#jenkem

[geographypolls]

[maggtgirl]

If you ever feel like a worthless little grunt remind yourself that there’s a timeline where you’re huffing your own shit… You’re doing just fine

[books-apples-socks]

you guys have to see this

[kfcmurderchxx]

[jeffalessandrelli]

Do you feel that words have become less valuable in the recent past? I was reading your book and you had a line that said “GQ pays $7,000 for a feature.” I was like, no one’s paying $7,000 for a feature these days.

I don’t think so. I think my answer is, it’d be absurd for me to be upset or concerned about it. Language is going to go whatever direction it wants to go in, regardless of how the fuck I feel about it, whether I think words are important or not.

That’s very Wittgenstein of you. [Laughs] True. Same with skateboarding. The kids are going to decide where skateboarding goes. I gave up giving a shit about that a long time ago too.

Reading and writing are a part of your education and open doors for you and make you smarter. So it would definitely make me sad if words were less valued. I’m more worried about the planet that the words are on. I mean, I don’t know if words are really going to make any difference if the planet’s not here in 20 years.

[funnyfollower]

Digital Jenkem

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

Thing that came to me even though I know nothing of Konrad: Konrad: *Receives vision of being brutally murdered by what appears to be a mutated to hell and back Sanguinius* Konrad: Huh so I'm going to die to- wait a minute, is that Sanguinius? Why does he look that? Is that one of his sons ...? No, no, too big to be that, what the fuck am I looking at..? Why does he have fangs the length of my forearm? And what- *Konrad, slowly realizing where he is* Konrad: ....I huffed too much sewer gas again didn't I...? The Nurgling, high as shit across from him: *Nods sagely*

[maliciousindungeon]

heres todays reminder to fallout fans that jet IS jenkem. a teenager synthesized poop fumes into meth and now everyone in the wasteland is addicted to an inhaler full of poop. some greasy little boy said "huff this fart for more AP" and post-nuclear-war american society went fucking crazy.

[wormsinfilm]

Worms in television: TV 8 Kids' Fun Festival [1996-2004]

Also known as Pink Morning Cartoon for the Youtube upload's title before the real title of the show was known, this animated short "Spring" aired on public access television, and features a variety of bugs, including this lovely worm at the end.

4/10, it may be winter as I type this, but for this worm, everything's coming up spring 👍

[indo-mie]

YESSS. also seconded on the homunculi’s brains are wired from ours. They can get high but they have higher tolerance, they don’t get nearly as much side effects, and they have lower addiction potential.

Also pls tell me that you think that Ling would have his own opium den in the palace

tbh imma be real tho, i think that ling/greedling would vape with ed, especially in a modern AU (bonus points if they’re in high school and they “ask to go to the bathroom” for vape breaks. They love those fun flavors!)

but tbh Devil’s Nest is a cesspool for people doing/trading/dealing hard drugs

greed, not so much, but greedling is a caffeine fiend and kept downing like 4-5 mugs of coffee a day. And he drinks a few energy drinks a day whenever he can

i made this joke on twitter and ppl didn’t find it funny but what’s greed’s favorite drug? ketaMINE (get it?)

greed’s theme song: https://youtu.be/VagZ2gFXXEg?si=f40CwJ56S0Q0p5CD

what drugs would greed partake in? tbh i think that greed is a cokehead

also i need to know if greedling specifically would vape

MODERN AU GREED DEFINITELY VAPES!!

Here is why I think this — Greed is greed. He doesn't deny himself any part of The Experience (whatever that may be) and that would extend to shit like this. However, I doubt addiction/dopamine work the same way for homunculi brains and I think while Greed has tried everything at least once, for some things he's satisfied with just the one time. Like heroin was the Big Thing in the 1910s so he may have dabbled a few times, but I doubt it was his favorite. It'd make sense too if, as an immortal being, he's done some stuff for the simple reason of "getting with the times."

Cocaine would make sense for Greed to partake in more often, but I think he can only be Okay on it if he's hanging out with other people (since the crashes are so bad). Heroin and opium also makes sense but these would skew more towards the "just doing it for the times" excuse. Nicotine and booze are obviously his cioice vices.

Greedling (greed possessing ling) is not allowed to do any of this, including smoking imo. This is not because Ling is worried about side effects (having an immortal, instant healing body takes that off the table) but moreso him being a control freak. He barely likes Greed walking without his input—the idea of Greed snorting, smoking, or injecting something that'll fuck with their shared brain space and senses??? Something that'll incapcitate them...? Big no-no. It's a good thing Greed values his possessions' comfort

[earlicking]

Angela White for Jenkem Mag with a brand new Sony VX1000 (2025)

[ratfuck]

they refused to give me the medical jenkem card despite my debilitating chronic masturbation

[tussive]

Elon was on that jenkem imo.

[sensoryloss]

I went to an upscale, wine-focused dinner restaurant pseudo-steakhouse a while back and thought I wasn’t going to be served due to my RIP EPSTEIN shirt and leopard print Sperry’s and refusing to order wine or steak. You ever wanna see a server’s energy shift just tell them that “water is fine” as they go over the wine list.

i would rather be homeless than perform like a monkey in a etiquette table fancy rich fancyness gross place 🤮

[gladiopsyop]

Is sitting on an Israeli soldiers face and blowing gas until they die of jenkem od antisemitic?

yes because that's gassing a Jew (holocaust reference)