#it’s SO fun and also rewarding :) no more void backgrounds for me

[stellomiacis]

May I offer you some of my ocs in these trying times

[artisanoftheredscience]

Incident Reports From An Unidentified Revolutionary

@fallenlondonficswap @the-avaricious-meddler

Hi Void! I'm the person who got you for the Secret Swap! I had a lot of fun with this prompt, so I hope you enjoy the fic! :) I've also posted it to A03, which you can find here. The fic will be under the cut. Enjoy!

Prompts Used: The Masters, Revolutionaries, Light Fingers related content, Games

Incident Report for March 18XX 

Writing this from an undisclosed location. Please destroy your copy of this once you’ve read it. Can’t afford to blow my cover. 

I’ve ingratiated myself into a Ministry’s internal affairs department. I won’t say which, for security reasons, but let’s say that it has provided me with much closer access to the Bazaar. I hope to study their movements and provide clearer information about the suspected activities of MF.  MF’s sudden interest in certain industries must mean something, though as of yet I cannot determine what. I am under the impression this may be an attempt to encroach on MSP’s territory- infighting, perhaps?  Given that MF and MSP have not been outwardly hostile before, I can only imagine there is more going on there. 

Infighting could be good for the cause, but I worry too much will destabilise London before we are ready to deal with the consequences. Total liberation cannot be achieved if half the city is obliterated by a tyrant’s temper tantrum. Again. Back to the usual reporting- today under the guise of delivering permits, I snuck into the back of one of MF’s processing plants and witnessed an unusual altercation. MP had apparently been visiting; abnormal behaviour, as MF and MP are not allies as far as we are aware. We may need to look into that- I will see if some recent censorship has MF’s grubby fingerprints on it. The Ministry of Public Decency has been used for governmental overreach by other Masters before. Perhaps MF needed something covered up. Then again, no such conversation was had. It was mostly pointless, unnecessary bickering. Perhaps the two have some dispute. I will have to ask those who keep a closer eye on MP if it has been acting strangely lately. Perhaps something to do with the printing presses? They are technically machines- MF may have some claim, whether real or imagined. That could be an interesting angle to work if we wanted to pit them against one another. 

Regardless, the conversation was mostly whispered, so I did not get a clear picture of what exactly they were arguing about. I have a feeling it may come in handy to get a better idea later.  I will have to ask around and see what I can find. 

I will report with more information later. For now, au revoir. May the month serve you well. 

Collected Notes on The Frigid-Hearted Professor

I have been hearing reports through a mutual associate that there has been reported engagement between MW and The Frigid-Hearted Professor (henceforth abbreviated Professor FH). Professor FH is not usually the type to become involved in any of MW’s ventures, which is why this stood out to me. 

His history is much easier to find than I would have expected. Respectable background, sudden and intense fall from grace alongside the fall from the Surface, a rocky history, a brief period of something resembling a normal life, and then he completely fell off the map. It’s a tale as old as time, down here. The Neath takes as much as it gives. In this case, it has definitely given more than it has taken. I will admit I feel a bit sorry for the poor fellow. I cannot imagine the isolation is doing him any favours. Well, I would feel sorry for him. He has been, according to various sources, buying up a great deal of Black Wing Absinthe. Which is likely not a good sign. I am not as familiar with the stuff, but I have a contact who has dealt with past Vake Hunters. They are… not the easiest people to get along with. Something about that one specific bounty drives people to lengths most would consider untenable. The reward money is a great deal of money, enough for most people to live comfortably for the rest of their lives, and for future generations to do so as well.  Still, I don’t think I believe that is what is drawing Professor FH to this particular hunt. From what little I’ve learned about him, I don’t think money is a particularly strong motivator. I mean, he lives in the Marshes. I can think of few places worse to live in than those awful, awful marshes. 

I digress. When I discovered the issue of the Black Wing Absinthe, I presumed that MW had been keeping an eye on his purchases and was perhaps monitoring the situation itself. Which would be unusual, but alcohol of all kinds does fall under its domain. Perhaps MW suspects some sort of illegal smuggling? Given Professor FH’s history of (admittedly petty) crime, that is not entirely unlikely, though I doubt it would have been enough to warrant such personal attention. MW is not the kind of Master to do its own work. It has servants for that. 

Perhaps some other plot of its has Professor FH as a key element? Who knows. It may very well simply have hired him for some sort of work. It would not be the first time for such things. Either way, I suggest we keep an eye on their interactions until we can know for certain. Whatever Professor FH and MW are getting up to, it could be troublesome. I would not like to have to work around the two of them if they were in league with one another. 

Either way, however, there’s nothing much I can do for now. I will send a follow-up if I learn more. May the month serve you well. 

Incident Report for May 18XX

I’m sending this letter more as a warning than a formal report. Please follow standard protocol with this missive once you’ve read it. 

MW and MSP are fighting again. It appears to be more viscous than their usual fare, which leads me to believe it will begin to bleed out across several areas of London. Commerce, at the very least, will likely be tense for some time. I’d also suggest informing any operatives working closely under/around either to take caution. Now seems like a very good time to get one’s head severed from their body for minor offences. MW and MSP were spotted in a small stretch of processing facilities in Spite; I believe there was disputed Ministry territory nearby, and they had come to sort something out, only to end up in a conflict. They left the area rather disturbed- I believe that factory will remain abandoned for some time. 

I managed to get close enough to record their conversation. Below is a transcription of their conversation. Read at your own risk. 

MW: We think you are being purposefully obstinate to get a rise out of Us, and We will not be falling for the bait. We have better things to do than feed into your delusions. MSP: I’m the delusional one? Me? You must have hit the bottle too hard today. I am being perfectly rational in my demands. 

MW: We will concede nothing! You have not won. You are the one insisting that We give up something that is rightfully Ours. 

MSP: You are such a sore loser. One would think with how often one has lost in all things, that you would have gotten used to it by now. MW: We are- no. We have already said our piece. You are pressing your luck. You always do this! You always insist on being covetous- first with your encroachment on our territory, and now with this petty dispute of yours. It is a bad look on you. MSP: You are just too frightened of facing the consequences of your own failings. I suppose I cannot have expected better from you of all people. Your own failings got you stuck down here, and you’d rather play at being allies than actually-

MW; We are done with this conversation! We have nothing else to say to the likes of you. If you wish to whine some more, we suggest finding someone who will care to listen, because it will not be us. 

MSP: You are running away with your tail between your legs! Again! Upset because I am right-

MW: Good day!

After this exchange, MW stormed off and MSP began to look a little twitchy, so I made the decision to get out of the building before it started on a rampage of its own. As you can see, something has definitely happened between the two of them. I am unsure as to what, but it spells terrible things for London’s immediate safety. I will report back with more information once I’ve determined what has caused such intense conflict.

May the month serve you well. 

Compiled Notes on The Avaricious Meddler 

Recently I’ve received reports of rumours involving supposed fighting between The Avaricious Meddler (henceforth abbreviated AM) and MF. This intrigued me, so I have decided to do some digging into the matter.

The first thing I ought to note is that it is extraordinarily hard to pin down a consistent history for AM. Frankly, I could not even tell you how old they are. It does not help that AM has a decent enough cover-identity that discovering what they are up to at any given moment is near impossible. Though, I do find that particular skill of theirs highly intriguing. Would that half the people I know were so good at blending in. We’d lose far less operatives, surely. 

Regardless, what I can tell you is that they appear to be causing MF a world of trouble. I have never seen MF so obviously irritated. Well, more so than usual. MF is always irritated. I cannot speak to what AM is doing to cause this- I have noticed one of MF’s usual henchmen, whose name I dread even abbreviating in case it summons him like an evil spirit, has been suspiciously active. Not in his usual ways- activity at the Docks has slowed down considerably. No, something else is going on there. I would bet both my arms that it has to do with AM’s sudden uptick in activity. Perhaps AM has stolen something? Foiled some plan? Skipped out on coal taxes one time too many? I will have to ask around some.

Perhaps I will ask around the University. There has been some kind of hubbub in those circles as of late. I cannot say for sure any of these facts are connected, but one never knows? In this line of work, I’d not rule anything out. 

And until I get confirmation on just what AM is planning, I will have to discreetly keep an eye out for them. I wonder if I can get into some of their usual haunts. I’m not one for the rooftops myself, but they have been spotted around Urchins a number of times. Maybe one of them will speak to me. That is all I have to share for now. May the month serve you well. 

Incident Report for June, 18XX

I witnessed today an encounter between MH and MV that may be another sign of the increased infighting between the various parties in London. 

MH and MV are not a pair I usually see in my observations. MH is not the most sociable of them, from what I have gathered, or at the very least keeps odd hours, and MV is volatile enough that most of the others avoid it. And yet there they were, outside a set of factories in Spite, conversing. If I did not see it with my own two eyes I would not have believed it. 

I immediately set myself up to continue observing. In Spite, pretending to be engrossed in the fabric market is an excellent way to keep oneself faded into the background. I did end up having to buy several yards of cheap linen, but it was worth it to get a sense of what they were talking about.

It seemed to be a rather heated argument of some kind. I couldn’t get enough of it to compile a transcript- MV speaks rather low at times- but the gist of it seemed to be about a debt to be repaid. Perhaps those rumours of MV’s struggling factories were not too far off. I ought to look into it. Another project for the list. Whatever the case may be, the reminder seemed to upset MV, worse than usual. MH was as jovial as ever, perhaps moreso. It must be owed a great deal. Or it delights in causing its companion grief. 

It said something further to its companion, and this seemed to be some sort of tipping point. MV got in extraordinarily close, and then it appeared to bite MH.  Admittedly I nearly blew my cover out of shock. I know that MV has never been the most sociable of the Bazaar, but I never in my life would have expected to see it bite another of its fold in public. It must be under a special sort of duress. 

Whatever this debt of its is, it must be causing a great deal of trouble. Perhaps we can use this. I will endeavour to find out what is going on so that we might use it to further our own goals. Until then, may the Month serve you well.

Incident Report for July, 18XX

I am going to quit this life and flee back to the Surface to raise goats in some far-flung mountain. 

I have been investigating the aforementioned incidents that have been plaguing London as of late. It’s tedious, stressful work, wading through records about trade and any odd rumours about their activities. It’s been a lot of work, but I hadn’t made much progress. Until today. I met up with someone who works rather closely with one of the Masters. They’re by no means a confidante, but they hear much more than the average Londoner. I chanced asking them about my research, and they looked rather tired for a moment. They then proceeded to explain that for the past several months, the Masters have all been at one another’s throats over a disagreement. I asked what kind, and after a long period of silence they explained that the Masters had, in a moment of unexpected levity, deigned to play a game of cards together. This had, apparently, gone horribly. As in, broken furniture, bones, and alliances horribly. Some of them are still not even speaking to each other. Every Ministry has felt the effects of their terrible moods. 

Hearing this admittedly made me want to slam my head through the table. Which means all of this infighting, all of these strange shadowy movements, all of the anxiety I have experienced in the past few months, all of it was because of a game of cards!? And not even one of the important ones!?

What a waste of time. Well, at least now we know what has been happening. Perhaps they will get over this petty squabble soon. Perhaps something new will have them all taking sides again, and the cycle will keep continuing until the next city falls on our heads. It doesn’t matter. All we can be sure of is that they will continue to be a problem until our plans succeed. 

I don't even know who will read this. My lines have been dead for weeks. I may be the only one left in this circle. No matter. I will keep doing my job. I will keep my eyes on the shadowed movements of our oppressive tyrants and my fingers in every plot to thwart them. For all of London’s sake, the show must go on. May the month serve you well. 

[the-modernmary]

my best habit || aaron hotchner x reader (ch. 4)

Chapter summary: The BAU makes it's plan to get inside your law firm, and you reflect on your previous relationship with Aaron — the good and the bad.

A/N: i'm baaaaack! this is a little bit of a filler with a hell of a lot of introspection + background on the past relationship with hotch

masterlist || read on ao3

'Cause the love that you gave that we made

Wasn't able to make it enough for you

To be open wide, no

-Alanis Morissette, “You Oughta Know”

~~~~~~~

The plan was simple enough. They had a warrant to bug the office, but lawyers are naturally suspicious, so they needed somebody who already had a rapport with partners to place the bugs. That’s where you came in. They were going to give you pens and other random office supplies with covert listening devices in them, and you just needed to leave them around. You were also going to wear an earpiece so that they could talk you through it every step of the way. Easy enough.

Aaron stood at the front of the room, his hands resting on his hips and his face stone cold. You had seen Aaron on television a few times when he had to speak to the media, but that was the extent of your knowledge of his FBI persona. You had never given much thought to his work life, and the only times he even talked about it was in passing. Watching him completely command the attention of the room was really a site to behold. Suddenly, you understood all of Aaron’s career changes and his unbridled ambition- he was made to be FBI Director.

You nodded slowly as you listened to their plans, trying to ignore the side of your brain that was screaming danger. You looked over at Aaron, hoping that he would understand your unspoken question and would give you an honest answer. When he met your eyes, he gave you a subtle nod, as if to say You’ll be fine, we’ll be right there with you. That was the only confirmation you really needed. Aaron looked so confident that it was almost infectious. Besides, a dead civilian wouldn’t look very good on Aaron’s FBI record, so you had to believe that it really was going to be that simple.

You took a deep breath. “Okay, I can do all that. I’m scheduled to go in this afternoon,” you told the room, avoiding everybody else’s eyes on you. You could tell that some of them weren’t totally sold on the idea yet.

“Good, that gives us just enough time to get everything set up. I want you all to go over the office blueprints with Y/N and set up a concrete plan. I don’t want anything left up to chance. While you do that, I will head down to intelligence with Garcia so that we can grab the coverts and prepare them,” Aaron said firmly, and you found yourself nodding along, as if you were a member of his team.

The way he gave orders was almost hypnotic because it was so different from the way he gave orders during sex. When he was with you, there was always a hint of affection and reverence in every word he said. Here and talking to his coworkers, it was almost paternal, like he was assigning weekly chores. You were getting a more full picture of who Aaron Hotchner was, and it was exciting, if not a little overwhelming.

You were torn from your thoughts at the sound of ruffling papers as Reid spread out the floor plans to the office across the table. The next hour and a half was spent going back and forth with the group of profilers to see what the best course of action was. You let them take the lead considering you had zero experience in this particular field, but you were pleasantly surprised when they asked for your opinions, asking you whether or not anybody ever went in certain areas in the building. Working with them was easy, even with David Rossi clearly psychoanalyzing every move you made, probably trying to figure out how the hell you and Aaron fit together.

After figuring out the best excuses to get in each of the partner’s offices, the team had decided that you were prepped and ready. “You’re welcome to grab some lunch in the cafeteria on the second floor,” Reid told you as the rest of the team was slowly filing out of the conference room. “But the food’s not great, to be honest. The only people who ever really eat there are tourists and kids on field trips.”

You raised an eyebrow at him as you shouldered your purse. “With all that security, the FBI has tour guides?” you asked amusedly.

Reid nodded eagerly as he finished folding up the blueprints. “The FBI has actually had a tour component since 1937, even before it settled here in the Hoover building. After 9/11, they stopped the tours and closed the building to the public and didn’t reopen until 2008 when the FBI made the Education Center. It closed and was redesigned multiple times since then, and now it’s known as the FBI Experience. You have to contact your congressman to request a tour at least four weeks in advance so that the FBI can do a background check,” he said quickly, his hands doing half of the talking for him.

You laughed as the two of you made your way to the door. Aaron had mentioned something about the genius Dr. Reid in passing, and he was just as amusing and endearing as Aaron said he was. “That sounds like a lot of work. If that’s the case, then I might have better luck just asking one of you to give me a tour after this whole thing is done. You sound like you know more than the tour guides anyways.”

Reid stood up a little taller at the compliment, but your focus was immediately drawn to Aaron’s office. Specifically, Aaron, in his office, alone, with the blinds shut and the door wide open. You had promised to be on your best behavior, but the temptation was almost too much. You wanted to see more of Hotch, the FBI agent. “Excuse me for a second, Doctor,” you mumbled, flashing him an innocent smile.

Spencer gave you a small wave as you walked off, headed straight for Aaron’s office, your heels clicking rhythmically on the floor. As if sensing your presence, Aaron’s head shot up the second you stepped into his office, his face void of all emotions. You shut the door slowly behind you, having to hide your smile when you saw him shift in his seat nervously. “Y/N, this isn’t the place-”

You held both of your hands up as you made your way towards his desk. “Don’t worry, Agent. I didn’t come here with the intention to seduce you in front of all your coworkers,” you promised. “Although that can always be arranged.”

You were rewarded with a small grin from Aaron and something that was close to laughter, although it just sounded more like an exhale. “How can I help you?” he asked, unable to mask the lightheartedness in his words.

You sat on the edge of his desk. “Well, I’m going to be rubbing shoulders with a potential serial killer for the rest of the day. Don’t I get a kiss for good luck? Doesn’t even have to be a kiss on the mouth,” you teased. Aaron tensed up. That was the wrong thing to say, apparently. Maybe he remembered that he was at work, and there was no room for playfulness in the FBI. Or maybe he realized that you would be the second woman he’s been with that he’s sending into a dangerous situation.

This was all new territory for the two of you. Previously, there were so many unspoken rules for the relationship, and that’s what made it work. It kept everything easy and fun and none of you had to sift through any baggage.

He didn’t talk about cases he was on and you didn’t mention Jack or Haley- not that you would even want to. He would order dinner for the two of you, but it couldn’t be from anywhere he used to take Haley. So that took away their Chinese place and their pizza place and, God forbid, their Italian place they went to for anniversaries- you preferred Indian anyways. Every once in a while, you’d meet up in hotels that were way too nice and expensive for a fling, but it was always somewhere out of the city, like Baltimore or Fredericksburg, because between the two of you, somebody in DC was bound to recognize one of you.

But there you were, sitting on his desk in the middle of the FBI headquarters, completely thrown off your game. Part of you wondered why he had wanted to continue this thing with you. It wasn’t some midlife crisis- he was too composed for that- and it wasn’t to help heal heartbreak the way it was two years ago. You weren’t complaining about it, though. There was something addictive about Aaron, something that made you think about him even when you hadn’t seen or heard from him in months, and a nagging voice in the back of your head told you that he probably thought the same thing about you. At least, you hoped he did.

You were so entranced in your thoughts that you didn’t even realize he was talking to you. You refocused your eyes and snapped your head back in his direction, where he was looking at you with worry in his eyes. “Hm?” you questioned.

Aaron’s eyes narrowed, like he was trying to read your mind. “I asked if you were sure that you’re ready for this? You all came up with a plan faster than I expected.”

You put on a practiced smile as you slid off his desk, careful not to rustle any of the precariously stacked files next to you. “What can I say, I’m a fast learner. Plus, I went through a major James Bond phase in 7th grade, so this is like a dream come true for me,” you joked, and that seemed to satisfy him.

His face softened, and you once again found yourself fascinated by how much younger he looked when he let himself relax for even half a second. “It’s going to be fine, and I’m going to be talking to you through the earpiece the whole time,” he said. It surprised you just how comforting that single sentiment was, but something about Aaron walking you through the whole process made it less daunting.

Casual flirting with him had worked at the beginning of the conversation, so you decided to try that again. “It’ll be like you’re whispering in my ear all day,” you mused, batting your eyelashes. “That’s kind of sexy, in an exhibitionist kind of way.”

Aaron chuckled and shook his head fondly. “Behave,” he told you firmly, but there was the slightest hint of playfulness.

You made your way towards his office door, throwing a wink his way as you did. “No promises,” you sang. “But I’ll do my best.”

After grabbing something to eat at the cafeteria- Reid was right, the food was terrible- it was time for you to head to the weirdest internship shift you’ve ever had. Most of the team would be in an undercover van outside of the building so that they could listen to everything. You were able to get a ride from Morgan in one of the FBI SUVs, which would drop you off a few blocks away so it didn’t look suspicious. The two of you made some small talk on the way, asking about school and life at the FBI, all very surface level stuff, but nice nonetheless. It helped calm your nerves.

After a while, he pulled over and handed you a bag from the backseat. It was a simple black satchel, not very different from the usual one you would bring to work. “Okay, here is everything you’ll need. You remember the plan, right?”

You nodded quickly as you put in the earpiece, trying to hide any signs of nervousness. “Yup,” you said, popping the ‘P’. “Honestly, this isn’t even the worst thing I’ve done while working.”

Derek chuckled, maybe despite himself. “Remember, we’ll be right outside of the building. Just treat it like a normal day.”

You didn’t think that was even going to be possible, but luckily, you were proven wrong the moment you stepped into the elevator.

“Woah, hold the door for me!”

You stuck your hand out quickly just before the elevator doors closed, and your friend Chris came barreling through. He was a third year when you were a first year at George Washington and the two of you met in your tax law class. You quickly became fast friends, and you met most of your law school friends through him. When he got hired as a staff attorney at the same firm you were interning at, you couldn’t have been more excited.

You clutched the satchel a little tighter, knowing full well that the entire BAU was about to hear this conversation. “Hey,” you said, your voice light.

Chris just raised an eyebrow at you. “Hey?” he asked incredulously. “That’s it? What the hell happened to you last night? We were all supposed to go out and you didn’t show up. No phone call, nothing. And then the only response we got from you was three hours later when you just said ‘Sorry, something came up, next time!’”

You sighed and reached over to press the button for the third floor. It was crazy to think that the interrogation had been less than 24 hours ago- it felt like a lifetime to you. Aaron’s voice came through the earpiece. You can’t tell anybody about the investigation. Make an excuse and change the subject.

“Sorry, mom,” you huffed, staring at the elevator doors. “I got busy, and I’m not attached to my phone all the time like a certain newlywed. How are you and Sam, by the way?” You looked at Chris pointedly with that comment and, like expected, he was frantically shoving his phone back in his pocket. Chris had gotten married two months ago and was still very much in the honeymoon phase.

Good job, Aaron said into the earpiece, and it made you smile despite yourself.

Which, unfortunately, did not go unnoticed by Chris. He narrowed his eyes at you for a few seconds before gasping. “You’re deflecting! And I know that smile.” He thought about it for a second before his eyes went wide. “Oh my god, you ditched us last night because you were getting railed.”

Your friends knew you way too well. You rolled your eyes at Chris. “Wow, that is a reach if I’ve ever seen one.”

The elevator doors opened and you all but sprinted out of there. “You’re not denying it!” Chris accused and you had to bite back a groan of annoyance. You loved your friends, but you did not want to have this conversation right now. “Come on, spill. What is their name?”

You heard Aaron take a sharp intake of breath. You weren’t going to tell Chris, even if you weren’t currently wired where all of Aaron’s coworkers could hear. You never told your friends about Aaron because you were worried about their reaction. They would have worried about his age, or if he was taking advantage of you, or if you were in any danger because of his job. They would have pressured you to pursue more of a “true” relationship with Aaron, and you weren’t going to pretend like that was even a possibility.

You liked Aaron, and it really seemed like Aaron genuinely liked you, too, just not in a way that would make sense to people, especially not your friends. Aaron was always nice to you. He treated you like an equal, not just some random college girl he was sleeping with. He was interesting, and being around him was easy. Aaron would invite you over sometimes and the two of you would just do your work while eating take out before you would have sex. Sometimes, you’d ask him for help with your homework, because there really wasn’t any better tutor, and he was happy to give it. At the time when you first met, the two of you were just kind of lonely, and it was nice to have somebody around who just got it.

You also liked the version of you that Aaron brought out- smarter, wittier, and even a little bit more put together. Definitely much more ambitious. And if seeing him at work was indicative of anything, you thought that he liked the version of himself that you seemed to bring out- more easygoing and playful, like he didn’t have the weight of the world on his shoulders.

And also, yeah, the sex was really fucking good.

You sped up your steps, but Chris was right at your heels. “You’re such a chismoso, but fine. His first name is nunya, last name business.”

You heard him groan behind you, and you turned around so that you were walking backwards. “Y/N, you suck so bad. This is going in the group chat, and we are going to find out who you’re sleeping with.”

You laughed, finally feeling relaxed and calm for the first time since you heard about this plan. “Mhm, good luck with that,” you called to him. “Now if you don’t mind, I have to get to work. Not all of us get paid to sit around and look pretty.”

“Yeah, you just get college credit for it,” he snorted and you just turned back around. You were sure you were going to get so much shit from your friends later, but the bag on your shoulder was getting heavier every second.

Placing the listening devices was as easy as they told you it was going to be. You were able to go throughout your shift fairly normally, sitting through meetings and writing emails, mostly. If you needed to get into somebody’s office, you would just tell them that they needed to sign something or ask them if they wanted any more coffee. The only times Aaron would say something into the earpiece was if they couldn’t get a signal on the device and you needed to move it slightly.

When it was time for your break, you flipped your phone over in your hands a few times, debating on whether or not you should text Aaron. You wanted to see him again. You wanted to hear him moan in your ear while his hands roamed every inch of you. You desperately wanted his mouth on you, his head in between your thighs. You could imagine Aaron on top of you, brushing your hair from your face, and telling you how pretty you were. Maybe you’d text Aaron later, when he wasn’t in a cramped van.

“Y/N?” You snapped your head up to see a woman you knew to be Julian DuPont’s assistant. DuPont owned the law firm, and he came from a very rich and powerful DC family. He was the whole reason that the FBI couldn’t just sneak in and bug the office themselves- he would be suspicious about anybody he didn’t personally know. Even having been an intern at the law firm for almost an entire year, you had only spoken to him one-on-one a handful of times. Sure, they were all positive experiences, but you knew he could lie to almost anybody.

“Yes?” you asked cautiously.

She gave you a sweet smile. “Mr. DuPont has asked to see you in his office right away.”

Your mouth instantly dried up and your heart started to beat so fast that you would have sworn everybody could hear it. “Uh… Yeah, of course, um… Did he happen to say what it was about?” you stuttered out. He was the first office you had placed the bug in. Maybe he found out and was about to fire you in front of everybody. Or worse, your brain supplied unhelpfully.

The assistant shook her head and guided you wordlessly to DuPont’s office. Stay calm, came Aaron’s voice through the earpiece. I will tell you everything you need to say if you get stuck, but you’ll be fine.

When you got to the office, the assistant close the door behind you, leaving you alone in the office with Mr. DuPont himself. He gave you a warm smile, which should have comforted you, but you didn’t think you had ever seen him smile for anything not related to winning a case or getting money. “Sit, please,” he ordered, gesturing lazily to the chair in front of his desk.

You tried to keep your breathing even as you sat down quickly, rubbing your hands on the tops of your thighs. It felt like you were in the principal’s office. You stayed silent so that he could have the first word.

“As you may know, I’ve been watching your progress very closely, both here and with your professors,” he stated, leaning forwards in his chair. “You’re very intelligent, and I think you have a bright career in front of you.”

“Thank you, sir,” you said, trying to put as much confidence in your words as possible. There was a ‘but’ coming, you felt it. You could vaguely make out mumbling in your earpiece, like the BAU were trying to profile what Julian was going to say half a second before he said it.

DuPont straightened out a pen on his desk- to be specific, the pen with the listening device in it. Your breath caught in your throat. “I would like to capitalize on that potential and have you work here after you’ve graduated, but I need to see how you do in an actual courtroom. Law students are allowed to practice law under the supervision of an attorney, which would be me. If you do well, and you pass the bar, you’ll have a job here as an associate right after graduation. Think of it as a trial run, or a try-before-you-buy program.”

You let out a sigh of relief, not even caring how dramatic it may have looked to Julian, and you closed your eyes for a second just to ground yourself. He didn’t know, it was just a job offer. The secret was safe. The earpiece went silent again. “Sir- I… Thank you so much. I would love to, of course. It would be an absolute honor.”

DuPont nodded and leaned back in his chair. “That’s good to hear. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting to attend to. We will discuss this more at a later date.”

You shook his hand quickly before exiting, your heart pounding. You were going to need a drink, or five, tonight. Maybe it was stupid, but part of you wanted to hear something from your earpiece. It didn’t even need to be Aaron speaking, but you wanted somebody from the BAU to remind you that everything was okay.

Ignoring the questioning look from Chris, you sat down at your desk, attempting to process everything that just happened. Once the adrenaline went down, you let yourself get excited. A job offer, and a nice one at that, at a fancy private firm with a nice salary. You were set.

You grabbed your phone so that you could send the news to your friends, but a notification caught your eye.

From: Aaron Hotchner

Congratulations, associate. I told you that you’d make a wonderful lawyer someday.

To: Aaron Hotchner

Thank you :) You know this means I’m going to practice my opening statements on you all the time, right??

From: Aaron Hotchner

I’m looking forward to it.

[vampiresuns]

Power Couple | JC Sanlaurento x Saoirse

⚡︎ POWER COUPLE ⚡︎

1.7k words. JC Sanlaurento and Saoirse make a comeback for the prompt ‘who to see’ from @midsummer-masquerade​.

All Saoirse, Theo, Meredith and the rest of her crew belong to @apprenticealec​. Just like ‘Wouldn’t You Love to Love Her’, this is also set in the Janiverse.

You can find Sanlaurento’s outfit here, and the rest of City of Delights here.

Julianus examined the invitation —the luxurious paper and printing work— and hummed. 

“So, what you’re telling me is that Vesuvians host secret sex parties?” They asked Saoirse, who was sitting on their bed, watching Julianus sway in their place from side to side. 

“That’s a way of looking at it.”

JC snorted. “It tracks for me. What doesn’t is that Meredith knows the former Count.”

They left the invite Saoirse had given them next to Saoirse’s own as they went to sit on the quartermaster’s lap. Saoirse began telling them what they knew about Meredith’s and Lucio’s friendship, as the two of them sat unnecessarily close to each other. Saoirse liked it that way, they liked the way their Julie’s rib cage moved as they spoke, or the way their heart beated inside their chest. 

“Who got the fourth invite?” 

Saoirse’s smirk told them the answer was going to be good. “Theo.” 

Jules was already vibrating.

Vesuvia wasn’t that different from what they remembered. They had travelled to the City a handful of times when they were studying in Firent and  the plague was no longer a risk. Julianus liked it — lively and cosmopolitan, the atmosphere vibrated with magic, making it seem like anything would happen. 

As soon as they reached port, Elizabeth and Tariq dragged Meredith their own way, Drew walking calmly behind them. That left Julianus, Saoirse and Theo to go search for their outfits on their own. They walked the streets together, Jules holding Saoirse’s hand while they animatedly talked with Theo about fashion, textures and the like, sharing jokes as they browsed through the Red Market. 

When they ran into Meredith, Julianus couldn’t help but to tease Theo a little bit. Theo replied with some teasing of his own, telling his friend he was sure Saoirse and them wouldn’t even make it out of their room at the party. 

“Let’s see,” Jules said, that little smile on their face that no one in the crew knew if Saoirse had copied from them, or them from Saoirse. 

They didn’t have much more time to stroll around the City after they got their outfits. Not wanting to be late, they made their way to the Palace, meeting with Meredith on the door. While Meredith and Theo had separate rooms, Saoirse and Jules had one together, as it was customary for couples who didn’t request otherwise. They didn’t remember saying anything about it, but the pink-haired servant that was guiding them through the Palace said one could tell. 

Jules felt Saoirse short next to them, quickly followed by their arm around their back. 

They wanted to ask the name of the servant, to thank her, but she was gone before they could say anything as soon as they were shown their room. Julianus soon forgot about it anyway, as Saoirse pressed against them from behind.

“If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you were impatient.”

“How about ‘curious’? It’s hard not to be when you have been very insisting about me not spying on your outfit. Despite you helping me choose mine.” 

“You’ll have to tame that horse because I want to shower before I begin getting ready.” 

Saoirse just made a deadpan comment about their woes, that Jules fully knew they didn’t mean. Saoirse was a patient person (because Saoirse was a person, eldritch existence aside), and Saoirse liked to indulge whatever little ritual Julianus came up with in situ. They found them entertaining, and they could see why their partner liked to come up with little explanations and decorative reasons for certain things.

They just were fun to follow. Not that Saoirse ever expected to think that, but that was their Julie. 

Saoirse asked if they were allowed to have a bath with them, and they were, though of course it ended up being half bath, half make out session. Yet, the moment they began getting ready once they were out of it, Julianus shooed them out of the bathroom with a gentle push. 

“You’ll get many rewards for your compliance, thank you very much.”

“Oh, I’m the one getting the rewards tonight? I thought you liked being the one getting them.”

“For being a void with eyes and I being the horny human, you’re absolutely incorregible.”

“I thought you liked it.”

“I do,” they said, asking Saoirse to lean down to kiss their lips.

Saoirse kissed them back before going to get ready themselves, looking around their room when they were ready, and seeing how soft the bed was. It was very, to their discovery. Julie was going to like it, they thought — it had not gone past them that while they were not even close to Theo’s original royal status, or Elizabeth’s for that matter, they had come from a very economically comfortable background. To begin with, they were a lawyer who had studied in Firent. That said something on itself. 

While their Julie wasn’t conceited in the slightest and had separated their choices from those of their family, out of what Saoirse knew and could tell from having observed humans for so long, there were some things that, like Theo, they couldn’t shake off. Luxurious bedding was one of them: Julie always raided rich people’s quarters for certain possessions and home making elements were one of them. Saoirse’s bed in the ship had never looked nor felt plusher. 

Lying back on the bed, waiting, they began making conversation with them. They talked about Vesuvia, about Theo and Meredith, and the party itself. Julianus revealed they didn’t know if they would come to something like this otherwise. 

“I don’t think this is the kind of party to come alone, or at least I wouldn’t attend alone. I don’t mind doing things on my own, but again, this isn’t it.”

“I’m sure there’s going to be a lot of people looking for other people.”

“Well, it is a sex party,” they said, their voice carrying into the bedroom from the bath, “I just have a bit of trouble thinking about the hypothetical.”

Julianus did not know how the conversation turned from there to if they’d be interested in someone else, if they weren’t a thing. They couldn’t help trying to figure out why Saoirse was asking, even though they knew Saoirse was asking simply because that’s how they explored things they didn’t quite understand. Asking.

“I think I’m answer is not going to be as interesting as you think it will be. Though I honestly do not know what you’re expecting— the thing is I just can’t picture myself with anyone else other than you now? I know you wouldn’t care if I let you know I wanted another partner or to sleep with someone else, but unless I had a specific itch, I just… don’t see it.

“Like, okay maybe if Meredith wasn’t my boss, but Theo has the right of way there because he is my friend and I want him to be happy, Tariq is very handsome; If you make me think of other ships Jade and Louis are very pleasant to the eye, and maybe in another life I would flirt with them. Maybe in this one too as a joke, and to piss Rodrigo off. Even then they’re all very nice hypotheticals I care little for when I have you right here.

“Your all the private devotion I will ever need.”

They came out of the bathroom. They had their hair in waves, two red flowers pinned to the side of their head. Julianus was wearing a black bustier styled corselette, it had garter straps hooked to black thigh high socks, and was wearing black boots that went almost as high up as the socks. They were fitting into each arm a pair of above the elbow, black gloves. 

They looked stunning. They always did. It wasn’t the outfit that made Saoirse look at them like that.

“Mo grá?”

“Aside from the Queen, I don’t think anyone has ever chosen me like that.”

Jules walked towards them, who was now sitting on the bed, and stood between their legs. They kissed their forehead. “Well, to you, to love is to protect. For me, to love is to choose, too. You���re a wonderful person to choose, Saoirse.” 

For a being as old as Saoirse, loneliness was something they had to be used to. For a being as old as Saoirse, who also spent so much time around humans, they don’t think they would ever notice what loneliness was if it wasn’t for their proximity to them. Saoirse’s hand found Julianus’ side, as their mouth pressed itself against their skin and their clothes. 

“No comments on the outfit? You look very handsome. I am most definitely the luckiest person in this Palace, sorry to Theodore.”

“You look, you look—” Saoirse didn’t know how to finish their sentence. How human of them. How odd. How misplaced. How very Saoirse. Them and Jules were both like that: misplaced. Yet right then they looked beautiful, inviting, sexy, like the sea, like freedom on Saoirse’s hair and like not a wave, but a tsunami changing their coastline forever. 

Saoirse didn’t need to finish their sentence for Jules to get it. “See, this is what Tariq means when he says you’re bound to make me mad with power.”

“You like it.”

“Oh, I do. Nothing like being loved and fucked by my favourite eldritch entity. Like I said: my own private devotion.”

Saoirse smiled at them; a kind of smile only reserved for Julianus, one that carried a different complicity than the one they had with the Pirate Queen. 

“Do you want to have a look around, or do you want to prove Theo right?”

Sanlaurento snorted. “Never. Let's go make people jealous of how good we look.”

Saoirse was happy to indulge them. Out of their room and into the party, Julianus hooked their arm around Saoirse’s. It made them stop. Looking at them with a little smirk, Saoirse crouched down to sit Julianus’ on their shoulder, turning their head to kiss their thigh. 

“Why walk when I can carry you?”

“Mad with power, and it’ll be your fault.”

“I’ll have to find something to keep you in line then.”

“Please do,” they said, catching the innuendo in Saoirse’s tone. 

[crowsent]

a fuckton of things i want in da4

a few words censored bc tumblr will swallow this in the void if i dont. long ass fuck list ahead

a romanceable dwarf

more romanceable elves/qunari

more elf/qunari/dwarf companions

consistent writing for once

more nb representation

good hair. please just give me good hair options. give me long hair. give me luxurious flowing locks. give me braids. give me good fucking hair options

let me shittalk the chantry

dalish elf npcs that impact the plot in unique ways

dalish elf companions that are proud of being dalish

if it is set in tevinter maybe uh. maybe address the issue of systemic oppression (and slavery) of elves???????

a return of the friendship/rivalry system in da2 but improved. maybe instead of a friendship rivalry sliding scale its friendship/rivalry/animosity sliding scale. bc rivalry is more like. two people pushing each other to be better than they were before. friendly competition. hes an idiot but hes my idiot kind of deal. animosity would be just regular disapproval. i liked the crisis cutscenes in dai so high animosity would be the same as low approval and might make the companion leave still, but theres more variety with high approval. high approval “friendship” would be the “were best friends and we share many opinions and agree on almost everything” while high approval “rivalry” being “we disagree on almost everything but goddamn it youre my friend and ill follow you into the fade if i have to” so you can have a high approval with someone instead of being a kissass

actions and choices having consequences again

multiple endings again (epilogue slideshows dont count)

dialogue wheels with descriptions that match what you actually say

characters from rivain, antiva, anderfels, etc

gifts. bring back the gifts. i want to give my companions gifts

maybe. maybe a focus of non-andrastian religion for once?

let me shittalk the chantry

i know its a stretch, but maybe. diverse skin colours. please?

nd characters that are written respectfully and treated w dignity

please bring back the talent wheel from dao and da2

more bi romance options

more wlw romance options

more mlm romance options

ace romance options

nb romance options

background romances

let me shittalk the chantry

far fetched but maybe a polycule?

i lowkey LOVED the fast-paced feel of da2s combat so maybe bring that back in some form? maybe improved to mesh with the tactics of dai to give players absolute freedom of playstyle whether they want to be like me and rush into every encounter or play more strategically

companions with unique companion abilities

would be nice to explore cities

would be nice if the open world were a little smaller so it doesnt feel empty all the gd time

more mage spells. mages felt like just another class of fighter to me in dai. they dont really have any awe-inducing wow factor like in dao or even da2. if the narrative wants me to believe that mages are powerful and dangerous and that it takes multiple templars to hunt down an apostate, maybe show that? give me strong mages

remove the jump ability. its pointless

a narrative that addresses the oppression that the chantry and templars perpetuated please

bring back the attributes

make the choices in dai matter. mages governing themselves? i wanna see that

let me shittalk the chantry

please bring back the healing magic for fucks sakes

multi-class system between rogues and warriors?

multiple specialisations that feel like specialisations and not just skill tree+

player-only skill trees

hardening

companion quests that affect their abilities and further dialogue

actual morally grey choices instead of this stupid mage freedom vs templar oppression narrative that is in no way morally grey but is presented as such and thus leaves the conflicts and narratives set up by dao and da2 to be fucking meaningless

bring back the tactics

would be nice to have an origins-esque prologue again. maybe one that would determine future events in game just to give your character better narrative cohesion with the plot

an approval/disapproval system but for companions with other companions. bringing certain companions together may bring them closer or make them pissed off with each other which affects banter maybe quests maybe combat

give me a fucking mabari bioware. give me back my fucking mabari

day/night cycle

a nightmare mode where you have to finish the main quest on a time limit. it is absurd that dai expects me to believe that i have all this time to do wartable missions that can take literal real life DAYS to finish and still thwart corypheus’ plans in time. bullshit

that said. no more wartable missions. waiting for a countdown to finish isnt very fun

let me shittalk the chantry

kal-sharok. ive been hearing about it since dao let me fucking see kal-sharok

dwarven politics

politics in general. my fav dao quest was the succession crisis plotline in orzammar/the landsmeet and wewh in dai

npcs i can talk to. even with generic dialogue like in dao. makes the world more alive

using the environment to your advantage. far fetched but i would love to be able to pull down boulders if were in the mountains or freeze water to get to places as a mage

home base customisation but the customisation choices you make actually. mean something. and do something. or at the very least give more companion dialogue/banter/approval change

laconic and ergonomic codexes. like. sorted by what kind of codex it is, etc etc but then you just get a brief summary of the codex and the option to read more about it so i dont spend eternity scrolling through cards looking for a specific codex entry. cool aesthetic dont get me wrong but real irritating to deal with. also. maybe. the pc making comments about the codex if you do read more about it? like a dalish elf saying “they got it all wrong” when reading a codex about dalish elves written by a human??? that would a) give character to the pc b) incentivise people to actually read the codex to see what was so wrong about it c) summarise the codex for people who want to learn the lore but dont want to spent the entire game reading text

maybe have the merchants in your home base close to crafting stations so you dont have to take a fucking hike if you miscounted the amount of elfroot you need?

let me shittalk the chantry

avvar companion maybe??? interesting lore right there

bring back stat requirements for weapons and remove the class restriction for most shit. obviously a dagger would be better for a rogue than a longsword and a mage would do better with a staff than a sword and shield but its not about efficiency. its about the roleplay. its about the options. give me the option to make a mage with wildly inappropriate stat distribution

bring back sustained mode abilities

traps. bring back traps. bring back the option to stealth into an area, trap the fuck out of it, and go from there

have the three available classes in kind of a rock paper scissors scenario. warriors do real well against rogues who do real well against mages who do real well against warriors. so you can plan your party depending on who/what youll face AND how much their approval will change during the quest you take them on

let me shittalk the chantry

actually resolve the plot points introduced in dai

a more threatening villain. the inquisitor thwarted every attempt made by corypheus in dai. he was not threatening at all

queer characters. background, companions, etc. queer characters

mounts were meh in dai. maybe. make them faster? or less cumbersome? or have your companions on mounts too so theres still banter?

i liked the armour tinting. let me have armour tinting from the beginning

i would really like mages to move and attack at the same time bc lowkey standing in one spot is uhhhhhhh kinda boring

let me check companions friendship/rivalry levels

would be nice if the narrative acknowledged that elves suffered greatly at the hands of the chantry and stopped victim-blaming them

more taverns. specifically like tapsters in dao where theres a dwarf just reciting something in a language i cant understand and if you look its a ballad/poet about dwarven culture and that was a real nice touch let me have that

dalish elf clan. dalish elf clan that does not get murdered please and thank you

meaningful quests. more cinematic dialogue

make found gear / quest reward gear more valuable than crafted gear

game modifiers like in dai were real nice. i want more

let me shittalk the chantry

quests that can be resolved in multiple ways. like connors fate in dao. and for those ways to impact further quests

companions with varying moral alignments

companions that are mutually exclusive (like alistair and loghain) but are both good companions so itd really make you think

a pc that IS NOT a “chosen one” vanilla da2 is my fav dragon age game for one reason and one reason only and that is because hawke is just some random refugee who escaped lothering. no chosen one magic at all. just an ordinary person who is a real good fighter. and that appealed to me more than this “you are the only one who can do it” narrative

let me meet more elvhen gods

if the setting is in tevinter, GIVE ME FUCKING ARCHITECTURE. give me the high spires, the archways, the buttresses, give me statues lining city gates and magic infused into the buildings. tevinter is a land ruled by MAGES give me magical architecture. give me floating buildings. give me fire floating as orbs above the streets like lamps. GIVE ME ARCHITECTURE

SHALE

let me shittalk the chantry

PIERCINGS GIVE ME FUCKING PIERCINGS BIOWARE

more main quests, longer main quests

if it is set in tevinter maybe. maybe address the fact that tevinter has been at war with the qunari for a while? on and off war is still war. and maybe give us the option to influence the outcome of that war?

more voice options. instead of just american voice or british voice, do the thing in dao again where there are multiple voices of different tones to further cement the pcs personality

more armour designs

biased but uh. can. can taliesen jaffe va a character?

i already said qunari companions but specifically saarebas companions

blood magic

FINISHING MOVE ANIMATIONS

please do not let it be as long as inquisition. inquisition was a SLOG in later playthroughs

body sliders. what if i want a tall but lanky qunari? what if i want a buff as shit elf? body sliders

more eye options

let me call out companions

btw bioware. if you really wanted cullen to be a good guy. maybe handle his fucking redemption arc a little better instead of retconning all the terrible and creepy shit hes done in the past k thx

can female walk/run animations not have. so much swaying hips? no one moves like that

personality dialogue that affects future dialogue like in da2 but meshed with the wider range of emotions introduced by dai

keep the race/s*x lock on romance candidates like in dai. keep the fact that some characters can only be romanced by certain races or s*xes

nb and genderqueer options for the pc

cutscenes of companions interacting

ngl i lowkey liked the random encounters of dao so maybe bring that back

my fav quest in dao is the landsmeet / orzammar succession crisis questline but you know whats my second favourite? the rescue mission if the warden gets captured and you have to play as your party members. give me that again

more creepy/dark shit. dai was too lighthearted for me esp after da2 and dao

let me shittalk the chantry

broodmothers. in hd.

red lyrium broodmothers. in hd

companions with different backgrounds. different faiths. different statuses. different families. etc

maybe make the pcs appearance make an impact on the story? like how bull says he likes redheads, but even if you are a redhead, he says nothing about it????? maybe keep track of which slider the player picks so that can affect the story?

i love my inquisitors but maybe. dont. bring the inquisitor in as anything more than an advisor/npc in this game? let me fall in love with a new pc???

if theres gonna be a homebase like skyhold where youre not in armor. maybe give us better clothing?

a kind of gear skin mechanic similar to ac:odyssey where you can change how the gear looks but keep the stats. so you can equip that higher level armour and keep the look and aesthetic of your old armour and you unlock the skins/looks of the armours you discover/make so you can be both powerful AND aesthetic

i enjoyed the nobility/underworld/arcane/etc knowledge in dai unlocking more dialogue options so maybe keep/expand on that but make it more accessible by side missions or companions or something that isnt the abysmal perk system in dai

let me shittalk the chantry

customisable walking animations. does the pc walk straightbacked? slouched? with a swagger? please

since there will undoubtedly be an obligatory fade sequence, maybe have an option for nightmare demons that ARENT spiders. thank you

slap on subtitles and conlang some languages. i want to hear elvish. i want to hear tevene. give me the languages

more dragons. esp if they look vastly different

more bard songs

i am completely biased here, but i would like to hear laura bailey as a va for a character. preferably a voice option for the pc

hey maybe have the true ending actually included in the base game and not in a dlc (tresppasser cough cough)

better val royeaux

please remove the had to do it to em idle animation tis distracting

on that note, more idle animations. maybe some unique to companions?

very trivial but. unique stair climbing/descending animation

bring back talking to companions on the road. maybe with some dialogue that can only be said on the road???

if banter is interrupted, make like rdr2 and pick up where the banter left off

more vallaslin designs please?

if theres another formal scene like dai maybe. give us. decent clothing. or better yet, decen clothing OPTIONS. i wanna decide how i look in a ball full of haughty orlesians

mage vs templar conflict resolved and addressed please. it is NOT resolved in dai. what we got was sequel bait and a slideshow. resolve it please

let me shittalk the chantry

a pro-mage anti-circle circle mage companion like anders

religious person who doesnt victim-blame elves in the codex or in game or anywhere please

characters more like leliana who question the chantry and acknowledge its corruption and greed

unapologetically sapphic companion

idc if its tevinter i dont want to fucking see queer people being disrespected

a true tal-vashoth companion, one who escaped from the qun

have quest decisions affect whether or not a companion will turn hostile to you or not

if IF solas will be redeemed, please do the redemption arc right

more horn options for qunari

an apostate mage who doesnt use me for their personal agenda whilst hiding something from me (morrigan, anders, solas) thanks

i really dig the whole “leader of an army” thing dai was trying to go for. but you didnt actually. lead. anything. would be nice to have that option. command soldiers. send them places that affect further quests. would even use the wartable for its intended purpose. planning wars. battles. like. you get sent word that there are bandits harassing villagers. you can set up an ambush with your soldiers or confront them headon, and theres a new mini-location on the map like the manor you meet vivienne in where you can go deal with the bandits and depending on your choices, there are actually soldiers with you in a field, or traps in a narrow pass, or even in a city. id rather the wartable shit dont return but if they have to, at least this way youre not just waiting real life time for a bunch of text to appear

i am real fucking excited for the possibility that da4 companions can just fucking die on you. good shit. give me that angst

missions that certain companions would refuse to go with you to. you know. so you actually have to use other members of your party instead of the same 3 (three) people all the goddamn time

disabled characters (i want a character who suffers from the same chronic bad leg disease as i do is that too much to ask)

kinda touched on by the da2 combat point but let me do close combat damage with the staff

no multiplayer. and if there is a multiplayer, dont tie it with achievements

let me fucking explore weisshaupt

(i dont think solas will be the endgame villain of da and i dont think da4 will be the last da game but still) again. for emphasis. resolve the plot points dai brought up

full-body scars and tattoo options

companions and npcs changing their opinions about things over time. eg: a pro-circle mage wanting instead for circles to be abolished after a specific side mission or a main quest decision etc

keep the multiple companion quests. and maybe change what kinds of companion quests are available further down depending on choices made in previous companion quests

please for fucks sake give us more characters of colour

let me shittalk the chantry

[bccrsk]

#protectAdora2020

Felt cute, thought I'd post this analysis I wrote a while ago, but I held off because of screenshots, but now I'm too busy to do that soooo.......have fun reading :D -----

The tragedies of Adora's character are rooted in the concepts of identity and choice and what it means to love and accept yourself. You can even say Adora's identity crisis closely parallels that of say, a young queer person from an oppressive background struggling to embrace their sexuality and who they are. 

One of the first facets of Adora's identity is chipped away when she realizes the Horde is evil. She has a rude awakening that the people she knew, the people she looked up to, her family, have all been lying to her. Everything she'd known in her life up to this point was a lie. Because she loves Catra so profoundly, she assumes when she tells Catra the 'truth' that she will turn tail and run away with Adora. When Catra does not and reveals that she knew all along what the Horde was doing, it rips another piece of her identity away. In her mind, her best friend isn't who she thought, and it hurts. In Promise, she gets a glimmer of hope, but their trauma and memories tear them apart because Light Hope wanted Adora to let go of Catra. To activate the Heart, you can't have a heart. Even then, Adora's never fully let go. Note that Adora had no choice but to grow up in the Horde— it's all she's ever known yet her dedication to morals and ideals are so powerful she's able to defect without thinking of the person she loves the most. "I had no choice— I couldn't go back," she says. Ironically, this is one of the few times Adora actually did make a choice, and in her mind, later on, it blew up in her face.

Another piece of Adora's identity is broken away when she learns the truth about her origins: she is not of Etheria; Adora had a family, and she was taken from them without choice. Learning this devastates her for two reasons: 1) people have lied to her again, and 2) she feels robbed of a life that could have been because she never wanted to be a hero. We see this in how she tries intimidating Shadow Weaver— "Tell me the truth, for once." One thing that sticks out in this scene is when SW says, "or perhaps you would have preferred the comfort of lies." SW raised Adora, and she knows how dedicated Adora was to the Horde when she did not see the truth. Adora saw how Catra was treated and yet did not believe the Horde was evil again because, in the Horde, you don't get to form an opinion or identity— you are a soldier and nothing more. The only foundation to build herself on was a higher purpose/goal, which was to free Etheria from the Princesses. So yea, when Shadow Weaver tells her the truth and when Light Hope confirms that SW was, for once, not lying, she's at a loss. The few times people actually tell her the truth are plagued with drastic consequences. She's so demoralized that she chooses to venture to the Crimson Waste, a place known for being barren, deadly and somewhere no one visits willingly. When Huntara betrayed her, Adora was so devastated because it was finally her chance to get answers for herself— to not have to rely on others to reveal her destiny. Then she gets kidnapped, it all goes to shit, and everyone is sad (aka me). 

Adora learning she had been robbed of a chance for a happy life devastates her. You can see this clearly when she screams at Light Hope, "Don't I get a choice?" to which Light Hope responds— "You do not get to choose. You are chosen." Recall when Mara says, "I never wanted to be a hero,"—Adora, at this point, is in the exact same boat. She never wanted to be a hero; she was living up to expectations thrust upon her. She was doing what people thought she should be doing. None of this was her choice. She never wanted to leave Catra. She never asked for this.  Catra describes Adora as "earnest, naive, ridiculously easy to manipulate," and the fact that Catra herself pointed this out shows just how well anyone who really knows Adora can work her. Adora's impulsive nature is also positively reinforced throughout the series— she finds the sword, defects and is rewarded with new friends, a new home, and a life she never dreamed she could have. 

Adora's abuse had such lasting impact because it preyed on her naivety and dedication to her morals and ideals; she must do this to serve the greater good, she must be useful or else what good is she? It damaged her psyche so negatively that even Razz comments, "You ran into the woods and asked the first old lady you saw what you should do." Ironically enough, when she punches Catra in the portal, she says, "You made your choice— now live with it!" When you really think about it, though, did they really get to make any choices based on what they wanted? Yes, Adora chose to defect, yes Catra pulled the lever. But is that what they wanted? Earlier on in the portal episode, she comments, "Catra, this can't be what you wanted!" The thing is, even Adora doesn't know what she wants at this point; Adora is doing what she thinks she should be doing because Light Hope bent the truth. Which brings me to...

The final piece of her identity that's chipped away is when she learns the truth about the Heart of Etheria— that she was not chosen to be a savior but to be the key to a superweapon whose sole purpose is destroying worlds in the name of 'peace.' This piece shattering comes to a head when she, for the first time, defies her predetermined destiny. She essentially breaks her sense of duty because, in Mara's words, "you can save the world we love." This is intentional; Mara could have said, "you can save Etheria!" but she instead chose to go for the heart. It's because of this love, not factions, or artificial ideals that she's able to overpower all the magic on Etheria. 

While this may seem extreme given that she's lost in the past against less threatening enemies, it actually makes perfect sense. When Mara tells Adora the truth about the Heart, she says Adora "will be more powerful than they ever planned." We get the first hint of this on Beast Island when she overpowers her fears and insecurities to save her friends, who she loves. The second glimpse we get of this is when she overwhelms Light Hope and even gives Light Hope enough strength to defy her own programming— all because Light Hope loved Mara. And when she awakens the She-Ra within, it will be because she loves you-know-who (NOT VOLDEMORT). 

I'm going to take a brief tangent, now—think about where Adora was raised: the Horde. Now think about how she left everything behind because she realizes the Horde is evil and found the Sword of Protection— aka a First One's artifact. Now think about how she left everything behind to become She-Ra for the 'greater good.' Think about Adora's reaction when she found out she was a First One. Now think about how the First Ones turned out to be not such good people after all. Next, go ahead and think about how Adora is going to grapple with the fact that the ideologies of the place she was born and the place she was raised in completely clash with her own. Though we know She-Ra isn't actually a nefarious being, Adora does not. In Adora's mind, if the First Ones made the Sword and the Sword is She-Ra, then that means She-Ra, Adora, was the villain all along. To top it off, in the Horde, she was always in the spotlight, a centerpiece made for greatness, just like when she was She-Ra. You'll bring peace and order to Etheria, Adora— you are Etheria's champion, Adora, but by the way, when we mean peace, we totally mean destroying everything. That's not gonna ruin anything, right?

Does this hurt yet? Cause it's about to get worse! Now combine everything you just read with Adora's hero complex— everything is my fault. She needs to feel useful to feel like she's worth existing, but what happens when two core parts of her identity are the reasons why there's so much turmoil on Etheria? What happens when, though obviously untrue, she feels like she does make everything worse? Remember when Light Hope told her that her friends get hurt whenever she's around? Remember when Glimmer first called her a heartless destroyer in the pilot? Remember how that came full circle, and Glimmer later blamed Adora for Angella's death? Yea, it's not going to be good, chief. And she sacrificed everything and everyone for the Sword— in a way, the Sword represents Adora, and she willingly destroys it to save everyone else. Adora breaks herself to save the world. Mara, Adora—it all ends the same. Hurts, doesn't it? 

So now that the sword is broken, her relationship with Catra seems irreparable, and Glimmer's been taken by an ominous alien warlord, what should she do? You can tell her spirit is at its lowest point by the composition of the scene: she's alone and small in a dark void, with nothing but broken pieces at her feet. She stares at these broken pieces with heartbreak; this is all a metaphor for her current state of mind and how she is processing everything. She is also realizing, or will realize, that all of this heartache that she's suffered in the name of the 'greater good' was for a lie; she sacrificed everything, gave up her heart, for a lie. 

When she sees Bow afterward, she seemingly hardens her resolve. At this point, however, this resolve is a facade— Adora is terrified, she no longer has a purpose, She-Ra is gone. How is she going to be useful without the sword? She's going to save the universe, but how? In S1E9, when she had to rescue Bow and Glimmer from the Horde, Angella asks her, "How are you going to do that?" In the season four finale, Bow expresses the same doubt— 'what are we gonna do?' When Angella asked her, the first thing Adora did was put on a brave face. Then, however, we see the beginnings of a breakdown; she buries her face in her hands and begins sobbing silently. Of course, the other princesses unite, and they save the day. 

Adora's identity is completely shattered at this point except for one thing: her attachments. Her love. And while Adora herself thinks some of these attachments are broken, the truth is that they aren't. Glimmer obviously still cares. Catra has always cared— it's why she went to such extremes. Her attachments, her heart will become her new compass— not her ideals. When she tries leaving everyone for the greater good, Swift Wind reminds Adora that her friends need her, that they've always needed her. Then she has a moment— she says, "I didn't choose to become She-Ra to fulfill some destiny. My attachments, my friends, are a part of who I am." This will come full circle, especially because of her fight with Glimmer, a fresh wound. Adora's self-worth is tied to what she can do for others, their expectations and Glimmer blaming Adora for her mother's death takes a significant toll on her self-esteem. At this point, Adora (and her hero complex) is probably thinking that this is all her fault and she needs to fix it, which is what she tries doing in Hero, only to learn that Etheria is a weapon, etc. 

There's good news, though; the only way now is up. Adora will only pick herself back up, will only awaken her She-Ra powers within when she chooses to believe in herself and when she chooses what she fights for. Razz will have a big part in this since she always seems to come to Adora at some of her lowest points. S1E3 will come full circle because Razz tells Adora that she must decide for herself what is right. And an essential piece of Adora coming to believe in herself and deciding what she fights for will be Catra. In essence, she's the only person that truly knew Adora before she became She-Ra, and Adora, no matter how messed up their relationship grew, loves Catra with all her heart. The tragedy behind their relationship is that their love is so strong— but the actual thread holding it together was (hehe)...shadow weaved. They were torn apart by lies and misunderstandings and the tragic Scapegoat vs. Golden Child dynamic. 

To conclude, Adora's character arc is so tragic because it deals with the fallout and consequences of a life-altering identity crisis. For many people in the LGBT+ community, that is a very relatable thing. I'd also like to add that Catra's journey parallels Adora's in how facets of her identity heavily influenced by the Horde are chipped away piece by piece until, again, Catra makes a choice of her own to save Glimmer. In the past, Adora and Catra were always brought back to each other, not by free will, but external influences. They were torn apart by deception, manipulation, misunderstandings. Now that their hearts are broken in such a way that each half finally fits with the other, now that the infected pieces of the past are gone, they'll learn the truth. Adora and Catra will find their way home when they both choose each other because of love and trust, and when they acknowledge that love. This new bond, this promise, won't be out of survival; this promise will be out of true love, out of two halves of a heart finding their way home and becoming whole again. 

It's beautiful and compelling storytelling not just for individual characters on parallel journeys to self-actualization and finally believing in themselves and their own choices, but for showing two young women on the cusp of adulthood—both who were abused in different ways that molded their worldview, who have different skill sets, who complement each other like light and darkness—learning to love themselves and recognize their love for one another. Like fire and ice, night and day, good and evil, neither can exist without the other. They are a core part of each other's identity. And the fact that the finale episode is most likely called "Heart"? Can it get any more obvious?

Also, fuck Shadow Weaver.

[putschki1969]

Keiko SPICE Interview ~ English Translation

Notes: This is an amazing and very insightful interview. I did my best to translate it as quickly as possible. Please enjoy. Keiko is alluding to having a nephew now in addition to her niece. Ahh, that’s great. I know she loves being an auntie. She also mentions a chronic illness. I know she was having issues with her voice ever since late 2015/early 2016 (mild bronchitis) but I didn’t know it was that bad. Kalafina’s busy schedule probably didn’t allow her to fully recover. So glad she was finally able to recover properly. Anyways, let’s get to it! As always, be aware that my Japanese is by no means perfect so take everything with a grain of salt.

Source: https://spice.eplus.jp/articles/270870

In her first public interview since 2 years KEIKO talks about her quest to find music she can imagine herself creating. Regarding her solo debut she shared, “I liked these songs so I wanted to sing them!”

Three-person vocal unit “Kalafina”. KEIKO, one of the three members who created beautiful harmonies together, released her solo debut single  「命の花／Be Yourself」on May 27. After two years I got to interview KEIKO who is finally launching her solo career. She shared her thoughts regarding those two years of silence and how she ended up creating her new songs. She also told me how she felt about her 10 years as part of Kalafina~

The moment when music was no longer present in her life

――It's been such a long time. My last interview with you was back in March 2018.

Wow, has it really been this long...

――On May 27, you released your debut single「命の花／Be Yourself」 as solo artist, what did you do during your hiatus? How did you spend your time until you started working at your new agency? Did you prepare yourself for your solo activities?

No such thing. For me it was a period where I had to come to a full stop in order to get some clear answers for myself.

――Were there any specific things you wanted to try, a new start so to speak, without having to stick to any schedules?

I spent a lot more time in nature and with my family, there were also some days when I helped out my grandmother with her everyday chores. During these days I talked a lot with her and while we were reminiscing about the good old days the topic of kimonos came up, my grandmother is a “kimono instructor”, you know. “You have always loved kimonos, right?” she asked me one day so I ended up trying some of them on with her help. It’s a very special feeling for a girl to have someone put a kimono on for you. I wanted to provide that feelings for other people, especially my little niece and nephew.  Also, I remembered from all of our previous overseas lives that Japanese kimonos are very popular all across the world so I felt a strong determination and decided to go to a Kimono School, "OK, let's go to school!."

――So you really enrolled in a school?

Yes, I went back to school for about half a year.

――Did you get a qualification?

At first I just wanted to take some classes. But as I spent my time there, I realised that wearing a kimono also meant studying a part of Japanese history. I was so absorbed in my studies and then all of a sudden someone suggested, “why don’t you take the exam?” “Eh?” I was slightly taken aback, “should I really do it?” “You definitely should!” It was kinda like that *laughs* So I got my qualifications by sitting in for an exam in front of very sophisticated teachers who asked me lots of questions.

――This was probably refreshing for you, like a switch had been turned off in your mind?

Yes... At that time I felt like I got to experience all the good and bad aspects of my work and I was able to determine the field and scope of my activities all by myself. 

――I thought so.

When I went to Kimono School it was very refreshing to stay anonymous, I was able to put myself in a state where I was a nobody. There was pretty much no one at school who was close to my age in their thirties. There were either very young people who aspired to get a job in the kimono field or refined older ladies who were wearing kimono on a daily basis. But no one in my age-group.  

――It was an environment where you only had seniors and juniors around you but no peers?

Yes. It felt like a natural environment to start from scratch without having anyone around on my level. Jumping into such an environment was a very relaxing experience. 

――In a sense it might have been a refreshing time for you.

Naturally, when you put yourself into an unfamiliar situation, you will treat everything with a lot of respect. You are also starting to reconsider the way you treat the people around yourself, your attitude towards people.

――So it was a time when you were analysing the relationships and distances between yourself and other people? Within all of this, was there also some time you dedicated to music? For example, did you take singing lesson or anything like that?

Some fans may know this but towards the end of our activities my chronic illness had gotten pretty bad to a point where I wasn’t even able to do lives any more. Restoring my health and giving my voice a chance to recover was a major catalyst for me to take a break, that’s why I didn’t do anything music-related for about half a year.

――So you didn’t even take care of your vocals during this time?

Exactly. I took a complete and total break from music. In those moments when I was resting properly, music was no longer a part of my life.

――Music has always been a part of your life, you have dedicated a lot of thought, work and training towards music. In turn I think that music also provided a lot for you. So how was it to be separated from this integral part of your life? Did you maybe feel sad or a sense of loneliness?

I don't recall feeling any of that but my memories are quite blurry and fragmentary. I really don’t remember the time from our final stage greeting at the Toho Cinema Hibiya until around autumn of the same year. Maybe I was too absorbed with jumping into a new environment and resting my body. Even if I look back at that time now and try to remember what I was feelings back then, I can’t really remember anything of what was happening for about half a year. it’s very strange.

――So there was nothing, just a feeling of emptiness?

Yes, a feeling of emptiness. I guess that’s why I was trying to do so many new things, to fill that void.

She continued to search for an answer until she finally found it - a return to Kajiura Yuki

――After all this time you have returned with your solo debut. I wonder, was there a particular moment that had you become active again and which eventually motivated you to work towards your solo debut? 

I remember the moment clearly when I started to be active again, it was actually a very simple thing. I became aware of the voices of our fans who had always supported us, everyone was wondering, “will KEIKO be singing again?”, “How does she feel about music right now?!”

――Yes, everyone was really curious.

Naturally, as my body recovered, my mind and heart became brighter and healthier too. After the end of summer and autumn, my body was in a great state. From then onwards I felt motivated to finally meet up with people in the industry again. I had a chance meeting with Yoda-san* who is now working together with me as my producer. During our initial talks he asked me, "you have sung songs of all kinds of genres in the past but what kind of music it is that KEIKO-chan wants to sing?” I was baffled when he asked me that because for a moment there I had no idea what to answer… [*She is referring to Haruo Yoda who also produces MISIA. She uses UNIVERSOUL999 STUDIO for her recordings.]

――You just froze up?

Yes, for the life of me, I couldn't answer his question. I wondered, "what is it that I want to sing?" I was super shocked because I was clueless. In that moment I knew I couldn’t go on like that, it was like a switch had been turned on in my mind.

――Not being able to answer immediately, that’s unexpected.

I had always been so invested in music, for all this time I had done nothing but pursue music so it was very shocking to realise that I didn’t have an answer for such an important question regarding music. 

――So did you also start to become active again to find that answer?

After that switch had been turned on, I spent every day in the studio. I turned off the lights and listened to music all day every day pretending like I was at a concert venue.

――You spent all your time at the studio?

Yes.

―― Was it like trial and error? I don't know if you can give a specific name but were there any songs or artists that left an impression on you while you were listening to all of that music?

Kajiura-san for sure.

――Oh…….

No matter what I listened to, I always ended up thinking, “no, that’s not it, that’s not what I want to do.” At one point I thought that I just wouldn’t be able to find anything for me and then suddenly there was one of Kajiura-san's OSTs playing in the background. I was like, ‘oh... that's exactly what I was looking for."

――What exactly was that?

It was refreshing to once again realise that Kajiura-san's music is still able to touch my heart. All this time I had been looking for something "new!" After all, in order to start something new you want to find new music, right?

――I guess so.

But once I thought about it carefully, I realised that both the FictionJunction songs as well as the Kalafina songs were incredibly rewarding and worthy, so much fun and engrossing. Without even realising it, I had spent a decade performing these songs. I could do that because I loved the music. I felt like I was once again thrown back to a time when it was just about that simple feeling. That was the answer I ended up with in the final days of 2018.

――You were looking everywhere for the right answer but turns out the answer was right in front where you originally started.

I was kinda going back and forth needlessly, I felt very sorry about that *laughs*. The answer was right there all along *laughs*.

――I am sure that was a very emotional time for you... That's how you ended up appearing at Kajiura-san’s lives again after a very long break, how were those lives for you?

They were a lot of fun! I kept saying, “I am having a blast, I love this so much!” *laughs* Looking back at that time now, I think the biggest change for me was that I felt this immense joy to be back. I think it was because I took such a long break.

――But your heart was never able to let go.

Perhaps so. I think as an adult it takes quite some courage to put a halt to your life like that. But it was absolutely necessary for me to stop for a while.

――It's wonderful that you were able to gain a new sort of awareness during all of this.

Starting a new chapter like this felt really nice because my past and present got connected. And now I see it as my duty to strengthen my body and mind for a long-lasting music career.  

――When I first asked you how it was to perform again after such a long time and you replied with a huge smile, “it was so much fun!”, that felt very refreshing to me, it made me incredibly happy to see you like that. 

Thank you. I guess I am just so excited to be back at Kajiura-san's lives. It was so nice because everyone was there. Kajiura-san, the other singers and the band-members, they were all there. So I think that’s what made me happy. It might have been very different if my comeback had happened under different circumstances, on a different stage.

――There may have been a different kind of nervousness.

I agree. This way it just felt like coming home, a warm and welcoming home. 

Two songs she decided to sing because she fell in love with the melody

――Please tell us about the release of your digital solo debut single, 「命の花 / Be Yourself」. Let’s start with the time when you found out about the release.

I am currently busy with the music production process so it may be best to ask my staff members about all the details regarding the release *laugh*.

――We have someone from the record company with us here today so let’s ask them, shall we? Is there anything strategic about the timing of this digital single release?

Person in charge: We decided to release an album around autumn for her big solo comeback. But we knew that the fans would be very curious about what kind of music they could expect from KEIKO in the future. So to start with, we wanted to do a little greeting by KEIKO and a digital release with two very good songs, 「命の花」and「Be Yourself」. This way we would get the chance to receive some feedback from the fans.

――I see, thank you for your input. Now back to Keiko, I would also like to know your impression when you first heard those two songs?

Doing solo activities is like starting from scratch for me. I am working based on my instincts, my gut-feeling, right now my premise is "if I like a song I want to sing it."

――You want to be able to like and appreciate the songs.

When I heard 「命の花」 for the first time I was immediately blown away, “OMG, I NEED to sing this!” I fell completely in love with the melody. With 「Be Yourself」it was a different way of falling in love. It’s the kind of song I enjoy listening to as a personal hobby. When I want to get hyped or motivated I listen to this sort of song. I shared my impression with the people around me and then we all ended up deciding that I should try singing it and just match my voice to that type of song.  If you think about it, my way of falling in love with 「命の花」and「Be Yourself」was the complete opposite.  

――Yes, you liked both but your approach of liking those songs was totally different.

That's right. Nevertheless, I love both of these songs. For some reason they resonated with me.

――When it comes to 「命の花」you were also in charge of the lyrics, weren’t you? Did you fall so much in love with the melody that you immediately wanted to write the lyrics?

No.

――Eh! ?

Well *laughs*. I haven't studied songwriting and I have never written lyrics before. So despite wanting to sing songs I never thought I could write the lyrics.

――That’s your attitude toward music.

But this time I was asked, "if you feel like it you could try and write the lyrics yourself?” so I said, “okay, I will give it a try.” But if I hadn’t been able to put my own worldview into words I would have probably asked the composer to do it.

――Do you feel like you prioritise the world views of the music when you are writing the lyrics yourself?

First and foremost I think that listening to music should make you feel good. It’s about the placement of words and how you feel a certain atmosphere. I'm not saying that I dislike writing lyrics but depending on each song, I think I would like to decide whether I want to write the lyrics or not.

――So you will not write the lyrics for everything.

I really don’t think so.

――Is it very difficult for you to write lyrics?

I guess because I was so in love with the song I set some really high goals for myself. It took a lot of time. The production period was in January so the cold weather made it even more difficult for me, I was constantly sitting there and sighing into the cold air. “Phew...” *laughs*

――The cold season is perfect to let out heavy sighs *laughs*.

It really wasn’t easy. But I didn’t see it as hardship. The feeling that I really wanted to sing this song was too strong. At the end of the day I managed to write the lyrics thinking that I wanted to sing this song as soon as possible.

――If you can't write proper lyrics you won’t have a song to sing. 

That's right. "I can't sing it right now so I have to deal with this situation!” So that’s how I spent all of January, singing and writing and lots of sighing, trying to put my feelings into words. Lots of trial and error, “no, this doesn’t sound right, no that doesn’t resonate well here,...”

Everything leads to the feeling of "doing music and having fun".

――When I listened to the song I got this really silly impression, I felt like, "this is all so KEIKO-like, bursting with KEIKO-ness."

Why is that? *laughs*

――You put so much thought into your singing, I was able to hear all sorts of colours and sceneries in your voice, a great mixture. So the first thing that came to mind was, "this is all so KEIKO-like" *laughs*

Hahaha! *laughs*

――Overlapping colours, getting glimpses of the shades below, a multicolour structure. How was it when you actually sang the song?

Rather than writing the lyrics first and singing the song afterwards I wrote the song and sang it at the same time. So when I had finally completed the song, it felt like a natural progression.

――It’s not so much about trying to sing something that is already written but more about finding the right words to express the song properly? 

It's difficult to put all of this into words... I wanted to use sharp sounds and vowels in my singing that would emphasise the images emerging from the melody. This is what I struggled with the most. It took me some time to find a balance where the melody and words would match.

――You wanted them to match?

Yes. I think that's because of my activities as a member of Kalafina, my ears are trained in such a way and used to that kind of harmony.

――Probably because you have heard such a wide variety of singing styles, this made you very particular about how things are supposed to sound like.

When the lyrics are written by someone else and the notes and words are fitting nicely together I never thought it would actually be that hard. But from the very first moment I started to work on my song, I really gained an understanding for the difficulty of writing lyrics yourself.

――When you are thinking about that you quickly realise that what composers and songwriters are doing is simply awesome, it’s out of this world.  

I think it's amazing. At the end of the day I am just a newbie so all I can do is a beginner’s work. You have to be aware of yourself and what you can do. That’s something I have learned, you can’t do anything in life unless you are fully aware of your capabilities. The very final vocal recording was a lot of fun though.

――I think it's great that you can do music and have fun at the same time.

That's right! It's so much fun!

――Do the words and themes used in the lyrics reflect some parts of yourself?

Yes, some parts for sure. But... hmmm... it's difficult. This is my first time talking about writing lyrics but I am not really sure how much I am supposed to say? I guess it’s all hidden within the lyrics somewhere, I think everyone should go and look for those parts.

――I guess it all comes down to the individual interpretation, listeners discover the things that they want to hear?

I agree. There are all kinds of people who are doing their very best every day and working hard. I want to create and sing music for those people. I'm most happy when they can listen to my music and find something that resonates with their own lives.

―― Now I would also like so hear a few things about the second song "Be Yourself." It made me feel great to listen to it while going for a run.

Thank you, I am so happy to hear that *laughs*. I have also done some of my workouts and muscle training while listening to “Be Yourself”, it really got me motivated.

――It's such an exhilarating song!

For me it has this particular vibe of youthfulness. We are all at an age now where youth feels quite far away, doesn’t it? *laughs*

――Well, yes... *laughs*

However, the beat and momentum of the song drown out any sort of embarrassment you might feel, there is a kind of overeagerness conveyed. I wanted to sing a song that you can just listen to without having to think or worry about anything, you can just have a great time.

Maybe one could say she is a “Sound Otaku”

――It's been a while since the release. An official Twitter account has also been launched, it’s something you have never done, right? Have you seen some of the fan reactions?

I am seeing them. But for the most part I am busy with making more music at the moment so I am leaving a lot of that work to my staff members. I am very much aware of everyone’s feedback though so thank you!

――How was everyone’s feedback?

As you mentioned earlier, people were just really happy to hear my voice and bothing but my voice in two whole songs. Others said they were really curious to hear more of my music. I was particularly happy to hear everyone’s impressions regarding my singing voice.

――In the future you will most likely release lots of albums and sing your music live at concerts. Have you already thought about the fact that you will be standing alone on stage then? Have you been imagining yourself doing that?

I have already started to research different ways on how to best express my songs with my newly created singing voice. I am doing image training, taking care of my voice and preparing myself for live performances

――What do you mean by expressing the songs?

As I have said earlier, I started to make music again because I really loved the melody so I wanted to add my voice to it. During the production process I spend a lot of time in the studio and I try to find a voice and sound that fits the song perfectly. This period right now is super fun since I am putting everything on the line, I am taking a lot of risks. Depending on the song, my voice and singing style can be completely different.

――That’s quite something. It’s very stoic of you that you can find so much joy in that.

I wonder if stoic is the right word here... I think “otaku” would describe it better.

――So you are a music otaku?

Maybe a sound otaku? *laughs*. Wondering about what kinds of sounds are echoing in the background while listening to a song...Being curious about the base-line... It’s these things I am super interested in. My infatuation with sound (“otomo”) is very strong. The word otomo is probably made up by Kajiura-san *laughs*.

――It’s a good word. A word that accurately describes an infatuation with sounds. I feel like you are even more infatuated than you used to be in the past.

Everyone around me is making the pursuit of my infatuation possible, that’s why I am so determined. I am just really grateful. 

――After listening to everything you have just said right now, I think everyone will feel the need to check out your songs.

I want everyone to listen to them. I think they are both very interesting *laughs*.

――Speaking of which, is there anything particular you would like to share with your fans before they listen to your songs?

Not really. Everyone should freely decide whether they want to listen or not. And they should listen with an open mind. I feel like my motivations, infatuations and interests are very different from what the fans like. If I share all the aspects and points of my songs that I consider special  then fans are very likely to focus on only that.

――Yes, that’s true, if you provide all this information beforehand then people may end up being biased.

I want everyone to enjoy my music with an open mind, without being bound by preconceived notions.

How she currently feels about 10 years of Kalafina

――I would also like to hear your thoughts on Kalafina. Looking back, how do you feel about the 10 years as part of Kalafina?

My 10 years as part of Kalafina, well, yes, they are the reason I can sing now. It’s the binding link of everything, it’s why I can sing now, it’s why I want to sing, it’s the axis of my very existence. That’s what my time in Kalafina means to me.

――Now that you have released your solo debut single in May all three of you have started your solo activities. How do you feel about Hikaru and Wakana's solo activities?

I want them to do their very best and achieve everything that they couldn’t achieve as members of Kalafina. I think that’s the only thing I can say about that...I think there is no point in comparing our solo activities. I just want them to sing with all their might.

――I think for many people Kalafina is still very important. I am assuming there are quite a few fans who yearn to hear Kalafina’s harmony again one day when they listen to all of your solo works.

Our lives as singers is based on that very harmony so I am honestly very happy that many people are still thinking that way. We put all of our heart into Kalafina’s music and activities so to know that everyone wants to hear that harmony again feels like an affirmation of our hard work, it makes me very happy.

――Last but not least, please share a final message for the fans.

In the past I have talked about all kinds of thing with SPICE. I am happy to once again share my thoughts with SPICE now that I am starting out on this new path in my career. My solo activities as KEIKO have just begun, I am really enjoying making music. I am looking forward to the day when I can sing my songs for you, please look forward to that day as well! Thank you for your lifelong support. *laughs*

[monstersdownthepath]

Spiritual Spotlight/Theme Finale: The Monad

True Neutral Overseer of Creation, the Infinite, and Truth

Domains: Artifice, Darkness, Knowledge, Void Subdomains*: Toil, Night, Aeon, Stars

Concordance of Rivals, pg. 11

Obedience: Spend 30 minutes in meditation, clearing your mind of needs and prejudices. Then briefly wander and observe your surroundings, seeking a source of excess, accomplishment, or emptiness. Spend at least 30 minutes counteracting that phenomenon in some way, such as by creating something where nothing exists, providing comfort to a morose stranger, or thinning the excess population of ants in a field. Benefit: Upon completing the Obedience, select two Knowledge skills; gain a +4 sacred or profane bonus to the selected skill checks.

(*IMPORTANT NOTE: The Subdomains are my best guess; Subdomains are not listed in Concordance of Rivals. Anywhere!)

What a delightful Obedience! Meditate for a bit, and then help balance out the world! Awwww :)

Don’t worship the Monad if you’re a Ranger, or any other class with a Favored Enemy-Esque mechanic, because it won’t end well. I do enjoy that the Monad still allows its followers to pursue wants, though I’m sure that wasn’t the designer’s intention and likely just me toying with loopholes I see in sentence structures. Such as the loophole that you can view just about anything as excess, accomplishment, or emptiness.

Destroy a building, or help build a new one. Steal from the rich and give to the poor, or do the exact opposite (and be hunted down by me, personally). Kill bugs or introduce new ones to an environment. Destroy someone’s most prized possession, or give your own to someone in need. Comfort a stranger, or antagonize an ally whose ego is becoming unbalanced. Help to grow a crop, or take a torch to the whole thing. Really your imagination is the limit here, which could potentially lead to choice paralysis... but this also makes it incredibly easy to just Background Detail it without a need to elaborate. If your DM rudely demands details, you can turn it around and ask them details about the environment in order to find something you could correct. Two can play at that game!

Don’t be needlessly rude to kind or curious DMs, though. That’s not cool!

What IS cool is that benefit. While it’s not outstanding, becoming just a bit better at being a smart guy is always nice. Choosing Arcana and/or Dungeoneering is usually the way to go, but you can tailor your Knowledge bonuses day by day if needed. Heading into the wilderness? Pack Nature. Going into town? Might as well get Local and Nobility! The possibilities are endless! (actually there’s only ~45 combinations but y’know)

Boons are gained slowly, gained at levels 12, 16, and 20. Servants of the Monitors, though, can enter the Proctor Prestige Class as early as level 8. If entered as early as possible, you can earn your Boons at levels 10, 14, and 16. You MUST take the Monitor Obedience feat, NOT Deific Obedience. Monitors grant only a single set of Boons.

Boon 1: Aeon Arbiter. Gain Unseen Servant 3/day, Spectral Hand 2/day, or Gaseous Form 1/day.

Well right off the bat, Gaseous Form is painful to use most of the time. It reduces your speed to an agonizingly glacial 10ft, making it useful for getting into or out of a sticky situation but basically nothing else. You can’t really properly scout with it since you still look like a you-shaped gas cloud, but the defensive bonuses it confers means that if you get trapped in a tiny room or with a monster you don’t want to be with, any space that isn’t airtight can’t contain you. The fact it has no components also means you can cast it while grappled or restrained, so if you think you’ll end up snatched up and/or tied up, surprise your enemies by changing matter states!

Unseen Servant was, is, and always shall be one of my favorite spells in the game, even if it’s not a particularly useful one when you’re facing down a dragon, or even a single bandit. Your invisible buddy can perform all your menial tasks you require since it has an enormous 1 hour/level duration, and there’s a LOT of items that weigh less than 20lbs you could have your pal cart around. If you can’t foresee needing them later in the day, conjuring all three of them at once and setting them out on various tasks will multiply your own productivity immensely. I recently read a cute little guide online that pointed out a shovel weighs only 5lbs and a shovelful of soil will rarely surpass 3, so having a team of invisible workers digging trenches can help fortify any positions you hold. It’s just a fun spell! And it rewards knowing exactly what you can do with 2 Str and understand the limits of the servant’s manual dexterity.

Which leaves Spectral Hand, which is probably the most useful thing on this list, if less fun than UnSe. Using touch spells that aren’t Save-or-Suck is always dangerous when you’re a squishy caster, but Spectral Hand allows you to stay safely at a range to deliver them. With a range of Medium (100ft + 10ft/level) and a decently lengthy 1 min/level duration, Spectral Hand can likely last through one to three encounters to let you slap multiple foes with spells you’d otherwise never get to use. Don’t forget you can also use it to deliver buffs and healing to your allies, too! At 2/day, the only reason NOT to take Spectral Hand with this ability is if you adore Unseen Servant as much as I do, or are already in a situation (like a prison) Gaseous Form could save you from.

Boon 2: Immaterial Flesh. You gain the constant benefits of the Moderate Fortification armor special ability. If you already have a similar defensive ability, you increase that ability's chance to negate the additional damage by 10%.

This means that critical hits and Sneak Attacks have a 50% chance of doing no additional damage, for those who can’t keep track of all Pathfinder’s wild armor enchantments. It’s a boring ability, but a lifesaving one that can shear hundreds or thousands of points of damage off incoming attacks over the course of your adventuring career. Most creatures armed with Sneak Attacks have low damage on their normal attacks, so this ability can mean the difference between taking 4 damage and taking 40. Sure, it’s a coin toss as to whether or not it works, but a coin toss is better than having no way to avoid it at all!

I like the fact that if you’re already fortified or have some other method to dodge precision damage (it works on SIMILAR powers, not just fortification!), it’s increased. If you can get your hands on some Armor of Heavy Fortification, the chance to block the incoming damage becomes 85%.

I’m sad that no flavor details are given regarding what this power does to your physical body. It says ‘immaterial flesh,’ but what does that mean? Do you become a gaseous nebula or crystalline formation like the other Aeons? Do you get all swirly and galactic like the Monad? I wish it gave us more details, because it’d lighten up an otherwise bland but useful ability.

Boon 3: Creative Destruction. 1/day as a standard action, you can touch two creatures adjacent to you, or yourself and an adjacent creature. One takes 150 points of damage (Fortitude half; DC=10 + half your HD + your Cha modifier), and the other regains a number of hit points equal to the damage taken by the first target.

Ever wanted to just reach over and slap someone hard enough to kill them instantly? 150 damage--150 untyped damage, I should clarify--is not something to be taken lightly. That instantly kills most humanoids at that level and severely damages hardier monsters, with CR 16 creatures rarely exceeding 280hp at the highest. Hitting a squishy enemy caster with this power can end a battle faster than Power Word Kill, though with the downside that you must get close enough to boop them on the nose... but you aren’t required to make a touch attack. No, no attack roll is required. The only way this ability can miss is if you can’t physically touch your target, meaning incorporeal enemies are immune, and a DM may rule that certain gaseous creatures are, as well. While this ability may also intend for you to use your hands to do the touching, it simply says “touch two adjacent creatures.” You can technically use this ability by tackling someone, kissing them, or just poking them with your foot!

Now, this ability grants a saving throw for half damage, negating some of its burst potential... But that’s still 75 untyped damage that works against ANY CREATURE you can touch. Constructs, Undead, Outsiders, demigods, Great Old Ones, creatures with resistance or immunity to every element in the game and every negative condition you can think of, anything! 75 is less impressive but still impressive! It’s an enormous chunk to shave off any foe and you can indeed shave it off any foe, and they don’t have the option to avoid or lessen it at all! The fact it bypasses all forms of immunity and requires only a touch is AMAZING, and we haven’t even covered the fact that the second target regains HP equal to the damage the first victim took!

Like... 75 HP is big enough by itself. It can take a normal encounter two or three rounds to deal 75 damage, and you only need one action to undo it. And 150 HP? That’s typically enough to take someone with a d8 or smaller hit dice from 0 to full in an instant and restore anywhere from half to 75% of a Fighter or Barbarian’s health bar. But, here’s something else important: much like the destruction, the healing is also universal! Constructs are notoriously difficult to keep running due to their specific healing requirements, and Undead are similarly finicky, but Creative Destruction’s health transfer is accepted by ANY creature with an HP bar. Even yourself! That’s the best part! Even without an ally or another enemy nearby to transfer the health into, you can siphon it into yourself to beat down a bad guy!

And I suppose you could also transfer your own health into an ally that really needed it, but uuuuhhhhh 150 damage is a lot. That tactic should only be use if you have no other option! 

And all you need to do to obtain all this power? Remove all your prejudices and help keep the world running smoothly. Perfect for a character of any alignment! except probably chaotic evil.

You can read more about it here.

[riding-alpacas]

Best views ever

El Chalten is a funny little village. Imagine your favourite country-side town. Now imagine there is an event on the weekend, let's say a biker event and the whole place is full of bikers. Let's replace the bikers with hikers who are all wearing their walking boots, convertible Columbia pants & Patagucci jackets and you've got El Chalten!

Totally worth getting up at 4am

It's quite obvious that you come here to do three things only: Sleep, eat and most importantly hike! This place only has buildings where you can sleep in, buildings you can eat in and signs that indicate hiking trails. It's a well-oiled machine and for very good reasons. The hiking is world-class and I totally get why everybody's flocking here. But that also means you need to get a little creative if you are after some solitude.

First things first though. When I arrived here, I actually felt like shit. The cold that I'd been carrying around with me for quite some time turned out to be a bit nasty. So I spent the first three days in bed recovering. Because I was bored (and because the first season of Baby Yoda The Mandalorian was only eight episodes), I decided to visualise my tale of suffering. This is how a typical man flu looks like for me:

A typical man flu

Pretty straight forward. A little headache and a runny nose at the beginning, then gradually transitioning into coughing over a total period of 7 days (with medication I’m usually able to make it a week instead).

But the one I caught here was different:

The nasty Patagonian man flu

As you can see it started off very similar and I didn't think much about it. But then it started to step it up a notch and all of a sudden pretty much every body orifice was affected and it all went crazy and in all sorts of directions. Day 7 was when I left Ushuaia, and on day 8 I took the bus to El Chalten by the way - fun times! This thing clearly tried to imitate a typical Patagonian mountain range, so I decided to name it the "Patagonian man flu". Watch out for it and always wash your hands.

Before we get to the more pleasant sections, I also need to spend a few paragraphs with the place I decided to stay at. I don't know how they did it, but Rancho Grande is clearly one of the most overrated hostels I've ever seen on Hostelworld. It starts by not knowing what it wants to be. It's kind of a restaurant with a hostel attached to it. Or is it a hostel with a restaurant out front? And with everything that tries to be two things at once: It's not good at any of the two.

The dorms were underwhelming as they consisted only of a bed and a locker. The bunk beds were tiny and didn't have any rails, the reading lights were so bright they’d scare away Godzilla in the dark, there were no shelves, the kitchen was a joke and the toilets turned into a steam room in the afternoon due to poor ventilation. I definitely expected a lot more at this price point.

The restaurant unfortunately wasn't much better. The bread was dry and the quality of the dishes very average. The common area of the hostel was above the restaurant with a huge void in the middle. I usually go to the common area to hang out but imagine being in a place with a constant restaurant noise in the background. I couldn't stand this for very long, so I saw myself in my dorm most of the time when I wanted to chill. You check in between people munching their Schnitzel and when you brush your teeth before you go to bed you might stand next to a restaurant guest who had one beer too many because the bathrooms between the two audiences are shared. On top of that a disturbing trend continues: I'm not sure if I'm just unlucky but the majority of the people are just super unsocial. They rather hang out with their mobile phone than with actual people. My room mates were the worst at this place: They didn't even tell me their name when I introduced myself to them and they were all just dead silent all the time. What the actual fuck? Anyway, let's move on to the fun part: The hikes!

The first one I did was the Chorillo del Salto trek. It was a short and easy 4km hike to a cute little waterfall and turned out to be the perfect start after spending the previous three days in bed. I chilled out at the foot of the falls for an hour or so before heading back to town. One thing I will miss the most about Patagonia is the water. It's a nice change compared to Oz being able to just dip your water bottle into the closest body of water and drink from it straight away. I think the last time I drank such tasty water was in the North of Sweden a couple of years ago. Apparently this area has one of the world's largest reserves of fresh water and it makes me wonder why we can lay huge pipelines to transfer dirty oil from A to B but not beautiful drinking water.

I like a good waterfall

The next morning I still didn't feel too great but decided that it's time to give the finger to the cold and just move on. In order to avoid the crowds, I left my hostel at sunrise and tackled the first (easy) day hike: 18km return to Laguna Torre. The first 2km were a bit of an up and down and in between I was welcomed with the following views:

Mount Fitz Roy means "smoking mountain" in the native tongue

Once I got over these initial hills, it was basically just a long walk through a forrest until the Fitz Roy river appeared on the left. One more kilometre and I was standing in front of the lake with a great view of Cerro Torre. There were some little icebergs floating in the lagoon that fell off from the glacier behind it. My plan to avoid the crowds worked out perfectly as I had the whole place to myself for about an hour until the first people dropped in. The fresh air turned out to be perfect medication, too. I felt significantly better when I returned to El Chalten which meant that I felt ready for the next day hike.

Look at all these colours

Acceptable view

I wanted to gradually improve the difficulty of the treks, so the next morning I went off and did the 20km return hike to the foot of Mount Fitz Roy (I still wonder why they named it after a Melbourne suburb): Laguna de los Tres. There are a couple of options how you can do this one. I personally don't like in and out hikes very much and this one had an option to make it sort of a loop. You could take a taxi to a place called El Pilar, then hike to Fitz Roy from the north-east and on the way back take the south-east route to El Chalten. The disadvantage is that you can't really see the mountains on your way in and you'd always turn around on your way back because you missed all the views initially. So I decided to do something else instead. I actually started this hike in the dark. The whole town was still asleep when I left the hostel at 5am in the morning but fortunately there weren't many nocturnal animals to expect (other than the last hike I started at night in Australia where I almost shit myself with that much activity in the bush at that time). The idea was to be at a specific lookout 1.5h later in order to observe the sunrise and see Mount Fitz Roy brightened up in gorgeous shiny orange colours. And as you can see from the first photo above, it worked out and it left me speechless for a minute or two. It was quite a sight and an absolute highlight of my trip so far! I don't think anything will get close to this jaw-dropping moment anytime soon.

Continuing the hike it turned out to be a lot more diverse than the one I did the day before. Having the trails completely to myself, I passed glacial waterfalls, mystic foggy sections and heaps of small creeks with crystal clear waters before getting to a popular campsite very close to the final ascent.

Foggy

The people who slept at the campsite were already on their way down when I tackled the final kilometre of hell. IT. WAS. STEEP. It took me about an hour to get up the last 1000m and I hated every second of it but the reward at the end doesn't need any words:

Does this need a caption?

I ended up staying here for at least 3 hours just taking in the stunning scenery and going up and down and all around the lagoon over and over again. It was absolutely beautiful and I can totally understand why so many people come to this place. Fun fact: If you compare the ridge line with the logo from the Patagonia brand you might discover some similarities.

On the way back I took my time and similar to the day before a crazy amount of people made their way to the top now. I regularly stopped at the river sections, cooled down my feet and also took a little detour to another lagoon that again looked so inviting for a dip. But with water temperatures around 6 degrees it was relatively easy to resist.

Beautiful water everywhere

So clean

The last hike I attempted was the 20km Loma del Pliegue Tumbado. It was supposed to be the hardest hike, but I'd rather put it in the middle between the previous two hikes. Other than the other treks in this area, this one actually went up a hill and didn't lead through a valley. With 1000m of altitude it may sound steep but it was evenly distributed across the whole length, so it didn't feel that bad at all. It isn't a very popular hike and I decided to start it at a decent time in the morning (9am). I actually didn't meet too many other people on the way. It started amid rocky shrubland which reminded me a lot of Australia. If you'd put a wombat right here, it would feel like you're in the middle of Australian bush. After a while, the trail led into a forrest which then turned into this weird rocky landscape that felt like from another planet. Quite fun and entertaining.

I want to be there when this rock loses its balance

What planet is this again?

It ended with an impressive lookout from where you could see the whole mountain range, including Cerro Torre and Mount Fitz Roy. From here I had the option to walk up another very steep hill for another kilometre or so but I couldn't see how the view would change dramatically. Lots of effort, low reward - that math didn't make sense to me, so I decided to stay down, have a picnic and just admire the tranquil scenery for a while. Only to fall asleep and waking up from an asshole fly that made it way into my ear. Yes, similar to Australia the Argentinians use this land partly for cattle and with the cattle come the flies... I didn't expect that I'd have to bring my fly net to this trip!

All together now

I'm such an artist

All in all I had a fantastic time in El Chalten with some of the best hiking I ever did in my life. In terms of food I tried the famous Locro which was surprisingly minty but a perfect hearty dish after a long day out. I also found a place that served a great traditional Goulash and one place where I had Guanaco Goulash. After seeing my first cuddly Guanacos on my way here, I now simply had to taste them.

Locro

Tomorrow I will cross the border to Chile to go on an adventure that I was looking forward to for quite some time now: I will walk the O circuit in Torres del Paine and will completely disconnect for about 8 days.

Last Mount Fitz Roy picture, I promise

[lucasrajan]

Time to Rock the Castrum

I just want to say THANKS SO MUCH for the many people involved in this plot, both directly in the operation and who have helped shape Lucas since I started playing just a few months ago. 

Everything I’ve RP’d has helped build up to this in one way or another, if it wasn’t building up to someone else’s plot because they let me in!

Included in this post is background information, a collection of intelligence documents used in RP over the past few weeks, and update to the plan based on RP. Also rules!

TONS TO READ WITHIN. Or not. :D

TIMELINE

For fun, I reflected on a lot of what led up here. This is BY NO MEANS everything, as lot of interpersonal context and character building isn’t mentioned here at all. But it hits some highlights.

Lucas returns to Ul’dah

Lucas begins to conceive a plan to take a swing at the Empire behind their front lines and aid the Eorzean Alliance

Lucas reconnects with Iona Falconstone, who he trusts to help keep him in line

Lucas sells all his goods (For funding!)

Lucas meets Madeleine Pellegrin, who is a nice lady!

Lucas meets Ea Sangrid, whose skill he is impressed with

Lucas meets O’rylah Yelho, whose skill he is impressed with. Her connection to the Order of the Twin Adder and her veteran experience makes her a solid key to legitimizing insurgent action.

Lucas conceives of a plan to high high value targets behind enemy lines and damage Garlean logistical lines. He plans to promise conscripts freedom for their aid, but expects them to die in his plan.

Lucas sells most of his his high value, rare finds (for funding!)

Lucas meets Captain Blacke, whose talents and assets could be critical, especially if Iona trusts him

Iona warns Lucas of the dangers of arrogance. He realizes how arrogant he has been to think a conscript’s life forfeit.

Lucas’ brother is killed on the front lines

Lucas decides he will instead use his sample of a disease he took when curing Ea Sangrid to try and concoct a biological weapon, and unleash it behind enemy lines at those critical points.

Madeleine unwittingly convinces Lucas not to be so cold hearted, and successfully gets Lucas to agree not to take too great of risks.

Lucas is still tempted to try and manipulate the (perhaps void cult member?) person responsible for Sangrid’s illness to work with him on a weapon, but early negotiations fail. In a later conversation, Lucas finds himself reaffirming to Madeleine that he will take care, and at last he completely abandons the notion of using a disease.

Lucas formulates a new plan. He wants to free conscripts at an inconvenient time for the Empire, without them realizing it, and leave a battlefront without critical reinforcements at a key moment. He wants to work with those conscripts to sabotage high value operations.

Lucas reconnects with Jaran Dotharl, whose engineering prowess may be key to his plan.

Lucas and Sangrid scout the mission objectives and build a general plan

Lucas and Jaran scout Caeru for further information, and to steal valuable items that later help shape the first mission’s plan.

Sangrid continues to scout and gathers intelligence that will likely be of value during the operation.

THE ORIGINAL SCOUTING FILES

THE PLAN TAKES A BETTER SHAPE

After a team meeting, the plan for the first mission has shaped up and reflected some of the new intelligence and advantages, as well as the input by team members.

(For Castrum Caeru we are using Castrum Centri in Mor Dhona, but instead of there being a swamp there is a forest and a river as shown on the map)

Objectives:

For Lucas to sneak into the castrum tower and steal intelligence

For the strike team to make a distraction and escape

Plan

Jaran will sneak into the castrum by way of the cliffside and stealth her way into the control room following the same method discovered by she and Lucas previously.

Jaran will kill the crew inside and seal the door to the control room.

The strike team will approach the front gate in disguise as soldiers. Lucas will acquire the necessary uniforms, paperwork and signs necessary to pass as a strike team in service of Garlemald just finished with a counterintelligence mission and seeking passage to the front lines on the next rail car.

Jaran will need to let the team into the base and allow a rail car to proceed to the final two gates, but stop it there.This will likely raise some question about the command room.

The strike team will need to select somewhere to plant explosives and create a distraction to cause chaos.

Explosives can be planted on ceruleum tanks in the north yard.

Jaran has fashioned a device to plant on the stationary machina in the north yard. Upon remote activation it will cause the machines to fire indiscriminately.

Explosives can be planted on supplies bound for the front lines in the center yard.

Once the distractions are “activated” and the explosions begin, the strike team must make way to the command room, as though to help get inside. When a team (likely led by high ranking officers) from the tower arrives for the same purpose, the strike team can attack it.

Once the way is clear, Jaran needs to command the final two doors to open and join the team.

The team can then exit by way of the rail car.

EVENT RULES

(You know, to keep things moving)

Rule overview

Outside of combat we’ll avoid using turns unless things get crazy. Just try to keep things moving but pay attention when someone might have fallen behind.

Outside of combat you may need to roll to accomplish something challenging, such as pickpocketing someone. In combat you might need to do something challenging, like stabbing someone in the face.

In either case, the game’s /random command will be used.

If your character knows how to do what they are doing, roll /random and add +100 in the post right before you do it.

If your character is considered to be quite skilled at what they are doing, roll /random and add +200 in the post right before you do.

The same applies if you are defending against something. NPCs will do this as well.

It breaks down like this:

Lucas: /emote Lucas tries to stab Sangrid in the face. (+100)

Lucas: /random

Sangrid: /random

+200

If Sangrid has a higher result, she posts about blocking Lucas. If she has a lower result, she posts about getting injured in some way.

All characters have 5 HP

A successful attack deals 1 HP in damage. Think of HP as “hero points” and when you run out, you were injured or knocked out or something else happened to take you out of the fight.

A result above 900 that is not blocked will be a crit. Crits deal 2 damage instead of 1. If the roll wasn’t for an attack, it may have some other great result.

Feel free to do more than just “I attack them” in combat. Get creative. Other things besides dealing damage may be helpful. In general, I’ll try to make sure no one feels like their turn was wasted (unless you just roll like shit I guess?)

The DM may also account for bonuses provided by good circumstances or advantages.

Out of combat notes

if your ally is up to something you’re good at, too, you can emote helping them to add your bonus to the roll. Please feel free to post in the OOC something like “Oh, I can help with this!” before you post so the DM knows it’s coming. In other cases it might just be obvious that two characters are teaming up.

If what you’re up to doesn’t have a target to compete against, I’ll establish a number you have to meet or beat with the roll.

Flow of combat

We’ll roll initiative with /random at the start of combat. I’ll post the order in the Discord channel and prompt people if they need. BUT PLEASE have your posts ready to go on your turn so we can haul things along.

On YOUR turn, you can do what you do. Post it and roll.

Then allow time for the reaction. Same goes if an NPC is attacking one of the players.

Then we move on to the next person in the initiative order.

PLEASE feel free to be creative in your posts. Just because it’s combat, it doesn’t mean you can’t interact with your allies and ROLEPLAY (you know, that thing we do). Good roleplay and characterization in combat will be rewarded by the DM with rerolls you can use as needed.

In general, as a DM, I’m in favor of “Failing Forward.” What does that mean? It means if some failure just grinds the RP to a halt, we’ll be more creative. For example, if a door has to be opened, no one wants to wait around while you fail to pick the lock 200 times. BORING. Instead, if you fail but you’re supposed to be good at it, it just means you did pick the lock, but it was one hell of a lock and took longer than it should, or it tripped an alarm.

[e8luhs]

btw got this ask on my classpecting blog (which is basically super dead because i rarely ever have the time/energy to get around to posting on it) but since its cb related and were on a spree here, i wanted to put some info here because well... you know me :3c

yes i made the base of the characters personalities with their classpects in mind. obviously they still developed past that point (quite a few of the characters ended up completely different from how they were when i originally wrote them (rivian, crylus, vergas) because of the original writing being more based around classpects)

also ill write some real quick classpect descriptions for all of them under the cut since i dont want this post to get too long. i dont really want to say exactly why the puzzle pieces fit together because i think its fun to hear about other peoples opinions and also show w/o telling but i also really love classpecting and just some baselines doesnt really count as spoilers i dont think

rivian: witch of void, typically witches are quite a bit more fun and optimistic and generally just all around more Expressive than rivian is but like... youll understand when we get to it. witches are also just Incredibly Stubborn and i think thats quite a rivian thing.

witches have their aspects permeate throughout their life, and manipulate their aspects actively; they bend their aspects to their will, either by going totally against the notions and boundaries of their aspect or by simply modifying it to suit their needs. they thrive in environments where theyre able to go along with their own organized chaos and sense of structure. 

void is about secrets, irrelevance, the enigmatic the mysterious et cetera. i think void is also about hidden interpersonal knowledge. its working on the sidelines and in the background. void players always seem to do the hard work, but are in someone/something elses shadow.

lyreni: sylph of time, honestly lyreni is still basically The Definition Of A Sylph. shes caring, very aware of her surroundings, acts according to what she deems is important, shes patient shes exacting... but she can be a bit meddle-y and pedantic and pushy due to her own anxieties.

sylphs analyze and heal their aspect. they find where people and where their session is lacking in it and essentially poke and prod and go about whichever way they possibly can to fix the lack of their aspect. theyre very opinionated about their aspect and what it means to them and what it should mean to others, and therefore sylphs need to learn to wield these ideas and use them to help others.

time is about time itself and the flow of it, death, progression, etc. not only that, but its about order and structure, singleminded focus, all of which selfimposed. time is more like a chain of events that needs to be kept in order than it is about inevitable events that are out of your control.

kapreo: rogue of rage, i usually say rogues follow two different archetypes (1. they either start with an abundance of their aspect and need to find a comfortable balance, or 2. they start with a percieved lack of their aspect and need to accept it into their life. either way, once both of them grow into those second stages they then redistribute their aspect to others). kapreo is a v2 rogue. rogues also as a whole are very friendly and generous, passionate, determined. though on the other hand, rogues can sometimes have the tendency to isolate themselves from others when they face stress and other struggles.

although both types of rogues have different types of deeprooted insecurity when it comes to their aspect, v2 rogues in particular lack in confidence comes from the fact that they could never handle their own aspect. therefore, they might have difficulties ever allowing themselves indulge in their aspect even when worse comes to worse. as stated above v2 rogues need to learn to accept that their aspect CAN be a part of who they are, and that they CAN handle it.

rage is about skepticality, defiance, boundaries, intense feelings, adrenaline, its putting your foot down and not taking anymore bullshit. its about putting yourself first. rage is also just a very like... sensory aspect. its the burning feeling in your chest that you get when youre in those states of passionate, unrestricted emotion.

sebran: knight of space, You Know Why Lets Be Real Do I Even Have To Say It. knights are boundlessly loyal, committed, reliable and nuturing people, however obviously they have a tendency towards the Emotional Constipation and are constantly concerned with their own sense of usefulness and competence.

knights essentially have to unlearn their obsessive facades and sort of... perfectionism when it comes to the way they come off and the way they interact with their aspect so that they can exploit and wield their aspect. basically knights have to put the metaphorical shield down and take out their sword instead. their facades usually tend to reflect their opposite aspect due to their insecurity with their actual aspect. 

space is about creation, lack of bounds, infinite possibilities, the universe, isolation, loneliness. making something out of nothing. everything is at the universes whims, its unable to be contained. theres kind of a lack of any sort of structure or stability when it comes to space.

crylus: prince of doom, now hold your fucking horses before you say anything okay i know a lot of the times princes make everyone go “Oh god oh fuck” but i can promise you that crylus is a GOOD prince. princes can be incredibly capable and confident, goal oriented, helpful players. on the other hand though YES they can be a bit impulsive, arrogant. princes also tend to be a bit hypercritical as they hold people to high standards but they hold themselves to even higher ones (see dirk) a lot of the time.

princes ghost their opposite aspect and either just straight up destroy or destroy WITH their ACTUAL aspect, as they have strong internal brewing anger and hatred for their aspect and what it stands for. for the most part, princes need to learn how to channel this energy towards only flushing out the genuinely NEGATIVE parts of their aspect, as destruction sometimes isnt inherently a bad thing. in fact, sometimes tearing things down to make new ones is necessary and part of the process. but princes are REALLY high risk/high reward.

doom is about order thats outside of your control. its pre-established rules, guidelines, fate and futility and inevitability. similar to the death card in tarot though, even if doom is about the unavoidable end of a cycle, its also about the beginning of a new one.

vergas: bard of blood, i think its pretty easy to understand Why. originally he was going to be a bard of light which youll still see some remnants of that when his land comes up. bards are faithful in their beliefs and can be very committed to those ideas... but due to that faith they can be at their best just kind of annoying and stubborn to at their worst, antagonistic, unaccomodating, and dogmatic. 

its kind of hard to explain, but bards ghost their opposite while destroying THROUGH their aspect. i usually say that to mean that bards use their own aspect as a sort of vessel of destruction. theyre also incredibly unpredictable players, as if their convictions ever waver theyre likely to go totally off the shits. i usually call that their Bardly Revelation aka when a bards world views and ideas about their aspect are finally challenged. a bards challenge then is to figure out how to take these challenges in stride and become open to new perspectives rather than letting it consume them whole. (hint: a lot of bards have a very hard time doing this. you can kind of figure what im getting at here).

blood is about bonds, strength, unity, responsibility, society, norms. i relate blood also to expectations, and relationships but more like… in the sense of working together as a team. commitment.

hopefully thats vague but informative enough for you to get why i picked their classpects out. as always im really excited to get deeper into the story and actually really Show like Why they fit rather than just give some overly wordy explanations

[edennohebi]

the haze had proven itself to live up to the often applied nickname of hell time & time again; & yet, you had adjusted. you had found a way to exist here, if only by the skin of your teeth. though the serpents were cruel & monstrous, & some of those around you were less than stable -- maybe, just maybe, you could survive & things would go on without too much disturbance.

for that, saeru would laugh & call you an ill-bred fool: a prisoner who had grown far too comfortable in their prison, & needed to be reminded of their place.

it seemed that this would serve as your wake up call to their reality. things had carried on as they usually had in the haze -- up until all of the television sets had begun to flicker alive. previously they had been filled to the brim with nothing more than static: the wash of scrambling grey & the scratching-like noise had been enough fuel to make the ears wary & your sense of intuition slightly unsettled. but it had been nothing more than fuzz, right? it could have been easily ignored; but today, the snakes would not allow such. 

their only use was for that of the snakes & they had never been a good sign. immediate apprehension twists in your core, & your hands feel clammier -- your eyes had no choice: it was not a matter of wanting or not wanting to, the hushed whispers in your ears of the snakes would force you to focus on it until they decided you could stop. every passing second in this never-moving world was torturous, but soon, the screen would twist & shift into focus. however, it was not one of the lesser snakes who appeared on the screen, but the queen & 'king' themselves seated upon their respective thrones.

though neutral in demeanor at first, once the camera locks onto clearing eyes himself his expression tears into a grin: whatever hope that had sat in your heart would soon be torn to shreds.

“my my -- what a magnificent sight to behold ! nothing pleases me more than to see you all stricken with such lost & hopeless expressions: like meager lambs, led along to their untimely massacre. ” he breathes a chuckle, & a sickening tremble teeters into his words -- ‘enjoying it’ was an understatement. “ wonderful, wonderful ! ”

he hums to himself, lids lowered coquettishly. “ of course, your curiosity must be maddening, hm? how you must be starving for answers -- wondering to yourselves, 'what’s this all about?', or perhaps, 'is this the end?' aahh -- please, do continue on with your endless queries ! after all, only i can grant you the knowledge you so seek. you have wandered into a garden, & i shall bestow-- ”

from the background, a voice belonging to none other than the jackal rings higher than saeru’s, excited & growing louder, much to his displeasure. ‘ papa! i wanna do it -- i wanna do it!!! ’ 

before she can be denied, the camera angle is pulled, &. the demonic canine now stares directly into the lens.

‘ what papa was saying is that things are going to really start picking up! everybody seemed to be getting kinda relaxed about the idea of dying, & i guess it’s because you all got used to the idea that mama could just bring you back, all nice & pretty, right? unfortunately for you, that’s starting to get a little annoying, now, so it won’t be happening anymore. you stupid humans shouldn’t forget that even though mama was gracious enough to give, she can just as easily take away. since all of you seem to need a lesson, in it, consider this chapter one! ’

‘ because everyone is just fine with losing their lives all the time, every one of you is going to start losing your senses, too -- some of you won’t be able to see in front of you, or hear who’s approaching from behind. some of you won’t be able to feel it when someone touches you, or have the pleasure of smelling or tasting your next meal. for some of you, that might be easier, & you can live without it. for someone else, though, maybe they’ll be bothered enough that they’ll finally kill someone on their own terms & stop waiting for it to be something as small as a dare? ’

‘ either way, it’s going to get worse the longer you make us wait for someone to kill somebody else, & if you keep doing it in those little games to make sure mama can bring you back, maybe she’ll just stop making everything work right, on your body? i sure hope you’ll be okay trying to run away from your next killer with a clubbed foot, or hold a weapon with fingers that won’t close around the hilt! ’

‘ & for the first person who doesn’t keep us waiting, if you’d like to stir up the pot some more, & make everyone really hate & fear you, we wanna offer a little reward. if you really want to get back to your happy little lives, or to your friends & families, make it a point to come straight to us, so we can go ahead & let everyone know who decided they couldn’t take it, anymore! ’

‘ kekeke..that said, you should probably hurry. someone else might have the same ideas as you, now, & that just means the clock is ticking. ’

before the jackal can continue on further with her rambling, a hand is quick to grab a fistful of her shirt. off the ground she goes, akin to a cat picked up by it’s scruff, & is soon deposited into the queen’s lap with a hiss of "children should only speak when told to, brat."

‘ ppft ... ’

there’s a distinct click of the tongue as clearing eyes comes back into view, expression marginally soured. but he’ll continue: such is his job.

“ what a tragedy, ” there’s a false lament in his tone, uncaring entirely, “ for you to have been fed false information. the child only speaks in half-truths: error laces itself so easily into the words of the unknowing & the idiotic. you see, to assume her Majesty holds any mercy for your pitiful lives at all is rather bold -- stupidly so. gorge yourself on the rush of blood lust & adrenaline if you so wish. it’s quite the spectacle, but ah -- do not expect things to continue on as they had. ”

a hint of a smirk plays on his lips.

“ after all, you had killed so ruthlessly with security, had you not? the assurance that death here was not permanent, that your fates lied at the Queen’s fingertips, & so long as someone died, they would return. ” a snorted ‘how stupid’ follows suit, “ it would be no fun at all, right? imagine: suffering the consequences for your actions & facing the throes of guilt! ”

he laughs.

“ imagination is a useless thing. a pitiful realm of fantasy holds no weight here; instead, you must face your reality. allow me to explain: if you are harmed, our hands will no longer heal. survival is something you must fight tooth & nail for: not something simply handed over. further more, if you are to kill, i advise you be aware of the consequences. prophets once spoke of a belief -- ‘an eye for an eye’, was it? those who kill unashamedly before a crowd will be killed in return -- by my hand. understand?  ”

“ ah, & one more thing. i'm sure none of you wish to be without your most valued of senses. animals who are crippled, after all, are nothing more than easy prey. " he hums. " if you desire them once more, then you must commit murder: & get away with it effortlessly. pure & simple. if you cover your tracks, then you shall be guided towards the gates of freedom: but if you are to fail, then you must pay for your foolishness & mistakes as aforementioned. but the risk is well worth a chance of livelihood again," his head tilts, eyes narrowing in tease. " isn't it? ”

he sits back, though his hand seems to stay within immediate eye-shot. the Queen & Ellen are within view, too: though the Queen’s gaze is fixated upon the screen, her hand runs idly through ellen’s hair, perhaps in pacification. even so, all of their smiles hint at sadism, & the unison in their ‘farewell’ fails to bode well. a moment passes, & the screen becomes void of their image; only leaving you with your thoughts & the mind numbing sound of static on the televisions once more. they have thrown you to the dogs, & now they will serve as spectators in your suffering.

                          WELCOME TO THE NEXT TRAGEDY                                                                   ( The Story of Eyes Rendered Sightless )

UPDATES :

✘ welcome to the first chapter! this one is considerably longer than all the future ones to both get players used to the format and accommodate for upcoming holidays.  ✘ as allured to, characters will lose one of their five senses as result of the queen’s power. we've used RNG to decide what muses lose what sense, and you can find that under the READ MORE below. please note that these senses will be returned once someone is killed and a body drop post is made . ✘ for reference, characters who lost SIGHT are completely blind and extremely vulnerable as potential victims, characters who lost TASTE have a constant taste of lead in their mouth that will not go away as they cannot taste other flavors, characters who lost TOUCH are completely numb and can not feel ANYTHING -- including pain, characters who lost their HEARING are completely deaf and easy to sneak up on, and characters who lost their SMELL just simply cannot take in any aromas. there is a sixth handicap, but such is reserved for the Old Master as you’ll see below. if FOR SOME REASON your muse’s name is not in the list, let a mod know and we’ll add it. ✘ this ALSO means that WE ARE NOW ACCEPTING MURDERER / VICTIM VOLUNTEERS . please message a mod or send an ask if you wish to volunteer, and do not tell ANYONE if you did and whether you were or were not accepted. ✘ you may no longer kill each other in games of truth or dare, kings game, etc. if you do, the murderer WILL be killed by saeru. you MAY injure each other to your heart’s content without punishment, however, but if you go too far and someone dies, your muse will be held accountable. ✘ further, wounds attained from truth or dare will NO LONGER BE HEALED. you may only buy a medkit or hope to god you get medical supplies from the raffle, otherwise you’re on your own.

Shintaro Kisaragi | TOUCH

Toko Fukawa | SMELL

Hiyori “Ice Queen” Asahina | HEARING

Hiyori “Hiyo” Asahina | SIGHT

Samael | SMELL

Tsubomi Kido | SIGHT

Shuuya Kano | SMELL

Elodie Masters | SIGHT

Satou Matsuzaka | TOUCH

Marry Kozakura |  THE ABILITY TO SPEAK

Katherine Baker | HEARING

Henry "Stein" Dobbs | SMELL

Ayano “Charlatan” Tateyama | SIGHT

Kousuke "Amata" Seto | HEARING

Haruka "Pompompurin" Kokonose | TASTE

Vincent Nightray | TOUCH

Ayano “Aya-nee” Tateyama | SMELL

Korekiyo Shinguji | TOUCH

Magdalena Parks | HEARING

Meredith Dacosta | TOUCH

Rachel Devore | SMELL

Uta | TASTE

Rantaro “Ran” Amami | HEARING

Momo Kisaragi | TOUCH

Hisashi "Usagi" Yoshida | SIGHT

Tempo | SMELL

Rosaline Viviani  | TOUCH

Ayano "Nee-Nee"Tateyama | SMELL

Azami | THE ABILITY TO SPEAK

Tsukihiko Kozakura | SIGHT

Shion Kozakura | HEARING

Tomoyo Daidouji | SIGHT

Valentine Damis | TOUCH

Kousuke “Kose” Seto | SIGHT

Momoka Oginome | HEARING

Satou’s Aunt | SMELL

Kitaumekawa Daichi | TOUCH

Charlotte Wiltshire | TOUCH

Kurogane | HEARING

Yue | SIGHT

Touma Kozakura | HEARING

Rin Kido | SIGHT

Garven | HEARING

Frisk | SMELL

Renji Yomo | TASTE

Ian Ortega | SIGHT

[fishdavidson]

Dream Journal 2018-11-18: Fish Davidson Gets A Traffic Ticket, Tries To Make It Go Away

I took a nap today, got some dreams, and woke up feeling refreshed. This never happens (at least the waking up feeling alert and refreshed part), so I’m 100% okay with it happening.

Dream Fragments

A gaming news network aired a documentary about the development of the game Shovel Knight and talked about the difficulties in porting it to the NES (though in real life the game couldn’t be ported to the NES because it’s just too much for the system to handle). They talked in detail about the limitations of the chipset, and it was really interesting if you have an engineering background. But for some reason, the edges of the screen that I was watching this documentary on was covered in teeth. Related Fun Fact: The real-life NES uses the MOS 6052 chipset, but it used an 8086 in the dream which is an even slower and older processor.

Enough Engineering Babble! Let’s Talk About Fish Davidson Breaking The Law!

Have you driven in downtown New Orleans before? It’s a terrible place that is full of vexing intersections and unnecessarily-complicated traffic flow. I had the misfortune of driving there at the start of this dream, and I’m trying to navigate a particularly confusing intersection with multiple turn arrows, several different one-way streets, and signage that had to have been placed by someone intentionally making the signs as difficult to see as possible.

Imagine a wagon wheel with about a dozen spokes. The center of that wheel where all the spokes intersect is the intersection I’m trying to cross. According to the GPS, I need to make a right turn, but all the lanes except one have invisible signs that say “No Right Turn” and they’re clustered so close together that it’s impossible to tell which lane I’m actually supposed to be turning on.

To make matters worse, there is a traffic light that is about to turn red. I’m stuck in the intersection behind an equally confused person, so I try to avoid blocking traffic by picking a lane and praying that it is the correct one. It is immediately clear that I chose incorrectly, so I make a U-turn (also probably forbidden by invisible signage) and see blue police lights flashing.

I panic and leave the car. Somehow I end up at a bus stop holding my bicycle helmet and pretending to be a pedestrian. Maybe if I act cool, the cop won’t notice me? He comes up and starts asking the other people waiting for the bus if they saw the person who made an illegal right turn and abandoned their car. None of the people saw who it was, but then the cop turned to me and asked if I saw who did it.

And I picked the wrong day to start being honest.

So I tell him that I was the owner of the vehicle in question, and the cop thanks me for my honesty. And then rewards me for that honesty by giving me a ticket. My eyes get watery with tears. A full-on panic attack is imminent. I plead with the officer to let me off with a warning because this is my first ticket.

He is moved by my display of emotion, but still gives me the ticket. I whine some more, he offers to call his precinct to attempt to void the ticket. There’s a catch, though: if the wrong person answers the phone, I’m going to be stuck with the ticket. If anyone else answers, there’s a 50/50 chance that the ticket could go away.

Those are better odds than just a few minutes ago, so I agree to the terms. Cop makes the call, and I avoid getting the lady who would immediately refuse to void the ticket. Hooray!

Now the cop has to talk to a bunch of other people on the phone because technically the ticket is already in the police databases. He’s on hold for a while, and I’m absentmindedly fidgeting with my bicycle helmet (which is occasionally making loud screaming noises for whatever reason). While the cop is reviewing my drivers license information, he tries to make small talk.

“I see you live in [redacted] county,” he says. “Is that close to [redacted city name an hour away]?”

“Yeah, it’s in a different county, but it’s not too far away.”

“Oh, well my wife works for a company that makes water sculptures and they have their headquarters over there.”

“You mean Indoor Pool Supply?” I ask, somehow knowing all the details of an obscure company that probably doesn’t even exist in real life.

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Cool. I hear they do good work.”

This was the point where I woke up, but considering how I was doing a pretty good job of de-escalating the situation (screaming helmet notwithstanding), I’m pretty sure I would have gotten out of that ticket.

----------------------

Header image provided by studiostoks

[ravenpie52]

With Domicile’s Conclusion:

I’m writing a wrap-up of sorts here, explaining all the lore and background info for the series (and where it might go?) in a fully transparent manner. Don’t read this if you want to puzzle some of it out first after finishing the series. I’m posting the art assets I drew at the bottom too.

Prepare for a long one.

1. Series Lore

First off, the most important thing. Raven is not a true “Player.” I categorize Players as beings separate from mobs that sorta just, appear (though they all have their own backstories). They have a lot of power at their fingertips. They can manipulate the world drastically, travel between worlds, and set up worlds as “hubs” (servers) for others to gather in. The existence of a Player influences the world around them. Worlds are literally made for Players, and can barely exist without them. 

So what happens when a world lacks a Player? Well. Mob AI is fundamentally changed, for one. They do not aggro on beings that aren’t mobs unless provoked. Therefore, all hostile mobs ignore Raven’s existence because they are not recognized as anything worth paying attention to. Things also got messy and the world deferred a sort of “awakening” to those of the highest “power,” Evokers, in order to try and pick up the slack in a way. (Though the world doesn’t have thoughts, I’m just personifying it for ease of explanation.)

Evokers in Raven’s world have a higher “sense of self,” and in doing so took on a fraction of Player abilities (building/exploration/crafting skill and world manipulation). Many of them banded together into the Evoker Collective to try and figure out what’s going on with the world. There are legends of “Players” that all sapient mobs know, and yet....there is no trace of one...

Eventually, one such Evoker got the idea to try and MAKE a Player, or at least, create an entity that could try to fill the void. Enter our dear shapeshifter. Unfortunately, Raven either accidentally killed both their creator and work partner in their eldritchy infancy without realizing, or scared the two off for good. I’m leaving that for others to decide. Thankfully they started learning life lessons from passive mobs and ended up in a village in a form where they were mistaken for an actual Player and could learn about it.

Secondly, in a broken world, the connection between the dimensions is super fragile. This is why Raven didn’t get any dimension-related advancements. They don’t exist. All knowledge regarding the Nether and the mobs within was left vague or nonexistent and Evokers had to figure it out themselves. At most, villagers know of a far off place that is very warm and red. And they know of a hard, purple rock, that when made into an upright square...does something... Only Evokers actually ended up getting there.

When it comes to the End, that’s a complete mystery, though they did find a stronghold containing a portal. Unfortunately, they didn’t know enough about Endermen (named “Warpers” instead) to figure out the whole deal with the frame.

There is no Enderdragon. With no Player to defeat her, she does not exist, nor do her pillars, her crystals, or her egg. And with no dragon to defeat, there are no End Cities. The only thing that exists is the anchor point, the bedrock fountain.

IN COME CYAN AND GREEN: residents of The Liminal, the space between worlds and dimensions. You know that dirt screen you see whenever Minecraft is loading, showing an error message, looking through options, playing the credits, etc.? That’s a place. You can fully enter it only after hopping into the fountain the first time in a world. All those other times you’re kinda just a blip. 

It’s implied in my custom End Poem that it is possible to acclimate yourself to The Liminal better and eventually stay there without being pulled away. Furthermore, it is being said that Raven has the possibility to join the ranks of Cyan and Green since Raven’s also somewhat detached from the universe (due to being made from its own cracks). However, that will take, like, hundreds to thousands of years.

Cyan and Green gave Raven a boon after being impressed by their ability to be, well, a person. They gave them the knowledge and ability to world-hop, like Players, so Raven can now go to other worlds as well as servers and isn’t stuck in a broken one, hooray! All the other worlds they visit will be actually made for Non-mob Beings, so there’s proper mob aggro, regular dimension stuff, etc. There’s gonna be a violent few lessons Raven’s gonna have to learn fast. Good thing the other ability that Cyan and Green gave Raven was the ability to respawn in other worlds. Yep! Raven was unknowingly in hardcore mode this whole time and didn’t realize there was anything different!

Despite getting a slight power boost, Raven is still unable to shapeshift properly. They can only get forms slightly right. They worked really hard to maintain their zombie mimicry at this level of finesse (even if it isn’t perfect), so they’re unlikely to change shape unless it’s necessary or accidental. People are more receptive to Raven in this form, after all. This is my excuse for why Raven doesn’t shapeshift in-game at any time....there are no mods for this.

2. Out of Character Stuff

Here’s a previous OOC post I made regarding some of the filming stuff.

Domicile was always meant to be Raven’s backstory. It’s something I could point to when people might go: “What’s their story?” It was just for fun, but I put a lot of work into it, and it has felt very rewarding. For example, I’d been trying to figure out how to present the flashback of episode 6 and the custom End Poem for episode 7 for aaaages and getting those all settled has been great.

If you’re wondering why I have silent moments for montages in my videos and didn’t see the answer anywhere else, there were times where it just didn’t work out to use the webcam microphone I was borrowing, or said microphone messed up the audio (I’m FINALLY getting a replacement mic in a few weeks). At a certain point I decided it was a feature to have montages with only in-game sounds. Like, asmr or something.

None of the mods I installed changed generation. Everything that looks different from vanilla I made happen in creative mode. I made the mini-mansion in the roofed forest, the temple topper and stairs for the stronghold, fixed up Hometown to be nicer, and got rid of all the obsidian End pillars with creative mode punches. The pillars still stick out of the bottom of the island, I couldn’t be bothered to do that too. ( >3>)

One of my rules for the RP was to keep all knowledge in-universe. Raven had to only know things they could conceivably find out from villagers or their books. (And sometimes they just straight up forgot some of it.) After this, there’s gonna be a time skip where Raven learns a whole bunch of Minecraft basics from faceless Players. So in the future I won’t have to pay quite as much attention to what gets called its proper in-game name or not.

Also I had to hold back from singing any real life song lyrics to myself and I couldn’t give anything a name that alludes to our world. The orange tower is called Traffic Cone in my head but Raven can only call it a tower. That sort of thing I can be way more lenient with from now on.

I want to make future RP content with my character, but I have no friends who are fitting that particular niche to roleplay with me for a multiplayer series. I’m keeping an eye out for potential roleplay servers and such for outside of video RP. But at this point, I think that if I am to make a multiplayer video series, I’m gonna have to wait for someone to approach me with an offer. 

Though, I’m still gonna post art of the character here, no doubt.

By the way, since this is working as an archive of sorts, here’s the link for the written piece that started me on the track to making the series. I’m thinking of changing the canon time Raven spent wandering around the tundra thinking they were a mob to be a bit while longer than a day.

More stuff involving my Minesona can be found under the #Domicile tag, but later I’m just gonna tag all new stuff as just #minesona.

3. Art Assets

Here are the assets I made for the videos, excluding the blurry picture of the Evokers, that one’s kinda not worth much, lol. I’ve posted the first two elsewhere, but thought this would be a good archive.

The thumbnail:

The title card:

Raven falling from The Liminal, losing their form a bit after Green and Cyan’s influence and Raven’s emotional bewilderment:

(You can really tell that I loosely traced a reference photo of someone falling, lol. I have no shame, this pose rocks.)

For fun, here’s the skin I use! I didn’t make it, but I’ve used it for years, so it’s me now. >:) 

Here’s the Skindex link.

Once again, thank you all so much for anyone who watched the series. Every view means a lot to me. I’m so happy that people watched my stuff and liked it. Thanks for reading this! <3

[elderothpersonal]

Admission

I think I finally realized why I’ve kept this Tumblr account, despite only using it to scream my grievances into the void. It’s for me to use it as a reminder of what I’m trying to do. And in order to truly do that, I need to put out there a secret I have kept from every single person I know: I’m an addict. In 2016 something traumatic happened and it changed not only my life, but who I was on a fundamental level. I no longer cared about most other people. I no longer cared about myself. I tried to end my pain physically. I still remember the feel and sound of the trigger clicking, but (fortunately) the bullet was a dud. Despite how grateful I was at surviving my suicide attempt, I still hurt. I didn’t wish to die anymore, but I didn’t want to hurt anymore, either. So I turned to alcohol. It wasn’t much at first. Just enough to get that “feel good” buzz. But before I knew it, I was taking shots like I was 21 again, being grossly intoxicated every night. I easily spent hundreds of dollars on booze just to numb the pain I was trying to ignore. I was re-introduced to weed while working at Subway. I hadn’t had it in almost ten years, but I no longer had a reason not to do it. So I thought, “What the hell, why not.” I used it sparingly, enjoying the new, yet nostalgic, sensation that being stoned gave me. Everything was hilarious. Food tasted incredible. Any pains that I felt faded into the background. Then I got a job at a bank, and I had to clean up my act. I stopped smoking and passed the drug test. It was also at this time that I moved into a townhouse with some friends, so things were starting to look up. But I still hurt. Nothing I did seemed to ease my pain. I thought that I couldn’t smoke anymore, so I went back with Option A. My roommates didn’t exactly deter me from drinking, as they partook as well. I was smart enough to not get drunk on worknights, though that didn’t stop me from taking a shot or two nightly once again. One night we had a small gathering of friends, and once more I was re-introduced to weed. I partook, enjoyed the hell out of it, and ended up buying some from one of my friends a week or two later. I figured if I kept showing up to work sober, I wouldn’t raise any red flags, and I could have some fun on the side. And so during the week I would take one or two shots a night, and on the weekends I would get high. I think the first time I realized I had a problem was when I smoked on a work night, and I was still feeling the after effects of it at work the next morning. I had acted irresponsibly the night before, and I knew it. And I didn’t care. My growing lack of effort at work led to being written up more and more, until I decided I would just quit instead of being fired, which was looking more and more likely. I moved back in with my parents about a month afterwards. I still had some weed with me, and I dared to partake in some while they were asleep in bed. Before, when I was younger, I would only do it at home when they were away on vacation, to ensure they never caught me. But now? As the weeks turned into months, I smoked more and more at night, until one night, a good six months later in a stoner stupor, I realized I had been smoking every single night. It got to the point that I had difficulty sleeping without it. I lied to everybody I talked to online, telling them I was going to bed early, but I just wanted to be left alone while I was high. I was ashamed that I was behaving as such, and I didn’t want them to know I had fallen so hard. I didn’t want my family to know. I didn’t want my IRL friends to know. I felt like I was leading a double life, and I felt like I was betraying everybody that believed in me. But I didn’t stop. For two years I kept going, smoking nightly to numb myself to the hurt that, itself, had been fading for a long while by this point. In the past year I’ve tried to take action. Tried to get myself to stop. Put my focus on goals I wanted to achieve for myself, make myself a better man. But I relapsed every time. “Just one more gram.” I’d tell myself. “This’ll be the last one, then I’ll set myself right.” But it never was the last one. Up until one month ago, I kept getting more, and smoking nightly. The last time I got high was two weeks ago. Not by choice, but because I ran out. I told myself that if I passed my Security+ exam, that I could buy some as a reward. So for three days I remained sober, kept my head clear for the exam I studied for over a year for. To my genuine shock and surprise, I passed the exam on my first attempt. That night I laid in bed, contemplating. “I did it,” I thought. I set out to do something that was genuinely challenging and difficult, and despite my constant belittling of myself, and constantly being drugged up for two years, I accomplished one of my life goals. For the first time in so many years, I felt like I was genuinely worth something. My mind went back to the weed I had promised myself. Once more, to my genuine shock and surprise, I thought to myself: “No. There are more important things happening now.” I have my Security+. All that effort I put into getting it will be wasted if I resume smoking like I did. I imagined how disappointed my loved ones would be if I told them I got a dream job, only to have it denied because I have THC in my system. I can’t do that to them. I WON’T do that to them. Not anymore. I was just a lazy stoner bum for the past two years, but now I have the chance to truly make something of myself. I don’t want to waste it away getting stoned. I sincerely have nothing against weed, and one day I would like to have some again. But that is not what I need to do now. More importantly, that is not what I WANT to do, now.  I still have urges to buy some. I still have thoughts and desires to partake again. But in writing this, I feel more in control of myself than I have in so very long. They always say the first step in solving a problem is admitting that there is one in the first place. I cannot give up control. I will not give up control. I am two weeks sober, and I am finally in control of my life.

[mrsavis-blog]

Whompdie whomp whom

I’m just going to jump straight into it...  I’m not 100% I’m going to get that job, and To be Honest... I’m cool w/ that. I mean, I would love to get paid very well for a Server. But I was not AT ALL looking forward to that commute, and nor am I sprinting towards work-life. I’m your typical creative soul... I need a lot of freedom and space & ability to move at my own pace. *Medium sigh*

But just to not jinx it either, they did tell me I have about 24hrs. I doubt they meant it literally but more figurately ... like in general, if I don’t hear from them at all today then it’s a “No thanks”... Hmmm did companies low key invent ghosting??? Because it’s totally the worse to apply to places, get an interview, and then be left hanging... It’s like thanks for financial blue balls... 

I don’t know about other people, but I take ALL relationships serious, especially ones that involve my finances. I do my homework before I even apply, full money background search on the J.O.B. I know how much I will be paid after taxes before I can even introduce myself to the manager. I already know exactly where my 1st FIVE checks are going, I know what day to look forward to on paying off my debt. Ect. ect. ect.  ... I’m not counting the chics before they hatch I’m just drawing up blueprints for their coop, and trying to set up deals for where I’m going to sell their eggs..

I don’t go overboard or anything... 

BUT D@MN I hate sitting around for anything & anyone. I’ve learned how to cope with an extremely short patience at a young age... Distractions + productiveness is the key.. Got to constantly be prepared with ways to fill up those life-sucking, nerve-wracking, black hole voids of “waiting on something/someone”. This is one of those times

I started last night... I just got up out of bed and started cleaning the kitchen... Cleaning is the best, absolutely one of my favorite ways to relieve stress & anxiety. This is why:

1. You get instant gratification; EVERYONE loves being in a clean environment. It’s like the aura of the room brightens and hums a silent soothing uplifting song that your spirit vibes to. 

2. I’m good at it: I get the details of a room done, and efficiently so. If you’re going to do something do it all out. I literally clean from the ceiling to the floor, and not only that but I sanitize & cleanse. Cleaning is just removing debris and making an area look less cluttered & disorganized or neglected. Sanitizing is when you actually kill the bacteria & viruses that threaten us (and I am a big Germaphobe so this really matters!). Cleansing is when you clear out bad vibes, I prefer to let in a lot of natural light, smudge, pray, and air out my place. 

3. It’s easy to do and can do it anywhere at any time. 

4. It makes life smoother. I LOVE just being able to go about things with minimum resistance.  For example, I don’t like having to look for things and or clean something when I need it at that moment. 

I feel like I’m beating a dead horse, you get the idea...

I started cleaning my kitchen and taking care of my loved ones... Going out my way to give them a great hot meal, and relaxed/ clean space to come home to after working a double. Their bed was ready, the food was hot & how they liked it, their favorite show was waiting for them to press play, their drink was poured, and no one was bothering them. 

Then after they were set, I began getting things ready for the morning... Putting out clothes to take my lil one to daycare; having their favorite morning snacks, their backpack, and outfit set up. 

The morning came & went, and I still continued to try to keep my mind off of staring at my cellie with busy work. I Cleaned someone else’s bathroom and I HATE DOING THAT. I’m talking about I scrub the DOG SH!T out of the toilet so well it looks got d@mn fucking new... You can see your reflection, and I even polished the faucet and bathroom appliances... 

EVERYTHING that can be washed is, sh!t I even rewashed sh!t that’s not even 3 days out of the last load.. I’m still thinking of other sh!t to clean...

It’s almost 3pm and that is just about 24 hrs ago from when I last spoke to the restaurant and I’m getting very anxious. 

I know there are other places I can apply & get a job. But I lowkey want this one because of YES! the money. But also because I feel like it would push me to WAKE THE F#CK UP! Get my life back on track to what I felt & remember how it was before my Dragon came.

There are a ton of things I know I out to be doing, and this would help force me to work on my self-discipline. Because there would be rewards (mostly in the form of a check) and consequences towards steering off the path towards my goals. 

OH THE F#CK WELL!! It’ll be what it’ll be lol... I just feel like if I think too much about not getting it then I’m somehow influencing the universe into not giving it to me, but also the opposite. That if I know I have it, that I’m lowkey manifesting it into existence, and I’m a little hesitant, to be honest. I’m not fully ready to get into all of that extra mess that comes with it. Even though I know it’s past time and will be no perfect job anytime soon. I’m kinda convinced that if I just chill and don’t feed either thought, then what is meant to be will be, and I will know for sure then what needs to be done. Lol regardless I’m getting a job, either way, just not fully convinced this should be the one.

WHAT I AM F#CKING TIRED OF THOUGH... IS ALL THESE D@MN TELEMARKETERS CALLING MY GOT D@MN CELLPHONE!! 

I’m over here about to flip out EVERY time my cellie rings, and I answer to some dumb sh!t. I have no idea what the phone number will be if they call me, so I basically have to answer all the calls. I keep blocking them, and they just call back with different numbers. 

Moving onwards to other topics, I am in a perplexing situation like constantly actually lol. But seriously I don’t feel like I have total anonymity and can’t be totally free with things my spirit truly moves me to say... So I’m thinking of starting a new Blog that’s a Satire of my own; I will mix in a lot of fiction with bits of truth... It’ll be obscene and vulgar without any censorship so you have been warned. I don’t know if it’ll be any good, but it will give me more practice on my writing skills. Unlike this. I don’t know exactly when I’ll actually work on it, but I usually get what I want to do done...soo eh.

On top enjoying allowing myself to blossom on here, I do very much have to find someone to sell my time to, doing tasks in exchange for tips. I need to go through my emails and the handfull of job sites I’ve joined over the past couple of weeks. It’s all rather a little bit depressing in its own, so I find myself avoiding the f#ck out of it all. Especially since our financial situation has gotten better enough for us to breath again instead of drown. But the sensation of suffocating is still wavering over me and clinging to my spirits, that I can’t help but constantly think about what I NEED to be doing.

I’m not procrastinating entirely I am checking my emails, and staring the ones to go back and open. I did check out another Fine dinging restaurant up the street from us and plan on filling out their application later this evening. I even did 3 interviews and take a competency test... Again I say I’m not sprinting... I’m kinda just moving barely into sparting gear (It’s not walking and it’s not a full out jog, it’s when you extend the length of your gait enough to be moving fast but not exerting yourself). 

I am working on self-discipline but forcing myself to not focus entirely on just one thing, and burning myself out. As well as see things through and finish things I’m having a hard time getting back into gear with.

It’s been a journey to say the least...

... One way I am planning on going about helping myself get organized to get the most out my time and get all I want to do crammed into a day... Is to go about these sessions/ entries at a more organized way. It’s fun just free-falling through words and jargon in my head, but the process is slow and time-stealing... I will start taking notes of the things I think about posting about throughout my day. They will either make the cut and be somehow smoothly discussed on here. Or they will be a bit too extreme or too vulnerable for me to freely discuss and placed in my Satire peace... There will be more of an intro kinda deal & an outro, and of course, there will still be MORALS... I will be basically just bullet pointing them, and then going in at will... So there’s still some form of free-falling, but no time lost one what to type up next, or getting lost in thoughts, or looking for the right GIF.

With that being said I do have to close out... So the MORAL OF THE SESS IS: “Don’t let rejection or the fear of rejection stop your life. Know your way of coping and find healthy outlets for your anxieties & stress. Don’t ever stop improving or believing in yourself, with that being said give yourself a break here & there.” .

Peace.