed by a growl. He’s getting closer by the second, Doc’s noises and velvety heat making up the perfect catalyst -

And then Doc orgasms, surprisingly quickly for how little he stroked himself, he must’ve been primed, possibly dreamt of Lion and this thought is a whole other turn-on he shelves away for later. Right now, he watches, utterly transfixed, as Doc spasms under him, hips rolling futilely to either increase the intensity or shy away from it as he shoots his sperm in short bursts in between the hard thrusts. Lion fucks him through it, runs one of his palms over the dancing muscles of Doc’s back and shudders at the violent contractions around his throbbing cock; fucks him through the aftershocks, too, tiny jolts which speak of a very satisfying climax. Lion isn’t there yet, however, not fully, teetering on the edge, carefully controlling himself so he can take all of Doc in and -

“Finish inside, Olivier”, Doc demands, voice shaky, and he’s gone.

His abs tense with a delicious kind of pain at the first wave of blissful release washing through him. He buries himself deep inside his lover and moans in disbelief over how abruptly pleasure explodes behind his eyelids and nearly folds in half at the intensity, gasping for air as his cock twitches and probably adding a few bruises to the existing ones. Momentary blindness allows him to be wholly aware of Doc moving against him to milk him for every drop, of overwhelming relief encompassing his entire being as he orgasms, surrounded by scorching heat and momentarily losing all sense of reality.

Coming down is a slow, gradual affair, both of them slumping a little and Lion bending so he can rest his forehead on Doc’s shoulder blade as they both catch their breath, bask in the afterglow and enjoy the feel of shared body heat, companionship and sweet exhaustion. Lion peppers his boyfriend’s shoulder with kisses once he can see straight again, withdraws tentatively and sits up to examine the masterpiece he just fucked into existence in all its glory: shiny skin, reddened cheeks, a gaping hole, dark marks and lovebites, and, after a few seconds, a thin stream of white leaking out.

Lion is definitely unable to get hard immediately after a climax this exquisite but his dick gives a feeble jump at the sight nonetheless. He reaches out and catches the droplets with a fingertip, pushes them back to where they came from, pushes them back inside and earns a quiet moan. Adding another digit, he tries to finger the semen as deep as he can and only pauses when Doc kicks him lightly.

“I’m sore enough as it is”, he complains and rolls to the side when Lion withdraws mournfully, yet there’s a bright smile adorning his face when their eyes meet.

With weak knees, Lion stalks back and forth to get them cleaned up (and is actually amazed Doc doesn’t mention the scratches he himself inflicted) but insists on doing one thing by himself: once he’s taken his rightful place by Doc’s side, entangled their legs and exchanged a few loving kisses, he catches Doc’s wrist to lift it to his face and starts to lick his palm clean.

“You’re like a dog”, his lover murmurs fondly and readily spreads his fingers to allow for better access. “They should’ve called you Husky, not Lion – they’re just as noisy and stubborn.”

Lion shoots him a good-natured grin. “Then you should be called Bunny. What was that about self-control?”

“Oh please, you’re the eternally horny one, mon amour.”

“And yet you never say no.” Their lips meet once more in a long, thorough kiss, with Doc climbing on top of Lion halfway through, ending up straddling him and stroking his face affectionately until Lion mouths at his palm while keeping eye contact.

“You really love my hands”, Doc points out quietly.

It’s true, he does – he loves how steady they are on the job, never making a mistake, never causing harm; loves how they’re calloused and scarred, lots of specks and lines lighter in colour telling tales of hard work; loves how they worship him, how gently they treat him, how warm they are when they touch him.

“I also really love you”, Lion says instead of the million other things he could say instead which would amount to the same thing. He’s learnt his lesson about being honest with himself and others and can’t find it in himself to be embarrassed when his admissions make Doc’s face light up like a Christmas tree. “And your hands do good. They’re your most important tools and I’m thankful every time I feel them.” There’s so much more for which he’s grateful that making a list would take him several days, so he tries to convey all which he’s not divulging explicitly with a heartfelt: “Thank you, Gustave.”

Doc’s features soften and he accepts the notion with one last kiss before getting up. “I’m going to brew us some coffee”, he announces, yet pauses by the bedroom door to catch Lion’s gaze and add, softly: “I love you too, Olivier.”

And while Lion remains in bed for a minute longer, stretched out and encased in soothing warmth coming from within, a distracted smile pulling at the corners of his mouth and most of his body tingling pleasantly, he thinks back to his life no more than a year ago. How unthinkable it was that waking up would become his favourite part of the day. But sometimes, the unthinkable happens all the same.

[vegafiction]

Hey there! Thanks for the Voltron Bad Things Happen bingo ficlets. Would you be able to do an Isolation for Lance? It seems like the thing that would suck the most for him. Maybe he's lost in the wilderness on a dangerous world and has to wait for the rest of the team to find him. Doesn't have to be shippy, but I'm cool with klance if that's you're preference (that was the only ship I noticed was in the tags).

Count: ~1.2kPairing: N/AChara(s): LanceFandom: VoltronPrompt: IsolationWarning(s): None

So, I didn’t add a ship in this. It’s mostly Lance-centric, none of the other Paladins show up because I was interested in exploring his mental deterioration as a result of prolonged isolation. I made a note on Ao3 about it so I’ll include it here: Lance’s perception of Red in this is skewed by prolonged isolation and constant stress from having to survive on an alien planet. It’s up to you to believe whether or not Red’s decision here was the right one.

I feel like this could have been way better but I’m not going to force my brain to push out anything else this late at night. >_

Get your own card @badthingshappenbingo

Ko-Fi | Ao3 | Masterlist | Request

He tore through the forest as fast as his legs could carry him. He was mindful of the upturned roots or the low hanging branches that whipped past his face or just barely grazed his cheek, but he couldn’t afford to slow down. He clutched his damaged gun close to his chest, his breathing harsh as he forced his legs to pump faster. The loud roar of the creatures behind him carried through the sky. They didn’t sound close, but they weren’t far enough for him to rest.

Lance jumped off a small ledge and slid down the muddy wall until the momentum bounced him off the wall. He stumbled into a small creek, splashing and spraying water all along the length of his sore legs. He continued running.

He didn’t stop until the planet’s three moons drifted into the sky. He slid down another hill then, finally, collapsed safely inside a cave opening.

He gasped for air, feeling his lungs and body burn from the strenuous effort of trying to survive in a world that desperately wanted to kill him. 

There were dragons on this planet – large, impressive, dangerous beasts who took one sent of Lance and decided he was something they would have for dinner. In other circumstances, Lance would have been in awe. They were gorgeous creatures, ancient and mystical, but terribly temperamental and vicious. He’d encounter a few who had been friendly to him; a very small herd he wished he had stayed close to. Their alpha had been the one to save him from the ravenous wolves Lance had accidentally stumbled upon, but most of the dragons on this planet were quite unfriendly.

Some of them had even managed to break his bayard.

Lance rolled onto his back with a pained groan. His muscles screamed in protest with every movement he made, but lying there, so close to the entrance of the cave, would give him away. He forced himself to his knees and crawled further into the cave.

Deep inside, Lance allowed himself to collapse onto the makeshift bed he had fastened from the leaves of the trees and other fibers. He dropped his damaged bayard beside him and turned to the wall.

Lines were etched into the solid rock. There were four lined together as neatly as possible with another slashing diagonally across. Lance picked up a sharpened rock from the ground and scratched a new line beside the others. There were six lines now.

He sighed.

“It’s been thirteen quintants since I’ve been on this planet,” he said to the silence, eyeing the tally marks. His eyes trailed upward toward the ceiling. A sense of dread washed over him. “I really hope I don’t have to fill up this whole wall.”

He tossed the rock aside and, with much discomfort, rose to his feet. He gathered wood and tinder from the far corner and tossed them into the fire pit. He lit a fire through the sparking of rocks then shuffled around the cave for his supply of food.

His first few days surviving alone on this planet had been… unpleasant. He’d gone hungry for three days before he finally managed to kill a few of the smaller beasts. He learned the hard way what berries were edible and which ones were poisonous. (He’d been lucky the poisonous berries were not potent.)

Finding the cave alone had been a blessing. Everything else was pure survival instinct.

“You know, I bet if the others were here, they’d be really impressed.” He grinned to the fire. It flickered and crackled in response. “I know right? I bet they never would expect me to survive out here on my own, but hah! I managed to survive thirteen quintants with just my bayard!”

At the mention of the broken weapon, Lance felt his good mood grow somber.

The flames sizzled.

“It’s my fault. I should’ve been more aware of where the dragons were.” Just like it’s my fault I’m here in the first place.

He propped a berry into his mouth and chewed.

Are they even looking for you? It’s been thirteen days.

“I’m sure they’re looking. They probably… they probably can’t find Red’s coordinates. Once they find him, they’ll find me.”

But you’re nowhere near the Red Lion. Even if they find it, they won’t find you.

Lance shifted uncomfortably in his place, suddenly burdened by the harsh reality that was the Red Lion.

Why hadn’t the Red Lion activated on its own? Whenever Keith was in danger, the lion would act on its own volition and yet, when Lance had been faced with a life or death situation, the giant, mechanical lion had just… remained frozen. It was as though he were unfazed by the fact that Lance’s life was on the line. Like Lance’s life held no importance in the lion’s eyes because he simply was not Keith.

Lance’s brows furrowed as realization dawned on him.

That had to be it. That had to be the reason why. He was not Keith. He wasn’t the skilled fighter pilot Red had chosen at the beginning of their unwanted adventure. Lance was just… Lance, a bottom of the barrel cargo pilot who barely scraped by in the Garrison.

He wasn’t some cool, edgy half-human, half-galra fighter. He wasn’t Keith. He could never be Keith, and maybe… that was why Red had chosen to remain frozen. They were just complete opposites.

Where Lance failed, Keith excelled. He’d been chosen by Red, deemed the only one who could control the lion’s unruly nature. Then, he’d been chosen by the Black Lion as their new leader in Shiro’s absence. And even when he’d willingly gave away the position back to Shiro upon his return, the Black Lion still chose him as their leader. It still obeyed his every command, just like Red, just like the others do.

Maybe Red saw something in him that it doesn’t see in you. Said the voice in his head. Or maybe it sees exactly who you really are: a rotten kid from Cuba and unworthy of being a Paladin.

Lance stared blankly into the flickering flames. He felt the heat of the fire caress his skin, warming his cold, exhausted body. He hadn’t realized he’d been shivering until then.

He tossed another piece of wood into the flames.

“Sometimes I wonder if Blue only chose me to get to Allura.” Suddenly, he chuckled. “Imagine that? A lion using me to get to a girl. I guess that can still happen out in space.” He laid back onto his hands, eyes unseeing. “Maybe I’m exactly where I need to be? Blue doesn’t need me anymore. I’m not worthy to pilot the Black Lion and Red just doesn’t seem to like me. Maybe this was my destiny the whole time, getting stuck on an alien planet, far away from home.”

Tears welled in his eyes, but he refused to shed them.

At least you won’t be a burden to them anymore.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

He rubbed his weary eyes with the heel of his palms as a yawned ripped itself from his throat. He crawled back to his pile of leaves and curled onto his side, facing the flames. A part of him wondered if he should snuff it out, it seemed dangerous to fall asleep with an open flame. Yet, he chose not to move. He remained where he laid, watching the fire dance among the shadows until his vision blurred into darkness and the only thing left in his mind was the fuzzy visage of the Red Lion.

[pjo-hoo-nextgen]

The First Quest X

Andy attempted to gain some knowledge as to why Maria and Jaxon were no longer on speaking terms, but not many people knew what had happened.

“I don’t get it,” Andy huffed, resting his chin on his hand. “They always fight but this is different.”

“Wrench,” Sol held out her hand expectantly and Andy placed the tool in her grip.

“If anything they’d have fixed it by now.” He paused in thought for a moment, tapping his fingers against his chin.

“Maybe they just need time apart.” Sol suggested making an unusual attempt at conversation.

“They hardly touch one another with an eight foot pole. They have plenty of time apart.” Andy laughed. Sol hummed in reply and settled her goggles back on her face. “I mean the bickering gets old but the silence is just...uncomfortable.”

“Some people have odd ways of doing things.” The motor Sol was working on gave a small attempt to start before fizzling out. “Crap. I swore I fixed it.”

“Try jiggling the knobby thing.” Andy pointed at a protrusion on the machine.

“That’s not what it’s called,” Andy noticed the small smile on her face and couldn’t help but sit up a bit taller. She took his advice anyways and sure enough the engine gave a mighty sputter before maintaining a low hum. “Yes! Finally!”

“Great! Now you can put it on the motorized dummy track for the training arena!” Andy hopped up from the stool he’d been sitting on.

“That’s the plan.” Sol nodded, moving to turn off the device. With a satisfied nod she tugged off her goggles and gloves.

“You got a little something.” Andy gestured to his own nose indicating the spot where Sol had a fair amount of grease plastered on her face.

“Again?” With a grunt of frustration Sol used the hem of her shirt to scrub at her face. The grease only smeared further over her nose and cheeks.

“Don’t do that!” Andy laughed. “You got it everywhere!”

“Ugh! I hate my life!” Sol huffed.

“Sit down. I got this.” Andy offered her the stool. Sitting, Sol watched him curiously until he came back with a squirt bottle, a surprisingly clean rag, and a mirror. “I will be your stylist today. I was trained in the art of beauty!”

With an impish grin Andy did a clumsy spin and struck a pose, spinning the bottle on his finger as if it were a ring of car keys.

“I hate you.”

“I know.” Andy winked. “Now let the master work.”

Sol sat perfectly still as Andy worked at cleaning away the stubborn residue. She’d had experiences like this before and her skin was often left red and raw from the rough material. This time, however, it was different. Andy managed to perform the task with ease being surprisingly gentle.

“Aaaaaaand, done.” He declared. “Take a look babe.”

Andy held up the mirror for Sol to check her reflection. “Not bad Grace.”

“Clean as a whistle.” Andy nodded. “Like I said...I’m the master.”

“Of dorkiness.” Sol scoffed tossing the dirtied rag at him.

“My feelings.” Andy feigned offense. “Anyways, we have a game of capture the flag to prepare for.”

“Indeed.” Sol nodded. “I have a feeling this will be very interesting.”

— — —

Indeed it was. Maria and Jaxon were inevitably on the same team once more. Only this time, Grey was left trying to manage the forces.

Maria and Jaxon had both adopted personal agendas and didn’t bother to acknowledge the rest of their team.

“Okay, so...I’m on defense. This is cool.” Andy talked to himself as he paced beside the flag.

“What’d you expect? We got our moment of glory last time. The other kids were destined to have a shot.” Sol frowned sitting on a rock and sharpening her blade. “But the schedule goes Wednesday-Friday for Capture the Flag games. We get another shot soon enough.”

“Yeah, but I expected more entertainment.” Andy paused in his pacing to kick a rock into the trees. At first neither of them noticed it but then it became quiet clear.

There was a commotion going on at the center of the battlefield. From the sound of it nearly everyone had stopped to watch. “Okay, I know we have to guard this but-“

“Come on.” Sol was already running in the direction of the noise with Andy following hot on her heels. The two stumbled from the woods to find a very alarming sight.

“Oh my Gods they’re trying to kill each other.” Andy breathed.

Despite being on the same team Jaxon and Maria were locked in a heated duel. Maria had a score to settle and she intended on restoring some of her pride.

Sol was the first to do anything. Being small she managed to worm her way through the gathered crowd. Andy squeezed his way through with a bit more effort.

“I said go to the right.” Jaxon growled.

“What I do is not up to you.” Maria replied slashing at him with her sword. Jaxon stepped to the side and lashed out in return. Maria arched her blade behind her back ending the strike. “You made it quite clear.”

Spinning Maria slashed angrily at Jaxon’s ankles. Leaping he twisted in the air sending a blast of air far more violent than he should have. Maria was knocked to the side, she tumbled a bit, before coming to a rest.

“Jaxon what are you doing?!” Andy demanded latching onto his brother’s arm.

Maria crawled to her feet, rolledher shoulders, and gave a twirl of her sword; a challenge.

“Enough. Both of you.” Grey stepped between the two raging demigods. “Knock it off.”

“Step aside Grey.” Maria’s voice was full of authority, dripping with the power only a true leader could muster.

“Make me.” The eldest boy raised his chin in defiance.

“Sorry.” Maria gave him an apologetic look before charging at Jaxon and using her elbow to nudge Grey aside. Jaxon shoved Andy away, who stumbled back into the crowd of people.

Sol’s anger flared up and despite herself her arms ignited in bright orange fire. Jaxon made another strike but Sol deflected the blade and caught hold of the weapon. The blade sizzled before the gold began to melt.

Jaxon looked down in surprise before it dawned on him that Sol was ruining his father’s blade. He’d just gotten it back from Thia via Hermes’ messenger friends: wind nymphs. Now, Sol was melting the gold into a bubbling puddle. On instinct he reacted.

Sol was blasted back into Maria causing both girls to collapse on the ground. There was the sound of a painful snap and a cry of pain.

“What is the meaning of this?” The demand came from Chiron who had finally made his way to the commotion.

Jaxon looked with teary eyes at the ruined heirloom in his hand. He had grown up using the blade, dreamed of smiting enemies as dangerous as his father had. It was gone now. Ruined.

Grey knelt beside Sol and Maria. “Are you two alright?”

“Ugh, yeah.” Maria mumbled rubbing her head. She glanced over at Sol only to find the young girl crying and nursing her very broken wrist. “Oh Gods.”

She wasn’t the only one to notice the injury. Grey’s eyes widened and he moved to help her. Andy flew into a rage. He tackled his brother to the ground despite his smaller stature and let his fists fly.

“What is wrong with you? Huh?” His fists stung painfully. “You can’t hurt people like that!”

“Stop!” Jaxon held his arms up to protect his face. “Andy, stop!”

The younger boy was thrown off with a buck of Jaxon’s hips. Jaxon wrapped his arms around Andy holding him still.

“Get off of me!” Andy yelled, squirming violently.

The commotion ended only when each of the demigods was dragged to the infirmary.

— — —

“I have no idea what’s gotten into all of you but you need to figure it out.” Jason stood with his arms crossed looking at each of the kids who sat nursing injuries. Grey was the only one completely unscathed.

“You cannot go around trying to kill each other! That’s not okay!” Annabeth who had also been selected to give the lecture pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I didn’t do anything.” Andy protested.

“You pummeled your brother.” Jason glowered. Andy opened his mouth to reply but Jason held up a hand. “Andy Clay Grace, do not argue.”

“So what’s the punishment?” Grey asked glumly.

“You’re all staying here until you sort it out. No leaving or going home.” Jason determined.

“That’s not fair!” Maria cried.

“Some of you can go home, Grey, Sol. You are both allowed to leave.” Neither of them made a move. “Or you can stay here if you wish.”

“Figure it out.” Annabeth shrugged. “It’s that simple. There’s no unity in anything if infighting this bad exists.”

— — —

And so they were left there to solve their problems. Maria selected her own little corner of the infirmary and claimed it her own. Jaxon did the same.

“Let me see it.” Grey knelt in front of the bed Sol sat on and gently took her bandaged wrist. “It should heal relatively well, maybe a bit of physical therapy will be needed, and no forge for some time.”

“Your dad said all of that already.” Sol mumbled. Sniffling she wiped her nose on her sleeve.

“Well, I learned from the best.” Grey stood and ruffled her hair. “I’ll be back. I’m going to get cleaned up.”

“Was it wrong to punch him?” Sol startled at Andy’s remark. He’d been so quiet she had hardly noticed him there.

“Yeah.” Sol nodded. Andy’s head was bowed and his bottom lip began to tremble.

“I just got mad. I didn’t mean to hurt him that bad but-I don’t like him when he’s like this.” Andy hardly cried and so Sol was left with a brief moment of surprise. She wasn’t sure what to do. She’d never been the best at comforting someone.

“Hey, don’t cry.” Sol gave a light punch to his arm with her good hand. “People mess up.”

“Yeah, but a good brother doesn’t punch his sibling.” Andy sniffled.

“A good brother also doesn’t push his sibling.” Sol slung her arm around Andy’s shoulders. He didn’t say anything else after resting his head on her shoulder. She let him cry and pretended not to notice for his sake.

— — —

Jaxon sat staring at the deformed blade. He couldn’t believe it. He wanted to cry. With an angered grunt he chucked it across the room where it clattered to the floor. “Stupid.”

Maria glanced in his direction and felt a tiny amount of sympathy for him. She did know how much the weapon meant to him. “Your dad won’t be mad you know.”

“Yeah right.” Jaxon huffed.

“He’s not that big of an ass.” Maria noted dryly. The conversation ended quickly and the infirmary was bathed in a permanent silence. Slowly the demigods began to drift off to sleep and the silence would remain until the morning.

[warmau]

{Special} College!AU Jaehyun

major: visual arts / concentration: sculpture 

minor: n/a

sports: the star player and point guard for the uni’s basketball team 

clubs: wanted to join the art club but it conflicted with practice so his coach said he should drop it 

jaehyun is what you could call a campus celebrity, as in everyone always greets him and not only students ,,,,,,,but teachers too

all the faculty are always like jaehyun!!! you won us another trophy!!!! and jaehyun is like “well the whole te-” and they’re like cANT WaIT foR YOU TO TAKE US TO NATIONALS

and he’s just,,,,very humble about it because he doesn’t really know what to do with all the attention,,,,,and his friends (we are all looking at johnny) don’t let him live it down

and it’s /true/ his basketball scholarship is paying his full tuition and he loves the sport,,,,,,,,so he plays and practices with everything he’s got

but also,,,,,he’s got interests and hobbies 

and everyone on the team thinks he chose his “art major” because it’s “easy” and wont cut into practice 

because they’re all like jaehyun,,,,,you’re gonna get scouted and go pro right??????

but the reality is jaehyun,,,,,,jaehyun likes art. he likes looking at it, learning about it,,,,,,,,and making it 

yuta once pointed out that jaehyun’s hands are perfect for playing basketball they’re strong and big and can hold the ball really well while,,,,,,,ahem taeyong here with his bony little - jkjk

but jaehyun had agreed,,,,,his hands are nice,,,,,but they’re strong not only for basketball but because he likes to sculpt

just being in the studio,,,working with clay,,,,it calms him down but it also takes a lot of physicality that people overlook

and out of everyone it feels like only some of his friends get that his future isn’t just basketball basketball basketball,,,,,,

like mark and ten think it’s really cool and taeil always seems to cut the conversation when doyoung and johnny go off on tangents about how ~cool~ pro basketball jaehyun will be

but,,,,,,,,jaehyun knows he has responsibilities to the team,,,the school,,,,,and to keeping his scholarship 

also lets all take a moment to enjoy jaehyun in the basketball uniform,,,,sweaty,,,,towel around his neck

or even better,,,,,jaehyun after practice in a tank top,,,,,sweat pants,,,,,wet hair from the showers

ok ahem moving on

johnny does this thing where he yells JEFFREY at every game and jaehyun would flip him off if he wasnt such a sweet person LOL

keeps all the banners people make for him because he doesnt have the heart to throw them away or not accept them

and his roommate mark is like bro,,,,,,,,bro our closet is overflowing,,,brO

half the people in his art classes think he’s a joke and try to be high and mighty about how he’s just a jock,,,,,,,,,,but the other half are just heart eyes because wOW look at his muscles 

does the thing where he carries everything during studio or shop classes like literally carried about fifteen peoples projects,,,,then held the door open for people getting their huge portfolios or canvases through the door,,,,,got the wood for one person,,,,the clay blocks for another

he really cannot say no,,,,,,,its a problem jfldsgifdjlkfs

he comes back from class completely SPENT and mark is like,,,,,,,i didn’t know art involved so much,,,,,heavy lifting 

jaehyun with his face in the pillow: you dont even know mark,,,,,,you dont even know

wakes up super early to go running and do push ups on the field and everyone thinks he’s being super intense listening to some wild edm music getting pumped up but actually he’s listening to a podcast on alien abduction or something because hes always bringing it up like 

catch him sitting in sculpture II talking to his seatmate about the existence of extraterrestrial beings

and the person is just like ???????? and jaehyun is like “im telling you,,,,,they exist!!!!”

and then after he’s sitting next to ten and johnny telling them what happened and how his seatmate looked kinda scared and ten is like oh sweetheart,,,,,,,,,,,,,you probably gave the kid a heartattack

johnny just laughs his ass off so much he chokes on his rice 

he’s a silly boy,,,who is actually much more than his athleticism and he secretly wishes more people,,,,,,,would just accept him as a normal college student and not the ‘star player of the basketball team’

like he wants to join clubs!! meet people!! talk to teachers about upcoming exhibits,,,go to museums,,,,go on,,,,,,,,,,,,,,dates

but he also feels like he can’t let people down not when even winwin is asking him to sign his notebook because wow jaehyun is on a real winning roll for the team!!!!

sometimes when he gets super tired from practice and class he’ll start sleep talking to himself in english and he’ll do it like right in the library where he fell asleep on his books

doyoung even took a video of it and it became a meme on campus,,,,,,jaehyun was not happy and chased doyoung around the campus like ten times till taeil just took doyoungs phone and deleted it

doyoung: how did you get my password???

taeil: i knew your password was ilovetaeyong don’t play yourself

anYWAY  

you know jaehyun because he’s in your sculpting studio class and unlike most of the people there you don’t care that he’s a jock but you also don’t care about his good looks

mostly because,,,,,,,you care about your sculpture LOL not some dude in class who seems to be involved in so much gossip

the one thing you do care about and know,,,,,is that he’s got talent. you’ve been seeing him diligently work on this very pretty marble replica of strazza’s the veiled virgin

and it’s hard to make marble look like cloth,,,,,,but somehow he’s been pulling it off nicely

and whenever he isn’t in the studio,,,you couldn’t help yourself but go and take a closer work because really,,,,,,,,,did the basketball stare really do this>??

and one afternoon you happen to be working on your own piece while jaehyun is around and you know 

you exchange the pleasantry nods  and whatnot,,,but for the most part it’s quiet aside from the noise of your tools which is completely fine with you

until,,,,,,,,suddenly it’s anything but quiet

because the door has busted open and a couple of jaehyun’s rowdy teammates have strolled inside,,,,,,

and they’re like “coach said practice schedule is fucked up and we gotta be in the gym in ten minutes, let’s go jung”

and jaehyun is like ill be there but i need time to clean up-

“it’s just your art stuff, do it later and if its jacked just say it’s ‘abstract’”

you pretend to not listen,,,,but for some reason you can already feel something bad is going to happen

and just as you gaze over your shoulder you see one the dudes lean against the table,,,,,jaehyun’s almost done sculpture sitting dangerously close to the side

before you can think you open your mouth to say he should move it when,,,,,,,the dude turns to look at you and,,,,,,then you hear the sound

the sound,,,,,of broken marble

the shattered remains of jaehyun’s sculpture spread out on the floor of the studio in a sad,,,,big mess

and you can’t see that well across the room but jaehyun’s body has gone rigid and the group of loud boys have come to a hushed silence

you hear one of them swallow,,,another says they need to hurry to practice and that he’ll tell the coach jaehyun’s gonna be late

everyone leaves and you watch,,,wide eyed as jaehyun stares at the pile that was once all his hard work 

you think for a minute that,,,,,he’s going to get mad,,,,start screaming?? flailing his arms??? throwing things??? chasing that douche bag??

but jaehyun does nothing,,,,,he just drops to his knees and with his own hands starts to clean up

and you ,,,, can’t just watch anymore

you set down your own work and go over with a bag, crouching down next to jaehyun and helping him pick up the broken marble

startled he looks up,,,,and you can’t believe it when you see him try and force a smile 

“it’s ok, you don’t have to hel-”

“why didn’t you drag him back here? why didn’t you tell that asshole to go to hell? you at least deserved to do that.”

silently jaehyun stares at you,,,,before going back to cleaning with a small shrug

“it’s fine. i haven’t been working on this too long anyway.”

stopping you move some hair from your face and furrow your eyebrows

“what are you talking about, you’ve been working on this for weeks?”

jaehyun’s shoulders seem to drop,, his hands shaking over the remaining pieces and you hear him sigh

not understanding why he’s holding back so much you ask him again 

“why didn’t you tell him to go to-”

“because he’s on my team. the team,,,,,is more important right now.”

scoffing you push jaehyun’s hand away,,, for a second you think you’re being rude but at the same time you don’t know how to deal with that kind of logic

“if the team is important go to practice, i can take care of this. also ,,,,, is it jaehyun?”

jaehyun meets your eyes,,,suddenly sitting up straight and nodding and you shake your head

“don’t devalue your own work and talent. tell that guy, even if he is on your team that he should have some respect for what you do,,,,,,even if it isn’t baseball.”

“basketball.”

“what?”

“i,,,i play basketball”

“,,,,,,,,,,oh,,,,,,,wELL same thing. you should tell him off.”

laughing a little at yourself you make another comment that if jaehyun wants you can teach him some ‘choice’ words perfect for telling someone off but jaehyun refuses politely and says that he really cant make u clean all this up

but you shoo him away again and jaehyun,,,,stares at you for a moment

trying to remember,,,,,your name,,,,,,who you are,,,,,and when he says your name you look at him again and you’re like yes?

and he just fluster’s a bit and is like oh ,,, no i was just remembering it,,,im ,,im gonna go now

and you’re like ok? and he nearly trips over himself as he’s leaving but you just shrug it off and clean up and,,,,,really you cant believe it

murmuring to yourself about how if it had been your sculpture you would have lost your shit

but either way you find yourself going into the storage room,,,getting out a new block of marble and placing it on top of jaehyun’s work desk.

with a small note: ‘do it again, but this time dont keep it at the edge of the table’

at practice,,,jaehyun apologizes in front of the coach,,,,,and it all seems fine but also he cant,,,,,,concentrate

because every time he’s supposed to assist or pass the ball he can barely aim and everyone is like jaehyun???? Stop being so upset about the sculpture art is easy to pass, just make something half-assed c’mon

and jaehyun doesn’t say anything,,,,but it isn’t even the sculpture that has his brain in a fog,,,,,,,

it’s you

because ever since he started that class,,,,,he knew who you were,,,,but why didn’t he know anything else

and why ,,,,,,,,,,, was he so interested in knowing now

the next day,,,after coming to the studio you’d noticed that the marble was untouched ,,, which didn’t bother you but you’d hoped jaehyun would show up

and when he did,,,,,,,you were surprised to hear him call out to you

standing by the block of marble grinning,,,he pointed to it and is like “a gift from you?” and you just roll your eyes because,,,,,,,,,no it’s a gift from the school because does it look like you have money for marble

but jaehyun is still grinning 

and you’re like “get to sculpting” and he’s like ,,,,,,,,i will

it’s ,,,,, a comfortable silence again

just like usual,,,just the sound of tools and the small specks of sunlight coming through the windows

but this time,,,,,when you look over to see how jaehyun is doing,,,,,,you look at him hard at work

his strong hands working carefully and with detail ,,,, but you notice something else

his profile

soft hair,,,,long eyelashes,,,,an almost perfect nose,,,,and lips,,,,,parted in concentration with a small hint of his tongue sticking out as he sits back to study his progress

and you’re like @ yourself like w,,,,,,what the heck are you looking at go back to your own work

but it’s TOO late and you’ve been caught staring and jaehyun is like “it’s not much yet,,,,im kind of not sure what to make”

and you try to gather yourself and not make it look like you were totally just checking him out and you’re like 

“w-what about the veiled virgin or are you not gonna do that?” 

jaehyun scrunches up his nose (so cutely - wait what?) and goes “i want to do something ,,, original,,,,,,i kind of,,,,,well it’s embarrassing”

and you’re like ????? whats embarrassing

and jaehyun scratches the back of his neck and is like “i want to enter it in the monthly contest at the museum,,,,,,,,,,but i know im not good enough and i dont have the ti-”

you put up your hand and jaehyun is like ? and you’re like “that’s a great idea! you should do it, actually you’re going to do it. because you deserve it.”

jaehyun seem slightly confused and you tilt your head and are like “whats that look for?”

and he’s like n,,,nothing just no one has ever,,,,,encouraged me to do something art related it just,,,,,,feels different

you try to hold back a chuckle but you can’t and you’re like ,,,,, jaehyun,,,,,,,do what you want, you have talent so use it oh and also

jaehyun lifts his shy gaze to meet yours and you’re like

“also learn to tell people off seriously.”

and he’s like yOURE STILL ON THAT And you’re like YES I AM SERIOUSLY HOW DID YOU NOT YELL AT THAT DUDE I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM

jaehyun just sighs and is like you sound like johnny he always brings up dumb stuff from the past and ur like who is johnny and jaehyun brings his hands up and is like nothing nothing ill get back to work

and ,,,,, it’s like that for a while,,,,,,,,,,,

sometimes you and jaehyun are the only two in the room working,,,,,sometimes it’s more people ,,,,,,,, 

but somehow,,,,,there’s something between you now maybe like an untold secret???? 

the fact that he hasnt told anyone else kind of makes you feel a bit special,,,but you also cant help but think,,,,,whats it like to have no one support you for that long

sure people are jaehyun’s basketball fans and whatnot but,,,,,does anyone tell him,,,,,,,basketball isn’t all he has to do,,,,,that art is a choice too

and you can’t believe it. you’re having sentimental thoughts about some BOY you’re not even that close with 

like UGH WHAT THE HECK 

you bang your head against your laptop keyboard and your friend is like dude hello u ok??? and ur like i gtg ,,,, work on my sculpture and she’s like it’s ten pm- and ur like its fine i know where the spare is 

and so you head over to the studio,,,,,,it’s dark in the hallway but you can see the lights are from under the crack in the door

and when you put your hand on the knob,,,the door opens easily

and you see jaehyun,,,,hunched over the marble,,,,,,and you can see that it’s the mold of someones face

but there doesn’t seem to be much detail in it yet and jaehyun finally notices you and smiles and he’s like “are you here to work?”

and you nod,,,,,coming over and looking at his sculpture before you can’t help it and go “whose it going to be?”

jaehyun sits back,,,,chewing on his bottom lip and going “i don’t know,,,,,”

you sigh and remind him that if he wants to enter it,,,he’s going to have to submit it to the museum by the end of the week and jaehyun is like i know i know

but then,,,,,as you’re both sitting in silence again,,,,,,jaehyun turns around and asks “are you hungry?”

and it’s,,,,nearing midnight but,,,,,,,a snack couldn’t hurt

and to your surprise jaehyun pulls out peaches and bread from his back and you’re like ??? do you just carry those around

and he’s like “yeah i also have protein bars in here, instant ramen - do you want ramen?”

and you’re like,,,,,i???? it’s ok ill take a peach

before you know it,,,,,your work has been abandoned and you and jaehyun are sitting across from each other talking about this and that

till he says something about practice tomorrow at 8 am and you realize it’s past 2 am now

and you both have to gather your things and sneak back to your dorms and jaehyun ,,,, before you leave

says that he’s thankful that sculpture of his was broken and you raise an eyebrow and he jsut smiles and is like “if it hadn’t broken,,,,,we wouldn’t have go to hang out like this.”

and you’re like o,,,h,,,,,,,,,,and god dammit why does jaehyun make your cool, aloof personality crumble

but he waves and is gone before you can blush in front of him and embarrass yourself

,,,,,,and it’s like,,,,,,,,,now it isn’t just two art students in a class together,,,,,,it’s friends

finally the last day of the week comes and you’re in the studio,,,looking at jaehyun whose covered his sculpture with a towel and you’re like ,,,,,,,jaehyun show it to me

and he’s just giving you a sly smile and is like you’ll see it at the museum

and you’re like ,,,,,,,,heY where would you be if i didn’t encourage you now show me-

but before you can finish your argument the door opens again and jaehyun’s basketball teammates appear again 

out of precaution jaehyun moves his sculpture to the table behind him and you give most of them an unamused look as they start touching this and that

jaehyun asks whats up and one of the guys is like “c’mon, coach wants us to have a big meeting about strategy for next week.” 

you look at jaehyun and then at the sculpture

“jaehyun has to come with me to the museum, tell the coach he’ll be there later.”

jaehyun turns to look at you,,,,,whose speaking with your hands crossed over your chest

the teammates just laugh and are like “and you are?”

and you’re like “jaehyun’s classmate. we’re submitting our sculptures to the museum. the deadlines in an hour so,,,,,,,he’ll be there later.”

the laughter stops and one of the teammates steps toward you

standings tall,,,,,,obviously since he’s also a basketball player,,,,,you don’t let it intimidate you but at the same time you realize that there’s four more people,,,,,,,four more people who dont want jaehyun to go with you

“i don’t think i remember jaehyun saying anything about that. so,,,,,he’ll be going with us.”

you frown and open your mouth but suddenly jaehyun steps in front of you and lets one hand rest on your wrist

and he’s like “guys, ill go with you. no big deal.”

turning to you,,,,jaehyun mouths for you to let it go but you can’t,,,,because again,,,,,,basketball is in the way of something else he loves

and you’re like “no you won’t, jaehyun you need to submit the sculpture in person -”

jaehyun just smiles,,,but you can see the sadness in his eyes and he says its fine, there’s next month.

with that,,,you watch him follow his teammates out and you’re left alone,,,,,jaehyun’s hidden sculpture on the table beside you

,,,,,,,,,,,,then you realize,,,,,,,,you can do it.

you can submit it for him

and carefully, you take the art into your arms and make way for the museum because there isn’t anyway you’re going to let jaehyun’s talent go to waste this time

and when you do get there,,,the woman accepting them asks for your name and you go “jung jaehyun” and she scribbles it down and asks what the name of the sculpture is

and you’re like,,,,,,,,,well you don’t even know because you didn’t even have the time to LOOK at it

so you kind of panic and blurt out ‘the one’,,,,,,thinking it is his first sculpture,,,,,and it is a person,,,,,,,,,so maybe its someone special?????

the woman waves her hand and says you may go

and with a beating heart you leave the museum and on the train back to school you think,,,,,,why didn’t you look at the sculpture?? were you scared,,,,,were you????? jealous of who it could be??

shaking off the idea you think that what matters now is if he wins or not

,,,,,,,,,and like clockwork the results come out and eagerly you visit the museums website and,,,,,,,,,,,

the winner,,,,,,jung jaehyun’s,,,,,,sculpture,,,,,,’the one’ 

and looking at the photo you almost drop out of your chair because the sculpture,,,,,,,,,,,the sculpture looks like you

and with no time to waste you dash out of your dorm,,,headed straight to the gym where you didn’t realize that there is going to be a game tonight

and the place is packed with students even though it doesnt start for another hour and you fight through the crowds on the bleachers

managing to get up to the court and jaehyun,,,,,whose doing stretches notices you

because well,,,,,,,out of excitement you literally run ONTO the court 

and the ref and coach are yelling at you to stop but you don’t hear them and jaehyun is like “what are you-”

and you run right into his arms and you’re like “jAEHYUN YOU WON!! YOUR SCULPTURE IS IN THE MUSEUM”

and jaehyun is frozen,,,,,,the entire gym staring at you two and an uproar of whispers about how one jaehyun is,,,,,,an art major???? two,,,,,jaehyun is dating,,,,,,,you????? i mean you are in his arms?????? you did run acROSS THE COURT to see him????/

pulling back you look at jaehyun,,,,who seems to still be processing what you’ve said and he’s like h-how i didn’t submit it? and ur like i went,,,,i put it in and i,,,,,,,,i didn’t look at it but then i saw it on the website and jaehyun,,,,,,,,,,jaehyun was it me?

turning cherry red,,jaehyun stutters over his answer but it’s obviously a yes and you grin and jaehyun is like “you inspired me,,,,,,i mean you were the only one to say,,,,,,i deserved it.”

and your smile grows wider and you’re like you do,,,,jaehyun look you did it,,,,because you’re talented and i -

without knowing how to put it into words you lean in and jaehyun reflexively puts his hands on either side of your face to pull you closer and it’s a kiss

right there in front of the whole gym

(which you later realize and get vERY embarrassed about)

but in the moment it’s perfect and,,,,,,,,,when you pull back you’re like 

“oh one more thing before i go because your coach looks like he might murder me -”

and jaehyun is like yes?? and you look around and find the dude who had broken jaehyun’s sculpture and you yell out his number and ur like “yeah you number 5,,,,,,,,,,,,this is me telling you off because jaehyun is too nice: GO TO HELL’ ok bye now”

and with that you dash off the court before the coach can chase you and jaehyun is standing there,,,,,lovestruck but also shocked

and the team is like what the hell jaehyun and he just shrugs because honestly,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you’re wild and he,,,,,,

he freaking loves it

 you do get banned from games for a while,,,,,but its worth it

you hear that jaehyun won the game the next morning,,,mostly because you wake up to find all your friends standing over you demanding to know why the mvp of the uni basketball team just said in his winning interview that his significant other,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,YOU,,,,,,,,,,,really inspired him tonight

and you’re like ,,,,me/?? jaehyun??? my??? boyfriend??? and they’re like YEAH EXPLAIN

but you dont even know what to say because everything is kind of a blur and did kissing jaehyun in front of the whole student body mean you were now dating??? who knows

well jaehyun knows so thats why you go to find him

and you do,,,, he’s doing another run on the uni’s track field and when he spots you he smiles and comes over and you’re like heY,,,,,,,,,so,,,,,,,,

and he’s like “i,,,,,,hope you,,,,,,,,,didnt mind me calling you my,,,,,,,,,,,s-s-s-s-”

“signigicant other?”

“,,,y,,,yes”

you kind of pretend to make a face and think about it,,,,rocking back and forth on your heels and you’re like hMMM well,,,,,,,

and jaehyun’s eyes turn into puppy eyes and he’s oh,,,no did i make you mad-

and you just lean up and kiss his cheek and you’re like nah, i like this straightforward jaehyun much more so,,,,,,,be like this more 

jaehyun blushing: than can i be honest

you: sure

jaehyun: ,,,,,,,did you like the sculpture?

you: i loved it. also,,,,i never knew someone could make me look so pretty

jaehyun: you’re stunning

you, blushing and trying to hide it behind your hands: ok,,,tOO straightforward

jaehyun throws his arm around you and you guys get off the track field and it’s,,,,cute because you’re walking across campus like an ACTUAL couple and okay,,,,this is,,,,,,something you could get used to

but yes dating jaehyun is like dating the sweetest boy who ever lived and ,,,,,,,,,,,wow do his friends really not let anyTHING go

you finally meet johnny and the first thing he says is “so,,,,,we gonna get a repeat of that basketball court smooch OH and dont forget the part where you told the dude to go to hell” and you’re like oh my god jaehyun you compared me tO HIM

and jaehyun is like oh,,,,,,,you know what i am sorry about that john here is special

john: excuse me,,,,,,jeffery

you: jeffery? 

jaehyun: if it were not for the fact that im a soft angelic person i would have kill-

but the rest of nct all really like you because,,,,,,basically you help jaehyun out of his shell,,,,,,

taeil and ten especially because wow they havent ever seen jaehyun so open and happy to talk about art???? like they’ve known about his passion but,,,,,you’ve let him explore

also oh my god you can really shut johnny up ,,,, but it even works on doyoung???? like one look and walla,,,,,,,,they’re convinced you have magic powers

but in reality it’s because you gave doyoung a noogie and made him apologize for asking jaehyun if he could make a sculpture of taeyong’s face

jaehyun is the kind of boyfriend that becomes more comfortable with time,,,,which you don’t mind because taking it slow isn’t bad

like if holding hands is all he wants to do in public than of course you’ll respect that

but also when you steal kisses every now and then while he’s studying or sketching you can liteRALLY feel his face heat up 

and you’re like how are you so handsome and yet so,,,,,easily flustered???? and jaehyun is like,,,,i ,,,,,,,,u,,,,,,kiss,,,,,,,,a,,,h,,, i need some water

he has a packed schedule between practice and spending more time on his art and you can tell when he hasn’t gotten any rest because he starts getting bags under his eyes and doesnt smile

and even though it’s kind of attractive,,,,you hate seeing him like that so you’ll literally sit in front of him and feed him lunch and be like “go to sleep on time, idc if the guys want to hang out after practice do you want to pass out tomorrow in class? no? exactly.”

someone once said you were a bossy s/o and u were like excuse m- but jaehyun just went ‘i would die without them so politely, leave us alone.’ 

but even with all your worry,,,, jaehyun has also taught you to be a bit softer

because yeah you always want to tell off his mean teammates or his over pressuring coach but jaehyun reminds you that sometimes in life you need to girt your teeth and take it

the amount of times he’s just pulled you into his arms when you’re fuming to calm you down,,,,,,,,you’ve lost count 

does the thing where he nuzzles his nose into the top of your hair and you can feel him grip onto you a little tighter

and you realize that even though he’s strong, handsome, and smart,,,,,,even people so perfect need comfort and closeness 

jaehyun let’s you wear his clothes but not without him denying that it’s his clothes is someone asks even though doyoung is like i literally gave you that hoodie like a year ago for christmas and jaehyun is like,,,,,,,,,,,i,,,,,,,,,,um

and you’re like yeah its his we just spent an hour cuddling in his bed so i wanted to wear i-

jaehyun laughing really loud over you like hAHAHA we nEED To go bYE dOYOUNG

it’s hard now to work in the same room on your art because you and jaehyun get distracted and its like u can go maybe an hour before one or the other comes over and you guys start talking and its just,,,,,,

heart eyes @ each other from then on out 

whenever he smiles and the dimples come out you literally are like let me take a photo and jaehyun is like but u have 394302 photos of me smiling,,,,and ur like i can never have enough i love dimple

whenever you want to go on dates,,, jaehyun always suggests something outdoorsy and active and sometimes you forget that jaehyun is Good At All the Sports

and it’s like dating an olympic athlete,,,,,,you cannot keep up most of the time,,,,,,,

but its fine because jaehyun,,,even though he’s trying to run up this mountain,,,,,will contain himself just for you ildjsfg

gets corny when he sees kids and is like “a family,,,,,,in the future would be so nice,,,,,,,,” and you’re like “you’re smiling like a dad jaehyun” and he’s like oOPS,,,,,,,,but it’s,,,,,,,,,it’s cute 

you can see that he’s so gentle and caring with everyone he meets you can’t help but be like,,,,,,,,he is,,,,,,going to be a great parent some day

you didnt believe he could cook well too when ten told you about jaehyun��s secret delicious ramen

but then you guys were making some,,,jaehyun standing at the stove,,,,and you sitting on the kitchen counter and when he’d feed you you were like hOLY SHIT THIS IS AMAZING 

and jaehyun just laughed and u were just like jaehyun tell me baby are you a robot because you’re good at everything

and he was shy but he was like no im real here ill prove it,,,,,,he kissed you and u were like ur right robots can’t do that with their tong-

jaehyun: AnYWAY

you once stayed at his dorm for a date and when jaehyun picked beauty and the beast you kinda teased him a bit ,,, but also ended up cuddled up together crying about the beast’s backstory

and then making out for like an hour because it’s hard not to when jaehyun just wears sweats ,,,,,,and your shirt is really loose,,,,,,,,, and jaehyun is good at kissing,,,,,,,,,,,,very good,,,,,,,,,,,,, and -

but mark came back pretty early and you guys had to pretend you were just playing cards instead

mark: i didnt know your hair could be so messy playing cards. huh

you and jaehyun sweating like uH,,,,,

you’d managed to sneak into one of his games but unfortunately instead of staying quiet you’d basically yelled for jaehyun to CRUSH the other team and the coach had to chase you out again

but you waited outside of the gym and instead of kissing the trophy and celebrating jaehyun had ran straight outside to you and honestly,,,,,,,,,what could the coach do about that? LOL

jaehyun jokingly challenging you to some basketball but since he wouldn’t let you score you were like fine i wont kiss u for a whole week

and jaehyun basically begged for you to not be mad and u just couldn’t resist

like have you seen jaehyun’s big,,,brown eyes????

you’d caved and just started kissing his face all over and jaehyun just grinning and hold you around the waist and ,,,,,,,,,basically you two being super duper cute

someone complimenting jaehyun’s artwork: you smugly going that’s my boyfriend and yes he’s amazing and did i mention that he’s taken,,,,i love him

jaehyun blushing but also loving the fact that you love him so openly and unapologetically 

and wow let me mention this one last time: jaehyun in a basketball uniform but also,,,,,,,,,,jaehyun concentrating hard on a sculpture with a low cut shirt and big hands covered in clay,,,,,,,,like ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,yall

doyoung | taeyong | yuta | bangtan | vixx | monsta x | got7 + kard + amber | seventeen | 

[icharchivist]

Ayy saw friendos today again, we watched a bit more hxh, from ep 118 to 127 - we had to stop this one in the middle tho djkhfkhjfd

So so far, we watched more of the Attack on The Castle stuff, up to Netero’s blowing up.

So as usual, A. = Her, T. = Him

-As Brovoda shoots Ikalgo A: “NOT THE OCTOPUS” T: *to me* “If i learn you lied to us about the survival of the octopus istg I will cook you into an octopus sushi for lying to us”

-T: “I’m not even on tumblr and yet im gonna be known as the Octopus lover”

-T. kept making bad french puns about Ikalgo and the fact he’s an octopus (poulple in french, which lead to him saying Poulpe Fiction)

-T finds Knuckle’s technique as adorable as annoying. When Youpi fakes being angry against it, he said “I wouldn’t have to fake it tbh”. he also said Knuckle could copyright the cute yet annoying concept

-As Knuckle is having his life flashing in front of his eyes before hitting Youpi for Shoot: T: “That’s not the time to fall in love Knuckle”

-As Knuckle says he’ll die, A: “OH NO”

-At Killua coming to save him, A and T were speechless, A’s mouth opened wide with a smile before saying “THAT’S some good stuff!”

-A: “He’s been going through a hard time - No luck, Youpi he’ll put it all on you.”

-A: “Killua, it’s when he’s calm that you have to worry. the issue is that he’s mostly calm, also when he’s angry.”

-A, as Killua covers himself in electricity: “oH I SAW THIS GIF A LOT ON YOUR BLOG”

-They are amazed by Killua’s power, they find it cool af. but i love A’s : “And then they say Kurapika is op???”. i love my friends :’D

-they yelled “oh no” when Shoot’s technique disappeared out of Youpi, thinking he’s dead

-T. squeeed at the way Ikalgo walked ahah

-T. is threatening Brodova by telling ways to cook him, I’m concerned

-As Ikalgo is in trouble, A: “you didn’t lie to us right??? nothing will happen to the octopus?? i don’t care about the others”  Me: “you yelled when Shoot and Knuckle almost died” T: “Sure but it’s okay if they die if octopus survives” A: “i mean I’ll survive people dying. just not him. please”

-T: “[Brodova] doesnt have a face so his acting must come from his antena”

-As Ikalgo cry because he’s too weak to kill someone, T: “noo he’s so pure! It’s not a weakness to not kill someone, it shows humanity. or octopusity.”

-Morel: “could Pouf be tricking me?” A:“I’m always expecting the worst of shaiapouf”

-As Knuckle discovered Shoot disappeared, A. facepalmed

-As Pouf divided himself in multiple mini-him: A: “it’s a nightmare. It must be one. that’s the creepiest power yet”

-The violin keeps playing and it’s inspired by Vivaldi. T: “it’s a shame. i liked Vivaldi. but that was before. or well it’s not really Vivaldi or else i would have destroyed that butterfly.”

-About Pouf, A: “CAN SOMEONE BREAK HIS TEETH ONCE AND FOR ALL” T: “Go crash yourself on a Car’s glass like the fucking butterfly you are”

-About Hina, T: “Aww she’s cute” A: *shakes her head*, T: “Not cute?”

-As Pouf devides himself again: A: “as if one wasn’t annoying enough.”

-Still about Pouf, A: “Kill me if you want but never play violon again”

-They were so glad Knov saved Shoot ahh

-We reached the mistranslation about Killua saying he wanted to die for Gon. when i explained it, A said “so it’s completely canon”

-A: “There’s a lot of word to describe Gon, but “under control” isn’t one of them”

-Gon at Pouf: “Shut up” T: “you’re asking a lot. next you’ll ask his violin, it’s all of his personality”

-When Knuckle released his technique to protect Morel, A. remained with her mouth wide opened in shock when T. said “the fuck”

-they are so hype about the Netero v Meruem fight.

-A: “Netero fucking fight with socks and no shoes”

-T: “We got this far for a ted talk?”

-T as Netero starts using his powers: “It’s so good so pretty! so nice to see omg”

-they yelled when Netero told the King “do you want to know your name?”

-We always skip the opening but T. started dancing on it

-Also he tried to prononce what Potclin keeps saying, adding “me, checking my bank account”

-As Ikalgo gets attacked, they’re worried aldhdk. when he said “I’m not dead!” T. said “Me after writting law essays”

-When Palm comes back in the story: A: “i don’t know who she is but i want her lipstick”

-As Palm arrives, T: “new look for a new life”

-As Killua realizes something is wrong with Palm: T: “I’m just gonna say, he thought about how it would affect Gon first. just saying. it’s sad for her because he doesn’t care for her but… ye”

-A: “you think too much Killua. I’m that close to say that it’s because you think it’s better than handling your emotions”

-As Palm and Killua start talking, A: “She seems calmer…” T: “dunno… I’m scared there’s no music”

-Palm: “No point in keeping those emotions inside or resisting them…” A: “you should listen to her Killua” Palm: “It includes killing you!” A: “...Until that point”

-A: “oh great we needed another problem”

-A: “Palm looks like she’s out of Coraline”

-As Killua broke down, they both were really quiet. A. eventually said : “let it all out Killua” with softness. they both seemed quite sad about Killua’s state

-As Pouf says he wants to rule alone with the King, A: “how many people are doing their coming out this arc?! like, Killua we knew for a while but now it’s canon, but between Knuckle and Pouf now…”

-A., seeing all of that, is curious to see where Leorio and Kurapika’s relationship could go on considering where Killua and Gon’s relationship, and probably from the fact I ship them and they know it. I had to tell them that While I ship them, they have far less content and far less obvious material and that it was up to interpretation, even if to me, they have a relationship i have more interests into. but ye, less material. to which A. replied “at the same time Killua and Gon are completely canon. the only way it would be more canon would be with a kiss and even that we got one! so less content doesnt mean much” it made me laugh, but ye, still told them this is far less obvious and up to interpretation. rip.

-As Pitou is begging for Gon to not be mad at Pouf, A: “she’s making her case worse”

-As Gon restrict Pitou’s time after the Pouf’s incident, showing he’s in controle of the condition regardless of what the enemies would try: A: “It reminds me of a certain person who puts his conditions before anything the enemy has to say. to the point of hanging off the phone.”  i love my friends alhdkd

-A: “Gon lookd like Killua when Killua is about to do something that implies something bad for someone…. like killing…”

-A:“With the two kids being emotionally unstable, i feel like the others hunters are just trying to handle bombs that are about to explode…”

-A. is getting some pleasure to see The King being beaten up ahah

-They find Netero’s technique too amazing. A. wonders whats the point in putting so much nen in the earpierces

-As Netero’s theme starts playing: A: “Did they summon Chrollo for the chorus”

-Apparently this theme is inspired by the requiem of Vivaldi. My friends are amazing and i love them for noticing those stuff.

-They laughed and put hands on their faces at Netero’s heartshape

-T. says his fav characters are Ikalgo, Netero and Nobunaga.

-after the fight, the King still asks for his name. T.: “it’s Asshole. Piss of a Cow”

-They… were speechless suring the explosion. like “whaat”

-A: “I have a question. How are people still alive in this universe?”

That’s about it? About all I noted at least dkjfhdkf a few things were very french jokes rip. Also some IRL stuff were happening so dkfhkjdhf

But ye :D It was a tons of fun!

Next time we should get done with that arc.... :D Hype.

[comicteaparty]

March 21st, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on March 21st, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on Asteroid 8082 by Will Quinn.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Asteroid 8082 by Will Quinn~! (https://asteroid8082.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

my favorite scene is probably at the beginning when corrina is getting a tour of the colony. i really love the design for the colony and how theres just like this conveyor belt that goes through the whole place. for the life of me i never wouldve thought of a design like that but it works so well in making it feel familiar, foreign, and futuristic

but i also like the door designs you see as they pass by because it still has that mark of needing to be kind of a sterile and effecient environment

but all around i really enjoyed how quickly and simply it built up the world in the background and really kind of drove home how corrina is in an entirely new situation

Knytt

Hmm, that's good to hear. I was worried about the sterility being too much

i mean, I'm used to drawing outdoor environments, so it was a challenge

Oh! I'm Will Quinn, by the way!

...

sorry, I forgot that wasn't clear on Discord.

RebelVampire

thank you for coming~! its nice to see a creator come by.

Knytt

well, I usually lurk around here

...but rarely comment

thank you for having me!

RebelVampire

another scene that i really enjoyed was the one where theyre kind of bantering over the hoverbike and corrina accepts the challenge and is like "nah i can drive." that was the moment where i truly felt that corrina was indeed a kid since she was trying so hard to look cool. but it was also a nice moment of vulnerability too in that way. like showing that you can be as mature as you want, but that doesnt mean peer pressure isnt there

Knytt

Yeah. Corrina really does try to act cool

And before that scene I guess she succeeded

RebelVampire

idk if she succeeded so much as a lot of scenes her uncoolness felt like it came from a different place of insecurity. like not so much peer pressure, but more from being alien to a new place and being insecure in her own adjustment

Knytt

Hmm, that actually reminds me of something.

When my spouse was reading the comic, she saw Corrina as the main character.

But my original idea was that Iris was (my spouse is an immigrant)

So I've always been curious about how people saw that

RebelVampire

i personally saw corrina more as the protagonist myself. not that iris wasnt a main character. but corrina felt more like the main of the main characters. but this is inherent bias that between the two, corrina was introduced first.

Knytt

I see!

Thank you

I should mention that chapter 3 was originally supposed to be the first chapter

RebelVampire

hmm, interesting. that def would have changed things then cause itd have been a lot more even.

but it is pretty even between the two as is. i just connected a bit more with corrina. i think it also has a lot to do that corrina feels like the more grounded character between the two. Iris as been on the asteroid for years upon years so none of the culture stuff feels weird to her or anything. Whereas Corrina is like "yup this is weird." and as an earthling who doesnt live on an asteroid, that is basically how you feel seeing everything. so corrina provides a really needed grounding influence for that reason. its a lot easier to understand how she feels in regards to the world and shes easier to sympathize with from the immediate start cause its kind of a fish out of water intro.

mathtans

Made it here. I rather liked the "no use of ozzes", just as one-off comedy.

Also the conversation near the start of "you live in one building?" "oh no, no... three".

Checking the backlog now. Yeah, the conveyer belt was a neat idea too. There's a lot of interesting science happening behind the scenes that comes out every so often, which is pretty neat.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. The comic’s setting is quite futuristic and different from Earth, causing a number of culture clashes for the characters. What ways of life on the asteroid interested you the most? What sorts of details did you notice in general in how the colony was culturally and physically structured? Of the culture clashes that occurred between the characters, which one did you find the most compelling and why? Which culture similarities did you notice remained between Earth and the asteroid colony? Why do you think those cultural elements and traditions stood the test of time? Last but not least, how similar or different do you feel other colonies would be?

hey math~!

i did enjoy that joke as well about the nah we live in three buildings

like that was supposed to be marketably better XD

mathtans

I think I see Corrina as the main, in large part because we see her arrive as the outsider. Outsiders are generally mains in stories, because stuff needs to get explained to them the way it needs to get explained to readers.

Also, she's from Earth, and so are we.

Hi Rebel & creator!

Knytt

Hi!

mathtans

One of the things that I found kind of interesting was the whole planet/asteroid loophole issue. Hadn't thought about how governing would work in that sense.

But there were also subtle details, like the colour of the sky on Earth.

RebelVampire

yeah i was really interested in the politics. especially cause they briefly mentioned a war and like...man. space wars already. thats a pretty heavy thing to admit in passing.

but it was interesting to see that there is some complicated governance stuff going on cause i feel thats reflective of how itd probably be in life

mathtans

I'm not sure I even picked up on the war aspect. It was more the trying to get rights and using ships as bargaining points.

It makes sense but I doubt I'd have thought of something like that.

Knytt

I'm glad someone liked these science/future bits, because I definitely spent a lot of time planning them! (compared to how often they come up, of course.)

And Math, there was a war mentioned briefly

mathtans

Yeah, that's always the lament of worldbuilding, you do all this stuff and then it never really comes up. The short strip about the gravity thing in between parts was a good way to do it though.

Oh, I don't doubt it, just mean it kinda sailed over my head.

Knytt

Actually, Iris's father was closely involved in the war, btw

RebelVampire

thats fair cause when i said it was mentioned in passing, i really mean it was mentioned in passing. but it was bad enough to cause some long lasting political effects for even their asteroid. and considering their asteroid is kind of out there, you can only imagine the effects it had on bigger colonies.

that is an interesting factoid

mathtans

Iris' father does seem the type

Knytt

I made an upcoming short comic where Corrina talks more about it

The war, I mean...

But it'll be in a printed anthology

mathtans

I wonder if the spacers know about trees and plants and stuff.

Though that reminds me of another interesting aspect, that whole idea of "wearing the clothes of another culture". And Iris is like, wear whatever.

RebelVampire

yeah i really liked how thinking of things like "oh that person is japanese" is considered archaic by iris

cause it opens up the question of at what point in someones heritage do they stop being one nationality and become another

and i liked seeing how that question had evolved in regards to space travel in the comic

cause space travel comes with a lot of huge punches in that arena

mathtans

Yeah, it's sort of a planet culture rather than a country culture.

But an asteroid isn't even big enough for a planet culture, so it's more of a mixed bag.

RebelVampire

yeah, but still i think the point stands. in that the comic really makes you think about what constitutes a culture and how a countries culture may no longer matter in the future. it may come to be entirely about each particular communities culture.

speaking of culture, i really liked the bit with corrina and iris arguing about child labor laws. i thought that was such an interesting piece of culture. but also sensible because generally a colony would need everyone pitching in to survive so it makes sense iris would help. not to mention i cant imagine theres much for a kid to do on an asteroid. yet, i also understand corrina's point. so it was just an interesting argument where both sides had some fantastic points even though nothing was solved.

mathtans

Community, that's a good way of putting it. And yeah, nice to have those grey debates where neither side is necessarily right.

Also, the way Iris summed it up later as "she concluded she was smarter than me" (or whatever it was) felt true to the age (whether it really is I dunno, but it felt that way).

Knytt

When I was writing a lot of these scenes, I was worried people would take it the wrong way, politically. I was trying to have sort of "grey" debates like you said, and I'm glad that came through

RebelVampire

yeah i think the comic did a great job of being more thought provoking than anything when it came to these sorts of areas. cause theres a lot to dissect.

like another moment i really enjoyed was how even though the asteroid is seemingly very disconnected from a lot of earth culture, everyone was still super stoked to watch some sports. so it was interesting to see how even when separated, older cultural phenomenons still kind of continue to be present. not to mention theres lots of one culture affecting another, even though its earth culture affecting colony culture in this case.

mathtans

That reminds me, the asteroid was always seemingly having internet troubles, yet the door to the food station room said "free wifi". I found that funny.

Knytt

Oh, that's right!

mathtans

It was also a bit amusing that when they finally got to watching the sports game, there was almost more interest in the field and the spectators.

RebelVampire

tbf wifi and internet are separate entities. you can have wifi without the internet. so not false advertising, just a useless service.

mathtans

Indeed!

I figure they bought the door surplus. One of those items they were paid money to take off someone's hands.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Though filled with lots to say about culture, the story also has a strong focus on character. For what reasons do you feel Corrina and Iris struggled with their relationship initially? Between the two, which one did you identify with more in regards to their feelings? By the end, did you feel the two characters truly overcame their issues with one another? Or, did you feel that there would still be many moments of strife between the two? Equally so, between all three children characters, how do you think their perceptions of each other changed over the course of the story? Finally, which character did you enjoy the most overall and why?

mathtans

I will say that as soon as Corrina confused Iris for a boy, I was shipping them. Or a future them in a few years, at any rate. Gotta get my ships in there.

Though I think wondering if Iris was a "fanboy" was almost the greater faux pas. With the implication of Corrina's popularity in there.

As to which character I enjoyed more... that's tough. It really kind of depends. I think maybe overall I prefer Iris, but she does go a bit too far sometimes - or in the case of giving up on fruitcake, maybe not far enough - and in those cases I'm more for Corrina.

Knytt

Heh, if I ship them too, is that canon?? I definitely identify with Iris more, but I like Corrina better I think

RebelVampire

i think i overall identified more with corrina more just because i felt corrina was trying hard at least to make friends while looking cool. whereas iris was just a grumpy bear of insecurity. so between the two corrina felt more sympathetic. not to say corrina was perfect cause that whole "fanboy" thing made me think "girl turn it down a notch we get it youre very cool"

Knytt

Yea, both of them need to take it down a notch...

RebelVampire

but tbf, i think the reason that they struggled with their relationship is that theyre super similar. cause they both seem to be insecure and have a desperate need to appear cool to each other. but because theyre trying to achieve the same thing, they both come off kind of pompous and butt heads. cause even though they have the same goal, they each handle it super differently. cause corrina is focused on kind of raising herself up to appear cool whereas iris feels like she wants to just not be looked down on.

Knytt

I worked as a teacher before doing this, so I tried to make them seem like the kids I taught

in terms of their insecurities

mathtans

Heh, canon ship is now in. Yeah, Corrina's more sympathetic, but I kind of like how Iris is outspoken at times, like even speaking up about politics and things.

I teach high school, so I kind of know the feeling.

Meanwhile the guy is just basically clueless to all that.

Superjustinbros

Hello!

I hope I'm not too kate~

RebelVampire

hey super~!

yeah i agree, between the two i felt iris was perhaps more worldly and that while she might know all the tech stuff corrina does, shes way more versed in like social and political situations than corrina

Superjustinbros

...Wow I'm amazed at how much progress this comic made in only about almost a year of production.

And it finds a way to work in monochrome as well

mathtans

I'm with the commenter on that one strip by the way, where Joe was saying to Iris "Corinna's the only cute girl out here", I'd have kicked him.

RebelVampire

i really do think the black and white suits the world too. makes it feel more space like.

i was super surprised joe got away with that XD

mathtans

Yeah, that's a good point, what with space being black.

RebelVampire

not that i dont understand where joe is coming from. not that iris isnt cute, but iris is also his bestie so automatically not available or even on the consideration block.

Superjustinbros

“i really do think the black and white suits the world too. makes it feel more space like.”

I second that- makes me wonder what will happen if the main cast ever lands on a regular planet- will the story suddenly shift to color?

mathtans

Oh yeah, I get it, guy be clueless because he grew up around her. I suppose I shouldn't complain, he'd spoil the Iris/Corinna ship.

Knytt

I'm not sure I'd be good at drawing Luna or Mars...

There's a short comic about Corrina on Earth though

(also black and white)

Superjustinbros

oh lol I didn't realize the creators were here, heh.

Knytt

Hiya!

Superjustinbros

Well I think the black and white works regardless

Hiya!

There's a good usage of clever shading to show depth

mathtans

I kinda wonder what it is they study out there. Aside from each other.

Superjustinbros

(also I'm in love with the simple character designs and the bead eyes, they fit the style of the comic)

RebelVampire

yeah i was wondering that too. especially in regards to what corrina did to get labeled a genius and made an intern despite her age.

Knytt

Corrina's main area of study is physics

specifically "gravity manipulation", a relatively new field that Iris's father helped develop

Superjustinbros

Sorry if I'm not focusing on the questions atm, I'm kind of stuck in conversations in other chats.

mathtans

So she understands the gravity of the situation.

Superjustinbros

"gravity", heh.

Knytt

slow claps

RebelVampire

yes, so im sure shell stay grounded in her studies

mathtans

I suppose gravity's lighter on an asteroid, must make things easier to monitor for fluctuations.

RebelVampire

this reminds me that one moment i found really funny was when they were fixing the tower and then the thing they used to fix it was a fraction of the size of the original

Knytt

Yep. That's how technology!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. As a slice-of-life, sci-fi, there is a lot to be said about the comic’s approach to life. In what ways did you see our present day lives represented in the comic? Additionally, how did the comic affect how you think about the way we live life right at this moment? Given this comic is also set in the future, what scenarios from the story do you think are the most plausible that we’ll see in real life once we reach that level of space travel? Alternatively, what scenarios do you feel might change due to the length of time it’s going to take for us to get to that future? Overall, what is your ultimate take away from the comic’s message about life, people, or anything related?

yeah. that was a moment i indetified with iris tho. cause it made sense cause that is how technology do, but i was equally confused how it was meant to be replaced at first when they didnt have a giant thing with them

mathtans

That remark reminds me of the fear of heights. It's nice to have little things like that which characters have to overcome, or otherwise delegate.

Superjustinbros

If the future happens I don't want it to be on nothing but meteorites and other extraterrestrial masses of land.

Feels... lonely too in a way

mathtans

I like how they still do stuff we do, like try to watch sports, or bake fruitcakes. Even if they don't necessarily do it often.

(Resulting in ghosts speaking to you, eerie.)

RebelVampire

i enjoyed that fruitcake was still considered mostly awful

except by joe who has nostalgia glasses for it

mathtans

Heh, yeah. Also, Christmas, still a thing.

(Who won the 'war on Christmas' then?)

Knytt

I thought "of course they'll still have Christmas"! We don't sacrifice a goat anymore, do we??

Superjustinbros

lol

Space Christmas: The holiday of the Future

mathtans

Well, in Sweden they kind of do. (Google 'straw goat'.)

Knytt

I've seen those! they're cool

RebelVampire

speaking of xmas i found it kind of humorous that iris kind of assumed joe was just in some sort of cult

Knytt

Oh yeah, the Pilgrims

I imagine any religion would seem a bit cultish to Iris.

RebelVampire

tbf tho there is kind of a fine line between a cult and religion in some respects. so it makes sense for any child to not really necessarily understand the difference.

Knytt

yea

mathtans

As to character bonding, the ship is maybe starting at the end there with the having something to drink together while watching the fruitcake.

RebelVampire

of the scenarios we see, i actually think the lack of attachment to nationality is the most plausible for a real life future for us. cause its hard to be attached to that when the world is spread out.

you mean your corrina iris ship?

mathtans

yis. must have yuri ships.

Superjustinbros

I second that, Rebel.

RebelVampire

https://asteroid8082.com/comic/chapter-2-page-11/

cause personally i thought that ship started there

cause knowing iris' personality she tots thinks that looks cute but wont say so

mathtans

Heh. I'd forgotten about that moment. It was nice too.

Iris probably kept the clothes in case Corrina changed her mind.

RebelVampire

tbf where would the clothes go otherwise?

its a 3 building colony that doesnt sell anything according to iris XD

mathtans

Maybe someone will offload some dept store dummies.

Superjustinbros

oh boy we got ships in this comic? owo

mathtans

We can ship Joe with one of the dummies.

Knytt

Iris think she's cute. pay attention to the phrasing: https://asteroid8082.com/comic/chapter-3-page-7/

mathtans

Finally a cute girl.

Good point there.

Incidentally, I wonder if 8082 has any particular significance.

RebelVampire

look at that ship sail

Knytt

the number 8082? hmm, not a lot

Superjustinbros

space ships

ba da ching

Knytt

I wanted it to be like "there are a lot of other asteroids; it's not important enough to have a name"

RebelVampire

that is the impression i got. that it was just a no name number cause heck there be a lot of colonies and asteroids and stuff

mathtans

I wondered if there was some kind of filing system, like it was system 80 and they were on the 82nd rock or something.

Knytt

There is a system! Asteroid 8082 isn't the 8082nd asteroid.

RebelVampire

the 82nd rock from the sun

Knytt

the 8 at the beginning is the number designation for that charter

so that's right!

There are 8 charters. think I mentioned that... so there are no asteroids in the 9000's

RebelVampire

interesting

https://asteroid8082.com/comic/chapter-4-bonus-2/ off topic but before i forget, i really liked this bonus comic. it was nice to see that there was kind of no reasonable expectation for the kids to fix it. and it more seems like adults being adults and just wanting the kids out of their hair so they can work.

Superjustinbros

Yeah.

mathtans

Ahh, that makes sense.

Yeah, that extra comic was fun, but I think in part because they were keen on the outcome too. Happy ending all around.

(Until they learn of the crash.)

RebelVampire

yeah i was kind of sad we didnt get to see them react to that

the adults

cause i bet that was a scolding about hovercraft safety

Knytt

I thought of making a bonus comic where Joe gets his hat back...

mathtans

Other ship: Joe and his hat.

It was nice that Iris cared about getting it back, when he couldn't seem to vocalize it.

Before the end, also want to mention that some of the science behind the scenes is cool. Like what happened when that hatch opened, I hadn't thought about that stuff.

RebelVampire

yeah i was a little surprised corrina was so cold hearted seeming about it. not that i didnt understand her point, just was surprised. especially considering corrina was the one who was like "lets make fruit cake for joe"

mathtans

Also the initial visual of walking away from the ship itself is interesting, what with wondering about being able to breathe.

I don't think Corrina was cold hearted, it was more, I'm busy trying to fly this thing, let's deal with that another time.

Superjustinbros

Anyways since the CTP is ending soon, I'd like to wish the authors luck on the rest of the comic- it's coming along great so far and the artstyle is amazing and well-drawn.

mathtans

Woohoo for bonus content.

Knytt

Thanks everyone for coming and talking!

mathtans

Thanks for creating!

Knytt

Oh, and if anyone's interested in that prequel story on Earth, it'll be in this kickstarter anthology (we just went live today!) https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/386994989/planetside-anthology?ref=cbco55

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Will Quinn, as well, for making Asteroid 8082. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Will Quinn’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://asteroid8082.com/

Will Quinn’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/willquinnart

Will Quinn’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/willquinnart

[ellanainthetardis]

prompt: the guys take haymitch to a strip club, but he doesnt like it and just wants to go home and be with effie, so he does ( you can make it smut if you want)

I did want xD Get ready for the crack crappy smut ‘cause I still can’t write that but watch me try [X]

Striptease

Effie glanced up at the clock when she heardthe chime of the elevator and made a face before quickly crushing the bud ofher cigarette in the ashtray. It was early still, much earlier than Haymitchusually came back. She barely had time to feel around her purse for the smallbottle of perfume and to spray some in the air to mask the odor of tobacco –she didn’t fancy a lecture on smoking that night. The ashtray was deftly hiddenunder a magazine.

When her victor stumbled in the room, itappeared as though she was filing her nails.

“Busy night, I see.” he mocked, going straightfor the liquor cart.

“Haven’t you had enough?” she rebuked,wrinkling her nose. “Where were you? You smell… even worse than usual.”

And it was putting it mildly. He smelt like sweatand smoke and liquor.

“Strip club.” he mumbled, pouring himself awhiskey. “Chaff and Jo’s great idea.”

She wasn’t quick enough to hide her annoyanceand he lifted his eyebrows at the irritated look she shot him. She filed hernail harder – and she would have to make an appointment at the beauty parlorthe next day because she was ruiningher manicure – focusing on the task rather than on him.

“I see.” she huffed. “I won’t ask if you hadfun then, will I? I do hope you werediscreet at least. It won’t do for Twelve’s good name to be dragged in the mudbecause its victor visits houses of ill-repute.”

He chuckled, perching himself on the armrest ofthe couch instead of properly sitting next to her. “Twelve’s got no good nameand I said strip club not brothel… Might have been a special orderon the menu though. Can’t say. I left when the dancers became too friendly.” Hecoiled his free hand around the back of her neck, squeezing once. “Why the longface, sweetheart… You’re jealous?”

“Hardly.” she huffed, shrugging his hand off.“Why did you leave then?”

“Don’t like having women on my lap.” hesnorted. “Even if they’re naked and ready for the taking.”

The image he was describing made her blood boilfor exactly no good reason at all. She snatched the glass of whiskey from hishand and stood up, storming to the window and taking a sip of the liquor. Itdid nothing to cool her temper. She hatedwhiskey – so obviously it had to behis poison of choice.

“Hit a nerve, did I?” he smirked and herirritation grew when she realized he was amusedby her reaction. “Don’t like the idea of me looking at pretty young nakedthings? Should have seen them, sweetheart… Perky breasts, tight nipples… Firmasses… And the legs…”

“Will you stop?” she snapped. “I have nointerest in listening to this. You are a pig.”

And the idea of him doing exactly that, of him watching women wrigglingand writhing in front of him, begging for his attention…

“Maybe.” he granted, dropping in the seat shehad  just vacated. “You’re going to giveme my booze back?”

“No.” she declared, taking a pointed sip fromhis glass. “You do not deserve it.”

Damn him, his smirk and his twinklingeyes.

He knewshe was annoyed and he also knew whyalthough the reason would remain unvoiced and unaddressed as usual. There werethings too dangerous to be acknowledged. As long as they could pretend…

“You’ve got the best ass this side of thecountry.” he said, almost placating. “Didn’t see a better one.”

“This side of the country?” she repeated with ahuff. “Haymitch, I have been elected sexiest woman of the year, three years ina row. I do think I look a littlebetter than mere strippers.”

He chuckled. “What year was that?”

She narrowed her eyes at him and he lifted hishands in a defensive gesture. He was in a good mood, she observed, and shewondered what exactly had happened at that club.

“Are you sure you did not enjoy it?” she asked,trying to keep the ice out of her voice because she had no business policinghim. He was free to enjoy whatever he wanted to enjoy and to do whatever hewanted to do.

“Enjoyed the view for a while.” he admittedwith a shrug. “Then it got boring. It’s like foreplay with no actual… You know.”

A little assuaged by that, she took another sipof whiskey. “You are not fond of foreplay.”

“Depends with whom.” he smirked. “Can’t say Iwouldn’t like you stripping for me…”

“I do not think you deserved that either.” she commented.

He tilted his head to the side and watched her,the smirk deepening a little. “Kept my hands to myself.”

“Common decency is hardly a feat worth atreat.” she declared, finishing the liquor and abandoning the glass on a tablenext to a vase for the Avoxes to clean up.

“Kept imaging it was you in front of me…” hecontinued, his voice dropping to a rough tone that always made her a little aroused – not that she wouldadmit that much. “Say, you can do the stuff on the pole?”

“Since there is no pole in the penthouse, youare unlikely to find out.” she hummed – and immediately put it on her to-dolist to take some discreet classes because one could not have too many skills.

“I’ve been dying to fuck you since that girltried to rub her ass on me.” he told her.

It was crass. And awful. And she shouldn’t havebeen as arousing as she found it to be.

“Let me make sure I understand…” she growled.“I should let you take me to bed because you are turned on by another womantrying to seduce you?”

He slumped a little on the couch, his gaze byfar too knowing. “Lose the wig.”

His voice wasn’t as much teasing as commandingnow and her automatic response was to lick her lips. “I am not playing thisgame, Haymitch.”

They stared at each other steadily for a whileand the certainty she read in his eyes angered her. He was convinced she wouldcave.

“Lose the wig.” he repeated.

“Not until you learn proper manners.” sheretorted. “Say please and I mightconsider it.”

“You don’t want proper manners.” he mocked.“You want to be fucked so hard you can’t think anymore.”

“You are so vulgar.” she scoffed with openloathing.

“And it makes you so wet.” he taunted.

“Do not talk to me like I am a stripper or aprostitute.” she hissed. “I am a lady and I will not…”

“You’re no lady, sweetheart.” he cut her off.“Cause ladies don’t get off being fucked from behind the way you do…” The smirkwas back, cocky and smug. “Maybe I’ll take you that way tonight… Bent over thecouch… You’d like that?”

She probably would. And wasn’t that anirritating thought?

“You won’t take me at all.” she scowled. “Youhave annoyed me. I am not your sex toy.”

She folded her arms over her chest and glaredat him.

“Lose the wig.” he demanded again.

“Say please.”she challenged right back.

Amusement flickered on his face. “You’realready soaked, yeah?”

“Just like you are already hard, I suppose.”she dismissed, because it was of little consequence how aroused they both were,the only thing that mattered was who would win this particular verbal spar. Shedidn’t mind giving up eventually because he did like to be in charge and sheloved how dominant he could be but she didn’t like the assumption that shewould simply hand power over like it was a given. She liked the struggle forcontrol. She liked the fight.

He studied her for a moment and then shrugged.“Please, lose the wig, sweetheart.”

“Muchbetter.” she beamed, quickly pulling pins out and letting them ping on thefloor.

Soon, the wig joined the pins and she tousledher natural curls, crushing down her insecurities. Any other man in the Capitoland she would have been mortified by her plain blond hair but Haymitch… Hisgaze darkened and he licked his lips because her hair, for some reason, was animmediate turn on to him.

“The dress now.” he commanded.

For a second, she almost made him ask politelyfor it once more but then she forgot the thought. It wouldn’t be as fun. Shecould wriggle the power back later.

She unzipped the dress and let the purple silkflop to the floor, slowly stepping out of the pool of fabric. She stood there,proud and victorious, offering herself to his hungry stare. She was wearing acorset and matching navy blue panties embroidered with golden arabesques. Sheknew she looked amazing and it made her feel powerful. The way he looked at hermade her feel powerful.

It wasn’t the healthiest, what they were doing. And often she thought they shouldstop while they were ahead. But sex was a drug of its own, just like his liquoror her cigarettes. It made them crazy and weak for each other. She simply couldn’t resist.

She brushed the tip of her fingers along theswell of her breast, looking straight at him. “Should I take the corset off ordo you want to do it yourself?”

She made it sound innocent and he growled, hisright hand falling between his legs. It was cheating, she wanted to argue,because she wanted to do that herselfbut she couldn’t deny she enjoyed the thought of him touching himself becauseshe was just… too much.

“Do it.” he said.

The corset was tied on the front and she made ashow of undoing the knot and then on pulling on the laces, going very slowly. He squeezed himself withevery new flash of creamy white skin and when the corset dropped at her feet,he was obviously flushed. He chucked his waistcoat away and unbuttoned hisshirt.

“Don’t.” she warned when he moved to open hispants. “That’s mine.”

He snorted and then shrugged. “Then come andget it.”

“But I have clothes on still.” she hummed.“This is a complete striptease.”

He shot her a look that let her know he knew what she was doing and he didn’tenjoy having the power stolen back like that.

“Panties off.” he demanded anyway.

She strode closer, swinging her hips, thegolden bangles on her wrist clinging together with every step. He opened hislegs for her without her having to ask and she stepped in between them, herintent clear. His hands briefly rested at the back of her thighs and thenroamed up to knead her ass.

“Take them off.” she requested. “With yourteeth.”

“Bossy.” he commented.

“Do you want me bent over the couch or not?”she challenged, lifting an eyebrow.

She hadn’t been expecting the small slap on herass and so she startled and yelped. Haymitch simply smirked. “I’m in charge,sweetheart.”

“Aren’t you always?” she replied innocently.“Now, pull my panties down. With your teeth.”

He wasn’t delicate when his mouth closed on thewaistband of her panties and she almost regretted that particular idea becauseshe was rather fond of that underwear set. Of course, she stopped secondguessing when his nose nuzzled her mound on his way down. With the pantiesstuck around her thighs, preventing her from fleeing, he forced her legs apartand, before she could say anything, his tongue was poking at her core.

“Haymitch.” she breathed out, all thought oftheir game deserting her mind. There was a more pressing concern: pleasure.

“Like I said…” he chuckled between her thighs.“I’m in charge.”

His tongue was too talented for his own good.  

When he stopped torturing her, her legs wereshaking, she was gripping his shoulders so tight her nails had probably leftcrescent shaped marks on his skin and she was far too gone to think. He had taken her to the brink andhe had left her hanging.

She barely registered when he slid herunderwear off or pulled her down so she would straddle his lap.

“My heels…” she reminded him.

“Leave them on.” he mumbled.

“I thought you did not like women sitting onyou.” was the only gibe she could muster and it was muttered under her breath becauseshe was too busy rubbing herself on him, trying to create friction, to find release.

It didn’t take a long time for him to be ready.When he pushed her off his lap, she got into position without being told, herstomach wedged on the armrest, her legs spread as wide as she could. She heardthe zip of his pants and the ruffling of fabric, she felt him move in akneeling position behind her and she closed her eyes in anticipation.

He didn’t touch her at once and it was evenbetter.

He teased her.

Breathing down her back…

Kissing and nipping at her spine…

Kneading her ass…

When he finally thrust into her, it took her bysurprise and she gasped in pleasure.

Of course, it also prompted him to bend overher, face pressed against her lower back to muffle his chuckles. She didn’tcare. At that point, the only thing she cared about was triggering her climax.She sneaked a hand between her legs but Haymitch grabbed it and trapped it atthe small of her back. He grabbed her other wrist and held it secure too.

“Don’t cheat, sweetheart.” he teased. “You wantsomething, you beg for it.”

“No.” she protested with the last shred ofsanity she had.

He gave one powerful thrust and she whimpered.Another and she was wriggling, trying to rub herself against the leatherarmrest of the couch. She got another small slap on her ass for her troubles.

“None of that.” he growled. “What do you want,Effie?”

The use of her name was a rare one. He usuallypreferred pet names. And in that context…

“Fuckme.” she breathed out. “Please, fuckme.”

“Why, Princess…” he mocked. “You only had toask.”

The thrusts were deep and brutal and she lovedevery moment of it. The whimpers turned to screams without her truly realizingit, she had no control over her body or what was going out of her mouth – encouragements, pleas and threats alike.

When she came, she came hard, slumping over the armrest without a care, the upper part ofher body dangling down. She didn’t even notice when he found his release, onlyrealizing he was done when he pulled her back properly on the couch. There wasa sticky mess between her legs but she didn’t even care, she was bone deepexhausted for all the right reasons and so she laid on the couch on her back,panting a little, naked except for her high heels. Haymitch was sitting next toher hip, still half undressed, pants around his knees, watching her, pantingtoo.

“He’s a fool.” he muttered suddenly.

“Who?” she asked, rolling on her side so thathe would have enough room to lie down if he so wished. They didn’t cuddle but, sometimes, he would allowthem to ride the afterglow together. She loved it more than she should have.

He didlie down but not before kicking his pants and his shirt off properly. It wasbetter that way. She got to snuggle close to his naked body.

“Chaff.” he sighed. “Thought those girls weresexy… Clearly, he hasn’t met you.”

“If you are saying I ruined you for otherwomen, don’t expect me to apologize.” she teased. “I am simply that exceptional.”

He snorted but turned his head so his nosewould be buried in her hair. His hand ran up and down her side for a moment andthen wandered down to her bottom, rubbing the spot he had slapped twice.

“You did not hurt me.” she hummed. “Do notfret.”

“I ain’t.” he scorned.

“I would have your head on a plate if you had,you know that.” she insisted. “I am not helpless. Everything I do with you, Ifully consent to.”

“I know.” he granted. “Not sure it’s quiteclever of you, but I know.”

She pressed her face against his shoulder anddid her best to just enjoy the instant. Peaceful moments were too fleetingduring the Games.

Next year, she thought… She would find a way tosneak a pole in the penthouse.

[viralhottopics]

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: ‘Can people please stop telling me feminism is hot?’

The novelist has been accused of making equality mainstream: isnt that the point? Plus an extract from her new Feminist Manifesto In Fifteen Suggestions

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was in Lagos last summer, teaching a writing workshop as part of an annual schedule that sees her time divided between Nigeria and the US. For much of the year, Adichie lives in a town 30 minutes west of Baltimore, where her Nigerian-American husband works as a medic and the 39-year-old writes in the quiet of a suburban home. When Adichie is in Nigeria, where her parents and extended family still live, she has a house in the vast city she regards with the complicated love and condescension of the part-time expat.

Its an ambivalence with which many Nigerians regard her, too; last year, the workshop ended in a question-and-answer session, during which a young man rose to ask the famous novelist a question. I used to love you, she recalls him saying. Ive read all your books. But since you started this whole feminism thing, and since you started to talk about this gay thing, Im just not sure about you any more. How do you intend to keep the love of people like me?

Adichie and I are in a coffee shop near her home in the Baltimore suburbs. We have met before, a few years ago, when her third novel Americanah was published, a book that examines what it is to be a Nigerian woman living in the US, and that went on to win a National Book Critics Circle award. A lot has happened since then. Half Of A Yellow Sun, Adichies second and most famous novel, about the Biafran war, has been made into a film starring Chiwetel Ejiofor and Thandie Newton. Her essay, We Should All Be Feminists, adapted from her 2013 TEDx talk, has remained on the bestseller lists, particularly in Sweden, where in 2015 it was distributed to every 16-year-old high-school student in the land. The talk was sampled by Beyonc in her song Flawless. Adichie has become the face of Boots No7 makeup. And she has had a baby, a daughter, now 15 months old.

Adichie is still somewhat in the blast zone, not entirely caught up on sleep, but has published a short book, Dear Ijeawele, Or A Feminist Manifesto In Fifteen Suggestions, an extended version of a letter to a friend who, after having her own baby girl, asked Adichies advice on how to raise her to be feminist. I have had twin girls myself since our last meeting, so I am curious about her approach, not least because one of my two-year-olds currently identifies as Bob the Builder and the other as Penelope Pitstop. I would like to equip them to be themselves, while resisting whatever projections might be foisted upon them. We show each other baby photos and smile. Welcome to the world of anxiety, Adichie says.

The success of We Should All Be Feminists has made Adichie as prominent for her feminism as for her novels, to the extent that now I get invited to every damned feminist thing in the whole world. She has always been an agony aunt of sorts, the unpaid therapist for my family and friends, but having the feminist label attached has changed things, and not just among her intimates. I was opened to a certain level of hostility that I hadnt experienced before as a writer and public figure.

This is partly why she has written the new book, to reclaim the word feminism from its abusers and misusers, a category within which she would include certain other progressives, and to lay down in plain, elegant English her beliefs about child-raising.

Dear Ijeawele is, in some ways, a very basic set of appeals; to be careful with language (never say because you are a girl), avoid gendered toys, encourage reading, dont treat marriage as an achievement, reject likability. Her job is not to make herself likable, her job is to be her full self, she writes in reference to her friends daughter, a choice Adichie has come to elevate almost above any other.

That day in Lagos last summer, her friends were furious at the cheek of the young mans question, but she rather liked his bravery and honesty in asking it. She replied in the same spirit. Keep your love, Adichie said. Because, sadly, while I love to be loved, I will not accept your love if it comes with these conditions.

Having a baby has made Adichie think differently about her own parents, particularly her mother. Grace Adichie, who had six children and worked her way up from being a university administrator to the registrar, taught her daughter to love fashion as well as books, and was a very cool mum whom she idolised as a child. Nonetheless, and in the manner of most snotty young adults, young Chimamanda went through a phase of being very superior to her mother. Now, the novelist looks at her daughter and gulps.

Adichie recently came across her own kindergarten reports. My father keeps them all. You know what the teacher wrote? She is brilliant, but she refuses to do any work when shes annoyed. I was five years old. She laughs. I couldnt believe it. My husband couldnt believe it. I must have been an annoying child.

Its not as if she comes from a family of radicals. My parents are not like that. Theyre conventional, reasonable, responsible, good, kind people. Im the crazy. But their love and support made that crazy thrive.

Unlike Adichie, who was raised exclusively in Nigeria, her daughter will be raised in two cultures and subject to slightly diverging social expectations. Already, Adichie says with a laugh, friends and relatives from home are concerned that her mothering is insufficiently stern.

A friend was just visiting and she said to me, Your parenting is not very Nigerian. In Nigeria and, I think, in many cultures you control children. And I feel like, my daughter is 15 months, she doesnt have a sense of consequences. And I enjoy watching her. So she tears a page of a book? Whatever. She throws my shoes down. So? Its fun. I love that shes quite strong-willed. The joke between Adichie and her husband whom, to her intense annoyance, their daughter looks much more like is that her character cleaves to the maternal side. He says to me, Well, at least we know where she got her personality from. Shes quite fierce.

In the new book, Adichies advice is not only to provide children with alternatives to empower boys and girls to understand there is no single way to be but also to understand that the only universal in this world is difference. In terms of the evolution of feminism, these are not new lessons, but that is rather Adichies point. She is not writing for other feminist writers, and shows some frustration at what she sees as the solipsism of much feminist debate.

That morning, on the way to see her, I had read a review of a new book by Jessa Crispin, entitled Why I Am Not A Feminist: A Feminist Manifesto, a critique of everything that is wrong with feminism today. If one can get over the eye-rolling aspect of books by feminists decrying the feminism of other feminists for degrading the word feminist by being insufficiently feminist, the book does raise questions about where one should be focusing ones efforts.

Fashion blogger Chiara Ferragni wears Adichies Dior T-shirt during Paris fashion week, January 2017. Photograph: Edward Berthelot/Getty Images

The proposition is that feminism has become so mainstream as to be an empty marketing tool, a mere slogan on a bag or a T-shirt. Without being named, Adichie is implicated in this critique, given that last year she collaborated with Christian Dior on a T-shirt bearing the line We Should All Be Feminists; depending on ones view, this is either a perfect example of pointless sloganeering or a brilliant piece of preaching to the unconverted.

Im already irritated, Adichie says. This idea of feminism as a party to which only a select few people get to come: this is why so many women, particularly women of colour, feel alienated from mainstream western academic feminism. Because, dont we want it to be mainstream? For me, feminism is a movement for which the end goal is to make itself no longer needed. I think academic feminism is interesting in that it can give a language to things, but Im not terribly interested in debating terms. I want peoples marriages to change for the better. I want women to walk into job interviews and be treated the same way as somebody who has a penis.

Still, one can see a theoretical obscenity about the Dior collaboration: the words of a movement that should be concerned with helping low-income women, used to promote and make money for a wealthy company. On the other hand: what is the damage?

Yes: whats the damage? Adichie says. I would even argue about the theoretically obscene. Theres a kind of self-righteousness to the ultra-left that is hard for me to stomach. Its approach to poverty can sometimes border on condescension. I often think that people who write a lot about poverty need to go and spend more time with poor people. I think about Nigerian women who can hardly afford anything but who love fashion. They have no money, but they work it.

Adichie mentions a TV soap opera that used to run in Nigeria called The Rich Also Cry, a terrible drama series, she says, that was very popular. But sometimes I think about that title. So, the creative director of Christian Dior is obviously a woman of some privilege. But does it then mean that she doesnt have gender-based problems in her life? Because she does. Does it mean she doesnt have this magnificent rage about gender injustice? Because she does. Wanting to use that slogan was it going to make the world a better place? No. But I think theres a level of consciousness-raising and a level of subversion that I like.

She doesnt believe it was a cynical marketing ploy? No. Sorry. Feminism is not that hot. I can tell you I would sell more books in Nigeria if I stopped and said Im no longer a feminist. I would have a stronger following, I would make more money. So when people say, Oh, feminisms a marketing ploy, it makes me laugh.

The bigger issue here is one of range. Adichies irritation with aspects of what she thinks of as professional feminism is that it runs counter to her ideas as a writer: that people contain multitudes. She is a brilliant novelist and a serious thinker, and she is also someone who makes no apology for her own trivial interests. Life doesnt always follow ideology, she says. You might believe in certain things and life gets in and things just become messy. You know? I think thats the space that fiction, and having a bit more of an imaginative approach, makes. And that the feminist speaking circuit doesnt really make room for.

There is much in the new book about double standards, including those governing the images of motherhood and fatherhood. I think we need to stop giving men cookies for doing what they should do, she says, and goes on to explain that her husband, who needs less sleep than her, tends to get up in the night to tend to the baby. On the one hand, I realise that my husband is unusual; on the other, I feel resentful when hes overpraised by my family and friends. Hes like Jesus.

He probably senses shes about to go off the deep end, I suggest, and Adichie smiles to acknowledge how impossible she is. I did all the physical work to produce her! Theres something fundamentally wrong with the way weve constructed what it means to be female in the world.

Photograph: Stephen Voss for the Guardian

This is something she writes about in a lovely passage of the new book about hair. As a child, Adichie and her sisters and every other girl she knew were routinely tortured with a metal comb to subdue their hair, something her brothers were spared. Im glad I wrote that, Adichie says. We had just come back from Lagos and my sister, God bless her, had already had a talk with me about my daughters hair. She said, You need to do something about it. With my family, theres an eye-roll and a here-we-go-again with her, and she said to me, Do you want me to send you a set of combs? And I was like, No, thank you. And I know its going to keep happening. But, no, Im not going to conform in that way. Im not going to have my child go through pain because society expects a certain neatness. It happened to me, its not going to happen to her. And Im ready to have all the battles I need to have.

The original letter on which Dear Ijeawele is based has been shared on Facebook, and while Adichie was in Lagos, a woman whod read it approached her in a shop and said, Heres my daughter, look at her hair. She had very loose cornrows that were not neat according to Nigerians. And she said, You inspired that. My daughter is happier, Im happier. And do you know, it was the highlight of my month.

This is not just a question of image. It is also about time. Women have less time than men, in almost every arena, because their responsibilities to look or act a certain way are more onerous.

It is one of Adichies bugbears that as someone who loves fashion, she is by default not taken seriously. When Boots approached her to be the face of its No7 makeup range, she said yes, because she thought it might be fun; in the end, she says, it became vaguely alarming. I have no regrets, but you wake up one day and think, what the hell have I done? There were too many of these pictures everywhere. Her point, however, is that its not that Im a feminist and made a strategic choice to speak about makeup and fashion. Its that I was raised by Grace Adichie in a culture in which you care about how you look. Its a part of me I once hid, because I felt that I had to to be serious. Now, Im just being who I am.

Recently, Adichies identity has been tested in new ways. I wonder if she is less affected by President Trump than an American, on the basis that she is less invested in the American story. Quite the opposite, she says. Because theres a part of me that needs a country I can think of as being one that largely works. Which is not a luxury that Nigeria can have. She laughs.

Someone said to me, Now that this is happening in the US, do you think of moving back to Nigeria? And I thought, no, because its not any better there. I admire America. I dont think of myself as American Im not. So its not mine. But I admire it, and so theres a sense that this thing I built in my head, its been destroyed.

There is also, she says, something familiar about it all. American democracy has never been tested. You might have disagreed ideologically with George W Bush, but he still kind of followed the rules. Here, it feels like Nigeria. It really does. Its that feeling of political uncertainty that Im very familiar with, but not a feeling I like. Its ugly. But even worse, because America is so powerful, and so much at the centre of the world, these things have consequences for everyone. Nigeria doesnt have that kind of reach, so our problems remain our problems.

In January, Adichie and her husband joined the Womens March in DC. It was fleeting, and symbolic, she says, but it gave me the smallest slice of hope. There are all of these people who seem to realise that America has changed by electing an unhinged person. On the other hand, theres a part of me thats very sceptical of too much sentimentality. I hope it translates into people organising and going out to vote.

Long before talk about piercing the filter bubble, Adichie instinctively subscribed to rightwing blogs and newsletters. She was an early watcher of Fox News, until it became too unhinged and ridiculous. But she has carried on, because Im interested in ideological concerns and how people differ, and how we should build a society. Whats a welfare state? People who have less, are we responsible for them? I think we are. And I think I can make a selfish case, which is apparently what appeals to people on the right. People on the left say we should do it because we should be kind. And people on the right think, Excuse me? But if you say to them, If these people dont get healthcare, they will go to the ER and your tax dollars will pay for it, suddenly they sit up.

Adichie with her husband, Ivara Esege. Photograph: DDAA/ZOB/Daniel Deme/WENN

As a result of her reading, rightwing ideology is not something I think is evil, she says. Some. A bit. But, in general, I dont. I have friends who are good, kind people who are on the right. But Donald Trump is an exception. Its not an objection to a conservative, because I dont even think hes a conservative. My objection is an objection to chaos. Each time I turn on the news, Im holding my breath.

Trumps erosion of language is one of the most frightening things about him, but even progressives, Adichie says, can be sloppy on this front. In response to her new book, a reporter emailed her the question: Why not humanism? (instead of feminism). To which, she says, I thought, what part of the fucking book did this person not read?

Its like the people who go around saying All Lives Matter, I say, in response to the Black Lives Matter movement. Right, which I find deeply offensive and very dishonest. Because we have to name something in order to fix it, which is why I insist on the word feminist or feminism.

This, she says, in spite of the fact that many of her friends, particularly black women, resist that word, because the history of feminism has been very white and has assumed women meant white women. Political discussion in this country still does that. Theyll say, Women voted for… and then, Black people voted for… And I think: Im black and a woman, so where do I fit in here?

As a result, Many of my friends who are not white will say, Im an intersectional feminist, or Im a womanist. And I have trouble with that word, because it has undertones of femininity as this mystical goddess-mother thing, which makes me uncomfortable. So we need a word. And my hope is we use feminism often enough that it starts to lose all the stigma and becomes this inclusive, diverse thing.

This is her goal and her defence, although she still doesnt see why she needs one. Her understanding of feminism is intertwined with her understanding that we all want to be more than one thing. And anyway, she repeats, Can people please stop telling me that feminism is hot? Because its not. Adichie looks magnificently annoyed. Honestly.

Beware feminism lite: an extract from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichies letter-turned-book, Dear Ijeawele

Be a full person. Motherhood is a glorious gift, but do not define yourself solely by it. You dont even have to love your job; you can merely love the confidence and self-fulfilment that come with doing and earning. Please reject the idea that motherhood and work are mutually exclusive. Our mothers worked full-time while we were growing up, and we turned out well at least you did; the jury is still out on me.

In these coming weeks of early motherhood, be kind to yourself. Ask for help. Expect to be helped. There is no such thing as a Superwoman. Parenting is about practice and love.

Give yourself room to fail. A new mother does not necessarily know how to calm a crying baby. Read books, look things up on the internet, ask older parents, or just use trial and error. But, above all, take time for yourself. Nurture your own needs.

I have no interest in the debate about women doing it all, because it is a debate that assumes that caregiving and domestic work are singularly female domains, an idea that I strongly reject. Domestic work and caregiving should be gender-neutral, and we should be asking not whether a woman can do it all, but how best to support parents in their dual duties at work and at home.

Photograph: Stephen Voss for the Guardian

Beware the danger of what I call Feminism Lite; the idea of conditional female equality. Being a feminist is like being pregnant. You either are or you are not. You either believe in the full equality of men and women, or you do not.

Teach your daughter to question language. A friend of mine says she will never call her daughter princess. The word is loaded with assumptions, of a girls delicacy, of the prince who will come to save her. This friend prefers angel and star. So decide the things you will not say to your child. You know that Igbo joke, used to tease girls who are being childish What are you doing? Dont you know you are old enough to find a husband? I used to say that often. But now I choose not to. I say, You are old enough to find a job. Because I do not believe that marriage is something we should teach young girls to aspire to.

Try not to use words like misogyny and patriarchy. We feminists can sometimes be too jargony. Teach her that if you criticise X in women but do not criticise X in men, you do not have a problem with X, you have a problem with women. For X please insert words like anger, ambition, loudness, stubbornness, coldness, ruthlessness.

Do you remember how we laughed and laughed at an atrociously written piece about me some years ago? The writer had accused me of being angry, as though being angry were something to be ashamed of. Of course I am angry. I am angry about racism. I am angry about sexism. But I recently came to the realisation that I am angrier about sexism than I am about racism. Because in my anger about sexism, I often feel lonely. Because I love, and live among, many people who easily acknowledge race injustice but not gender injustice.

Teach your daughter to question men who can have empathy for women only if they see them as relational rather than as individual equal humans. Men who, when discussing rape, will say something like, If it were my daughter or wife or sister. Yet such men do not need to imagine a male victim of crime as a brother or son in order to feel empathy.

Teach her, too, to question the idea of women as a special species. I once heard an American politician, in his bid to show his support for women, speak of how women should be revered and championed a sentiment that is all too common. Tell her that women dont need to be championed and revered; they just need to be treated as equal human beings.

This is a condensed and edited extract from Dear Ijeawele, Or A Feminist Manifesto In Fifteen Suggestions, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, published on Tuesday by Fourth Estate at 10. To order a copy for 8.50, go to bookshop.theguardian.com

This article was amended on 4 March 2017. It originally referred to Lagos as Nigerias capital. This has now been corrected.

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from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: ‘Can people please stop telling me feminism is hot?’