#it just smells mega funky

[nellienelsonspring]

i love imogen but you guys gotta stop replacing tara with her in your fics

[fuckyourdumbassusername]

I have been listening to music for days looking for that perfect type of song. I want something with bass like dubstep or EDM but vocals like Deathcore. But even then I want a specific TYPE of heavy vocal.

Like Jinjer in Picies during the heavier part. Celldweller adjacent is the best I can describe it as. Also my Discover Weekly and Release Radar are very weighted toward electronic dance or Pop and aren’t helping. Also where’s my Jazz? But like the upbeat swing kind not the “good background for a nap” jazz? Also where is the funk? I know I haven’t been using my Spotify much but it’s depressing that my DJ thinks “well here’s what’s popular on Spotify” is what I want. Like NO. Give me the shit that some small band with 1,000 followers put out so I can get obsessed with the way the guitarist plucks that one chord or the dissonance in the singers voice or the way the drummer switches up the beat or the sudden funky twist in the bass line before the last verse. Give me the weird shit no one has heard. Give me the bedroom DJ and the strange band who only sings about drinking in taverns or being vampires and commit to the bit. Give me the music the normies go “wait what is this?” Give me the music so unique that it stands out from the rest. The world is full of 2-3 minute “I went to the bar and saw a girl” pop songs but how often do you come across a song about the experience of struggling with our mental illness (The Method by Nobodi or more popularly Saddy Daddio by Artimus Wolz). Or the 5 minute song. Just that. Why is all music becoming so short and yet sometimes even 2 minutes is to long for what’s in the song and yet there are 5 minute songs I wish would continue for another 5 minutes? I want to live in the sound for longer and yet it leaves me too soon. Some bands have songs longer than the average live show set and I could listen to it for twice the runtime but other songs I skip as soon as the last verse ends because it has nothing more to give me. Why isn’t there an entire section just for the “this album cover has an anime girl but this shit will slap so hard that is anyone tries to comment on it in a rude way you can just be like but listen to it and watch as this person has to admit it slaps”. Like are you telling me you can listen to Moonlight Sonatra by OBKATIEKAT and not feel like you should have just witnessed some sort of main character becoming the villain scene? Or Hope You Used to Feel by Zetsubou P and Hatsune Miku and not feel like the that 2:13-2:34 playing on repeat at 2 am? Or The Lich’s Nocturne (Froot’s Theme) by RichaadEB and not want to listen to it again? Like you can listen to that epic guitar once and live the rest of your life never listening to it again??? Or Bad Apple by RichaadEB and Cristina Vee and not feel seen by the lyrics? What about Morning Walk by Noah Rosen, Lofitic and Patiotic Records? You can’t feel yourself sitting in a coffee shop listening to this while you watch the rain? It doesn’t just calm you? Follow it with A Surreal World by Noah Rosen, Lofitic and Patiotic Records and I swear you’ll start smelling the imaginary coffee shop. Then there’s (Don’t Fear) The Reaper by Nightshade, Satin Puppets and Lyndsi Austin that lives rent free in my head with the main singer background singer just barely overlapping.

There’s also Ghost Data. Just the whole artist. Queen of Knives with its beat and the understated eee-EEE-eee vocals. Not mentioning the 2:30 build to a slow down to a 2:40 build? Who remains normal after hearing that? Or Magical Girls with its more classic sounding beat and that buzz and then the vocals! The robotic effect on the vocals sell the song for me. Become God returns to the epic beat simple vocals but adds spoken even more robotic lines from time to time that make it a great combination of the other two songs.

Then listen to Lucy by Levi Doron and tell me that beat doesn’t make your heart beat dance or your feet want to move? Or Jenova by Dunderpatrullen and Meganeko and tell me your brain didn’t conjure some Halloween like scenes or some cinematic of your own imagination? What about Tenebrous by Essenger? Can you be normal after hearing the drums in that song and listening to the lyrics?

Arguably this next one doesn’t fit the category but I’m mentioning it anyway Obsolete by DEADLIFE and Scandroid. The lyrics and build of the music make the brain happy but the album art isn’t really an anime girl but more an anime android of sorts.

I spent so long looking for one specific album cover and couldn’t find it but went on an adventure through my music to find as many examples as I could. Strange to see how normie my music taste used to be and how my playlists used to just be whole album after whole album and have some sort of rhyme or reason and now it’s just one 31 hour whiplash list. If there’s anyone who can listen to all the above anime girl art songs I suggested and not click on the next album they see with an anime girl album art just out of curiosity I don’t understand you. I always have to take a look even if I don’t listen to any I just have to see what the album is made up of. My brain won’t let me just scroll by or ignore it. This post started as me looking for a specific type of music and turned into a hyper fixation on a specific type of album art so for anyone who read it I hope I helped you find at least one song to enjoy.

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough - Gortash

Mega spoilers below the cut

Finally, finally, I got to the audience with Gortash. I’m happy for the girlies that are in love, I love Jason Isaacs and I’m glad they’ve hired top knotch voice actors for the baddies in this game, but damn my friends, he does nothing for me. He looks like a moldy potato. As I said before, he looks like he smells like a hangover covered up with Axe spray. Sorry!

Despite that, he’s a very interesting character. I really liked the little group of NPCs outside fanboying about him inventing the Steel Watch - someone points out it was the Gondians who actually invented the Steel Watch, and Gortash just financed it, and someone else argues, no, it was Gortash who invented it - which he absolutely didn’t. Reminded me of Elon Musk and how everyone thought he was such a fucking genius, when all he did was purchase companies and pay other researchers. I loved that parallel.

So DAMN. This scene is very different for a dark urge. Man I felt so sorry for Karlach - she thinks she’s going to walk up and have this big face to face with her ex friend, and Gortash doesn’t even have words for her - instead he welcomes back his favourite assassin, and that’s me. I loved Karlach’s WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?? reaction, because same girl, same. Absolutely fucking WILD for a resisting durge to learn, you know, not only do they have these horrible murderous urges, not only do we have this nasty little butler man trying to force us to gruesomely kill people, not only did something horrible happen to us that wiped clean all our memories, NOT ONLY ARE WE A GODDAMNED BHAALSPAWN and leader of the goddamned bhaal cult, NOT ONLY ALL OF THIS, no, that wasn’t enough, oh no: now we learn we were also one of the original architects of the Absolute plot, removed only when Orin saw an opportunity to displace us. Damn, damn, damn. What a wild fucking ride. My poor tav.

The writing here and dialogue choices I found were a bit funky, rather like a bad DM that is trying too hard to nudge the player into the result they want, without really understanding what the player naturally wants to do. It was very odd how the dialogue kept offering me options to see if Gortash was telling the truth. Reassurances and reassurances. But you know what? My durge doesn’t CARE if Gortash is telling the truth. Lies, truth, it doesn’t matter, I am disgusted by what I just learned. I might agree not to pound Gortash into paste right this particular second, because Wyll’s dad as well as an entire audience and compliments of guards are right there, but I am NOT, NOT saying that I agree to any fucking alliance??? Well the Emperor says he’s telling the truth. Well I can read his body language to see if he’s telling the truth. Well I can use detect thoughts to see if he’s telling the truth. I DO NOT CARE IF HE IS TELLING THE TRUTH. In fact if he’s being sincere that almost makes the situation worse. It was so bizarre. I feel like maybe this dialogue was designed mostly with a non-durge in mind, who probably hates Gortash a lot less at this point? Maybe?

Anyways whatever, we got to a point where I agreed not to go straight to combat, but I still feel like I expressed my disgust in a mostly satisfactory way, so whatever. Whatever.

What happens AFTER that is also pretty fun. The three companions you just brought along to the coronation have now all just seen you are not only a Bhaalspawn, but you were one of the three who started all of this horrible shit in the first place!!! They all have very very interesting reactions (and as far as I am able to tell - the reaction is the same whether or not you chose to tell them you are a bhaalspawn ahead of time. My particular tav told no one but Astarion).

Karlach’s reaction hurt the most. She was furious, absolutely furious to find out I used to work with Gortash and that I used to lead the Bhaal cult. She says she isn’t sure she trusts I’m not still a bad guy, and she needs time - a lot of time - to think about it. Her reaction is TOTALLY VALID, it absolutely is, but it still stings, holy shit. I actually reloaded to see if there was anything I could do to make her less mad - but nothing helps. Augh. Karlach I am so sorry, I’m so sorry….

Gale was similarly angry. The reaction is valid but it hurts, it hurts…

Shadowheart’s reaction was bugged, at least for me. After the ceremony she had no reaction at all, just her regular conversation dialogue. That’s too bad, I was curious to see what she said.

Lae’zel has no additional dialogue, she will only say what she says if you tell her yourself that you’re a bhaalspawn: that it makes sense, because you are murderous and also annoying, lol.

Halsin is surprised, but not in a… “I had no idea you were actually a piece of shit this whole time” way, and more of a “shit I guess this just shows that we need to be careful and not take anything for granted” way.

Jaheria (who has no dialogue to tell her you’re a bhaalspawn) is concerned, but tells herself that doubting each other only benefits Gortash. She also asks for some time to think, but it’s less of a rude “I need time to think about how I’m ever going to look at your disgusting face again” and more of a “I need time to decide what is the best strategy to take now” way.

Wyll as always is a rock-solid friend. He’s mostly thinking about his father, understandable, and tells me again the story of the bhaalspawn who went on to become a hero.

And as before, as always, Astarion has the very best reaction, really shocked me actually, because I never thought about it like that. He starts off quite accusatory and I was prepared to have my heart broken - “You! You’re the one behind all this!” Ugh. It was hurting my heart. What will I do if Astarion is angry? Then he flips it into a joke as always, laughs and says he admits he’s impressed. But THEN… he THANKS me, he thanks me for being that evil bastard, because if it wasn’t for the Absolute plot and the nautiloid snatching people, he’d still be locked away in Cazador’s kennel. He THANKS me. I was so… surprised. I never really thought of it like that. Bhaal-cult-leader-tav frees Astarion. Extremely indirectly, but still. Man. My heart was hurting from Karlach’s reaction, everyone is freshly suspicious of me at worst and pitying at best, and why wouldn’t they be, I deserve every bit of it, and here’s Astarion, fucking THANKING me. Just. Wow. His support is so amazing, has been for this whole arc. I know people were grumpy that the dark urge writer wrote (honestly only a small amount of) extra content for Astarion interactions but didn’t have time to give the same attention for the other companions, but it’s not even the extra content that makes Astarion so amazing in a dark urge run. It’s his unique perspective and the place that he’s coming from and his surprising and unwavering support. It’s kind of like how Gale is uniquely supportive of a tav that becomes a mindflayer, it’s a sweet little special character piece. As things just keep get worse and worse for my resisting durge, I’m appreciating Astarion’s support more and more.

Back at camp, there’s the Orin kidnapping blah blah blah. The companion taken can be Lae;zel, Gale, or Halsin, but Lae’zel’s scenario is the only one that really makes any kind of sense at all…. What does Halsin losing control in the city or Gale wanting to blow up his orb have to do with anything? Lae’zel trying to convince you someone else in camp is the imposter and murder them makes much more sense. Afterwards, Gale says we should carefully consider Orin’s terms, no matter how distasteful it may be. Distasteful?..? What an odd comment. I’m 100% going to obliterate Gortash, was already making plans for that, nothing at all to do with Orin. “Distasteful” nothing, killing Gortash and confronting Orin was the plan all along. How odd.

Now I’m in the lower city, and it’s fucking shredding my poor shitty computer. We’ll see how this goes. Astarion went a bit nuts shopping for clothes at Carm’s Garms, and my tav is now wearing a ridiculous embroidered thing in black and blue and silver and looks like a mariachi. NPCs everywhere, as far as the eye can see, and even on the lowest graphics settings my poor mac is chugging along.

[just-absolutely-super]

OP au crack

Dex: bad news you guys. We're running low on food.

Lan: what!?

Mega: I thought you filled up at the port town we were at two days ago?

Dex: I did, but I didn't double check properly and the guy sold me some bad stuff

Mega: bad stuff how?

Dex: bad stuff as the fruit and veggies are starting to rot and the meat now smell funky

Lan: it's inedible!!

Dex: fraid so

Mega: is there something we can eat at all?

Dex: we got spices, rice and some canned food. But they won't last us long

Mega: looks like we'll have to start fish

Lan: you fish, I'll dive. And if we run into that seller again-

Mega: Lan! No!!

Lan: oh please, don't lie. You want to deal with him too

Mega: I can deal with people without starting a brawl!!

Lan: sure whatever you say

Mega: it's true!!!

The next time they had to deal with a bad sales man Hub did in fact try not to start a brawl. He wasn't as successful as he hoped

Salesman: I've got a good deal on this slice of meat here

Mega: It smells more awful than typical raw meat!

Dex: Definitely going bad...

Mega: We aren't taking this, give us something more fresh!

Salesman: Sorry, but the bad stuff has to go first before I can sell the fresh. Take it or leave it!

Mega: What kind of business is that?!

Dex: Hub, let's go to another stall, I think they--

Mega: No, I'm going to give this guy a piece of my mind! Listen here--

Salesman: Hey, I don't take too kindly to pirates. If you have a problem with me... *brandishes a knife* Then we can always "talk" hehehe

Mega: I'm not trying to start a fight, I just want fresh meat!

Salesman: In this town, the merchants run the show. You want fresh meat, then take it! Go on, I dare you!

Dex: Hub...

Mega: I'm not stooping so low. Let's go Dex--

Salesman: Heh, I knew you weren't much of a pirate. You're such a chicken, bwak bwak bwak!

Mega: ...

15 minutes later

Lan: *teasing smirk*

Mega: ...

Lan: So...you lost your cool and punched out a sales guy huh?

Mega: He pulled a knife out on me, it was self-defense!

Lan: That's not how Dex tells the story

Mega: Dex over-exaggerates! Anyways, we have fresh meat now, so let it go!

Lan: We're also banned from that particular town in general

Mega: It's fine, what's the chances we'll come back here again?

Lan: Spoken like a true gremlin!

Mega: Please stop...

[alientitty]

its nearly midnight (now past midnight as i finish the post) and here are my tips on doing laundry:

you can take it or leave it (i’m just some guy) but i have been doing it myself or with my mom for the better part of 15 years and realize there’s people my age or younger who struggle having to do it themselves

it depends on your washer, but most items that say “hand wash only” will usually be fine on gentle cycle in a lingerie bag (or pillowcase). similarly, most “line dry” or “dry flat” items will survive just fine on a hanger. but if you have a lot of fragile things it may be a good idea to invest in a drying rack

separating it out by color: well if you gotta do two loads you might as well. but most modern laundry detergents don’t usually bleed the dyes so it’s really not necessary. the exceptions are: first wash on a garment with color bleed warnings, and sometimes you will get that one pair of jeans that really does bleed all over the shout every damn time.

dry clean only is a pain in the ass, but you can ruin and shrink garments that react badly to water. running it on air dry with some sheet might smell nice but it won’t remove the oils from your skin. that being said you can cheat it a little--some synthetics like rayon and acrylic can get wet and still retain shape, especially if in a blend (viscose is also rayon, and only the softest, most delicate and expensive weaves are actually “faux silk” that is too weak to support itself when wet). if it’s 100% silk or wool, though, get that shit cleaned properly.

which brings me to...care instructions! read them! you can greatly extend the life of fast fashion items, for example, by keeping them out of the dryer and running them on gentle cycle. the biggest factors in wearing out your clothes (besides actually wearing them) are the spin cycle and the DRYER (especially heat, but also getting tossed around with other clothes).

similarly, read the fabrics! knowing what your clothes are made of helps you know which directions you can ignore to make your life easier. 100% cotton really can shrink, but synthetics like nylon and polyester are basically plastics and there is a risk of melting if they’re not rated safe for dryers. rayon is basically wood pulp and is more brittle than cotton or linen when wet, but if it’s not particularly fine, and especially if it’s mixed with other materials, it can often support itself enough to dry nicely. search engines are your friend if you’re not sure what a fabric can take

you can also extend the life and color of many items by washing them inside out--some say so on instructions! for everyday use i haven’t had a problem with gentle cycle (the main downside is that a less violent spin cycle means they’re more damp coming out of the machine) and low heat for dryer pretty much everything. but anything that can go in a dryer can also be hung up. just make sure to straighten it out a little so it doesn’t air dry into funky shapes.

other tips for extending life: wash everything cold unless you’re doing something special

if you’ve got enough to justify it, do towels and sheets separately. they can handle the rougher spin, hot water and high dryer heat without shrinking

don’t put your bras in the dryer..they already get rough treatment and are so expensive. in fact, get a lingerie bag for them and other gentle items (i promise you can find one at the 99 cent store if need be, so price is not an excuse!)

ironing--i pretty much never do this, but... when you do need to, err on the side of caution with lower heat and plenty of steam (if called for)--oh, and have your clothes inside-out! (with only one layer of fabric between the iron and the board.) follow the tags as this is another case where you risk damaging the garment by going in too hot. you’ll probably have to go slower than you like, and sometimes you do need to hold the iron on an area for it to conform, just keep it to only a couple seconds and go in multiple times to avoid burning (i think? once again this is tedious and i hate it). to make sure your clothes are flat, look  at the seams and try to make out the different pieces of fabric, laying out each section as flat as you can and ironing just that area. that narrow end of the ironing board is designed for sleeves and anything else that’s more tube than square.

stains: will go away best when fresh. turn the garment inside out, run under cold water, and rub it out with dish or hand soap.

old stains: while hot water can set new stains, it will drag old ones out of the fabric (still work inside out to “raise the stain”). these are a bit more work to get. you can scrub with baking soda & water paste, diluted lemon juice/vinegar, or watered down dish soap, and alternate between soaking it, scrubbing vigorously, rinsing and repeating. (you may want to test the cleaning agent another part of the fabric if you’re worried about discoloration)

my personal low-effort favorite that seems to be working, though, is to soak it in diluted dish soap (or just slather with dish soap and hope it’s still effective if you’re me) and let it fuck off for 3 hours to 3 days before laundry day. rinse out most of the soap before throwing it in the machine so those mega-suds don’t kill your washer.

for tough stains they may have to go through multiple treatments and washes. i usually just have some clothes on standby to be treated and thrown in with regular laundry, though if you have a lot of stained items you can d a whole load of just them in hot water (and alternate with treating until the stains go away) (wayy to much work for me though)

for the love of god, DON’T PUT ANYTHING STAINED IN THE DRYER if you want it to wash out. it’s not impossible to get out all set stains (i’ve done it), but it’s a bitch and a half to do. some garments may truly be beyond rescue

i have never used bleach on a garment in my life. some garments can handle it (often no chlorine) but as far as i’m concerned that shit’s just for killing bacteria

the dreaded folding--well it depends on your personality but here’s what helps me:

put your freshly dried clothes in a basket (mine was 3 bucks at walmart--once again, no excuse, do this. it will be good for you.). and preferably put it down near a surface you’ll use for folding. (a bed or couch works just as well as a countertop)

my strategy is to get it done right away. the moment it’s out of the dryer, we don’t sit down until everything’s all set for folding. and then we sit where we fold

similarly, it helps to do it in the same place every time so it becomes a habit. i always fold mine while watching tv.

reward yourself and relax for a minute after you’re done. you’ve completed a big task!

[jane-may]

I will find you, anywhere you go

So! I joined a Good Omens Secret Santa event and the gift I am giving is a fanfic! I had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope my SS partner likes it! Hi @user-mania​ !! This one is for you :D

I’d like to give special thanks to my super fren @clownsxclowns​ who helped me out giving me tips on how to post stuff here, this is my first time posting any writing and she was mega helpful! Thanks Kat!!

Summary: The story takes place on the garden of Eden. This is the first time Aziraphale meets Crawley, but the demon remembers the angel from before his fall.

Pairing: Crawly/Aziraphale

Genre: Fluff/Angst (it is SAD and I’M SORRY)

Word Count: 2389.

Warnings: no warnings

//////

“How long til she notices?”

Crawly broke the silence that lingered, almost absolute if not for the roaring of thunder and raindrops hitting the foliage of the many trees nearby.

Aziraphale and Crawly, properly introduced a few minutes ago, were still overlooking the walls until they could not see Adam and Eve, who disappeared into the horizon.

Aziraphale was a bit lost in his thoughts and didn’t quite catch what the demon asked

“How long until what?”

Crawly, who was under the angel’s wing, shifted closer thinking Aziraphale could not hear him over the sounds of the consistent thunders. 

“You know, how long until she notices they are gone? That they gave into temptation and all that”

“Oh. Well, I suppose soon. I guess we’ll have to just...wait for Her”

“Guess so”

Crawly knew he would have to report back to hell soon so he could be assigned to another task, but he didn’t want to. The reason being that he found Aziraphale, after being cast out for so long.

He knew for a while now that when an angel fell, the only thing they would forget was their name. It was part of the punishment, as so to make them long for everything they’ve lost because of their “rebellious ways”. But this wasn’t the worst part. The fallen angels were to be forgotten by everybody else. The only angels who would remember who they were before, were those assigned with the task of casting them away, usually higher authorities that worked on higher “departments” of heaven.

Aziraphale, being a principality, wasn’t allowed to attend when Crawly fell. Crawly told him about the mechanics so he even pondered if he should try to sneak into the ceremony, just so he could remember him later, but he couldn’t. He was too afraid of being caught and decided that it would hurt less if he couldn’t remember anyway. It was ineffable, he supposed. It was meant to be that way. Besides, an angel couldn’t do the wrong thing.

The duo was still standing at the wall until both decided to search for shelter. Aziraphale suggested a nearby tree but soon changed his mind as both found out that lightning could travel all the way down from the sky and hit the earth. And that what it did to the poor tree where it landed could easily discorporate both beings.

Crawly was quick to point out a cavern, a bit damp but deep enough to protect them. He instructed Aziraphale to stay a few steps away as he lit some logs using hellfire.

“Oh! Careful with that!” the angel exclaimed, startled by the specks of hellfire floating aimlessly in the air.

“You haven’t changed one bit now, have you?” the demon marveled under his breath, staring at the angel’s features that looked even more lovely when dimly lit by the small campfire he put up.

“I beg your pardon?” 

Aziraphale looked puzzled. What did he mean? They’ve met what, an hour or so ago, did he hear him right? He approached the demon, a bit hesitant still, his fingers twitching. Should he be this close to a demon anyway?

“S’nothing. You look like you’re cold, took all the rain and stuff. Come closer, this is not enough hellfire to cause you harm.” 

Crawly thought it would be better not to talk about the fall, not now. He needed to show that he could be trusted. All Aziraphale knew now is that he was a demon he met a few minutes ago, he had no reason to believe him if he brought up the subject.

“I’m fine, thank you! I don’t suppose we should be interacting though, not to be rude, it’s just...angel and demon, might cross the Almighty. Actually, I suppose I should try and find elsewhere to be, thank y-” he was heading towards the exit when another lightning struck, stopping him on his tracks and making him let out a startled gasp.

Crawly chuckled at the sound. “Well, it seems to me that the almighty wants you here.” he raised both eyebrows “besides, you gave me shelter out there, I don’t want to be owing you any favours.”

“Well...when you put it that way” he agreed, backing away from the entrance slowly.

The demon then stretched out his right wing invitingly, keeping his eyes on the fire. He found it very annoying that his eyes would change when his heart beat faster, but there was no way the angel would notice such a trivial detail. How would he notice the white of his eyes giving in to the yellow from time to time? It would surely take a while before it raised any questions.

Aziraphale sat down and let his head rest on the soft, pitch-black feathers. A couple of hours went by and the thunderstorm gave no indication of going away anytime soon. 

All this time, the angel was staring at the hellfire, lost in his thoughts. This wasn’t anywhere near the picture heaven painted of what a demon would be like. Sure, he had funky eyes and transformed into a huge serpent, but being next to him didn’t feel endangering. He wasn’t dirty, rude or mean. Heavens, his scent was even pleasant! He started to wonder, there were so many questions rushing through his mind right now. Why did he fall? Why did he smell nice? Why didn’t he have fangs or a tail? Oh but those were too rude to ask. Or maybe he could try to ask nicely? 

His train of thought came to a blunt stop when Crawly’s head bumped against his shoulder. He turned around and saw the demon yawn, pulling away

“M’ sorry. Bit tired.” The raindrops outside, the crackling of the fire, the distant thunders and the warmth coming off of both the angel and the campfire were all too cozy for the demon. He enjoyed sleeping, hell was too crowded anyway, it was practically impossible to find a silent spot there to nap undisturbed.

“You should rest. I will wake you when the storm has ceased, you can lay here for a while, I suppose” he then gestured to his lap swiftly and uncertain of why he was helping his not so menacing fiend. 

Crawly just nodded, gave him a smile and carefully laid down, retracting his wings and resting his head on the angel’s lap. This wasn’t the first time for him, he remembered that feeling from way before his fall. The fact that Aziraphale suggested that he laid down gave him hope that maybe the angel would end up in love with him again. Maybe he would just repeat all those steps they took, eons prior to the Eden, maybe he should never tell him and just allow that to happen again.

A whole day passed, the storm was still going strong. Aziraphale was staring down at the demon, paying attention to many details. His snake tattoo was quite charming and his auburn hair seemed to shine even brighter under the copper lighting the hellfire cast above them. 

Mindlessly, the angel started to trace the tattoo with his index finger, mimicking all the curves of the tiny snake. His skin was noticeably soft and instinctively the angel moved his hand to his hair, just to see if the locks were this soft too.

And oh, they were satin like. He continued to play with his hair for a couple of minutes and just as he started to doze off the rain stopped. He needed to wake Crawly up but he really didn’t want to.

Crawly shifted, his face now turned towards the angel’s body. Aziraphale quickly pulled his hand away from the hair, scared he might have woken him up. A principality shouldn’t be playing with a demon’s locks, big no no. 

Crawly groaned at the loss of contact, seemingly annoyed. The angel smiled and slowly got back to stroking his hair. The curls looked magnificent and he even made a little braid out of some rebellious locks that wouldn’t stay in place. Prior to this cavern, he had a completely different view on demons, but every minute that passed only proved to him that at least this one, was deep down a nice one.

“Crawly?” he cleared his throat “Crawly, the rain stopped. I think I’ll head out and grab something to eat.”

Crawly rolled over, his head now facing upwards. He noticed the angel was a bit flushed and couldn’t help but smile at the sight. He sat up quickly, stretched his arms and yawned.

“Sure, go ahead” he rubbed his eyes,  got up and helped Aziraphale up too. The pair walked out, side by side and were welcomed with quite the landscape. Dozens of fallen trees, chunks of soil that came up with them, broken branches and all sorts of fruits scattered around.

Crawly walked towards the mess, grabbed an apple from one of the branches laying on the floor. “Fancy a bite, angel?”

The angel’s eyes widened in disbelief  “Don’t be absurd!! Absolutely not! Look at what happened and, look at what they-” he paused, gesturing vaguely with his hands “did!” his face was close to being as red as the apple Crawly held out. “I don’t even know y-”

He was interrupted by the demon shushing him “Are yo- are you insinuating that the apple did that?? Aziraphale, she was expecting already, you said it yourself! Furthermore, I would, at the bare minimum, take you to a spot of lunch before implying such a thing, I’ve got manners!!” he took a bite off the apple, making an obscenely loud crunch.

“And why do you think I would want to partake in such activ- wait a minute. How do you even know my name? I don’t remember introducing myself properly.” 

Now he was very intrigued. He wanted answers and his frown wasn’t going away until he got them.

“I- um-ngk well” Crawly took another bite, buying his time to think. 

Would he tell him? Would he rather try to get the angel to fall in love with him again? What if he didn’t though? Hell, did he even deserve his affection? He endangered his safety when they were both angels. Sure, he took the blame and fell alone to spare him, but it didn’t make him feel less guilty.

“I’ve been round, heard things. Snakin’ round and what not- you know what, forget that. You don’t need to eat it if you don’t want to. I must say it’s terribly sweet though but-” he fumbled around some leaves and found a pear.

“Here, you said you were hungry, have that then” he blurted out, offering the other fruit.

“Should I say thank you?” he took the pear and carefully cleaned it with his robe

“Nah” Crawly shrugged, tossing away the remains of his apple.

They walked around in silence as Aziraphale ate his pear, both assessing the damage caused by the thunderstorm until the angel muttered 

“Did...did it hurt? You know, the fall” he kept his hands clasped together in front of him and his eyes looking down.

“Huh? Well, the pool of sulfur wasn’t very nice on the skin at first, but it made my wings much cooler I guess” he laughed off

“Pool of sulfur?” the angel stopped on his tracks, his voice heavy with concern. He didn’t know much about the fallen anymore. All he once knew he had learned from Crawly, who read some documents he really shouldn’t have and started talking about it, questioning if these methods were any good. Of course, those pieces of information were forgotten, along with the memory of who Crawly was before the fall.

“Oh. Yeah, how would you know...Aziraphale, what exactly do you know about fallen angels?” his heart sank. Seeing his angel concerned was too much, it reminded him of the day he decided to sneak into the highest of the head offices and read those files.

“Well,” he swallowed “They are angels who don’t trust the Almighty...and they also go against Her ineffable plan…” 

Well, this wasn’t a lie. But it wasn’t everything. So, the demon insisted 

“And what else do you know?”

“Um, there’s a, well, there’s a trial but not all angels are allowed to participate, and they decide whether or not they should banish the angel in question.”

Crawly nodded, expecting more from the angel

“It’s said that they are given a different name...but I’m unsure about that since I’ve never met an angel who went through that”

This hurt. The demon almost couldn’t hide the growing pain cutting through his chest, burning worse than the sulfur, hotter than hellfire.

This was exactly why Crawly, while still an angel, decided to go through the paperwork in the first place. He found it very suspicious that in all those years, nobody knew of any fallen angel. Sure, the archangels would always threaten everybody with the idea of falling, but was it even true? How could it be true if there wasn’t a single solid example, someone, anyone? He was sure back then that they were lying about fallen angels, maybe even about hell itself. What he found out was much worse, of course, and brought Crawley himself to this unfortunate fate. Identity stolen, forgotten.

“Oh, dove. Some of them have met you, I am sure of that”

Aziraphale was even more confused. “What do you mean?”

“Nevermind. Well, you are the first angel to actually talk to me. Granted we don’t know each other from before the fall, now you officially know a demon. Congrats, I guess.” 

He lied. He couldn’t explain everything again, he had already fallen, the next would be Aziraphale. It already took a lot of convincing during the trial to prove Aziraphale didn’t help him spy on the files. Which of course, he did. He could never say no to Crawly and stayed out of the office ready to give him a signal should anybody walk up the empty halls.

He protected his angel then, and he would stay close by to protect him now. He didn’t care about whether or not Aziraphale would ever love him again, this was not about him anymore. He would protect his angel through the countless years ahead, and that would have to be enough.

[jabirujack]

what would ur team be if you could only choose starters

Great question! I decided to make this a little harder on myself, since I have nostalgia problems and would probably just pick all three starters from gens I and II, and restricted myself to one starter per gen maximum!

Squirtle

I love this funky little guy. His design is so simple, but he’s so cute. And the fact that he turns into an absolute UNIT with literal cannons attached is an absolute bonus.

Chikorita

Look at this little green nugget. Amazing. Incredible. Show stopping. They attack by headbanging their lil’ leaf around. And they turn into Meganium who’s a beautiful flower who I bet would make any home smell fresh and lovely.

Mudkip

Little amphibian friend!! Mudkip was always a favorite in gen III, and I love that Swampert’s mega evolution just makes him huge and round.

Turtwig

There’s something about the gen IV starters… I dunno… I just feel like they have so much character to them, something special, a certain je ne sais quoi, that I can’t quite place. Anyway I love them all but this little turt makes me happiest to look at and I feel like I could sit in the shade of Torterra’s tree on his back and read as he walks me to the grocery store or something.

Litten

I am 110% a cat person. I love dogs too, but cats have stolen my heart. And this little fiesty fiery furball? Perfect. 10/10 would maybe evolve once (but not twice).

Grookey

I know absolutely nothing about this funky little monkey but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

[poop4u]

24 Must-Have Products for Dogs

#Poop4U

The post 24 Must-Have Products for Dogs by Dogster Admin appeared first on Dogster. Copying over entire articles infringes on copyright laws. You may not be aware of it, but all of these articles were assigned, contracted and paid for, so they aren't considered public domain. However, we appreciate that you like the article and would love it if you continued sharing just the first paragraph of an article, then linking out to the rest of the piece on Dogster.com.

Dog products. We’re passionate about them, and we’ve been writing about them, testing them and purchasing them for years. So, we’re really excited to bring back the Editors’ Choice awards that Dogster did for years (as Dog Fancy). With a trio of judges possessing more than 25 years of experience each, we’ve pawed and dug our way through more than 60 products in the categories of gear, toys, clothing, housewares, cleaning and tech to find the ones we believe are at the top of their game in originality, ease of use, attractiveness to both pet and human and usefulness. Here, in no particular order, are the winners.

Stumptown Jacket: The word “love” was thrown around by the judges when describing this dog jacket. Everyone was impressed with the design, durability, attractiveness, weight and the leash peephole for harnesses. It also includes a latch instead of a Velcro closure for a better fit. It’s water repellent, has a reflective trim, comes in two colors and six sizes. $64.95. Ruffwear; ruffwear.com

Restcyble Bed: The judges wagged about this sturdy dog bed that retains its shape and is made from recyclable materials — perfect for using in the house or outside on the porch. The remov- able, machine-washable, recycled micro-suede sleeping surface is soft and long-wearing with a built-in pillow topper. The foam is made from repurposed, post-manufac- turing closed cell foam. Comes in Cloudburst Gray or Huckleberry Blue. $99.95. Ruffwear; ruffwear.com

Impact Harness: The Impact Harness is built to Federal Motor Vehicle Safety Standards created for child restraints. All the furry judges found the harness comfortable to wear, and their humans loved that it was crash tested and easily integrates into the cars’ seatbelt systems. Has four adjustment points and comes in S, M, L and XL. $84.99. Kurgo; kurgo.com

SureFeed Microchip Pet Feeder Connect: A clever product that works great for feeding pets that need frequent meals, say our human judges. This automatic feeder works for both wet and dry food, has an LED guide to help you portion food correctly and removable parts for easy cleaning. Get the Hub ($62), so the feeder connects to the Sure Petcare app, where you can monitor when and how much your dog eats. $179.99. Sure Petcare; surepetcare.com

LickiMat Soother & LickiMat Buddy:  “Easy to use,” “easy to clean,” “works great” are words the judges used to describe these two boredom busters. These mats promote calm behavior by distracting your pet during a stressful time. Just spread a tasty treat on them and let the repetitive licking soothe your dog, releasing calming endorphins. Freeze for cold treats on hot days. $6 to $10.99. Hyper Pet LLC.; hyper-pet.com

Baxter Dog Backpack: Our furry judges wore these backpacks hiking and at the beach. Easy to put on, good fit and right size were used to describe it, and one human found it nice to have her dog carry some of her own stuff. This durable saddlebag has eight adjustment points, ergonomic spine support and perfect balance. Also has a large handle on the back. Comes in three colors and two sizes: the Baxter and the Big Baxter. $57.99. Kurgo; kurgo.com

PupRug Faux Fur Orthopedic Dog Bed: All dogs loved it right away, agree the judges. It’s filled with premium, long-lasting memory foam, and the soft faux fur cover is removable and washable. Has a non-skid bottom. Comes in two styles — curve white and rectangle gray — and three sizes — S/M, L/XL and Giant. $119-$199. Paw.com; paw.com

Evercare Stickey Roller Pet Collection: “These sticky rollers work great — better than any other roller I have tried when it comes to removing pet hair,” says one judge. And, although the judges sat up and begged for the entire collection, their favorites were the Evercare Giant Extra Sticky T-Handle Roller (70 layer) and the Evercare Mega Extra Sticky Roller (25 layer). The Giant worked great on furniture, and the Mega’s roller with the long handle was perfect for rugs. The whole collection has extra sticky adhesive and each sheet is razorcut, so it’s easy to tear. Available at Target. $4.49/Giant and $12.99/ Mega. Evercare; evercare.cleanerhomeliving.com Crazy Crew Toys: We tested both the Super Squeaking Deploraball and the Treat Dispensing Punky Ballster in this line of interactive and durable dog toys that roll, squeak, bounce and/or can be stuffed with goodies. Both received major tail wags from our judges — dogs and humans; the words “love them” and “tough” were used a lot. Available at amazon.com. $12.99/Punky Ballster and $6.99/Deploraball. Hyper Pet LLC; hyper-pet.com

Pet Driver’s License ID Tags: These customizable Pet ID tags look like real driver’s licenses. The collar tags are lightweight. The human judges thought they were fun and cute and great conversation starters about making sure your dog always has ID. Fill out the information and send in a photo, and the company sends you the license and three smaller versions for tags/keychains. Available for all U.S. states plus Canada. $19.95. MyPetDMV;mypetdmv.com

Car-Go Pop-Up Portable Kennel: Need comfortable, quick and safe containment in your home, car, hotel, RV or for waiting between dog events? You’ll love this popup kennel as much as the judges. It’s really easy to set up and take down. Just remove from the carrying case with its padded shoulder strap and give it a shake. Made to fit on the seats of most vehicles. Available in many sizes, shapes and a multitude of colors and prints. $110-$240. Sturdi Products Inc.; sturdiproducts.com

Everence Bracelet: What’s not to love about a handcrafted custom-beaded bracelet with semi-precious stones and sterling silver accents? And Everence takes it one step further — the bead is made from your pet’s DNA. Order the kit for your pet, and swab his mouth or order a kit to take DNA from your passed pet’s cremains. “I love the idea of carrying a little bit of my dog with me when I wear it,” says one judge. Customize the stones, bead colors and clasp styles. $129/one bead, $159/two beads and $199/three beads. Everence; everence.life

HPZ Pet Rover Prime Stroller & XL Stroller: Four paws up for these strollers. Great for daily use, plus they are wonderful for injured or senior dogs. Two of the judges had dogs with health issues and used the strollers so the dogs were still able to get outside for fresh air and mental stimulation. We loved the XL’s cup hold- er, expandable front and rear compart- ments, soft handles and how easy it is to put together. The Prime version has its own perk as a three-in-one product that also serves as a car seat and carrier. $196.86/XL and $209.86/Prime. HPZ; petroverusa.com

Petsafe Drinkwell 2-Gallon Pet Fountain: The judges loved how much fresh, flowing water the fountain held. All the dogs enjoyed it and, appar- ently, one of the cats, too! Another plus: There’s an adjustable flow control over the water stream where you can choose from nearly silent circulation on the lowest setting to a tranquil stream on the highest. $69.99. PetSafe; petsafe.com

Piddle Pads: Style, colors, usability, excellent, say our judges. Poured a whole glass of water on it to see if it would go through. It didn’t. Washes perfectly. Great if you have a puppy, an older dog or just want to protect furniture from a little leakage. Eco-friendly, the soft microfleece has an absor- bent middle layer that wicks mois- ture. 29 x 29 inches in size. $14.95. Dr. Judy Morgan Naturally Healthy Pets; drjudymorgan.com

Klimb Dog Training Platform: “I love this for training, and the dogs love it, too,” says one of our judges. “They jump on it because they have so much fun getting trained.” This platform is crafted to be just large enough for a dog. To remain perched on it, a dog must have “quiet feet,” which requires a focused mind for effective training. It’s easy to put together and can be used to train a variety of things — just watch the video that walks you through it. $159.95. Blue-9 Pet Products; blue-9.com

  Blaze Cross Dog Shoes: These are some protective dog shoes — made of water-resistant, tightly woven nylon mesh and breathable synthetic leather upper, plus a sole designed to mimic the structure of the dog’s pads. They have a great fit due to the double closure around the ankle. Judges found them well-made, easy to put on and perfect for hiking long distance in rugged terrain. Sizes XS to XL. $63.99/set of four. Kurgo; kurgo.com

Andis Cordless Nail Grinder: The Cordless Nail Grinder has six different speeds to take on your dog’s nail job, no matter the size. It runs for three hours on a single charge. Comfortable and easy to use, the judges like that it was cordless, not too loud and makes doing nails at home so much easier. $54.99. Andis Company; andis.com

Up Country Collars: Great colors, patterns and fit — all the judges agree that Up Country’s collars are something to bark out loud about. The judges tested the Funky Fish, Pink Madras and Evil Genius patterns. All ribbon collars come in a variety of lengths and in three widths. Stain and fray resistant; the collar ribbons are designed to last a lifetime. $23. Up Country; upcountryinc.com

Spina Organics All-Natural Grooming Products: While our human and furry judges enjoyed Spina Organics’ whole line of grooming products, these three in particular wowed. The Miracolo Oil Hot Spot Treatment works great, and the judges loved that it was organic. The Fur Detangler Leave-In Conditioner was amazing in how it left the fur so smooth and smelling great. The Daily Facial Cleanse really cleaned plus was easy to use. $17.50/9 ounce and $3/2.2 ounce for Daily Facial Cleanse; $16/9 ounce and $3/2.2 ounce for Fur Detangler Leave-In Conditioner; $25/1-ounce Miracolo Oil Hot Spot Treatment. Spina Organics; spinaorganics.com

Metro Balls: “Held up well with our chewer,” describes one of our human judges. “Tough with a good bounce … Holds up to his constant chomping,” says another. Made with nontoxic felt, these fun and bright dog balls contain no toxic gas. Size is 21⁄2 inches and available colors are pink, orange, black, seafoam and yellow. (Mini balls at 2 inches for smaller dogs are also available). $12.99/pack of three. Metro Paws; metropaws.com

Dog Med Laser: The only home-use certified Low Level Laser that can be used on dogs (and cats) suffering from osteoarthri- tis, hip and elbow dysplasia, spinal disk conditions and patellar luxation. This laser does not burn, does not generate heat and there are no risks to the eyes. “After reading and fol- lowing the directions carefully, the laser was easy to use and my dog seemed to really enjoy the soothing motion of the brush while using the laser,” says one of the judges. $499. Remedia Laser Systems Ltd.; dogmedlaser.com

Honorable mentions …

Two products we loved enough to give them a special mention.

Bergan by Coastal Backpack Style Carrier Have you ever been on a long hike where your dog gets tired or perhaps he’s getting up in years and needs a little help? You’ve probably looked for a backpack just like this — with padded straps for comfortable carrying and mesh windows for your dog to look out and expandable pockets for all your pup’s stuff. Our judges liked it for its ease of portability and use, plus its soft, machine-washable base. Comes in one size and one color. $69.99. Coastal Pet Products, Inc.; coastalpet.com

The Pet Gazebo Looking for something pretty different to a traditional crate or kennel solution? The portable Pet Gazebo can fit into a home, outdoor entertaining area or even go camping. It comes with a neutral Earth Taupe canopy (although five additional canopy styles are available) and four sizes (3, 4, 5 or 8 foot). The canopy is also available in a reversible weather-resistant canopy. Judges liked that it was sturdy, attractive, easy to use and tall enough to go in and clean. $129-$459. The Pet Gazebo; petgazebo.com

Meet This Year’s Editors’ Choice Judges

  Jill Breitner, an animal advocate and dog body language expert/dog trainer, has been helping people help their dogs for over 40 years. The opportunity to test these products with her companions offered delight for her and for them. Their thrill couldn’t be contained. Enrichment abounded with each package. What fun!

  Melissa L. Kauffman has worked in the pet world for more than 25 years in a variety of magazines and websites from Pet Product News, Aquarium Fish, Ferrets, Rabbits and Bird Talk to Catster and Dogster. Her dogs Justice and Tampa have been modeling for said magazines since they were puppies and are amazing, experienced pet-product testers. Also, let’s give a shout-out to Boston Terrier Boomer, Morkie Karma and Cockapoo Baby for lending a paw testing out products, too.

  Audrey Pavia is a former managing editor of Dog Fancy magazine and former senior editor of the American Kennel Club Gazette. A member of Dog Writers Association of America, she has written hundreds of articles on dogs for a variety of publications and is the author of The Labrador Retriever Handbook (Barrons). Audrey lives in Norco, California, with her rescue dogs Candy and Mookie, who had a great time testing this year’s fun and innovative products.

The post 24 Must-Have Products for Dogs by Dogster Admin appeared first on Dogster. Copying over entire articles infringes on copyright laws. You may not be aware of it, but all of these articles were assigned, contracted and paid for, so they aren't considered public domain. However, we appreciate that you like the article and would love it if you continued sharing just the first paragraph of an article, then linking out to the rest of the piece on Dogster.com.

Poop4U Blog via www.Poop4U.com Dogster Admin, Khareem Sudlow

[abiteofnat]

Big news, big news! Turns out there are great apples in NYC, however, they might not be the kind of organic fruit you’re thinking of. Try picturing a glossy, perfectly green, Snow White’s evil stepmother kind of apple, presented on a little gold coaster and begging you to take a bite. Inside, it’s not full of vitamins, it’s full of soft cake, apple jelly cubes, and a light frosting containing it all within the illusion. Sounds muuccchhh better to me, especially when served with an iced rose-syrup infused latte. Yum? YUM.

You can find both of those delicacies in NYC at LRoom, an entirely out of place heaven in the middle of a scummy street in the middle of nowhere between Flatiron and Soho, the last place you would expect to turn into and find bright pink chairs, beautiful mega-roses in the middle of each table, and a menu packed with delicate drinks and artistic desserts. A rose that is in fact a sugary treat, a little bao made of white chocolate, and milk tea and coffee that tasted worlds away from the gimmicky flavors I feared. The wonderful thing about NYC is that appearance means nothing, and passion means everything. This place is no Sarabeth’s, old-school and filled with the richy-rich. Sarabeth’s is subpar. LRoom is a refreshing cafe where my mom could picture editors sneaking away to to work, and where the exterior completely defies the experience once seated. LRoom was one of my favorite shocks of the weekend, however we went somewhere I found on a whim when trying to secure a post-airport dinner on a Friday night, not too far from The Edition in Flatiron that we called home for a few days. Sidebar- if you can, stay there, and you will feel like metropolitan Rapunzel tucked away in a gorgeous clocktower hovering above the park. The decor is cozy and bold, yet simplistic and full of wood, warm lighting, and delicious smelling scents.

This location led me to La Pecora Bianca NoMad, an inviting Italian restaurant that felt modern and cool, but with old-school dishes done exceptionally well. With pastel green chairs and funky wallpaper providing accent against the otherwise white space, this place was packed at 9PM on Friday and everything smelled incredible as soon as we walked in. I ordered the house rose, which the server let me know was better than any wine he had while in Spain, and while I was like “yeah ok dude” before trying it, my world was rocked once I took a sip. It was clean, dry, sweet, smooth, wet (?), literally everything you could want from a cold, crisp rose. Holy fuck. I need to order bottles as soon as I’m done writing this. If not for the incredible burrata with figs and giant hunks of scrumptious bread, and the Spaghetti with pomodoro sauce, GO FOR THE ROSE. Back to the pasta- this may be the most memorable bowl of pasta I’ve ever had. The noodles were al dente and a pleasure to chew through, and the sauce was fresh and tangy with a hint of garlic, and a lingering sweetness. I didn’t even get cheese on top because I just wanted to savor the divine combination of spaghetti + sauce, a tale as old as time, and a flavor mashup I will never grow old of. Bellisimo.

Outside of those superstars, we visited some favorite haunts and had a truly perfect weekend of eating. If you’re headed to NYC for a few days and wish to avoid midtown, here’s my guide! Go nuts! Go ham! Avoid tourist shitholes for all you are worth!

1. La Pecora Bianca - the ideal dinner spot. I will 100% be back.

2. Dough Donuts - do NOT SKIP THESE DONUTS. They are fat, chewy, perfectly glazed, and the first placed I dragged my family to the minute we checked into the hotel. The lemon poppyseed is a work of art and perfectly, perfectly sweet with a sour kick.

3. LRoom - come prepared to take photos and let your inner Instagram monster live its best life.

4. abcV - a wonderful, chic spot to try truly interesting & fantastic food. Highlights of our meal included: sticky rice, candied tempeh, spinach campanelle with saffron breadcrumbs, dosa, and green chickpea hummus. Make a reservation or arrive right at 5:30PM when they open- this place pops off.

5. Veniero’s - a family staple & perfect post-Broadway show nightcap. Show up ready to sit down in an old-school Italian bakery and enjoy coffee, cannoli (REAL cannoli), and cheesecake unlike you’ve ever had. This place owns my soul and I think about the chocolate cannoli filling every day of my life.

6. Sadelle’s - DO YOU LIKE BAGELS? DO YOU LIKE ORANGE JUICE IN A WINE GLASS? DO YOU LIKE FEELING LIKE IT’S THE 1960′S? You will love Sadelle’s, and you should make a reservation.

Time for another trip yet?!?!?!

Until next time, Happy Eating!

- Natalie