#it really shows the compatibility of the characters like i mean they all struggle with communicating a bit

[hecksupremechips]

Ashton Frey is literally so autistic though like it’s got me making organized lists here let’s see

He’s carefully mastered the art of observation and reading people cuz he was so bored as a kid being forced to attend large social gatherings and he isolated himself and just studied the way people interacted with each other to figure out why they behaved the way they did. Despite this, he’s still really bad at understanding social cues (he is never able to tell when Rebecca is upset or what could’ve caused it, he can’t word anything properly, he talks in such a logical way that he comes off as uncaring and he doesn’t notice when it upsets people, etc) and generally doesn’t interact with most people

He’s very intelligent but hated school because the system was structured so horribly. He fell asleep in professor Andrew’s class frequently but once the professor found a way to appeal to his interests he became super committed and passionate

He’s horrible, just absolutely horrible with words and communication lol. He fumbles and stutters and says a lot of mean things on accident. He mostly communicates through his actions and it’s why he comes off as cruel and uncaring to those who don’t pick up on it and kind and considerate to those who do pick up on it (my favorite example is the difference between Rebecca and Isabella’s feelings towards him. Rebecca relies on Ashton to tell her how he feels and because he doesn’t communicate very good verbally, she assumes he doesn’t care about her when he in fact cares a great deal. Isabella on the other hand is able to get on his level a bit more, like understanding that even though he teased her about the letter he still took his day off to help her in the way he thought was best and he gave her ice cream and the charm because he cares, and she is able to see just how loving he really is)

Earning his trust isn’t easy but once you get it he WILL cling to you like crazy and shower you with memes and bad puns and do anything to make you happy

He gets a lot of attention for being hot but he’s usually oblivious to it or finds the attention annoying. He also tends to turn people off with his personality

He fixates so hard on what’s important to him that it’s detrimental to his physical and mental health and he shuts out everything else to pursue his interests

He categorizes his life into boxes and HATES when things slip out of their needed space. He finds himself lying a lot to the people important to him because he’s so desperate to keep them away from the other parts of his life. He is easily transformed by the people in his line of work and finds himself becoming like them. Also he’s kinda gullible in his job and doesn’t realize he’s been manipulated by his boss since day one cuz teehee cops are fucking assholes and he has a naive sense of justice and easily believes everything his boss tells him and it makes him the perfect pawn for some abuse (seriously i hate chief lee so fucking much god I hate him Ashton baby I’m sorry but you’re being manipulated and your boss is a monster and you need to get a better career dude)

He’s very insecure and scared of rejection and beats himself up for minor flaws. He also has trouble understanding his feelings and expressing them he tries to logic his way out of feeling and only cries when he’s hit absolute rock bottom and is like. Told that he needs to cry because he’s clearly not holding up well and only then is he able to

He’s got a damn good memory and remembers every obscure thing about his friends

He’s very attached to objects and gives them names (Shirley and Ophelia my beloved)

[planetsstarsandmoons]

Synastry observations based on (personal) experience, part 5:

I’m back!!!! After months lmao

Moon opposite mars: a big ‘want’. Moon opposite mars is a story. It’s every romance movie/ romcom aspect, and i’ll tell you why. These people see in each other the potential of moon conjunct mars fullfillment that’s actually (way, but opinions differ ofc) better than the conjunction. That’s because in the opposition, each has something the other lacks. This can create for both people the ultimate romantic fullfilment when brought together by effort and acceptance of each other, and this promise is very hard to let go of. Typically, these are couples that fight a lot but find it very hard to let each other go once they know what they can have with each other, because it really is the best. Just think about it, even the thought of people putting conscious effort to be sweeter to one another is precious. That only creates a bond that’s very raw and very real (quoting jewelastrology here). Then combine that with the power of the mars and the moon and the friction of the opposition, keeping things interesting and keeping both parties learning more. You shouldn’t romanticise struggle in a relationship. Too much ‘work’ can just mean you aren’t compatible. THIS aspect is an exception. Just watch out for possible aggression. That’s never okay. One day I’ll make a seperate post about the amount of moon opposite mars couples in literature. The best I can think of now is Pride and Prejudice, with Mr Darcy being mars and Elizabeth Bennet being moon.

Venus twelfth house overlay: sorry y’all, in my personal experience, it’s true what they say. The twelfth house person has a hard time feeling this overlay on their side, or on a very subconscious level. I was the 12th house person. On one hand, I really ‘got it’ so to say but on the other hand, I don’t have a shitty clue of how he picked up on this ‘thing between us’ he thought or picked up on we had. That’s actually the big thing about this overlay. Don’t lose all hope, but you’ll have one person going “you knoww like there’s this thing between us...” and the 12th house person will be going: “what thing?” 😂 this can actually be nice because the 12th house person will get in touch with that subconscious twelfth housey part of themselves IF there are other nicely supporting aspects. Like the venus person’s venus to other stuff. They say a true connection is always mutual. I want to say to you all that don’t be surprised when a 12th house person in such an overlay is not ‘feeling’ this mutually. I literally wrote in my diary: “i might actually like him when it’s too late. Or just never lol i do not know.”

Update: I wrote this observation months ago in like april. It is now october and I’m starting to gain interest in him, albeit slowly and subconsciously, but, yeah 🤦‍♀️😂 i came back to this draft being like “WHATT?? Astrology had predicted this TOO for me???”

Moon trine pluto: you know when the fighting super intense troubled couple FINALLY gets together in this really intense and satisfying time when things are finally going the way they’re planned? Like an end all all good? That is this overlay, but constantly. On the outside, it’s the annoyingly passionate/emotional couple in a series that you don’t get because you haven’t seen them do any work to deserve this kind of intense fan-service scene. It’s because it lacked that kind of character development? It was me watching avengers infinity war with vision and wanda. I didn’t like the couple because i didn’t get it. I didn’t know their history i thought it was just some random very bland peaceful couple being very dramatic about each other all the time. Another example (i’m not shitting on this aspect i swear 😂) when a cartoon shows an example of a ‘romantic movie scene’ where the couple says “i loove you!!” And the other goes “oh bill!!” You don’t swoon because you’re like… okay. You get the oogies/ick because it’s like ‘ew that’s a couple’ anyways what I’m trying to say is that moon and pluto are not typical besties they’re supposed to be two problems kind of, they’re two very intense and bare planets, so harmonious flowing energy between them will feel kind of unsettling? Even. So these people will be kind of ‘gross’ with each other but in a soothing way. It’s how you imagine such a trine to be, but it plays out exactly like this irl too lmao! It feels bland on the outside because it’s always going well. And on the inside it plays in the background, because issues bring moon and pluto stuff to the foreground as a ‘theme’ in the relationship. So this aspect is also is the simple idea-of-a-passionate relationship. It’s the groaning “I’ll never let you go!!” Which doesn’t hit the same way for some people because there isn’t any drama or shit that happened before to deserve this pay off. However, some people loooove this aspect and by that I mean people in real life who like to have a secure and deep relationship where two hidden parts of people correspond and love each other well. This aspect is reaallly hard to let go of lol.

Sun conjunct mars: I call this the ‘spicy friends’ aspect. This is the aspect of two people who get into shenanigans together. I also see this aspect a lot with romantic couples who got together young, because it makes for boy-girl relations where the boy actually gets motivated by the person the girl is and the girl feels understood on the same level by the boy. They don’t get bored and so these people will forever get on or be aggravated by each other. It’s because these are two extremely conscious ‘in the moment’ planets so they easily fire off each other and it doesn’t take a lot of energy to have that interaction. No in between. It creates a certain ‘click’ that really motivates both for each other. Not in a deep/karmic way, but in a way that their behaviour connects easily and the energy gets going. It’s really easy to have good sex and interesting energy with this aspect so it’s a really potent aspect to get people together! Also fast, because conscious behaviour is accelerated by each other. I’m thinking dopamine..

Sun conjunct venus: unlike mars, venus is a cold planet, which is totally okay in a synastry, only the interaction plays out a little different. Sun and venus don’t fire off each other. Their influence on each other is more passive and more ‘internal’. The sun, how basic it may sound, warms venus or even makes them burn. Venus gives the sun person chills. The venus person is responsible for the harmony and awesome functionality that this aspect brings. They will take a step back to fully adore and admire sun from afar sometimes. The sun will run to venus basically when it feels it needs love and beauty and also a kind of sensibility that the sun person misses, like a puzzle piece, and the venus person is Thee person who brings that in their life. Vice versa is the sun person someone who personally signifies beauty and love in the eyes of venus, while it brings the heat that the venus craves. So they become passionate and adoring about who each other is. So venus typically loves every little thing the sun person does and the sun person is just taken by the venus person every single day. Think Oliver (venus) and Loretta (sun) from Only Murders In The Building. This aspect makes for real contentment in a relationship because of the strong loving connection that it brings.

Mars in twelfth house synastry or composite: with this placement, you’re not even sure if the person is actually even attracted to you and if you’re making it all up in your head. This is also typically seen as a ‘synastry/composite of secrets’ which I wasn’t so sure about at the time I experienced this one myself, but now I realise, hey, that man actually had a girlfriend while he was giving me ‘special attention’ while holding back, with me being like ‘what could he mean what could he MEAN’ typical mars in twelfth scenario. One guy I had this with in composite was basically lying to me about his sex life and not having cheated on his previous girlfriend… and guess what… I had lied about my sexual history too 😭 I even thought to myself ‘why the f*ck did I lie that elaborately??? I didn’t even have to??’ But whatever, it’s the way of the worlds apparently 😂 but you see how this immediately creates distrust when it is not actually what we mean to do or coming from a place of disrespect. Oh and this aspect in composite also created months of us being like ‘🧍🏻‍♀️….🧍🏻‍♂️’ not normal sexual tension, but sexual tension we weren’t sure should be concreticised out loud or in action. We’d only kissed once Monthsss before which is basically nothing in western european student culture. It was like: “does this person know I’m still, in this moment, attracted to/like him/her? Am I making this all up in my head?”

Moon in the 8th house: a lot has been said about this aspect. Just a few things: intensity, yes. Either one will always be a significant person for the rest the person’s lives. It’s not nothing. It’s the basis of real all consuming love that’s a very rare and unique mix between total safety and total rush-like danger, which makes people think it’s a soulmate aspect. It’s actually not, imo, it’s a deeply (deeeeply) karmic aspect. It’s funny to see all the friends with benefits who have this aspect start out as “lol we don’t want a relationship” to “……. Lol nevermind” and end up together. They go back to each other because they’re simply too significant to each other. Fear of being vulnurable is also big on both so they either take that step or they’re just standing there forever. Mutual aspect, but it’s mutual in different ways. Truthfully, I don’t see this aspect so often in relationship charts. I see it with people who are in love with each other and aren’t together, or people who started out casual but still for some reason can’t let each other go after more than a year, or people who have had the roughest most obsessive breakup in history and ask me for advice. Often, people in relationships who have this aspect don’t come to astrologers for advice. They’re too ‘into’ one another to do that, I feel like.

Venus trine moon: cute cute cUTE because the venus loves reassuring the moon person with affection, which makes the moon person feel so safe and endorphined and warm. The moon person simply inspires that in venus! Great for a chart with more difficult aspects !

Moon conjunct jupiter: so if a guy is jupiter and the moon is a woman and they’re married, the woman doesn’t need to worry about jupiter feeling turned off from the relationship by her pregnancy. Moon is the feminine, the nurturer, the mother, jupiter adores and respects her. Jupiter inspires respect, optimism, friendships and all things serotonin. Jupiter will make the moon feel good. The kind of union where the guy will constantly declare how much he lovees her pregnancy glow ✨ the same goes ofc for lesbian relationships but since this is a cultural phenomenon i thought i might touch on it.

Moon opposite jupiter: i feel like this might be the opposite story :/ the girls motherhood and need for support and needs in general will just be the opposite to what the jupiter person finds ‘fun’ and joyful, BUT if they’ve made it this far in the relationship as to have a child together it should be okay. At least the cause of the behaviour would moreso be astrology, not misogyny.

Moon square jupiter: wife jokes, but the ones that are cute and funny.

Moon in third:

Being someone with a moon in third house be like: wow imagine going through something hard and not type 10k words in your notes app about it.

Having your moon overlay in someone’s third house be like: wow imagine going through something and not telling that person 10k words about it

Also: jupiter has such an underrated influence on us in astrology!! Jupiter radiates the most energy out of all the planets in our solar system and may be way more personal and influential than we think in astrology… And in synastry also it’s the MOON

[cerebralisis]

I decided to make my analysis of So High School into a separate post, because I can’t help but think of this song every time I see photos of Taylor at the games. And sure, it sounds like a love song on the surface until you remember that Taylor was bullied in high school and start to dig a little deeper. Feeling "so high school" is not something a 34 year old woman wants to feel.

Let’s look at the lyrics.

"I'm sinking, our fingers entwined, cheeks pink in the twinkling lights" = To me this sounds like drowning, embarrassment, and diving in with the sharks

"Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me" = You mean her first Chiefs appearance when they 'slid off in the getaway car' at the end? Nothing good starts in a getaway car, babes.

"I'll drink what you think and I'm high from smoking your jokes all damn night" = I mean...

“I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night" = What do we know about this movie? We know that it is renowned for its high school immaturity and misogyny. It’s about a bunch of horny boneheaded men who treat women like sex objects instead of people. Sounds a lot like football culture to me.

"Your friends are around so be quiet. I'm trying to stifle my sighs." = I'm in the box with your friends and family. I need to hold it together so I don't offend them, but I legit hate this.

"Cause I feel so high school" = SHE HATES THIS.

"Bittersweet 16 suddenly" = I don't think she was a fan of high school, you guys.

"Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me? It's just a game but really, I'm betting on all 3." = A clear reference to that kiss/marry/kill interview with Travis, while also saying "we're gonna get together, put on a show for everyone, and I'm going to slowly die inside until we're done."

"Get my car door, isn't that sweet. Now pull me to the backseat" = All I hear with this is Movie Director Taylor giving instructions to her leading man so they can get a good reaction from the audience.

"You know how to ball, I know Aristotle." = You're a jock. I'm a nerd. We are not compatible.

"Touch me while your bros play grand theft auto." = The official song lyrics on Spotify put grand theft auto in lowercase the first time and capitalized the second time. The capitalized GTA could refer to Travis's friends playing the video game, sure. But also - you know who was arrested in August 2023 for grand theft auto? Bashaud Breeland, a cornerback for the Kansas City Chiefs who played with Travis in the 2020 Super Bowl.

"It's true, swear, Scout's Honor" = Look it up, I dare you.

And my absolute favorite:

"On the brink of a wrinkle in time" = This is TTPD, folks. Of course there's going to be a literary reference. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle. The main character is a girl named Meg who is incredibly bright but struggles in school because she doesn't fit in with the other kids. After meeting a trio of badass witchy women, Meg travels to far-off worlds (a sort of deep portal time travel, you might say) where she joins the battle of light vs. darkness. What do we know about Taylor’s usage of light and darkness throughout her discography? It's giving… Reputation vs. Daylight? Shrouded in secrecy vs. out in the open? Based on everything else that Taylor has been hinting at through TTPD (not to mention Evermore and Midnights), it sounds like she is on the verge of diving into a much larger battle. And if I had to guess, I would bet that this battle will start during the Reputation re-release. Around Halloween. 🎃 When exile ends. Almost exactly 2 years after the Bejeweled music video was released. Maybe the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now cause she's dead?

I'm just speculating, but I will add that the 3rd book in the Time series is called A Swiftly Tilting Planet. There is a poem referenced through the book that goes like this:

With Ananda in this fateful hour, I place all Heaven with its power, And the sun with its brightness, And the snow with its whiteness, And the fire with all the strength it hath, And the lightning with its rapid wrath, And the winds with their swiftness along its path, And the sea with its deepness, And the rocks with their steepness, And the Earth with its starkness, All these I place with God's almighty help and grace between myself and the powers of darkness.

The word ‘Ananda’ mentioned above is the name of a character in the book, which is significant to the story because it’s a Sanskrit word that describes the eternal bliss that accompanies the ending of the rebirth cycle. If this series is what Taylor is referencing then it’s sounding more and more like she’s going to kill off Taylor TM and be done with the games, done with the reinvention. The plot summary of A Swiftly Tilting Planet says that it’s a book about "going back in time and changing might-have-beens." What decisions would she have made differently if she could do it all over again?

I don't know, friends. Take from this what you will. All I know is, this woman and all her brilliant duality is going to send me to a padded room. ✌🏻

[jadeacereigen]

Why I see Reigen as asexual

This is a very self-indulgent post, but it's his birthday today and I wanted to compile all the things about Reigen that make me see him as a fellow ace.

Please don't take this list too seriously! None of these are This Is Canon signs and some of them are just jokes. Also, it's pretty hard to find evidence of asexuality barring a character explicitly saying "hey i never feel sexual attraction" so bear with ne here.

1. That Scene With Dimple

Yeah, we all know the scene.

"But does love always have to come with sexual desires?" -Reigen Arataka

This is what almost asexual person asks at some point. It's just such an asexual quote. Society often conflates the two things as inherently hand-in-hand, but that's not true for everyone!

2. He never shows attraction to anyone

Now of course, the story is not primarily focused on him, and he's usually with Mob so he probably wouldn't be flirting in front of him. But there aren't even MOMENTS of him showing a smidge of attraction to other people, even when we see his life without Mob's presence. It really stands out in comparison to other goofy mentor figures in manga/anime who are commonly portrayed as hopeless flirts.

3. He's never been in a relationship before

When asked about his past romantic experiences in the official fanbook, he pretends he's had plenty of passionate romances and then describes a scene from Titanic before saying "Marriage is one of the countless types of lifestyles you can choose. It's best if everyone does whatever they want." So basically, despite being 29 years old at the time of the fanbook, he has had no significant romantic experiences and doesn't see himself getting married. (Even if he might be interested, as I'll explain in the next point.)

This is not exclusive to asexuality of course but it's a very common sentiment for ace people imo

4. He doesn't think he can be in a relationship

In Confession Arc, he has no idea how to ask someone out and has to cheat while giving advice to Mob. He also tells Serizawa afterward that if anyone saw him for who he really was, they'd turn him down right away.

But then, at least in the manga, he says that he hopes he can be in a relationship where he and his partner "can exist without distorting each other". So I think he does want to be in a relationship, he's just way too insecure about himself for many, many reasons.

I like to think one of these reasons is because he is asexual. It's a struggle for allo aces to find someone whose sexual preferences are compatible with ours, and yet it remains important to maintain our boundaries (aka not distort ourselves).

5. His anime outfit has ace flag colors

I mean. Gray, white, pink purple...

6. His reaction to a porn virus

Look at the face of this poor asexual man who spent an entire night trying and failing to get rid of a porn virus...

7. He is asexual

He is just asexual hope this helps (:

[bengiyo]

We Are Sucks, and BL Will Be Worse When This Succeeds

We Are the series, the latest empty drivel from New Siwaj, has crossed a line for me that I cannot abide. This show is nothing more than loosely connected setups for BL moments that are easy to gif or clip for maximum virality, designed to fulfill a financial obligation to iQIYI and otherwise keep the B- and C-tier BL pairs occupied with work. This show is saying nothing about the human condition with any verve, and there is no queer subtext or text to pull from any of these characters that the viewer isn’t already bringing to the table. 

I had stopped writing Stray Thoughts for this show because it doesn’t really have much of a plot or story to tell, but I am not going to be able to continue this show past episode 5. This show is the BL equivalent of a cumshot compilation. It is designed exclusively as fap material to coo over known BL pairs smiling at each other. I was chatting with @twig-tea yesterday about how after five episodes we still don’t really have anything resembling an arc for these characters and how it’s just a bunch of BL dudes hanging out. Twig described it as “disingenuous to [even] call it a show” and “...a bunch of compatibility workshops strung together.”

I hate this so much. There is no story being told here. This is like watching actor reels on IG or TikTok. There is nothing here to hold onto other than your baseline fondness for the cast. There was a moment in episode 5 that felt completely unscripted between Aou and Boom that felt like Boom reacting to being teased by Aou and not a moment between their characters. They didn’t even let Aou’s character confess the specificity of his feelings because they don’t matter to this show! It doesn’t matter why he likes Boom’s character! Just that he does! Why does Boom’s character respond so positively to these feelings? Why didn’t he take initiative on his own before? What changed at all? What’s the goddamn story here? There’s nothing! We just make it up and enjoy the smiles.

I usually don’t want to bitch about shows I don’t like extensively on here, and I especially don’t like spamming tags with negative commentary or musing on shows. However, there are 11 more episodes of this empty nothing, and 30 more episodes of New Siwaj trash on the horizon. He has become the GMMTV BL Babysitter, and I am horrified by what this means for the genre. I try to stay patient with New because usually he captures some form of gay melancholy or angst in his shows, but there is none of that here in We Are. All of these characters know each other and are basically just hanging out for about an hour of TV. 

I worry about stuff like this being good enough to monetize. There’s nothing interesting for me in this experience with a queer lens. There is no real story being told, and caring about any details as if they matter leads to questioning the integrity of the characters (are we really doing a slave narrative in a college BL again?). It feels like the end product of giving up on chasing ratings and only chasing virality to monetize the talent for ad spots, concerts, fan meets, and merch. No longer do we even need to make stories about compelling romances between men. We just need to get passably attractive boys on screen together and just ask them to smile. 

What does it mean for the genre if GMMTV goes another step forward with this and no longer brings any robust writing to the BL table. Are we satisfied with BL as glorified slideshows of shippable actors? What happens when GMMTV is able to easily milk this over other robust productions? Is this just the filler fluff to keep people engaged with the network between their solid projects to prove their bonafides? BL has always struggled with depictions of queerness, but are we at the point where we don't even try to tell stories that even feel queer? Is just simply putting boys next to each other enough? I don’t like this at all, and it unsettled me as I watched five episodes of We Are only to feel nothing. 

I am always half-joking about being over New Siwaj, but I really am at this point. 

[barblaz-arts]

One of my favourite pieces of your art is the collage of Young Vega, where she’s using make up to put similar scars on her face like Enid’s, etc. simply because of rhe moment where Wednesday asks Vega if she can have a kiss and she gets really upset when Vega rejects her, telling Enid ‘I should call my mother’.

Is there any chance you’d expand on that? We know Enid’s the most affectionate of the two but maybe Wednesday’s usual attitude has caused a severe lack of closeness between the two that Wednesday wants to rectify but is struggling.

I've talked about this before, actually! But okay let me elaborate a bit more.

So, I've mentioned before that who Vega is closest to depended on what period of her life we're talking here. When she was a kid, she was a lot closer to Enid. This because this was a time when Vega was her most hyperactive. Wednesday spent time with Vega of course, but Enid was the one who had the energy to play and entertain a hyperactive child werewolf. Wednesday was always her mother, but Enid was Vega's mom and bestest friend. This distinction doesn't mean one is less than the other, it's just how it is and how relationship compatability works.

Which is also why Wednesday was also so dang heartbroken in that collage lol She tries to bridge that gap with the physical affection that she doesn't usually favor, but because Vega is also Wednesday's daughter, it doesn't always work. Vega isn't always up for it, but when she is, Wednesday is very grateful.

As Vega grows older and becomes a lot more like Wednesday when it comes to her interests tho, Vega starts to become more distant with Enid. She doesn't hate her mom of course, they just don't have a lot in common, and Vega just isn't a child who wants to play around with her mommy anymore. The distance gets worse when Vega gets sent to Nevermore, and Enid is quite bummed to realize she's no longer her daughter's best friend(she's very happy Vega has an actual best friend outside of family tho. It's a very complicated thing)

This is also why the comic with Vega's first wolf out and the Meet the Addamses AU turned out the way they did. Wednesday was the one to comfort child!Vega with a hug because it's not something she often got to do. This was a very special moment for them, and for Wednesday, a privilege. Then in the time travel AU Teen!Vega bonds with a younger Enid and becomes best friends with her all over again, realizing how distant she has become with her mom and getting the necessary push to amend that when adult!Enid comes back.

This is the problem when I make comics that aren't necessarily posted in order lol. I highkey wish I'm able to show all this in a more coherent medium fit for a character and relationship driven story, but I'm grateful for your interest regardless of how disorganized this all is.

So, In a way, I supposed I've expanded on it, but I'm not sure if I'll ever make something that will be transparent about it. For now, just now that these little comics have been and will be made with all this in mind

[starbylers]

Honestly and truly, one thing that makes me so confident in Byler is the quality of most anti takes being absolutely horrendous. And I’m not talking about the childish hate, I mean when they actually try and make a critical point about the show.

The other day I saw a Mlvn say that Bylers apparently think Mike is being too ‘normal’ by dating El, and we are wrong because El actually ‘goes against societal norms’…because she grew up being abused in the lab…and because Will grew up ‘normally’ (was not abused in lab) Mike being with Will would actually be the choice that ‘traps him in normalcy’... And then I saw another one say that Mike dating El isn’t conformity because El is considered a ‘threat to society’...because of her powers. Like 😭😭😭

It just made me think…wow. You’re telling me this is the grasp the opposing side have on the themes of the show, how those themes influence the characters, and how that all interacts within the social context of the time period? El is a girl. Will and Mike are both boys. It’s the 80s. Obviously the situation is more complicated and nuanced than just those facts, but it is truly not that hard to understand where conformity might come into play.

Like society is not oppressing Mike because he decided to date a female superhero 💀 meanwhile him growing up in an extremely homophobic place and time period maybe possibly definitely could lead to suppression of his sexuality and dating someone of the opposite sex rather than his 1000x more compatible same-sex friend because society would deem that immoral and wrong. Also yes, El does deal with mental health difficulties stemming from her childhood and it certainly impacts how she moves through the world, but again…what societal conventions and rules is Mike rejecting/not conforming to by dating a girl who happens to struggle with childhood trauma? No-one who we come across in the series finds anything strange about these two dating, in fact their feelings are suspected/expected by their friends before they even get together.

It’s wild that they think the height of nonconformism in 1980s small town America is having made-up superpowers…when a gay man is literally right there…and them also implying that El being traumatised makes her like, 'not-normal enough’ for her and Mike’s relationship to be considered subversive or something…sure is an opinion! A really awful one!

It’s like they’re conflating conformity with ‘everyday normalness’, and using fantasy elements and dramatic plots within the show to prove how different from regular reality/life the Mlvn pairing is, rather than understanding conformity (the theme spelled out for us in the show) for its actual definition—behaviour in accordance with socially accepted conventions.

Just saying if you ever worry that you think too deeply into Byler evidence…just remember that at least you’re actually thinking. The “worst” Byler take will always be a million times more carefully thought-out than the “best” anti take.

[unsurebazookacore]

So I was talking to a friend today whose definitely part of the ga, and he told me “oh yeah Mike and El’s relationship in season 4 felt really weird, like most of the time you don’t see a side character dating the main character so it felt kinda off”

And like we all know that while the Cali subplot was less than spectacular compared to all the others, Mike and Will DEFINITELY aren’t side characters

But it got me thinking, what if that was the intention? Like what if the whole point of separating Mike and El, and making Mike feel like a side character while El is in the spotlight, front and center, was to make the ga sense the serious disconnect between El and Mike in their relationship, like make them realize that pairing doesn’t work together because they’re just fundamentally not on the same level if that makes sense.

Like season 4 spends so much time highlighting the stark differences between El and Mike, whether it’s Mike belittling himself and placing El on the “superhero” pedestal, or El feeling as if Mike doesn’t understand her struggles, and feeling too insecure to even tell him about it.

Meanwhile consistently throughout the season, Mike and Will are framed as in the same boat, facing their problems together, and constantly supporting each other: A TEAM. I mean I think the real intention of that choice in season 4 was to leave the ga seeing that where Mike and El are in two different places right now, Will and Mike are always on the same page, making them more compatible. So in season 5 when they return to having bigger roles, that inconsistency with Melvin remains while that synergy with Byler shows through more than ever.

[radioactive-earthshine]

Why do you ship prestonthad?

They are different enough to be compatible and complimentary and yet also both share some similarities that they can bond over and help each other grow even if their abuse is drastically different, and the end result with their abusers are different.

Preston to Thad is the walking living and breathing version that he too can have love after so much indoctrination and abuse, that being failed so tremendously does not mean he needs to doom himself because "nothing matters" but because yes, he does matter.

Preston liked him when he was pretending to be Bart, yes he was a little mean sometimes, but Preston still found joy in his company as Bart Allen and they were still compatible as friends.

The story of Mercury Falling was sort of two pronged to show that Bart as he was was still valid and loved, but also that Thad was worthy of love as well, and he was.

Also this is something that sort of got written out of Preston's character but Preston is also a little mean sometimes too and is a devious little shit with big ambitions. I think anyone that is Bart's friend has to be a little bit of a little shit themselves just to keep up with him.

Thad to Preston is someone that can listen to him vent and rant about his own abuse and struggles in an authoritarian household where it implied that his own dreams for making movies was belittled, and that he might 'never be anything more' than what his mother wanted him to be. When others might go "awww" and "oooh you poor thing" Thad just nods and agrees "that was bullshit" and it's not awkward or weird to talk about it.

Thad is also more studious than Bart and I feel like he would be a great second nerd for Preston to talk about film specifically and plot structure. Wade exists for this sort of niche too but two nerds are never identical and Thad might fill a different area that Wade doesn't and it might be one that Preston really craves interaction with.

I also think Bart's outrage at finding out Thad is dating one of his best friends is hilarious.

Note: all of this is pretty much dependent on a redeemed version of Thad who accepted Max's offer in Mercury Falling or just... FMA never happened.

[dropthedemiurge]

Got prompted by @pinkkop but also partially this might end up as the controversial Thai BL post because the range of characters I'd defend with the passion is very wide for me:D

8 BL BOYS I WILL THROW HANDS FOR

Uea (Bed Friend)

This show isn't jokingly called 'A Tale of 1000 Traumas' for no reason, I mean – there is only so much one young adult can go through, and Uea has been through... well, almost everything. Tagging hurt/comfort fics on AO3 will result into red triggers all around. What fascinates me in this character is his resilience, too. He managed to go through everything with the sheer will power and knowing his own worth, what he deserves and what he does not. I am so glad the show made an active choice to send him to therapy and give him a considerate and loving boyfriend! He really needs both.

Sky (Love in the Air)

Again, no surprise that everyone would want to protect Sky. The acting was also chef's kiss in this show, I know I shouldn't be but I absolutely enjoyed seeing Sky getting triggered and sent to the red-lit room in his mind because this was pure cinematography, but irl I would just hug Sky with consent and never let him go. And kick Gun until he never rises up again too. I think Rain should've been given full freedom to avenge for his best friend. But this is also why I'm writing all these skyrain fics – because they are safe space for each other and I want to keep seeing it.

Rain (Love in the Air)

Ehem, like I said– the show has not declared it loudly but he's one of the most ADHD characters in Thai BLs if I ever saw one. He does not deserve to be mocked for his struggles and airheadness. I wish we saw more of him playing into his strengths beside taming a dom, instead of being infantilized by the show sometimes. Don't ask me to dive into full analysis though, I only could watch the PayuRain half of the show once so I'm going off vibes I remember, but I absolutely adore Rain and love reading fics that focus on his ADHD headcanon and how others understand and help him. And also those platonic BDSM tendencies he has with his best friend Sky.

Kawi (Be My Favorite)

For this guy, I would not fight the show or narration because they treated both characters and viewers with care, gentleness, wise teaching and love (Max is a harsh brat but that's his personality). I would actually fight the fandom: from people who hate-watched this show and refused to acknowledge it was amazingly done further than 'i might've liked it but ew screw this actor and novel the show was inspired by amiright don't judge me for liking it jk lol' to some individuals who missed the beautifully developed and portrayed close bond (aspec on at that, I'll stay firm) that spread across >10 years and different timelines and reduced Kawi to immature whiny weirdo who's scared to fuck Pisaeng ten times a day instead of one, idk. This show is a gem with many life-lessons and Kawi has one of the strongest and fascinating character development in Thai BLs that I've seen. Hands are being thrown.

Boston (Only Friends)

The creators of the show said the series didn't have any intentional message, but considering how many long discussions and poured out frustrations we had with some people, Only Friends definitely did Boston wrong. So what if he's a proud slut, should the show punish him for it while praising 'righteous' characters high on their horses? I don't think so. My guy was constantly filmed illegally and threatened by his hookups and friends, he's very hesitant about falling in love but he tried his best with clearly spoken offers, poly views and limits. I also see Boston kinda neurodivergent and/or demiromantic based on many lines he said about himself and his own view of people and relationships in the series. Nick might not be fully compatible with him, and I would throw hands for both of them, but if those two would communicate better, there would be no need for the OOC "twist" at the end. Their story could be beautiful, sad and realistic, instead Boston being kicked down in the street dirt by everyone after opening up about his heart and fears made me angry.

Akk (The Eclipse)

These descriptions just keep getting longer and longer? Oops... I don't think I need to explain the desire to protect Akk – this guy has not stopped crying since a mischievous and passionate newbie managed to break through his 100m thick wall of composure, pokerface and sheer will to survive. And also through all the manipulation Akk faced from the people he looked up to. Akk and everything that he went through managed to rip my heart out, and I'm not kidding. If you're repressed, oppressed and/or struggling with money, desire to make your parents proud and can't help but feel 'disapproved' feelings for someone – meet Akk, he's very relatable. I'd protect him and you too.

Thua (The Eclipse)

*clears throat* I did say this post would get controversial. I can and I will consider 90% of the people who hate Thua as lacking media literacy :D But without getting into useless fandom discussions, Thua is a poor teenager that needs love and support to be able to find himself and his own voice. He's stressed out by a harsh step-father, constantly facing homophobia and mocking in school, has suicidal intentions and the only good friend who opposed homophobic students and teachers, who showed him safe space and helped reach out to his mother, encouraged him to speak out loudly... went behind everyone's back, started dating the main "bully" of the school who threatened every queer for months and decided to support him while silencing students' and Thua's voices. At least that's what Thua experienced from his POV. Would you throw hands? Thua did, and while I may not agree with how he handled the situation, I can't hate him. He finally stood up for himself and his own, tried to change the system, and I'd fight Suppalo school for him too.

Black (Not Me)

There's someone who doesn't need my protection at all! A second before turning into bloody merciless activist-fighter who doesn't shy away from murdering capitalists and cops, I would still want Black not to think he's better off alone. While antagonistic sexually-tense exchange of comas with his ex-best friend can count as one of the most delicious type of romance that happened in subtext not text, he still deserved to seek solace in his ex-girlfriend and (ex? they were so close, why Gram does not care about him at all when he returns? we'll never know) other activist friend's company. Also, fighting with his life to change something in how the country works and hearing 'nah, your twin is better, he knows how to fight with social media so we achieved more with him than with you' from his mentor and Black deciding that he should again ditch everyone he cares about...noo:( I need spin-off about him where he gets everything he really deserves.

[talenlee]

4e: The Cultures Of Gender

I’ve spoken about the approach of roleplaying games, which tend to be garbage and I hold them up in contrast to what feels like the one good roleplaying game at actually doing this, which is Dungeons & Dragons. And you know what the best Dungeons And Dragons was? That’s right, 4th edition. Admittedly, it did struggle a little with its Approach because character classes are like whole chunks that break things up but anyway, in 4th edition, the approach includes a thing about what names each culture has and there, there, in that spot, we see the dread spector that is gender.

Yes! If you pick a Halfling it’ll show you how a Halfling does things but it’ll mention at the end how there are Male Halflings and Female Halflings. And that means you can check out all the cultures one by one and see which of them don’t have this structure. That’s right! You can find which of your player options in the D&D rulebook don’t have genders by looking for the ones that don’t have gendered names.

As it happens, there were more than I thought yet fewer than I could imagine.In the presented-by-Wizards rules for 4e D&D there are four significant cultures that have non standard relationships to genders. And here they are!

Glossary Note: Conventionally, the term used in D&D for this mechanical package is race. This is the typical term, and in most conversations about this game system, the term you’re going to wind up using is race. For backwards compatibility and searchability, I am including this passage here. The term I use for this player option is heritage.

Top of the list for weird gender heritages in Dungeons & Dragons 4th edition is the Shardmind. They’re one of only two cultures specifically called out as being genderless. Shardminds are floating crystals, ancient entities created during a historical event and in all those years, they’ve never felt any reason to develop ‘gender’ as a social construct. Which makes sense! They’re a whirling mass of hard crystalline metal that occasionally takes a form like a heavy metal album cover, and that is cool. Ironically, one of the most interesting things about the Shardmind is that they don’t have a gender because when you only get a single page of text about a heritage in the rulebook, the skipping of gendered names and the addition of ‘hey, they don’t have a gender’ represents a significant contribution to a cultural framework.

Weird to know that any given Shardmind can be a century old and level 1 but you know some of us took a long time to finish our education, yeah?

Thri-Kreen don’t have male or female names. They’re just, you know, bugs. If you’re not familiar with a Thri-Kreen, they’re a culture of seven foot tall jumping stick bugs that have weird behaviours and every single piece of 2nd edition lore persisting through Dark Sun. They eat horses. They’re afraid of fireworks. They worship dragons. They have breathing holes on the sides of their necks and can jump through the air so far that it takes them multiple rounds to land. Some of those things I just made up but they all work. One of my favourite details about Thri-Kreen and their gender ambiguous names is the way that the book description does nothing to explain the Thri-Kreen as a culture, which means that the Thri-Kreen player options let you play a character who is a Thri-Kreen, with a cultural grounding from a resource that doesn’t really know anything about them.

“Sure, you can be a Thri Kreen. They’re big bugs.”

“Sure, what does that mean for me?”

“Euughhh well they’re very mysterious.”

Then meanwhile on the clanking and banking side of things, there’s Warforged. They do not have access to gender, because it was not deemed as necessary for this ordinance that was, again, designed to be delivered to fight in a war, by a military-industrial complex. Note that this doesn’t stop them from building all Warforged with masculine-coded bodies, because, it’s like when someone in a patriarchal society tries to represent physical power they uh, yeah they do that. Anyway, okay, so they are a genderless culture made by a gendered society and then left after the whole war affair to come up with ‘gender’ on their own.

Some did, I’m sure. You know how it is with our society, we put gender on everything, even when we don’t know what it is.

Changelings, who are the best, are the heritage that explicitly mentions that they change genders. Specifically, they talk about how they take on different identities and genders, and that implies both that identities and genders aren’t linked (of course, I’m this character you met last week, but now a different gender!) but it also is written with the energy of people trying on clothes at a thrift store. Changelings are a culture that does not have native gender, but because they are social creatures who interface with cultures that do, they have learned to take on and impersonate genders. Like with everything, it’s a performance and they know that and they play with that. What I’m saying is that Changelings rule and are the best and even though ostensibly they’re not part of the official open source material I can work with, y’know, who cares, they’re great, love them to pieces.

Finally, there’s the inexplicable example of the Wilden. The Wilden are a culture of fey creatures, made out of branches and twigs and bark, who are alive in a conventional way but also not a comprehensible way. They’re not pumps and goo and blood and humours and whatnot, they’re fey lifeforms and they’re connected to nature and they’re these things that don’t even have a proper boundary for understanding themselves as individual with a tendency to not say ‘I’ and instead use the personal pronoun ‘we.’

And for some reason these people who struggle with individuality still have an idea of gender and ways to express gender identity with names and third person pronouns.

How bloody dumb is that?

Alright, okay, conclusion. Centralising thesis statement. Look: Nothing we make is neutral. Everything you make is a product of who you are in the world and the things you see as being normal. Even when you’re trying to present something alien it will only ever be alien in response to the things you already conceive of as non-alien. There’s nothing wrong with using your own world as a framework to start with — I mean what else can you do! — but when you look critically at your own work, you’ll start to see things you assume about the world.

Like that bugs and plants probably don’t relate to gender the same way you do!

Or maybe they do and your gender is ‘pillbugs on skateboards!’

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

Match-Up Request Guide & Rules

Status; CLOSED

Match-ups for Twisted Wonderland, which will include the main cast, staff, and some of the side characters. They can be for yourself or an OC of yours, all I ask is to limit it to one person per ask. 

When I am accepting match-up requests, I try to respond to them in a timely manner. But when match-up requests are closed I will sit on them for a bit, as I may be busy working on something else. Please be mindful of that. If I receive quite a few match-ups when my status says CLOSED I may just end up deleting them, so that I don't feel overwhelmed.

PLEASE INCLUDE

Name (can be a nickname of yours, your OC, or emoji, please don’t share your name if you are uncomfortable doing so) For anons, please see the Match-Up Masterlist since stuff tends to get lost in the sauce here.

If you want a platonic and/or romantic match-up. I will not write anything NSFW for match-ups so please do not include NSFW in your request.

Pronouns

How you see your personality

How a friend would describe your personality (I know some people struggle to describe their personality, so a friend helps)

Hobbies and interests (feel free to infodump)

What you are looking for in a relationship

What you cannot stand/will not tolerate in a relationship 

How do you show affection

How do you want to receive affection

Bonus, but not necessary

Sun sign, Moon sign, Rising sign (if you know it), Mercury sign, & Venus sign

Meyers-Briggs type 

Enneagram

Appearance & fashion sense

Sexuality & romantic orientation

I can write polycules, queer-platonic relationships and other types of relationships, please mention what form you would like.

I can also gender-bend the characters, since I know there are quite a few sapphic and woman-attracted people in this fandom; I see you. Just leave; For match-ups can I have the gender-bent version? (nothing really changes except pronouns)

Tropes that you like; friends to lovers, found family, bickers like an old married couple, etc.

If you would prefer the main cast, side characters, and/or the staff.

If there are any characters you would be uncomfortable with

Disclaimer: You may not receive your favourite character, as I may see a different character(s) being more compatible. But!!!! Remember, just because someone says (insert character name here) would match you, it doesn’t mean you and your fav wouldn’t work. If you are considerably older or younger than your match-up you can imagine them, or yourself/OC aged up, as that is what I do. The match-ups will be at least 350 words long and I will try to keep them at the same relative word count for each request.

[chvoswxtch]

Hi Court! Happy 3k! Can I scan my ticket for Folklore? I’d like to know if you think Frank would date a black woman. I’m very dark skinned, like Lupita Nyong’o black, and I struggle with finding myself attractive because a lot of my friends are more light skinned and they get attention from all kinds of guys. I feel like you know and understand Frank’s character very well, so I’m curious to know your thoughts.

Also I want to thank you for being so inclusive in your writing. You’re so descriptive, but in a way that doesn’t pull me out of the story because you mentioned a specific trait that I as a black woman don’t have. You’re so talented, and you deserve every bit of 3k and more! 💖

my darling sweet nonnie, do not let a man's preference dictate how you feel about yourself. I bet that you are absolutely stunning, and I think lupita is one of the most gorgeous women in the world and has such a beautiful skin tone

i'm very happy you find my work inclusive. I want everyone to be able to insert themselves into the story and feel fully immersed, bc I write selfishly for myself sometimes, but a majority of the time I write for y'all. I want everyone to feel included 🖤

I absolutely think frankie would date a black woman and i'm gonna ramble about this under the cut bc I have many feelings about it

I do find it a bit odd that we didn't see frank with a poc bc pretty much all of the other netflix shows have characters in interracial relationships

matt had claire and elektra

jess had luke

billy had dinah

danny had colleen

trish had malcolm

but yet all 3 of frank's love interest were all white women (maria, karen, beth). [i'd count curtis if they weren't so sibling coded] bc it's so prevalent in the other shows, i'd like to believe this was some kind of oversight in the casting department and not intentional

I feel like frank values personality over looks. now he definitely notices when someone is attractive, but I think his attraction to someone is based on whether or not he feels a compatibility. I mean, the man literally has chemistry and sexual tension with everyone

in conclusion, yes, he totally would. and now that he's coming back, and it's still not looking good for karen returning (which means no kastle which lowkey makes me sad), i'd really like to see some more diversity in his love interests

i'll be opening my requests back up once I finish this celebration so if you'd like a frank fic x black reader fic just for you, let me know :)

thank you again, my darling!

[einsteinsugly]

I'm sending this to three T70s blogs! What are your very most controversial/unpopular That 70s Show opinions? To get the ball rolling, I'll confess a few of mine since I'm on anon and can't be attacked :) 1. I always shipped Jackie/Eric to the point where they're a true OTP of mine. I have no idea why. Usually when I ship non-canon couples, it's because they're very close friends whose personalities seem incredibly compatible to me...but Jackie and Eric aren't especially close (despite being in the same general group), and they don't seem very compatible or even to care about and respect each other that much. (Though Jackie's "hero" line melts me!) Tbh, it probably just comes down to the fact that Jackie and Eric are by far my two favorite characters. I love analyzing, writing about them, and envisioning how they might have worked if I conveniently ignore 97% of canon. I'm pathetic :) 2. I wouldn't really like Hyde in real life and don't think he was a particularly good romantic partner at all. (*ducks*) I mean, he was an improvement over Kelso, but who isn't?! I just think fandom idealizes him a bit too much. It's a matter of taste, though---the super 'edgy, rebel, proudly rude, 'duuude, I shoplift and smoke a lot of weed and would rather set myself on fire than eat in a mainstream chain restaurant' kind of guys just aren't my personal type :) 3. Sort of related to the first two confessions: I don't think Jackie and Hyde would make each other happy long term. They had some wonderful moments on the show, but I really just don't think they'd give each other what they want. 4. I don't really get how some newer fans turn Laurie into this root-worthy 'girlboss' who's just misunderstood- she's supposed to be unrepentantly, hilariously terrible, and she is! Sometimes it really is as simple as that :) 5. (*whispers*) More often than not, I enjoy Kelso. Obviously as a boyfriend to Jackie, but as a character who - for me - really does add a lot of humor and energy to the show. i can't wait to read yours, and please don't hate me for mine!

Don't you mean, obviously not as a boyfriend to Jackie?

To your points.

1. Jackie and Hyde can work long term, to me. They're stubborn, but they give eachother what they want. Love and stability.

2. I do think Laurie was mistreated by her mother and was unrightfully slut shamed. However, she goes beyond this, and willingly home wrecks. Ultimately, she falls back into her old patterns whenever things get hard. She has potential to be better, but she is morally grey, if you will. She is willing to do almost anything to get what she wants.

*****

Okay, now mine.

1. I've said this before, but I think T9S is worse than season 8. If only because season 8 is way easier to fix.

2. I tend to regard season 8 as canon, if only because it logistically meshes (unfortunately). Both post-season 8 and post-season 7 verses are canon. T9S is not, since it logistically clashes with both, in a huge way (*cough* sixteen year old Jay *cough*).

3. I do not think Jackie can truly overcome all of her conservative biases via Hyde. She would really struggle to accept a child that seriously strays from the norm. It sucks. It's one of those things where she outwardly accepts it, to be politically correct, but it's obvious that it's not how she really feels. She'd ultimately accept a gay or bi kid, but it would take her years to accept a trans/gender non-conforming kid. And even then, she still wouldn't get it/understand it.

4. Okay, T7S takes place in the past. Blatant historical anachronisms, to adhere to modern standards, do way more harm than good. It leads some readers to believe things were better than they actually were, which is a fucking disservice. I strive to be historically accurate, not just in material things, but in attitudes too. It varies from character to character, but still.

5. Jackie, for the most part, would be awful irl. I've met good Jackies in the past, but a lot of bad ones, too (*cough* family members *cough*).

6. Only Jackie, and maybe Fez, would be a Swiftie.

[theajaheira]

hello!!!! things to pontificate about. angel. i would just love to hear your thoughts about angel. and the rest of the fanged four. and know that im waiting for that jennyangel fic i really am. but yes! specifically i would love to hear any thoughts you have on the dynamic of jenny/angel/darla. because i think thats just. yeah. darla created angel and angel is such a huge part of jenny's life, and just. yeah. plus the attitude darla has about her soul is so different from angel's

ok so first of all this is such a hilarious question because -- i need you to know this -- i have a jenny/spike/drusilla vamp polycule fic in the works. so just the energy of you asking me about jenny + how she'd interact with the couple in the fanged four that i am NOT currently drafting a vamp polycule fic for is SOOOO FUNNY and also so wonderful bc it gives me an opportunity to really think here! i love you for this.

long wordy answers under the cut!

my thoughts on angel. hmm. i think i am mean to him a lot on this blog but i hope everyone here knows it's out of love. i think i want to see him and jenny have a Gothic Romance that is really fucked up. i think he and cordelia rewired my brain at 14 and i've never recovered -- there's no other love story with that specific friends-to-lovers energy in the buffyverse, and i LOVE that it grows out of the people we see them grow into! i love that btvs s1 angel and cordelia are not even remotely compatible long-term but ats angel and cordelia develop this incredible friendship that blossoms into a loving connection! and actually maybe a lot of this is just how i'm not normal about angel and cordelia, ever. i think angel on btvs and angel on ats are two different characters so when i'm beating angel on btvs over the head with a stick that has nothing to do with angel on ats and i hope we all know that. world's most favorite manpire. mr. dad. sings barry manilow and wants cordelia to say she loves him as a friend and colleague. is soooo normal.

i don't spend A Lot of time thinking about the fanged four simply because, again, not my circus not my monkeys, but i have a softness for them!!! spike i have mentioned i sorta steer clear of lately, but i would literally fucking kill a man for drusilla, who is done so dirty in canon and fanon alike, and i think all the time about jenny/drusilla because they would be so insanely obsessed with each other as vampires.

and darla...hmm. i have never quite felt like i know how to capture her voice in a way that's particularly nuanced, though that's never been a problem within my writing bc she really only cameos in, like, nocturne for two seconds? i think? i'm not usually writing things set in a time/place where darla would be around so she just kinda never shows up.

iiiii think jenny's take on darla would be one of just intense crushy interest, because darla holds absolute power over the man who has held absolute power over her. like there's something super aspirational about darla to jenny. darla meanwhile would probably initially harbor a lot of resentment towards jenny, but actually getting to know her would probably have her do a complete 180. (i think darla n drusilla would both be super fucking interested in jenny, who grew up in this family surrounded by every reason to hate them and still tried to find a way to forge her own path. they'd want her in the family.)

i also think though that IF turned, IN a situation where darla's still around, jenny and darla would be in a really intense competition for control of the family dynamic that would slowly but surely transition into a really intense romantic connection. so there would be a lot of Romantic Weirdness when it comes to jenny/angel/darla because both of them want his attention, and both of them want each other's attention, and both of them think that they should be the one in charge, and the entire time they're probably both having a lot of fun with it because it's a Sexy Slightly Violent Power Struggle. also angelus likes pretending that he has the capacity to put jenny in her place and jenny likes crushing him under her heel and darla really will look at that situation and go "that is 100 percent my baby girl" (and i do mean that in a sex way.) though i wonder if in this situation drusilla and jenny might have some weird vibes a la jenny and buffy? where there's a lot of similarities and so drusilla has some Older Sister resentment, because SHE had it hard, and now mom and dad know how to parent better and the baby is just getting SPOILED, and how is THAT fair?

[aethernightmare]

Bojack Horseman was such an important show for my own mental health recovery journey after everything I want through in 2022/2023. It's something I never would have imagined liking, and ironically I'm not a fan of the comedy or art-style whatsoever, but this show was practically therapy for how spot-on and accurate it was to my own life these past few years. So much so, that it was frequently uncomfortable or even painful to get through, but in a good way. Like rubbing alcohol in an infected wound.

I feel like I've been in the shoes of Princess Carolyn, Herb, and Diane especially. I was in a long-term relationship with someone who was a Mr. Peanutbutter while manic and sober, and a Bojack while intoxicated or depressed. Some of the arguments we had towards the end of our association with one another were almost scarily verbatim to what's in this show. And it was validating to see characters like myself enmeshed in such a relationship, their steps of getting untangled from it, finding spouses and careers that treated them with respect, and that they didn't have to be flawless, perfect people to deserve better.

And the show works so much better because Bojack isn't awful all of the time. If anything, many people will (unfortunately) find him super relatable. He has great potential, and does occasionally go out of his way to help others. You feel bad for him because he is a product of his past, having gone through through child abuse and more layers of generational trauma than even he is aware about. But all of this is drowned by his lack of accountability towards himself, or his refusal to accept professional therapy/medication (despite his excessive self-medicating with substance abuse). Making him his own worst enemy, because he always finds a way to undo his own progress, and pin the blame on everything or everyone else around him. Despite the fact that his actions have widespread repressions outside of himself, derailing the lives of the whole cast, or in some cases, even ending them.

If anything, the most relatable thing for me is his relationship with Diane. The two share so many mental health similarities in regards to anxiety and depression, but while Bojack always starts his own fires, Diane is the one stepping up to put both of theirs out. She goes to therapy, she tries multiple jobs, she reaches out to new people, she gets back on anti-depressants, she finds a decent and compatible relationship, she learns from her mistakes, she actively tries to be a force of good in people's lives, and she eventually as a result turns her life around for the better. Whenever life kicks her down, she always tries to get back up.

While Bojack on the other hand always expected someone else to drag him back to shore. Which is why no matter how badly he treated her, or talked down to her, in his biggest binds, he'd always call Diane. Even in his drug-tripped hallucinations, he was still often being 'saved' by a fictional version of her. Because she's always the one to comfort him, bring him back to reality, give him new perspectives, or drive him to rehab. Because she's practically by default, always taking steps to be the bigger person. She isn't a flawless character by any means, far from it. But she is in a way Bojack's opposite, despite having many of the same traumas and mental health struggles.

Even during his presumed last moments of consciousness, he called Diane, and just wanted to be with her as he died. The version he was able to reach was just a figment of his imagination (the real Diane was both asleep and on the other end of the country, and received a horrifying voicemail upon waking up), but I think it's telling that despite how shitty he always treats her, the version in his head is reflective of the kindness she always gave him. Meaning deep down, he knows who she really is, despite the things he has tried to ridicule or blame her for. She's arguably his most important person too, yet not once could he ever fully be there for her in return. Which is why their final talk is both heartbreaking and relieving. Because Diane deserves better, and he needs to learn to be better, without relying on her as his main/only pillar of support. Especially if he's not going to be there for her in return, or if he's going to blame her whenever he's not strong enough to emotionally hold himself up in ways we're all expected to as adults. Diane deserves someone who's there for her as much as she is for them. Platonically and romantically. And likewise, Bojack can't acclimate to genuine independence if he always has access to her as a crutch.

It's why the last episode (the whole of season 6, really) is especially heartbreaking for me. Bojack needs to learn to be a better person, but until he learns to become that himself, with professional therapy, nothing anybody else does for him will matter. It also mirrors my final conversation with the most important person from my life too, in part because this time, I was inspired by the show itself. Because it was able to help me see all of the gaslighting and manipulation that my "Bojack" did to me. And the insecurities behind why he did it. The previous arguments we had were all coincidences in their similarities, but this series helped me shape at least our final talk into the things I wanted to convey. I also know he's not ready to accept help yet, and as a result, just like Diane and Bojack, it may have been the last time we ever talk to one another. But at least in some ways, it helped me find closure.

Because I genuinely do want him to get help, but like all abusers and addicts, he needs to want to get help first. He needs to be ready to commit to it. And as my own therapist as already told me, "If your support was going to be the thing that changes him, repairs the relationship, and gets him to stop drinking/using, it already would have done so by now. So you need to fire yourself from that position, because you're clearly not the right person for the job." And they were right. I'm not. But I needed to learn that, and this show was a major part of helping me do so.

There are days I miss the old "Diane" (my old self). And I'll always miss the good times I had with "Bojack/Peanutbutter" (my ex), but they weren't healthy, and I can be grateful for the times we had, even if they weren't meant to last forever.

So to the creators of Bojack Horesman, thank you.