#it was so nice of them to take a photo of my dog's barf for me

[hyenaswine]

got thru the last box of papers 💪 wowow strong guy. there were photos of my laparoscopic ovarian cyst removal in there. also pictures of my dog's teeth & some certificates of sterilization for a couple of feral cats i did TNR on. also a pic of the sourdough-scented mess my dog made at the vet's that time he ate all that unrisen yeast dough out of the trash & blew up like a little balloon. these are all things i saved, of course.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 1 "Pilot" & Ep 2 "Hell Week"(Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

Something really bad happened.

Did you just get your period all over yourself?

This isn't my blood.

Who told you you could have a baby here tonight?

I'm sure I can walk if I can just get some Gatorade.

I don't care if you can walk.

How are we supposed to get you to the front door without everyone seeing you all gross and postpartum?

No one wants to see that at a party.

This is super embarrassing.

I didn't even know I was pregnant.

You guys, they're playing "Waterfalls."

Is that a baby? Amazing.

I am not missing "Waterfalls" for this. "Waterfalls" is my jam.

Give the baby some mojito to quiet it down.

How do you know she's dead?

These are my minions. I don't know their names. I don't want to know their names.

I have a colonic at 10

Life is a class system.

Oh, still a lot of puke to scrub.

Yeah, you have an amazing skill at telling people what they need to hear.

I'm sorry. Did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt?

I hate sororities, and I hate you.

First of all, I'm not a lesbian.

You see, out in the real world, people just don't talk that way to other people. It's not normal.

Well, that sure sounds suspicious.

No one forced that goat to get as drunk as it got.

Historically, short people are sneaky backstabbers, like Napoleon or Paul Shaffer.

I could actually handle that you're built like a Thai ladyboy, but what I can't stand is that you think you're my heir apparent.

Don't you want me to spray-tan you?

I would honestly rather not have you around.

The police still can't figure out who filled that tank with hydrochloric acid.

It's good enough for me, and the D.A., who, last I heard, considers the case closed.

What is that skirt?

Your organization might want to find a lawyer.

I'm a pretty smart cookie.

I would not get personal with me, sweetheart.

I don't fight fair.

I am sentimental.

Look, girls are vicious, okay?

I don't have any of my own memories.

Just like we planned. Three-second silent hug, and then you leave.

Ooh, somebody call CSI, because there was a murder scene in that bathroom.

Someone puked in the sink and I'm pretty sure I saw an actual ringworm climbing up the wall. I'm not afraid of anything, but that bathroom scared the crap out of me.

This is gonna be a year of infinite possibilities.

Hold this. It's too heavy.

You didn't knock!

Look at them. They're the dregs of society.

Each one of these gashes is worse than the next.

She smells like hot dog water, and probably sprained her neck giving blumpkins down at the local bowling alley.

Look, I'm not saying that all heterosexual sex is rape. I'm saying all heterosexual sex is gross, and that deep down, every woman knows this.

All that girl's after is a whole lot of bikini burger.

Hey, girl, can I just ask you, what's up with your outfit?

God knows what they're talking about, basic bitches.

What fresh hell is this?

I need you to stay popular, 'cause if you want to stay at the top of the list of the pieces of ass I'm getting, there's criteria. And the criteria is you got to be popular.

Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, because I'm getting really pissed off.

Stop fake crying.

Anyone you dated would be popular. I mean, they would be popular because they're dating you.

My ego, it's super strong, ok, but it's not strong enough that I can just go around dating garbage people.

Like, yes, I could find a random girl who wasn't popular, and, yes, if I started dating her she would then become popular.

But you said you loved me.

I do sort of love you.

I would love you a lot more if other people loved you, too.

Okay, I need you to leave because you're bumming me out

We're just trying to have a nice day hitting golf balls at hippies.

Pretty girls, like you and me.

That's why I'm gonna burn your face off.

Ugh! You burned the milk!

Next time, I get you fired, or worse.

Actually, I just want a regular coffee. Those white girl pumpkin spice lattes annoy me.

I like to think of myself, uh, as an investigative reporter.

I had to get a restraining order.

I tend to get a bit passionate about things.

Look, you intentionally led me on.

You kept acting like you liked me just so you could humiliate me.

Enter, ye who dare.

I love a creepy collage.

It's about kicking the living crap out of someone when they disrespect you.

I was just in your room, where I noticed you have a sizeable shrine with evil burning candles, photos of me with my face scratched out and pairs of my stolen panties.

How about I just drown you in it?

Well, of course she's dead! You just burned her face off!

You don't die from getting your face burned off.

There's a dead woman in your kitchen.

I'm going to the authorities.

That's not how I saw it. And my witnesses agree.

You're an awful person.

Who wants cocktails?

How did my life turn into this?

Have you seen the way girls dress on this campus?

I'm sitting in the same office I used to throw bricks into.

You're awful in bed. Are you aware?

I'm gonna take a pair of your panties.

I'm gonna barf on your face unless you get out of here.

Try to figure out who gave you such disgusting mommy issues.

You loaded a dead body into a freezer.

What are you proposing?

I want to help you with your exposé, secretly feed you info.

You need eyes on the inside.

I don't know what to do with the body.

Are you saying dead bodies don't turn you on?

You are so lame, you know that?

God, I love all that death stuff.

Show me the body.

Show me the dead body.

This blood oath will ensure solidarity among us. We are all related now.

I just Googled "blood oath" and this is what came up.

What does this oath even mean?

I just need you all to not say anything about what happened, and I figured a blood oath was cheaper than buying you all presents.

Wait, what about STDs?

Idiot, you don't get STDs from blood oaths.

You get STDs from dirty toilet seats and drinking the water in Mexico.

Um, "STD" stands for "sexually transmitted disease," which means that it's transmitted sexually.

When were you in Mexico?

You know what, forget the blood oath.

I can't stay silent!

I'm calling my mom, and I'm going home.

Okay, Pissy Spacek, you and I have a few differences we need to iron out.

I want you to be one of my minions.

It's the gateway to the top of the heap.

You put on a good front, but you're miserable.

Don't you think any of that has anything to do with the fact that you've created an atmosphere based solely on negativity and raw ambition?

Can we talk for real for a second, please?

I mean, you're so confident without being mean. What antidepressants are you on?

Don't you see that all that's happened isn't a crisis? It's an opportunity.

Yeah, no, I tried. See, I really tried. But all of this flowery, peace-on-Earth crap, it makes me want to puke.

You haven't even seen half of what I'm capable of!

Totally spit in your coffee, bitch.

I don't mean to be a contrarian, but I'm enjoying this.

Is that killer noises or am I hallucinating?

I'm gonna ask one more time, will you speak up?

What can you tell us about the murder?

There's an exodus right now.

The risks are real, but we need to close ranks.

I don't feel comfortable with a man protecting me. It's representative of the patriarchal, post-colonial culture that encourages violence against women.

We buy a pig and feed it the body. Pigs will eat anything.

Don't go skating on those poop lagoons, because if you fall in, you'll drown in the poop and come springtime, there'll be nothing left of your body.

Here's what you should do. Pulverize her teeth, burn off her fingerprints, and disfigure her face. Once her body is unrecognizable, we can create an incision on her inner thigh and drain out all of her bodily fluids. That'll give us more time to deconstruct the body.

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot of work. You need a really good food processor, and you run the risk of fouling the plumbing, which is why you should only do it if you know how to clear out meat and bones from a drain pipe.

I'm willing to help in any way possible.

You're obviously a psychopath and those ideas are insane!

Why are you trying to terrify us?

Can I call you Mom?

I feel so loved and protected by all of you.

Actually, it's a new pop culture trend where young women desperately in need of role models call other girls they look up to Mom.

I thought you'd be cool with it.

I mean, I did just give you several ways to dispose of a body.

Okay, fine. Just stop talking.

You are so friggin' creepy!

Someone just mowed off a deaf girl's head in our backyard.

I mean, as you can see, I'm not licensed to carry a sidearm.

Wait, so you don't have a gun?

I have pepper spray. And I have a walkie talkie that I can use to call the police, who do have guns.

What good are you?

Get the hell out of there. Run away, real fast.

Now, I would give you my number, but my cell phone is off right now.

If you want the place clean, maybe you shouldn't have burned the maid's face off.

Don't you wonder what's in there?

People have been whispering about that house for years, that it's haunted, that something really bad happened. I mean, there's no way there isn't some real-life story behind it, right?

I'm gonna have to break in.

I mean, I don't think anyone's gonna get killed in the 30 minutes we make out, right?

Can you stop talking?

You're kind of ruining whatever was good about it.

Please try to understand the situation I'm in.

I don't give a rat's ass about your job.

You know, I find good parenting incredibly attractive.

You're a snoopy little bugger.

Whose bloody clothes are those?

Supposedly, it was a super fun party.

We're all gonna pay for this.

I think it's all crap. Just a myth.

What happened to the baby?

Sometimes I picture myself like Derek Jeter, you know?

I'm gonna choke you out.

There's a serial killer on the loose.

Please don't say you want to choke me.

I'd love having sex with your corpse.

I'm sorry. This isn't working for me.

Well, I sort of am your boyfriend, and I'm protecting you by having sex with you.

No! I don't need a man to protect me.

How could I have wasted this much time?

Is my self-esteem really that low?

I'm sorry. I think we need to take a break.

I need you to leave right now!

You know, it would really help me feel better if I could just crawl into bed with you for a few minutes.

Are you gonna touch my wiener, or you gonna leave my wiener alone?

I'll leave your wiener alone.

Where are your hands?

He has a huge boner!

Why don't you go in there and ogle his big old boner?

Okay, uh, first of all, I'm not gonna go ogle his big old boner, because I'm not gay.

Look, I'm sorry everybody wants to have sex with me. Okay? I can't help that.

I'm hot. Everybody wants to get with this. Women, men, animals in the zoo, plants, probably.

You're gonna have to go right now, 'cause I am breaking up with you.

Excuse me, I broke up with you!

I regretted what I said, and I just wanted to come here and tell you that I am so sorry.

Well, I accept your apology. And now I'm breaking up with you.

Do you know why I'm breaking up with you?

You can't deal with how hot I am.

Sorry, I just broke up with you.

Can you please put some clothes on?

Um, they said, uh, I shouldn't be alone, you know, in case I fall asleep and die.

Can I just get you a robe or something though?

So you're saying I'm the killer?

Okay, this isn't about me thinking you're boyfriend material.

God, I was so gonna go to third base with you tonight, too.

What if we stapled their earlobes?

Private like the parts on a man you like putting in your mouth?

I want to publicly come out as gay on my own.

I mean, you guys have to accept everybody, right?

I actually think that's illegal.

I will come after you, do you understand that? I will destroy you.

I trust you'll consider my offer.

Name one bad thing that ever happened at a Best Buy parking lot.

You're just, like, super attractive.

Um, well, I was trying to be inconspicuous.

It's better than losing your life.

I have a thing for playlists.

Someone's got a poo belly.

Sweet Yeezus, I don't even know where to begin with you.

Bitch, I'm about to smack you so hard, your tampon's gonna pop out.

I heard screaming.

So you think the serial killer is still up there?

Upstairs to get the killer before he gets away!

You just said that you think the killer is up there, and that's where you want to go?

This is freakin' terrifying!

The killer is in the house! You hear me?

I need my damn inhaler.

What, am I supposed to be scared?

Don't even come out. We plan on getting drunk, and I don't want your bad attitude ruining it.

We're headed down to White Stallion to pick up some sluts, baby!

Yes, okay, I burned her slightly, but stop saying that I killed her.

That was a tragic accident.

I am a kind and devoted and loving friend to all.

I'm not some crazed psychopath.

Maybe you're the killer.

I will not be put on trial.

The truth is we don't know who the killer is, and, yes, I suppose it could be someone in this room.

You want to go first?

I banged, like, 50 chicks.

What took you so long?

[lovemesomesurveys]

Don’t you hate it when people are all up in your personal space? Absolutely unless I want you to be there.  Are you OCD about anything? People throw that term around lightly when it’s really a very real, serious thing that can be debilitating for some people. 

What’s the song you’re currently listening to about? I’m not listening to music. What breed of dog are you the most similar to? Uhh. I have no idea. Is anyone madly in love with you? Hahahah. No. 

Are you over-protective of anyone? My loved ones.  Do you have a large ego? Absolutely not. Do you truly have someone to lean on? Yes. What do you think of the name Xiomara (zeo-marah)? It’s nice. Would you say cancer rates are on the rise? I don’t know??? Who did you receive your latest notification from? My aunt on Facebook. Does it annoy you when they talk to you? Noooo. She and I are super close. How about your last inbox message? A mutual and fellow Alex fan on my main Tumblr account. Do you have a good memory? I think so. Do you download or buy your music? I use Spotify. What do you think about English accents? I like them. How do you normally pose in photos? I tilt my head a certain way and give a little smile. Do you have a favorite sitcom? The Middle, The Golden Girls, and Roseanne.  How do you act when your drunk? I would get very chatty and probably extra annoying, ha. Has anyone ever used a pickup line on you before? Yes. I legit had a guy in high school come up and ask me what my sign was. Do you tan easily? Not anymore. As a kid I did. That’s probably because I often spent a lot of time outside with my cousins and neighbor friends. Are you looking forward to tomorrow? Just another day. Will you hug anyone tomorrow? Maybe. Could you name all 50 states off of the top of your head? Yep and in alphabetical order. How do you know the last person you were in a car with? She’s my mom. Do you support PETA? I used to, but I found out they’re sketchy. When was the last time you were scared? Hmm. Do fat people disgust you? Wowww. People who feel that way disgust me. What’s your favorite song by Rhianna? I like a few of her songs, but Take a Bow is one of my top faves of her’s.  Do you have a job anywhere? No. Do you have a pretty eye color? I don’t think it’s anything special. When was the last time you played a video game? A couple months ago. On what gaming console was that? Nintendo Switch. Look to your right, what do you see? My closet. What’s your favorite Mel Gibson movie? I don’t have one. Do you ever put ketchup on your cereal? Excuse me, WHAT. Ewwwww are you telling me there’s people that actually commit such an atrocious crime??? BARF. Can you speak binary? No. Do you go to school dances or do you not like that stuff? I went to a few in middle school and I went to prom and formal my senior year. What was the reason behind your last doctor appointment? I see two doctors once every month. Do you hate the person who last texted you? No! Do you ever wear plaid? Yeah. What’s your current mood? Tired. Was anyone famous born on your birthday? Maybe. The reason behind why you were last worrying? I’m always worrying about my health and life and just about everything. Where are your parents at the moment? In bed asleep. Has anyone told you that they loved you today? Not so far. How much do you weigh? * Around 75 lbs <<< Same. Are you procrastinating as we speak? Yeah, with a few things. Do people ever make you smile stupidly at the computer? No. Do you take painkillers? Yes.

[fvckyouimaprophet]

All Summer Long | Chapter Three

Summary:  AU where Draco Malfoy gets stuck in his Animagus form, and Harry Potter unsuspectingly takes him in. Set post-war. | Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two

Author’s Note: To elaborate on something I should have at the beginning, I visualize Draco as a Berger Blanc Suisse. In my mind, Sirius looks like a black German Shepherd. Part of what made Harry so drawn to Draco is that he looks almost identical to Sirius but white.

By the time Draco woke up, Harry was at work. As relaxing as he wanted his newfound freedom to be, it turned out that hours alone did little more than drive him stir-crazy. He knew if he could get out of the apartment, things would be better, but the rain outside did not relent. Regardless, Harry’s fenced in backyard could only provide a little amount of relief.

So Draco spent most of the morning hopping from the couch in the living room to Harry’s bed. At some point, he found himself halfway between sleep and consciousness when he heard the bang of the door.

Draco’s head shot out, and he leapt off of the bed toward the living room, only to find Harry, drenched from the rain. Back so soon?

“Hey there, boy,” Harry said, crouching down and stretching out his arms as if waiting for Draco to come toward him. I’m not Lassie, Potter. Harry seemed to quickly give up on the idea of Draco running towards him because he got up, kicked his shoes off, and made his way toward the kitchen.

“I figured that you and I could spend some quality lunch time together. I usually spend it with Hermione and Ron, but…” If his conversation with Hermione had been anything to go by, Draco knew that it had to have been a while since he had lunch with Ron. Harry cleared his throat. “Besides, you have to be hungry.”

Harry ran a hand through his hair as he rummaged through the fridge. “I don’t even know what to feed you?” He hummed as Draco stood behind him, trying to look past him to see what Harry had, but before he could, Harry had pulled a few things out and had shut the door. “You’re a dog. Dogs like bacon, right?” he asked as he tore open the package.

I’ll just be thankful it’s not Weetabix. Draco laid down on the other side of the kitchen, giving Harry enough room to move around as he cooked. Draco yawned as he laid down, and Harry caught it.

“Must be a tough life, just lounging about and getting fed,” Harry joked, an affectionate smile spreading across his face.

Yeah, not as relaxing as you’d think being trapped as a fucking dog. Draco huffed, and Harry raised an eyebrow.

“You know, I think Hermione was wrong about you, which – you don’t know Hermione, but it’s rare. She’s always right. It’s usually pretty great, but sometimes it’s awful because –“ Harry frowned as he turned to grab a spatula to push the bacon around the pan. “Never mind. The point is that I think you can understand me.” Harry set the spatula and turned around and crouched to make himself as close to Draco as possible. Draco lifted up his head.

“Okay, boy. Bark once if you can understand me.”

Under any other circumstances, Draco would have been having the time of his life. As Harry stared intently at him, Draco could almost hear the gears in his head working. If the circumstances were any less dire, Draco would have gladly messed with his head, but he couldn’t afford to risk any chance he got at resolving this. But the moment must have passed for Harry in Draco’s hesitation because he began to get up.

Fuck. Draco let out a belated bark, and Harry paused.

“Bark twice if you can understand me?” he tried, his voice sounding much less certain than it had just seconds earlier.

Draco barked twice.

Harry’s brown furrowed, and his stare deepened. After a moment, his relaxed and shook his hand. “Or maybe I’m crazy.” He shook his head and paused turning around to say, his voice light and mocking, “Bark if you know where Draco Malfoy is.”

Holy shit. Draco stood up barking and lunging at Harry.

“Ow! Merlin! What are you doing?” Harry stepped backwards and knocked into the handle of the pan. “Fuck.” He cradled his elbow and looked at the damage before snatching the spatula and pointing it at Draco. “Bad dog!”

I will murder you in your sleep, Potter. I swear –

Draco bit the leg of his pants and pulled again. You dim-witted goddamn idiot.

“Protego!” Draco slide back against the invisible barrier and growled. “What’s gotten into you?” Harry asked, cupping his burn on his elbow with his free hand. “Go!” He pointed away from the kitchen, toward the living room. Judging by the look in Harry’s eyes, Draco knew he wasn’t going to win this fight. His eyes stayed locked with Harry’s for a moment, and he bore his teeth before turning on his heel and moving to the living room.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Draco jumped on the couch and spread out, resting his head on his front paws. If you don’t figure this out soon, so help me God. Draco stared blankly ahead as Harry cooked. He could hear the sizzles and movement from the kitchen, and it was only a few minutes before Harry stepped out, a plate of bacon in one hand and a B.L.T. in the other. I’m going to dehydrate just looking at that.

“How are you doing?” Harry asked, keeping a safe distance. “Still angry?” Draco huffed and looked away from him. “This is what I mean when I say that I swear you can understand me.” Harry must have decided that it was safe because he began to step toward the couch. Draco lifted his head and barked loudly, snickering – or something similar to it – when Harry jumped.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” Harry scowled and set the plate down on the table before motioning to where Draco’s hind legs were kicked out behind him. “And what’s this?”

Draco threw a look over his shoulder at them but otherwise didn’t move.

“I’ve never met a dog so committed to being petty.” Harry pushed Draco to one side of the couch and sat down. Draco kicked his hind legs out again, whacking Harry’s thigh. “So help me God, when I find your old owner, I am going to have some strong words with them.” He took a bite out of his sandwich.

“Mmhph! I hab sometin’ to helb.” Harry jumped up – the sandwich still in his mouth – and moved over to his satchel. He dug for a moment before pulling out a camera.

I am not letting you plaster photos of me all over, Potter. Draco jumped down from the couch and ran towards the kitchen, but Harry pulled the sandwich out of his mouth and moved faster, blocking him.

“So you’re camera shy! There’s no need to be worried. I just need one good photo, and –”

Absolutely not! Draco dove between his legs.

“Hey, come back!” Harry set the camera down on the table before running after him. Draco made his way into the bedroom and tried to nudge the door shut with his muzzle, but before he could, Harry came in. “Got you!” Harry jumped down on top of him, his arms enveloping him, and before Draco took a moment to think, he licked his face.

“Ugh, gross!” Harry wiped his face, oblivious as Draco froze. “I guess you have some dog in you, after all.” He sniffed his hand and mimed barfing before looking over at Draco.

Draco could feel the tension across his whole body. What if I turn into a dog because I’m one for too long? Rationally, he knew it wasn’t true, but all he could think about was licking his face. When Harry’s hand ruffled the top of his head, it felt as if he was watching himself from outside as he turned to face him.

“Relax, buddy. It’s fine. I mean, your breath definitely stinks, but it’s really okay.” Harry bent forward and pressed a kiss to the top of Draco’s head.

With his eyes shut, all Draco could picture was Harry’s face last night – teary and crushed. As awkward as it was, having his hair – or fur, as it were – ruffled by none other than Harry Potter, it was a small price to pay for a roof over his head with – he hoped – the person who could help him undo this damn curse.

“Who knew this is what it took to get you to stop taking yourself so seriously.” Draco opened his eyes to see Harry staring at him. “Now, come and eat because I have to go in like five minutes.” With one last pet, Harry got up and made his way toward the living room.

Well, all right, then. Draco sighed and got up as well, shaking himself off before making his way into the room. No sooner had he stepped out of the hallway then was he met by a bright flash.

“Aha! I got a picture!” Harry beamed and took another bite of his sandwich.

Motherfucker.

“Now I just gotta put these up. Because if you were in Diagon Alley, that means whoever owns you can’t be a Muggle.” He bopped a stunned Draco on the nose before grabbing his satchel and stepping toward the door. “I’ll catch you later, bud.”

- - -

Unsurprisingly, no one came forward about the photos, and about three weeks later, Harry seemed as if he had given up. At times, Draco was almost positive that Harry didn’t want to find someone. They had developed a schedule of sorts, and Draco had to admit that it wasn’t half-bad – or rather, as half-bad as it could be considering the circumstances.

Harry came home every lunch break. Sometimes he cooked, but mostly he seemed to stop by the grocery store to grab sandwiches and sausage rolls. Draco thought that he watched the TV an awful lot, especially after work, but after watching a few episodes of what appeared to be a show called Game of Thrones, Draco could see the appeal.

Regardless, as much as Draco hated to admit it, it could be nice at times. Harry’s loneliness shone through at times when he would talk to Draco about something that had happened at work or in the store. No new moment had popped up for Draco to bark some sense into Harry to reveal who he was, but Draco had to admit that he felt oddly confident that he would work something out.

“I’m going to see Ginny this weekend,” Harry said, stabbing at his chicken tikka masala with his fork. Draco lifted his head up from his plate of it, waiting for Harry to continue. “Apparently Ron’s waiting to see how it goes to reach out. So Hermione said when we got coffee, but I’m hoping it’ll go okay.” Harry set his fork down and clasped his hands together in his lap. “Can I tell you something?”

I’m guessing you will anyway. Draco stretched out on the couch and adjusted himself for a long speech. He gave a half-hearted bark and prepared to tune out.

“I knew it was a bad idea when I kissed Rhys, and I know it sounds stupid, but I felt like if I didn’t do it, I would go crazy.”

Rhys? Draco lifted his head and started intently at Harry. You made out with a Rhys? That’s why Ginny left you?

“I know it’s probably the worst thing I’ve ever done, but I don’t regret it.” Harry picked at the skin around his nails and looked down in his lap as he spoke, but Draco felt as if the couch fell out beneath him. “If anyone would get it, she would, but I still couldn’t tell her. I don’t know. I’m like the worst bisexual ever, right? Like isn’t that what they all say – bisexuals cheat and are greedy and –” Harry’s jaw clenched, and Draco could tell he was focusing his energy on keeping a straight face.

Holy shit. Draco just tried to keep still. The moment felt fragile, as if he breathed too loudly or moved even an inch, Harry would stop. So Draco took shallow breaths and was careful not to move.

Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath in. “I loved her, but things felt different. She kept on wanting me to talk about everything that had happened in the war, and I just couldn’t. There’s was all of this distance between us, and we were fighting half the time, so I kept on thinking, ‘What if this is it? What if we spend the rest of our lives together, and I never know what it’s like to kiss or to fuck another guy? What if I’m actually gay, and I don’t know it? Or what if I just never stop thinking about it, and it ruins the relationship anyway?’ But then I slept with Rhys –”

Slept with?!

“—and I couldn’t not tell her. It was like as soon as it happened I realized that I should have talked to her anyway, dealt with all the shit that had happened. As soon as I did it, I realized what an absolute prat I was.” Harry put his face in his hands. “I don’t think we would have worked out anyway, but that’s not the way I wanted things to end, you know? She was the first person I loved, and she deserved better.”

For the first time, Harry opened his eyes and made eye contact with Draco.

Oh, Potter. Harry could barely hold back tears. He reached up, wiping his hand with his sleeve. “Who needs a therapist when you have a dog, am I right?” Harry sniffled and tried to smile, but it quickly faltered.

You and I have more in common than I think you realize. Based off of the conversation with Hermione, Draco had assumed that Harry and Ginny must have broken up over something along the lines of cheating, but he had never assumed that this was it.

Draco steadied himself as he stood up and shifted on the couch. If there had ever been a moment he wished he could speak – removing the obvious – this was it. Had anyone told him it even a few weeks ago, Draco knew he would have scoffed at the suggestion, but for the first time in a long time, perhaps even years, Draco felt something close to kinship. You shouldn’t have to get vulnerable to what you think is a dog because you can’t talk to your friends. As Draco placed his head in Harry’s lap, Draco could feel Harry tremble.

The movement must have removed the last of his ability to keep from crying because before Draco could look up, he felt a tear drop onto the top of his head.

“I’m so scared to see her. I don’t know how to say I’m sorry and have her believe it,” Harry said. “I know I fucked up, and maybe it isn’t fair, but I need her to forgive me. Hermione and Ron too. I mean, Ron and I have gone months without speaking before, but somehow it didn’t feel so much like just my fault then. But now…”

For perhaps the first time, Harry did not look like Harry Potter to him. He looked human and fragile. You can cry, Potter. It’s okay. Draco nudged his head against Harry’s clasped hands, and a small laugh bubbled out of Harry. “I’ve tried to get you to like me enough to let me properly pet you for the past month, and this is what it takes? You are one strange dog.” Harry began by petting the fur around his face before moving down to his chest and sides. Draco pushed away the instant desire to jump back and instead tried to relax and enjoy the sensation.

It had been so long since he had let anyone touch him. With someone from the Ministry watching him like a hawk at all times, it felt foolish to try to start anything. He had thrown himself into work instead. It had always been easier that way. There had been a kiss or two at the bar, a few men in back rooms, one in his apartment.

But this was different, new. Certainly, to call it romantic would have been a stretch. For all Potter knows, he’s petting a real dog. Nonetheless, it took all of Draco’s energy to just let himself relax and let the moment wash over him. All he wanted to do was talk. I know what it’s like not to want to tell anyone, to close yourself in. But he couldn’t, so he just let the comfort of his touch speak instead.

“I wish you could tell me your story. I feel like it’s kind of unfair how much of the talking I do.” Draco snorted. You do talk endlessly, Potter. “Like how did you get a scar like this? Was it a fight? Did another dog bite you?” Harry reached down and ran a hand over his chest, and Draco’s throat tightened.

The moment slowly crumbled as he stood up and jumped off of the couch. You gave it to me. He had noticed how prominent the scar was the first few times he had transfigured, but he had forgotten since then. Draco’s breath caught in his throat as he remembered being thrown back against the tiled floor, getting colder.

“Buddy?” Harry had been calling him that lately as if that were his name. But Draco couldn’t look back. What’s the point in getting comfortable? As soon as you find out who I am, it won’t matter. You’ll go back to your life, and I will have to deal with whatever they throw my way.

He could hear Harry stand up, but he made his way to the glass door to the backyard and pulled it open. Deep breaths. As soon as he crossed the threshold, Harry must have realized that there was no way to salvage the moment, and when Draco turned around, Harry had already left.

Draco waited out there long enough until the light in the living room and kitchen went off – long enough to be sure that Harry had gone to bed. He nudged the door to the outside closed as best as he could and walked over to the bedroom. The door was cracked, and even from outside, Draco could hear Harry snoring.

Draco pushed the door quietly open and walked in. Even in the darkness, he could faintly see Harry’s face. You can do this. Maybe they wouldn’t be friends after all was said and done, but if there was anything that was obvious, it was that Harry needed someone right now. And as complicated as it was, Draco tried to push it out of his mind, at least for tonight.

He jumped up on the bed and burrowed his head under Harry’s arm. Harry’s snores cut off, and he mumbled as he woke, if only for a moment. “Buddy?” Their eyes met for a moment before Draco broke their gaze and lay his head down on Harry’s chest. Harry’s arm tightened around him, and Draco listened as Harry’s breath slowed and eventually got deeper as he fell asleep.

- - -

Draco knew that there was no way to go back to sleeping on separate pieces of furniture after that, and sure enough, Harry called him over to the bed the following night. And Draco had to admit, there didn’t seem to be any point in fighting it. He had already slept next to Harry, and regardless, there was nothing to do about the fact that Harry had already seen him in dog form. You’ve won this round.

Besides, since discovering that Harry was queer, things had felt slightly different. He’d been young enough when he’d realized that his initial assessment of Harry as the boy who had everything might have been too generous or blind. But since he’d seen Harry cry – twice now – it had been impossible not to see someone else.

You’re really quite softer than who you pretend to be.

The rest of the week flew by quickly with no more heart-to-hearts, and Draco found that he was sleeping better than usual, something he figured had more to do with the fact that he was sleeping on the bed than it had to do with him sleeping with Harry’s arm draped over him. Nonetheless, when the weekend came and Harry left to go see Ginny, Draco felt oddly nervous.

He didn’t know what he expected, but a part of him, no matter how much he tried to push it down, couldn’t help but wonder if there was some outcome to this conversation that ended in Ginny coming back and him getting kicked out. After all, there wasn’t enough room in the apartment for him, Ginny, and Harry. And there wouldn’t be any reason for Harry to talk to him or hang out with him if Ginny were there.

Snap out of it. Harry owed him nothing. There was nothing tying Harry to him other than loneliness. It was why he had him in the first place. Luck had it that Harry ran into him like this. There was no reason that it couldn’t disappear just as easily.

The hours dragged on, and Draco made his way in and out of the kitchen to look at the clock built into the stovetop.  It was almost one in the morning by the time the keys slid into the lock. Draco ran into the living room from the kitchen.

Do I look too eager? He barely had time to make it to the couch and rest his head before the door opened. Why the fuck do I even care? Even as he wondered, he did his best to lift his head and try to look droopy, as if he’d just been woken up.

However, with the lights off, it was impossible to tell what the expression on his face was. Draco was sure Harry would flip the switch on and start talking immediately, but he moved slowly as if he was trying not to wake someone. He shut the door in slow motion and leaned against the back of it for half a minute before reaching for the switch. Take your sweet-ass time. Sure. Merlin, you’re frustrating.

As soon as the light turned on, Harry looked in Draco’s direction and yelped. “I thought you were asleep.” His hand went up to his hair, which was already a mess, and tugged at it. “But you’re not, are you, buddy?” He laughed and shook his head, and it took Draco a moment to smell it, but his dog nose couldn’t miss it.

That’s a lot of alcohol.

Harry shook his head as he tossed his keys at the table and missed by at least an arm’s length. “Fuckin’ hell, that actually went better than expected.” You could’ve fooled me.

Harry stumbled his way over to the couch and collapsed backwards on it. “She forgives me, I mean.” Harry let out a strangled laugh. “I don’t know why, but she does.” When Harry burps loudly and winces, covering his mouth, Draco knows that Harry has to be in for a rough night.

You, Harry Potter, are a train wreck. Draco felt half-bad for wishing the worst upon him. As far as Draco could tell, Harry seemed perfectly capable of keeping resolution far out of reach.

“She’s also dating someone.” Harry threw his head back into the couch with purposeful vigor as if to hit it. “I feel so fucking guilty for being jealous. I don’t have any reason to be jealous, do I? But I still am, even though her girlfriend may be the sweetest person I’ve ever met.”

Did she bring her girlfriend? Well, no wonder you’re such a mess. Draco sighed and got up, moving his head to Harry’s lap and licking Harry’s hand as he moved it closer to scratch behind his ears.

“I just can’t believe it’s Luna.” Draco lifted his head and perked his ears up. Lovegood? “I mean, I’m happy for them. I truly am, but I’m just so fucking sad and alone.” Harry slumped over and groaned. “My head hurts. I can’t do this.”

Up and at ‘em. We need to get you in the shower. Draco pulled Harry up by his sleeves as Harry groaned.

“Why can’t you leave me be?” Harry whined, but he still followed Draco’s lead. He stumbled his way to the bathroom, and it was only once he was there that he seemed confused by what Draco was even doing. But when Draco jumped into the tub and tugged the metal handle until the faucet started running, Harry got the gist.

“I don’t know who owned you, but it’s really fucking strange that you’re basically taking care of me while I’m drunk. Like it’s almost like you’re not a dog.” Draco sighed. If you weren’t pissed out of your mind, I would murder you right now.

But Harry could barely stand, and Draco was certain that he had already forgotten what he had said. Harry leaned over to move the water from the faucet to the showerhead and nearly slipped. Draco bit onto his shirt and tugged, steadying him.

“Buddy, what would I do without you?” Have the world’s worst hangover. He smiled at Draco and began taking off his shirt. After a moment of being tangled in its fabric, he managed to get it off.

This seems like my cue to leave. But as if reading his mind, Harry leaned over and pushed the door shut. The round handle on the door was not one that Draco could open, and he glanced anxiously around the small space, trying to bury himself in a corner and give Harry some privacy.

It wasn’t the first time he’d seen Harry naked. It had happened a few times now, when Harry had changed in the bedroom while he was in it. But it always seemed easier to roll over on the bed or just close his eyes there. Here, Harry was mere steps away from him. When he heard Harry stumble, he jerked his head up from the wall towards him and barely had time to prepare as Harry caught himself, half against the wall and half on Draco’s back.

Who knew you could be such a disaster? He wondered whether it was better that he was here because he doubted it would be the last time Harry slipped and almost fell. Draco nudged Harry’s legs toward the bath, and he waited until he heard the shower curtain close behind him before turning around. It felt wrong to watch Harry’s silhouette, but he did anyway for a moment as Harry ran his hands over his face and through his hair. Eventually, he settled to look away again, letting there be as much privacy as there possibly could in such a small space.

You’re going to have so many regrets when you find out.

Harry ran the water for a good twenty minutes before he stepped out and wrapped a towel around himself. He looked more like himself when Draco looked up at him, and even though the smell of alcohol lingered even after he brushed his teeth, he looked like he could be sober soon.

Draco barked for Harry to open the door and made his way to the bedroom as Harry finished getting ready. By the time Harry joined him on the bed, Draco was struggling to stay awake.

“Can I tell you something kind of bad?” Harry asked as he wrapped both arms around Draco and buried his face against his fur. Draco swallowed thickly at the sudden burst of affection. “I hope we never find your owner.”

Draco closed his eyes as he tried to understand why his heart felt like it couldn’t stop fluttering.

- - -

Draco knew something had to be wrong when the clock moved past 19 o'clock on Wednesday, and Harry hadn't come home yet. Even when he had extra work, he frequently tried to finish it at home.  Nonetheless, Draco didn't start worrying until he saw the neon numbers read: 22:47.

Where the fuck are you? He didn't understand why he was even assuming the worst. If nothing else, Harry had proved himself fully capable of taking care of himself over the years. But whatever the case was, Draco knew it could be cause for concern. 

Deep breaths. He's going to be fine. He's an Auror! Of course he's working weird hours. Honestly, it's weird he hasn't worked these hours before.

Still, he watched as the clock changed from 23:59 to 0:00 and felt a cold dread settle in. Come on.

As it turned out, the door remained quiet and untouched until 2:23. By that point, he was certain every possible ill thought had made its way through his mind. If something happened, no one would bother to tell a dog. I'd never see him again and never get a chance to say goodbye. Even if he was in the hospital, Draco knew no one had any reason to check in on him. A dumb dog would be the last thing on anyone's minds. No one's going to come check in on me, and then I'll starve. Or if they do come check in on me, they'll probably put me out on the street. No one would want me, and I'd be stuck a dog. Fuck.

So when the keys made their way into the lock, Draco's head swerved up. The door creaked a few inches before slamming open the rest of the way. Draco jumped off the couch, but no sooner had he made a few steps then was he hit by a wave of alcohol significantly more intense than that of Saturday.

"Shh, my dog is probably sleeping," Harry shout-whispered.

"I think your dog will be fine." The low voice was not one he recognized. Draco started moving slowly toward the door, but before he could, Harry and the mystery man came into sight.

"He's a weird dog. Very particularly," Harry said, and Draco felt a small knot form in his stomach.

Fuck you too, Potter.

Draco watched as they stumbled in, their hands reaching for each other's hair, face, arm, whatever they could touch. A hot wave of shame and something else hit him as Harry pressed his face against this man’s face with nothing short of desperation.

Draco barked.

"That dog, you mean?" the guy asked, pointing at Draco.

"Shh, down boy," Harry said, not even bothering to look in Draco's direction.

The knot in Draco's stomach felt like it could not stop growing. Had it been a possibility, he was sure his face would have been flushed. He clenched his jaw and looked this stranger up and down before barking again. Who do you think you are?

But they both ignored him. The guy seemed cute and perhaps a year or two older than them, but something about him made Draco tense all over. The only reason he's interested in you is because he's miserable and lonely and drunk as he, but you wouldn't understand. Bet you'll turn to Rita Skeeter with the hot gossip first chance you get.

Draco barked again, louder than before and ran forward, knocking into the man. Both he and Harry stumbled, but while the man laughed, Harry swerved to look at Draco for the first time. "Why are you so crazy? Why can't you be a normal dog for once in your life and go away?"

The words stung more than Draco expected to, and he reeled back, looking between them. Harry took the opportunity to grab the guy’s arm and move them towards the bedroom. Harry watched as they disappeared and flinched as the door slammed.

Fuck you and your stupid messes. I’m done cleaning up after you, Potter. Draco’s heart would not stop pounding, and he paced the floor, trying to calm himself down, but nothing seemed to be working. I should have known it was only a matter of time before you stopped caring.

All Draco could think about was the panic he had felt in thinking something was wrong. Instead, Harry was off having a life, as he was allowed to do, and Draco had never felt so stupid. And no matter how he tried to settle himself on the couch, he could not get comfortable. I can’t wait until I get out of here.

His mind would not stop turning. By the time the sun rose and the door to Harry’s room opened, he had barely fallen into the lightest sleep. He woke to the man’s voice as he made his way across the apartment, Harry behind him.

“Man, I wish we didn’t have to run off to work.”

“Who are you telling?” Harry asked, laughing. “Feel free to shoot me a text if you’re free this weekend.”

Text? Draco wondered what that was code for.

He looked them up and down. Even though the man was dressed up and ready to leave, Harry was wearing nothing more than an untied bathrobe that Draco was relatively sure he had only seen in Harry’s closet. They paused in front of the door, and the man reached out, tugging Harry forward. Draco looked away.

Soon, he told himself. Soon, as soon as he figured out how to get Harry to see, he’d be able to go home to the privacy of his own flat and never deal with this again. Or at the very least, even if the Ministry had to have his way with him, he wouldn’t have to be stuck here.

He waited until he heard the door close to look up again. Harry crossed the room to the couch and plopped down. “Merlin, I really needed that,” Harry said as he stretched out. He reached to pet Draco, but Draco jumped down and made his way toward the bedroom. He ignored Harry’s shouts of protest and jumped up on the bed, hoping that he’d finally be able to get some rest.

- - - 

Chapter Four

[lizartgurl]

Back To You (Aqualad x OC)

A very self-indulgent AU that is actually great fodder for my muse

@sand-son @betteonit @the-shadow-of-atlantis

PART TWO.

(part one)

Tim and Mara sat on her bed, watching as Emma flitted from one thing to another.

“You sure you don’t want any help?” Mara asked, pointing at the pile spilling out of the one industrial-grade duffel bag she was advised to take.

“I’m fine!” Emma said nervously as she shuffled through the walk-in closet she shared with Mara, trying to decide between two different blue shirts.

Tim sighed, sinking down into the thick down comforters as he rested his laptop on his chest.

“You aren’t trying to see which color Kaldur would like best, are you?” He asked.

“I am not!” Emma insisted. She discarded both shirts and snatched up a pink turtleneck instead.

“Why are you so mad at him?” Mara asked, tossing aside a peach lollipop for a watermelon lollipop on her bag of dum-dums.

Emma didn’t know why the question made her want to laugh.

“Because, Mara, you’ll learn when you’re in a relationship, that there is a certain amount of trust to be expected between partners. And when that trust is broken, you have to question whether that relationship is what you thought it was.”

“Didn’t Rick say he wanted to trust you though?” Tim pointed out.

“Yes, but that’s not the point!” Emma threw a few more pointless items on the pile.

Mara bit into her lollipop, “Then what is?”

“I don’t know!” Emma threw her arms up in the air, sending her pile flying. She fell face-first into her bed with a groan. “Why did I say I’d do this?”

“Because you like Kaldur!” Mara exclaimed, waving her dum-dum like a fairy wand.

“Not anymore, Mara,” Emma muttered into the quilt. Seizing the opportunity, her beloved cat, Justice, leaped onto Emma’s back and curled up, ready to sleep close to his favorite human.

Tim sat up and patted Emma’s head, “But you do still care about him.”

“Well yeah, even if his plan was stupid, he still did a lot to save the world,” Justice hissed irritably as Emma propped herself up on her arms, staring out the window at the gardens of Wayne Manor, green slowly fading to brown already. However cold the New England summers got, Canada was going to be even colder.

“So you do still like him?” Mara waved a cherry lollipop in Emma’s face tauntingly.

Emma snatched it up with a grin for her little sister, “If you say that one more time, I’ll kick you out of my room,” She tickled Mara’s ribs as they both burst into laughter.

“Save me, Tim! Save me!” Mara begged with dramatic flair.

“Okay,” Tim turned his laptop for both of them to see. “By doing research on various areas of Canada, specifically the ones JSA-ers are known to protect, I have put together a list of various things you may need to be able to enjoy yourself while tolerating Kaldur and surviving in the Canadian wilderness.”

Emma stopped tickling Mara and examined the list.

“Tim, have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“You can prove it by letting me turn your room into a private study while you’re gone,” Tim sat up tall and folded his arms proudly.

“As if!” Emma shoved the laptop back at him as Mara beaned her brother with a pillow.

“There’s like fifty studies already in the manor! You don’t need another one!”

“Yeah, but they’re too far from my room,” Tim almost whined.

“Do you really want Mara to have free access to all your files and crap?” Emma nodded towards the closet, connecting both girl’s rooms.

Tim sighed in defeat, “You have a point.”

“Just ask Bruce to open up another study! Even if he won’t, Alfred will,” Mara shrugged.

“Okay, but later. Now, we have to go through everything on this list,” Emma said.

Tim and Mara grinned up at her, “Oh, so now you want our help!”

Emma shrugged, sorting her big pile into smaller piles. Satisfied by how calm she was now, Justice settled into her lap. Emma’s heart jolted, and she held her cat very close. She could still remember the day after she got her powers, when Rick came to her with a kitten that Bruce had found in the alleys of Gotham during his nightly patrol.

“Emma?” Mara asked, sliding down to sit next to Emma on the floor.

“You okay?” Tim joined them, shutting his laptop.

Emma let Justice go and sighed. She had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last time she did that today.

“I’m going to miss you guys,” She sighed.

Mara hugged Emma tightly. “If you’re sad about it, and you don’t like Kaldur anymore, then why are you going?”

Emma pulled Tim into the hug. “I made the choice to be a hero a long time ago. To protect others who couldn’t help themselves. Kaldur may be able to protect himself, but after all he’s been through, he’s going to need all the support he can get.”

“What if he has to stay there? Forever?”

Emma stopped in the middle of rolling up one of her graphic t-shirts. “I don’t know, Mara. Maybe after he’s settled in, I’d come back.”

“That’s mean.”

“Look, no one asked you, Tim!” Justice meowed in agreement, and Emma threw one of her old stuffies at Tim. He caught it in his hand.

“Hey, isn’t this the dragon that Kal-”

“Hey guys!” Rick grinned as he leaned against the doorframe. “Are you all having fun without me?”

“Richard!” Mara leaped up to hang off his leg. She loved it whenever Rick came over.

“Can you please tell Emma to stay if she hates Kaldur so much?”

“I don’t hate him...” Emma stammered.

“You act like you do,” Tim snorted.

Emma sighed, “I don’t know what I’m feeling. Everything’s just happened so fast.”

“How are you doing?” Rick asked. He boosted Mara up onto his shoulders.

Emma debated on telling them, but she really shouldn’t be making a big deal out of it if she wasn’t going to need them for the foreseeable future.

“It’s the anxiety. It’s been acting up ever since we took down the Reach.” Rick and Mara nodded understandingly.

“And got Kaldur back?” Tim added insightfully.

Emma sighed, though it came out more like a groan. “I can’t make up my mind about anything, and I feel like I have to make a decision immediately, but I can’t ever decide. I thought maybe getting away from everything would give me time to think.”

“Well, how about you think over a nice, warm dinner of Alfred's?” Rick prompted, making finger guns at the bedroom door, “I'm pretty sure he was making chicken alfredo with pasta in honor of your big mission.”

“Yuck!” Mara mimed barfing.

“Mar, if you get anything in my hair, I will force feed you an entire jar of Alfred's alfredo sauce.” Richard threatened.

Mara screamed and jumped off the bed, running up the hall and down the stairs, Richard hot on her heels.

Shaking their heads, Emma and Tim followed.

With Richard and then Barbara over for dinner, the table was a bit fuller and the entire manor looked a bit brighter than usual. Bruce even talked and laughed a little bit, and he really did try to finish his meal before he finally gave in to the police radio feed coming in through his earpiece. He wanted them to join him as soon as possible.

After dinner was finished and Alfred had made everyone help with clean-up, the others made to follow Bruce to the cave.

“Good luck you guys, watch each other’s backs,” She said, not putting any effort into her encouragement.

“You’re not coming with us?” Mara’s bottom lip stuck out in a pout.

Emma hugged her, “You’re almost twelve now, Mara, you can’t really do puppy-dog eyes anymore.”

The younger girl huffed. “It was worth a try,” She grumbled.

“I’m going to need all my energy for tomorrow,” She did her best to smile.

Barbara hugged her tightly. “Any last words you can give me about the team?”

“Sheesh, Babs, don’t make it sound like I’m dying!” Emma scolded.

“You might as well be,” Rick snickered. Emma punched him in the shoulder.

“Seriously though, everyone’s so different from everyone else. If you respect them and show that you trust them, they’ll do the same for you.” Emma nodded. Richard tugged at his collar, uncomfortable for only a split second.

“You’re sure you want to do this?” Babs asked.

Emma really wished people would stop asking her that. She was starting to doubt herself.

Emma nodded, waving them towards the stairwell hidden behind the grandfather clock.

“Someone’s gotta make sure Kaldur doesn’t kill himself trying to uncover another plot to take over the world after he gets cabin fever.”

“Hey, It’s Canada!” Richard grinned at her, “How bad can it be?”

-

The sun was just barely up when Emma’s alarm clock (and Bruce) woke her up. Justice woke up when the bed shifted, and stayed awake long enough to bop his forehead against Emma’s. She ducked into Mara’s room, lightly kissing the sleeping girl’s forehead in goodbye, and retrieved her duffle from the closet. Even Alfred was still asleep.

“How was it last night?” She asked, getting in tone of the Wayne’s least-conspicuous cars with Bruce.

“Not too bad,” Bruce turned the key in the ignition. “I told Commissioner Gordon that Nightingale is retiring, for now.”

“And what’s Emma Grayson’s story?” They turned on to the long, lonely road, leading towards Gotham. Emma’s home from the majority of her life.

“The paparazzi knows you like to avoid attention, so that should cover it for maybe a month or two. Tim has your instagram programmed to post some faceless photos of you hanging around the manor with him and Mara, and Justice. Then, when everyone starts getting antsy, I’ll send the jet to Uganda and announce that you’re helping with charities there for an indefinite time. They’ll eat it up, and keep your identities separate.”

Emma exhaled. “Sounds good.”

Bruce made a quiet exclamation, remembering something, and retrieved a paper bag from the backseat without taking his eyes off the road.

“Alfred packed that for you and Kaldur. After that runs out, you’re on your own for cooking.”

Emma snorted, “It’s not like I’m as bad as you.”

The jeep picked up speed as they made it through the city and onto onto the bridge connecting Gotham Island to the mainland New Jersey and Bruce almost grinned. “Just don’t burn the house down. It’s hard to come by a good safehouse these days.”

Ignoring the turning in her stomach, Emma examined the bag’s contents, and immediately devoured a cinnamon roll. Infinitely better than the protein bar she planned to settle on for her breakfast.

They drove in silence for an hour, crossing into New York, past the hills, and down an old dirt road deep in the woods. Emma was too nervous to sleep. Could she really do this? After all that had happened, could she stay in the same house as Kaldur for an unspecified amount of time and still stay sane? She wanted to get away and think, and this was the first opportunity that popped up. She wouldn’t have to worry about typical mission stuff, it would be the emotional toll rather than the physical.

“We’re here.” Bruce stopped the car with a jolt that yanked Emma from her thoughts. The car was parked beneath the umbrella of the trees, but just ahead was a clearing, and with the growing daylight, Emma could make out the gray helicopter that was producing the chopping sound that suddenly filled her ears. Bruce grabbed her bag for her, and she shouldered her backpack.

“You’ll promise to take care of Justice, right?” She said before the noise grew too loud.

Bruce sighed, “So long as he doesn’t claw up my good suits, then yes.”

Emma rolled her eyes, “You can just buy fifty more!” She laughed when she saw Bruce’s grin, but that was before the shades came on. Batman in disguise.

She almost didn’t recognize Wildcat without the catsuit. He stood alone with Kaldur next to the helicopter. Bruce handed Emma’s things to Ted, and he tossed them on the helicopter.

“Well, no point waiting around any longer. Come on kids, the sooner you two are hidden away the better,” Ted hopped in the pilot’s seat, and Aqualad glanced at Emma before climbing in one of the other available seats.

“Nightingale,” Batman grabbed her shoulder before she could decide whether or not she really, absolutely, definitely wanted to get in the copter.

“Be careful who you trust. Tell no one who you really are.”

Emma nodded. That much was obvious.

“No cable, no laptop, no phones. Use landline sparingly. No credit cards, either. Don’t use anything that they can use to trace you.”

He handed her a thick, white envelope.

“This is your allowance for the month. We’ll get your next spendings to you eventually.”

Confident he’d finished his lecture, Emma turned to board the helicopter, but he stopped her.

“Emma, remember, this is for Kaldur, not you. If you can’t handle it, you let us know.”

Emma hesitated before nodded.

“I love you, Dad,” She said quietly.

Bruce just nodded. “Stay safe, Emma.”

He had vanished before she even reached the chopper.

[canaryatlaw]

okay. so. today was pretty fun. I had set my alarm for 10:30 as we’d agreed Jess would pick me up at 11. Well, I woke up to said alarm at 10:30 to a series of messages from Jess telling me to get up already because she wanted nuggets before we went to the con. I told her I’d be ready in 15 minutes, because I was being good and woke up half an hour beforehand when I knew it only really took me 15 minutes to get ready when I’m not doing my make up (doing it in the car here). So I got ready, doing Peter Pan today because I gotta take advantage of my short haired red headed cosplay options because I hate wigs and will be wearing them both Saturday and Sunday. Got picked up, went to Mcdonalds, drove to con, didn’t get stuck in ridiculous traffic like we did yesterday, so that’s a win. I’m trying to remember the details of how everything went down, when you’re there all day and you’re doing different things within a small space it can be hard to remember exactly what you did when. But I think we got there and went to find some people and talked with them for a while, then found Jess’ two friends (”friends”) who were running around doing different things, after waiting for them for a little bit. And I mean, for most of the day we just did different versions of walking around and finding people and looking at things? we’d hang out with a certain group of people for a while and then they’d go off and do a photo shoot or something and we’d migrate to a different group of people. At some point during the afternoon we decided to go through the whole show floor aisle by aisle to assess options before buying anything. I knew I wanted to get a t-shirt of some sort, and sadly there were very few legends-related items out there (I think the only places we really saw them were in the sections where you have the IDs from different shows) so I figured I’d either want something Wonder Woman or Superman related, since those are my other two faves. I was also potentially looking for a cool backpack that’s somewhat bigger than the one I have now because in two weekends we’re doing HVFF New Jersey/Rose City CC in Portland over two days and are just bringing backpacks, and since I decided tonight that I am going to cosplay both days (and the NJ one I am SO excited about!!) I’m gonna need something that can fit a lot of things. What’s annoying about the t-shirt thing is pretty much all of them at cons are only in unisex sizing, not women’s sizes, and I don’t really like how they fit me so I don’t end up wearing them as much as I do the Wonder Woman or Superman shirts I have in woman’s sizes. The other thing I might potentially buy is an Elektra from Daredevil funko pop because back when I was still looking for Katniss but was getting convinced I wouldn’t be able to find her (before I found her online) I was considering making Elektra my next one, and she would fit nicely on my stack of funkos in their boxes (that are literally in a stack on my dresser right now that consists of dark haired women who totally kick ass because apparently I am predictable like that (right now it’s Wonder Woman, Jessica Jones, and Katniss) (I do have three other funkos that are out of their boxes and placed elsewhere, which are my White Canary and Captain Cold, placed in conjunction of course, and Smallville Green Arrow played by Justin Hartley love of my life and the only actor to portray Green Arrow in live action as far as I’m concerned). So we set off to do that. A number of good Wonder Woman options I took note of, a few ones that are old comics styled, a few featuring other Justice League members like Superman and such (though I’m really not a Wonder Woman/Superman shipper like, at all, so not those because Clois is the only valid ship for Clark Kent, though I am open to WonderBat possibilities). There is also a very cool Wonder Woman backpack we were looking for that I’ll probably go back and get because it had a lot of places to put stuff and looked like it could fit everything nicely, it was just 60 bucks so I wanted to make sure it was definitely the best one before actually buying it. The Elektra pop has shown up a few places, cheapest so far for $10, so I’ll keep looking at those since there are of course a ton of places with pops. We kept getting stopped by random men that wanted to talk to us because Jess was being a fucking furry (she got asked to take a picture with two people in full on fur suits and I was dying laughing while also taking a picture of it). By the time it was like 5:30 or so we were pretty much done with everything, so we ended up meeting up with some people and heading to one of the restaurants over by the parking garage, because if you eat at one of the restaurants there they’ll validate your parking so you don’t have to fork over like $15 just for parking. So we ended up going to the German restaurant, which is always a bit of an adventure lol. The first time my family went to DisneyWorld when I was like 12 our restaurant reservations got messed up for one of the days and the only other place we could get in was the German restaurant in Epcot, and all I remember is there menu being like, essentially like three different types of hot dogs, so whenever I think of German food now that’s what I think of, and how I somehow managed to not barf it all up when my brothers and I ran (literally) from Epcot over to Animal Kingdom to get to our fast pass for Expedition Everest, which we made with like 4 minutes left on it and then went on the crazy roller coaster where I was sure I was gonna puke it all up (our restaurant reservation was for like, 4:40, and the fast pass was between 6 and 7, so we thought we’d be fine, but the restaurant got super backed up and didn’t seat us till like 6:15, so we basically ate like half a meal and then ran from the middle of the Epcot circle of nations through the rest of the park, onto the tram and then all the way through Animal Kingdom to Expedition Everest, making it at 6:56). But we got some super cute pictures of my darling baby sister who was 3 at the time and like at peak cuteness dancing to the polka in the German restaurant so that was definitely worth it. ANYWAY. this restaurant seemed somewhat similar in that there was a polka band and everything but thankfully had a larger menu selection. Jess and I ended up splitting some potato pancakes (sorry Germans, they weren’t as good as latkes) and a jumbo pretzel because she doesn’t eat red meat and I’ve been getting Meat Fatigue™ (which we’re still pretending is a real thing okay). We had an interesting conversation going on around us as the guy sitting next to me was trying to say it was bs that people were making excuses for James Gunn in that situation when strongly condemning Trump for making obscene comments, except he was not explaining it well at all and it was totally being lost in translation for everybody else until I was like okay, this is what you mean and explained it and he was like “yes, exactly! I like her” to which I was like 😂😂😂 understanding what people are saying pretty much all the time and explaining things happen to be two random talents of mine that come in handy a lot. So the meal was pretty good, one of the ladies we were with graciously picked up the tab so we were very thankful to her for that. At that point we were pretty beat so we walked back to the parking garage (after getting our parking validated) and drove home. I got dropped off and we planned to pick me up at 10 am tomorrow. I fumbled in the dark with my keys for a few minutes because somehow all the outdoor lights and the lights in the hallway of my building have gone out and not been replaced (yes I could’ve turned my flashlight on on my phone but I was being stubborn and wanted to do it myself) but eventually got it figured out. NICKZANO was very happy to see me, though I told her she’s gonna have to get used to being alone more once I get a job (at some point, anyway). I think I may actually be allergic to cats though, because my legs where I’d been letting her sit on are like hella itchy, but it’s obviously not a major issue at all and I’ll just like, put pants or longer shorts on from now on and that won't be a problem. I showered and changed into my pajamas, then watched a few episodes of 30 Rock, keeping it nice and light. I’m in their 5th season now out of 7 (which is kinda funny because I’m also on the 5th season out of 7 on GoT right now) so sooner or later I’m gonna have to find something else for funny filler episodes when I just want funny tv. And yeah, I did that for a while and then finished getting ready for bed and here we be now. So yeah, lots of fun, hopefully tomorrow will as well, I will be debuting my Ava Sharpe cosplay (who I was never really planning to cosplay but ended up needing to do so for our photo op with Matt Ryan which is gonna be fucking hilarious, just wait) and seeing Matt Ryan so that will be fun. I’ll probably wait till Sunday when I’m doing my also new (and pulled together exclusively of stuff I already owned because business wear) Lois Lane cosplay to see Tom Welling and Michael Rosenbaum. I was considering doing a photo op with them, but their joint one was $150 which is a tad excessive, and like, Tom alone was still $90 and I wouldn't even know what to do in a single one with him because I’d rather like, have one with both of them so Tom and I could look like we were fighting Michael, but also Michael has hair now so he doesn't even really look like Lex Luthor anymore, so given all of those factors I decided meeting them and getting selfies with them in my cosplay would be good enough. Okay, that’s all I got, it’s 1 am and I’m waking up at 9:30 and I like sleeping so I’m going to go to bed now. Goodnight peeps. Have a lovely weekend.

[riverdalewriter]

Greendale to Riverdale |Ch. 3| {J.J x Reader Imagine}

Word count: 2,513

Character count: 12,733

Y/N = Your Name

Y/L/N = Your Last Name

Summary: A new one comes to town and quickly befriends the core four, plus Kevin. They are welcomed to this town, no one bothers them and they trust their friends. They are loving their new home, but soon their Mother gets in trouble, and everything comes tumbling down from there.

WARNINGS: There are triggers in this piece, such as sexual assault, suicidal thoughts, memory loss and then getting it back in pieces but they are awful. There will be some things written in detail, but not all. I am being mindful of people who have been through this or something similar to this. So please, do read this with caution, and if you do deal with this stuff I am deeply sorry. No one should have to go through this.

Author’s Note: This one is weird, it’s season 1 and 2 merged together. Hope you like it. This one is longer than the others.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 4

I wake up the next morning, feeling like I don’t want to get up. I don’t want to even open my eyes, it feels nice to still be sleeping, to keep dreaming and not have to wake up to the real world. But that quickly ends when my Mother draws open the curtains. When I open my eyes I quickly cover them with my blanket, but she takes it out of my hands.

“Come on Mother, it is too early for this.”

“It’s Thursday, you have school, so therefore you have to wake up. Now get ready for school. You know I haven’t seen Jughead since Monday night, you should invite him over more often, he’s one of the good ones,” she winks at me and smiles. I smile back, knowing what she is implying and acknowledging she is right.

“But can’t I stay home? I really don’t feel so good and I had a really hard time sleeping last night. I woke up what felt like every hour,” I give her the puppy dog eyes, knowing she will give in.

“Sorry sweetie, that doesn’t work on me anymore. You have to go to school today, that’s the law,” She gives me a sympathetic look. I just nod my head and she leaves. I get ready, with some effort. The last few days have been the worst ever. I haven’t been feeling myself lately. I’m always tired, having no motivation, no energy, and always wanting to sleep. I just don’t understand. Nothing significant has caused this to happen, at least nothing that I can remember. I am missing a few hours from Tuesday and Wednesday my whole body was sore, especially my legs. There are some bruises too.

“Sweetie, Jughead is here. He says he’s going to walk you to school,” shouts my Mother from the kitchen.

“Okay!” I shout back. I grab my backpack and phone and rush down the stairs. Jughead is there, by the door waiting for me. Once he sees me downstairs we head out the door and begin our walk to school. We have a light conversation, nothing too deep, but that’s when it hit me, my first memory from Tuesday night.

I grab onto Jughead shoulder and bend over, he stops thinking I’m going to be sick and I am, but I don’t barf. The memory is me at a party, and I’m drinking a lot, I was dancing with a guy and then he leads me up the stairs and into a bedroom, I follow him. Then he picks me up and throws me on the bed, it happened so quick it takes me a moment to register what just happened. Then he gets on top of me and takes all my clothes off. I don’t like where this is going, so I say no and fight back, but he holds me down.

That’s it that’s all I remember. I take out my phone and google what I was feeling yesterday. I fall to the ground crying out my pain. Jughead is quick and tries to pick me up, but I fall anyways. He holds me, not knowing why I was in so much pain, but knowing that I am in pain.

I continue to cry out and he continues to comfort me, trying to calm me down like he once did Monday night. Eventually, I calm down enough to say, “Jughead...I was raped.” Those four words stun him, but he never let's go, he just holds me tighter. We stay there like this on the sidewalk for a bit, knowing that we would be late for school and that the others will be wondering where we are.

Jughead lets some space in between us to say, “I am not going to leave you, not now and certainly not ever. It’s going to be okay,” he cups my face with his hand and looks into my eyes. He’s scared and worried. I can tell he cares for me, but I don’t know in what way, that is something I can’t tell.

“Promise?”

“Promise,” Jughead kisses my forehead right before he stands up and brings me up with him. We start walking, I just don’t know where. I trust him to know that he would never put me in danger. But we stop and I look up to know why we stopped. We’re in front of the Sheriff’s Station. I look at Jughead, he knows I’m afraid, but I know he promised it will be okay. I nod my head signaling that I’m ready and he nods his, showing that he understands. We walk up the steps and through the doors.

That’s when I get another memory, I squeeze Jugheads hand and he knows what’s happening. One memory after another after another keep coming, it’s like as soon as I walked into the station by body released all the memories, except for who did this to me.

It was Chuck’s party, he was hosting it at his house. I was drinking and dancing with this one guy. We were flirting with each other and I was leading him on, but not for sex. I didn’t want that, I knew that from the start, but I guess my drunken self-didn’t care. I did once he threw me onto the bed and held me down when I put up a fight. I shudder and that's what brings me back into reality.

“We aren’t here to cause a scene, we’re here to file a rape,” Jughead says with determination, but there is concern laced with it. Sheriff Keller looks surprised but collects himself and takes us to a room. We sit at a table, him across from Jughead and I.  We never stop holding hands, it’s more of a reassurance and comfort thing right now. I tell Keller everything I can remember, he asks questions, I give him answers.

“Now finally, what were you wearing, we need to collect the evidence to get DNA.”

“I was wearing a white and floral romper with black lingerie. It’s all in my hamper. Once I had gotten home that night I went to my room and threw the clothes in the hamper and then washed everything off of me. My Mother hasn’t done laundry yet.”

“Okay. Now we are going to go to the hospital. A female doctor is going to do a rape kit, I and another officer are going to go to your home to inform your parents of what has happened and we are going to collect your clothing for evidence and have tests run on it. Another officer is going to take photos of your bruises for evidence as well, that will be done at the hospital as well. The school will be informed as well. Your parents will be taken to the hospital if you want anyone else to be there contact them after your parents get there.”

And with that everything is set in motion. I’m in a hospital room, on a hospital bed, the doctor does the exam and the officer take the photo. Jughead isn’t in the room at the time, I assume he is waiting for my parents to arrive. Once they are done, I put on my regular clothes and Jughead and my parents walk into the room. The officer and the doctor leave the room to give us time alone. Jughead hangs back a bit while my parents hug me. I had noticed my Mother’s eyes were red and puffy, my Father’s facial expressions were hard to read. He was always easy to read, but this time is different. They let go of me and give me time alone with Jughead.

He walks over to me and wraps his arms around me, I lean into him. We sway a bit, just kind of rocking back and forth, it’s nice. 

Jughead was the first to say something, “When you told me you had been hurt I had no idea what to think, I didn’t know what to feel either. I really care for you y/n. You mean a lot to me, even though we haven’t known each other for very long it feels like I have known you for longer than that y/n.”

“I know what you mean Jug. I feel that same way about you. Thank you Jug, for being with me the whole time. It means a lot to me, to know that I have you to get me through this,” He tenses but then relaxes. We here a knock at the door and look up to see Betty, Veronica, Archie, Cheryl, and Toni. Jughead and I let go of each other and they walk in to give a big group hug. After a few minutes, they let go and take a seat in some chairs. I look at all of them, and I can tell that they want to know, but I can’t bear to tell them. I couldn’t imagine what their facial expressions would be like if I told them everything. They know why I’m here, they just don’t know the details. I can hardly bear the news myself.

“By all of your facial expressions I can tell you want to know, but I can’t tell you everything. I can hardly handle the news myself. I am grateful that I have all of you in my life, all of your support. Thank you guys for being here with me, for me even.”

Cheryl is the first on to speak up, “Of course y/n. After what Nick tried to do with me, you were there as well, helping me and being there for me. I wanted to do the same for you,” she smiles at me and hugs me once more.

“When I say that you are our friend and that we will always be here for you, I speak for everyone. We may have not known you for very long, but we are your friends,” says Veronica, everyone nods their heads in agreement with Veronica. They all come in for another group hug. Jughead just stands in the distance, not wanting to interrupt.

“Hey guys, I can’t breathe and it’s getting harder to breathe. It’s hot in here,” my breathing quickens and that’s when they let go of me. My breathing returns to normal and I’m breathing normally again. I look over to Jughead and he was closer to me than before, I think he was ready to pull someone off of me so I could breathe.

For the rest of the time, we are all just hanging out, talking about everything. I hadn’t realized that what I have in this new life is what I have always wanted. I don’t exactly fit in when I go to school, but when I’m with them and with Jughead, I feel like I finally fit in. Back in Greendale, I didn’t fit in, I didn’t have any friends and school was awful. There were criminals in Greendale, and here in Riverdale there wasn’t much crime at all, that was why my parents decided to move here. But now that this has happened I don’t know what is going to happen. But, whatever does happen, I am going to fight to stay here. I finally feel like I’m home.

Eventually, everyone trickled out, but Jughead stayed. My parents didn’t want to leave but they had to be interviewed by Sheriff Keller. Jughead walked me home. It was a long walk, but eventful. We held hands the whole way back and I felt something, I didn’t know what the feeling was, but I liked it.

We walk into the front door of my house, my parents aren’t home yet. We go into the kitchen and I walked over to the fridge to look for something to eat or make. I see some ingredients for burgers and I see other ingredients for my famous spaghetti.

“Jug, would you like burgers or my famous spaghetti?” I say without turning away from the fridge.

“I only eat burgers from Pop’s, so I will have to go with your famous spaghetti.”

“Don’t worry my feelings aren’t hurt about the burgers. I already feel enough pain. Then my famous spaghetti it is,” I grab the ingredients from the fridge and boil the water. 10 minutes later the pasta is cooked.

“How much sauce do you want? I usually don’t put a whole lot in, but Mother says that when I cook (this) and a guest is over, to ask them how they prefer it, that way you can alter it. It also makes you seem like your thinking about them and not just yourself,” I say while I’m putting a little sauce in at a time.

“Just a bit more.”

I jump, I didn’t think he was right there next to me. “Jesus Jug, you scared me. I could have dropped this!” I laugh a little, showing him I’m joking around. He laughs too. I stop putting the sauce in and put it away with the rest of the ingredients, “Jug can you stir that while I put this stuff away, then I won’t have to do this later.”

“Sure” I put everything away and by the time I’m done, the pasta and the sauce have been mixed thoroughly, “I did a pretty good job, didn’t I?”

“For mixing ingredients, yes you did Jug.” I smile at him and he smiles back. I grab two plates and serve us. Jug grabs the silverware and cups to fill with ice and water.

Later that night after dinner we watched a movie up in my bedroom (with the door open). My parents still hadn’t come home yet, I wonder what’s holding them up. We fall asleep next to each other, cuddling. What makes me up is flashing red and blue lights and a loud banging on the front door.

I jolt and shake Jug, “Jughead, wake up!” He wakes up and notices the lights as well. We look at each other and we jump, do to another hard bang on the front door. We rush downstairs and I open the door. It’s Sheriff Keller.

“I’m sorry to say, but your parents were in an accident. Your Mother didn't make it, your Father is in the hospital. He’s in critical danger, but the doctors think he’s going to pull through. We need to take you to the hospital.” I barely heard the rest. Jughead puts his hand on my shoulder and that takes me out of my trance.

“Miss. Y/L/N, we need to go now.”

“Oh yes, of course.” Jughead and I go into the back seats of the cop car and we rush to the hospital. The lights and sirens helped with that. We arrive at the hospital, Jug and I wait in the visitors' lounge. He calls Archie and tells him to only call Betty and Veronica. He ends the call and comes back to sit next to me. He holds my hand and never let’s go of it. Now all we do it wait a terribly long time.

[dramallamadingdang]

Replies!

A bunch o’ them. Some are old because I’ve been bad. :(

For @getmygameon, @penig, @shaonharryandpannisim, @didilysims, @pensblr, @esotheria-sims, @celebkiriedhel, @leavealight-on, @sim-boo, @cedanyblee, @holleyberry, annnnnnd @clericalrodent...

Omg a pregnant sim that knows how to feed themselves. Its going to snow o.o

I dunno, all my Sims take pretty good care of themselves in terms of filling their own motives as well as gaining skill points. It’s probably because of the mods I have that nuke a portion of the behaviors they can engage in, so that they are more directed towards things that actually do something for them. Also, I’ve made lots of objects have autonomous interactions, so it keeps them busy and happy. :) Of course, it makes things like Asylum Challenges a little less fun, but I generally prefer to have Sims that I don’t have to micromanage, as I’m mostly a hands-off sort of player.

penig replied to your photoset “Cherry, nesting. In her pajamas-that-are-really-underwear. (I really...”

Sounds like a useful, fulfilling life to me. I wouldn't want it, myself. But somebody should.

It’s a good life for a Popularity Sim, I think. Cherry’s Romance/Popularity, but she’s always been more interested in the popularity-type things than the romance-type things. Well, except for woohoo, but she’s perfectly happy to keep that within the triad.

shaonharryandpannisim replied to your photo “Mars the wee puppy grew into Mars the great big hairy...”

You always get the best Pets !! Look at the cute ball of floof

He is very floofy! And I dunno, I tend to get fugly dogs, at least those that are game-generated and not the “premade” ones in the adoption bin. Cute cats, fugly dogs. Poor dogs. This one’s not so fugly, at least.

didilysims replied to your post “*sigh*”

Doesn't help that tumblr takes a lot of internet juice to run! My poor shoddy internet doesn't like it much, and some days refuses to load everything, though other sites will run fine. I feel your pain.

Yeah, all those pics and GIFs and stuff to load can really gum up the works. I’m used to it being slow in Colorado, where the only option available is really, really crappy DSL. It’s cheap and it’s the only option for the moment, so it’s not really worth complaining about. But here in CA, where we’ve been for over a year now, we have that fiberoptic jazz, and it’s usually really, really fast and it’s expensive. So, when you pay a lot for fast internet, you expect it to be...Well, fast. All the time. :) But apparently they were doing something the past couple days and I guess they’re done because it’s back to normal now. :)

pensblr replied to your photoset “For the anon who requested them, here’s the mangled version of Spaik’s...”

Still loving your hi-res textures on...all the things. Thank you!

You’re welcome! I still worry that it’ll be pushing it too much...but then I remember that most of the converted stuff from other games is high-res/high-poly, and since I don’t have very much of that stuff AND I don’t have an unreasonable amount of hi-res custom hair, either, I’m figuring I, at least, can go sort of hog-wild with objects and walls/floors. Not so sure about everyone else, though...

esotheria-sims replied to your photoset “For the anon who requested them, here’s the mangled version of Spaik’s...”

*snags* Your hi-res recolors will be the death of me...

I promise to say nice things at your funeral. ;)

celebkiriedhel replied to your post “*sigh*”

More importantly - check your ping - it might be that one of the networks may be struggling. Its worth talking to your internet provider to see.

Yeah, the hubbo called them. It’s his job to do phone things, since I hate talking on phones. Apparently, they were doing something or something was down (I kind of tuned out all the technobabble that I don’t understand), but it’s fixed now. YAY! I’m just glad it wasn’t a problem on our end.

getmygameon replied to your photo “Pop! (I love her OMGWTF?! face.)”

More like a 'no! I just bought this! Damnit I knew I shouldn't have had that extra cinnamon roll last night!' Face XD

Heh. Yeah, pregnancy bumps AND getting fat both kinda happen very suddenly to Sims. Like, 0 to 60 in 0.1 seconds. :) I imagine it might be hard to know which is which, at first. “Am I pregnant? Or am I just fat?” Then again, all the barfing should be a clue to them, I’d think...

leavealight-on replied to your photo “Aaron barged in to hog the piano.”

Apologies if you've already been asked this, but where are those curtains from? They're gorgeous :)

They are a recolor I have of the Holy Simoly “Simply Elegant” curtains. I’m sorry to say that I have no idea who made that particular recolor or where it might be found since I have hundreds of recolors of those things, gathered over years. I’m sorry! But I agree they’re nice. But then, orange IS one of my favorite colors. :)

sim-boo replied to your post “And of course the next morning, Amelia rolled up the usual...”

I like how its not like "I WANT THIS PERSON TO DIE" cause that would be too direct instead they just imply it

I imagine the people who do the game ratings might be a little iffy on Sims outright wishing death on people. :) But it is still pretty much the same thing. Even more vicious is wanting them to be eaten by a cowplant so that the pissed-off Sim can drink their life essence. Yow!

didilysims replied to your photoset “New lots! Captioned.”

They look so cool with their Lot Adjuster adjustedness. (And even without--pretty snazzy buildings.)

Thanks! I’m in love with the Lot Adjuster a little bit. So many cool things you can do with it! I wish Mootilda was still with us, so that I could thank her more for all of her utilities for the game. :(

cedanyblee replied to your photoset “Here are @nimitwinklesims‘s horizonless skies, edited to be compatible...”

That's the sims 2?! Whaaaa- so pretty. ��

It is indeed TS2! Completely unedited pics, too. With all of the stuff that’s been made for the game in the past couple of years, particularly the stuff that affects neighborbood view, I think it’s the prettiest game of the four. But, I could be a wee bit biased. ;)

holleyberry replied to your post “*is contemplating building a custom uni* *is probably insane* *has...”

Yes! There are so many things you can do in this game.

I know! There are so many things that I STILL haven’t done, even though I’ve been playing for almost 10 years. And I see people saying, “Oh, I’m so bored with the game!” and I’m like...how? How can you be? You can do literally ANYTHING with it! Boredom is not possible! I mean, I can see being bored with a particular family or even a particular neighborhood. But with the game as a whole? Not possible.

penig replied to your photo “These two barged in and…um… Well, he’s always admired her at her pool...”

And she needs to get on with her life. No one can mourn forever.

This is true. But seriously, does she need to get on with her life with her brother-in-law??? Because, judging by her wants, she really, really wants to. But A) I’m not sure I wanna go there. I mean, I’m perfectly OK with doing in the game some things that freak other people out, but...I dunno, for me that’s pushing it. And B) Simon doesn’t seem to feel the same. Yeah, he’ll mess with her if they’re together, but he doesn’t roll wants for her. Probably because for him, she’s just one of many.

clericalrodent replied to your photo “Owen is just slightly kitty-obsessed. As in, he pretty much does...”

Ooh, you should totally get some custom kitties to spice up the genetics game.

I might, if I do more breeding. As it is, I’m happy with just what the game generates. Same as I am with Sims, for that matter. Once in a blue moon I’ll download a Sim, but generally I’m happy with what my game generates.

[ethicallysourcedhumanmeat]

Little Talks: 1: Our Little Talks

[ > ]

[Masterpost][AO3] 4500 words

Ayame probably should have gone home after class, not let her TA and his boyfriend talk her into going to a party with them and playing the sober friend.  Not that she regrets it when their friend, the new photography professor offers to drive her home.

This will follow V and Ayame (along with Saeran and Yoosung) as they navigate V's first relationship after Yoosung's route/secret ending (what's canon I can't hear you).  It will also play with an idea I've seen in the fandom where MC was working with Mint Eye (note that Ayame is not the MC in this story, she will be introduced next chapter).

He’d spend the day at SKYU touring the arts building that held his classroom, he’d frowned at first, the initial room they’d presented to him had seemed more like a lecture hall than a photography class, but then they’d showed him another room, telling him if he was so inclined he could use it as a studio space, it was empty anyway and connected to the dark room that was used by only a few students.

A few of the tenured professors who’d been fans of his had talked him into going to dinner with them, they’d all taken cabs, dragging him along and he’d had to go back to campus to collect his car.  He had to admit, when Jumin had brought up the prospect of teaching to him he’d been skeptical but after watching the students in the classrooms and studios of the building he was starting to feel something like excitement. 

He’d peeked in more than a few of the active classes, stepping into an open doorway whenever his guide had stopped for more than a moment.  Ignoring the man talking to him about whatever technical aspects had interested his predecessor, he’d watched the faces of the students, remembering when he’d started out. The excitement, and exhaustion, the bliss of creating something out of an idea, something you could put your name on.

He hoped he could inspire these kids.

There had been teachers too, some who droned on about colour theory or art history and others who stalked quietly through the canvases in their classroom studios.  He’d been interested to look into the class he knew Saeran took; his teacher was one of the few things he seemed happy to talk about, a young woman V had heard of in passing, who’d shown well early on but seemed to drop off quickly.

She was at the head of the room when he stuck his head around the corner, Saeran catching his eye immediately and shaking his head at him, she stuck out then, her bright coral hair, her dark pensive eyes, she was leaning against a wall in earnest conversation with a student.  She gestured with a brush splattering herself and the nearby wall in paint and laughing.  There was paint on her hands, paint in her hair, paint smeared along the corner of her mouth where she’d obviously been chewing on a brush.

She stuck out now.

She was in the big common room of the dorm building that Yoosung’s misspelled text had told him to come to.  Yoosung was curled around Saeran’s arm while he strummed at the beat up acoustic guitar he kept with him.  Saeran was leaning against a wall singing, his cheeks were pink and his head tilted towards Yoosung, bright green eyes trained on the top of his inclined blonde head.

She bounced on the balls of her feet in time with Saeran’s strums, tapping her hip and snapping her fingers, her eyes were downcast and her hair fell in her face, he couldn’t tell if her pink cheeks were a reflection or a blush. 

Neither of them are exceptional musicians but they sound nice, nicer than the party around them deserves.  About 8 of the 20 or so people in the room are listening to them one couple leans heavily against one another and sways with the song.  V smiles to see it, nostalgic for the days of house parties and someone to lean on

There’s a screech of the strings as Yoosung stumbles against Saeran, and V almost jumps but she takes the guitar from Saeran, neither of them missing a beat as they continue to sing, Saeran’s shoulder bumping against her as he pulls Yoosung up hugging the taller boy to him and leaning against the wall behind him.

Some days I can't even trust myself It's killing me to see you this way 'Cause though the truth may vary, this Ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

She smiles, shaking her head in an unsuccessful attempt to get her hair out of her face.  V watches her suppress a laugh as Yoosung reaches out a hand over Saeran’s shoulder to clumsily push her hair behind her ear. My friend, Saeran said talking about his teacher.  She had taken on a lot when she agreed to mentor him, he knew that.  The school wouldn’t have let him in with his record if she hadn’t stood up for him.

She listens to me, he’d heard him tell Saeyoung once.  V didn’t know which had been better for him, Yoosung, school, or this teacher but Saeran now only saw his therapist on a monthly basis, he attended a bi-weekly game night with Yoosung, and he could stand in a room full of people and play his guitar, and smile.  No small task for the boy who’d try to kill his own brother and maimed a psychologist in his hospital room.

Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear 'Cause though the truth may vary, this Ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

His attention switches to her, she’s smiling now, but her eyes are still downcast.  Her playing is not as good as Saeran’s and she sways, bumping into the boys rhythmically while she plays,  like she wants to make sure they don’t forget her.  Like she’s reminding herself she’s not alone.  Yoosung joins in, slightly off key but her smile widens and she leans around Saeran’s back to boop Yoosung on the nose as the song ends.

Saeran is laughing softly and scolding Yoosung  as he takes his guitar back from her and shoves his boyfriend at his friend.  She is laughing, holding Yoosung out in front of her like she’s just been handed a baby without warning.

“No, this isn’t a fair trade, give me back the guitar,” she whines

“I agree,” Saeran snorts.  “It’s not fair, he’s way better looking than my guitar, and he cuddles.”

She makes a gagging noise. “But the guitar is less likely to vomit on me without any warning.”

“Hey,” Yoosung squeaks pulling himself out of her grip and stumbling a little, “that happened once and it was my birthday and—It’s V! Hey V!” Yoosing waves.

He can feel his cheeks heat up when she follows Yoosung’s beaming smile so it’s the soft smile on Saeran’s face he tries to focus on.  The way his features soften when he looks at Yoosung.  That nostalgic feeling pulls at his heart again.

“Hi,” she’s already reaching out to shake his hand when she speaks and he takes it tentatively, “you’re the new photo-guy right?”

He nods, he knows her name, he’s heard it a hundred times but when he tries to remember it all he can see is the painting of hers he’d seen at a student show in Amsterdam. It had been a city skyline, he’d appreciated the way it was no city in particular and every city he’d ever been to, he’d admired her use of negative space and the way the lights of the city had mirrored the stars in her sky.  He’d been visiting the gallery with Jumin and Rika, considering an offer to show there in a month. 

He’d meant to buy it before they’d left but then he’d said something, and Rika had gotten angry and he’d forgotten.

“Jesus,” Saeran groans under his breath. “Ayame, this is V.”

“He’s famous,” Yoosung whispers loudly.

Ayame laughs.  “Yeah, I know, thanks.”

“I enjoy you work,” he says to fill the space.  It’s been so long since he’d met someone socially, someone he didn’t need to impress for the RFA, someone who made him want to talk to them. 

Her face freezes and she pulls her hand back out of his grip. “You uh, that’s very nice, did Saeran show you?”

A look passes between them and Saeran shrugs and shakes his head.

 “Did Yoosung ask you for a drive?” Saeran asks, and V is thankful for the abrupt subject change.

“I think that’s what he was trying to ask,” V chuckles.

“Aw man,” Yoosung gasps, a sniffle and a muffled sob follow.

Everyone looks at him as he stares down, the most forlorn expression on his face, he’s almost in tears when he glances up at Saeran.

Saeran takes Yoosung’s face in his hands. “Hey cutie what’s wrong?” He asks softly and V notices Ayame glance nervously up at him from behind them.

“My shoe’s untied,” Yoosung sobs.

V chokes back a laugh and hears Ayame whisper a soft Jesus Christ.

“Your what?” Saeran snorts, holding back his own laugh.

“My shoe,” Yoosung has stopped sobbing but he stares down pointing at his left sneaker, “these were my favorite ones too.”

“How much have you drank tonight?” V asks.

“Beer,” Yoosung nods.

Saeran drops down and Ayame grabs onto Yoosung’s hips when he sways foreword almost toppling over.

“Look,” Saeran says through his suppressed laughter, “it’s tied again, all fixed up, you can keep these shoes now right.”

Yoosung shrugs.  “I guess, but it feels like lying.”

Ayame snorts.

“Let’s go home,” Saeran laughs.

“Can we get pizza?” Yoosung asks looking at V with big puppy dog eyes.

“We have Pizza at home,” Saeran sighs. Yoosung shrugs and pitches himself towards the exit, Ayame and Saeran rush to keep up with him and V follows them, chuckling as he watches Yoosung bounce between them like a pinball.  He stands back watching them convince Yoosung to get in the car, Ayame trying to talk him into taking a plastic grocery bag with him.

“I threw up one time,” he whines relenting.

“Ok well if you’re not going to barf I want Saeran to send me pictures of you drinking 2 glasses of water before you go to bed ok?”

“Two?” He yells leaning out the door, “am I a horse?”

“No Yoosung, you’re drunk,” Saeran chuckles pushing Yoosung farther into the backseat of Vs BMW.

“Have you been drinking?” he asks her as Saeran slides in the back beside Yoosung. “Do you need a ride too?”

“I’m ok,” she smiles, her cheeks pink and now he can’t tell if it’s from the chill or if she’s blushing.  “I promised the drunk baby that I’d be sober-buddy so he wouldn’t feel guilty.”

“Are you sure you don’t need a drive, I’d hate for you to pay for a cab when I don’t mind at all.”

“Oh no it’s fine, I can walk.”

“Ayame get in the fucking car,” Saeran grunts. “The faster you let him drive you home the faster I can put this asshole to bed.”

“You’re being mean,” Yoosung whines behind him.

“I would feel better if I could make sure you got home safely,” he smiles at her and this time he knows she’s blushing.

She shrugs and he opens the passenger side door for her. 

It’s not until they’re more than 5 minutes past her place she realizes she forgot to tell him her address.  Saeran teases her in that dry deadpan way he has and Yoosung tries to make a joke that comes out as bubbling laughter followed by her name and something to do with roses.  Ayame gets out of the car with the boys and helps Saeran fish Yoosung’s keys out of his pocket and get the door open. 

He watches her stand with her foot in the door while Saeran shoves Yoosung into the lobby elevator, she doesn’t step away until the doors close and the numbers above them start to change.

“That was very kind of you,” he says when she ducks back into his car. 

She shrugs.  “You think it’s weird that we’re friends right?”

“Hmm? No,” V says quickly.

“Are you sure?” She teases him. “You said that awfully quick.”

He’s quiet for a moment; pulling back out onto the highway towards the campus and the place she rented a room.  “Before tonight I thought it was strange but I hadn’t realized you were so young.”

She laughs. “Young?  I hate to out myself as a fangirl but we’re the same age, I’m actually a little older.”

He turns and raises an eyebrow. “Are you saying I’m not young?”

She turns sideways and pulls her feet up sitting awkwardly cross-legged in the leather seat of his car and bursts into laughter.  He watches her in his peripheral as he pulls off the highway towards her home, he listens to the way it starts as a snort, and then the grunt when she tries to suppress it and then the laughter, full on tears in her eyes gasping for breath laughter.  It takes her a minute before she stops, doubled over with the seatbelt tucked behind her and her arms clutching at her sides.  “I’m so sorry,” she says through her gasps for air, “I’m not sure why that was so funny.”

He shrugs, unable to hide the smile on his face.  “You know, I wasn’t trying to flatter you before, I really do enjoy your work, I saw a landscape study you did in Amsterdam a few years ago, it was breathtaking.”

“Five,” she says softly.

“Hmm.”

“Five years ago, you saw my Amsterdam gallery five years ago, you remembered a show I did when I was a student but you couldn’t remember my name?”

“I’m uh,” he laughs nervously and runs a hand through his pastel hair.

She blushes twisting in her seat to look away from him. “I’ve never met anyone who recognized me for my work before,” she admits.

“Really?” He doesn’t mean to sound so incredulous when he speaks.

She snorts. “Well there was the student last year who recognized a piece I had on the wall but it was only because this Finnish indie band had used it as their cover art,” she groans, “Christ, I’m pretty sure the first run of that album with my stolen painting is worth more than the actual piece now.”

There’s a rock in the pit of his stomach when she points out her driveway and he considers missing it as an excuse to drive around the block one more time, to keep her talking, but he doesn’t, he turns towards the big brick building and frowns. 

“You live here?”

She shurgs, unashamed and smiles.  “It’s cheap,” she chirps and giggles a little.  She sits there for a minute with her hand on the door handle, not quite looking at him through her hair.

“Do you—” They both start to speak and he snaps his mouth shut as she giggles again.

“Do you want to come in for a minute?” She asks, her voice dropping a little.

“I’m not,” he starts to decline, it’s late and they both teach classes tomorrow, and anyone still awake will certainly talk.  But then a little voice in the back of his head says you’re an adult, who cares, “yes,” he nods and he can see her smile when she turns to open her door.

“Do you want a drink?” She asks throwing her keys down on the table.

“If it’s no trouble that would be nice,” he chuckles softly to himself while she throws cupboards open and mumbles to herself.

“Well, it looks like our options are expired tomato juice, energy drinks, or uh Vodka?”  She holds the bottle up and laughs.  “I thought I had a much less embarrassing bottle of wine but someone must have drank it, or I maybe did? Hmm.”

“Tap water is fine,” he smiles reaching past her to the cupboard he’d seen drinking glasses in, “I can even serve myself, I’m a very easy guest.”

She blushes when his arm brushes her shoulder.  “Very responsible of you Mr. Kim,” she nods and presses her lips together. 

“Boring,” he laughs, “or so I’ve been told by some.”

“Saeran?” she asks, eyebrows raised.

“His brother actually.”

“Oh, so you know he-who-shall-not-be-named?  They’re twins right?  Identical?  Are they alike?”

He chuckles at her barrage of questions, the way she leans closer to him with each one, the bottle of vodka forgotten in her hand. 

“They are identical,” he nods, “but only on paper, you’d never confuse one for the other in person.”

“He doesn’t talk about him a lot, Yoosung does sometimes but never by name, like it’s a secret or something.”

“It was once,” V muses, “I think it’s just become a habit.”

She sets the bottle on the counter and leads him into a small area with a few chairs and a couch, “do you want to sit down?”

“We won’t wake your housemates?”

“I’m the only one who sleeps on this floor.”

“So you know my real name,” he says, sitting on the sofa his head cocked to the side while she blushes, wishing she had a drink to hide behind.

“Oh uh,” she fidgets with the hem of her shirt, “Uh, well I know you’re the new teacher, I saw the sign on the door said Kim, I uh, heh,” she runs a hand through her hair, “I don’t know your first name, just your psued.”

“Hmm,” he frowns, “I suppose it won’t be a secret very much longer if I’m going to teach will it?”

She sits down next to him, the worn sofa pushing them together a little.  “Didn’t think of that huh?”

He laughs a little.

“You don’t have to answer,” she says looking at her hands in her lap, “but I feel like I have to ask; you haven’t done a show in a few years, is this, are you retiring?”

V is quiet and she does her best not to look at him while he tries to choose his words.

“You really don’t have to answer, I won’t be offended, I know it can be a hard choice.”

“Was it for you?”

She laughs, a brittle sound that shatters on the walls. “I don’t think we can really compare, I didn’t really have a choice.”

“I hadn’t really thought about it,” he admits before she can go on, and she looks at him, tucking her hair behind her ear and smiles a little gratefully.  “I, there was an accident and I lost my sight for a while.”

“Oh,” she says softly and he feels her fingers brush against his hand on the sofa between them.  “I hadn’t heard.”

“I haven’t told anyone,” he whispers and the next time her fingers brush his palms he takes her hand in his, “just a few very close friends.  There was a surgery but there was a chance it wouldn’t work and I,” he inhales and squeezes her hand, “I’m not sure why I’m telling you, but I let myself wallow for probably too long.”

“But you decided to get the surgery?” She asks pressing her shoulder against his. 

He nods, “It didn’t return my vision entirely though, I wear contacts and glasses now.  I thought teaching may help me ease back into it, into taking photos again.”

It’s quiet for a moment before she speaks. “I did some stupid stuff after school, then I paid for a show out of pocket and lost that money and my loans were piling up,” she sighs, “I didn’t really have any options but to admit failure and start teaching.”

“I wouldn’t call it failure,” he says gathering both her hands together.

“No I suppose you’re right, I still paint but I don’t know, I got spoiled early on and I had high expectations and too much pride.  I still have too much pride I think.”

“I forget how easy it’s been for me,” he admits.

She laughs.  “It’s alright, you get one of us common folk around enough of you rich art family kids and we start to forget to think about money.  But that’s my cross to bear, what made you decide to do it?”

“Do it?” He asks forgetting momentarily what he’s confessed to a stranger.

“The surgery, what made you decide you wanted to see again?”

“Oh,” he drops her hands and she pulls her feet up under her on the couch, throwing one arm over the back and leaning closer to him.  “I suppose it may sound silly, but Saeran was a large part of it.  How much do you know about him?”

“I know what’s on his record, and he’s told me a little bit about the other stuff, I know he’s not supposed to talk about it, I don’t ask but it helps him to talk, I think, so I let him when he does.”

He reaches a hand out to brush her cheek, as if she can’t be real.  He didn’t know what she knew exactly, if she knew his involvement, but she seemed to have taken it in stride.  “Is that what you’re doing now?” he asks without thinking.

“What I’m doing now?” She echoes, her eyebrows knit together and she leans her cheek into his palm.

“Letting me talk, because you think it helps?”

She smiles, a pink blush spreading across her cheeks as a nervous laughs bubbles past her lips. “No, nothing like that, I think I’m actually being pretty selfish right now really.”

“Really?” He asks leaning closer to her, their foreheads almost touching. “What are you doing then?”

“In this moment, I’m really hoping that you’ll kiss me.”

*

She was late, it seemed to be becoming a habit.  She should have said no last night, she should have stayed home instead of going out with her TA and his boyfriend.  She should have bought groceries and gone home and ate a proper meal for once, not gone to a house party with a bunch of students.

But she’d promised Saeran she’d be his sober buddy.  He was so proud of his boyfriend that he wanted him to be able to celebrate the return of his 4.0 without feeling guilty.  The saving grace had been she got to meet him.

And then she’d taken him home, and they’d talked until much too late, about things much too deep for a first meeting that hadn’t even been a first date, and then they’d kissed and when they finally came up for air it had been much too late to send him home and they’d fallen asleep in their clothes while he played her his favorite song on his phone.

She vaguely remembered him kissing her forehead some time before her alarm went off, the sun was already up and birds chirped outside her window but she’d fallen back asleep.  She woke up the third time she hit snooze on her alarm, tucked neatly in, alone, and thirty minutes late.

“Ugh,” she groans.  Her hair is still wet from her world record speed-shower and she’s digging through the pile of clean laundry on her desk chair.  She fumbles with her bra, new and uncomfortable as it was she liked the way it made her look, and she still held out some hope she’d see him again.

“Why are you doing this to me?” she whines at the laundry pile when she can’t find the shirt she wants.

She could find a different one but it would bother her all day, where was the one she wanted?  She stands in the middle of her modest room half dressed in well worn skinny jeans and still no shirt frowning at her dirty laundry pile over-flowing the hamper.

A hand snakes around her waist and she yelps a little as it pulls her backwards, he groans dropping a kiss to the place where her neck meets her shoulder.

“Mmm,” he sighs, “I thought I had time to get us coffee before you woke up, I had no idea I’d be rewarded with this.”  He pulls her flush against him, his thumb hooked in the belt loop of her jeans the delicate fingers of his other hand splayed across her belly.

She should feel nervous, she thinks, or perhaps she should be angry that he hadn’t knocked, but something about him has been comfortable since the moment he’d opened the door of his car for her.  Like they’d been doing this forever instead a few hours.

“I have a class in 20 minutes.”

“Mmhmm,” he hums against her ear, “how can you teach art, when you are art?”

She snorts. “Wow, you were doing so well.”

He’s blushing from ear to ear when she turns to face him.  “That bad?  It’s been a while, can I use that excuse?”

She laughs and kisses the tip of his nose.  “I liked it, it’s cute.  I’m just late.”

He presses a kiss to her lips, he means for it to be quick but then her arms drape over his shoulders and he’s holding her hips against him as his tongue pushes past her lips and before they know it she’s clinging to him.  Her fingers tangled in his hair and his clumsy hands pawing at her hips.

“Mmm, no, I can’t fifteen minutes now,” but she doesn’t move to untangle herself from him.

“Don’t you have a TA with a key, can’t you be a little late?”

She presses her forehead to his, it would be so easy to text Saeran and ask him to unlock the classroom, to open the supply cabinet and just let everyone get right to work but then she remembers. “You mean the TA who knows you?” she smirks.  “The TA who definitely knows you drove me home last night?”

He groans.

“Don’t you have classes today?”

“In an hour,” he whispers against her neck.

He whimpers when she pulls her hands from his hair, but it’s quickly followed by a laugh when she throws open the closet door with a cheer. 

There are all of three things hanging in the closet, the rest of the space is filled by framed paintings in various sizes, not an inch of space is unused.  She snatches a bright teal blouse with white embroidery off of a hanger with a triumphant sound.

“Drunk Ayame must have put the last load of laundry away,” she smiles sheepishly and he whines when she pulls the shirt over her head.

He grabs her arms before she can pull it all the way down and she squeaks, caught with her arms and the shirt over her head. “Are you really sure you want to do that?” He smirks kissing her quickly through the fabric.

She pulls away playfully and finishes pulling the shirt down. “As difficult as it is to say no to you right now?”  She chuckles when he pouts.  “I really do have to get to my class, and,” she sing songs wrapping her arms around him, “as you pointed out last night I don’t even know your real name.”

“Oh, I suppose you’ve earned that,” he smirks and tries to sound suave but it’s somewhat diminished by the deep blush spreading across his cheeks. “It’s Jihyun.”

“Well, Jihyun, hand me that coffee you’ve brought me and walk me to class and I’ll let you take me out to dinner tonight.”

“That sounds like something I can do.”

[mikenips]

You Can Never Go Home Again

“Artur?”  Pop a different tape in the player.  I can’t even watch that tape yet.  And I didn’t even know the guy personally.  Just one of those figures you see walking around town.  The type of character you wanna ask all the questions to.  But also afraid to approach.  Our inspirations will always hurt us more than the people we know.

“Yes.”  The smashed beak of a nose gets you first.  He’s a quirky looking man.  Wears those big, goofy glasses nerds wear in your 1950s nostalgia.  “You say your making movie on Bart?”

“Yeah.”  My camera shakes as I get outta the car.  Nearly dropped the fuckin’ thing.  Quick shot of the puddle it would’ve sunk in.  Brown.  With a faded can of Miller High Life pacing back and forth with the breeze.  You can tell someone shotgunned it.  Wonder if it’s a remnant of Pharm House.  The rusted whip-its in the street aren’t.  See more of them on the streets of Hamtown than ants or rats.  “It’s for a class project at Wayne State.”

“Good school.”  He nods.  Pats the head of the dog in the backseat of his Jeep.  Crack swooping down the front driver’s side windshield.  “Come.  I show you house.”

The house is set far back on the yard.  Red siding giving it that farm look.  Probably was a house for farm animals or something.  Smaller than the rest of the homes on the block.  But also stands taller.  Gets higher than the rest of the block.  No matter how much weed Bart shared with the neighbors as they watched from the safety of the porch.  Staring at the graffiti covered tree.  “Bart was good kid.  Good tenant.  Always remind me to pick up rent.  You know.  I forget those things sometimes.  Spent many nights drinking with him.  He was always out and about.  Caught him buying coke from a bartender one time.  Tell him he shouldn’t do that.  He laughed.  Said he knew.  So I laugh.

“Shame when I tell him I had to evict him.  But he’s real smart.  He knew he was in the wrong.  Admitted it.  Left like he was supposed to.  Can even tell he tried fixing the damages.  I give him security deposit back.  For the effort.  Plus now I have this artifact.  I see kids, just like you, checking it out all the time.  I don’t know how they find it.  But they come to the house.

“See!”  He points to a dip in the lawn.  Patchy grass attempting to cover the dirt there before it.  “I talk to Bart after he leave.  Ask for stories.  Why these kids come to my house?  Just to look!  He give me tour.  Now I do the same for you.

“In Summer.  He throw a big barbeque.  Neighbors sit on their front porch and watch too.  They all spoke highly of him after he left.  It was for the homeless.  And the bands play right out here!  Crazy right?”

The banister of the porch is cracked.  My head plays the video from Shithole’s Facebook page.  Dooley attempting to hurtle the three foot tall plank of wood.  Catching his Croc on it.  Yanks it all down before landing on the rusty screws and splintering bark where the dip in the lawn would be.  Brad running up and stealing his sunglasses.  The pit swirls to the fuzzed out guitar still ripping through the chaos.  Dooley coming to his feet and hurling the bass at Brad.  Ripping the jack from the body.

And the whole time.  Barf stands quietly behind the mess.  That smile cuts through the grainy video from somebody who clearly owns an Android.  No shirt.  Fringe vest.  Jeans torn to shreds.  Camera around his neck.  Sipping on a bottle of champagne.  Standing next to his grandma.  Claps triumphantly over the crowd.  “Kids.  The bands play.  They run around.  Hit each other.  I see it sometimes at the shows here.  So interesting.  Not for me.  But fun to watch.”

“Yeah.”  I laugh a bit.  “We call that a mosh pit.  Let’s out all that aggression people tell you it’s not ok to let out.”

“Mosh pit…”  He stares at the patchy lawn.  “It did make pit alright.  But Bart always cut grass himself.  Sometimes I drive past and see him doing it.  No shirt.  Drinking Stroh’s.  Make me laugh everytime.”

Get on the porch.  As he unlocks the door my camera takes in the front window.  Backstage seats.  See an occasional face in the footage of the show.  Bits of shower curtain still stuck to the red siding from front lawn movie nights.  “It crazy.  Still feels weird coming in.  I always give Bart his privacy.  I don’t want to intrude on him.  But when I see house after.  Maybe I should have.  Damages everywhere.  Look here at steps.”

His arm sweeps in the direction of the stares.  But the camera continues to film the rest of the walls.  A mattress in the middle of the living room.  Chipped paint and random bits of tape still clinging by an inch to the drywall.  Wooden chairs around the feet imprints of a coffee table.  Instantly I can scrap book various images and videos to fill the rest of the now empty home.  Some characters in black and white.  Others pixelated and grainy.  In off hue colors.

Zoom in on the wooden landing below the staircase.  Slivers of empty space dart across the square panel.  Trying to find an escape from the pressure dropping on it.  “Not many know this story.  Very old story from Bart’s twenty first birthday.  He said he didn’t know many people then.  And nobody knows what the future will find worthy of keeping.  So not so many videos of that party.

“Bart says a friend of his.  Record producer that joined the Navy did it.  Bart says he looks around living room.  Everybody pointing and gasping at the stairs.  Bart standing just inches from landing.  Doesn’t see him jump.  Flies from second story to landing on Bart’s skateboard.  And he break the floor.  Looks at Bart laughing and says ‘at least the skateboard is in tact.’

“Back of house or upstairs first?”  Camera fixed on the floor’s POV of the second story.  You can tell he never swept his stairs.

“Well.  The upstairs was the main stage for shows.  Let’s get shots of the rest of the house first.  Capture the essence of the party before goin’ to the main attraction.”

“Sounds good.  I like that.  I went to house party one time.  A friend of Bart’s.  Bart always invite me over here.  But I can’t impose on him.  I don’t know if I would want to know what he was doing.  Ignorance is bliss.”

The hallway splits into three rooms.  Pan camera left.  Once I start editing gotta superimpose the Instagram photos of that sink filled with two empty thirty racks.  One of the few photos from the twenty first birthday party.  The cigarette butt that blew up the gas station.

Spin one eighty to the second bedroom.  Which was really more of a glorified closet.  The yellow page of a legal pad still taped to the doorway.  Bart’s handwriting all over it.  “See.  He catch me.  I never wrote in lease that he can’t smoke inside.  But at least he kept it in the spare bedroom.”

We walk through the door.  Blue carpet singed and stained with spray paint.  “I still remember seeing videos as a teenager.  Can barely make out all those artists and musicians sitting in this room through the smoke.  I can hear Dooley, while looking dead at the camera, ‘nicotine hot box!’  Yelling at someone to keep the window closed.”

Tilt from the carpet to the window.  “Very funny story.  I assume this Dooley did.  Bart said he walks in the room.  Can’t breathe.  Can’t see.  Claustrophobic.  Tries to open window.  And somebody slams it from his hand.  Tears the blinds off.  Everybody laughs.  Now.  Blinds don’t close.  That’s still the sheet Bart hangs up over the blinds to block window.  Always wonder why he didn’t buy new blinds instead.”

The peacock couch is long gone.  A thirty five dollar purchase Bart made while on acid thrifting in high school.  Great clip of Cole Sanders from the Turds sitting on the couch.  Paisley shirt and leather jacket.  Looks like he’s trying to sell molly to teenagers.  Smoking Spirits.  Talking about listening to new wave.  While Echo and the Bunnymen play in the background.  The seam of his pants splitting wide open.

Tucked in the closet are various paintings.  “Do you know where these are from Artur?”

“No.  I find them hanging throughout the house after Bart leave.  Just lost artworks.  Some collage.  Some photography.  Some paintings and drawings.  All different people I assume.”

Flip through them.  Some standard CCS bullshit.  Some pop art homages.  Recognize the outsider doodle.  An original Cole Sanders.  Got a few hanging up in the apartment.  Then I see it.  Propped by itself on the opposite corner of the wall.  A surrealist portrait.  Oil on canvas.  A puke puddle of tie dye morphing to the doorways and walls of a house.  The colors give way to textures of fur and skin.  Even a slight haze of smoke.  The blobs lava lamp in the familiar image of Bart.  Camera zooms in on the interpretation of the image shared on Facebook this morning.

I recognize the style from the walls of Jenkem.  The holy grail in the mythos of Barf’s scene.  The piece Tara painted of him.  Something along the lines of paying him back after a bender that whole group went on.  She offered to paint him a portrait.  But the piece was lost after Pharm House got busted.  You can see it in a handful of videos all the way back on some people’s Instagram highlights.  If you know whose account to stalk.  “Can I take this?”

“Go ahead.  They just sit anyways.  Come see the bathroom.”

The white tile wall is stained orange.  Strands of hair stuck to it.  Stuck to the tub.  Stuck to the floor.  Stuck to the wall behind the door.  How the fuck do you even get hair stuck there?  A nice gradient of the off white tub fades from two circles to pitch black.  Two feet protecting some bit of fake porcelain from the dirt that would pool up.  “You know.  When I get house back.  The drains are all plugged in the bathtub.  So I cut into wall.  Take out pipes.  Pumpkin seeds!  There are pumpkin seeds in the drain.  Causing it to clog.  How do pumpkin seeds get in the bathtub?  I never ask Bart that.”

“There was one show here.  A band performing smashed a pumpkin upstairs.  Must’ve just gotten stuck to his foot or something.  Just trying to wash it all away.  Flush everything down the drain.”

Zoom in down the moldy drain.  Cutting off the rust colored stain on the bathroom floor.  Don’t even need to explain what that’s from.  I don’t know.  It seemed artsy at the time.  Now it just seems so pretentious.  The whole fuckin’ tour of the house seems pretentious.  Who does shit like this?  Maybe that’s Barf’s biggest illusion.  Getting people to create their own illusion of a home.  When nothing at all ever actually happened there.  Just a guy living life.  Never cleaning the bathtub because “the bathtub cleans me.”

“So this is my favorite part.”  Artur’s teeth crack the seal of his lips.  With the smile of a proud father.

Turn the corner at the top of the stairs.  A quick shot out the window at the top.  A toilet when Barf was too spun to figure out how to use stairs to go back down.  The master bedroom takes up the whole second floor.  The main stage.  Most people said they didn’t even know Bart actually slept up there.  Thought the mattresses were just decorative soundproofing.  Maybe the whole house was just a decoration.  “What’s that gash in the wall?”

“Cymbal.  Bart says hi-hat.  From Navy man’s going away party.  He says they cover ‘Blew My Mind.’  I forget the singer.  Chaos ensues.  How the hi-hat got behind the drummer?  Beats me!”

The famous send off show for the king.  Shitholes’s drummer.  Devil’s Night.  Dooley tryin’ to do coke off the amp during the set.  But the room had too many bodies.  Too humid.  Dooley yellin’ “it’s not working!  Fuck!”

“But this my favorite.  Look up!”  Tilt the camera to the angled ceiling.  A purple splatter that runs the length of the wall.  “Bart tell me he stand in back watching band.  Guitar gets stuck in chandelier.  Again.  Beats me how Bart never broke the chandelier.  Somebody as you said ‘moshes’ and falls into Bart.  His forehead hit bottle and it spills everywhere.  Even on ceiling!”

“So why’s that your favorite part?”

Focus back on Artur; with the same proud father smile.  “It’s jezy!  Good Polish boy drinking Leroux.  He always stay true to heritage.  Even that bar he buys.  Classic bar here from his grandparents’s time.  He buy it and revamp it for new kids to come to Hamtown and celebrate history.”

“That’s perfect Artur.”  The camera drops to my side.  But always keep it rolling.  Even when you think you got enough.  You never know what you’ll pick up on.  A random splice of life.  An absurd image that you never thought would mean something to you.  Like a still shot of a clump of hair in the corner next to beer a splattered and blown bass amp.  Probably Dooley.  He was famous for that shit.  “If you don’t mind I’m gonna get a few shots of the house from the outside.  But you can lock up and go if you want.”

“Of course.  Film!  Film!  Capture every moment.  That is why I don’t fix house.  This is history.  Other people need to see what happened here.”

As Art’s car takes off a neighbor’s voice calls from the porch next door.  The POV spins rapidly to the old black man.  “Are you another one of those punks here to do something crazy?  I’ll have you know this is more than some party house.  This is our neighborhood.  Bart never would’ve let stuff like this happen here.”

“No sir.  I’m actually working on a student film about Bart.  What do you mean he wouldn’t let stuff like this happen?”

“Well.  Bart threw parties.  And a lotta times they got outta hand.  But that’s what your twenties should be about.  Having a good time with your friends while you can.  But as the parties got bigger, they turned into free for alls.  Bart was trying to showcase new artists.  And it spiraled into this mess from giving everybody a platform to letting anybody do shit.  And now all these young kids show up and try to recreate those moments without really understanding what was going on.  How old are you kid?”

“Twenty one.”

“Exactly.  You were too young when Bart lived here to see what he was actually doing.  Things got outta hand.  But he always picked up the empty cans.  And he always made sure we felt welcome and comfortable.  He would move cars so we could park in front of our own houses.  He would pass the joint.  Bring us food he made.  He was providing a neighborhood for everybody to join.  Not just throwing parties.”

“So you think he was doing something good for the city?”

“He gave young people a place to celebrate themselves.  He just got carried away with it all.  And I don’t think it was him.  I think it was you kids that just looked at it as all fun and games that ended up with him being hurt.”

[ddrkirbyisq]

Aaand we're back!  I was out all last week for a trip to Asia with my best friend and am finally posting about it now.  Since I've been back it's been a quite strange mix of fast and slow, with the days both rushing by quickly yet also seeming to drag on at times.  The flow of time has been really strange for me this week as I'm dealing with some jetlag and some of the strangest sleeping hours I've had in recent history (sleeping from 3-10....PM).  I've had some times when I crashed in the afternoon and set an alarm for one or a couple hours later, only to end up snoozing it a billion times.

I've got Friday off work this week, which is nice, though it also contributes to feeling that the flow of time is weird -- did a week really pass?  I've had what feels like some "extra days", especially after sleeping from 3-10PM and waking up and having so much extra time at night, yet somehow the week still passed by relatively quickly.  Thankfully, I've been able to start catching up on various things, such as putting away all of the things that I bought on the trip and even running some errands including a trip to the DMV (yay..........).  Physically I am still definitely recovering though -- I don't have the strongest constitution and the trip definitely got me a bit sick.

Anyways, enough about all that -- I know you're all here for the photos anyways!  This was a ~10-day trip to Asia, first stopping by Beijing where my friend was visiting family, and then to Tokyo where we met up and stayed with another friend (with a side trip to the Hakone area for hot springs).

I'll admit I'm not usually a huge photo-taker (anymore?) but I tried to be good about snapping some every so often.  Even if I don't actually end up looking at them later, I've found that they're at least good for showing to other people, and for recounting some various things that happened (e.g. for this post itself).  I took more photos than just the ones below, of course, but somehow I'm feeling like it's better to just post the more relevant ones rather than dump a whole bunch at you guys.  Well, let's get to it...

Beijing was like an weird mix of SF and Tokyo, though the smaller and more old-fashioned streets were a bit unique in their own.  Whenever I travel I'm always a little struck by how nice the trees and foliage are, I think it's because the areas I frequent here in California don't really have that much of that.

We saw some stray meowmies, and even got to pet and play with a meowmie at the tea house we went to, which was really nice :3

Sitting and having tea at the teahouse was a pretty cool experience, not really because the tea was amazing (though it was quite nice), but because of the atmosphere.  Time seemed to flow differently, I'm not so sure it was the place itself but more just the circumstances...It's almost never that I just sit around letting time pass by so freely without really a care as to what I need to do next.  Thinking about that was a bit elucidating for me, I think. Speaking of tea, I used to be super into white tea but currently am pretty into grain-based flavors, like genmaicha and barley or buckwheat tea.

The air quality was actually not too bad, or at least not bad enough to bother me noticeably, though of course I ended up getting a bit sick at some point over the course of the trip (not surprising really, but it wasn't terrible thankfully).  Around the airport area it was quite bad though, enough to bother me -- couldn't tell whether it was just that area or maybe just the construction they were doing in the airport itself.

The food we had was quite tasty!  The mapo tofu and other sichuan-style dishes were really yummy, and the pork belly + mustard greens were really great too, and of course the Peking duck.  It wasn't wholly different from Chinese food back here in CA though, so it's sort of nice knowing that I'm not really missing out on all too much when I'm at home either.

I'm not a huge fan of la zi ji (sichuan style spicy chicken -- which basically just looks like a plate of dried chili peppers), but gotta have it while I'm here right?  Definitely had a lot of sichuan peppercorn numbing flavor...

We spent a day walking around the Summer Palace, which is an imperial garden with a bunch of trees and lakes and really old buildings.  Some parts were nice, others were more crowded with tourists.

The weather was nice for the most part on our trip, but we got hit by one or two unexpected rainy days, which I definitely had not packed for.  Fortunately it worked out OK in terms of the timing and the weather at the Summer Palace was quite nice.

Lots of red and gold and green everywhere -- and all the ceilings had fancy designs like these.

Lots of water rock formations everywhere...

Some pretty flowers.

Some of them looked quite nice!

Lots of these long corridor-like walkways, too.

More flowers...

Gold-colored roofs...

Got to try some candied Bingtanghulu (candied hawthorn).

Lots of extra high bridges over the water too.

Suzhou street, a shopping street with river running through it.

Having some homemade zha jiang mian, a common beijing dish made of noodles topped with ground meat and fermented soybean paste, along with various veggies.

Cow followed us on the trip!  Was borrowing him from a friend to use as a pillow pet.

Of course Hello Kitty shows up in Asia all over the place.  Here she is as some sort of robot in the Beijing airport...

Sometimes the simple food is the best.  This bowl of porridge we got at the airport really hit the spot...

Finally off from Beijing and taking the air to fly to Tokyo!  I noticed that there were all these green-colored areas that we could see from the air, wondered what they were.  Maybe tarps to cover the dirt?

Cow~

It was cold and raining when we landed in Tokyo...luckily our friend was so gracious to meet us at the station with some umbrellas, and they also had a kotatsu at their place :O  We were really in their debt for much of the latter half of our trip...

Tsukemen dipping noodles!  We have them here in the states as well but I don't think I've ever gotten them before.

Putting Little Twin Stars on your product is a surefire way to get me to buy it.  These cookies were yummy~

We were in time to catch the tail end of the Sakuras blooming, though we had missed peak viewing time.  Still, it was nice to finally get to see these famous ephemeral flowers that is such a big deal in Japan's culture.

Potato corn dog!  It's like eating a corn dog and some french fries at the same time...definitely much better than your average corn dog.

While in Tokyo we mainly went around the Harajuku/Shibuya area, filled with a lot of shops and fashion establishments, both upscale malls and more hole-in-the wall places alike.  There were also a bunch of just...very interesting places, including this place with a whole bunch of bath bombs arranged in a mesmerizing display.  It really felt more like an art installation than anything else.  Lots of tourists and foreigners around these areas too, which is unsurprising.

One of the more fun things we got to do was go to Harry hedgehog cafe in Harajuku -- where you get to pet live hedgehogs!!!

They are apparently nocturnal, so a lot of them were kind of just sleeping or dozing around.  They just look like fat hairy blobs!

We had a more active one that we played with a lot.  Here it is drinking some water...they give you some little mealworms to feed to the hedgehogs too :3  So cute...

The other one was sort of just sleeping there for the most part...

You wear gloves to pick them up and play with them!  They were really fun <3

Some more of them just sleeping together in the corner.

Such good product marketing...we of course bought one of these little plushies to take home with us.

Here we are in the top floor of Kiddy Land -- a place I've been to all 3 times I've been to Japan now!  They've got the Sanrio/San-X goods on the top floor of Kiddy Land, as well as other various things on the other floors (Ghibli/Disney/Marvel/Peanuts)

We also got to check out the "Kawaii Monster Cafe", which definitely feels like something you wouldn't see anywhere other than Japan.  It was pretty interesting seeing this end of the broad "kawaii" spectrum.

Sort of a creepy + cute vibe all around.

The food was super interesting, especially this dish, which looks disgusting but actually tasted not too bad.  It was like a sort of beef curry with rice, and the pink frosting-looking thing is some cheese-based sauce.  The mysterious red candy balls are actually quail eggs!!!  Was so impressed by that...

I also got to try some monjayaki for the first time!  It's kind of like okonomiyaki, except with more of a watery broth, so it's more runny.  You spread the raw ingredients around on the grill and then pour in the broth, which sort of thickens as it heats up from the heat.  It ends up looking.......like barf, really.  Not the most appetizing thing, but tastes quite alright despite that, lol.

Some more close up photos of the sakura.

Now just imagine that all of them were still pink lol.

Apparently Sanrio was doing a collaboration with It's Demo, a sort of fashion/convenience store.  This is a beautiful Pochacco design!  The best I've ever seen out of this pup.  Real props to whoever did the designs for this.  It's super refreshing to see that this sort of aesthetic is still going strong over there in Japan, even though it has basically disappeared from the US -- you can only really find these things online now or maybe at Kinokuniya / Maido-type stores, and even then, you don't see such great stuff. Ah, really, that is one of the greatest things about being over there in Tokyo -- such great aesthetics.  So many pretty people and cute things, great designs and good fashion.  Definitely something I miss every time when I have to leave.

While we were in Hakone we took a side trip to the Petit Prince museum!

Some more sakura at the Little Prince museum.

They had lots of little quaint pretend building setups like this one.

Along with figures of the titular character.

Some japanese explanations of some things from the story.

The fox that the prince befriends by "taming".

A pretty cute place!  It was fun to go through, though also definitely made me a bit sad.

Last time we stayed at a ryokan we had traditional new year's food (Osechi ryori) which was....sort of weird.  This time we had more of a standard kaiseki dinner which was much more tasty!  Had so many different foods (more than what is in this photo, this is just the first set), including some really fatty steak, sushi, pickles and rice, sake, fish, miso soup with clams, soba noodles, tofu, and more.

Window leading out to the balcony of our room.

Private bath out on the balcony of our room, which had a view overlooking the river.  Of course, I couldn't really take a photo of the public baths for.....obvious reasons.

Same window, in daylight this time.

More awesome food, this time for breakfast.  Don't know if I've ever had such a fully-featured breakfast lol, goodness.  Had everything from soba, grilled fish, miso dengaku egglant, tamagoyaki, fruits, more rice and pickles, sushi, ...

Nice aesthetic in the other room...

We decided to write something sort of silly in the guestbook lol.

The rest of the Hakone area was very pretty, lots of river scenery with many trees growing all over the hillsides.

We even got to see a glimpse of Mt. Fuji in the distance while we were taking the train back to Tokyo (didn't notice until the group of westerners on the car all stood up and started snapping a whole bunch of photos omg)

Closer look at the Sanrio x It's Demo collaboration -- ended up going there and buying a keychain :)

Finally made it to Takeshita Dori, the sort of "main" fashion street in Harajuku!  It was WAY more crowded this time, dunno if it's just gotten more crowded over the years or maybe we had gone during a weekday last time (it was a Saturday this time).  It was packed with people but not actually too bad.  Many of the shops were super cramped (in terms of the amount of space there) though, nothing like the La Foret mall we had gone through which was more in the Shibuya direction.

Of course no visit to Harajuku is complete without some yummy crepes from one of the famous crepe places!  Mine had banana, nutella, and of course an exorbant amount of cream...

Made it to Sanrio Vivitix in Harajuku, which had quite a great amount of stuff that I ended up buying, including a bunch of Sanrio shirts/tops (!) and a whole bunch of really nice Cinnamoroll merchandise.  Yay Cinnamon!~

Put in all my votes for the Little Twin Stars!  Pom pom purin was actually the most popular character at this store -- kind of interesting to see him making such a comeback, as he was also featured in Sanrio Danshi (which I still have not finished watching lol).  Though it may also be because the Pom pom purin cafe is on the upper floor of the same building...

Here's the Pom pom purin cafe!  Didn't actually eat anything here unfortunately -- had other things I wanted to get to, and not the hugest fan of Pom pom purin, but he is definitely cute!

Looks really nice :)

Went back to Kiddy Land to see if there was any more stuff we wanted to get, haha.

Just look at these Cinnamoroll designs!!!  Gah!  Miyuki Okumura is the designer and character illustrator for Cinnamoroll and she really does a great job.  She is the designer for Wish Me Mell too!

More collaboration stuff -- this time Little Twin Stars x Gintama.

Eating some yummy sushi after another day of shopping!  Last time in Japan we had some amazing sushi at one of the big name places in Tsukiji fish market, but this time just had some at a place in Harajuku.  Like with Beijing, it's sort of nice knowing that the sushi over here in CA isn't super far off from what is in Tokyo.  Which is not to say that it wasn't good, of course :)

Yay shopping~

Had some very yummy fluffy pancakes as well before getting ready to leave :)

Some food from the grocery market too :)

The haul of all the stuff I got :D  Lots of clothes, including some interesting (and expensive!) stuff that I didn't expect to bring back, but am very glad I found -- I'm always craving more good Asian styles for my fashion, so I'm super happy to have brought back some nice clothing in my haul, since it's so hard (basically impossible) to find over here in the states.  Also a metric ton of stationery, a bunch of assorted cute things, a nice water bottle, and some other random odds and ends.  Success! Assorted thoughts on the trip overall... - Being in Tokyo was super nice.  I could never live in Asia I don't think, because of a lot of things, but there are things about Japan and Tokyo that I definitely appreciate a lot.  I already mentioned the aesthetic and good design sense, and of course public transit is awesome, but also just the efficiency of everything is great.  If I was there for too long I would probably just feel like a cog in a machine, but for a short bit it was certainly nice. - I did alright overall with nausea and airsickness...my flight over there was relatively fine, but I didn't end up catching any sleep on the way back, so I was pretty tired and fatigued, ugh. - Having an epipen on me definitely made me feel a lot safer about eating things.  I luckily didn't end up having to use it for anything -- caught quite a few things with disciplined awareness and care -- but it's something I definitely will always have for any future overseas trip. (not such a big deal for here in the states) - The experience involved quite a bit of ups and downs, but was smooth overall.  I got stressed out a few times though.  Nothing new really, just the same old types of things.  I don't think there is any way to really improve at it except by trying again and again, and perhaps sucking a bit less every time. - Came back from the trip overall with some assorted thoughts on people and life.  Nothing revolutionary, nothing mindblowing, just some refreshed perspective. - I actually got some nice chunks of work done on Rhythm Quest done during the flights and some of the downtime lol.  I guess I really do decompress by.....doing more work.....sigh. - Traveling with a wifi hotspot was infinitely easier than the past two trips where we traveled completely offline lol, especially when it came to trying to meet up with people who were also traveling, yeesh.  Traveling offline is definitely more than possible, but maybe there's not really a good reason to do it anymore. Since coming home I've been up to a variety of different things, including work, putting away all the stuff that I bought, reorganizing my wardrobe, running some various errands, One Hour Compo, playing Risk of Rain 2 (has been fun so far!), etc.  I also reorganized and revamped my soundfont collection and converted quite a bit of them into .wav files (much easier to work with) so it should be much easier to make SNES-styled music in the future -- I'd like to try to make an album like "SNESQUE" at some point.  Cooking at home again has been lovely, as well as simply just being home in general.  It was a good trip but I definitely was excited to be back.  This Saturday I'm hosting a little celebration for 30 -- side note, I went over to disable timeline posting only to find that it was already disabled since last year lol.  Should be fun! Until next time...

[romancevsreality-blog]

vanderpump rules, season five, episode eighteen: ARE WE DONE YET?

We’re finally back from New Orleans, where Tom and Jax are relaying all the information from the bachelor/ette party. Tom Sandoval is wearing a baseball cap and I want to burn it, it’s not a good look for him. But you know what was, apparently? Dressing up as a woman. Lisa comments that he made a very good-looking woman, and I guess that’s true depending on what your definition of “good looking” is. My definition of “good looking” is Tyra Banks in 1996, but whatever, Lisa. Boost Tom’s ego if you can. Meanwhile, Ariana and Scheana are just straight horrified about what happened with Katie and Tom at the bachelorette party - Ariana remains the voice of reason when she reminds us that choosing to bottle all of your issues usually ends with a nasty, foul, rotten bottle of problems.

Katie and Lisa are meeting, and I’m mostly distracted because Lisa’s holding the fluffiest dog I’ve ever seen in my life and I want nothing more than this dog at this moment. They’re preparing for the annual Sexy Unique Restaurant photoshoot, and the theme this year is “indulgence”, which isn’t a theme. Katie refuses to take any accountability for her actions in her and Tom’s argument because she’s a fucking adult, and maintains that Tom was the one fighting with everyone. Lisa’s nervous for the two of them because the wedding is just two weeks away and they’ve gotta lock this shit down. Let’s be real - these two need to postpone this wedding and go into therapy before they even start considering it, but Bravo production and their own personal vanity will never let that happen in a million years.

Kristen and Stassi go to lunch with their dogs, and Kristen teaches us all how to game the system and getting an emotional support dog. Kristen’s there to help Stassi write her OkCupid profile, which just proves she’s going down the wrong route from the get-go. Stassi, you’re famous. You have enough of a social media following to be on Raya, why aren’t you doing that? Or The League? Or Literally Anything Other Than OkCupid? Then again, I met my ex-boyfriend on OkCupid, so I can’t really talk. Stassi’s instructed to write something about herself other than “I’m on television,” and Kristen suggests “Brunch, dogs, wine, ranch.”

Because of course. Of course, ranch1.

Katie and Tom head over to Villa Rosa to meet with Queen Vanderpump, when suddenly a man in a tuxedo arrives to invite Lisa to be Katie and Tom’s wedding officiant. Aren’t they getting married in two weeks? Who waits this long to pick an officiant? Katie and Tom are awkwardly sheepish about it, and Lisa’s like, “yo - you guys couldn’t get through three days without fighting, how am I supposed to take you seriously?” You’re not, Lisa. She wants them to really consider if getting married is a good idea. Katie’s crying. They talk it out, but it’s mostly bullshit. Katie’s not even sure why they were fighting in New Orleans, and that’s critical - they’re clearly fundamentally not suited for each other to the point where they fight just to fight now. What I find particularly gross about this narrative 180 is that it almost normalizes the level of rancor Tom and Katie displayed toward one another for the bulk of this season. Is your relationship TERRIBLE? Are you and your partner verbally and emotionally abusing each other on a regular basis? If you just sit and have one little chat, it'll be all better in no time. It's that easy! I find it so distasteful.

The gang’s headed all down to the beach, and everyone’s ready for a beach day! Stassi and Scheana discuss Stassi’s date the previous night that she spent mostly making out, and her date tonight.2 Katie and Tom tell the gang about Lisa basically rejecting their request to officiate their wedding. The two of them have a cute cuddly moment on the beach and we’re expected to think everything’s okay with them. So after months of watching Tom and Katie fighting, being terrible to each other and generally showing viewers what not to do in a relationship, are we actually supposed to believe that one conversation with Lisa fixed everything? I understand it's a TV show and there has to be a storyline but shiiiiit, I kept rolling my eyes when they continuously referenced that magical conversation with Lisa fixing everything.

Lisa brings Ariana to meet her bedazzled horse, and Ariana is just… salivating. Even I’m jealous, and I’m allergic to horses. Lisa and Ariana wax poetic about their lives, and Ariana admits to not wanting children, something that horrifies Lisa. I don’t get this idea that some people have that one day you’re just going to wake up and want something you’ve never wanted before. Ariana’s not interested in marriage or babies - let her live.

Stassi wants to look skinny af on her blind date with a guy with “The Greatest Instagram Account [She’d] Ever Seen”3 and Kristen, looking the best she has this season, comes over to help. And by “help”, I mean shame Stassi into not wearing Spanx and helping her come up with a “kit” comprised of Adderall, Plan B, and condoms. Stassi looks great for her date, though.

Tom Sandoval, Best Friend Ever, is treating Jax, Tom Schwartz, and Peter all to spray tans. How kind of him, am I right? Tom and Katie finally had sex, and Jax is terrified of getting spray tanned, but not afraid of officiating Tom and Katie’s wedding. Considering Jax was at the very first wedding to ever exist in the world ever, I don’t see how this is a bad ide- wait. It’s Jax. It’s a terrible fucking idea.

Back over at Fig & Olive, Stassi’s met with David! They’re drinking Sancerre, which is shocking, because Stassi’s well established as a pinot grigio girl. It’s clear from the get-go they’re on different paths - he asks her if she’s interested in hiking, Stassi’s like “hell no,” (Point: Stassi). He works in technology solutions and wakes up at 7 AM daily, which has Stassi straight SHOOK. She doesn’t wake up before noon and she thinks that’s why she’s single. This guy is nice as hell, which is rare for Stassi. She’s mostly glad he’s not a murderer, but he’s still not murdery enough for her. I would watch a Stassi dating spinoff.

It’s the Sexy Unique Restaurant Photoshoot! Everyone’s getting dolled up as if doing a photoshoot half-naked is normal for a job to do! There’s a fake pig with an apple in its mouth and grapes! Tom Schwartz is there, and he doesn’t even WORK there. Tom Sandoval brought multiple outfits because he likes to be prepared. Tom Sandoval is literally my favorite person on earth. He can be dramatic and vain but also wonderful. The girls have to pose in front of the pig and Scheana pretends to have cake in her mouth.

Meanwhile, Stassi and Kristen are still pretending like they have a valid reason to be on this show by going to lunch, where Kristen is freaking out about the fake suckling pig she was sent a photo of by Scheana. It’s hilariously desperate. Stassi admits to not having chemistry with her date and wanting an older dude. I can get behind that - I’ve had a plethora of shitty dates. Kristen has a problem with Lisa Vanderpump sticking her nose into Katie’s business, but we’ve seen what Kristen can do when she sticks her nose where it doesn’t belong. Lisa’s better than you, Kristen, get over it.

This just makes it really apparent how much this show needs James and Lala, god damn it.

Lisa poses with the boys of Sexy Unique Restaurant Plus Tom for a photograph wearing a clip-on hair piece and looking like a sixteen-year-old girl going to homecoming. Meanwhile, Scheana and Katie are sitting outside talking, and Katie’s asking Scheana for advice re: rehearsal dinners and speeches and whatnot. Scheana feels left out and feels like she hasn’t been included in the wedding planning. Whatever. They’re all boarding the Titanic with Tom and Katie, one by one.

Ariana gets naked and covered in grapes with Tom Sandoval, and god damn, Ariana is gorgeous. Basically, each couple gets their time in the grapey sun - Tom and Katie, Ariana and Tom, Jax and Brittany. There’s some weird tension between Jax and Brittany because he won’t tell her she looks beautiful. They then basically try to do the Sexy Unique Restaurant version of The Last Supper. Why you even need a photoshoot, I don’t understand.

Oh, and then Lisa Vanderpump agrees to officiate Tom and Katie’s wedding.

Next Week: LALAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stassi poses nude. James is back too, barf, with his vocal fry girlfriend. Jax and Tom invite Tom Schwartz’s brother to the wedding? And we’re headed up for Tom and Katie’s nuptials.

See you soon for The Bachelor!

Stassi is right as hell when she says “I might as well be a basic bitch.” WHO CALLS RANCH A DESCRIPTIVE TERM? ↩︎

I love the shade to Scheana’s marriage that’s becoming a constant thing on this show. ↩︎

Is this a standard people are trying to achieve? ↩︎