#it's 3 AM!!!!! go back inside!!!!

[sonofsin]

actually it'd be great if an asthma attack would kill me about now

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i love cakes filled with sprinkles. i think all cakes should bleed when you stab them

[octoagentmiles]

bonjour I want and also 99% believe in there being a chance of above and beyond finally dropping the L word (lieutenant) on Kwazii.

here are my contenders for who I think could say it:

Barnacles: I can also 1000% see him calling him his "first mate"; mostly to humour him- but still. I can see Paani or someone else asking what the heck Kwazii does and for him to explain.

Tracker: This dude calls Barnacles "Captain" and "Sir" despite literally being childhood BFF's with him. I can vividly hear him in my head calling Kwazii the L word and Kwazii being awkward about it because he's the only one who does it-

Natquik: Less likely than the others, but I'm ranking him higher simply because I can see him being the one to ask Barnacles, and/or making a random comment about it.

Calico Jack, but he might say "first mate" instead. Other than that I can see him having a Moment™, where he's praising Kwazii and naming all the things he's done that he's proud of him for.

Tweak: Same thing as Barnacles; I can see someone asking, and her explaining it. OR—and this is wishful thinking—I can see her having a Moment with Kwazii as well, talking about responsibility or something.

Dashi: Responsibility Talk™, but Dashi edition.

Peso: Same thing as Barnacles/Tweak again BUT I can also see him like?? casually bringing it up?? if they were to have any character randomly say the word, only for them to never address it again—I can see it being Peso lmao

Paani, but only as an echo. ie: someone else says it and he goes "ah yes lieuten—LIEUTENANT???????" in shock xD

Ranger Marsh. I can't explain this one but I can feel it in my bones. and really that's all you need ain't it?

I can't see it being Kwazii himself at all—because I firmly believe the reason he's never introduced himself with the word is not because of some pirate reason (prefers "first mate", feels imposter syndrome bc of his identity, etc), but because he struggles to pronounce it. like how he has trouble saying "symbiosis" and "aggregate anemones" etc. Thank you for coming to my Tedtalk.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Misc. photos from the past year or so ~

[eveninglottie]

so. I think I wrote a book.

[unicornofgt]

alright, i have come to the decision i am keeping this blog up as an archive and leaving the gt tumblr community for the foreseeable future.

when i made my post about chamomile-g-tea’s damaging treatment of my story, gtms, my goal was to acknowledge the situation so i could hopefully move forward and restore gtms/my blog as mine again, without her influence. and while i anticipated backlash, some of the responses were just...downright disturbing. lots of comments echoed a victim-blaming sentiment that i am responsible for the emotional and creative damage done to me by another person because ‘why didn’t you just say no or tell her to stop?’ not only does this ignore the several attempts i did make to express discomfort and set boundaries—which were not respected—but even if i didn’t manage to express a ‘no’, that doesn’t make what happened ok; it doesn’t erase the year of crippling pressure and guilt i lived with and still struggle to shake daily. realizing that so many people in this community think otherwise is just...disturbing. it’s disturbing. that’s the only word i can think to use.

the response to all this does not make me feel safe being here—that’s what this situation has unfortunately showed me: that the audience i hoped to allow to view my reclaiming process would also contain the same crowd who make me feel so unsafe—and why the fuck would i let those people see something as personal as that? why would i let them see anything? it’s made me understand i can’t continue to heal myself and my writing if i am posting it for other people, especially harmful people. and even though it turned out this way, i’m glad i gave it a shot; that i made that post as an effort to see if it was even possible or worth it to restore this space—even if the answer was no! absolutely fucking not!—because it saved me from even more time spent sharing my work with people who do not respect me as a person or a creator. i’m glad i tried, however much it sucked, because it allowed me to understand: it is not just one person in this community i feel unsafe with, but a solid percentage of the community at large that i just cannot healthily engage with, and no amount of blocking will fix that.

but of course this is not the only situation that showed me this community’s true colors—the dismissive or outright aggressive response to the calling out of racism in our tropes has also been deeply disturbing. to clarify, there is no problem in identifying with and finding comfort or catharsis in problematic tropes such as the pet trope, but there is a problem with using that comfort to make others feel unsafe and speak over people of color. and the solution to this trope problem is very simple—generally apply critical thinking skills to the media you enjoy, and tag your shit properly (dead dove, particularly when the giant owner/abuser doesn’t face consequences and/or if the abused/abuser fall in ‘love’—dead dove is not actually currently used in this community, that’s the problem). but rather than taking this as an opportunity to listen and improve, it was instead used as a chance to lash out at and make clear that poc are not welcome in this community and come secondary to the feelings of white creators and readers.

over the last few years, this community has fostered and been exposed for bigotry such as terfs, ableists, racists, etc, and especially in the current political era, this is no longer a community i want to share my work with or even just lurk in. and i know on the surface this community seems progressive, but take a better look and you’ll find members of the community doing and saying…questionable things, or keeping quiet and enabling their friends who do and say questionable things because they would rather be passive and polite than be genuinely kind and compassionate through active accountability.

of course this is the risk you take interacting with any person ever—but it’s especially taxing to look around at such a small, close knit community you know is riddled with these problems and wonder if the people making innocent posts are actually harmful; if they prioritize their comfort over the safety of marginalized people, if they even see you as a full person, and for me, personally—if they are willing to overlook consent to blame you for your trauma and defend the person who inflicted it. it’s taxing to explain basic basic concepts to strangers over and over in a place that prides itself on being a safe space, where people just have fun and mentally escape from irl hardships. it’s taxing to ride out shitty, hateful treatment when you are just simply one person (voluntarily providing free services btw) with only so much energy and fucks to give. it is not worth the strain it puts on you as a person, nor is it your responsibility to sit there and accept it, and i am not the only creator in this community who feels this way. we are fucking tired.

quite simply, this is not a community i feel comfortable participating in or sharing anything with. and that’s a shame, because there are wonderful, creative and caring people here who i have enjoyed sharing this space with, and maybe someday i’ll give this community another chance, but currently it’s just not worth the time of day. and i want to make it clear: my leaving is not simply because of just one person or just one situation—that i could handle—it is the community itself that is the root problem; that continues to be harmful, in multiple contexts—that is the reason why i and several other creators are leaving for greener pastures and more enjoyable communities—or just simply for a fucking moment’s worth of peace, because lord knows you won’t find it here.

[nnugatoryextravagance]

attenjtion freaks

its me

[keeps-ache]

well! that project's out of my brain now :) now what

[birdmenmanga]

I think it's so funny that the person who I bought the gwitch stickers from was like "yeah I think these are the last ones for suletta miorine and elan-4... I've got a couple more left of guel and. uhm. well. there's so much shaddiq left... nobody wants him......." and I think it's HILARIOUS that michealis also sold horribly. unmarketable king. I'm just like him. no i still didnt buy one of him anyways lol

[shoechoe]

sorry guys the past few days have just been me rewatching invader zim in a haze. i remember why i liked this show now

[tardis--dreams]

I may have hit an all time low mental health wise but I'm being so chill about it

[gideonisms]

do I want to date or do I want to split tasks with someone else and take turns doing each other favors until we die. Another question I have been asking myself lately

[goldicthehedgefox]

i like goku black a normal amount

[evilyurifan]

every so often im like “im totally normal im not even neurodivergent” and then something hyperspecific related to my Behaviours happens and it makes me so stressed i get a headache and so angry i have to physically hit something or stomp my feet. but im totally normal

[littlebittywildflower]

I am making another blood of coffee I have decided cause self care. I have art things to work on for my booth I need to be buzz buzz!

[corneater3000]

quitting my last survival mode inducing + disrespect ridden job brought to me boundless fields fertile with growth <3 frolicking lately in such a deeper knowing of purpose and alignment. it’s like when everything is whipping and swirling and chaotic around me, i have this tether now, which feels like the deepest parts of me settling into a new body. this new body looks just like the old one, soft and lush, but it does not hold doubt or shame or insecurity. there is not room for it anymore. it cannot exist in the spaces i am walking into. cultivating a landscape of inner gentleness and selffulness has been soooo guided by something greater + deeper + unspoken within me and everything has just been clicking lately. the feeling of alignment is easier to recognize and inhabit for longer periods—i feel so tender and humble and affected by everything in the sweetest way. it feels so true to be brimming with feelings and life and sorrow and fear and to be on my own side through it !