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rocketrole-jmzc · 5 years

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Elton had woken up to an empty bed with a blaring head ache as he always seemed to now a days. He knew he had booked a booth at the studio for the week but it was Wednesday and he knew he could get away with missing one day out of the five that he had booked. The sun was already in the middle of the sky by now and Elton cursed whoever had left the curtains open, it was too damn bright. He blindly searched his bedside table for a pill bottle popping a few painkiller managing to swallow them dry before reluctantly reopening his eyes. Lazily Elton swung his legs over the bedside and padded down toward the kitchen passing John's office on his way down. The door was shut which was seldom the case but Elton didnt think much of it. Coffee had already been brewed and Elton poured himself a cup splashing baileys into the mug and sighing as he brought it to his lips. There was a dull thud above him and Elton sighed, with his pre existing headache and sour mood he didnt want to investigate but then he heard a similar sound but louder like something had fallen. Reluctantly Elton set down the mug and made his way back up the stairs opening the door to John's office caught him off guard "Excuse me?" He shouted his brain working to hard to process what he was seeing to say something proper.

Earlier that morning John’s secretary was over delivering some paperwork. Although it was work that could easily be mailed, the two had been casually flirting for a couple weeks now and the man was going out of his way to see John. John never thought things would go this far but now he had the man pinned down against the desk, clothes discarded long ago and going at it. John and Elton had been drifting apart for months, barely talking aside from fighting, and John thought Elton was out of the house so he wasn’t being careful. When the door to the office opens his secretary quickly pushes John off of him, looking guilty and scrambling to put on his clothes. John’s slower about it; he knows he should feel guilty or embarrassed but he’s mostly just annoyed to have been interrupted. “I thought you were out,” he supplies after putting his boxers back on, working to pull on his pants and get his belt done up.

Eltons jaw sets in place as he watches the other two scramble apart his stomach lurching at the sight of his partner being unfaithful. He scoffs at the other mans words feeling his rage boiling up inside him "That all you've got to say John? Hm? Really that's all you have to say," He says his voice high and tight as he works hard to keep himself from shouting. The secretary is still scrambling to grab his things and Elton glares daggers at the young man "and you," his tone is low and feral as he addresses the secretary "Get out!" He shouts at the secretary his breathing heavy from hurt and frustration as the man scrambles away.

John watches him go then turns to Elton, his expression the same as if Elton was just a minor annoyance, or simply a mild inconvenience needing to be dealt with. “Quite frankly it’s a miracle you’re sober enough to even process what’s going on around you,” he marvels, pulling on his undershirt and beginning to do up the buttons.

Eltons eyes narrowed his heart pounding "That's it? Youre screwing your fucking secretary in /my house/ and that's all you have to fucking say John?" Hes aware hes screaming now approaching John as he speaks "How fucking long? Huh? A week? A month? Is this all the fucking work you need to do?" Elton barely stops for a breath shoving John knowing it wont help the situation but his blind rage is too strong for him to stop himself.

The shove quickly changes John’s demeanor, his shoulders squaring and his jaw clenching. “This was the first time, actually. I’m surprised I didn’t think of it sooner, what with you always gone, high, or picking fights with me,” he shoots back, starting to get angry. “Did you seriously think you could get away with always lashing out physically, without any ill consequences? The work I’ve been needing to do is covering up black eyes you give me,” he brings attention to their more recent fights, which had been getting increasingly more violent.

Elton audibly laughs at John's words "First time? Or first time with him John and dont you dare act all high and mighty when we both know that I am not the only one causing fights," His words rose with anger knocking over one of the chairs in front of John's desk "And lucky for both of us, I had to learn how to cover up that shot of thing very quickly," he sneered in John's face now but he turns away quickly shaking from the anger he cant control.

“Don’t fucking break anything in here,” John warns when Elton knocks over the chair. He rolls his eyes at the others words. “It’s not my fault you thought I loved you enough to only ever be with you,” he practically spits. The seconds the words leave his mouth he regrets them, since they’re not true. He’s purposely lashing out at Elton where he knows it’ll hurt. He knows how sensitive the other is about these things, that deep down the other was afraid nobody really loved him. Which wasn’t true; despite everything that had happened John still loves Elton, but the love has been flattened down from weeks of fighting, Elton ignoring him and vice versa. He shows no sign of regret though, simply crossing his arms.

Elton feels the anger in his chest deflate into cold hurt as he hears the words leave John's mouth. His mothers words rose up in his mind but he quickly shoved her out of his thoughts trying to keep himself angry before heart break set in. He turns to look at John his jaw tight from anger though the hurt shown threw his eyes "Get out of my house John!" He shouts ignoring the other mans cold warning and hurling a glass paper weight into the book shelf next to the other man "Get the fuck out!"

John grits his teeth harder when Elton throws the weight; it shatters, the sound echoing throughout the room, and part of the bookshelf collapses, spilling books and a few records onto the floor. All restraint leaves him instantly and he storms up to Elton. “Don’t. Break. My fucking stuff!” He growls, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and almost raising him up off the floor. “If I come back here and you’ve messed with any of this, I won’t let you off so easy,” he threatens, harshly shoving Elton away before turning to briskly walk out of the room, heading to leave.

The breath is knocked from his chest as John pushes him against the wall fighting every instinct to fight back. But even as John is walking away Elton paces after him hardly ready to let that go "stuff you bought with the money you made from my records you twat!" He shouted slamming himself in the bedroom still seething from the fight

John doesn’t stop when he hears Elton yelling after him, storming out of the house. He calls a car to take him to his apartment in the city, and once he gets there he sits at his desk, still shaking with anger. His own words echo through his head and he tries to push away the guilt; feeling guilty won’t help anything. He knows he messed up but he’d never admit that, he’d defend himself to the death if it kept out the humiliation of apologizing. He pours himself a drink, downing it in seconds and refilling his glass. He continues like that until it’s hard to pour anymore, spilling his drink onto the carpet. He doesn’t care though.

Elton hears the door slam and kicks blindly in frustration. John's words still stung and he reached out for the only coping skill he had: substances. He stares at the bottle for a moment a few silent tears slipping down his cheeks. Elton truly didnt want to loose John but he wasnt sure how he could trust him again.

John sits at his desk with his head in his hands. He feels like he should do something; instead of just sitting at home when he knows Elton’s probably losing it miles away. The other mans known to overdose and attempt, and a brief flash of worry that maybe he’s already done it, and John would get a call saying a maid had found Elton dead in his office. He nervously chews on his bottom lip. He opens one of his drawers and pulls out a small metal tin, taking a small spoonful of the white powder and heavily snorting it. He lays his head on the cold wooden desk, his senses buzzing and his head spinning as he tries to forget his worries.

It had been a little less than a week since Elton and John had spoken although hed seen that secretary around more than enough. Each time was a painful reminder of what he had found that morning and he wondered why he hadnt been fired yet. He made his way down the stairs with his trunk, it was the first day of travel for his tour and the last person he expected to see sitting across from him in the car was John "No work you need to do?" He spat, his bitterness speaking for him before he could stop it.

“This is the work I need to do,” John responds dully, his tone implying he’d like to roll his eyes, though he keeps himself from actually doing it. “Besides, somebody has to make sure you don’t kill yourself before you even go onstage,” he adds, hating that their first exchange in almost a week is hateful and bitter.

"Ah," Elton responds his eyes cold as they settle on John "wed hate to have to refund tickets," He supplies pouring himself a drink from the tumbler that they kept in the car for trips such as these "Where are we starting off again?" Elton asks downing the drink hed just poured for himself looking out the window.

“You have your first show tonight in L.A, then another tomorrow night,” John answers emotionlessly. Once Elton’s poured himself a drink he takes the tumbler, pouring himself one and downing it as well. He pours another, sipping this one a bit slower, looking out the window to ignore Elton. He’s clearly shutting him out, not giving him any attention.

Elton doesnt respond he fishes the tin from his coat pocket and takes a bit on the end of his pinky inhaling and leaning back his nose beginning to drip "Fuck, lend me your handkerchief," he asks his head tipping back to try and stop the bleeding.

John nods and takes the handkerchief out of a pocket on his lapel, handing it to Elton. He notices how thin Elton’s blood is and it makes him grimace: of course his is exactly the same, but he hates knowing Elton’s just as far gone with drugs as he is. “Try holding your breath, it’ll help the blood stop quicker,” he suggests softly.

Elton holds the fabric to his nose huffing, the tip feels condescending but he tries it and it works. He wipes the excess away and glares at John the substance on his system making his heart pound "If you dont fire that secretary then I will and I'm sure I wont be as nice about it as you would be," He doesn't intend for it to sound threatening but he hears his voice distantly and knows it must have

John raises an eyebrow, glaring a bit. “He’s good at his job, he’s been making things a lot more organized and efficient. Things won’t run as smoothly with him gone. But if you want to let your personal problems get in the way of your career then I can’t stop you. I’ll call him later and tell him he’s been let off,” he tells him, not much emotion showing in his voice at all.

Hurt boiled up in him as John tried to defend the other man but he didnt let it show unsurprisingly the conversation veered back towards his career. "Well I suppose that depends on if he continues to be a personal problem," Elton replies his tone icy "and would you get off your damn high horse you cant possibly be pretending that keeping the man you're sleeping with on payroll is for my benefit,"

John’s expression quickly turns to annoyance, looking at Elton almost as if he’s tired. “It /is/ for your benefit, but I’m not going to sit here and argue with you about something you know nothing about,” he retorts. His tone is still superior, but it’s only a coverup for how lost he feels. There’s no going back from what he did, and he’s much too ashamed to apologize, so the only thing he knows to do is defend himself, and to do that he’s trying to distance himself from Elton. All of his responses are given without any real emotion behind them, like he’s giving pre-rehearsed lines to somebody who works for him. He almost seems distant, occasionally glancing out the window, doing his best to avoid eye contact.

The other mans stoney tone just fueled John's anger his uncaring attitude and Elton opened his mouth to respond instead he just filled his glass again and downed his drink leaning his head back against the car seat. The last few days had been hellish and Elton wanted nothing more than to just forget about the hurt that John had caused him. But every time he thought of the other man all he could picture what what he had found that morning and that's what made him speak again "You know I dont know the last time you cared about my benefit, so I suppose I should be thankful you're shagging this poofer, hm?"

That gets John’s attention, and he turns to glare at Elton. He hates how Elton’s always saying that John doesn’t work hard at his job, and that he doesn’t care about Elton’s well-being, because that’s the one thing he always tried hard to do; make things as smooth and seamless as possible to make Elton’s life easier. He narrows his eyes, his face turned up in a scowl. “I’ve always cared about your benefit. I can count on one hand how many times there’s been a major slip-up in concert schedules or distributing records. That’s because I’ve always put your convenience over everything, because I know what kind of person you are. Throwing tantrums like a child if your private jets temperature isn’t exactly 70 degrees,” he says almost mockingly.

Elton doesnt respond he knows John's right in some capacity but the difference is John is the one in the wrong this time and he hates that he wont admit it. He cant stand the anger that brews in his stomach and a silent frustrated tear slips down his cheek. Hes quick to wipe it away and he pours himself another glass sipping it slower this time.

John notices the tear, a sharp pang of guilt hitting him. He turns away, looking out the window and shutting Elton out again. His face is expressionless and uncaring, just to hide how upset he is. The silence is heavy and tense, and he wants more than anything to break it somehow, but he knows anything he’d say would only come across as cruel, so he stays quiet.

"Is he the only one?" Elton asks unable to help himself, he doesn't really want to know those words that he isnt enough for John makes him wonder if this is the first time or he hasnt made John happy for a long time. The thought hurts more than he cares to admit, and he takes another swig.

John nods, turning back to partially face him. He’d much rather not talk about it, but he knows Elton deserves to know the truth. “Like I said before that was the first time. I never meant for things to go that far,” he tells him, knowing it’s no excuse or even close to an apology. It’s the truth, though; it started out as harmless flirting, just a way for John to get his fights with Elton off his mind. They’d never even kissed until the morning it happened. They had been in John’s office, casually flirting, when the other man had made a sudden move and kissed him. John let things progress, even encouraging them onward, because he was so starved for affection from fighting with Elton for months. He didn’t have any real feelings for the secretary, everything the other man had done John found himself thinking how Elton could do it so much better. John wishes he’d never let the flirting continue in the first place.

Elton scoffs and shakes his head as John speaks because hearing it hurts but hes glad he's able to actually listen to the other man, part of that being the alchohol rushing through his system. Some strange part of him feels like he should be apologizing to John, for what he didnt know but hed do anything to keep the other man from doing something like that again but theres another part of him that isnt satisfied and he raised the glass to his lips. Its exhausting to have the part of him that need affection and the part of him that was anger was at war and his anger always won out.

John tries to read Elton’s expression but isn’t able to. Now that Elton’s not yelling at him it’s easier to convince himself to at least try to apologize. “I don’t... I mean...there were no feelings involved. I know that doesn’t make it any better.. and what I said last week, about not loving you.. that wasn’t true, I didn’t do what I did because you’re not enough,” he tries to reassure him. It’s the truth but he knows it’s probably unbelievable. His tone is gentle now, more emotional, like he’s taken down the walls that were keeping him so far away.

#main verse #cheating au #john cheats #part one

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