#it pains me to put this massive painting into this tiny feed so i hope some of you will look at it on desktop rip

[finngualart]

this started out as a simple desire to turn this cute shot of kayvan and harvey into nandor and guillermo but then idk the madness overtook me

[theredsuzuran]

Yandere Muzan x Reader

I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors, also for my crappy writing I hope It does not bore you lol. Slight mention of gore

It was the time of summer

A multitude of people hovering over one another in the vast space of the lively Asakusa city occupying the streets like tiny ants. Unfortunately it was same monotonous sight for kibutsuji Muzan progenitor of the morbid demon race, who seems to be roaming around uninterestingly looking for a suitable prey to hunt. The fleeting lives of mortals, their compassion, happiness, sorrow, pain held no value to him. They are pests who belong in the dirt or beneath his feet, inferior compare to a perfect being like himself. Nothing more than a tool that he won't hesitate to discard after his desires are fulfilled. All of a sudden his gaze felt upon a petite figure near a tailor shop, a large number of people gathering around her.

What's the matter, mister? Muzan inquired to a man next to him.

"if you are new definitely try her kimonos, now make way" the man said quickly as he rushed to the shop pushing all the people away. He was interested to know what the deal was about so he decided to stay for a while hoping it's worth the wait.

After a long delay muzan finally got the chance to view the women. As their eyes locked the dazzling city lights broader than the day itself felt dull in comparison for a moment, the once monochromatic world seems to change vibrantly with her luminous presence, As if goddess Amaterasu, the diety of sun herself have ascended from the heaven into the mortal realm. The demon lord stood there mesmerized by her breathtaking beauty, how can someone so close to perfection exist alongside those barbarians.

"How can I help you mister?" She questioned politely with her soft vocal. His endless thoughts were interrupted breaking the silence.

"Show me your kimonos"

And so his obsession started..

Days passed since his last encounter with the woman. He have come across numerous marvelous humans in everlasting lengthy life but never have his ruby eyes caught a glimpse of someone as alluring as her. The girl possesses an unique aura that differentiated her from the rest of the crowd, able to draw attention from the cold hearted creator of cannibalistic demons. At first muzan was just curious to know about that woman, possibly persuade her to become one of his underling because of the potentials she may carry. He frequently begun to visit her shop to but or sew different fabrics. Gaining basic information, like her name, likes and dislikes, etc. Her grandfather owned the tailor shop which sold finest quality garments from the beginning and were highly respected for their excellent tailoring. Continued by (y/n) at her family's will, who runs the shop with equal undying devotion.

She treated him with such kindness even though he was a ruthless demon not that she knew about it or let alone the existence of demons. The deepest corner of his dark heart illuminated with pure light whenever she was around and he came to the conclusion that she was the ray of sunshine he desires to perceive. Eversince he was cured from his fatal illness the only goal in his life was to conquer the sun which prevents him to achieve absolute perfection, in order to live an eternal and indestructible life or so he thought until that very day his eyes laid upon you. It would be stupid to think that demons are capable of experiencing love, concepts of feelings are completely foreign in their conciousness, it was more like obsession. His megalomania makes him believe he needs you no he wants you.

Alas, if only it was a fairytale. The king does not always gets what he desires and same goes for the demon lord when he finds out that his beloved darling already has a lover. As he witnessed the sight of you hugging your partner with passion. The way her eyes flutter infront of him when he caresses her cheeks making her turn away bashfully and how she hold his hand with her delicate ones while exchanging vows of love and loyalty towards each other made his blood boiled with fury. If anyone who can hold her fragile frame is none other but the demon lord himself yet there she was sharing intimacy with some filthy creature. His narcissistic self was put down with a lowlife, he cannot accept that his (y/n) was claimed someone else's. It was something he would never allow to happen.

"Kibutsuji san would you like to buy something today as well?" The women who now acknowledge his presence asked him cheerfully.

"Should I visit you later" a force smile graced on his pale features.

"Oh no, it's fine, let me introduce you to my fiancee" she said excitedly.

"Nice to meet you kibutsuji san" your fiancee said

"Pleasure to meet you as well" The demon scoffed under his breath but Kibutsuji was quite adamant he knew it was not hard to turn the tables anytime sooner as with a blink of an eye he can get rid of him by simply ordering his underlings without even hesitating to dirty his hands exclusive for his precious darling. But that was not what muzan was planning to do at all as his mind was engulfed with much sinister thoughts.

To insanity?

"You have been restless for a long time, what's wrong my child?" A man asked with a look of concern written all over his face looking straight at the figure of an anxious woman roaming around impatiently within the house.

"Its been a week father since he last wrote a letter to him" she mumbled softly disappointment painted across her features. The father could not help but laugh a little by her daughter's remark.

"Father please it is serious"

"I am sorry sweetheart but it might be that your fiancee is busy with wedding preparation" which made sense because the wedding would be taking place after three day and it was obvious that he was caught up with the arrangement. However there was a strange feeling inside her stomach which made her believe otherwise.

As the days passed the wedding day came close, with (y/n) still not receiving any message from her lover. Worried her to the core at this point all she wanted was to make sure of his safety as something constantly felt off. The guests came in one by one for the wedding ceremony but there was no sign of the groom.

It was getting unbearable for her to remain confined. Ignoring her father's request to stay inside she went outside in hope to check whether or not her lover was approaching but once again she was greeted with emptiness. Her eyes swell up with tears forming on both corners allowing her body to slowly hit the surface as she convinced herself that her lover will never come. The worst was yet to happen and before she could make any movement the ground beneath her feet started shaking and a shoji door opened consuming her into the darkness.

It was just the start of her miserable life under the demon's control.

"So you are finally awake", a sudden voice came echoing into her eyes as she slowly opened her eyes after regaining her consciousness. She moved her hands upwards in order to ease the headache only to find her hands tied up with shackles, a chilling sensation of overwhelming fear filled her entire senses as she remembered what happened prior.

"Where am I? Why am I chained?" Who are you?" she demanded furiously at the mysterious figure infront her which was now advancing at her direction from the dark corner of the dimly litted room.

"You are quite an impatient one?" The man gripped her chin roughly as her eyes protruded out with bewilderment.

"Can't even remember your daily customer?" A wicked smile curved across his countenance.

"K..Kibutsuji san" she parted her lips. Tears forming in her eyes once again. This made muzan even more irritated as he tightened his grip on her chin. (Y/n) whimpered with pain crying out loud.

"Your shouting won't help dear nobody apart from me can hear you scream" he said bluntly with his cold apathetic voice.

"Why?" (Y/n) lowered her head down holding his hand with her delicate ones trying her best to get a hold of him.

"Pardon?" Muzan inquired as he stared at your quivering form with his souless eyes there was no empathy in them or whatsoever although he felt pity. He cannot deny the fact that he was indeed attracted to her that's the reason why he put her into so much hassles.

"Where is my lover?" She asked sternly with her voice shaking a bit.

"Oh" muzan responded his hand still holding her chin tightly. This made her even more anxious she was unaware of the power he might possess and definitely she didn't had any intentions to risk her life.

"Why can't you humans move on and accept circumstances given before you?" it startled her as she cannot process what he meant.

"I don't.. u..understand" she said.

"Then you have to learn to accept me as your partner" muzan replied coldly (y/n) sat there looking at him with disbelief her heart and soul belonged to someone else and for a long time they have been together it's absolutely impossible to change the reality she was accustomed with just because some maniac wants to make her his partner.

"I can never" she murmured with disgust hinted in her voice. "I love him" throwing daggers in his direction not ready to submit her futile attempts of protest should pissed the demon lord even more but to her surprise she saw him smiling menacingly and in the corner of her eyes she saw the figure of her debilitate lover.

"Start from his fingers" muzan ordered one of his subordinate as they began chopping one of his finger making him scream in pain.

"No! please don't hurt him" trying to break free from the shackles she was tied with realizing it was fruitless she fell on the demon's knee begging with all the strength left within her in a last desperate attempt.

"You left me with no other choice, dear" he explained playing his sick games of manipulation on her. This was exactly what he needed to break her mind and she cannot help but rely on him pleading for his forgiveness feeding on his massive ego providing him ultimate satisfaction to witness the quivering frame of his darling clinging onto his knee in pure submission.

"Please I will do anything you say" she requested shaking like crazy.

"Anything?" Muzan questioned raising his eyebrow

"Yes" she replied without any hesitation.

"Be mine"

She already knew that he wanted this and she readily obliged in order to save her beloved, sacrificing her own life. Her only purpose was now to satisfy the demon lord, he was successful until the very end and it won't take long to make her completely his.

[siderealxmelody]

The Frightful Secret {Coulson}

@sigynofficial - my answer to what drove Loki to the Mind Stone and subsequent insanity.

@continuingthefamilyname - this is very marvel focused I apologize, but I wanted to share.

@armandlucienduval

@agentsterling - no need to read this if you don't want to. But since you asked about Sof...I thought I'd share.

@thevictoryofthepeople - this is very marvel focused I apologize, but I wanted to share.

@candy-addicted-angel - this is very marvel focused I apologize, but I wanted to share.

@waywardlightbearer

Tl;dr for people who don't want to read/don't know what's happening. Majority of my races (sans humans) believe in creator called Eyn Sof and that it destroyed itself to better guide the many races as their many different gods. All gods are aspects of this one Eyn Sof. It is benevolent and all loving....except that all is a lie. All of creation/multiverse is a giant experiment done to appease It. A indescribable entity that exists outside of reality. It was put into motion by It's helpers who my race see as messengers from Eyn Sof, who they think of as sentient stars, meant to watch over and guide them through life. The messengers go to great lengths to make sure no one ever knows this truth, for it will shatter anyone who learns it.

It sat before him, calm and level headed. Perhaps it knew, perhaps it understood what was stalking Inhumanes he'd been saving. 

"What are you? Why were you hovering over one of my fallen agents?"

"I am only here to help Mr.Coulson, I mean no harm. You saved one of my people, I mean to only return the favor."

Coulson nodded filing that note for later. Rosa Incara, she'd been held captive for 5 years by a madman. He'd been a renowned painter till he'd fallen off the radar some 3 years ago. 

His team had only gotten involved because his paintings held some inhumane markers - the same ones he'd felt a need to draw. 

She'd been like this, detached but cooperative. Then she'd disappeared from her cell, in the ensuing manhunt this one had shown up. Coulson didn't like to be in the dark, didn't like not understanding the bigger picture.

"Where is Ms.Rosa now Mr.?"

The man gave a thin smile and nodded.

"Right, a name, Slate. Call me Slate. She is safe, home."

"Why were you near my agent? She feels fine but -"

"She will be, she...there is much you do not know. I fear to tell you but -"

"Please, share Slate. If whatever you know will keep humanity safe then -"

"The - everything is matter yes? Stars, planets...people? It's all made of atoms and those atoms - no - no this isn't...imagine the universe is orbiting a giant blackhole, like the center of your galaxy, can you picture that?" 

Coulson was skeptical about this exercise but nodded. 

"Yes, I can picture it. Go on."

Slate nodded and looked at his hands. 

"The universe is slowly being shredded, feeding the blackhole. Don't ask how it first came to be that's all whole different explanation. Regardless, the universe is being shredded right? All of that matter needs to go somewhere. It - it goes to The Hallow Lands. Do you know it? Have you heard the term?"

Coulson nodded, he had. When he'd been stabbed by one of the Chaturi blades he'd saw the Chaturi's deepest fear - a place of never ending dread. He'd asked Lady Sif about it after he'd come back and she'd called it The Hallow Lands, a face worse than Hel. 

"I know it, yes. What's your point?"

"My people, we - we weren't much more advanced than you when we pierced the veil separating our world from It. We moved through a blackhole and decided to go deeper in it and not out. It - do you know Eyn Sof? Do you know the story the Celestials and other aliens say of it?"

He nodded Sif had been much more willing to tell this one. He hadn't been too moved by the story, he was surprised though that so many races worshiped it. 

"That it existed with us at the dawn of the universe. It wished to understand us and guide us. We wished to worship and love it but could not speak to it. So it-"

"Tore itself apart into infinite tiny pieces so it could permeate every atom, so that we could all have a tiny piece of it with us from the moment we are born till our death. This shift cracked the first universe into the multiverse we know now. Yes, yes, exactly. That - well we didn't know that the story would catch on quite as much as it did."

Coulson felt something in him shift, a piece of ice traveling from his brain and into his blood. Something about this felt wrong, as if his very being didn't want to know - didn't want to understand what he was hearing. 

He gripped the arms of his chair and took a deep breath. He began to note how reluctant this Slate had been for the last few minutes. He pushed his worry as to why down. This could help his team, could help him understand what was going on. What had been going on since he'd heard about the missing painter. 

"Slate, just tell me. This - this stopping and starting is wearing thin."

"Are you sure Mr.Coulson this knowledge isn't one you can't take back. It will be seared into the minds of all who hear it. Though I suspect you already know what I am going to say. You've been there remember?"

Coulson blinker and the panic subsided. He felt like himself again, and he knew he had this thing. 

"How do you know that? Were you a part of Operation Tahiti? Did you-"

"No, no, my people went through the blackhole Coulson, we saw It. Call it God, the Devil whatever you wish...it was beyond such simplistic names. It didn't like us there of course but we said we could help it understand everything outside of its realm. It agreed, and we got to work...I - I work as a Reaper Mr.Coulson, I take the dead to It for it to understand and study. It lives their lives, feels their pain...it has walked so many lives Mr.Coulson more than I could quantify. As to how I know? You shouldn't have tried to bring people back, your friends shouldn't have tried to bring you back..your thread had been cut and now it's been reknotted and allowed to continue. I wonder whose thread you've taken. A soldier's? A doctor's? A murder's?"

Coulson refused to look away or rise to this thing's bait. 

"Is that what Rosa was? A Reaper is that why Avery kept her locked-"

"No, no, she - she is a Sower, she gives inspiration, her kind measure the thread of each life...she shouldn't have been here. But Sowers tend to be fascinated about the lives they've measured out - she got too close...beings tend to become addicted to her and her...life-force."

Coulson just nodded, it was horrible but made sense with all the bruises she'd suffered. 

"Right, still doesn't explain why you're-"

"My race deals with the living Mr.Coulson, but there are other bits of matter, stars and planets...do you know what deals with those? We call them Pests they were from our world as well and are voracious. They can't feel anything, they've adapted too well to The Hallow Lands but they yearn for the living, for feeling and experience -"

"What are you saying Slate? That one - one of these Pests is here?"

"Yes, why do you think my kind carry scythes? It isn't for working the fields, it's to keep our threads safe from the pests who wish devour it...One had scented your anomaly and has come to take care of it...I'm here to kill it."

Coulson nodded and shuffled his papers, hoping to calm himself. He stood and asked before he could stop himself.

"What does all of this have to do with Eyn Sof? Why are you so reluctant to speak on that?"

"Because Eyn Sof as you all know it is a lie. It - it isn't evil or good, it just is. We were tasked to make a mutliverse to a particular frequency and look. Each thread weaves a giant multiversal tapestry that It watches Mr.Coulson. The frequency? It is tuned to be a massive symphony only it can hear...of course this is how we understand it. I'm sure to us it is all odd but to it we are -"

"Eyn Sof isn't real?"

He tried to ignore how his voice quivered. Wasn't this what Loki had said as he'd been dragged away? Was this what he had meant? 

Slate gave him a sad smile and shook his head.

"No, no, we needed a unifying theme and thought to slip in this story to even everything out. It is real but Eyn Sof and all the legends that surround Them aren't. I'm sorry Mr.Coulson. I implore you for your own safety, don't tell Thor or any of the other aliens you end up meeting...I'm not sure if they'd believe you. More importantly, I'm not sure if they'd allow you to go unscathed. I will need your help in tracking down this Pest once it is slain I will leave. Your world will be safe from threats like me or my kind."

Coulson nodded and turned and locked the door to the interrogation room. He was thankful he'd decided to interrogate this one at one of his hidden black sites. 

He took the tape out of the control room and destroyed it till it was a pile of ash. No one - no one needed to know what he did. 

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Dragon Dancer II: The First Trial of Yamir

I settled on the couch eying the monitors in front of me. Caesar had everything set up, put his own headset on and took his place by my side. While he was also running logistical support for the expedition, his primary task was to keep me - the Asset - comfortable and available for work. 

Johann, Lu and Nono were already down in the chasm and streaming their feed through body cameras so I could see exactly what they were seeing. It was standard operating procedure for these types of expeditions.

They stood in front of the main gate, the text I had translated written out in splendid carving underneath an arched depiction of the marine Dragon’s twisting body.

“Once we go in, there’s no coming out until the end. I hope you’re ready.” I said.

Master List

Johann Chu stepped forward, reading the text in his usual flawless pronunciation of draconic. The double leaved doors opened wide, letting them into the cavernous space. As soon as they opened, I felt a change in the atmosphere. I shuddered, a chill running up my spine. I took a cautious breath.

“The first trial is the rice field.” I said. “Can you show me the walls?”

Sure enough, all around them were stalks of grain, depictions of cranes, cats and terraced hills.

“This is where Yamir grew up.” I said.

Lu Mingfei looked around the cavern’s hieroglyphic paintings. “Is this going to be the dragon’s whole life?”

“Yes.” I answered simply.

“Keep chatter to a minimum.” Caesar growled.

“Yes, boss!”

They stopped, aiming their cameras at a giant human form ahead of them, a man, kneeling down. “What’s this?” Johann asked.

I squinted at it. “Yes, this is correct. Can you put me on speaker? Turn up the volume if you could.” I opened my mouth and began to speak the draconic as instructed by Ielia.

The millstone of life goes on moving, Yamir weeps as he is seated

Between the layers of truth and untruth, no one is spared 

The millstone of life goes on moving, Yamir observes as he is seated

He who holds the anchor of His name, will always remain unhurt! 

EVAs voice came through the computer.  “The dragon palace mechanisms are activating and a new route has opened.”

A rumble underground shook the building. Over the speakers, the sound of a cataract as a torrent of water began to flow into the cavern.

Johann’s voice “We’re moving. The stone slab we’re on is sliding forward.”

His camera showed the statue of the man suddenly coming to life and standing up. It was about nine feet tall and bearing a large sickle but it turned its back to them and did not attack.

I kept my voice as soft as I could, mindful that deep breathing was painful, but still the twinging pain sparked in my chest.

Don’t leave me now, O Breath, I am a wanderer, a wanderer!

Still have to travel faraway lands 

O the one who is asleep, awake!

Our Master has made this body like a palace, 

And He played the instrument of breath within! 

Our Master has made this body like a garden,

And how He's filled it with a bowl of flowers!

They were reaching the end of the passageway to another double leaved door.

“Okay… take me off speaker…” It hurt worse than I wanted to let on. I was starting to sweat from it, despite the high dose ibuprofen. “Repeat after me… all of you have to do it…”

"He who follows the truth will attain the kingdom of immortality."

The sound of their voices echoed through my headset. The power of the words made me dizzy as it was an active draconic speech, not just a pretty song. The doors lit up on the screen, bright light filling a winding pattern of vines and serpents. They opened. The team floated through them.  Lu’s camera swung as he looked behind them. As soon as they were through, the doors shut and they were plunged into darkness.

“Oh no…” He whimpered.

Caesar was watching me, mindful of my deteriorating condition. “Can we break here?”

I shook my head but before I could answer, Johann spoke. “We’ve got trouble.”

Three pairs of bright red eyes blazed in the pitch black. These statues were massive, standing near twice the height of their current benevolent escort, with faces that grimaced with fangs and serpent tongues and multiple arms bearing scimitars.

Caesar’s crystal blue eyes met mine. “What do we do?”

The team all drew their weapons.

“Stop!” I shout and immediately regret it, doubling over.

The first and smaller statue lowered its sickle, then turned to look at them. It’s face was angelically calm and peaceful.

“When I say run… you have to run…” I gasp.

I stared at the screen. The smaller statue ran forward, sickle above its head. But all I could see was the image of Yamir’s father. 

“Run!”

The massive statues swung their scimitars down on the sickle wielder with crushing force. Its weapon was tiny in comparison. Its gears groaned and began snapping under the pressure. Stones rained down on the crew as they sprinted through the behemoth legs towards the back of the cavern where the doors were sliding shut.

The guardian statue crumbled and the scimitar wielders were hacking it to pieces. I realized that the only reason I could see this was because someone had stopped and was watching.

“JOHANN! GO!” Caesar roared into the headset.

Why did he stop? Frozen in fear and desperation, I was silent until I saw him start to run again. The doors ahead were closing. Thankfully his body was thin enough to squeeze through the space left. The doors shut on his jacket, however.

He yanked at it while Caesar berated him. “What part of run do you not understand? Those things would have smashed you!”

Johann drew his sword and cut his jacket loose. “Sorry…” His quiet voice wasn’t as smooth as it usually was.

“Please don’t do that again…” I said, sitting up, cradling one arm around my chest. “There’s a break here. Do you see anything that looks like a fern or a bush? Go find it and wait under it.”

There was. A massive arching fern painting took over the entire wall on their right.

“Are you alright, Senpai?” Lu asked. Johann didn’t reply.

I wiped the sweat from my brow and got my glass of water.

Caesar crossed his arms, looking at the screen. Opposite the painting of the fern was the painting of a woman lying prone, eyes closed.

“Wait here…” I said. “Until it starts to rain…”

[shreddedparchment]

To Be Seen Pt.05

Seen With Sorrow

03/09/2019

Pairing: Thor x Reader          Word Count: 9,011

*Masterpost in Notes     Warnings: language, angst, sex flashbacks, rage

A/N: This and the chapter that follows were supposed to be just one but it was totaling at more than 17K words so I decided to split it. I hope you enjoy these next two chapters. I am very sleepy so I will edit them again tomorrow but I wanted to post them since I know a lot of you have been waiting and I’m so excited to share what has happened. As always, if you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work. xoxo

Being around Thor again is unbearable and intoxicating at the same time.

You want to stare at him because despite yourself and the pain that you endured four years ago, Thor is still the only man you’ve been able to picture a life with.

You'd loved him before, no matter that it was only a three week relationship. And if you’re honest with yourself—though you will deny this until you're blue in the face—you still do on some level.

He's Ben's father and that makes him indispensable and off the charts important. Unless he hurts your boy. Then he's worth shit and you'll find a way to hurt him, cut him into tiny pieces, and feed him to the stray cats!

Thor seems to notice the hostility in your thoughts as you take your chef's knife and jam the sharp tip into your cutting board.

He physically jumps in his spot beside you and slowly lowers his own knife, placing it beside his own cutting board currently laden with a half sliced carrot.

“Okay, perhaps you truly do not need my help.” Thor sidles out of the kitchen giving you a fearful look before he joins Ben at the small table in the seat opposite where you usually sit with your back to the kitchen.

In the seat he chooses, Thor is able to look between you and Ben easily. He stares at you for a few more seconds before Ben's teeny hand very softly rubs against Thor's large right one, tracing the length of his pointer finger and easily stealing his attention.

You continue to cut several pieces of chicken breast into smaller sizes so that once it's cooked you can cut it even smaller for Ben.

As you drop the first few pieces, you add a dash of seasoning and let the tender pale pink meat sizzle in your skillet. You multi-task as you always do while cooking and while the meat cooks you quickly fill your rice cooker and measure just enough water so that it'll be sticky and easy for Ben to eat.

You slide back over to your stove and flip the chicken before looking up at Ben and Thor.

Your heart soars for a moment before it drops into your stomach and a painful clench starts at the center of your chest and then works it’s way up into your throat to choke you.

Ben is sitting in Thor's lap, kneeling actually, looking smaller than ever as he strokes Thor's bearded cheeks and chin with his tiny hands.

What is he doing? Memorizing his daddy's face? He's staring at it for sure, staring into Thor's eyes as Thor stares right back, his massive hands cradled gently on Ben's sides.

He's so small in Thor's hands and arms that Thor's hands, although they’re resting on either side of Ben, wrap around your boy's back completely so that his large fingers overlap.

They’re not talking. Neither of them says a single word as they stare at each other before Ben throws his arms around Thor's neck and hugs him, resting his chin against Thor's hard left shoulder.

Thor hugs him back, wrapping him up in his arms then kisses Ben's blonde head then his neck and shoulder, and you've wanted go see that perfect picture for so long you can’t stand it. You’re so close to tears that you force yourself to look away from them.

You rush to the carrots beside you and start to chop them up, moving with frantic energy. Your Vision blurs as your eyes mist over, threatening heavy hot tears. You move your hands faster, cutting almost blindly until a sharp slicing pain shocks you into dropping your knife onto the floor as you take a step back.

You gasp as the shocking pain gives way to a searing burn.

“Ow! Sh-shoot.” You adjust the word quickly, even upset as you are and as easy as you’ve always been with the swears, Ben’s little ears are pure and you’re going to keep them that way as long as possible.

Luckily, you'd pulled your hand back fast enough that your blood only got on the counter and floor.

Ben's carrots are still okay. You haven’t ruined his lunch. This is your worry as you hold your right hand tightly curled around your left index finger. That is most important.

“Mommy!” Ben exclaims.

“I’m okay, sweet pea. Just a cut.” You assure him but you look up to find him already squirming out of Thor’s arms who is also watching you with worried eyes.

He puts Ben down then rises to his feet and moves towards the kitchen after your son who’s running for you.

“Wait, no, Benny, there’s blood on the floor.” You warn him but he looks from your tightly clutched finger, blood seeping from the tight cracks, then up to your face where you suddenly realize those tears from before had spilled over with the pain of your cut.

Ben stops at the end of the kitchen by the counter and his mouth curves into a very pronounced upside-down U with his full lower lip jutting out as he frowns. That little lip quivers and his eyes flood with tears as he watches you silently cry and in seconds he’s crying too.

His cry is a loud emotional sobbing and it breaks your heart because you know he’s only crying because you are, and he sees the blood, so he thinks you’re hurt worse than he is.

“Ben, I’m okay.” You assure him.

However, he continues to stand there with his hands clenched into little fists before he lifts them up to his eyes as he continues to cry heavily, loudly, filling your home with his heartbreaking sobs.

Thor takes a step towards you, his brow furrowed at the blood gushing from your hand onto the floor, but you shake your head as he lifts his eyes to yours and freezes. His first instinct needs to be to tend to Ben! You look pointedly at your baby and Thor knows instantly what you’re saying.

“Ben, your mother is alright, nothing to worry about. It is just a small cut. Is it not, Y/N?” He asks you, pressing a tender hand to the back of Ben's little head.

“Yes, of course.” You assure your baby boy, but Ben is inconsolable, and he only cries harder.

Thor drops to his knees and pulls Ben into his arms to hold him close. Ben’s hands fist Thor’s shirt as he buries his face against his chest and continues to cry while stealing blue-eyed glances at you.

You know that he’ll only continue to cry until you’re holding him, so you quickly move to the sink and wash your finger with water then pull a small towel from the drawer by your sink and wrap it tightly around your cut.

“Oh, sweet pea,” You gush and squat down and open your arms for him. “Come here, Ben.”

He pulls away from Thor eagerly and rushes into your arms, successfully sidestepping the small pool of blood by the counter where you’d been cutting.

You hold him close, rubbing his little back with your uninjured hand and sigh as his crying rises in pitch for a minute as Thor hurries to the stove to tend to the chicken.

“I will finish cooking this. Go and tend to your hand.” Thor instructs and you’re so eager to settle Ben’s tiny worried heart that you get up and carry him with you out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and into the bathroom at the end of the hallway on the right.

There’s nothing special about this bathroom. It has a beautiful and chic modern shower with dark red tiles on the floor and wall and stunning black steel borders around the glass door and walls. The floors of the bathroom are a dark gray ceramic tile, heated like your wooden floors; a light gray porcelain toilet, and a matching sink with a black steel faucet on a concrete black counter over which hangs a plain wide mirror.

You move to sit on the shut toilet seat, sighing as you settle Ben on your lap as he continues to sniffle but gladly is no longer bawling his poor eyes out. His usual bright blues are rimmed red, and his lower lip continues to quiver with every sniffle he makes.

“Ben, I need your help. Can you bring me the first aid kit from under the sink?” You need to get his mind off of your own tears downstairs.

As long as you get his mind busy, he’ll put your tears out of his mind and he’ll start to feel better.

Without a word he slides off of your lap and moves to the cabinet. He pulls the dark gray painted door open and leans in on his hands and knees to pull out the clear box with the big red plus sign in the middle of a plain white label. He struggles to both hold it with one hand and wiggle back and out, but he manages it and hurries to you. He turns to give you his back as soon as he reaches you wanting to be held again. You lift him back up onto your lap, careful not to use your injured finger, and place the first aid kit on his little lap before opening the box.

Ben isn’t leaving your lap until he absolutely must, and you know this, so you don’t fuss or ask him to get down as you hold him between your arms. You lean down to kiss his plump little cheek then hold your injured finger in front of him as you whisper.

“We can’t wrap it up until we know it’s not bleeding anymore. Should we check?”

“Yeah.” Ben says, sadness still lingering in his voice.

You kiss him again, loving him so much as you peel back the towel and look at the half inch slice in your skin. It’s not deep enough to need stitches but with the amount of blood spillage downstairs, you’d thought you’d need them.

“See, it already stopped bleeding.”

Ben smiles a little, happy to see that you’re not bleeding anymore, but it fades as you rifle through the supplies in the box and pull a small alcohol wipe.

“What is dat, Mommy?” Ben ask curiously.

You suddenly realize that you’ve never needed to use a first aid kit in front of him. He’s never been cut or injured in any way since he’d been born.

“It’s an alcohol wipe.” You tear the small and square paper wrapper to expose the moistened corner then split the rest open and pull it out. “I’m going to wipe my cut with it to clean it.”

“Weew it hot?”

“It’ll hurt a little bit. It stings.”

“I dun’t want you to hot, Mommy!” Ben exclaims, his voice teetering back towards sorrow.

“It’s good that it hurts, Ben. If it hurts, then I know that I’m cleaning my cut so that it doesn’t get infected. Remember we talked about how mommy’s cuts can get infected?

“Yes.” He responds, serious as he continues to watch the nasty cut on your finger. “With jumms. Wite, Mommy?”

“With germs. Yes. So, can I clean it?” You ask him, leaning forward on his right side to try and get a look at his face.

“Okay, Mommy.”

How can he be so amazing?

He stares the entire time you tend to your wound. His face serious, more so with worry than concentration but he’s also got lots of that too, he watches you like he watches you when you sew. There’s a fascination in his eyes as you apply some ointment and then get the biggest band-aid you can find and cover your cut.

Both you and Ben are so absorbed in each other that you don’t realize that Thor has been watching the two of you for the past several minutes.

You kiss Ben’s cheek as he holds out his own tiny index finger and traces the edge of your bandage. “I’m okay.”

Your promise seems to mean more now that you aren’t bleeding and crying.

“I’m sorry I scared you, sweet pea.”

“Is okay, Mommy. I wuv you, Mommy. So, mush.” He says intensely.

You pretend to gasp. “Me? You love Mommy so much?”

“Yeah.”

“How much is ‘so much’?” You ask, teasing him slightly, you need to hear his laugh after that craziness.

“A ho wot.” He nods.

“I don’t know. Someone told me that you only love me a little bit.”

“No, Mommy, I wuv you wots. Pweese dun cwy, Mommy.” He begs and your heart breaks.

“Oh, sweet pea. I’m sorry I scared you. Really. I promise to try very hard to not scare you like that again, okay?”

“Okay.” He says with a soft smile then turns to wrap his arms around your neck to press kiss after sweet kiss against your chin and cheek until you’re chuckling lightly.

Thor suddenly clears his throat and you turn to look at him.

There’s a yearning in his eyes that catches you off guard. How much did he see? So much sadness radiates from his eyes towards you and Ben and you can see the envy in them. You think that you also see love in his eyes for a second and it’s very possible that he is feeling some love. Who would meet Ben and not love him right away?

“Daddy!” Ben exclaims and since you’re better he squirms off of your lap and runs to Thor with his little arms held up.

Thor's face lights up instantly and he scoops his son into his arms before looking at you.

“Lunch is ready, but I was not sure how to operate your rice cooker?”

It's surreal, Thor asking about your rice cooker, but you look at Ben. “Wanna show your daddy how to get the rice out of the cooker, Benny?”

“Okay! Wes go, Daddy!” Ben pulls on Thor's left ear and Thor gives you one last parting glance before heading back down.

You sit in the bathroom for several minutes after they’ve gone. As you sit there, you can hear Thor asking Ben questions and Ben's adorable easy voice reply. Thor chuckles and it booms up the stairs and settles into your bones along with the gentle peal of Ben's replying giggle.

Swallowing hard you pack up the first aid kit and replace it under the sink before you stop to stare at yourself in the mirror. This is a good thing. Thor being back is what you’ve been wanting. You’d just wished for it a few hours ago. Ben needs his dad.

You look yourself over nervously, straightening your top and then pulling your gray shorts down before sighing as you accept the truth that Thor is not here for you. He’s here for Ben. At least, that’s what you tell yourself as you move back down the stairs to rejoin them, all the while ignoring the logic of the simple fact that until Ben had clung to Thor’s leg, he hadn’t known that he even had a son.

You lean against your tree with your arms crossed over your chest, watching Thor with Ben in the distance. Thor is down on his knees, his hands on Ben’s small shoulders as he talks to him for what feels like ages.

Ben too is so absorbed in whatever Thor is telling him that he doesn’t even look at you. All of a sudden Ben turns and runs, his golden portal appearing. He disappears for a split second and while you blink another golden portal forms behind Thor who turns to face it and Ben comes zooming out and into Thor’s arms.

Thor’s resonating laugh reaches you across the large expanse of the yard and Ben laughs with him. Though your heart is rapidly beating in panic, in fear, your boy and his dad are having a good time.

You watch Thor’s face carefully, looking for any sign of the fear that you feel in yourself but find none. He looks impressed and he pats Ben’s back several times before saying something again which makes Ben run towards a nearby tree and leap up onto a branch just over six feet high. He grabs onto it and climbs up and once again, your heart is pounding in your chest.

You’re used to Ben’s jumping but when you aren’t expecting it, it always shocks you. He’s so tiny. Just at three feet in height and yet he can jump more than double that. You’ve seen him jump clear over Steve’s head when they’ve played outside.

As you’re watching them you don’t realize that you’re clutching your chest as an ache grows steadily stronger and stronger.

Ben jumps down and races towards Thor at a stunning speed, but Thor catches him and swings him around chuckling at his son’s feats while you wallow in your anxiety.

You can see the clear understanding that Thor has for Ben and the ecstatic expression on Ben’s face tells you that he’d been yearning to share his gifts with someone who could understand them.

The relief you feel is comforting but also jagged and painful. Here’s the confirmation that you had never been enough for your boy. Yes, you loved him. Yes, he needed you and loved you. However, Ben had never been and will never be a normal boy. He’s different and special and you have been seriously lacking in your ability to provide him with the support he’s needed.

It makes you so happy to see them together, enjoying Ben’s strength and skills in a way that he’s never been able to with you and before you know it, you’re crying again. You quickly turn away from them, hating yourself for not being able to keep it together.

You’ve been so desperate, feeling so lost in Ben’s world. With Thor back, you’re happy to see that you were right. All he’d needed was his father and things would be okay for him.

You sit yourself down slowly, still facing away from them but only get down to your knees when you hear a rustle of quick small feet. “Mommy!”

Ben’s voice is laden with worry. How does he know?! He always knows when you’re feeling this way.

You quickly wipe at your cheeks and turn to him with a smile, but Thor is right behind him and your eyes meet his and for a moment you hate him. You give in to that hate and you give in to the pain that he’d left you with when he broke your heart and then the loneliness you’ve felt ever since you found out you were pregnant.

Yes, you’d had the Avengers and they were amazing and so kind to you, but Thor had been your partner. However short that time might have been, you’d needed him in those months of pregnancy, and you’d needed him even more after Ben was born and he’d been somewhere else in the universe. Away from you. Away from Ben. Away from where he should have been!

As he meets your eyes, he can see the agony in them. His own reflect that back briefly at you before his eyes fill with remorse and shame. He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out as he slows to a stop a few feet away.

You hate him! You hate him so much! He left you and you were so terrified, and your boy needed him, and he left! You hate him.

Ben stops short of you as he watches your face and then follows your gaze. You’re so wrapped up in your past that you forget that your three-year-old is not normal in strength alone. He has a way of reading you that you realize he must actually get from Thor. Thor had a way before of looking at you and knowing that something wasn't right and fairly quickly he’d been able to decipher its cause.

Suddenly Ben shoots forward towards Thor and with a small grunt he kicks his shin. Thor’s eyes go slightly wide as he gasps and winces, curling down towards his right leg as he reaches towards the spot Ben had kicked.

Surprise replaces the hurt in your face as you look down at Thor’s leg and then up at his face to see that he’s in genuine pain.

“Torben Y/L/N!” You say sternly and Ben slowly turns back towards you, his face contorted into a small angry pout.

He doesn’t meet your eyes, knowing that tone of voice well and that it means he’s in trouble.

“I’m alright.” Thor says, the frantic worry in his voice clearly meant to assure you he’s okay and to try and deter you from chastising Ben. It might have worked if his voice wasn’t also heavy with a groan from the pain no doubt radiating from his shin.

"Ben, come here. What did we say about hitting?" You put your hands on his little shoulders as he reaches you and look into his eyes. "Your hits hurt more than anyone else's, remember?"

Ben pouts, fuming from watching you cry and knowing that it’s all his daddy’s fault. His hands are clenched into little fists as he stares into your own eyes, still seeing the hurt in them probably. How can he see so much? How are you supposed to be strong for him if he can see your pain?

"Daddy can take it." He argues, then shoots Thor a glare.

“Ben!” You chastise again but he’s not budging and as he looks at you, he pouts more.

“Daddy made Mommy cwy.” He argues.

It’s true. You can’t deny it and even if you try, Ben will see through you.

You sigh, exasperated and lean forward to rest your forehead against his little chest and his arms immediately embrace your head, tiny comforting hands shifting your hair as you chastise yourself for being overcome with your hurt and for letting it ruin the very beautiful time he’d been spending with Thor.

“I think it’s time to go inside.” You announce and pull your head up gently.

Ben’s little hands stroke your cheeks, wiping away the tear stains before wrapping his arms around your neck. It’s a few hours before dinner and nap time is imminent.

You lift your boy up and he settles his head against your left shoulder, pointedly looking away from Thor. As you rub his back, you feel him relax and know that he’ll be asleep in a few minutes. He’s already breathing more calmly.

You turn to look at Thor and find him looking shamed and apologetic still.

“I’m sorry.” You tell him then move towards the house.

Thor follows. “No. I-I deserved it.”

He’s actually limping a little. “Does it hurt a lot?”

“Yes.” Thor says with a chuckle. “And no.”

“I’m sorry.” You repeat.

“No. It is good to see that he is so protective over you. It reminds me of me with my mother when I was a bit older than Ben.” Thor smiles, and gives you a quick glance which makes the smile fade. “I am glad that he loves you so. Why were you crying?”

You look at Ben and hesitate because you don’t want him to overhear but his breathing is deeper which means he’s fast asleep already. You don’t know if you want to talk about this yet. This is much sooner than you’d anticipated. Maybe you’ll skip over the, I can’t believe you left me part of why you were crying.

“It’s an understatement to say that it’s been difficult raising Ben by myself. The guys at the compound, Nat, Steve, Sam and the rest help when they can. Tony gives us everything we need, and Steve has been so supportive and helpful, but I’ve been alone with him. With Ben. Day in and day out it's me and him.” Your eyes dart to Thor’s face and find him looking shamed and upset but you’re not going to stop now. He asked!

“If I’m honest, that’s been fine. I haven’t missed a man in the house, although technically I guess Steve has kind of stepped into that role. Ben spends more time with him than anyone else after me, but I’ve been okay raising him on my own. Most days I didn’t and don’t feel like I need someone here with us.”

Thor seems to read between the lines and his shoulders slump in sadness as his blue eyes meet and hold yours. “You mean to say that you did not feel that you needed me around.”

“No.” You agree. “I didn’t need you here. I haven’t needed you here and that was fine…most days.” You relent and sigh heavily.

Ben fidgets with your heavy breath and you rub his back again to soothe him.

“But sometimes there were days like today, the…the portal thing he did for you earlier, he did that for the first time today for me too. I’m not sure how long he’s been able to do it but on days like today…” Ugh! You don’t want to risk Ben hearing you even in his sleep. “Hold on, I need to put him to bed first.”

Thor hurries forward to open your front door for you. You move inside and he follows you up the stairs past the your bedroom on the left and the guest room on the right before you move to the second door on the left. Inside is Ben’s room.

There are toys everywhere, scattered along the floor along with books and a few broken crayons. Though it’s not visible right now because it's still light out and Ben's blinds and light blue curtains are open, there are tiny little lights covering the black ceiling of his room that in total darkness make it seem as if Ben is sleeping under a beautiful star strewn sky. Tony had installed them when he'd realized Ben’s obsession with space and he'd made you lay underneath them for almost an entire day.

You step around the mess expertly. When you reach his small bed, you keep your hand pressed against his back and with the other pull back the navy sheets, speckled with white dots to represent stars and a mish mash of planets at seemingly random patterns.

Thor rushes forward to help you, pulling the sheets back more as you lower Ben onto the bed and then step back as Thor pulls the covers almost up to Ben’s neck.

His large hands are very gentle and hesitant as they try and figure out just how to tuck him in. He blinks in confusion and you hurry forward to push his hands away.

“Ben gets hot sometimes. His temperature is hotter than a human’s. Like yours, I’m guessing.” You inform him in a hushed whisper. “So put the blanket just under his chest and that’s usually enough to keep him comfortable.”

Thor’s electrifying blues are focused on your hands as he watches you settle the blanket over Ben’s tiny body and then tuck it in at his sides before you lean down, and with a soft graceful pushback of the blonde hair on his forehead, you kiss his temple.

He shifts and sighs in his sleep, but he reaches over to grip your finger for a second then releases it and continues to sleep.

“Come on.” You wave to Thor.

As you move towards the door you bend over and pick up as many toys as quickly and quietly as you can then drop them into the black, blue, and red cubes by the chestnut shelf where they find home. You stop at the door and turn back to see Thor also picking up after him.

Your heart does a quick somersault and you shake your head, chasing the familiar feeling away. You’re not going to fall back in love with Thor.

He drops off the much larger number of toys and stuffed animals that he was able to pick up, thanks to his large arms, then moves out of the door as you slowly shut it, looking at Ben as long as you can.

As the door shuts and you turn to go downstairs, you find yourself pressed almost chest to chest with Thor as he’d also been eagerly staring in at Ben as you shut the door.

“Oh.” You mutter in surprise as Thor’s heat washes over your body in familiar waves.

You have vivid flashes of large, hot, calloused hands gripping your thighs tightly, as they pull gently, prying them apart. Those same hands run down the length of your bare back, erupting goosebumps along every inch of your skin. Soft burning kisses trail up along your throat. Your own hands gently stroke hard chest muscles as strong arms hold you close, squeezing you with love and affection.

Your neck suddenly begins to burn and your breathing hitches as you try and wipe the memories of making love with Thor from your mind. Having him so close so suddenly is confusing and you quickly move away from him, almost tripping over his large foot.

Swallowing hard you move down the hall and stairs then make your way back into the kitchen to clean up pans from lunch so that you can use them again for dinner.

Thor follows but he stops on the other side of the counter so that he can still watch you but give you space.

“So?” Thor prompts and you turn to him with wary eyes, afraid he’s going to ask about what just happened in the hallway. “You were saying about Ben’s portals?”

Wow, you’d completely forgotten that conversation was happening. “Right.”

“You were crying because Ben can make portals?” He asks.

“No. Not because he can make portals but because I’m not…I’m so normal. And Ben is so special. I’ve never seen him look so comfortable doing the things he can do. Watching you with him—I don’t know why you came back, Thor, but I’m glad you did. Ben has needed you for all the things that I can never do and all the things he gets from his Asgardian side. I don’t understand that part of him and he looked so happy to be sharing his gifts with you. That’s why I was crying.” You shrug with one shoulder, feeling vulnerable and exposed in a way that you haven’t felt since Thor then give him your back and go back to washing your dishes.

“I came back for you.” He says quietly.

The water flowing in the sink is so loud that you’re not sure you heard him correctly. You’re not sure you want to have heard him correctly. You reach to shut the water off and turn to look at him. You lean against the sink and hold the edge of the counter with both hands held at your sides.

“What did you say?” You ask, slightly irritated but calm.

“I-” He hesitates, observing the look in your eyes to see if it’s a good idea to repeat himself. His eyes suddenly burn as he narrows his brow giving you no chance to catch your breath as you process the intensity in his gaze and before he even repeats himself, you know you’d heard him correctly. “I said I came back for you.”

“Why?” You give him no chance to think.

“Why?!” His eyes soften and his forehead relaxes as his eyebrows shoot upwards. “Because I missed you, as I said before.”

“Thor…” You begin, hating the pleading look in his eyes.

“I…I know that I made many mistakes.” Thor suddenly cuts you off and he quickly begins to round the counter towards you. “It seems there were even more mistakes than I ever knew. I did not expect to come here and find you with our son. I am sorry that I left you alone in that. But I have never stopped, not even for a single day, loving you.”

His words hurt but you don’t interrupt and instead watch him with that same pained look from the yard. It might be better to let him say his piece.

“This is not the situation I expected to find myself walking into when I returned but I do not lie when I tell you that I am happier than I ever thought I could be.” Thor gushes and finally rounds the counter to your side.

He moves towards you and you don’t move, waiting for him to finish whatever it is he wants to say. As he reaches you, he takes hold of your left hand first and then your right and his touch is so searing that you must be on fire for it to hurt this much. With your breathing slightly labored, you keep your eyes trained on his, reading the surprised glee on his face as he smiles softly down at you.

“We have a son.” Thor says, ecstatic. “It was a surprise but one that I welcome gladly. Now, perhaps, we might…we could be a family?”

He raises his eyebrows again, dropping his deep voice even lower as he leans in towards you, engulfing you once more with the heat radiating off of his body.

“Can we?” You ask him. “Do you really think it’s that easy?”

How can he be this cocky?

His smile falters but he reinforces it and lets his hands travel upwards towards your shoulders. It hurts so much for him to touch you. Can’t he see that?

“I know it will take some time for us to be as we were. But we have a son. He’s perfect and you are perfect and-”

“I’m perfect?” You ask him, your voice calm but still full of the toxic sludge of your deep-seated pain. “Now I’m perfect? Until I bore you again, right?”

“What-?” Thor’s smile finally disappears as he focuses harder and reads your mood.

“I made you weary before, didn’t I? We had fun but you got bored. That’s what you told me. And you expect me to believe you now when you tell me that you love me when before you made it very clear that you’d lied to me the entire time we were together?”

“No!” Thor hurries, gripping you harder in the shoulders and pulling you closer. “No, I did not mean what I said then. I said it for your benefit so-”

“My benefit? So, you did me a favor by leaving me? You breaking my heart like all the other guys that came before you was for my own good? Is that what you’re saying? And yours was worse because you played me for a fool Thor, you made me believe that you wanted me, that you loved me when the entire time it was all a game?”

“Y/N, please-”

“Am I just a toy to you? Some plaything you can pick up whenever you want and drop whenever you don’t?”

“No.” He says, his voice strangled as his hands slide up along your neck to rest on the sides of your face, cradling you close like he used to. “No, that is not what you are.”

“I know that you didn’t know about Ben but what were you expecting Thor? Did you think that you could just come back, and we could go back to the day before you tore my heart out from my chest? Did you expect me to be sitting here for four years waiting for you to come back?” You gasp, finally giving into the stabbing grief of his abandonment. “I know that four years is like the blink of an eye to you but for humans it’s a really long time. I’ve moved on, Thor. You haven’t been the man in my life for four years.”

Thor’s hands slowly slide back down the sides of your neck as he processes the words that you’re saying. When he realizes that you’re telling him that you’ve been with other men, he drops his hands altogether and takes a half a step back before turning to lean back against the counter, his shoulders slumped and his head hanging.

“You told me you didn’t love me, Thor.”

“Who?” Thor asks, his voice somber and defeated.

“Who what?”

“Who were you with?”

“Does that really matter right now? It’s not going to change anything for you to know who I’ve been with.”

“Who?” He asks, more sternly.

“Eddie. Eddie was very supportive during my pregnancy. He was with me from the very beginning until Ben was born and a few months after.” You don’t owe him an explanation but if he can understand that you’ve lived your life with him away, then maybe he’ll stop trying to make things happen again?

It hurts too much for him to keep trying.

“Eddie…” He repeats the name, scoffing lightly before he glances at you nervously then looks down at his feet. “Did you and he…? Did you two-?”

It takes you a few seconds to understand what he’s asking but you nod. “It took a while but yes, Thor. Eddie and I were together for almost a year. Yes. I slept with him. Not that that’s any of your business. You left me, remember?”

“Was he the only one?” Thor asks, his voice strained and weak.

You scoff at his question, hating the audacity that he seems to have to ask you these questions like they are any of his business. “No. Thor, he isn’t the only man I’ve slept with since you left me. Thor! Where are you going?”

Thor’s already moving down the length of your kitchen, through the dining room and opening the front door.

“Thor!”

He shuts your door firmly but doesn’t slam it and you’re thankful for at least that because overhead, Ben is blissfully unaware of just how complicated the relationship his parents share is.

Thor isn’t exactly sure what do with himself or where he’s going exactly. He knows that he needs some space. He’s angry. Angrier than he’s been in a long time.

The thing that hurts the most is that he’s angry with himself because all of this, you being touched by other men, being loved by other men, you loving other men is all his fault. He knows it is. He was the moron that left you here for other men to love you and touch you and he made sure that you were in no doubt of how much he didn’t care even if it was a lie.

He stops halfway down the overgrown trail that leads to the compound, shoulders heaving, nostrils flared, and his large hands balled into fists the size of cannonballs. He turns to look back at your house, fighting the urge to go back and make you his by force because he wants you. But he can’t have you. He knows he can’t. If it’s true. If you’ve moved on and you no longer love him, what chance does he have?

He made it clear! He did! He’s the idiot that made sure you thought he didn’t and never loved you. Then he left you. Why can’t he stop thinking about how this is all his fault and he did this to himself and to you and he lost out on the first years with his son. You must have been beautiful with your belly swollen with his child. Glowing and gorgeous and the pinnacle of perfection and that other moron, Eddie had been the one to see you and love you and touch your stomach when Ben kicked for the first time.

He had been there to deal with your cravings and to help you sit and stand and to massage your swollen feet when the day was too long and hard.

“You moron!” Thor shouts, shaking the trees with his booming timber, and making chirping birds take flight.

Eddie had looked at your glorious form, bare and exposed. He’d touched your shoulders, caressed your breasts, kissed your neck, and lain on top of you. You, so small and exquisite, so unbearably iridescent when you shine with love had been under another man’s sweating body. Thor shuts his eyes against the image but it’s in his head. There is no escaping it and his anger mounts.

The caustic anger turns him and pulls his arm forward towards the large trunk of a tree and Thor’s fist breaks it in half. Wood splinters fly out in every direction before a loud creak precedes the large innocent fall on its side with an irritating hiss of leaves on the ground. The suddenly empty spot allows a ring of sunlight to seep into the shadowed spot and Thor focuses on the light as he fights image after image of you in someone else’s arms.

You are right. You are right about many things but one. These four years for Thor have been the longest in his existence. Every day away from you felt like an eternity. Every day he fought the urge to return to you, to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness. Now he realizes that had he given in that first day he would have been here to salvage the love the two of you had cultivated in those three, blissfully life-altering weeks. Three weeks that feel now like a distant dream in the wake of this horrid nightmare where you no longer love him. You no longer want him. He’s pushed you away and now the only reason you are allowing him into any portion of your life is for the sake of Ben, for his son.

“Ben…” Thor sighs, agonized over the three years of lost time.

He’d missed his first steps, his first words, he’d missed everything.

The thought of his son drives the terrible images from Thor’s head, and he uses the opportunity to get away from the scene of his outburst. Moving slowly, with his shoulders slumped and his head hanging, he heads back to the compound focusing on the thought of his son.

He makes it inside drawing minimal gazes if only because the halls are so barren. He takes the stairs, moving sluggishly and finds his way to the third floor common room. “Hello, is anyone here?”

“Thor?” Steve’s even tone greets in shock.

“Captain Rogers.” Thor gives his friend a small sad smile, trying to see the happiness in this reunion but only feeling it superficially. “Steve, it is so good to see you again, my friend.”

Steve gets up from his seat and after a brief concerned look, he gives Thor a brief hug. “We weren’t expecting you. It’s good to see you.”

“I was not expecting to return. I found my way here without meaning to make the trip.” It’s true.

Thor had woken up today and had no kind of plan to come back but suddenly you’d popped into his head and he’d reacted to the thought instinctively and found his way home.

He follows Steve back to the kitchen island and stands beside him as Steve sits in his stool in front of which is a pile of reports he’s clearly been filling out.

“Are you um…back for good?” Steve wonders and Thor is not even remotely aware of the strange awkwardness in Steve’s demeanor.

Still lost in his regrets and sorrow, Thor nods, still smiling sadly. “I have a mind to stay.”

“Oh.” Steve reaches for his pen and fiddles with it for a second before putting it down to shift in his seat and face Thor. “Does…have you seen Y/N?”

“I went to her old house first, but it was no longer there. Just an empty lot.” Thor sighs.

“Yeah. They demolished about two years ago. The thing was condemned just before Tony had her move here to that bungalow he’d built for her. He’s actually thinking about building a few of them to offer to agents with families. It’s a good idea, I think. For us too.” Steve says conversationally.

“Yes, I saw it. It is a nice home for Y/N and Ben.”

“Oh, so…you know?” Steve says, realizing that Thor must be depressed from already having been with you.

“Yes. I have been here for several hours. I met my son, Ben.” Thor suddenly smiles more brightly and looks at Steve with weak pride if only because he’s still reeling from the thought of you with other men. “He is astonishing. An amazing boy.”

“Yeah, he’s really great. Very funny kid. He reminds us all of you a lot. Y/N too. She says it all the time. Then she kind of gets sad. Always brings up the three week thing.”

Thor’s smile fades and he sighs heavily looking away from Steve to lean both elbows on the counter, hunching forward over it as he tries to fight the dark pull of his regrets again.

“Yes. I…I talked to her.”

“How did it go?” Steve asks carefully.

“About as well as it could have when the man that left her makes a passionate speech about how he still loves her and has a desire to be a family. She turned me down.” Thor hangs his head more, lifting his hands to bury his face in them.

“I’m so sorry, Thor. It has been a really long time though.” Steve says softly. “She’s had a hard couple of years. Raising Ben and doing it alone? It hasn’t been easy.”

“Oh, I know that she has not been alone. She has told me of her other suitors. She told me of the other men who she has been with and I have only myself to blame.”

“S-So she told you about us?” Steve asks and for a moment Thor doesn’t process his words.

Thor blinks into his hands before slowly lifting his face away from their shield and very slowly, as Steve’s words begin to sink in, Thor turns to look at him with desperate eyes. At fist the desperation is pleading, wishing and hoping that he misheard his friend. Then the desperation shifts into anger and Thor’s brow furrows with rage.

“What?”

“She didn’t-?” Steve shakes his head, his body tensing as he eyes the fury in Thor’s face. “Oh, God. Thor, look, it’s not what you-It happened once about a year and a half ago.”

Thor lunges at Steve, grabbing the neck of his shirt a he shoves him back until he can pin him against the large black pillar that separates the kitchen from the sitting area. The walls quiver from the impact and the ceiling creaks as Thor slams Steve hard with veiny fists threatening to choke Steve’s neck.

“Thor, Thor, wait!” Steve begs, desperate to calm the Asgardian.

“You…you and…you touched her?” Thor asks, spitting and glaring as he shake Steve once.

His eyes flash blue and his hands begin to spark making Steve more nervous.

“Yes, but Thor I-I’m sorry.” Steve gives in reaching up to grab Thor’s fist with his left hand but then winces as Thor’s electricity shocks him. “I’m sorry.”

Almost as quickly as Thor’s anger appeared it falls away leaving pure agony in Thor’s blue eyes as he stares into Steve’s own storm blues. His electricity fades with his rage and Thor’s hand loosen slightly and he slowly lowers Steve back to the ground, not realizing in the heat of the moment that he’d lifted him.

This is all his fault. Thor did this. He knows he did. He’d pushed you away into Eddie’s arms. Into Steve’s arms. Thor lets go fully as his face contorts with sorrow very near tears. He turns away from his friend, his comrade, with a pained look of revulsion for not only the images flashing in his head of Steve holding you in ways that only he should have ever held you but also the part that he played in causing this.

Both of them are breathing heavily but as Thor moves away to get as far away from Steve as possible, Steve follows a few steps.

“Thor, wait.”

Thor stops.

“I-She and I didn’t plan for it to happen. I’ve been alone for a very long time and I was feeling down. Eddie had left her about six months back and when Ben broke her arm-”

“Ben broke her arm?” Thor asks, looking back at Steve with sudden concern and worry over this injury that has obviously been healed for a long time. He suddenly has the urge to go check on you.

“Yeah, she didn’t tell you?”

“We…we didn’t talk for long.” Thor explains, back to feeling depressed and broken and tired after that second burst of anger.

“Ben was strong even before he was born. He broke her ribs a couple times before he was even six months. Broke her fingers a few times too when he was a few months old. When he was one, he threw a tantrum and that’s when he broke her arm. She needed help taking care of him and since I’m a little more resilient than the rest of the team I volunteered to help her out.

“A few months after Eddie moved to the English branch of S.H.I.E.L.D.-we were just both in the wrong place at the wrong time, Thor. She was really broken up about you and about Eddie leaving and worried about Ben, and I was lonely. We both just wanted to feel something other than miserable. It only happened once, and we knew that it couldn’t happen again.” Steve sighs, holding out his arms as if in surrender. “I swear to you, Thor. There’s nothing going on between Y/N and me.”

That explanation, although it gives the night in question context, doesn’t exactly make it any better. The fact of the matter is, if Thor had been here then you’d have had no reason to be depressed about Eddie and you would not have spent so much time alone with Steve because he would have been there to help you out.

“So, you are not in love with Y/N?” Thor asks, desperate for any sort of good news.

“No, Thor. I’m not. I mean, I do love her, but not like that.”

Steve’s assurance gives Thor’s heart a little peace. He moves over to the nearest sofa, a beige almost orange cushioned chair in front of the coffee table with a chessboard and collapses into it.

Steve follows and grabs the back of the larger sofa with both hands as he leans forward, looking Thor over. “What are you thinking?”

“I do not know. I have a son.” He looks at Steve and smiles at him briefly, still kind of hating his guts. “Y/N and I share a son. And he is the most incredible boy I have ever met.”

Steve smiles in return. “He’s something else. Are you-You’re not going to leave again, are you? He needs you, Thor.”

“No. I am not leaving again. I will never leave them again.” He swears, leaning forward, elbows on knees.

He looks down at the floor and his agony returns, painting a grimace across his handsome face. “I still love her, Steve. I never stopped. And I’ve lost her.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Steve argues, smiling still.

“What do you mean? She has told me with her own lips that she has moved on.” Thor gestures with his right arm, sweeping it as if he’s laying out a plan for Steve to see.

“Y/N is complicated, Thor. She hates you.”

“Right, thanks.” Thor rolls his eyes.

“No, I mean, she hates you because she loves you, Thor. She’s angry at you. She still believes those things you told her four years ago. We were all there and you said some pretty harsh things to her.”

“Yes, I am aware of just how much of a moron I was, thank you.” Thor gripes.

“There is a very thin line between love and hate. She’s never forgotten you, Thor. She’s going to fight it like hell. You hurt her. You broken her. The first few months after you left, she didn’t come into work, she stopped eating, was hardly sleeping. The only reason she snapped out of it was because Tony showed up and gave her an earful when he realized she was pregnant. He’d gone to check on her at that hole of a house she’d been living in and when she answered the door, Tony saw what condition she was in and he got her in here fast.

“I wasn’t here but Wanda and Bruce told me that everything changed after she heard Ben’s heartbeat. She had a reason to live again. And even when she was dating Eddie, she was really just thinking about you. She’d considered naming the baby Thor.”

Thor smiles but he’s also hating himself more with these new images of you in his head.

“I walked in on her a few times talking to Ben in her stomach and sometimes she would cry and tell him how much she loved you and missed you. It was hard to watch. You fucked up, Thor.”

“I know that!” Thor gets to his feet, angry again but only at himself. He veers away from his seat and away from Steve. “But I do not know how to fix it.”

“You can’t. What happened, happened. If you want her, Thor, you’re going to have to appeal to the woman she is now, not the woman she was back then. She’s different. She’s had a baby. She’s been in other relationships. She’s struggled and fought tooth and nail to raise Ben with love for you even though it must have been hard for her to watch video after video of you.”

“How do I do that?” Thor begs.

“I don’t know. That’s something you’re going to have to figure out.” Steve finishes leaving Thor with a budding determination to win back your love.

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[vilevenom]

Part 3! I won’t lie, I fully expected this to be a short ass fic, but then it sort of spiraled out of my control. Fandom: Mystery Skulls Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 4 Vampire!Arthur

Arthur sighed as he stepped out of the shower, hair dripping on his shoulders. He’d completely forgotten about the bandages on his shoulder in his haste to get under the water and away from the mirror, and now they were soaked through and needed to be changed. Mind, he couldn’t do it himself so he’d only have to pester Lewis and Vivi further than he already had by getting one of them to help him with that, given that the fine motor functions of his prosthetic were still shot. He scowled as he haphazardly pulled his sweat pants back on, turning to glance at himself in the mirror once more. He looked even more bedraggled with his hair drooping around his face and his hospital bandages peeling at the edges were the tape no longer held from moisture. He paused for a moment, though, a sudden thought striking him. Hadn’t the vampire also dug into his sides? The memories were blurry at best, really, but he could vaguely recall the sensation of his stomach being torn into. He took a short step back to get a better view of himself in the mirror, examining his torso to see what damage had been left behind, only to find the barest hints of jagged scarring just below his ribs. Quickly, and mindless of the fact that it wasn’t functioning properly quite yet, Arthur reattached his prosthetic, hissing mildly as the nerves reconnected, before scrambling to peel off the ruined bandages. He gaped as he let them hit the floor with a soft squelching sound, lifting his hand shakily to touch his neck and shoulder, no evidence of his attack being left but a spiderweb of light marks were his skin knit itself back together. Arthur twisted and turned as he stared in the mirror, but if someone didn’t know he had been in the hospital, they never would be able to tell. It was almost as though two nights previous had never even happened. A sudden rapping on the bathroom door startled him out of his shell-shocked staring, causing a slight growl to leave his throat as he jerked away from the sound. He clamped his hand over his mouth directly after the sound left him, a quiet whine leaving him instead. Another, more insistent rap came, followed by Vivi’s voice asking him to come out, making Arthur straighten his spine and clear his throat. “Just a sec,” he called back, shooting one last glance at the mirror, eyeing the nearly completely healed wounds and tiny sparks that jumped from his prosthetic as it twitched slightly at his side. He looked a mess, but it wouldn’t be the first time Vivi saw him out of sorts. He hadn’t really been expecting Vivi, Lewis, and Mystery to be huddled outside the door, though. “Uh...hi,” he said simply, pursing his lips as the three did little but stare at him, “You-you knocked?” “Right! Sorry, Artie, just-your shoulder,” Vivi murmured, gesturing vaguely at his scars. “Yeah, I, I-uhm, was noticing that, too,” Arthur replied, shrugging slightly and shrinking into himself a little, “Did you guys need something? I was going to go work on my arm,” he added, lifting his prosthetic in short, jerky movements. “Sorry for staring, Arthur,” Lewis apologized, looking contrite, “We knew you were healing faster, that was just unexpected.” “You’re telling me,” Arthur snorted, before looking slightly bashful as Mystery nudged at his legs and shooting him a short glare, “Anyway, but really, what’s up?” “Oh! Yes, right,” Vivi suddenly sprung into action, thrusting a rather thick book forward into Arthur’s line of sight, open to a page with a rather graphic depiction of a demon eating a person in black and red ink and a massive sprawl of text next to it, “Mystery found this!” Arthur continued to stare down the book for a moment, his eyes skimming over the tiny text, a light frown on his face. “Uh, can I get the abridged version?” “You’re not a vampire yet,” Lewis stated, tiny smile on his face as both Vivi and Mystery took deep breaths, obviously amping up to bombard Arthur with information. “The vampire that bit you didn’t kill you or feed anything to you, so the turning ritual wasn’t completed.” “Way to steal my thunder, Lewlew,” Vivi pouted, snapping the book closed and tucking it under her arm. “I figured a more concise version would be best,” Lewis chuckled, “But, regardless. We’ve already found a couple tracking spells we can try to find the vampire that bit you. It’s got a couple days on us, but with some supernatural help, we should be able to find it.” “And once we do...?” Arthur asked, absently grabbing at his prosthetic. Nervous habits were hard to kick. “Well,” Mystery stepped in,this time cutting Lewis off, “then it’s simply a matter of a decapitation and a stake through the heart. Contrary to popular culture, any type of stake will do, as long as the heart is pierced.” “Decapitation?” Arthur wheezed, his hand instinctively going to his neck. “It’s the best way to ensure the vampire can’t regenerate while we stake it. I know Buffy makes it seem like it’s really easy to do so, but a sternum is rather difficult to stab. It’s going to take some force,” Mystery stated bluntly. “So, what we’re trying to say, Artie,” Vivi piped up, grinning widely at Arthur, “There’s a cure! So to speak...I know you, and that you’re probably letting your brain go to all sorts of terrible places, so you need to know that none of those things are going to happen. We’re going to track that thing down and kill it, and everything can go back to normal.” Arthur glanced at Lewis, who offered a small smile of encouragement and a nod, before he looked back to Vivi and gave a slow nod. “Okay.” ~ Vivi had made the spell sound a whole lot easier than it really was, given some of the ingredients it required. “Don’t...move,” Arthur gasped, wobbling a little as he was held in the air by Lewis, tiny jar in his hand as he eyed the spider resting obliviously in its web. “I’m trying, Arthur,” Lewis grumbled, doing his best not to shudder at how close they were to the arachnid. In reality it probably would have been ten times easier for him to float up to the corner of the room and capture the spider, rather than him holding Arthur up by the waist so the mechanic could catch it, but even in death he couldn’t stand the tiny eight legged creatures. So, here they were. “Got it!” Arthur suddenly exclaimed, screwing a lid onto the jar with a triumphant, if tiny, smile on his lips. “Good,” Lewis sighed, setting Arthur back on the floor, a slight shudder running through him as he glanced at the spider crawling frantically around the glass bottom of the jar. “Ugh. I don’t know how you can be so nonchalant holding that thing.” Arthur chuckled quietly, ever subdued around Lewis since he came back, “Because. It’s just a spider, Lew. You’re a fire toting ghost. I really don’t know how a tiny little, defenseless spider can still bother you.” To illustrate, he held the jar up and gave it a gentle shake, the spider skittering around to keep its balance. “Hey now, don’t do that,” Lewis admonished, placing a hand over Arthur’s to keep it still so the spider could regain its balance, “it may be gross and about to be part of a spell, but you don’t need to torment it before hand.” That gave Arthur pause, Lewis frowning as he noticed the sudden far away look on Arthur’s face. “Did the spell say it had to be a live spider?” Arthur asked after a moment, staring at Lewis’ large hand covering his own. It took Lewis a second longer to realize why Arthur had stopped and looked so distant, his heart giving a painful beat beneath his jacket. It may have only been a spider, but Lewis knew that Arthur was drawing correlation between himself and the helpless arachnid currently in their possession. Too many times he’d had to run in just before Arthur was used as a prop for some cult’s ritual, or help Vivi cast a spell to free Arthur before anything untoward could happen to him. And then he died, and he couldn’t protect Arthur from that green thing that had taken him away from his friends. And now? Now Arthur was, yet again, in danger of some supernatural thing that had decided he was the best target. He supposed it made sense that Arthur would suddenly feel for the spider that they had intended to kill for their own purposes. “No. I don’t think it did,” Lewis hummed quietly, moving to hoist Arthur back up, even as the blonde began to unscrew the lid he’d only just put on the jar. ~ “Okay, Vivi, we’ve got everything from your list,” Lewis said as he floated into the library, Arthur hot on his proverbial heels, “Well, except the spider is already dead. We had a, uhm...incident in the living room, so, yeah. I hope that works.” Arthur shot him a grateful smile, which he returned easily. “Oh, yeah, that’s fine,” Vivi waved a hand, lighting the last of at least a dozen or two candles around the room, “Just set it all down near the circle.” Lewis nodded as he set everything down near the edge of the rug that covered the floorboards of the library, before moving to lift the ornate rug, revealing a large summoning circle painted below. Inside it were several smaller circles, the largest acting as something of a lock to the others. The smaller circles each had different generic symbols painted into them with spaces left for Vivi to chalk in anything specific she would need for her spell casting, while the largest was repainted every couple of months to ensure that any magic or summoning that happened within was restrained and maintained inside to prevent any ‘accidents’ from happening. Mystery had helped with the construction and design, sighting several amateur circles he’d seen far too easily broken in the past. “Alright!” Vivi chirped, clapping her hands together as she looked over the ingredients Arthur and Lewis had brought, “Everything looks to be in order! The only thing left that we need,” she began boisterously, fading into a quiet, apologetic tone, “Is some of your blood, Artie.” That caused Arthur to stop in the middle of grabbing Vivi’s chalk from a shelf, turning to stare at her with wide eyes. “What?” he squeaked. “Well,” Vivi scuffed her toe lightly against the floor, looking abashed, “You’re connected to that thing now, whether we like it or not. And without anything from the actual vampire, we need something as a tether to let us follow it. I’m afraid the only thing that would allow us to do that would be, uhm, some of your blood.” Noticing how Arthur’s face visibly paled, she quickly waved her hands through the air. “Not much! Just a little bit! Just enough to give the spell the kick it needs.” Arthur swallowed thickly, absently rubbing at his prosthetic as he cast his gaze around the room, chewing on his lower lip. Lewis floated nearby, concern evident on his features. “I-” Arthur began, before swallowing past the lump that had formed in his throat, “Okay.” Vivi smiled encouragingly at Arthur, grabbing a tiny dagger from a shelf. “Okay, great. I’m just going to go give this a good wash, and then we can get started,” she said, hurrying out of the room. Arthur watched her leave, his mechanical arm twitching at his side. He really needed to do some repairs if he was going to be of any use later. “Hey.” Arthur jumped as Lewis spoke next to him, turning startled eyes towards the ghost. Lewis set his feet on the floor, walking over to Arthur to place a reassuring hand on his left shoulder. “You’ll be okay, Arthur. It’s Vivi. And, once your part is over, we can get your something to eat, yeah? I’ll make you something,” Lewis said, letting his hand slide to gently squeeze the back of Arthur’s neck, “Then you can go work on your arm, okay? Vivi and I will need time to plot out our root once the vampire is located.” Arthur shuddered slightly at Lewis’ strangely cool but warm touched moved to his neck, giving a tiny nod as Vivi came back into the room, a look of determination on her face. “That sounds good,” he murmured, eyes moving to the tiny glint of metal in Vivi’s hand. “Come on, Artie,” Lewis sighed, turning the blonde bodily in his direction as Vivi began to set up the spell, “Look at me.” Arthur obeyed after a moment, his breath slightly shallow as he focused on Lewis’ chin, still not quite able to look the other in the eyes, the black and magenta of Lewis’ eyes often the center of nightmares that still plagued him on occasion. Not that he ever blamed Lewis, but having been chased down by a flaming specter while looking for your best friend hadn’t exactly been a highlight of Arthur’s life. Lewis sighed quietly, tipping Arthur’s chin up, forcing the blonde to meet his gaze. He could see the way Arthur’s adams apple bobbed with nerves as he began to tremble under Lewis’ hands. “You’re going to be fine, Arthur. Everything is going to be fine. Take deep breaths, okay? In for seven, out for five. With my count, Arthur. One-” Lewis had helped Arthur through panic attacks many a time, breathing deep with the blonde to help calm him. He couldn’t recall a time since he’d died, though. It didn’t help that he no longer needed to breath, so Vivi had been the one to do it the last few times Arthur had begun to panic. But, now with Vivi busy and Mystery having disappeared at some point, it was up to him. He supposed keeping tempo was like counting breaths, so in a pinch he supposed it would do. But Arthur’s breath wasn’t evening out and he could feel how the blonde was beginning to tremble harder beneath his hands. Lewis finished his count, a light frown on his face as Arthur’s gaze skittered away from his to focus over his shoulder, the blonde obviously trying to control his breathing but failing miserably. It was then a sudden idea struck Lewis, releasing Arthur to dig into his jacket. He pulled his locket free, and pressed it into Arthur’s chest, making the blonde jump yet again, his eyes wide as he looked down at the glowing heart beating against his chest. Lewis took Arthur’s hand and placed it over the locket, forcing Arthur to fold it in place. “Focus, Arthur,” Lewis stated, replacing his hands on the blondes shoulders, “Focus on the beats, okay? Slow your breathing, and try to sync up with it, alright? I know you can do it.” After a minute or so, Arthur’s shoulders slumped as he stared down at the golden heart on his chest, his breath finally evening out as he relaxed. “Good,” Lewis hummed happily, stroking his fingers through Arthur’s hair. “Thanks, Lewis,” Arthur murmured quietly, hugging the locket more closely to himself as his eyes slid shut, letting himself enjoy the simple comfort he was being offered. “Anytime, Artie.”