#it's always been really easy for me to gain muscle

[sk1nnysuccubus]

found out i weigh a LOT more than i thought i did. i know im losing weight but just knowing that im so fucking heavy makes me want to die.

[wretchie]

,

[petew21-blog]

Friends with benefits

Two long time friends Trent and Brett. A classic story. Met in kindergarten and have been friends since. Grew up together. Spent their holidays together. Graduated together. But then stopped seeing each other as often. Why? Because adult life ain't easy. Brett had to find a job while Trent got into college, graduated and on top of that became a fitness influencer. Brett started his Twitch account and became a gamer, which he had time for, cause how he was constantly doing a different job, depending on what he could find. But both of them always took some time off for a beer with their buddy.

This is Trent

Although he doesn't appear like that, he is a 24 year old male with young looks

On the other hand Brett is also young, but his looks are a bit more mature. Maybe it's because of all the hair

This is Brett

So hairy.

Normal guys, right? Well something was about to change very soon

Friday, August 2nd, 5 PM

Brett:"Hey, dude. Wanna grab a beer later tonight?"

Trent:"Yeah, sure. I am down. Is 8:30 ok? I gotta finish a video"

Brett:"Oh yeah, totally fine. See you then"

Friday, August 2nd, sports bar, 8:33 PM

At the bar Brett waits patiently, only his leg is slightly shaking. Trent comes in through the door. It's kinda funny, cause Trent used to be really insecure and not confident. Now he looks basically like a god. But still, he has this cute shy looking guy whose face doesnt match his body and the fact that he's 24. Brett was kinds jealous, most of the people that didn't know him always thought he was older because of his looks. Trent had the opposite problem. Always had to show ID whenever he went. Yet Brett was probably more jealous about his life in general. He finished school, took great care of his body, which now could help him hook up with anyone he would set his mind to.

Brett:"Hey, maaaan. How are you doing?"

Trent:"Heyyy. Yeah good. You know, single influencer life, haha"

Brett:"The ladies must be driving you crazy"

Trent:"If only it were just ladies. Haha. You should see the messages some of these gay dudes keep sending me. It's insane"

Brett:"You tell me. They always send random shits to my chats while playing. But it's mostly dumb kids."

Trent:"I think we should find you a date for tonight"

Brett:"Nahhh, fuck it. I'm not in the mood. I just wanna chat with my bro."

After a few beers

Brett:"Shut up, you did not!"

Trent:"I swear. She came on to me without a word."

Brett:"So what did you do?"

Trent:"You think I put up a fight? Haha"

Brett:"Maaaan. I want this stuff to happen to me to. That's so hot"

Trent:"Come with me to the gym then, I bet more chicks woukd be into you if you would gain some muscles"

Brett:"You calling me fat?"

Trent:"No, just saying that all that body hair would be good to match with a good body. You're just a walking gorilla right now"

Brett:"Oh shut up twink! Haha"

They finished their drinks, said their goodbyes and went home.

Brett felt amazing. He really needed to get a beer with his best friend. He came back home, sat behind his computer and searched Dark web. He already knew what he was looking for. He wanted to mess with Trent. Just a another one of his pranks. All he needed was Trent's personal item. He found the body swapping website. He read the rules and conditions and filled out his and Trents name. The only next step he had to follow was to go to sleep. And so he did. Only taking off his shirt in the process and collapsing on the bed. Not even brushing his teeth

Brett woke up feeling better than ever. He was used to have a hangover by now, but today he felt great. He opened his eyes and immediately noticed the different sheets. He looked around. This is Trent's place.

Brett:"Trent?" he said, but he heard Trent's voice.

He turned around to get up

His body. He has a different body

Brett:"Holy shit. It worked" he said amused. He looked down at his now soft chest. He got up

Brett:"Oh wow. getting up is so different when you have these hard muscles"

He went to the nearest mirror. And there he was. Trent in his glory. Brett was so happy right now. His prank worked. He is now inside of his best friends body. And the pranks probably won't stop there. Now he can mess with him all he wants. But not now.

He looked from top to bottom how tall and slim his body was. "Almost no hair anywhere. Lucky guy"

He took Trent's phone and snapped a photo to send it to Trent in his body. He knew it would take a while for Trent to wake up so he proceeded in his exploration.

He felt his curly hair. "How come you don't even have widow's peak? So unfair" He traced his jawline, now with tiny baby hair that Brett wouldn't even call a beard. But his sight was now caught by those nice Calvin Klein's. He looked around as if there was someone in the room with him who would judge him. He pulled on the waistband

Brett:"Just as I thought. Also shaved" he grabbed his new dick, that was getting harder and harder by the second, when suddenly his phone received a notification. he let go of his dick

It was Trent. Brett:"Haha, this is gonna be good"

There was a photo of Brett's body, observing his hairy armpits in shock

Trent in Brett's body:"Hey. Got any idea why I am a gorilla now? And why that gorilla looks exactly like you?"

Brett:"Surpriseee. And fuck you"

Trent:"So this is your doing?"

Brett:"Yeah, I kinda wanted to prank you somehow for all the pranks and the gorilla jokes. Joke's on you ape man"

Trent:"Fuck you. So this is reversible?"

Brett:"Sure, man. No worries. We'll meet tonight at the bar again and chat how our day went?"

Trent:"I don't know how to feel about this, bro"

Brett:"Just try enjoying being another person"

Trent:"Do you realise there are some no go things including intimate stuff and hygiene?"

Brett:"Sure I do. I'm already holding your dick in YOUR hands right now"

Trent:"Dude! Not cool. I meant more stuff like shitting etc. But yeah, this too."

Brett:"I gotta say Trent. You have a very nice dick"

Trent:"I'll comment on your size when I find it in the bushes I guess. Have you never heard of trimming?"

Brett:"Keeping it natural, baby face"

Trent:"Fine, let's see each other tonight at 8, ok?"

Brett:"Enjoyyy" Hangs up

Trent:"Jesus, this guy. I hope he doesn't fuck up something or someone"

Starts observing himself. "I must say, It feels good to look like a mature man and not a teenager. All of this hair. And the moustache is hot too. I could never grow this thing"

Trent looked down and had a mischievous thought. "Well, Brett. Since you have already held my dick, I think it's time to step it up. Gonna see if you can last longer than I do" Trent said with a smile and whipped out his new hard hairy dick

Saturday August the 3rd, bar, 8:04 PM

Brett is sitting amused in the bar, eating chips on the table and drinking beer. Winking at the ladies looking at his direction.

A waitress came by his table:"Want another?"

Brett noticed his old incoming body:"Sure, and another one for my friend who just arrived. Thank you, sweetheart" he said as his flirtatious look almost seduced the local waitress

Trent:"You need to stop!"

Brett:"What? I was just flirting"

Trent:"Not that. Stop eating those chips. God knows how many calories you ate already"

Brett:"So you don't mind that I was flirting with her?"

Trent:"Nah, I don't care. I jerked off your dick for like the fifth time half an hour ago"

Brett:"What? You beast. I would have never expected that. Cool. You have a really good dick to jerk off too. I didn't expect to shoot so far tho. Made a bit of a mess"

A couple off bikers started eavesdropping to their conversation and turning heads

Trent:"You might want to quiet down, or we're gonna get beaten up for mistakenly speaking like gay guys"

Brett:"But you gotta admit that my body is not so bad, right? All the hair and everything. You like it"

Trent:"It's not bad, but I prefer being in my own body. I'm used to it."

Brett:"Ok, I'll pretend I didn't hear the part before about masturbation. But what do you say? We didn't even have enough time to see what the life is like in our new bodies. It's only been a day"

Trent:"And your point is?"

Brett:"Let's stay swapped for a while. We can swap back anytime we want. It's reversible. We know almost everything about each other, so pretending to be the other one will be easy. You'll just teach me your workout routine, I'll show you... what games to play and how to set up a livestream and we'll figure it out"

Trent:"Livestream? That's all you got?"

Brett:"Come on, man. We got nothing to loose"

Trent:"I don't know man. It's gonna be complicated. I agreed to leave for a few weeks to work at one of our gym branches in another city. And now you'll be the one that has to go. I think now is not the best time"

Brett:"So? I can update you about everything. We can chat all the time. We can call. And I got nothing to do. Actually, you might need to find some job for those few weeks. And there's never gonna be a better time then now. We're single, ready to mingle. So let's enjoy that month"

Trent:"You wanna stay swapped the whole tíme I'm gone?"

Brett:"Yeah, I'll be a fitness instructor/viral star and you'll ne enjoying my chill life"

Trent:"Chill life. Man, you won't even recognise your life when we'll swap back"

Brett:"So you agree?"

Trent:"Yeah, what the hell. I'll be a gorilla for a month"

Brett:"Deal. Now, let's see if you'll have a better game in finding a hookup then me"

Sunday, August 4th

Brett sends a text to Trent:"Why do I feel like my body still hasn't gone through puberty?"

Trent:"Piss off. Yours looks like it went trough yours several times."

Brett:"Nah, gotta be honest. I'm really enjoying this lean figure and hairless body"

Trent:"And my dick..."

Brett:"Haha, yeah and your dick. How are you doing in my body?"

Trent:"Feels pretty weird to be so hairy, but gotta admit it's a nice change. Like... feeling so manly"

Brett:"Yeah, but tip for that hairy stomach. Don't cum on it. It's really irritating to get cum from it"

Trent:"Never had the issue in my body, so yeah. Thanks for the tip"

Brett:"No problem. I had to try it out in yours haha"

Trent:"Doesn't this feel kinda gay to you? All the dick and jerk off talk. Appreciating each other's bodies"

Brett:"Nah. We're exploring, man. Who knows if we ever get that chance. Gotta enjoy it"

Wednesday August 7th

Trent:"How are you settling in?"

Brett:"Yeah. Pretty great. I just jerked off to some porn"

Trent:"Ew. I mean the appartement"

Brett:"Whooops. Sorry. Right. Yeah it's nice. Very clean. Very modern"

Trent:"It's yours only for a month so don't destroy anything there"

Brett:"It's kinda poetic right. New appartement, new body, new job"

Trent:"I don't see anything poetic about me playing games in front of a camera"

Brett;"Dude you have to. My fans are gonna wonder what happened to me"

Trent:"Fine. I'll log in tonight. By the way. Dude your feet smell so much when you work out."

Brett:"Work out? You took my body to the gym?

Trent:"Yeah. I had to show off these bushes somewhere, right?"

Brett:"Ahhh thanks man. Looking good"

Trent:"And I think oke girl was checking you... me out"

Brett:"If you can score than go for it. I'm actually late for a date. Or... how do you call it if you're just gonna have dinner and fuck?"

Trent:"Standard hook up man. Please be safe. Wear a condom. And watch our foe those carbs, man."

Brett:"Sure thing, bye"

Monday, August 12 th

Brett:"Dude do you like ever have to shave your face?"

Trent:"Sure I do. I just don't have to do it so often as you. Btw can I please shave off this moustache?"

Brett:"Absolutely not. You'll learn to love it and appreciate it. Just like I will your baby face"

Saturday, August 17th

Brett:"I have to admit I really love showing off your muscles man. I have been doing it constantly at every occassion. So many people turn their heads to take a peak"

Trent:"Yeah I get it. It helps with the confidence a bit"

Brett:"A bit? I feel like I can beat any fucker whk crosses me"

Trent:"Brett, please don't beat anyone in my body"

Brett:"Just kidding, man. How have you been"

Trent:"Well I tried being consistent with the gym. I think your body is doing pretty well"

Brett:"Daaaamn bro. I look good. You really do take care of my body really well"

Trent:"I was actually thinking I could offer this for money. Swapping with people, doing their routines and then swap back. But that's a talk for another time after we swap back"

Brett:"Yeha, sure. Cool idea. Anyway... how was the streaming?"

Trent:"I don't know, man. I think they are desperste for me to say your catchphrases, but they are so cringe."

Brett:"Nah, you have to do that. That's how you get into Tiktoks and become viral"

Trent:"Honestly. I can't wait to get back to my body and to my life back. So we will swap on September 2nd?

Brett:"Yeah. I suppose. Depends how the work will be etc. Anyway I gotta go man. Talk soon"

Trent to himself:"It feels like he's avoiding me with amswering more and more. Trent rubbed his hairy chest, recalling his sweet soft pecs that he missed.

Thursday, August 22nd

Trent:"Hey, man. How is it going?"

Friday, August 23rd

Trent:"Hey. I just wanna know if you're ok. I just wanna talk about the reversal."

Saturday:"please call me back as soon as possible"

Sunday, August 25th

Brett:"I'm ok"

Trent:"What the hell happened?"

Brett:"Nothing I just felt like I needed a break from phone and that stuff"

Trent:"Brett you didn't answer the phone for 4 days"

Brett:"Ok, I was avoiding you, cause I kinda fucked up and was afraid to tell you"

Trent:'What did you do? Is my body ok?"

Brett:"Yeah your body is unharmed. Nothing that bad. We just had a party in the appartement. Broke the TV and... I had unprotected sex with one girl. She didn't know if she was pregnant or not. So I was waiting. And congrats. You're not gonna be a dad"

Trent:"Brett..."

Brett:"I know. I'm so sorry. Won't happen again. Promise. I just got drunk once and it led to this. I'll be good now"

Trent:"Please, don't do anything anymore. I want to switch back"

Brett:"Nah man. We still gotta week to finish. You said until September 2nd."

Trent:"I didn't know you'd do something like this"

Brett:"Please Trent. I'm begging you. Just that one week"

Trent:"Fine. But don't do anything else!"

Sunday, September 1st

Brett:"Hey. Are you packed yet?"

Trent:"Hey. Not really. I planned on packing tommorow. You can come and help if you got time"

Brett:"Sure. I'll come by"

Monday, September 2nd

Trent arrives to the appartement. Brett is on the couch playing video games

The TV is new and there is a PlayStation on the table

Trent:"You didn't tell me you got back into gaming and that you bought all this."

Brett:"Yeha, I missed it. I thought to myself that you'd like it too. So I bought it. By the way. You should see how the fans dig it"

Trent:"Fans? You're live streaming in my body?"

Brett:"Yeah. The gamers are so into it when I'm flexing in the spare time. I even got a viral Tiktok already!"

Trent:"I think we should swap back, Brett. My life is out of your control now."

Brett:"I'm just using all the goods, man. You don't like my body anymore?"

Trent:"Stop changing the subject. I want to swap back"

Brett:"Ok... but on one condition"

Trent:"You want money?"

Brett;"Nah I want to have sex with my body. I want to have sex with you."

Trent:"You have lost your mind"

Brett:"Oh come on. Admit it, that you thought about it. Who gets the chance to fuck their body? To watch their body in the most animalistic moments from somebody else eyes?" Brett flexes his biceps to let Brett watch

Trent:"Brett..."

Brett stands up and goes towards Trent

Brett:"You know you want to kids thus face. To suck this hard dick" he says holding tightly his hardening bulge

Trent:"I... I do. I want to suck my dick"

Brett:"Atta boy"

They begin making out. The fast movements heading towards the bedroom could be described as chaotic, but for them it was a dance of passion. Brett was ripping his old clothes from his old body was all over his body, kissing his neck. Sucking each part of his skin

The kissed even more

Brett began to be more dominant. He gripped Trent's now receding hairline and pushed him down to suck his dick. Trent was choking. But did his best to swallow most of the shaft he now had. He had his dick in his mouth. He couldn't believe it. He is straight and he is sure of that. But this is absolutely different

Brett took his old body by the neck, choking him. "Say you love being in my body"

Trent:"Brett I can't breathe"

Brett:"Fine, let's do this the hard way"

He turned him around. Trent now on all fours. He knew what was coming, but he wasn't ready

Brett spit in his hand and spread it all over the head od his dick. Ready to penetrate his old hairy hole

Trent:"Brett wait... I... Ahhhhhhhh". Trent screamed in pain

Brett:"Yeah. Sorry about that. I'm just so horny. I love your body, Trent. I love every inch od it. Admit you like mine"

Trent:"Brett, please slow down"

Brett:"Naaah, you'll get used to it in a sex"

Trent:"Please, get lube or something"

Brett spit again to where his dick was penetrating Trent's ass. Brett:"Should do it"

Trent was still in pain, but now a new feeling was making him feel better. The pain was now... pleasant? He wanted to feel more. With every thrust from Brett. He felt like shitting himself and cumming at the same time

Brett:"Admit it. Admit you love being in my body" he sped up. Thrusting painfully.

Trent:"Yeah.... yes..."

Brett:"Louder"

Trent:"I do... I love your body. I love being you"

Brett:"Ahhhh. I'm gonna cum. Turn around. I want to cum on your chest"

Trent turned around. He could feel cum leaking from his dick. And now he saw his old face like he never did before. Brett was so into it. His face was full of lust, rage and mischief.

Brett:"Ahhhh. I'm cumming!"

The cum shot all over Trent. Not only on his chest, but also on his mouth and face

Trent watched in awe what just happened.

Brett:"Whew. That was a ride wasn't it? First gay sex. Am I right?"

Trent:"Brett... I?"

Brett:"Oh sorry. I have to catch my breath. You look so funny with my cum all over you. Haha. By the way. I'm glad you love your new body. You get to keep it"

Trent:"Brett, you said we would swap"

Brett:"Yeah I did. That's true. But after this little 'cum over your face' and 'dick in your ass' we made it permanent"

Trent watched in shock as his old body was still standing on top of him. Breathing rapidly and laughing.

Several months later

Hi my name is Brett. Welcome to my only fans channel. If you got any hairy request, hit me up

Brett in Trent's body:"Well this is just pathetic. Man, I knew you'd crumble. But this just seems you lost your mind"

Trent's massive colleague came next to him:"Hey, bro. What are you looking at?"

Brett:"Just looking how one of my friends threw away their life, kinda sad. But whatever. Their life, not mine"

Friend:"Hey, wanna grab a beer later this evening?"

Brett scanned his friend from top to bottom and smiled:"Sure thing. Be there at eight"

Brett thought about switching it up a little. That body would be amazing. But then he turned around and looked at himself in the mirror. And flexed

Brett:"Nah. I'm Trent. And I'm keeping this body"

A request from messages (another one who waited for a LONG time, sorry guys) for @swappwas

Hope you like it :)

P.S. written late at night on a phone with a very irritating autocorrect, so please excuse the mistakes

[jarofstyles]

Leather & Lace

Hello my angels and welcome to Leather and Lace!!! We’ve got a very cute 3 parter (I’ve finished writing it) coming in for you guys. We love a good grumpy x sunshine and couldn’t help ourselves writing another one. Please leave us feedback! We love to hear from you

Check out our Patreon for early access to parts 2&3, as well as 170+ exclusive writings!

Wc- 8.2k

Warnings- oral sex, praise kink, soft Dom h, opposites attract, cum play/swapping

---------

“How can you be this happy in the morning?” Harry grunted, hoodie pulled over his head as he sat down next to a bubbly Y/N. Her couch was comfortable but it didn’t make up for the fact that he was at her flat at 8 in the morning. 

“It’s not that early, lazy bones.” She hummed, tucking her legs under her as she sat down on the other side. “Thank you for coming to help today, by the way. I know you don’t like getting up early.”

He really didn’t, was the thing. He hated it. Harry only had so many days off and after working a long shift bartending last night, the very last thing he wanted to do was help someone unpack in their new flat. He’d rather claw at concrete than be awake right now, rather eat a raw egg, rather go through tattoo removal. If it was anyone but Y/N he would have laughed in their face at the mere ask. 

But it was her. It was twinkly eyed, pouty lipped, warm hearted Y/N who had asked him a week in advance and promised him a bagel with cream cheese and an iced coffee for brekkie, whatever he wanted for lunch, and ‘whatever he wanted in general!’. Little did she know he was going to say yes anyway, considering he knew he couldn’t say no to her sweet little ask with her smaller hand on his tattooed arm and wide eyes peering up at him. He wasn’t someone who liked to do things for many people without there being some sort of monetary gain, but this was different. 

Y/N had somehow latched herself onto one of the grumpiest bastards in the area while she herself was one of the sweetest girls he’d ever seen. Rarely spoke a mean word of anyone (except when they hurt someone close to her), went out of her way to help anyone who needed it and always wanted to be a shoulder to cry on. He’d seen her take money from her own wallet to cover someone’s bill when they were short, even seen her rush to help an elderly man across the street. It got her into trouble sometimes which was why he was glad that he’d been the hip she’d chosen to attach to. 

Their first interaction had been him sitting in the courtyard of their uni, listening to music under the tree. He’d had his sketchbook in hand, doodling in between classes when he looked up to see a girl with a pretty yellow bow in her hair offering him a cupcake because he looked ‘sad.’. He had been sad, actually, but that was pretty much his normal resting face. He’d tried to blow her off but she’d taken a seat next to him, introducing herself and telling him about her own day to ‘distract him’. He hated to admit that it worked. 

From then on, she popped up everywhere. At first he’d been a bit worried that she was following him but it truly was a coincidence. Y/N had found her way under his skin, wriggled her way into that cold heart of his and made it warm up just a little each time she came around. At some point she’d become a daily fixture in his life, her texts lighting up his phone with emojis and telling him to meet her at the cafe or the library- and for some reason, he followed.

“Mmm. Know y’wanted me here to see me get all sweaty. If y’wanted to see my tats and muscles so badly, you coulda just said so, Sweets.” He smirked, watching her eyes widen. So easy to fluster. 

“No! Stop teasing me, s’not nice.” She grumbled, poking his knee with her socked foot. She’d chosen lavender striped ones today. “I don’t have a lot of strong friends, you know that. Niall’s comin’ by after work to help you put the bedframe together and move the books from the car. Besides, I’ll let you sleepover and everything after we’re all done. I know you loveeeee my bed.”

He did. But more than anything he liked laying in said bed with her. Harry had a hard time admitting he had begun to gain feelings for the girl but deep down he knew he did. He liked that she insisted on cuddles, curling her leg around his and nuzzling her face into his chest, or even better yet the crook of his neck. Loved when she’d sleepily ask him questions about his life and tell him facts about her own. She resembled a tiny kitten while sleepy, insistent on getting all of the pets and attention. 

Harry had decided he wasn’t the relationship type after his last girlfriend had cheated on him with his old best mate- but meeting Y/N had reminded him of the die hard romantic that laid underneath the surface. All the hard work he’d had piling up bricks on top of his red, bleeding heart had seemed to be consistently excavated by the pastel wearing girl who still enjoyed the fairy lights he used to see online in those aesthetic bedroom photos. It scared him a bit at first. Even now, he was nervous about the idea of getting closer to her than they were now because her heart was a tender and precious thing and he didn’t necessarily trust himself not to hurt her- but then again, he knew he’d do miles better than anyone else could. He’d spent the time learning about her as the months went by, listening to her drawl on about the pinterest boards she made, her dream finds she always looked for at the thrift stores, her least favorite reality TV contestants, which pastries she found to be too dry at the cafe and which had the best level of moisture, what blankets she liked, every little tidbit he had stored away in his brain to use at a later date. 

No one would be as protective of her as he would be, which was why lately he’d been entertaining the thought of perhaps moving past the point of no return and trying to see if maybe, possibly, perhaps.. They could be more. 

It had come with a lot of deliberating but he’d come to understand that if he failed, Y/N wouldn’t caste him to the side. She’d never in a million years abandon him like he feared, which only gave him more motivation to go for it though… He was still biding his time. He had to let her get settled here before he shook up her life a bit more. 

They were opposites, the sweet girl and him. Harry was quite literally the bad boy cliche of everyone’s after school special’s dreams. His hair was long and curled, brushing his jaw. He went for darker clothing, usually his ripped black skinny jeans and a band tee but sometimes more eccentric with some silk and leaving his tits out when they went on a night out. His nose had a simple black hoop, his nails painted and chipped though this week they were a bubblegum pink, a la Y/N’s expertise. His body was hard from the gym he liked to frequent and inked, only getting more every month. He wore the occasional eyeliner when he felt spicy. That was only the physical things. 

Sometimes he wondered why she felt drawn to him, as she said. He was dark and moody with a darker sense of humor. Somewhat of a pessimist, he expected the worst from people and tended to stay away from them the best he could. The opposite of a social butterfly, he only usually went out in the past for a drink or to get his cock wet, never for the pleasure of interacting with people. Even then it was rare considering he did quite well in the hookup area being a bartender himself. 

Harry often wondered how and why she felt the pull to be around him and why she felt so at ease in his presence but he figured it had to be that he’d knocked the lights out of a bloke in her philosophy class who’d been riding her ass. He’d made the wrong decision of cornering Y/N at a party Harry had been dragged to, touching her a bit too much and not listening when her smile became thin and she backed away from him after giving a rejection much too polite than the man deserved. There had been no hesitation in laying him out, tugging Y/N into his side and demanding she stay with him for the rest of the party after she insisted she didn’t need to go home. 

Funnily enough she’d been a hit with his own small group of friends, everyone also feeling the same sort of kindred protection over her. Not many people were genuinely warm and fuzzy in the way she was. 

Y/N was… She was the sun, she was a cinnamon roll fresh baked on a sunday morning, she was a kitten sprawled in a sunbeam. All the good things, he could find a way to relate them to her. That probably should have been the indicator he had feelings for her far sooner than he’d ever let himself admit, but she had taken the time to crack him open. 

It was hard to stop thinking about what made her both his opposite and so special. Harry dwelled on how soft her clothing always was, both in color and texture. She liked those pastel colors and fuzzy cardigans, hair bows and those signature mary janes with the tiny heels. Lip oil as opposed to lip gloss because it was ‘too sticky’ but still dragged all his attention to her lips and made him wonder if it really tasted like tangerine like it smelled. 

Her touch was gentle and tender, cautious at first but as soon as she got the go ahead, she showered you in attention. At least, she did to him. Brushing stray hairs out of faces and wiping crumbs off cheeks, she had little sense of personal space once granted permission. She’d been mindful of his distaste for touch at the beginning but once he’d leaned into it, the girl had no qualms about straightening his shirt or leaning into his form, hell- there had been a few times she’d helped herself to his lap when there was no other seating option. Usually that was when she was tipsy considering she would most likely be a little shy sober, but that was something he enjoyed. 

The light to his dark, he doubted anyone else could make him feel the way she could. Hence why he was up after only getting 4 hours of sleep, sipping the coffee she’d gotten him. There was little he wouldn’t do for a hint of her smile. 

—--

“Babe, you’ve got t’make a decision.” Harry said gently, placing the large mirror down and leaning it against the wall. 

“I know, I know but… It’s bad luck to have your mirror facing your bed.” She wrung her fingers together. “I’m sorry, H. I know I’ve been a bit of a pain in the rear today. I promise m’not trying to, but It’s my first place and I just want it to be perfect.” Her head looked down, making his heart squeeze. 

God damn it. Leave it to her to make him feel like he’d kicked a puppy. Sighing, he tugged the bandana on his head back into place and approached her, placing his hand on her shoulder. “M’not upset with you. Promise. I just think you’re overthinking it a bit.” Her superstitions did tend to make her feel a little squirrely sometimes and he knew it.  “We’re gonna make it look perfect. Incredible, even. Reckon the magazines will be calling you up to feature you, but we can’t just have a freestanding mirror slab.” He’d picked it up for her off of craigslist just a bit ago. Even if it wasn’t a dodgy listing, he wouldn’t let her go on her own. That’s how people got kidnapped. 

“Ugh, I know.” She groaned, flopping into his chest. Never mind it being sweaty, she rubbed her nose between his tits and let out a tired groan, her hair smacking his chin. It’d been tossed up in a very messy bun that was a bit lopsided but made her look doubly as cute, though he didn’t tell her that. “Why don’t we mount it to the back of your door then? Not facing your bed, or another mirror.” 

He could almost hear her brain going as she mulled it over before he felt the nod against his chest. “That will be good, I think. I love that idea.” Y/N had been going back and forth over design choices with him all day as if he had a clue about interior decor, but he had appreciated her caring about his opinion nonetheless. “That can be the last thing we do. Niall’s fucked off somewhere futzing with the books so we can eat after that’s done.” 

The thud of his heart against her ear was steady as he gently ran a hand over her shoulderblade. “What’s on the menu?” 

“Think we’re ordering pizza because I know m’too tired to cook which means you lot have to be too.” She chuckled, finally prying herself out of his chest and blinking up at him.”Then we can go to bed.”  He was thankful her ear was away from his heart so she couldn’t hear the way it stuttered. You’d think after sleeping in her bed a multitude of times that he’d get used to the sound of that sentence but it still did him in every time. 

“Okay. I can run and pick it up after I mount this to the door if you call it in.” He knew she wouldn’t want to go. It was visible on her face how tired she was and it melted him internally. He knew that she’d be a little snuggly menace tonight and fuck if he wasn’t looking forward to it. “Gonna run into the pharmacy t’grab some body wash for here, if thats okay?”

“Course it is.” She beamed at the suggestion, making him happy that he’d even brought it up. Y/N used to suggest he sleep heer a lot before and he’d refuse, thinking she was just trying to be polite- but she really did enjoy him staying with her. “I liked the pomegranate one you used last time, just sayin’.” Patting his chest she moved from his grip, heading to grab her phone. “Normal for you?”

“Yeah, love. Same as usual.” He rubbed over the achy spot in his chest that she’d left by pulling away, looking forward to sleeping tonight so he could feel it fill back up.

—-----------

Harry had grabbed the pomegranate bath stuff. He’d grabbed the whole line, actually, the shampoo, conditioner, body wash and some sort of ‘skin buff.’ Whatever that was. 

Y/N had squeaked as he showed her, along with a pack of the makeup wipes she usually used and he’d steal. He’d figured it was about time to be the one to buy the replacements. “Ah! And you got the face mask I like.” Her eyes were wide and bright as she bounced on her toes, smacking a kiss to his stubbly cheek before looking back down at the holographic packaging. He’d hoped he had gotten the right one when he’d seen a sale on them when on his way to the check out counter. It was worth the little bit of money to feel her lips for a moment. “Thank you, H. You’re the best, as usual.” 

“The hell am I?” Niall scoffed, wiping his hands dry after washing them. 

“You’re great too, but he got me the face masks I like and they usually sell out. So he’s a bit higher up in points today.” She placated him, brushing past him to put them in the bathroom. “Harry, plate up the pizza, pretty please!”

As soon as she had disappeared, Niall shot him a look. “When are you two gonna make it official?” He whispered. “The heat eyes bouncin’ off the both of you is sickening at this point. She’s turned you soft.” 

Harry settled with a glare, placing two slices on the paper plate and sliding it over to him. “Eventually. Her whole life is shifting. Can’t do shit right now without rattling her.” It was the first time he admitted or even hinted at having feelings for her besides point blank telling anyone who came around that she wasn’t available. Y/N didn’t know he did that though. 

“Thank fuck you don’t still have your head up your arse. I was worried you’d never admit you’re gone for her.” He faked wiping sweat off his head making the other man roll his eyes. “She’ll be happy, H. You don’t have to worry about her rejecting you. Just go on and do it. She talks about you like you hang the moon every night at this point even when you aren’t around.” 

A weakness he’d spotted, Harry stood a bit straighter before leaning in. “She does? What does she say?” Oh, he hated how desperate he sounded to hear the answer but the fluttering in his stomach made him insisting on finding out. 

“Oh, how thoughtful and kind and generous you are and how you’re the best person she knows, all of that. She stares at her phone and waits for texts from you when she comes out and you’re working, gets these huge smiles or giggles when you do. or tries to get everyone to move the party to your bar.” 

That last part, he’d hoped for. He liked the idea of her wanting to be physically close to him and suggesting everyone come and see him, but knowing she did the same thing he did when waiting for messages from him soothed a piece of him. He wasn’t alone in it. It was hard sometimes for him to decipher her behavior considering she was genuinely so friendly with everyone and he didn’t want to flatter himself and think it he was special… but apparently he was. 

He didn’t have a chance to answer when Y/N glided from the bathroom, finding her spot on the kitchen barstools. “What did I miss?” 

“Nothin’, Babe. Just chatting shit.” He murmured, sliding her a plate with her pizza of choice on it. “Figured we’d go to the grocery tomorrow, yeah? It’s a bit sparse in here with the food.” He had the next day off and intended on spending it with her. They’d made lots of progress today and had 80% of the place unpacked, but he knew she liked those restocking videos online. “Think they’ve got those organizers back in stock.” 

“Oh!” She gasped.”Yes, you genius. I’ll need your help though, strong man. I like the one trip wonder.” It was a tease considering she knew Harry hated making multiple trips up with bags. 

“Lucky for you, you’ve got a lift now and I’ve got that collapsible wagon.” Reaching out he gently flicked her nose for being a brat. “So we won’t have t’worry about that.” 

—-----

Y/N was either very oblivious or a tease. Harry could never fully figure out which one. 

He sat on her bed, messing with her telly when she emerged from the shower in her little cotton shorts and one of his shirts. It was one he’d just been looking for last week, actually, an old Iron Maiden one with a few holes in the collar area. Unmistakably his. The faded gray complimented her skin, looking extra cozy on her as her powder blue plush bunny slippers flopped against the ground and she made her way to her skincare desk. 

“You little thief.” He grumbled from the bed, leaning against her headboard. “I was searching everywhere for that last week.” Though he had narrowed eyes she would know he was only teasing. 

“You left it with me, remember? I ended up packing it so I wouldn’t forget it but… It’s super comfy.” She smiled guiltily at him, spinning in her chair. “Is it okay if I wear it? It still smells like your cologne and it helps me sleep sometimes…”

Ah, a shot to the heart. 

Y/N didn’t know what it did to him to know he was an aid in good sleep. That it both made his heart stutter and his cock throb at the sight of her wrapped up in his clothing like she had all the rights to it. Like he was her boyfriend and she liked to wear it to remember him. Her scent had a similar effect on him, leaving it in his sheets when she stayed over,  “Totally okay, lovely.” He smiled gently. “M’just teasing you. Though it does wonders for my ego to know you like my cologne that much.” 

He knew he was making her a little flustered considering she didn’t look right at him, but he thrived off of that. Knowing he made an impact on her like that made him feel just a bit more confident that she felt similarly to him. There was no answer from her, but he wasn’t done with her quite yet. Standing up with a groan, he made his way over to her little makeup and skincare set up, placing his hands on the back of her chair. “What are you putting on your face?” He asked curiously, looking over her head to the products she had neatly organized.

“Well, first I wipe with one of these toning pads.” She opened the little tub, using a tiny pair of clear tongs to grab one. “You don’t want to be sticking your fingers in there and potentially making them all dirty so it came with this little thing. You give it a few passes over your t zone.” She showed him as she did it, Harry watching diligently in the mirror. 

“Mmm. Then what? You’re always doin’ all of this fancy stuff to your face. Figure that's why your skin is so pretty.” He let his fingers fiddle with a few strands of hair. 

“Thank you.” She said sheepishly, picking up a smaller tube. “Um, I use this undereye cream to help with puffiness and brightening. Its soothing. I apply it with the smallest finger though, because while I’m not afraid of wrinkles it’s the weakest fingers and the skin under your eyes is more delicate.” 

Huh. “Didn’t know what.” He was actually learning something from this. 

“Mhm. Why do you think I tell you to go gentle when you use the makeup remover?” A smile tilted up one side of her lips a bit further, eyes focused on the mirror in front of her. She pretended not to notice the slight shiver he gave her when he leaned down, letting his face get more level with hers- but he did. He noticed anything he could. “A-And then I use some vitamin C stuff for brightening, a serum and a cream. I use the little fan to make it dry faster so it isn’t sticky.” She pointed to the mini pink fan he’d always noticed. He’d just assumed it was for when she got hot. “Do you… Would you like me to use some of it on you when I’m done?” 

She sounded hesitant to ask which he understood. Not a lot of the guys in their friend circle would want that, but he wasn’t that insecure about himself that he’d say no to someone pampering him. Especially not when it meant Y/N getting close to him. “Sure, sweets. I’d love that. Reckon my skin needs it.” 

“What do you usually do with it?” She asked curiously, meeting his eye in the mirror. 

“Makeup remover, wash my face, that cream you left at my place if I remember.” 

“It’s not fair you have the skin you do.” She huffed, shaking her head. “Cruel, actually.” It kind of was. He got long lashes too, which she always complained about. “Go and wash your face first, heathen.”

Harry let out a small laugh before going off to do that. Returning with a fresh face, he stood in his prior position, watching her finish up the routine before holding the fan closer to her face to finish it off. It was an interesting process he hadn’t paid much mind to before, but then again, she didn’t bring every single thing to his place either. 

After putting her hair up in a claw clip, she stood up from the plushy chair and motioned for him to sit down. He did as asked, feeling her residual warmth as she lined up the products for them. “Okay, so we start with the toner pad.” She gently pushed him to lean back in the chair, her face coming closer to his as she delicately swiped it over his cheeks and nose. He was getting an up close look at her, noticing the scar near her eyebrow and a few spots on her face. It made him warm up a bit, being able to see her so close when she was awake. Usually this level of observation was reserved for when she was asleep. “Oi, keep your head up.” 

“Sorry.” He laughed, avoiding the impulse to move the chair back and forth. He liked to swing on it at times. 

“Wait- how about this.” Without giving it much thought, she gripped the chair and swung it over to turn his body to the side, helping herself to straddle his lap. “This seems a little easier, no?” Fingers gently tipped his chin up, eyes focused on her motions. 

Harry’s breath had disappeared. No longer available, he felt her sitting on top of his thighs, innocent as ever as she went through the motions. Tender with her movements and pressure, she was treating him like porcelain while giving him a little makeover. He should be focused on how nice the products felt on his skin, but his mind was elsewhere. 

She smelled amazing, as usual, but having it this close up was a little hard for him. Yes, she sat on his lap before- but not in his shirt, with her thighs on display and tiny little shorts. She didn’t straddle him before either, didn’t let his mind wander to places it shouldn’t. All his energy was focused on trying to ensure she didn’t feel the stiffy that was quickly growing in his pants. 

“I can’t believe how good you’re being for me, H.” She whispered. “No whining or anything.” Her smile was soft as she wiped the serum over his face. “You’re so pretty.”

Fuck. He swallowed thickly, trying desperately to not let his cock construe those words into the filthy praise kink he had, but it appeared to be a bit too late for that. She had no idea what she was doing to him and he didn’t want to be a perv, but god damn. If the girl continued, there would be no denying that he’d cream his damn pants. Being pet on, feeling her brush his hair off his forehead while she stroked his face and adjusted his position to where she wanted… He was only so strong. “Thanks.” He murmured, trying to keep his composure. 

“Of course.” She beamed, seeming pleased. “I’m surprised you’re letting me do this, but you’re full of surprises.” It seemed like she didn’t know the battle he was facing internally, which was his goal, but that was soon to be ruined. “Hold on a second.” Shifting slightly on his lap, she stood up momentarily before sliding further up. “Sorry, I was falling down a bit-” 

Harry hadn’t meant to, he really fucking didn’t. But she sat right on top of him, squirming a bit. Giving his dick a bit of friction, making his hands grip her hips and sit her down hard to stop the movement. He couldn’t open his eyes, couldn’t face her as he heard the hitch in her breath. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Sorry, I didn’t- I promise m’not being a creep or anything.” He winced. “Just been a while and uh-” 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Her voice rang out, fingers brushing through his hair. “H, look at me. I’m not mad.” Of course, her words were sweet and syrupy, going right to his dick yet again. Y/N had no fucking idea how much she effected him, how many times he’d thought about her in this positon and how guilty he felt that he’d turned a sweet moment into something like this. “C’mon. You don’t need to be embarrassed.” 

He took a moment before opening his eyes, looking at her face. Studying it, making sure she wasn’t uncomfortable. Her hand cupped the side of his face, a slight pout on her pretty lips. Y/N didn’t seem upset about it, seeing as she sat still and could most definitely feel his cock under her. He could feel her cunt over him, hot through the fabric and he was doing everything in his power to be fucking normal. 

“There you are.” The tables had finally turned. Harry was the shy one in this moment and Y/N was the one seemingly not freaked out. “It’s a natural body function, H. I know you’re not some kind of perv. I sat on your lap, remember?” She soothed his nerves. “Besides, I’m flattered. Was beginning to think you thought I was some kind of troll or something.” The smile kicked up on her face, but his frown deepened.

“The fuck? Why would you think that?” Brows furrowed, he didn’t like that she thought he didn’t find her attractive. He called her pretty quite a bit. 

“Well, I’m not your type. You go for all those tattooed girls with the bad ass attitudes, which is cool cause I think they’re hot too but… I’m all soft and squishy, y’know? I like the soft things, kinda the opposite of you so I just thought I wasn’t someone you’d be attracted to. M’nothing like what you go for.” She didn’t seem offended by this, rather stating it matter of fact- but Harry couldn’t believe how wrong she was. He had to wonder how long she thought this. 

While he was secretly pining after her, she was thinking he was going off to get blowies by the girls that flirted with him which, sometimes he did. At the beginning of their friendship, he tried to stave off those feelings for her by getting someone else underneath him, fucking away the frustration but he learned fairly quickly that none of it did much when his mind was on someone else. It’d been months at this point. Sure, he liked a bit of flirting to boost his ego, but that was only when Y/N was preoccupied. 

“Well, you’re wrong.” He said sternly. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Dunno where the troll idea came in when m’always staring at you.” He scoffed. “No more of that bullshit. Wouldn’t be hard if I didn’t think you were stunning. Trust me.” In fact, she was the only thing that got him hard these days. Thinking of her mouth, her thighs, her tits, her ass, anything. Even her hands, for fucks sake. “Don’t ever doubt how beautiful you are t’me. Pisses me off.”

“Sorry.��� She bleated, pouting back at him. “I didn’t mean to. It’s just.. You call me pretty but I never would have thought you meant it like that. I like that you let me cuddle you and stuff so obviously I know you aren’t repulsed by me but, I dunno.” She swallowed, looking down at his bare chest. “I’m sorry for getting you… if you’re uncomfortable.” 

God, he was mucking this up wasn’t he? He shook his head, letting his thumbs rub over her hips as he softened his face. “No, sweets. Don’t apologize. S’not a big deal, I’m not mad at you. Just don’t like the idea of you thinking poorly of yourself. You’re fucking stunning.” So stunning that his cock was still hard under her. “I’ll go take care of it when we’re done, but no more squirming. Okay?” Squeezing her, he tried to rectify the situation. “No more fussing.” 

“But…” Y/N’s lips twisted slightly, sliding her hands down to his shoulders. “That’s not fair.” 

Harry blinked a few times, looking her over hesitantly. “What d’you mean? I’m okay, pet.” 

“Well, It’s my fault that you’re like this.” She protested. “I can fix it, if you want. Haven’t given too many blowies before, but I can take instruction pretty well.”

Harry truly thought he was dreaming for a moment, his face hot as she gave him an innocent look. Like she meant it, though it slightly embarrassed her for not having a lot of experience. But feeling her shift on him clued him back into reality. This was real. “You- You don’t have to do anything for me, Y/N.” He was holding on by a string. “You didn’t mean to do it. It’s not your responsibility to get me off just because my cock’s got a mind of his own.”

Y/N huffed again, shaking her head. “I want to. Can I?” Her face shifted slightly. “You’re not making me do anything. It would make me feel better If i could take care of you.” Her eyes met his. “I mean it. Promise.” 

And god, if Harry was a stronger man he’d lift her off his lap and insist on taking care of it himself. He’d explain that it could make lines blurry and he liked her a bit more than a friend and they’d have that talk. But he wasn’t a stronger man, and she rolled her hips on him again with a hum, making his head fall back when she repeated the action. “Fuck.” He whispered under his breath. “As long as.. As long you’re sure. I don’t want you to regret it or anything.” 

“I won’t.” She peeped. “I like making you feel good, Harry.” Her face seemed brighter as she watched him nod.

“Go on then, sweetheart.” He sighed. “I’ll show you what I like.” 

Never in a million years had he expected her to be visibly excited, slipping off his lap and on to her knees in front of him. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Eyes looked up at him with curiosity, hands running over his thighs as she waited for direction. He’d dreamt of this so many times, stroked off in the bathroom to this very mental image to get his load out quicker. His cock pulsed inside his sweats. This was really happening. “M’not wearing briefs under these.” He warned, pushing the waistband down as he slowly tugged himself out of the pants. His hand was slightly shaky ass he gave himself a squeeze at the base, a soft hiss leaving his teeth when her hand covered his own. 

“I’ve only done it a few times but…” Her eyes widened. “Yours is the prettiest I’ve seen.”

And fuck if that didn’t get him going. Harry took pride in his dick, as a lot of men did, but to get that compliment was better than anything else. His hair was normally trimmed shorter, but it had been a while. It was groomed a bit at the base, his happy trail leading up his stomach. “Thank you.” He mumbled, removing his hand and letting hers take over. Y/N was eager and that much was obvious, feeling her give him a few strokes as she shuffled closer in between his spread thighs. “I- I probably won’t last long. I wasn’t lying, it’s been a while.” And he’d imagined her in this position so many times that he was programmed to get off to it quickly. 

“That’s okay. You’re quite big so it’ll be better for my jaw.” She giggled. Fucking giggled while her thumb rubbed over the slit, making him shudder. He’d always imagined she’d be much more shy in this situation, but again he was proven wrong. “What do you like?” 

Honestly? He could cum just like this. Her stroking him slow, looking up at him with that pretty little face. Splatter her pretty face with pearly strings leaking from the slit of his cock, let it drip down her cheeks and chin. But she wouldn’t like that answer. “I’m okay with anything you give me, but I… I like to hear you.” He swallowed, a shaky exhale leaving his nose. “And uh, a bit wet. If that’s something you’d like.” 

Y/N looked like she was taking note, nodding at his words. “I want to know what you like, m’okay with anything.” She smiled. “I knew you had to be big cause.. Y’know you’ve got the energy. And I’ve felt it a few times when we cuddle, before you wake up. It’s just different to see it.” Y/N leaned her head on his thigh, continuing to jerk him off. “I’ll probably choke a little bit, cause you’re the biggest I’ve taken. It’s okay though, I’ll be fine. I’ll pinch your tummy or somthin’ if I need a second to breathe.” 

Who the fuck was she? Y/N had never, ever shown or hinted at being filthy in her life, but here she was. Talking about choking on his cock. He throbbed in her hand, making her eyebrows raise. “You liked that. Noted.” Leaning forward, she kept eye contact with him as she dragged her pink tongue from the base up to the tip, letting it sit there for a moment before she pulled away, giving him a few more strokes. “You can show me what you like too. Don’t be shy about it, H. I want you to feel good.” 

Harry nearly lost it as he watched those gorgeous lips purse, spitting right over the tip. It slipped down his length before her hand caught it, stroking and spreading it over his cock. Filthy, filthy things filled his tongue immediately, but he tried to pace himself. “Fuck me…” He whispered, gently gathering her hair in his hand. “I didn’t know you had this in you, gorgeous.” It nearly bowled him over. “Can you.. Take it in your mouth. Suck the tip for me. I want to see that.” 

Normally, he had no problem being a cocky, arrogant man. He was dominant most of the time with his hook ups- but Y/N wasn’t just a hook up to him. She was special. He didn’t want to do a single thing to potentially fuck this up. He wanted her to like this, to see how much he liked it too. She had no problems following instructions, the man watching as her lips stretched around the tip and dipped down a bit as she suckled on it. A soft hum left her mouth and vibrated over him as he curled the hair around his fist, making him groan. “Yeah, jus’ like that, angel. Fuck.” He kept his eyes on her as she bobbed shallowly, taking moments to rub her tongue over his leaking slit. “You’re so good, so sweet t’me. Can’t believe you’re doin’ this.” 

Y/N pulled off the tip, lips wet as she peered up at him. “I’ve thought about it before.” She whispered, lapping over the side of his length. “Wanted to see your cock. I knew it’d be pretty.” 

What the fuck? Harry’s brian felt fried, completely caught off guard by this information. Sure, he had thought maybe once or twice she was teasing him but it wasn’t often. Y/N was just so sugary sweet and kind, a slight air of innocence, and… Now she was telling him she’d thought about sucking him off before. “You have?” 

“Mhm.” She stroked him a bit firmer, the slick sound of her hand around his wet cock getting louder. “I heard.. Heard rumors and felt left out. You like me the best but you never asked me to do anything.” Rubbing the tip over her pouted lips, Harry was shocked yet again. 

“Cause y’mean more to me than any of the other people.” He swallowed. “Too fuckin’ sweet. I like you the best, you’re right but.. You’re my sweet girl. Didn’t want t’use you for anything like that. Would break my heart if I hurt you and you’d not want to see me again.” 

“What if I wanted you to use me?” She asked, peering up at him with those eyes. They drove him absolutely mad. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me unless I asked, H. You’re so good to me… I just want to be good for you too.” Taking the tip back into her mouth, she pushed herself down further and he felt his stomach clench. It took him off guard, feeling the hot mouth take him down and bob herself against him, a soft hum vibrating over him. 

“Oh- Fuck.” He let out a broken groan, leaning further back into the chair. “You are, baby, you fucking are. Hot little mouth… shit.” She whimpered around his cock at his words, sucking a little harder as her hand stroked the rest of him. She liked that. “What is it, hm? Like when I call you baby? When I tell you how perfect you are?” His words got a bit darker. He was slipping into another headspace and Y/N seemed to be coaxing it on. 

She did a half ass nod, not pulling off his length as she continued. Harry wouldn’t have guessed in a million years that she’d be a greedy girl like this, but he was incredibly thankful that she was. “You are. Such a good girl, so gorgeous with your mouth stretched around my cock. Didn’t know you were gagging for it, baby. Should’ve told me.” He chuckled darkly. “Wouldn’t have wasted my loads in the shower before comin’ t’bed with you. Could’ve pushed into your needy mouth and let you swallow it down.” 

Y/N moaned around his prick, eyes watering slightly as she looked at him. He’d never seen a better sight. “You’re so beautiful, angel. So pretty. Didn’t know such a filthy thing could have you lookin’ even more beautiful.” His throat felt thick as his cock throbbed in her mouth. “Fuck, you don’t even know how many times I’ve thought about it.”

Y/N pulled off, panting slightly as webs of saliva connected her mouth to his cock. “How much?” Her voice was a little hoarse, but he could hear that she was desperate to know. “You- You could have. I don’t want you to waste it anymore.” There was the tiny bit of shyness coming back in. “If umm, if you think  I’m good enough at this. I’ll do it.” 

“Fuck me, baby.” His thumb wiped over her spit soaked lips, breaking the threads of spit as he caressed her cheek. “All the fucking time. S’the only thing that gets me off.” Confessions he hadn’t thought he’d be saying so soon, let alone before he’d ever kissed her, spilled from him. “You’re doing amazing. More than good enough, too fucking good for me.” He couldn’t believe she was offering. “You sure you want t’be the one to take care of it?”

“Yes, I want it. I don’t want anyone else to do it.” She pleaded. “I’ll be the best for you. Just- you can tell me and I’ll suck you or, or anything you want.” Harry tested it, gently pushing her head back towards his prick- which she immediately took back in her mouth. The perfect, wet heat bringing him back to that filthy place in his head. 

How could she think he could ever say no? She’d been his weakness since she brought him over that damn cupcake. 

“Oh, sweet girl. Anything?” He cooed. “Dangerous thing to promise me. Don’t want anyone else to do it either.” His breathing was getting harder, trying not to thrust his hips up into her mouth and make her take it all. Sure, she’d probably do it, but he still felt the need to be delicate with her. “Take a little more for me, baby. Just like- there, there you go.” He praised, mouth falling open as she did exactly what he wanted. “Gonna make me cum.” 

This felt a million times better than rubbing one out in her bathroom. His legs were near vibrating, the wet sound of her mouth taking him down and the clicks of her hand stroking his spit soaked cock filling her bedroom. This was the last thing he’d expected was her on her knees for him tonight and part of him wasn’t convinced it wasn’t a wet dream, but he was thanking whatever higher power that was up there that his sweet girl had a dirty side to her. One he wanted to be the only one privileged enough to see. 

“In my mouth.” She gasped, pulling up for a moment. “Want to taste you. Please?” 

How could he ever tell her no? 

Pushing her back down on his cock, he let his hips rise up and shallowly thrust into her mouth as she moaned around him, drooling down her chin and letting him use her the way he needed to get off. The best part was knowing she was enjoying it so much. It was a miracle he’d lasted this long already, but he attributed that to shock. She was dirty, his sweet girl, choking slightly on his cock as the tip hit her throat, but she made no move to want to stop. 

His last straw, though, was feeling her hand over his balls, whining around him as he let out his deepest groan yet. It was sloppy and messy and so fucking good that he felt lightheaded, tummy hot and legs weak as he felt himself approach his end. “Fuck, jus’ like that, your fucking mouth is perfect… fuck, fuck, fuck, baby- M’gonna cum, gonna cum, gonna-” His voice failed as his head fell back, lifting his hips as his cum began to pour into her mouth. Ribbon after ribbon coating her throat, pulling back a bit to get it on her tongue while she worked him through it. 

He didn’t realize he had so much in him, but perhaps it was just Y/N that made him cum this much. This hard. His ears rung a bit, curses leaving his mouth as he watched her mouth open and hand stroke him to see the pearly mess on her tongue. At the last little bit,he used his grip on her hair to tug her up to his face. 

“C’mere, sweet girl. Share with me, don’t be greedy.” holding her face while the other had her hair, he pulled back into his lap and her mouth to his and groaned as she licked over his tongue, sharing the remnants of his load with him. It was something a bit nasty and deprived, he knew, but Y/N merely moaned back, her clean hand curling around the back of his neck. 

The kisses slowed from frantic and hot, to softer, slow and sweet. Pecking her lips over and over again, her whimpers melted into giggled as he untangled from her hair, sliding his hand under the shirt she had on to get some bare skin on his fingertips. “Sweetest thing, most beautiful girl.” He murmured between kisses. “Thank you. Best I’ve ever had.” 

“You’re jus’ saying that.” She whispered, though the smile was difficult to wipe off her face. Obviously she liked praise just as much as him. 

“Nope. Mean every word.” He confirmed, rubbing his nose over her cheek. “Thank you, baby. Felt so damn good, can’t feel my legs now.” Harry’d never felt like this after a blowie, both in his legs and the fondness he felt for the girl. If there had been any doubts about his feelings for her whatsoever, they were shattered. He was so far gone for her, it was pathetic. 

“Good.” She smiled, feeling the kiss to his cheek. “I need to finish your skincare, though. So tuck yourself back in, cause m’gonna do that and then brush my teeth again. Though.. I can tell you’ve got a good diet. Tasted nice.” 

Though Harry knew cum never really tasted good, he was chuffed that she hadn’t minded. Even more, that she hadn’t minded indulging in sharing with him. “M’not selfish, I need to help you too.” He reminded, though she merely shook her head. 

“I’ll take a raincheck. M’so tired now, and I want to enjoy it fully.” Pecking his cheek in return, she picked up the moisturizer. “Think you need a lip mask too. Thankfully, you’re in the right hands.” 

Harry was sometimes a selfish lover with hookups and he could admit that, but with Y/N he never wanted to be that way. He wanted to make her feel good, but he could wait. It only made him anticipate it more- there would be a next time. 

“Okay, sweets.” He chuckled. “Do whatever you’d like.”

[bigwishes]

Hey man, my workout bro gave me a new pre-workout shake to try and it's really been helping me bulk up, but I always feel really — UUUUURRP — fuck man, I'm always really bloated after drinking them. Fuck though, they taste so good, and I've been putting on mass like crazy... I've also put on a little pudge as well, but I should be able to work that off, right?

You've been chugging that down like it's water haven't you dude, well that's fine. It was your choice to drink all of it even when the product was designed for a guy to take one serving in his whole life.

The product you took was designed to mutate the metabolism to help guys who are serious about lifting be able to absorb and process more food without it technically putting them through a bulk.

However you decided to drink a lot more than what one guy needs and its caused you to develop a lot of side effects. The first of which you've already noticed, belching non stop and always being bloated but that's just the easy stuff. Soon you'll begin to sweat like a pig and not just whilst you work out, your body will generate so much extra heat whilst it tries to turn anything you eat into size that it'll cause you to be a walking sauna, heat radiating out of your body and a cloud of steam coming off you at all times, but that steam isn't just an aesthetic, it'll reek, you might even find guys gagging from the terrible smell as you walk past. Of course making your body redirect so much nutrients isn't without its consequences, you'll probably start to notice your dick is getting smaller each day and pretty soon you won't even notice when you have a hard on, but don't worry, your pants will still be getting tighter as not only your thighs are getting bigger but the muscles in your ass are being pumped full of size getting big and swollen making it difficult to put on things like jeans.

and of course the pudge, drinking so much is causing your body to just now throw on size however it can, you'll still be mostly muscle but you'll always have a slightly jiggly layer over the top.

but lets talk about what's really going to start happening. That last sip this morning was the thing that will push you over the edge, you've fucked yourself now. You'll always be hungry, never full again. There will always be room for one more bite or one more sip of a protein shake and 100% of what you eat will be converted straight into muscle and size. There is no need for you to work out anymore, in fact its probably a waste of time to try and work out you'll gain more size by just stuffing your face.

After every mouthful you'll find yourself forced to belch, you'll always feel heavy sluggish and bloated. Feeling your mass bounce as you walk. You've earned the nickname Bubbles from your mates as whenever they hang out with you the only thing they can hear is you stomach bubbling away churning food into raw size only ever interrupted as you grumble in discomfort rubbing your tight layered abs as you belch loudly and uncontrollably

Enjoy being a big bloated beast Bubbles...

[13uswntimagines]

The Come Down (Alessia Russo X MMA fighter!R)

R is a very popular MMA fighter, and Alessia sees the parts of you that other people don't. Shes the one who gets to put you back together again after a tough fight.

Warnings: D/S undertones but no smut.

Author's note: This was super fun to write and i hope you enjoy it. Feel free to hit me up with ideas and comments and stuff.

You sighed, leaning your head against the stone walls of the Emirates tunnel, letting it soothe the twinges that always lingered after a long flight.

It was masochistic, but the ache that lingered the day after a war in the Octagon was always one of your favorite feelings, especially if you won. It helped you to compartmentalize the parts of yourself. It helped you separate the completely in-control fighter, the stone-cold monster that didn’t give a fuck about her opponents, and the human that lingered underneath. 

It was hard to punch a man until he was unconscious if you thought about how human he was. If you pictured his family and his life as anything other than an opponent for you to run through. But you never wanted that part of yourself to exist anywhere other than in the cage. 

The throb in your muscles and ache in your cuts helped you lock that part of yourself away. It helped you keep your grip on reality in all of the post-fight hormones until you could get to the grounding force that was your girlfriend. 

The post-fight come-down was always difficult for you, especially after a 5 round back and forth battle like the one you had just fought. 

You loved your job, you really did, but it was so easy to… lose yourself. To get lost in the anger of the UFC universe and the vitriol of your opponents. To get lost in the cycle of Training, listening to a man tell you he was going to destroy you at press conferences, cutting weight and beating the ever-living fuck out of someone while people cheered. 

Just being in the same building as Alessia had set you at ease, and watching her score 2 against Chelsea was even better. 

But the sound of the crowd had started to set you on edge. The way they erupted when your face, black eye, stitched gash on your cheek curving up to your forehead and all, appeared on the Jumbotron after your girlfriend’s PK had you clenching your teeth. It egged on the thoughts of murdering the keeper that had taken her out swirling in your brain, along with the desire to demolish the player who had so callously stepped on her teammate after a play. 

It was why you escaped to the tunnel, to gain some form of control over your thoughts. 

Maybe flying out as soon as you had been cleared by the medics wasn’t such a good idea, but you couldn’t stand being away from Alessia any longer than you had to be. You couldn’t stand being away from the comfort, love, and… safety she offered you. 

God, you sounded like a psycho. 

Or a submissive nearing the end of her rope.

6 weeks apart from your girlfriend was really doing a number on you. 

“Ay bruiser, fancy meeting you here,” Katie said, appearing in front of you with a wide smile. 

You flashed a toothy grin at the Irishwoman, ignoring the way it pulled at the stitches holding your cheek together. “Maccabe, always a pleasure,” 

She caught your arm. “That was one hell of a fight. Thought Less was gonna break my hand during the third round,”

You grimaced. 

The third round was the only one your opponent won. He had caught you with a big overhand right, opening the gash on your cheek and knocking you on your ass in the last 15 seconds of the round. The knees he had followed it up with to your side hadn’t been fun either. He had almost finished you, and you knew it had to be hard for the team and your girlfriend to watch. 

“My hand dipped when I tried to close the distance,”

It really was a game of inches, and he had certainly taken advantage of your small mistake. It was ok, you had gotten him in the end anyway. 

Katie made a sound of agreement, glancing at the tunnel behind you. “Certainly made us all nervous, but I’m happy you took his head off, even if it took you until the last 30 seconds of the fight,” 

She made a little kicking movement with her leg like a semi-recreation of the head kick you had used to end the fight. 

“Didn’t want to rush it,” You shrugged, nodding to the Arsenal girls as they passed you, unable to help the way you automatically searched each face for your girlfriend. 

“Ya missus is still signing for a couple of kids,” She gestured over her shoulder, a knowing smile still playing at her lips. “I can take you to her if you want?”

You shook your head. “I’ll wait here. I’m in no hurry,” 

You also didn’t think you could deal with the sounds of the crowd when your head was still pounding, a consequence of taking a flight with a concussion against doctor's orders you supposed, and you ached every time you took a step, every time you inhaled too deeply really. 

Katie’s eyes softened when she saw the emotions flit across your features. “Come on, let's go to the locker room instead. It’s away from prying eyes,”

She tugged your hand. You let her lead you deeper into the tunnel and into a room filled with wooden cubbies. 

It was nice to let your brain turn off, to just… follow along and allow someone else to lead you. 

“Hey champ,” Leah smiled at you as Katie deposited you in what you assumed was Alessia’s locker. “That was one hell of a fight last night,”

“Thanks,” You winked at the defender. “You guys had a fantastic game too,” 

“I’m not sure a football match compares to a man trying to punch you in the face,” Steph said, glancing at you from her spot near Lottie. 

You made a low sound in the back of your throat, feeling the tightness return to your chest. “But I don’t have people stepping on me after the bell,” 

“But you do end up covered in blood,” Kyra chirped. “We don’t have to worry about that usually,” 

“Most of the time it’s not mine,” You muttered, leaning further into your girlfriend's locker. Her perfume lingered in the cubby, and you let it soothe the frayed edges of your nerves.

You didn’t want to think about fighting. About the person. The savage. you were in the octagon. You toyed with the hem of your sweatshirt sleeve. It was slightly too long because it really belonged to Alessia. She had given it to you before fight week. 

It helped, but it wasn’t her. 

It hadn’t been enough after the fight, and it wasn’t enough now. 

You didn’t think you could wait much longer, but you didn’t have to. 

“The stadium is buzzin,” Alessia said slightly breathlessly, stepping through the locker room door. 

You were immediately on your feet, taking in her flushed cheeks and bright eyes. “Less,” 

A grin instantly broke across her face, and she crossed the room in 3 long strides. Her arms wrapped around you, and without thinking you buried your face in her chest. 

It made the gash on your cheek sting and the tender skin of your jaw ache, but you didn’t care, pressing yourself as tightly to her as you could. She shifted, her nails running over your back with one hand as the other cupped the back of your neck. 

It was gentle, and grounding, and everything that you craved. 

“Hey baby girl,” She breathed into your hair, her voice dipping just a little and sending a shudder down your spine. 

She was like a ray of sunshine, always warm and sweet. It was why none of the fans would ever speculate about the positions that the two of you held in your relationship. They joked that she was too soft to be a dominant, but the people who understood how your relationship worked could see that her mix of firmness and warmth was exactly what you needed. 

She waited for you to pull away first, just enough to meet her eyes. “Hey,”

She leaned in and placed a careful kiss on your lips. “I’ll shower and then we can go, yeah?”

You deflated, your fingers tangling more tightly in her jersey. You didn’t want to let her go, even if it was just for a second. 

“You can come with me,” She said, a knowing look in her eyes. “And tell me all about fight week,” 

“Ok,” You agreed, only loosening your grip long enough for her to grab her shower bag and change of clothes, before you latched back on, holding the hem of her jersey tightly as she led you towards the showers. 

You felt a bit like a child, clinging to her, but she was like a buoy keeping you from drowning in the sea of your rocky emotions, and now that she was close to you, you couldn’t let her go. You were afraid that if you did, you would lose your grip on reality. 

The warm, wet air of the shower helped too. 

It reminded you of your post-fight routine. 

Win or lose you would stand under the hot steam of the stadium, washing off the blood and sweat from the octagon until your coaches pulled you out. It was part of the routine that you had skipped since the docs wanted to stitch your cheek as soon as you were out of eyeshot of the fans. 

Then you had felt so… off balance that you raced through a cold shower and hopped on a plane to get to your girlfriend as quickly as possible. You didn’t even stay for the post-fight press conference. 

“Come on love,” She said, pulling you into one of the stalls, sliding the first curtain shut behind the two of you, and bringing her face inches from yours. 

Her hand very gently cupped your cheek, mindful of the dark bruises that littered the skin, tilting your chin up. Her eyes searched you for a long moment like she was reading your mind. Like she was deciding what you needed from her. 

Her pointer finger very gently followed the long cut that ran under your left cheek, up to your temple, and just above your eyebrow. “I thought they usually put a bandage over stitches,”

Your eyes darted away from her. “I didn’t like the way it pulled at my skin,”

“I think you’d like it less if you got an infection,” She deadpanned, using her thumb to tilt your chin up further as she stepped into your space. “You wouldn’t be able to fight,” 

“But the scar would be worth it,” You shrugged, using all of your strength to muster up fake nonchalance. 

Her lip quirked upward. “Would it?”

You let your own smile morph into a playful smirk, despite the tremendous effort it took. “Chicks dig girls with scars,” 

“I think you’ve got enough of those, cheeky,” She hummed, leaning in and brushing the thick line that lived on the underside of your jaw with her nose. “I like it more when you come out without a scratch on you or a hair out of place,” 

You hummed, leaning back on the stall wall as her lips replaced her nose on your jaw, her teeth grazing the delicate skin as she made her way down the column of your throat and back up. 

Her hips pressed into yours, keeping you pinned to the wall, her thumbs insistent under your chin, keeping your head tilted up as her tongue slid pleasantly against your own. 

You sighed into the kiss, your fingers twisting into the material of her jersey, trying to pull her closer. 

Her thigh flexed between your legs, pressing into you, and you couldn’t help the way your hips rolled down to meet her. 

Or the wince that broke the kiss when the 

movement pulled uncomfortably at your ribs. 

“Babe?” 

You whined as she pulled away, blinking open to meet her burning blue eyes. 

“I’m ok,” You said breathlessly, trying to lean back up to kiss her. 

Her hand on your chest stopped you, as did the perfect arch of her eyebrow that screamed yeah right. 

Her fingers traced down your chest to the hem of your shirt. They crept under your top, meeting the tape wrapped heavily across your abdomen instead of smooth skin. 

Her eyes widened when she pulled up your sweatshirt, revealing the thick white bandages wrapped tightly across your stomach. 

“Want to try again love?” She asked, finally looking up at you with an expression that had a shiver tingling down your spine. 

“Just two cracked ribs and some nasty bruises,” You huffed, shifting uncomfortably when her fingers grazed the material. 

“Just,” She snorted, shaking her head, dropping your shirt, and standing up to her full height. “Why didn’t you tell me last night?” 

You shrugged. “I didn’t want you to worry. The stitches were already enough,” 

“I’d rather know and worry than accidentally hurt you,” Alessia said seriously. 

You looked away from her, swallowing hard. “And I knew you wouldn’t touch me at all if I told you,” 

“Baby girl,” She murmured, her voice going very soft, her thumb very gently ghosting over your uninjured cheek. 

She knew that the come down from fights was always particularly difficult for you. That the power that you held in the octagon always made you crave submission. You craved to not have to think, to just exist, and then to let your being relax in the aftercare that followed. 

This time the desire was amplified by the brutality of the fight. 

She could see you teetering on the edge, fighting the fog that always filled your brain, and while she wanted to scold you for withholding information, she knew that that wasn’t what you needed from her. 

Not when you were already dropping so hard. 

“Ok,” She said, keeping her voice soft as you leaned further into her touch. “I’m going to shower, and you’re going to be a good girl and stay right here for me, alright?”

You made a low noise in the back of your throat, and your eyes slid closed as you nodded very slowly. 

“Good girl,” She hummed, placing a very gentle kiss on your lips, and pulling away. “I’ll be two minutes love,”

You sagged against the shower stall wall. 

You could do that. You could wait 120 seconds for your girlfriend. 

You could and would do whatever she asked you to do because you knew it would help. You knew she would fit all of your loose pieces back together again and make it ok. 

You just had to exist.

[maidragoste]

Chapter Two: A United Front

The Hunger Games AU

Katniss!Jacaerys x Peeta!Reader

Chapter One Chapter Three

First of all, thank you very much for all the support that the first chapter had! It made me really happy to see every comment and reblog, it really motivated me to continue writing 🥰🥰

Please let me know again what you thought of this chapter in the comments, as always, likes and reblogs are appreciated too 💖💖

My inbox is open so I'm always willing to read your headcanons, opinions and answer your questions.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.

Jacaerys was irritated. Firstly, because it is evident that you had already begun to play in front of the cameras since when you two arrived at the train station you did not bother to hide your tears, you probably thought that perhaps this way you could get a sponsor or else your strategy was to show yourself weak and like an easy prey to later fight in the arena. That's what Sabitha Vypren, from District 7, had done in her games.

The second reason for his irritation was his uncle. Larys hadn't said a word to him since before the Repair or even now that they were on the train heading to the Capitol. This was supposed to be the time for them to prepare strategies together, for Larys to give them advice on surviving the arena, but his uncle seemed more focused on enjoying the pork chops and mashed potatoes. Jacaerys was also eating, he was ready to eat everything he could to gain the most muscle mass before the games started, but now and then he would stop and stare at Larys hoping that at some point his uncle would decide to speak.

“So, what do we have to do for Jacaerys to win?” you asked, breaking the silence and making him choke.

You were the first to react, you quickly got up and started hitting him on the back until he finally spit out the piece of meat. Effie looked at him with disgust.

"Are you okay?" you asked, looking at him with concern and now caressing his back. Jacaerys noticed how his uncle looked at the two of them with interest. He had no idea why, neither of you two had done anything extraordinary, he made a fool of himself by choking and you ran to save him…Well, I had to admit that your action was striking, someone else would have let him die by drowning to have one less competitor in the arena, not only that but you just said that you wanted to help him win. It didn't make sense… Unless it was another strategy to gain his trust only to then stab him in the back in the arena.

"I'm fine," Jacaerys responded, putting his hand on your arm to stop your caresses. You blushed and moved away from him as if you had been burned by his touch. “What do you mean by that you said earlier?” he asked you once you sat back down.

"You have a chance to win, Jacaerys," you declared as if it were obvious. Evidently, he couldn't hide his confusion because you continued talking "You know how to hunt and you have good aim. Every time my father buys you squirrels he says that the arrow always hits the eye, you never ruin the body" the boy felt the heat rise to his face at your words and he was sure he was blushing because suddenly you seemed to be stopping yourself from smiling. "So if either of us has a chance of winning it's you. I'll probably be one of the first to die but I think I can be of help in the interview" you said the last thing looking at Larys.

Jacaerys felt his appetite disappear. It didn't sit well with him to hear you talk as if you were already resigned to dying. "She's got a good right hook," he said, looking at his uncle. He couldn't let Larys give up on you quickly, if you lost his interest then he surely wouldn't bother trying to help you win. "Lucerys told me. She hit a boy who was bothering him and gave that idiot a black eye."

"Jacaerys, I won't be able to win just by hitting people. Besides, there are surely tributes even bigger than that boy, they will attack me before I can even land a hit on him."

For a moment he had the image of an unknown tribute mercilessly attacking you with a sword before you had the chance to defend yourself. His stomach fluttered at the image of your broken body.

"You, on the other hand, can attack from afar with your bow. If you hide well you can have an advantage" you continued and went back to eating without realizing that your companion was looking at you with a frown.

Your attitude was irritating him. You should have been trying to impress Larys by saying what other things you can do but instead, you keep talking about him. It did not make sense. It had to be a strategy or maybe you were thinking it was a lost cause to try to win the games by having him as a district partner and his uncle as his mentor. You probably believed that Larys would choose to put all the chips on him just because he was his nephew. That made him furious.

"She can lift weights. I saw her lifting sacks of flour"

You suddenly dropped the cutlery sharply on the table. "Enough, Jacaerys," the annoyance was evident on your face and in your voice. "Don't try to make me feel good just out of pity, please. I know I'm going to lose. Everyone knows that." "You made a gesture with your hand to let you continue talking when you saw him open his mouth." Do you know what my mother told me when she came to say goodbye to me? There may finally be another winner in 12. She wasn't talking about me" you said looking into his eyes.

Everyone knew that your mother was a witch but Jacaerys never imagined that she would be one with her own daughter. It was cruel to tell you that when perhaps it could be her last talk. She should have faith in you. Or at least give you the benefit of the doubt. He wanted to comfort you but he had no idea what to say. Besides, he didn't think his uncle would be happy if he saw him being nice to you. He would tell her that he was weak and that he didn't come here to make friends.

So Jace settled for looking into your eyes, hoping that you could somehow understand that he didn't want you to give up.

"Oh, darling, that's horrible," Effie said, breaking the tension between the two of you, placing a hand on her heart, she seemed genuinely moved. "I think you should try hard to win and prove your mother wrong."

You didn't say anything, you just gave a sad smile to the district escort. A moment ago Jacaerys felt bad for you but now he can't help but think that maybe you only told your last conversation with your mother to gain Effie's sympathy and get her to talk about you to her friends in the Capitol. He hated analyzing everything you did but he couldn't let his guard down with you if he wanted to go home to his brothers. He was sure that if Lucerys was with him and could see what was going on in her mind he would tell him that he was being paranoid. But maybe it wasn't wrong for him to doubt you, Jace thought when he noticed that Uncle Larys seemed to be evaluating you with his gaze.

“Let's start to see who his competitors are,” Larys finally spoke, ending the dinner.

Jacaerys was relieved to see that your stylist had put you in an outfit just like his, at least if he ended up making a fool of himself at the parade he wouldn't be the only one. You're wearing the same shiny leather boots and the same full-length black leotard with the cloak that flutters in the wind. The only difference between the two of you was that your suit seemed closer to your body, highlighting your curves.

As you are taken to the lower level of the Renewal Center, Portia, your stylist, along with her team can't stop talking excitedly about what a sensation you two will be. Cinna, Jacaerys' stylist who came up with the idea of setting their outfits on fire, seems tired of the congratulations. Jace couldn't help but wonder if perhaps he, too, was nervous that it wouldn't work and would end with them dead. You didn't look nervous, which shouldn't surprise him considering you were probably used to fire since he worked at the bakery.

Once they arrive, they basically find a giant stable. The opening ceremony is about to begin so the stylists are having their tributes ride into carriages pulled by a group of horses. Cinna and Portia lead you and Jacaerys to their carriage, both of them carefully arranging the posture of the two of your bodies and your cloaks before stepping aside to talk something between themselves.

“What do you think of the fire?” Jacaerys asked you in a whisper. He tells himself that he's just talking to you to distract himself from his nerves.

“At least we're not naked,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders. Jacaerys grimaces as he remembers those poor tributes who had to parade naked covered in black dust. It had happened years before his uncle became a victor, the only reason why everyone knew about that incident was because whenever the games approached on television they did a recap of the best kills, the best dressed as well as the worst deaths and the worst dresses. In the latter, those poor tributes always appeared.

“Uncle Larys definitely wouldn't have let that happen. He probably would have hit them with his cane as soon as they told him that idea,” Jace said with a small smile as he imagined his uncle hitting the stylists and scolding them. You must have imagined the same thing too because you started laughing. Your laughter was contagious so he soon joined you, feeling his nerves disappear for a moment as well as the heaviness in his shoulders. Cinna and Portia will probably be upset that you two lost your posture but neither you nor Jacaerys seemed worried about it.

"If something goes wrong I promise to take out your cloak while you take out mine," you said trying to get serious again but from the corner of your lips, it was evident that you wanted to smile.

"Deal," he agreed with a small smile.

Jace's calm demeanor disappeared the moment he saw his uncle. He tensed as he watched him walk towards the carriage, ready to feel his eyes judging him and scolding him for acting like a child. His uncle was right to be angry, now the other tributes would see them as weak and stupid.

"I want you to present yourself as a united front," Larys said, surprising his nephew.

"What?"

"If you want to win then you have to do everything I say" the mentor reminded them "So you will go out, hold hands, and greet the audience" In his tone of voice there was no room for discussion but Jacaerys had many questions. He couldn't do any of them because when started playing the opening music Larys headed for the exit.

"Come on, don't look so upset. It's not like I have scabies," you nudged him. If he hadn't been focused on seeing the tributes from District 1 in his glowing robes then he would have noticed how the sparkle in your eyes seemed to have dimmed.

It's not many minutes before you and Jacaerys are near the doors. As the District 11 tributes leave, Cinna appears with a torch. You and Jace don't have time to back away when the stylist turns on both of your cloaks. The three of them sigh in relief when they see that it worked.

“Remember head up and smile. Oh, don't forget the most important thing, hold hands. They're going to love you!" Cinna quickly tells them before getting out of the carriage.

Jacaerys hesitates before taking your left hand. Unlike him, you don't hesitate to intertwine your fingers with his. You give him one last smile before his carriage enters the city. The crowd seems alarmed at first when they see the fire but then they soon begin shouting both their names. Jace can't help but feel overwhelmed by the feeling of everyone's eyes on him so he focuses on staring at the screen. For a moment he is breathless, the two of you look wonderful, especially you look brilliant as you wave and blow kisses to the crowd. In the low light of twilight, the fire illuminates both of your faces and your cloaks seem to leave a trail of flames behind. Cinna got what he wanted and gave you both a chance, no one would forget about you two, you really made a sensation.

You squeeze Jacaerys's hand and remind him under your breath to “Smile.”

Then he tries his best to give his best smile and starts greeting you. Someone among all these people must have wanted to sponsor him. This was an excellent opportunity to win over the audience and he had to take advantage of it. He remembers the words of his uncle Larys, so he raises their joined hands, making the screams increase even more. When they enter the City Circle they lower their hands but neither you nor Jace try to let go. During President Snow's speech, Jacaerys is distracted by feeling you caress his skin with your thumb, he tries not to think about it too much, he tells himself that you must be nervous and you do it unconsciously. Luckily it doesn't take long for the national anthem to be heard and the carriages travel around the circle for the last time. Jacaerys notices that the screens seem to show you two more than the other tributes.

He finishes confirming that it was not his imagination once you arrive at the Training Center and get off your carriages. As Cinna and Portia remove their cloaks, you and Jacaerys notice the angry glances of the other tributes, especially Royce Baratheon, the burly boy from District 2 who volunteered, and his district partner Agatha Durrandon.

Jace notices that the two of you are still holding hands so he lets you go.

"The flames suit you well and you have a beautiful smile" you declared with a smile making him blush.

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[darling-answers]

Breaking the bed/ Desk during Sex Talon Edition.

CLEARLY AS YOU SEE IN THE TITLE! NO MINORS ARE ALLOWED, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BLOGS THAT ARE CLEARLY 18+

Don’t interact, try to send in request or even try to justify your being in my 18+ blogs I don’t wanna hear them nor you should be respecting my rules as I have just as good fanfic that aren’t 18+ go read those ones.

There not really like huge Warnings that are icky but some warning includes,

Praising, degrading, Mommy Kink, obviously talon being talon, AFAB reader, Some have you as the wife some are girlfriend, no reader is really invert, Akande has a more You POV and not the character pov, Boob Kink.

I promise if you send in a request I will try to get to you when I feel absolutely motivated and have inspiration to write yours.

Please please show me love and support I appreciate your guys kindness and even just sharing or reblogging goes a long way!

OVERWATCH continues here!

Reaper

Coming back from a Mission just trying to enjoy his Wife company with his new found sex drive, Moira Experiments recently made his Sex drive go sky rocket. It has been a couple of weeks since he had his own wife pussy sheath on his cock, not waiting to fill in the report to Akande. He instantly heads for his living quarters with his wife, luckily living in the talon base all other agents will do there own thing and leave him to spend quality time with his beautiful sexy wife of 13 years.

The music coming from a room deep inside the huge living quarters notify Gabriel this his wife was home and she was not notified that Gabriel was home, the moment the door slam open a yell was let out, there in all her glory the one person his cock been aching to be in contact with, his beautiful wife. His tent was showing through his pants as she didn’t even hide the obvious fact he was horny for some nice warm pussy. Unbuckling the belt she gently grabbed his wife hair by the hilt and guided her body over to the bed. Shoving her face into the pillow before she could even great him, he pulled her dress up. “ No underwear, what a slut of a woman you are, do you just walk around Talon Base showing off your cuny to whoever that desperate to look at a whore.”

Dragging his cock through his wife folds, he slowly spread her lips spitting at the sweet cunt that is so deliciously slick. He gently poke his cock through her hole, coming to sheath himself fully inside, slowly coming to pull out of her and slam harder into her. Grunts come tumbling out of his mouth as he lets out a hard sigh, he gains speed as moaning and whines follow out of his wife, holding onto the headboard the bed lets out a whole bunch of squeaks before a loud crash follows out, startling his wife cause a loud scream and the muscles of her body tenses

“Fuck! your tight!” His Teeth grits as he let out a grunt, coming to slowly rub at his wife hips, “ Easy, baby, easy your alright, fuck me it scared you didn’t you, I’m sorry I guess I went to hard, don’t worry you did nothing wrong.” He pulls out, his cock is still rock hard as he comes to turn his wife around and rub at her stomach massaging the muscles that were strain. He puts his dick back in his boxers as he lays right next to his obvious scared wife who clearly was startled by the bed breaking

Her heart is racing as Gabriel comes to slowly rub at his wife body laying passionate kisses and firm hands to steady his wife. “ I’m so sorry again I didn’t mean to cause you to worry about me.” You did nothing wrong, you the most amazing and important person ever, thank you for all you do when I go, don’t worry about sex we can always do it later.”

Sombra

“Oh mi corderito que estas tratando de hacerme, estas tratando de poner a prueba mi paciencia no sabia que podias ser tan travieso dejame verte, desnudate para mi." She let out a growl and a purr, disappearing from view coming up behind her girlfriend, as her girlfriend lifts up her shirt cold gloves come up to gently pull and push, swirling her girlfriends nipples coming up to gently push her girlfriend skirt letting her purple underwear be hooked underneath the hacker nails, stripping her off her underwear she comes to gently play with her girlfriend folds while messing with her boobs, “ Nena sabes cuanto me gusta jugar contigo, jugar con estas chicas grandes, deberías saber que no puedo evitar querer tocarte a ti y a esta cosa bonita de aquí abajo. “

coming to swirl her clit around she kissing her neck as she bends her girlfriend over her desk, were credit card information and the latest political stunt she found from hacking for the fun of it, “ Let me make you a Mami, let these tits filled with milk as you take such good care of our baby, she has your eye, and my skin tone, please let me cum inside you.” For the first time Olivia, not Sombra, whimper as she slowly finger her girlfriend swirling her fingers inside the wet cunt of her girlfriends, “ just let go, don’t you dare keep it from me.” Sombra grunts out rocking back in forth between shoving her fingers over and over inside her girlfriend cunt, slowly hitting that spot that causing stars to shift in her girlfriend eyes, blurry eyes and vision, Sombra whimper as she shoved her hips into her girlfriend causing the desk to slowly break from under them making both of them slam into the floor, poor computer cracked but not broken, on the screen data slowly sent to all of talon high member phone. “ Olivia my, hips hurt now! I can’t feel my legs!”

She whimpers as she turns her head to look at her girlfriend who is smirking, head prop up from her elbow. “ we should do that again. Maybe instead of doing it in our room, we could have fun and use The Laboratory.” “ isn’t that M-Moira O’Deorain practical living place, she has never come out of the laboratory unless she has a mission, wouldn’t that make her mad?” “ she can piss off she already made me mad what fun would it be to get revenge!”

Sigma

don’t you even dare try to touch my baby, 😒 I love him so lemme give him some platonic affection and energy this is him breaking something but this is all just platonic.

“ Boo! I got you!.” Sigma wife shouted as she raised her hands, causing her husband who was deep in thought about the ants and fairies. The stuff around them started floating as she let out a little snort realizing that her husband was not in control with his gravity as his hand shook as he let out more stressful mumbles as he frantically moved around not noticing his wife casually floating as she gently pushed her hair down that keep coming up and higher till it couldn’t pull up anymore.

“ Mr Kruiper it time for you to come back to me now.” She a soft smile fills her face as she felt her husband look at her, “ I- I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me.” She felt Sigma slowly moved towards her and flat her hair that kept moving up, she was slowly pulled to the floor as object smash into the ground around them causing a groan from a passing high officer of talon, “ you did nothing wrong Bebe, let just clean up this mess together.” She mumbles as a sweet tone is filled within seibren brain as he happily giggles and start cleaning up the mess around them with his gravity, “ I’m so sorry for scaring you hun I never intended to you be to far in that headspace.” “ it alright you love me and I know that :D.”

Widowmaker

The feeling of a spider crawling into the nest that laid the innocent creature who was the center of attention. That was the feeling that both Lacroix, no widowmaker, and her innocent girlfriend bound by. No one would be breaking the web that Lacroix made for her girlfriend, not even Moira would have her hands near it,

“ Stay still for Maman a besoin que tu te détendes, tu es trop dans ta tête. Laisse-toi aller pour maman, n'essaie pas de lutter, nous y voilà, oui bébé, tu te sens si bien et si serré pour maman" Lacroix mumbled as she gently push you to ride her, bringing your hips to go down and up, trying to ride her without her guidance would be to hard for the small headspace your overdriven into. Coming to gently hold onto Lacroix breast squishing and gently push it and rubbed it, bouncing her hip up and down she let out a whine and a moan as she leaned in to kiss her Maman, “ Mummy! Mummy please, oh god oh god!” She tighten the hold of her grip on her maman breast as her cunt tighten on the strap that Widowmaker kept bouncing her on, cum started to drip all over the strap as a loud break and crash hit the couple as Lacroix let out a big sigh keeping the tight grip onto her girlfriend,

Il est temps de trouver un nouveau lit, non seulement tu m'as chevauché jusqu'à ce que notre lit soit littéralement cassé, mais maintenant le lit est tellement dangereux que nous ne pouvons pas dormir dessus." She mumbles as she come to squeeze her girlfriend butt as she gently lifted her girlfriend off the big purple strap, cum lays onto the French women lap as Lacroix gently pat her girlfriend hair coming up to gently pull a blanket over her body and pull her into another spare room of the apartment, “ this is vexing but we will make do with it until I can get a new bed for us, this time let not have you break it.” She mumbles shyly as she gently picked her girlfriend up placing her on the bed to come over and give her girlfriend as much care as she could give to someone.

Moira

“ oh, how pitiful you must be, coming to me to satisfied your urges, acting like a newborn fawn wanting there Mummy, if you really are that pitiful then me rejecting you should cause you no harm, you can whine and whimper but that will not change my mind, I have work to do go bother some other soul.” Moira let out a tisk going back to doing her latest experiment completely ignoring her wife that was horny and being difficult, normally if her wife said she had things to do she would pout and just let it go until later on, but no, she was needy and not even The Scientific Community would grasp her away from her wife. Moira let out a grunt went hands come to find her waist tugging her away from her excitement, cold slinder hands slowly come to grab around the hair of Moira wife. “ you can’t even control yourself, how can you live knowing that you will do anything to satisfy your urges, does dignity not matter to you?”

She comes to sit down in her office chair picking her wife up by the arms and laying her over her manspread legs, her butt high in the air, Moira landed spank after spank onto her wife butt as muffled wailing was heard coming from the laboratory, flipping her wife over she comes to swaddle her wife like a new born baby, gently opening up her coat letting sucking filled the laboratory, “ you do understand that your little breaks you make me take causing us to waste time with the scientific process that I have dedicated decades to. It not that I don’t appreciate you but you should learn that greedy will only get you so far.” Moira mumbles brushes few strands out of her wife hair as she suckles on her breast, gently lifting up her wife she puts her on the table after

Shooing the lab papers away from the table having them fall to the ground, removing her lab coat as her button up shirt was let open, she slowly unbuckle her pants grabbing her strap throwing lube on it from in the draw ( she doesn’t just use lube for sex, but other expirements.) She gently started rocking into her Wife, coming to slammed deep inside her over and over, her red hair getting in the way of some part of her vision as all she can see is the sweet delicious feeling of her wife cunts deeply nestled into her strap, almost like it was made for her. She lets out a hum as she racked her nails across her wide body as she comes to gently push a little to far into the table causing one of the legs of the table to get out. She stops and looks over at the broken table leg and just hums out a “ what if I test the theory of how much this table pressure can handle before it falls out? Maybe I can make use of this.”

Akande

( it wouldn’t let me add one more photo in so now I have to make do with what I have.)

“ we need to be more careful this bed can not hold on any longer then we have already went through.” he mumbled as he gripped your hand in between his face slowly coming to get in between your neck and shoulder. Letting out smooth kisses onto your neck all the way up until your lips he slowly pushed in further as his hips connected to your pelvic bone a big noticeable bump for throughout your tummy, a whine was it out of your lips as you felt Akande bring your hands down to your stomach so that you could feel how deep he was inside of you, his big hands fit with yours as he brings it back up over yours head restraining you from moving any further than where you were. He let you chuckle. as he starts seeing the bruising, that was there last time, you guys had sex slowly start forming again. Becoming big red spots to Light bruising.

“ you do know I do not have all day to entertain your thought. Well I do appreciate you and this amazing pussy. I have other… Negotiables to attend to so I cannot stay longer than I wish to. You will see me tonight and tonight will be an even better night than what it is now just you wait.” He mumbled into your ear as his big hand coming to hold onto the headboard cause it to snap into pieces of sheer strength, he let out a sigh as it has already happened before, as he slowly move some pieces of wood out of your hair.

We will need to buy a bigger bed. Soon we have already had to thrown away the others because of it, contact my company and see if we can get a new bed as soon as possible for now we will have to sleep in this spare bedroom, I apologize my love.” taking the hands of his lover, he slowly lifted her up with one arm, coming to gently have her in the bathtubs making sure to let out smooth bubbly water come to wash away her aching muscles as he mumbled something about the fact he didn’t get to cum and neither do you, but the safety of yours was more of a priority than anything.

[prestonbrok]

Apart from the belly, something very impressive is that you’re team no-neck. Is trap and neck an important part of your workout? Hugs

Traps have always been an easy muscle for me to grow, but what really made the difference was gaining 100lbs 😄💪🏼

[nonotnolan]

Just Another Sunday

"Eric, what the hell happened to you?" He looked up from his phone with a confused look on his face, as if he hadn't suddenly transformed into a stacked muscle God. I couldn't help but start to hyperventilate a bit. Weird stuff had been happening all over town this week, but until now the three of us had been spared.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," he said, pausing for a few moments before shifting back over to his phone.

"Like hell you don't!" I yelled, stomping across the Joey's kitchen to yell directly in his face. His casual body posture confirmed that I was still dealing with Eric, at least-- my self-survival instincts were telling me that yelling at a man this large was an easy way to get the shit kicked out of me. Joey, Eric, and I had been easy targets for bullies our whole lives. Or at least, we had been until whatever the hell just happened to Eric. "Something weird is going on! You suddenly gained 6 inches, two shades of skin tan, and god only knows how many pounds of muscle. Did you really not notice that happening?"

He laughed, ruffling the top of my head before speaking. "What do you mean I gained all this? C'mon, Bro. I've looked like this for years, you know that." His wide grin deflated a bit as I glared at him, unblinking. "Bro, you're freaking me out. I've always looked like this. Look, here's my camera roll. This is us just last week. Remember?"

Now it was my turn to be confused. Our friend Joey took this photo for us... only it was the two of us clutching our pudgy stomachs and making fun of everyone outside enjoying the last weekend of swimsuit weather. Now here was Eric, every bit as shirtless and as sexy as the people that we had been mocking.

"Seriously, Bro, you're freaking me out a little." Eric pressed the back of his palm against my forehead. "Seems like you might be running a fever or something. I think you'd better stay home and get some rest. I'll ask Master Joey if you can share my bed in his servant's quarters."

Hang on... Master Joey? Something about that didn't sound right. I tried to figure out why that phrase sounded so peculiar, but I was finding it a bit hard to concentrate on anything. It almost felt like a headache, but in a forgetful sort of way. "Hang on... why would I share your bed?" I asked him. "We both have beds in Master Joey's quarters. Something weird is going on. Pull up that photo again, would you?"

We looked at the photo of me and Eric enjoying the Hot Tub one last time before swimsuit season was over. Master Joey loved taking photos of his servants and their masculinity-- all of our phones had tons of photos like this in our camera roll. Why had I been freaking out earlier?

"Sorry, Eric, I'm not sure what's wrong with me," I said, rubbing my hand over my head. Feeling the buzzed stubble always helped calm me down. Well, that and working out at the gym, but that wasn't really an option right now.

"Don't sweat it, Bro," he said, thumping me on the back. "I'm sure you'll feel better tomorrow. Anyway, it's time for our evening progress pic for Master Joey." Eric set up the timer on his phone while I peeled back my tank top. Master Joey loved getting pictures of our hot bodies each night, and we loved knowing that our master would masturbate himself to sleep at the thought of us.

A thought crossed my mind. "Hey Eric... is there any reason we don't let Master Joey have sex with us every night?

He laughed, thumping me on the back a few more times. "You know, it's funny... I was just thinking the same thing. Having Master Joey's cock up my ass actually sounds pretty nice. Should we make that our new evening ritual?"

"I think we should," I said, nodding in agreement. What was the point in having such a plump and meaty ass if no one was going to use it? And anyway, it was the least we could do for the man who allowed us to serve under him. Weird stuff has been happening all over town this week. It's a relief to know that Master Joey will always keep us safe.

[spicyspiders]

A buried and a burning flame

Johnny Storm x male reader smut.

2k words.

I recently rewatch both of the old Fantastic Four movies and it reminded me of how down bad I was for Johnny Storm. Warning for smut and unprotected sex.

You had met Johnny a few years before he became the Human Torch. He was already a busy man– always on the go and usually surrounded by a group of onlookers, but it all seemed to ramp up once he gained his powers.

After you had met, Johnny always recognized you and greeted you with a warm smile and a hug, a fact that always made you hope to run into him at events around New York.

“There he is!” Johnny says when he sees you walk outside. He pulls you into a quick hug, his blue eyes crinkled at the edges when he pulls away with a smile on his face.

“Hey, Johnny,” you respond, sending him a matching smile.

You were almost hesitant to go to Sue and Reed’s wedding again. It turns out that trying to tell the place you rented your tux from that the jacket had been destroyed when a silver man on a silver board would only leave you with a pissed off employee angrily holding out his hand for your card to charge you for the destroyed jacket.

“What was this place called?” Johnny asks.

“I don’t remember,” you did remember, but really, you just wanted to forget all about the situation. You’re surprised there isn’t some type of insurance for people who are friends with superheroes to replace damaged items just from being in their vicinity.

“If you remember,” Johnny presses his finger into your chest, “you let me know. No one messes with my friend,” his tone and expression are serious until it melts away as his facade breaks into a smile.

“It’s fine, Johnny,” you reassure, “it’s just a jacket,” you say with a laugh. “But if you sister asks why I didn’t bring them a gift, tell her that’s what I had to spend it on.”

Johnny’s head tips back as he lets out a loud laugh. He stays close for the rest of the day keeping you at arms length. During the moment Sue tosses her bouquet into the air, his arm wraps around your waist as you watch the display. When you look back over at Johnny after clapping for the women who caught it, he already looking at you, a warm look in his eye.

That was the closest you thought you would get, but by the time the reception was dying down and you left after saying your goodbyes and congratulations to the happy couple, you found yourself even closer to the other man.

With how close he was to you throughout the day, you almost thought it would be crazy to leave without kissing him, but luckily, Johnny had the same idea in mind as he crowds you up against the door to your hotel room. Even under the expensive tux he wore, Johnny felt like a wall of hot, hard muscle as you pulled him closer as your back met the door.

You let out a soft noise from your chest when Johnny’s tongue moves into your mouth. His mouth feels even hotter than his skin, making your cock twitch at the thought of where else his mouth would end up through the night.

You’re panting when the kiss ends, only to be pulled back into another kiss as you stumble to the bed. Johnny lets out a grunt when his legs meet the edge of the bed and he falls back, he laughs up at you as the kiss abruptly ends.

You chuckle down at the man before you pull off your blazer, “hey! Easy!” Johnny says after you toss the blazer into one of the corners of the room, “I know you’re eager,” he says and you let out a laugh before he continues, “we don’t want to pay for another blazer, do we?”

You roll your eyes at the man as you continue pulling your clothes off, trying your best to keep going while also trying to watch as Johnny begins taking his off. He sends you a smirk each time he catches you looking, his eyes full of mischief.

Once you’re both down to your underwear, Johnny gathers you into his lap. You moan into his mouth when you grind against his clothed cock, his tongue running wetly along yours. Much like how he kept you throughout the day, Johnny’s arms wrapped tightly around your body to keep you close. His hands start at your body and trace down your skin, but then they’re grabbing handfuls of the globes of your ass to grind your cocks together.

“Johnny,” you moan when his hands go beneath the waistband of your underwear to make skin-on-skin contact. His hands are hot, and the feel of his fingers holding handfuls of your ass tightly only causes you to moan louder. You gasp when one of his fingers dips into the crack of your ass and runs along your hole, and you push back into the contact.

“Do you have-”

“Yes,” you respond quickly.

“You don’t even know what I was about to ask,” Johnny says back with a laugh.

The smile falls from his face when you pull yourself from his arms, and you’re tempted to immediately get back into the spot you left and kiss away his frown. You’re quick to grab the lube and condoms you brought and toss them down beside Johnny’s leg.

“Did you expect this?” Johnny asks as he pulls you back down into his lap.

“I always come prepared,” you respond against his mouth before your lips are against his.

While your lips are locked together, you hear the sound of the cap to the lube opening. You let out a light noise into Johnny’s mouth when you feel one of Johnny’s lubed up fingers at your hole.

You exchange kiss after kiss as Johnny gets you ready. Your tongue runs against his as one finger becomes two, and when a third joins the others, a string of spit is connecting your mouths when Johnny pulls away.

Johnny pants against your mouth when you reach a hand down between your bodies to wrap your fingers around both of your cocks. When his three fingers brush your prostate, your hand jerks, pulling a groan from Johnny’s throat.

“Won’t be able to fuck you if you keep going,” Johnny says, his hips jerking towards your hand to get more.

You pull your hand away slowly and bring it up to your mouth. The salty taste of Johnny’s precome hits your tongue when you lick over your fingers, and when you’re done, Johnny pulls you into a wet kiss. You both groan at the exchange of the taste, and the kiss ends when the taste is nearly gone down your throats.

“Taste good?” Johnny asks, his hand goes to your throat to trace his fingers along your Adam's apple as you swallow.

You nod quickly as you grab for the condom. Johnny watches you with dark eyes as you get the condom out and rolled down his cock.

Once you’ve lifted yourself up, Johnny holds your asscheeks apart, making you feel open and exposed. You gasp when the head of his cock breaches your hole, then it’s all left to gravity.

“Holy fuck,” Johnny moans, “so fucking tight and hot. And come from me,” he groans as you clench down on his cock, “that’s saying something.”

If it was anything like the hot line of Johnny’s cock inside your hole, you believed him. The burning line of his cock almost made it feel like there was no condom, like it was just skin-on-skin and nothing in between.

Johnny’s hands move into the same position that they were before you sank down on his cock to aid you as you lifted yourself. You placed your hands on his hairy chest for balance as you went back down.

When your pace quickened, Johnny fell back onto the bed, his hands at your hips. Your head fell back and your eyes closed when Johnny shifted his hips and on each downward motion, his cock hit your prostate.

“You’ve got it,” you hear Johnny say to himself, and then the pressure of his hands are gone, and you’re left to lift yourself up and bring yourself down. You open your eyes to look down at Johnny, taking in a fucked out appearance.

With his arms behind his head, his hair messy, and his eyes dark and half-lidded, Johnny laid there and let you do all the work. Thankfully, his sturdy chest made it easy to lift yourself up and then fuck yourself down onto his cock.

“Gonna make me do all the work?” You ask down at Johnny.

Johnny sends you a smirk, “it seems like you got it. Sure feels like you do, too,” he responds.

You let out a breathy laugh, “that’s fine,” you say before slowing down. Your pace slows into a slow grind. You wrap your fingers around your cock as you circle your hips slowly. Your eyes close once more as you pull at your aching cock.

Johnny’s skin goes hotter under your fingers as he growls. You let out a yelp in return, and your eyes fly open as Johnny pulls you off his cock and flips you onto your back onto the bed.

“Little fucking shit,” Johnny says, his voice low. He lifts your legs to his shoulders, and nearly bends your body in half before he thrusts back inside. With the angle feeling deeper than before, you both let out moans as he gets back inside.

“This what you need?” Johnny questions after he sets up a brutal pace. The slap of your skin coming together rings throughout the hotel room, sending a thrill through your body as it gets louder. You hope no one is in the rooms surrounding yours, knowing that the sounds of what you’re doing can be clearly heard through the walls. You can’t decide what would be more mortifying: getting a call from the front desk to quiet down, or them trying to call, and not being able to hear it from how loud you’re being.

You nod eagerly, unable to use your words as your mouth is too busy letting out moans and groans. The closest that you get to words is mixes of curses and Johnny’s name.

“Gonna burn this condom off and-”

“Take it off,” you whine after finding your voice.

“Want me to come inside you? Fill you up?” Johnny growls, his hips coming to a halt against your ass.

Yeah, you did, but also you were pretty sure condoms were highly flammable. You didn’t know how in control Johnny was of his powers, but you didn’t want to risk it. Really, you probably shouldn’t have been a condom the entire time. It’s too bad you were currently too turned on to stress over it.

After Johnny pulls out, the condom sails over the side of the bed and lands on the floor, and you hoped it landed far away from your blazer. A second later, the worry leaves your mind as Johnny thrusts back inside.

“So fucking hot, baby,” Johnny moans after he bottoms out. His mouth meets yours in a wet, sloppy kiss as he resumes his brutal pace.

Your nails dig into his back as his cock nails your prostate over and over again. It only takes a handful of thrusts for your cock to be spurting messy white ropes up your chest as your orgasm rocks your body.

Johnny answers your loud moan with one of his own after his thrusts stutter off and then still as his orgasm hits. Like he had done before pulling off the condom, his hips still against your ass, coming as deep as he can inside your willing body.

“Holy fuck,” you moan, much like how Johnny had earlier. His come was so hot that you could actually feel it shooting inside you. That’s new.

“Should’ve warned you,” Johnny slurred out in post-orgasmic bliss. He presses a soft kiss to your lips before he pulls your legs from his shoulders and lays himself onto your chest, “sorry,” he says after pressing another kiss to your lips.

“It’s okay,” you say softly against his mouth.

Johnny rolls you over so you can lay against his sweaty chest. “Can you ever forgive me?” Johnny says into your hair as his hand runs down your back.

“For burning my insides? I guess I can, just this once,” you say into his chest as you run your fingers through his sweaty chest hair.

“Just once?” Johnny asks, his hands move to your ass, and you can barely contain your shiver when Johnny’s fingers run through the mess leaking from your hole.

[jolapeno]

i. say what you want

javier peña x f!reader | chapter one of late night texts

summary: It's the year 2000. Javi is minding his own business on the porch of his pop's ranch when a text from an unknown number vibrates his phone. The only problem is, no one knows he has a phone and no one has his number.

chapter warnings: fluff. romcom vibes. an: i really wanted to write actual 00s text talk, but it broke my brain and made it hard to edit so, forgive me. pls imagine all the cul8r and yw's. massive thank you to @guyfieriii for convincing me to write the idea i hammered on about and holding my hand as i do. wordcount: 2.5k.

read the prologue

text key: bold is you/reader | italics is javi

Boredom flitters through him, trickling down his bones in the same way a bead of condensation drips down his beer.

His eyes track it, watching it land in the pool on the worn, splintered porch table. 

He was tired, drained. Fingers and thumb working his forehead as the other taps an unknown beat against the arm of the chair: a habit, a routine. 

Javi didn’t follow his Pop to the television or the tavern. He seated himself out here, taking in the fields—both the new and recently fixed fences that kept the livestock alive and merry. 

It hadn’t always been his thing, just more so since he began sleeping a bit better—having found it easier to switch off one night when he sat out here. The day slowly rolled from his shoulders with each brush of the warm breeze, each muscle trying to unknot with a rustle of the trees. 

That and it gave him privacy in learning how to use his new phone. 

The one bought with the intention of not needing to stand hovered near the kitchen on the landline whenever Steve insisted on checking in on him. 

He was the only one with the number—outside of his Pop. The option to hand it to others when he felt like it, he’d been told. Mainly, Javi had strongly suspected it was pandering to an alternative way for Steve to bother him about how happy he was, and how Miami would be good for him for a week or two.  

Now someone else had it. 

Someone unknown. Who wrote with a speed he couldn’t emulate, watching a reply fly back before he’d even wrapped his head around what was happening. All black letters standing out against green—

Truthfully, if not for how panicked and stressed they had sounded, he would have ignored it. Later, even deleted it (once he’d figured out how). 

But, because he couldn’t, it goaded him. 

His thumb slid his phone on, staring at it—the small, ridiculous exchange. It torments him in a way that unfurls something with him. 

Curiosity, mainly. A need to know more. 

Wrapping his fingers, he takes a mouthful of his beer. Continuing to clutch the neck of it, resting it on his knee. Staring at the lit screen on the table, his thumb and index pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes closing—shutting out the way the evening sun waves goodbye to the day. 

It’s easy to force himself to forget about the throbbing in his palm from fixing another fence panel—and the simmering prickling after he saw a small boat pass. It’s harder to ignore it. 

The phone on the table, the one he lands on as he cracks open his eye, the one he can’t pick up and just see—ask. 

It’s always been a problem, his need to close the lid on something. The not knowing pecking in the back of his head all day, if not—had done since he was little, led to him gaining even more invisible scars from Colombia. 

But it’s also what had made him good. 

Even if, for all his success and accolades, he was alone on a Thursday night. Sat on the porch he’d grown up on—his own father even has plans. 

He shouldn’t text. He should delete the number like he was asked to—forget all about the random stranger and their date. 

how’d your date go

Truthfully, Javi regrets it the moment he sends it. The moment the sound registers in his ear—sound simmering to nothing before it drenches him. 

Bouncing his leg, he coats his throat in more of his beer. Swallowing it back quicker than he’s found, he can even text. Rolling his phone, swirling it between finger and thumb as he stares across the land—listening to the evening sweep over, the cicadas waking up, the rustle of the breeze in the trees.

Why are you texting me? I’m intrigued

He keeps it short. Sweet. 

It allows for quickness, pressing send and for his fingers to go back to flexing, needing to tap.

A sudden desperation on the tip of his tongue—nose itching for the scent of burning papers and tobacco leaves. Instead, pressing the button on his phone, seeing if he’s missed a text, or a reply.

Even if he’s been holding it the entire time, knowing he would have felt the vibration through the pads of his fingers down to his wrist. 

His stomach slowly slides, uncomfortably dropping to his feet with a thud. Regret washes over, the itch growing more intensely as the hunger for a smoke increases. Wishing he hadn’t given them up a year ago—hadn’t tried to kick the habit to appease his pop. Wishing he hadn’t been able to do so successfully, so he could light one now without feeling culpability. 

Mountains of regrets begin to pile all over again. Little ones. Adding up into bigger—

They didn’t show. Happy?

He pauses. 

His stomach drops another inch. Happiness is the last thing he feels. 

Grabbing the beer from the table as he takes a sip, more graceful—less through a need to busy himself and more for courage. Hand clutching his phone, the green-lit screen standing out as the chirping croon around him. 

shit, I’m sorry about that We can stop texting now. What if I said I didn’t want to I’d wonder if you’re bored or lonely.

That makes him smirk. It cuts across his face, paints over the day's aches, the text slicing through the day's misfortune. 

Ones such as the stares when he went to the hardware shop—even if he’s been back for a while; the gossip that he could hear in thick whispers on the aisle over—as though they weren’t all used to him being home. 

All of it vanishes. All because of a quick-witted text. 

can a man who has moved back in with his pops at 30-something years old be both  Overachiever that’s what I hear Should tell you, I'm not going to tell you what I’m wearing. Last night was a rarity, not a common occurrence.

He takes another sip, licking his bottom lip, shifting in his chair. His fingers slowly press buttons—but the blinking line swallows them all, thumb hammering to delete. 

This should be easy—talking to a woman. 

Javi has never usually had this problem. But, then, his tongue has typically said the words his brain has thought up. Now he has to type them, allowing him to linger on them—especially with how slow he is, and how quick you are. 

it’s not the underwear that had me coming back to text you, it was you

Oh. So you’re a charmer.  Not sure it’s the usual word women call me, but I’ll take it  Because you’re bored and lonely. 

He snorts, if only to himself. 

The stars slowly twinkle, shining above him as he mumbles, “fuck”. Staring out into the nothingness, suddenly feeling not quite as empty as he had done when he first woke. 

yeah because I’m bored and fucking lonely, hermosa

I shouldn’t text you. 

probably a wise choice

Yet I am. 

And I kinda want to. 

you like talking to bored and lonely men? 

Not usually. But you do seem charming. 

it’s a gift

Since we skipped pleasantries and jumped straight into my underwear choice, do you have a name?

I do

Hilarious.

it’s Javi. 

Okay, Javi who lives with his dad—how’s your evening?

Is it an appropriate response to a bad day to drink two bottles of wine?

depends on the day

It was real shitty.

then drink away, hermosa. you ok

I will be. 

Not because of the wine. Because I’m out of town tomorrow so I don’t have to deal with the person tomorrow. 

colleague giving you shit?

I think it may be his life's purpose to make my day as shitty as it can be. 

I can relate 

Worked with an asshole or two in your time, Javi? 

most definitely. one day I may even tell you about one named bill

I look forward to it. 

Guess from that comment you don’t mind that we’re still talking?

not even a little bit

is it weird to ask you how your day has gone? 

You bored again, charmer? 

just taking an interest 

It’s fine, hotel food kinda sucks, so I’m tucking into some chips and dip. 

they at least good, the chips and dip? 

Oh, I only buy the good kind. I don’t cheap out on dip. 

I never asked, did you ever find Aish’s number? 

Yes. One digit, that was all between you and her. 

Also, she finds the entire thing hilarious. Because, of course, she does. 

I think if this happened to Steve, I’d find it funny too 

Steve your friend or? 

wouldnt you like to know 

A girl is just trying to make a conversation

he’s a friend from my old job

You see him much? 

no. you see Aish much? 

Not as much as I’d like. But, more my fault, I travel a lot for work. 

I see. what kind of dip you got? 

If I tell you, I fear you’d know too much 

that a bad thing, hermosa 

Well, a girl can’t so easily let you know her weakness, Javi. 

He used to hate the rain. 

Despised the smell that lingered after a good fall, how it trapped him in or soaked him to his bones if he ran through it. 

Now, he finds it pleasant—watching it fall in waves of mist that cools the air and hammers itself into the ground. The sound of the television flutters from the living room to his ear, merging with the tapping of his pencil against the newspaper—his eyes busy fixated on watching the heavens open amongst the ranch. Drenching, washing away bits and pieces it can. 

If someone had told him he’d have gotten into crosswords back in Colombia, he’d have thrown the paper at them. 

Now though, it was therapeutic. A mystery with no significant risks, no real need to finish it—but he never left it half-done all the same. 

Guess who tried to rearrange the date. you told him no, right I told him to fuck off, actually. 

Javi laughs. 

It escapes quickly, dancing right past his bottom lip—before he mutes it. He clasps his lips around it, swallowing it back before his pop asks him what he finds so funny. 

Pushing the newspaper away, the pencil rolls and rolls until it collides with the wall, his fingers circling over the keys, thinking—processing. 

Sometimes a response to you comes with ease; others, he finds he thinks more carefully. Each message he wants to be considered, intentional. An ember having ignited in his chest, not sure what it meant—why it was there—but not wanting to give it any reason to have it stuffed out. 

as a minimum you deserve someone who tells you they can’t make it on the actual night  Charmer.  bare minimum, hermosa I know what that word means now, btw.  btw? By the way. It’s quicker than repeatedly clicking buttons.  I don’t think I asked, what do you do? 

Stroking his fingers across the hair above his lip, he pauses. 

Biting down on the inside of his mouth, a pang of regret flooded him. 

At times, it comes in waves. Washing over him when he thinks of what he used to do, what he’s good at—compared to what he does now. 

Biting the inside of his mouth, Javi lifts his eyes to watch a droplet falling down the pane of glass—trailing a path, merging with others until it creates a blow on the sill. 

He likes being home—has to remind himself that he does too. 

Especially when his muscles ache, new cuts on top of other ones—crosswords and occasional beers being the excitement he now comes to expect. 

Sighing, it’s swallowed by the show in the other room and the rain falling heavier—spotting, in the distance, the cows lying down, one by one. 

you want to know a lot for saying you wanted me to delete your number btw to answer your question I work on the ranch my family owns  A rancher? Good to know you’re good with your hands.  That sounded more flirtatious than I meant. I don’t mind.  And just so you know, hermosa. I am. 

He wipes his thumb across his smile, foot tapping on the wooden floor, staring at the screen. 

It's happened before, the edge of flirting. The two of you step towards it before one of you pulls back. 

His heart thumps in his chest, fingers flexing on the table—so used to the hue of green now, it’s all he sees when he blinks. The vibration his phone makes registered in his bones, his body trying to convince him he’s felt it as he waits. 

It’s cruel. The way seconds turn into minutes. 

His phone screen dulls before he relights it. 

I don’t even know what to say to that.  well are you good with your hands I’m a quicker typer than you, so I think that’s a given. 

He smirks, it cuts into his cheeks—shaking his head in disarray as he leans back in the chair. It protests. Practically cringes under the new movement. 

Like much of the house, the years have done a number on it. So much of it all the same from when he was growing up—just fixed, repainted, repurposed. 

At first, he’d found it hard to be surrounded by it. Almost swallowed by memories—both the good and the bad. 

Now, he just thinks it’s paused, frozen in time. Sometimes, a tired mind even lets him believe his Ma could turn the corner, asking him if he’ll bike to get her flour.  

I was DEA in Colombia. it’s how I met Steve  I can imagine with all of the news coming out of there, that would have been hard.  Something like that  My first job was in my dad’s tool shop. I wasn’t very good at it.

Rolling his head to rest on his shoulder, he reads your message a few times. 

The change in conversation was appreciated, not that he’ll voice it. He briefly wonders if it’s a tactical choice or accidental. 

Hoping it’s the former as he takes in each letter, each word—fingers teasing his chin, rereading as he imagines an outline of a person sitting somewhere, curled in. Just like he is. 

Maybe staring down, waiting for his reply, like he waits for yours. 

A break from the mundane, a pleasantry in a sea of normalcy. 

Something he wants to protect—hoping you do too. 

How come?  Apparently, continuously mixing up tools isn’t good for customers—even if my dad was impressed with our profit increase.

49 down is slither

What’s the clue again?

skeleton section

You do this every day? 

I try 

yes okay I do 

It’s ribcage, Javi.

you hermosa are brilliant 

Glad you’ve caught on, charmer. 

I think you’re just finding a reason to talk to me, because that one was easy. 

I don’t need a crossword to find ways to talk to you

No? 

no, there’s lots I don’t know about you 

I’m not that interesting. I promise 

I doubt that. 

Favorite way to start your day? 

Wouldn’t you like to know? 

an: anyone grinning as much as me...

next chapter ->

[miaaluvspaige]

A Game of Hearts

Pairing: FootballPlayer!Reader x Caitlin Clark

The roar of the crowd was like an electric current in the air as you stepped off the team bus, your cleats clicking against the pavement. Game days always came with a rush of adrenaline, but tonight felt different. It wasn’t just about the game under the Friday night lights; it was about the fact that Caitlin Clark—*the* Caitlin Clark—was going to be there, watching you.

You had met her a couple of months ago during a shared athletes' event at Iowa. Both of you had shown up late, grabbed the last two seats available at the same table, and by the end of the night, you'd talked and laughed more than you'd ever expected. Her competitive drive was inspiring, but her down-to-earth attitude and sharp wit were what really drew you in.

Tonight, you had more on the line than just football. Caitlin had texted you earlier in the week, teasing, *"I’m coming to your game. No pressure, though. Just don’t mess up with me watching, superstar."*

You'd tried to play it cool, but knowing she’d be in the stands had you more nervous than you’d like to admit. You threw on your pads and adjusted your helmet as you stepped out for warm-ups. As you jogged across the field, your eyes couldn’t help but scan the crowd, and there she was. Caitlin, wearing your jersey—the number *you* wore—sitting front row with that easy smile of hers.

Your stomach flipped, and you had to remind yourself to breathe. You had a job to do.

“You good?” one of your teammates asked, slapping you on the back.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you mumbled, trying not to focus too hard on the fact that Caitlin was right there, watching your every move. You shook it off, running drills and focusing on the upcoming game, but her presence was hard to ignore.

---

The game was tough. The other team was relentless, and the hits were harder than usual. But every time you felt yourself start to falter, you thought about Caitlin sitting in the stands, and it lit a fire in you. You broke through tackles, ran harder, and every yard you gained felt like a step closer to proving yourself—not just to your team, but to her.

The final quarter was close. You were down by six, with just minutes to go. As the ball snapped, you pushed through, running harder than you had all night. The stadium blurred, the only clear image in your mind was that end zone—and the thought of Caitlin watching you.

You broke free of the defense, sprinting for the touchdown, and the crowd erupted as you crossed the line. Breathless and grinning, you turned to look at the stands. There she was, standing up now, fists raised in triumph, her smile wide and full of pride. Seeing that made every bruise and aching muscle worth it.

---

After the game, you were sore and exhausted, but the win gave you an extra surge of energy. You barely made it to the locker room before your phone buzzed in your pocket.

Caitlin:"Nice game, champ. Meet me outside?"

You rushed through your shower, quickly changing into fresh clothes before heading out to the parking lot. The cool night air hit you as you spotted her leaning casually against her car, arms crossed with a grin playing on her lips.

“Well, look who showed up,” Caitlin teased, walking toward you as you approached. “You were pretty impressive out there.”

You laughed, rubbing the back of your neck. “Just trying to make sure you didn’t regret coming out to watch.”

“Trust me, I didn’t,” she said, her eyes sparkling. “You crushed it.”

You looked at her, heart pounding in a way that had nothing to do with the game. The chemistry between you two had been simmering for weeks, ever since that first meeting. Every text, every flirty comment had brought you both closer to this moment.

“So,” you started, trying to keep your voice steady, “I was thinking… maybe now that I won the game, I’ve earned that date?”

Caitlin’s smirk was undeniable, her eyes glinting under the streetlights. “You didn’t need to win for that. You’ve had it since our first conversation.”

The words hung in the air, and you couldn’t help but smile. Without thinking, you closed the distance between you, pulling her into a hug. She fit perfectly in your arms, and for a moment, the world felt still. When you pulled back, she was looking up at you with that same confident gaze you’d seen her wear on the court.

“Next time,” she said softly, “maybe we’ll play a little one-on-one. See if you’re as good with a basketball as you are with a football.”

You chuckled, already feeling the competitive spark between you two. “Game on, Clark. Just don’t get mad when I win.”

“Oh, trust me,” Caitlin grinned, leaning in just slightly, her breath warm against your skin. “I don’t lose easily.”

And neither did you. This was only the beginning of your game with Caitlin Clark, and it felt like a win no matter where the score ended.

[galacticgraffiti]

Sugar (I've developed a taste for you)

❁ 2 ❁

!!! NSFW ⋆ 18+ ⋆ Minors DNI !!!

Summary: A favour for a favour - Astarion's world has worked like that for centuries. Except- you don't know that yet.

Rating: Mature Wordcount: 3.3k Descriptors: I try to keep my reader-inserts fairly neutral, but let me know if anything slips through the cracks! Still debating how to go about C3... CW: nicknames, flirting, lusting after the pale man, blood, blood play, talks about biting, feelings talk

« Chapter 1 ⋆✦⋆ Main Masterlist ⋆✦⋆ If you prefer AO3 ⋆✦

༻────• ༻❁༺ •────༺

Chapter 2: I'm a Winged Insect, You're a Funeral Pyre

You wake up wrapped in your bedroll, barely able to open your eyes. You feel exhausted - drained.

Drained.

You sit up, your hand flying up to your neck to feel for the wound Astarion’s fangs must have  left there. They are small, barely tangible, but you can feel the small holes nonetheless.

You breathe out slowly, trying to gain some control over your feelings. The world blurs before your eyes as you recall last night.

This really happened. You let him do that to you. You gave your blood, willingly - and you found out Astarion’s big secret. Not just an elf, but a vampire. You knew he was hiding something, but something this big? May the gods have mercy on your soul because you have certainly sinned.

You shiver when the memories of last night push to the forefront of your mind - Astarion’s hand in your hair, his lips on your neck - his teeth in you. How it felt to be drunk from, how easy it was to give in and let him have what he wanted.

You don’t remember passing out, but you must have, because you have no recollection of making your way back to the campfire.

Carefully, you stretch out your sore muscles, bones and joints cracking.

“Good morning, darling.”

Astarion’s voice makes your head whip around. He is sitting there, on the thick stump of a tree right next to where you always sleep, watching you with concerned eyes.

“Good morning.” Your voice is scratchy, your throat drier than the seventh circle of the hells.

Astarion’s tongue peeks out from between pink lips, and you notice that he looks… invigorated.

“How are you feeling, sweet thing?” He sounds genuinely worried, and your heart flutters. “There was a moment last night- I thought I may have taken too much, but then you stirred in my arms… I am sorry, my dear, you just make me… hungry.”

The way his voice drops on the last word makes your heart flutter. If this is how he acts after you do him this favour, it may well have been worth it.

“Mhm.” You nod slowly, trying to focus your mind. You are not nearly as angry as you probably should be. “May have been a bit much. I’m feeling sort of woozy.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I do apologise. I promise I’ll be more careful next time.” He saunters over, kneeling next to you, his finger stroking your cheek. 

“Next time?” You laugh weakly. “You sound very certain there will be a next time.”

His eyes darken.

“Well, won’t there be?”

Your neck cracks when you stretch, then exhaustion makes you sink back into your little nest of warmth again.

“Mhh. I’ll have to think about it.”

“But- but I thought you liked it.” Astarion’s voice sounds vaguely distressed, his hand pulling away from your cheek. “I could taste it on you- I could feel it-”

“I- Gods, I’m not saying I didn’t… enjoy myself,” you clarify, though your cloudy thoughts are making it hard to put into words what exactly it is that you are feeling. “I’m just- you said it yourself, just a taste, but now you admit you lost control-”

“-I’ll get better at it with time, who was ever perfect the first time they did something?”

That shuts you right up. What in the hells does that mean?

Astarion’s face is guarded when he looks at you.

“It was… the first time I did not drink from an animal,” he explains quietly. “You were my first, and you were perfect. Better than anything I could have ever dreamed of, simply divine. A delectable treat that I was not in the least prepared for. I am sorry if I got a bit wrapped up in the moment, my love.”

Your cheeks flush at his words. Never in a million years would you have thought you might enjoy being called a ‘treat’, and yet, here you are.

Astarion pats your blanket, gently pushing you back down until you give in and roll up in your blanket once more. His voice is soft and gentle when he regards you.

“Now, now, my pet. Rest some more; it seems you need it. And… thank you.”

You can barely keep your eyes open, and the small smile on his face is the last thing you see before you slip off to sleep again.

*****

It becomes a regular occurrence after that. You know it shouldn’t, you know it is a stupid risk each and every time. You know you have less strength the next day, your head swimming and your throat aching. But, oh, to watch Astarion fight fuelled by your blood is a delight you never expected.

He is stronger, much more powerful than you ever saw him before - and happier. His behaviour does not change, exactly, but every once in a while, you now catch him trying to take care of you in small, nearly imperceptible ways. It astounds you, it surprised you - but you can’t help feeling flattered by his attentions.

Each time he drinks from you, the pain grows less and the odd ecstasy that accompanies it takes over more and more. It is intoxicating, to feel him so close to you, to witness the noises that escape him, and feel the bobbing of his throat when he swallows what your body provides. You start to look forward to the nights where he finds you.

Each time feels more intimate than the last: From the beginning of it all in that stream, to a secluded place in the woods by the campsite, to his lavish encampment, then yours, then his again, and finally, against a column in a forgotten crypt, when you two stay behind to loot the place while the rest of the party moves on.

It’s getting harder to separate your body’s reaction to something so visceral from feeling aroused by the power that comes with it. To look into Astarion’s blood-red eyes and know they are shining only because of you has an odd effect on you.

And while he whispers sweet nothings, while he groans and whimpers as he drinks you down, you always try to keep up some semblance of control: After that first time in the river, no noise ever escapes you, even though your jaw hurts from clenching.

You wonder vaguely if it is sick that you derive pleasure from this arrangement - but then again, so does he. It is all worth it to see how happy he is, though he waves Gale and Karlach’s comments of his improved mood off like bothersome flies.

Astarion keeps his promise - he never drains you as much as he did the first time, even though you can see in his eyes that he would keep going every time if he thought you might survive it. He never asks for seconds again, and you are grateful. If he did, you are not sure you could deny him.

It has been a while since he last came to you - a few days, no more, but you have gotten so used to your little ritual that it feels like an eternity.

You have moved camp since the last time you got to spend time together; deeper into the forest, on your search for the druid Halsin. You try not to think too much about the fact that Astarion has not sought you out. Trying to keep all this a secret has turned out to be harder than either of you thought. No opportunity has presented itself for a while now, and you have to be rational about the arrangement. It’s not in either of your best interest for the group to find out what you two have been up to. You would rather bear the lewd comments in quiet dignity, thank you very much.

Astarion consumes - well, not your every waking thought, but you find yourself thinking much more about him than you should. It’s not just his fangs that you daydream about either - his lips have snuck into your dreams, his hands, his voice. It’s just not fair.

Thus, tonight, you are determined to find a quiet place for the two of you. The urge that grows inside you must be satisfied. You tell yourself that you do this to make Astarion stronger - you have seen him weaken throughout the week, trying to survive off of animals the way he used to. But it’s not the same.

Now that you have seen what Astarion can do, you want to see him like that all the time: powerful, striking down enemies quicker than you can draw your weapon sometimes. And it’s not just for selfish purposes, either: You want him to feel like that all the time.

And so, you concoct a plan - simple yet effective.

After dinner - Karlach cooked, so it was actually quite enjoyable - you excuse yourself to go explore the surrounding woods. You tell your companions that you want to find another source of water, under the pretence of needing to wash your clothing. Actually, it may not be all pretence - you do smell. So do your companions, which is why no one has complained yet. But you may as well use the time exploring the forest for something helpful aside from just luring Astarion away.

When you catch the way Astarion’s head pricks up when you say that you are looking for a quiet place with water, you know that he has caught on. He is too smart for his own good sometimes, but this time, you are glad about it.

Anxiety grips your  stomach as you wander through the darkness below the thick trees and hope that he might follow you.

What if he doesn’t? What if you happen upon a wild animal before he finds you? Maybe he has lost his taste for you, or-

“There you are, darling.” His voice has become so familiar in the last few days, quiet and demanding at the same time. You wish you didn’t like it so much.

You turn around to find Astarion much closer to you than you had anticipated. He is always so quiet.

“Here I am.” You cock your head. “Was there something I could help you with?”

“Oh, don’t play coy with me now, sweet thing.” He steps closer, cupping your face in his hands. “You knew exactly what you were doing when you left camp. You were hoping I would come find you, were you not?”

“Maybe.” You try not to give in, but he feels too good- too warm, too comforting. His teeth shine in the moonlight when he laughs and your belly tightens.

“Ah, I knew it. You missed me.”

You raise a brow and stare at him defiantly: “You have lacked in battle recently. I thought you might need to be… replenished.”

“And that was the only reason, was it?” As he leans closer to you, you step back, one, two, three steps until your back is pressed up against a tall fir tree. “You were worried about my… performance?”

“Yes,” you whisper. His lips are so close to yours you can feel his breath on your face. Your eyes flutter shut as you let your head fall to the side to expose your neck.

“Liar.” Astarion sounds amused by your weak attempts to defy him. “You missed me- you missed the way I make you feel.”

His lips descend onto your neck in a way that feels nearly like worship. You suppress a sigh at the sensation - gods, you have missed this more than you should have. He smells so good, despite the rough days you have been having, and the way his hands pull at you makes you shiver all over, tiny fire of desire exploding on your bare skin where he touches you.

“I was thinking…” he mumbles. “Your neck seems a bit… sore. Maybe we should grant you some reprieve.”

“I’m fine.” Your answer is too fast, and Astarion’s chuckle makes your heart beat faster.

“Of course you are, little pet. I’ve kept my promise after all, haven’t I?” His tongue flicks at the tiny scars his teeth have left in your neck and you bite your lip to cut off a moan. Your body quivers, though, your back arching for a split-second before you regain control. Astarion’s smile is audible in his voice. “Even if you don’t want to admit it, your body has missed me, my love. I think it’s time we stopped pretending, don’t you?”

“Stopped pretending what?” Your voice is breathless, and all you can do is hope that he might mean what you so desperately hope he means.

Astarion’s lips lift from the sensitive skin of your neck.

“Why, pretend you don’t want me, of course.” He says it like it is the most obvious thing in the world. And maybe, it is. “Pretend like you don’t need me just as much as I need you. Did you think you could hide how your pulse quickens when I touch you? The flush in your cheeks, your little breaths… Your body betrays you, little pet. You have been careful, my darling, but not as careful as you might think you have been. All those small noises you thought I couldn’t hear… tsk.”

He shakes his head. You chew on your lower lip, anxiously waiting for his reaction to your not so secret secret. A coppery taste floods your mouth and you realise you must have broken the skin of your lip by worrying it.

You raise your finger to wipe away the drop of blood, but your hand is caught by a pale one. Astarion inhales sharply, his body pressing up against you, his thigh slotting between yours as easily as if it had always belonged there. The rough bark of the tree presses into your back and you become acutely aware how trapped you are by Astarion’s arms in a way that turns the spark of arousal in your belly into a full blown fire.

Astarion’s thumb paints circles on the back of your hand as he stares at the drop of blood on your lip intently, hypnotised by the dark red sliver of pain against your skin.

His voice is gravelly in a way you have never heard before, and you shiver when he raises his hand to smear the blood until it covers your lips.

“Mhh.” He cocks his head. “That’s better, my love. Perfect rosy lips for my perfect little pet. Oh- don't look at me like that, darling, it’s alright. Does it hurt? Let me help you with that…”

It’s not a kiss, not really. His mouth meets yours desperately, licking at the small wound where your lip split. You tell yourself it’s not a kiss, but your body reacts like it is anyways. Your nerve endings light up in a fiery cascade of pleasure, and your hands fly up to Astarion’s waist, pulling him closer into you.

His tongue licks at you and your lips part easily, but he does not take the opportunity. Instead, he laughs quietly as he pulls back.

“Oh, you liked that, didn’t you?” He sounds content with himself in a way that would infuriate you if you were not so turned on right now.

You ashamedly stare down at your boots. And you nod.

Astarion’s finger tilts your chin up gently until you have to raise your head and look him in the eye.

“Don’t look away, my darling.” He strokes your cheek. “There is no need to be ashamed. You should have told me earlier that this was what you really wanted… mixing pleasure and pain is always a good idea, sweet thing.”

“I wasn’t- I mean, I didn’t-”

“Didn’t what? Don’t lie to me now, little pet. You know I can always tell.” His lips are so close to yours it feels like you can taste him already, his eyes dark and fiery even in the dim light of dusk. “What do you want? Be honest with me now.”

Your hands bury in his hair almost of their own volition, soft silver curls tangling between your fingers.

“Kiss me,” you whisper. “Please.”

You sound desperate, but you cannot bring yourself to care. Not as Astarion exhales, and closes the distance between you. His lips taste of your blood, bitter and coppery, but his tongue in your mouth is the sweetest honey. By the gods, he is good at what he does - soft noises falling from his mouth, his hard body pressing against you. His thumb rests against the pulse point of your neck, right where he left you scarred, and you feel like you are floating.

When he finally pulls back, you are both out of breath. His lips shimmer red from the blood on your own, and you can feel his desire - he looks at you like you are the most delicious meal he has ever seen after starving for years.

Maybe you are.

“Why did you bring me here?” he asks, his voice quiet and commanding. “What is it that you really desire, sweet thing?”

“I want you,” you admit, hating how your voice breaks even between those two words. “You may… need me, but I have come to realise I need you too. It’s not… you- I mean…”

“What is it, my darling? Use your words.” The gentle encouragement mixed with just the vaguest tint of mockery goes straight to your core and you curse your body for being so weak.

“I… I know this began as a favour,” you start, unsure of how to phrase what has been growing between you in such a short time. “But I… you know, it’s not just that anymore. Not for me. I… I like it.”

Your confession makes heat rise to your cheeks, and you bite your lip. Astarion stares at you, uncharacteristically lost for words, so you drone on.

“I like doing this for you- I like knowing I am helping you, I like knowing that you feel better- that you have become stronger because of me. I like seeing that your hands don’t shake so much anymore, and I like seeing you smile across the battlefield. It makes me happy- you make me happy. And you know, the pain fades after a while. I actually find it… quite… well, enjoyable. The way I feel when you drink from me… gods, Astarion, it’s indescribable.”

The flood of words spills from your lips like you have been holding it in for months, not days. Astarion still just stares at you, dumbfounded by your confession. Finally, he clears his throat.

“You… like it?” It sounds more like a question.

Gently, you take his hand into yours.

“Yes,” you confirm, smiling at him softly. “I’ve loved seeing you happy.”

“You- oh.” A plethora of emotions plays out on Astarion’s face in mere fractions of a second. You watch him intently. Finally, he clears his throat. “Well, I… I really don’t know how to respond to this. You, my love, are simply… incredible.”

Your smile grows broader.

“Why, thank you. I’m glad you finally noticed.”

A small smile appears on Astarion’s face at your teasing remark.

“I have been happier, haven’t I,” he muses. “I haven’t really… been happy in so long, I never noticed until you pointed it out.”

You worry your lip, but decide not to press him about it.

“I’m glad I can give you something,” you simply say. 

Astarion’s hand holds yours a little tighter.

“You give me more than I have ever dreamed of,” he murmurs. A devilish smile darkens his features as his eyes wander up and down your body. “I think it’s about time I give something back, don’t you think, my darling?”

༻────• ༻❁༺ •────༺

Previous Chapter « ❁ » Next Chapter [coming]

Hmmmm he is consuming my brain (much like the tadpole hshsh get it) ANYWAYS I am way too emotionally invested in him I support his evil. He has actively made me worse and I love him for it.

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[engeorged]

Dear Alex

Dear Alex,

I can’t really remember how many times I’ve started writing this letter and how many times I’ve thrown it in the bin. It’s a really shitty way of doing this but I just don’t think I can tell you any of this to your face. I’m too embarrassed. It all started as a prank, a way to level the tables with the both of us. I meant to tell you sooner but I guess it got out of hand and here we are. I’m gonna have to start at the beginning I think. You’ll know all of this, just not my side of it I guess.

After university when we moved in together I wasn’t sure we’d last as room mates for more than a few months but it was so easy hanging out with you and we were both the same level of untidy so we didn’t piss each other off. We did have those tricky few weeks a few years back when we dated the same guy without realising but he turned into the biggest ballsack on the planet so it wasn’t hard to get over that!

I’m only mentioning that because that’s not the reason I got you fat. It wasn’t revenge for anything. I don’t fully remember the original reason to be completely honest, it wasn’t really a thought through thing, it just sort of happened. And yeah I know I just threw that it there. I got you fat. I mean you definitely played your part in it but I really messed with you man and I’m sorry.

It was innocent at first, I noticed when you started your new job and you were tired all the time, you started going to the gym less. I think it was when we were decorating the kitchen one weekend and you were painting the ceiling, I saw your rounded little pot belly when you were reaching up. All those late night take aways and evenings sat in front of the tv watching the football were taking their toll. Your flat muscled six pack was disappearing. It instantly filled me with hope. You had a flaw I could exploit!

It pains me to say this but of the two of us, you’d always been the hot one. Don’t get me wrong, on my own, I’m not bad looking. In fact if someone asked me I’d probably say I was a nine, it’s just that next to you, I’m a seven at best. Your blonde hair and permanently tanned skin made you the hottest guy in most rooms. All 6’5 of you was built like a cartoon of a rugby player which made it even worse! You’re a solid ten man and you always have been. I don’t think I realised how jealous I was until I saw you had a flaw. That solid curved furry belly I glimpsed gave me the seed of an idea. If you were fatter, it might even the playing field. I’m not proud of this, I just think you’d reserve the truth.

It started gently at first, I’d make twice the amount of food I’d normally make when it was my turn to cook. I’d pack the fridge with snacks and unhealthy things for you to pick at. I’d hand you beers when we were watching the game. You were so zoned into the match you never noticed me topping up your snacks or replacing the bud lights with full fat beers. Over a few months I watched as your little curve turned into a more substantial beer belly. And fuck you if it wasn’t the most perfect beer belly I’d ever seen. I was hoping it would make you less hot but turned out it made you hotter. Instead of a flabby pimply gut covered in stretch marks, you developed a firm round belly with perfect skin and even kept your Adonis belt. That’s when it got serious.

The first thing was gainer shakes. I started sprinkling gainer powder in everything, adding it to every meal or sauce I could dissolve it into. Everything I cooked for you was loaded with butter and ghee to double the calorie count. I found larger versions of our plates so that I could increase your portion sizes without you realising. I even started buying your clothes a size up and replacing the labels so you wouldn't realise. I was literally feeding you up like a fattened calf. And boy did you balloon. The first phase was months long and you gained 20/30lbs but this second phase was like you were being filled with an air pump. I can’t really believe I could do this to someone, especially someone who I would call my best friend.

It all came to a head yesterday when I crossed the line big time. That’s why I’m writing this letter now and actually sending it. I can hear you now snoring from your bedroom. Sleeping off the mammoth meal I stuffed into you across the evening. I’ve been awake all night and I keep going in to check on you to make sure you’re still breathing. I can’t believe you ate as much as you did and I can’t believe I pushed you into doing it.

I was only planning on slipping you a few of the tablets I found online. They were definitely safe and I want you to know I checked them and double checked them to make sure they were ok for human consumption. I guess that gives away the fact that they were actually for animals. I think they are used by wagyu beef farmers to get cows fattened up before they are butchered. They are supposed to increase appetite and metabolism. I popped two in your beer before the game and started my usual sneaky increase in your snacks. It wasn’t hard as you always put a lot away when our team is winning and they were three goals up by half time. I think at that point you’d eaten two bowls of Doritos and dip, a plate of sliders and a whole pan of chilli which I think would have served 8 comfortably. That was on top of the best of a crate of twelve beers. Your belly was swollen up to it’s usual bulging mass and you were already rubbing the sides to alleviate some pressure. I should have stopped there but I couldn’t help myself. I slipped you another few of the tablets. I guess in hindsight, the first two hadn’t properly kicked in at that point which meant that by the time the second half had started they were in full force. I couldn’t keep up with the snacks and you’d pretty much polished off the lot by the time the match had ended.

For the record it was your idea to order pizza. Your belly at that point was totally rounded out and your T-shirt was stretched over it’s taut surface. I guess you were pretty buzzed because you ordered four xl meat feasts. I didn’t really have any choice but to let it happen. And you might not remember any of this but you basically inhaled the first two. By that point you were fully maxed out. Your belly was tight and even the xxxl T-shirt you were wearing (that you thought was an xl) was beginning to show a few inches of your swollen belly. You could hardly move and I felt awful. Well that’s not totally true. I was actually pretty pleased at the state of you. My plan after all was to make you gain a few pounds so I’d be hotter than you and you’d basically blimped.

Anyway, what happened next I am truly ashamed about. You were laying there on the sofa clutching at your belly. The tablets clearly convincing your brain you were still starving, even thought your belly was basically an exercise ball now. And you were just moaning with the two pizzas next to you. And that’s when I snapped. I jumped up and shoved a whole slice into your mouth. You gaged but then after a few chews swallowed it right down. Slice by slice I pushed the remaining two huge pizzas down your throat. I could literally see your belly blowing up in front of me. When eventually I reached into the box for the next piece and found nothing, I realised what I’d done. I stepped back and looked at you. Spread eagle on the sofa, your belly sticking way up and round. Covered in sweat and grease. It’s as if I stepped out of my own body and realised what I had done to you. You were fucking huge man.

I left the room and went to my own to consider what to do next. I was half appalled and half in awe at the size of you man. When I came in half an hour later you were fast asleep and snoring like a pig, your gut still very much occupying its space. Guiltily, I managed to get you into your bed and laid you on your back so your belly could reach its full swell. I pulled your belt off so your stomach wasn’t under any pressure. I didn’t want you to pop or anything.

As I said I know our friendship is probably over but I want you to know I’m truly sorry. I took this way too far and I regret it. I’m happy for you to do what you need to do, and if that’s punch me in the face then so be it. I hope that in a few weeks you’ll be able to forgive me but if not then I understand and I will move out if that’s what you want.

In the spirit of fully disclosure, I want you to know that even though you’re maybe 100lbs fatter than you were, I still think you’re a ten. In fact if I’m really honest, I think you might even be hotter than that. Your belly last night was horrifying but also strangely attractive. The firm roundness of it and knowing how much food I’d crammed in there was actually quite erotic. Sorry if that’s tmi but I think I wanted you to have the whole truth. I have a small suspicion that you’ve actually enjoyed getting bigger and if that’s wrong then I’m sorry for presuming. But I actually wonder how big we could get that thing.

Let me know what I can do to make it up to you, or if I’m right and you wanna continue.

Yours apologetically (and hopefully)

Nate

Continued at Dear Nate

For the rest of my stories click here

[wilderghost]

oh, you kissed me, just to kiss me

fandom: natsume yuujinchou

pairing: tanunatsu

summary: He scrambles to cover the page, slamming the notebook shut in a flurry of papers. “Those don’t mean anything, Sensei!”

“Oh, come on. Any half-witted fool could tell how distracted you’ve been lately, and while I wasn’t entirely sure why until now, it’s obvious. You’ve been thinking about Tanuma.”

word count: 10.8k

Ao3

—

There’s something different about Tanuma, recently. Takashi couldn’t put his finger on it for the longest time, but lately he’s started to realize what it is. 

Tanuma has been undergoing a growth spurt. Once that had dawned on Takashi, he hasn’t been able to stop looking at him. He doesn’t mean to stare—the last thing he wants is to be creepy or weird, especially towards him—but it’s really hard not to look and it’s somewhat easy to do it in a way that no one notices. He stares when Tanuma is talking to him, when they’re walking together and Tanuma is striding ahead of him just a bit, from across the hall at school when Tanuma isn’t paying attention. 

In the past couple of weeks, it’s become so obvious. Tanuma is different. He’s gotten taller. His shoulders have broadened, and even through the school uniform it’s evident that he’s been gaining muscle too. The planes of his face have sharpened just the slightest bit. He looks older.

It’s hardly surprising. They’re halfway through their second year, and Tanuma is going to turn seventeen soon. Everyone is getting taller and looking more grown up. But for some reason, on Tanuma it’s so…stark. Maybe Takashi just thinks about it too much, but he hasn’t noticed it happening to his other friends quite as plainly. 

He pays such close attention to Tanuma. He isn’t sure exactly why. All of his friends are so dear, and he adores them so much, but whenever Tanuma is nearby it’s like there’s a magnet that’s drawing Takashi straight to him. He wants to take every opportunity to study the way his hair falls around his face and how he slouches when he walks and the words he chooses to use when he speaks. It’s always been that way, in retrospect, but for some reason it’s been on his mind much more lately. It might have something to do with how much Tanuma has been changing, or it might not. 

One thing is for sure, though, and that is the fact that the growth spurt is mesmerizing. Takashi doesn’t really know how to feel about it. He definitely feels some specific type of way, but he hasn’t worked out just what it is yet. He doesn’t know the word to describe the feelings that stir in his belly when he looks at Tanuma and has to tilt his head back just a little more than before, or how Tanuma’s smile doesn’t lift his cheeks quite the same way. It’s…different. It’s the same Tanuma he’s always known, but it’s also not. There’s an understated maturity, a subtle sophistication that has maybe always been there but is definitely more pronounced now. 

Takashi doesn’t know if he likes it. Change isn’t usually a good thing. Change means loss and heartache and things becoming unfamiliar when they were once such a comfort. When things stay the same, it means he’s safe and secure. 

Maybe it’s silly to feel frightened by something as normal and inevitable as physical growth. He’s been growing too—he’d just gotten new shoes a few months ago and went up half a size. But then he thinks about the fact that they’re all hurdling headlong into young adulthood and that thought is terrifying. 

Tanuma’s growth spurt has been bringing all those thoughts to mind a little more lately. Still, Takashi wouldn’t say he dislikes the way he’s beginning to look now. The other day, Tanuma had come to collect him from his classroom after school and something about the way he’d opened the door and leaned nonchalantly against the frame made Takashi’s brain spit out the word handsome. 

He’d blinked in surprise at himself. Yes, he supposes that Tanuma is handsome and always has been, but he’d never explicitly thought it before. Is it weird to admire that quality about a friend? Is it weird that, when he’s walking by Tanuma’s side, he wants to reach out a take his hand? Is it weird that he wants to know so badly how Tanuma’s body would feel pressed against his?

It’s probably—definitely weird. He thinks sometimes about what it would be like to sidle up next to him the next time they’re sleeping over at Tanuma’s house, what it would feel like if Tanuma wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close.

He usually shuts those thoughts down quickly, though, because they feel taboo or something and they always make his stomach churn and his face feel really, really hot.

Takashi has never been a particularly touchy person. Growing up, no one had really ever seemed to want to touch him, and that was okay. On the occasions where people had, it usually…wasn’t a good thing. But he always looked at other families, always saw parents holding their children’s hands or scooping them up into hugs. He saw lovers with their arms twined around each other’s waists. He saw friends high-fiving or hanging off each other in ways that spoke of profound familiarity. He saw all the ways that touch meant affection and love and it took a while but one day he realized that he was aching for it.

Nowadays, the people in his life are far more affectionate than anyone else has ever been. Nishimura, especially, casually touches him in the way he’s always seen friends do with one another. Even if Takashi doesn’t necessarily always want it—it’s hard to get used to, really, when there’s always been an invisible barrier between him and other human beings—he appreciates it for what it is. It makes him feel like a normal person, like maybe he isn’t as different from his peers as he’s always thought. The way Touko and Shigeru pat his head still makes him blush, makes his insides feel warm, even though it’s been over a year since he moved into their house. He hopes he never takes these small acts for granted.

Tanuma is different—in all aspects, he is different. He resides in a different realm from every other person Takashi has ever met. They don’t touch each other very much. It feels like a forbidden thing, like Takashi is only allowed to do it under special circumstances. Not because of anything Tanuma has ever said or done, but because the thought of touching Tanuma is terrifying. Tanuma is…precious, and fragile, and something to be treasured and revered in the way one would put a beautiful ornate plate on display in china cabinet. There to look at and admire and enjoy, but to keep locked away behind glass.

So, usually, they only have contact if Tanuma initiates it first—and he doesn’t very often.

For the longest time, Takashi has been okay with that. More than okay, because being able to call Tanuma his closest friend is a privilege that tops everything else. But in the past few weeks, there’s been a strange itch building. An itch to hold Tanuma’s hand, to press his cheek against his chest, to be close to him. The more he thinks about it, even though he tries his hardest not to, the more he thinks it might definitely be linked to the fact that Tanuma has grown. And that is puzzling in and of itself. Takashi doesn’t understand it, and he understands even less what to do about it.

There’s nothing he really can do. Nothing except stew in frustration and try not to think about it. His efforts don’t seem to be doing much, though.

He groans and lets his head fall onto the textbook sitting open on his desk. He’s been trying to do his homework, but he hasn’t made much progress.

“What are you moaning about now?”

Takashi rolls his head sideways. “Nothing.”

“It’s definitely something. You’ve been staring at that page for an hour now.”

“It’s nothing, Sensei. I just…have a lot on my mind.”

“Hm.” Papers rustle as the cat jumps up on the desk. “Looks to me like it’s just one thing.”

Takashi’s head snaps up. Nyanko-sensei is standing by his notebook, studying the doodles in the margins of his scant notes. He’s horrified to realize that most of them are of Tanuma’s name. He’s always had this habit of doodling absentmindedly when he’s thinking about something and not paying attention to exactly what he was scribbling. He hadn’t noticed just how many times he’d written it, and it brings heat rushing into his cheeks. How humiliating.

He scrambles to cover the page, slamming the notebook shut in a flurry of papers. “Those don’t mean anything, Sensei!”

“Oh, come on. Any half-witted fool could tell how distracted you’ve been lately, and while I wasn’t entirely sure why until now, it’s obvious. You’ve been thinking about Tanuma.” He comes to stand directly in front of Takashi and his eyes narrow in accusation. “Why?”

“It’s none of your business. And it doesn’t matter, anyway.”

“I would argue that it actually matters a lot.” Nyanko-sensei lifts a paw and jabs it at Takashi’s forehead. “Like I said, you’re distracted, and that makes you vulnerable. If your head’s not in the game, it’s easier for spirits to attack you, and that makes it my business.” When Takashi bats him away, he sits back and turns his nose up in the air. “Really, you’ve always been obsessed with him—though I’ll never understand why—but this is just getting ridiculous.”

Takashi groans and falls back to lie on the floor, covering his face with his arm. He really doesn’t want to be having this conversation right now, or ever. “I don’t know. I don’t understand it either.”

Nyanko-sensei is silent for so long after that that Takashi removes his arm and lifts his head up to look at him. The lucky cat is sitting stone-still, regarding him with a strange expression.

“What?”

Nyanko-sensei makes a thoughtful noise. “Humans are so stupid, it’s painful to watch sometimes. You, especially.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

He sighs. “If you want to see him so badly, why don’t you just go over to his house?”

“I can’t just intrude like that last-minute.” He drops his head back and stares at the ceiling. Now he’s thinking about what would happen if he did go over to Tanuma’s house unannounced. The thought lights a spark of excitement, but he can’t. What would he say? “He’s probably having dinner right now, anyway.”

“All the more reason to go. I’ll come with you.”

“I’m not going to his house, Sensei.”

“You’re hopeless. You’ll never get anything you want if you don’t ask for it, you know.” The cat stands and stretches with a yawn. “Well, if you’re not going to do anything interesting, I’m going out drinking. Bye!”

Before Takashi can get out another word, his sensei hops out the open window and disappears.

Takashi is left with the words ringing in his ears.

—

He thinks long and hard about the conversation in the days following. Has he really been that distracted? Nyanko-sensei is right about one thing—he can’t afford to let his concentration slip. Balancing his time between humans and spirits is getting harder and harder as each world takes up more and more of his thoughts and energy. He thinks he’s been doing a decent job of juggling his responsibilities to each, but maybe his sensei did have a point.

He’s been thinking about Tanuma a lot. When they’re together, he takes all of Takashi’s attention. When they’re not together, Takashi is wishing that they were. Maybe it is becoming a bit of a problem, but it isn’t one that he knows how to solve. Nothing bad has come of it yet and Takashi intends to keep it that way, but what is he supposed to do about it?

He’s sitting by the pond near his house one afternoon. It’s late summer and the fireflies are beginning to wink awake as the sun sinks lower in the sky. Nyanko-sensei is out again—Takashi doesn’t know where he could’ve possibly gotten off to now, but he doesn’t care too much at the moment. A warm breeze rustles the tall grass and carries the scent of wildflowers over the water to him, and he’s glad to be alone. It’s peaceful and quiet, the type of environment he doesn’t get to enjoy very often.

“Oh, hello, Natsume.”

He screws his eyes shut and tries very hard not to groan aloud. One afternoon. He just wants one all to himself.

When he turns, he’s a little surprised to see a familiar michiyuki coat. “Hi, Hinoe.” He doesn’t let his irritation slip into his voice since it’s not really fair.

She sits in the grass beside him and raises her pipe to her lips. “It’s a nice evening, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Her energy is calm and it’s clear she hadn’t been seeking him out, so Takashi relaxes. “What are you doing out here?”

“I just felt like taking a walk, and I remembered the fireflies gather out here so I decided to come and watch for a while.” She exhales a thin stream of smoke. “You?”

“The same, more or less.”

It strikes Takashi, sometimes, how most spirits aren’t all that different from humans. Here they are, at the same place at the same time, for the same purpose. It’s endearing how so many spirits enjoy simple things too, like watching fireflies and admiring flowers.

“Hmm.” She looks out over the water, the breeze blowing her hair back from her face the slightest bit. “I like to come here to think. Being near water is good for reflecting, don’t you agree?”

“I guess it is.”

She looks at him then, a thin eyebrow lifting almost imperceptibly. “Is something on your mind, Natsume?”

He blinks. “What makes you ask that?”

“You have a thoughtful look about you right now. Usually it doesn’t seem like there’s anything going on in your brain, but you look different now.”

He chooses to ignore the insult. “I…guess I have a few things on my mind.”

“Would you care to talk about it?”

“Not really. It’s human stuff. I doubt you’d be interested.” He draws his knees up to his chest and rests his chin on them, picks at a loose thread on his pants. “It’s just… Have you ever cared about something so much it hurt? Like, if you suddenly lost it, you think you’d die? And you want to do everything you can to protect it, even if it means locking it away and never getting to see it anymore, but at the same time… You miss it more than anything in the world. The whole time it’s right next to you, and you still miss it.”

He doesn’t know where the words came from, or why they suddenly spilled out of his mouth before he could stop them, but maybe that’s okay. Hinoe is probably as neutral a party as he could find, and she had asked. Even if she doesn’t understand or care all that much, maybe it’s okay to get this off his chest.

Hinoe gives him a strange look. She tilts her head and studies him for a moment too long before saying, “No.”

Takashi sighs. “Figures.”

“Does this thing that you miss need so much protecting?”

“Yes,” he answers without thinking. “Well—yes. He wouldn’t need it so much if I wasn’t around. And maybe it’s selfish of me, but I—I can’t not be around him.”

Hinoe starts laughing then. It starts as a chuckle and escalates until she’s doubled over and wiping tears from her eyes.

Takashi is taken aback. He has no idea what she could possibly be laughing at. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, you really are dim sometimes.” The laughing tapers off and she fixes him with an amused smile. “You could have just said you’re in love.”

Takashi goes rigid. The words strike him like lightning. In love?

He’s not—he’s not in love.

Being in love is when a boy and a girl go on dates to the movies and hold hands and get married. Being in love is when Nishimura won’t stop moaning about a girl who will never return his affections. It’s when Touko and Shigeru sit together on the porch and Touko lays her head on Shigeru’s shoulder and he puts a hand on her back, and…and they share a chaste kiss when they think Takashi isn’t looking…

Suddenly it feels like his face is on fire.

He can’t be in love with Tanuma. Tanuma is his precious friend. He’s a boy. That’s… That’s impossible.

But then he thinks about Tanuma’s gentle smile, his long fingers and his dark eyes when they look into Takashi’s. He thinks about how being with Tanuma makes him indescribably happy in a way he’s never experienced with anyone else. Being with him… It’s the best thing in the world. He never wants to be anywhere else.

For a moment, he allows himself to imagine the two of them like Touko and Shigeru. He pictures himself older, in a house, cooking dinner while waiting for Tanuma to get home from work. In his mind, they eat a quiet dinner and play shogi as the sun sets through the open sliding door. They walk to town to go shopping together, hand in hand, and have matching umbrellas by the front door. They kiss, soft and sweet, as often as they like.

Takashi can almost taste his own heartbeat.

“Did you…” Hinoe’s voice pulls him from the fantasy. “Did you not know that you’re in love?”

“I’m not.” He mutters it under his breath, feeling like he’s in some sort of trance.

“Please.” Hinoe takes another drag from her pipe. “I’d know that look anywhere. I see it on humans all the time.”

He’s reeling. He doesn’t know the first thing about being in love. Is that really what this is? “I’ve never been in love before. I don’t know what it’s like.”

“I suppose I couldn’t really tell you what it’s like, but you are most certainly in love, Natsume.”

Something occurs to him suddenly. “You were in love with Reiko, weren’t you?”

Hinoe waves a hand dismissively. “Spirits being in love is different.”

That doesn’t sound quite right. He’s met plenty of spirits who were in love before, and while every story was unique, most of them loved so deeply they were willing to go to the ends of the earth for the ones they cared about.

“I was in love with her.” A wistful look comes over her as she gazes out over the water. Her hair covers her face so that Takashi can only see her nose and mouth. “But it’s foolish to fall in love with humans, so I didn’t entertain it.”

Something squeezes Takashi’s chest. “I…think I can relate, in a way.”

“What are you talking about, boy?” She sounds exasperated now. “You’re in love with another human. You get to experience growing old together, living a human life. Don’t dismiss that privilege.”

A faint pang of guilt hits him and he curls in on himself a little more.

“You say you want to protect him by staying away from him, but that’s the stupidest thing you could do. If you love him, stay by his side. You can protect him best from there.”

Takashi pulls in a sharp breath. “He—he doesn’t even know how I feel.”

“Why the hell not?”

He blushes again and scowls. “It’s not something you can just talk about! It’s… It’s complicated. He might not feel the same way, and I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.”

“I’ll never understand humans,” Hinoe deadpans. “How is he supposed to know how much you treasure him if you don’t tell him? Unless you want to take it to your grave.”

Does he? Does he really want to keep these feelings to himself and never have Tanuma know just how much he cares about him? That thought makes him feel a little ill. But, so does confessing to him.

Confessing.

He shakes his head. “I don’t know what I want.”

 “Well,” she says, standing slowly and reaching a hand down to him, which he takes. “Don’t take too long to figure it out. You’ll only regret it if you do.”

Takashi stands and brushes off his pants. The sun is almost down, and darkness is enveloping the forest. He smiles. “Thank you, Hinoe. I didn’t know you were so good at giving advice.”

She scoffs. “Why are you so surprised? I’ve been around a long time.”

“Well, thank you, anyway. I’ll see you around.” He turns in the direction of his house and starts to walk off before she calls after him.

“Natsume?”

He pauses and looks back over his shoulder.

Hinoe smiles in a gentle way he’s not sure he’s ever seen from her before. “Whoever this boy is who’s the target of your affection, he’s lucky. And he must be very special, to be loved by you.”

Takashi blinks rapidly. His vision blurs and his nose smarts, but he ignores it. “Thank you, Hinoe.”

—

Takashi taps his pencil against his textbook. He can’t stop fidgeting lately.

“Natsume.”

He lifts his head off his fist and looks at Taki questioningly.

She smiles softly, a look that’s almost akin to sympathy in her eyes. “Is something wrong? You seem…distracted.”

It’s getting a little annoying how often he’s been told that in the past week. He had asked to come over to study together, but once again, he hasn’t done much studying. It’s not really the main purpose of his visit. They’ve been at it for nearly an hour, and the majority of that time has been spent trying to work up his nerve to broach the real reason he wanted to come.

It’s stupid how embarrassed he is to talk about it. The conversation with Hinoe had simultaneously cleared some things up and raised a whole slew of new questions that he has to work through now. So he’d come to Taki’s house to see if she could help, but he didn’t plan on just how hard it would be to bring it up to her.

“I, um.” He looks down at his book and feels his face warm up. “I was actually wondering if I could talk to you about something.”

He can feel the energy shift in the room. Taki stiffens and the curiosity that immediately emanates from her is almost palpable. “Of course you can.”

Takashi bites the inside of his cheek and fishes for the words. When he comes up empty, his blush deepens. He closes his textbook and slides it aside, fingers tightening round his pencil.

Taki waits patiently for a few moments before asking, “Is it about spirits? Is everything okay?”

The concern in her voice makes Takashi feel guilty. “No, no. Everything is fine. It isn’t about that.”

“Oh.” She sighs. “That’s a relief. Um… What is it, then?”

He closes his eyes, pulls in a breath, and forces the words out in a rush. “I think I’m in love with Tanuma.”

Silence stretches between them. Takashi can’t bring himself to look at her. He doesn’t know what he’s so afraid of, but this revelation is so new and jarring that he wouldn’t be able to stand it if she reacted with judgment—not that he thinks she would. But if she were to react badly, how would Tanuma react, if Takashi ever confessed? The three of them are so close. If he was ever to act on his feelings, he would need Taki’s support.

Taki makes a small gasp and Takashi finally looks up.

She’s covering her mouth with both hands and her eyes are shining. The expression looks oddly similar to the one she wears when Nyanko-sensei comes around. “Oh, Natsume, that’s—that’s wonderful. That’s the best news!”

“It…is?” His heart is warm, and the relief that floods him makes him sag against the floor. He didn’t expect her to be so happy about it. “Is it—I mean, that’s not weird, right? I’ve never been in love with anyone before, so I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do, or how I’m supposed to feel, and I don’t want anything to be weird.”

“It’s not weird.” She drops her hands and scoots toward him on her knees. “It’s not weird at all, Natsume. Are you… Are you sure you’re in love with him, or do you just think you are?”

He tilts his head in confusion. It’s a fair question, he supposes, but another unexpected reaction. “I…I’m sure. Or at least, as sure as I can be. Like I said, I don’t really know how I’m supposed to feel.”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to feel a certain way.” She looks off above his head in thought. “I’ve never been in love before either, but from what I’ve heard people say, when you are you just know.” Her eyes snap back to him, an eagerness burning brightly in them. “How do you feel about him?”

“Uh.” He sits up straight, his heart hammering lightly in his chest. He’s never spoken aloud about how he feels about Tanuma and it makes him blush again. “He—I think he’s the best person in the world. He makes me happy.” A small smile tugs at his mouth and he doesn’t try to hide it. “I want to be around him all the time. He’s so…thoughtful. And kind. He listens so well and thinks deeply about whatever you tell him, and he cares so much that I worry for him sometimes. He makes me feel calm and…and safe.”

The words flow out of his mouth like a stream of consciousness and before he knows it, he’s voiced something he’s never thought before. Tanuma makes him feel safe. For all the worrying Takashi does about his well-being, for all the sleepless nights he’s spent trying to figure out the best way to protect him, Tanuma still makes him feel safe. Not that he could necessarily hold his own against spirits, but in the sense that, when Takashi is with him, it feels like everything is going to be okay. He hasn’t always felt that way, but they’ve come a long way since Omibashira. Tanuma is his rock, steadfast and constant.

When Takashi has this thought, he knows for sure. “I love him.”

Taki makes a strangled, squealing noise. Takashi barely has time to brace himself before she launches forward and locks her arms around his neck. “I’m so happy for you both!”

He laughs and places his hands lightly on her back. “I haven’t even told him yet, Taki. I have no idea if he feels the same way.”

“Of course he does!” She pulls back, looking more elated than he’s ever seen her. Almost immediately, though, her expression goes slack and her eyes widen and her entire face reddens to the shade of a tomato. “I mean—o-of course, I’m sure he does! Anyone can see how much he cares about you!” She laughs nervously and scratches the back of her head.

Takashi’s brow furrows. Taki has always been the most obvious liar he’s ever met, but he has no idea what she could be blushing about. “That’s not the same thing as being in love, though. I—I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“I don’t think you will!” She leans forward, her eyes practically sparkling. “You should tell him, Natsume! Immediately! Like today!”

Now Takashi is the one who laughs nervously and backs away a little. “Today? I think that might be a little hasty… I don’t even know what to say.”

“Tell him you love him, obviously!” She sits back on her knees and sighs. “You are both so frustrating, I swear. You’d be going around in circles forever if it weren’t for me.”

“Taki.” It’s clear now that something is going on. Takashi doesn’t know what it is, but he shouldn’t have to dig too hard to find out. “What’s up? Is there something you know that I don’t?”

“What? No!” She waves her hand. “I just…think it’s obvious that you both love each other, and I think you should talk about it, that’s all.”

Takashi folds his arms over his chest. “Taki…”

She lets out a groan and pounds a fist into her forehead. “I promised him I wouldn’t say anything! Ugh, fine.” She looks at Takashi again. “But don’t tell him I told you.”

He feels a bit nervous. “Told me what?”

“Tanuma has been in love with you for, like, the past year, Natsume.”

His breath catches in his throat. Whatever he’d been expecting to hear, that had certainly not been it. But that can’t be right. Tanuma has never given any indication of being in love with anyone, much less him. Surely Takashi would’ve had some clue about it, right? Taki must be mistaken.

“What? No, he hasn’t.”

“Yes, he has. He told me last November.”

November…? It’s September now. There’s just no way that can be true. “Wh… Why wouldn’t he say something to me?”

“Why do you think?” She gives him a look that he’s gotten too often lately, also. Like he’s missing something that’s obvious to everyone but him. “He thought it was one-sided. He didn’t want to ruin your friendship either, you know. You’re both too similar sometimes.”

He reaches up to touch his fingertips to his cheek, can feel the heat coming off of it. His heart is pounding and there’s a fluttering in his stomach. “Is that right?”

“That’s why you need to tell him. He’s been pining for ages.”

“Pining?” Images of Nishimura bemoaning an unrequited crush come to mind again. Not that Tanuma would be vocal about it, but it’s…extremely strange to think of anyone pining for him. Especially Tanuma. He’s never been the object of anyone’s desires, romantic or otherwise. Or at least, that’s what he’d always thought.

“Don’t tell him I told you!” Taki repeats.

“I won’t.” His mind is spinning. Tanuma has been in love with him this whole time… Every time they’ve hung out, every time they’ve gotten dragged into spirit business, every time they’ve taken shelter from rain or snow in that little bus stop, was Tanuma itching to tell him? Was he filled with thoughts of taking Takashi’s hand or holding him close, the way Takashi has been fantasizing about?

Takashi suddenly realizes how stupid he really is. Tanuma has been in love with him for a year, and he only just came to terms with his own feelings. If he’d paid better attention, maybe they could have—

“Natsume? Are you still there?”

He blinks out of his daze. “Yes. Sorry, Taki.”

She smiles softly. “So, you’re going to talk to him, right?”

“Um, yes. Yes, I’ll talk to him.” Even with this new revelation, his stomach still turns nauseatingly at the thought.

“Good.” Her smile broadens excitedly and she takes his hands. “You’re going to be such a cute couple! I’m jealous; I hope I find someone I care about that much someday.”

“I’m sure you will.” Takashi returns her smile, though it feels weak.

Her brows draw together. “Is something wrong? I thought you’d be more excited.”

“I am.” He stares at a knot in the wooden floorboards and feels his own insides tying themselves into knots. “I—I’m so nervous, though. I’ve never done anything like this before, and Tanuma is so…”

“Handsome?”

“He’s beautiful.” Takashi groans and lowers his forehead onto the table. “What if he’s been waiting too long and changed his mind?”

“Natsume, I can tell you with the utmost certainty that he hasn’t.”

He turns his head to look at her with one eye. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.” She reaches out to pat his shoulder. “But you need to talk to him soon. Just trust me.”

“Okay.” Slowly, he sits back up. “What should I say?”

The look Taki gives him then is full of the long-suffering patience of a saint. “Just be honest. Tell him how you feel about him. I’m sure you’ll both be able to work it out from there.”

And that’s just great, isn’t it? Being honest and talking about his feelings are probably the two things he’s the worst at in the whole world. He and Tanuma have come close to fighting before because Takashi finds those things so difficult to do.

Before his thoughts begin to spiral too much, he shakes his head. If doing difficult things is what he needs to do for Tanuma, he’ll do them. He’ll practice and he’ll get better and he’ll become good at them if it means he can be by Tanuma’s side. If it means cooking dinner for him and sleeping beside him every night and having matching umbrellas waiting by their front door, he’ll do anything.

He’ll do anything for Tanuma.

Suddenly, the need to see him is so urgent that he’s stuffing his school books and papers into his bag before he can register what it is exactly that he plans to do.

“Natsume?” Taki says.

“Thank you, Taki.” He stands to his full height and looks into her eyes, hoping that he can convey the depths of just how much she’s done for him with one conversation. “Thank you so much. I…I really owe you one.”

And Taki, gods bless her, seems to understand immediately. She gives a determined nod. “Go get your boy, Natsume.”

That’s exactly what he plans to do.

—

He’s panting for breath by the time he makes it to Tanuma’s front door. It’s almost dark, but he doesn’t even really notice as he presses the doorbell. “Hello? Sorry for the intrusion!”

For a moment, he’s afraid that no one is home. He hears no activity from within the house, no footsteps approaching the door.

His immediate reaction is to panic. What if something’s happened? What if Tanuma’s dad is out of town and he’s all alone and a malignant spirit came to his house again? It wouldn’t be the first time. It would be far from the first time Tanuma intentionally kept something important from him. He wouldn’t be able to bear it if something happened and he wasn’t here, if Tanuma was facing something dangerous on his own, right after he’d realized—

The door opens. The door opens and Tanuma is standing there, his tall frame blocking the light from inside. He’s wearing an apron and his hands are dripping with soapy water.

Takashi could almost laugh at himself. He’s really got to stop worrying so much.

“Natsume?”

His voice is the best thing Takashi has ever heard in his entire life. It feels like ages since he’s heard it, even though he’d seen Tanuma just that afternoon before they left school. It’s deep and a little raspy and Takashi wants to listen to it say his name again and again and again.

“Is everything okay?” Tanuma sounds alarmed. He steps out of the doorway a little and lifts a hand towards Takashi before realizing it’s still wet with dishwater. He wipes it on his apron. “You look really pale. What are you doing here so late? Are you alright?”

Takashi’s mouth opens and closes like a caught fish. He’d been so confident on his way here, but now that Tanuma is right in front of him, it’s like every thought in his brain had decided to scatter and disappear. There’s just—nothing.

“You’re scaring me, Natsume.” Tanuma’s brow is furrowed in worry. He’s regarding Takashi like he’s some wild animal, cautious and hesitant. “What’s going on?”

Finally, Takashi is able to draw in a breath and get some control over himself. He grips the strap of his school bag and backs up a couple of steps. “Sorry, Tanuma. Everything is fine. I just…”

Every fiber of his being is suddenly screaming that this is a bad idea. Tanuma is going to think he’s crazy. It doesn’t matter what Taki told him, because now that Tanuma is right in front of him, there doesn’t seem to be any way he could possibly go through with this. Not when he’s so real and tangible and Takashi can smell the scent of the temple incense that always clings to him like an aura.

But then Tanuma reaches out and grabs the fabric of his sleeve. “Wait. Let me get cleaned up and then we can talk, okay? Um—come inside and wait for just one minute.”

Despite everything, Takashi finds himself nodding. He enters the house and toes off his shoes, hangs his bag by the door like he’s done countless times before.

His heart is in his throat, lodged so tightly he can’t swallow past it. He hugs his own arms to his chest like a child. Why is he so scared? There’s nothing to be scared of. He’s safe—he’s at Tanuma’s house and Tanuma is just a room over and he’ll be back in a minute. There’s no reason to be scared around Tanuma.

But, deep down, he knows Tanuma isn’t really the reason he’s scared at all.

He’s scared of the fact that everything is about to change.

Even if he doesn’t say what he came here to say, their relationship is never going to be the same. The very fabric of their bond is different, even if Takashi is the only one who knows it. And he doesn’t—he doesn’t know if he’s ready for that. His and Tanuma’s friendship has been constant and unwavering for over a year. Takashi has always been able to count on it. There’s a quiet comfort in the way that he knows Tanuma will bump his fist in the hallway, or how they sometimes cross paths in the woods. Calm afternoons playing shogi, watching shadows of koi fish on the ceiling, drinking barley tea and lamenting about tests they didn’t study for.

He’s about to risk all of that. That could all be gone just because Takashi decided to utter three small words. Even if the change is good, it’s still change. It’s frightening how, now that he has a life he loves, he wants things to stay the same so badly that he’s having such reservations about telling his favorite person that he loves him. If there’s one thing he knows about life, it’s that it always changes, and somehow that doesn’t seem fair. He isn’t ready to let go of any of it.

But…

Tanuma has been in love with him this whole time, though. He wonders if it’s safe to assume that his friend has been dealing with the same feelings that Takashi is now, for much longer. Maybe the nature of their relationship has always been this way, even if he was unaware of it. Is it possible…things won’t actually be that different?

He ponders, for a moment, a future where he doesn’t confess to Tanuma at all. Where he keeps stewing in these feelings, too afraid to act on them. Where, every time he looks at Tanuma, he thinks about those same feelings being bottled up in him, too. That doesn’t seem fair either.

“He’s been pining for ages.”

No, Takashi has to tell him. Tanuma deserves to know. He’s always kept things to himself in order to protect the people he cares about—or at least, that’s what he always thought he was doing. And, of course, there are some things he really can’t talk about with those closest to him. But other things… Maybe keeping other things to himself is selfish. Maybe keeping this from Tanuma would only be to protect himself.

“You’ll never get anything you want if you don’t ask for it, you know.”

Takashi brings up his hands and slaps them to his cheeks. He has to do this.

“Natsume.”

Tanuma stands in the hallway. The apron is gone and Takashi sees that he’s wearing a baggy sweatshirt and shorts and for some reason it makes his stomach flip. It’s a much more casual outfit than he usually sees him wearing.

“Do you want to go to my room?” he asks.

Takashi nods. He follows Tanuma down the hall and drinks in the sight of his lanky form, his sauntering gate, and notices again how tall he is now. That sweatshirt would dwarf Takashi if he was to put it on.

His heart thuds in his chest when they near the bedroom. Tanuma closes the door and goes to sit on the bed.

Takashi just stands there and feels kind of lost.

“Are you gonna sit down?” Tanuma smiles uncertainly and pats the spot on the bed next to him.

Stiffly, Takashi sits, hands fisting on the fabric over his thighs. He makes sure to keep a respectable distance between them.

“So… What’s up? You’re making me a little nervous.” He laughs half-heartedly. “Are you sure everything is okay?”

Takashi swallows past the lump in his throat. God, he wishes it wasn’t so hard just to talk. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I promise. I just—I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Tanuma pale the slightest bit. “Is it about spirit stuff?”

“No.” It’s kind of sad how his friends just assume that now whenever they think something is wrong. Not that they don’t have reason to, but it highlights just how much of an impact his ability has on them. And on him. “It…actually has nothing to do with that, for once.”

Tanuma calms with a soft sigh and nudges Takashi’s knee with his own. “Then…?”

Here it goes. Takashi feels a little sick to his stomach. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. “Tanuma, I… I’ve been thinking really hard about something for a while now, and I decided I needed to tell you. I don’t want it to change anything if you don’t want it to, or if it makes you uncomfortable, we can just forget about it and never bring it up again and that’s—that’s fine. I just—I thought I should be honest with you.”

He notices Tanuma go oddly still, his hands falling motionless on the blanket. “O-okay. Wh…what is it, Natsume?”

 It’s definitely too late to back out now. He’s gone and made Tanuma anxious, and he feels like his own gut is about to bottom out too. There’s really going to be no going back from this.

He runs clammy palms down his thighs and pulls in a shuddering breath. Then, in a wild act of courage, he looks up and directly into Tanuma’s inky black eyes. “I love you.”

Tanuma exhales like he got punched in the stomach. His eyes go wide and his mouth hangs open like he forgot how to breathe. For a few long, never-ending seconds, he says nothing. Then he blinks a few times, dark eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, and whispers, “You mean, like…”

“I mean I’m in love with you.” Takashi’s hands tremble so badly he has to sit on them. “I think I have been for a long time. But I didn’t realize it until recently, and I didn’t know if I should tell you because this is so…new for me and I couldn’t bear to lose you and I—I’m scared, Tanuma. I’ve never felt this way before. I treasure you so much I can’t even put it into words.” His chest hitches and as much as he doesn’t want to cry, his eyes start to well up. “I don’t want things to change between us, but I love you and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Before he can stop it, tears are flowing freely down his face. He’s mortified, but there’s nothing he can do. Nothing except hide his face in his hands and brace himself for whatever Tanuma might say or do.

He feels Tanuma get up from the bed and his heart nearly stops. But then there are slender fingers on his wrists gently prying his hands away.

“Natsume—hey, hey. It’s alright.”

He looks into Tanuma’s face and he’s never seen him wear an expression quite like this before. His eyes are shining and they’re so full of what Takashi can only describe as love, naked and pure. Tanuma is always, always gentle, but the tenderness in this expression now is too much for Takashi’s heart to bear. He feels like it’s about to burst out of his chest. He never wants Tanuma to look at him another way ever again.

Something unspoken passes between them. As if drawn by a magnet, Takashi launches himself into Tanuma’s arms and those arms receive him eagerly. One hand cups the back of his head and the other wraps around his shoulders and his face presses into Tanuma’s broad chest and he sobs. He’s been waiting for this for so long. He hadn’t even realized just how much he was starving for it. His hands clutch at the fabric on Tanuma’s back and he’s sure that if lets go, he’ll die. He wants to be held like this for the rest of his life.

Tanuma’s chest shudders too. His arms shift to get a better hold on Takashi’s smaller frame, crushing it into him, and he lifts his chin to rest on the top of Takashi’s head. “I never thought I’d hear you say that.” The words come as a hoarse, trembling whisper. “I’m so—I’m so happy.”

Takashi laughs through his tears. He’s so stupid. How could he have ever been hesitant about this? This feels like the only truly good thing he’s ever done.

They sit that way for a long time—long enough for their tears to taper off, and for Takashi’s knees to start aching from kneeling on the floor. Even then, he can’t bring himself to move. Tanuma’s hand is petting his hair and he can feel his rib cage expanding with every breath he takes. He inhales the scent of incense and laundry detergent and feels like he could get drunk on it.

Finally, though, they pull apart. Tanuma keeps his hands on Takashi’s shoulders.

“Are you okay, Natsume?”

“Yeah.” He wipes the last of the tears away with the heel of his palm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to start crying. I don’t know why I—”

“Hey, don’t apologize.” Tanuma rises from his spot on the floor and takes Takashi’s hand, helping him stand and leading him to sit on the bed once more. “And don’t pretend I wasn’t crying too.”

Takashi laughs softly. There are a few droplets of moisture still clinging to Tanuma’s long lashes. He’s so beautiful, it hurts. They’re sitting closer together this time, their knees touching, but Takashi wishes they were closer. He looks longingly down to where Tanuma’s hand is resting on the blanket again.

Tanuma clears his throat. “So, you love me, huh?”

A blush slams into Takashi’s cheeks. “I do. I’m sorry if all of this seems out of the blue, or if it’s weird. Like I said, nothing needs to change if you don’t want it to, but I just felt like I had to—”

“I love you, too.” Tanuma turns on the mattress so he can look at Takashi head-on, drawing up one knee and facing him squarely. “I’ve been in love with you for a really long time, actually. I wasn’t ever planning on telling you, though, because you’re always dealing with so much and I didn’t want to add any stress to your life. And… I didn’t think you felt the same way. It didn’t seem fair to put that on you, so I just kind of accepted the fact that you’d never know how I really felt.” He laughs a little. “I’ve gotten so used to it now, it feels strange to talk about out loud.”

Takashi’s chest feels tight. “Tanuma…”

“I can’t believe you beat me to it.” He smiles so warmly, Takashi would never have known he’d been hiding away such longing but for the pain that manages to make its way into his dark eyes.

Guilt rears its head again, though Takashi doesn’t know if it’s founded or not. He hates the fact that Tanuma has been hiding something so big for so long, and he hates that he’s the cause of it. It must have been painful. Takashi honestly doesn’t know how he would’ve reacted if Tanuma had confessed before he was able to work out his own feelings, but at least then maybe his friend wouldn’t have suffered so much on his account. Looking back, he doesn’t think he ever gave Tanuma a reason to believe it was a good idea to tell him, though. Maybe Tanuma thought it would be infinitely worse to confess and not have his love returned.

That’s fair. Maybe Takashi didn’t have the space for such things until recently. Maybe that’s the real reason he was finally able to realize that what he feels for Tanuma is love—romantic love. He’s learned so much in the past couple of years; he’s learned that he loves people and he loves spirits and that, perhaps, he can balance those two worlds. He’s learned that he is loved in return, and that life can be happy and beautiful and he doesn’t have to be in pain all the time. He feels stable now, and maybe that’s why his heart has opened up to provide room for a different kind of love—the love that he wants to share with Tanuma.

“I’m sorry you were waiting for me for so long,” he says.

Tanuma shakes his head. “Don’t be, Natsume. I never expected anything from you. We’ve never talked about it, but it didn’t seem like you were ever in a place to think about these kinds of things, and I was fine with that. I just…I understand, is what I’m trying to say. And I’m happy enough just being by your side. I never needed you to return my feelings.”

This is why Takashi loves him so much, he thinks. Besides being an all-around wonderful person, he has an uncanny ability to understand what Takashi is thinking and feeling, sometimes. He always seems to know exactly what Takashi needs, often times better than Takashi does himself. The fact that he’s given this so much thought is just proof that he really does love him as much as he says.

“Not that I didn’t want you to!” Tanuma rushes to add. “I’m—I’m so happy right now I don’t know what to do. I never expected you to—” He takes a deep breath and looks into Takashi’s eyes. “Whatever you want to do, Natsume, that’s what I want, too. We don’t have to act on this if you’re not ready. We can just go on being friends, because that’s more than enough for me. But if you want to…” His eyes drift down and linger on something just below Takashi’s eyes and a pretty pink dusts his cheeks. “I would… I would really like to kiss you.”

Takashi’s breath halts in his lungs and his pulse quickens until it’s pounding and his whole body flushes from head to toe. This is definitely, really happening. He nods before he even knows what he’s doing. “Okay.”

And Tanuma, bless his heart, hesitates and searches Takashi’s face. “Are you sure?”

He doesn’t even have to think about it. He leans in and grabs Tanuma’s sweatshirt. “Yes.”

Tanuma’s fingers caress his cheek briefly, and he has to bend down a little to meet his lips. When they touch, fireworks erupt inside of Takashi.

He never thought about what his first kiss would be like. He never gave any thought to romance at all, really, because it always felt like something far away and unobtainable. Romance and love were for normal people who couldn’t see spirits, who never knew the struggle of being alone. They weren’t for people like Takashi. He never believed he would have a first kiss at all, and that was a little painful to think about it, so he just didn’t.

His life has changed so much. He didn’t even realize it was happening until it had happened already.

Tanuma’s lips are soft. They touch him with just as much gentleness and reverence as Tanuma always treats him with. Takashi feels his breath against his skin, hears it exhale through his nose. Tanuma’s fingers trace his jaw, feather-light and careful. Takashi’s hands fist in Tanuma’s sweatshirt and hold on, like he might drift away otherwise.

He feels drunk. He could worship Tanuma like this, forever.

Too soon, the kiss ends. He keeps his eyes closed for a minute, trying to cling to the feeling of Tanuma as long as he can. When he opens his eyes, Tanuma is gazing at him like he’s some sort of wonder, and he looks drunk, too.

He reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind Takashi’s ear. “You’re beautiful, Natsume.”

Takashi ducks his head and feels color rush to his cheeks again, too bashful to even tell him that he’s beautiful too.

“Are you okay with this?”

“Huh?” Maybe his head is still scrambled, but he can’t grasp what he means.

“Just—” Tanuma looks more concerned than he should. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, or do anything you don’t want to. We just told each other that we love each other and that’s, like, a big deal. I just want to make sure you feel safe.”

God, he loves him so much. “I do, Tanuma. I always feel safe when I’m with you. I think…I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.” He doesn’t say that he wants to do other things, too, like fall asleep in his arms or buy a house together.

“Good.” Tanuma’s smile is full of relief and absolute unbridled joy. “I have too. You have no idea.”

He believes that’s true now. The irony isn’t lost on him, either, how it seems that they’ve had the exact same thoughts about each other. Taki is probably right about how they’d be going around in circles if left to their own devices.

He hopes that they can stop tiptoeing around each other sometime in the future. They’re both too considerate to be presumptuous, but he knows this is just as new for Tanuma as it is for him. And that’s just how they are. The other comes first, no matter what.

“I don’t think I’ll be very good at this, Tanuma.”

Tanuma tilts his head. “What do you mean?”

A tendril of anxiety curls around his gut. “I mean… I’m not very good at talking about my feelings, and I have trouble being honest sometimes. I still get freaked out when people care too much about me, or when I care too much for somebody else. I can’t promise I’ll be the perfect boyfriend to you.” Slowly, hesitantly, he takes Tanuma’s hand in both of his and holds it to his chest like a precious treasure. “But I can promise that I’ll try my best. I’ll work on getting better at all of those things, because you deserve it.”

Tanuma stares at him for a moment like he’s confused, and then he starts to laugh. He brings his free hand up and covers Takashi’s with it. “Natsume… You think I don’t know all of that about you already? I definitely disagree with some of it, but I know you. I know how you are, so don’t worry, okay? I have pretty realistic expectations, I think.”

That’s right. He forgets sometimes that he doesn’t need to explain himself to some people anymore. Tanuma has been with him through so much. He’s seen Takashi at his worst—or at least the worst anyone else has ever seen him at—and he loves him anyway. That feels like a miracle.

“But you…want to be my boyfriend?”

The question is posed with disbelief. Takashi blinks. “Well, yeah. I thought that—that’s what you do next after confessing.” Panic starts building. “Is that wrong? Do you not want to?”

For just a fleeting moment, he’s worried that that isn’t what Tanuma had in mind at all. Takashi doesn’t know what he’s doing, after all. Could he have completely misunderstood—?

“Of course I do.” Tanuma says it urgently, leaning towards him with frantic eagerness. “But you want to? That’s a big step, Natsume. We don’t have to rush into anything if you don’t want to. You’re sure you’re ready for something like that?”

He takes a moment to think about it. It is a pretty big commitment, he guesses. He has no idea what it means to be someone’s boyfriend, but while he doesn’t think he’ll be any good at it at first, he knows he can learn. It doesn’t feel right to just go on being friends with Tanuma. He doesn’t want to.

When he speaks again, his words are slow and thoughtful. “If I’m ever going to be anyone’s boyfriend, I’m going to be yours, Tanuma.”

He hears Tanuma’s breath catch in his throat.

“There’s no one else I’d rather take this step with. I don’t think there will ever be anyone else, to be honest. So, yes, I want to. I’m ready.” He smiles. “I don’t know what I’m doing, but I want to learn. With you.”

For a second, he thinks he might see Tanuma’s lip tremble. He can’t be sure, though, because the next things he knows is that Tanuma has his face buried in his shoulder and his arms wrapped around his waist. His smile widens further. He hugs Tanuma again, and it feels just as nice to be the one doing the holding as the one being held. He hopes the future will be filled with a lot more of this.

“I don’t know what I’m doing either, for the record.” Tanuma’s voice is muffled by his shirt. “But you’re right—we’ll learn together.”

Takashi cards his fingers through Tanuma’s hair, ruffling it even more, and experimentally presses a kiss to the crown of his head. It feels strange to do—it still doesn’t seem like he’s allowed, and it’s such a foreign, unfamiliar action—but he gets to do it now. He can’t wait until it’s something he does as naturally as breathing. He can’t wait until the sensation of Tanuma’s hair is so familiar he can feel it without touching it.

Tanuma presses himself closer in response, fingers making indents in Takashi’s ribcage. They sit that way for a while longer, until their heartbeats sync up and Takashi is thinking maybe he doesn’t need to move ever again.

But, eventually, Tanuma lifts his head and pushes himself up. “It’s getting pretty late. Do you want to stay here tonight?”

“I do.” He grins regretfully. “But I promised the Fujiwaras I’d play a board game with them tonight, and I’m sure they’re getting worried. Maybe tomorrow?”

It feels wrong, to part ways now after all of that. He really doesn’t want to go, but maybe it’s best for them both to have some time to process it all. And they have all the time in the world to spend together.

“Deal,” Tanuma says with a pretty smile. “I’ll walk you out.”

They reach the entryway and Takashi puts on his shoes and slings his bag over his shoulder. Crickets are chirping through the open door and a warm breeze drifts by. He turns around on the stoop and lets his gaze linger on Tanuma for a moment more. “Thank you, Tanuma.”

“For what?”

“For just…being you. For being so kind and understanding. I was so nervous to talk to you about this, but you made it so easy.”

Tanuma shakes his head. “I didn’t do anything, Natsume. I’m the one who should be thanking you. I’m…I’m really glad you talked to me. I feel really lucky.” His palm comes up to cup the side of Takashi’s face, thumb sliding across his cheekbone.

Takashi nuzzles into it. “So do I.”

“Can I kiss you goodnight?”

He laughs gently. “Are you gonna ask for permission every time?”

“Probably.” His smile is so handsome. “At least until we get some more practice.”

“You’re a dork.” Takashi reaches up and grabs his wrist. “You can kiss me now.”

The second kiss is just as incredible as the first. Maybe even better, because this time Takashi’s heart doesn’t feel like it wants to beat its way out of his chest quite so much. It tastes sweet and full of promise.

“Hah?!”

The sudden cry makes them both flinch and pull apart.

Nyanko-sensei is on the path coming up from the woods to Tanuma’s front door. He’s frozen in his tracks, a truly horrified expression on his face.

Takashi’s face is suddenly boiling. “S-Sensei!”

“I come all this way to make sure nothing’s eaten you and this whole time you’ve been fooling around?!”

“I was not fooling around!” He hasn’t even had time to think about how he would tell anyone about this recent development. It’s not terribly surprising that Nyanko-sensei happened to barge in on this intimate moment, but he’s definitely not prepared to explain anything just yet.

“Whatever you want to call it! I’ve been looking for you all afternoon thinking you got into some trouble and when I finally find you you’re kissing Tanuma? Stupid idiot!”

“Hey.” Tanuma steps closer to Takashi and wraps an arm around his shoulders. “Be nice, Ponta. That’s my boyfriend you’re talking to.”

Butterflies flutter and swirl in Takashi’s stomach. He can’t even be embarrassed, even though he probably should be. He wonders if he’ll ever stop blushing.

Nyanko’s mouth hangs open comically and one eye twitches. “How long did I leave you alone for, Natsume?!”

“Not long enough,” Takashi sighs.

Nyanko huffs in exasperation. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. At least maybe now your head won’t be in the clouds all the damn time.” He points a stubby paw in Tanuma’s direction. “But you! Don’t go distracting him too much! It makes my job harder!”

Tanuma laughs good-naturedly. “Sir, yes sir.”

“Honestly, you should’ve asked my permission before going and turning Natsume into some love-struck schoolgirl. It’s just good manners.”

Now Takashi is embarrassed. “Nyanko-sensei!”

Tanuma just laughs even harder and squeezes Takashi’s shoulders. “You should probably get going. Don’t keep the Fujiwaras waiting too long.”

“Right.” He smiles up at Tanuma and vows that, tomorrow, he’ll tell him how handsome he is with his growth spurt. Knowing Tanuma, he hasn’t even noticed his own change. “Goodnight, Tanuma.”

“Goodnight, Natsume.”

Their arms slide together as Takashi steps away and they squeeze each other’s fingers before their hands part, a silent I love you hanging in the air between them. Takashi’s heart aches a little as he walks away from the house and Tanuma becomes a silhouette in the distance, but he feels lighter than he has in a long, long time. The summer air feels hopeful and full of potential and for once, he isn’t scared of the future at all.

“It’s about time you got that over with.”

“Hm?” He looks down at his bodyguard. “I thought you were mad.”

The cat turns his nose up in the air. “Well, I’m definitely not happy about it. You’re going to be even more insufferable now. But you’ve been too mopey about him for too long. It’s good you figured it out on your own.”

“Figured it out…?” Suddenly every conversation he’s had recently comes back and he feels hot with mortification. “Has everyone known what was going on except for me?!”

“Probably. It was obvious enough, and you’re an idiot. You and Tanuma are both idiots.”

For once, he thinks Nyanko-sensei may be right.

The cat hops up onto his shoulder. “Now, pick up the pace, Natsume! I heard Touko say she’s making pudding for game night!”

Takashi can’t help but be touched, because even though he’d never say it in so many words, he knows this is Nyanko-sensei’s way of showing his support. He pats the cat on the head. “Okay, Sensei.”

As he jogs towards his house, his heart feels fuller than it ever has before. There’s so much love in it that he’s afraid it’s going to overflow. And, for the first time, it isn’t just that he’s receiving love—he has an abundance of it to give, and that’s the most amazing thing of all. He’s ready to give that love to everyone he can.

He’s ready to love Tanuma most of all. This brand new flame that’s sparked between them is something he’ll cherish and nurture until it’s a blazing fire. He isn’t scared. He doesn’t want to run from it.

Whatever their future is together, he can’t wait to see it.