#it took like. 5 tries tops to get all the notes idk why i delayed it for so long it's

[mwagneto]

sheet music is so special to me. someone hundreds of years ago made something beautiful and said i can't play this for you but i can tell you how. you can recreate my work and hear my art through your own. agh

[youcantfiremebecauseiquit]

idk if u care but crispin gray recently had an interview about his entire career and it kind of changed my perspective of queenadreena…idk if for better or for worse lol. it was weird to see him so dismissive of a lot of his catalogue w katie except for ‘love your money’ just because that was the only remotely chart successful song. i get you want to be able to sustain yourself but jeez him and katie really had a weird back and forth relationship

Sorry i'm replying late, i've seen the interview pop up on Youtube but honestly i was too invested in university shit recently & generally not in the good mood for that but i'm planning to watch. How did it change your view on Queen Adreena, did he say something mean specifically on QA or Katie? I mean i gotta watch it but honestly? Not surprised in the slightest. A few years ago he was asked to describe fave songs he recorded throughout the years and he listed more of Daisy Chainsaw ones than anything else, with Love Your Money as number 1. The differences in their points of view are real something, Katie Jane absolutely HATED Love Your Money, same as Daisy Chainsaw. Kinda apparent he wanted bigger fame but DC dropped fast and QA failed to live up to their predictions.

i had a time when i liked to dig up old Queen Adreena interviews that are lost in the old internet & generally not available for years (which i planned to post on is-she-suffering but my investment in that site is... varied in its intensity). Also that was back in the days when i wrote Queen Adreena book during manic phase and tried to sell it but lost motivation Well since i don't do anything with that knowledge anyway i'll put what i know here as i love fan discussions

So they sure had/have odd back and forth love-hate relationship & that's the reason why their career went how it went. There's been a huge tension between them at some point. I'm sure you know she had a major mental breakdown (probably schizophrenic episode) after Daisy Chainsaw, or even beginning before her leaving, and then she went into isolation and lived with an old woman in Lake District for awhile. She left Daisy Chainsaw cause Crispin didn't want her to come up with her own songs (all of DC was by Crispin except for Lovely ugly brutal world by KJ).

They almost split up as Queen Adreena after Drink Me. The material for The Butcher and The Butterfly was written at different times, originally it was meant to be called Atom Bomb at Bikini but it was constantly delaying and they eventually recorded everything they've got live. So that's obvious right? But i was surprised to find out they were writing songs separately. Some of them (i forgot which though) were written by Katie Jane and Pete Howard's sons band (they're even credited) + some with Melanie Garside, Richard Adams + some other musician. Katie Jane didn't like it. They intended it to be their last album at the time. She also hated live at ICA show but they released it cause they were broke

But that's a digression. I just wanna say that at this point they were done with each other but kept pushing it. Katie had her own art projects and stuff, Crispin started Dogbones with Nomi and i just remember how vaguely pissed at Katie he waas in the interviews. Like he stressed that Dogbones is his number one priority and if Katie wants to do something with Queenadreena, she must wait til Dogbones have a break first or something, and it sounded oddly bitter.

RaCH and Djinn era are just so weird, they had opportunities but let them go in a way. I don't think many people know but they were huge demand in Japan. They entered album charts and were interviewed by 11 magazines and 6 (!)TV stations there (wtf happened to that material i want to know???). But they only played 5 times or less.

Katie said she considers the band dead but they decided they can try to play for a couple more months. But aside from that she 100% lost the interest in the band around Djinn. There's an interview where she says "the overall image is Crispin but the shape will change again at rehearsals". And you can hear it, it’s more blues rock than anything. IMO it's their worst production wise. Instruments are fine but Katie's voice is so badly produced that sometimes i find some songs fucking irritating, cause they didn’t cut out her breaths and the vocals are TOO LOUD, to the point of distorting. As if she stands too close to the mic. The album is fine but it feels unfinished.

And here we come back to Crispin... here's what he said after the QA split:

Why the Dogbones started? “I needed to work more than the previous band I was in was working, the previous band who shall remain nameless, haha… um… Queenadreena. I wanted to work more than the singer of Queenadreena wanted to work… so that’s why it started. Fine by me… but I really like to be in a band, I’m not a solo project kind of guy. The last album (‘Djin’) did come out in the UK, but it was so low key because Katie kind of disappeared so there was little point in promoting it. Personally it’s my favourite by far so it was a shame but there you go… So here are Dogbones, it’s not been an easy ride but we are trying very hard.

Ok so the bitterness is kinda apparent isn't it. I think there were two reasons why they argued so much, first musical differences. Katie at some point lost interest in loud rock music for some years and went the folk way in Ruby Throat. I have a theory that Taxidermy and Drink Me are more influenced by Katie Jane and Butcher and Djinn are more Crispin. During first albums i think Katie more actively took part in music composition and choosing arrangements. She wrote lyrics, melodies but also composed a lot of songs on some little electronic keyboard thing and 4 track (Heavenly Surrender, Pray for me, My Silent Undoing, all Lalleshwari +more). Plus she wanted more peaceful/dreamy sound on Taxidermy than full on rock, Crispin complained about it in some 00's interview, that he'd like it to be more rock. Then there are 2 versions of Drink Me, the original has rough and alt versions of songs (it was sold by Katie and it's leaked on FB and probably YT). Crispin Gray apparently really hated the final Drink Me. Now next album is The Butcher & The Butterfly and it's more standard blues rock, no more crazy dreamy things of previous albums etc., Djinn is even more blues rock but darker. Djinn was his favourite at some point while KJ hated Butcher, not sure about Djinn. So i think they had different views on where they should go, Katie made her weird simplistic creepy tunes (like Lalleshwari) and folk melodies adding that strange things to noise rock. Crispin probably wanted blues & rock.

Other than that, i’m convinced they are bitter exes, lol. There’s been rumours about them dating during Daisy Chainsaw for years, plus Katie had a history of dating band members. Crispin wrote X-ing off the days about her. I don’t know if they dated again in Queen Adreena. Then there’s this interview, timeline is unclear, either The butcher & the butterfly or later:

„Katie writes all the songs herself and often looks for melodies and structure with the drummer. With Crispin - her husband or ex-husband, which is not entirely clear to me - for almost three years she has no longer been in a room. "Sometimes we send him a letter with a new song and that's all we can do. All we have are our lungs and our musical talent and we have to do with it. It is repugnant difficult life, I know most of the time how I should deal with it." But Queenadreena will still remain even exist? "I think so, we are now pretty busy and I see where the ship aground.”

I always wondered what exactly happened after Djinn, i’ve seen Katie Jane say „i think they gave up on me” while others said she disappeared. Other times CG said there’s no bad blood between them but at the same time there’s been some weird tension.  As of recent i thought they reconnected somehow through the internet and had a good relation but who really knows.s

I get why Crispin gets irritated when people compare everything he does to „stealing from KJ” but honestly, he gave them good reasons, at least in the 90’s. I can believe Starsha Lee singer isn’t copying Katie cause she’s from Brazil or something and she didn’t know Queen Adreena before. But everything else… Crispin’s problem is that he doesn’t know what he wants. He spent 90’s chasing something, tried singing himself, had girl singer replacements and even one KJ copy. Dogbones was ironically his most original non-Katie band, even with all their grunge influences. In a way he wants to be a frontman and at the same time doesn’t. Idk if he’s very controlling, but Daisy Chainsaw shows he valued his songs/lyrics first & in Queen Adreena he had to step back a lot, cause Katie’s condition was she would be in charge of the lyrics. I don’t think he realizes how strongly Daisy Chainsaw issues affected Katie, i mean from her own words you can read that aside from media attention/hate, her being unable to write lyrics had a role in her breakdown. I think she now let go but for years she hated remembering Daisy Chainsaw and she felt kind of worthless cause she was only somebody else’s mouthpiece. I’m not trying to say he’s cruel or anything, but i firmly believe rock lyrics writers should sing their own songs or else there are problems.

They both were writers-composers with different vision and i have impression they struggled a lot while shaping their songs, cause they both stuck to their ideas. Hence 2 versions of Princess Carwash maybe. Katie once said that he „gets terribly upset with her” cause she writes her songs on a simple wind organ and uses a few chord buttons only. Clash of writer ways/personalities/egos and at some point they had to let go.

Maybe he prefers music/bands where he was 100% in control including lyrics (note he wrote/sang some lyrics in Dogbones too). Daisy Chainsaw achieved bigger success US and UK wise as they were offered to play Top of The Pops, and they’re more well liked/remembered by „general alt public”. Queen Adreena however is way more valued as a cult band, with cult following and admiration in UK & France. Most people think Pretty Like Drugs and other QA songs are his best work and he probably finds it irritating cause truth is, he never managed to be more successful than Daisy Chainsaw/Queenadreena. Love Your Money is ironically the least Crispin Gray/DC/QA sounding song in my opinion. I kinda find it irritating that he downplays Queen Adreena cause it was probably his best work in this band but whatever

So yeah sorry for the word spill, that’s what i can think of it right now but as i said, i haven’t watched the interview yet, it’s just this kind of treatment is in a way consistent for him

[katorainwonderland]

Dance For You

Prompt: Hey babe! I adore your blog, and I feel like you can execute this request well :) can I have a black reader/Sam one-shot where it's sam's birthday so the reader dances for him to "dance for you" by Beyoncé and smut ensues? Thanks!! Rating: Mature/Explicit Pairing: Sam Winchester/Reader Word Count: 1,985 Warning: Slight daddy!kink, rough sex, Sam has a dirty mouth lol Author's Note: Hey, all, its been almost 5 years since I’ve posted any fics on here and tumblr has gone through so many changes but the people who still love fanfics are still here with me and I appreciate all the reblogs and likes and loves that I’ve gotten on my old fics. Idk if the person who requested this is still following me but hon, I am so sorry for taking so many years for this, life has been crazy, I’m now a 27 year old with back problems and all types of issues lol but I hope you can forgive the delay! I love you all and hope you enjoy this, sorry, no beta, enjoy the grammatical errors lol!

P.S.: If tumblr takes this down, i’ll post it somewhere else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Charlie, I feel ridiculous.” You grumbled, glancing at yourself in the mirror at the lingerie.

“But you look fucking sexy.” She reassured.

You grunted in disbelief as Charlie tried to fix the one side of your hair that wasn’t trying to cooperate.

“Its just… I’ve never done anything like this for him and what if I fuck it up?!”

“Look, I can guarantee that Sam will love his birthday present, he’s been away for weeks and I’m sure he’s missing you, and even if you do fuck up, Sam won’t care. You know how he is.”

Yeah, you did. Sam was the most caring, understanding person you had the honor of being with.

“You’re going to have to turn the heat up on that if you’re gonna get it straight enough.”

“Why couldn’t we just leave your hair the way it was? You know Sam loves your natural hair.” She asked turning the dial to ten.

“I wanted to do something different and you had to do it because you know I’m not good at using the flat irons. I mean, I could have braided it but that would have taken longer to do and we’re on a time limit.” You rambled nervously trying to distract yourself from the knots your stomach was twisting itself in.

“Hey, it’s okay, calm down and just take some deep breaths, you tried out all your moves on me first and honestly you were sexy. So, just listen to the beat of the song, feel it and don’t forget to breathe.” The red head finished up just as you got a text from Sam.

‘Just 20 minutes away.’

'Good, I’m waiting for you in the bedroom; )’

'I can’t wait to see you, mind if I shower first?’

'Not at all, take your time.’ 

'Oh, and tell Dean he may not want to stick around tonight.’

Charlie began packing up her things, and you walked her to her car in the garage, the heels you were wearing clicked as you walked, echoing off the walls of the bunker and oddly calming you.

“You look hot, ok, you’ll do fine. Plus you’ll have some mind blowing sex, I’m sure of it.” She said giving you a tight hug before getting in her car and driving off, leaving you standing there.

You took a deep breath before hurrying back to the bedroom, you slipped your robe on and set everything up, the music would be ready to play at the press of a button, the light was off and you had more than a few candles lighting the space, and you were all dressed and ready.

You heard Sam walk past the room a few minutes later heading straight for the showers and you sat patiently, albeit nervously, on the edge of the bed.

'Stop it!’ You thought as you stretched and loosened yourself up.

'Should have drank some alcohol.’

You got up from the bed and sat in the chair you had set in the room for the lap dance. Crossing one leg over the other you looked like the epitome of confidence and you decided that you could do this!

You gave yourself an internal pep talk and by the time you heard Sam’s feet pit pat down the hall you were ready.

He opened the door and his eyes quickly landed on you, your heart jumped in your chest but you kept your calm and smiled. You were happy to finally see him and you could tell from his own bright, beautiful smile that he felt the same for you. He was in nothing but some loose cotton sweat pants and you knew that he had nothing else on but that. Sam usually didn't feel the need for underwear unless it was necessary. 

He let his bag fall to the floor as you stood, he made his way over to you and took you into his arms. His lips were on yours in no time, your arms wrapped around his neck and damn it was tempting to just forget about the lap dance and just let him take you on the bed, but no, it was his birthday and he was getting his present.

“Wait.” You spoke breathlessly, pulling back from the kiss.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, those hazel eyes looking at you with worry as if he had done something wrong.

“Nothing,” You got out of his arms and directed him to the chair. “I have a surprise for you,”

“Didn’t think I forgot that it’s your birthday, did you?” You smirk as he sits down. “No touching, okay Sammy.” You give him a wink as you make your way over to start the music.

Just as the music begins you untie your robe, letting it fall off your body to reveal the lingerie and you notice Sam’s eyes go wide as he takes you in.

I just wanna show you how much I appreciate you

Wanna show you how much I'm dedicated to you

Wanna show you how much I will forever be true

You started slow, giving yourself innocent touches, starting along you thighs, then as the song went on your touches got bolder.

Your hands lifted the lace babydoll to reveal the skimpy lace panties underneath and you watched as Sam bit his lip. You took slow steps towards him, trying to be as graceful as you could while dancing. You stood in front of him circling your hips seductively, your hands sliding up and touching your breasts before ascending more and running through your hair playfully messing it up and making him smile, which, in turn made you smile.

Loving you is really all that's on my mind

And I can't help but to think about it day and night

I wanna make that body rock

Sit back and watch

You pushed him back into the chair as you straddled his legs.

Tonight I'm gonna dance for you, oh-oh

Tonight I'm gonna dance for you, oh-oh

Tonight I'm gonna put my body on your body

Boy I like it when you watch me, ah

Tonight it's going down

You began to grind down on him and you were surprised to feel that he was already hard but you knew you could get him harder and ready to burst.

You climbed off him and turned away from him, bending over to give him a good view of your ass and you heard him groan.

“Fuck, ______.” 

As the chorus ended you stood, turned back to him then slid to your knees in front of him. You reached your hand up and it landed on his tattoo before travelling down his toned midsection. You teased him as you stopped right before touching his length, which strained against the pants.

You giggled and stood once again turning away from him, you straddled his legs again but this time you ground your ass back onto him. 

You were surprised that he was doing so well with the no touching direction you gave him, so you took his arms and wrapped them around your waist as you leaned your back against his chest then arch against him.

You were about to get off him again but his arms refused to move, you laughed as he kissed your neck.

“Sam, I have to finish.” You whispered. 

“Shit, ______, I can't let you, you’re so fucking hot babe, I'm going to cream my pants like a 13 year old if you continue.”

“Well, what are you going to do about it?” You asked rubbing your ass against him again making him moan in your ear.

God, hearing him moan like that had your pussy throbbing for attention. 

He suddenly got up, picking you up with him and you squealed in surprise at the sudden movement.

“Sam, let me down!” You laughed

He did as you asked only to turn you to him and press his lips to yours. One of his hands went under your babydoll to cup your wet sex. You both moaned in unison, hearts pounding in excitement.

“On the bed.” You sighed out the command when your lips broke apart and the hazel eyed hunter did as you told him happily. Laying back on the bed, his large body taking up most of it, his eyes fixated on you.

You climbed over top of him connecting your lips again, the music had turned off and all you could hear was the smacking of your lips and heavy breathing. He couldn’t keep his hands off of you and somehow he ended up getting the babydoll off of you with ease, leaving you in your panties and heels. 

“Sam.” You moaned and the next thing you know you’re underneath him, his sweatpants had lowered on his hips and he pulled them down more to reveal his thick dick, your pussy throbbed with need as he slid the panties to the side and ran his fingers over your wetness to check and see if you were ready to take him.

You had been ready, ever since he walked in the room you were wet with the need for him.

“You already ready for me baby?” He said, voice thick with lust

“Yes, daddy, always.” You breathlessly answered

He gripped his length and lined it up with your opening, panties still slid to the side of your lips, and now that you thought about it you should have gotten crotch less ones. Next time.

He slowly slid himself into your heat and groaned as your pussy gripped at his cock. Your eyes closed at the feeling of him stretching your walls just right and there was no hesitation as he seated himself in you to start thrusting. The pace was fast and needy, you both had been waiting entirely too long for this and now was not the time to go slow.

His hands traveled all over you, lighting your body on fire, and all you could do was hold on to him, the bed, the pillows for dear life as he pounded into you. You could feel your end coming and just as you were about to come Sam grabbed you and flipped you over onto your stomach, barely exiting you but with that first thrust from this different angle you came with a scream, your body shaking from the force of your orgasm. You were inching off his dick but he wasn’t allowing that.

“No, where you going, stop running away from this dick.” He slapped your ass as he gave another thrust, making you moan deeply.

“Fuck, Sam.” He knew how much you loved how filthy his words got when you were having sex.

His hand grabbed your waist and pulled you back onto his dick, his other hand coming up to grab your hair, your body perfectly arched for the deepest penetration. Sam loved this position, he loved seeing your ass bounce on him and seeing him disappear into your moist heat.

“Shit, baby, I’m about to cum. Where do you want me to cum, huh, babygirl?”

“Inside me, Sam, damn, please cum in me.” You sounded so worn and ravaged and you couldn’t stop the second orgasm that racked through you.

With a few more thrust he was cuming inside you, his grunts so animalistic and raw. He emptied himself into you and before he laid next to you he kissed up your back to your neck and whispered in your ear.

“Thank you, babe, this was the best birthday present.”

“And it’s not over, I made you a cake.” You laughed as he laid down and pulled you to him, it was the that you had just realized you still had the heels on.

“Don’t take them off, I like them and were going again, maybe I can eat the cake off you.” He smirked 

“Yes, sir.” You sighed happily as you cuddled up to him.