#it wont help shit anyway
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i will forever think about this panel and how it shows usagi's character
#usagi yojimbo#HE JUST TRIES TO DO WHATS RIGHT....#i just feel this not only shows his humility but just how at his core he always does what he thinks is right. he does what is kind#over and over again usagi trusts people and in reality its not always that he is rewarded for being kind or trusting. but he does it anyway#over and over he trusts someone and gets stabbed in the back but he still trusts people#of course he still takes no shit and if someone wrongs him he wont trust them again but he still trusts strangers#he helps people he doesnt know#hes kind to people and really only responds rudely as retaliantion for bad or rude behaviour#and all in all he is just a person. he has his flaws but hes still kind.#blegh!
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As we start another season:
How to Spot Fake/Joke News Updates:
- if it's tweet, look at the @/username. 90% of the tweets that go around on here that say they're a film updates or news site have a normal user @ thats not associated with the actual site they're pretending to be.
- if it's a screenshot of a news site or other site/account, verify for yourself. (Especially if it's futoncritic, they don't actually delete posts. They just put a strike through and make another post)
- if you can't find a REPUTABLE (major publication or legit database) way to back up (significant) information , it most likely isn't real/true.
#i wont post anything that isnt legit#and if i do post something that im skeptical of#i will make it clear in my post that i am skeptical#if i dont post it#its probably not real#but you can send me an ask if youre not sure and i havent posted it because i do miss things sometimes#anyways between the shit thats happened with fake synopsis and the joke tweets that started over hiatus#i just figured lets make a post now and hopefully that'll help clear some of those up early?
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1 of (probably) 5 designs for postcards we will be selling for a benefit drive to help our local homeless survive the winter.
this benefit drive will likely be in person only, but if you would like to contribute you can do so by helping the next homeless person you see instead of walking past them
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check pinned post for commissions
#finished art#original#illustration#original art#the actual postcards wont have my signature but online people love stealing so#anyway help homeless people#sleeping out in the cold is unimaginably shit and dangerous
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Cannot overstated how gutting it feels to know how much of my life and charity has, in fact, gone to destroying the lives and personhood and ecosystem of Palestine while being told all my life that it was for the sake of MY people, that it was good, that Israel needs to exist. No it doesn't. It never did. Jerusalem is a holy site but it's not our site alone. For millenia 'israel' wasn’t supposed to be a place, it was supposed to be the people. I knew the Israeli government was held hostage by fascist ghouls, but I feel betrayed not knowing just how deep that bile runs.
But, well. Sitting here and being depressed about it won't help anything. I have no reason to support a country that does so many of the things to its native population that the US did to ours, that recreates so many of the actions that we promised would be 'never again', a country that was only ever an apartheid state at best. Healing the world is a core tenet and I intend to abide by it.
#spitblaze says things#i fuckin. sure hope i can anyway#its easy to be paralyzed and be all talk and no action#i. hope ive been uplifting voices and spreading the word enough#idk. theres always more i can do#im not writing this to be self aggrandizing or for glory or clout or w/e im just expressjng how i feel#knowing. every single fucking organization i have ever contributed to that claimed to help israel was only hurting palestine#idk man it kinda sucks knowing so much of what you were told was built on a foundation of fascist lies to start#but like i said! being said wont do shit#palestine
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ur art is crunchy /pos !!! how do you have the confidence to use stuff that isnt pencil and cant rlly be erased if mistakes are made?
make more mistakes
ACTUAL ANSWER BELOW because it got too long. oops lol
anyway. i wrote “DO IT ON PURPOSE” because when it comes to doing a whole drawing with ONLY a pen- you gotta force your brain get creative- at least practice. in other words- work with what you have. it’s basically like solving a problem every few seconds-
because sometimes my hand eye coordination glitches for a split second. or maybe my hand shook or maybe the line is actually shit looking. but instead of scrapping the thing entirely i gotta to try and make it work. ok so if my line looks like crap here maybe i can make it a Part of the drawing by making everything look messier. OR maybe i can even just. hide it!! by coloring a thicker line along it too!!
you can actually HIDE a LOT of mistakes with a pen without erasing anything. and sometimes the mistakes are part of the art- like when i see the most beautiful art online and i see an uncolored pixel. what matters is your final output not the things you cant change now or mean nothing in the big picture
honestly going from sketch to lines and rendering with a pen is about weight control (like with a pencil- sketching yk) and not beating yourself up. in order to gain the “confidence” you gotta absolutely ANNIHILATE the need for 200% perfection. because theres beauty in a mess.
anyway so. when you get the basic stuff down like “in order to to make less mistakes with pen stuff- make sure youre used to what youre drawing already!!!” or “draw/doodle stupid shit with your pen and make it (pen) a PART of you and not some scary beast (pen)
i think it all stems down to forgiving yourself and just having fun. having fun is always my motto. if you ever go “oh no i made a mistake!!!” imagine me yelling “WHO CAAARRESSS!!!!!!!! (#love #positive)” in your EAR
#deltarune#susie deltarune#myself#ask#susart#GAHH SORRY ITS SO LONG OR SOMETHING#we have chronic ‘if you ask any of us a question ill literally take 5 paragraphs to answer it bc idk detail and context or shit’#ok bye how this helps????#mintyblitz#i would include more of our pen stuff but idk whats worth showing lol#bc we sketch with pens a lot. actually fucking hate sketching with pencils sometimes because ughh#when youre studying fine arts and have 500 black drawings ???? um. yeah. no. i dont want to touch a pencil everr AGAIN!!!!#GOD GRAPHITE EVERYWHERE!!! on my shirt on my FACE!!!#of course we still do painting and drawings with pencils and then line them after#but if im gonna doodle?? yeah. pen#also not to be a pen apologist but when a sketchbook ages the pencils fade#but pens are fucking awesome because water and air wont let it fade away#we actually use waterproof BALLPOINT pens (our fountain pen oviously is not waterproof)#(Not aponsored but buy panda oens theyre so cheap and you can paint watercolor on them girls)#anyway so the worst our penned sketches get is like. a lottle bleeding but thats cool ask in a sketchbook#pencils?? gone. blank canvas.#pencils are great but i need people to understand how convenient oen is#also pen for filling in form?? but can be used to draw? versatile. she can do anything
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mr. hi
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku ishin#ryu ga gotoku 3#yakuza series#yakuza 3#like a dragon ishin#yoshitaka mine#toshizo hijikata#snap sketches#my wrist feels a lil better so of course i said 'i should devise a way to draw in a way that wont shatter my limbs'#i keep flip flopping with this goddamn pen i promise i just cant decide if i want translucent lines or not#when im trying to draw lighter it def helps but idk if i'd like how it'd look for comics#thats my main thing i feel like i need two different pens for comics and just drawings like these#IDK my main goal is to not put so much pressure on my hand since thats my biggest problem#i did p good in going light this time around but again idk how ima do for more 'focused' drawings#since this really was the truest form of sketch/doodle#idk. anyways ima go think of drawin a third comic to that masada| shit BYE
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so uhh i DID start writing again but this time its w my Riptide Cowboy Au Thats Also Just An Animorphs Au. here check out this very small bit of it. (under the cut is an OLD doodle page that i made based around this idea)
#ITS AN ANIMORPHS AU BABY AND THAT MEANS THAT THERES YEERKS BABY OOH YEAH#I LOVE YEERKS THEYRE JUST LITTLE SLUGS THAT CRAWL INTO YOUR BRAIN#im very happy w my descriptions in this lil snippet. i hope it comes across as scary as i wish it to be#im also still very happy w this doodle page. check out chip he has a pickaxe earring now#jay also comes from an airforce family. instead of RAFT its called CRAFT#yknow like air craft. teehee. also instead of the planet o MANA im thinkin o calling it either LIFE or STAMINA#yknow like how ina game u have ur health bar n mana bar n you get what i fuckin mean#OKAY AND ILL ALSO MAKE A CONFESSION. I HAVNT READ ANIMORPHS SINCE ELEMENTRY SCHOOL#IVE BEEN MEANING TO READ IT AGAIN. BUT IT STILL HAD SUCHAN IMPACT ON ME I THINK I REMEMBER ENOUGH#i wont be following any Exact canon of animorphs bc yknow what this is a different planet. or somethingm#yes i DO plan on giving the trio the power to morph#and yes i DO plan on making C.R.A.F.T entirely infiltrated by yeerks. jays dad is especially taken already#ayvas also been taken for a very very long time. even before she died#im thinking edyn in this au would also be taken. teehehee. her and her yeerk work together tho maybe#OOH lizzie is out there also. running w a big n awesome caravan of bandits. caspian is an alien but im not sure what kind yet#yknow whjat i could inject whatever wacky alien shit i want in this au. my world. my world. my world.#anyway if u feed me ideas i might eat them. i might eat them. i feel so fuckin possessed tofay#EVERYTHING IS SO DARK HEEEEEL[P!!! HELP MEEE!!! HEEEEELLP!!!!!!!!!
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I just need to rant for a second :)
Screaming into the void please dont judge me
#that feeling when you and the person you live with have to move out of two rooms of your flat because the flooring had to be done there#and your girlfriend just. doesnt. do. anything. unless you strongarm her into it at which point she snaps at you and treats you#like you are unreasonable for not letting her just sit there and ply video games while you do all the work#eventhough its her fault that we didnt even have a full week to prepare for it because she just took the fastest possible appointment for it#when they called her to do the appointment#also sitting there like 'it will be fine we can do it in time' yea no shit because i am actually doing all the fucking work#its not like i usually do almost all the chores anyways#i ask her to help me move her pottet plants she is just like 'no. not because i dont want to help but because i dont want to move them'#why does she have to act as if she is doing me a fucking favour when putting away her own stuff that she never cleans up otherwise anyways#i am tired#like great. let me just do all of the work and then get angry at me when i ask you when you will be able to cook after taking 'me time'#because i have to clean out the kitchen but you thought it was a good idea to bring meat that has to be cooked today#because from tomorrow on we wont have a kitchen for 7 days#but then you definetly wont do the dishes after cooking which means ill have to do it#ontop of all the other stuff#idk im just annoyed#incredibly annoyed
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i could draw anything but i decided to draw this. carlo and rocco in 1932 aka my headache
#^ this isnt real ofc but its what happening inside their heads (well in carlo's at least)#mfs when their old friend doesn't break under manipulation#“Lift up the receiver I'll make you a believer” punching the wall with fist#rocco was the underboss not eddie can u hear me!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!! (capo henry situation in terms of complexity)#no m2 did smth to my brain and now im incapable of writing normal relationship between people#anyway. things that makes sense only to me rn unfortunately:#“AND YET ALAS I WELCOME YOU KNOWING ABOUT YOU” its carlo @ rocco but works both ways i think. RAHHHHHHHHH#YET YOU THINK WE'RE THE SAME RAHHHHHHHHH#youre not who u are to anyone these days im not who i am to anyone no not me at all these days not at all RAHHHHHHHHH#carlo who was afraid of rocco (for a reason) when he started to run the family rahhhhhhhhh#“That son of a bitch!.. I fuckin’ knew it!” <-watch me put a lot more meaning into a phrase that shouldn't make so much sense#2kczech need to pay me for developing rocco's character btw if u even care . and for writing this fucking falcone family backstory#“Холодный и острый осколок гранита; Смерть Голиафа в руке Давида”#<- “A cold and sharp shard of granite; Goliath's death in David's hand”#i've listened to this song too much it became certifed rocco song to me#let's say rocco helped carlo a lot w preparing moretti family for a new don. just bc i don't think it was this simple#“your capo killed your don lets all pretend that its cool and normal and it doesn't matter that he ran the family for 23 years😋😘”#avart#m2#i wont tag this w fandom tags dear god this shit is so delusional#dear god rocco been a gap and a blank spot in this story for so long but now i genuinely like him#tho i'm still not done with his character yet but there's enough for me to like him#sorry. not normal bout them. not at all .#rocco & carlo
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Thihihi I feel so good
#my fucking heart is racing. there is nothing to race about.#my fucking ribs hurt.#my legs hurt.#and i didnt do anything for school and i didnt do anything all ina ll today#and i mught write a test tmr#aaand a vocabulary test + i didnt do homework although my teacher specifically said to do more homework#and i cant fucking have my mind u distracted :)#so i cant learn what doesnt really help with making me feel better#i just really dont want to go to school tmr#but i have art and art with my friends tmr#and i really wanna do that tmr#i feel my fucking heart pounding in my whole body#and i do wanna sleep now but i cant bc school shit but i wont do that anyway#shits fucking stressing me out#and i cant fucking tell my teacher why i didnt do my homework bc as soon as i talk about how i feel i get wobbly#but i dont do my homework hes gonna write my parents which deeefo wouldnt help either#bc all they would do is restrict my phone and ipad even more and i really do need my distraction#haha :3
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all i'm gonna say about that red vs blue finale for now is i can't believe it fucking erased everything that happened past basically season 13 😐 no offense but why did i watch 6 more seasons after that if that's all that was going to happen. red vs blue, why did you let me get invested in that. frankly they were the worst 6 seasons anyway.
#rvb spoilers#sigggghhhh and no im not just saying this because grimmons didn't become canon lol BUT THAT DIDNT HELP#god damn. i would have been ok too with seasons 14-19 if they had had a good conclusion to it. but they basically said#oh yeah the final seasons of our show? none of that shit mattered lolololol. get fucked#and the worst part is...... i hate to say it but that was so red vs blue of them. frankly i should have expected this. GOD DAMN IT#anyway restoration had some really incredible fantastic moments i wont lie. i need to watch it again to collect my thoughts. but. dude...#rvb#red vs blue
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Hi hello!!! Sorry for the lack of posts recently, I've just been dealing with some pretty bad depression
And uhhh! I am currently unable to afford meds rn so I'm just gonna...
points at my $5 headshot commissions again
and even link my cashapp. Only $3 extra for a tiny on your shoulder now for my commissions! No charge for having a big hand patting your head or something cause it's actually easier to add than a tiny for me lol
https://ko-fi.com/mocha_latte/commissions
https://cash.app/$Astakoi
So uh.. if any of you want anything/just want to help me out, yeah I'd appreciate it a bunch!
Gonna try to get back into posting more art :> and do a few artfight things before the month ends
#hate to promo commissions or even ask for anything but uh... i am not super good without my meds and will not be paid until august 5th#some irl issues (one being my health lmao) + needing gas has me very broke rn though#commissions#donations#self promo#g/t#giant/tiny#g/t community#<- i still love drawing g/t stuff!#ooo i should draw tiny honkai star rail stuff-#anyway please feel free to commission g/t stuff! idm throwing a hand in the headshot somewhere or something to show size difference#wont get into detail on irl stuff so i understand if you guys dont want to donate anything!! and if you cant commission reblogging helps#not forced though#i do hate guilt trips a lot so im not gonna do that shit#my situation isnt life or death... worst comes to worst ill just get my meds when paid!#oh also going through some gender crisis stuff lol#anyway lol sorry for the tag ramble these posts make me nervous
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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halfway thru my first drivers ed session. idk if i can do this aftually lol
#purrs#there’s like 30+ ppl in the class and most of them are high schoolers who already have like at least 20-30 hrs and i have 3. also the#instructor is really nice and means well but she is also a little clueless and she embarrassed me in front of everyone (or maybe i#embarrassed myself) bc she had us all introduce ourselves and say what we like to do and i said play video games and she was like oh are you#a bit of a gamer 👀 have you been to any of those conventions. LIKE 💀😭 NO I JUST PLAY SILLY LITTLE PET GAMES…..#but ajyways um. i don’t have enough driving experience to start behind the wheel lessons yet 💀💀💀💀💀 and we r watching videos rn and it’s so s#scary like istill have such trouble even maneuvering the car around how am isupposed to develop situational awareness and be driving on high#hihways and shit. this is so overwhelming. it’s like ‘every moment ur behind the wheel u and the ppl around u are at risk’ well idont want t#to be at risk or risk others lives. but also i need to move out. help 💔💖#anyways this class has INSANELY long breaks (like 15+ mins thank god) and we might be able to end early every day too so. fingers crossed it#wont be that bad and i’ll actually retain stuff and learn to drive fucking finally. but im so scared#also on thursday we are watching a video depicting a graphic c*r cr*sh so. that’s just fucking great#drivers ed tag
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I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually
#like its so cute honestly but sometimes i wonder how hard it would actually be to like find the right color match#maybe one day... but for now probably expect oc art with this trend in it maybe 💀#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya#oh nvm i googled. it exists i just dont pay attention ig#OH you know what i can do... i can paint pepperonis eye color on my nails.... my baby... my kitty......#dude it feels like 5 am why is it only 2#amyways. 4 monsters was a big mistake i think... i feel quite icky...#it doesnt help i didnt eat for a majority of the day it was just monster. im really unhealthy. need water maybe#wait i was talking about nail polish how did i get here#i just want to actually do cute couple things. i must heal. im gonna be so healthy.#its fine. lmao. i just know im not ready#oh i did eat btw dont worry lmao i had. chicken nuggets#i actually have to eat more bc i need to gain back some weight or they wont let me donate plasma#my extra pokemon money..... nawr...#i dropped like 10 pounds. my current job is very physical. lots of scuttling around.#i thought about working out too? i had a short phase last year in like spring or something where i started doing workout type stuff#so like.. maybe. probably should. healtly mindset shit yk#i also maybe want some more clothes. like update my wardrobe a bit. really figure out my style.#like some cool shirts and maybe pants. cause i wear a lot of the same stuff#also again. dropped weight so. need better fitting pants.....#i want more mens pants. big pockets... gender....#anyways. nice chatting with you besties. love you guys my silly little tumblr besties.#some of you that follow this sideblog have supported me on here for a while. i see you. i appreciate you. thank you 💖#genuinely there are names that pop up and im like !! hello!!! its you!!!!!#you guys probably know who you are. go get yourself a little treat you deserve it. or like. idk what you enjoy.#play a good game. watch your favorite show. idk. be happy. love yourself.#this also goes out to those of you who are more passive on my blog. i appreciate you too!! thank you!#all my little tumblr followers.... my besties..... unles you are a bot i havent cleared out lmao#k i might have to go to bed idk im tired well see
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Your impulse to believe every last bad thing people say about a guy and then if that guy is victimized by those people or the people who spread the rumors you dont even try to look into if thats even the case, you just assume hes bad by default-- yeah thats incredibly unfair to guys who are victims of abuse.
#so here i am having to heal my trauma on my own bc people think im a bad person. cool.#and then people would use me as an argument point 'this is why men who use guys who are victims of abuse as an argument need#to actually do something to show they care' she said so smugly. knowing those guys wont give that guy any care no matter how#correct she is about sussing them out on their bullshit.#so instead im being given 0 options at all bc both men and women want to use me as an argument jumping off point rather than see#me as a real human right here right now whos suffering and in need of aid.#you're arguing about giving me a place to stay right in front of me. and at the end of the day neither of you actually want to help#create a space for me to heal anyways. im just another talking point to you. left in the dust. left to try to figure out how to heal#myself alone all over again. something I never expected to have to do in feminist spaces- spaces I intentionally entered to get healing#about ANOTHER abuse that happened to be as a kid- though if im honest I never really found healing in such spaces its all kinda just#hating on men for the most part- so truly like the rest of my entire shit life i've had to learn how to heal my trauma all alone. which isn#great nor ideal since on my own im bound to pick up worse coping mechanisms than if I actually got help from others. and lord knows#I have *motions to the scars on my arms* but yknow you'd rather use me as a talking point rather than be what I thought you were-#the last resort I had to maybe actually finally get some actual fucking help with my trauma.#vent#to say im disappointed is an understatement. i'm more just sad at this point. i'm tired of being promised better and then its shit.
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