@steddieangstyaugust Day 31: "I'm not going to beg you to love me."
It's not the first time Eddie's been in love, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
He made the mistake of telling a boy once when he was younger, his nose is still a little crooked because of it. It doesn't stop him falling for the beautiful person that Steve Harrington has become.
He won't tell him though, wouldn't risk the friendship he cherishes so dearly over something so silly like the way his heart beats out of his chest when Steve just smiles at him. Steve is straight, he loves girls with soft cheeks and long lashes. Eddie is sharp and jagged compared to them, Steve could never want him.
It doesn't stop him dreaming though. He lets himself think how nice it would be if Steve shared his bed every night and not just when they've smoked too much weed. Tells himself it doesn't mean anything when Steve comes to every show, he's just being a good friend. Jokes around when Steve throws back the same amount of flirting, Steve is just affectionate.
He never expected Steve to kiss him.
For a moment he kissed back, too lost in the feeling to realise this wasn't a dream this was real and it would break his heart.
So he forces himself to push Steve away.
"Wait, Steve, stop."
There's a cute scrunch between Steve's eyebrows, "I'm sorry I should've asked first, did you not want me to kiss you, I just thought..."
Doesn't Steve understand, "No, Steve you don't want this, you can't want this, you're confused."
The confusion on Steve's face morphs into anger, "Confused? I'm not confused Eddie, I care about you, I like you, I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you!"
Eddie gets up from the couch, "No, you don't, you like girls, Steve, you love girls, you don't love me, this was a mistake."
Steve pinches his nose, a habit Eddie knows means Steve is trying not to cry, "I'm not going to beg you to love me." Steve moves towards the door grabbing his shoes and jacket. "You know I thought you were different, Robin let me believe you were different, that you weren't Nancy, that you weren't my parents. I thought you cared about me, that you loved me too. But I'm not going to stay and be told what my heart is or isn't feeling, Eddie."
Eddie thinks he can pinpoint the exact moment he realises how bad he fucked up, somewhere between different and loved he realises how mistake sounds just like bullshit.
It's too late though, Steve's car is already gone, and this is why he doesn't fall in love, no matter what he does he always fucks it up. He just hopes he can get Steve to forgive him before Robin breaks his nose again.
147 notes
·
View notes
fic rec friday 12
hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!
Physician, Love Thyself by Ryuuto
Will tries not to let on just how high his standards are for himself or how they're slowly crushing him under their weight. It's hard for him to open up about it when he's afraid that at any moment, it'll all come crashing down on him. Yet, perhaps it's time for this son of Apollo to bleed a small portion of that pain off.
will's whole thing of never believing himself ENOUGH.....like he works and works and never stops pushing the target farther away huh. i don't think he ever lets himself rest in the satisfaction of grasping something. it aches. and the ambiguousness of this ending....weeping fr
2. Sick Day by Ryuuto
Will is not a fan of the winter. Sadly, this year, the winter isn't a fan of Will Solace, either, and is especially spiteful by making Christmas Eve the worst day of this season. Stupid winter, ruining his plans for a romantic Christmas Eve stroll through New York City with Nico di Angelo.
crying and the quiet intimacy. the satisfying ordeal of being known....of being LOVED......of them loving each other with all the magnetic poles of each other. god. i will never not be insane for established relationship fics and will having seasonal depression is so desperately important to me like
3. once more unto the breach by orphan_account
He is Atlas, and he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, but he is also Will Solace, a fourteen-year-old boy with blood on his hands and ghosts in his hollowed-out heart.
weeping and crying because i am never not thinking of this. the weight of the healer. no rest for the wicked. and this line in particular actually knocked me fckn flat:
"
At fifteen years old, Will Solace falls apart with as much grace as he does everything else, and he very nearly gets away with doing it alone.
Until Nico, that is.
"
UNTIL NICO THAT IS!!!!! EXCUSE ME!!!!
4. Of Rotten Liars and the Taste of Truth by @theroyalsavage
Three times Will Solace lies to Nico di Angelo the summer after the war with Gaea, plus one time he tells the truth.
me and 5 (3, whatever) plus ones. you know the drill. "will is a dork and nico's an idiot" correct. will “if i lie i throw up” solace so real. and awkward but determined nico my beloved
5. Between the Shadow and the Soul by @theroyalsavage
Of snow, fumbling kisses, Valentine's mornings, and the imperfect science of falling in love.
SO soft they are SO SO SO soft i am going to LOSE MY MIND....the teasing the comfort the LOVE!!! THE LOVE!!!!
thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!
139 notes
·
View notes