#it was all according to fucking keikaku dude

[scolek]

also i ended up figuring out what rei means when he says mamas his successor. because before and during the war he had to leave a lot, go abroad and do whatever he did abroad before the war and put out fires at the affiliate schools after, but post war and into ! rei doesnt leave as much, but guess whos away a lot? its mama. he took over for putting out fires and whatnot.

[amoransia]

Really late, but here's my ekuoto chapter 70 commentary. Nothing special, just me freaking out. You know. The usual.

Watch out for spoilers!

Dante got a very special dialogue balloon with "..." in it. Which is curious to me. I'm sure it means some sort of reflection or surprise happening within him; I really want to what he's thinking. How do you feel? Knowing that the that child you were entrusted can't even bear to be awake anymore? That he runs to escapism? Must suck. Anyway.

On the other hand, dearest Daniel is real composed. Good job on getting info out of Belphegor. That's not really a high bar, though lmao... I mean, how are you a demon and can't LIE? Embarrassing... Go back to demon high school or something. Fall from grace again! The whole premise of your existence is being a lying thing that leads people to sin, and you're here having communication issues??? Dude. That's so moe.

Everyone thinking Belph's got something up his sleeve is fucking hilarious. No. Sorry. He's not Kira or anything like that. It's not all according to his "keikaku". He's just kinda dumb and suffers from Villain Monologue Syndrome...

Him saying "my witch", though... ough! (takes critical hit)

Really funny how he showed him off sleeping and everything. Why are you bragging? Is this something to show off? I guess it is for you... I'd be embarrassed if all my coworkers suddenly saw me sleeping on a plasma 100" inch TV, though. Maybe have a little consideration! Also, I don't think anyone's mentioned this before, but I think it's a cool detail that Priest's in a fetal position. Not only does this position bring one comfort, but it can also represent how he's about to be "reborn" as a witch of Sloth. The sphere he's sleeping in can kinda be a uterus, right?

Belphegor and Mikhail replying to each other while Leah was suffering out of confusion was funny. She got the straight man role forced onto her. Miha's "I see!" was cute. Very casual, as if he wasn't talking to a Demon Lord lol. To be fair, Bel is not really intimidating.

Meanwhile, Vir is busy trying to lead his shounen manga team to victory... (or not really.) They'll definitely get some piece of Belphegor though. I wonder what it'll be... he doesn't have anything like Asmodeus' eyes sticking out, so this is a mystery to me.

Me when I get excited about an interest of mine and end up yapping too much

Dante and Vergilius are heading to the same place, so they'll meet up again... I'm looking forward to the mess that comes out of that 👀.

Imuri needs to step up her game, or I'll be taking matters into my own hands because this is ridiculous. Femme Fatale? Wtf are you talking about. Fraudmuri. The Demon Lord of Fraud. Her true title.

Her biggest crime so far is being more in love with the idea of being in love with Priest than actually caring for him. Does that make sense? So far, she hasn't done any effort in actually coming to know him. She needs to KNOW!!!! At least I can respect that she also takes male rivals seriously... and her aggressiveness towards them. Lole.

She doesn't call Priest "sleepyhead" in the JP raws. I don't really mind the addition, but I thought it was worth noting here anyway. Makes it cute.

"It'll be over soon" Naw bro Imuri is coming at you with a fucking sledgehammer. Watch out.

Tiny Imuri is so fawking cute. I've been craving these Imuri flashbacks for forever because we know virtually nothing about her. What moves her. Why does she long to love!! We'll know in due time, I guess. But please show me a bit of it, Aruma-sensei...

Asmodeus being considerate enough to make sexual things vague to Imuri is nice, but it confuses me a bit. Well. I shan't dwell on it, lest my head blows up.

Imuri seems to have some complex about being a demon with no demon power, because she keeps asserting that she is a demon? Am I explaining this properly? Like in this chapter (ch.70) and chapter 3.

Anywho.

Imuri imagining the BL route... save me... my fucking sides... I burst out laughing the first time my eyes laid on that panel. True to her succubus nature, she didn't even consider the possibility of them using blood or whatever else instead of straight-up KISSING. Those are still bodily fluids, right?? Calm down, girl! Stay put!!!

"I'm not letting his first kiss go to some guy that just appeared!!" HE'S BEEN THERE FOR A DECADE! YOU ARE THE NEWCOMER!!! IMURI, GIRL!! You absolute buffoon! Clown, even!

Whew. Lmao.

This arc also feels like a callback to that one "sleeping beauty" comment from chapter 3.

...except their roles have switched.

This time, Imuri will be the one kissing Father on the cheek to wake him up, and it'll be so, so cute. Trust. Trust me. This will happen. (Going insane).

Go and make him your witch, Imuri... Dew it... Make a move... (screaming and crying)

[banmitbandit]

Shoutout to a few of my bloodswap Solluxes :) Infodumps about them in the Keep Reading if I formatted Tumblr Correctly. I just couldn't stop myself from writing a bunch about all of them Q~Q

I always wanna draw more of Sollux so more bloodswaps is obviously the way to go about it :)

Burgundy!Sollux - telosAutotelic

Sollux dies pre-SGRUB, and can't bring up the energy to care about anything anymore, let alone his whole red and blue schtick. Shortly after the game begins, he's "gifted" a new robot body by Equius in return for having done some extensive troubleshooting for him in the past. He's horrified to find his new metal husk has all the features wrong- the horns are wrong, the teeth are wrong, fuck, even the stupid red and blue are wrong, and he hates it so much - he had no idea he could even feel hate anymore - he only uses it when it's more efficient to be a robot than a ghost. He quite literally doesn't have the time to fuck around these days. Equius is miffed his psychological warfare to get Sollux pitch with him fails so spectacularly.

Mutant!Sollux - tacticsAllogeneics

Sollux tells everyone he has red blood, but no one believes him because that's totally not a thing. This is all according to keikaku (Keikaku means plan). Despite this, everyone seems to think he's a pretty cool dude, and so when SGRUB comes around, everyone kind of just looks to him to lead. His only experience with leading is strategy games and a few FLARP sessions. He's absolutely miserable. He ends up learning just how fucked up his friends are in the thinkpans, and it falls on him to have to try and haul their asses into being useful. It causes some ire with his friends who come to the conclusion he sees them as chess pieces rather than people, but really he just wants to get through this game without people kicking the metaphorical bucket. He's forced to play the healer in video games.

Purple!Sollux - tamedAnimus

Sollux is the descendant of one of the most notorious purplebloods of all time, who had the art of subjuggulating down to a science, and he wants nothing to do with his legacy or the church, only maintaining a few rituals out of routine habit. He's found a good couple of heretics who are pretty chill, and as loathe as he is to admit it, he wants to see them thrive. He makes a conscious effort to keep his violent highblooded tendencies in check for them, though his mood swings are both frequent and intense. One problem, a rather big one, is that he can quite literally feel the emotions of those around him, hyper-empathetic to the point where strong emotions from his peers during the game give him migraines. When things start kicking off and people start dying, Sollux acts on the fear, panic, and rage that's flooding him like adrenaline and attacks two of his friends, losing his eye in the process. When everything cools down, guilt eats him into hypervigilance, leaving him paranoid and self-destructive.

Violet!Sollux - trenchantAnglerfish

Sollux has spent his entire life deep underwater, where few seadwellers dare to live. The Continental Catfish keeps itself well fed but Nepeta has difficulty finding the thing most days, so Sollux's small army of fishbots keep an eye on it for her, tracking its movements. Because he's never gone above water, he's something of a NEET, and Nepeta is glad she can push him onto some of her friends when the game starts because he really needs to get out more. He's not the worst, all things considered; he's somewhat petty and spiteful when wronged, but this is mostly a result of his on-again, off-again relationship with Karkat, who happens to think he's a huge tool with an even bigger ego (and his best friend). The first thing he alchemizes is a pair of dark-tinted glasses for his extreme light sensitivity.

[xamaxenta]

woke up this morning thinking about MAS in playboy bunny suits . the context isnt important maybe theyre doing some kind of slutty pirate cafe but cant stop thinking about how insufferable MAS would be they would NOT be able to keep their hands off each other . marco trying to do his Job as a server but ace and sabo keep walking past to grab a handful of marcos dumptruck ass in that outfit eventualy he just gets fed up and decides two (three) can play at that game and casually bumps into ace like oh scuse me sparky i need to grab some new glasses for this table <bends over and grinds against aces dick> (these outfits are like latex or some shit and so tight these poor boys could not get a full boner if they wanted to but it does not stop them from trying) ace short circuits for a second looking down at marcos little waist and fat ass squishing against his hips while hes bent over and the only reason ace doesnt grab him around the waist and rut on him like that is because all the blood has left his brain

sabo meanwhile. oh sabo. marco and ace are nearly Spilling out of their tiny outfits but sabo fits his like a glove he looks like he walked off a playboy magazine with his lithe little waist and swaying hips and coy little smile. he is SO in his element schmoozing and flirting (and subtly interrogating because the dude litwrally never stops working) and he looks DAMN good doing it!! however he is still a littke shithead and likes causing chaos so he sits on the laps of these rich randos giggling and caressing their faces or letting them slide a hand up his back to feel around his waist, he loves teasing and fucking with these guys who will get absolutely none of this cake. it is instead all part of his master plan to get ace and marco cranky and jealous and horny about it so he can get his world absolutely rocked later tonight

marcoace are flirting and frotting and grinding on each other all night with varying degrees of subtlety but sabo plays hard to get and doesnt let them get near him until the shift is over and they MANHANDLE sabo onto the nearest surface and rip the bottom tiny scrap of the suit clean off (basically just a thong. how are they gettting away with it) and sabo is bent over the table, thrown against the wall, marco holds him up under the thighs so ace can plow him sandwiched between them, the man is fucked within an inch of his life, all according to keikaku . the outfits stay ON

Anon please i can only feel so much arousal in one go im only human help

I am withered… but so well fed…

Thank you what the fuck this came out of nowhere i appreciate it

[nonbayanary]

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known - MEME Masterpost

Hi HiruSena simps! Here’s a list of all the memes used in the HiruSena fic titled, “The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known.” The links below will lead you to the original memes, for further context.

ACT I.

i.

SENA:  Ah fuck, I can’t believe you’ve done this  (vine)

ii.

HIRUMA:  The absolute madman!

HIRUMA:  All according to keikaku

iii.

SENA:  By Talos, this can’t be happening

iv.

HIRUMA:  Not today, Satan.

KURITA:  He needs some milk!  (vine)

v.

HIRUMA: Ah shit, here we go again  (video)

HIRUMA:  [chuckles] I’m in danger  (video)

HIRUMA:  Now, we don’t have time to unpack all of that  (gif)

vi.

TEMPORARY PLAYER:  Press [F] to pay respects.

KURITA:  Stop. Get some help.  (video)

KURITA:  Face god and walk backwards into hell.  (tweet)

vii.

SENA:  Consuming five different forms of media at once to prevent a thought from occurring  (image)

SENA:  Copium

SENA:  Don’t try it, demon!  (image)

HIRUMA:  Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy  (vine)

SENA: There are two kinds of people

MIHAE:  God is dead and soon we will follow!  (image)

viii.

MAMORI:  None pizza left beef

MAMORI & HIRUMA:  Freeshavacadoo  (vine)

MAMORI:  Do you accept constructive criticism?

SENA:  Not without crying  (image)

SENA:  I do not currently possess the ability to can  (image)

SENA:  Galaxy brain!

KURITA:  Hoe don’t do it. Ohmygod.  (vine)

KURITA: You better watch out, you better watch out!  (vine)

ix.

CERBERUS:  Edgelord

MUSASHI:  Kung pow penis

x.

MAMORI:  Had it not been for the laws of this land, [she] would have slaughtered [Hiruma].

HIRUMA:  I protecc, I attacc, but most importantly, I watch my family’s bacc

HIRUMA:  Modern problems require modern solutions

HIRUMA:   In this world, it’s milk or be milked

SENA:  No thoughts, head empty

SENA:  Play dumb! Not THAT dumb!  (video)

xi.

SENA:  I’ve connected the two dots

HIRUMA:  You didn’t connect shit

SENA:  I’ve connected them

HIRUMA:  Naruto Run

HIRUMA:  Rickroll song

HIRUMA:  Due to personal reasons, I will be passing away.  

HIRUMA:  No thoughts, head empty

SENA:  Would you like to stay for dinner?

MIHAE:  Would you like to stay forever?  (video)

MIHAE:  [softly]  I’ll kill you.  (video)

HIRUMA:  Kill me and live with the memory. Then tell the stars that you won.

HIRUMA:  Well, well, well... If it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.

SHUUMA:  Pointing Spiderman meme

MIHAE:   Surprised Pikachu meme

MIHAE:  Let me see what you have

(Toddler) SENA:  A knife!

MIHAE:  NO!  (vine)

YOSHIKO:  You’re sick?

MIHAE:  Yeah. Do you think I could get some chicken noodle soup?

YOSHIKO:  Oh, just fucking shut up and die slowly, okay?

MIHAE:  Okay.  (vine)

SHUUMA:  Smack cam!

YOSHIKO:  Bitch I hope the fuck you do! You’ll be a dead son of a bitch, I’ll tell you that!  (vine)

(Toddler) HIRUMA:  Monkey in the car!

YOSHIKO:  Monkey in the car!

(Toddler) HIRUMA:  Fuck off!   (vine)

YOSHIKO:  I’ve only had [Ichii] for a day and a half. But if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room, and then myself.

YOSHIKO:  Mother trucker, dude. That hurt like a butt cheek on a stick.   (vine)

MIHAE:  Everyday, we stray further from god.

YUUYA:  I want to see my little boy!

YOSHIKO:  Here he comes!  (vine)

That scene where Hiruma jumps out of Sena’s window  (video)

Thug Life sunglasses

HIRUMA:  *T-poses*

Note: This masterpost updates with every chapter posted. Please tell me if any links are broken, or if I missed any memes from the fic! Thank you, and I hope y’all enjoyed the memes!

[thequietmanno1]

TheLreads, Vigilantes ch 112, Replies Part 1

1) “Last time in Vigilantes- Good lord, did we had a bombastic revelation and then Knuckles did his bullshit? I can’t even remember anymore, everything is blending together… “- Well, more like we had a revelation that Knuckles still planned to have a bombastic ending with Nomura, despite his survival and having a daughter waiting for him back at home, which is some bullshit.

2) “Oh yeah sure, it was that. 

Now, how did you got those bombs here Knuckles? How again did you knew that McBee would be here?”- It was half foresight, half thematic relevance, like Knuckles knew it should end at the site where it all began for him and Koichi, and the place where all the memories of their times together were.

3) “Oh? OH? He was the one that escaped the building? He? The one that has hyper-regeneration, super-speed, and can blow stuff just by touching it? He was the one that ran away huh? You sure about that Knuckles?”- Well, all those advantages would have made it easy for him to get out of the danger zone before the whole thing finished coming down, whereas Knuckles was just tough enough to endure the flaming rubble coming down on his head. No idea how he got out of the building undetected in the aftermath though, unless he fell down below it into the sewers. 4) “WAIT DID McBEE ACTUALLY GOT A SHOT IN?!

FOR REAL?

WE TRIPPING NOW, DID HE ACTUALLY MANAGED TO DO SOME HARM?! “- Some harm, yes…but not as much as an actual rifle bullet should have done. Wouldn’t have changed anything in the outcome, given how tough Knuckles is, but some actual blood and penetration would have been appreciated.  5) “OH PISS OFF DUDE

THAT WAS A RIFLE BULLET AT POINT BLANK, YOU’RE NOT WEARING A TANK ARMOR TO HOLD IT BACK”- At this point, I’m just imagining that Knuckles has three gaping bullet wounds through his sides and is still holding on besides that, even if slowly bleeding to dead because of them. 6) “Now to imagine what will be the next magic trick Furuhashi is gonna pull those following five seconds”- It’s “Summon Asshole”. 7) “Nothing to add AfO? Or is this is all according to keikaku as well? Well, it isn’t, you already said that, but is this still amusing enough?”- Violence is always amusing to him, especially when he’s not on the receiving end of it.

8) “…

are you

FUCKING

KIDDING ME

IS THAT FUCKING SOGA”- Well, it sure ain’t Koichi, otherwise we’d absolutely have violated that “never got to see him again” comment he made before.

9) “FOR FUCKS SAKE SOGA

YOU ARE AGAIN PISSING ME OFF

WAIT, IS THAT WHAT HE FOUND ON KOICHI’S BUILDING

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND, IS THIS KOICHI’S BUILDING?!

KNUCKLES YOU ASSHOLE YOU WERE GONNA BLOW UP THE CAVE OF VIGILANTISM?!”- Yep. Knuckles meant to burn the past to the ground to let Koichi move on….and that included the building where they’d made all those master-student memories together in. Make a clean sweep of it and let him move on with his life unburdened by the detritus of Knuckles’ past. 10) “Now McBee, if you can’t kill Knuckles can you at least take Soga out of the picture? I know you won’t, you’re fucking useless, but can you at least try?”- Well, he would have tried, if Koichi hadn’t interfered again. heck, I don’t even know if Soga’s machine gun has any bullets left in it by this point, it’s likely just a bluff.

11) “Well, I doubt that, i don’t think he gave you much thought, he was more worried about stopping knuckle’s bullshit with his own bullshit

AGAIN, IS THIS KOICHI’S BUILDING?! “- Yep. Very climatic for Knuckles to fist-fight Nomura on the same training grounds he taught Koichi how to handle a punch in, at least from Knuckles’ perspective. 12) “Now that I can agree on, Knuckles picked the worst person possible for this job, and we never even got much explanation about that, Soga just showed up dressed like a dipshit and we rolled with it.”- Soga’s only qualifications were “isn’t Koichi” and “is willing to help Knuckles”. Since Knuckles intended for Koichi to be the “clean” hero student he left behind as a legacy, and he didn’t have any other takers besides Soga, he just went with it, and so Soga fell into the role by default just from wanting to be of benefit to somebody else. @thelreads

[catboyebooks]

sorry about that, continuing.

so next we go into another debate segment, but uh... shit's fucked, here. we're glitching again. the life and influence meters fluctuate randomly throughout. the discussion everyone proceeds to have is much longer than normal, not really a debate (mostly just the survivors getting increasingly distressed as they struggle to decide what to do), we only have one truth bullet, and there's only two weak points. the first is naegi saying "hope" at the very start of the conversation and the second is junko saying "despair" near the very end of it. if you're really quick on your feet i guess you could try grabbing the word "hope" to use as a bullet and shoot junko's "despair" with it 1-6 style, but i didn't get to try this, because this conversation doesn't loop. instead, when we get to the point where we'd normally loop back around, hinata breaks down. he can't do it. he can't make this decision. sacrificing himself to save the world vs. sacrificing the world to save himself? it's just too much.

naegi tries to interject, but hinata yells at him to shut up and leave him alone. he questions why he has to be a part of this. he's not like the others, he doesn't even have a talent, why did he get dragged into this mess? the rest of his classmates broadly echo his sentiment; this decision is way too heavy for them to make. black splotches begin to obscure the screen as the sdr2 survivors talk about how they can't make this choice. kirigiri cuts in to tell them to pull it together, and the screen returns briefly to normal when she does so, but hinata tells her that it's impossible, at least for someone like him. he can't choose the future and he doesn't think all this should be his problem. (his tone is shifting here, becoming more brusque and assertive, but it's clear he doesn't actually feel any of that bravado. he also gets in some mildly unhinged laughter. dude's losing it.)

junko is like, ah... so your decision is to not make a decision. just as i expected. all according to keikaku. she seems very bored by this outcome and muses over the possibility of something unexpected (good or bad) happening, but dismisses that; this is a game, everything's predetermined, she had already predicted this outcome based on the data she has on the group. oh well, she says, no need to force yourself, it's fine if you just wanna give up on the whole hope vs. despair thing. i guess i could do that too, and we could all live here in VR together and be besties! we can just have fun together at the beach forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever...

[walleeli]

Today on Blue Nuzlocke:

Not one but TWO gym battles today. Kunigami soloed Milo and the gang. We make for route 5 and my first encounter is a fucking Applin 💀 named him Kurona to try and soften the blow and make him grow on me. Its not working. That thing sucks so bad. To the boxes with ye. Get to Hulbury and I am acutely aware that we are not fucking ready to face Nessa. So I’m scrambling trying to figure out where and how I can get more guys. Preferably with advantage over water types.

Now. Folks. This is the part where it gets embarrassing for me… yall I do not know pokemon type strengths and weaknesses. So my first move. Was to find an ice type. And I did. We now have a little baby Snorunt named Rin. And then I googled water type weaknesses. And then I debated blowing up. So at this point I’m like shit and also damb. Where do I find a pikachu. But I don’t look up where to find pikachu I just start walking around in a location I haven’t encountered anything yet. And I am flabberghasted by a Stunky. Ok. Whatever. Catch it. My son now. His name is Karasu. And he gets boxed cuz he cannot help me right now.

So its been hours and I’m still just as unprepared for Nessa as when I started but I’m such an “oh well” and “lets get it over with” girlie im like hey. If Kunigami (vulpix) can pull it off so can Aryu (budew). And then I stall for a minute to go fish in Hulbury because OBVIOUSLY im gonna need a water type on hand for the next gym. Which I will surely be reaching. We go. I get a chewtle. Ok cool. Looks like Tokimitsu. Rock on. Boxes for now. Nessa time.

Aryu is fucking schooling the water gym. I’m like thank fuck. And when he starts getting low I throw Gagamaru (meowth) in there and he finishes it up with his metal claws or whatever the fuck its called. I do their silly little puzzle and I’m ready to die I mean live. Nessa fight is going all according to keikaku until she pulls out Drednaw. Who has Aryu on the ropes from the word go. Like to the point where I cannot risk even switching him out because my other troops are wounded. (I took Kurona in as our third to try and give him leveling opportunity. Not a good move. He was useless.) But I’m not going to let her kill me after everything I’ve been through. So what ends up happening is the worst quality tv you’ve ever seen. Just 25 minutes of me spamming potion in response to her nonstop Headbutts and waiting for Aryu’s poisoning to drain Drednaws stupid life away. It was boring. It was excruciating. I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone. But we survived. Nessa made some comment about my character having the ‘will to take on the champion’ or something’ and I wish their was a way to convey to her that I was sat in bed debating killing myself from about her third exact same move. Guys I don’t think Nuzlocke is fun. Oh my god.

Anyways <3 Two down however many to go. We make for Galar mines no. 2. Bede kills Kunigami. Fucking unreal. But its chill because he has wildcard privileges. The king WILL return if I have anything to say about it. Um. Then some random trainer kills Tokimitsu. Im like well. Ok. And now I’m in the mines fishing because I still need a water type for OH THAT RIGHT. Ok so I went back to Motostoke to fish somewhere between somewhere cuz again. Need water type. And I get a fucking. Magikarp. So you know I had to name it Igurashi. Its lvl 8. Genuinely I don’t even think its worth dealing with it. Ugh.

So anyways back to the mine. I’m fishing. Guess what? Its a fucking chewtle again. At this point me and those fucking things have BEEF ive been trying to level my dudes and they have been non fucking STOP they are EVERYWHERE every patch of grass every fishing spot every dynamax hole in the ground ITS BEEN MADDENING. And technically the set of rules I’m playing on says I can get another go if I run into something I’ve already got but. I decided its funnier this way. And also Tokimitsu died so technically I DON’T got. So this bastard is coming home with me. Fine. Named him Kaiser. My enemy’s name for my enemy. Thats cute and fun. I hope he dies soon. Team Yell grunts beat the shit out of me and Hop. I almost lost Aryu and Gagamaru both. Kaiser pulled his weight but I’m not gonna give him flowers about it.

Exit the mines. Close my eyes and run into the first tall grass field. Encounter a scraggy (pokemon I love dearly) im like yayayy!! Finally a nice thing for the specialest girl in the world! Acquired it. Named it Bachira. When he dies the run dies I don’t care. My special little guy. And thats what you missed on Glee.

[lonepower]

..............................someone’s gonna have to stop me from writing that destiny/yw crossover that’s been brewing since house of wolves after this one, aren’t they

[shizukateal]

An Abridged Version of my Lore Olympus Speculation:

Zeus: *currently* Fuck, is Persephone a fertility goddess? I got Apollo off my dick for now, but I should convince him to let go of her so she doesn't have any children...

Persephone: *is confirmed as a fertility goddess and reveals that Apollo r*ped her*

Zeus: Ah shit, this dude is serious, I need to find a way to keep Persephone away from him forever without raising suspicions. I know! Persephone I order you to marry Hades!!!!!!!

Persephone & Hades: ...well that works for us, but what are you gonna do about Demeter when she finds out?

Zeus: I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

*Demeter goes emo in an apeshit way and everyone blames him for it and the rest of the myth happens*(*)

Zeus: Well, that was exhausting, but hey, since Hades can't have children with Persephone everything will go smooth sailing from now on! Hehe, 10 points for Zeus.

Persephone: *gets pregnant with Hades*

Zeus: *clown music and kill bill sirens at the same time*

Semele: *gets pregnant around the same time*

Hera: *starts getting suspicious*

Zeus: ohshitohshitohshit what do I do now???!!!!! Oh, I know!!!!!! Hey Hera! *points at Zagreus*(**) THAT is tooooootally the child I had with Semele!!!!! Also maybe I'll favor him as my official heir above our own children for whatever reason!!!!!!

Hera: WHAT?! *orders a hit on Zagreus and he dies for a while*

Zeus: hehehehehe, all according to Keikaku.(***)

Persephone: HERA WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS MY CHILD!!!!!!

Hera: What?!

Persephone: WE'RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE!!!!! 😭😭😭(****)

Hera: Persephone, wait, I can explai-!!! Ok, that's fucking IT. *finds Semele and tricks her into forcing Zeus to accidentally kill her and the unborn Dionysus (*****)* EAT SHIT MOTHERFUCKER IF I'M GONNA BE THE BAD GUY YOU DON'T GET YOUR HEIR EITHER WAY!!!!!!

Zeus: FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-OK, ok, ok I can salvage this. *rebuilds Dionysus* *goes to Persephone* Heeeyyyyy sweetie you know how Hera toooooootally betrayed you and killed your child??

Persephone: Yeah... my child... who is totally, absolutely still dead... not like we somehow found a way to revive him or anything...............

Zeus: WELL, turns out Hera is still crazy and now she's trying to kill MY child!!! So even though it breaks :'( my heart :'( how about I give him to you and Hades to raise him. I will :'( totally :'( be sad :'(, but hey at least you'll get to replace the child you lost, right?!

Persephone:.....sure.

Epilogue:

French Spongebob Guy: Many. Years. Láter:

Orpheus: *on his way to/out of the underworld* Btw, who are you again?

Zagreus: *who knows this is the kid of his mother's enemy* I'm totally Dionysus, my good dude.

Orpheus: Huh, I could've sworn I heard people calling you Zagreus, tho...

Zagreus: Yeah that's just... my, uh... epithet. Yup, Zagreus Dionysus, that is totally me and nobody else.

(*) Around this time or before Persephone eats the pomegranate.

(**)He may use Echo for this.

(***)Keikaku means plan.

(****) Alternatively Hera could find out about Zeus intentions and warn Persephone and Hades a bit too late, not quite managing to stop the hit, but retaining their friendship. Maybe they decide between the 3 of them than announcing Zagreus' rebirth is too risky for now.

(*****) Maybe Dionysus was just very recently born and Hera does the thing under the assumption that she is still pregnant.

[maripr]

So all this time

IT WAS OSCAR SHIELDING OZPIN FROM PAIN

OZPIN HAS BEEN BEGGING HIM TO LET HIM TAKE CONTROL ALL THIS TIME

AND THEY'RE FINALLY WORKING TOGETHER

OSCAR HAS BEGUN TO SEE OZPIN'S PRESENCE IN A POSITIVE LIGHT. LOOK AT HIS SMILE

I'M SOBBING

Fucking manifesting Cinder breaking free of Salem, along with Emerald (maybe they can kiss softly while at it) and I'm manifesting a Cinder/Oscar friendship all the more now. PLS

Also if i see another of you gremlins saying Cinder deserved abuse, I will... Pout.

Also Cinder is yet another parallel to Oscar and Penny, it seems! All three of them struggle with identity, the struggle between choice and destiny and all of them have a tragic mentor father figure whose death is or will be significant in their child becoming their own.

SPEAKING OF TRAGIC CINDER DAD, I'M NAMING HIM VALVERT BECAUSE HE'S THE LOVECHILD OF VALJEAN (kind dude who becomes a father figure to a lil kid abused by the owner of a hotel) AND JAVERT (because he puts his duty as a cop i mean huntsman before his feelings, resulting in his own demise).

Other opinions about the ep:

I SEE YALL NOW LOVING CINDER AND IM LIKE YES ALL ACCORDING TO KEIKAKU

LET THE CINDER STANNING BEGIN

- the SONG WAS FUCKING OP. I WANNA SEND ALL MY PRAISES TO CASEY HOLY SHIT

- i cannot stress enough HOW FUCKING STUPID HAZEL IS. WTF DUDE what kind of excuse is "going easy on a child" YOURE STILL TORTURING A CHILD, YOU BIG FUCKING IDIOT

- James, honey, i wanna lovingly stroke your terrified face and tell you everything will be ok but srsly at least 40% of this mess is your doing.

- Salem is freaking OP and scary as shit. It's all the more clear now that Ozpin forming young hunters is necessary. It's either that or giving in to her rule of fear.

ONE LAST THING

I STILL WANT THAT OSHUPIN HUG, RT.

PLEASE, GIVE IT TO ME.

EVENTUALLY.

[mysterylover123]

Mysterylover watches Bleach episodes 215-216 “Angtsy-Sexy Hero/Villain Vibes”

1. NEW OP!!! OMG FINALLY. IT FEELS LIKEI T’S BEEN FOREVER.

2. The main highlights of this one are lots of Orihime and Rukia dancing. I’m going to assume they will indeed be forming a Charlie’s Angels style team with Rangiku in this arc.

3. ULQUIORRA’S BACK!! OMG I MISSED YOU YOU ASSHOLE. MORE ANGSTY VILLAIN SHENANIGANS AHOY!

4. We open again with Aizen and Co squaring off against the old guys. I wonder how long before we learn that this was All According to Aizen’s Keikaku.

5. He just. Stares sexily at them for like forever. Damn I see why all his underlings follow him. Can’t deny dude’s got charisma.

6. Old Dude proceeds to envelop Aizen in a Ring of Fire. And of course he and Gin are fine. He looks even hotter surrounded by a wall of flames. (His power’s in his sexiness, you fools! You’ve only made him stronger!)

7. BACK WITH ULQUIORRA AND ORIHIME OMG. You gonna slap him again Hime?

7. “You’re gonna die you scared?” “Nah bitch I’m Orihime Fucking Inoue and my friends came to save me of course I’m not scared.

8. My RukiHime heart explodes when she gushes over “Kuchiki-san coming to save her”. Anyway the gist of it is she gives Ulqui the Shonen Power of Friendship speech and it’s awesome. 

9. Ichigo is apparently annoyed that Hime is stealing his main character status and rushing to try and reclaim it. 

10. As if to illustrate my point, he runs into a bunch of lame side villains and gets sidetracked immediately while Hime squares off with the 2nd Final Boss. Fortunately the rest of the crew show up to save him.

11. “WHAT IS FEELINGS” says Ulqui. And reaches out to touch Hime’s chest and eyes. Yep, definite hero/villain subtext vibes here. 

12. DAMMIT ICHI DON’T INTERRUPT THAT WAS A COOL CONVERSATION.

13. Ichigo opens 216 clearly intent on reclaiming his Main Character status by squareing off with Ulqui. They give each other the Shonen “worthy opponent” speeches and all, and immediately blow up the building. Because Shonen.

14. Back to the Ring of Fire, we squabble a bit with the squad captains before they talk plans. I’m just gonna assume whatever they do is All According to Aizen’s Keikaku and won’t work.

15. The long and short of the rest of the ep is that each of the Squad Captains is given a villain to fight. Guys it’s not that I hate you or anything but ICHIGO VS ULQUIORRA WE NEED TO CUT BACK TO THAT NOW. 

16. Anyway NEW ED and it’s RUKIA FOCUSED. It’s really pretty and includes supporting cast cameos, + some Tatsuhime crumbs. Been way too long since we saw them. 

17. For the record this post was originally longer but tumblr swallowed my first draft so I had to retype it from memory. 

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 88 Rundown

Code Geass: It’s finally Finale time, I already did a whole post about how Code Geass has a really good ending despite being kind of rough in a lot of places in R2 so I’ll try not to dwell on that. Suzaku and Kallen get a great grudge match and Kallen gets the fucking win which makes me happy. There’s a lot of stuff packed in here, Anya and Jeremiah duke it out and he un-wipes her memory to fix her up. Lelouch yoink’s the nuke trigger from Nunally, completing his arc of still loving her but doing this for reasons beyond her. She gives the whole ‘if you wanted me to be happy then just be my brother and don’t take over the world’ but really it’s probably a net positive that he dismantled the Imperialist Seat of Power in the world and inadvertently made the United Nations, like Lelouch both got to be Hitler and found the United Nations, not many characters even in fiction can claim that. So anyway Lelouch has his nuke satellite and can kill anyone anywhere he wants and is unquestioned master of the universe. But there’s one thing he didn’t count on: a single dude with a sword. No seriously I’m sure the Code Geass universe has all kinds of conspiracy theories about why “Zero” was able to just walk up to the dictator of the world and murder him with a melee weapon but of course this was the Zero Requiem, Lelouch pays for his well-intentioned crimes and dies with a smile, fulfilling Suzaku’s martyr complex in the process by forcing him to fake his death and be Zero forever, strongarming the cooperation of Britannia thanks to his geass on Schnizel and the United Nations basically gets to be ‘well fuck that guy’ and throws the nuke satellite into the sun and focuses on being good to overshadow the horrible shit he did, all according to keikaku*. It’s really a magnificent end and gives a sugary montage of all the characters that didn’t suffer tragic deaths going off and doing their own thing. Like this yadda yaddas over a lot of the finer details like all the people that should be counted as war criminals but most of them have the excuse of “Lelouch made me do it” so Lelouch’s plan works perfectly to absolve everyone else and make him the most hated douche on the planet and an easy allegory for evil that lets everyone else be forgiven and start working for a better future and I think that’s really nice.

Inuyasha: Okay we’re still deep in filler town here and honestly, usually I say Inuyasha filler is pretty good but this one’s kind of a dud. It’s another one of those “Shippo gets a new girl for his harem” episodes, this time revolving around a black cat that looks just like Kirara but can’t do the sabre cat transformation for some reason. There’s a lame rat demon that’s conspiring against the cat to eat children or some shit but he’s not strong or interesting because he’s Shippo’s villain and we can’t give his villains too much to do so it’s just kinda lame in the end, he doesn’t even get into any goofy antics like some of the other Shippo’s Harem episodes so if you’re watching along you can definitely skip this one.

Yu Yu Hakusho: We immediately jump into the third fight of the Dark Tournament against Jin’s team and Hiei and Not!Genkai get trapped by a sexy nurse covered in ramen and Kuwabara’s still barely breathing from his sacrifice against all the Ichigaki dudes so we’re down to Fox Boy and Prototype Josuke Higashikata against five dudes, and the other team decides to make it a boss rush. I REALLY like this setup, always have because it just reminds me of playing pokemon as a kid and just ramming all my pokemon into everything and letting each one do every inch of damage they can before they faint so they can soften up the big guys for the next teammate. This one always seemed kind of bullshit because it demanded that Kurama and Yusuke basically take out 2.5 guys each on their own and this team has some decently strong dudes so it feels like a situation they can’t (and probably shouldn’t) have been able to get out of. But Kurama fights the makeup guy and he gives his whole “humans took our shit man, makeup’s from demons for power” which idk why literally no other demon tries that when we have the fucking Rugby guy and the makeup seems to be a pretty good buff system but idk. Kurama manages to kill him with literally both hands tied behind his back but the guy literally pulls a Monty Python Black Knight and bleeds to death on him and it works because the blood seals his spiritual pressure and the other shit seals his arms and legs so he’s basically got nothing for the next guy who’s the obligatory ice dude that Hiei hates because Hiei hates ice dudes. So yeah Kurama’s got all five limbs tied behind his back and can’t energy worth of shit so he’s a sitting duck for the new dude.

Fate Zero: Eveyrone’s read the script apparently and is just like “well the war’s almost over” even though literally 4/7 servants are still alive and there’s no in-universe indication that it’s any more almost over than anything else except for all the flashbacks being done and the love interests dropping like flies. Waver gets a nice scene with his fake grandpa calling him out but loving him anyway and then gets another nice scene with Iskandar where he quits being his master but joins him in battle as an equal and a friend. (which honestly, war’s almost over anyway, might as well use up the Command Seals but idk if they actually did anything or are just schmaltz for the sake of it). Saber and Kiritsugu are weird awkward divorced parent talking to each other about not finding Iris and it’s just kind of weird that we’re this far in and the two main characters have barely said a word to each other. Gilgamesh and Kirei are at the obligatory bad guy perch talking about bad guy things while smugly looking down on the city, choosing to chronenburg the grail out in the middle of the city instead of the optimal location which was the one from the end of UBW. They decide to have Gilgamesh fight Iskandar and since Berserker has a hate boner for Saber they’re just gonna let him go after her since Kariya is just a pile of bugs and spite at this point and is in no condition to direct him.

Konosuba: Another finale for this week, technically last week was the “finale” but this is a nice OVA where Kazuma has a big titty fan that’s really just a ploy for him to show off and talk big before quest girl traps him into doing a big quest right after showing off. Darkness gets her boobs flicked by a Gundam which, yeah okay why not. And apparently Megumin is a big Gundam nerd somehow in the medieval world so Aqua builds her one because apparently if it’s not about being useful in combat Aqua just kinda has whatever talent she wants. Also they find the diary of the dude that built Destroyer and it turns out he’s even more of a scumbag than Kazuma and made a dominatrix robot waifu who Kazuma doesn’t seem to appreciate but I’d still bang her idk man. Anyway Kazuma learns the jig is up on his fan and the season ends with him being miserable and angry while the girls give him tepid reassurance, honestly probably one of the lesser abuses he’s faced so it’s probably fine. Also funny that Aqua basically describes the plot of the episode in one go and it all goes exactly as she says it will. I had a lot of conflicted thoughts on Konosuba, I like how subversive and cynical it is but I also kind of don’t? It’s weird, I know. Basically I like the jokes and sarcasm and shit but I wish they’d give the group a solid win a little more often and not feel the need to undercut most of the serious moments. Like despite the series making a lot of jokes about how close the group is and they’re just the kind of friends comfortable enough to pick on each other, every time they try to show genuine connections between them they immediately double back on it and go back to them hating each other’s guts and I feel like the balance is a little off and I’d like to see a little more of them being genuine friends played straight in between all the sarcasm and jokes at each others’ expense. But overall I had fun, basically if you know the character jokes already you’ve pretty much seen the series because there’s not much more than that but it can still be a fun ride.

Sailor Moon Crystal: So after Wiseman traps Chibi-Usa in spacetime or whatever, she becomes sexy Adult Dark Lady Chibi-Usa, Nega-Usa I guess. Gotta say I really love the design for Dark Lady, I’ve seen it all over on Sailor Moon posts but it’s neat to see her in action. Sailor Moon villains are kind of forgettable since most of them have exactly one ineffective power before Sailor Moon one-shots them with the Moonhamehameha but Dark Lady is pretty neat. Anyway Usagi’s still wandering around Castle Greyskull or whatever they call the Dark Moon place and she finds the big fuckoff reactor that is the nexus of dark energy and Demand’s brother’s like “Hey my brother thinks you’re hot and it’s really fucking up our evil plans so if it’s okay with you please RIP and also this big fuckoff reactor could blow us all up at any second” and Usagi’s just like ‘wtf do you want me to do about that’ and legit is like “Maybe it IS my fault for bringing eternal life and peace to the world” which the series continues to present as a good thing so idk where they’re getting that from but she’s like “Nah” and goes Super Sailor and kind of fuses with her Future Self in some sort of Yugioh situation and can transform and summon her captured friends. Before they can fucking murder everyone, Wiseman and Dark Lady show up and kill half the bad guys for them, really fucking sucks they offed Rubeus out of nowhere, like he was the main dude sending all the girlbosses to their death so I thought he’d get some kind of fight at least but guess not, he gets the Gomu Gomu No Demon Hands. Of course the fighting angers the big fuckoff reactor and Demand and his brother run away and the Sailor Gals return to the Hyperbolic Time Chamber where Sailor Pluto and the Tuxedo Maskeses are. Everyone’s back together now and everything’s cool except their daughter is evil and possibly the ruler of all spacetime, we’ll see.

Durararax2: After last week’s more cursory intro we get more into the meat of the season this time. We’ve still got everyone running around looking for Celty but we also get introductions for the new first years at Raira, including Aoba, and Izaya’s twin sisters Mairu and Kururi who literally picked their personalities out of a hat as kids to be quirky anime characters because that’s how shit works in Durarara!! It’s an interesting repetition of the Mikado/Masaomi/Anri trio from season one with extra quirky injected directly into it with Mikado acting as the (slightly) seasoned veteran for Aoba as the new wide-eyed yet jaded everyman protagonist. It’s really pretty neat, I was a bit intimidated since the OP/ED for this season cram a LOT of new characters in but they seem to be working them all in relatively organically and the nonlinear storytelling is a bit confusing but it’s more for fun little easter eggs of realizing why things happened than being essential to the timeline.

Durararax2: Bonus episode for missing last week: So last episode Shizuo beat the shit out of the Hollywood killer for trying to rob him and also the dude Shinra’s dad sent to capture said killer (that even Anri was afraid of for some reason) and this episode basically covers how both of them handle getting absolutely fucked up by a man in a bartender outfit. Hollywood is an Idol named Ruri (which I think is the idol the guy that drives Dota’s van got in to see thanks to the Italian guy in season 1 if so that’s a great callback) and honestly she heals like Wolverine so she’s fine and is just kinda happy because she likes monster movies and Shizuo’s the closest thing to a real live Godzilla so that’s understandable. Apparently she’s kinda like Garou from One Punch Man and was rooting for the monsters in all the monster movies because they had freedom so one thing leads to another and her family home burns down and she’s an idol/makeup artist by day and movie masked killer by night, as you do. Meanwhile the Orihara twins find Celty’s money she dropped and give it to Shinra to pay for the other dude Shizuo fucked up’s surgery which is super fucking ironic because Celty was really depressed about losing it but it was back in Shinra’s hands before she even told him about it. Ruri and Shizuo’s brother bond over being fucking weirdoes and the tabloids think they’re dating or some shit and they might be, those two are both harder to read than a book made of solid lead with no pages. But between meeting Shizuo and his brother, and Celty, Ruri realizes that being an abomination against nature doesn’t mean you can’t seek out your own happiness that doesn’t involve skinning people alive and I think that’s a lesson we can all get behind.

*keikaku means plan

[empty-dream]

Just watched and read Tower of God

Aka Tower of Scandal

There is a so-called The Tower that can grant anything to anyone who ever set foot on its top. Among people climbing it is a girl who wishes to see the stars and a boy who has nothing but her.

When I saw the original author's name in the anime, I was like "Hm, cool but does it stand for anything tho?" When I found out, it's "Oh. No wonder they use the shortened version."

Imma make a general opinion here. See the reblog for Webtoon Season 2 and 3 as well as the deeper stuffs. (Although it's just gibberish in it)

The Webtoon is still ongoing, right now already hitting 3 seasons with 450+ episodes (chapters). Good lord that's a lot of chapters, and each of them is pretty long. 

To put it in perspective, one chapter can fit 2 separate fights plus exposition, while usually 1 chapter of standard weekly manga has like 1 fight and side exposition. It took me a full week to read the webtoon and that already cut a lot of my sleep time.

One of the vivid experience reading the webtoon is the art improvement. Sure the earlier chapters are kinda amateurish, but overtime it gets better and even better. By the time it enters the later part of Season 2, every flashy fight scene is spectacular and the art style is solid A+.

The worldbuilding is amazing. The power system and lore of the world are explained really well and they are really interesting. The floors and sites that the cast visit have amazing visuals and stories. As for the tests, I can get by without actually reading the rules lmao. It's like a real adventure.

Lots and lots of characters. For Season 1 only, I love the dynamic between everyone in the batch, some friendly, some hostile, some mysterious. The ones that are really close are heartwarming. For Season 2 and 3, well let's say it gets rowdier and crazier.

Great character designs. Like, everyone looks different from various distinct races and with physical attributes. So many characters I'd like to draw. They also dress differently. Even their attires differ from arcs to arcs. Tower of Fashion, indeed.

I love the story about The Shoes in the King's Display Case. It really tells the problems with the Jahad princesses system and by extension the government of the tower. It’s one of the first signs that being in the tower, on a high position at that, doesn't sound all that glorious anymore if you're more on the humane side. The narration right now starts with Anaak Jahad, but later this is constantly explored from various perspectives with various motives.

Also btw this is one of the few media that realistically shows what will happen if you fight in a pair of high heels.

Look, I went here just for the girl-with-dream and boy-with-only-her story. I just thought hey that's an interesting storyline. Like it'd be cute, romantic, and maybe will be angsty after a while. Who knew the whole thing would be played like that.

This is like a shounen manga, except that there are more complicated political thriller, power abuse, and humanity issues in it. Many protagonist traits, among other things, that usually are viewed as good in other comics are now being questioned and deconstructed so thoroughly and mercilessly.

A lot of people say Bam's boring but let's be real, he's basically a baby. He literally lives in an underground cave alone until Rachel comes along. He does know nothing except her. Watching him getting to know the world in the tower and meeting new friends - essentially learning about the world outside that cave - is really fun to me.

Get yo self a boy like Khun, who will lie, cheat, beg and bribe to make you well. Not to mention kill and die for. Your name has to be The 25th Bam tho.

What is it with local smug light-haired boys being really close with the shy brunette boys???? The funny thing is, the chummy, attached-right-off-the-bat, no-personal-space atmosphere between them is pretty much anime original, compared to the webtoon. Now imagine when the anime reaches the webtoon Season 2 and 3, where even I went "Dude. Holy. Shit."

Rak best boy. Everyone and their mother loves Rak. 

Keep an eye on Shibisu. Yes, that joke character with a purple tracksuit. You won't regret it. 

*prostrate in front of Yuri Jahad* YOUR MAJESTY!!!!!! The shits that she pulls in the entire series *chef kiss till I die*

Tbh I am confused which ones are the correct spelling of the characters' names?

Convoluted multi-layered plot twists drama: *exists* Someone somewhere: All according to keikaku. 

I really went 5 episodes thinking that is just Khun's multicolor hair instead of his bandanna what the fuck. 

Mr. Lero Ro I admire you and your sensible ass.

No I won't say anything about Season 2 and on from the Webtoon here because the whole thing is a giant spoiler. But just a very important heads up: David Hockney is mine.

I knew Kpop boyband Stray Kids exists but this is the first time I listen to their works. The OP and ED songs fucking rock. They feel modern yet at the same time kinda ethereal. That high pitch <33

Also I like the OSTs in that I don't actually have a favorite track, but every track is suited well with the scenes. Apparently the guy, Kevin Penkin, is also the one who composed for Made in Abyss. No wonder I got the same vibe.

The anime adds lots of extra scenes but also redacts a lot of the webtoon scenes and exposition. As far as this writing, I personally don't think it's a major problem.

Tl;Dr: I was looking for a cute boy-girl story how did it become like this. 

[hasmashdoneanythingwrong]

Please! The Elder Scrolls lore!

Oh man bad wording on your part, we’re going to start from the beginning and I am going to have fun with this!

The literal blood sweat and tears of creation

So, like all good cosmologies, this one starts with a good old fashion “in the beginning, there was nothing”. And then, from this nothingness came two... let’s call them gods, that’s the closest term we have. Really, they’re more akin to the Greek Protogenoi In that they were closer to sapient forces of cosmic power than anything else. These two gods represented what many will call the great dichotomy: Anu, God of Stasis, and Padomay , God of Change. Another way to think of it is as order and chaos, but more in the sense of “things staying the same” and “things changing constantly”. These two just kind of sat around doing cosmic forces things...

When BAM! Another cosmic force (Likely representing the idea of creation) appeared. Her name was Nir, And she was so sexy that all two other people in creation at the time were like “Holy shit...!” And then Nir looked at Anu And was like “Holy Shit…!” So of course, the two of them immediately hit it off, got to work making worlds, and we’re really really happy together because they exist in the universe before “Being a shitty person to your spouse” was a concept. However, you know what was A concept? Murder and also maybe jealousy. Padomay Looked at the two of them being happy and was like “That should be me, those fuckers!” So he went up to Nir And was like hey you should ditch my stupid brother and go out with me instead we can make all sorts of cool shit. And Nir was like “What am I a cheater? Go away jerk”.

Padomay did not like this. So he went full Yandere and killed Nir and her 12 or so children/worlds.

Anu did not like this, because he helped make those and even in a timeless primordial void life was sacred.

So Anu was like “Stop! You violated the law! Pay the court a fine, or serve your sentence! Your stolen goods are now forfeit.” Padomay obviously said no and Anu was all like “Then pay with your blood!” And started fighting Padomay. However, unlike the average city guard that makes the exact same speech, Anu Was actually a powerful individual, and proceeded to rip Padomay So many new assholes that Padomay died. Then Anu was like “My wife... My Children... There’s only one thing left to do here...!”, took their shattered remains, and began piecing them together into something new. If this sounds weird and/or creepy to you, consider our own real world mythologies, and realize honestly, by creation myth standards, This is pretty tame and actually kind of nice.

But before Anu could really do anything...

Padomay: (DBZ teleport noise) Omae Wa Mou... Shindeiru.

Anu: Nani?!

(Both proceed to explode into massive puddles of blood and soul)

And from there, these massive pools of blood and soul (now named Sithis (Padomay’s Blood, The Primal “Is Not”) and Anui-El (Anu’s Blood, The Primal “Is”)) began to expand out infinitely. Where they touched created this weird sort of… Not order not chaos but also yes order and yes chaos area that we will simply call… The Aurbis.

Of course, truth is this is but one variation of How It’s Made Aurbis Edition. Some versions have snakes, some have Anu and Padomay simply eject their souls into Anui-El and Lorkhan/Sithis, who can say. All of them are technically true and false at the same time anyways. But more importantly, all of these variations are both canon, non-canon, and quasi-canon. Fun!

Hakuna Et’Ada

So in this bloody pit, The Aurbis was not the only thing to come out of this. From these three blood settings (Anu, Padomay, and Mixed) came the original spirits, which later peoples would call Et’Ada. Depending on who you ask, certain spirits originated from particular mixtures, But the reality is different spirits just sorta became different things regardless of which blood puddle they originated from. Some claim what would become the Daedra came only from Padomay’s blood, But if that were the case, then Jyggalag is hella weird since that would make him a Chaos God of Order. And Meridia was a Magna-Ge so... yeah. So for now, lets just assume every named Et’Ada that isn’t Lorkhan came from evenly intermingled blood.

Anyways, as all these spirits came to be they emerged to what is best described as a the metaphysical equivalent of a pyramid made of tesseract spirals colored RedOrangUrPinCyan but also YellOchErmilliFuchIte being formed into a pentagon. That is to say, hella interesting to watch. So the Et’Ada were kind of content to couch potato and watch the resulting three way of the 3rd, ith (as in the imaginary number), and -680th dimensions.

All but one. See, one Et’Ada was purely Padomayic/Sithic, and his name was Lorkhan. And being essentially the embodiment of Chaos and Change, Lorkhan was like “Man this isn’t exciting enough”. So he kept getting bored, until one “day” (day as a relative term since time didn’t exist yet) he got so bored he went to the edge of The Aurbis and saw it looked like a wheel with 8 spokes. He said “huh that’s weird” tilted his head to the side and immediately Understood(tm) because he beheld the letter and concept “I”. Except not really, because as an Et’Ada he could never Understand. But he understood he did not Understand, so he knew how other spirits could Understand. So he was like “I have an Idea” and left to tell/cajole/convince the other spirits to participate. Some didn’t like his idea, bust secretly they kind of did. So they fucked off and made their own worlds out of themselves while retaining all their power. The 13 most powerful became the Daedric Princes, and all together the spirits that did not participate in Lorkhan’s plan became known as the Daedra (An old word meaning “Not Our Ancestors, singular form Daedroth (not to be confused with the crocodile like Daedra)). Meanwhile, all the other spirits thought this totally sounded cool, especially the one who would become Kynareth/Kyne (note that many creation myths have her heavily associated with Lorkhan and/or his equivalent figures, like Shor). One of these Et’Ada, a mighty spirit of mostly Anui-El named Magnus, was of course chosen to be the Architect and planner, for he understood the concept of order and planning better than anyone save maybe Auri-El/Auriel/Akatosh, who was basically Anui-El’s equivalent to Lorkhan. And eventually, after many not-months and a whole lot of untime later, Magnus was like “It’s done, let’s put this bad boy together!”, and Lorkhan was like “It’s Just According To Keikaku”, and unfortunately he said this right as the spirits were in the middle of making Lorkhan’s Cool Thing and realized it was kiiiiind of killing them to do. Also unfortunately for Lorkhan, they all knew Keikaku means plan. So Magnus and his closest followers/diciples/apprentices were like “fuck this!” And tore holes into reality to escape to Aetherius, which is what surrounds the bubble of reality Lorkhan’s Cool Thing exists in. However, Lorkhan immediately said “It’s Just According to Keikaku” again because by doing that, Lorkhan’s Cool Thing was exposed to Magicka, and also that made the stars (with Magnus’s exit becoming The Sun).

Never let it be said Lorkhan didn’t know how plans worked.

After that the remaining gods decided to Convene upon Lorkan’s Cool Thing to decide on how to punish him for saying the old memes and also for nearly killing them. This meeting (called Convention) was held upon what would become Adamantine Tower, aka Ada-Mantia. Eventually, it was decided that Lorkhan was to be executed for being a massive tool who tricked the Et’Ada into sacrificing themselves for Lorkhan’s Cool Thing. They also decided to rename Lorkhan’s Cool Thing to Nirn as they realized that Lorkhan’s creation had sort of recreated Nir as she was before Padomay killed her (I forgot to mention his killing Nir kind of maimed the fuck out of her too) without really bringing her to life again. So eventually it was decided that Lorkhan was to be executed, but that didn’t work out as well since everything they tried to do to him just didn’t work. So Lorkhan once again said “It’s Just According To Keikaku” and Auri-El was like “Anu and Padomay dude what do you even mean by that?!”, to which Lorkhan explained:

“My Heart is the Heart of the World, for one was made to satisfy the other!” (By the way I’m 90% certain he actually said something like this.)

So hearing this, both Auri-El and a spirit named Trinimac proclaimed “If your heart is so satisfied by the world, then the world can have it!” (Not really, But it builds up to what they really did). Then, Trinimac tore Lorkhan in half and pulled the heart out before Lorkhan could be not torn in half, then gave it to Auri-El who fastened it upon an arrow and fired it from his bow.

You may know this bow, it takes a form mortals can use sometimes. Which bow? Think of Auri-El’s other names.

Anyways, as the heart was flying over what would become Tamriel, it’s blood flew all over the damn place. Most of the blood would become the metal Ebony, which is why it’s so powerful a metal as it’s essentially dried god’s blood. Other places, such as... oh, let’s throw out the middle of Cyrodiil for no reason, the blood would crystalize. Oh, and I lied because I threw out Cyrodiil for a reason and that reason is one crystalized blood lump would become the Chim-El-Adabal, and later the Amulet of Kings, a very important necklace.

Meanwhile, the other gods used Lorkhan’s halves to make the Moons, because what else would you do with dead god corpse parts?

Eventually, the Heart of Lorkhan would hit the ocean, where it would give rise to a massive volcano island people would later call Morrowind, and from this volcano Lorkhan’s heart would give one last “It’s Just According To Keikaku”, for this too was planned. For you see, by doing this Lorkhan subconsiously introduced the concept of a straight line to Auri-El, the spirit of time. And by doing that, it forced Time to go from one point to the other instead of doing what it wanted. The first two Towers were made, and Nirn was at last out of Beta and in Release Phase. Bugfixes and stability patches (more Towers) to follow later.

Realizing they could not live forever with their divinity drained into Nirn, the Et’Ada (now renamed Aedra, meaning “Our Ancestors”) began to have descendants, the Ehlnofey (Earthbones, aka Demi-Gods). These Ehlnofey were the creators of the laws of physics, so to speak, known as Truths. Some created gravity, others said “hey maybe all this magicka floating around should be usable” and invented magic, and so on and so forth. These became known as The Earthbones. That said, many Ehlnofey simply had children, what would become Mer (elves) and Men. Argonians, meanwhile, came about because a chunk of one of those old worlds Nir created landed on Nirn in the form of the Hist. And the Khajiit... uh... I have no clue actually, I’ll get back to you on that one. Something involving the moons I know that much.

Towers, the Tacks of Reality

So, I’m sure you’re wondering, since I’ve mentioned the concept at least twice now, “hasmashdoneanythingwrong.com, What are The Towers in the metaphysical sense?”, To which I say… This is actually a very interesting concept. It’s best explained with The Map Metaphor. Imagine, if you will, Mundus (the pocket of reality Nirn resides in within the Aurbis) as a corkboard. Now, lay a map of Tamriel/Nirn over the corkboard. And now, take several pins and/or tacks and place them in areas roughly akin to the following areas:

High Rock’s Adamantine Tower

Morrowind’s Red Mountain/Red Tower

Summerset Isle’s Crystal Tower/Crystal-Like-Law

Cyrodiil’s White-Gold Tower/Imperial Palace

Yokuda’s Orchalc Tower (just imagine it somewhere in the ocean. You may notice a problem here, we’ll get to that soon...ish.)

The Dwemer’s Numidium/Walk-Brass/Brass Tower (pin this one pretty much anywhere on the Daggerfall region, basically somewhere in High Rock or Hammerfell). This one’s weird because it’s techincally in the future but active now. For best bets represent it with a tack made of transparent plastic.

Valenwood’s Green-Sap

Skyrim’s Snow-Throat/Throat of the World

Keep a few other pins on hand in case Bethesda reveals a tower in either Akavir, Pyandonea, or (unlikely but possible) Thras.

So, now you imagine the map, right? These pins, The Towers, hold Mundus/Nirn together and keep them from sinking into Oblivion.

So of course here’s where it all goes to fuck. Do the following:

Remove Red Mountain, Crystal Tower, White-Gold Tower, and Orichalc Tower.

Pull Snow-Throat half way out (while not deactivated it is “damaged” somehow.)

Not a whole lot of pins left, eh? But, one good piece of news: there is one more force holding Nirn/Mundus out of Oblivion.

Do the following:

Put a metric fuckton of gold tacks around the edge of the map, and imagine them being set up to automatically pull the Tower Pins out if they all get pulled out.

What tower is that? None! It is instead Talos, who is secretly holding the world together. Horrifyingly, this means killing the dude in Whiterun that preaches about Talos is bad, as Talos needs worshippers to maintain his power. Which means the Thalmor will unmake reality if they completely remove Talos Worship.

Don’t worry, they know and are banking on that happening. Why do you think that one Thalmor in the College of Winterhold questline was so excited about “the power to unmake the world at [his] fingertips”?

Wait, no. Do worry.

And somewhere, Akatosh is complaining about his neck and his back.

Time is a funny thing on Nirn. Turns out, making Time be based on making a single god know what a straight line is is very... unstable. Unstable enough that it’s possible to Break it. Yes, capital B. A Dragon Break is what they’re called. When a Dragon Break occurs, Time goes back to what it once was and becomes... fucky. Children birth their fathers, mothers divorce men they never met until five years from a prior divorce they never had, and dogs and cats decide now’s a good time to be friends. Fun! So when this happens, the Jills come out to Shout at Time until it bitches down and stops being broken, like a hoard of shitty therapists. If you’re wondering what a Jill is, basically it’s a female Dragon. Well, female by mortal standards. See, dragons’ genders are based on whether they want to fix thing or break things, and I am completely serious on that. So far, the most famous two Dragom Breaks occured:

When the Maruhkati Selectives, a rabidly Anti-Elf cult sect of an already pretty Anti-Elf group known as the Alessian Order, attempted to purge Auri-El from Akatosh because Auri-El was the aspect elves worshiped. As you can imagine, that went horribly.

The endings of Daggerfall, where at parallel points in different timelines several factions attempted to use Numidium all at once. The end result was the Warp In The West, Mannimarco becoming a God of Necromancy, Orcs getting rights, and the Illac Bay not being a massive clusterfuck (mostly). Numidium tends to do that, being the Dwemer’s walking middle finger to reality.

More Fun Facts about stuff available upon request, But for now I need to stop or I’ll make this too long for anyone.

[gargalesthesia]

KIRIBAKU FIC REC MASTERLIST!

here are ALL of the kiribaku fics i’ve ever made a rec list for/recommended to a friend!

@whatsupitsalexx you asked for a masterlist, you get a masterlist!! i’ve updated some of these lists as well SO HERE ARE MORE!!!!!!

i’ve repeated many fics during recs so make sure you dont have any duplicates since i describe them differently each time!

AGAIN!!!!! PLEASE READ ALL THE TAGS FOR EACH AND EVERY FIC AS THERE MAY BE SOMETHING TRIGGERING

!updated! funny kiribaku fics with tiny hints of angst and A LOT of fluff:

uncompleted fic: my first one and only by blackbarbooks

this one??? THIS BITCH HAD ME CACKLING AT 3 AM IN THE MORNING,,,, its so funny (and a little bit smutty because y’know) and the characterization is just *chefs kiss* MWAH

completed fic: stay with me by gahooligangirl

LITTLE TO NONE ANGST,,,,,, BUT DUDE I L O V E D THIS FIC WAY TOO MUCH AND ITS JUST,,,, SO,,,,,, CUTE

another completed fic: our thing by livinglittlelie

A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL DURING SPARRING ACJWOIFHFIM POST CANON AND,,,,,, ADO R A B L E

punch my mouth with your mouth by questcat44

okay okay okay this one was honestly so cute because kiri is such a FOOL smh

angsty kiribaku fics that left me heartbroken and with my jaw slack

as promised by mikip23

UGH.

FUCK.

IM CRYING EVEN AS I READ THE DESCRIPTION OF THE FIC TO MAKE SURE I HAVE THE RIGHT ONE.

NVM ME CURRENTLY JUST

SOBBING

heart strings by heartofjems

I JUST READ THIS ONE TONIGHT

HOLY. FUCK.

WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT

IM CRYING

THIS, I-

ILL JUST LET YOU READ IT

remember me by bleukitsune

fuck you and this fucking fic jfc

im CRYING sir

THIS SHOULD NOT BE LEGAL.

PLEASE TAG YOUR FICS BEFORE YOU POST I WAS CAUGHT OFF GUARD

the fool’s rush by chonideno

POST CANON AND ANGST AND KIRIBAKU???????

FUCKING COUNT ME IN

UGH THis ABSOLUTELY WRECKED ME

ACKWDN

!updated! fluff/pick-me-up/feel good kiribaku fics!

my first one and only by blackbarbooks

this fic is such a nice and funny one i couldnt help but read it in one sitting! the pacing, the characterization, everything is just so good! i’ve recced this fic wayyyyy too many times but EVERYONE needs to see it! just a small warning there is a little smut as kiri and baku are testing the waters. dating is a new thing for them but they’re taking it like champs!! i got second hand embarrassment from it-

your hand to hold, your heart to keep by ladymarshmallow

this fic could possibly be my FAVOURITE kiribaku wedding fic, like i read it again a few weeks ago and it just begs to be reread over and over! it’s a quick read and very very very fluffy because they’re SO HAPPy together and im just soft

our thing by livinglittlelie

honestly,,,,,,,, this fic made me cry of happiness, i love kiribaku and their softness in this and it just *sniffles* i love it so much and the sparring????? AUGH im SOFT

obvious by amethystunarmed

OH MY GOD. THIS FUCKING FIC. IM SO,,,,,,,, I WAS UGLY LAUGHING I LOVED IT SO M U C H!!!!!! im just so WRECKED for kirishima and bakugou post canon!!!!! kiri gets kidnapped and NO ONE KNEW ABOUT KIRIBAKU BEING CANON UNTIL KIRI GETS KIDNAPPED and i just adowanfceksjkds

all according to keikaku........... by carolinaa

FUCKING LMAOOOOOOO I LOVE THIS FIC WITH MY HEART AND SOUL!!!!! TODODEKU AND KIRIBAKU JUST,,, MMMMMM

!updated! angst with happy ending kiribaku fics!

first up: kokoronashi by chiisanaai

THIS MADE MY CRY MY HEART OUT OKAY???? THIS HURT ME SO FREAKING MUCH

UGH THE SLOW BURN HIT ME HARD

I THINK THIS WAS ONE OF THE FIRST KIRIBAKU FICS IVE EVER READ AND BOY DO I NOT REGRET A THING

quote love unquote by newamsterdam

band! kirishima and actor! bakugou

O u c HHHH!!!!!

UGH IM WRRRECCKKKKEEDDD FOR THE LAST SCENE OF THIS FIC

ISTG

IM DYING

I KEEP GOING BACK TO READ IT

must have been the wind by quirkle

TW for this one, it has domestic abuse (abusive relationship,,,, cause dabi is a BITCH) and bakugou is not treated like the royalty he is D:

this one is amazing written

idk man its just so good

speak into the silence by rosedvst

i read this fic just tonight

i am still crying as i write this

i cant stop the tears

post canon kiribaku where no one knows about their relationship

as well as fucking near death angst

im still crying after this ugh

the bakusquad

is

i

ugh im wrecked

by dawn, promise me by chezka

so i have such a soft spot for hanahaki disease au’s

and i cry everytime

so have this little one shot that i cried over as well

roses are red and they taste like shit by unbreakable_red_riot

guess who has another hanahaki disease fic for you

this bitch

the slow burn is IMMACULATE

ngl

misunderstood by jupiterrose

okay this fic

starts out SO ANGSTY like i couldnt even

but then it becomes so fuckin/??????? cute????? like

yes please